#cuz if i will fail to do that in this timeframe i will Not be finishing it

[isuggestwishcraft]

hey there guys!!

to cut the announcement short: i am very sorry for the relative silence. i dropped out of college today (at last and finally) - which was the reason i was stressed these past 4 days - so the isat playthrough will continue tomorrow because its very late now and i want to actually be Fresh to deal with the Horrors!!!

see yall after i sleep :)

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep7 Musings - Martyrdom & Lestat's Character Development (TVC Spoilers)

Even though IWTV is Louis' story & his arc as the MC, The Vampire Chronicles are ultimately about how all of these vampires affected & impacted Lestat. (Especially since by the end of the series he's not only the MC, protagonist, and (anti-)hero; but he's also the former host for the Sacred Core that created the vampiric race (after Akasha & Mekare); and the elected king of the Vampire Court, affectionately/officially called "(Brat) Prince Lestat" in the final trilogy.) So, even though we're seeing Louis' struggles play out, we're also seeing Lestat's; and one of the big moments is this Trial in 2x7.

Even though the most important thing that happens is ofc Claudia's death, an underrated moment is Madeleine's death.

Lestat callously mocks Madeleine's choice to die with HER "coven"--her companion, Claudia--rather than keep living (ostensibly: keeps fighting, but I'll get to that in a bit), and join Santiago's coven. "The martyr skips her way to Hell."

I was initially booing & hissing at Lestat for being a heartless a-hole, still spiteful against Claudia and failing to fathom how anyone could risk their lives for her; when even HE sat there and let his own daughter/fledgling burn to ash right in front of him.

But on the other hand, I actually love this moment for Les as he mocks Madeleine's choice; not only cuz it's ironic AF, considering Les LITERALLY skipped his way to Hell in Memnoch the Devil; but most importantly cuz this is all (hopefully) contributing to Lestat's character development later on. 🙏

Claudia's death affected Les deeply--nowhere near as deeply as it did Louis, ofc, but she was still his daughter/fledgling. AR never focused on Madeleine past IWTV, but hopefully the show makes Les realize later that THIS moment b/t Madz & Claudia is what TRUE love is--not ultimatums & conditions & ownership; trying to "crush what you cannot own"--but martyrdom & sacrifice & loyalty. Laying your life down for someone else. Eff would you love me if I was a worm--would you CATCH A BULLET FOR ME? Would you BURN for me? That's Claudeleine's love; but in the IWTV timeframe Lestat's just not at the point where he gets it--yet.

Loustat vs Claudeleine: What it Means to Love Someone

TVC also tracks the development/progression/evolution of Loustat's love; struggling to grow & thrive in the weeds of dark eternal damnation. They totally failed e/o in IWTV. Loustat's rekindled relationship was first demonstrated/tested in QotD, when Akasha spared Lou simply cuz Les loved him; rather than burning Lou up w/ the other weak AF vamps she'd slaughtered.

But Akasha also used Louis as collateral if Les refused to serve her.

Les had to risk his life to try making a move on Akasha & save Louis & the other vampires from Akasha's plans for world domination. But that was largely out of self-preservation; not selflessness; as Les was basically her captive, Stockholmed into being her lover.

Les committed horrible atrocities as Akasha's consort, butchering innocents & unleashing hell on earth, slaughtering whole cities--just cuz he was too scared to die. Despite how much he hated himself for what he was doing, no matter what, Les wanted to "fight for life, even when there is no real justification. I wanted to live; I always had."

So OF COURSE Lestat wouldn't understand/appreciate Madeleine's decision to lay down her life and die; not just for Claudia's sake, but also to die for her principles.

Lestat thinks his "capacity for enduring" makes him brave, but compared to Madeleine, he's a hypocritical coward. Madeleine refused to join Santiago's coven, or participate in their shams & farces. She stood on her principles, AND she stood by her companion; even at the cost of them dying--at least they're together.

Ofc, an argument can be made that by becoming Akasha's consort, Les WAS martyring/sacrificing himself for Louis' sake; because Les DID know what true love was, and loved Lou more than he loved himself. And I might agree with that--had AR not written TotBT.

TotBT & MtD: Lestat Skips His Way to Hell

In MtD, Lestat is recruited by the Devil/Satan/Lucifer (who calls himself Memnoch the Devil); and is taken Dante's Inferno style on a tour of Heaven and Hell, in the hopes that Les will hate God enough to join the eternal war against Heaven as the Devil's right-hand. SPOILER: Lestat rejects Memnoch (cuz Les wanted to be a priest--he still LOVES God, despite the "ocean" b/t him & Christ); and as punishment he is trapped in a coma for years, as he's psychologically/spiritually tortured in Hell until he finally breaks the spell & wakes up in Merrick, when Louis tries to kill himself (which AMC pushed up to 2x5).

Lestat had followed Memnoch after a depressive spell of deep self-loathing; feeling guilty for how he'd Turned David in TotBT (raping him into vampirism to be his new companion when Louis rejected him); and still haunted by the memory of Claudia in IWTV. Memnoch showed Les the Divine Plan, when God told his favorite (fallen) angel Memnoch/Lucifer that He would let Himself be crucified as Jesus in the flesh, for His love of humanity.

But Memnoch is horrified, and thinks God's plan is not only a futile failure, but also cheating (cuz being an immortal, He can never really "die" or be sacrificed/martyred). Memnoch appeals to Lestat's own experiences having temporarily come down into flesh in TotBT, body-switching with Raglan James for the desperate love of being human--and then hypocritically wanting to be an immortal vampire again when Les realized being human actually sucks. 😅

At the start of MtD, Les was VERY salty towards all the other vampires (especially Louis) for having refused to help him when he was stuck in Raglan's body in TotBT.

Loustat's love, as genuine as it is, was marred & tainted with ultimatums & conditions & ownership. As much as Les hated being human again, Louis refused to turn Les into a vampire and put him back on the Devil's Road as one of the damned undead.

Les DEEPLY resented Lou for not making him a vampire again. Les assumed that because of their relationship, Lou would HAVE TO do this favor for him; that as his companion/Maker, Lou OWED Les, and by refusing/rejecting him Lou'd BETRAYED/ABANDONED him.

Lestat didn't understand that in Lou's eyes, refusing to Turn Les was Lou's greatest act OF LOVE, the best favor; keeping Les human so his soul wouldn't be damned anymore as an evil blood-drinking serial killer. Lou said "You have triumphed in this as only you could;" but Les (like Memnoch) only saw this as a massive failure. This was Lou's SACRIFICE for Les, putting their love/relationship on the line; as Louis ordered Les to never look for him or talk to him again--to go live as a redeemed human and leave the damned alone--or else. 💀

For all the strides Loustat had made to repair their relationship, Lestat was still UNWORTHY of Louis' love in TotBT; and hadn't appreciated the sacrifices Louis made for him out of love--the kind of martyrdom it took to WILLINGLY sacrifice something precious for someone else's sake. Lestat thought the Maker/Fledgling bond was a stamp of ownership, cuz he'd been Turned by Magnus UNWILLINGLY; out of rape and violence & captivity/enslavement.

Les became a vampire as an act of SURVIVAL; shaking his fists at God the whole time; a chip on his shoulder cuz he never asked to me born into darkness (like Claudia). Louis, however, was made out of LOVE, and WILLINGLY gave up his life to be with Les (yes, we know he was drunk AF & suicidal, but still--he nodded his head cuz he HAPPILY & LOVINGLY CHOSE Les).

Loustat both see Lou's turning as their wedding, but for Les it's still a marriage CONTRACT--a transaction with terms & conditions. He is Louis husband, yes, but God Complex de Lioncourt declared "I AM YOUR MAKER!" Louis was still just a "Fledgling/Slave" under Coven Master ("Massa") Lestat's shingled roof, just like Claudia said.

As much as he loves being a vampire, and as cavalier & devil-may-care as he approaches existence forsaken by God in the Savage Garden; Lestat is fully aware of what it means to be culpable & deserve punishment. Memnoch asked Lestat what he thought Hell should be like for sinners & Evil Doers both human & vampire alike, and at first Les hesitated, "I'm afraid to answer. Because I belong there."

It's not until well after Louis' final rebirth in Merrick that Lestat finally earns back Louis' forgiveness in PLatRoA, and agrees to (re)marry Les & be his consort at Chateau de Lioncourt, Lestat's birthplace. And it's not until Blood Communion, AR's final TVC book, that Lestat risks his life for his loved ones (Gabrielle, Louis, & Marius) for THEIR sake, not his own; going up against Rhoshamandes in the ultimate showdown to save them.

AR is VERY/overly explicit about the Christ-like martyrdom her messianic Prince Lestat undergoes in order to save Gab, Lou & Marius; his killing Rhosh ultimately saving all the vampires & ending the civil war. Les fought Rhosh "with speed and surprise;" going in blindly with the only thing that could get the jump on this SUPER Ancient vampire (Lestat's great-grandfather in the Blood) who would've otherwise overpowered Les as easily as he overpowered Marius. Les fully intended to die fighting Rhosh, but he fought him regardless, hoping to somehow get his loved ones back or join them in death.

Lestat and Louis were reunited, dancing happily at the celebratory ball AMC was clearly inspired by Blood Communion in the Mardi Gras scene from 1x7. And they're obviously lifting from BC in 2x7, too, with the red velvet chair/throne Lestat sits on at the Trial, directly paralleling the numerous Trials & executions Prince Lestat presides over in BC, as he destroys Rhosh's fledglings & minions--and the love THEY showed their Coven Master Rhosh, being willing to die for THEIR principles and refusing to join LESTAT'S Vampire Court.

So hopefully, if AMC gets as far as the Prince Lestat trilogy, Les will remember this moment at the Trial; and hopefully they'll continue using parallels so Les realizes what it means for Madeleine to have martyred herself for love.

[catis15]

Haha

I've been skipping classes and am currently failing all but 1 of my classes. Am I failing cuz I'm skipping? Nah, I just did 80% of the past 3 weeks of work in an hour. Turned it all in and got As ans Bs on all of it. The shit I got Bs on is because I half assed it cuz I'm impatient 😅

But the Mother who literally said she doesn't give a shit where I go, doesn't give a shit if I move out and never come back, doesn't give a shit about me because I'm an ungrateful brat she'll be happy to get rid of, is having a meeting with the school tomorrow.

' To figure out how to deal with me because I'm a problem'

She has already told me that in the meeting I will be forced to quit my job and all extracurriculars. I am President of FBLA, vice president of DECA, and an active member of HOSA. I also attend D&D club when I have time for it.

My life will be from home to school back to home.

I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. There is a high chance I also have PTSD and autism.

My mother is not nice to be, hasnt been since I was about 8 or 9 years old.

I am responsible for paying my school bills including supplies, buying my own food, and for my mice's food, bedding, and vet bills. I cannot just not have a job.

And while I'm sure most people are like 'well you shouldn't have skipped' I have insomnia and struggle waking up sometimes when I'm able to actually sleep without waking up every few hours or not being able to sleep at all. I miss my morning class a lot. I spend time with my girlfriend (someone my mother hates and has literally yelled at over the phone before and has begged me to break up with) during some of my afternoon classes because I could do the entire curriculum in a day without studying and get a B. I've been doing this since 7th Grade.

I take that time for myself because I have been on and off suicidal or bad suicidal thoughts since I was 7 to 9 years old (that timeframe is really blurry for me so I am not 100% sure on my age) this time keeps me from living the life I'm about to get again be forced into, where I have no life outside of studying for school and being belittled by my mother every night when I go home. This means I will be living off of ramen, canned soup, and whatever I'm lucky enough that my parents do not want and leave in the fridge. Sometimes they cook. Usually once or twice a week if I'm lucky.

I'm not a great daughter. I will be the first to admit I'm a little fucking asshole, I'm not nice or thoughtful twords anyone but my little sisters and my grandparents. I fully admit I have said horrible things about my family, but I've only ever heard that from them. When it wasn't that it was about how well I do in school and how I need to keep it up keep it up keep it up. Until I collapsed, until I realized getting straight Cs and jeopardizing my academic future was better than that constant pressure. How much freedom can be found in being the family screw up.

I'm left to my art and my business ideas and my relationship. All things my mother has told me are unproductive, and silly, and useless, and going to bring me down from my potential.

There wasn't really a point to all this, but I am genuinely afraid of what my life is about to go back to. For a while I wished I could remember how to just shut up and do as I'm told again, because I can't seem to remember. But now? I'm glad I can because while I might be miserable I'm sure as hell going to fight in any way I can.

My only fear outside of that is how it will affect my girlfriend. She is more emotional and attached than I am. I'm used to being away from family and having relationships torn apart, being in a military family. And while she is used to it too in some ways, it affects her a lot more. I literally cannot get attached like how most people describe. Every time I get close I get a depressive episode and can't feel much of anything for a bit. But I don't get close often, maybe once or twice a year.

There's no point to this, just a personal rant on an account no ppl ik in real life know of :)

I needed to tell someone but don't have anyone to really go to 😅

[kob131]

I never watched anything else from RT, so I don't know what you say should feel me with hope or dread. I don't recall any redemption story in RWBY so far. Maybe they won't even do one, I think Emerald will be the one, she just needs to find a better boo, 'cuz Cinder is no waifu material. I hope it's not Hazel, because he never gave a pause of thought how irrational he is until a country bumpkin brought some reason and logic to the table. Oscar deserves a better mind parasite.

Answering this separately-

My thoughts are irrelevant really. Whatever I saw is gonna be colored by my own biases and my own failings as a critic. You shouldn’t be taking what I say as absolute fact and more my own observations. 

But yeah, Emerald does hold a lot of the signs they do use to indicate redemption arc: hesitation, regret, horror and misgivings. they did the same thing with Illa and it was done with a character called Locus from Red Vs. Blue Seasons 11-13 (using this timeframe because Miles Luna also wrote that).

Cinder is more written like Felix from the same timespan: Cocky, power hungry, abusive and the type of character made to hate. He was never redeemed: he got humiliated and killed (Hell, Cinder already fulfills the ‘humiliated’ part).

I guess use THAT as your judge. And if it becomes that big an issue: stop watching and supporting the show. Not saying this to edge out criticism or anything- it’s just what you’re suppose to do since a loss of viewership hurts the most. I did myself with Red Vs. Blue when i didn’t like the direction.

[enigmatic-goat]

So.. there is this artist on Tumblr. Not gunna call them out cuz that’s not really my style. I paid them for three commissions, total coming to around $150. That was... three years ago. Since that time I message them every few months asking about the status of my commission, and there is always an excuse about rollbacks or busy schedules. And hey, I get that. IRL comes first.

At the same time, they continue to take new commissions every day. They make posts about their prices and note that rent is due, or they need some new stuff for the home, etc. And for every dozen or so commissions they take in per month, they seem to put out -maybe- one piece per that month.

I’ve already written off my $150 and I don’t expect to ever see my three pieces. But I could care less about those as much as I care about the numerous people who are paying them to this day for pieces that they, too, will likely never see.

I suppose the point of this is that if you are an artist, try to take on only the commissions you feel you can complete in reasonable timeframes? I understand IRL, we all do. And any good consumer will not hound you if a piece takes longer than expected. But at the same time if you take on dozens and dozens of commissions to pay your bills and never put out products, you are being dishonest and in effect scamming the people who are buying.

And to consumers, just be careful. Take a peek at how often the artist you plan to commission actually puts out work. Of course, there are instances where an artist will privately sell their work, but most artists display the things they create. I’m not saying don’t commission artists with sparse works, just keep it in mind as a factor going in.

And once more, I’m not going to give a blog name or artist name in regards to this, because that’s not what this post is about. To me, that $150 is a donation to their rent or something. A gift from me to them. I just wanted to make the above points because, honestly, I’ve seen this happen more than once out there and it never fails to make me twitch when I see artists taking on dozens of commissions, getting paid, then never producing the paid for product.

No disrespect to artists, either. There are a lot of good artists out there who will be open about their expected timeframes and work to produce what you paid for in reasonable scope. If you are one of those, know I have nothing but love for you.

[queerfox-tales]

Does anyone who sees this know much about tapping into their... I'm not sure how to word it, their heart, their spirit?

I started doing it thinking that I'd be proven wrong or something and that none of that stuff was real. Instead I seem to actually be able to sense things more and more (and in consequence, questioning my sanity but whatever). So I've been using it to figure out my best path for stuff whether that be for the day, my writing or a lot more literal in the sense of which path should I take to get to this store today. I've also been starting to try to sense others' paths cuz what good is this if I can only use it for myself. I have no confirmation of anything big but still, reading better my "instincts" seemed to going fine.

So I was daydreaming about a relationship I'm certain will come to be (assuming I'm not actually crazy and imagining everything about my sensing) and a joke was made within it that gave me a feeling. The joke involved time such as "we'll just wait another 10 years". I got this feeling that there is no "in 10 years". So ya, I think I got a timeframe of my death from a joke in a daydream. The other person's too. Apparently neither of us are making it to an age that I never had any real reason to doubt that I would reach. It's kind of freaking me out. I've had previous moments of "oh that's super weird" from all this sensing stuff but this is another level. Now I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do something cuz I kind of want to change it even though I can't. It actually made me temporarily think about stopping the connections I've been making within myself.

Anyway, so ya, if this made sense to anyone, any chance you're looking for a buddy or someone to guide? I've been looking for a mentor since the beginning but I have no idea where to look and can't find similar people (not truly similar. Some seemed close but our goals for this ... tool? skill? are just SO different). Or maybe you're also teaching yourself and want someone to be crazy with you. Feel free to respond to this or DM me. I think my DMs are open. I'm also in Canada so if you are too, we can be crazy in the snow making an igloo while pouring maple syrop everywhere together. I don't know. I failed making friends 101 so.