#currently i have no photos to post there!!! like as a writer i’d love to post desk tours and set up stuff etc
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hi clari! first off, ur hair looks so cute!! i think it suits u really well! second, i think u said a while back that u limit ur social media intake and i was just curious to know what apps do u refrain from using and what apps do u have…
hi anon bb!! (´∀`)♡ thank you so much!!!!! i rly love it hehe i feel like myself again (*/ω\*)
ah yes!!! so i actually only use tumblr on a daily basis, believe it or not! tumblr is the only social media site that i check every day and that i regularly post to. i technically have a twitter account and have an instagram account, but i don’t post to either of them at all and only check them once or twice a week on average (usually to look for something specific ie leaks).
omg i ran out of tags LMAO it’s been a while since that happened but anyway my thoughts are down there!!! i hope you have a lovely friday sweetpea <3 stay safe and stay healthy!!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )
#instagram is something i could see myself using in the future but i just have literally nothing to post there atm#like i think it would be fun to have an instagram that works in conjunction with my blog but#currently i have no photos to post there!!! like as a writer i’d love to post desk tours and set up stuff etc#except i don’t have a desk right now LMAO#so maybe one day in the future when i finally have my own office space/writing studio#but for now there’s nothing there for me#and then twitter is just hell on earth like#i always leave that app feeling worse than when i opened it#everyone over there is chronically online and just ??????? very odd#it helps that none of my irl friends use social media for personal purposes as well#so none of us have like personal accounts yk??#and i stay far far faaaar away from my family on social media HAHAHA#blocked everyone i went to high school with pretty much exactly when i graduated high school so#there’s no temptation to go like check up on anyone; i also genuinely do not care what they’re doing so that helps as well#idk honestly i think it comes down to 1. having no desire to be on those sites/apps and 2. having extreme self control#any time i even think about just mindlessly scrolling my head goes ‘yeah but think of all the other more fun and more productive things you#could be doing that will make you feel 100 times better than being on either of those apps’#and then im like ur right brain!!!!! and then the desire is gone!!#so hopefully that makes sense?????#i think that the internet and social media can be extremely beneficial especially for artists of all mediums as well as those looking to#connect with certain communities or groups (whether that be activist groups or support groups or fandoms etc)#and i think that’s really incredible#BUT at the same time it’s a double-edged sword and it can be extremely detrimental and toxic to us and our health#especially with the (pseudo) anonymity the internet provides people with that just completely robs them of any empathy they might’ve had#and the comparison culture etc etc you know the list goes on forever#SO to me the best thing anyone can do is use the internet/social media with an intent and purpose in mind and STICK TO IT#so for example i use it to share my writing with others#that’s my focus; that’s my goal. i’ll share a few surface bits and pieces of my life with everyone here but my main focus is to share my#writing. so keeping that goal in mind helps to keep me from straying from it and spending too much time online#i’ve really rambled here ugh i hope this makes sense hehe i just woke up like an hour ago so i’m still 😴😴😴 hahaha
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GalaxyCon
I should probably post about GalaxyCon before I forget everything, huh?
My first day was Saturday and I. Was not prepared. Most of the cons I’ve attended are fandom-specific, and can draw large crowds, but nothing compared to this. According to a news article the next day, there were some 50,000 attendees.
I’d originally only planned to go Saturday, but then Colin’s panel was announced for Sunday, so I got another ticket for then. Saturday was spent beating my way through the crowds (or, more accurate, being beaten) - and getting my photo op with Colin.
It’s been four years since I’d last seen him at Enchanted 2, and damn, he looked amazing. The op was brief, because they do thousands of photos in one day, so I barely had time to do more than say ‘hi’ and ‘thank you.’ He thanked me for coming, and at that point I remembered just how blue his eyes were, and how lovely that Irish brogue is, since it’s currently very thick after being in Ireland for so long. Yup, I still swoon for Colin.
I didn’t get an autograph, but a friend did, and I hung around in line with her until were almost to Colin. His line was so long, it wrapped into the next aisle. I’m not sure the staff anticipated his popularity. And while I was in line, someone told Colin how long his line was, and he gave a little “Yeah!” and put up his arms.
Then we have the Sunday panel. I’m trying to remember as much as I can, but I know I’ll miss things. I’ll put it under a cut, since this is starting to run long.
First of all, kudos to the panel moderator, who helped rephrase questions and guide Colin so he could follow strike rules. That can’t have been easy, so good on GalaxyCon for being prepared and still being able to give us a great panel experience.
Colin was introduced as that actor from That Show, and That Other Show, and That One Movie, etc. At some point, OUAT became ‘The Thing,’ and now I want to embrace that as the show’s alternate title. Also, that would be an awesome crossover.
Anyway... We got a brief introduction, and Colin talked about how hot it was (it had been well over 90 degrees, with a Real Feel of over a hundred, on the day he arrived) and how he’d chosen to wear a suit jacket over his t-shirt and had Regrets.
He apologized for if he was difficult to understand, because he knew how thick his accent was, but someone yelled out they loved it, which he then said was why he brought it up, because he wanted people to say that.
He also said he was doing the panel because he liked having people tell him how great he was, to which the moderator had the entire crowd yell out, “You’re great!”
Then we got to the most bizarre mix of questions I’ve ever heard, and it was wonderful. Things we learned included:
- Colin owns 30 guitars, one of which belonged to Ringo Starr. He has another one that belonged to someone famous, but I can’t remember whom
- If he were a dog breed, he’d be a black Labrador retriever mix
- If he were a comic book superhero (the comic part is very important) he’d want to be Batman. He wanted to be Superman once, but now he wants to be Batman. He earned a blue candy for this, which he promptly put in his mouth with predictable results. Dude, don’t eat candy when you know you’re gonna have questions, LOL.
- Voice acting roles aren’t taboo, so he talked a bit about how different it was to voice Douxie, and how different it was to do dialogue in a booth because he had to be more dynamic rather than speak normally. He also at one point did a bit of Gerry the Leprechaun for us.
- Colin was asked about his feelings on ‘Rise of the Titans.’ He said he enjoyed it, then said he trusted the writers to know what’s best for the characters. I’m not sure if that’s how he really felt, or if he’s just being careful.
- If he were two scoops of ice cream, he’d be pistachio and vanilla - the real vanilla, with the bean.
- He likes pineapple on pizza. He will accept no criticism of this.
- If that one character with the thing on his hand had a dog breed, it would be a black Labrador retriever mix.
- Something he did for The Thing was play INXS’s ‘Need You Tonight’ and did a little strut while wearing the coat. Colin demonstrated. I died.
- When asked what comic villain he would want to be, he said the Joker. This earned him a green candy. He ate it, though he also said he didn’t care for the candy. Colin, why.
- If he could have one mythical creature as a pet, it would be Cerberus. But the heads would be black Labrador retriever mixes. I’m starting to think Colin really loves his dog.
- At one point, Colin said he was having a lot of trouble with this, and that he was worried he’d say the wrong thing. The panel mod assured him that he was doing well. I felt bad for him, because yeah, this can’t have been easy.
- Colin was asked what his most ridiculous phobia is. Colin answered that he fears NOTHING. Except panels.
- When asked if he still talks to people from The Thing, he said a very firm but teasing NO - then proceeded to list a number of people that he does, in fact, talk to.
- Then there’s the beard... at the end of the panel, he said he can’t talk about it, but there’s a reason he has the ‘stupid beard.’ He really doesn’t like it, and it’s kind of hilarious that thanks to the strike, he’s kinda stuck with it for an indeterminate period of time.
And that’s all I remember. If you have more, please add to this post!
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PROPAGANDA
STARFIRE (DC COMICS) (CW: Sex Trafficking)
1.) She is frequently put down in the og 80s comics due to being more expressive and open with her emotions, and ever since the og she has frequently been painted as just eyecandy (ignoring her sexual trauma) when her character is so incredibly complex. Special mention goes to red hood and the outlaws (2011) (written by a sexual harasser) for just terrible stand out awful reasons which will be seen in the below photos and her 2015 solo for combining her vapid portrayal there with her cartoon quirkiness to culminate in a trash comic that is just her basically being the born sexy yesterday trope.
2.) 2011 reboot, in RHATO she was turned into a walking fetish by retconning most parts of her character and erasing all personality displayed in the past 30 years of comics. in that iteration she is only interested in sex and is dehumanised and ‘exotic’. she ‘forgot’ all her past relationships because she doesn’t care about them only sex. her only purpose in that book is as a powerhouse and a sex/love interest for one of the male characters who view her as a trophy because she used to date someone he dislikes (in this continuity) let’s also not forget that she was first created just to be a love interest and although she did grow into a hood character at some point, she is treated horribly time and time again by writers because of conflicting ships. she’s written as a ‘vixen’ as opposed to another ‘good girl’ female character who is shipped with the same guy in canon
3.) Her original characterization was fairly decent, however it still had her stuck in relationships with men that weren’t very good for her and had overtones of racism with how she was written. Post that her characterization was slowly chipped away at, some writers with harder sledgehammers than others, culminating in current writing where she’s dismissed as “just a fling” to her original counterpart (Dick Grayson) to prop up a different ship (Dick Grayson/Barbara Gordon) and frequently has been used as eye candy in other comics. Simply open the first comic of Red Hood and the Outlaws, which obliterated her personality to make her associate/be subservient to the Red Hood, and you’ll find plenty of panels of her appearing simply for eye candy in the boobs and butt pose for absolutely no reason. This is not the only time she’s been used to cater to the male gaze (I’d argue even in her original context that was part of her appeal) but in this comic she essentially has no personality beyond “i want sex” as her memory of all past events has been erased. She’s essentially just a tool for her male counterparts in the comic to bounce off of, and eye candy to bring more male readers in. She does eventually get more storylines later on, but that doesn’t excuse the bad writing she was put through. Her own solo series also cashes in on her sex appeal, by infantilizing at the same time as drawing her in skimpy outfits + more boobs and butt poses galore to go for the “born sexy yesterday” misogynistic trope.
GWEN (BBC MERLIN) (CW: Mind Control, Adultery)
1.) She was one the main 4 characters in the show and basically the leading lady as the show went on and YET. She was literally treated like an object to make her pain a point of conflict and angst for the male characters and then SHE WAS BARELY EVEN THERE. FOR THE SEASON FINALE. THE LEADING WOMAN. so that the writers could focus on their male characters more. Also in season 4 the writers forgot that they had to make a Guinevere/Lancelot affair happen (to follow the Arthurian canon that they ~totally~ were following before. this is sarcasm btw). But at that point Gwen as a character was not in a place where she would do that. So instead of writing something actually good they decided to just have Gwen end up with an Enchanted Bracelet That Makes You Cheat On People. I’m not joking. So it wasn’t even her choice to have an affair and they never explore the implications of this. And it’s never even revealed to the characters that she didn’t choose this. She’s just. Never vindicated. Evil and terrible.
2.) At the beginning of the series there was on episode when Gwen was like “women should be allowed to fight” (in a battle that was happening). A big part of her character at the beginning was also knowing armor and weaponry bc she was the blacksmith’s daughter. But then in the series finale they had her say something along the lines for “I’m not meant to fight” just so she could be gone so that the writers could just write about the two male leads
3.) Okay also in the last season they didn’t know what to do with Gwen’s character so for almost half the season they made a plot line where she was mind controlled (again :)))) after being kidnapped and tortured. And like. Again instead of focusing on her and the effects it had on her they made the whole thing an excuse to get Male Lead # 1 and # 2 angsty about it. They had to like. Knock her out and throw her into a lake (magic baptism???) to reverse mind control and then they literally never her reaction to the whole situation ever. Literally objectified for the plot.
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Get to know your fanfic writer
Thanks @jamilas-pen for the tag!
When did you post your first ever fanfic?
It would have been some time in early 2005 on Fanfiction.net
I’d essentially been writing fanfiction in notebooks in the 90s but before then our computer was in a shared computer room and we had 30 minutes of dial up allowance per sibling per day so I never browsed the internet enough to understand what fanfiction was and that people would want to read things. I was just having fun!
Then Livejournal (and later AO3) happened and the rest, as they say, was history.
First Character(s) you wrote for?
Ash and Misty in Pokémon (largely unpublished and just for fun until 2007) and then my first published fanfic was for Paine and Nooj from Final Fantasy X-2
Main character(s) you’re currently writing for:
I do still love a bit of Pokémon fanfiction. But mainly nowadays I’m writing David/Patrick (Schitt’s Creek), Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper) and, occasionally, Tim/Lucy (The Rookie). I’m also working through a very long (for me) story based on a series of books I read as a child (Animal Ark) so we can add Mandy Hope and James Hunter to the list even if I take massive hiatuses on it.
I have severe ADHD though so I tend to be very flighty with fandoms. The ones that have stuck around are ones that I have essentially trauma bonded myself to (I can date my periods of stress to when a particular piece of media came out because I’m still obsessed with it decades later!)
Character(s) you haven’t written about before but plan on writing about soon:
I’m not sure there are any… I tend to just throw myself in!
EDIT: I never did write the Basil/Polly Fawlty Towers fic I outlined in 2010 while camping at work when I was snowed in. I have also considered writing a Daphne/Niles Frasier fic but have never got round to it. Because I am 50 at heart.
Fandom(s) you’re currently writing for:
Schitt’s Creek
Heartstopper
Pokémon
Animal Ark
Platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:
I don’t tend to write a lot of platonic stuff. I did enjoy recently writing Patrick Brewer & Ronnie. I have also been known to write tiny snippet stories set in the Discworld and they always involve something platonic.
Romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:
Nick/Charlie
David/Patrick
Ash/Misty
James Hunter/Mandy Hope
Your top 3 tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):
Friends to lovers
Canon compliant
Drabble
Your current platform where you post your works:
AO3
Post something from a wip:
I’m stuck on a scene that needs to go between the most recently published one and this one so have a random scene from the Animal Ark fanfiction that I am writing purely for my own enjoyment:
The photo he had landed on was one she hadn't seen in years; she remembered when she flicked through the facebook album when they got home that it hadn't even registered as something she should dwell on, the trip had been full of too much safari excitement. But now… she dwelled. The two of them were sat, questionably close, on a bed in a wood panelled hotel room; his chin propped up on her shoulder as they read a book together- the title had been lost to memory- and his arm braced behind her. She remembered a kid from their travel party, young and excitable like she had once been, taking the photo before either of them realised she was there and it ending up nestled in a photo album that was otherwise posed and purposeful. A little secret anomaly. After, when the flash had made them jump and they broke apart, she remembered the feeling of guilt, of being caught in the act of something that she couldn't quite identify. He hadn't ever come away with them again, life had got busier, and she never told him about the hot, quivering feeling that had overtaken her in the seconds before they were interrupted. How, if he had come just a little closer, she would have closed the gap and kissed him. It would have been a first for both of them, and it would have been clumsy and awkward, but she would have done it without a moment’s hesitation if she hadn't been startled by that camera. She had forgotten about it, truthfully, for a long time, but now the memory of that unfamiliar heat rising up in came flooding back when he stepped closer to her.
And, just in case, another from a little Heartstopper scene I started in lieu of getting up and doing anything productive at 8am this morning:
Charlie’s voice, more like music in his ear than the sounds he had just created, played somewhere nearby. Close, but not close enough until he stepped forward and peered down at Nick. From this angle, the glow of the neon sign cast shadows across the angles of his face; highlighted the fullness of his lips in a way that made Nick feel hot. He looked away, tried to inject something that would sound like humour in to his voice.
“I’m trying!”
“Here, budge up, let me help.”
I always feel awkward about tagging anyone so, I tag anyone who wants to answer!
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Luna’s (free) Tiktok Book Marketing Service — Start Here
Like many viewing this post, I’m a writer who aspires to one day share my finished stories with the world. Learning to market creative works, to interact appropriately and comfortably with readers, and build my confidence as a professional are skills I must acquire to achieve my long-term publishing goals. My dilemma? I’ve yet to finish editing my most developed novel’s draft, which means I’ve no books of my own to offer readers.
Here’s where you come in:
Currently, I have no published works. So… let me market for you.
How It Works
I’ll create a video with your story as my inspiration. I’ll add atmospheric music and free-to-use images edited to suit your story’s aesthetic. All information regarding where to read the book, its cover, its genres, title, and tropes will be shared, too. I create various types of videos. See below for details.
Q&A
To whom is this offer extended? Indie authors— kindle, KU, wattpad writers. Basically, if your story can be read or purchased online and isn’t traditionally published, this offer goes out to you.
What’s your tiktok?
bard_and_book
Where do I sign up?
The google form can be found here
How soon can I expect to see my video on the tiktok account?
It depends. Certain types of videos are easier to make, simply because they require less research and prep on my part. Keep in mind I’m a disabled writer who is offering my time and labor without asking for anything in return. I’m making these because I enjoy the work. Helpibg other creatives brings me so much joy and making art refills my creative well. That said, my health and happiness will always come first. If you leave your contact information in the designated place within the form I’ll do my best to communicate the progress of your book’s video ad.
What sort of photos do you use?
I will only ever use copyright-free images. Using art ethically and not without the artist’s permission is important to me. If a photo used in one of my videos is copyrighted, please inform me immediately. I will correct my mistake and repost the video with that image replaced by a free-to-use alternative.
How can I express my gratitude to you for the work you’re doing?
Thank you for thinking of me! I’d appreciate it if you followed me on tiktok and tumblr. Sharing the videos I create with your readers and writer-friends or reblogging my posts would be an amazing way to show your support for my efforts.
What sorts of scenes will you NOT make videos for or advertise on your page?
I will not share scenes featuring SA, animal death, gore on page, or child death on page on my account. I might consent to advertise books with such content. I do ask that you not submit a scene with these CWs present, however.
What sorts of books will you NOT advertise?
My offer does not extends to nonfiction pieces, christian fiction, weaterns, detective books, military fiction, books with child/adult romances, and fanfiction.
Additionally, books with romanticized or seemingly justified antisemitism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, hate speech, pedophilia, or animal abuse will earn an immediate no from me. I also ask that authors who harbor such beliefs not contact me.
What advice can you give regarding the sorts of scenes I should consider submitting for your tiktok videos?
According to my research, scenes and dialogue exchanges with tension, angst, big reveals, palpable emotion, and cute ‘fluff’ are most popular. What you send me is ultimately up to you. As long as you mind my CW boundaries, I’ll share whatever scenes or lines you choose.
What books, genres, scenes, tropes, etc do you, Luna, prefer to advertise? What content inspires you, personally?
romance — dark, angsty fluffy, and spicy books are welcome
Fantasy
Sci fi
Paranormal
marginalized voices in writing— queer, disabled, PoC, and trans authors
YA, new adult, adult
love declarations and groveling love interests
Love interests who are feral for the main character
flirty exchanges
enemies to lovers or the “villain” gets the happily ever after
character discovers their powers, birthright, true identity, etc
character meeting their friend, romantic interest, enemy, etc for the first time
ballroom or party scenes
Scenes where the love interest says something along the lines of “who hurt you?”
mutual pining
Found family
Vampires, witches, fairies, etc
Dark academia
What sorts of videos do you make?
I’m glad you asked! Here i’ve listed just a few examples. If you don’t see one that catches your interest, I’m more than willing to adapt to fit your vision.
A “If you like this aesthetic, read this book” video, wherein a series of images related to your book’s atmosphere and plot will appear, accompanied by music.
A video featuring a short dialogue exchange pulled from your book. Relevant images and music will also accompany it.
A video showcasing a cool world-building detail from your book
A video introducing your main character, love interest, or villain. This style of video may or may not include memorable quotes said by the character in question. Images and music are included, as well.
A video wherein I, an afab former theatre kid, read a short passage of your book. I’ll read this passage in character, accompanied by relevant images and music.
Can I request more than one video?
Of course! The more of your book you share with the world, the higher its chances of selling well. I’ll also likely repost the videos I make multiple times in order to maximize exposure to readers. Knowing me, I’ve got ideas for other videos I’d like to make about your story. If you’re curious about those ideas, just ask!
NOTE: I reserve the right to refuse a request if it makes me uncomfortable, or I’m struggling to create something for the book I deem acceptable.
#writing community#writers of tumblr#writeblr#indie author#looking for writer friends#writers on tumblr
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Yesterday I took a quick walk to the swamp because Mom had been too weak to talk long.
The western section of the swamp, the one effected by the “new”** beaver dam, had dropped 2 feet in water level in just two days. That means something has happened dam, and most probably the recent local kill the beavers/clear the swamps has started to hit close to home….
So, I was upset. But, interestingly, it has had a good side.
Today Mom was in a bad way. When I called Mom said nothing and my sister-in-law took the phone. She told me Mom was doing her “fish impression”, gasping for air more than breathing, and it probably wasn’t worth trying today because she couldn’t talk and wouldn’t be listening much. She suggested I just try again tomorrow, but I said I wanted to just talk at her for 5 minutes. Just so she could hear me and know I love her….
The phone was set be her head and I started what I expected to be a short monologue to silence. And it sure seemed to be just that, until I started telling her about the beavers. She was unhappy to hear about it and started talking!
Mom and I not only talked a while about that, but then about stuff I’d been working on, stuff I have planned to do, the news, what I watched last night***, and eventually back to reading to her****. I had gone in expecting to too not hear her say anything, and struggle at five minutes, but we went on for nearly 1 1/2 hrs with her still able to say goodbye!
So, basically, I think getting her emotionally hooked with the drained bit of swamp made her feel she needed to talk about it, which in turn gave her the push she needed. Yes, she is incredibly weak and found breathing hard, but sometimes the right motivation can really help.
Funny though, isn’t it? One day something makes me sad, and the next I am so very glad I had it to talk about.
**There are three beaver dams on the swamp along our place:
The “old” dam. It was created something like twenty or twenty five years ago. I’d go every single day to break a hole in it. That sounds like I had it in for the beavers, but actually I was trying to protect them. I knew if the water level got visibly from high nearby road people would “do” something. Then the government decided after a hurricane to use funds to clear the swamps. They were supposed to leave the beavers be, BUT the idiots doing it couldn’t tell a beaver dam if their lives depended on it. “it wasn’t a beaver dam. It was just mud and sticks!” they told Pop. And that was that for beavers for many years.
The “current” dam. When beavers finally returned they build their new dam down stream. This is the one that you see in photos I post, the one that created the lovely pond and where I has been watching the beavers swimming around. The place with the irises and my favorite tree to flop next to. This dam was safe, too far away to effect the road and with the neighbors, being duck hunters, glad it’s there.
The “new” dam. This one was started a couple years ago down stream, close to the western border to our property. It had been “under construction” before I discovered it. I wondered if it was just the next generation moving on their own home or what. That section is still full of trees because the ponding hasn’t been going on that long and it wasn’t as deep yet.
*** “Flight of the Conchords” is my current tv watching. Movie wise things have been disappointing, but this show has been making up for blah movies.
My movie comments were (to use one example..Movie: Company Business) “I hadn’t noticed Mikhail Baryshnikov is short, and I thought he looked about the same height as David McCallum, and OMG they were they WERE the same height! And I swear that movie script was unfinished, like there was stuff that felt like writer place holders to figure out later only they didn’t…which is weird since the writer was also the director. Pity, as a spy movie set in that very specific period where the cold war was ending and no one knew what would come next, with an American and Russian bonding in a thriller/comedy/buddy picture sounds fun.”
I swear, every movie I’ve seen lately (old, new, prehistoric) has ended up with me saying “pity”.
**** Still Terry Pratchett’s The Truth. Mom has had some bad days lately, so we haven’t finished it yet. There was a chunk today about the public not caring as much as out hero about the news he writes, and how no matter how imperfect the Patrician is, how much worse other leaders had been and very likely could be….well, it felt very relevant!
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My name is Celeste. I prefer she/they pronouns, and I’m 30.
because this is a sideblog, and because my main account is my personal, i will be selective in following. i’m a bit selective with whom i write, for my own peace of mind and creative connections. but just because i’m not following you, doesn’t mean i won’t write with you!
my discord is available to mutuals!
my character's spotify playlist is here.
WRITING
open starters are here.
my writing wishlist is here.
memes are here.
i am oc friendly. i am canon friendly. i am multifandom friendly. i do write with duplicates of the same character. i will write with self inserts!
this blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, and does not exercise exclusivity.
i do love to improvise, and i do love realistic drama, but i’d prefer out-of-character permission before anything gets way out of hand. i do control how my character acts and what he thinks and says, and wish for no forced motions or putting words in mouths.
if you reply to an in-character ask, i will make another text post: it’s easier on me. i don’t believe in reblog karma, nor will i get offended if you reblog a meme without sending one. i do reserve the right to not answer an ask if the inspiration doesn’t come.
the same goes for threads. if i get the feeling that we’re both going back and forth waiting for the other to contribute, or if it feels like i’m the only one pulling the weight, or if inspiration has flown the coop, i’ll probably drop it. we could always start something new; or, if you feel like a thread has been ignored without reason, tell me!
i have a very whimsical, formatted way of writing: i write in novella and multiple para. my preferred style is present-tense, third person. sometimes i’m dialogue-heavy. sometimes i use icons, and sometimes i don’t. sometimes a line of dialogue might seem confusing or mushed together for a lyrical word scramble, or my character tends to repeat things already mentioned/translated to him in a reply previous: this is purposeful, and part of a character quirk. i’m more than willing to translate ic babble out-of-character if it’s needed.
i am willing to rp on discord, but since my preferred style is via tumblr, this will only be with mutuals.
SHIPPING
this character flirts. he comments openly of physical, mental, and spiritual beauty, but that never means that I, the writer, am forcing a romantic/etc. relationship. i encourage any and all ic reactions that happen in result.
with shipping, i would like chemistry first and foremost. my character is romantic, but not enough to tie the knot immediately, at least without involved plotting. there will be smut on this blog, but everything is put under a ‘read more’ and will be tagged appropriately. i will not write smut or explicit themes with anyone under 20, & i will block minors.
i have no problem shipping with duplicate characters, or canon characters, so long as the relationship is solid. talk to me ooc! i’m sure we could figure something out.
this character’s past & current relationships are listed here.
GENERAL
i have a timeline on my verses page for the three Dragon Age games made by Bioware, in which the main verse of this character is borne. i have played all three games, and i am very diligent over yt playthroughs and thought-provoking meta. the timeline on my verses page does give yearly points over where my character has been, but they are not fixed points. a thread, or an ask, can completely commence whenever, wherever, all depending on the people involved.
this is a lore and irl magick-based blog, which will include blood and drugs and great, mystic topics, with questionable symbolism, nudity, and sexual situations. i will always tag anything not safe for work, but please tell me if i miss a trigger.
tagging as ’___ for ts’.
most icons are mine, some are by Desii; the icons with the photo-shopped ears are by Gale.
side image credit: -x-
text divider credit: -x-
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Weekend Top Ten #650
Top Ten Songs by Ex-Beatles
Have you heard of this sweet band called The Beatles? Turns out they were really big a few years ago. They had a bunch of hits and then broke up and then were never heard of again.
I kid, I kid. I do wonder sometimes what it must be like to be a Beatle. If you’re like, Paul McCartney; you must walk around with this knowledge that, on balance, you’ve probably had more direct influence on Western popular culture than anyone else currently alive. Who else is there? George Lucas? In terms of sheer number of people touched (not like that). You can absolutely draw a dividing line in music between “before the Beatles” and “after the Beatles”, and whilst I’m sure that does a huge disservice to all the influences the Beatles had, and similar bands that came both before and after, let’s face it – it’s true. They’re, like, the band, just like Wolverine is the X-Man (I don’t think George Lucas is the director, to be fair, but Star Wars is probably the blockbuster; Spielberg is probably the director, if you’re talking about mass appeal, but he’s “just” a guy who’s top of his game and redefined Hollywood moviemaking fifty years ago, but there are other phenomenally successful and talented directors, just as there are other phenomenally successful and talented musicians and writers and artists and, I dunno, pastry chefs. But right now we’re talking about the Beatles).
Because the Beatles were around as a proper group for a surprisingly short amount of time, and because all four of them were Very Good, they’ve had quite a while to build up a collection of solo hits. And that’s what I’m celebrating this week, for no particular reason: the various post-Beatles Beatles songs. I’m gonna come right out the gate and say, I don’t think – generally speaking – any of their solo efforts eclipsed the best of the group’s output; but still, there are some proper bangers here as I’m sure you’re aware. Soulful ballads, love songs, hymns to peace, arguably the best Bond theme, and some frogs. What more do you want out of a legacy?
Now, I’m calling these “solo” songs, when some of these are technically from post-Beatles bands – specifically I’ve got a couple of Wings songs on the list (“the band the Beatles could have been”, A. Partridge). But let’s be honest, Wings is basically Paul and his mates. As, I suppose, the Beatles was, to be fair; but for the sake of this list, as much as it may unfairly underestimate the contributions of his bandmates, I’m just calling Wings songs “Paul McCartney” songs for the time being.
I said there’s no real reason why this list is happening this week – it’s one of those that I’ve been meaning to get around to for a while – but funnily enough I did see something recently that I’ve never seen before. You may or may not be aware, but about a decade or so ago, Robert Zemeckis was going to remake Yellow Submarine. This was when he was deep in his mocap phase; you remember, when the Oscar-winning writer and director of Back to the Future and Who Framed Roger Rabbit decided to sack off live action and just make those freakishly uncanny mannequin movies like The Polar Express. Anyway, he’d assembled a cast and got to work, and then the film was cancelled – probably because these performance capture movies are very expensive to make, generally turned poorly, and more often than not bombed at the box office. As much as I’m not really a fan of the photo-real approach Zemeckis usually went for (like I said, it gives the characters an odd, uncanny look; the same is true, I’d argue, of the human characters in the Shrek movies, which have dated a lot more than, say, the cartoonish Incredibles), I’ve always thought this was a bit of a shame. Zemeckis is a huge Beatles fan, the guys playing the band were really good, and the wackiness of Yellow Submarine meant he might have been able to do some funky shit. And lo and behold, some test footage has emerged. Yes, it’s still a bit weird and uncanny, but it’s also exaggerated and strange; it would have been nice to see if it had held up across an entire film. C’est la vie.
Anyway! Where were we? Oh yeah. A list. Here you go: have at it.
My Sweet Lord (George Harrison, 1970): Harrison wrote a number of songs that are really spiritualistic peans to peace, and this is the greatest. An evocation to the almighty, a striving quest for spiritual understanding, but also something that feels greater, feels allegorical, feels like it’s about more than just God. The Hindi chorus and other eastern influences add flavour and complexity to the sixties-style folk rock, and Harrison’s voice is beautiful. There’s a sadness to it, too, like it’s someone reaching for something they know they can never possess.
Live and Let Die (Paul McCartney, 1973): surely a shoe-in for best Bond song, this is a multifaceted number that I adore for its eccentricities. From the vaguely seventies-folk-rock stylings of the opening, to the almost disco-flavoured instrumental section, to the weird jaunty bits (“When you’ve got a job to do,” sounds like it could be the title song from “Oh James!”, a cheesy sixties sitcom about James Bond), it really runs the gamut. It’s strange, it’s funny, it’s cool, it’s badass. Perfect Bond.
Jealous Guy (John Lennon, 1971): there are, funnily enough, a couple of songs here that seem to express a similar sentiment: a bloke who’s in love with someone and sort of feels he doesn’t deserve them. This is an interesting and complex song, a man apologising for his misdeeds, but presented as an absolute love song. Lennon – arguably the best voice of the band? What do we think? – is on top form here, with a pained, haunted, but ultimately beautiful vocal.
What is Life (George Harrison, 1971): an incredibly upbeat, propulsive love song, and – vaguely similar to Jealous Guy and Maybe I’m Amazed – another one that sees a bloke basically saying he’s nothing without his love. What is life without you by my side? Whether this question is passionate or even metaphysical, the song itself is so beautifully cheery, so optimistic, so jaunty, it makes you feel only good things.
Maybe I’m Amazed (Paul McCartney, 1970): here’s McCartney circling similar topics to his mates; a tender song of a man just flabbergasted that he’s got this woman in his life, attributing all these good things to this one other person. There's a fantastic juxtaposition, too, between the beautiful piano ballad and the throaty, stadium rock register in which McCartney sings; like the love is bursting out in explosive fashion, even in a tender love song.
Band on the Run (Paul McCartney, 1973): this is just so delightfully weird; a bonkers hymn to, well, I don’t really know what. The number of different styles and genres it explores, the multiple types of musicality, the different vocals and instrumentations, all telling a story that frankly defies explanation. There’s a touch of the Seargent Pepper to it, but with the oddness dialled all the way up to nearly Walrus proportions.
Gimme Some Truth (John Lennon, 1971): Lennon is perhaps most famous, post-Beatles, for his songs about peace and love. This, though, is an angry tirade at “short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics”; a howl of fury at The Man and all he has wrought. It’s also got some fantastic wordplay and stunning lyrical work – “son of Tricky Dicky”, the use of “Mother Hubbard” as a euphemism. Plus Harrison making magic on guitar.
Give Me Love (George Harrison, 1973): another one of Harrison’s songs of love, peace, and tranquillity that can either be seen as resolutely spiritual – asking god for love – or just, well, a song about someone he fancies, wanting love with this one person. It's beautiful and optimistic, a quest for eternal happiness, with some great lyrics. He just made you feel happy, by George.
We All Stand Together (Paul McCartney, 1984): I’m being deadly serious. Macca comes in for some stick for some of his, er, weirder songs – Mull of Kintyre also nearly made the list – but outside of me flat-out loving this song as a kid, it’s a very well-constructed harmony and is a masterpiece for its target audience. The dude’s got range is what I’m saying.
It Don’t Come Easy (Ringo Starr, 1971): now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’ve just stuck this sole Ringo song here at the end of the list because I felt bad that the star of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends didn’t write anything as good as his former bandmates. To which I say: what’s that over there?! Seriously, though, whilst I don’t think anyone would try to claim that Mr. Starkey is quite the solo artist his fab friends are, this song is still a nice chunky bop that sounds like something from the Beatles’ heyday and also has an appealing bit of edge to it.
So this list, right; this was incredibly hard. In fact, it’s basically arbitrary; there were at least another five or six songs (Beautiful Boy, Silly Love Songs, All Things Must Pass) that could have been on this list – just as good, really, as the songs I’ve chosen. And the placements of most of the songs could easily be swapped almost entirely. It turns out that the Beatles are very good at music. Who knew? Cilla, probably.
Something else I’m just going to say quickly, is whilst the achievements of the Beatles are phenomenal in and of themselves, I can never get over how George Harrison more or less did the same thing all over again by effectively saving the British film industry in the 1980s. Honestly, the guy wrote While My Guitar Gently Weeps, and got everything from Life of Brian to Withnail and I to Mona Lisa made. Genius.
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The Liberals just had themselves a “twofer.” For the second time in as many weeks, Liberal party insiders and their surrogates online saw attacks against newly recruited Conservative candidates backfire spectacularly, succeeding only in raising the profiles of the would-be Parliamentarians.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took aim at Conservative candidate for Durham Jamil Jivani on Thursday, calling Jivani, who is biracial, a “ twofer ” in an address to his caucus. Trudeau explained, in the next sentence, that by “twofer,” he meant that Jivani was “both an ideologue and an insider.” The prime minister’s unfortunate choice of words nevertheless gave the 36-year-old Jivani an opening to put together a rapid-fire counter-attack.
The irony is that Jivani is exactly the sort of “star candidate” that, under different circumstances, would have Liberals salivating. Indeed, the parallels between Jivani’s personal history, detailed in his 2018 book Why Young Men and that of ex-U.S. president Barack Obama are hard to ignore — right down to the Kenyan-born absentee father and the Ivy League law degree (Jivani graduated from Yale Law School in 2013). Throw in the fact that Jivani beat Stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma, being declared “cured of cancer” just weeks ago, and we’re well into “made for TV movie” territory. Why Trudeau and other prominent Liberals would fritter away scarce political capital by going after Jivani is anyone’s guess, especially when he won’t be facing especially strong competition in the race for ex-Tory leader Erin O’Toole’s old seat in the March 4 by-election. Liberal nominee Robert Rock, currently a municipal councilor, ran unsuccessfully against Jivani for the riding’s Conservative nomination.
The Liberal meltdown over Jivani echoes the party’s similarly counterproductive targeting, one week earlier, of 35-year-old ex-National Post columnist Sabrina Maddeaux. Maddeaux was attacked online by two sitting Liberal MPs, one of them a cabinet member, just hours after posting her own video to X announcing that she was seeking the Conservative nomination for Aurora—Oak Ridges—Richmond Hill. (Disclosure: Sabrina is a personal friend and I made a small donation to her campaign shortly after it launched, though I am not a member of any political party.) Maddeaux was subsequently targeted by an army of pro-liberal trolls, with criticisms of the stylish ex-fashion writer at times crossing the line into creepy. One especially skin-crawling post paired a photo of Maddeaux taken at a fashion event with the caption, “Really? Sabrina is a ‘conservative’? Not sure I’d wear that to Sunday school.”
Ickiness aside, this has all made for excellent publicity for Maddeaux, whose two-minute campaign announcement video now has nearly 400,000 views on X. Maddeaux, like Jivani, is an accomplished and telegenic young urbanite whom the Liberals would no doubt have loved to run themselves in a competitive Greater Toronto Area riding. As a columnist, Maddeaux wrote prolifically on issues affecting urban millennials like herself, notably housing. Her segue into Conservative politics is emblematic of the party’s rising fortunes among younger Canadians.
The prime minister also singled out 33-year-old Oxford MP Arpan Khanna in his Thursday address. Khanna was reportedly the target of racist campaigning during last year’s bruising Oxford by-election. More recently, he’s been at the center of heretofore unsuccessful Liberal and NDP efforts to stoke anxieties over alleged Indian election interference. A thinly sourced story published earlier this month by the transparently partisan Press Progress claimed that the vote that made Khanna the Conservative party’s nominee for Oxford is currently under investigation by CSIS. The Liberal party’s baffling attacks on three promising young Conservatives show, above all, just how dramatically party demographics have changed during the Trudeau years. Whereas the expression “stale, pale and male” once broadly fit the Conservative party caucus, the Liberals don’t seem to have a playbook for dealing with a diverse crop of young political talent that’s flocked to the Big Blue Tent under Pierre Poilievre.
Without the epithets “old”, “male” and “white” at its disposal, the once lethal Liberal attack machine now looks to be toothless.
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BETTER OF ITSELF One of my main rules as a writer is: "No rage bait." A common method for raising online engagement is making people angry, because angry people have a lot to say, and high interaction boosts your posts to a wider audience. Assuming you have no conscience for constantly keeping people upset, it's a cycle you can gleefully pursue with no predicted endpoint. I think about that a lot in Bear River, because going all the way back to 2010, there's been an off-and-on gossip blog written by one of its residents. It's unhinged to such a degree that's utterly delusional, but it's also a fascinating insight into the addictive quality of perpetual fury. Once you get the roots of a grudge planted deep enough, you'll never consider letting loose. No one seems to see it when they're constantly fuming, but it's a personality trait I can catch the stink of immediately. It's in the folks who see my photos of tough old buildings, then write me a paragraph around the concept of: "They don't build 'em like they used to." It's in the people who post signs on their property attacking a current political leader, or fly flags on their truck to say the same. It's present in everyone who has more to say about what they dislike than what they love. I'm not much for the forces of relentless positivity, but I've never been able to muster the energy that an all-encompassing bitterness requires. Say whatever about the angriest folks in your life, but at least they're hard workers. My late teens was the most upset I ever got. The basic hypocrisy that's obvious in various aspects of everyday society made me feel like I needed to form a sort of opposition. It took a few years to realize that the best rebellion is a better mindset. If you can form an opinion or have a disagreement without fuming about it, that's great. But I'd rather sidestep most conflicts for a world that thinks better of itself. Sitting alone with no one to justify my purpose, disagree with my existence, or tell me I'm living wrong. There's nothing worse to make me better, no fight I'll wage against what's wrong so I can let myself relax. But I've beaten me, finally, like a stubborn boss in a video game. Settled down to say that I don't need the fight, you can have it. More power to you, more peace to me. March 1, 2023 Bear River, Nova Scotia Year 16, Day 5589 of my daily journal.
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OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 1
Hi folks! Welcome to my post of character details for fic writers or really anyone who wants to know! All of these details come directly from the show - they’re just things I picked up on watching the show on intense repeat for screen time, so the details are about as canon as they can get. Some of them, like addresses, come from an specific episode, while others are trends I’ve picked up on. If you want a “citation” for a fact let me know and I can provide one if it exists!
I tried to include a good range of information between the 7 main characters, so that it was available for anyone.
I’m going to keep making these posts every time I get enough details collected so you can find them all under “911 canon character details” in the future! I’m committed to rewatching the whole series again for the regulars’ screen time, so I’ll be making more of these posts throughout the summer. If there’s something in particular you’d like to know, let me know and I can keep an eye out for it.
Things I noticed that might be interesting character details, part 1:
Athena and Bobby live at 1810 Fallsgrove St.
Eddie lives at 4995 S Bedford St Apt 403 (Julia made this fantastic post of the layout of Eddie’s house, and I’ve spent my own significant amount of time trying to work it out, so when I say this layout is spot on, I really mean it). (I believe this is more of a duplex situation - ie he has other neighbors attached to his outside walls, but no downstairs or upstairs neighbors.)
(These two locations are 8 minutes apart, which I personally thought was vvvvvv useful if you wanted to have someone rush from one place to another - also makes me think the 118 would be close to that neighborhood.)
Chim and Maddie live in apartment 2B. It’s a one-bedroom apartment, so currently Jee-Yun is sleeping in their room with them. I’ll be curious to know if they move as she gets older or if they magically spring up a bedroom for her - I just know there isn’t one at the moment bc Albert slept on their couch first, and then when he was injured, THEY slept on the couch.
Buck has two bathrooms! There’s one immediately to the left as you walk in his front door, and then one up in the loft, off the platform. Which I thought was a large number of bathrooms for a loft since it’s such a small space, but useful for when Christopher is visiting I suppose...
The hospital they go to for personal stuff is First Presbyterian. They’ve only started featuring its name prominently this season, but it’s the same waiting room and ER they’ve been using since s2, so I’d assume it’s also in the same neighborhood, since it’s fictional.) It’s on Altamont Street.
Given that you can see the Cecil Hotel from Michael’s apartment, I’d assume he either lives on S Spring St or S Los Angeles St. Either way he’s about twice as far from Athena and Bobby as Eddie is, and in the opposite direction.
Alcohol preferences - Athena prefers white wine, but will also drink rose and red, Hen drinks red and beer but doesn’t do it socially as much as everyone else, Chim is p much strictly beer unless it’s a fancy dinner (or tequila if he really wants to get drunk), Maddie prefers white wine, Buck drinks beer or white wine, and Eddie is a beer dude, red wine if it’s a fancy occasion (this is what they choose if they have a choice like at a bar, or if they’re hosting - eg when Athena hosts, EVERYONE drinks white because that’s what she’d choose.)
Eddie does not have the Hildy coffee maker on his kitchen counter - he still has an older model that only makes coffee.
He also likes to decorate in the color turquoise! (Maybe Shannon liked turquoise so that’s what he tends to buy?? That’s your decision, there’s just a lot of it in his kitchen. Also, his laptop case is turquoise!)
Hen gets a new pair of glasses every year. (Which means she’s doing better than me, I only get a new pair when I lose the old ones 😂)
Athena has two big diamond rings, and she wears one on each of her ring fingers (Bobby has good taste). She does not wear her rings while working.
Bobby has a gold wedding band for home, and wears a black silicone ring at work.
Hen wears her wedding ring all the time, and it’s a plain silver band.
Eddie had a gold wedding band while he was married to Shannon, and he wore it while on active duty in the Army (even during the helicopter crash). He is wearing it after Shannon leaves, but he takes it off before he comes to LA. His St. Christopher’s medal is silver with a navy border, hanging on a silver chain.
Chim prefers the short sleeve uniform. He really never wears the long sleeved one.
Eddie likes soft jazz, and will play it in the background during dinner. Idk if it’s his favorite type of music, but he likes it enough to put it on.
Buck has a picture of the ocean (I think? it’s definitely some sort of landscape) in his work locker - no other photos currently. Eddie has also been seen using this same locker.
Everyone has an iPhone and if they have a computer, it’s a Mac (this one is just bc capitalism - the show is sponsored by Apple). Hen has a red phone case, and Maddie has a navy one with gold trim, everyone else’s is super boring black/navy.
Maddie’s contact for Chim is “Howie” in her phone.
In Eddie’s phone, his contact for Buck is just “Buck”.
Bobby is just “Bobby” in Buck’s phone.
Christopher’s current interests are space and dinosaurs. And gaming!
In addition to Eddie and Albert, Chim also seems to like baseball, going off the jersey on his wall.
Every time we’ve seen Buck and Eddie drive somewhere together, Buck has driven and Eddie took the passenger seat.
Both Eddie and the Wilsons have a fireplace in their living room with framed photos of their kids at various ages.
Karen is a doctor! It’s a PhD, so she couldn’t join the team as a medic, but it does make them the future Drs Wilson. Her specialization is something to do w/ physics or chemistry etc, b/c she worked on a project for JPL on Mars, so you can run with that.
Michael is an architect, and David is a neurosurgeon who can help with emergency medicine.
Work masks: Bobby, Maddie and Athena prefer masks with a loop over each ear, while Eddie, Chim, Buck and Hen use the ones with two straps behind the head. Everyone uses the two ear loop ones for personal time.
Buck sleeps with socks on.
I hope the start to this list met up to your expectations, but if you’re looking for more then it will be on the way soon! I just wanted to get this first set out (plus it was looking a little long in my drafts 😂)
Lots of love!
🐝
Tagging: @imaginebuck
#911 fox#9-1-1#911 on fox#911 canon character details#athena grant#bobby nash#maddie buckley#evan buckley#hen wilson#chimney han#eddie diaz#buddie#bathena#madney#henren#userac#alcohol
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the love project | jjk
summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.
{college!au, friends to lovers!au}
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!
These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur.
At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.
Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks.
Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all.
Your best friend would have to disagree.
“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”
“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”
“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”
He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.
Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode.
Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments.
But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.
“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”
Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did.
He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself.
“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half.
“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”
“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”
“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”
“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”
“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you.
“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”
Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.
There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off.
The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything.
So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong.
“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds.
It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you.
“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated.
“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.
“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”
“What do you have to do?”
Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”
You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly.
“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”
“Oh,” You say dumbly.
“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”
“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you.
Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”
“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”
“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”
“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years.
“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”
He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost.
Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about.
“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”
“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”
He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.
“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”
“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless.
“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”
“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.
You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together.
Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest.
Click.
“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?
From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task.
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”
“Well, how many do you have now?”
It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.
You wonder what the hell he sees in you.
“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement.
“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows.
It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click.
He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why.
“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?
“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”
“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”
You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”
“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”
“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair.
“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”
Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems.
The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you.
When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.
“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.
“I never want to miss anything.”
“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”
“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”
“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?
“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”
At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship.
You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it.
Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio.
Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic.
This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since.
It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have.
“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows.
“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”
“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in.
You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”
“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.
“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”
“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once.
“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”
“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.
“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”
Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”
“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”
“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”
“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this.
You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right?
The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.
“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins.
“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing.
You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”
You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention.
“Y/N!”
You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind.
Another voice breaks you from your trance.
“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide.
The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes.
“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”
“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to.
Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you.
“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”
The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”
Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you.
“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”
“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”
“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you?
What do you not know?
By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.
This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?
Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.
You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence.
Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them?
Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.
Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.
So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.
An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met.
And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.
The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.
“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.
The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor.
“Whoa.”
“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook.
“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”
“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”
“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”
“Yeah.”
It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date.
“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”
“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”
“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this.
“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”
Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”
“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”
“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”
“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”
You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you.
“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”
“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief.
Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”
He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it.
Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it.
And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory.
Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away.
You wonder what he sees.
(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)
“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.
You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders.
“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”
Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door.
“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”
There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.
“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”
Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door.
For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left.
The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind.
You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet.
[November 7th, 8:48PM]
You: you still game for that movie?
[November 7th, 8:50PM]
Jungkook: you finished your date already?
You: is that a yes or a no
Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that
You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over
The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.
Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side.
But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet.
Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive.
“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist.
“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him.
“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them.
You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”
“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted.
“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”
Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing.
Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter.
“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”
“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”
To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash.
He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them.
“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.
Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him.
Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”
The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card.
“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black.
“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised.
Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure.
“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body.
The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is.
“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you.
“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”
“I want to see it.”
“What? My project?”
“What else?”
“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”
You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”
“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”
“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”
“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?
“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown.
“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back.
You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further.
“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.
Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”
And that’s good enough for you.
You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.
You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.
“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”
“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”
“How do you know what feels right?”
Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him.
The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet.
So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?
Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment.
The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester.
Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there.
Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that.
Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?
Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right.
“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”
“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk.
Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room.
You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world.
As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well.
The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen.
There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written.
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.
What?
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page…
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
“Y/N?”
You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling.
“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed.
“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom.
“Uh—”
“Were you reading my computer screen?”
It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else.
“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head.
(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)
“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease.
“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart.
“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”
“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you.
“So you are hiding something?”
“That’s not the point, the point is that—”
“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”
“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving.
He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless.
“Jungkook—?”
“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”
“Know what? What would I know?”
Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”
The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating.
“You’re in love with me?” You ask him.
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”
You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”
Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”
“And you are mine,” you remind him.
“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”
“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”
And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain.
You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing.
But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure.
He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth.
He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about.
By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out.
“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”
“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.
“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”
Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process.
You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world.
“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”
“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”
“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”
“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”
“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”
“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious.
It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side.
“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her.
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”
↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#bts au#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#w: the love project#yes i am finishing this at 6am on the day its meant to be posted... MIND UR OWN BUSINESS
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perks of jcink for rp
i’ve seen a couple of people in the rpc interested in jcink rping and as someone who’s been rping on the platform for 5+ years, i thought i would make a list of some perks of the platform that i believe lends itself to a good rping experience!
i know jcink can seem intimidating so this is not a tutorial on how to rp on jcink but rather maybe some reasons to check it out! a lot of jcink rps are guest friendly so you can just poke around them and see all the accounts & current threads to see how it might look in action. i’m also happy to answer any questions you might have, i’d just love to see some new people trying out jcink!
jcink is rper friendly
the creator is super responsive in support forums and is well aware that rpers make up a large member base
they often add features over time that help make rping easier!
much more stable & reliable. i have never heard of boards getting randomly deleted like what is happening with tumblr right now
account creation & account switcher
accounts on a jcink site are incredibly easy to create. you can reuse the same email for multiple accounts
if you have multiple characters you create separate accounts for each of them and they can be linked to one parent account
there is a drop down menu to switch between all your accounts and when you are posting you can select which account to post as
all notifications for sub accounts can be sent to your parent account to have it all in one place!
threading
a jcink board is made up of forums & subforums, which are sorted into different categories. there are various forums for actual rping: text messages, phone calls, and locations in the setting (residences, dining, etc) where threads can take place
each thread is created as a topic in a forum where each participant will post replies in back and forth, no reply trimming necessary. this makes it super easy to read and have in one place to return to after it’s been completed as well
topics can be ‘tracked’ which will give you a notification whenever there’s a reply
threads can be any length! while the forum format makes it much easier to write longform threads, there are plenty of jcink writers (myself included) that write shorter “rapid fire” posts which can be anywhere from a one liner to ~250 words
profiles
one of the features jcink added was customizable profile fields. sites can add any fields they want for various stats on the profile view for accounts
because of this a lot of sites have moved over to profile applications which means you just complete the profile as the application. it can include stats, freeform / bio, and even a moodboard depending on how the site has set it up
it’s super easy to see other character’s information because it’s included on the profile view
post templates
though plain text readability is a huge plus for forum based rp, most sites also have post templates that utilize html to format posts for threads, text / phone calls, social media accounts, and development posts
it is pretty much standard that sites will have their own “code bank” for members to use on site and you won’t have to find or make your own!
these templates can be extremely helpful for things like an instagram account for your character, you don’t need to use a graphics template just plug in photo links to the html template
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CFWC Writer of the Month Profile - Feb 2022 Issabees
Each month CFWC highlights one of our many talented fanfic writers and this month's writer of the month is @issabees! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below!
The writer is selected randomly, and the criteria can be found on our navigation page.
Blog: @issabees
How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Issa
Issa's Blog
Issa's Masterlist
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1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? Let me check when I first downloaded the app…November 2016! I believe the first book was The Freshman as it was the default book to start with at the time.
2- When, and why, did you join Choices fandom? Pretty recently, around the end of March 2021! I wanted to join because I had just found out that there was a fandom in Tumblr and I had been meaning to become more active on the platform.
3- How did you pick your url name? issa is from my name while bees is from that time when I stumbled upon this really cute photo of a bee right as I was picking out my URL!
4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. Oooh…it’s a post where I introduce myself and what books I’ve read + what I was planning to make! Definitely need to pull through with those book-based playlists I promised myself 🙈
5- How long have you been writing fanfiction? Including other fandoms, I believe since 2011! I started writing for this Nickelodeon series House of Anubis, but stopped when the series ended. Then I picked up writing again when The Freshman Book 3 was released (though I never posted those anywhere).
6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about? As of right now, The Nanny Affair and Queen B (though I haven’t posted QB fics yet) because they’re the ones I really got to read properly as I don’t play that often anymore.
7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it? Ahaha, that would be 9:30 AM! I still love it because I really liked writing something that would constructively criticize TNA Book 2 and its direction at the time, but I would definitely add more to the story. Hopefully, I do in the future!
8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written? Hmm, it has to be the Alone Together mini-series. I never really saw Robin Flores as a possible LI, but it was really fun to write fics where that would be the goal as I got to flesh out his character more!
9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be, but it could use a little more love? I think the ones that I have made did go well when they were newly posted! Because I’m kind of new here (+ I don’t post very often and I think TNA’s overall reception here), I did expect that it wouldn’t really be recognized right away. But seeing the notes I have received, I was honestly surprised to find more than two or three people reacting to it! I am definitely still grateful for that, because I like being able to make someone happy (even for just a moment) with my writing.
10- What is your specialty as a fanfic writer? I’d like to think it’s angst! I really like writing about people confronting a harsh truth about their current reality, especially in TNA and QB (which I am planning to post hopefully soon!) where there are (or should be) plenty of opportunities for the main characters to introspect and wonder about the good and the bad of their actions.
11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? Hmm, it’s a tie between angst or fluff (even if my life depended on it, I just can never write smut)! I like how angst grounds you back to reality, while fluff celebrates even the simpler moments in life. But if I really had to pick, I think it’s angst! 🙈
12- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MC’s or in your writing? To some degree, yes! I still prioritize my MCs (or any character) staying faithful to what has already been established in the books they are from, but there are moments in the story when I feel like they need to break away from that. A lot of my writing also has the characters introspecting, so these two instances are where I try to kind of integrate some of my personal thoughts.
13- What element of writing do you struggle with most? Establishing subplots for sure. I have tons of notes on worldbuilding and character development littered everywhere (Notion, Bear, Google Docs and Sheets, notebook.ai, etc.) and I often have the general plot pinned down, but I’m stumped when it comes to forming what happens between Points A and B.
14- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish? All of them…🙈 especially the Queen B fics! I really want to finish this one fic because it kind of serves as a guide for an even bigger project, but I get writer’s block every time I open the WIP.
15- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? Yes! I’m not quite sure which story to suggest but maybe 9:30 AM and/or I Wanna Love You (But I Don’t). They are my shorter fics so it won’t demand much of the person’s time, but I think they’re nice to give that person an idea of what I write about!
16- Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? For published authors, I like to take notes from Emily Giffin (Something Borrowed), David Nicholls (One Day), and Alain de Botton (The Course of Love). They really influenced how I write and what to write about. For fanfic writers, there are so many to name but one for sure is Em (@txemrn)! Her fics were the first I have read when I joined the fandom, and they were what inspired me to write again this time!
17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? Alone Together! Definitely would need to flesh the story out, though, but I’m super down for that! If anything, I think it might turn out to be something similar to the Before Sunrise film, but TNA (if that makes sense? hahaha)
18- Do you write original stories? I used to, but I stopped because I thought I didn’t know much at the time to write something meaningful. I do have one planned as of the moment, but I’m setting that aside first to write fanfics.
19 - What other hobbies do you have? Binge-watching TV shows, making edits for a side blog, baking, and sleeping!
20 - What’s your favorite emoji? It’s a tie between the see no evil monkey emoji (🙈) and the sparkling heart emoji (💖)!
21: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).
Hope everyone is having a lovely day! Take care and stay safe! 💖
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Billy Is Going To Find The Byers
IMPORTANT: If you haven’t read my post “The Demogorgon Is Billy’s Dark Reflection,” please check it out, as it goes hand in hand with this one. Thanks :D
A few months ago, we all got our first look at some of the new characters for S4. I checked them out with great interest.
“Lt. Colonel Sullivan... military dude in Hawkins... cool, makes sense. Victor Creel... ooooooh, played by Robert Englund, betcha he’s gonna be one of El’s predecessors. Eddie Munson... damn, he’s super sus. Argyle... Jonathan’s new bff, who delivers pizza for--”
I stopped.
And freaked. OUT.
Argyle delivers pizza for Surfer Boy Pizza.
Surfer Boy Pizza.
SURFER BOY PIZZA.
A whole constellation of dots connected, and I knew IMMEDIATELY where this is heading. Let’s walk through it step by step... starting with the inception of Stranger Things itself.
The Duffers love the movie Jaws, to the point that they give it pride of place in their list of inspirations. Hell, Stranger Things probably wouldn’t have existed without it. Initially, as a homage to the movie, the show was set in a Long Island beach town called Montauk. The setting didn’t change until the Duffers began pre-production:
They began by scouting locations on the northern tip of Long Island, but the community - so integral to the script - didn’t look as they had imagined, and its distance from New York City made the idea of anchoring the production there unfeasible. A new approach was required. (Worlds Turned Upside Down, p 25)
After that, they rewrote the script to take place in Indiana, and “Hawkins was born.”
Still, you can tell their love for Jaws lingered. Hopper’s truck looks like Martin Brody’s:
Meanwhile, the Demogorgon was inspired by the shark, and the show isn’t shy about that fact. In S1, when Nancy explains her theory for what the Demogorgon is, she likens its bloodlust to that of a shark:
In the final episode, when Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve are hiding from the Demogorgon in Will’s room, the Jaws poster hangs prominently in the left side of the frame:
Furthermore, the Demogorgon’s behavior emulates that of the shark. Like Nancy points out, it hunts alone, emerging from the Upside Down (*COUGHTHEOCEANCOUGH*) to pick people off one by one. And though we don’t see its full form until the end, its presence haunts us throughout, infusing the story with dread.
Okay! So the Duffers originally set Stranger Things in a beach town, and the Demogorgon was inspired by the Jaws shark. Cool. What does this mean for us?
Everything.
Think about it. The Byers have moved to a new town. We aren’t sure where they went, but in S2 Bob suggested Maine. Maine is on the East Coast, not far from Long Island.
And as you can see, it has hundreds of miles of beaches.
If the Duffers have any sense, they wouldn’t drop the Byers in another town like Hawkins. That would be redundant and hella boring. Instead, they would seize the opportunity to explore a new setting with a different feel. Not an inland town surrounded by woods and farmland, but... oh, idk... a beach town.
On top of that, the Byers’ move gives the Duffers the perfect opportunity to return to the show’s roots. Finally, they can bring Montauk to life.
If that’s what they’ve done, and the Byers have moved to a beach town, we’re headed for prime Billy territory.
Billy OWNS the beach. In the context of the show, we get our first glimpse of a beach in his mind, for God’s sake. And he’s deeply connected to water as an element. He’s a surfer, lifeguard, swim instructor... need I say more?
He’s also likened to the Demogorgon - the monster inspired by the shark in Jaws.
I’ve already discussed the similarities between Billy and the Demogorgon. Those were fresh on my mind when I read Runaway Max for the first time. So, when I read this paragraph where Max describes the Camaro, I freaked out (I do that a lot):
Once, for two weeks back in April, I thought that Camaro was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. It had a long, hungry body like a shark, all sleek painted panels and sharp angles. It was the kind of car you could rob a bank in. (pp 12-13)
It’s a motherf***ing equation, y’all. Billy (by way of his Camaro) = the Demogorgon = the shark in Jaws.
And the Byers have just moved to a town where the local pizza place is called Surfer Boy Pizza.
A name like that doesn’t make sense unless they really are in a beach town.
Hence why I completely lost my shit when I read about Argyle. When you take all the evidence together, it looks like the Duffers have set up a situation where, figuratively, our heroes will think they see a shark in the water (aka the Demogorgon).
But they’ll find out it’s not a shark. It’s a surfer boy coming back to shore.
Hints and leaks have confirmed this idea so far. The Stranger Things social media accounts teased the following exchange last year:
“What if it’s the Demogorgon?” “It’s not the Demogorgon.”
Just a couple weeks ago, we got our first photo of the Surfer Boy Pizza delivery truck (credit: strangerinsidebr on IG). And the writing on the side is telling.
The writing in the center doesn’t say, “Surfer Boy Pizza delivered hot to your door.” It says, “Surfer Boy delivered hot to your door.” The ‘pizza’ is way off to the side.
They’re making a joke, guys. A fuckin joke.
“Surfer boy delivered HOT to your door ;)”
Jokes aside, the potential for Billy’s intro scene is so CLEAR and VIVID that I took a stab at sketching out how it could happen. Obviously I don’t think it has to happen this way; the writers have plenty of wiggle room. But it illustrates the kind of scene I have in mind:
Episode 3: “The Survivor”
All this time, hints have been building that Billy is still alive. Creepy things keep happening that remind us of Will trying to communicate from the Upside Down in S1 (flickering lights, people feeling "haunted" by his "ghost," etc). At the end of the episode, a thunderstorm rolls into the Byers' beach town. Will and El are together at home, probably alone. As it's raining and thundering, strange things begin to happen that frighten them. They get a creepy phone call; the power goes out, but only at their house; etc. Remembering that horrific night three years ago, Will races to the window to look out. El follows him. Through the rain, they see a form swaying toward the house. Terrified, Will wants to leave, but El stops him. "But El, what if it's the Demogorgon?" "It's not the Demogorgon." They back away from the door and wait. To their shock, the chain unlocks by itself. The door opens, and their visitor walks in, looking like a drowned cat with a nosebleed. Billy.
God, I’m freaking out again just writing all this out lololol. I need to go lie down.
BILLY’S COMING BACK, BITCHES.
Peace. ✌️
»»————- ✼ ————-««
The “Billy Is Alive” Meta Series (So Far)
Billy Is Not a ‘B’ Character In Stranger Things
The First Rule of Analyzing Stranger Things: The Upside Down Is Symbolized By Water
The Lifeguard And The Rip Current: Our First Big Hint That Billy Is Alive
Why Haven’t We Seen Dacre On Set?
The Demogorgon Is Billy’s Dark Reflection
Frequently Asked Questions
For updates, follow the hashtag #billy is alive meta
#billy hargrove#billy hargrove is alive#stranger things theory#stranger things 4#stranger things#stranger things meta#stranger things analysis#the demogorgon#billy is alive meta#joyce byers#jonathan byers#el hopper#eleven hopper#will byers#ohbillyboy#stranger things 2#stranger things 3#film analysis#the duffers be sneaky#surfer boy delivered HOT to your door#i have been in a constant state of freakout since April 2020#and it's a relief to finally share#excuse me while i go collapse
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Commentary ~ Little Red Little Green Episode 18, “Fruits & Found Family”
Link to original post in Chinese, posted 2021/05/23. Link to official English translation.
(Disclaimer / Notes + Commentary under the cut!) (TW: possible eating disorder)
Disclaimer / Notes:
While the posts by Little Red Little Green (LRLG) are among my most favourite candies, I’d like to remind everyone that they are fake rumours, and should be read and enjoyed as such. ie, all CPN below!
The English translation linked above is the only one authorised by the Fake Rumour House; therefore, please treat all content below as a very casual, very *unofficial* convo between fellow turtle friends! ❤️💛💚
With Chinese being a highly region-specific language, my reactions to it is necessarily filtered through my background, which is, admittedly, somewhat removed from Gg’s, Dd’s and LRLG’s. However, it is not uncommon for even c-turtles (and several times, LRLG themselves) to be lost with what they read / heard due to regional differences ~ which reflects the reality of communicating in the Sinosphere. In fact, the regionality of the dialects used by different “characters” in LRLG’s dialogues is among the most critical elements that make these posts so authentic-sounding, and so difficult to replicate. A fun activity of following LRLG is to watch c-turtles patch their regional knowledge together, from local slangs to food choices, to make sense of what’s going on.
Okay, with that all said *phew* ... onto the commentary! “p. X” refers to the panel number in the official English translation (there are 7 total in the Twitter post).
p1. “Fairy”
Likely referring to the similarity between Gg’s current role for 玉骨遥 (The Longest Promise) and LWJ. Dd was praising Gg for being “fairy-like”; Chinese “fairies” (仙) have a certain style especially in visual media, similar to ... LWJ’s ~ otherworldly, white robes that billow in the wind, peaceful to the point of distant, scholarly, delicate. In between the lines, Gg likely said he was simply playing LWJ (hence, the ”act another me” in the translation), which Dd protested... and said Gg was simply playing himself. Whether that means DD IS NOT LWJ!!!!! 😡😡😡 or something else, we’ll know what we get to watch the show!
p1-p2. “Heat”
Yes about the Chang’e 嫦娥 reference!! Despite Houyi 后羿 shooting down 9/10 suns and saving the day, his wife is, indeed, more famous (and therefore the star, the more powerful one), because she’s frequently featured in Mid-Autumn festival art, along with her pet rabbit 玉兔 (”Jade Rabbit”),:
(Chang’e with her bunny, traditional Chinese painting. Source.)
Below is Gg’s rendition of Chang’e / Jade Bunny pair ~ Chang’e being the superman in the drawing while Jade Bunny is crouching on the planet!!
Guess of the missing convo from Gg’s side: Gg had wanted to bring something to Hengdian (where the filming of The Longest Promise was taking place) to cool himself down, and Dd had said it wasn’t necessarily. Hence Dd’s “My bad my bad” and the promise to send that something to Gg.
The loveliest line in this segment for me—and for many c-turtles— is the one about white hair. Turning grey a common, but very old-fashioned way of expressing worry and poor Dd, who hasn’t even turned 24, is claiming he was turning white because he got so worried every time Gg complained about the heat (Aww).
Turning grey with worry isn’t limited to romantic situations — it may happen to doting parents with wayward children, for example, or to ancient patriots over their crumbling kingdom. However, it’s also one of the more (very!) dramatic ways to communicate tragic love in Chinese fiction before Western influence allows “love”, as a term / word / character, to be used explicitly in writing romance.
Here’s a little example, a little diversion that may be of interest. Those who are familiar with the Wuxia classic Return of the Condor Heroes 神雕俠侶 by Jin Yong 金庸, whether it’s the book or its numerous visual adaptations, may remember how the hero, Yang Guo 楊過, went white at his temples overnight after his Shifu and lover, Xiao Long Nv (小龍女), didn’t show up at the cliff at the end of his 16-year wait for her.
Set photo from a TV adaption of Return of the Condor Heroes, 1995. Turtles may find the actress playing the perenially white-wearing, calm-to-the point-of-aloof Xiao Long Nv, Carmen Li 李若彤, familiar ~ she also played Lan Yi in The Untamed.
The 16-year wait, the invitation to Carmen to play Lan Zhan’s ancestor (when the two shared similarities in aesthetics and personality), were two of the three references from Return of the Condor Heroes I picked up from The Untamed (the last one was more specific—WWX mentioned Yang Guo’s master 獨孤求敗). This tribute is unconfirmed, but MXTX did say before that Jin Yong’s works were her inspiration. I also read a (small) discussion on whether LWJ’s hair carried a few pieces of white in the final episode, or if the lighter strands in it were a trick of the sunlight. (Here’s a screenshot of the approximate place to look!!)
While I lean towards the latter (the sunlight), turning white with worry, with love, is a tradition in Chinese storytelling. Here’s a little something I’ve noticed too, on this note ~ both in the actual interviews and in these fake rumours, Dd’s word choices, the way he conveys emotions are sometimes surprisingly traditional. It can be because of his background (which would require a study of how Luo Yang people and Koreans talk); it can be because the traditional way of talking allows for fewer words to be said, fewer things to have to be explicitly explained (example: LWJ), but the effect is that Dd has supplied the most romantic lines in LRLG’s posts because of that ~ romantic because it harks back to the rhythm, the themes of old poetry, of ancient stories that, as were true everywhere in the world, were about love.
Okay, back to the rumour (and hoping Dd won’t look like Bad Wig Yang Guo in a few more summers!) ....
The line after the one about white hair ... the way I understand the original Chinese sentence is “Heat is The Reason”: ie, anything Dd wants Gg to do and Gg disagrees, Gg would use heat as The Reason (R) to not do it. This anything may be eating, for example, which also has a strong possibility as conventional Chinese wisdom says that heat causes people to lose appetite. Dd’s worry would therefore be: Gg refusing to eat because he claims it’s too hot to do so.
“Corny joke” ~ the Chinese for this is, literally, “cold 冷 joke 笑話”, which becomes a pun as the gzry (team members)’s joke was about the (cold) winter and black hair. So... Dd threw a corny joke to combat a corny joke :D .
p3. “Apple”
The first half I also had to rely on c-turtles to help me interpret what it meant! Regional dialects aside, LRLG has captured dls’s very quick wit, the way his ideas freely hop from one concept to the next and this hopping carries traditional + popular cultural references that I know only a fraction of, not being a local after all.
I’ve read an additional interpretation of this segment: “big fruit” 大果兒 (as in dls: “Those are all big fruits, all big fruits”) is a Northern Chinese, traditional slang for women—dls might have connected that with the previous line in the convo about being Guowang, as explained in the translation, and “big and juicy” + “touch to feel” being suggestive phrases. Then, given the rare usage of the big fruit = women slang, dls expressed surprise that Dd understood what he meant, went on to say he expected Gg to know it (implying Gg could’ve taught Dd the meaning) ...
Which led to the entertaining part of this segment. Dd was like “You guys (= Gg + dls) talked?” Dls appeared to have thought of the scenario customarily inviting this question (scenario: someone on the verge of catching their spouse cheating) and began playacting that scenario, started to stammer ... as if he had just been got caught trying to chat up someone’s spouse ~ ”I-I-I....how to say it ...”. Dd caught on dls’s playacting and went along, continued with the “accusation”: “You’re stammering”. Dls then noted that Dd’s accusation was scary and Dd smiled, ending the playact ~ so, ah, readers, never mess with Dd’s spouse!! Dd gets scary!!
(BTW: ”nijia na kouzi” 你家那口子 was explained in the translation for a reason ~ It’s a warm, friendly term for a dear friend’s spouse. 😊)
p4. Lychees
Lychees. Has everyone tried them? It’s important not to over-eat them though...
In which the “Feeding Gg” saga continues! This segment is one of those that are wonderful for fic writers who wish to capture Gg and Dd in words. Gg, like many brought up in traditional families, has trouble saying “no” outright, which is often considered rude. As such, he resorted to delay tactics, something he had also done with the fried noodles in The Makeup Room BTS.
In the BTS, his delay tactics had been to argue that Dd hadn’t eaten his box of noodles and therefore, he couldn’t start (~2:35 mark)—as proper manners indeed dictated. In this dialogue, his delay tactics was to say he’d eat the lychees later, that the lychees would make him too full for the proper meal (rice).
A cute thing about this convo is that rather than pouting and grumbling his only being LWJ’s replacement (as he had hilariously done in the BTS), Dd had, apparently over the last three years, become an expert on countering such delay tactics. He peeled the lychees, which not only removed a major obstacle for eating, but also set a timer as peeled lychees get dry quickly (and Gg, despite being a picky eater, didn’t seem to like to waste food). He said the fruit could make appetiser. He got the help of their team members, who assured Gg that two lychees would be all right.
Gg’s response to the assurance... takes a little time to explain.
The original Chinese line for “Great, great, you’re so awesome” was 絕了絕了你們絕了。 “絕了”, a popular phrase used by Chinese netizens, was repeated three times.
絕, literally, means the extreme, the absolute, the end. 絕了 means pretty much the same ~ a thing that is 絕了 is standing en pointe at the edge of the cliff that is The Absolute End of a spectrum. It is the Ultimate. It can't be surpassed. It’s unbeatable.
絕了 is usually used in a positive sense, as in the English translation, with the positive being implied. If I say the LWJ photo above is 絕了, for example, I don’t need to specify that the extreme in 絕 stands on the good end. It’s understood given the audience of this post are mostly turtles (HELLO *waves*). We’re all heart-eyes here. We agree, without saying, that this photo is The Top, The Pinnacle; it can’t be better. 絕了 is higher praise than Excellent; it’s so good that there are no adjectives for it. Its own presence defines How Good It Is.
But 絕了 doesn’t have to be positive. If my audience is Su She ... he’s likely to take the same “This LWJ photo is 絕了” to mean the Mariana Trench kind of Absolute—the bottom of the bottom, the Unbeatable, Adjective-Defying Worst.
絕了 allows for that understanding too.
In this scenario, I interpret Gg’s 絕了 as taking the meaning of both extremes (which make it a fantastic phrase choice!): that Gg thought Dd and the team members were being both the Absolute Best (for thinking of Gg, caring for him) AND the Absolute Worst (for going against his wish to not eat!) Gg’s 絕了 also signals defeat; if Dd and his team members were The Absolute ... Whatever, then poor Gg had no choice but to yield to their wishes. I can already imagine his “I can’t believe I lose this way” Look (see: every rock-paper-scissors he lost, which was ... pretty much all of them), mixed with, perhaps, a healthy amount of bunny tooth warning (how dare Dd et al banded up against him)...
Those bunny teeth had to be taken care of, right? And so Dd went on to say lychees being good omen that ensure things would go smoothly for the eater... targeting Gg’s being a, as c-turtles call it, 小迷信 (literally, “Little Superstitious”, a young + adorable + superstitious person). Dd said that to help Gg justify the choice to eat, to make Gg feel better about his defeat.
(Of note: I had actually never heard of lychees being associated with good luck before, and a quick search online also didn’t yield any result. This could be a relatively rare association Google failed to catch ... or something Dd made up on the fly to make Gg happy.)
(Lychees have, however, been associated with romance. If Emperor’s Smile 天子笑 was The Love Drink in The Untamed, then what is Concubine’s Smile 妃子笑? Answer: it’s the RL name of a type of lychees, lychees being the fruit very much adored by Yang Yuhuan 楊玉環, the consort of the Emperor Xuanzong (685-762 BCE) of the Tang Dynasty and one of the four most beautiful woman in Chinese history. Since lychees had only been grown in southern China, the emperor had had the fruit couriered, in express mode involving many horses, to the palace up north to please his favourite wife. Lychees had become a symbol of love from that historical tale.)
Did Gg get Dd’s message then, the love and care packaged in those peeled, sweet fruit awaiting his bite? Yes, but not without a little more fight! “Eat eat eat, (I’ll eat) until you go bankrupt” is a literal translation of his final line. Tonally, I can see the following as being an alternative translation:
“Fine fine fine. I’ll eat, it’s not like I can bankrupt you by eating anyway!”
If it sounded a little sulky, that’s because it did ... a little sulky AND fiery. As expected from our favourite Chongqing Big Pepper 😂😂😂 (Poor Gg).
Dd smiled at that, needless to say. He won!!! He got Gg to eat!! The world shall rejoice!!
p5. “Showtime”
There’s a show coming up for Dd (the YH concert maybe?), and Gg offered suggestions.
The sweet point of this segment is about half-way down the conversation, in the piece of paper 📄 Gg gave to Dd (after “This is for you.”). Dd took the paper, noted the many words on it, and started saying 我把我整個靈魂, translated as “I bring my entire soul”.
c-Turtles have, based on these words, hypothesised that Dd was about to read out a quote that Gg had written on the paper, with the list of items Gg thought Dd should take, before Gg stopped him with a call of his name (“WYB”). The quote was included on the translation (”I give you my entire soul...only, a little good, love you.”) I have also talked about the same quote, in more detail, here.
I’m equally stumped on the final line of this segment. (Sorry!!)
p6. “Found Family”
It’s a heartwarming segment. While LRLG had previously noted that the TTXS bros had communicated with Gg, this segment made clear that they care for him like they do for Dd ~ as family.
* dls mailed Gg a lot of fruit for sharing with the film crew. “Family member needs to be impressive” is a rough translation, but this line does defy simple translation because 排面 a highly cultural concept that has much to do with the equally complex, Chinese concept of face (which this article explains... somewhat adequately). The message to take home is that dls cared enough about Gg that he wanted to make sure Gg wouldn’t lose face in front of the film crew; that, by having enough gifts (fruits) for everyone, Gg wouldn’t be viewed as cheap or inadequate or stingy, or whatever adjective that wouldn’t befit his top idol status. Because dls saw Gg as a member of his family.
* The prescription from hg had been mentioned in a previous LRLG rumour. 方子 is a Chinese medicine prescription, which, unlike Western formulations, is individualised both to the discomfort / ailment and to the “body constitution” of the person who'll take it, the latter deciding the kind of ailments the person is susceptible to, and which ingredients are expected to be more effective. Chinese medicine also places a strong emphasises on long-term conditioning, whether it’s for recovery from a certain condition or for general good health. A good 方子 is therefore a far more complex and personal thing than, say, a scribble of “paracetamol” / “acetaminophen” on a piece of paper. :D
* fg’s gift for Gg (xx) is something for the waist. A brace support, maybe? For example?
My favourite line in this segment is when hg asked what will Gg and Dd do when they reach hg’s age. Given that the last two items (the prescription and xx) were health-related, I interpreted it as hg worrying about Gg and Dd’s health when they grow old... with all the health problems they already have. It’s the kind of thing a worried parent say to their children ~ my mom has said the same thing to me as well. 😢
p6. “The Cat Paw”
Not quite sure what’s happening here ... not sure what the cat paw is. (Sorry!!) But that é in the translation is Dd’s signature laugh (collection here), which is written as 鵝 (”Goose”) in Chinese 😂.
p7. “The Cat Toy”
Dd appeared to be shopping for a cat’s toy (something that can “hook the cat” in the translation, such that the cat can entertain itself and not rely on human companionship as much). Gg had already bought the toy though and sounded quite proud of it, told Dd to return the toy. The implied cat was, of course, Nut (堅果 Jianguo)... which had been repeatedly referred to in LRLG’s posts as Gg’s daughter.
p7. “Cool vs Cute”
Gg is often viewed as cute, and Dd as cool. Did Dd dislike Gg taking cute pictures for public consumption? Were they scheming an exchange of image? :D
And that’s it for this issue! Ooh, this took unexpectedly long ... I apologise for the ridiculous delay between the original post and this commentary!
(I wrote half of it, then RL struck and I forgot about it.) (I’m hopeless.) (I need a 方子 for poor memory!!)
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