geekysteven

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minotaur costumes from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

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The only thing the Dread Pirate Roberts taught Westley was to procrastinate.

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Got fired from the Civil War museum for calling all the informational plaques "flavor text"

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as far as i’m concerned all pussy is clown pussy

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impulse purchase? impulse purchase? i pulse purchae? impulse ourchase? i pulse pkrcgae? imphbsi pufccjBeev? impudlwe pufxjjabwvv?

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it’s always “stiff” competition when im involved 😎 (i hurt my back)

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If I were a little creature I would scurry into my burrow at the smallest sign of danger. What was that?? Hehehe missed me I'm in my burrow now

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Back in my day, we didn't have your fancy block lists, or autofilters, when you found a bigot you just had to convince several strangers to write “Kung pow penis” in the comments which was annoying but would immediately kill them if it worked

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If I were a little creature I would scurry into my burrow at the smallest sign of danger. What was that?? Hehehe missed me I'm in my burrow now

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I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

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It may seem like a plot hole that Goku’s family struggles with money. After all, he's a professional athlete, Chi-Chi is the daughter of a king and they have regular access to wish granting dragons. But all of this ignores that Goku and Gohan had inpatient hospital bills once

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Pandora's Cat: all the evil was let out into the world when it was knocked off the table.

Schrödinger's box: until you check the opened box it both does not and does contain hope.

imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg

"chekhovs cat / schrödingers razor / occams gun"

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We could beam away the English and there'd be no Troubles at all

[ID: grainy photo of a man with his arms outstretched in a "stop" gesture.His face is replaced by Data from Star Trek The Next Generation. Text reads "before 2024 end anybody want to reunify the Irish"]

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MY CAT: Catching this toy is too hard, I'm bored, make it easy to catch.

ME: (Makes it super easy for cat to catch toy)

MY CAT: Behold my great triumph! I have vanquished the greatest opponent that ever cat faced. The struggle was mighty but I was mightier! Witness my glory!

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[ID: screenshot of tags by please-excuse-the-mess reading hope, faith, and filtered water]

It must suck being the second generation of a post apocalyptic world cause like half the population is gonna be named Hope or some shit

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Captain Beefheart going on Antiques Roadshow only to learn he doesn't have an original trout mask.