#customer service regulus gives me nightmares

[ezkel]

thinking about Muggle au regulus that ran away when he was over 18, no money, no idea how to make or save money, no cooking skills, no cleaning skills, freeloading on Barty and Evans couch and getting a job at a McDonald's drive through

imagine Sirius is buying maccas and the person handing over his food is his prissy spoilt brother that he hasn't seen in 5yrs

[ajthecrayon]

Marauders Grocery Store head canons

THE ONE WHERE THEY ALL WORK AT A GROCERY STORE

part two

I work at a grocery store and I can't help but assign my coworkers their variants of the marauders fandom while I rot watching my self check-out area. So drum roll please as I assign them each their departments. Is this based on my actual coworkers? yes. yes it is. Some things are not obviously true to form because who actually knows that much about their coworkers lives.

First! Our management (womp womp)

Remus Lupin - have mercy on this man's soul. He hates it here. Every time he catches James' eye on the busiest day of the week (Sunday) he pretends to choke himself out. He loves it. But hates it. He can't pay for his university right now so he's stuck doing this until he saves up enough (it's been three years, the economy is crashing please help) The only person getting him through this job is his boyfriend (Sirius) who works in the floral department of the grocer alongside his brother Regulus. James and Remus were coworkers before Remus got promoted

Lily Evans - sweetest woman alive, but if you piss her off enough she will scold you and you will be so terrified of her for the rest of your days working there. Mostly in charge of making sure the baggers are bagging groceries correctly, and that carts aren't staying stuck outside. She's the management that has been there the longest. Since she started the job at sixteen and is still there at 24. She loves it. She's a single mom who has split custody of her son Harry (with James it's all very healthy.)

Peter Pettigrew - He's permanently stressed out. Please pray for this man. He's a full time student, and a part time worker who pulls full time hours. He's a pretty good manager, but feels awkward asking anyone to do anything for him. He says please over and over. Like yeah it's 90000°F outside but I really need you outside on carts :( sorry please I'm sorry! (Marlene beefs with him for this.)

Our Lovely Cashiers:

James Potter - ooh this man piss me off!! He's the sweetest with customers, but sasses his coworkers like no tomorrow. He hates being bored so he makes it a point to tease the hell out of everyone around him. He's never on register though, usually he's in the self check out. And even then he's a nightmare. He's 100% work your wage kind of guy though. Calls everyone a silly goose. Remus and James play flirt with each other and it's sort of terrifying to witness sometimes. People really like him and gravitate towards him easily. He wants to be a manager, but hes busy studying so he can't pull the hours needed. He has bought his coworkers their break snacks.

Barty Crouch Jr - Surprisingly amazing customer service, he does crush bread unapologetically though. The way he treats his coworkers is a different story! If anything they don't exist and only talks to them if he needs something from them (unless you're Evan) the customers matter of course because who is he if not a great show man and that's all customer service is- playing things up a little. He may be winning at customer service but it's an act. He does not give a single shit about your issue. If he decides something is out of his pay grade he is blowing you off and getting his manager/a bagger to help him.

Our baggers, only bagging groceries and pushing carts

Evan Rosier - He was hired first for maintenance, hated it, saw the bathroom after ice cream sample day and nearly blew the store up with bombs. He very quickly moved departments. He honestly doesn't even work his wage. This man does below the bare minimum, he looks forward every day when he clocks in to collapsing on the couch with Barty and getting high out of his mind. He spent three hours one time outside and ended up getting sunburnt. He learned very quickly that black people CAN get sunburnt. He has so many tattoos and piercings. He's the best with the little kids though. He loves talking to them when they roll in with their race-car carts. Gives them stickers and talks to them like they're adults.

Marlene McKinnon - OH MY GOD she is always pumped or ready to let a car run her over in the parking lot- there is no in between with this girl. She's extremely meticulous about what groceries go where and will judge you if you suck at bagging groceries. She's an absolute TANK outside. Pushing rows in like no one's business. Everyone has a crush on her. She has strong customer service and customers love her. Purposefully will choose lanes where she's bagging.

A part two will be coming with the floral department. (Sirius, Regulus, Dorcas, Mary and Pandora)

[ezkel]

so I wrote a one shot of this.

Please stop coming to the McDonald's Drive-thru

Regulus Black fears that his life is one endless loop of bad decisions. The first bad decision Regulus made in his leaving was not making a withdrawal of a good portion of his family's money into cash to take with him. The second was not considering where he would stay. He had taken the following his brother's footsteps a bit too seriously. It was uncharacteristically impulsive. These bad decisions led him to Evan and Barty’s flat in the early hours of a Wednesday morning, soaked in rain after walking through the rain for hours after being unable to take public transport or a taxi. Still dressed in the suit and tie that is required for his family dinners. After laughing at him for at least half an hour, the two told him he could sleep on their sofa until he had a place of his own.

It became clear in only a day that Regulus had no idea how to function without the privileges of money.

or Regulus runs away and ends up working at a McDonald's drive-thru

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64219891

3416 words - oneshot

thinking about Muggle au regulus that ran away when he was over 18, no money, no idea how to make or save money, no cooking skills, no cleaning skills, freeloading on Barty and Evans couch and getting a job at a McDonald's drive through

imagine Sirius is buying maccas and the person handing over his food is his prissy spoilt brother that he hasn't seen in 5yrs