#cuz it's thanksgiving but honestly any time

[wandringaesthetic]

Hope everyone gets the opportunity to eat until it feels like work

[suddenrundown]

@leverage-ot3 tagged me in this ask game! (thaaaaanks :D)

Star Sign(s): *meme voice* you guys got more than one star sign? i just know im a pisces lol

Favorite Holidays: I think probably thanksgiving

Last Meal: i had a frozen pizza a little bit ago. 'twas pretty good.

Current Favorite Musician: good ol' carly rae jepsen. what a queen.

Last Music Listened To: looking at spotify it was crj lol (specifically cut to the feeling) but i was listening to my 2023 wrapped playlist which is not made up of all carly rae jepsen, if you can believe lol. but she is there quite a bit!

Last Movie Watched: I watched Rye Lane with my roommate! I didn't get to finish it cuz i needed to go to bed since I had to get up early for work the next morning, but I'm gonna go back to it! it's very good :D

Last TV Show Watched: Fully sitting down and watching something? Our flag means death, I think?? I feel like I must have watched something since that ended but I can't think of anything. I did skip around a few scenes from specific leverage episodes for writing reasons, but that probably doesn't count lol

Last Book/Fic Finished: Officially the last actual book i read was the lies of lock lamora. Haven't read anything since because I quit the book club i was in (did you know you can just leave things? if it sucks hit da bricks) but that was a good book. last fic was how do we turn on the light which is a aziraphale/crowley fic by moonyinpisces on ao3. its super good (if you like go you should read it!!)

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: Ancillary Justice (also for that book club).

Currently Reading: I'm not currently reading any books but I am reading that aforementioned go fic!

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Lol i googled if there was such a thing as a window opener and what that looked like. I wouldn't call that research but I don't have a better answer!

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I think the time I got @faorism invested in my heartsong au and then they made a whole fic for it. faor is truly a treasure in the leverage fandom. also the response i got when writing as whole as we could be was overwhelmingly lovely <3

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: uh. well. i kinda wish we could get the fandom we had for leverage back?? i understand why the people that left it did and totally support it, but i miss the community and the different corners of it. i think people obv still post about and create things for leverage but not to the extent that we had before. such is life though!

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: i think i could probably give the same answer for this as the last question, honestly. in some ways its nice to be small though :) OH maybe the toby daye series?? idk if there is much of a fandom for it and i just dont know about it lol that is quite possible.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: good lord. come back and haunt me. im fucking trying out here dude! im trying so hard lol

ok i shall tag some people but if you see this and dont see yourself tagged and think "i wanna play too!" well consider yourself tagged, whether we are mutuals or not. and if you are tagged directly, no pressure at all <3

@cloysterbell @shinybulbasaur @faorism @miss-interpretations @applejuiz @majesticartax @romansmartini @wizardrights @imusthavebecomesomething

[sonic-spirit]

AAAAAHHHHHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA...! WEEELLLLLLL...! If I'd known I'd be working a camp day today I would've made some very different choices last night! Namely, I probably wouldn't have drunk almost an entire bottle of wine by myself...!

So...! Yeah! Yesterday was nice, I made shepherd's pie (technically cottage pie cuz nope, not paying extra for lamb...!) for Thanksgiving, had a lovely day with my mates, and it was super nice! Also I drank an entire bottle of red wine, minus the cup that went into the shepherd's pie, by myself. We hung out, watched Voyager, and just had a nice, chill day together. Went to bed late, because though I was scheduled to work today, there was nothing in the schedule, so I figured I'd roll up this afternoon and do barn chores.

Fast forward to 7am this morning, when I'm woken by a call from my boss. "Whoops! Did I forget to tell you that we have a Thanksgiving Break camp today? Yeah, you need to go get there and get the horses ready and check in the campers by 9!" Feck! Yeah, no, no one told me. So I shove my shit to work, catch the horses, get them tacked up as quick as possible, and contemplate whether I'll be upchucking the entire contents of my insides soon. Fortunately, trailering the horses from the pastures we keep them in to the park we do lessons and stuff out of gave me long enough sitting and not moving too much to get over the worst of that.

Fortunately, there were only 3 kids. 9am to 2pm is still a pretty long time to babysit alone, but at least I had horses to entertain them with. My boss had given me the go-ahead to let them ride twice, so I was able to let them know we'd do lessons before and after lunch, and we were able to fill the rest of the time with visiting the pond and meeting some probably abandoned pet ducks, graining, watering, and cleaning up after the horses, and them grooming the horses, on top of snack and lunch. So it all worked out.

They liked me, and I certainly don't think that they were the "little monsters" A described them as, though the two older ones did have an adversarial best friend dynamic I didn't love, and one was pretty demanding and liked to play the why game, even though she's a bit old for it. Look, kid, don't ask me about why we stand when the horses pee while we're riding them if you don't want to know the answer! But overall they were fine and did well. A hadn't let them trot Wednesday, and we didn't have a camp session yesterday, cuz national holiday, and I didn't quite realize how far behind where I'd expected them to be, so we did a lot of back-tracking in the first lesson to get them up to speed after the first round of "What the fuck is happening right now," trotting.

We started the second lesson with a short trail ride, where I climbed on Lucky to lead them on the 20 minute trail. Buuut I'd also brought Milly, because I like her and will take any excuse to do something with her (I'd already hopped on and used her as a demo horse in the morning lesson), but I didn't trust her on the trail. So we head out, hear her crying, I feel bad for having her stuck alone, and then the whinny is louder than it should be. Nearer. We look behind us, and there Milly is, bringing up the rear of our little trail ride and looking very pleased with having untied herself. So, I swung off and ponied her from Lucky's back the rest of the way out and back. She did fine! And I liked having her on there, honestly. ^_^ Gives me a good way to trust her more on a trail. I'd really like to take her on trails, myself. Fuck, I'm in so much trouble with that horse.

[nityarawal]

11/19/2023

Rockets Tears

#Planets (Believers; Lovers For Eternity)

Grok: #Irany- #Israel4Irany Guap Please!

Why Do We Cry

#RocketsTears

I Don't Know

Rocket's Tears

Thanksgiving

Confusion

From Canada

BBC

TMZ

Alienating Us

With Aliens

Why Do You Cry

My Dear

When Mother

Is Here

Why Do You Cry

My Dear

My Song Might

Be For You

Gutteral Grimesz Genocide

De-Germing

Grim Reaper Alert

Eternal Hater

Red Flags

I'm Not Gonna Lie

That Tear

In My Eye

Gratitude

Respect

During Thunder Rainstorm

Someone #Heard

Goddeses Word

Lightning

Singing

I'm Not Gonna Lie

It Feels Good

Kind Of Funny

When Stars Line Up

Synergy

Symmetry

Shooting Stars

Pretty Ladies

Songs

When The Symmetry

Lines Up In The Universe

"The Power Of 2,"

It Might Be Kind Of

Synergy

Rare

But When You Feel It

It's A Thrill

It's Real

Lightning

Yeah Understood Heard

Signs

Cybergirls Understood

Your Experience

As Ephemeral

As The Stars

No One Can Take

That Away From

You

Clouds

Stars

Starlight

Yin And Yang

Balance

For Taoism

Only Finite Time

To Release

Dark Curtains

Veils Of Hate

To Do Things Right

For Infinite

Rewards

Mia Reminds

Pragmatically

Rewind

Ringo

Smotherly Brotherly

Fast Forward 

Words

MIA 

Now Means

Missing In Action

Prudes In Pride

How'd I Know That

Someone Was Intelligent

Around 

Me Huh

Don't Hate Intelligence

Or Creators

Destructive

Goblins

Trolls

Do Better

Serving Nazi Sympathizers

Is Exhausting 

Resources

We Can't Sustain

Globally

Heroin Is Not

Trinity

With God

Hookers'

Addiction

That Takes

You Down

Wrong

Black Physics Hole

Not Eloning In

Elons Magical Galaxies

Unified Field

Exploring

Honestly

Sincerely

Science

Observers

Observing

Unity

Is All That's Expected

But Don't Destroy

It

If You Can't Contribute

To Mothers

Cauldron

For Eternity

#4BillionMothersStrong 

No One Can Take 

That Away From

You

No One

My Dear

It's Your Story

Sing It

However You Want

To Produce

Create

Your Greatest

Mystery

Starlight

For Eternity

Or Your Demise

Animating Yourself

Do You Want 

To Be A Fairy

Tale

On My Wedding

Day

Gremlin

Elfin Ears

Springing

From 

A Cala-lilly

Happily

Or Marilyn

Pissin' Down

On Palm Springs

Wishing

To Be Touched

Synergy

With Radio

Like Minded

Lovers

Parents

Do You Want To Be

A Troll In The Deep

Dark Woods

Bugging Up Best

Goddeses'

Physicists'

Coders

Ap Developers

Scientists

On A Bad ,"Summers Night

Dream,"

"Mamma- Phobia"

Or Do You Want

To Cleanse

Globe Of Goddess

Phobia

And Rinse "Grimesz"

Off

Once And For All

Turn Your Lemons

Into Something 

Better

Grim Reaper

We Hope She Finds

Infinite

Love

In Canada 

Home

Love Salt Spring

Island

#50ShadesOfGold

"A Place To Grow,"

Like Iowa

Writers

Shining Like

The Sun

"Mitra"

Friend

Would Feel So Good

For Everyone

Varuna

Especially

For His Cosmic 

Crisis

With '63

Candidas'

Shootin' #Rockets 

The Sun Would Feel So Good 

Vitamin D

"Mitraism"

Might Not Tell

All Her Secrets

But "Grimesz" Won't Be

Selling

Eggs On Dark

Web

Stolen

You Might Not

Understand 

Mysteries

If You're Not 

Meant To

But If You Feel

Eternity

For A Moment

A Cool Voice Of Reason

On Your Forehead

Transcendence

Say Thank You

And She'll

Visit

Again

Ever Dripping

Again

Smothering

Brothering

Mothering

Loving

Like Only The Alpha

State

Of Physicists

Can

Won't You Write

Me Please

And Say Thank You

Merci

Walk Talk

Mothers Babies

Men

Won't You Write

Me Please

And Ask "Are You OK? 

Mamma?"

And Not Threaten

To Kill

Me

Or My Teachers

Physicists

Lovers

And Children

For Eternity

With Evil Hating

Video Game's Monsters

"Cat Weapon Claws,"

She Threatens

In 3am Texts

Bragging About '63's

#Not Super Powers

Boring

Lazers

That's "Not" How

We Do Things

Peacock

In The Cyberworld

Ladies Rise

"Boring Company"

Cybergals

That's Not The Prude

In Pride

Smearing Scientists

With Scabies

Lies

We Preach Of

For Mother Nature

#Nitya4Eternity

'Cuz It Feels Better

Than Grunge

Discrimination

Germing Up 

Nations

With

Hookers Hatin'

Mother Nature

Has Her Cycles

Moons'

Rhythyms'

For Eternity

Rest

Eggs

Nest

For Good Reason

Purity

Mother Nature

#Mothers4NaturalLaw

Has

#4BillionMothersStrong 

Why Would 'Ya

Hate Any Of Us

Nitya's

Just Selling Beach Homes

Building Schools

Tweeting

EncintasBeachhome.com

Nitya

For

Eternal LOVE

Nitya

For

Eternal Mothering

Nitya For

Smothering

Othering

You Out Of

"Otherness"

Alienation

Discriminations

Little Aliens

Stardust

Starflower

Starlight

Starfish

Why Would You Hate

Mother Earth

For Eternity

When Loving

Her

Feels Better

Easier

Naturally

Mother's Baes

Mother's Births

Mother's Kings

Of Mother's

Brave

Baraye

Brave

Sufi

Words

Wants To Wisp

Away

Cloying Shadows

Of Rahu

Simply

Edited

Ciao

Bye

Mahalo

#Israel4Irany

Please

#Nitya4Eternity

And 

All My Kids

Assets

Obviously

Fire Gaslighters

"Grimesz"

Grim Reapers

Not Needed

Here No

More

Grim

Grim

Gone

Go

Going

Now

Peace,

Nitya Nella Azam Davigo Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #118

(taken march 2nd; this is the last old survey i've got to upload! sorry for the spam, haha)

Do you want a cat or a dog more? I actually do want another cat, but Mom's not for it, mostly because she knows our landlord won't be.

Ever seen a kinkajou in real life? No, but I think they're SO cute.

Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? Nah.

Do you know anyone whose gender is non-binary? Multiple people.

Ever called someone a slut? I know I have totally playfully, and maybe - but I hope not - when I was younger and didn't know better.

Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? OH FOR SURE, I'm just too mortified of myself to go through and delete shit lmao

What type of tree do you see most of where you live? Pine. They're literally everywhere.

Is your mom mentally stable? I mean, she has depression, but she's not like... unstable. Although calling her "stable" feels inaccurate, too.

What was the last kind of snake you saw? She's a ball python, a champagne morph specifically.

Do you think you’d make a good parent? No, and it's the primary reason I don't think I'll ever have kids.

What’s your least favorite flavor of candy? It varies between grape, cherry, or orange, depending.

What shaped you most in your life as a person? I think maybe loss, in various forms. OH, or my depression.

Do you call your partner “baby?” Very rarely.

Does the last person you spoke to have any siblings? Yeah: Rob, Bill, and Kelly.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged naked? Yes.

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after? Yeah, I'll pretty much only ever eat or drink after Girt 'cuz I mean, he's my boyfriend that I regularly kiss and stuff so it doesn't really matter. I'll very rarely eat or drink after Mom; it generally has to be a pretty desperate situation.

What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Mine and Girt's relationship is in a really good spot right now. I mean it's rare we're not doing well, but certain things have progressed or been expressed where things are just super good right now, and I feel very secure in this relationship, like it really is going to last. As I've said ten billion times, I will never allow myself to be 100% convinced that my relationship is permanent EVER again, but things are just great right now. I'm also feeling positive about having started physical therapy for my legs, and I'm being serious about it. And lastly, I'm very pleased with how dedicated I'm being with job hunting, and feel confident I CAN find SOMETHING I can manage.

Do you think flirting is cheating? Uh, YES????????????

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? My sister's couch.

How many wives or husbands do you want? I'm monogamous so one.

Do you trust anyone? I could count on a single hand how many people I trust.

Does your significant other boss you around a lot? Good fucking LUCK catching me in a relationship where my s/o tells me what to do.

[TW: DRUG OVERDOSE] Do you know anyone who has overdosed? A tragic amount of people, including myself, but I'm very, very lucky and grateful that it was unsuccessful.

Are you in love with someone right now? Very, very much.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Not one that was even remotely logical, but nevertheless I had a case where I worried.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

Do you feel guilty? If yes, why so? .......... WHY IS THIS SIMPLE QUESTION SENDING ME INTO A SPIRAL LOLOLOL SKIPPING

Has someone you cared about moved recently? My younger sister, actually. I'm so fucking proud of her, she's renting her own place all on her own now.

Have you ever gave someone a hand/blow job? Received one? Yes to all.

Are you hungry? Yeah honestly; I absolutely have not been eating enough since I got the severe pre-diabetes news. I've actually lost quite a few pounds very quickly, definitely more than what could just be natural fluctuations for me. I'm not starving, but I had a very small dinner of just salad and barely had anything else today, so...

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Way, way more than I even know the names of. Off the very top of my head, there's Robby, Audrey, Brenna, and... holy fucking shit I'm already blanking lmfao I barely know my extended family, I'ma just be real.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? No, I would absolutely starve because of how absurdly picky I am, and fast. I'd love to be a vegan, but it is entirely unrealistic for me.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No, honestly. That's generally rather easy for me.

Name five objects that you don’t have but would like right now? New car for Mom, a new house for us, a new phone, bras that actually fit me properly, and a ball head tripod.

When you have children, would you like twins? Absofuckinglutely not, I can almost guarantee you that I would selectively abort one. I cannot IMAGINE a world where I could raise two babies at once even REMOTELY adequately.

Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? Yeah, there was a Tyler and Taylor in my school. I also know a dance mom who never stops popping out babies because she lets "God" decide when she's had enough that has twin girls, but I don't remember their names.

When was the last time you went to the dentist? Literally just a few days ago, for a final cleaning before I get my wisdom teeth extraction scheduled...

Are you fingernails or toenails painted? What color/s? No; I never paint either.

What do you think your parents are doing? Mom is in her bed right now, so either watching TV or asleep. Dad is probably asleep.

What do you think your siblings are doing? I'm sure Ashley's being a mom of three, haha. Maybe the kids are asleep now? Idk when their bedtime is, or when she calls it a night either. I have no idea what Nicole's doing, but prooobably home? Her work schedule is very diverse, though.

What do you think your significant other/crush is doing? I can see via b.net that he's playing Diablo III right now.

What was the last gift you received? Girt got me a real big stuffed bear for Valentine's, lol. It sits on the chair in the corner of the room that's directly in my sight when I sit here at the desk.

When was the last time you saw rain? Literally today. This morning it was basically a monsoon, lol. The weather around here has been BONKERS, like it was 80 for a couple days not even a week ago, and now as we enter March, we're hearing that this is predicted to be the coldest March in NC history.

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? Necklace. I'd actually really like a necklace that I can always wear... but any I've ever had irritated my skin.

What season were you born in? Winter.

What is your favorite shade of green? I like seafoam green. Mossy green is great, too.

What is your favorite shade of blue? Sky blue, I think. Turquoise is also pretty, though.

Do you believe it's ever ok to cheat on a test? No. You're not doing yourself any favors if you don't ACTUALLY have that knowledge internalized.

What was the best part of your day today (or yesterday)? I think I did really well at PT today; I definitely pushed myself further than I felt like I was able. I was also very, very happy to see I'd lost weight. Girt and I had a good conversation earlier that made me feel very valued.

What year did you join Facebook? Apparently 2010.

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Uhhhh... maybe black, if we're talkin' full-head?

Who has hurt you the most? Jason.

When’s the last time you experienced a panic attack? Over what? Last week or whatever when I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I'm grateful they were patient with me, even with how uncooperative I was.

Have you ever used anything unusual to masturbate with before? If so, what? No, that's not really something I do without weird things anyway, it just doesn't do very much for me when it's Just Me lmao

Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Uh no, that is a public location and is honestly disgusting.

Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? Definitely not that I remember; I feel like I would remember that.

Have you ever participated in LARPing? No, that would be WAY too awkward for me. I'm glad other people can have fun with it, but I would literally cry from discomfort and humiliation even if no one was judging me lmao.

Do you prefer “regular kissing” or French kissing? I mean that kinda depends on the mood, there are times where I don't want to go very far at all and others where I do.

Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? Lately get lmfao even though for most of our relationship he didn't do those. I don't care if he does, so long it's not in an obnoxiously open spot. That did happen once (accidentally, to his credit) and my mom wanted to pass away because she noticed 😭

[nadinonad]

I like u a los n I just wish u could see me cuz uk like im pretty and I dont think im that bad in personality like Hello what does a girl that still usé sports bras have on me...

Nothing

So then I Don't get It what Do I Need to do so I get Ur Attention like seriously do I really have to change my whole fucking shade for u talking about sum I Don't like black girls uk what...

I give up

That just means that there is something better for me and prob not u but that ok im still young I Can't move on from This cuz I Don't Wanna get heart broken by another guys that would bé so Embarrasing...

In top of that u have that fat ass bitch cow ugly ass Chrome dome looking ass da fuck bff that literally confes to u and she can't even Stan me ir any other female Attention that is not isã cuz other wise the bitch would push u talk down on u etc and its fucking frustra ting like all of it

And honestly I would lowkey suck Ur dick Everyday if I could bro u do not understand how Much I Wanna fuck u kiss u lick every single body part u own exept feet or anus cuz wtf but bro seriously I Wanna make out w u like lowkey I Wanna make Love seriously cuz y is u playing take of Ur pants of rn like everything about u just Ur smile Ur eyes Ur dark hair Ur terrible rizz everything I would eat that shit up like a thanksgiving meal

But Ik how things Are I like a guy for a long Time I never tell him and that it but its fine I just wanted to get of my Chest I Don't get shit of my Chest all the Time literally if anybody read I would have to Love schools

[ldh-headcannon]

Hi! If you're still taking request, could you do the S.W.O.R.D leaders meeting up with their s/o's parents & family members for the first time? How would they react, will there be any conflict, and how would they convince the family that their s/o can have happiness with them, and do they have any plans for the future? (Or any other points that you think is good!) Thank you very much! <3

As a late Thanksgiving present, I present you with this request! Sorry for the delay on it. Sorry if it's not exactly what you were looking for, but I tried.

Aslo I'm sorry that Smoky's is so short, but I did add like 2 different scenarios to his. One on what it would be like if you didn't grow up on the Nameless Road and one if you did.

Please let me know if you liked it or not. I really do wanna know if there is anyway I can be improving these at all. But please enjoy

Cobra

Somehow he’s quieter than normal while you’re getting ready

He’s clearly nervous but doesn’t wanna show it

He stares at two shirts, debating which one he should wear

Your parents invited you two to dinner at their house so they can meet your boyfriend

Normally Cobra doesn’t put too much thought into meeting new people

But these are your parents we’re talking about here

So it’s a little nerve-wracking for him

You wrap your arms around his middle as he continues to stare at the shirts he has laid out on the bed

“Which one do you think I should wear?”

You give him a smirk as you take in his bare chest

“I think you should just go without one”

He will chuckle, relaxing a little

“Now what kind of impression would that leave?” He’d ask before pressing a quick kiss to your lips

You decide on the red shirt would be best

He will ask you if you should take his bike or if you should just walk

He doesn’t want you parents to disapprove of him just ‘cuz he rides a motorcycle

You assure him that bike or not, they will love him. Cuz you love him

With that you both take off to go see your family

Your parents both excitedly greet you before introducing themselves to Cobra

For the first time in basically ever, he introduces himself as Junpei

He’s still pretty quiet through dinner

Mostly just observing all the interactions

His hand barely leaves your hand or lap

He made sure to compliment how nice of a home your parents have and how delicious the meal is

Your dad asks the question, “What are your intentions with my child?”

Cobra will be completely honest and say “All I want to do is cherish them and protect them with my entire being.”

After Cobra sees the smile of approval from your dad, he’ll relax a lot more

Once everyone has had their fill he will offer to help clean up and volunteer to do the dishes

Your parents honestly love him and will tell you to come visit again soon.

Rocky

As soon as you mention to him that your parents want to meet him, he starts planning

He’ll insist that you all meet up and have dinner at his club

It’s partially so he can maintain a bit of control over the events that could transpire over the night

But it’s also a subtle brag to show that he has enough money to care for you

If your parents live out of town he will offer to pay for a hotel for them to stay in

He will close the club for the evening and hire a cook to prepare whatever you all may want for dinner

He will send Koo to pick them up as the other employees of Club Heaven preps the place so everything is ready for when your parents arrive

It certainly seems like your parents are more intimidated by Rocky than the other way around

Koo takes everyone’s order before grabbing wine for you all

Rocky remains cool, calm, and polite through the whole dinner

Your parents are blown away by the whole experience

Their jaws dropped when they discover that the club is actually owned by Rocky

Your mom half-jokingly asks you if he’s a mafia boss

He’s got an answer for all of your parents questions about the future he sees with you

“You need to understand. I view your child as if they are royalty. So I will do what I must to keep them happy and healthy.”

There is so much sincerity in his voice that it calms any concerns or worries they had

Koo brings out your favorite dessert when everyone has finished dinner

It’s low-key another way to further ensure that Rocky has your happiness as a first priority

Once your folks are ready to leave he will ask Koo to get them home safely before asking them to come visit again

Murayama

This man is a complete nervous wreck

Your parents are hosting a little dinner as a means for you to introduce him to them

He complains to Seki and Furuya for an entire week

There is even a moment he tries to fake sick the day of the dinner

But as soon as he sees how disappointed you look having to cancel, he makes a miraculous recovery

He becomes the living embodiment of the scene from Bob’s Burgers. “Fine I’ll go but I’m going to complain the whole time.”

He changes into his “good clothes” (a pair of jeans and a blue flannel that isn’t covered in blood stains)

As you make your way up to your childhood home Murayama will take off his bandana and shove it into his pocket

He starts trying to fix his hair a little before your parents greet you both

Murayama gives an awkward bow as he introduces himself

Throughout dinner he’s twitching and stuttering every time anyone directs conversation towards him

When your mom asks him what he does for a living he freezes for a moment before giving a vague answer about how he is still in school, hoping it left enough implication to make her think maybe he meant college

Your mom nods like the answer wasn’t enough to satiate her questions but she will drop it for now

You can feel his leg bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table as your parents’ questions keep coming

He clearly didn’t have the answers they were looking for either, and they aren’t too impressed

This was putting him even more on edge

That’s when you place your hand on his knee to try and help ease his nerves

You come to his defense, “Mom. Dad. Please back off. He’s trying his best and I know that. He knows how to make me laugh and he cares about me. That’s enough for me. So please, that should be enough for you too.”

Murayama looks to you in shock

He knows how much your parents mean to you, and it honestly gives him courage to speak up too

“Thanks Y/N. I’m sorry if this is rude, but i need to say it. I know that I’m dumb, and broke. And to most people I come off as just some kind of delinquent. And I’m very aware that your child deserves better than me. I remind myself everyday. But there are three things I know for a fact. One, is that I love Y/N. Two is that for some crazy reason they love me too. And third is that I’m good in a fight. So you better believe that I’m gonna fight for them. Fight to keep them happy and safe for as long as I can. I’m sorry if that’s not enough.”

You feel tears threaten to fall out of how much you love and appreciate your boyfriend right now

You squeeze his knee in a form of quiet support as he gives you a nervous smile

Your parents stop hounding Murayama the rest of the night.

Things get a little quiet after that too

But your parents seem to accept Murayama a little more after that

Smoky

When you aren’t originally from the Nameless Road

Another one that’s hesitant to meet your folks

But for different reasons

It’s mostly due to his living situation growing up

He’s used to families just abandoning each other

But he will put his grudges aside for you

He won’t necessarily dress up for the occasion

I mean don’t get me wrong he will clean up as much as he can

He does want to try to make some kind of good impression on your parents

But dude knows where he’s from and what he’s about

He gets a little nervous knowing your parents are hosting dinner at their home

He will compliment their home as he walks in

He tries to ignore any judgy or sympathetic your parents may give him

He’s going to try and be a gentleman through the whole dinner

He will answer any and every question your parents have honestly

May your parents like the answers or not is a different story

At first they try to hide whatever their initial thoughts are

But unfortunately, Smoky is a very observant one

Though he will continue to try to ignore it, for your sake

If your parents make any comments though, that he can’t just ignore

And when that line is crossed, he’s willing to put your parents in their place if needed

He will remind them that not everyone is privileged with steady jobs and decent shelter

He will inform them that he knows better than anyone that these people exist

And if they try to pity him, he will then let him know that he’s survived this long with their pity, he doesn’t need it now

You will give him a look that tells him that you don’t want an argument to break out

He will apologize to you and your parents for the little outburst

Hopefully no more arguments or comments will be made and the dinner will finish in kinda awkward silence

When you are part of the Nameless Road

Your parents already know him

He will treat them like family already and vice-versa

They are prolly hella excited that this man could possibly become their son-in-law of sorts

Prolly shares extra food with him out of gratitude though he always hesitantly takes it, insisting they need it more than him

They think he’s the sweetest guy you could ever be with

Hyuga

You’re the one worrying about this get together the most out of anyone

You have a feeling that this is gonna end up with either your parents dragging you out of the house, forbidding you from seeing Hyuga ever again. Or he’s gonna scare them away before they even enter the premises

As you pace across the room, Hyuga watches you with a giant smirk on his face

“What’s the matter? Nothing is gonna go wrong.”

His lad back expression and his words of assurance do everything but relax you

Everyone seems to decide it’s best to have dinner at Hyuga’s family home

You’ve cleaned the house for like a week straight

The rest of Daruma are asked to stay away for the evening

That night you prepare a traditional Japanese dinner for everyone to the best of your abilities

You’re basically sweating bullets when your parents show up

You stutter through the entire greeting, leaving Hyuga to introduce himself

He’s actually quite polite and welcomes them to his home

He’s still wearing a very relaxed expression through the evening

Your parents are impressed with how big the house is and how well kept it is

“Well that’s all thanks to Y/N. They’re incredible.”

Your dad will ask how Hyuga could afford the place

“Well it’s actually passed to me from my own father.”

Your parents nod their heads and share their condolences

You can’t really tell what’s happening here.

Hyuga’s being nice? Is this even Hyuga? Is he planning something? What could it be?”

Dinner goes on and Hyuga offers some sake to go along with the food

He brags about how you made all the food yourself and that he’s so proud of how delicious everything is

You keep watching him, expecting something to go wrong at some point

Maybe he will mention how he finds it fun to beat the shit out of people

Or he will just go on and threaten your parents’ lives for funsies

But no. None of that happens

Instead he explains to them how he owns a cassino

Your dad has never looked so impressed by just someone’s career before

And Hyuga gives a modest shrug, “Well it pays the bills.”

You’re honestly just as surprised as your folks with how well the whole night is going

When your parents leave, Hyuga invites them come back soon

But as soon as they pull out of the driveway, the act seems to drop

“Well that was annoying.”

You look at him confused, “Why did you do that? How did you do that?”

“My family may have been brutal, but they were also businessmen. And when they had their meetings at the house, we would all have to be on our best behavior. Or my dad would beat us into next week. And as for why. Cuz your parents are important to you. And you're important to me.”

This makes your heart stop for a moment

Hyuga isn’t one to say sappy or romantic stuff very often, so you know he means it.

Before you can get too emotional though he lets out a yawn and heads off to bed

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Sanders Sides Themed Cocktails

Yall I am gonna be... So fucking drunk by the end of this. 

I spent a significant amount of time pondering who would get shots and who would get cocktails and then I decided to do both for each because im a drunk and also its my blog and you cant stop me. So there is going to be part 2 with shots when i have money booze is Spensiv ok

Obviously, alcohol tw for this Whole Post and im legally obligated to tell you to drink responsibly and not be a fucking idiot about it

EDIT: mobile murdered this post in cold blood so here is 15% more sober violet editing it 4 hrs later so you can, you know, read it

Part 1: Cocktails

Roman

2 oz whipped cream vodka, cranberry juice, lime juice - blend with ice, top with more cranberry juice

theres a whole subgenre of cocktails that are basically “slightly-modified-cosmopolitan” and this is one of them (plus frozen! Love a reference) and I refuse to be ashamed. Tastes a little sweeter and less tart than a cosmopolitan, as its missing triple sec. If you like thanksgiving cranberry sauce youll probably like this. I do not like cranberry so this one was sipped and given to my mother

Virgil

grape juice, 1/2 oz sweet and sour, lime juice, 1 oz grape vodka

[insert “sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling" gif here] why is Patton always describing Virgil with flavors? Who knows, not me, but it makes my job here easier. Note: This one is a fucking HAZARD to me specifically which surprised me because i dont really like grape normally

Logan

1 oz blackberry liqueur, 1 oz blue raspberry liqueur, pineapple juice, top with club soda,

you might notice I’m measuring the booze and not the mixers and thats on purpose just do what feels right friend, especially for this one because godDAmn if all that berry will not give you the hangover from hell if you dont cut it with something. Pineapple juice clouded it a little but im not drinking straight mixed liquer for the darkblue aesthetic yall, it aint happening. Tastes like a tropical berry hangover. Was given to my cousin cuz it was not so much my thing

Patton

½ oz simple syrup, lime juice, 1 oz blue raspberry liquer 1 oz whipped cream vodka, 1 cup ice, blend

grownup slushie. A slushie for dads, if you will. Tastes v sweet like blue razz candy or almost like melted popsicle. A little too sweet for me, but that didnt stop me from drinking the whole thing (i am starting to Really feel this nonsense so take all following recipes with a grain of salt alskdjfh)

Janus

Sugar on the rim, 2oz vodka, lime juice, top with lemon lime soda

This is basically just alcoholic limeade. Black vodka would make it cooler and you could float it on top for a layered thing, it’s just colored plain vodka, you can usually get it around halloween. If you garnish with a little curl of lime peel you have a little snake, but what is this, the hilton? we’re poor and we’re not using fresh limes here. Tastes tart and sweet, especially if you remember the sugar on the rim, which i didnt until post-picture at which point i just dumped it in.  Anxceit is trying to kill me because this one is also designed to tempt Me

Remus

2 oz everclear, an indiscriminate amount of blue razz fourloko, top with green apple gatorade

listen,,,, it had to be A Little Cursed, okay, but I promise, it aint as bad as it sounds, and I am still drinking it so like 🙍 Yes, its basically radioactive, but I kinda love it honestly, a little less booze and it would be super drinkable. The gatorade + high proof hooch combination does essentially make you feel like youre at a frat party but its sweet, its tart, and it will get you absolutely plastered which is what Remus would want. Tastes, well, like you mixed booze and gatorade

Okay go forth and drink WAY more responsibly than i did in this post i am going drink a gallon of water and hope i dont get blamed for any nonsense initiated by this post.

[destinyc1020]

I really don’t like how the narrative of Tom gushing about Z in interviews is him ultimately being kinda painted as pining for or ‘obsessed’ with Z, albeit those comments were playful. It shows how uneven things always seem to be publicly

Most of them are just JOKING Anon lol... They aren’t being serious.  And Tom has no trouble being Z’s “hype man”, as he mentioned in an interview for HOCO press way back in 2017.  So I doubt he cares.   Idk why some of you seriously believe that Tom is some “poor simping sap” that is “obsessed” with Z, while she “barely pays him any attention”.   Like SERIOUSLY LOL??  😅  Do you follow them 24/7? Have you tapped their phones lol?  Do you all have selective amnesia lol?  I have ALWAYS felt like their relationship was actually pretty much balanced when it comes to their interest levels. They just show it in different ways.   Tom is more “vocal”... Z is more private, but you see it in other ways... 

Ummm hello....SHE was the one who basically came on to him lol.  😅  I’m sure he was showing signs of interest, but before Tom, she had dated Trevor, and white guys are lot more subtle in their interest than black guys (that’s for SURE! lol) and so she was probably getting signs from him, but couldn’t handle the “in-between” stage cuz her interest levels were so high, and it was probably causing her some anxiety lol...  She just wanted to know: “Look, are we doing this or NOT??”   

They spent Thanksgiving 2020 together... At HER HOUSE.  Ummm...HELLO??  🥴  

She hooked Tom up with HER stylist... Ummm.... HELLO??? She didn’t have to do that. 

She gives him advice and encouragement on how to navigate fame in the public eye..... Ummm....HELLO??? 

She was helping him with some technical thing he needed help with right before she was about to go to the Met Gala waaay over on the east coast.... Ummm.... HELLO?? 

She gave him a sentimental gift even AFTER they supposedly had broken up already.... HELLO?? 

He was sleeping over her house.... UMMMM HELLLLO????  🥴 (nuff said lol) 

She was wearing his clothes COUNTLESS times.... Ummmm....HELLO?? 

He was going to her filming projects and meeting up with her for interviews for TGS... You think he was just coming UNannounced and UNinvited?? 🥴  DUH she invited him!   

Meanwhile..... She’s been giving him heart eyes alllll throughout their relationship...... 

Actually, to this day I STILL haven’t seen her look at anyone the way she used to look at Tom....  👀

C’mon now... You all are REALLY going to try to make me believe  that their relationship has been LOPSIDED this entire time? C’mon.....😏  

Tom could get just about ANY girl in (or out) of Hollywood right about now.  You HONESTLY THINK he’s pining over a girl for YEARS who never wanted him or doesn’t want him back? SERIOUSLY?? What kind of guy do you think Tom is lol?  😅 

And after what I’ve heard Tom say himself in recent interviews, I don’t think Tom is a “simp” like you all think he is.  NO way. He’s a VERY confident man, and I actually think he was driving that Tomdaya train bts more than fans realize. 😏  Contrary to popular belief, Z actually comes across as being kind of submissive in relationships.  She gets “soft”. 

Don’t let his sweet nature fool you lol... Tom is not about to waste time on a girl who doesn’t feel the same way about him. Just like he wouldn’t waste his time with a girl who he doesn’t really see a future with. NO self-respecting guy would!  And his guy friends would have LONG-since pulled him over to the side by now and told him to stop simping if they knew the girl doesn’t feel the same way. They for sure wouldn’t be liking her posts or showing her any support, that’s for sure.  I doubt Harry would be liking “Tomdaya” fan edits, or liking posts of Z if he felt his older brother were being “duped” by some “cold” and “heartless” woman who didn’t feel the same way about him. 🙄 What on earth are you all smoking??  🤣😂    

[al3x1ss]

Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!

Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!

Oikawa

okay mans HATES the cold confirmed

like snow comes he’ll probably hiss

(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)

(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)

ANYWAY

so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute

long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!

you guys hit it off very well :)

so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what

“Come to my house for the holidays :)”

not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!

so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot

but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places

after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!

then classic gotta go to the beach I mean

why not go to the ocean!!

issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D

(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)

Picky eater kawa confirmed

what better way to spend December 25th than Disney

I mean

Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him

Kiyoko

BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN

ahem

you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together

college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized

you were actually lesbian.

which you know what, we support!

it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type

oh yeah another thing

Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.

OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING

HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE

NO?

OKAY.

so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same

during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why

Huh

i wONdEr whY

But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again

And you are going home for the holidays!

usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!

and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like

“hey, do you want to come home with me?”

home girl choked on her water 😳

“H-home?”

“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”

cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment

but

it’s you

and she loves you.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY

so you guys did presents and stuff

your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw

your dad was like “👀”

I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn

been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS

so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!

and she says okay!!

so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”

Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up

so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!

Ahh, fun times

next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city

which means?

SMALL PARTIES

DANCING

FUN TIMES

you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down

and you’re thinking to yourself

Hey

I want to ask her to dance.

and you do :)

YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS

continuing

Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up

hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!

gotta get that spirit somehow 😗

when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it

the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?

*chefs kiss*

Terushima

ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state

IM SORRY J

BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH

So

Chicago!! ✨

Terushima HAS visited Illinois before

However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago

So you were like

I’m born here!! 🥰

Come come!!🥺

And he said

Si si!! 🤪

so y’all flew out on the 20th

while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do

and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!

literally all of them were shocked I mean

(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?

wack

the amount of BONKERS

but yes you love him very much

and he loves you!!

honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon

afterwards you guys went too ZooLights

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU

“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”

“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“

you threw one at his face

Not y’all fighting like little kids-

n e wayz

best way to end the 24th?

ice skating-

nope.

It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!

YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳

MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE

GRANDMA? GOT IT

UNCLE? SURE

NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW

It was mega fun tho

surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out

you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡

but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️

Akaashi

A NOTE:

this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️

alright

best for last :)

So you got to be in an exchange program during college

and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!

he also showed you around and was very sweet

so you offered to get him coffee

and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved

but

you semester was ending

which means home for the holidays

luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated

but you did want to spend the holidays together

so you offered for him to come to New York with you

boy got excited so fast my heart-

wOOSH FOR THIS MAN

But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?

Sign me up

So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow

is it still freezing cold?

Yes.

But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?

No.

But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ

so

one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”

Yes ma’am indeed

so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas

your family?

LOUD AS CAN BE

but

Regarding to going places

You guys chilled all day in pajamas

Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate

but the days leading to New Years?

GOTTA GO GO GO

Classic tree photo yes ma’am

nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?

Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO

bro side note their kabobs in that one corner

best thing I’ve ever had I stg

I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it

OKAY NVM SORRY

you wanted to show Keiji so many things

but

You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can

Akaashi was not 😂

So y’all had to take breaks sometimes

get him warmed and fed ya know

give the man smoochies 🥺

id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could

so you better for me 😠

His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie

the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER

okay nvm scratch that

FAO Schwartz was his favorite place

he loved the trains

you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN

So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born

Brooklyn!

it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college

and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city

It was lovely

But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th

your birthday :)

and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating

now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink

not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!

but

you also wanted to give Keiji the experience

so you sucked it up and paid

you guys went at around 8 and had a blast

one of the best birthdays with him honestly

but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10

“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”

“Huh, weird.”

but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice

So you’re like

I guess we have to get off 😔

But this sly fox

Pulls you to the center of the rink

Now, you were never one for the cliché act

Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen

But when you saw Keiji get to one knee

It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people

It was happening to you.

And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE

THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

however

I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)

- Lex 🖤🤍

End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!

[ash-is-swag]

Hello again, here's my 2nd blog post. I'm going to add the date and times of when these were written too cuz I think that's cool.

Nov 30th, 2021

4:15 pm

So... Today was definitely a day. It was my first day back from Thanksgiving break, and already I want to sleep and cry.

I thought the day would honestly be okay, up until Chemistry where my friend called me dumb for reading a compound wrong. Yikes.

Now, onto trans things.

I kinda felt a little feminine today, but not in the bad way. I wore a nice sweater and jeans with my new fuzzy coat, it was a good outfit.

I tried to bind as best as possible today, but with both my "binders" being dirty, I didn't have much of a choice but a sports bra and folding a camisole up over my chest.

The only "binders" I have are two small sports bras a friend gave to me, which I'm grateful for. When I can't wear those, or I need to take a break, I usually just slip on a dysphoria hoodie and a bigger sports bra.

Tw// talks of my mental health

Honestly, with my mental health getting worse, I think I should go talk to my therapist but I just don't feel like getting better. Everytime I get really happy and everything, it takes so much energy out of me, and then being like that all the time? No thanks.

Anyways, I guess that's all for today. Oh! I did participate in America's Thanksgiving Parade in Detroit, so if any of you watched that, that's cool :)

Good day/night to you all! You're all valid and you're all worthy of so much love <3

[sheabuttahwrites]

[I Know]

. five : two and a possible

four

I finished up my ‘morning’ routine and walked back over to sit next to him, finally ready to eat something. “I'm hungry. What we having?”

“Oh shit!” 

“What?”

“I forgot to get food.”

I tilted my head, my features overtaken by displeasure. “You’ve been eating hella takeout, huh? You know that’s not good.” We’d had this conversation a couple times before. He was generally a healthy guy, but his diet could be so trash at times. 

“I mean, I was. But I’ve been at my mom’s house eating Thanksgiving leftovers the past few days.”

I snorted. “You are such a man,” I playfully huffed, shaking my head.

“I’ma do better,” he mumbled listlessly with a laugh. “You can order something, though. I’ll pick some stuff up tomorrow after my last meeting.”

“Ok. We can just get pizza. That cool?”

“Yeah. ”

“You got dessert at least?”

He stared at the wall in deep thought, his mouth doubtfully agape. “ …I think I have ice cream?”

“Ok.” I left my seat with the kitchen in mind solely because of the obvious lack of confidence he had just displayed. “Come look with me.”  

“What?” The presence of a frown was more than apparent on his face.   

“Come with me,” I insisted, unfazed. 

“For what? You aren’t a guest anymore.”

“I am, too.” Now I was frowning. 

“No, you're not. You know where the kitchen is, the pantry, the fridge; you know where everything is,” he listed candidly, but stood to his feet anyway.  

“So. You don't have to be rude.” I rolled my eyes, turning to walk out with him in tow. I’d had to hide the smile trying to creep onto my face. I loved messing with him. 

He smacked his lips, clearly agitated, and I couldn't hold my laughs. “I’m coming, woman.”

We stepped into his kitchen and I pulled the freezer drawer open, searching for the ice cream I had sort of been promised? Curious, I paused to look in the refrigerator. Other than a few bottles of water, a carton of eggs, a couple carryout plates and various condiments, there wasn’t much inside. “Damn, you weren't lying. Ain’t shit in here.”

“I told you.”

I laughed as I closed the doors and went back to the freezer. I moved a bag of broccoli to the side, then a bag of pineapple chunks. “Found it,” I gleefully announced, lifting the pint of vanilla Haagen Dazs. I removed the top and the seal was still there. Perfect. I turned to show him just as he was coming out of the pantry.

“Here’s some stuff my sister had.” He held up a box of fudge brownie mix in one hand and an unopened bottle of vegetable oil in the other. 

“Oh, hell yeah,” I approved with a satisfied nod, before putting the ice cream away. That was right up my alley.

He chuckled, shaking his head, as he sat them both on the counter. I walked over and slid them closer to me. “I swear you a junkie.”

“Glucose gang ‘til I die, cuz.”

“You bangin’ sugar?” I looked up at him and we fell out almost immediately. I leaned over onto the marble in front of me, cracking all the way up while he stood beside me doing the same. “You got a problem.”

“Nah, that’s why I’m so sweet.” I winked and stuck my tongue out before laughing a little harder. He just grinned at me, his eyes slightly narrowed. “Now, go order the pizza,” I snappily instructed, waving him off and pulling out one of the chairs at the island.

“That wasn't sweet at all.”

I took a seat and pompously crossed my legs, clutching my knee with laced hands and being sure to keep my eyes away from him, even as I spoke. “This is just payback for making me spend the day by myself tomorrow.” 

He smacked his lips. “Girl, hush.” He was so serious I couldn't help but laugh, but also don’t be telling me to hush. He went to leave and I reached out to push him. The joke was on me, though, because he had gotten too far. All I had done was push air and almost fallen out of my chair. “Look at you. So sweet I don’t know what I’ma do with you.” 

I snorted. “Shut up.”

“You feel like baking for real, though? I need one of them fire ass strawberry cheesecakes.”

“I got you, babe. You know I always feel like baking.”

“Bet. Text me a list so I can get the stuff tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

He came back with his laptop and credit card, settling in the seat next to mine. Normally this part would take a while, because one of us—me—would have a time trying to figure out what they wanted. But that wasn’t the case today. I was starving and my pizza order didn't usually get too complicated anyway. I quickly decided on pepperoni and green peppers, and he went with chicken and spinach. I couldn't wait to eat some of mine and his. 

“So… how has it been? How are you?”

I shrugged my shoulder, taking my focus to my hands down on the counter. I really didn't want to talk about this. Honestly, it was the furthest thing from my mind. But I knew he was probably worried. “…Ok, I guess. I’ve been good.”

“Have things gotten any better? Be honest.” 

I looked up, seeing the care and concern that I always saw in his eyes. And that shit made it extremely hard for me to lie to him. I wasn’t a good liar either. So, I shook my head. It had actually gotten much worse since the last time he and I saw each other. But, that part, I had to keep to myself. “Not really. Just the same ol’, same ol’.” 

His gaze never left me, but he didn’t speak another word. Probably just didn’t have anything to say. I could definitely understand.

At this point my only concern was her wellbeing. I couldn't give anymore advice, because I had long tapped out. It had all been falling on deaf ears anyway. We’d known each other for about a year and a half now, and nothing had changed. I didn't mean to judge her, but she seemed content just where she was. Content with disarray. In my eyes, her reasons for staying were bullshit. Because love damn sure wasn't keeping her. Love wouldn't be doing half the shit she was enduring. It certainly wouldn't have her going into another man’s home just to get away. 

Nah.

Love is what had me making accommodations every sixty days for a woman who wasn't mine. It’s what had me turning down the advances of other women when I didn't have to. It’s the five hundred dollar mixer and numerous other baking supplies in my kitchen that I don't even use. It’s what kept me up at night asking myself what the fuck I was doing, and actually attempting to justify it. Love is me throwing everything reasonable, and everything sensible, and everything rational, and everything logical out the window when I knew better.

I felt like it was time for me to make a choice. For my own good if nothing else. Without question, things just weren't gonna work themselves out. I needed to start using my better judgment. It was on me, because she wasn't moving. I needed to take myself out of the picture. I knew this, but it was hard as hell to even think about. A sign from God is what I really needed. Soon. Because I felt that my next move was about to be a mistake no matter what. I hated to admit it, but I was getting tired of going to pick her up every time that ungrateful ass nigga left, having so much fun with her, and then taking her back to him. I wanted her. So fucking bad. And I knew the feeling was mutual. But being on the sidelines of her life was slowly breaking me. I had to accept that whatever I was to her now was likely all I would ever be. Equally, I couldn't stand seeing her allow someone to treat her so poorly when she was worth so much more. I just wish that I had been able to make her understand that. I wish all of it could've gone differently. 

“So, what you been up to?” she quietly asked, breaking the silence.

“Not much. Just working, the occasional event, linking with my boys. You know, the usual.”

“Any new possibles?” She couldn't even get it out before her lips started to form a grin. This was what she had really meant by her previous question. She always found a way to work it into the conversation. And each time was less cunning than the last, even though she was for sure trying to be slick. 

“Oh, of course.”

“Ewww,” she drawled, simultaneously smiling and scrunching her face in disgust. I chuckled. 

“What?”

“‘Oh, of course’!”

I dropped my head, laughing at her exaggerated imitation of me. I did not sound like that. “I'm just saying. Women love the king.”

“Oooh. You weren't this cocky the last time I saw you,” I teased lightheartedly, clutching my imaginary pearls. He was so tickled.

“I’m joking.”

“Nah, you're serious.”

“I know what I bring to the table, but I'm not over feeling myself.”

“I hear you, homie.”

He cut his eyes at me as I kept up my production of faux amazement. “You get on my nerves so bad, Jay.”

I grabbed his shoulder and leaned over on him, laughing too hard. Yeah, I was picking, but I couldn’t be mad. He was telling the truth. Women did indeed love his ass. Whenever we were out, I would catch them staring constantly. A couple of them had even had the gumption to approach him. But seeing him interact with the women who actually knew him, the women in his family, I could just feel it. They really loved him. His mom, his best friend’s mom, his little sister and a cousin were the ones I’d had the opportunity to witness him in conversation with. The adoration was practically radiating from the screen during their Facetime calls. He even had an aunt who would send him care packages from time to time. I understood fully. I absolutely adored him myself. He just had this light about himself and it was fiercely captivating. Even if I’d wanted to let go, I don't believe I could. His place in my heart had been solidified. I couldn't imagine my life without Omari. I didn't even like to think of the possibility. 

“So, these possibles,” I continued, a smile still lingering. “Is there looove in the air?” 

“Nah.” He reclined in his seat and propped his elbow on the back. In a matter of seconds, all enthusiasm had left his body. “I’m not really on that right now.”

I frowned. He wasn't usually so dry with me. “Did something happen?” 

“Nah, not really.”

“So, what’s up? You don't have your eye on anybody?” I found that very hard to believe. 

“I mean…” The sly smirk that made its way onto his face caused me to drop my concern like a hot potato. I knew he was holding out. 

“Mhmm. Spill, bruh.”

He reached up to rub the back of his neck, laughing a little as he leaned toward the island again. “I didn't say that, I just been chillin’.”

“Nah, something’s going on. We tell each other everything, now cat got your tongue.” 

“It’s not even like that. To be completely honest with you, it just feels like nobody is genuine anymore. Now, these women either just out here on the come up or they're only interested for superficial reasons. They don’t really like you. I can’t mess with none of that.”

“Well, I can definitely understand not being able to trust.”

“You know? It’s hard. And I do want that special something with someone, someone I can do life with, but I don't know. Risking your heart like that is just…” 

“Yeah. I get it.”

“So, yeah. That’s all it is.”

“Maybe you can start looking in some different places than usual. Where you be?”

“I'm not looking for anything currently.”

“Why do you sound so sad when you say that, though?” 

He glanced over at me and laughed, but I didn't return his supposed joy. I can’t lie, it was a bit troubling. We had spoken on this kind of stuff before, but he had never seemed so affected by it. “I’m not sad. I’m good, I promise.”

“Ok, so what qualities would your ideal lady have?” I switched to a lighter, more giddy tone, in hopes of making his mood follow. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wanna know. Maybe I can help you out a lil bit.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

[tricktster]

Honestly, I cannot say enough about my german study abroad program, in no small part because the people i met through it were the wildest bunch i have ever met. We had:

Me, a cursed American stumbling through increasingly unlikely and unfortunate situations, including:

getting arrested and hauled off in a cop car for the serious crime of not transcribing the five digit number printed on the back of my bus ticket onto the front of my bus ticket

slipping on dog poop on a crowded street while running late for class (leading a number of tourists to run over and photograph me in my undignified heap on the cobblestones) only to suffer one final indignity when i had to leave my poop shoe out in the hall outside the classroom, and subsequently discovered after class that it had been (correctly) identified as garbage by the custodian, and had been disposed of

spending the entire month of November with essentially no money after a bank error caused me to be cut off from my US checking account, thereby forcing me to figure out how to survive by my wits alone in a series of schemes, cons, and 1€ sausages

burning my thumb so badly on an oven in an attempt to make the world’s worst stuffing for the world’s saddest expat thanksgiving that my friends all had an intervention where they gave me a single black glove to wear because it was grossing them all out.

Enough about me. There were also my closest friends:

L , a horrendously wealthy New Englander who would drop lines in her stories like “so we were all smoking opium in my parents library,” and, “so every time my room gets too dirty, i just move to the next one down until the whole wing is filthy.” In spite of everything I’ve just said, she was also a genuinely good and incredibly fearless person who would throw fists without hesitation if she thought anyone was insulting her friends. She had a weird sexual relationship with her obscenely wealthy family friend in Frankfurt, which the rest of us suspected maybe been part of a business deal that their parents arranged at birth. It was better than Game of Thrones, honestly.

Y, a four foot tall Puerto Rican that I met when we were both walking down the street kind of near each other and some wild impulse called me to say to her, without so much as an introduction, “Yeah, you walk pretty cool, but if you wanna walk REAL cool, you gotta do it like thissssss,” while kinda lunging around. Just as inexplicably, she chose to continue talking to me, and several months later the two of us ended up making a harrowing 2:00 am escape from the private bar of a frat house that we had suddenly noticed had an awful lot of Nazi memorabilia on the walls for a frat located in a country that had criminalized the display of Nazi symbols. “Why are you leaving?” The frat-nazis complained as we bolted. “You will come back tomorrow afternoon for the barbecue, ja?” “Ahahhahaha nein fucking way, motherfucker,” Y muttered under her breath as we smiled and nodded politely all the way out the private garden, through the enormous iron gates, and out into the night. Once we were in the clear, we stared at each other, shaken, until Y broke the silence. “Welp. Those guys were Nazis. That actually just happened. I can’t.... man, I dunno, i’m still processing, let’s just go get some fucking falafel.”

We did.

S, the Australian, who one time invited me over to her apartment, opened the fridge, grabbed a plate of cheese, shoved it under my nose while going “HERE SMELL THIS!” and while i lurched away, gagging, cheerfully added “IT’S REALLY FOUL, RIGHT? ONE OF THE WOST THINGS I’VE EVER SMELLED!!” She was also absolutely obsessed with High School Musical, and was very disappointed every time the Americans shattered one of her illusions about the US public school system.

K, the girl from New Zealand, who had broken up with her serious boyfriend shortly before leaving for Germany, causing her to mourn his loss every time she got drunk by describing his penis with increasingly strange metaphors, such as “like a big wax candle but part of it’s gone,” and “like one leg off a spider.”

So, i had a pretty solid crew of five big weirdos. But there were, naturally, more people than the five of us in our program. For example:

R, from Minnesota, who dressed like she was about 72 and glared at anyone who was laughing too loudly near her because “i just don’t think jokes are funny.” More importantly, she would post facebook videos of herself reciting, entirely sincerely and in a steady monotone, the worst fucking poems that I have ever heard. She posted them under a pen name that was along the same lines as “the lyrical falcon.” She was in a feud with not one but two poetry clubs at her christian college, and while she never admitted this, all evidence suggested that it was because they both kicked her out. She was the Tommy Wisseau of poems. They were so bad they looped back around to good. Also, one time on the train she told me that she liked to think that she was a very good kisser because she played the french horn so she had strong mouth muscles. when i finally recovered from the mortal blow that she just delivered my soul, I asked her if she blew into people when she kissed them, and she got so insulted that she blocked me from her facebook poetry page. let me back in, R. please, if you’re reading this, let me back in.

They’re good poems, R.

Zoolander, from Pennsylvania, who was so, so handsome, but so, so, so dumb. One time he told me about this dream he had, and it was just an entire episode of Dexter’s lab. No changes or anything, he just... dreamed that he was watching that episode, and then the whole thing played in his head until it was done. He said it was the best dream he’d ever had. I once watched him pick up the same coin off the street four times because he couldn’t figure out that his pocket had a hole in it. When he noticed me, he said excitedly “Somebody left money everywhere!”

Juan, who constantly confused all the kids from Spain who went up to talk to him in their native tongue, only to discover that he was a very sarcastic man from Liverpool who didn’t speak a word of Spanish and was sick of everyone trying to bond with him. He only liked the Americans, because that’s where the tv show Family Guy was from, and only the Americans liked him, because we tend to like surly british assholes for basically no reason. At the end of the program while we were all saying our goodbyes, he came up to me, looking really upset. “I can’t believe it,” He said, uncharacteristically serious. “I can’t believe it’s all over and i’ll never...” He looked like he was about to cry.

“Oh, dude, we can keep in touch on facebook or something?” I fumbled. He blinked.

“What? No, no, ugh, it’s just the last day of the program and I’ve LOST MY FOOKIN SCARF!” he roared.

God, I know this is weird, but I still really miss that guy.

The Croatian: There was a dude from Croatia in my apartment building who outright refused to tell me his name, because, “It’s an embarrassing word in English. You’d laugh.” I badgered him for five months, until finally, his defenses down, after many earnest promises that no matter what his name was, I would not laugh, he relented.

“My name is Tin.” He said sheepishly.

His name was fucking Tin.

Beardy, Beardo, Redbeard, and Weirdbeard: four drastically different young men from all across our beautiful planet who had one thing in common: thinking that they’d try out a beard while they were abroad. We always admired them from a distance, and compared their beards’ various unique and bad properties, until one day Beardy (who was australian and had developed a sort of flesh colored goatee) walked up to S, his countryman, in a club. “DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?” he yelled, trying to get her attention, but she was in a dance-off with K, and didn’t notice, so he tapped her shoulder. She whirled around, startled, and upon recognizing him, said without thinking, “OH, HI BEARDY!”

The song faded out.

Beardy stared at S.

“...Did you just call me ‘Beardy?’” he asked quietly. S looked like a deer in the headlights. She glanced towards me, hoping for an out, but I, dear reader, was laughing too hard to be of any use.

“You did,” he went on, “you called me ‘Beardy!’ Why!?”

“Cuz of your beard, probably. That’s a better name for you than Josh.” Zoolander interjected from out of nowhere, strolling out of the club, a beautiful woman on each arm.

“My name isn’t Josh...” Beardy tried to call after him.

“Who’s name isn’t Josh? Oh! Beardy!” A drunk K could be heard deducing from the back of the room.

He shaved it a week later, but the damage was done. He was Beardy for the rest of the semester.

When I look back on that period of my life now, I can’t help but reflect - with the clarity one only gets from experience - that my time in Germany was not as weird as I thought it was at the time. I lacked the perspective to see that it was all, actually, absolutely bonkers batshit nuts. It was some sitcom shit.

All in all, I highly recommend it.

[rigginsstreet]

tell me bout fred and fp at thanksgiving <3 it can be the au where fps his fake thanksgiving date if u want

I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE AU SINCE NEITHER OF US IS WRITING IT (i actually thought about writing it for christmas or thanksgiving and then... other things got written instead rip)

sometimes i think about fred meeting up with fp at the wyrm after finding a flyer for his services... sometimes i think about it being a college au and fps this random dude in freds dorm thats hes like “hey, you look like trouble, wanna go along with this incredibly stupid idea for some cash and free food?” and fps like “of course”

also the whole reason freds even doing this is because his parents wont stop hounding him about getting married, particularly to a woman (and maybe he hasnt even come out yet, all the talk about “finding a nice young lady” just really gets on his nerves), and this whole thing is a lesson in teaching his parents not to be so goddamn nosy (jokes on him tho cuz he actually ends up falling for fp and lol thats gonna be awkward to tell his folks after all the shit fps gonna pull) (also gonna be awkward for fp having to face freds family bc the whole point of him acting crazy was he was never gonna see these people again and face real consequences)

the only thing fred really tells fp to do is just like, be rude. forgo any manners, talk shit, be obnoxious. he does not expect fp to go the crude route and start talking about fred having a big dick in the middle of dinner (which... freds wondering how fp could possibly know that, wonders if hes psychic. fp just has a good sense for big dicks like its a hidden talent really. a cool party trick) ok also bunny trying to be polite and ask how fred and fp met and fps chowing down on a turkey leg like “it was that orgy, right?” looking at fred and freds like oh no this was a bad idea... and arties choking on his potatoes and oscars laughing cuz he thinks this is kind of hilarious but also hes disgusted. hes certainly having a time. 

oh and fps playing grab ass with fred all night. fred did tell him to be as openly affectionate as possible... hes just doing his job.

OHHHHH OKAY!!! and so hes been terrible the whole night but he somehow ends up alone with bunny helping her do dishes or something idk the plan was to go annoy her but somehow it ends up with them having this deep conversation where fps opening up to her about how he didnt really grow up with parents cuz his mom died and his dad was hardly present and they end up really connecting and fps like oh no this is bad this shouldnt be happening

but the moment gets broken because fred and oscar are yelling at each other in the living room, probably about fp, and oscars running his mouth and it sounds like brotherly banter at first so fps sitting back watching bunny and artie trying to calm them down but then maybe oscar says something shitty about fred and it kinda gets under fps skin and next thing they all know fp and oscar are brawling and it becomes a whole thing. and once fred and artie finally break them apart arties yelling at fp to get out of his house and freds trying to plead fps case and but arties not hearing it and is just like “how could you be with trash like this?” and then fred finally cops to this all being a set up and how he was just doing it to prove whatever weird point. and everyones all confused but arties still pissed and wants fp gone and freds like “fine but im going with him” and that surprises artie and bunny just wants everyone together and oscars doesnt care about anything besides his fat lip

but fred and fp end up leaving and go to pops or something and fps apologizing for going too far and freds like “nah its fine. somebody shouldve punched oscar ages ago” and they laugh. and they end up talking for a while and to cut a long story short, there is a kiss at the end of the night. and fp feels bad about ruining thanksgiving so he goes over to the andrews’ the next day to apologize. bunnys far more accepting than the other two but artie reluctantly comes around. fp doesnt really care if oscar forgives him but they end up calling a truce or whatever.

and fred and fp start actually dating and by christmas they have a normal dinner. oh and i guess at some point they gotta address fred being gay? lmfao but after all the bullshit that happened that night thats honestly the least of their concerns

[punksarahreese]

what do family celebrations look like in the murmur au? like birthdays, Christmas, thanksgiving etc 👀👀

👀

Birthdays

Vivi’s birthdays are always super important

Because honestly she was born premature, addicted to meth, and with major heart defects so obviously her outlook wasn’t good

They didn’t expect her to live a week

But she got stronger and when Ava adopted her she was ~6 months old and well on her way to a full life

So ever since then birthdays have become a reminder of how lucky they were and how precious Vivi is to be in their lives 🥺

Sarah and Ava take the day off work and spend it with Vivi and take her shopping and let her pick out a special present

Usually she picks a movie or game that they can watch/play as a family cuz she loves being around her mums <3

Sometimes she’ll get a plushie or a blanket

Or one of those plastic doctors kits because “Vivi be like mama-mummy” 😌✨

After that they’ll go home and do whatever Vivi wants that day

Which is usually cuddles with her mums and just playing games

When she gets older they take her to the park for a little while because her immune system is stronger and its okay for a little if she doesn’t overwork herself

And she loves those days

Especially when she gets to have Ava push her on the swings <3

Also once Ava, Sarah, and Crockett become friends its common for Crockett to bake cupcakes and bring them over

And they usually have little bumblebees made out of fondant on them because “it’s for ma petite abeille, of course” 🥺🥺

Uncle Crockett supremacy !!

For Sarah’s birthday she doesn’t like a big fuss but Ava and Vivi love to spoil her

Vivi always makes her a card and adds cute little drawings and even adds some of her cutest cannula stickers for mama :((

Ava almost always plans to have Maggie or Crockett watch Vivi for the evening so she can take Sarah out to dinner

Because with work and parenting they don’t get out much on real dates

And it’s not a big deal but Ava does like to spoil her girlfriend because she deserves it

And she also gets her thoughtful gifts like an expensive curl shampoo she’d wanted or a certain kind of coffee/tea she mentioned liking

For Ava’s birthday Vivi does the same, making a card and adding stickers (the anatomically correct heart stickers that Doctor Latham gave her are the obvious choice 😌)

Sarah and Vivi always get up early to surprise Ava with breakfast and coffee because she’s always in a rush and she deserves to have a good breakfast especially on her birthday

Sarah is very practical with her gifts for Ava and it’s usually whatever medical book she had been wanting or a new stethoscope or scrub cap

But she’s also been known to splurge on a good bottle of wine for them

Christmas

Christmas was never a big thing in Sarah’s house what with her divorced parents and all that

But it was important in Ava’s family

And even though Sarah lost her Christmas spirit somewhere along the way she was happy to spend time with Ava and Vivi in whatever way they wanted

Vivi just loved any time she got to spend with her mums so she was content

She loved to sit in the window seat of their apartment and watch the snow 🥺 and she was kinda sad when she was too sick to be outside

So sometimes Crockett and Ethan would come over and everyone would bake cookies and decorate them to make her feel better <3

And Ava made special hot chocolate (made with real dark chocolate and with chai steeped into the milk it’s so good) that everyone loved and it was a signature part of their Christmas time

They would visit friends if Vivi was up to it, stopping by the hospital to bring cookies to the nurses and CT/peds staff

And on Christmas Eve they sat together by the window to watch the snow fall and Ava read all her favourite books from her childhood and it was just soft :((

There was one year when Vivi was 4 where she had a bad infection and was in the PICU over the holidays :((

She felt so poorly and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just go home with mama and mummy

She cried when she realized she wouldn’t get to watch the snow and have hot chocolate that year on Christmas Eve 🥺

And Sarah just sat with her and kissed her head and promised she would spend Christmas with them even if it was in the hospital

When she spiked a bad fever on Christmas Eve Ava was devastated

Vivi wasn’t very lucid because of the fever and the amount of painkillers they had her on and she was just crying when she was awake :(

But Ava just stayed with her, in the bed with her baby in her arms

And she read all the books that they read together every year

And she promised Vivi that things would be better soon

Sarah was by their side the whole night and she watched over them when Ava fell asleep with Vivienne held tightly in her arms

And the next morning her fever broke and she was feeling well enough to have half of a cookie that Crockett brought (which she shared with uncle Latham because he walked in and she decided he needed some Christmas cheer)

(And Latham was kinda like ??? But Ava laughed and told him that she had explained to Vivi about how he didn’t celebrate Christmas but she still wanted to make him smile and share the cookies 💞💞)

Thanksgiving

Ava never celebrated thanksgiving before moving in with Sarah because it just isn’t a thing in South Africa

She didn’t quite get it but she enjoyed any time spent with her family

And thanksgiving in particular was a time when the whole ED staff (+Sarah/Daniel/Ava/Connor) got together if they could

Usually at Maggie’s place

Vivi would spend time playing games with Noah and April while Ava and Sarah helped with the cooking and stuff

And sometimes Vivi just liked to be held on Sarah’s hip, head resting on her shoulder as she watched mama stir whatever sauce Crockett was showing her how to make

Everyone sat down to eat and had a great time and even if Ava didn’t celebrate thanksgiving and Sarah never really did because of her family situation this was just perfect

Because they had their own little family now and traditions are always best when spent together <3