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delicatetragedies2 · 2 years ago

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Major Tw ⚠️ Bad Home Life and anything Self Deprecating + Death⚠️

Last post was all over the place. But here I am again… too instead talk about one thing. My home life.

For my whole life I’ve never truly had a stable place to call home. When I was younger I was a little more oblivious to this but the older I got the more miserable I became.

First it was with my mom and stepdad. They hardly ever got along and because of the constant fighting and yelling I grew this hatred and resentment. I used to tell him I hated him during the fights. It would make me feel guilty after but I 11-12 at the time. Just days before my 15th birthday I was the one to come home and find my step dad in the garage on the floor. He committed un-alive and wasn’t able to be saved. It was too late.

About a year later my mom had crawled her way back up and thought she could start over. Get a better life. She started going on dates, getting to know people. Then one day, I’m just supposed to accept and man moving it. I have no idea who he is, but oh boy would I learn. This man, my mom still current boyfriend, raised absolute fucking hell. He’s an alcoholic who thrives on putting people down. I’m 19 now. And still deal with his shit. He ruined the last years of my adolescence and minority. He’s traumatized me to the point I can’t even take my dog barking without my heart jumping to my throat.

This man has thrown things, kicked things, broken things, abused my mom, tried hurting my dog, told me if I brought a kitten home he’d kill it, etc. he’s called my mom and I a bitch. He tells his daughter and me that we’re lazy and do nothing around the house even though he’s The one that hides outside all day to drink after work.

My mom had a baby with him, so now I have a baby brother I feel inclined to protect. This whole situation has made me fall back into old habits. I hide in my room, let it go to filth, sh, can’t eat properly, and cry almost every night. I’ve grown so suicidal, but can’t stand the thought of sitting back beyond the grave knowing my little brother and mother could get abused or even killed.

This man has gotten in my face multiple times that I’ve had to kick him, smack him and scream at him to get away. It’s been to the point that my fiancé has had to block this man from getting too close to me. This man terrified me… and yet my mom says she just pushes his buttons too much. That she pushes things to this point. She blames herself and won’t acknowledge that. She keeps looking for the best in this man because when he doesn’t drink he’s a good person. What she doesn’t understand is that he always goes back to the drink. He always turns to it despite knowing he could have a great life without it. Him and those drinks are who he is. He’s not a nice guy she hopes for.

I’m so done, you know? If I had a way out I’d leave. If I didn’t have a little brother I’d leave. One way or another. But I can’t. I will never forgive myself. So here I am. Hating this man’s guts. I can’t pretend anymore that he’s family. That I like him. That he’s a good person. He makes me sick to my stomach and I want to avoid him at all costs.

What I can’t get over his how hes brought up my dead step father over and over. He always makes us feel like shit bc he says it’s our fault. And on top of that, he will purposely walk around the house with a knife to slit his wrists infront of us. He’ll saunter in a room and just do it like it’s not big deal. Then he’ll mock me and say, “how did you stop? What made you stop? You used to do it sooo much.”

He was never around for the horrid times, and I go out of my way to be miserable to hide it. Like, sorry I have scars. It’s just so triggering that I’m starting it up again. All bc of him.

I literally have nightmares now that he’s killing my mom and I can’t move fast enough or get to her room. Recently I had such a vivid one that her blood curdling screams literally had me waking up in a sweat with the cries ringing through my ear. In the dream all I wanted was for it to stop. For things to not be real. And by the time I woke up, I was in shambles.

I hate my life.

… Also. Just a little extra thing I can never tell anyone. Not even my mother. One night the dude was drunk and I had went out to the garage stupidly. I am lucky nothing happened to me but on that night I was wearing a nightgown and the dude made me sit next to him and kept telling me how I look like my mother. How I’m so beautiful. He kept holding my hands and touched the end of my nightgown. This was so long ago now that it’s irrelevant but it’s stuck with me to this day that it’s just another reason this guy scares me… (And I guess what confuses me after such and interaction is how he is so overprotective if a man even exhibits pedo like actions. Idk if I’m reading too far into that interaction.) All I know is I can hardly stand him after everything.

#toxic people #toxicity #abusiveboyfriend #narcissistic abuse #tw abuse #tw self destructive behavior #i'm so fucking tired #mentally fucked #i am severely unwell #family problems #dont report just ignore #dont report just block #dont report pls #just block me

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fuzzytrashbird · 2 years ago

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life is mean! (this one's a little long)

omg life has been fucking us over so bad these past couple days im gonna SCREAM

every time we get somewhere promising with housing, they're like "Actually,,, ur income is too low" which UNDERSTANDABLE but also WE NEED SOMEWHERE TO LIVE

we only get a total of $1,851 or smthn a month from my mom's SSDI (which we got on monday and is already GONE btw) and we keep getting mail from SSA and thinking it's an update on my hearing for my disability but its NOT it's the same thing twice about how the hearing will work over the phone or via zoom or whatever and it's like !!! please!!!! we need HELP!!!!!

but aside from that, there's ANOTHER whole mess with my bank account which i was supposed to call them about but i forgot bc my sleep schedule is so bad and my brain is so fried from everything weh

basically, the extra money i mentioned i had last update? COMPLETE FUCK UP. the wifi at our hotel had gone out for a solid day plus and when they got it back it was still spotty, whatever. thing was? they didn't get it fixed in the lobby until DAYS LATER. so the "extra money" i had was money from the last payment to them. when i called my bank to be like "hey,,, i have an extra almost 500 in my bank,,, but all my transactions look right,,, whats going on" they were basically like lol we don't know but congrats! what i had to look at and learn MYSELF was that the transactions in my online banking don't fully go through until days to a week later. and when they go through, they don't show on the day they were initially created and the money was taken out, they show on the day it finalized, with a little thing saying like "9/10 [business]" and I DIDNT LOOK AT THE NUMBERS I JUST LOOKED AT THE BUSINESS LIKE YEAH THAT LOOKS RIGHT and the bank person i ended up talking to who went through my transactions to make sure they were right DIDNT MENTION IT EITHER.

anyway i'm now almost 400 in the red in an account that wasn't supposed to be able to be overdrawn. so that's COOL.

i'm fully aware its like 95% my fault for not looking closer, then spending the money, but i'm giving 5% blame to the bank guy who didn't mention dates from when the transaction first went through but when it's listed as finalized.

my mom also just had to like. cancel her current card this morning and get a new one bc some microsoft thing went through her bank account that she did not have and when she got an email abt it and tried to log in to cancel it it gave her some email to log into microsoft with that she's never heard of and that's WEIRD so we're hoping nothing else comes of that. also it's the second time she's had to get a new card since we've been here lmfao

anyway, all this to say; life is awful rn lol

we still need to stay in the hotel for another week or longer, which means we still need money. if anyone is willing to help us, it will be be greatly appreciated! i'll only be using paypal to accept payment at this time, as i can't exactly use my bank acc and i do have a paypal debit card luckily.

it's around $475-495 (last time they charged me like 474, before it was 492, idk anymore lmfao) for a week in our room. we have until tuesday to get the money. if anyone can help, it will be very appreciated.

commissions open as always! feel free to contact me here, on instagram, or go through kofi commissions

oh boy

hello again!

assuming you saw this post and the follow up reblog, you know my life’s been a little hectic. upon paying my landlord the $425, he was like “yeah ok now give me $1,050 by next week or I’ll evict you”. which. rude. but we had a check coming this week so we had hopes. but upon buying food to, y’know, live on, we dipped into the rent money. the landlord is now evicting us and unwilling to budge, except if we give him 400, which will only buy us a week to move out. we’re selling our car, which currently isn’t working anyway so we aren’t using it, and that’s giving us around 200-300 for it because it’s a wreck (old). we’ll have that money covered with what we have already and the car, but we’ll have around 300 bucks to get a storage unit, buy boxes, and find somewhere to stay with our cats. luckily, it seems, at least for now, shelters aren’t in the cards.

i’m not begging for money as urgently this time, it’s technically less desperate, but still is desperate. so if anyone is willing to queue in for my commissions to help us pay for what we need to get through stuff, it’d be really appreciated. there’s no particular amount we need at this moment, but anything helps!

so, if anyone is interested in commissioning me, or just wants to share my info to help, it’d be appreciated!

All my info, from art examples to commission info, is on this neat little site here https://fuzzytrashbird.art/

and here’s my commission pricing!

#open commissions #art commissions #commissions #commissions open #digital art commissions #comms open #art comms open #homeless #life update #i had really hoped to be at the end by now #but alas #we continue

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years ago

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Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny

P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)

Words: 4,641

Series’ Masterlist

Book V // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker

Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.

"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"

"Shut up!"

"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"

"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."

"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.

"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.

"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.

"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.

"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.

"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."

"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"

"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"

"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.

"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."

The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.

Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.

They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.

Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.

"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"

"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"

"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.

Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."

"You're joking... right?"

"Erick," The woman repeated.

"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"

Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.

"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"

"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."

"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.

"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.

"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"

"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.

"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"

"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"

"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."

"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.

"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."

"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.

"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.

The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...

It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.

Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."

"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."

"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."

Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.

"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"

"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.

"They take turns," Her mother sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.

"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."

"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"

"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.

"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.

It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.

"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"

"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"

"Go ahead..."

She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.

"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"How lucky I am."

Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.

"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."

He smiled, unbothered.

"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."

"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."

"You'd make a cute princess."

"C'mon —"

"I mean it."

"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."

He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?

She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.

Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."

He nodded shortly.

"We can talk later?"

He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.

"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.

"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."

The Ministry of Magic

PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES

The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.

"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."

"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"

"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."

The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.

The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.

Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.

"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"

She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.

"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."

"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"

"Certainly."

"To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.

"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."

"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."

"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.

Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.

"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."

The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.

"Can I hear what this is about first?"

Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.

"A word, then?"

Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.

"You can stay."

The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.

"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.

The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.

"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."

Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.

"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."

"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.

"Alone?" Mel frowned.

Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.

"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."

"Yes."

"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."

"I don't see —"

"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."

"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"

Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.

"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."

"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.

"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."

"What about my animagus lessons?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."

She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.

"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"

"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."

"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."

"What about Harry?"

"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."

"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"

"You can't."

Erick looked at her irritated.

"It's not like you can do magic outside school."

"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"

"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."

"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"

"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.

"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.

Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.

"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."

"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."

"Very well."

"You're quiet."

"I have a lot to think about."

Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.

The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.

"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.

"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.

"Won't you?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't ask me to stay?"

Harry stared at her.

"No."

He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.

Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.

She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...

"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."

"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."

"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"

She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.

Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.

"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."

"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"

"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"

"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."

In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.

They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...

Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.

He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.

Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.

"I should go."

"Yeah..."

"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."

"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."

Harry laughed.

"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."

"It's July!"

"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."

"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"

"Yeah, but now's different."

"Different how?"

"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"

Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.

"What?" Harry tilted his head.

"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."

"What?" He asked again, this time softer.

"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."

Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."

A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.

"Be careful."

"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."

Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.

It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.

"I can't do it — We haven't talked about the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"

"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"

"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.

"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"

"— I care for you too —"

"— But just —"

"— as friends!"

They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.

"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."

"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"

"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"

"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"

"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."

"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"

Emily stopped folding her clothes.

"Something nagging that head of yours?"

"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."

"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"

"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.

"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."

Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."

"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."

"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."

"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.

"You don't need lots, just the right one."

Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:

"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."

Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"

"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"

The woman sighed.

"Only once."

"When?"

"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."

"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.

"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."

Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.

"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."

"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."

Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.

'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.

Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."

"This one's the first we do with permission."

"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."

"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"

"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."

"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter xoc #harry potter fanfiction #WITT fic

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stargazer-balladeer · 5 years ago

Text

Crush [Pokémon]

[Steven Stone x Female! Reader]

Inspired by: Crush - David Archuleta

Note: I decided to upload my works from both Quotev and Wattpad here. Hope ya’ll don’t mind :) And I hope ya’ll enjoy this (bc Steven Stone is my husband -///w///-)

Warning: none

[Y/N] groaned as she entered her apartment with exhaustion written in her face, it was a tiring day for the young lady. Constantly getting told to do this and that and this and that, constantly running around to do some errands for her stupid boss and getting told off for not doing her job right. It's just not her day today. She sighed as she removes her shoes and leaves it on the welcoming mat near her door, as she groggily stomped her way in her apartment. It was a relatively small apartment but a shelter nonetheless. It has a kitchen, dining table, living room, bathroom and bedroom. And it fits with her daily salary so win-win.

[Y/N] plopped down on her [F/C] couch as she laid down on one of the cushions, face plat on it. And then she screamed at it, getting rid of her frustration easily. Then she hears her PokeNav vibrating on her bag. She looks up to look at the time, only to see it's quarter to midnight already. She groaned once again. "Who the hell is calling me this late?!" Catty, Delcatty, purred as she jump to sit with her master. "Hey Catty." [Y/N] greeted while petting Catty on the head, which made the cat-like Pokemon purr more. With one hand, she rummaged her bag for her PokeNav and once found, pulled it out. She didn't bother to check her caller's ID as she pressed the green button and put it on her ear.

"Hello, who is this so I'll know who to murder tomorrow." "That's one way to say hello." [Y/N] jumped when she heard a familiar laughter coming from the PokeNav, and feeling her heart jumping from her chest. "S-Steven?! H-Hey!" [Y/N] laughed weakly, now embarrassed that she told her childhood friend that. "Hey to you too, [N/N]."

[Y/N] and Steven were childhood friends, having met accidentally on Meteor Falls. They were on a Journey at that time, and coincidentally bumped into each other. Catty was still a Skitty back then, and wanting to evolve it must've been the reason why [Y/N] was there in the first place, looking for a Moon Stone. Ever since then, they've been close friends. You can say they were rivals, though [Y/N] never participated in the League challenge. Now that Steven was the current Champion of Hoenn and [Y/N] starting to work, they've hardly talk anymore. So [Y/N] was surprised to have received a call from Steven so late in the night where they're supposed to be sleeping.

"What's up? Why'dya call this late?" [Y/N] asked as she brings her knees up and hug them with one arm, while the other held her PokeNav to her ear. Catty curled up beside her and fell asleep. She hears Steven humming on the other side. "I don't really know. I just have this sudden urge to hear your voice." [Y/N] feels her face heating up from Steven's blunt statement. If her heart was beating rapidly awhile ago, now it's beating thrice as much than normal that [Y/N] thought it's gonna burst out of her chest.

"W-Wha--?" "Besides.. we haven't been talking to each other for a while now... and.. I just miss your company." "I swear Steven if your doing this purposely, I'll go there and kill you myself" [Y/N] took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, before smiling. "I also miss talking with you, Steven." The other line went silent, which worried [Y/N], thinking she must've said something wrong. What she doesn't know is that Steven was dying of heart attack from the other side. "H-Hello..? Steven? You still there?" Steven snapped out of trance as he hears [Y/N]'s voice from his PokeNav. He shakily took a deep breath before answering his crus-- friend.

"Sorry. I thought I saw something." Steven lied while staring at the view from the window of his office. He's been doing paperwork for a while now, and he needed a break. Then he remembered [Y/N] and decided to call her, and suddenly remembering that its quarter to midnight when he click her number. He actually prayed to Arceus that [Y/N] was still awake or else he might feel the wrath of the woman again. He learned his lesson, he swear, he just forgot from the fatigue building inside of him. "Oooooh. Is it a ghost?" Steven chuckled as he shake his head. "Nah. I'm just seeing things."

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"You did what?" [Y/N] laughed along with Steven as he told her a story between what happened to the dinner of the Elite 4. It turns out it became eventful as Steven watches it unfold while eating his food. It started out simple and fine, no chaos. But Sydney and Phoebe started fighting about something and started throwing food at one another, but it seems like one hit Glacia. And the fight started. Drake also joined in as food were thrown everywhere. "I'm serious! I was merely enjoying my food while they fight." Steven laughed as [Y/N] giggle.

Soon it became silent for the two of them, neither speaking. You can even hear the background noises. Steven took a deep breath, it’s now or never. “Say... [N/N].” Steven called with a shaky smile. [Y/N] hummed in response, letting the platinum-haired man know that he has her attention. “What if.. you have a crush on somebody.. but you don't know what to how to tell them?” Crack. That was all [Y/N] could hear. The cracking sound of her breaking heart, as she lets out a shaky laugh.

“W-Wow! Y-You? Having a crush? What a surprise!” [Y/N] feigned surprise as she feels her eyes getting blurry. She could hear Steven laughing on the other side. “I-Is that so surprising?” [Y/N]’s [E/C] betrayed her as a tear came out and began rolling down her cheek. She swiftly wipe it as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. What she didn’t know however is that Steven could feel something was wrong with [Y/N].

“[N/N]? Are you alright?” Steven asked, worried about his friend. [Y/N] forced a smile on her face, even though Steven couldn’t see her. “I-I’m fine.” She reassured him, well, tried to atleast. Steven knew she was lying but decided to shrug it off. “Y-You just got to go with it. If that girl doesn’t like you, then she i-isn’t worth it.” [Y/N] responded to Steven’s question. “I-I gotta go. I need to sleep. Bye Steven.” [Y/N] simply said. Before Steven could protest though, she already hung up.

[Y/N] threw her PokeNav to the table in front of her and hugged her knees closer to her chest, bursting into tears while doing so. “I-I should be happy! W-Why the hell am I crying for?” She whined as she used her sleeve to wipe away the tears overflowing from her eyes. But as she wipe them, more tears came. Catty woke up from [Y/N]’s cries as she puts her paws on her thighs and whined her name to get her masters attention. [Y/N] looks at her with a pained look on her face, which Catty returns with a concerned face.

“O-Oh Catty. I’m a horrible person..” [Y/N] trailed off as she hiccups and sniff. Catty whined her name as she tries to comfort [Y/N] the best she could.

Meanwhile with Steven. Steven stared at his PokeNav, which was beeping, signalling that his friend hang up on him. He frowned deeply as corncern and worry overtook his face, his fatigue long gone now. “What happened to you, [N/N]?” Steven whispered as he stuffed his PokeNav into his pockets and standing up. He grabbed his jacket from the rolling chair and put it on. The only thing in his mind is [Y/N].

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“[N/N]? Are you in there? It’s me, Steven! Open up!”

[Y/N] groaned as she blocks out the noise, not wanting anyone in her apartment just yet. It seemed like [Y/N] fell asleep while crying. Steven, who was outside of her door, frowned when he didn't hear anyone inside the apartment. He's been here for quite a while now, constantly knocking and calling for her. One neighbor opened their door to see what was the noise all about, which Steven sheepishly explained. Steven tapped his foot repeatedly on the concrete floor beneath him while eyeing the door. "[N/N]! Open the door!" Steven called for the sixth time now, getting annoyed.

When [Y/N] still didn't open her door, he sighed, bringing his hand to his forehead. "I'm so sorry, [N/N] for doing this but since your not opening your door.. I have no choice." Steven mumbled as he brought out a familiar looking red-and-white capsule from his pocket. He pressed the button on the middle and it became the size of a tennis ball. "Come on out, Metagross." Steven called as he threw the Pokeball upward and out came the familiar Steel-type Pokemon. It made a noise, similar to a wondering sound. Probably curious why its been let out. Steven smiled apologetically at it.

"Sorry to disturb you, Metagross. But do you mind using Psychic to open the door? [N/N]'s not answering the door, I'm afraid." Steven explained to the Steel-type Pokemon. "This is actually invasion of privacy but it must be done." Steven mentally gulped as Metagross obeyed Steven and started using Psychic on [Y/N]'s door. After a few minutes, it opened. This made Steven grin. He turned to Metagross. "Thank you very much, Metagross. Have some rest." After he said that, he returned Metagross to its Pokeball. Steven put the Pokeball back to his pocket as he entered [Y/N]'s apartment.

"[N/N]? Sorry to intrude but you weren't answering so I had Metagross to use Psychic on your door.. Hope you don't mind." "OF COURSE I WOULD MIND! THIS IS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY STEVEN!!" [Y/N] mentally screamed when she heard footsteps coming near. [Y/N] pretended to sleep as she felt Steven's gaze on her. Steven sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. Steven stared at her sleeping face, now noticing dark bags under her eyes. He frowned at this as he crouch down to level her face. He lifts his hand to run his thumb underneath her eyes, which made her (accidentally) flinch. Steven quickly drew his hand, afraid that he might've woken her up. But he saw she's still sleeping, he sighed in relief, still not noticing that she's awake the entire time.

Steven stared at her face with a deep thinking face as he watch her breath, not creepy at all (-_-). He sighed as he ran his hand over his hair once again before settling on the back of his neck. "Why did you react like that over the phone?" Steven mumbled, whether he's really asking her or talking to himself, [Y/N] doesn't know. She just remain sleeping. Catty woke up when Steven entered, she went away to give her master and Steven alone time (I swear Delcatty is more aware of their situation--). He took a deep breath. "Why did you react when I asked you about me liking someone?"

[Y/N] was internally panicking in her mind, and trying to calm her still beating heart. BUT her nose pick up something that it made her sneeze. This made Steven jump in surprise, while [Y/N] is more embarrassed than ever. "WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME NOSE?! YOUR MY PARTNER! YOUR A PART OF ME FOR ARCEUS' SAKE!!" She then heard Steven chuckle. "Cute." Steven whispered, which made [Y/N] open her eyes. "What?"

Now this made Steven jump in surprise, he practically stood up while staring at [Y/N], with wide-eyed and mouth agape. "Y-Y-You're--?!" [Y/N] sweatdropped as she sheepishly laughed. She made a surprise motion with her hands. "Surprise!" She announced weakly. Steven stared at her before heating up. "D-Did you h-hear what I s-said?!" [Y/N] looks away, which is enough for Steven to realize that she was aWAKE THE ENTIRE TIME. "W-W-WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?" Steven couldn't help screaming while asking, more embarrassed than her. [Y/N] sheepishly laughed. "I..."

Steven sighed as he took a deep breath, effectively calming himself down. He stared at [Y/N]'s [E/C] eyes before looking away. Both of them were covered in silence as neither talked, probably too embarrassed at this point. Steven broke the silence with a cough, whether to get her attention or clearing his throat, [Y/N] doesn't know. But it made her snap to the flustered Stone. She quirk her brow at his odd behavior, almost like a lovesick puppy.

"Y-You said over the phone that I should... be front about my feelings.. c-correct?" Steven nervously said as [Y/N] tilted her head before hesitantly nodding her head. Her mind conjuring all kind of scenarios, none of them with Steven returning her feelings though. He took a deep breath before weakly smiling at her. "T-Then.. would you like to b-be my date for the upcoming Champion's ball?" "Oh? Sureee.... wait... date?!" [Y/N] screamed the last part as Steven sheepishly nodded his head.

[Y/N] froze, blinking once, twice, thrice.. Before gasping, face overheating and staring at Steven with a shock expression on her face. This action made Steven think that she doesn't return his feelings, as he smiled sadly. "I-It's okay if you don't agree though.. I understand.." Steven trailed off while looking away from her. [Y/N] stared at him, her mind unable to understand his words yet. When her mind finally caught up, her eyes became blurry as tears started pouring out of them.

Steven's head snapped to her when he heard her sniffle, only finding her in a crying mess. Did his confession be THAT bad?! Steven quickly went to her side and gather her form in his arms. He rubbed her back in a soothing matter as he comfort her. "Are you alright, [N/N]?" [Y/N] then started laughing in delight, which made Steven confused. "Actually, better question is, is your mind okay?" Steven rephrased, now fearing his friend's sanity. She shook her head as she drew back from Steven's warm hug. She has a big smile on her face and affection and adoration dancing in her eyes. Steven could feel his heart beating more rapidly than before, and feels his face heating up. "Of course I'll go with you to the ball, Steven." She laughed. This made Steven hug her with a huge smile also present in his face, laughing alongside her. "Oh Arceus! You don't know how my heart stopped at that moment." [Y/N] hugged him back as her laughter became giggles, before stopping entirely.

"I-I-I thought.. you liked.. May." [Y/N] asked, now remembering why she thought Steven didn't like her. Steven furrowed his brows. "May? She has a crush on Brendan though.." Steven stated, remembering the cheery brunette girl. [Y/N] was now embarrassed, not realizing that the cute brunette girl has a crush on the Gym Leader's son. "Ah.. is that so.."

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"Who knew that this started with a crush.." [Y/N] laughed as she and Steven enjoyed the view from Mossdeep Space Station, watching a meteor shower together. It's been a 2 years since they've started dating, and became official. Now, [Y/N] was living with Steven in Mossdeep and Steven now being the Devon Corporations new president, after his father retired due to old age. Wallace managed to beat Steven, effectively gaining the title of the new Champion. Steven would admit that he was saddened at the fact that he wouldn't be a Champion anymore, but he was glad that Wallace beat him though. It means spending more time with his precious girlfriend. Steven laughed alongside [Y/N] as she cuddled beside him.

"We were like teenagers in love." Steven chuckled, [Y/N] laughed even more at what he said. After their laughter died down, plastered on their face was a content look with a smile. "Hey.. do you mind getting off me for a second?" [Y/N] pouted at this as she complied and move away from Steven. "I'm not heavy!" "Says who?" Steven snickered as [Y/N] hit his arm while glaring at him and huffing, returning her gaze at the sky. Now that she's distracted, Steven quickly grabs the velvet box from his coat. It's now or never after all..

[x] Main Page || [x] Pokemon RSE, Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Page

#pokemon #pokemon x reader #steven stone #steven stone x reader #pokemon steven #self req❣️

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chrysalizzm · 4 years ago

Text

i uh. realized people follow me now because of uh. you’re human tonight on ao3 asdjgfs

i have content!! behind the scenes content as promised. i do outlines for my fics as a general rule of thumb just because i personally can’t write things to a satisfying finish if i don’t Do That, and so - here are my chapter/plot outlines for you’re human tonight ^^ (i have no idea if this is interesting content or not i thought i’d put it out there because i think outlines are kinda fun hhhh)

chap 1 fundy

subtitle: an inkling

fundy makes an iron golem gone wrong, dream makes it go boom

chap 2 purpled

subtitle: uh oh social interaction

purpled shelters a fugitive, gets his house explosion-proofed as thanks

this is probably gonna be the only chapter with a funny title hh oh well

update: it’s not and i’m pleased with myself for branching out with my dry humor

chap 3 sapnap

subtitle: dust to dust

sapnap’s dying via wither effect, and he knows respawn’s around the corner but goddamn if it doesn’t hurt til then. dream skids in around the nether fortress corner, drops all his weapons cradles sapnap’s head in his hands, has always taken death much harder than anyone sapnap’s ever met. at the last few seconds, when death creeps up like a shroud, dream starts to hum to him hoarsely, pressing his forehead to sapnap’s, and in the final moments sapnap doesn’t hurt at all. the last thing he hears is dream whimpering. he visits dream’s bunker the next day, knocks on the door over and over, but there’s no sign of life there. sapnap shrugs, bites his lip out of guilt for forcing dream to sit there watching him die (if temporarily), and moves on.

the chapter that introduces dream’s primary ability of soothing hurts. put a lot of emphasis on the fact that sapnap ached up until the moment dream started humming, because for dream to do that is pretty frivolous considering once sapnap died he’d respawn and the hurt would just disappear but dream wanted sapnap to have a peaceful last few seconds. emphasize how abnormal it is that withering stops hurting.

chap 4 ponk

subtitle: beaches dry of sugarcane

dream visits ponk after george burns down the first tree. when ponk arrives to the second tree to move in, he realized dream made the tree flourish, grow healthier and bigger.

chap 5 sam

subtitle: fuck this shit i’m out (edit: the official subtitle is “oh god oh fuck”, i changed it last-minute)

dream picks sam’s brain for manhunt strategies while the latter is mining for redstone. sam stumbles upon a spawner and reels back, trips, nearly misses the moment dream sweeps him behind him and his eyes flash beneath the mask and when sam gets back up, dazed, there’s nothing but the splay of cobwebs all over the walls.

chap 6 punz

subtitle: lines drawn

in an unrelated skirmish, punz drives his sword up to the hilt in dream’s chest, relying on respawn for dream to not feel any pain and for punz to get paid. dream doesn’t die. this is understandably alarming.

can we get some funnies in chap? just a few laughs?? a lil funny for mr luke punz man?

can we get some panicky dry humor for real tho because punz strikes me as someone who copes with morbid humor and dream spluttering up blood is def a situation that punz would not know how to deal with

chap 7 wilbur

subtitle: so about that date

wilbur makes platonic moves on dream while dream fake texts his fiance under the table. wilbur also accidentally vents to dream about his little brother tommy and how afraid he is that tommy will get himself hurt for how reckless he is. dream siphons some of his anxiety from him, smiles as they depart from one another. wilbur notes that dream is shaking when they leave.

chap 8 skeppy

subtitle: get wrecked noob

dream walks skeppy through some pvp. when skeppy demands a rematch w tommy and gets a lil stage fright kinda sorta thing, dream siphons his anxiety and his nerves and goes full soccer mom with bad and skeppy loses 5-2 but like!! he won!! against tommyinnit!! HH

is there any mental image nearly as powerful as dream wastaken, the soccer mom

chap 9 jack

subtitle: mandatory volunteering

after tommy goes on another one of his destructive rampages lmao, dream enlists jack, newest-comer, to help him rebuild stuff bc underclassmen have to do whatever upperclassmen tell them to do thems just the rules. after rebuilding a statue near the community house, dream pats it fondly, and when tommy sneaks back to set in on fire for shits and giggles, he finds that it’s fuckin fireproofed AGAIN

rebuild efforts, i promised monuments rebuilt so thats what theyre gonna fuckin Get

chap 10 antfrost

subtitle: twist the knife

ant on what ends up being an unpublicized manhunt: dream stops the manhunt because he’s triggered a raid and by the time the hunters get there, alarmed by the screaming and the fire and dream’s unresponsiveness, the villagers are all dead and there are raider corpses everywhere and dream is lying near the bell on his side, whimpering. (what the hunters don’t know - dream tried to fight off the raid but was overwhelmed and witnessed the village get slaughtered, he took the pain of the villagers that weren’t dead but were dying.)

segment: There’s a reason they do the manhunts, and it’s not just for them to horse around and try to kill one another for a few days. Antfrost is the newcomer but he’s always been good at reading people and from the outset he knew that Dream was someone filled to the brim with the restlessness that characterizes humans, that never-settling wanderlust, and his brain works too fast for the rest of his body sometimes, and he just needs an outlet. It’s part of why he eggs Tommy on in their little war games, why he holds onto those discs even though he doesn’t need them, why he gets that delighted look on his face when someone tells him that Tommy’s griefed them or stolen from them or otherwise ruined their morning. Antfrost thinks the only times he’s ever really seen Dream silent, Dream waiting, Dream unmoving, are when Dream is

chap 11 karl

subtitle: head in the shallows

karl, sapnap, george, and dream have a sleepover after mcc 11. karl, nearest to dream, wakes up when dream starts tossing and turning from a nightmare. when he tries to shake dream awake, dream’s eyes fly open and he slams his fist into the wall behind him and the earth, the literal earth, the entire slab of it, shudders like an earthquake. sapnap and george sleep like the dead, so it’s just karl and dream staring at one another. finally karl asks, concerned, “do you want some tea or water or anything?”

chap 12 hbomb

subtitle: a maid’s burden

“i want to dress up as a maid for fundy,” says hbomb with false bravado. fundy’s fiance levels a very impassive look at him for an awkward minute or two and just when hbomb thinks he’s misread dream and fundy’s relationship dream says “i’ll get you a wig” and the entire chapter is just dream idly twisting the fabric of reality to get hbomb the items he needs to put the outfit together

pranks, i promised pranks, theyre gonna get pranks

chap 13 alyssa

subtitle: message in a bottle (edit: official subtitle is “ship in a bottle”)

alyssa’s leaving, at least temporarily.

alyssa tells dream it’s getting dangerous on his server, doesn’t relish the expression that brings to his face, but he holds her hands and nods and bids her safe journey. when alyssa returns, running for something (later we’ll learn she had heard that dream was bad, that he might be dying), she finds that her house is completely inaccessible by everyone save her, placed in complete stasis by someone.

start of the chapters leading up to festival arc. build unresolved tension in this one.

chap 14 niki

subtitle: life doesn’t discriminate

wilbur and tommy are relentless, they waste no time; niki is willing to wait for it.

the night before the duel, she goes to dream and holds a sword to his throat and demands he call it off, even though she knows it’ll mean little because of respawn, tells him she won’t stop hunting him down until he gives up l’manberg. dream smiles a little sadly and pats her hand and her fright, her rage, it simmers back down, and the anger that had swarmed her and made dream out to be the devil dies down until it’s just her friend, who was playing along with tommy til it got serious and he got cocky, who’s just as in over his head as she is, and maybe niki’s soft but she likes that about herself, that she’s always the first to forgive. niki is looking at the healing cut on dream’s neck, uncovered by any bandages, when dream shoots tommy, a clean shot that causes no suffering.

a long chapter, probably. i think at some point in this i want to mention niki’s respect for dream for apologizing during the first pet war, for not letting things get any bigger until fundy came back. some parallels can be drawn here - that dream let the fire die down in the initial stages of the pet war, that dream won’t let go of the l’manberg war now, and it occurs to niki that she doesn’t know dream nearly as well as she thinks she does if she expected him to act exactly the way he did during the pet war. she’s got what she’s wanted - dream’s remorse, proof of dream’s humanity - even though it’s not in the form niki wanted it.

chap 15 eret

subtitle: crown of thorns

the king in name only consults with the true leader.

they’re both upset about pogtopia’s exile, eret arguably more so because they think their early betrayal of l’manberg somehow butterfly-effected into the current dumpster fire, and as they talk eret works themself into a full panic attack reflecting on things that were, things that could’ve been - and the tide washes out all of a sudden, and eret’s left with the same looming hollowness they’d been feeling before, no dregs of the panic, they’ve never had a panic attack that left them feeling normal after - but dream is now wheezing like he’s about to die and eret immediately walks him through the panic attack, levelheaded even as they’re confused out of their mind.

chap 16 quackity

subtitle: water to blood

quackity is a snake in the grass.

quackity at schlatt’s side during the few weeks of his presidency. he knows schlatt from before, has been his friend, so he knows when his friend is acting off. the cynical, straight-faced humor is still there, his completely bland delivery and brazen showmanship, but it’s twisted to the left somehow, to make it so that those qualities that make up his friend have rotted, hurt people. quackity eventually goes to dream after schlatt first overdoses with a lot of questions, maybe even to confess that his allegiance has begun to shift because he can’t go to pogtopia and he can’t go to schlatt - and dream just gives him a long, sad look before lightly patting quackity’s shoulder and says “i can’t guarantee anything - just that you’ll be safe” and shooing him off and as quackity heads back to manberg he realises all the hostile mobs are avoiding him like the fucking plague.

it’s big q!!!! fattest ass in the cabinet!!!!! pog!!!

fun fact this chapter’s subtitle was almost “chekhov’s gun” until november fucking 16th of 2020

chap 17 tommy

subtitle: most disputes die and no one shoots

tommy learns how a legacy dies.

a compendium of tommy watching the madness consume wilbur. it needs to be emphasized in this chapter that wilbur becomes an entirely different person when they’re ejected from manberg, that he becomes obsessed with the legacy he’s created and watching it crumble is what twists him; when dream gives tommy his crossbow, tommy, out of desperation and a need to have an older sibling again, asks what’s wrong with wilbur; dream’s face hardens and he asks tommy to take dream to wilbur. it’s a terse meeting, the only one they have before techno and before wilbur completely loses it and demands the tnt; wilbur says a lot of things tommy doesn’t understand (it’s complex mythological jargon hinting at dream’s status as a god but could be misconstrued to refer to dream’s status as simply the world owner) and at one point wilbur sneers, “are you trying to play god, dream?” and dream lurches forward and grabs wilbur by the wrist, and there’s a completely silent moment where tommy feels the air suck out of his lungs and there’s an off buzzing in his ears and he fancies he hears something that sounds, just a bit, like dream, whispering desperately wilbur wilbur wilbur it’s me it’s me listen listen listen then a shrieking, acrid wave of no and tommy reels back and when he looks up dream has staggered back, his hand to his mouth, blood dripping from somewhere beneath his mask, sounding like he’s gagging or maybe he’s sobbing, as wilbur shrieks in a voice that is entirely not his “get out get out if i can’t have l’manberg...” and tommy understands, finally, as dream sprints out. that’s not wilbur.

a distinction needs to be made perfectly clear in this chapter, as with schlatt’s chapter: it’s not them. they’ve been twisted out of control by something bigger than them, something that wants to toy with the young god running an oasis of peace for his people. it doesn’t need to be outright said in this fic; in another we can delve into the madness and who did it and why. for now, just make it clear it’s not explicitly anyone’s fault.

chap 18 techno

subtitle: colosseum

dream had to let techno in first, you know.

techno and dream have interacted often - the duel, the championships, they’re friends more than acquaintances now. but techno was called in by someone wearing his brother’s face that he honestly doesn’t recognize from his voice and when he arrives at spawn, before tommy fetches him, he sees dream sitting cross legged waiting for him and they talk about the situation, dream giving techno a quick brief. when tommy comes, crying “techno, this way, this way to pogtopia”, and crossbow bolts are being fired at techno, dream gives him a lil wave goodbye (or what techno thinks is a lil wave goodbye but what actually turns out to be putting a swiftness effect on him).

“that’s not my brother, dream,” says techno, and dream’s mouth wobbles and he says, hoarse, “i know.”

techno Suspects, but only knows that dream has world-manipulating powers and thus standard minor god powers. he doesn’t let dream know he suspects.

chap 19 bad

subtitle: run devil run

bad trusts dream, perhaps against his better judgement.

dream comes to visit bad and skeppy on neutral grounds in the interim leading up to the festival that everyone on the server is side-eyeing and side-stepping. bad considers his friend and the owner of the world as he gives dream an impromptu tour through the escape route he and skeppy have dug out, wonders with a little reproach how dream could let things get to this point, then, soft, gentle as always, acknowledges that dream is only human kindly. when he says that, though, dream’s face crumples, as though those words hurt him more than any criticism bad’s given him in the time he’s known him, as though bad had driven a blade into his heart, and bad doesn’t understand but he lets dream run away from that. when a small flock of creepers explode over the tunnel the night before the festival and bad grumbles that he has to fix it, he learns dream left him with a fortified escape tunnel.

a/n: i’m sure the irony isn’t lost on you.

chap 20 tubbo

subtitle: cadmean victory

what say the sacrificial lamb?

tubbo is coming to terms with the fact that he might not make it out of office in one piece and it’s not his first time respawning but the older members of the server always, always did their best to shield the younger ones from death. he runs into dream by complete coincidence while he’s avoiding pogtopia (mostly wilbur) and manberg (mostly schlatt), caught between two strangers wearing his friends’ faces. he looks at dream, who looks back at him impassively, and tubbo starts to cry, because it finally hits him that even with his death and respawn nothing will be fixed, nothing can change, the poison’s run too deep into the veins of dream’s beautiful little world and now nothing can be right anymore and it feels like he’s shattering into tiny, aching shards - and then dream kneels before him, takes his hands, presses his forehead to them, sighs like his heart’s breaking, and tubbo feels a small calm thread back into him as dream stands abruptly, jittery. dream, with hands that shake, grips tubbo’s shoulder, hovers for a second, then his head jerks up and he bolts into the forest, clambering up a tree with admirable ease and disappearing away into the leaves as schlatt suddenly emerges from the bushes nearby with a joyous, plastic “hey! tubbo!”

chap 21 george

subtitle: lantern burns low

a moment in the night; george is visited by a specter.

dream comes, pale, and asks george if there is anything wrong, is everything okay with you? takes george’s caught-off-guard face in his hands and says george george george, are you - and george catches a glimpse of dream’s powers (is he safe safe does he hurt no but fear but anxiety there are dregs hush now quiet now he is safe all quiet quiet quiet he’s safe) and he says, stricken even as the constant thrum of nervous energy he’d kept with him fades out, “dream what was that,” and dream presses his hands to his mask where his eyes are and says, despairingly, “they don’t get to have you too,” and staggers back out.

george is the first person dream overtly “comes out” to. this is also why george doesn’t see dream til the festival.

chap 22 schlatt

subtitle: the empty throne

dream visits schlatt in his office.

schlatt, possessed by madness, has no idea what he’s saying but it feels right, it’s exactly right, everything is in his hands, and when dream approaches, his hands facing up, is he there is he there yes yes yes tainted polluted this is twisted this is madness madness madness dream reels back, shaking, and schlatt leans in and leers, not even knowing what he’s saying, “you can’t even fix it, young god,” and relishes the way all the color drains from dream’s face.

chap 23 dream (edit: this monster ended up being split into three for pacing purposes and also if i left it together it was gonna be. h. 14K WORDS. also the drama of a cliffhanger at what most people thought was going to be the last chapter was too good to pass up don’t @ me

subtitle: do you feel like a young god?

running, running, running again

finale!! dream takes everyone’s old hurts into himself, takes the madness from schlatt and wilbur, promptly passes the hell out because no one should be doing that, wakes up, gets the shit hugged out of him, and explains a little, and gets told that he’s loved over and over.

i uh! take questions! i like talking about this story, there’s a lot i still want to show, and even apart from that i just really love mcyt haha

#mcyt #young god #chrys writes #you're human tonight #yg meta #long post

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trensu · 5 years ago

Text

Episode 43: The One where WWX is Soft for Children and Bunnies

we're still in the forbidden chamber

wwx has his detective cap on and is being clever

the lan bros are listening attentively as they should be

wwx: jgy is a sneaky conniving bastard blah blah he vandalizes evil music books blah blah

lots of boring plot talk basically

i'm sitting here like, *sigh* so pretty wwx so pretty

which is what i imagine lwj does all the time...

lol wwx goes to lxc and is like, no offense bro but jgy was a skilled spy during the war who was able to infiltrate and memorize wen ruohan's stuff in their secret chamber. invading this one would've been a piece of cake for him

and lxc is like well damn, guess i better test out all this evil music and see if it actually works

lxc: i'll just test the evil magic music on myself. yep. that way no one gets hurt and that couldn't possibly backfire on me at all

lwj: bro

lxc: bro. i gotta do this bro to clear my bae’s i mean friend's name

LOL lxc is like you all see jgy this way but i see him in a totally different way

YEAH WE KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

LOLOLOL OMG

lxc turns to gaze off into the middle distance and is like, the jgy in my heart is kind and benevolent blah blah

and behind him wwx crosses his arms and all but rolls his eyes LIKE DUDE YOU'RE COMING TO THE WRONG PERSON FOR SYMPATHY. I'M THE ONE THAT GOT KILLED FOR THINGS YOUR BF DID

oh this moment's interesting

lxc is like, can't you allow me to be cautious about making this decision?

and lwj takes a step towards him, ready to speak but wwx grabs his upper arm and stops him with a shake of his head

the look lwj gives him just before that was like why are you stopping me?

but wwx knows this isn't something you can push

lwj trusts wwx's judgment and holds back whatever he was going to say

i'm curious as to what he WAS going to tell his brother tho

now lwj is leaving to talk to their uncle and lxc is like, sure i'll take your soulmate back to your room for you

WE'RE GONNA GET SOME BABY!LWJ FLASHBACKS SOON OMG

IT'S GONNA HURT

wwx: since lan zhan isn't here, i wanna ask you about something

lxc: tell me

wwx: what are the whipping scars on lan zhan?

lxc: you don't know?

AND THEIR SONG STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i asked him but he didn't wanna say, so i'm asking you

lxc: yeah, if he doesn't think it's necessary he'll probably never talk about it so i'll tell you instead of respecting my little brother's decisions about his personal life

AND OKAY I'M GLAD HE DID BC IT GIVES US WANGXIAN MOMENTS BUT STILL!!

lxc: do you remember that one time when wn shot and killed your sister's husband?

on the one hand, HOW COULD HE FORGET but on the other hand, he forgets quite a lot of things actually...

lxc: after wq and the others turned themselves in...*cue flashback*

we're at the burial mounds, lwj is standing by himself before wwx's cave facing down a whole freaking squadron of cultivators

su she: *runs his mouth as if we actually care what he has to say*

lwj: *completely unfazed and expressionless* you are not qualified to speak to me

HELL FUCKING YEAH

WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW EPIC THIS MOMENT IS

LOOK AT LWJ OWN THAT ICE PRINCE PERSONA TO STRIKE DOWN AN IMPUDENT ANT OF A PERSON

su she goes to draw his sword AS IF HE HAS ANY REAL CHANCE OF DEFEATING HANGUANG JUN IN A SWORD FIGHT

but jgy shows up with even MORE cultivators and then does that thing where he compliments the person inconveniencing him and takes control of the situation

jgy: oh hanguang jun is so honorable let's not search wwx's secret cave lab right now

BUT THE GREAT THING IS THAT LWJ DOESN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE

HE DOESN'T LOOK AT HIM OR SU SHE AT ALL

bc lwj is forever Better Than You.

fuck jgy

jgy: even if wwx is alive, the burial mounds is surrounded so there's no way he could come here without us noticing

he says this to lwj all mildly BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A THREAT

He bows (lwj STILL doesn't acknowledge him and it's GREAT) and walks away

then pauses (bc Drama) and is like oh, almost forgot, your uncle is waiting for you at the cloud recesses. And then he just leaves with all his cultivators

this is when lwj finally looks at jgy (or his back, at least since jgy is leaving)

We cut to the next scene that has lwj slamming the point of bichen in the the stone ground, arm bleeding

HE IS VISIBLY SWEATING AND TREMBLING

lxc: lwj made a mess and fought against everyone there

AND WE SEE LWJ FALL TO HIS KNEE, ONE ARM USING BICHEN AS SUPPORT WHILE THE OTHER RESTS ON THE GROUND

but the fall was gradual and jerky, like he was fighting it the whole way down.

As if the only reason he fell is bc he's used up every ounce his strength and energy he had in his body

lxc: uncle burst into anger and took him back home, punishing him with 300 lashes and repenting in the cold pond cave for 3 years

we cut to the cloud recesses, camera shot from above making lwj, who is kneeling before his uncle and surrounded by disciples, look small AS ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING ON THE CELLO

his uncle orders them to start beating lwj

AND LWJ TAKES IT LIKE A CHAMP

he barely moves with each strike and MAN THAT DISCIPLE IS NOT HOLDING BACK

oooh, we see him do that fist clench thing which looks even more painful without bichen to grip tbh

dude lwj is clenching his jaw so hard.

like, he refuses to cry out in pain and it's gotta hurt bc he's bleeding already

lqr: what is rule 52 of the lan clan?

lwj: do not befriend evil

NO HESITATION. SAID IN A STRONG FIRM VOICE

AS IF HE WASN'T CURRENTLY GETTING BEATEN WITH A NIGHTMARE STICK

and lqr is all you have forgotten the fundamental laws of our clan, how can you have the nerve to face your ancestors like this!!

BUT LWJ IS NOT HAVING THAT

HE'LL TAKE THE BEATING BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE HIS POINT

lwj: i dare ask you, grandmaster, who is right? who is wrong? what is black? what is white?

Bc our boy has learned! He’s learned NUANCE and CRITICAL THINKING and the existence of GRAY AREAS

BC WTF IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THESE STUPID RULES IF THEY DON'T PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND DEFENSELESS?

Bc his soulmate was right all along and he didn’t stand by him when he needed him most and now his soulmate is gone. His soulmate is gone. He’s GONE.

I'M GONNA MAKE MYSELF CRY

lqr: perfect! that's my good student

he does not say this happily. he is in fact SHOUTING this VERY ANGRILY

and here i wanna say, hey lqr, what's that rule about excessive noise...?

cue lwj's fist clench again, which sounds just as painful as the beating tbh

lqr: wangji, you have disappointed me

NOT AS MUCH AS YOU AND YOUR DAMN RULE-BOOK HAVE DISAPPOINTED HIM, YOU JERK

and here we see an ACTUAL VISIBLE SCOWL on our beautiful hanguang jun's face as he continues to be beaten

HOW ANGRY AND TORN UP MUST HE BE TO ACTUALLY SCOWL LIKE THAT??

cut to lwj kneeling at the ice table thing in the cold pond cave, robed in white and face blank but somehow still projecting an aura of cold fury

probably bc the rulebook open in front of him says "eradicate evil, establish laws, and goodness will be everlasting" and he knows that’s bullshit now

but actually this scene is visually very beautiful.

It’s all in misty shades of pale cold blue and white and everything’s spaced out in a way to emphasize how very very alone lwj is

cut back to the present with wwx and lxc

wwx grips his flute with both hands and looks down like he can't believe what he's hearing

lxc: when lwj was imprisoned i tried to persuade him...but he told me he considered you his confidant soulmate and believed in your integrity

wwx: why would he bother…?

his brow is furrowed and his voice is soft like he truly doesn't seem to understand why lwj would bother to do all that

and on the one hand i wanna scream IT'S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, YOU MORON

but on the other hand, everybody else in wwx's life, everyone else he loved, turned on him or died

and he probably truly believes he deserved all that, and that he is undeserving of lwj's unwavering faith

and then i cry

lxc: do you know what this place is?

shot of the entrance to the silence room aka the jingshi aka lwj's room

wwx: i don't

lxc: it's where our mother lived

wwx is hanging off his every word

lxc: you might find it strange that the wife of the clan leader didn't live with her husband in the frigid chamber

with a name like that i wouldn't want to live there either...

lxc: you might know that our father used to isolate himself for years, not caring about anything...

Not even his sons, apparently!

wwx: i do

and he explains that his father isolated himself bc of his mother or whatever

lxc: this place was more of a prison than a home

It was his mother’s prison. When did he figure that out? Was it when HE WAS STILL A KID??

DID HE FEEL GUILTY FOR SPENDING TIME WITH HIS MOTHER KNOWING SHE WAS LOCKED UP AGAINST HER WILL??

THE LAN FAM IS SO FUCKED UP OMG

now he's telling us the whole tragic love story

it was love at first sight, he says and wwx is like ah yes, a typical romance

and lxc is like, uh no, she didn't love him back and she murdered his teacher, idk why tho

lxc: but i guess it's all about right and wrong, love and hate

Which is a major theme of the whole show, tbh

OH DAMN

now he's telling wwx about how his dad took his mom to cloud recesses and married her against the clan's approval and that he told them that this was the person he would love for a lifetime, that “whoever tried to drive her out would have to go through him first"

DOES ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU, WWX?

RINGING ANY (WEDDING) BELLS?

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING AT ALL, WWX?

"after the wedding my father built this house, and locked my mother up"

lxc says this all so calmly and gently, as if he were reading from a story book rather than reciting his immediate family's history

Which is probably a coping mechanism, tbh

this fam is so fucked up, have i mentioned?

lxc: do you understand why my father did all this?

wwx: *nod*

lxc: and do you think he did the right thing?

wwx: i don't know

well, i mean, he married her and locked her up against her will

granted she did murder someone but i get the feeling she probably had good reason to

and now he's telling wwx that they basically had no parents bc they were given off to others to raise them until they were old enough to attend their uncle's lessons

FLASHBACK TO BABY!LWJ READING TO HIS MAMA FROM A LAN CLAN BOOK

HE'S SO CUTE AND TINY AND HIS MAMA IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY.

SHE LOOKS AT HIM WITH SUCH LOVE, AND RUNS HER HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR SO GENTLY

lxc makes a point here to say that their mother never complained about her imprisonment or how painful it must've been to be trapped like that

BC THEIR MAMA LOVED THEM

lxc: lwj never said anything, but i knew he looked forward to the day we visited mother every month

HOW AWFUL IS THAT, TO BE RESTRICTED TO ONE DAY A MONTH TO SPEND WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE???

Lxc: he did (look forward to seeing mom). and so did i.

cut to baby lwj kneeling in the snow, all little and by himself IN FRONT OF THE JINGSHI, AKA HIS MOM’S PRISON AKA PROBABLY HIS FAVORITE PLACE IN ALL THE CLOUD RECESSES

lxc: one day, uncle told us that we didn't need to go there anymore. mother had gone.

I'M GONNA CRY

HE'S SO LITTLE AND SAD AND HE'S KNEELING SO STILL WITH HIS TINY HANDS IN HIS LAP

like even lqr is moved bc he goes and puts a hand on his shoulder

lxc: we were too young to understand what that meant.

lxc: no matter how others consoled us or how uncle scolded him, lwj still came here every month. he would sit on that porch and wait for someone to open the door.

I'M SOBBING

LWJ HAS SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR THE PEOPLE HE LOVES

He’s kept himself still and stalwart ever since he was a kid so that if his loved one chose to come back, he’d still be there for them

I'M HURTING SO MUCH

HE JUST WANTED THEM TO COME BACK AND THINK HE WAS WORTH STAYING FOR.

GOD I HATE CRYING. I'M A SNOTTY MESS RN

Lxc: when we got older we realized that she would never come back. that no one would ever open the door for him. but he still came.

FUCK

GOD DAMN IT

STOP HURTING ME SO MUCH, WHAT THE HELL

lxc: lwj has always been stubborn since he was very young

lxc: back then, he watched you learn crafty tricks. he didn't say anything, but i knew...that the pain and confusion in his heart was the same as what he felt for our mother

MY GOD, JUST BEAT ME WITH THOSE NIGHTMARE STICKS INSTEAD. THAT WOULD HURT LESS THAN THIS.

wwx's eyes are all red-rimmed and his brow is all pinches and HE JUST SWALLOWED BACK THE LUMP IN HIS THROAT

THE SAME ONE I HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I CRY AND CRY AND CRY

and lxc is like, well, that's enough intense conversation for now, imma do a flute solo

~flute sounds~

and now he's like i tried to persuade lwj before but now that i'm in his shoes it turns out making a decision isn't actually easy to do?? who'd have thought?

oh here comes lwj, all straight-backed and regal as always but no jewelry in his hair! no topknot! he looks so different this way

AND HE HAS TWO JARS OF EMPEROR'S SMILE WITH HIM

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING AGAIN

oh, the way he holds it out to wwx, like an offering at an altar...

cut to inside the jingshi, we get to see him uncap one of the jars and pour a drink out for his soulmate.

like, the camera is specifically focused on his hands

which, hey, i’ve seen the tags ppl, i know some of you are Into That so take the time to enjoy this

then we get a shot of all of him and he looks so so soft and exposed and vulnerable here?? with his hair down in his own room, pouring a drink for his wei ying

it's beautiful

wwx walks in and watches as lwj starts to pour himself a cup of tea

THIS IS A LOT.

~Their Song~ playing sweetly, no other sounds except the quiet clinks of the cups and teapot. And all of lwj’s actions are just...light

wwx: lan zhan…

GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREENCAP THIS WHOLE SCENE

the shot of lwj here, while he’s focused on pouring his tea.

the way his head is angled and the wisps of his hair frame his face.

he takes up a good portion of the screen without seeming domineering or forceful, just...peacefully existing in the space

and then we cut back to wwx's face, his mouth open as he takes a breath

He wants to say something, anything, but you can see on his face that he can't make the words come

Like he doesn’t want to disturb the moment with whatever he was going to say, bc it’s a fragile moment

and then this brief literally-2-seconds shot of lwj to the right, sitting at the table

the table is set up so beautifully with the jars of emperor's smile and their cups. and he's looking up and the lighting AND AHHHHHH

IT'S JUST A VERY BEAUTIFUL TWO SECONDS AND I'VE STARED AT IT FOR MUCH TOO LONG ALREADY

lwj: what?

and wwx can't even really return his gaze. he looks just as vulnerable here but, unlike lwj, he also looks awkward, like he’s nervous in his vulnerability same ,wwx, same

wwx tries to say thank you but it comes out stuttered and soft while lwj watches him patiently

wwx mumbles to himself "it's awkward to say it out loud" and his eyes flicker back and forth for a second as his mouth pinches, agitated

BC IT IS MEGA AWKWARD

FEELINGS ARE AWKWARD

AND AS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS WWX CAN BE, IT'S NEVER ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.

wwx: *clears throat* i mean...the burden on your brother's shoulders is tremendous

smooth transition, wwx, very smooth

but at least it allowed him the chance to sit at the table with lwj

wwx: after all, jgy is his sworn brother. if i were him...

he trails off awkwardly and it feels even MORE awkward bc the background music just ends suddenly and it's silent for us, the audience

lwj doesn't say anything and instead gently moves the cup of wine towards wwx.

once that's done he says "if there's evidence, my brother won't tolerate it."

but he doesn't look at wwx and his face is somber

wwx: that's true. he's got his principles

finally lwj looks at him

lwj: you didn't tell him.

wwx: tell him what?

lwj: about the flute on qiongqi way

wwx: you know about that?

lwj: i asked wen ning. he said he heard a second flute

wwx: i thought i was hearing things until nightless city *insert flashback here*

cut to next scene. wwx is standing just outside the jingshi doors with a jar in his hand as it snows

lwj steps up next to him and ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

they're still talking about the flute and how wwx is confident now that there was a second one used to frame him basically. he's quietly angry here.

lwj immediately says it was jgy but wwx responds with "maybe, maybe not"

lwj looks at him, "you don't want to know the answer?"

bc lwj does. he wants to know who framed his soulmate, causing the suffering that lead to his death

wwx: at first i really wanted to but now i just want to say, 'whatever. screw it!'

he says with a laugh and then takes a swig from his wine jar

wwx put down that wine jar, you've obviously had too much already.

wwx: lan zhan, i actually think whether i know the answer or not won't be of much importance for me. after all, in ppl's minds, the yiling patriarch did bad things. even if i expressed my grievances, people still won't trust me

and he smiles

MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

He says, "Sometimes the world only needs an excuse or target that everyone can hate"

PAINFULLY TRUE

and then he says something along the lines that it doesn't matter, if he wasn't made the target, someone else would have been

BASICALLY HE'S JUST VERY DISILLUSIONED HERE

THE WORLD SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED FOR DISAPPOINTING HIM

now we hear the sound of a guqin playing ~Their Song~

lwj at his guqin playing their song to soothe his soulmate

wwx: *voiceover* i was lonely back then. the few who believed in me were dead, wen ning, jyl. Luckily…

and here we get the crescendo of the opening theme as we cut to lwj.

the voiceover changes from wwx to lwj

lwj: in this world, there is still someone who trust you

I'M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

voiceover switches back to wwx and we get a shot of wwx watching lwj play

wwx: lan zhan, i toast to you. i'm glad to have one true friend

SO MANY FEELINGS

and then i get distracted as wwx does that thing where he pours wine into his mouth and spills half of it down his VERY INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT

shot of lwj thinking: for nothing else but a clean conscience

shot of wwx thinking: no matter how they slander me, i know i have a clean conscience

EVEN THEIR THOUGHTS ARE IN SYNC OMG

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS STILL PLAYING BUT NOW IT'S THE GUQIN AND THE FLUTE COMING TOGETHER

wwx gazes tenderly at lwj and whispers: lan zhan. i'm sorry...and thank you

AND WE GET THE ACTORS’ VOCALS ADDED IN TO ~THEIR SONG~ AS LWJ LOOKS UP AND SEES WWX WATCHING HIM

AND I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS

I WOULD LIKE TO GET DISTRACTED BY WWX'S INDECENTLY EXPOSED THROAT AGIAN PLZ

cut to the next day with lxc meditating and our boys hiding behind a privacy screen

lwj is in perfect posture, eyes closed and meditating calmly while wwx keeps listing to the side and jolting awake bc meditating IS FOR NERDS

lol except this time he lists to the opposite side and falls into lwj's shoulder with a cute little gasp

lwj gives him a look and wwx quickly arranges himself into a sloppy lotus pose

jgy walks in and our boys are immediately on alert peeking through the privacy screen

(which actually isn't all that private. you can see through half of it??)

now we get a moment for lxc and jgy in which jgy returns the jade token and it’s, like, a Thing

BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM

LET'S SEE OUR BOYS' REACTION TO WHAT JGY HAS TO SAY

wwx is watching lwj as jgy says something about how they don't have info on lwj and wwx yet and lwj closes his eyes against the news

i think he's upset he's placed his brother in this position...

now we're informed that there are active puppets in the burial mounds

lxc is like, well it can't be wwx bc he was stabbed

and jgy is like he's been stabbed before and controlled puppets alright then!

meanwhile wwx behind the screen scoffs and thinks "they think too highly of me"

also, like, jgy was trying to get lxc to give them up by saying how lwj would be safe bc of his great reputation

Honestly, it really just goes to show that these people don't actually care about your actions. they've made their assumptions and they'll stick to them no matter what and IT'S SUPER FRUSTRATING

plot talk plot talk sworn trio moment plot talk

now lxc is off to carp tower while our boys prepare for a field trip to the burial mounds

LIL APPLE AND THE BUNNIES!!

our boys are by a stream and there's bunnies all over the place and wwx is telling lil apple they're leaving

~THEIR SONG~ STARTS UP AGAIN

AHHHHHHHHH, LOOOK!!! THERE’S TEENY TINY SMILE ON LWJ'S FACE AS HE PUTS DOWN BICHEN TO PICK UP ONE OF THE BUNNIES

EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE

WWX GETS THAT LITTLE MISCHIEVOUS SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE GOES TO POKE THE BUNNY

AND HE MAKES SILLY NOISES AT IT AND IS ALL INSULTED THAT THE BUNNY DOESN'T REACT

SO CUTE!!

wwx: see? they only like you *pout* they're only loyal to their owner

so lwj wordlessly hands over the bunny BC IF HIS SOULMATE WANTS BUNNIES, HIS SOULMATE IS GETTING BUNNIES

the bunny wriggles and wwx is like "don't try to run. you can never run away from me. stay here bunny!"

IT'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE

HE'S JUST PETTING THE BUNNY ALL OVER AND USING A PLAYFUL VOICE WHILE TALKING TO IT AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL

Don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny don’t be jealous of a bunny

wwx looks over to lwj: lan zhan, it's so strange. i know we're going on a dangerous mission but i don't feel scared at all

then he goes back to the bunny and wiggles it around SO CUTELY: do you think it's strange too? what do you think?

AND HE'S GOT THE BIGGEST SMILE

lwj: it's getting late. let's go

wwx: okay *pets bunny* little bunny, we're leaving~

THIS SHOW SHOULD ONLY EVER BE ABOUT BUNNIES, I'VE DECIDED

BUNNIES DON'T HURT ME

now we cut to them at the entrance of the cloud recesses

lil apple is being stubborn and the bunnies are on the steps

wwx: they hate to see you go.

and wwx looks at lwj all playfully

wwx: i never thought that hanguang jun would be so popular among the little animals

and then he finishes with AN ADORABLE LITTLE POUT: bc i'm not

lwj: why not?

wwx: all little animals regardless of their habitat run when they see me. isn't that right lil apple? *proceeds to bully the donkey*

lwj: *walks off bc he does not condone animal abuse or smth*

wwx: wait for me hanguang jun!!

NOW WE'RE ON A DIRT PATH

LWJ IS HOLDING THE LIL APPLE'S LEAD WHILE WWX RIDES LIL APPLE

HE’S PLAYING HIS FLUTE AND THEN STARTS PLAYING ~THEIR SONG~!!!!

AND LWJ LOOKS TOWARDS HIM HIS EYES ALL TENDER AND FULL OF LOVE

WWX IS SMILING WHILE HE PLAYS

EVERYTHING IS STILL WONDERFUL

LWJ HAS ONE OF HIS ALMOST-SMILES ON HIS FACE

wwx: lan zhan, i wanna know, back in the murder turtle cave, what was the name of the song you sang to me?

lwj: why do you ask?

wwx: just tell me the name. i think i've figured out how you recognized me

wwx: tell me what song it is. who's the composer?

lwj: me

wwx: so you composed it?!

lwj: hm

wwx: what's the name then?

THIS IS SUCH A CAREFREE PLEASANT CONVERSATION AND I LOVE IT

lwj: what do you think?

wwx: you're asking my opinion?

he gets this huge smile on his face and giggles

wwx: i think i'll call it...

lwj: i'm thirsty, let's look for water

IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT LWJ

they find a random house and wwx proceeds to steal a melon

but they're interrupted so they hide like the CRIMINALS THEY ARE lol

and we see mr & mrs mianmian with little mianmian!!

mr mianmian is all if you run off again the yiling patriarch will eat you!

little mianmian is like I'M NOT SCARED, mama says the yiling patriarch doesn’t bully good people

and that's how mianmian and her husband and daughter get guaranteed invites to their future wedding

we cut to wwx and lwj

wwx is nodding enthusiastically like THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT'S ACKNOWLEDGED

ohhhhh really liking how mianmian draws her sword and demands the criminals to show themselves

Lol, she's like WHO'S THERE? and wwx literally answers, UM, NO ONE??

lwj purses his lips like, really?? and comes out of hiding

Mianmian is shocked to find hanguang jun hiding on her property obvs, but is also excited to recognize wwx

wwx: *internally* why does this lady know me?? did she have a problem with me or did i provoke her??

then wwx recognizes her!! he's very excited about it!

and we end the episode on a high note there!!

We get to see the only functional, happy (and alive) marriage in the entire cultivation world!!

And yeah, we got our hearts torn out by kid!lwj but we were rewarded with soft domesticity AND bunnies right after!!!

Overall good quality wangxiantics

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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vulcanblake · 5 years ago

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Happy BFSN y’all! I’m new enough on tumblr that I don’t really know a lot of people/ have a lot of mutuals, but I thought this would be a good way to introduce myself (now that I’ve posted a bunch of blarke shit lmao).

I’m Emily, 21, and I’ve been graduated from college and navigating adult life for just over a year :) I was a business major and am currently in the process of a pretty major career change, which I’m excited for! Other than work, I love the outdoors, writing, art, and music (I also feel like I’m writing an overly involved tinder bio right now)

Fandom wise, I’ve been in The 100 fandom since the dark ages (aka 2016) and at this point I’m just hoping against hope that all the emotional trauma I’ve experienced because of this show pays off somehow 🙃 this year I also really want to get more involved in creating content for the fandom, I’ve written about a million fanfics over the years and haven’t really posted anything online but I definitely want to change that! I also really want to learn how to make gifs which is frankly way more intimidating but I’m gonna give it a good attempt! I unfortunately never get to watch the episodes live bc of my work schedule, but I’m excited to hear secondhand through tumblr what goes down tonight! Hopefully it’s a good episode and hopefully my son Bellamy returns from the time travel planet wormhole Shepard worship war he’s apparently been drafted into.

This is a side blog as of right now, although I wish I had just bit the bullet and created another main blog in retrospect (if anyone knows how to convert a side blog into a main, pls let me know). With that being said, if I respond to your comments or follow you or like your reblogs or whatever it’ll be on my main blog @emco1775

Also my inbox is always open if anyone wants to come in and scream about this show we all love for some godforsaken reason :)

#ive always wanted to participate in bfsn #so here we go #the 100 #bellarke #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #the 100 season 7 #bfsn #bsfn #bellarke fam selfie night

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joshler · 5 years ago

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regarding my last post

tw// topics relate to suicide/suicide prevention, racism, and bullying

before i get put on blast for “being white” or whatever the replies have accused me of: no, i’m actually a queer asian poc! my dad is a chinese immigrant from hong kong and my mom is cambodian who immigrated to america from vietnam during the vietnam war. i support blm 1000% bc i feel that as a fellow minority, we are on the same team. we’ve felt oppression, in different degrees, yes, but oppression nonetheless. i wanted to clear the air in regards to myself personally because the things aimed at me in the replies of my last post were insensitive and ignorant when you do not personally know me.

i would like to say i’m more of an update page at this point for TWENTY ONE PILOTS. i’m not here to get political, but i do want to say some things in regard to yesterday’s twitter incident with tyler joseph. first of all, YIKES. the joke was distasteful and the entire “thread” on everything he made yesterday had the worse timing in the history of ever. the platform “joke” was in regards to everybody pressuring for him to say something on current events such as blm, lebanon, etc. those things are very important and i have already done many things on my part to support blm and lebanon including donations, signing petitions, and posting on my main social media accounts (i’ve really ghosted tumblr) with ways others can help. i put links to resources, petitions, and places to donate among other helpful sites. the way tyler handled things yesterday was really idiotic on his part. with that dumb joke, he could have immediately linked blm and apologized right afterwards which is what should have been done. instead, he moved on into a tangent regarding mental health and suicide awareness. i understand what he was trying to say, but in the heat of the political movement RIGHT NOW, shifting the conversation to mental health while it should have been about blm was a terrible choice on his part. even if he connected how mental health and blm tied in together, it would have been great for what he was trying to say.

WHAT HE MEANT for all of the sjws jumping on this bc “a white man is being racist and using his privilege”: september is suicide prevention month. tyler’s intensions with the platform tweet was to make fun of everyone mass tweeting him for the past few months (you cannot make people do things). he was NOT mocking blm or any political movement. that platform joke was supposed to lead into talking about mental health. for anyone who doesn’t know, tyler is a very meticulous person. there’s no doubt he’s planned talking about this stuff for a long time. the fucking band’s moto is “stay alive” so of course mental health is a huge part of twenty one pilots culture, and tyler would want to talk about it. at the same time, that doesn’t mean i’m at all excusing him for not immediately speaking on behalf of blm in yesterday’s tweets. once he saw that what he was saying was not received as he thought it would be, tyler apologized for hurting anyone and sent out the links.

this is not the first time he has talked about blm either (as seen above). his band mate (josh) and wife (jenna) have spoken on behalf of blm as well. debby ryan (josh’s wife) has been the most vocal in regards to everything going on right now. for you strangers out there to jump on here and to call him this and that is doing nothing but spreading negativity. you are wasting your own time. instead of badgering people, how about taking your business elsewhere or at least trying to educate others. do not come onto my replies just to make trouble. as fans, you can’t just say “we don’t personally know them” while you know even less than we do since you just popped in when shit hit the fan for them and they turned “problematic.” tyler did what was right at the end of the day. i am not praising him at all, but he has at least apologized and learned his lesson.

in regards to them being rich and not donating: nobody knows what they’ve done behind the scenes. i personally donated to many blm funds and to the red cross in lebanon, and nobody knows that until now! just because you donate does not mean you are obligated to publicly blast that for everybody to know. your money is going to a cause that you support, and that should only really matter to you. celebrities are no exception to that idea.

fun fact: tyler has a niece named mercy on his wife’s side! she is black and tyler and his wife are extremely close to her and her family. to come out of no where just to call him racist and all that when you in fact don’t know a thing about him besides some surface tweets is uncalled for. in regards to being silent on the crisis in lebanon, tyler is part lebanese! without a doubt, he’s donated to some sort of lebanon aid fund. but again, we will never know.

for those of you upset about the platforms: dollskill isn’t the only site that sells those boots! dollskill is certainly the most popular brand the shoes are on, but if you look them up, the platforms pop up else where as well. to blatantly say “oh he supports dollskill so he’s racist/homophobic/supports the police/all the shit that company stands for” is just as ignorant as you think he is! dollskill as a company is complete shit. i don’t support them at all. many people think they’re from dollskill mainly because of this one instagram page that’s all about finding the exact/similar clothing to what tyler/josh/jenna/debby have worn, but we cannot be 100% sure that they were purchased from dollskill. that shit company steals from other smaller artists/designers, remember? (that same instagram account reuploaded a link to a different store who is selling them, as found here)

if you still have beef with tyler and what he said, there’s really no point in bickering just to call complete strangers “stupid” or “clowns” or just really hurtful names! you are screaming into an abyss and hurting others at the same time. there is a fine line between straight up bullying and educating others on bettering their understanding with what is currently going on. my intensions behind the post was to show that he had become active again. we are a fandom, and i like to update my page when they post new pictures. that is simply what i did. i made THIS post to clear the air on what people were saying about ME. i deleted tumblr off my phone because what was being said was just belittling and i didn’t want to see that when this whole situation with what tyler did already made me upset. feel free to dm me if you would like to talk about anything. i would be happy to discuss any points that i’ve mentioned. i would much rather have a civil conversation than be picked on through replies and anonymous messages.

at the end of the day, not everyone can always have satisfied and that’s okay. if anything, this entire situation truly opened my eyes to that. hopefully you read through this whole thing before you put anything on blast again.

here’s this, too. they do care.

summary: sorry on behalf of tyler joseph. he needs to work on reading the room better.

#k talks

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lynndoublelegacy · 4 years ago

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just a cool dnd meme i saw

Yook so it’s less a meme and more like. a big ol questionare but hey, might as well do it. originally saw it on @/probablyottrpgideas, go check them out

1. Game Master, Player, or both? Why?

Ok so technically I’ve DMed twice but I really don’t find it fun? and don’t ever want to do it again. so. Player. I like building characters and their connections with fellow PCs more than building worlds

2. When did you start roleplaying? How old were you?

oh god, if we’re talking about roleplaying in general? I’ve been doing it basically as long as I can remember. As a kid I would play House, and then once I got older in like 5th grade I actually started making characters and playing out their stories with friends. Google+ is what made me realize this was actually like, a THING, though, and I got into some roleplaying groups there, then on DevaintArt. Dungeons and Dragons is a newer development? I got into it in late 2018 when my sister’s friend invited us to a one-shot, and... well, yea, I got hooked lol

3. What was the first roleplaying book you ever owned?

dude, bold of you to assume I really own any. I don’t have that kind of money and literally only own the Guide to Wildemount, and that was a gift

4. Describe the first game you ever ran or played in.

I mean... it’s not a game but ima describe the one shot, bc my first campaign was a hot mess without a true storyline and I used the same character for it anyway. I played a tiefling bard called Aisling Kai (I didn’t know this was a cliche combo at this point, and I honestly played her like a rogue with a music motif but Whatever) and we were a little group tasked to figure out why the hell anyone who goes into this cave never comes out. So we go in, make our way through the dungeon, fight some frog people (I made one of their ears bleed just by getting a nat 20 on a performance check to play a high f# on flute, that was fun, FWEET), and turns out yep, theres a hill giant down here. We kicked his ass and collapsed the cave on top of us (dw I think we were fine but my memory is a little screwy)

5. What system did you grow up with? / 6. Which system do you play now?

i learned on and currently play dnd 5e. I don’t really know anything else, but I’m debating checking out Vampire of the Masquerade.

7. Longest campaign you’ve run or played in?

That would be my Tal’Dorei campaign group, aka The Fatefallen! Started in the Fall of 2019 and still going to this day, just played our 45th session last week. I play Ilia Liadon, the drow grave cleric, and the only member of our party who has been there for every single session since the beginning.

8. Where did you meet your current gaming group?

...well first I feel the need to mention that I have 3 different groups (2 of them are on hiatus now for pandemic related reasons but! we’re still groups). My first group (with Aisling) was formed slowly over time as friends adopted friends into the group, I think it started as a school club? but that didn’t last long. The other two started from a different school club as well, though one has since branched out into other people as well.

9. Strategic combat or dramatic plotlines?

I am a roleplayer first and a gamer second. Give me all of the backstories and dramatic plotlines. Don’t get me wrong, I still like combat, but story takes precedent for me.

10. Favorite RPG genre?

I don’t tend to define myself by genre? But I tend to fall into more of a fantasy, at most arcanapunk style. Give me all of the magic, and magic powered tech.

11. Your first character.

I got into her a little bit earlier, but my first character was Aisling, aka Calypso Kai. She was a homebrew subclass bard with a criminal background, who honestly? should’ve been a rogue. I’ve since rebuilt her into an Assassin Rogue/College of Eloguence Bard multiclasser, but this iteration was like. Baby her, baby me new to dnd, I did not know what I was doing. She tried to be edgy, but my mom energy came through HARD and she just. Never really had a set characterization. She deserves better and I plan on playing her better sometime in the future.

12. Your favorite character.

You are making me choose between my children. BUT, if I had to pick, either Ilia Liadon, or! Ashe Wednesday, a protector aasimar drunken master monk and my profile picture. Ashe also deserved a lot better from their campaign, so I have a massive soft spot for them, they were made during a really tough time in my life (as was Ilia) and was going through an equally rough time in-game, since I made them for a Curse of Strahd campaign without understanding what I was getting into. They’re my little rebellious asshole and I love them dearly, someone get this kid therapy. Ilia, on the other hand, is just... she’s a comfort character for me at this point. mostly soft edges, such a mom- while Ashe was me yelling “come at me” at the world while crying, Ilia was just... embracing it. Making it better. basically, if they actually existed, I would die for both of them.

13. Your most ridiculous character.

I don’t usually play super ridiculous characters, but! I would say Keothi “Bookfinder” Vaimeil counts. She was basically me looking all of the goliath barbarian stereotypes in the eye, and going “nah. she’s a nerd.” She’s literally a massive puppy dog, just the sweetest big old thing, sitting in her house and reading all the books she can get her hands on in order to make up for her amnesia. Oh, and did I mention that she’s a zombie? ...yea. She’s wacky, but I love her.

14. The best in-character line you’ve ever had.

“I need sleep. I don’t even sleep and I need sleep.”

~Ilia, after a particularly tough fight and an emotionally draining day

15. Your most epic death.

Ok so... none of my characters in game have ever actually died during the storyline? Keothi obviously has in her backstory, and Ilia might have in hers as well, it was never explicitly stated, but during the game? Nope. Ashe got stupid close, but nope. Since Keothi is my only death period, and her death was pretty epic, I’m just gonna describe that. Her parents and siblings in her Goliath tribe had all fallen ill, so she decided to go searching for a possible cure, and ended up getting conned into helping this cult, since they said they would cure her family. Turns out, yea, they were lying, they just needed a goliath willing to sacrifice themselves with a cursed sword. They made the mistake of revealing this before Keothi was actually dead, so as she was dying, she brought the entire goddamn cultist temple down to the bottom of the sea and took the cultists with her. The sword was why she was undead, in the Shadowfell, and couldn’t remember anything.

16. Your most disappointing death.

As mentioned, I’ve never died in campaign, but I feel like I have to mention this one that happened to our party in Curse of Strahd. We were in the death house, all 5 of us, still level 1, and our barbarian falls into a pit trap with spikes. None of us realize she’s actually dead, so we send out paladin down to get her... with the monk, the bard, and the warlock holding the rope. ....yea both of them died.

17. Something that shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

I’m stuck between two options for this one. First one was the time our water genasi paladin/rogue bloodbended our gnome cleric into a bridge to keep her from falling all the way down a ravine. The second time was when our party managed to defend a small seaside town from a pirate raid with just an NPC with Control Water, a ballista, ourselves, and some explosives. Neither should’ve worked, but both did. Having a triton in your party can really come in clutch in a seaside campaign.

18. Something that went hilariously awry.

I have one that’s hilarious and one that’s horrifying. Hilarious one: in my first ever campaign, someone from Aisling’s backstory popped up and our sorcerer went “that’s shady” (to be fair, he was) and then went to investigate BY HIMSELF. He obviously got kidnapped by the mafia, and then we went all stealth mission to break him out. Stealth was immediately abandoned after our other bard used a SCREAMING SWORD to break open the locks, then we proceeded to go out the way we came, setting everything on fire on the way out, and with our bard lying their way out the front door (with the rest of us in tow as “prisoners”) by pretending to be a fellow mafia member. It was great. Horrifying one: Ilia tries to Send to a member of the party who left in order to let him know that a fellow party member had died. Forgot that he left bc his mind was invaded by a previously dead, very evil old god, and ends up trapped there with him for a while. Ended up with all of our main spellcasters trapped in their own heads while the barbarian paced around worriedly and the rogue decided he was going to get smashed instead of worrying himself silly.

19. Your most memorable in-character moment.

There are a LOT in Ilia’s campaign, but! If I had to pick one, it would actually be a pretty recent one involving Ilia and our party’s wizard, Liara. They’re basically the embodiment of head vs heart? Anyway, Liara is currently suffering from something called magic corruption, though idk if suffering is the right word. Anyway! It basically resulted in her getting... possessed? by her own magic during the night during Ilia’s watch, and they had a really, really interesting conversation regarding guilt, death, and grief, and yea basically I love them. Honorable mention to our druid’s death (he’s back and better now, but that was my first long-time death in a game, we didn’t know he was coming back) and also the moment that Ilia realized that her childhood bff/crush had been revived in a new body and that this NPC was her best friend. That was a trip.

20. The coolest item you ever got and how you came to possess it.

I got this item in the revamp of my first ever campaign and nothing has topped it since which is Sad but hey. Anyway! I got this really cool, possibly cursed dagger after I threw a knife at an absolutely eldritch being and it got stuck in him as he transformed. It looked really badass, and allowed me to cast Inflict Wounds on occasion when I stabbed someone with it. So yea, we love that. Honorable mention to my paladin/bloodhunter’s Helm of the Aberrant Gladiator which allows you to basically do a bunch of fear based affects and psychic stuff.

Numbers 21 through 30 don’t apply to me but. yea. enjoy this summary of my dnd history I guess

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #d&d 5e #dnd meme #i would like to apologize to Vail and Zohros #they deserved better than to be briefly mentioned but their campaigns are also on hiatus #so they're not overly relevant rn #vail is the paladin/bloodhunter #zohros is the triton #he's a rogue

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winryofresembool · 5 years ago

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 9

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso and Leo have a therapy session of sorts.

A/N: New chapter and some (more) Caleo focus this time! About Leo's fear of fire: fire's obviously a big part of Leo's character and ofc I wanted to put that into this fic somehow. I always wished that he would have had a moment in HoO where he would have come to term with his issues (since he in fact didn't like using his power in TLH bc of reasons but then later on just seemed to forget about it) so, that's kind of what I'm trying to do in this fic. Don't worry, he'll definitely deal with his fear eventually!

Big thanks to Cris again for helping me solve some problem parts! :)) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you think!!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo

Words: 1356

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

As the fall progressed, Calypso got inspired to burn candles on the common room table to bring some light to the darkening evening. She had already forgotten about the fire alarm incident a few weeks before so when she heard a scream from the common room while she was reading, she didn’t immediately understand the reason for it.

“What’s wrong?” Calypso rushed into the room, worried something had happened to Leo.

“Don’t. never. ever. leave. a fire. here.” Leo breathed harshly and had to sit down to collect himself. He also looked paler than usually, Calypso noticed.

“But… it’s just a small candle… and there’s nothing burnable nearby… and the fire alarm won’t react to such a small flame either…” Calypso tried to reason. “What’s so bad about it?”

“It just is! You never know what it could do if you leave it unsupervised!” Leo exclaimed, gripping the couch fabric hard with both hands.

“I was just in my room, I would have noticed if something had happened!” Calypso said defensively. Then she remembered the talk she had had with Piper earlier and Leo’s burn marks. “Wait a minute. Is this about that fire... In your house?” she asked quietly, looking at Leo worriedly.

Leo was scowling at her, his expression screaming ‘how do you know about my house’, but he said nothing.

“Piper told me,” Calypso said as calmly as she could even though Leo did look kind of scary with his eyes burning as bright as the candle.

He ran his hand through his hair and made an annoyed growl. “What did she tell you exactly?” he asked after a while. Calypso had to admit to herself she hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from him, about a sole candle.

“Not much more, really. Just what happened to the house, that’s all,” she replied.

“Oh. OK. Good.” Leo seemed to calm down a bit after that piece of information even though he still kept glancing at the small flame nervously every once in a while and his hands were as fidgety as ever.

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid after such an incident. I have gone through something similar myself. But I think I could be able to help you get over it. Isn’t it hard to be a mechanic who has to avoid fire? Don’t you have to for example weld the metals?”

Leo rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I usually get help from Jo with that,” he admitted.

“Okay. Well, would you let me help you?” Calypso asked.

“No sé," Leo said and Calypso remembered how Piper had told her Leo often goes for Spanish when he’s nervous.

“Please?” she attempted again, trying to make her best Piper impression.

“Fine. Can’t hurt, can it?” he said, still a bit hesitantly.

“We’ll take it slowly. Promise.”

“Okay.”

Calypso sat down next to Leo on the sofa, which seemed to be a bit too close to the candle for his liking, but still far enough that he didn’t just leave. Then she turned towards him and gently lifted his chin so he was facing her directly.

“Now. Tell me a happy memory. Could be anything that comes to your mind. Just a moment you remember enjoying.”

“What kind of hocus pocus is this supposed to be?” Leo asked skeptically.

“It’s not hocus pocus!” Calypso said with annoyance. “It’s called positive reinforcement, making you associate fire with more positive things than you do now.”

“Fine,” Leo said, trying to think of a happy memory. He was quiet for a good while, almost enough for Calypso to break the silence, but then he finally continued: “One of my favorite memories is from the time I found out that I’d get to stay with Jo and Emmie. Until that moment everything felt so… unsure. I didn’t want to wish that it would actually happen because I was so scared of getting disappointed again. I had a bit too much experience on that already. But then they really sat me down and gave me the papers that would make it official. I have never written anything as fast in my life. After that we had a good meal – tacos, of course, because Jo and Emmie already knew I love them – and Georgie helped them bake a small cake. Best cake I’ve ever had.” He smiled crookedly at the memory.

“Oh, that’s a good one!” Calypso said encouragingly. “Very sweet. Your family sounds great. I’d love to meet them one day.”

“Maybe you will,” Leo shrugged. “They live in this town and sometimes drop me something I’ve forgotten.”

“That would be great! I mean, seeing them,” she added quickly, “not you forgetting something… although it’s not hard to imagine that happening to you,” she said teasingly. “Har har. You should know better than to think that kind of teasing would work on the great Leo Valdez.”

“Great? Sorry, Repair Boy, but you’re just too easy to tease.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too!”

“Is this your idea of distracting me, Sunshine?” Leo asked suddenly.

“What?”

“You are like, 3 inches from me,” he pointed out.

Calypso immediately jumped farther from Leo. She hadn’t even realized that as they were bickering, they had slowly inched closer to each other. Her face turned red and she seemed rather interested in the hem of her shirt when she muttered something like ‘idiot’ under her breath.

“What was that?” Leo asked, a mischievous smile rising on his face.

“Nothing,” Calypso mumbled.

“Anyway,” Leo decided to change the subject. “I shared a memory that’s important to me. I think it’s only fair that you do the same.”

Calypso felt like cursing him, still embarrassed by what had just happened, but then she remembered that she was trying to help Leo get rid of his fear of fire. “Okay.”

She had to think long and thoroughly. Her best memories were from the time when she had still been living with her mother in Greece, which had happened a long time ago. Finally, she remembered one specific moment.

“I was maybe 7. It was summer and we were on a vacation in Malta. My dad had a boat so my mum, my sister and I took it one day while dad was taking care of his businesses and we sailed for a good while until we found a small uninhabited island. We stopped and had a picnic there, nothing too fancy, simple bread and grapefruit, but something about that island… it felt like I was connected to it somehow. Later mum revealed that I had been born there. She and dad had been sailing a few weeks before her due date when she had suddenly started showing signs of being in labor and they had had no other choice but to stop there. It wasn’t until I was already in this world that a medical helicopter had picked them to the hospital.”

“Woah. That’s kinda crazy," Leo commented, looking genuinely interested in her story.

“Yeah. Fate works funny sometimes. Would be interesting to visit that place some time again.”

“Mmmh. I’d like to see some of the world outside this country at some point too.” Leo nodded.

“Well, did it work?” Calypso asked all of a sudden, changing the subject.

“Did what work?” Leo asked with confusion.

“This? Talking? Did it make you forget the fire?” Calypso clarified.

“Oh!” Leo glanced at the flame again but he realized that he had already gotten used to its presence. “You know what? I think it did.”

“Good.”

“But do not push your luck more,” Leo grinned, blowing the flame off. Calypso felt something weird in her stomach when she saw the light reflect from his eyes for a moment. But the moment was gone almost as fast as it had happened and it became darker in the room. Suddenly Calypso felt Leo reach for her hand, squeezing it briefly and telling her: “Thanks, Cal. Maybe we can continue this some other day.”

Calypso was thankful for the lack of light because she was convinced her face was currently more red than her newly dyed hair.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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khaotungsfirst · 4 years ago

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Yeah I agree, the storylines Amy and Rory got weren't great. But honestly, I think the cast helped bring life to the characters which is why I like them so much anyway 😊 And yes to Martha! She's so awesome, I actually rewatched her seasons a few months back and found I loved them more than I remembered? I don't really watch current DW now (fell off following it not long after the 50th), but I still like revising the old episodes from time to time. They make me smile 😊 - CC 🦊

We'll find some way to watch tgcf, worry not! If the Funimation route doesn't work I'll see if I can ask around and find something else. I'm so used to looking to sites like Crunchyroll when it comes to non-western animation that I forget the site doesn't list a lot of stuff that isn't just anime 😂CC reveal is in a few days so I'll send you the Funi link for the first episode then and you can see if it works for you too 😊- CC 🦊

Aww, I'm glad you had a good Christmas though ❤️ Where I live decorations aren't too overboard either. A lot of people either put lights outside or on outdoor trees, and a few houses might do a window display. I have seen some videos on YouTube this year though of streets that are purposely decorated extravagantly for people to go and visit, but it's mostly America I've seen those. They look so pretty and a ton of fun though! - CC 🦊

I love your Christmas gift ideas for some of the characters. And lol, omg, you made me laugh with 'wwx not being allowed to give lwj a massage it'll just turn nsfw' because yeah ... yeah it would with them 🤣Matching hair pieces for them though that act like an engagement ring is such a cute idea 🥺I think I'd give jc a puppy, but only if he promises to not upset his brother's phobia with it! He just needs a good pup - - CC 🦊

I'd give lwj a lotus root soup recipe so he could make it for wwx, or if jy is able prod her into the idea of doing so if she hadn't already. wwx can have some new black robes - i'm sure lwj is spoiling him with more luxurious ones, but the boy needs a bigger wardrobe! sizhui and the boys can have an expenses paid meal at their favourite restaurant, with plenty of chicken for jingyi 🤣- CC 🦊

I think this might be my last question time for you before reveal! I'll try and make it a special one 😊 Do you have any favourite memories from this past year? Can be related to something that's happened in fandom or through mdzs, or can just be something that's made you happy or smile. I know 2020 hasn't been the easiest year, but there's been pockets of sunshine between all the crazy! ☀️ - CC 🦊

Talking to you about dw really made me want to rewatch some of the old episodes. I also fell off pretty soon after the 50th, though I did return to watch all of 12′s episodes and I would watch the new ones as well but they’re simply not easily available to me atm 😩

Aaaaahh I can’t wait to start our lil tgcf buddy watch!! It’s gonna be great cause if we love it we can scream abt it together and if we don’t like it we can roast it together 😂 (but I think we’re gonna love it)

Oh yeah, I’ve also seen some crazy american christmas decorations on youtube where the entire street is lit up. I would love to see that irl some day!

I thought abt giving jc a puppy, too but... wwx... 😅 though maybe wwx should get therapy sessions for christmas so he can work through his trauma and then maybe one day not be afraid of dogs anymore or at least not of jc’s dog 😅and aaaahhhh yes!! jyl introducing lwj to her cooking and especially the lotus root and ribs soup and lwj would be so diligent in learning how to do it perfectly bc he loves wwx so much!!! 🥺yes more robes for wwx!!! and maybe also some colourful ones (like not bright colours but maybe jewel toned?? like a really dark blue or red? 👀 he’d look like a snacc)

and that’s such a sweet question! i’m not going to lie i had to think abt it for a moment cause as you said, 2020 really wasn’t the best of years for any of us, but i have a few:

buying my first car!!! whooo a bitch is free to go wherever she wants whenever she wants!! (if covid would let me 😩)

finding an apartment and looking forward to living by myself (i CANNOT wait to decorate my apartment he way i want it to look!!)

the realisation that i’m fully and truly over my ex and that i’m actually quite content with being single (do i still want love? yeah sure but i’m not desperately craving it anymore and it feels so liberating)

the new lady gaga album giving me life

discovering the untamed and and just LOVING something so much and wholeheartedly again. i’ve missed being so wrapped up in one piece of media cause i haven’t had that in quite some time and it feels so nice!

joining the mdzs fandom who have been the nicest and most welcoming ppl ever! i’ve been on this website for almost a decade and never have i felt like i belong somewhere or like i had mutuals who are my friends until now. i have met so many amazing ppl in the past few months since i joined the fandom and it makes me so happy!! i love all of you, including you, dear CC! you all have made me life so much brighter! ❤️(also going along with that: returning to gifmaking and just having a creative outlet again is SO MUCH FUN)

this is related to the previous point but it stuck with me: one night when i went to bed, i was smiling so much and i felt so indescribably happy simply because ppl on here were being nice to me and my gifsets were doing well and we were all having a laugh at something fandom-related and i just... it sounds so stupid but i went to sleep with a smile on my face and i don’t remember the last time that happened

getting passionate about learning a new language which is chinese! i don’t know for how long that will last but atm i’m enjoying it so much and i hope i’ll get to at least a semi-fluent level! it’s a language that’s completely different from the other languages i’ve learned so far and i loooove the characters!! also it makes me feel productive during these boring times.

asakdjfgjdfdkgf so many of these are related to mdzs but i truly feel like it saved me from spiralling into a dark seasonal depression. maybe not the healthiest way to cope but better than nothing... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dear CC, I want to thank you for keeping me company and asking me so many fun questions this past month! 💕 I can’t wait to find out who you are and start watching tgcf with you. I hope you had just as much fun with your personal CC as I had with you. See you on NYE! 😘

#mdzsnetcc #anon

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dreamsequencer · 5 years ago

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Warnings: amputation, self-amputation, technically self-harm I guess? Nothing too graphic, just mentioned.

Yes, there are hints here at a friendship - or more - between Hordak and Scorpia's grandfather, who I'm just calling Scorpio bc I am terribly unoriginal when it comes to names.

Based on a conversation I had with @sad-boys-anonymous (well, I say conversation, but I mean "me ranting at them")

------------

Hordak had crash-landed on this planet 10 days ago. And when he had, he'd lost his connection to the hive mind. Which, it seemed, had been the only thing that had been slowing his deterioration. Every day since he'd landed, he'd felt himself getting weaker.

Even so, he hadn't expected this. Not yet, at least.

As he disconnected himself from his pod, his legs gave out underneath him, and pain flowed through his body, leaving him writhing on the floor.

As the pain subsided, he tried to stand up again, but the same thing happened.

He had known his legs would fail him eventually. He just hadn't realized it would happen so soon. Luckily, he had prepared for this.

He had an energy weapon, a blade of light and heat that had been given to him for the purpose of gathering information. It would instantly cauterize any wound, making it an incredibly effective torture device.

But now it would be used for a different purpose: to assist him in an amputation.

He just had to get to it...

He half crawled, half dragged himself across the floor to where he had stored it. Pain shot through him with every movement. It would be better once he had his armor on, but he couldn't do that in this state. He'd probably have to do without until he could build himself a pair of prosthetics. Luckily, he had already begun work on a set, knowing this day would come eventually, but they were far from complete. He'd just have to finish them after he did this...

Maybe he could find someone to help, although he wasn't sure his pride would allow him to be seen in this state. It was a private war he fought within himself, his pride against his need for help... and his desire for companionship.

Really, he should be trying to find a surgeon to do this for him, someone in the nearby kingdom maybe. But his pride won, and he turned on the weapon.

***

King Scorpio was taking his morning walk when he heard the screaming. It seemed to be coming from the crashed ship that had landed nearby about 10 days ago. The very thing he has sworn to avoid.

But those screams... someone was in pain. And he couldn't just ignore that, no matter how sure he was that the ship was bad news. So after some internal debate, he turned and headed toward the ship.

By the time he got there, the screaming had stopped. He wasn't sure what that meant. He hoped it meant that whoever had been screaming was safe.

He searched until he found a door, and opened it slowly. Inside, he saw a being the likes of which he had never seen before. He doubted the man was even of this world.

The man was dragging himself around using his hands as he worked on... something, Scorpio realized. He also realized that his legs appeared to have been cut off at the knee.

It then registered with him that, were the man able to stand at his full height, he would probably be a rather imposing figure. But right now, he looked rather pitiful.

He cleared his throat, in an attempt to alert the man to his presence.

The man turned to face him. "Who are you? How did you find me?"

"King Scorpio of Horror Hall. And... honestly, you weren't that hard to find, considering that you're living in this giant ship."

"I've been here for 10 of your days. Why did you not come sooner?"

"I didn't want to bother you. But then I heard someone screaming, and I had to make sure whoever it was was alright... was... was that you?" Even in the his current state, Scorpio found it hard to imagine this man screaming like that.

"That is none of your business."

"Well... can you at least tell me your name?"

"...Hordak."

"Nice to meet you, Hordak. Did I already introduce myself?"

"Yes. What shall I call you? Your Majesty?"

He laughed. "Just Scorpio is fine."

"Well, Scorpio, would you care to tell me the name of this planet?"

Scorpio's eyes widened. Hordak really was an alien! "Um. Etheria. This is- this is Etheria."

"Etheria. Good to know."

"Do you... do you want some help with... whatever it is you're doing?" He asked, a bit hesitantly. He halfway expected Hordak to lash out at him for asking that, although he wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe it was the way Hordak had spoken to him so far, or the fact that his face seemed fixed in a permanent glare.

"I doubt you would be able to. It's delicate work. And besides, this planet does not seem nearly technologically advanced enough for you to understand this machinery."

"Well, maybe I could just... hand you things. You know, so you don't have to drag yourself around the ship every time you need something." Hordak growled at him. "I mean, I just- no offense, but it seems difficult for you. I- you look like you're in pain."

It looked like Hordak was going to growl at him again, or yell at him. But instead, he just sighed. "I am," he admitted. "I... I suppose you can help."

Scorpio grinned. "Great! What are we building?"

"I am building prosthetic legs for myself. You are handing me the materials I ask for, and you are going to do it without talking or distracting me." Hordak sounded as angry as usual, but there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face.

***

With the King's help, Hordak was able to make quick work of his new legs, and within a few hours, Scorpio was helping him attach them.

"How do they feel?"

"Different. New. And... strong."

"That's good. Strong is good. They... they look nice. If I didn't know, I'd never guess they were prosthetics, they just love like boots."

Hordak nodded. "Good." He paused for a moment, then mumbled something.

"What?"

"I said... um... do you think... you could maybe stay? And help me learn to use them?" He was blushing slightly - adorably, in Scorpio's opinion - and it was clear he wasn't comfortable asking for help.

Scorpio grinned, pulling him into a bear hug. "Of course!"

Hordak couldn't help but smile a bit. "I... would like to express my gratitude to you somehow."

"I think the words you're looking for are 'thank you.' And... you're welcome. But... if you really want to show me your gratitude... join me for dinner?"

"That sounds... acceptable."

#hordak #scorpion king #king scorpio #scorpio #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #shera #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing

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powermetalhag · 5 years ago

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Digging Deeper

@alienfuckeronmain tagged me in this massive tag meme (Thank you!! I love doing these things). If I tag you, feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel up to doing it/reading it. If you aren’t tagged and want to be, feel free to just say I tagged you ❤

I tag: @flowerkitten @meemimajima @darlingdear @wizards1977 @violet-tea @lickthatbattery @lusamine @misfit-on-a-journey @lampshroomomg @cyrsed @wooden-duck @wildbayou @curse-you @ghostly-rowlf @icedchailatte @oni-lover

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? City

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I’d love to be able to sing and metal-scream really well. I’m trying to learn but I practice pretty inconsistently and it’s an uphill battle bc I don’t have much natural aptitude for it. Also it would be really cool to be a contortionist.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I don’t drink coffee. Sometimes I sweeten tea, sometimes I don’t.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? I didn’t like reading books much as a child. When it came to reading novels, my reading comprehension was pretty below average (I think I posted about this ages ago, but when I tried to read Harry potter when I was 7 I couldn’t follow it at all. I somehow thought that Harry and Hagrid were the same character and that Hagrid was just the name for Harry’s Wizard self. My concentration just wasn’t there). I read a lot of manga though. I think my favourites were fushigi yuugi, saint tail, and miracle girls.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hobbit

8. Paper or electronic books? I prefer paper books, but I mostly use electronic ones.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my cloud-print long sleeved mesh shirt

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to want to change it, I don’t anymore.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I don’t think I have one

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I like the idea of creative projects of mine becoming a little bit known, but I’d never want to be famous.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Not really

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I’m probably less romantic than the average person, but in the right situation I can be.

15. Which element best represents you? I associate myself with fire (bc I'm a leo) but in some ways water or air might better represent me. Idk.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Honestly? Pretty much all of my friends. My life is complicated and the severity of my ocd makes me keep everyone at a distance more than I’d like to.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? Everyone who I haven’t seen since quarantine started.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. As young kids my sister and I hated Tracey Sketchit from pokemon so passionately that we would draw his face on the bottom of our feet before going to jump on the trampoline so that we could feel like we were jumping on him

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? When we were little my sister and I would sometimes eat raw dried spaghetti dipped in vegemite when there was no other easy snacks in the house. We called them cardboard sticks. (The food situation in my house wasn’t dire or anything, we were just too lazy to make a sandwich or something lol)

20. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for the people I have in my life and for the amount of stability i’ve been able to have in my life in recent times.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do, but if I eat it often enough to increase my tolerance to it I get bad reflux. So I remain a spice wimp who can only have mild.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Zakk Wylde, Chris Lilley, and some guy who was on Blue Heelers. Also I spoke to Tracy Grimshaw on the phone once. Meeting Zakk Wylde was funny because I was REALLY weird and embarrassing.

(Long story ahead, feel free to skip) Basically, my friend and I were 16 and wandering through the city high on acid. We saw Zakk standing near Hungry Jacks and became completely captivated by him. We had no idea he was some big famous rockstar, we thought he was just some random guy. I cannot convey to you how intense his presence felt at that time. It was like he was everything that is and ever will be metal but congealed into a human being and magnified by 2000x. (in case you don’t know him, he looks like this)

We were so high that we were very in our own world and felt like we were the only ones who really existed and that everything else was just kinda there for us to observe. So we started following him and discussing him as if he couldn’t hear every word we were saying.

I remember us being like “He’s the most metal thing i’ve seen in my life” “He’s like Neptune, king of the sea, but a brutal version” “He’s the raw original concept that all other metalheads were disseminated from. He’s the true, the original.” It made sense at the time that he could be the origin point of metal and the first ever metalhead because time and space felt like it existed in a looser way than usual. We were really fixated on the idea that metal was invented through his very existence as a direct expression of self, then people copied him, then people copied those people and so on. The further they got from the source (Zakk) the more diluted the essence became. That’s why being around normal metalheads wasn’t as viscerally overwhelming as being in the presence of the raw undiluted concept. We concluded that no metalheads were actually expressing themselves through their subcultural identity. Unknowingly, they’re just expressing him. And we were saying all of this while walking maybe a metre and a half behind him while he ignored us.

Eventually some of the people he was with noticed we were following him and started talking to us (they may have been members of Black label society or they may have just been friends of his, idk). They were friendly and said that they used to do acid when they were younger too and invited us to get drunk with them. We said yes and walked with them for a little. I don’t think Zakk said a word to us the entire time. He probably found us annoying. But we kept staring at Zakk and getting overwhelmed by how intense it was just to be in his presence. Then me and my friend abruptly turned and left without saying anything because being around Zakk was getting to be too much. It was like a sensory overload. As we walked away we barely heard them yelling back to us “something something something ZAKK WYLDE!”. I was familiar with the name but I’d never known how he looked. I googled him a few days later and learned that it was indeed Zakk Wylde who we met and that he’d been in Brisbane with black label society.

And that’s the story of how I passed up the once in a lifetime opportunity to get drunk with Zakk Wylde because his vibes were off the charts.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? No. Kinda wish I could, but the habit doesn’t stick.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pencil

25. What is your star sign? Leo sun (Virgo cusp), Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I’d like to have a positive effect on the people in my life and leave art behind that people might enjoy or relate to (I use the word art loosely, I mean any kind of creative project). I think I've become more aware recently of how important that is to me, which is why I've been so uncharacteristically dedicated to finishing my comic.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I like reading books but I don’t always have the attention span for it. I tend to read more non-fiction than fiction. The last book I read was Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo. A really great book if you want to learn about emo history. The only downside is that it was published in 2003, before emo really took off in the mainstream. Had some insightful things to say regardless.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Idk I can’t think of a concise answer for this. I think it varies depending on who it is and what our dynamic is. When I took that love language test it said my love language was quality time.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? I don’t like it in water. It’s fine in most other drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t think I can answer this without oversharing or getting too bleak

32. What is your favourite scent? I like tropical scents like mango and coconut

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? By their name

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d buy a house with my sister and I wouldn’t have a job but I'd volunteer and do freelance creative work. I’d donate a lot more and help people out more. I’d learn lots of new skills and make lots of art. I would have an amazing wardrobe too.

A kinda sillier dream is that I'd start a cheerleading team where our routines are exclusively to metal songs. As well as entering competitions, we would also be an opening act for bands (in this dream i’m much better at cheerleading than I currently am). It would be cool ok

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean.? Ocean. I miss going to the beach so much

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? See if someone dropped it. Then idk, would depend on my financial situation at the time.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I’m not going to have children. I’d like to be a good influence in my friend’s children’s lives though.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Probably some old-school gradient style neopets art (maybe an aisha) or 90s tamagotchi art or a cool wizard. I’d get it on my thigh. I’m very unlikely to ever get a tattoo though

40. What can you hear now? The hum of my computer. It’s old and loud and on its way out

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bed at home with my cat Luna or hanging out w my sister

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Once coronavirus is less of an issue (which may be in the near future where I live), I’d like to try and push myself to start dating again. I haven’t done that in a long while. The limitations that ocd causes me makes it hard for me to imagine a relationship-- even a casual one--being workable. But I ought to at least try before I decide that. Sometimes things turn out to be easier than I think they’ll be 🤷‍♀️.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? This is so hard!!

If this is purely for enjoyment and not to change the past, i’d probably just want to see all my favourite bands live while they were in their prime and like, cry the whole way through because I am so moved.

44. What is your most used emoji? :) or :/

45. Describe yourself using one word. I’m really bad at questions like this

46. What do you regret the most? Eh, that’s a bit personal. I feel like i’ve overshared enough in this thing.

47. Last movie you saw? Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

48. Last tv show you watched? Degrassi the next generation

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Idk

If you’ve read this far ty!! Here’s a little sheep for your trouble

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