#cw anxiety (at the end)

[slavhew]

skirts suit strider

[harpieisthecarpie]

Harp's way too long "interpreting Jayvik as a queer rework of Judas & Jesus" ramble (BASS BOOSTED)

Okay so I have a ramble about jayvik's jesus/judas parallels that was inspired by the acoustic vers of JUDAS by The Reverent Marigold (amazing trans nb artist pls listen) and a mutual I'll tag in a reblog bc this is LONG

But this particular song is one I hold close to my heart (and project onto my favorite stories) bc it's a fundamentally compassionate reading of a biblical figure who is viewed as anathema by believers for a fate he never even had the chance to change.

To skip my kinda long Judas preface ramble go to the next orange text

Jesus forsees Judas's betrayal, he lets it happen. Yet Judas has become a reviled figure for being the catalyst of Jesus's transcendence from prophet to Christian deity.

Jesus had to be betrayed, he had to "die for our sins", and he had to fall so he could ascend. He could not be the redeemer without his betrayer.

Yet Judas, who is argued to either be destined or hellishly influenced for his betrayal, in my eyes didn't have to betray Jesus with a kiss. An emotional gesture, whether romantic or familial or platonic or whatever.

There was a gesture of devotion even in that act of persecution, and Judas died in despair of his own actions.

Okay this is the jayvik ur here for

Okay okay this is the part about jayvik, because when everyone was mad over Jayce killing Viktor during the 2nd batch of s2 eps, all I could think about how Viktor had been stuck in a limbo. Half ascendant and half trapped by his mortal form.

Like Christ was Jesus of Nazareth before being the Son of God, s2 Viktor is stuck in the middle of The Scientist and The Herald. Not quite mortal, not fully deity.

Something's gotta give, someone has to hammer the last nail in his coffin (or the crucifix in this instance), someone has to be the Betrayer for Viktor to be the Redeemer. And would we really want it to be anyone other than Jayce?

Would Viktor want it to be anyone other than Jayce? Someone other than his partner, the first man he saved on his path to ascendance. The man killing him with compassion because the Viktor of before had never wanted this.

And it's fascinating to me that within the parallel to Christianity, the differences in Arcane's story give Jayce and Viktor a far more lovely, compassionate ending than Judas and Jesus ever had. At least in the mainstream canon.

It's why I compared jayvik to Rev Mari's JUDAS instead of the basic story. JUDAS's queer themes and Rev Mari's lyricism reframe Judas in a kinder light and humanize Jesus in ways that make me so happy.

Lyric examples:

Because queerness, especially in gender, is so deeply about compassion, and living true to ourselves, and killing what is keeping us from growing into our own identities.

And the fact that Viktor and Jayce, with all their allegorical connections to the Savior and Betrayer, got such a beautiful, transcendent, and queer ending is. Meaningful

Wayyy more analysis under the cut! YAY

go to the next pink if you only want my main conclusion :]

Because Judas's story ended in him taking his own life, and Jayce was given a near rebirth when Viktor saved him from taking his own.

Judas's betrayal was predestined as a tool for Jesus's ascension to Christ the Son, while Jayce's betrayal was that he actively went against Viktor's decision and Viktor's autonomy. When Jayce killed the in-between Viktor he was repenting for that betrayal, and in doing so he was saving himself. In the Christian sense of the word, where Salvation is of the soul.

Only, in the Christian sense of the word, Jayce's salvation would have to come from the Savior. He would be praying for guidance, even if from that in-between Viktor.

But he doesn't put the onus on Viktor to forgive him, he doesn't compromise his devotion to his partner Viktor at the behest of this new Viktor that came from Jayce's betrayal.

When Judas sent Jesus off to die, that was his greatest sin. Jayce's was forcing Viktor to live in spite of Viktor's wishes.

The popular belief is that Judas was condemned to eternal damnation, punishment for a betrayal that Christ needed to ascend. And I think that is the saddest, most hopeless thing in the world.

If Christ couldn't– or wouldn't– save his friend and follower who fell so deep into guilt when his led to Jesus of Nazareth's death that he killed himself, how could anyone trust in their own salvation? If Judas was condemned to rot in Hell when his "loving" deity was done using him, why the fuck would anyone want that Salvation?

pink text indicating the conclusion

So Jayce and Viktor, in this fucking fundamentally queer story, saving each other and knowing each other and finding each other in every fucking reality like their souls could never exist apart is beautiful to me.

Neither of them were the passive objects of the other's Salvation. We know this because Jayce's original betrayal and the Herald's reality shifting "fixes" didn't save the other, nor did those actions condemn themselves.

Neither were helpless, or groveling for "forgiveness", or forced to fundamentally alter who they were at the core in order to be worthy of goodness.

They weren't exactly Jesus of Nazareth and Judas Iscariot, because Jayce and Viktor were written with a fundamentally queer compassion many refuse to apply to their faith.

Neither Jayce nor Viktor were purely Salvation or Forgiveness.

They were better. Jayce and Viktor saved each other, and themselves, when instead of forgiveness they offered acceptence and compassion.

I read it as:

There is nothing to forgive, because there is nothing wrong with you. I'm sorry I tried to change you, there is nothing wrong with you. I will prove in every reality that there is nothing wrong with you.

I found you again, and I'll find you again, because you held my soul so gently your hands left shining, iridescent marks that guide me to you in every reality.

There is no Jayce without Viktor, and no Viktor without Jayce, because they made it so. They chose to be soulmates, in whatever way you want to read it. And that means so much to me.

tl;dr arcane showed us the kinda religion we'd get if they let jesus be trans and have a boyfriend

[garoujo]

i’m not normally one to bring negative vibes onto my blog but i’ve gotten a sudden wave of unease being on here tbh so im considering drifting from here for a little bit once more. i’ve thought about creating a new blog but also wouldn’t want to waste the masterlist that i’ve worked hard to build for the people who enjoy my work + support me!

i’ve never had a super close circle of friends as such on here but i’m very grateful for the few friends i have made that continue to interact with me. i do really enjoy tumblr and i love creating, i’m grateful for the interaction i get and i know i’ve been on here a while but there always seems to be a sort of uneasiness that i feel stems from previous problems with other people on here.

it can feel a little silly from a blog like me feeling a little ‘outcasted’ and i don’t even know if i’d use that word, but i’ve just never been one that felt comfortable with the sort of underground, high school energy that i sometimes feel radiate around here. i guess i sometimes feel like i’m walking on egg shells to avoid sub posts / bad energy because i really only want to enjoy myself! but yeah, i’m gonna be less active for a few days atleast because i really need the rest anyway after my holiday + a few things on here have just sort of triggered my mental health.

but just know i love all of u, thank u for everything no matter what <3

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[beatheprincess]

Hm will I ever find a man whose emotionally mature?🤔✌🏽💜

[uzumakichcined]

Deranged baby Based on my one post if Karin absolutely snapped outfit based on her dragon blade crossover she'd also forego wearing her glasses or anything because she'd 100% rely on her mind's eye to see anyone around her

[oculusxcaro]

This drabble is turning out to be even more brutal than I imagined.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

hiiiiii besties

[seventh-district]

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[andaniellight]

Something's going on under the surface of the earth and it seems like it's spreading out with all these earthquakes and i don't know how to feel about it

[hegrowth]

just me, desperately shaking things hoping they will spark joy. but nothing sparks joy :,D depression sucks yall. everything is a struggle :c and idk what to do about it anymore.

[dandyshucks]

going to cry because i am worried i won't finish all the crochet gifts in time :''")

[wolfnlamb]

Interrupting my yearning posts with a post about how I’ve successfully stressed myself out for no reason the last few days. A+ Lela.

[beatheprincess]

I get this random ah anxiety when I go to sleep at night (I've had this on and off for awhile) I rly hate it bcus my brain has nothing else to leech off of at night- so I'll practice breathing exercises/stretching or asmr constantly. That always help me relax🎀

[earl-grey-love]

I've been struggling w sensory overload a lot lately, and I was always confused as to why. 😐

Maybe playing 2-3 different games at once and watching a video/movie/show at the same time has something to do with it.

[rotturn]

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[wanderingibon]

update either it’s the classic stress physically manifesting in my body as gastrointestinal problems or I might have some sort of stomach virus😭?