#cut to me only writing the whump scenes and getting SO fucking bored with the romance

[painsandconfusion]

Petition for brainrot vamp oc to be your new icon 🤩

asdkfaskdfaksdkl RIKAH

im so glad you like her!!

...honestly that wouldnt be too different from the current one.....hmmmmmm

100 notes on this post and ill do it

[nexadarling]

Trigun Fics

Here I am compiling all my fav Trigun fics, from heart wrenching to fluffy, and everything in-between. Mostly Vashwood! This is a living document and is updated regularly ^.^

(Explicit fic recs are listed separately due to link limitations in Tumblr posts)

Organized by rating > word count > status. Any fic that features "+" after the word count is on-going/uncompleted. As they finish, I will add the final word count.

Please tag an author if I haven't! I tried to find them all, but there are a couple I couldn't/wasn't sure about

Special shoutout to the YAT and Pen Pal Discords for providing so many of these (and writing several)

Read the tags, you know how it goes! And feel free to leave your own recs as well!

Waiting for me (Waiting for you) by @mariadperiad20 - 8k; Vashwood; Not Rated;Trimax/98; Soulmate AU; The Eye of Michael took Wolfwood's soulmate mark, but they can't take his soulmate; Fuck, god, okay... wow I had so many emotions reading this?? Wolfwood's self-hatred is piloting this whole thing he has so many feelings and he thinks Vash deserves so much better than him GOD

sandgrouse by Evercovi - 4k; Vashwood; G; 98 verse I think? Could also be early Trimax; Vash's birthday is coming up and Wolfwood is stressed about getting him the perfect present; They're so stupid! They're so cute!! The author's note at the end killed me in one sentence!!!!

Polyguns Presentation Night! by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 7k; Polygun; G; Modern AU; Milly notices her partners are shy about talking about things they love, so she sets up a surprise presentation night for them

kindergarten crush by @jumpinginmuddypuddles - 12k; Vashwood; G; Modern AU; Kindergarten Teacher Vash; Wolfwood's little brother (Livio) is in Vash's class and oh no the teacher is really cute

a promise or a threat by  @beelzebby666 - >1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Super short, but an exploration of a visceral love and trust between Wolfwood and Vash; Wolfwood wouldn't stop Vash from hurting him, but Vash never would

your touch, your glance, your hand by @procrastinating-bookworm - 1k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; much needed comfort for Wolfwood, on account of the hell his wrist goes through carrying that stupid cross

Miracles and Other Blunders of Providence by @aboxthecolourofheartache - 1k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Vash is delirious after Nai cuts off his arm, and Luida tries to comfort him; whump

the secret about that boy by puphf - 1k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU- College; You ever sit in your college class, bored, and think "huh wouldn't it be funny if there was a mind reader in here?" Vash does that, except his crush is the one who can read minds; this is tragically short, but it's so cute and silly I had to add it

Marked by Dozycerberus - 1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; A short look into Wolfwood's mark from the Eye of Michael and his relation to it in different Trigun canons

hold you through the night until you smile by @fionanotjuliet - 2k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; wing grooming ❤️❤️

Never Let Me Go by Puffls ( @whimsicmimic) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Transistor AU; rewrite of the opening cut scene of the game Transistor; Vash is a singer, Wolfwood is his body guard; Wolfwood ends up in the Punisher; no I don't know how it works, yes I think it's cool as fuck; (edit: I have now played Transistor and can confidently say not only do you have to read this, you should also play Transistor for maximum emotion)

built to die here by @jes12321 - 2k; Vashwood; T; Soulmate AU; Soulmate worries show up on your skin. Vash doesn't think he deserves his soulmate

oceans to drown in by @hashtagcaneven - 2k; Stryfewood; T; Pirate AU; Captain Meryl challenges Wolfwood to a sword fight to earn a place on her ship, the most sexually charged sword fight follows; Vash is a siren in this which isn't super important to the plot but it is important to me; Kuro you have the honor of being the only Stryfewood fic on this list lol

you know i tell the truth (we are just the same) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; After the Ark, Vash and Wolfwood talk about what they've been through to become what they are. Or, you know, as much as they talk about anything; I am shaking these two and begging through tears for them to get their shit together just once

Sanctuary by @thechaoscryptid - 2k; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; T4T; Vash knows the violence that has created Wolfwood, but he also sees the care and gentleness of Nicholas; Pleeaasseeee they're so soft here, taking care of each other even though things suck I fucking love them

in the afterglow of an isolated heart by the14thmusician - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; touch-starved Vash gets emotional after an unexpected hug, Wolfwood talks him through it

the heaviness we've known by CosmicJourney ( @cosmictapestry) - 3k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Brad fixes Vash up after the events of the sandsteamer and tries to do right by his kid; I'm not gonna lie, this one hurts. It fucking hurts a lot and it doesn't get better at the end, but it's still filled with such sweetness. Just, watching someone you consider your son be Vash the Stampede is never going to be easy

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 3k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood helps Vash deal with his phantom limb pain; please god there is much emotion in this tiny little fic Vash why are you like that please just kiss the man!!!!!

Straight Edge of Intimacy by @bendycxmet - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Wolfwood gets them run out of a town, and Vash asks him to help him shave to make it up to him; The tension, the pining... the not-so-casual intimacy of shaving someone's face... I am eating this Whole

i am a diamond on the inside (just add the pressure) by @sascake - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Soulmate AU; tattoos show up on your soulmate, Wolfwood has A Lot, Vash kind of loves it

i went too far (when I was begging on my knees) by @flowercitti - 4k; Vashwood; T; reincarnation through the different Trigun versions; soulmates; this is beautifully poetic and achingly sad

walking in your landscape by @pushclouds - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Vash takes a vacation trip to a farm and meets cowboy Wolfwood

tell me why your hands are cold (show me how) by desertblooms - 4k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Sick fic; Whump for both of them honestly; Vash uses too much power at once and makes himself dangerously sick, Wolfwood is left to desperately try to keep him alive; This hurts, the way that Wolfwood needs Vash is so obvious in every one of his actions

proximity by @corvidrogue - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Touch-starved Vash has trouble accepting physical affection from anyone but Wolfwood

touch me like nobody else does (lovely) by @flowercitti - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash tries to get rid of his wings, Wolfwood grooms them for him; pretty big self harm cw for the beginning of this

Guardian Angel by @hypermoyashi - 5k; Vashwood; T; Post-Trimax; A year after the events of Trimax, Vash hears Wolfwood's voice; Let this fic be known as how to cry in less than 5k; this is very bittersweet, but it is precious and so worth a read

not to me, not if it's you by tickyicky - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood struggles to help Vash through the aftermath of being run out of a town he tried to help

but to me, the comet brings no fear (no, i gaze joyfully) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax/Post-Trimax; When a comet comes across the sky once every 50 years, it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for most people. For Vash, it is a reminder; When I tell you I cried, that I sobbed reading this I am being so fucking serious. Trai does such a wonderful job exploring grief and mourning and Vash's anger and loneliness; and it's Vashwood, but it's not really about them, it's about so much more and anyway I'm gonna go lay down and cry into a pillow thanks

Non-Threatening Touch by saturninesunset - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Touch-starved; Wolfwood loses track of where they stand with each other when they start sharing a bed to help with nightmares. Vash crosses some lines; This is so cute????? I'm screaming???? All of my ailments have been fixed pls shove this in your face immediately

i have a heart made for taking flight by corvidcaper ( @not-miss-marple) - 8k; Vashwood; T; 5+1; Creature Vash; Vash accidentally courts Wolfwood like a bird. It takes them a while to figure out; PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

to god, who i hate so much by @skittidyne - 9k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; A close call forces some feelings into the open in a way that nobody involved is ready for; God, jesus fucking christ, this one is all about the vicious co-dependency of Vashwood and it hurts and they love each other so fucking bad; maybe have some fluff prepared to read after this one

lost in the sugar rush by @pushclouds - 10k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Wolfwood falls for the cute barista; Nai and Wolfwood have coffee-based standoffs; I was giggling to myself through this whole thing

absol(utely) obsessed by @earlgay-milktea - 11k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash is president of the Pokemon society, Livio is a huge Pokemon nerd, and no one here is normal; this is pure silly, goofy fun and it made me smile so much. They're so stupid I hate them. They deserve the world

whose woods these are (i think i know) by intimatopia ( @ciaran) - 13k; Vashwood; T; Fairytale AU; Prince Wolfwood; Suspiciously magical(?) Vash; Vash runs from what he wants as per usual, Wolfwood just wants to know he'll come back

Cheap and Cheerful by AllegedlyAnnie ( @niftyanswersorryiasked) - 13k; Vashwood; T; AU but still on NML; Vash answers a help-wanted ad for an orphanage in need of a handyman, Wolfwood sees through his bullshit in every universe; this might be the most 98/Trimax characterization I've read so far. Their banter is perfect!!!

Sentido by @orcelito - 19k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash's relationship with each of his senses, as an inhuman Plant with incredibly advanced senses. Spoiler, it's not always pleasant

ghosting by @orcelito - 22k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - early 2000s; T4T; Vash owns a B&B that he's pretty sure is haunted, Milly and Meryl convince Wolfwood to exorcise the ghost for him. Wolfwood is not an exorcist; I injected this directly into my bone marrow actually; Wolfwood and Vash are so outrageously down bad for each other, I love them; This also deals beautifully with just the grieving process in general. I wanna give Vash such a huge hug

Strap the Wing to Me, Death Trap Clad Happily by Rayawastaken - 24k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; pure 100% hurt/comfort centered around Vash's wings and general eldritch horror-ness

Malediction by @revenantpoet - 28k; Vashwood; T; Mythology AU; Sun-god Wolfwood; Moon-god Vash; Wolfwood finds a poor creature locked away, and something about it tugs at him; Hell yeah sun god Wolfwood!!!! He's so warm and caring he gets to be the sun!!!!; This is genuinely so beautiful and the world building is just!!! So lovely!!!!

ritornello by allandnothing - 29k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Demi Vash; Seeing Vash renders Wolfwood entirely useless, Livio makes fun of him for it (that's it that's the fic); the tone and humor of this had me on the fucking floor. Might be a new comfort fic

Calendula by @a-bi-disaster-writing - 32k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash works at the greenhouse, Wolfwood works at the college daycare. He takes a tiny Rollo to visit the greenhouse and promptly falls in love

with you, the sun rises slowly by @beesinspades - 33k; Vashwood; T;  Modern AU; Wolfwood's cute neighbor loses his apartment to a fire, so he spontaneously offers to let him stay at his place while the damage is repaired; Asexual Vash!! I really like how the author handled Vash's sexuality here, and especially Wolfwood's reaction to it. It felt real (Beelio I love your ace Vash tysm)

an odious damned lie by @riverenne - 47k; Gen with a heavy splash of Vashwood at the end; T; His Dark Materials/The Golden Compass x Trigun AU; Alternate Timeline AU; Takes place on NML, roughly in the (altered) Tristamp timeline; Good GOD I cannot possibly recommend this enough! The writing is beautiful, the daemons are perfect, and the exploration into the characters and their relationships is so!!! Amazing!!! Read it, just read it, please

Gunsmoke - A Coffee Shop/Mafia AU by evil_moo_bunny - 13k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash works at a coffee shop, Wolfwood works for redacted, Meryl and Milly work also redacted at the coffee shop with Vash, everyone has secrets, and Milly is a wonderful matchmaker; This is a series, but I didn't want to link both works separately

if you're looking for a sign: this is it by @elemmacil - 33k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has taken over sign duty for Saint Michael’s. Across the street, Vash Saverem is giving out free hugs."; This is so freaking funny and cute and I am frothing at the mouth for more of it

the monster in the ruins of ship five by @beesinspades - 48k+; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; Creature Vash; After Julai, Wolfwood searches for Vash. What he finds is a creature in the shell of a spaceship; VASH GETS THE ZOOMIES; this version of creature Vash is so delightful, Wolfwood's inner monologue is perfect, Sheryl and Lina are The Best

whispers (of the damned) by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 2k; Vashwood; M; this is just... a Moment of the two of them being so tired but so in love and glad to have not lost each other yet again

all the blood that you still owe by @procrastinating-bookworm - 4k; implied Mashwood; M; Tristamp; Tristamp Wolfwood takes too many vials, and Vash and Meryl try their best to take care of him

Like Petals in a Storm by @maadskittlez29 - 5k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse Hanahaki AU (w/ a happy ending of course); When Wolfwood realizes what's happening to him, he resolves to hide it from Vash as long as he can, then leave when things are too bad to handle. Of course, things don't exactly go to plan

if only the rain were gasoline by halfdemonvash - 5k; Vashwood; M; Wolfwood takes a bullet for Vash. Emotions ensue; god I have so many of this author's stuff on my lists lol if anyone knows their tumblr pls tell me so I can tag them? I clearly love their writing

you can spend all your love making time by Anonymous- 7k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax fix it (this is my new canon)

you are my religion and my religion is you by reddiextozier - 7k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Vash confesses his thoughts to his priest; I do think this should really be E, but regardless it's a really fun read. This fandom has given me a penchant for vw fucking in confessionals whoops

wild horses couldn't drag me away by littleghost ( @ghostlandtoo) - 8k; Vashwood; M; Wild West AU; Wolfwood's POV of a kind heart to haunt (E)

white pony by tagteamme ( @phaltu) - 10k; Vashwood; M; Vampires and Demons AU (but still on NML); Vash comes into town searching for a "creature of the night," Wolfwood is the crux of the community as the charismatic priest

Something Fruity, Something Sweet by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 11k; Vashwood; M (I think it should be E tho); Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash is a Starbucks customer with an insane sweet tooth, Wolfwood is just fucking in love with him

Someday out of the Blue by @tenshinokorin - 11k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax/reincarnation AU; 100 years after the end of Trimax, Vash runs into a man with the same name and face as his Wolfwood; I put off reading this for so long cause I knew it would make me sad. And it did! But it was also so cute and sweet and warm. And also thinking about it makes me want to cry, but read it anyway pls

his keeper by princecl0ud - 11k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; Vash disappears after a skirmish and is gone so long that the gang starts to give up, but Wolfwood can't let him go so easily; Vash had no clue anyone would be so dedicated in looking for him

Gun to a Bar Fight by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 11k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; VW get caught up in a bar fight and kind of maybe feel stupidly drawn to each other; shaking these dumbasses they're so cute I hope they get married

Shoot the Moon by @hypermoyashi - 14k; Vashwood; M; Canonverse; Wolfwood Whump; Wolfwood has to make some not very safe decisions to break Vash out of his creature/Plant state; "the existential horror of being in love with a nuclear reactor" is my new favorite tag; Vash gets so upset about hurting Wolfwood and Wolfwood is so intentional with his love in this, I adore them

Black is the Color by @tenshinokorin - 15k; Vashwood; M; Post Trimax fix-it/resurrection; Three years after the events of Trimax, Vash realizes his hair is coming back in blond. He also realizes he's not as alone as he thought he was; I bought a poster of fanart for this, is how much I love it. In case you were wondering

I Believe in the Kingdom Come by @tenshinokorin - 17k; Vashwood; M; Sequel to Someday out of the Blue; Post Trimax fix-it/reincarnation AU; Vash and Nick are still together, though they both have their secrets. Wolfwood is closer than anyone realizes

i know i'm known for giving love away by molotovhappyhour - 18k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax; Wolfwood stays at a haunted house in the middle of the desert to try to get rid of the spook; The spook is not, in fact, very good at being spooky... and something feels familiar about it, he just can't quite recall why....; This made me wanna cry for so many good reasons, holy shit! And such good story telling UGH

i sought him whom my soul loved by molotovhappyhour - 20k; Vashwood; M; Vash doesn't age, but Wolfwood is reborn after every life and at every time is hit with the full force of his past lives. He always seeks out Vash; crying in the club about this one! Fellas is it gay to search the planet time and time again in every lifetime for the same person? To wait every time to be found, never knowing when that time may be? I hate it here

Figure Me Out by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 33k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; 5+1 of Vash being inhuman and Wolfwood showing him he doesn't care; really check the tags on this one

Entertaining Strangers by @deludedfantasy - 41k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Fiber Artist Vash; Guardian Angel Wolfwood; Wolfwood is sent to the human world to find a child to protect, but instead he meets Vash, who lets him stay in his home and takes care of him; So nice to see angel Wolfwood, and I really loved how it was done; Seeing Wolfwood's care for those around him is precious

Kill Me With A Smile by @ShyKokiriMouse - 43k; Vashwood; M (treat this like it's E, it does contain explicit sex scenes); Tattoo Artist Vash; Florist Wolfwood; Spanish speaking Wolfwood; Wolfwood works next to a tattoo shop and is intrigued and confused by Vash, who always seems to cover his tattoos; First of all I am a tattoo artist Vash truther, thank you very much; This is my favorite VW flavor!!! Both pining, Wolfwood so hopelessly gone he can't stop himself, and Vash incredibly emotionally constipated

Open Me Up by WateredMyCrops (@what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 47k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; part 2 of Figure Me Out, but this time Wolfwood gets Known; for real, check the damn tags

Fatherhood Looks Good on You by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 62k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Roommates; Social worker Wolfwood; Vash comes to Wolfwood with a desperate plea to help him adopt two children, and Wolfwood has never been good at saying no to the man he's in love with

Aces in Space by @hypermoyashi - 70k; Vashwood; M; Sci-fi AU; Royalty AU; Prince Vash; Childhood friends; Demi Vash; Greyace Wolfwood; Wolfwood has long accepted that prince Vash is dead, no matter how hard Knives tries to find him. But when a stowaway on his ship looks very much like Vash might at this age... it gives him an idea; Listen I love Moya's writing, their world-building, Meryl and Milly's whole existence!!! And the budding relationship for Vashwood is so, so precious

Make Light Work by @hypermoyashi - 77k; Vashwood; M; Tristamp; T4T; Vash wakes up with severely impaired vision and has to learn to adapt; The description of this as Vash navigates his world with barely any ability to see is honestly just so fucking good

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by halfdemonvash - 29k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Neighbors; Wolfwood takes in a cat only to find her rightful owner lives literally across the hall from him. He gets too attached to both of them very quickly; cat dad Wolfwooooooddd!!!! And him and Vash are so cute and Kuroneko is a little shit I love her so much

Cryptobotany - The Study of Plants That May or May Not Exist by @puffinpastry - 61k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Appalachia; Creature Vash; Wolfwood and Livio find a creature? person? that has crash landed in the forest and can't bring themselves to leave him there. Especially not with evidence of a harsh past on his body; okay okay LOOK I know I'm so biased about creature Vash but this is so good okay the world building and Vash's characterization and KNIVES!! CHRONIC ILLNESS WOLFWOOD

The Courtship of Nicholas D Wolfwood by @screamingshark - 107k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Mermaid AU where Plants are mermaids and working with humans in research facilities; Wolfwood is a new security guard at the institute where Vash and Nai reside. Vash decides to court the hell out of him (no one thinks to inform Wolfwood that that's what's happening)

In the Next Life by @orcelito - 109k+; Vashwood; M; post-Trimax time travel (fix it?) AU; Vash goes back in time to try to make things better, but he still carries the weight of what he went through

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi - 161k+; Vashwood; M; Demon Slayer AU; Demon Vash; Meryl meets Vash, who challenges her beliefs about demons

come and see by @avoidingavoidance - 427k+; Vashwood; M; Post-Tristamp S1; Canon Divergence; After July, Wolfwood struggles to find his place in the world, but some things are too precious to give up on; I am screaming and crying and aggressively rattling the bars of my enclosure; Please for the love of Vashwood read this; the yearning, the angst, the fucking writing, all of it is so perfect I cannot give enough praise

if you scrolled this far down, you're so fucking gay, i love you

[ilkkawhat]

All the numbers. (If not all then pick and choose a handful to answer).

lol you’re really going for it anon, huh?? 😂 bless your heart. I’ll do all of them and then idk. if anybody wants to send any again, I’m sure I can have a different answer

(I did just answer 7 & 22 so I’ll leave those out. rest below the cut)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I guess if you count all of my active WIPs that have been sitting dormant for months or years, there’s those since I like. I know what I’m doing in pretty much all of them, just as I know what I’m doing in some of my unpublished WIPs, but I think I just need to be in a certain mood/energy to do certain ones (ie, Agony esp is a very heavy fic so I gotta be able to Deal with that)

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

I deleted those 😂😂😂 but some of my reeeeeealllllly old stuff is still out there and I cringe thinking about that and though I could easily delete those too, I’m keeping them just since the harddrive that has the docs for it is corrupted lol

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Just all over the place these days tbh. Even chapter to chapter it’ll change, I’ll write snippets in future chapters--and I’m talking like three or four chapters ahead--just to get it out there. But then there’s other days where I’ll sit and just write and not stop.

4) favorite character you’ve written

Nick Stokes, of course 💜💜💜

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Any of the Macgyver characters outside of Jack. Cause though I’ll claim not to all the time, I do know that I know the CSI characters (though I’m surprised I’m able to write in their POVs outside of Nick.) I grew up with them. I have a bond with them. The mac characters? I’ve only known for like. two years now and not even that well anymore since I’ve stopped watching the show. 

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Expanding on details. Almost every fic I write, I’ll read it again later and be like “ah shit I should have run with this idea...” but I guess that’s how I can do a sequel/missing scene

8) favorite genre to write

hurt/comfort (emphasis on the hurt, really I mean we’re talking like borderline horror)

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

See I haven’t really honed in on any one particular thing that inspires me to write. It comes out of nowhere, and the following list of things doesn’t like, always work. When I’m listening to a song. When I’m driving in the car. When I’m watching something unrelated to the source material (totes got some inspiring vibes watching Falcon and The Winter Soldier yesterday tbh lmao) When I dream. When I go on a walk. When people send me asks and I just go the fuck off and suddenly ten chapters later I’m writing a fic that they probably didn’t even want (coughSpecimenStokescough)

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I think the last couple times I’ve like, really written it’s been in silence. Definitely alone. Don’t got people to write around, really lmao (unless you count my parents being in other rooms with obnoxiously loud televisions and tablets)

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

All of it. And I’m sure it’ll keep improving.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Dialogue. I don’t know how people talk 😂

13) your strengths as an author

Detail, description, and I also like to think--emotion? but idk. It’s hard for me to assess my strength tbh

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Oh YES! At least for the longer WIPs like Last Breath or Agony. And listen to it on a loop when I’m trying to brainstorm or write if I want to write with music on. I’ve been starting to link the playlists when I’m doing with the fic (which is not many so far)

(I think Hellbound is the only one-shot I made a playlist for that I didn’t share)

15) why did you start writing?

I honestly can’t remember, cause I think I’ve been writing stories (fan fiction or not) ever since I was in middle school?? Maybe even elementary? But I do feel like I had gotten more encouragement for it than drawing from the few people in my life that did actively cheer me on, and there’s just something about writing that is so...fulfilling? Esp since I can’t like. Just manifest the images or make the “movie” in my head, at least I can write them down and hopefully convey what I see/feel in my mind through words.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

All my neglected OCs lmao. I did and I guess on some level still do want to make an original series.

In a chilling way Veronica also haunts me cause I realize how much of that like, darkness in myself I put in her. 

And Nick, well, he’s just always on my mind.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Just fucking go for it! Don’t give a shit if anybody will read it or not. Take your time, flesh out those details. Describe what you see, what they see, what they feel. 

If you think you’re going too far...you’re not. 

keep going

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

I mean any fan fiction I read in the past has probably influenced me on some level. I know that when I came back to CSI in 2018, reading all of kristen999′s nick whump def encouraged me cause I was like “oh...there’s others like me who like to see him hurt!?!?” and I do think that maybe sometimes after I read a fic, I might like. Try to incorporate those styles I see. The way words are described, sentences constructed. Not like, copy of course but I feel like a long time ago my writing wasn’t really idk, novel-like? very short, almost read like a script whereas now, since I’ve seen the way people write their stories (some novel length stories, too), I flesh mine out a lot more.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I don’t 😂 Thinking of my bigger projects like Agony, I do just kind make up some of it as I go with a rough outline although sometimes it is a bit more detailed--like First Flight actually has a super detailed outline but I know that once I start writing, something might come up, some twist I didn’t think of before--or even one that somebody suggests to me, but idk I feel like I do have a way of tying everything together regardless? Cause especially with those bigger WIPs I will try to go back and re-read if something seems familiar or if I’ve forgotten a detail, or if I’m planning on diving back into it after a long break from it. 

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

Depends. I feel more accomplished with the long sit down sessions so I target that, but lately it’s been little spurts with maybe one big dump at the end of the week.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

Mostly cringe, but there are times I’m like “holy shit this is really good???” 

like I remember recently I re-read Agony and loved it, when I wanted to delete it maybe like. a week before that. I think it honestly depends on my frame of mind, and why I’m going back to read the fic? Cause I’ve had times where I’m like “wait what was this one?” and then I read it and laugh at how bad it is, but then other times where I’m like, “I wanna read that one fic I did...” and then I do and it makes me happy.

But, I will always kinda criticize at the same time--”aw, I could do this better, I could have expanded on this,” etc

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

My life is suuuuuuper boring so. not really lmao. One of my earliest CSI fics that actually created what I consider to be my number one OC (she’d be the lead in that original series I mentioned earlier) came out of me sitting and staring into a campfire lmao. 

also there was this teacher I had (one of those good IRL supports) that told me a story of something that happened to her (or was it her daughter?) and I turned it into a story (back in my teen days) so. I guess there are somethings. 

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Expert? No. But I will do numerous google searches to try and figure some stuff out and get lost in a rabbit hole of “research” for a while and hope that when I do write it, it comes off as I know what I’m doing when really, I do not lol.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

haven’t really written much in this past week, and certainly nothing to be proud of, but this line hit me like a ton of bricks for Specimen Stokes and I’m in love with it:

“Because, my dear specimen, I wanted to see if you loved the danger...or if you loved me.”

[searchingforstarss]

irondad prompt: accidental poisoning, peter whump? pleeease? love your writing! hope you enjoy your time away!

hi lovely anon!! this took me a little longer to do because it kind of got away from me and turned out a lot longer than i was thinking! i hope you like it because it’s not as whumpy as i originally intended but as soon as i saw accidental poisoning i couldn’t get this idea out of my head so here you go. i hope you enjoy :)) x

---

Morgan’s gleeful yells are the first thing Peter’s greeted to when he arrives at the lake house on a Friday afternoon.

“Peter’s here! Peter’s here! I can hear him!”

The six-year-old barrels through the living room and out onto the front porch, excitement practically radiating off her in waves.

No matter how many times they try to explain to her that it simply isn’t feasible for Peter to stay with them any more than two nights a week because he has school in the city, she whines about how long he’s been away whenever he arrives, without fail. Today is no different.

“You’re not allowed to stay away for that long anymore, I miss you too much,” she declares. “Daddy can’t do the right voices when he reads Harry Potter to me either. You’re wayy better.”

Petter grins broadly down at her, about to open his mouth to greet her properly, ask about her week at school and whether she learnt how to do fraction multiplication like she had excitedly told him that she was going to during their Wednesday night phone call. He can’t even get a word in edgeways though because before he can, Morgan is babbling on again in her same gleeful tone that Peter adores.

“I have a surprise for you!” she announces proudly, tugging him up the creaky porch steps with her smaller hand tucked inside his.

“Whoa, that’s cool. What is it?” Peter asks. He tries to hide the apprehension from his tone, because Morgan’s surprises always swing one of two ways.

He’ll either end up trying to pretend he isn’t choking up when she presents him with a hand drawn-picture and note or craft project that she made at school during their art hour. Or, he’ll end up as a victim to one of her latest ideas, experiments and schemes. Last week it was her determination to teach Peter how to roller-skate on the cul-de-sac a few blocks over, which ended in Morgan clumsily pressing an excess number of band-aids onto his scraped knees. The month before he ended up as a human canvas to entertain her desire to learn how to face paint (that was all-around just as much of a disaster as it sounds like it would be).

“You can’t know what it is, silly!” Morgan sing-songs, “you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Silly me, of course,” Peter deadpans, but he’s ignored as she tugs him through to the kitchen as soon as he’s dumped his backpack on the couch.

“Surprise!” she exclaims as soon as they’re both in the room. She guestures excitedly towards a few slightly sad looking lumps of something drenched in icing and severed onto sticks. There are sprinkles as well, which look like they might have been a nice touch to cheer the entire thing up, had the majority of them not ended up scattered around the surrounding bench space.

“Daddy and I made cookie pops! Well, I made them, he just helped me use the big scary whisk-y thingy. They’re for Katie’s birthday party tomorrow because we all have to bring something yummy to eat, and Daddy wanted to do regular cookies but I told him that was boring. So we made these instead!”

“They look great, well done you guys,” Peter praises. Secretly, he’s almost certain that Tony was onto something with his suggestion. Cookies would have definitely been the safer option.

“I want you to try one! I saved the first one for you because I’m the best sister in the whole wide world.”

Peter eyes the pink ball of cookie dough being waved in his face dubiously, but Morgan’s creations often look worse than they actually are so he bites the bullet and accepts the treat that she’s thrusting towards him.

He takes a bite, partly because he’s being watched expectantly by large brown eyes and partly because he’s absolutely starving. He’s had a long day. Decathlon practice in the morning, AP classes back to back all afternoon and then the drive up here. Plus, he really wasn’t planning on Spider-Manning today, but there was a gas station robbery on the side of Interstate 87 that he pulled over to break up on his way because the man was threatening the poor guy behind the counter with a gun for a raspberry slushie, a hot dog and two packets of cigarettes and Peter had to intervene because that was just stupid on so, so many levels.

The shopkeeper gave him a free hot dog in return which he gladly scarfed down before he disappeared back out to his car, but that’s all he’s eaten since lunch. So as he chews Morgan’s baked concoction, he figures that the cookie dough is crumbly, sure, and maybe they went a little heavy with the icing sugar in the icing but Peter is so hungry that he thinks anything would probably taste good to him at this point.

Footsteps thud down the stairs, and Peter hears Tony’s voice before he sees him.

“Morgan, I swear if you’re force-feeding Peter. Your dear old brother doesn’t want any of our atrocious attempt at baking-“

Tony rounds the corner, eyes falling on Peter, mouth full of icing and cookie dough.

“Oh, I’m too late. Great.”

“Hey, Tony.”

“Hiya, Pete. Enjoying your snack?”

Peter carries on chewing on the food his mouth. “Mhmm. Definitely. Good job you guys.”

Tony shakes his head. “Nuh-uh, not a good job, not at all. I just got off the phone with Pepper, turns out you actually have to partially bake the cookie dough first. It honestly just seems like a lot of extra work if you ask me, but she’s the boss.”

“You’re starting again?” Peter asks.

“Yep, and since you’re here you can actually make yourself useful,” Tony snarks but there’s a fond smile on his face. Peter nods willingly. “Don’t just stand there then, kid. Grab the flour from the cupboard would you?”

Peter grins and turns to grab the flour like Tony requested. He doesn’t even have to think about it anymore, he knows exactly which shelf to reach for with the same sort of instinct that he has in his and May’s apartment.

(Even with all three of their hands on deck, the second round of cookie pops only end up looking mildly more appetizing than the first, but at least all of Morgan’s tiny friends won’t have uncooked, crumbly cookie dough forced on them so Tony claims it as a win - he’s never had the patience to deal with other kids’ whining parents anyway.)

---

Peter sleeps in the next morning, and the house is silent when he wakes. The first thing he notices is the way he’s shivering, even in the balmy morning sun streaming through his windows. There’s nausea as well, constantly threatening to make its way up his throat as it sits at the bottom of his stomach, churning and rolling uncomfortably,

The second thing he notices is a note sitting on his bedside table as he fumbles out one arm to grab his phone and check the time. Peter recognises Tony’s scrawl immediately.

Morning, sleepyhead. Gone to drop Morgan off to her party. Be home soon. T

He’s content to lie there for a while and wallow in his own misery and how dreadful he feels while he’s all alone in the house until his stomach lurches violently and he’s hauling himself out of bed, sweaty covers pooling around his feet. The room around him is spinning, but the singular thought occupying his hazy mind is get to the bathroom, Parker. Just make it to the damn bathroom.

He does, even though his legs are shaky underneath him, and he just manages to stumble through the open doorway of the bathroom and drop to his knees in front of the toilet. He doesn’t even register the pain that shoots through his knees and up his legs as he slams into the tile.

A charming mix of gas station hot dog, Morgan and Tony’s tragic attempt at a cookie pop and the lasagna Tony made for dinner last night ends up swimming at the bottom of the toilet bowl.

Gross.

“Peter?”

That’s his name. It sounds like it’s coming from somewhere down near his bedroom. He tries to call back, but acid coats his raw throat and he can’t seem to get the words out. He retches again, before dipping forward to lean up against the ceramic of the toilet.

“Peter, oh, there you are-” Tony begins, but he drops off as Peter sees him appear around the corner of the bathroom door and take in the scene in front of him. “What’s going on?”

He blinks up at Tony through cloudy eyes.

“Think ‘m sick.”

“I thought you couldn’t even get sick?”

Peter tries to give a coherent answer, he thinks, but all that comes out is a whine. He looks up at Tony, eyes pleading. He’s not sure what he’s asking for, really. He just wants someone to make it better.

“Okay, okay, got it. That’s not really the point right now.”

Peter isn’t quite sure what he’s expecting as Tony hovers around the doorway. He wants comfort, he wants Tony, but he doesn’t dare to move far from the toilet.

“Oh, shit. Kid, you actually ate that garbage attempt of baking that Morgan gave you yesterday, didn’t you? There was raw egg in that.”

Peter just nods feebly, not entirely listening. His head is head still resting on the toilet seat. He doesn’t have the energy to lift it.

“I hate to break it to you, kid, but maybe Spidey is just as susceptible to food poisoning as the rest of us.”

Peter’s certainly listening now, his glazed eyes shooting open. Weak displeasure simmers within them.

“You poisoned me?”

Morgan’s surprise has now definitely landed on the bad side this week, leaning towards absolutely-fucking-awful.

“Technically, Morgan poisoned you. I just operated all the heavy machinery,” Tony says. Peter glares at him, but it’s so pathetic that Tony’s own stomach clenches in sympathy.

“You’re the adult-” Peter points out, feeble indignation in his voice before he cuts himself off with another round of heaving.

“Oh, Pete,” Tony sighs, stepping further into the bathroom at the sight. He lowers himself to the floor right next to Peter. A warm hand finds his back, rubbing in slow circles right at the base. A fraction of the tension leaves Peter’s body.

“You’re alright, bud” Tony soothes. His voice is gentle and calming, and Peter lets it wash over him. He’s always loved just listening to Tony talk. “You’ll feel so much better once it’s all back up.”

Peter finds that hard to believe because caught right in the throes of pain, shivering and feeling like a total and utter mess, he struggles to remember a time when he wasn’t wholly consumed by Morgan’s attempt to poison him.

There’s nothing left for Peter to bring up eventually, and he’s left gasping for air.

“Think you’re done?”

Peter nods, stomach still clenching painfully. He shoves himself away from the toilet, legs giving way underneath him as he slumps into a pile of shaky, sweaty limbs against the bathroom counter. This doesn’t seem to faze Tony though, and Peter watches through bleary eyes as he goes into Dad Mode. It all fades in and out in front of him, but he registers the corners of his mouth being wipes gently with a warm washcloth, the hair being brushes back from his sweaty forehead, a cool glass of water being tipped down his throat.

It was because of moments like this that after the snap, it took Peter a while to correlate his Tony with Morgan’s Tony.

His Tony had only ever cared from afar and he usually shied away from physical affection and comfort unless either of them were on their deathbeds. They always loved each other, but it was sort of a given. An undeniable fact with little physical expression. Now though? Morgan’s Tony tucks her into bed at night and smoothes kisses into her hair and lets her curl into his lap during lazy evenings on the couch with absolutely no reservations or qualms. He tells her he loves her at least five times a day.

It then took Peter even longer to realise that Morgan’s Tony wasn’t exclusively hers. He’s just Tony, softened around the edges a little with parenthood and settling down, but he’s Peter’s as well, still.

That’s evident in the way that instead of leaving Peter to his own devices once he’s taken care of him and cleaned up his mess, Tony just leads him gently downstairs instead, a warm solid hand wrapped around his forearm to make sure he doesn’t stumble forward and end up on his face.

Tony lies him down on the couch, before taking a seat himself. He lets Peter pillow himself against him, head buried into the soft cotton of his t-shirt. Tony’s hands trail along their time-worn path in Peter’s hair, the action almost second nature.

“I’m never eating anything you make me ever again, I swear,” Peter mumbles into Tony’s chest. His words are quiet, scraping against the rawness of his throat but Tony hears him loud and clear. He chuckles.

“Fair enough, buddy.”

---

Peter’s nap is only interrupted when Morgan bursts into the room sometime in the afternoon. He blinks slowly from where he’s resting against Tony’s chest, head tucked up against his collarbone.

Morgan has a goody bag clutched in her grip and a few flyaway pink streamers caught in her hair. She beelines for the couch.

“Petey, Mommy said that I need to apologise for poisoning you!”

Peter feels a deep rumble in Tony’s chest as he attempts to stifle a laugh. He can’t quite muster up the energy (and he’s far too comfortable anyway) to get up from his position resting against Tony to hug Morgan, so he just gives her the warmest smile he can manage.

“It’s okay, bug, I know you didn’t mean to. I forgive you.”

She beams up at him. “There was one cookie pop left so I saved it for you, see?” she says, rattling her goody bag around, which Peter presumes contains the cursed treat. “They’re really good, I promise!”

Peter’s stomach churns again at the thought.

“That’s really nice of you, Mo, but I think I might give cookies a miss for a while.”

[killian-whump]

I know you weren't a big fan of s6, so if you could rewrite it, what would you change?

Everything.

No, I’m kidding. I mean, there were some things I liked about S6 and would definitely keep around. I thought the S5 finale set everything up for S6 really well. I was excited for the Land of Untold Stories, and all the tales that were hinted at in the scenes that took place there, and I love Regina, especially when she’s the Evil Queen in flashbacks, so I was all amped up for the dual Reginas storyline. S6 looked great from that point.

Then it all went to shit.

The Evil Queen thing was SO over-the-top, and Lana was playing her in a campy and ridiculous way that didn’t appeal to me at all. In hindsight, I can see that they were trying to keep her “redeemable” and play up the whole “still Regina, even as the Evil Queen” thing for the storyline resolution, so they needed her to only be quasi-evil instead of evil-evil. Okay, fair enough, but it was still super disappointing and even downright cringey, and I will never forgive them for turning one of my favorite parts of the show into a circus act. Honestly, if they weren’t going to do the Evil Queen justice, I would’ve rather they hadn’t gone anywhere near her. So that would be change #1: Drop the camp or drop that storyline entirely.

And they could’ve dropped it entirely. That exciting land of Untold Stories they teased us with in the S5 finale was... a let-down. Yes, we got Jekyll and Hyde and Captain Nemo... but the Aladdin stuff they gave us was more fairytale than literary classic, and wtf was up with the ridiculous one-off shit like the Count of Monte Cristo? There were SO many classics they could’ve visited, and greater detail they could’ve gone into with the ones they DID visit... and the Land of Untold Stories was so COOL looking, with its wild mix of architecture and dirigibles and steampunk style. WHY would you create such a fantastical and fun-looking world, and then take everyone from that world and put them in OUR boring ass world? S6 should’ve taken place IN the Land of Untold Stories and brought us a lot more fresh takes and characters from that land than the pittance we got. AND MORE STEAMPUNK, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

I’m also still angry that they teased me with an asylum plot in the press before the S5 finale, then gave me a taste of it IN that finale... and then ripped it from my greedy, hot little hands. They didn’t even put Killian Jones in a straitjacket while they were there. What the fuck, guys? Who does that? That man was born to be put into a straitjacket for my enjoyment and you had him RIGHT THERE and even put someone in a straitjacket, but it was the wrong fucking someone. Had S6 stayed in the Land of Untold Stories, we could’ve had untold opportunities for more asylum whump, and they could’ve put Killian in a straitjacket and made all of my dreams come true.

And why the SHIT did they actually kill off Hyde when Sam Witwer was the best thing to happen to that show since Colin, himself?! I mean, yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde storyline was probably planned from the get-go to end in their deaths, but when you see what a complete GEM Hyde is, what with his penchant for the Evil Queen’s cooking and his ridiculously awesome facial expressions and his dashing dapper-do and Sam Fucking Witwer’s everything... change whatever the fuck you need to change to somehow keep this man on your show. And then they even went and full-on made this man redeemable and gave him a heartbreaking backstory right before they killed him. Like, fuck you? Seriously. Fuck everyone for that one. I will never forgive them for killing Hyde.

Okay. Moving on from my general complaints, we come to my Killian-specific complaints. And there’s a lot of them. S6 did that character SO wrong SO many times... I really just want to take it out back and beat the shit out of it.

For starters, his relationships were ALL thrown in the shitcan. It was like S3-S5 just never happened and he was right back to Square One with everyone, being that dastardly pirate that can’t be trusted and that no one could ever care about. People who clearly cared enough about him to go to the fucking Underworld for him in S5 were suddenly calling him a pirate like it’s a foul word, and blatantly telling him he’s not good enough to be part of the family. Yeah, I get it, they wanted some dramatic negativity before showing these characters fully accepting and embracing him as part of their clan... but you know what makes for really awesome storytelling? Realistic relationships that grow and evolve over the course of several seasons - which was what they fucking HAD before they threw them all in the shitter for fake “developments” that had already happened. And FYI, Henry was actually nastier to Killian in the beginning of 6x06 than he was during the Spell of Shattered Sight. Like, did no one at the writers table even pause in their pursuit of drama long enough to realize that if Henry really ever had that much animosity towards Killian, it would’ve come out THEN? Or, you know, at any point in the course of the last four seasons?!

And it goes without saying: I would never, ever, ever have had Killian be the murderer of David’s father. Or, at the very least, I would’ve never had the murder go down the way they showed it in the flashback. Have it be an accidental death. Have it be a pirate duel. Have it be anything but cold-blooded murder. First of all, it’s just not believable that David could forgive him so easily and so quickly for depriving him of a loving father for no fucking reason. Secondly, they spend four whole seasons showing us flashbacks of a pirate with a deeply-buried heart of gold, who kept wanting to make the right decisions... but ended up making the wrong ones time and time again. They never showed us, before this ridiculously cheap dramatic ploy, a man who willfully murdered people just for shits and giggles. Finally, Killian Jones is a motherfucking pirate. Stealing from the King is par for the course, but the whole “Dead men tell no tales” thing makes ZERO sense. Pirates thrive by striking FEAR into the hearts of their enemies, and you don’t get a solid reputation for being a cut-throat villain to be feared by literally killing off all the witnesses to your evil deeds. Pirates are like, one step short of going “BEHOLD! It is I, Captain PirateGuy, here to steal your gold and seduce your ladies! Be sure to tell all your friends and neighbors about this when we’re through.” So... yeah. Way to throw a completely nonsensical spanner in the works that makes literally NO sense and flies in the face of everything else you’ve said and shown about this character in the past. It’s shit, and I refuse to accept it, and they should be sorry for its very existence.

And then there’s Captain Swan. *sigh* This relationship fell prey to the same shit that ALL of Killian’s relationships were destroyed by throughout S6. Only it was much, much worse here - because this is supposed to be (and has been!) his closest, most important relationship. And yet... We see Emma blow him off and then lie right to his face in the very first episode. Then she lies some more in each of the next few episodes, and when her lies are finally revealed, she doesn’t even seem to give a shit about the trust she’s betrayed or the hurt she’s caused. And the fact that they even filmed that deleted scene with Emma giving Killian a flippant “I said I was sorry...” just shows how fucking tone-deaf those writers were. If someone lies to your face, repeatedly, over something of life-or-death importance and for a lengthy period of time, then basically gives you a “I said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?” twenty minutes after their lies are revealed, because you’re still sore about it... get the FUCK out of that relationship immediately, because that person does not give two shits about you.

Things only got worse when she snooped through his belongings, pushed him to propose on her terms and when she wanted him to (despite the fact that he was clearly drunk and troubled by something at the time), called off their engagement when he dared to keep something from her (despite the fact that she’d just recently spent weeks lying right to his face), believed that he would just abandon her completely despite everything they’d been through, lied to him again right before their wedding in the course of once again shutting him out and not letting him help her with something (even though that’s literally the EXACT reason she ended their engagement when HE was the one doing it)... I mean, come on. That is NOT the CS I signed up for, and I refuse to accept it as the CS that is my OTP.

Hence, the Dark Emma explanation was born in my head. And when it comes to changes to S6... I’d either completely re-write about 90% of S6′s CS storylines... or make my Dark Emma theory a reality. The theory is as such: Since Emma did not die in 5x11, but merely had her Darkness sucked into Killian/Excaliber before HE died... some residual darkness remained in her. Nothing much was seen/noticed in 5b (though Killian DID make a comment about her not sleeping...) because she was too focused on saving Killian. However, once she was back home, safe and sound with her man, the Darkness started showing itself. She lied to those she loved. She made uncharacteristically selfish decisions. She hurt people. She eschewed all she’d learned about letting others in and getting help from the people who love her. And it wasn’t until her literal and figurative death at Gideon’s hands that the Darkness was truly eradicated from her - and only THEN could she truly find her Happy Beginning.

Oh, and by the way, I also hate the writers for even HAVING Killian walk to the docks with a packed bag and even consider boarding the Nautilus and leaving town. No. Just... no. Having him even CONSIDER doing that is even worse than having Emma believe he WOULD do such a thing to her. It’s like they got the S6 writers out of a Cracker Jack box and not a single one had ever watched an episode of the show or seen this couple before in their lives. Their whole fucking SCHTICK is that he would NEVER abandon her, that he would follow her to the end of the world or time itself... and that, despite a lifetime of fears and abandonment issues, Emma Swan has come to TRUST that he would never leave her. YOU CAN’T JUST GO “LOL, THAT’S NOT TRUE NOW” AND EXPECT ME TO ACCEPT THAT SHIT. No. Fuck you. Fuck your entire season AND the boat it rode in on. Just... fuck, man. FUCK.

The wedding was nice, though. I loved the musical aspect. Everyone did great in it. It was a truly lovely episode in almost every way, although I didn’t care for Emma’s dress and especially not her hairdo. It was too stark, too severe, but somehow too fancy at the same time... and it seemed more Jen Morrison than Emma Swan to me. Other than that, though, it was lovely. Everyone looked lovely. The singing was lovely. The vows were lovely. Shame about the whirling black vortex of doom, though.

Speaking of things that suck, I would also like to set that fucking doily shirt that Emma wore in 6x17 on fucking fire. And she actually DARED to rescue my man in that atrocity. Did she not realize I would need to SEE that shitty article of clothing every time I admired that dashing rescue? Did no one think of the KWs of the world who would suffer from this fashion faux pas?!?!

Oh, and I hate that they literally had Emma burn Killian’s image in the curse and not have any kind of recollection. I mean, I get that they wanted Henry to make her believe, and the way they got him to do that was cute, but did they HAVE to show Emma looking at Killian’s picture burning in the fire and being like, “Eh, he might ring a bell, but not enough to bother thinking about for more than a second or anything.” I could’ve done without that scene, honestly, because it just comes off like, “This love isn’t strong enough to break through this curse!” and EXCUSE ME, but where’s the fucking fun in that? Haven’t any of those bitches ever read a goddamn fanfic?! LOVE BREAKING THROUGH A CURSE IS ALL THE RAGE, GUYS. That’s the kind of shit we like to read and see in our OTPs. What’s with this “Eh, let that handsome fucker on page 172 burn” shit??

Oh, but that scene where Fiona serves the charred remains of the book to Henry on a platter would need to stay. That shit was stone cold savage. That bitch came to play, and that scene straight up told you that she was NOT going to be sitting at anyone’s Thanksgiving table next year, asking someone to pass the potatoes like she was just named People Magazine’s Redeemed Villain of the Year or something. She meant business.

Finally, I think I would’ve ended the show with the S6 finale. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed S7 and I loved KnightRook and Wish Hook and all the excellent Colin content we got that year... but in hindsight, the Hail Mary play of rebooting the series really just didn’t work, and S7 ended up as the “extra chapter” the series itself didn’t need. It’s not that I would want to give up the awesomeness of what we had... It’s just that I feel like if we hadn’t had it, we’d be unaware of what we were missing out on anyway, but the series as a whole would’ve maintained more of its impact and dignity.

But then, we were blessed with Wish Hook and the wonders of S7 Hooked Queen, so... :D I mean, coulda shoulda woulda, I’ve got ‘em now and you can’t take that away from meeee...

[tommyhagen]

Old Friends Can Still Fight

Hey everyone! I’ll be posting sick fic centered scenes from some of my fanfics (totally not in hopes it’ll inspire you guys to send me some prompts or anything. This fanfic was a long multi ship X-Men Mpreg (not ABO tho) but you can ignore it because I’m not got be posting anything more of it than the sickfic and whump scenes. Note for Remyspeak Ah=I. I just can’t write for him doing his third person bullshit.

TW: sickfic, nausea, conflict between friends, unsolicited touches and mentions of sexual harassment

@jay-sop I don’t ship them quite like you but their broship is a fucking sight to behold

———————————————————

Remy felt someone looking down at him. One of the kids already? Breakfast had literally just started! Didn’t they have problems of their own to worry about? He couldn’t leave his damn room anymore without a trail of them following after him. How hadn’t they put together yet that asking ‘Mr. LeBeau’ if he was okay all the time was bound to make him less so?

Remy was draped over one of the couches tucked in the back of the living room. Pretty standard procedure these days after he attempting to eat something- his stomach flipped at just the thought. No wonder they found him. Maybe he ought to switch couches.

He had an arm sling over his face blocking out the sun streaming in from an overhead window. He moved it aside slightly so he could crack an eye open at whoever was harassing him and tell them to get bent. Depending on their age. He was happy with his life here at X Academy and wasn’t trying to get himself fired.

Oh. It was Logan. “Get bent.”

“Nice to see you too, Gumbo.”, Logan replied with a chuckle.

Remy moaned softly in response. Logan was sneering- the bastard. He knew how much Remy hated that nickname. Four years later and he was still yelling it at him from down the hall every other day.

“Okay, okay. How about Jambalaya, then?”, the bastard guffawed.

Remy actually whimpered and there would be hell to pay for Logan causing him to do that. The hand covering his eyes shot down to clamp over his mouth. Slowly, once it was safe to do so, Remy opened his eyes to glare up at Logan. “Seriously. Mention food again and Ah will blow up every last one of the Cubans ya got ‘hidden’ in ya desk.

Logan gave a deep frown and they both knew it wasn’t for fear of the safety of his cigars. He could get new ones anytime he wanted. Ever since Deadpool had moved in it was like the Black Market had opened up a Westchester branch.

Wilson just always had his hands on anything you could ever want. Now whether or not he’d give it to you was another thing entirely. He didn’t take money and Remy was damn certain he didn’t want to find out what Wilson took instead. The guy was a freak. And Charles had to know Wilson was dealing pot to the kids. Just another confirmation that at some point in his life Charles must have been all kinds of fun.

Remy decided to speak again just to put an end to the wave of pity coming off Logan- the damn Neanderthal. Remy wouldn’t take that shit and sure as hell not from Logan.

“The missus send ya to check on me?”, Remy teased. Logan was beyond whipped and Remy knew he’d never get tired of laughing about it.

Logan relaxed again as Remy forced their teasing dynamic back into the interaction. He was good at that, the guilt and pity not so much. “Nope. Sent myself to check on you. Cuz if you die the missus would never let me hear the end of it.”, Logan grunted, giving Remy his smarmiest grin.

Remy made a sound suspiciously close to a laugh considering his voice had stopped working well enough to do so a few days back. His lips were curled upward though so even Logan could probably figure it out. “You’re a prince among men, Logan.”, Remy retorted drily but with an actual smile now. He’d missed this- Logan.

“Well that’s what they tell me, anyway.”, Logan said with a shrug. “Now move your ass so I can sit down.”

Remy’s smile grew wider. At least someone had the sense to realize that being sick didn’t mean he was a five year old. If Jean -or shudder, Scott- called him sweetie one more goddamn time he’d make sure to throw up on them. At least he could always count on Logan to give him a hard time. “Only because you asked so nicely.”, Remy crooned, batting his eyelashes frantically at him which earned Remy an amused snort that he had no idea how much he’d missed.

Nowadays he just got like a fucking hug or something. Seriously, had he missed some house-wide memo that said it was suddenly okay for everyone to hug him?!

It had started with the little kids and even that Remy hadn’t been crazy about. But with them he figured, what’s the harm? Everybody hugged little kids for some reason that was completely beyond him. It probably would’ve been weirder for Remy to say no to them, right? And, okay, even he’d say some of them were pretty cute.

Kitty Pride had just come up to him in the hall all out sobbing about how Remy was her favorite teacher and he just couldn’t die because she’d miss him too much. What the hell was he supposed to do?! He didn’t like kids but he wasn’t a fucking monster. He’d leave the making little girls cry to Erik.

That was before Remy’d known that apparently there’s this rule with kids where if you hug one then you had to hug them all. Ugh. All the damn time he had kids coming up to him and clinging and climbing all over him. Gross. Leave that shit for Charles and Kurt. Remy missed the times when he’d been the cool, unapproachable teacher.

Somehow, though, he was still the sexy teacher. The teens had somehow decided they got hugging privileges too which they interpreted as sexual harassment privileges. Remy had always known half his classes had a thing for him but never in a million years would he have guessed how many of them were little fucking creeps.

It was all of them. He couldn’t go a full day without at least three of those little dirtbags pressing themselves too close during a hug. Remy’d nearly kneed one in the groin when the little freak took the opportunity to try to sniff his neck. Thank God he wasn’t actually their teacher anymore or he’d flunk every last one of them.

And that wasn’t even the worst of it. He might actually have to do something about that girl Rogue soon. He was pretty sure she was stalking him. He kept finding weird notes and poems so...ugh... they could have only been written by a high school girl. Remy had to admit, she had him a little creeped. (And God forbid Victor should find out.)

The worst part was he didn’t know Rogue well enough to feel comfortable fucking with her a bit to get her to cut it out. Like he would with Bobby or his annoying little minions. The last time Bobby Drake had hugged him the little bitch had grabbed his ass. Remy had blown up his pants and left him standing there in the hallway in his boxers. Problem solved.

Charles hadn’t been happy with him about that but Remy had barely gotten a slap on the wrist. He hadn’t even been called into Charles’ office for A Talk. Because obviously since he was such a fucking invalid no one could talk to him unless it was to coddle him. It was disgusting.

Remy could handle the girls doing it. Hell, he’d spend as much time pressed up against Raven as she wanted him to. Even Jean, boring as he was. Charles and Kurt were a special case but Scott had to be stopped. Someone had to tell that ass he wasn’t just the big brother figure to everyone that he clearly thought he was. Who in the hell’s dumb idea was it that sick people might like to be touched, anyway.

Remy was so busy thinking about how much he hated people touching him that he hadn’t noticed his head had somehow ended up in Logan’s lap. When he had clearly moved his legs for the dumbass to sit there. He narrowed his eyes as he looked up at Logan. How dare he?! Remy didn’t think he would be able to handle it if Logan started pulling this shit too. Then Victor would be the only person left in his corner. Sure, Victor was the only person that Remy really needed but that didn’t mean losing everyone else wouldn’t hurt like hell.

He buried his paranoia under a joking tone. That was the way he and Logan had always communicated and Remy’d be damned if anything was going to change that. “Ugh, don’t tell me! Ya the one that been slipping those get well cards with those little third grade ass poems in em under my door? Ah thought cuz of the handwriting it must have been from one of the little kids or somethin. Probably shoulda figured it could have been yours too.”, Remy jeered but it probably hasn’t been one of his best performances. He could feel there was something a bit too bright about his eyes.

Logan forced himself to laugh. And his tone wasn’t even close to casual as he snarked, “In your dreams LeBeau. Only sitting like this cuz now nobody will ask me to do shit.” Neither of them said anything about how much more obvious it was that Remy was really, really bad if Logan had managed to surprise him with anything.

In gratitude, Remy accepted Logan’s flimsy excuse without another word about it. Although he knew part of that was for himself. It was maybe 9 AM and and already he felt like shit. (He always felt like shit.) But arguing with Logan might actually be enough to do him in and land him in the infirmary with Hank for the next few days. And that’d be even more hell on Victor than Remy himself.

Besides, the excuse would probably work for Logan. If he claimed to be too busy taking care of Remy no one would argue with him. Even Remy would admit he sure as hell LOOKED like someone who needed to be taken care of. “Always happy to help someone skip out of their responsibilities.”, Remy replied with a half hearted salute.

“Well, no one would know more about it then you, Rem.”, Logan smirked returning the salute with a pretend tip of the hat.

“Oh, yes.”. Remy closed his eyes in mock appreciation. “Ya’ve always had SUCH a way with words.”. Remy batted his eyelashes at Logan like a lunatic over his hand like a fan, striking his best southern belle pose and voice, “Oh how do you do it, Mistah Howlett?”

That had Logan cracking up and the tension gone. “Seriously though, Rems, you up to talking? Cuz I can be quiet and let you get some sleep. Have you seen yourself? You definitely need it; you look like shit.”, he asked, careful to word things in a way that wouldn’t be patronizing.

Remy loved that about him desperately. Logan really did have a way with words sometimes. “Oh my, always the gentleman!”, Remy crowed trying his goddamn best to channel Scarlett O’Hara.

He laughed and then answered Logan’s question more quickly than he intended, “Don’t ya start treating me like Ah’m a library too or Ah promise Ah will punch you in the throat.” If that had sounded needy Remy couldn’t help it. It was always just so damn quiet now and Remy was never really comfortable unless he was surrounded by noise and a crowd. What the hell was he supposed to fade away into now?! Nothing. Remy could swear being left vulnerable like this was only making him even sicker.

“Course not! I’ve never seen you with a book in my damn life.”, Logan shot back lightly.

“Well pardon me, Wordsworth.”. Remy managed another real smile when Logan clearly had no idea what he was talking about. “What?! Ya old enough ya coulda met him! Can you even read, homme?”, Remy taunted.

Logan smiled down at him and flicked him on the forehead. “Have some damn respect for your elders, sonny!”, he played along.

Remy made the almost laughter noise again before growing serious. “Really. Don’t start whispering around me. You know the kids won’t even curse around me anymore? Turned around a corner just as one of em yelled ‘Fuck!’. Thought he might explode from fear. Didn’t even calm him down when Ah told him to stop acting like a little bitch. He just run off like the devil was after him. When in the hell did I become everyone’s granny?”, Remy joked but there was real hurt there too.