#cute nilfgaardian kids

[vera-simik]

Inktober, day 16

Mari's family has kinda close relationship with nilfgaardian royal family (her dad is a friend of the emperor)

This comic is a product of another fanfiction brainstorming (aka "Under the Lamp Talks") with @akishito 😄

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Tw: mentions of death, war, murder, child abuse, slavery, lil blood think thats all but anything i missed feel free to tell me

Note: not very knowledgeable with the witcher fandom but i tried to investagate what i could, but even so ill probsbly get stuff wrong so my apologies here. Also good with writting so sorry if it sounds shitty XD

POV: u found out whose been stealing ur food

Ana from Nilfgaardian: Backstory

Ana's life was filled by nothing but human's torment and survival. She only 3 years old when she was found with her mother's corpse and letter saying that whoever finded her to please took care of her. Samuel one of the prisioners in the group took the child as his own, felt pity to let it die in the middle of the forest like her mother.

And so for the next 3 years Ana would grew up being taught the best way to stay alive is to stay quiet and obey. Ana's only family was a grop of criminals but they loved her and took care of her as their own. But even so, child or no the guards wouldnt care less, once you become a prisioner you're treated like one...

They knew she wouldn't last long in this hell of a place....

When the heard the rumors of a witcher close to these walls, they decided to help her to escape, witchers protected people so if she could find the witcher she could find protection.

She met the group later on, they found her eating their food behind the bushes, she tried to run off and they were gonna let her go if she hadn't fainted duo to exhaustion. The decided to take her in until they could find someone who could take care of her. (Spoilers that day hasnt come 😃)

(They gotted clothes for her cuz c'mon she was barefoot the poor thing :/)

Interactions with the group:

Avdol: He was the first one who she got the closets with his calm aura made her trust him, he likes to read her and share stories of their past hunts, he also tends to spoonfeed her a lot. Litteraly calls him mama XD (doesnt really mind, he thinks its cute)

Kakyion: The quiet duo. They mostly enjoy eachothers company, likes to play with his hair and observe him and avdol when they making potions (she sometimes gets handsy but backs off when told to)

Polnareff: she like his music, she sometimes ask him to sing her to sleep (specialy after having a nightmare) he like to tease her sometimes (which ends up her biting him lol) also because she so quiet she tends to scare him off HAHA

Alex & Yanyu: She loves them :3. Very affectionate with them and likes to sleep on Yanyu's lap. Although Alex gets a lil nosy sometimes so she just cover her ears to let her know shes being too loud (i feel like she tends to raise her voice without meaning to like me xddd)

Jotaro: Another one whose she's very affectionate with. Was scared of him at first but she gets very attached to him later on. Calls him papa (says he doesnt like it but he actually MELTS at the name) stays close to him the most and likes to put flowers in his hair. Loves being carried by him 💕

Ana: Da-ddy?

Jotaro: Do I look like-

Ana: :(

Jotaro:..........Fine

Ana: Papa! :D

He's like those dads that didnt want the dog at first, but treats them like their kid the next day lol

Joseph: He babies her the most and likes to tell her stories of his old adventures, he tells him about holly sometimes (mostly when jota isnt close) uses her as shirld whenever he pisses jota cuz he knows how soft he's become on ana (jota denise it but we all know how it is 🙄)

Overall they all love her very much and will fight anyone who hurts the child

____________________________

Note: Witcher jjba au belongs to the wonderful @ahoge-fish pls go and check it out on their blog! Cuz its thanks to them im just as hooked as i am to this fandom now ksksksksks

Also hope i didnt make the characters to ooc here (im sorry if i did)

[friendlylocalwriter]

The Quiet Stranger

Pairing(s): Geralt of Rivia x fem!reader

Warnings: Slight mention of violence, mild language, bit of a meet-cute, nothing too bad

Requested: No

Prompt: You live a quiet life in the forest with your mother after the fall of Cintra, selling grains and produce to keep enough coins for survival. When your mother leaves for a long journey to the market, you're surprised to meet a white-haired stranger in dire need of help, and even more surprised by how you feel about him.

Word Count: 2452

Chapter: 1/?

A/N: Hello friends! I have decided to do a multi-chapter Witcher fic because like,,, have y’all seen him LMAO. I’m hoping to actually get on a schedule and post every Saturday for this fic, so I hope you all enjoy! And, I’ve decided to stray away from writing real person fics (like my timothee chalamet fic I posted earlier this year) so there will be no part three to that, so I apologize! Pretty please comment/reblog if you enjoy, because that’s what keeps me goin! This is also posted on my AO3 @/violettaren. Enjoy loves! <3

Your back is aching. 

You turn over on your poorly constructed wooden bed to see your mother opening the curtains to your shack, letting the bright light of the morning shine into your eyes. You groan and let your head fall back onto the cheap fabric that works as a makeshift pillow. 

“Get up urgently, young one. We’ve much to do before I leave for the market” your mother says as she gathers various tools from the main table in your home. Well, home is generous. Nilfgaard had taken your home in Cintra many years ago during the war, robbing you and your mother of your father, your home, your livelihood. You were so young that any memory of Cintra escapes you, but you see it on your mother’s eyes every time she looks out onto the large acre of land you two now occupy deep in the forest, alone. This isn’t where she’s meant to be. 

It’s this thought that forces you out of bed to help your mother gather the grains and berries you grow in your garden to sell in the town miles over every few months. The coins your mother makes isn’t much, not nearly as much as your father made in Cintra, but it’s enough to keep you alive. Enough to allow you to stay home while your mother is gone for many weeks and study the books your father left behind. 

“I’d appreciate it if you actually put the grains in the bag,” your mother grins at you, looking down at the empty rucksack that should be full of the tall brown plants cascading across the field. You drop your head and apologize, quickly feeling around to see which are ready to be picked. You feel your mother’s hand on your shoulder, forcing your gaze up to see her expression.

“I was only kidding, dear. What has you so disquieted?” her voice was soft and plush, enveloping around you like a warm cotton blanket. Christ, you were going to miss her.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave, Mother. At least not for so long.” You sighed, pressing the pads of your fingers into your hands. “I feel so lonely here, all I can do is tend to the garden and read Father’s books. Can I come with you, just this once?” 

You already knew the answer, but it didn’t hurt to try. 

“Now, dear, you know it’s much too dangerous for you to leave here,” her voice stopped as she took in a deep breath, looking into your eyes with a sad smile. 

“I’ve lost- I’ve lost too much to take the chance. I’m sorry. And with Lav’s sickness, the journey will take even longer since I must go on foot. You have to understand.”

Lav was your family horse who’d been with you for many years, but her age was starting to catch up with her. She could barely walk, let alone carry pounds of produce. 

"I do, I do understand." you sigh and carry the bags of food to the front of a trail where a barrel stands, and you begin the load to load the produce. Once the last of the bags are set, you grab your mother tightly, and you drink in her laugh, hoping it'll stay with you for the coming weeks. 

"I'll be just alright, dear. Just make sure Lav doesn't eat any of my damn berries."

•••••••

Lav’s loud neighing woke you up as the sun was just starting to rise over your shack. You assumed it was just your old horse coming across some little rodent in the garden, and snuggled back into your blanket, thinking nothing of it. But her sounds got progressively louder and more shrill, and you sighed, ripping the blanket off of your body and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You glanced in the mirror next to you to see your sheer pale nightgown outlining your body.  No one comes around even miles close to here, you thought. Shrugging, you make your way outside to the garden to see Lav and �� nothing. Like you thought. 

“What is it, girl? What’d you wake me up for?” you pet her brown mane, looking around to see if there was anything out there. 

“You get scared so easy, Lav. Make no more noise, please,  Lord knows I need the beauty sleep.” 

You give her a few more head pats and yawn, turning around to walk back to your bed when you are met with two amber eyes looking at you. 

It takes you a few moments to realize that there is an actual person, a massive one at that, staring at you with no expression on his face. Once your brain decides to work, you remember what you’re wearing and your hands immediately fly to cover your chest. 

“I am - I didn’t know anyone was around here. I’m sure you’re just passing through, I’ll get out of your way,” your voice comes out much quicker and more child-like than you would’ve hoped, and you try to speedwalk past him. You only get maybe two steps in before a calloused hand grabs your arm, turning you back around to face him again, forcing you to get a good look at him. 

Funnily enough, his amber eyes are the least striking thing about this stranger. His long locks are a dusty white shade, with a few sparse strands framing the front of his face. He’s wide, god why is he so wide?, and he easily has at least 6 inches on you. He has three or four fresh scars on his face, and what looks like the handle of a sword is peeking out from behind him. Your eyes fall down his heavily dressed chest only to see a large hole at the bottom, right above his pelvis. Your brows furrow, and you quickly realize that it is a knife wound, noticing the dark dried blood. Your heart stops and you run through all of the things your mother told you to do if a Nilfgaardian came to your home. 

“Listen,” he says almost immediately after feelings your pulse quicken under his touch. “I am not here to hurt you. I am Geralt, of Rivia. I need attendance.” His voice is deep and ragged, with such a severe intensity that you hesitate to reply. He lets his grip loosen on your arm but still keeps it there, ghosting over you. 

“Please, I will give you no trouble.”

“I don’t know, a wound of that caliber kind of indicates to me that there’d be a bit of trouble,” you joke, lightly gesturing to his abdomen with your free arm. He says nothing, his eyes scanning your face. 

Yeesh. You haven’t seen another person other than your mother in years, but you didn’t think your jokes were that bad. 

Once the silence begins to verge on uncomfortable, you slowly remove your arm from his grip and move back a bit, crossing your arms over your torso. 

“I can try and help you, Geralt, but I’ve no magic nor any healing powers. I can possibly stitch that wound you’ve got and give you some fresh ale to help with the pain?” you propose, even though you had quite shoddy sewing skills. You swear you see his rock hard expression falter quickly, but it goes right back before you could figure out if it truly happened or not. 

“I would appreciate that, uh…” 

“Y/N, my name is Y/N, of, well formerly of Cintra,” you smile tightly, forcing those thoughts out of your head. 

He simply hmmed, and you spot his eyes trailing down your collarbones to fall onto your chest. You feel the heat come onto your face and you turn around, trying to concentrate on anything except the amber of eyes of the stranger. 

“Come inside. I’ll get changed quickly and then hopefully get you back to health, and on your way.”

•••••••

He was bad at talking. Or rather, he just didn’t want to talk to you. 

Once you two were inside, you tossed on a large tattered poncho over your nightgown and grabbed the old sewing kit on your nightstand, praying that you had the skills to hopefully help this man. He was sat on your bed, constantly fidgeting around to try and get comfortable. 

“I know, it’s quite hard, isn’t it? I wake up feeling ten years older every night,” you look up to smile at him while you try and get the thread through your needle. It feels like hours pass before he says anything. 

“I am used to discomfort.”

You try to rack your brain to think of what to say, because who the hell says that, but you come up short and decide to work on the pressing task at hand. As soon as you prepare the needles, you stand up and walk towards the back of your shack where all of your food and drink are stored, and grab the beer you and your mother made with the fresh grains.

“Here,” you hand it to him, ignoring the electricity that runs through your arm when his fingers brush against yours. “Hopefully this will help with the pain.”

He gives you another hmm and takes a large swig while you sit next to him, being extra cautious to make sure there is enough space between the two of you. He quickly finishes his drink with a sigh and places it on your nightstand, looking back at you with expecting eyes. 

“I, um, need you to remove your dressings. For me to work, of course,” you sputter, mentally kicking yourself in the head. 

You notice Geralt’s lips rise oh so slightly into a little smirk as you stuttered, and he wastes no time tossing his bag with his weapons onto the floor and then slowly removing the many articles of clothing on his torso. You feel an odd pull in the bottom of your stomach when you see his shirtless body, his arms veiny and riddled with scars, his chest muscular and equally as blemished. That same heat rises to your cheeks and you look down at his wound, wincing as you examine the gash. 

“Lean back, please,” you murmur, cringing at how weak you sound. “I can’t properly stitch you in this position.”

He obliges wordlessly as he splays his half-naked body onto your cot, closing his eyes. You realize how much effort you’re putting into just breathing, and you get to work on closing the wound, getting into a rhythm with your sewing. His abdomen clenches but he lets out no audible indication of pain, his mouth sealed in a tight frown. 

“How did this happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I do.”

Shocked at his rude candor, and embarrassed, you say nothing as you press your head down, hoping to make no further eye contact with him. He hisses as you work towards closing the largest part of the wound, and you thought of apologizing but decided against it due to his track record when it came to talking. You continue to stitch in silence until the wound was closed, and you sigh in relief as you looked at your finished work. Wasn’t great, but wasn’t going to kill him. 

“It should heal soon, hopefully,” you stand up, moving to rub your hands on your thighs until you notice the bloodstains all over them. With a shiver, you grab a wet cloth and roughly scrub at hands. You couldn’t stand the smell of someone else’s blood any longer. 

You hear a creak and turn around to see Geralt standing up with his clothing in his hand, and you immediately feel anger cloud your head.

“What the hell? You’re going to pull the stitches, you idiot,” you grab the clothes out of his hands and toss them back on the ground. “I did not just cover my hands in blood for God knows how long for you to mess up my work minutes after!” you exclaim, putting your hands on your hips. Geralt laughs in such a condescending way that you can’t even begin to hold back the fury in your voice.

“You asked me for help, remember? I should be hearing ‘Wow, thank you Y/N for helping me, a random stabbed stranger!’”

Geralt’s smile falls as he stares into your eyes, and you feel that same discomfort from when you first found him outside. He just did everything with such intent and passion that when it was directed at you, you felt like jumping out of your skin.

“Thank you, Y/N, for what you’ve done, but I will be fine. I must be on my way,” he grimaces as he takes a step, and you can almost feel the pain with him. 

“Geralt, listen. I get it, you’re a strong guy,” you step in front of him and try and remove the anger from your voice. “But you’re going to need to relax for at least a day. Give the stitches some time to settle.”

“I’ve no place to stay. It’s just forest, for miles.”

“You can stay with me.”

The sentence leaves your mouth before you can even recognize what you’re saying. Geralt’s eyebrows raise and he tilts his head slightly, eyeing you as one would to a lost puppy. Any confidence you had immediately dissipates when you realize what you just suggested, and you open your mouth but nothing comes out. 

“I mean, only if- if you’d like. If not, I’m sure you can make it to a town on foot by tomorrow. I’m sure your fast,” you finally choke out with a scratchy laugh, and you shut your eyes, wishing this entire situation would just disappear. 

Geralt laughs again, but this time it’s much more earnest and kind of … adorable? Not that you should think of this strange man who’d been knifed and wandered through a forest as adorable, but he kind of was. 

“Y/N, open your eyes,” he says, his voice surprisingly stern. You look up at him, preparing for another blunt response, but are met with much softer eyes. 

“I wouldn’t wish to overstay my welcome.”

“You wouldn’t be,” you breathe, shyness creeping up under his gaze. “I- I would like for you to stay. Just so I can make sure the stitches are okay.”

You didn’t notice it until now, but Geralt’s fingertips were so lightly touching yours that there was almost no contact, but just close enough to get that same pull in the bottom of your stomach. You’d never felt anything like this before, and as much as it terrified you, you didn’t want it to end. 

"Alright, then it's settled, Y/N. I'll stay."

[gloir-aen-ard-feainn]

More about that CrachShip:

Getting married was 100% a political move for both of them. An easy and sure way to ally with and have access to Skellige for Emhyr, and a way to ensure Nilfgaard wouldn't try to kill his daughter for Crach. While Skellige normally spits on the notion of peace, Crach loves his kids. And he doesn't want Cerys' reign to be any more difficult than it already will be.

As much as I'd love to say Emhyr armored up and went to kick some Wild Hunt ass in Skellige, he's past his fighting prime. Instead I'll say that Geralt arrived just in time to save Crach's life. Crach was, of course, in pretty bad shape following that battle. Emhyr went into their partnership assuming it'd be loveless and unpleasant more often than not, but he also figures he might as well try to make it decent when he can, just because he assumes something is going to suck doesn't mean he wants it to suck. So he does his best to help take care of Crach while he recovers.

They had two separate ceremonies and celebrations, one in Skellige and one in Nilfgaard, to try and best conform to their own respective traditions. Emhyr wasn't sure how to feel after being challenged to a fist fight at his own wedding, he knew Skellige was typically rowdy as hell but he wasn't prepared for a drunk old man to try and fight him at his own wedding. Crach was also not prepared for Emhyr's ballroom floor, despite having heard about it in the past, nor was he prepared for exactly how catty Nilfgaardian nobility can be, or how flustered Mererid can get.

Emhyr gets cold easily, and he doesn't like it. In fact he actually really hates it. So naturally, whenever he's in Skellige he spends most of his time next to a fire or shivering. Crach thinks it's a little cute, not that he'd ever tell Emhyr that.

Emhyr initially hated Crach's beard. A lot. But he's got to admit, Crach's... Ruggedness has grown on him. And he doesn't mind the facial hair nearly as much anymore.

Bonus: Mererid is still a little in shock about this whole thing, and he'll never quite get used to Crach being around, or being in Skellige. Either Crach is very out of place in Nilfgaard or he and Emhyr are very out of place in Skellige. He nearly fainted when that drunk old man tried to throw hands with Emhyr at the wedding.

[dukeofdogs]

You liked the Netflix show and want more stuff from The Witcher universe? Here’s Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales.

Did you like all the strong female characters that were in the show?

Well, let me introduce you to Meve, the queen of Lyria and Rivia. She's just as badass as her cintrian cousin Calanthe  in my humble opinion she’s a whole lot better. She’s a strong single mom who just wants to get rid of Nilfgaardians that invaded her kingdom. Did I mention that she wears a golden full plate armor? (no boobplates in sight!). The. coolest. female. protagonist. in. games. since. forever.

Or maybe you fell head over heels in love with Jaskier?

Yes? Then you're going to love the Duke of Dogs, Earl of Mutts, High King of Huckleberries, His Trampy Highness, His Sparky Lordship, the one and only - Gascon. He's just as charming and funny as Joey Batey's Jaskier, but he's way way waaaaaaay cooler.

Or maybe you like soft men who only live on the respect-your-queen juice?

Meet Reynard Odo, the most loyal friend you can have. (his relationship with Gascon is just as funny and wholesome as Geralt and Jaskier's!!!). And not to spoil anything but this fella has some feelings for his queen 👀

Perhaps you have a good taste in music? Well, every song on Thronebreaker soundtrack slaps. Main theme? Slaps Taming a Stray? Slaps Retribution? Slaps Duke of Dogs? Are you chopping onions? Cause I’m about to cry!

"But, ma'am, how can this game be this cool, when we aren’t able to play as a witcher?! Surely this queen can't beat a monster all by herself! The Witcher world with no interesting monsters to kill is no fun at all!"

You think a horde of monsters can stop Queen Meve and her army from taking back her kingdom??? Give Thronebreaker a try and see for yourself that no wivern, drowner or an ancient swamp goddess can stand a chance when they meet Queen Meve!

"Okay, fine. But how can a war story focused mostly on politics be fun?" you might ask. Well, believe me or not, it truly is entertaining! Each choice you'll make during your adventure will have consequences later in the story. You have the power to decide how the history will remember you. But be careful! Most of the times you'll be choosing between lesser and greater evil.

"Hmmm, that sounds fun. But why is the gameplay based on Gwent? I hate cardgames!"

My dear friend, it might look like Gwent, but it surly doesn't play like a typical card game. This one will make you believe you are actually leading your army into the battle. Imagine if Heroes of Might and Magic III had kids with Puzzle Agent, slap a story written in the spirit of Sapkowski's books on it and you'll get the masterpiece that is Thronebreaker! And if you find the gameplay dull and just want to enjoy the story, you can skip battles on the lowest difficulty level!

"I'm still not convinced. I don't know why would I invest my time into a story that doesn't have any characters from the show..."

Oh boy oh boy! This is the only game that takes place in the books timeline (or as you might prefer: during the timeline that will hopefully be included in the show). A lot of the characters already introduced in the show makes appearance in the game too! By playing Thronebreaker you'll meet a better version of Eyck of Denesle, there's a fun Geralt and co. cameo taken straight from the books. Keep your eyes open and you'll even notice a certain dragon-friend! And I promise you, the rest of the gang you’ll get to know is very well written and you’ll grow to love them all.

You like cool views and gorgeous graphics? By playing Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales you'll be able to visit some neat places such as: a breathtaking lands of Lyria and Rivia, the snowy peaks of Mahakam, Yennefer's homeland - Aedirn (bring a sunscreen with you it might get hot and full of Elves there insurance not included). Visit Shrek's cousin in the exotic swamps of Angren now and you’ll get leaches for free! This magical trip can be yours for just 30$ (or wait for a sale and get it for 15$!).

Perhaps you want to make some great friends?

Well, Thronebreaker fandom despite being very small is one of the best communities you can find. Check out our discord server now and you’ll get the best TB memes for free!

Oh, and a cute pupper can join your team and will eat snacks from your hand during battles!

"WHERE CAN I BUY THIS GAME???" Thronebreaker is available to purchase on GOG.com, Steam or PS4/XOne. Keep in mind that by buying the game on GOG you'll get some neat freebees for Gwent! and all your money will go to the beautiful folks at CDPR!  

[kattahj]

Thoughts on Sword of Destiny

I finished reading Sword of Destiny weeks ago, but never got around to posting thoughts, in part because commenting on every story took some effort, but also because... well, a lot of it is complaining, and I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But OTOH, there's a part of me that really really wants to gripe, and I did enjoy some of it. So, thoughts.

Story 1: The Bounds of Reason

I have already talked about how the descriptions of Tea and Vea made me feel like I was inside teenage Andrzej Sapkowski's locker room. There's some other not-great stuff too with Yennefer - she gets tied to a wagon, has her shirt ripped off, and the dragon baby seeks comfort in her intimate parts, all of which has Jaskier going "nice!" STFU Jaskier, you're intolerable in this.

(Note to people wondering why I'm still calling him that, I've primarily read the Swedish version, which calls him Riddarsporre, and if I used that name no one would know who I'm talking about. Calling him Dandelion feels weird, since it's neither his original name nor the one in use in the translation. So Jaskier it is.) I even got the English e-book and started taking screencaps of all the passages in this short story that made me roll my eyes over the sexism, and after 15-20 something screencaps I went, "This is way too long for a tumblr post." So now they're just lying around.

Apart from that, it's a nice story. Some things are the same, others very different. There are more people around, which is fine, but I think it was the right choice to cull the herd a bit for the show. There's more explicit discussions around hierarchies, what makes a hero, what makes a monster, and so on.

Interestingly, Geralt and Yennefer's plotline is rather reverse to what it's like in the show. In the book, she arrives pissed as FUCK at Geralt and claims she'll never forgive him, yet by the end of the story they're cozy with each other again. Which of course also means that there's no quarrel between Geralt and Jaskier either. In fact, Jaskier arrives separately and is all, "Oh, hey Geralt, I thought I'd hang around and write a new ballad," and the rest let him stay because, as they put it, he's not of any use but he's not any bother either.

I guess the way it went down in the show was in order to return Yennefer and Geralt to separate storylines for the finale and make sure Geralt is properly isolated too. (And properly grumpy - as someone pointed out, the episodes including Jaskier tend to be lighter than the others, because that's the way he sees them.)

Story 2: A Shard of Ice

In which Yennefer is fucking Geralt and Istredd on alternate days, and Istredd wants to close the relationship and tells Geralt to fuck off because he's an emotionless Witcher, and Geralt pouts. Then Istredd wants to fight to the death, and Geralt accepts, and Yennefer dumps both of their asses, and Istredd wants to fight to the death anyway, and Geralt is like, "uh, no, I'm not here to help you commit suicide" and leaves. Also there's some Snow Queen imagery shoehorned in that really could have been used better.

Yeah, this was pretty much my least favourite story of the lot. I don't like love triangles at the best of times, and this wasn't even a particularly good one. Plus, any time that guys think they can decide between themselves who gets to date a girl, they deserve to be dumped. So I was all, "good for you, Yen, go find someone better." Though of course she won't.

I also started wondering if Yennefer's based on one (or more) of Sapkowski's exes, because there are so many times where Geralt's all, "Why does she act in such a way!?" and I'm all, "I bet if you two ever TALKED PROPERLY you'd find out!"

Like. Damn. I know people complained that their love story in the show was sudden and forced, but I ship them more there than I do in the books so far.

Story 3: Eternal Flame

I quite liked this one! It's a fun little romp and expands nicely on the concept of dopplers, as well as introduces the Nilfgaardian religion. I have a feeling that I've seen the concept somewhere before, where a person imitating a merchant does a better job doing business than the merchant himself. But if it's based on a fairy tale I can't remember which one.

There is some groan-worthy stuff between Jaskier and his ex-girlfriend, but that's so minor it doesn't mar the story much. (I have to say though, book Jaskier is SUCH an asshole, and yet book Geralt is so much nicer to him. It really makes me question Geralt's judgement.)

Story 4: A Little Sacrifice

This one started with some pretty shitty stuff with the little mermaid (showcasing the recurring themes of a) boobs and b) women making demands that can be easily dismissed as unreasonable), but then we got Essi Daven, who was a good, likeable character. I enjoyed reading about her. Even Jaskier was more tolerable in this story! I was all, OMG Sapkowski, you're actually writing a woman well, go you...

...but then of course she instantly fell in love with Geralt (cue Juliet's gay friend: "You met him SUNDAY!") and we're told that she wears his pearl until she dies of smallpox a few years later. Which, of course. Of COURSE a girl who has flirted with the great Geralt of Rivia can't just get over him and live her life in peace. Oh no, it HAS to be disappointment, disfigurement and death.

So ultimately, the bits I liked made me even grumpier about the bits I didn't like. But still, Essi was fun while she lasted.

Story 5: The Sword of Destiny

This is the first one where I actually don't have any complains about Sapkowski's writing of women. The dryads are okay, their story is interesting, and the interactions between Geralt and Ciri are very cute indeed. It's rather sad that we lost those interactions in the show, though it would have been hard to include them with the way it was written, since it all depends on neither Geralt nor the reader knowing who this little kid is. (Though I'm pretty sure even unspoiled readers could guess.) Still, it makes the destiny feel more natural and not just the "family at first sight" thing we got on the show.

I basically only have two gripes, a small one and a big one.

The small one is that it's VERY HARD to take the dryads seriously when part of their Elder Language is barely disguised English slang. I don't know if this was a thing in the Polish edition, or if it happened in the English translation and was then carried through to the Swedish one, but it snaps me right out of the story when they say things like "Bloede arss!"

The big one is that either Sapkowski has no idea how children mature, or Geralt doesn't, because no WAY is Ciri ten or close to it in this story. Now, Geralt is presumably a big guy, so it's not impossible to think that he could carry a smallish 10-year-old on his shoulders... but I have a hard time seeing a 10-year-old allowing it. Or walking around snotty without caring. Or just in general talking and behaving the way Ciri does here.

To put things in perspective, 10 years old is one year younger than Harry Potter is in The Philosopher’s Stone, and two years younger than Meggie Folchart in Inkheart. The only way I can make ANY sort of sense of Ciri in this story, is by thinking that Geralt, being so old himself, has no concept of children's ages, and she's actually five or six.

Which would mean she's also being betrothed at five or six, but hey, Scandinavian Queen Margaret I was betrothed at age four, and I wouldn't put it past Calanthe. If she can sell her granddaughter at ten she can probably sell her at six too.

Story 6: Something More

Listen, I soaked up Geralt's injured hallucinations on the show, and the book is no different. Some of the dialogue with Visenna is exactly the same. I'm purring. The circumstances are different, but both versions work well. I like the way the transitions were done between reality, memory and dream, and the ending is very sweet. I have no complaints. :-)

[brachyurans]

tw3 moods, part 4

BASE GAME GWENTE QUESTE COMPLETE. I AM KING.

you know how i was saying i wanted to use a Nilfgaard deck for the aesthetic well i played a bunch of practice rounds against merchants and put together a good Nilf deck and won the passiflora running Emhyr the Relentless and it was great

i think i might try a Monster deck for the BoW and HoS gwent quests but that’s pretty far in the future.

also, i managed to hit 100 hours on this game without doing a single main quest in skellige lmfao

i learned how to install w3 mods so i could put in Always Full Exp. i waited so long for skellige that nothing was giving me any exp anymore and seeing ‘received: 2xp’ after quests is kind of not fun. now i’m enjoying crossing contracts off again! overleveling is a fake gamer lie.

i figured out the incredibly hilarious fact that geralt’s honey-collecting method involves setting the entire beehive on fire and waiting for it to drop to the ground. geralt hasn’t been friends with bees since he was torturing them with jugs as a witcherling and he’s not about to start now. i haven’t yet figured out what i’m meant to do with all these honeycombs but i sure do got ’em!

the bit where geralt gets put in skellige prison made me chilly. they made him go barefoot :( on the other hand, geralt interacting with what passes for a justice system on this world is fantastic and heartbreaking, he is embittered and impatient and he wants everyone to hurry up and just tell him exactly how bad he’s going to get fucked over today

the way geralt’s face fucking DROPS when eredin shows up in the cave of dreams. [MUFFLED SCREAMING]

also, the way blueboy lists off the herbs everyone’s gotta take—hemlock, henbane, nightshade, etc.—and geralt is like whoa that’s gonna be a hell of a trip like FHSKFJSK of course mr. i-drink-poison-for-a-living knows exactly what kinda trip they’re gonna have. and he’s still just like fuck it this may as well happen to me today.

hjalmar’s quest was actually a tremendous amount of fun, i was kind of putting it off because i don’t enjoy boss battles, but it reminded me a lot of being a kid and how much i loved reading the bits with odysseus and polyphemus (and rereading. i swear i read the polyphemus sequence over twice as often as any of the rest of it). the odyssey was one of my favorite books as a child. yes i was that child. getting folan from the rock trolls was also a lot of fun and having him around for the rest of the investigation was nice. (amazing he could fire a bow with those burns on his hands tbh.) i’m always ten times more willing to wander into horrible dark caves when i have an npc around to be friends with.

i would smooch cerys an craite. geralt should not, that would be weird, but i would.

I PUT THE BABY IN THE FUCKING OVEN

i don’t even have fucking words for this quest i was like ok cerys i support you and then. oh my god. i SCREAMED. i almost missed the timed choice i was too busy freaking out. like. THIS?? THIS IS THE FUCKING CONTEXT FOR THAT???

obviously after all that i crowned her queen. who the fuck picks hjalmar over cerys when she’s obviously the superior candidate like crach says he has no preference but the only point he can give in hjalmar’s favor is “skellige wants a monarch who’ll lead them to battle with nilfgaard” like ok sure crach but i’m gonna back the monarch who won’t immediately fling the isles into emhyr’s maw. may the reign of the first queen of skellige be long and prosperous.

CIRI!!!! IS!!! GAY!!!!!!

i thought lesbian ciri was just a reasonably popular fanon but no you can look a naked woman straight in the eyes as ciri and say “actually, i prefer women,” i love & support my lesbian daughter

the entire last wish sequence killed me FUCKING DEAD

geralt when he says ‘agh, no, not another portal’ and yen tells him to stop whining 😭😭😭

me: ok geralt lets try for a repeat of the unicorn scene [selects dialogue]

geralt: you wanna fuck on the top of a mountain in a dead guy’s bed?

yen: no.

yennefer, darling and best-beloved as she is to me, actually super needs to stop reading geralt’s mind without permission it isn’t cute or funny. it is also, as far as i can see, an invention of the games. bad cdpr [whacks with newspaper]

i’ve now let both the succubi go so i can never make a succubus decoction. rip me. the uncraftable recipe in my alchemy tab is gonna bug me but i just won’t stab women for the crime of being Horny if i don’t have to is that so wrong

i absolutely could not bear to kill any more fucking sirens so around this point i went to get uma. i still have sidequests and Witcher diagrams to get in skellige but sirens and mountains are annoying.

emhyr: i give you leads as fresh as morning dew and this is what i get?

me: well after running around the continent on fifty different side quests the leads were all uh... slightly less fresh.

“forktails this close to the fortress? someone’s been slacking off” go on just drag eskel for filth why don't you geralt

time for everyone to go on their Life-Changing Field Trip with Zuko Geralt

omfg the illusion child with the foglets that Lambert said was copied from his cohort is fucking TINY. it’s probably a reused model because the trainee witchers must have been close to full-grown when they did the trial of the medallion if they were going out on the Path right after but still like... thas bad. witchers are tragedies.

that geralt and eskel’s idea of quality time is dissecting a katakan together (or rather, eskel dissects a katakan and geralt eats an apple...i desperately hope he got the apple out of his pack because it kind of looked like he grabbed it off the nasty-ass katakan table and that’s Gross, geralt)... these guys are fuckin nerds

eskel managing to radiate mom friend energy while practically black-out drunk is extremely powerful

if I was yennefer witnessing three men twice as big as me squeezed into my nice dresses i would have had MUCH harsher words for all of them. those dresses would be unwearable afterwards. also i made the mistake of taking everything off in order to wear yen’s pants which meant geralt woke up on the floor completely naked while everyone else was already busy having their shit together while fully dressed. embarrassing.

vesemir is an extremely fucked-up old dude. ah yes, you know how old people are, nostalgic for their torture tables, just can’t get rid of those. lambert is right about everything

emhyr may be a grade-A douché but geralt’s a little bitch. what’s wrong with morvran leading a banner to kaer morhen, i thought we liked morvran. he’s a horse girl and he’s always polite to us. you don’t even know how to command a company of nilfgaardian soldiers geralt. oh no emhyr will have intelligence about kaer morhen if morvran comes!—he would get the same if it was just the soldiers you think his companies aren’t full of spies??? suck it up and play nice for ciri we need bodies in that castle!! suspect geralt went to ask emhyr literally just to lord over him that he was going to do some fancy magic stuff with ciri that emhyr could never, smh

i have to stop main-questing now and Prepare i want at least three more levels and all of my Witcher gear in order before i head out after ciri

which means i gotta go kill some more sirens.

fuck.

[crowbound]

Things I want for Kaey: (bolds are top picks)

            • An AU where he’s a supernatural entity that makes deals/trades, like a mix of the crossroad demons from Supernatural & the Outsider from Dishonored. I just really like the idea of Kaey being a darkling little shit with black eyes & dark makeup.

            • Grey Warden!Kaeyonari. Not even like in a Hero of Ferelden way, just him as a Grey Warden. Like I even have a backstory ready for this & everything (a Grey Warden saved him from slavery so when he was older he decided to be one).

            • Because I’m a cliche lil shit: Mermaid!AU. I’d totally dig a pirate/mermaid ship. I even have my own mermaid concepts where they’re kinda like vampires (see this post). I just want a sweet mermaid bb Kaey. & I mean I just love the idea of vampiric mermaids/sirens!

            • On the topic of vampires: vampire AU. Again, because I’m a cliche lil shit. Imagine Kaey as a vampire please. Imagine sweet, delicate Kaey as a vampire. & I don’t care if its a period or modern AU, I just want vampires! & I’m down for experimenting with unique lore, like my concepts for the mermaid AU!

            • Ghost!Kaey. Or some other supernatural, gothic AU. Like I have ideas for a dinner party-esque supernatural murder mystery rp group but I’ve never been good at making group rps. But just imagine Kaey dressed as a Victorian gentleman with a dark secret, like he has a curse or he’s a ghost or a vampire or something else sinister! Imagine this along with a gothic mansion, with rain & lightning & a grim butler that has to tell ppl they can’t leave the estate because the bridge is out or its flooded or something. Give me cliche gothic things!

            • Dishonored AU where Kaey was marked by the Outsider after Daud left the Whalers & he became one of Corvo’s agents but he kept his powers a secret & when Delilah came back in 2 he used them to try & help Corvo/Emily. Also please imagine Kaey with a tiny ‘step on me’-esque crush on Emily Kaldwin, he has a thing for powerful women!

            • Witcher AU where Kaey is a Witcher, or where he’s a Nilfgaardian mage.

           • Modern witchy AU because I love the aesthetic of the witch son & I think Kaey would make a very good witch son who has a black cat & grows his own herbs & spices & he works at a bookstore/coffee shop & he has a crush on the artist/writer who spends all their time there & they happen to be interested in witchy stuff for their project & he starts helping them understand it more all while being like ‘I’m just a spiritualist/Wiccan’ but later he tells them the truth & shows them his magic & they’re surprised & yes !!!

           • Single dad AU, because Kaey raising his girlfriend’s kid or his sister’s kid while she’s in the military is cute. Imagine stay at home, 22-year-old dad Kaey.

           • Night club AU where Kaey is a glamboy that wears pretty makeup & jewelry & is a little punk rock & probably questioning his gender/sexuality. & there’s drugs & sex & other dirty, nitty gritty underground things but the important part is that Kaey is a v punk rock questioning individual who is free-spirited & wears his boyfriend’s oversized shirts as pajamas & who smokes on the balcony in regular clothes without his crazy makeup or jewelry or anything else & he’s smol & he’ll climb his bf like a tree & his smiles are cute & his laugh is contagious & he has a dark past but he doesn’t care bcuz he’s in love & when he cries his makeup gets smeared & he yells & drinks when he’s upset but he always ends up back on boyfriend’s doorstep because ‘I can’t do anything without you’