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florencemtrash · 10 months ago

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In a year's time - Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Angst, jealous Azriel, fluff

Masterlist of Masterlists

"But for all he knew you could have fallen for some dashing golden warrior, or found that you preferred your shiny, new friends over him - that you’d found a quieter city full of fae that stole your heart as well as your attention away from him."

Mor narrowed her eyes at the Shadowsinger, watching as he adjusted the collar of his newly tailored suit jacket and then combined his hair back with scarred fingers.

Azriel had always been annoyingly beautiful - even during their middling years when their voices cracked and they hadn’t yet grown into their long, slender limbs - and so he’d never needed to take special care of his appearance. His hair dried in perfect waves, his skin was smooth and clean despite the scars, and his training had carved out a silhouette as strong and capable as it was alluring. So why did he keep smoothing down his waistcoat like he was nervous?

Mor darted out a tongue, cleaning up the drop of wine that threatened to fall from her ruby red lips, “Azriel? What in the Mother’s name are you doing?”

His eyes barely flicked over to where she lay sprawled out on his bed. She had no intention of attending this ball sober, and if the near empty bottle of wine balanced precariously against her knee was any indication, she would exceed her goal before they even stepped outside his bedroom.

He picked up the tie - midnight blue and hand-embroidered with silver thread - and flung it around his neck.

“Getting ready for the ball.” He answered blandly.

She rolled her eyes, “Obviously,” then continued to stare at him expectantly as he finished knotting the tie, folded his pocket square, and then slid his weapons into place as a last measure, cobalt blue siphons flashing from the backs of his hands.

It clicked all at once as he strolled for the door, forcing Mor to abandon the glass and drink straight from the bottle.

“Oh my gods.” She said, mouth agape. Her shoes clicked along the marble floors of the River House like the beating of drums.

Azriel groaned internally. Even tipsy and wearing seven-inch heels, Mor kept up with his long strides easily, prodding his side accusingly with her wine bottle. It magically refilled itself with every jab.

“You’re trying to impress Y/n!”

Suddenly it was as obvious as the sun rising in the east. He’d chosen the tie you complimented him on last Starfall, despite his hatred of its fanciful nature. He was wearing the silver moonstone cufflinks you’d bought him for his birthday. He’d even combed his hair because he knew you’d notice and muss it up for him.

“Mor-” He warned, color beginning to dust his cheeks. His shadows darted around the hallway, climbing the velvet curtains and peering around the corners to watch for any potential eavesdropping.

“I knew it! I knew it!” She said, swatting him with a frustrated hand. Her red silk dress clung to her waist and thighs before fluttering out in a halo around her knees as she chased after him, aiming to slap him across the head.

Azriel stopped in his tracks and grabbed at her wrists, desperately hoping no one else in the house had left their rooms yet. If he was really lucky, the two mated couples would be making enough noise of their own to drown out Mor’s excitement.

“Mor, stop it. And be quiet.”

“You loooove her.” She crowed, dragging out the sound. Suddenly she straightened up, hands on her hips and frowning, “Is that why you’ve been so irritable lately? Because you miss her?”

Azriel said nothing, gave away nothing, even though Mor had hit the nail on the head in her drunken stupor.

It had been a great honor when Thesan offered to take you under his wing and train you personally. More than a favor to Rhysand, he’d seen your healing talent and wanted your expertise to be well represented in the Dawn Court. So a year ago you’d packed up your things and said your goodbyes.

“It’s only temporary.” You’d promised him, “I’ll be back before you know it. In a year’s time.”

But a lot could change in a year. You’d sent plenty of letters back and forth to each other, and Azriel would be loath to admit that he slept with them clutched against his chest every night so whispers of your scent would chase the nightmares away.

But for all he knew you could have fallen for some dashing golden warrior, or found that you preferred your shiny, new friends over him - that you’d found a quieter city full of fae that stole your heart as well as your attention away from him.

He was happy for you and had been the one to encourage you to move to Dawn. But that didn’t mean he didn’t miss you terribly. You’d been missing from his side like a torn limb, and Azriel had been walking through life at a crooked angle ever since.

“I don’t-” He sighed, he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t love you. He just couldn’t, “It’s none of your business, Mor.” He amended.

He released her wrists breezed past her, but she sprinted ahead of him, splaying her limbs out on the staircase to block his path.

“You need to tell her you love her. Tonight.” She commanded. Her words slurred out gently, the faerie wine finally kicking in when she’d wanted it to. “I mean it, Az.”

He shook his head, “I can’t tell her tonight.”

“Why not?”

“I haven’t seen her in a year! I can’t drop that kind of truth on her.”

“Yes you can!” She fought back. There was some muddled piece of information hanging at the edges of her mind, something important she needed to tell Az. But the wine held it back. Fuck. She cursed inwardly.

“No. I. Can’t.”

“Yes. You. Can.” She was practically seething, pearly brown eyes unfocused but unrelenting. She knows something I don’t, Azriel realized in a burst of shock.

“What is it, Mor? What did she tell you?”

She blinked, dropping her arms from the burnt umber railings. His heart quickened. Had his worst fears come true? Had you found someone else in Dawn worth staying for?

“I-” Damn it. She shouldn’t have finished the second bottle. She cradled it protectively against her chest, feeling the glass cool her hot skin, “I don’t fucking remember.”

“What do you mean you don’t remember?”

“I mean, I’m drunk, Az. And drunk Mor doesn’t remember shit.”

His heart quickened further, a crushing sense of guilt and loss wrapping around his chest like a corset and tightening. Mor at least was saved from further useless interrogation when Rhysand and Feyre bounded out from down the hallway, tastefully disheveled and looking sinful in Night Court black.

Rhysand cleared his throat, straightening his dinner jacket and absent-mindedly straightening Feyre’s crown for her, “Everyone ready to leave?” His eyes glazed over, calling out to the last missing members of their party.

Cassian and Nesta spilled out of their room next, the braids of her coronet slipping out and spilling over her heaving chest. Azriel tipped his head to the ceiling and cursed silently. Mother have mercy…

Nesta pulled up on the strap of her lace dress, only to find that it had been torn to ribbons.

Cassian was in no better shape - the collar of his white shirt was smeared with lipstick, although he didn’t have the same sense as Nesta to look annoyed at the interruption to their… activities. A toothy grin bloomed on his face, shoulder-length hair tangled like someone had been yanking it for hours.

“Can’t make it tonight, Rhys.” He said. He glanced down at Nes, “I’m not feeling well.”

“Me neither.” Nesta said hastily, slipping back behind the door and hauling Cassian inside with her like he weighed as light as a feather. Four months after their mating ceremony and they were as insatiable as ever.

“You’re full of shit, Cass!” Rhys called out just before the door slammed shut. A muffled Fuck you! Came from within, followed by a, Tell Y/n we’ll see her at home! From Nesta.

They winnowed to the outskirts of Daybreak Hill, landing in a field of cushiony moss dotted with pink and violet heather that stirred in the breeze like the dusk-painted clouds above.

Feyre sighed deeply, breathing in the scent of lavender and rosewater. She loved Velaris and no one could hold a candle to the beauty of the Night Court… except perhaps Dawn.

It was like someone had laid a mirror flat on the earth. Periwinkle skies kissed rolling sage green hills dotted with red-roofed villages and sank into lakes of pearl and lavender until it was impossible to tell where the sky started or ended.

The Dawn Court Palace’s twisting spires of honey marble glowed brighter than the setting sun. So brightly in fact that Mor had to help shield Azriel’s eyes with her soft hands as he carried them up through low-hanging satin clouds. Dots of scarlet and midnight black soaring through cotton skies.

His hands turned clammy and the tightness in his chest felt like a giant’s fist squeezing his heart, but he convinced himself it was the thin air that was responsible, and not the raging longing in his heart for you. Still, he had to appreciate the beauty of the red-roofed villages below, tinkering hands hard at work inside chestnut workshops filled with glistening bronze and copper.

They dove through the columns into the open-air hall, any dampness from the mist magicked away by Thesan’s careful hands as he stepped down from the golden dias to greet his honored guests. His rich, copper-colored skin radiated light, melting with the darkness that rippled off Rhysand and Feyre’s shoulders as they shook hands and exchanged the usual pleasantries.

Mor stretched her silky arms above her hands, catching the eyes of a cherub-faced female reaching to grab a flute from the champagne tower. Normally, Mor would have been flattered, but with Emerie at home and a wine-drunk haze over her mind, she was feeling more anxious than anything else. What the fuck was it that she was trying to remember?

Faelights bloomed above him, tinkered in the shapes of roses that gently pulsed, fluttering petals propelling them across the room in a sway of light.

But Azriel was barely paying attention. His eyes skimmed the crowd, searching for a silhouette he knew as intimately as the ridges of his hands.

There.

You stood across the room, half-hidden in the stone archway beside Thesan’s lover, Herades. You bowed your head towards him in silent conversation, nursing a glass of champagne in your hand to try and cool your nerves. Azriel would be arriving soon, if he wasn’t already here, cradling the walls in search of dark corners like he was bound to do. You’d been imagining all the ways you’d greet him - with a joke, with a meaningful embrace, with a kiss. You shook her head, pushing the last thought out of your mind and focusing on Herades’s story again.

Your laugh was a flare of light blooming at the end of a match. Azriel stared utterly captivated. Time moved slower than syrup when you finally met his eyes and smiled with an affection more precious than gold.

“Az!” You squeezed Herades’s arm, politely excusing yourself, and then you were off. You sprang across the room in a billow of cream fabric, like milk poured into coffee. The tips of your pleated skirts were touched with blue like you’d waded out into the night sky. The color matched the ribbon in your hair, and the siphons of a certain lovestruck Shadowsinger.

“Y/n,” He breathed out. You flowed into his arms and he gathered you into them like a bouquet of wildflowers, breathing in your familiar scent of rosemary and peppermint. Gods I missed you. He whispered in his mind, hoping that somehow you’d hear it at the end of that glowing thread.

But the hug was short-lived. Too short-lived.

“Mor!” You sang in that melodic voice he loved so much, grasping for her next, then Rhys, then Feyre.

Thesan looked on humbly, sighing faintly when Herades caught up to you and immediately slid to Thesan’s side.

“Oh I’ve missed you all so much.” You said, rocking back and forth.

“We missed you,” Feyre said into your hair. She was the one to pull away, smoothing out ribbon and giving you a once-over look.

Your time had been well-spent at the Dawn Court. Extra color bronzed your cheeks and tinted your lips a pale berry shade. You stood up straighter, smiled a little wider, and walked with an extra height to your step. You’d always been beautiful and graceful, but it was like you were aware of it now - like you’d grown the last few inches into your body.

“You look lovely, Y/n.” Feyre said and Mor agreed enthusiastically, commenting on your dress and your hair and your… well everything.

“Thank you,” You said, blushing, “Thesan’s treated me very well.”

That was an understatement. He’d set you up in his personal household, paid you handsomely (even more than Rhysand paid you if that were possible), and had had the royal seamstress sew ten dresses for you to pick from for tonight’s ball alone. It was your party after all in commemoration of the advancements you’d made in child birthing practices. You’d handled twelve pregnancies alone in the past year across Dawn and Winter, all of the children delivered safely and as plump and rosy as summer cherries.

“And you’ve repaid it to my court ten-fold.” Thesan said and held up his drink. Even Herades smiled, tawny feathers flaring out with pride. You were responsible for the safety of his sister-in-law and the birth of his nephew - hawk wings and all.

It was a flurry of activity following the Night Court’s fashionably late arrival. You dragged Azriel and Mor up to the dais after Rhys and Feyre. Traditionally the table was only meant for High Lords and their partners, but Thesan was a unique and progressive leader in more ways than one.

Herades and Thesan sat in the middle with Feyre and Rhysand, leaving you, Azriel, and Mor at one end and Thesan’s sister and her husband at the other.

Azriel was eternally grateful when Mor lunged for the center-most seat, forcing you to sit between her and Azriel. You bumped knees with him, leaning close as you whispered about the Court gossip you’d managed to overhear from the cooks or discussing the progress you’d made in the Winter Court.

Course after course appeared in front of him and disappeared, hardly touched. He wasn’t hungry for anything other than you, focusing on the crease within your brows as you tried to remember all the news you couldn’t write to him about or the twist of your perfect, flushed lips as you displayed your displeasure and your joy.

If he believed himself to be worthy of your affection he would have whisked you away hours ago, disappearing into whichever room in the palace was yours and pressing you against the wall, lip-locked until the need for air forced him to stop.

“How are Kallias and Viviane doing?” Mor asked, perking up at the mention of the Winter Court.

You smiled, your cheeks flushing with color, “I’m not supposed to say, Mor, so you must promise not to tell anyone. Anyone.” Mor locked her mouth and threw away the key. Your lips brushed against the sharp curve of her ear, “She’s pregnant.”

Mor clapped a hand over her mouth, nearly upsetting the glass of wine balanced precariously on the edge of the table. One of Azriel’s shadows darted out, pushing it safely out of the way of her swaying arms.

“Stop.” She hissed in disbelief. Her golden hair seemed to brighten with her cheeks.

You nodded, “With twins.”

Tears flooded her eyes, “That wench didn’t tell me.”

“She’s been busy, if you can imagine.”

“Still!” Mor muttered under her breath, eating her food slowly and sipping on her wine quickly. She gave up on being sober the more males approached her from the base of the dais, bowing deeply with proud, puffed up chests and asking for a dance. Word had gone around about her… preferences, and far from dissuading suitors, it seemed to have been offered up as a challenge as to who could change her mind. Thank the gods Emerie had declined the invitation to join them. She would have castrated half these males in an instant, if Mor didn’t beat her to it.

Thesan, gratefully, put an end to it once he caught onto the pattern. One sharp look from him sent them scampering back, coattails between their legs.

There was one final male though who ignored the previous warnings, humbly bleeding out of the crowd as remnants of rose cake disappeared from the tables and the quartet swelled to include twelve musicians plus a singer. Full, cream-colored wings hovered above the ground, tawny-tipped and lush. Even Mor had to admit, with his olive skin, amber eyes, and warm honey curls he was stunning. Like liquid gold poured out of the setting sun.

He bowed deeply, a subtle smile on his face. Azriel went rigid, seeing you lean forward out of the corner of his eye with a blush coating your cheeks.

Mor closed her eyes and groaned. Fuuuuuuuck. That’s what she’d forgotten about. Or rather whom she’d forgotten about.

Naemon - the golden boy who’d begun to court you seven months back. You’d dropped his name only a handful of times in your letters to Mor. Not enough times to convince Mor you were actually taken with him, but enough times for her to remember the bastard’s name.

“Y/n,” His voice was silky smooth and kind, “May I have the first dance with you?” He asked politely.

Your breath caught in your throat and you risked a glance over at Azriel. He looked… bored and unaffected. He reached for his glass, looking more interested in the faerie wine than the male who’d just asked for your hand. It was stupid of you to think he would care for you as anything more than a friend, and even more foolish of you to think he might be jealous.

You pushed away from the table and floated down the dais, taking the strong and sturdy hand Naemon offered you. The first song was too spirited and quick to reveal any true feelings. It was a blur of silks and lean arms as you wove through the sea of dancers and were gently tossed from partner to partner. But the second song was slower, more intimate. Naemon flashed a look of gratitude to the singer, who winked in return, before scooping one arm around your waist, hand flat on the small of your back. You rested one hand on his shoulder, feeling the rolling of muscle beneath his crisp linen tunic, and held his free hand.

Naemon was a kind and gentle male. After the death of his parents, he’d all but raised his younger sister Namia on his own, relying on the money he earned in the Peregryn legion to make ends meet. It was his care for his sister that had first drawn him to you - any misgivings he’d had melting away as you grew close to Namia from among the other healers. You’d supported her throughout her pregnancy, become her friend, and served as a balm to his anxieties whenever his duties took him away for long stretches of time.

You looked down bashfully, apologizing for missing one of the dance steps and crushing his toe, “I’m better at the quicksteps.” You explained.

Naemon smiled brilliantly, and you couldn’t stop the faint flutter in your chest, “I can’t blame you. The slow ones can get boring. Leaves too much time for overthinking.”

“Exactly.” Too much time for overthinking about a certain Shadowsinger.

You’d never given Naemon any false pretenses about your feelings, always reminding him and Namia that your position in Dawn was temporary. But still… It felt nice to be courted by someone as open as him. With Naemon you never had to guess whether he wanted you or not - you knew he did. The flowers he often left in the healer’s temple, or the offers to take you out to dinner or to dances like this one proved it.

A curl of guilt coiled in your stomach. Maybe now was a good time to bow out and return to your seat. Surely the slow waltz would be finishing soon. The-

“You’re overthinking again.” Naemon said, his full lips brushing against the sharp curve of your ear and heating the gold cuffs you wore. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, Y/n. If you’re enjoying yourself - if you like dancing with me - keep doing it.”

“Naemon-” You began apologetically.

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about me, Y/n.” He said honestly, “I just want to dance with you tonight. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

You stared into his eyes, finding nothing but truth in them. A portion of your nerves melted away and you found that when the cello began to hum out a simple tune, you were still holding onto him and letting him move you through the next movements.

Azriel was barely holding on by a thread. Wine glass now empty and clenched dangerously between shadow covered hands. Rhys shot him a look, and when his attempts to breach his brother’s mental shields were met with resistance, he turned to Mor.

What’s wrong with him? His eyes flashed the question.

He’s being an ass who can’t come to terms with his emotions. Mor grumbled back, sinking into her seat with a fling of yellow-gold waves.

Rhys’s eyes went from confused to wide open as he shot a look to you across the dance floor. Fuck.

Feyre followed her mate’s attention with a look of concern, and then traced Azriel’s steely gaze to the dance floor where you were smiling reservedly up at Naemon. You two made a handsome couple, weaving a clear path through the other dancers as they parted for his magnificent feathered wings.

Azriel stiffened. He’d never been particularly proud of his Illyrian heritage, but his wings… his wings were one of the few true beauties he possessed. But in comparison to the golden-boy warrior that smiled at you and brushed back a loose strand of hair with his soft hands, Azriel found himself lacking… once again.

Naemon was a gentle breeze where Azriel was blistering wind. He was a wide open door, every look he gave you filled with clear affection. Azriel was a dozen locked boxes, each one nestled within the other with all the keys rusted and thrown away. Naemon looked reserved and in control. Azriel felt completely out of it, and it took every inch of willpower to keep the mating bond from driving him mad enough to launch across the dancefloor and bruise Naemon’s high, perfect cheekbones.

But then the dance ended and Naemon parted from you long enough to reach behind his back and pluck a feather from his wing. A few shocked gasps scattered throughout the room. Even Thesan and Herades looked on with raised eyebrows, leaning close enough to touch.

The feather was a beauty - the length of Naemon’s forearm and such a pure white it glimmered like moonlight. You froze, staring down at the treasure he offered you with bated breath.

Peregryns were fiercely protective of their wings and rightfully so. To be allowed near them alone was a great honor. To touch them was an intimate act reserved for family members and lovers. To be offered a feather?! In some circles it was akin to being gifted a thousand roses. In other circles it was tantamount to a marriage proposal.

Both offers were completely overwhelming to you.

“Naemon-” You began carefully, backing away, “I-I can’t.”

He smiled softly, eyes flashing briefly up to the dias where the Shadowsinger had gotten up to his feet, something like desperation and longing buried deep beneath the layers of his hazel eyes.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/n.” Naemon said resignedly, “But please, take this,” He begged, spreading open your fingers before curling them again around the feather, “For everything you’ve done for my family.”

And because I love you, even if you don’t love me back - were the words he didn’t say aloud.

“Naemon-” A shadow fell over your feet, curling around your ankles and skirts and tugging you away like a child seeking attention.

Naemon, for all his relative youth and gentle disposition, didn’t seem surprised or affected by the Shadowsinger’s presence. Azriel hovered close behind you, eyes blown open and desperate.

Please don’t. He silently begged. Please don’t say yes to him.

He almost melted with relief when Naemon only dipped his head in acknowledgement and kissed the palm of your hands. Even that innocent touch made Azriel’s stomach turn.

You turned when Naemon finally disappeared into the crowd. “Azriel, I-”

You had half a mind to hide the feather behind your back, but you couldn’t do such a cruel thing to Naemon. And it wasn’t like Azriel hadn’t watched the whole thing unfold in front of him. You clasped the feather in your hands, careful not to ruffle the delicate barbs.

Azriel was no longer bored and unaffected. In fact he seemed unnaturally flustered and nervous.

He swallowed thickly, mindful of the curious stares you were attracting. Not only had you just been proposed to, but now you were being approached by a male from your past after an ambiguous response - you’d accepted the feather, but Naemon had left alone. The court gossips would have a field day, if they weren’t already.

“Y/n,” He said, his voice thin and quiet. A mere whisper among the riff raff that was steadily building up again in a crescendo, “Can we please talk?” His wings fluttered nervously, and he shot a dangerous look at a male who came too close to you, “In private? Please?”

Your heart fluttered in your chest. You’d barely recovered from Naemon’s dramatic display and you were scared about what Azriel might offer next.

Still you mumbled, “Oh-um… yes.”

The words were barely out of your mouth before Azriel’s hand was on your wrist, delicately leading you through the crowd towards the archway and into the hallway beyond. Fae mingled about in their finery, happy to escape the music and the sweep of dancers.

Azriel scowled. This was hardly any more private.

“My quarters are further down this hall,” You offered, pointing down a sky bridge that connected the public wings of the palace to the private ones. Azriel exhaled in relief, nodding and following you as you cut through unfamiliar halls draped in rich reds, golds, and turquoises.

You stopped at a door of solid oak, hand painted to look like it had been lifted from the pages of a storybook. Resplendent gold filigree traced the footsteps of maidens running along hills dense with colorful flora. Water trickled down from the mountain tops, so realistic that Azriel was amazed to find the handwoven carpets in your room were dry.

You peered down the hall before closing the door with a gentle whisper. Only the songbirds nesting in the high crevices bore witness to your activities.

You hesitated and then tucked the feather into one of the empty jewelry boxes on the vanity. Out of sight, but not out of mind.

Azriel stood motionless by the door, watching as you closed the box and slid it back against the mirror.

“Did you say yes?” He whispered, hating the way his voice caught in his throat, “Do you love him?”

You turned around quickly, the length of ribbon in your hair rippling through the air to land on your collarbone. Azriel was upon you in an instant close enough for you to feel his shallow breathing, but all he did was trace the blue ribbon with his fingers and then push it back over your shoulder.

“I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You stuttered and your face burned with feeling. Azriel had asked you for privacy so he could ask you about Naemon?

Azriel clenched his fists once. Twice. “The male you were dancing with. The feather-”

You blushed deeply, turning your face away to hide your embarrassment. You had hoped he didn’t know about that Peregryn custom.

He gently gripped your chin with his thumb and forefinger, pulling your gaze back to him. You blinked in surprise. For once Azriel looked… scared.

“Did you say yes to him? Please. Tell me.”

If you had said yes he might just shrivel up into nothing on the spot. Why had he waited so long to tell you his feelings? Why had he waited so long to tell you about the bond? But if he did it now it would just be terrible timing all around. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You shook your head and Azriel’s wings dropped in relief, eyes closing as he murmured a quiet thanks to the Mother beneath his breath.

“He-it wasn’t even a real proposal. He gave it to me as thanks for helping his sister. That’s all.”

He gave you a pointed look like he knew you were lying. There was no questioning Naemon’s feelings for you. No questioning at all.

“You never answered my second question.”

You crumpled under his gaze. Gods, he looked beautiful tonight. Torturously so. It wasn’t fair. Naemon had loved you openly, never given you cause to doubt his intentions nor made you feel guilty for not returning his feelings. And yet here you were, still pining after the male who’d never seen you as more than a friend. A male whose intentions were never clear. A male who always made you question how well you knew him, and whether those small touches and reserved smiles and affectionate letters were just a polite kindness or something more.

“No.” It felt wrong of you to admit it so callously, even if it was the truth, “No I don’t love him.”

Azriel looked ready to kiss the ground and something about that set a fire within you. Leave it to Azriel to ignore any romantic advances from you, to chase after other females left and right for literal centuries, and then get upset the moment another male found you appealing.

You huffed, pushing him away harshly and crossing your arms over your chest, “It’s none of your business anyhow. I’m allowed to have my lovers and my almost lovers. And if you truly thought Naemon was proposing to me, I don’t know why you’d want to fucking interrupt it!”

Azriel flinched at the coldness in your voice, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it, Az?” You exclaimed, clearly irritated now, “Gods, you never just say what you mean.”

Azriel tried again, grasping at straws. “I would never judge you for your choices, even if you said yes to him or-I just-fuck.”

On any other day you’d be laughing. Azriel was a male of few words, but the words he did say were always perfect and calculated. Nothing about this was calculated or thought out.

“I… you’re my best friend, Y/n. And I haven’t seen you in over a year. I just…” He cringed. Hard. Cauldron boil him. He was doing this terribly, “I was scared.” He finally admitted, and rather pathetically.

“Scared?” You dropped your arms. That wasn’t the answer you’d been expecting, “Scared of what? You’re hardly ever afraid of anything.”

He shrank away, hands clasped tightly behind his back, “That you’d leave me-us. That you’d find a reason to stay here instead of returning to Velaris. And when I saw you dancing with him tonight - the way he was looking at you and the way you were looking at him - I thought… I thought Naemon would be that reason.”

Now you were confused and even more irate than before.

You stalked up to him, jabbing his chest with an accusatory finger, “You were the one who encouraged me to do this. You were the one constantly writing to me about the importance of making friends and “putting myself out there.” You were the one who practically shoved me out the door when I left-”

“Because I thought you wanted this!”

“I did! I-I do!”

“Then what was I supposed to do, Y/n?!” He cried out. His shadows, which had been held back so tightly on a leash throughout the night, exploded outward, coating the bright colors of your bedspread and the rugs and the curtains in inky black. They swirled there, as agitated and timid as their master.

“What was I supposed to do?” He whispered again. He sounded tired. Defeated. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t hold you back from what you wanted. From the happiness and opportunities you deserve.”

“You could’ve at least said something! You could’ve at least told me that you were upset with me leaving. That you were going to miss me and that you-you-”

That you love me and that you wanted me to stay. You shoved the thought out of your mind, slamming the door and turning the lock. Useless, lovestruck pipedreams would do you no good now.

“Instead you just pushed me out the door and it’s been nothing but empty letters from you since.”

“They weren’t empty.” Azriel said weakly. He’d never been a man of words or poetry, but in that moment he desperately wished he was. “And I did miss you. Y/n, I missed you so much some days it felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

You deflated, your anger slowly ebbing away like the ocean during low tide. Sometimes you forgot that beneath all those hard-won layers of shadow and muscle, Azriel was still that little boy that had been abandoned in a cellar and taught to believe he was worthless. A waste of time and a waste of space. Nothing more than an inconvenient bastard.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought you were all doing fine. That I’d come back and it would be like nothing had ever changed. I would’ve-I would’ve made time to visit. Or-or come back sooner.”

Azriel chuckled without humour. He had not been “doing fine” without you. He hadn’t been “doing fine” since the moment you’d stepped across the doorway and winnowed out of Velaris.

“You make it sound like I was going away forever.” You added softly.

“It felt like it.” Azriel admitted quietly, “I always worried there was a chance you’d decide you liked things better in Dawn. That you liked the people better. So when I saw you with Naemon I just…” His voice trailed off and he slowly backed up to your bed, sinking down into the pillowy comforter. Even the beds seemed softer and kinder here. Softer and kinder than him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

He felt the bed dip beside him, your knee pressing against his in a burst of warmth. The blue tipped pleats of your dress slowly waved with his shadows as they once again curled around your feet, inching up your dress and closer and closer to your hands. Now that he was looking down he noticed the shoes you were wearing - cobalt blue with matching velvet ribbons tied up your calf. Same as your dress. Same as the ribbon in your hair.

“I wanted to believe you wore those colors for me tonight.” He said quietly, aching for your touch. Your hands were so close to his he could almost imagine that-

You covered his hands with your own, smoothing the rough skin with gentle caresses, “I did.”

It had seemed like such a stupidly hopeful choice at the time - some not-so-subtle declaration of love for all the months you’d spent apart - but when the seamstress had laid out all the dresses, you’d taken one look at the cobalt blue accents and the shoes and snatched them up in a heartbeat.

Azriel’s eyes were wider, more open, than the moon, shimmering with disbelief and hope, “You did?” He whispered.

“I did. They reminded me of you.” You stopped looking him in the eyes. It felt like too much. Too much emotion. Too much feeling. “I missed you too, you know.”

Azriel stayed quiet for a long while, sorting out the myriad of feelings roiling in his chest and trying to latch onto a single coherent thought. Finally he murmured, “I guess we could both work on saying things outright.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head and wiping at the corners of your eyes, “Yes. I guess we could.”

“We could start now.” Azriel offered hesitantly. His heart hammered away in his chest like a blacksmith at his anvil until he was sure his sternum would crack.

You raised your eyebrows. Curious.

“The next five minutes. We say everything honestly. No holding back.”

“I don’t know, Az. I-”

“Please.” He begged, holding onto your hands a little tighter. His shadows had traveled all the way up to your waist now, ghosting over flesh that he didn’t dare touch. He didn’t want to lose you. He’d thought he could handle being apart from you physically - that it would be no different from the decades he’d spent quietly loving you from right by your side - but he’d been horribly wrong. And he didn’t want to risk another, better male than Naemon coming to whisk you away before he had the chance to do things properly. To do things honestly.

His hands were shaking now, gripping your hands like you were the anchor to his ship trapped in raging waters, “I’ll start.”

“Ok.” You whispered, leaning a little closer.

Azriel swallowed and tried to stop the trembling in his hands and in his voice. In this he managed quite well, falling into a rigid, flat silence.

“I love you. I’ve loved you for years now, actually.” He dared to look at you. Your lips were parted in shock and he wished he could taste them, “Is that…is that ok?”

“Is that ok?” You repeated dumbly. “Is that ok?” You repeated a little louder, “Are you serious, Azriel?”

“Y-Yes?” He was trembling again, face open and terrified. He was offering you up his heart on a platter and praying to the Mother you wouldn’t crush it beneath those velvet blue shoes. Even if you did, he would find some solace in knowing you were the one to destroy him. He loved you so dearly that it was only within your right to do so.

Your lips broke in a stuttered smile, opening and closing like you didn’t quite know what to do. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. I’d hoped you might feel that way but I… I was never sure. I…” You cradled his face in your hands, tracing the curve of his jaw and his cheekbones with your fingertips, “I love you too, Azriel. I love you so much.” Your voice cracked, silver gathering in your eyes no matter how fiercely you tried to blink them away, “Gods, Az, you don’t even know.”

He gripped you close enough enough to bruise, arms locked around your waist and hands laid flat on your back. It was a sweet pain that grew even sweeter when you kissed him, searching for breath like you’d find it in his lungs. Azriel was just as desperate, ravenous even as he tugged at your clothes and flipped you flat on the bed. He wanted your lips again. You tasted like strawberries and cream, and he was starving.

He climbed on top, slotting himself between your legs as you yanked him close.

“Your hair,” You muttered, “It’s too neat.” The next minute was all teeth from Azriel as you mussed up his hair and he grinned wildly against your lips.

“Five-” He groaned, sinking further into you when you wrapped your legs around his waist, “Five minutes aren’t-” He propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at your flushed face as you gasped for breath and finally untangled your hands from his hair, “Five minutes aren’t up yet.”

“You’ve been keeping track?” You dropped your head back on the bed with a disgruntled hmph. Had he been counting the whole time he’d been kissing you?

He kissed your chest, then the sensitive skin of your neck. But there wasn’t any expectation in the brush of his lips, just quiet, honest love.

You raised your head, finding that Azriel once again looked scared. “There’s something else I need to tell you.” He said seriously. “Before… before anything else.”

You drew yourself onto your elbows, craning your neck for one more kiss, “You can tell me, Az. You can tell me anything.”

The bond sang in his chest like a songbird in a cage. It wanted to be released. To be acknowledged in words if it couldn’t be acknowledged through feeling at this moment. Because Azriel knew you didn’t feel it yet. You didn’t feel the burning he felt in his chest that made it hard to breathe when you weren’t around.

What if she doesn’t want this? What if she doesn’t want me? Azriel swallowed thickly, tears springing into his eyes. He wanted so desperately to be worthy of you - to be the kind and gentle lover and mate that you deserved. He’d been born crooked even before he’d been tossed into that cellar, before his half-brothers had set his hands on fire. But… but he was yours completely. He’d offer whatever meager, broken shards of himself that he could in hopes it might be enough.

“Az,” You whispered his name lovingly and slid a wayward curl behind his ear so gently he thought he might break apart into a million pieces, “Tell me. Please. Tell me.”

“You’re my mate.” He confessed.

The words hung in the air, unaccepted, unrejected, and you went preternaturally still.

He had no feathers to pluck out and present to you. But he had his shadows. You tipped your head curiously to the side when Azriel knelt on the ground, holding your hand in his.

“I don’t have any pure white feathers. I don’t even have a ring on me right now-”

“Az, you don’t need to-” You stilled when a shadow flickered down Azriel’s wrist onto yours. It was a small, delicate thing. Willful too. You could tell by the way it traveled confidently down your ring finger, curling there tastefully like a castle spire reaching towards the sky.

It hovered over your skin like mist hanging over wetlands. A proposal in and of itself.

“Yes.” You said before Azriel could open his mouth again. He hesitated, afraid to believe he’d heard you correctly, “Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” He teased weakly.

But this time you knew exactly what he meant, even if he didn’t say it out loud.

The bond burst to life in your chest as the shadow sank into your skin, settling there like a tattoo. Like a promise.

Azriel stumbled, actually stumbled, clenching at his chest at the wildness growing within him. He chased after you, hurtling down the bond and finding you wide open on the other side. You were anxious and surprised and so so so happy. So happy you felt like you might just die from it, and Azriel felt it all.

Hello, Y/n. He called out.

Hello, Azriel. You responded. My mate.

Azriel groaned, slamming his lips and his body against yours. You held steady as you always did, letting him press against you as if you could keep him there forever.

I am yours and you are mine. You gripped his hair again, feeling the silky strands caress your skin. With one smooth motion he pulled out the ribbon and started to undo the buttons of your dress.

Promise?

You grinned. Promise.

___________

Author's note:

Nothing like a declaration of love after a year spent apart to make my heart swoon.

But honestly I would have fallen in love with Naemon... sorry Az...

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #acotar azriel #azriel fic #jealous azriel #fluff #angst #azriel x reader angst #acotar #acotar oneshot #acotar fanfic

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satzumosupremacy · 7 months ago

Text

Ignite The Spark

Male reader x Kazuha

Tags: Friends to lovers, Smut 8.1k words

Friends—that’s what you and Kazuha would call each other. People around often get confused if you two were dating secretly, but in reality, she was just a friend who got along with you to the point of looking like a couple.

And if being friends with the opposite gender isn’t enough to raise an eyebrow by others, you knew the consequences, Kazuha did too. As a man, you couldn’t help but imagine a scenario of her being more than a friend. On the other hand, Kazuha had the same exact thought after years of knowing each you. Although nothing happens romantically, the presence of pride hindered both of you in stubborn ways.

You and Kazuha were prime examples of “right place, wrong time.”

After you transferred to another college for an opportunity that you couldn’t deny, the friendship between both of you slowly disappeared. As curious young adults, it would be a shame just to say the boring and basic goodbyes to each other. Just like how friendships form: thoughts and hobbies alike, her eyes craved more than a mere farewell. You didn’t want this friendship to burden the memories you and Kazuha made.

Both of you yearned for something. That something was in bed. A man and a woman together with the lights off, doors locked, curtains shut. Within a night in the same bed, clothes scattered and the bed creaking, the two of you yearned for this feeling, like you'd never see each other again. It’s a farewell, but a mere excuse. This won’t be the last time you see her.

Morning brought an uncomfortable shift from friends to more than what both of you actually were. As she slept, her beautiful back was turned towards you while you were up and remembered every moment shared on her bed. She was naked under the blanket once your eyes caught her black bra hanging from the dresser and the hair tie. As you took a quick glimpse of her, Kazuha’s silky hair was a mess, all from the night.

Even as a man, you fantasized about what Kazuha would look like, until you did see her naked body and the goosebumps you felt all over her when your hands gently caressed her. Her back became irresistible to your kisses, while her curves and ass demanded more than a simple touch. Her body was deadly hot when all you ever saw was Kazuha with clothes on. This was the woman who you called a close friend, yet it’s far from the fact that you slept with her.

Both of you crossed the line. Both of you can’t look back and change what happened. This was bound to happen between opposite genders that calls each other ‘friends.’

You found a treasure within the so-called friendship. The treasure? It was her body. Kazuha rarely wears revealing clothes at school. Neither did she care about showing herself off like the rest of the woman on campus. You're strucking gold—and it's like the end of the rainbow that anyone would search for. Actually, it's not her body that you love more than Kazuha herself. You respect Kazuha—her essence, her character. There's a bond between the two of you. A long-term friendship that isn't breakable at all, even if it bends or twist.

She didn’t regret being the one who asked first for some intimacy. You didn’t regret that night either. This was probably the last time you would physically be there for her, and only sense of regret was the bittersweet feeling of sleeping with a friend that was close to you, but at the end, it turned awkward. As young, curious adults, no one was to blame.

Kazuha shared an apartment with her roommate, Sakura. The pair rented an apartment conveniently close to the college. Sakura wasn’t at home at the time when you and Kazuha’s hands were all over each other. Maybe Sakura did hear the bed creaking through the wall halfway through after coming back home. It’s something you didn’t want to asked out of embarrassment.

The feelings you gave Kazuha were were unparalleled, when you respect her for being herself around you. She was, and was quiet at first, but when you talked to her more, Kazuha revealed herself to be ambitious and incredibly kind. You love that about her.

At times, she would share her troubles, and so would you. Yet, it became increasingly apparent that the dynamic of your friendship had changed. It's not like how it was. Both of you were maturing and going each other’s separate ways. Life past by quick considering how the two of you knew each other for years, and thinking back about the days you would often meet her. But neither of you forgot about each other.

Kazuha wasn’t so happy when Sakura had her own opportunities to venture out and left Kazuha alone in the apartment. Kazuha could barely manage the bills. Their relationship ended on good terms, but Kazuha was left all alone in the apartment.

Kazuha was all over the place, from modeling to working as a barista and tutoring, the jobs couldn't meet her financial needs. Kazuha eventually found her opportunity after numerous jobs and became a ballet instructor. However, it's still not enough. The income she accumulated merely covered necessities and bills, leaving little room for her own interests and activities.

She frequently found herself seated in her living room, contemplating about your well-being. Like the relationship the two of you have right now, she hesitated to reach out, or ask for something. Kazuha revisited past text conversations with a bittersweet smile, reminiscing about the joy you both shared when your paths were closely intertwined.

Asking for money from her friends was like selling her pride. Despite her concerns, Kazuha maintained a smile and masked herself. She smiled if things didn’t go so smoothly, all hidden from everyone. The smile would fade away once she stepped into her apartment, enveloped by silence and solitude, the smile would turn to a frown. No one was there to comfort her. No one was there to eat across the table. Living alone already carried a sense of loneliness, but when Kazuha was going through this herself, it was rather a feeling of being hit rock-bottom.

——

In the final year of college, you and your friends strolled around town, enjoying the sunshine as you window-shopped and explored. Amidst bustling alleyways lined with food stalls, engaging in multiple conversations and browsing vintage clothing shops, you felt content with your place in life.

The college you switched to was just a ten-minute drive away. Some might consider it trivial when the two colleges are so close, but for you, the opportunity was invaluable. Despite intending to make time to meet Kazuha, you doubted she would be available, likely preoccupied with her own activities. Similarly, Kazuha likely held the same assumption about you. Regardless, both of you led independent lives, and the only thread connecting you was the fading bond of friendship.

Navigating the bustling marketplace alleys and indulging in the aroma of freshly cooked food from vendors, you spot another group of women approaching. Among them, it's Kazuha who catches your eye. Instantly, you feel the urge to reconnect with her as she savors a worry-free day.

"Where are you headed?" Your friend says after settling the bill to the vendor, while the rest of your friends glanced at you with curious expressions.

“Go without me. We can meet later,” you uttered hastily as you approached Kazuha, whose eyes widened at the sight of you after a prolonged absence. "Zuha!"

Kazuha found it unbelievable. Despite living only ten minutes apart, where the likelihood of encountering each other was high, this was the first time in a year. Either of you could have crossed paths while using transportation or walking in opposite directions on the sidewalk, yet remained unaware of each other's presence.

In silence, Kazuha stood, aware that some of her friends recognized you. "What a coincidence," one of them said. Throughout the interaction, Kazuha remained quiet, her mind racing with thoughts of what she wanted to talk with you.

“May I steal Kazuha away for some time?”

Then there's a moment of silence. It was supposed to be a girls' day out, and you suddenly became the antagonist, trying to take Kazuha away from her friends. "Fine... but bring her back home later. We'll give you two some alone time."

The sunlight reflected off Kazuha’s ocean eyes, illuminating a radiant smile that blossomed unexpectedly when your gazes locked. In that moment, Kazuha was oblivious to the world around her, indifferent to the passersby, solely focused on your presence before her.

"Zuha, how... um—." There was a moment of hesitation, a sense of unworthiness lingering, making it feel almost impossible to ask about her well-being. "How have you been?"

"Everything's fine. I'm glad to see you," Kazuha replied, making an effort to conceal her stress.

“Still living with Sakura? May we spend time together today? It’s been long since.”

"Actually, she got a job offer. So now I'm living alone," Kazuha murmurs, her lips pressing together shyly, her gaze drifting downward. "We should catch up with each other."

A faint, pleasant smile graces your lips as Kazuha steals a quick glance at you. "Have you eat yet, Zuha?"

“No,” she murmurs, strolling alongside you with both your hands brushing against each other, as if she yearned to grasp yours and never release them again. Since your departure, she realized that you’re the person she longed for at day’s end. Kazuha learned through the hard times that you were the one she desired, mistaken for a mere friendship and nothing more.

“I’ll take you to a place that we use to enjoy together, Zuha.”

Kazuha lets out a brief chuckle as she presumes it's the restaurant where you and she used to frequent after classes. Even though it's been a while since you last saw her, you can sense she's even shyer now. Yet, your emotions start lingering around her, like a faint spark awaiting ignition by Kazuha—a love destined to blossom.

Entering the restaurant, you settled directly across from Kazuha, the sunlight bathing her in its glow as you awaited the arrival of your orders from the waitress. Amidst the constant flow of people passing by, Kazuha appeared especially radiant in the sunlight, captivating your attention to the point where you couldn't look away. You found yourself dangerously drawn to the woman you call a friend.

"Zuha," you said, causing her to glance up from the menu. In truth, both of you had already memorized the menu, and she found herself unsure of how to act this time around. “You’re kinda beautiful today,” you lamely said, unable to accept her as a friend at this point. You’re trying to deny what your heart wanted.

From a friendship marked by naivety, to a new chapter in the present, the two of you weren't childish young adults anymore after a year. Despite spending considerable time together, pride runs in both of your veins, neither of you could muster the courage to acknowledge the unmistakable feelings that lingered. A crystal clear new beginning.

"Thanks," Kazuha murmurs, cheeks glowing as she gaze to the menu. A stray strand of hair falls in front of Kazuha's face, and you gently brush it aside, tucking it behind her ear. Your gesture only adds to the awkwardness as she finds herself speechless and takes a glance around the restaurant. The look of the restaurant didn’t even change, but Kazuha didn’t know what to do when you’re the one sitting across. Before up to this point in time after a year, she was more talkative and would brag about her day to you right in this restaurant, but now, she couldn’t.

Her cheeks flush under the sun's rays, lips pressing against each other as she fights herself to repay a compliment. The atmosphere becomes silent, apart by the clinking of plates and nearby chatter, she's conscious of her growing feelings towards you.

“By the way, I’ll pay today. Don’t worry,” Kazuha says to break the silence. At the same time, all the stress she had been carrying seemed to slip from her mind. The genuine thoughts of her wanting to live with you becomes her topic of interest that she wanted to ask for months.

“The man should pay, Zuha.”

"You paid last time," she says with a charming smile. The fact that Kazuha remembered such a minor detail from a year ago left you pleasantly surprised.

You sigh, your gaze drifting to her perfectly manicured nails. “I’m still paying. Let me make it up to you for not being there."

“I rather let you make it up with something else.”

“What is it, Zuha?”

The waitress unintentionally breaks the conversation. "Here's your food, enjoy! Don't hesitate to let me know if anything isn't right."

“Thank you,” Kazuha said, followed by you.

The plates shifted, placing your order in front of you, Kazuha's in front of her, and the appetizers to the side. "So, as I was saying... do you mind if I stay with you for the next few days?"

“What do you mean, Zuha?”

"Do you recall that moment we… well, you know, on the bed? It seems like we drifted apart a bit afterward, don't you think? But let's make it up. We were just young adults. We're not quite as young anymore."

“It’s only been a year, Zuha,” you laugh. “You’re welcome to stay with me. Even if our campus is ten minutes away, I’ll drive you there.”

“How long can I crash at your place?”

“Is something going on?” You said, exchanging conversations while eating.

“I’ll let you know when we get to your place.” Judging by her expression, it was evident that she was holding back from saying something.

"Zuha, I want you to know I'm here for you," you reassured her. Even being just ten minutes away, or the online conversations not being as frequent as they once were, you were determined not to lose her again, regretting the past mistake of not being there for Kazuha. "Let's finish our meal, and then I'll take you home with me."

“Weren’t you suppose to send me home at the end of the day?” Kazuha playfully smirks, mischievously laughing with her hands covering her mouth. It was evident that you missed the sight of her smile, yet this time, it undeniably stirred your heart.

“Let your friends blame me, they won’t know it’s you who wanted to stay with me.”

"Your friends are waiting for you too, aren't they?" Kazuha questions. Her presence made you divert your attention entirely away from your friends and focusing it solely on her.

“I guess our group of friends will lose one person for today. What do you say?”

“You’re thinking dirty, aren’t you? A woman coming over, I think it’s clear to say that our friends think we’re up to no good.”

“Sounds like you’re the one thinking dirty, Zuha. I never said we’re sleeping together,” you said playfully, though you did miss the skin-to-skin contact with Kazuha. You couldn’t get her body out of your mind after that night with Kazuha.

She laughs, “see, I never said we’re sleeping together.”

“Finish up the food, Zuha,” you said out of disappointment as she caught you. It wasn’t like Kazuha didn’t wanted to fuck, when it’s clear that bringing a woman over would lead to the obvious.

———

As you walked home together along the sidewalks, admiring the clear blue skies overhead, your hand brushed gently against hers. Kazuha felt her heart race with excitement as your hands unexpectedly intertwined. Throughout the way home, neither of you exchanged words until you arrived inside your apartment. Yet, the unmistakable feeling between you two hinted at the blossoming love being shared.

Kazuha's eyes widened in appreciation the moment you opened the door to your apartment. Her gaze was sweeping across the inviting interior of the apartment. "This is a lovely place," she says, her soft voice filled with genuine admiration as she takes in the cozy ambiance.

“It’s not bad. But I think you should let your friends know you’re going to be with me. Don’t keep them waiting, Zuha.”

“You should do the same.”

“I will. But to bring up that topic from earlier that you wanted to tell me about. What did you want to say?”

From a quick glance at Kazuha, she took a deep breath, standing still with her phone clasped tightly in both hands. Kazuha hesitated, thinking you would brush her off in some way. Despite not trying, she took her chances. “I can barely live by myself. Can I live here with you? I think we both feel lonely sometimes.”

You observe her in silence as she gazes downward at the wooden floor, prepared for the possibility of rejection from the only person she feels comfortable asking without sacrificing her pride. You have no intention of denying her request, especially when it benefits both of you mutually. There was never a fight between you two. Althought there were times of disagreement, its solved quietly with understandment.

“Why didn’t you tell me this stuff that you’re going through?” You said, feeling frustrated for not being there to support her through her struggles. “How long have you been keeping this from me? Don’t you know that I’m only a phone call away?”

“I-I couldn’t tell you out of the blue. I didn’t want to bother you.” Kazuha murmurs and brushes her hair while looking away. “You’re the only person who I can talk to about this.”

You're devastated, as the anger you directed inward for neglecting to check up on her over the past year has transformed into feelings of guilt. Even if Kazuha wasn’t your girlfriend, both of you were just a simple text or phone call away from each other, and yet, an entire year passed without a single conversation. You would blame the college assignments that made you forget about Kazuha, but deep down, you know it would sound like an excuse.

"I'll let you stay, but what can you do to earn it? We can split the rent seventy-thirty. I'll pay the seventy, Zuha." You take her hand, and she looks back shyly. "Was it tough? It's my fault, Zuha."

“I’m not letting you pay more than half. I want to split it even. And like…we did it the first time, shouldn’t it be easier to do it the second?”

“Zuha…,” you said, bewildered in her sudden words, “this didn’t have to go that far.”

Kazuha sits right beside you, close enough to where you’re face to face. She gazes up and down at you with a seductive smile. "Isn't this what friends are for? Am I still your friend?"

“Tell your friends that you’re stay with me,” you said, eagerly wanting to change the topic before both your clothes become off this instant.

“I just want us to catch up. No one knew what we did.”

“Sakura probably heard us, Zuha."

Kazuha slowly puts her hand on your shoulders and down closer to your lap. You were just inches away from Kazuha's face. If there was one mistake you might make, it would be the temptation to kiss her as she gets closer and closer, tempting you to your very limits. "She did. Okay. It was embarrassing when we had this talk."

“Are you still talking to her?”

“I still do. But I never told her about the situation I’m in.” Then the naughtiest of her hands grip and caress your inner thighs.

“Zuha…” Your heart skips a beat.

“I know,” Kazuha looks to the side to avoid eye contact. You gently place your hands on Kazuha’s cheek to turn her back to you and stare at her quietly. Intentionally, she gets closer, tilting her head, and eyes closing to give you a quick kiss. “I missed you. I really do.”

Your adrenaline starts to rush at how she’s seducing you for what’s obvious. Neither had you thought this encounter would be end up this way as you kiss Kazuha from her lips to her neck. The little, cute moans she made were nostalgic for the first time you slept with her. Kazuha’s warm breaths coat your skin, and the gentle touches you felt on your back from her hands were warm. Both of you were fighting for each other's lips.

Despite the small romance, her hands got naughty and gently squeezes to your cock that’s under your clothes. Kazuha teases you, squeezing, stroking it in the most passionate ways that got you groaning by what she’s doing.

“Someone’s hard. Really hard,” Kazuha said, smirking and looking down at what’s waiting for her as she takes heavy breaths. Kazuha gulps and takes a quick glance outside the window, “it’s getting late, we have classes tomorrow. But let’s finish what we started.”

“Is this how we should make it up, Zuha?” You groaned, missing her soft hands on your cock.

Kazuha chuckles, the cute little distinct laughs she made only got you immersed in this feeling for her. "You need this. I need this. For old times sake."

You lifted her shirt off as it’s thrown out of the way for you to kiss her tits hidden beneath her bra. Kazuha lifts your shirt off, and the aggressive passion begins to bloom. “Zuha, let’s put our pride to the side.”

“I want you so bad. Don't you know how much I miss you?" Kazuha says, heavily breathing like she waited for this moment, season after season. She gets off and on her knees to quickly pull your pants down, “how about I get a taste? We can do something on the bed tomorrow.” As you two look each other in the eye, she was full of romance, which you can see the sincerity in those beautiful eyes of hers as Kazuha played it off mischievously.

“The sun is going down, Zuha. Don’t just wait for an answer.”

“How messy do you want to see me?"

You lean closer to her and pull off her hair tie, “It’s hotter when your hair sticks to your mouth, Zuha.”

“So naughty of you,” she smirks and licks the tip of your cock with a smile after. “In my mouth or on my face?”

“In, Zuha. Let’s not make a mess.” It was an excuse when you wanted her to be sucking you off for the whole time. Talking was just the troubling part and you weren’t for the talks. “You’re teasing me, Zuha. Let's not waste any more time."

“What’s the fun without-” and she stopped questioning. It would be best if she started sucking you off instead of wasting more time.

“Zuha,” you groaned, heavily breathing in and out as she bobbed her head slowly. Once you look down at her, Kazuha was glaring back at you with a smile turning into a smirk. “Kazuha.” The wet gags she made while sucking you off were not so innocent at all. You’re enjoying this moment, the way her tongue swirls around and under the tip of your cock, the sensational waves of pleasure that you couldn’t help but grip onto her hair made you moan her name as she starts to deep throat you. "Zuha, just like that."

Even as the sun starts to set slowly, shadows cast into the living room with the windows clearly opened for anyone lucky enough to see Kazuha sucking you off. The beauty she holds on you, slick and silky hair, manicured nails, her angel-like voice, and a well intelligent woman—Kazuha sure did get your feelings involved this time around. She wasn’t someone you’ll call a friend anymore.

The way she sucked you off felt like your breath was being taken, downright dangerously when you’re trying to not cum. But at the same time, the thought of cumming inside Kazuha’s mouth is always a never-ending good feeling, and there’s no way she wouldn’t love your cock throbbing in her mouth for a warm treat she's getting.

Kazuha’s mouth was always sinister, way to seductive whenever the timing was right. If that wasn’t enough, Kazuha’s innocence is another thing that you love about her, but when her warm mouth wraps around your cock, your mind becomes endlessly wanting more.

“Kazuha,” you kept groaning. “Kazuha,” you grunted, teeth clenching. There was something this time that she found more attractive—you calling her name in the most seductive way.

She pulls off and brushes her lip across with her thumb. Yet, Kazuha squeezes your cock, jerking it slowly while looking right in your eyes, “don’t cum yet," Kazuha smiles.

“You’re doing it so god damn good.”

“It’s that a compliment?” Kazuha laughs, and you still find Kazuha’s smile so attractive as she teases your tip with her thumb.

“Enough—” your airway cuts you off, unable to finish what you wanted to say as her lips press against your tip, “talking.”

Her tongue licks the bottom side of your cock up to the tip, and you stared at her smiling right back at you when she knew you’re enjoying it to the fullest. Then, Kazuha spits on your cock, with the messy strands of saliva dripping down to your balls. It wasn’t new where she would go next—down to suck on your balls. Her hands become covered in her own saliva and your pre-cum as she sucks on your balls with your cock in her soft-warm hands.

“I know you’re cumming any minute now,” Kazuha murmurs.

“In your mouth, Zuha,” you said quickly.

She didn’t care if the blowjob wasn’t thirty minutes, but seeing you happy was all she ever wanted in the first place. Neither could Kazuha wait any longer and pushes herself deeper onto your cock. That sinister mouth of hers made you love her even more when you felt the back of her throat.

You held onto her nape, groaning all the pleasures as Kazuha bobbed her head up and down while your cock starts to pulsate, and at last, cum in her mouth. Kazuha stops bobbing and glares at you cumming and panting. “Kazuha,” you groan her name.

You felt her swallowing every load, as much as she can get out of you for tonight. Your hands were still pinning Kazuha in, and you didn’t plan on freeing her, not just yet, until you’re more than satisfied. Kazuha slowly traces your thighs, and the glare she gave you was such an act of seduction.

Kazuha pulls off your cock once you let her, strays of her hair and the evidence of your cum were all over her mouth to her lips. She licks her lips after cleaning her own mess. “So, guess we should just fuck after coming home tomorrow?”

You didn’t mind skipping class tomorrow, but then you would have to worry about Kazuha if she wasn’t willing to be in the same boat. “I’ll pick you up after classes tomorrow?”

“Fair enough,” she laughs, “how should we sleep? Together?”

“Why are you asking that? This isnt our first. My bed is for two."

She kisses your cock, “well, it sounds like some kind of confession.”

And it was when you couldn’t muster up the courage with the weight of pride on your back. “Zuha, tell your friends that you’re with me.” You grab your phone to text your friends after putting your pants on. “Let’s go to bed. Get a good night sleep.”

Kazuha follows right behind you like nothing happened minutes ago, when you saw the different side of her. Not the nerdy, beautiful, and quiet girl, but the horny Kazuha.

“Hey,” she clears her throat, “got a toothbrush for me? Let's make a trip to my place early tommorrow and get some of my belongings."

“I have an extra one in the cabinet,” you pointed at the bathroom that was opened. “Need to shower too? I have extra towels, although you like morning showers, Zuha.”

She wouldn't anticipate you knowing her preferences, and when she knows that you know the smallest details about her, Kazuha blushes and shyly looks down with a smirk. "Just admit you missed me or something," she murmurs.

“I missed you, Kazuha,” you said. Kazuha wasn’t expecting that, but she thought that you would tease her instead. There wasn’t a need to say her name that way, when you call her by her nickname more often.

“I-I’ll be back and we can take turns using the bathroom.”

“Brush our teeth together. Think we obviously know the showers won’t be alone anymore. The bed is less lonely when you’re here now, Zuha.” Again, there wasn’t no need to tease Kazuha, but it was a sly confession.

“The dining table wouldn’t feel so lonely, either one of us will come home greeted. Maybe together also. We’ll have to think about each other when we’re out grocery shopping,” Kazuha added to your teasing.

“Gosh, let’s just go wash up for bed, Zuha. You're lame," you playfully said.

——

The following morning, Kazuha woke you up to start the day. With small, little conversations, you took her to a nearby store for an early breakfast and looked out of the glass window into the sunny morning. Afterwards, you dropped her off at class following a brief stop at her apartment. Neither of you were officially in a relationship, at least not yet, but before she exited the car, she requested a kiss.

Throughout your classes, thoughts of Kazuha consumed your mind and made it difficult to concentrate. Your thoughts wandered to the things you wanted to do with her after so long. Time seemed to drag on, and you anxiously waited when you could finally leave and pick her up from the library, where she waited with her headphones on as she works on her project.

After finishing your class for the day, you eargerly walked out to pick her up and called her the moment you arrived. “Zuha, I’m outside.”

"Okay. Be there in a second," Kazuha says before swiftly gathering her belongings and exiting the library. In her hands, she holds a book, and her backpack is filled to the brim with assignments. Dressed in denim jeans and a black shirt she changed into, she wore glasses that adds to her beauty, giving her a nerdy yet attractive look. It's remarkable how her glasses can make her stand out in a crowd. It's these subtle details that make you see her in a new light. Regardless of whether she intended to look beautiful, you couldn't help but be mesmerized by the woman who slept with you twice.

"Damn," you silently compliment her as she approaches your car. In that moment, you find yourself dismissing the idea of her as just a friend. There's something more, a feeling that goes beyond mere friendship. You want to keep her.

"It's sunny outside, isn't it?" Kazuha remarks, opening the door and taking a seat with her backpack on her lap.

"It is.” Your gaze fixed on Kazuha, captivated despite seeing her in the exact same outfit this morning. Yet, it was the addition of her glasses that caused your heart to skip a beat. It's unexpected, catching you off guard.

“Aren’t you going to drive?” Kazuha says, tilting her head to playfully tease you.

“Take off those glasses. I can’t concentrate,” you said, laughing it off.

“Your cheeks are glowing. Am I pretty? It’s not like you’ve never seen me wearing glasses.” The difference between her current innocent demeanor and whenever Kazuha wanted to fuck was polar opposite. You wouldn’t deny, you love seeing the two sides of Kazuha. “Better hurry, we have things to do at home.”

With a gulp, you shifted the car into drive. In that moment, Kazuha realized that this friendship is blossoming into something more. Despite both of you silently acknowledging the subtle sparks of romance, neither was willing to openly admit it.

As you both step inside your apartment, she shuts the door and locks it quickly. Kazuha waited for this just like you did for the whole day. She urgently drops her backpack and book onto the floor as you wasted no time in pinned her right against the door and lock eyes with each other.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Zuha.” Your hands were rather naughty as you groped her ass and made Kazuha chuckle.

“I could say the same,” she says quietly, and puts her hand on your shoulders. The look she gave you was silent, with the clock ticking loudly within the apartment. Neither did you want to look away from her beauty.

“Bed. Now, Zuha.” You lift her off the ground effortlessly and around her thighs to carry Kazuha. She chuckles softly and leans in for a romantic kiss as you make your way to the bed.

“I don’t think it’s right if we do this everyday,” Kazuha murmurs. “But it’s so right that no one knows about us.”

“Your tone is saying different, Zuha. Doesn’t matter if it’s ten minutes a day." You gently nudge the door with your foot before guiding her to the bed, where you both gently fall onto. "At least this way, we can both find some relief from the stress."

She starts striping off her shirt and pants, and you followed after, dropping it onto the floor with the door opened wide. Kazuha beckons you to come with her fingers and spreads her legs. “Come take off my bra and panties.”

You didn’t hesitate to get on top of her and kisses Kazuha on her abs and up to her armpits for a taste. You unhook her bra while kissing and licking her armpits, then tossed her bra onto the floor. Knowing that she’s also ticklish, Kazuha laughs and moan by your tongue getting a taste of her armpits. “You smell and taste so fucking good,” you mumbled.

“All for you,” Kazuha breathes heavily. Despite her panties still on, you didn’t plan to go down and pull them off, not just yet, when you wanted to get romantic with Kazuha. Your hands slowly reach up her arms, and pin them against the headrest of the bed. She laughs and smiles, “this brings back memories.”

“And you’re not gonna be laughing once I’m deep in you, Zuha.”

“You’re getting me so wet. Do I have to beg for it now?” She looks at you with a smirk.

You look at her body, down to her crotch, and see a small damp area that you made Kazuha have. “Can’t wait any longer?”

“Please,” Kazuha pleads as she looks at your hard cock. You could hear the small little whines she made as you press your lips all over her neck and chest.

Putting your cock inside her wasn’t what you wanted to do just yet, not until you get a quick taste of her pussy. You slowly get down towards her crotch and went in for a taste to be reminded of the succulent taste of Kazuha as her thighs are on your shoulders. She moans and whimpers to the rhythm of your tongue all over her pussy.

“Fuck,” she groans and arches her back. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”

And you knew she was getting impatient. Kazuha waited the whole day, and potentially wanting this more than you did. “So needy, Zuha,” you said and put your cock in slowly.

She moans with her mouth opened in a oval shape. The glare she give you were romantic, and the deeper you slowly went in, her eyes close with her teeth clenching. Kazuha’s pussy stretches the deeper you went, although you weren’t all the way in, she was taking every inch that you give her.

“You’re so tight, Zuha,” you moaned, heavily breathing as you feel how warm it was inside. The feeling of her pussy was like a genuine hug—a warm one that you only want from her. And by how warm it was inside, nothing would ever give you this feeling from another woman.

You love her body. Kazuha doesn’t have a killer body that men fantasize for, but you became fond of her tits. They’re on the smaller side, and you loved them. Her ass was something that you love the most—it’s soft and perfectly round, so slap-able enough to where you’ll kiss her ass for hours after. The beauty of her is when you’re fucking her from behind. The ripples and bounce it makes can only grow more hunger out of you.

“Go deeper,” Kazuha begs as she squeezes your shoulders. So you pushed in deeper until you heard an erotic grunt from her as she places her hand on your stomach to make you stop going further.

Love is pain, but you would argue that the pain was when you’re balls deep inside this woman, questionably, maybe your girlfriend that you didn’t want to admit. You’re deep inside her at the start where she needed to get used to your cock. This wasn’t her first time having you in bed, but it’s been way too long for Kazuha to remember this feeling of your hard cock stretching her pussy.

There’s not a thought about looking away from her eyes, she wanted this, she needed this, she knew that you’re the only man she’ll ever settle down for. This wasn’t a dice roll to see how long a new relationship would last with you, when you were for her everytime she needed someone to talk. Not much talking is happening as of right now though.

“Zuha,” you groaned, thrusting in and out of her walls hugging your cock so tightly. There’s a clear indication of romance by how her hands were all over your shoulders and to your back, and she’s not letting you go.

Was this feeling the same as the first time you slept with her? Definitely.

But this feeling was different when she held onto you so tightly, yet the softness of her not wanting you to pull away from her body as your thighs are locked in by her. Kazuha’s begging you desperately, and the mistake of holding back a simple text message made her blame herself. This was her way of making it up and wanting you to cum inside her.

“You’re so fucking big,” she groans in your ear and kisses your neck while your already balls deep inside Kazuha without the thoughts of being so-called ‘friends.’

You love it—the tightness of her pussy, and it’s not a fluke when she’s just a beauty, but someone you genuinely know with feelings this time around. Even if your cock throbs every few seconds, you would stop deep in her just to fuck her longer.

Kazuha’s arms are around you, they weren’t full of masculinity, but the feminine kind that you can dominate her in the most aggressive ways. It’s not like she would lead anyways when she loves getting a good pounding from you to clear her mind. As your breath gets heavier, she didn’t want you to do all the work, so Kazuha pushes your shoulders gently and you already knew she wanted to ride you. No words, only her eyes made it clear.

She gets on top as you caress her abs, and Kazuha slowly puts your cock in her again, moaning enough for you to only hear and no one else. You grab her arms and pull Kazuha down closer to make her chest to glue on to yours. She starts riding you with passion, and your hands slowly move closer to her ass.

With a quick and sudden spank, she laughs at you seductively with her lips all over yours, and she knew her ass was one of your favorite things to get a hold on.

“So naughty of you, gosh,” Kazuha says, kissing your lips right after.

“So round and juicy, Zuha. Don’t you miss how I touch you?”

“I don’t have to miss it anymore,” she moans.

Either of you still fail to hold a conversation while fucking, and this overly too passionate and romantic when she wasn’t your girlfriend. At least not yet. Your pride makes you hesitate.

Kazuha gets up with her hands leaning on your chest and grinds on your cock faster. Her breaths become heavy, and dangerously, the glares she gives you were lustful to the point of making your heart skipped a beat. She’s a beauty in every position.

You grunted, and she smiles seeing you struggle to not cum. “Zuha, slow down,” you said with a heavy breath and gently take this opportunity to choke her. Just even choking her, she smiles in the most seductive ways. Kazuha never told you that she loves being choked, but it’s not new when you bring a smile to her face when being choked.

She holds onto your arm with both hands that’s choking her neck. “Fuck, it feels so good inside me, Babe.”

Her moans gotten louder, your cock was deep inside Kazuha as she closes her eyes. And by the time you even realize, Kazuha cums. Her legs shake and she tumbles back down with her hair brushing against your shoulders all while you’re still choking her.

And you didn’t catch her slipping the word, ‘babe’ at all. Kazuha couldn’t help it. Her feelings are drawn towards you, and neither did she catch the word she said.

She’s in your embrace before she even knew it after you put your arm around her back. Her moans got more erotic, and you couldn’t help it but pound her even harder. The sounds of her ass bouncing on your thighs were pure ecstasy. You wanted more, you wanted the neighbors to hear this beautiful woman sing the songs of erotica.

“Harder,” she struggles to even speak with your cock penetrating her walls. “Harder, Baby.”

“Bend over. Give me what I love seeing.”

She gets off your cock after your arms were off her, and Kazuha quickly got on all fours as you get behind her. You love how this woman can turn from a nerdy one, to the most horniest yet. She never doubts you doing the naughtiest things to her, and she’s all in for it. All in for you.

You didn’t waste time to put your cock back in. Her walls were well lubricated, ass so round that you wanted to see it bounce in circular motions as you got her on all fours. The best part was that you also get to pull her hair, but the arch she’s doing—the back that you love so much, you could cum in her in this position forever.

Kazuha keeps moaning and moaning, “fuck me, harder!” She screams with her hair being pulled.

With her head bobbing, and ass bouncing to how hard you were pounding her, Kazuha closes her eyes with all the moans filling the room. Only she can make you feel this way, only you can make it right by fucking her in the most passionate yet hard ways that she loves. Her walls were hugging your cock at this point, the feelings of her tight pussy only made you grew hungry as you stare down at her body.

You give her ass a gentle spank, then a harder one, and the obvious and final, a harder one that made her scream erotically with a smile on her face that you couldn’t see.

“Zuha,” you moaned with a heavier breath. You’re tired, but there’s no way when you’re fueled by this woman to keep going. Her body’s addictive, beautifully in all different positions that neither of you can call each other friends after fucking.

You’re in a trance because of this woman. Thoughts run endlessly as you heard her moans muffle, and before you knew it, Kazuha’s moaning her heart out. Kazuha didn’t stop you, she wanted more, she wanted to be pounded by the man she kept yearning for.

So you lift her back up on her knees, back against your chest, the soft gentle chokes you give her neck, and your other hands groping her tits. Kazuha starts riding you, endlessly without wanting this to end all while feeling the warm embrace you give her.

“Make me cum, Zuha. Make me cum. I’ll give it to you.”

From seeing the wicked smile on her face as you’re choking her, she wanted this simple reminder, the reminiscence of the warm cum you gave her a year ago.

“Cum, Baby,” she says, riding and grinding. It was only then, you heard the way she called you for the first time.

“Make me, Baby,” you say back, spicing things up with her.

“Give it to me,” she says, squealing loudly by how hard you’re choking the sides of her neck with your fingers.

Your cock’s throbbing the harder she rides and pounds herself on your cock. The sounds of sex, Kazuha in your arms, the pleasure she’s giving you, and the tightness her pussy has on your cock gets the best of you.

You cum.

Like the time has stopped as she pauses to feel your cock throbbing and giving her your cum that left a memory inside her. “Zuha,” your breath becomes heavy. Grunting as you’re still cumming deep in her.

And the greed she has of you—your balls deep, cumming and giving Kazuha what she wanted. It’s not you who’s deep in her, every ounce of cum dumping deep inside her, but Kazuha. Her ass was glued to your hips, standing on her own two knees as you hugged Kazuha in your arms tightly.

“Mhmm,” she moans.

You’re grunting—hard, hard enough to strain your throat by how much your cock was still throbbing until the last bit of cum you have left for her. “Kazuha,” you whispered and nibbled her ear with a smile. “Kazuha”

She stood still to embrace this memory that she never expected. By being in your arms, your own house, and the love that blossomed quickly within a day or two, it’s a fairytale that turned into reality.

Neither did both of you spoke for seconds, or maybe minutes by how much passion still lingered in the small bedroom with clothes all over the floor. You kept her head titled back so you can get your lips all over her neck, and all she did was embrace your cock still inside.

Her moans became softer, seductively keeping you turned on more to make a mess on her neck. “Do you miss me this much?” She chuckles and hold your arm that’s on her neck.

“Maybe more than you ever thought, Zuha,” you murmur, still kissing her neck and up to her face.

“I don’t think this can be your monthly rent. I want to help you. Getting me naked is just a plus.”

“What exactly are you saying, Zuha,” your lips trace up to her lips for a romantic kiss.

“I’m saying-mhm—” Playfully, you cut her off to speak by shutting her lips closed with yours.

You decided to let her speak, “can’t hear you, Zuha.” You’re curious after all the time spent fucking.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Neither could she confess straightforwardly. The way she saw the love in your eyes were no lies.

“I want to take you out to a restaurant tomorrow. A new one,” you said and pulled your cock out of her. “Don’t go to class tomorrow. Spend the day with me at least.”

“It’s like you’re asking me out,” she laughs. “What’s the point of us acting like we’re getting to know each other? Let’s just skip all that.” She reaches for her clothes to put on.

Neither of you can confess, but it didn’t matter when it’s clear enough. There’s no clouds, no fog, and only the road that both of you see into the future together. She’s not just your friend, you’re not just her friend, but a couple—girlfriend and boyfriend.

“Lay in bed. Let’s rest up for a bit, Zuha,” you say while putting on your clothes with a smirk.

She looks at you mischievously, “missing a day of class won’t hurt. Spending time in bed right now won’t either, right? I could be working on projects.”

"Give your attention to me, Zuha."

"Anyways, let’s split the rent half-half. It's what's right," she places her hand on your chest as you both lay down.

You didn’t give her answer but press your lips against hers. It remains quiet. If she wanted to split the rent half and half, you wouldn’t mind. Her body’s yours to cum inside of.

“So what’s your answer,” Kazuha whispers after you let go of her lips.

“We can talk about it after we move your stuff over here, Zuha.”

#kazuha smut #le sserafim #le sserafim smut #kazuha nakamura #kpop smut

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