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Biz-Journal article on NigeHaji and non-romantic marriages

Who Knew “Contract Marriage” Couples Had It So Good? No need to fit the other’s lifestyle and no stress

Author: Fujino Yuri / Seidansha

[Caption: Aragaki Yui]

Starring Aragaki Yui, the drama “Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu” (“Running Away is Embarrassing But Useful”)1 (TBS) continues to rise in popularity and attention as it sets viewership records such as capturing 16.9% of viewers with its ninth episode on December 6th (Kanto region, Video Research Ltd.).

The most common topics have been how cute2 Aragaki is, and the “Love Dance” included in the outro to the song “Love”, sung by lead Hoshino Gen and danced by cast members.

“NigeHaji” is the story of Moriyama Mikuri (played by Aragaki), a woman who, despite her high grades, failed to find a full-time position and was then cut from her temp position; and Tsuzaki Hiramasa (played by Hoshino), a software engineer with no experience in relationships--the two of whom decide to get married “as a work relationship”, and begin living under the same roof without ever having gone on a single date. Of course they sleep separately, and as of the end of the ninth episode, they are not in a sexual relationship.

Japan is currently full of men and women in their 20s and 30s who have never gone on a date, let alone get married. According to results from the National Fertility Survey, conducted by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research and released in September of 2016, about 70% of unmarried men between 18 and 35 years of age “have never dated anyone”, and the number has risen to about 60% for unmarried women in that age group.

Even if they want to get married, they’re in a situation where they aren’t even finding anyone who’s interested. Under this shadow, men and women who have ditched the idea of “marriage for which love is a prerequisite” and gone with something more along the lines of “NigeHaji”’s “marriage as an extension of communal living”.

No Sex, Meals Separate--But They’re Happy

“Until now, marriage has been thought of as something that comes from a process of romance and dating. But there are many cases recently where men and women get married after hitting it off with someone they can see as a ‘roommate’. I call these kinds of marriages revolving around communal living ‘communal marriages’3.”

So says Kameyama Sanae, an author with a number of books on love and marriage issues under her belt. Ms. Kameyama says that in recent years, the number of chances she’s had to hear from men and women who are happily cohabiting and marrying without having romantic feelings for each other has increased.

The question that often comes up is: Even if no feelings of love exist at first, can men and women can live under the same roof without developing such feelings for each other? In “NigeHaji” too, the main plot thread revolves around the heroine Mikuri’s development of feelings toward Hiramasa, her “contract marriage” employer.

But Ms. Kameyama says that “couples4 in communal marriages aren’t really aware of their partner as the opposite sex, whether they’re male or female”.

“So both before and after getting married they don’t have sex, and of course their rooms and beds are separate too. There’s not a sense of assigned roles like ‘the man goes out and works’ and ‘the woman stays in and does housework’. Many couples in communal marriages don’t feel the need to match the other’s schedule, so meals are usually separate too. They might go out to eat together once every six months.”

It’s a strange marriage where a couple’s lives and time are completely independent of each other. But surprisingly, instead of marital relations breaking down, couples in communal marriages maintain for many years the same type of relationship they had at the start, and are able to get along with each other’s families.

“They see the other’s family on holidays and send ‘happy birthday’ texts on LINE. It’s because they have some distance that they don’t forget their feelings of gratitude to each other. To those around them, they look like a normal happy couple,” says Ms. Kameyama.

What About Kids?

But in an age where it’s difficult to find someone you want to marry, is it that meaningful or beneficial to marry someone you have no romantic feelings for? On that point, Ms. Kameyama says, “Because they aren’t harboring any ideals or dreams about marriage or the person they marry, they don’t develop disappointment in the gap between their ideals and reality.”

Indeed, for those unmarried men and women in the 20-40 age range, what gives them the most trouble is pressure from family and others around them--”Aren’t you going to get married?”, so a communal marriage, which at least quacks like a marriage, can give their parents some peace of mind.

“The primary benefit of a communal marriage is to be able to freely live the life you want to. You don’t have to worry about your spouse’s living style or when they eat or sleep, so there’s less stress. You don’t have to quit work, and you’re able to live the life you had when you lived alone, while still being able to reach out for help when you have problems. Your spouse doesn’t get over-involved in your life. There’s a sense of someone else being there, but on the other side of the wall.”

Certainly traditional marriage has the image of “taking away your private time”. In a survey of 500 people who were either married or cohabiting carried out by MyNavi Renting in June-July 2012, over 80% of respondents answered “Yes” to the question “Do you want more alone time?”.

When asking unmarried men and women for their reasons for remaining unmarried, many are likely to give reasons such as “I still want to be free”, “I want to use my money on myself”, “I want to keep working”, or “I don’t want to be tied down by family”. One can consider communal marriages as a new form of marriage that removes these sources of dissatisfaction.

But while spouses can protect each other’s freedom, it’s not as though communal marriages have no downsides. The conspicuous example is children. With no romantic feelings for or sexual relations with each other, as long as the couple doesn’t take the routes of sperm donation or artificial insemination, no children will result from a communal marriage.

“But among those who choose communal marriages, there are many who ‘don’t like sex that much’ or ‘don’t want children’. For those kinds of people, not having children isn’t that big of a problem.”

Will Communal Marriages and “NigeHaji” Couples Keep Increasing?

When looking at the increase in marriages that cut out the process of finding love and are “based on an extension of communal living”, one must take into consideration the fact that there are many people who have had bad experiences dating or are tired of their partner interfering with and constraining them. There are also the type of people who need to keep a certain distance from others to be able to live with them.

For them, a non-romantic marriage where partners don’t interfere with each other and can live at their own pace will work fine. If they don’t have any expectations of their partner, they won’t run the risk of getting hurt and failing in their romantic endeavors.

“By nature, the people who choose communal marriages include many who will do work and housework and anything else that comes up by themselves,” says Ms. Kameyama. “This is the type who are independent and have the mindset of ‘I can do it myself’ and therefore pull away from marriage. But as a result of the Tohoku quake or other factors, those kinds of people have started to think, ‘maybe I’d feel safer living with someone else instead of by myself’, or ‘if I get married, the people around me will stop worrying about that, and my life might get less stressful’.”

In short, dating is a pain, but I want to be with someone. When two people with that mindset get together, the result is new forms of marriage like communal marriages.

“Marriage isn’t a ‘must’. If the situation is fine for the people living together, that’s all that’s needed. There’s a large possibility that communal marriages will continue to increase going forward.”

Of course, cases like that between “NigeHaji”’s Mikuri and Hiramasa, in which couples who haven’t known each other well start to live together as part of a contract marriage, then later develop romantic feelings for each other, are also likely to arise.

As the difficulties in dating and finding love rise, the shapes marriage takes will diversify. Perhaps communal marriages or couples like the one in “NigeHaji” will simply continue to spread.

出典: Biz-Journal.jp

(Page 1 of 3) 1123字 > 578 words

(All pages) 3046字 > 1530 words

Footnotes: 1I reject the official translation and substitute my own. 2Without more context I’m not sure how else to translate “kawaii” for an English-speaking-but-not-necessarily-familiar-with-Japanese-culture audience. Pretty? Charming? Lovable? 3Wonder if something like "cohabiting marriages" would be better and sound less like free love.... 4Author uses 夫婦 (“couple, husband and wife”) throughout the article--I know same-sex marriage isn’t legal in Japan yet, but the article generally assumes marriage is between a man and a woman.

P.S. @ this website...why have a page break in the middle of a section...

P.P.S. I have concerns about how superscript is actually working on my blog so if that's ugly, my apologies....

#news article #biz-journal #society #nigeru wa haji da ga yaku ni tatsu #nigehaji #seidansha #media #Entertainment #How many characters

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