#cuz me n that friend talk and confide w each other abt anxiety and other stuff like that

[itspeanutlove]

was i supposed to know that a majority of my old friends from my old elementary school class were neurodivergent or was i supposed to find out by two of them seperately mentioning their ADHD diagnosis and one of them telling me abt their experience with anxiety?

[bluenightcomedies]

uuuugh i keep procrastinating cuz i wanna make new refs n' arts n' all for us all but art slow so fuggit placeholder pinned abt the system better pinned with comm details, other accs, etc later :3 will reopen for commissions once arty verifies me! as a whole we're legally deaf and disabled! we can all draw but have diff styles/preferences :3 body is 30 (eugh i don't like admitting that) so am adult BUT we don't wanna be involved in nsfw art so pls respect that⭐ We can't get a formal diagnosis due to various real life issues, so we're not going to claim any particular diagnosis, but we can't exactly ignore the symptoms and stay masked forever. We're going to stay out of syscourse as much as possible, of course. 🌙 each alter has an assigned emoji so ppl can tell us apart easier if needed, use em as our tags too (when we remember) note- using they/them for any of us fine too!⭐

(doesn't include alters that rarely or never front) ⭐star emoji = Blue! she/her pls~ guess i'm the honorary host cuz i front most. uhhh... nothing rly too fancy i can say abt myself, i'm p affectionate and love y2k art and hanging out, i try to be as nice as i can >w< my art's usually sketchbooky, with thin lines and soft colors/shading!

💠this blue gem/flower emoji is Azure! she/her, she's kinda new to the system. looks n' acts a lot like me but uh... more childish i guess? very silly, very 'cringe culture is dead'. loves to rp, say silly things, n' cling to people. hyperfixates on Dot Hack (RIP) her art looks like mspaint x3 🌙 (Writing for myself since I'm available.) The name's Lune, hence moon emoji, and I use she/her pronouns as well. Formerly "Starry" but people kept confusing me with Blue due to her star symbolism. Used to be the designated mask, I'm glad I don't have to do that anymore... Sometimes I re-mask out of habit so if something sounds like me but wasn't marked as an alter, it probably is me. I have a flat tone and chronic paranoid anxiety so uh... Let me know if I come across as rude, I usually don't mean to. I enjoy doing research and organizing information, so I'm often the one to fact-check things or find guides and how-to's for the system. My art's very bold and colorful, and friends describe it as 'angular'. Clashes with my personality, huh? 🗝️key emoji = Sylverwynd! he uses he/him! he's super laid back and chill, i've never seen him upset or anything, but he's rly long-winded talks... kinda poet-y? he loves reading and talking abt lore and myths so he'll pop in if ur talking abt something he likes or if he has trivia 2 share! fave genres r horror n' fantasy he's still experimenting w/ style but likes drawing rly soft

❌cross emoji= Laceburner! it/its or they/them pronouns! tbh i'm not used to it/its pronouns but Lace wanted em; it's very uh... emotionally empty i guess? aroace, agender, can't socialize or empathize v well. it usually fronts when the rest of us are tired or in pain cuz it just ignores all that. likes 2000's scenemo aesthetics though which is surprising but ye idk how to describe its style, but it's trying to mimic emo art n' likes bright colored lines with dark bg/colors 🗡️the dagger is Kal! he/him pronouns, he gets angry and stressed abt things really easy but he gets too hostile abt it so he tries to not front too much; need to find him a way to de-stress n' chill out... when he's not mad at smth he's a good sympathetic listener imo, still swears and talks all rough tho hasn't drawn much yet but does rly harsh lines and fast/messy sketches when he does (and gets riled up by mistakes =w=;)

❤️heart is Weiss! genderfluid, goes by any pronouns, usually uses whatever they like at the time x3 has a hard time fronting but tries to. flirty, loves dumb jokes, overly confident... (we worry they'd get us in trouble sometimes cuz the shit they want to say) loves demon and monster-related stuff! still experimental style but uses bold colors and thick rough lines a lot, may get suggestive (forbidden from outright nsfw, don't ask >:c) btw ur always welcome to direct asks @ someone specific >w< we just might take a while to respond

[foamremaking]

💕🌸HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ❣️✨

@htrp this is for u bubba,!!!! Ur asleep rn but hopefully u will see this in the morning and know that i love you from the very bottom of my heart, to carry tradition here is a post from me to u,,, ill probABBLYYY BE BUSY WORKING ON MY GIFT FOR U. . IDK IF ILL HAVE IT FINISHED… BUT KNOW THAT I LLVE YOU SO VERY MUCH AND THAT IM PRPUD OF YOU AND IM PRPUD OF US FOR MAKING THIS FAR DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS WE FACED…. and to those reading this, u_u im just gay so uMyEAH…… LETS… GET THIS PARTY STARTED. .

when i had first met u admittedly you gave me bad vibes (but most ppl did) and u met me when i was in an all time low, where i was unbelievably depressed and felt like love and friendship were false and fake. (lol i identified as a/rom/antic because of it) & that it was just a waste of time frankly!!! when we met it was through me kinkshaming u ajgGdhshshhdh I HATE THE FACT THATS HOW WE MET… IT WOILDVE BEEN CUTE IF WE MET DIFFERENTLY BUT… im glad we met then, becayse u pulled me out if a dark area that i thought id never leave. i was insecure, afraid, and i built walls around me to protect me from being hurt. i was used to heing ditched, i was used to people leaving, i was used to being forgotten and left behind. i had abandonmwnt issues that forever took hold of my anxiety of interaction and friendship. but u persisted!!! u kept mwssaging me in pms cuz i didnt talk a lot in our group, u would talk to me everyday and would be subtly flirtatious @ me. and it worked. i fell hard for u, i was thinking abt u everyday and looking forward to messaging u, i laughed at the fact that we were both from oceania.. kiwi & kangaroo… lmao… i rmb calling u as much as i could, i rmb showing u me cooking, i rmb talking from day to the early morning with u. i felt happy, i felt so happy. eventually we began flirting back each other??? just confused?m at the same time what we were doing lol!! every1 thought we were dating cuz of how gay we were… especially the day u gave me the nickname queen u////u and saying u were my king. it was gay lol.. AND U KEPT CONFUSING ME… cuz when ppl asked if u wanted 2 date me u were like “depends on them!!” like!! bish!! wtf!n u sending me mixed signals!!! >-< + i had to be rlly subtle and smooth w/ asking if ur single or not but mentioning how i broke up w/ my ex in hopes itll spark convos abt being single!!!! and u were!! single when i thoight u were taken!! omg!!! so we.. hit off rlly well, i was in love w/ u & i didnt kno how to handle that. but then.. like.. during a late night call around 12oclock i went silent to pm u on skype asking what u feel abt dating. the whole day j was thinking abt askkng u out and before i did i was panicking so hard!! i coildnt breathe and i was shaking so hard!!! & yet again u gave me a confusing response like “mmMmmMmm idm either way” and i saidyes i want to date u!! then we started dating!n and giggled in call and every1 knew what happened!!!

we would talk everyday and be there for each other everyday, i opened up to you more and more until u could reach the very core of me and dissect everything abt me so easily, you understood me better then i knew myself and i was stunned rhat foe the first time in never did someone finally understand me… someone i could talk 2 & could help me through anythig, my favorite line… my favorite phrase was constantly bring up how we are a team, and to this day we still do!!! say that a lot!! a nd i love it cuz i see our relationship as a team, as we work together through anything. together we cna get through anything!n admittedly there were rough times, hard, and we were going through many shit!! drama & w/e + all that shit w/ ex friends and those gross ppl… but yknow, in the end we stayed together cuzwe established undeniable trust while also making sure to communicate everything & anything to each other cuz we had to have trust in one n other. sure we are still tumbling around that sometimes but ive never been so open to someone as much as i have w/ u, i can b myself w/ u w/o being afraid cuz u truly loveme for me and j truly love u for u 💕💕💕💕💕 we may have stumbled here and there but i am confident that we know rach other so much and we are wAYYYY MORE OPEN THEN WE WERE AT THE START!!!! i could say anything & u could saying anythign and we dont minda aaaaaa im jusg lucky to have someone who i can be so openw/ ;_____;;🌸🌸🌸✨✨✨💕💕 you know my flaws and i know yours, we tell each kther off and thats what i love, is being able to recogniZe eCh others weaknesses and handling them well.

and i truly do want to marry you one day, and i will make it happen. and i will make sure that you’ll be happy, ❣️❣️ thank you, for choosing me, and for letting me be with u for so long, and trusting me. 💕💕💕

[ildivine]

connor n i have been dating almost a year in july n im wildin about it.

its felt incredibly natural. even when we were spending a ton of time together, ze somehow worked it out around zir busy schedule, n still does. i reminisce on the early days in the garden... things were simple, diffurent, n naturally i couldnt keep my feelings a secret fur long. i remempurr being really excited, and really scared when that excitement was dying down, cuz what does that mean oh no is it bad??? am i falling out of love?? will the world fall apurrt even if i do??? turns out none of that is true n we jus have great chemistry by design n im grateful im a median that can suck ppl into my dreams occasionally but...

i still wonder if im doing whats right. zes just as smart, and quirky, and occasionally naive and dismissive yet utterly mature and adoring and emotive yet stable as i imagined in my mind n all my fanfictions. im not used to falling out of the honeymoon stage without immediately moving on to someone else, n honestly after ze heard abt my history with dave, we were both a bit worried about it.

but excitement and infatuation and love, romantic and familial, r all v diff things, n its natural that someone like me, who had no real concept of any of this things fur a really long time n someone like zem whos fresh to the concept yet knows how to date traditionally organically, work together well enough ive... learned enough to tell i still have a lot more to learn.

i still have a lot of negative expectations we’ve dealt with thru our relationship, and even our relationship with dean. dean is much more jaded than either of us, and connor is still brand new to the world, and i still feel confused and unsure about it all, but also two years puts a lot on a purrson n hes a lot wiser than the 3-month-old game version (of course) and i learned that dating someone i had an expectation of is kind of creepy and weird and strange, but it made us both excitable so i dont really regret anything.

but its strange to do it, again, in a way thats healthy, that moves at its own pace, that we check in on and celebrate every month if we feel like it, but if not, thats fine too. i comfortably have a brofiance and a boyfriend that ive been dating traditionally. so used to my own history of moving in immediately and then things get explosive, and it was natural for us both to have our stressors with ourselves and each other; i remember dave talking to sam at their old job last summer and saying “im kind of excited for their first fight to break out” and continued slamming me for my unpredictable, explosive history. i feel like our relationship has weaved in and out of being unsure and being absolutely, positively, definitely sure we’re a good couple n that shouldnt change!! n that has felt... the most confident i have in years, regardless of the circumstances. there were rough patches when i was relapsing heavily and ze made solid boundaries, which were completely new, because dean loves unconditionally and will accept me no matter what i do and it was bizarre to get into a relationship with someone (that is new to astral projection n was a year old when i met em lmao) that would say “if ___ happens, then we are breaking it off.” and it absolutely whipped me into shape and sobered me up even if it took months, and a lot of crying and anxiety, and i lost my point but i guess i want to say its been a great year. with covid and... everything, losing friends and other loved ones, we have spent so much time together that i have learned from. ze teaches me to relax, to get excited about learning, to want to watch television and play games that i otherwise wouldnt give a fuck about. ze makes me excited to live n thrive, n i make zem excited to experience smells, tastes, sights, sensations, places, people, things, a whole new world ze wouldnt be able to otherwise. and to be able to... understand that is good, that im a good influence, that i have given someone amazing things, is still somewhat baffling.

i dont know how i feel, still, and im sure zes settled into a label fur the time being, but i enjoy the fact that this is my furst relationship that i didnt just say “well, i might as well,” but the other person did first. that ze took that leap fur me, n also taught me to appreciate that if we did break up, it wouldnt be the end of the world, and we would still be in each others lives, and probably just fine n maybe even happier NOT tryna nagivate a star-crossed loveresque relationship between two diffurent dimensions.

but we make it work, n thats still a bit unbelievable to me. i hate putting ppl on a pedestal n going thru the celebrity syndrome symptoms disease, but since ze doesnt recieve much friendly or positive attention in zir lives in general, i think it was a relief after the initial shock n fear was gone.

neway ze played games n hung out w yong yesterday n told all our friends abt zir pokemon n im so fuckin happy fur em the end