#cubemagnet trying to write

[cubemagnet14]

In that moment, despite their differences and past experinces, she extended her hand towards her, waiting for her to take it. In spite of both of them looking at the other with disdain in their eyes, she took her hand and stood up from the ground. There's no point in saying Angelina saved Six, the evidence is already there. Angelina and Six. Their friendly rivalry will live on, but their relationship deffinetly changed in that very moment.

[cubemagnet14]

-So you want him to tear down your walls?

-It's the least he can do if he loves me.

-If YOU love him then YOU tear down your walls YOURSELF to let him in. It's not always about you, sometimes it's about him.

[cubemagnet14]

This is probably not a good idea, but here's my self-insert weird daydream fanfiction fantasy I wrote bc I need feedback

And he asked me.

"Do you want this? Do you enjoy this?"

I'm not happy about that. I enjoy him. He adores me, I adore him too. We revel in each other's presence. But it only lasts for a moment. And he suffers again.

I can't help him. Mainly because he does not require help. Never did, never will. He's so perfect. We are not a couple, I am not the other half. He is not half, he is whole. Always has been, and always will be. I love him and support him, but I'm not happy about this situation either. None of us are happy about it. None of us wanted it this way, but that's just how it turned out.

You have to work with what you have. Even if we suffer in the process. I have to support him as much as I can. That's all I can do for him. That's probably all for now. Mainly because he wouldn't let me help him more. That's enough for him. He never wanted more. I could give him so much more, but he wouldn't take it. Even the good things can cause harm to you after some extent, he always says.

He will never change. I don't even want him to change. Others would certainly play the savior, but I don't want to redeem him. I love him the way he is. I love him for who he is, not for who he could be. Because he couldn't be anyone else. He wouldn't change even if he was forced to. He wouldn't let himself get tortured. I wouldn't want him to let himself get tormented either. He needs understanding. No one ever understood him. He was different from the others. Very different. He went through too much that he shouldn't have. He was too young. Way too young. He should never have seen so much.

Ignorance is bliss, he always says. He's right. It would have been much better if he didn't see the things he did. We can't go back now. I can't do anything about it anymore. What's done is done. No matter how much I try to calm him down with kind words, the crying child will not stop crying in the depths of his soul. I alone am not enough for this. Certainly not enough.

He always says that I'm doing everything I can, but I still feel helpless. So powerless. So weak. I want to do more for him. However, I can't give him what he needs most. I can't give him back his childhood because I didn't take it away. I can't get it back either. I can't pretend I can. I don't want to lie to him. He wouldn't lie to me either. He has never lied to me and never will. I know he wouldn't. I trust him.

Our relationship is built on trust. There has never been a time when, when I reached into his pocket, I should have been afraid of finding something there that I should not have seen. But he doesn't share everything with me. If I ask something that he can't tell me, he just listens, quietly, but never lies. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't want me to do that to him either. He doesn't expect anything from me that he wouldn't do. The reverse is also true. Mainly because we don't want to put the other person in an uncomfortable situation.

My brother asked me the question. I visited home. I visited home for the first time after three years. A lot has changed. But my brother didn't. He remained the same. He's just as hesitant. He can't sit still. He found out about my secret relationship, which I didn't tell anyone about. There are no secrets before him, he will find out anything.

He asked me again.

"Apollinariya answer me! Do you really want this?"

I won't answer. I don't know what to say to him. If I speak now, I'll only make things worse.

He yelled at me.

"Say no! Say that you don't want this!"

Then his voice slowly faded away.

"Please say no. Say that he's just forcing you!"

He started crying. The family house was quiet. It's too quiet. You could only hear two things: my brother crying and the ticking of the clock on the wall. Emptiness. It's like we weren't even at home. This place is completely foreign now.

Our mother was in another room. She was looking for something for us. She said it was a surprise. She said we would be happy if we found out what it was. I wasn't so sure about it at that point. My brother thought that as long as our mother was not here, he would be confronting me. But of course, I know him. I knew from the very beginning that he would burst into tears. I knew he would be sensitive. It's always been like that. Especially when it was about me. We were inseparable as children. Now we can live without each other, but the love we felt for one another remains. This outburst on my brother's part was proof enough. He's still interested in how I am and what I'm doing. That's why he was investigating me. It was successful. I wish it wasn't.

Ignorance is bliss, he always says. He's right. He is always right. Now also on the example of my dear brother. If only he didn't know the truth.

I held him close and hugged him.

"It's okay Dmitriy, it's okay."

He just cried and cried and cried. Like he never wanted to stop. I didn't even have to answer the question. He figured it out on his own. I didn't want that to happen either. However, I had no other choice. He didn't either. Dimitri had it. He didn't live with it.

"At least stop while Mom shows the surprise she planned!"

He sniffed, and then the tears stopped. He finally calmed down. At that moment, our mother entered the room with a thick, huge book in her hand.

"What happened my sweet little angel?"

Our mother always spoke to Dimitri in such a sweet manner. It's just a habit now.

"Nothing, I'm just so happy that we can be here again after all these years."

He has never lied to our mother before.

[cubemagnet14]

You got most of it figured out already, so my letter wont be long. You already give excellent advice, you might as well just write these letters instead of me. But you need comfort too, you need to be taken care of too. Let yourself be appreciated and carried away in the moment. Adventure awaits, you cant be shackled by the past forever. The past is history, the future is just an idea, but today is a gift, thats why its called the present.

Charlotte's letters: Letter to BB

[cubemagnet14]

Before I say anything, let me ask you: why do you travel? When did you decided to see the world? What is the purpose of all this? Maybe youre searching for the rest of you in this wide galaxy, but will you ever find it? Maybe the place where you need to search for yourself is the present moment. Maybe youre not paying enough attention to whats actually surrounding you. Are you afraid to make connections? The reason im asking these questions is because I know you already have the answers, you just dont wanna think about it. You want to be blinded by lies, even though you know the truth would liberate you from you suffering. Make friends, eat good food, get good sleep, be present. Savour the moment, dont be afraid to feel deeply, this is my final message.

- Charlotte's letters: A letter to 6

[cubemagnet14]

Im so sorry Angelina but I cant fix you. You have to go on this journey alone. You have to discover your purpose in life, or maybe make your own. The choice is yours. You have to realise you have worth on your own, you dont have to seek validation from others. Its gonna be hard but its gonna be worth it. You have friends who will guide you to the right path, so later you can guide others too. You dont need a romantic relationship to fill the hole inside of you, its only going to make you feel emptier. You need to get better first, then look for a partner. You have to be happy in your own skin for people to like you, this is my final message.

- Charlotte's letters: A letter to Angelina

[cubemagnet14]

The best way I could describe her in one word would be vengeful. Thats what she was. She wanted to take revenge on everyone who wronged her. But what about the people who didn't want to hurt her but indirectly still did? What about her mother who wanted to bring her up like a good parent should, but she wasnt able to? What about her friends who were blinded by their unreachable goals and left her behind in the process? What about her ex boyfriend who broke up with her because he realised he wasnt attracted to women? Should she take revenge on them too? Would that be fair? Would it bring her peace and satisfaction? When is it her turn to be happy and loved? Is she so repulsive that she will never be able to have human connections? Will she ever find someone who will love her no matter what? Is she inherently flawed? Im so sorry Angelina but I cant fix you.

[cubemagnet14]

I have travelled to countless galaxies, I have visited countless worlds, I have met countless people... But then tell me, why do I still feel so lonely? I have talked to countless fellows but I never got to know any of them on a deeper level. I have heard countless names and memorised countless faces yet I havent seen any of them ever again. Is it my own fault? Is forming relationships impossible for me? Can I never form meaningful bonds with people because I always travel? But I cant help it, traveling is my passion. Im always on the run. It's not a hobbie, it's a lifestyle. I must see countless worlds and I must travel to countless galaxies. I must meet countless people. I cannot stay in one place, the universe is waiting for me to adventure all around it, to map out every spot. Maybe it is my own fault. Maybe i'm faithed to cross the stars alone.

I just wanna be complete.

I just wanna be complete.

I just wanna be complete...

[cubemagnet14]

WEIRD FANTASY DAYDREAM PART 3 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I woke up in the morning because I had forgotten to close the blinds in the evening and the Sun's rays came in through the window uninvited. I wouldn't admit it, but I actually enjoyed how the sunshine caressed me softly.

I have always loved the morning hours. A new day, a new beginning. People always think of the rush when you mention mornings, they don't have time to appreciate the beauty of the rising sun, chirping birds and the gentle wind.

I have always made time for rest. Even when I was a small child, I looked out the window every morning with hot cocoa in my hand and wondered why other people don't like mornings? I had to realize that most people started their day at six in the morning, when I was still asleep. I was never in a hurry, I had time to notice the small beauties of life. I didn't know how lucky I was then.

He also shares my sentiment, that the morning hours should be appreciated. You have to enjoy and watch its every move. However, unlike me, he never had time to watch the birds from the window.

The base is underground, so we wouldn't be able to watch the birds in the morning even if we wanted to. We had to hide from the world. We had to hide under the ground. That's exactly why no one knew about our relationship, because we didn't go out in front of other people. Of course, my brother Dmitriy has no secrets, he was even able to find me where the Sun doesnt shine.

Dmitriy is a detective, he works for the police. He also has a badge, which he bragged about when he received it. He knows what he's doing. That's how he found me underground so easily. When he figured out my location, he sent me a handwritten letter. Our staff almost threw it away because I told them I don't accept any mail from anyone. But when I found out that Dmitriy had sent the letter, I had to read it immediately. Turns out it was an invitation. Invitation to go back home. Finally home after three years. I had to accept it, it would have been suspicious if I didn't. I had to go back.

He told me to keep quiet, just so I wouldn't accidentally talk about our plan. I assured him that it wouldn't happen. He trusts me. We trust each other. He said that he also had to leave for a while. I won't see him for a whole month. I thought I wouldn't last that long without him.

I finally visited Saint Petersburg. He traveled to the other side of the country, to the vicinity of Khabarovsk.

A whole month without each other, at the opposite ends of the country.

I thought I was going to die.

[cubemagnet14]

Part two of the weird self insert fantasy fanfiction daydream (I still havent given it a title) might as well post it if I already translated it

He has never lied to our mother so clearly. However, it worked because our mother did not ask any more questions. She was moved for a moment, then showed us the surprise she had planned.

She flipped to the front of the big, thick book and pointed to the very first picture on the page.

"Look! I've gathered all your memories captured in photos, so now everything is together. It's from when you were very young kids."

"You probably don't remember this anymore, but for me, it's a memory as if it happened yesterday. This day was special for all of us."

Unfortunately, Dmitriy and I couldn't pay attention to any of this. His mind was completly elsewhere. He tried to comprehend what he had just realized. I was afraid that our mother would get suspicious and I would have to tell her everything. I didn't want to upset her with everything that happened to me. It's not his fault and it's not mine. It's nobody's fault. Not even his. He didn't want it that way either, but it won't work out any other way. He said that he can go through any road just to reach his goal. Even if that path is lined with knives and swords and their edges cut into his soles with each step. Even if by the end there is nothing left of his leg. He would sacrifice anything for this cause. But not me. He would never do that.

In the evening we slept at my mother's house. After three years, I could finally sleep in my own room. After three years, I was finally where I am the happiest. Even if I wasn't the happiest at the time. Even if I can't show him this place. Even if I can never bring him here.

After our mother showed us the photo album, we had lunch. We had lunch together. After all this time, finally together. After three years, finally in eachother's company again. I wouldn't admit it, but I missed them both. Even if our mother is a bit overzealous sometimes, even if Dmitriy pokes his nose into everything. Even if our father can no longer be with us.

Even if he's on the other side of the country right now. We will meet again in a month and then I can see him again. I can wrap my arms around his neck, I can love him without anyone else watching. Then he will only be mine.

We'll have to hide forever, but I don't mind. I will stay by his side even if in return I can never see my family again.

I will love him forever.

[cubemagnet14]

Me with my weird self insert fanfiction fantasy