#cs humor

[itseasyactually]

Console.WriteLine("Hello Hellsite");

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

Two British Fantasy Authors, a play in one act.

JRR Tolkien: So my epic fantasy has elves and dwarves and gods and demons and vampires and werewolves.

CS Lewis: Cool cool cool.

JRR Tolkien: What about yours?

CS Lewis: Mine? It's got fauns and a witch and a talking lion and precocious children—

JRR Tolkien: I like the talking lion.

CS Lewis: —and Santa Claus.

JRR Tolkien: ...

JRR Tolkien: ...

JRR Tolkien: What?

CS Lewis: Santa Claus. You know, "ho ho ho."

JRR Tolkien: I know Santa Claus! I wrote the book on Santa Claus! But you can't have Santa Claus in your High Fantasy!"

CS Lewis: Why not? You have Tom Bombadil!

JRR Tolkien: HOW DARE YOU

[computer-nerd-girl]

[capitalism-and-analytics]

[stubblesandwich]

This is how it happened, right? That's how I remember it... 🤔

[pov-amna]

When you find out that your 'original' code is just a copy of a copy of a copy...

[kazoosandfannypacks]

David, pointing at Killian and Emma: They're holding hands!

Mary Margaret: Sometimes married people do that, or so I've been told.

[ignorethisatyourperil]

[cosette141]

Operation: Poptarts | OUAT fanfic

Fandom: Once Upon A Time Author: cosette141 Words: 1k Summary: Henry was mostly happy that Killian had moved in with him and Emma. His only reservation was that Killian won't stop throwing out his poptarts. S6 Captain Cobra

AO3

(under the cut!)

a/n: slight tag to "Dark Waters"/S6, when Killian threw out Henry's poptarts.

Henry was mostly happy that Killian had moved in with him and Emma.

It was nice most of the time, having Killian around. For one, Killian was a surprisingly good cook, and surprisingly organized, whereas even Henry was more organized than Emma. The house had never been cleaner since Killian had joined them.

The three of them had dinner together every time Henry wasn't with Regina, and they also had weekend movie nights per Henry's request, since Killian had much to catch up on in that regard. Killian's commentary over the movies and TV shows was usually more amusing than the actual films.

Not to mention the fact that having Killian around had also started to feel less like having his mother's boyfriend living with them, and more like a… father figure. No one would replace Henry's true father, but if anyone could, Henry could easily say that Killian was it.

Not that he was ready to admit that to the pirate just yet, but it was true all the same.

So, all in all, Henry was mostly happy that Killian had moved in with them.

There was, however, one thing that always put that mostly before happy.

And that had to do with his poptarts.

Or, more specifically, his lack of poptarts.

It all started the day that Killian had watched him during the time the Evil Queen was wreaking havoc over the town, and Killian had thrown out two perfectly good poptarts of Henry's.

If that was the only instance of this particular issue, Henry would have been fine with it.

Except, it wasn't.

The next morning, Henry had gone looking for the box of poptarts in the cupboard, knowing he'd had two packs left in it, but the whole box was gone.

When Henry inquired about it, Killian had informed him that the rubbish was gone, that it wasn't 'real food' and he couldn't knowingly let Henry go around eating it, and he'd made the three of them a fish breakfast.

Emma had given Henry an apologetic smile that she'd smoothly shifted to a fake-happy one to Killian when he'd looked in her direction, and Henry had swallowed his disappointment and eaten with them.

Instead of trying again, Henry decided to get a new box of poptarts, and hide them.

Which worked, for all of one day.

Because the next day when he had gone to his hiding spot, under his bed, he instead found a note reading: Can't hide anything from a pirate, mate.

Henry, however, did try.

At first, Henry was more than irritated about it, but it quickly became a challenge to find a place to successfully hide the sugary snacks away from the pirate. But no matter where he hid them, he would encounter a note in the place of each one, some of them congratulating him on getting better at hiding things.

It had shifted from an annoyance to almost like a game between the two of them as the weeks went by, something they'd never voice aloud, and something Emma stayed completely out of, though Henry often saw her rolling her eyes at them.

However, after nearly two months of the back and forth, Henry had finally found a hiding place that Killian didn't; a barely-noticeable loose floorboard in the attic, under two heavy boxes and cloaked in shadows.

For three days, Henry was able to enjoy poptarts without them disappearing.

And as exciting as it should have been, it was now a disappointment not to find a note in their place.

Henry pulled the box out from the floorboard, and stared at it for a moment, rather than taking one out to eat. He suddenly considered hiding it somewhere else that Killian would find it.

"This was a good place, but I'll remind you that you can't hide anything from a pirate, mate."

Henry jumped a mile in his skin, jerking to his feet and spinning around, knocking one of the storage boxes to the ground.

Because Killian was leaning against the doorway, watching him with an amused grin.

"You knew?!" exclaimed Henry, still breathless, his heart beating fast from the startle.

"Aye," said Killian with a chuckle. "A good pirate finds treasure by knowing well the person who has hidden it. And you, my boy, I know quite well."

Something about how Killian said that reminded Henry of how he'd once felt when Neal called Henry his son, his boy. Hearing it from Killian made Henry smile.

Killian lifted himself from the wall, saying, "However, this one did take me the longest to find." He took a few steps toward Henry, raising a brow at the box of poptarts. "You really find these worthy of such effort?"

Henry rolled his eyes. "Have you ever even tried one?"

Killian's raised brow turned to Henry, and there in his eyes was the obvious answer that no, he has not.

With a grin of his own, Henry pulled out a pack, and opened it. He gave Killian one, and took a bite out of one for himself. "Try it," said Henry.

Killian stared at it like it was a deal from Mr. Gold, but when Henry prompted it again, Killian looked at him. But then, something relented in the older man's eyes, as if he was just doing it for Henry, and he took it. Tentatively and quite reluctantly, Henry watched Killian take a small bite.

Henry stared at him expectantly. "Well?"

-././.

The next day, Henry looked up from where he was at the kitchen table, doing his homework, when Emma called his name. She was standing in front of the open cupboard, brows raised high.

"Yeah, Mom?" asked Henry distractedly.

Emma pulled out a box of poptarts. "Um," said Emma, brows still raised. "Really, kid? I don't think hiding it in plain sight will work." She gestured it to him like they were contraband. "Here, hide your poptarts somewhere better."

Henry looked up again, rolling his eyes. "Those aren't mine."

Emma's brows raised again, this time in puzzlement. "What?"

"They're Killian's," said Henry, amusement at his lips. At Emma's shock, he said, "I made him try one. Joke's on me, though, cause then he took the box from me and told me to 'stay the bloody hell away from them cause they're his now'."

Through her shock, Emma laughed. "You're kidding."

"I wish I was." said Henry through his grin.

Emma shook her head to herself, as if she knew she was surrounded by two idiots, and she moved to put them back in the cupboard.

But Henry suddenly had an idea.

"Wait," said Henry, getting up. Emma paused, and Henry held his hand out for the poptarts with a grin that he must have picked up from Killian. Emma seemed to notice the mischief in that look, and she smiled too, handing him the box.

It was time to get a little payback.

Still smiling, Henry ran off to find a hiding place that was even better than the attic before Killian came home.

-.-././.

Emma was in the kitchen when Killian came home that night, after he'd been out with Smee and a few of his crew for the day.

She and Killian greeted each other with a kiss and a brief chat about their days. But afterward, Emma saw Killian go to the cupboard where she'd found the box of poptarts. He opened it, about to reach inside when he paused, realizing it was gone.

He hesitated in confusion for a moment.

But then, a knowing look crossed his face.

And she watched him smile.

tag list: @kmomof4 @justanother-unluckysoul @klynn-stormz @stahlop @ilovemesomekillianjones @hookmecaptain @tiganasummertree @jadehowlettthewolf @jonesfandomfanatic @anmylica @pirateprincessofpizza @stahlop @snowbellewells @eddisfargo @motherkatereloyshipper 

[youraveragecatastrophe]

Imagine: after meeting Zack, Ivy and Player and joining Team Red, Shadowsan is eager to work with another actual adult. He can't wait to meet Chase Devineaux again, make a better impression than in Poitiers, and have someone with whom to share the burden of working with a bunch of children.

Then, after some time without hearing from him, he finally brings him up to Carmen. Who promptly dies of laughter at the idea even Shadowsan thought she was working with Devineaux.

Carmen is actually crying laughing while Shadowsan sits there like : 😑 i suppose it is only children then...

[book-quotes-i-found]

The golden prince was at his best when viewed from sixty paces, out of spitting range of his nature.

Page 174

Prince’s Gambit by C.S. Pacat

[bogprophet]

"the code documents itself" what if i grind your skull on the pavement huh what then

[computer-nerd-girl]

[capitalism-and-analytics]

[dbphantom]

I am so fucking glad this actually returned what I was trying to say while writing tags about Law's kickass outfits because the unhelpful instamash mix I disrespectfully call a brain was supplementing all the wrong words and I didn't feel like finding that one writing thesaurus site on mobile

[madamescarlette]

Your sense of belief! In the good! in the world! You once believed in ME