#crying forever at lost potential

[bbqhooligan]

TWO very important threads were abandoned that ill never move on from which were 1-Five chose his name, effectively refusing Reginalds favoritism game and sibling rivalry, and rose above it (in his head) and 2-Five got close to Vanya specifically because she was Outside of the ranking game and was unable to either be competition to him or a threat. theyre both so RICH with potential because 1 can be framed in any emotion it can be as victorious or as bitter as you want it to be and 2 sets grounds for THE most interesting relationship dynamic within the siblings because Allison-Luther is winners coalition and Klaus-Ben is losers comradery. but look where we are now. Five's character is still just a cog in the machine. Viktor and Five existing in the same frame is a rare miracle.

[steveyockey]

To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.

This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.

Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).

And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.

See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.

In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.

Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.

Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.

[simplyalicee]

˚₊‧꒰ა bittersweet ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Sebastian x GN!reader, angst(?) and fluff

TW: none

You were tired. Oh, so tired.

Your fraile figure trembled from the unbearable freezing temperature. Your body ached with exhaustion and hunger. When was the last time you had a proper meal? Hours felt like days. You were numb. So much pain, yet you stood. How could you possibly continue with your state? You felt as if you were about to collapse from the pressure.

You wanted to go back. Stop your mission and head back to the surface. But could you risk that potential for freedom? To go back empty-handed and be tossed back in your cell? To risk more years of being falsely incarcerated? No, no you could not. You hadn't seen the light of day for years. It felt like forever since you've last saw your loved ones. You craved their affection, their gentle touch, their words sweet like honey. You missed them so terribly.

Going back was not an option.

Urbanshade made the objective very clear; retrieve the crystal. You weren't disclosed of any other information. You were going into this deadly mission practically blind. You were left to navigate through the destroyed labs and risk your life with dangerous creatures with the thirst of blood and malice. It always amazed yet terrified you of how capable every entity was.

Speaking of... what was that sound?

You heard the faint sounds of something— screaming? No, it didn't sound like screaming. But whatever it was, time ran shorter as the room shook, knocking drawers and other objects down to the ground. Glass shattered on the ground. You grew frantic of this new presence and rushed to the nearest locker. You crammed yourself inside and closed your eyes tightly, bracing yourself for an angler fish to swoop by.

But it wasn't an angler fish.

Instead, you were met with pounding against the locker doors. You shook with the locker and, fortunately, instinctively dug your bruised fingers into the opening slits of the locker. You opened your eyes to see an entirely new entity— all you could see were the many eyes that burned through your soul. You could feel your heart race as this new creature kept pounding on the locker, aching to reach you. Tears streamed down your face. Your grip loosened. You fought to keep up and keep the doors closed, but your exhaustion was catching up quicker.

As the doors were slammed against one final time, your fingers gave up and ceased proper functioning. You lost your grip. The locker shook once more and you closed your eyes. You prepared yourself to be met with nothing but cold, stinging death. You took what you thought was your last breath and murmured a goodbye.

But nothing happened.

Intrigued, you open your eyes and saw nothing. Was it already gone? You couldn't tell, but your heart pounded the longer you stayed inside. You quickly hopped out and took deep breaths to calm yourself. What was that thing? What did it want? Dumb question, it wanted you dead. Everything down here wanted you dead. But you tried not to think about that too much.

Once calmed down, you looked around your surroundings, noting the new hazards laid before you. You were so tired. You wanted to rest so badly. But rest was not an option here. You had researchers that needed your help, unfortunately. With a sigh, you forced your aching body through the doors and continued your path.

Foot after foot, breath after breath, you really were unsure if you'd make it out alive. You were deprived of food, sleep, and warmth. Not to mention that there were more ponds of water to swim through than anticipated. You were soaked. And, with the harsh coldness burning your exposed skin, you were left numb and pained. The urge to cry became strong but you were simply too weak to cry.

Come door 50, you were met with another dark room. Wonderful. Your flashlight was nearly out of juice and other light sources you had on you were dead. So much for savoring light. You decided to try to save the remaining battery power and venture through the darkness. Each footstep inside made you more paranoid of those squiddles. Those horrific faces that would burn into you if you dared to flash your light or come close.

Alas, as your paranoia was at an all-time high, you heard a voice call out to you.

"Hey friend, over here."

You shrieked and jumped from the sudden break of silence. Oh no, was tnis your demise? You couldn't tell anymore. But judging from whoever just spoke to you actually communicated with you through language instead of aggression, you were quick to get moving to find the source. Now was the good time to use the flashlight. You turned the light on and cautiously waved the light around. You found more desks, the usual. But a vent caught your eye. Maybe it came from there? You were uncertain, but it was better than being out here. With a mumble, you got down to your knees and crawled through the tight space.

The path wasn't long, and thank heavens that there was some decent lighting up ahead. You crawled and made your way into a decently big room. But that's not what caught your eye, obviously. As you stood up and began dusting yourself, your eyes met some... thing? Unimaginable. Your jaw dropped. This creature was huge, possibly 20 to 30 times bigger than you. You couldn't help but stare at his features; pale blue skin, his eyes glowing a soft cyan, his black hair that looked soft to the touch, his attire covering his upper body; you couldn't help but be both amazed and petrified.

"Welcome, new friend! Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Sebastian, your only friend." His voice was oddly warm and welcoming, but you knew to not underestimate him over some hospitality. You were very small compared to him.

Sebastian opened his mouth to continue but stopped himself almost immediately. You were confused for a moment, not aware that you were slowly slumping to the ground. You were trying to pay attention and had not realized your own body was giving up on you. And Sebastian was no idiot. He could easily tell you weren't well. And before you knew it, your knees buckled below you, causing you to slip and crash down on the floor. Consciousness slipped mere seconds after.

Sebastian stared down at you for a short moment. He was clearly dumbfounded, had he not expected this outcome. He could just leave you be on the cold surface. But instead, he slowly reached his hands out and carefully picked you up. You were so small, so fragile. So tired and numb. Sebastian frowned, knowing there wasn't much he could do. He felt your cold state and shivered.

"You're colder than ice," he murmured under his breath. In a way, he kind of felt bad. There were no blankets around, so Sebastian resorted to carefully holding you in his arms to keep you warm. He kept you close to him as his eyes examined your state. He simply sighed and shook his head. Why go this far for you? You might as well be someone ungrateful, right? His thoughts rushed through his head but yet kept you in his arms regardless. Eventually, he gave up and sighed.

"You owe me," he mumbled under his breath and covered you with his jacket before leaning himself against the wall. He couldn't believe he was doing this for you. So ungrateful.

Although, he hadn't had something to hold in a little while. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

Written closely to lore, writer is tired.

[themultifanshipper]

Monaco. A truly magical place where anything can happen. Including potentially ruining your friendship with Max. With a plot twist.

Or, part 2 of this fic.

Warnings: exhibitionism(technically), smut, choking, PinV sex, drugs and alcohol

"Max Verstappen wins the 2021 Monaco Grand Prix!"

You were pretty sure you were crying. Your best friend Max had just won the Monaco grand prix for the first time. A huge achievement in the world of F1. He lifted the trophy high above his head as you cheered from below. The whole Redbull garage was in chaos, everyone singing and cheering for Max. He winked at you before spraying champagne all over the podium, crowd, Lando and Carlos, all laughing and cheering at each other.

You couldn't help but feel sorry for Charles though, a DNF at your home race is always a hard pill to swallow. Hopefully he wasn't so bummed out that he wouldn't come out and party with you and Max, after all they had patched up their relationship since 2019 and he should be happy for his friend's win.

You, Charles and Max were close, often hanging out whenever you were staying with Max in Monaco. Usually ending up at parties until ungodly hours, you all finding company and going your seperate ways for the night, then meeting up the next day at a café, hungover and full of juicy gossip.

However this particular party felt a bit off for some reason. You'd managed to convince Charles to go out to a club instead of moping alone in his apartment. But there was a vibe. You weren't sure quite what the vibe was yet, but it was definitely there.

He was having more shots than usual, even after bad races. He was also hanging more around you instead of going to find girls to grind on and take back to his ridiculously giant bed. Not that you were complaining about it, you always welcomed Charles' company. But his arm found itself around you a little bit more often than usual. And you swore you saw him staring at your lips a bit too much for a public setting.

At one point Max found you and informed you he'd recieved a text from George, inviting you all to join him and a few other drivers at a yacht party. So you, Charles and Max went stumbling around the harbour trying to find this party.

Well, it wasn't exaclty hard.

It was the biggest yacht you'd ever seen, and in Monaco that was quite an achievement. It was more like a small cruise liner with so many people on it you were almost wondering if yachts could have a weight limit. It must have been some mega rich guy here just for the grand prix or something.

Before you could dwell on it too much however you heard a screech from above you up on the second deck.

"AYOOOO MAX! UP HERE MAN! AND YOU BROUGHT CHARLES WOOOOO! "

The three of you stared at Lando where he was hanging halfway over the railing, shirt way too open for decency, sunglasses almost slipping off his nose, and waving his glass around, getting himself quite wet. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Once you got onto the boat it was surprisingly easy to find the small group of drivers consisting of George, Alex, Lando, his friend Max, Lance, who was obviously selling something around the place, Carlos, who had obviously taken whatever Lance was selling, and Checo in a corner feeling up a girl who was definitely not his wife.

Anyway, you quickly lost both Max and Charles as you all mingled around and made acquaintances. But after a a few hours, a few drinks, and a few of whatever the fuck Lance had sold to seemingly half the boat, you got a bit lonely and set off to find people you knew.

The first person you came across was Lando, who had also taken something if the way he was incapable of focusing on your eyes as you spoke to him was any indication. He informed you that Charles had been looking for you, before going to look for some peace and quiet in the upper decks,

You got him a glass of water as thanks before going off to find Charles. It took you fucking forever. The place was huge, and you even bumped into Fernando during your quest, who greeted you with a big sloppy kiss on the cheek before sauntering off. Wow.

You found Charles sitting in one of the many upstairs rooms that sort of overlooked the deck below, where most of the crowd was, visible through massive windows.

By the time you'd finished ogling the layout you looked at Charles and found he was already staring intently at you.

"I know that look, Charles" You scolded him.

"I know you do. That's why I'm doing it" He grinned.

"Are you really that bored?"

"It is not about being bored. I want you"

You rolled your eyes. He always knew how to pick his moments, and he knew you could never resist him.

"But also..." he continued slowly, grabbing your hips and pulling you towrds him; his face changing into something more vulnerable "I want to have something Max does not"

Oh . This was a new development. Charles was jealous??

For a while now you and Charles had been fooling around. Max knew about it of course, you weren't exactly discreet, and you'd stopped counting the amount of times Charles had mentionned it off-hand in front of him. It usually happened when neither of you could find someone to take home and needed some good sex. And by god the sex was good. But that's not the point. The point was that you didn't really want this to happen on a random yacht, where anyone could see you if they looked hard enough up at the windows.

Add to that the fact you were pretty off your faces, and were possibly abandoning Max at this giant party, and it was shaping up to be the worst idea you'd ever heard.

"Because I thought this would finally be the year I would win at my home race."

"So I'm a replacement trophy?" You teased.

"Of course not" He grinned up at you "I want to give you all the pleasure that Max took away from me..."

So, you ended up on top of Charles on the bed, facing the door, riding him like your life depended on it. At some point, his hand had made it's way around your throat and was squeezing as your eyes rolled back and your rhythm faltered and your legs began to shake. He took it upon himself to grab your hip with his other hand and start slamming into you from below. You moaned loudly, not caring about all the noise you were both making as the music downstairs pounded through the walls. After all the times the two of you had done this, he knew your body like the back of his hand, expertly fucking you speechless with minimal effort.

Then, you realised with a start you hadn't locked the door when a shadow appeared under the crack and the handle turned, door swinging open.

Of course it had to be Max. Life would be two easy otherwise.

As your eyes met, his widened and you gasped, pussy tightening briefly around Charles, who took it as a sign of you being close. Embarrasingly, the idea of Max seeing you like this turned you on so much you almost came on the spot. His eyes staring you up and down, at the way your tits bounced as Charles rammed into you, at the way Charles's cock was splitting you open, and at the way you were drooling all over yourself and down Charles' wrist, your own eyes fixated on Max's.

He looked more turned on than anyone you'd ever seen. You were probably quite the sight, being dragged up and down Charles' cock like ragdoll. The thought made you clench again, so Charles groaned and tightened his hold on your throat, hips never faltering.

"Fuck- so tight. My god- rub your pretty little cunt for me and come on my cock, baby"

Max's jaw dropped as you did what you were told and started circling your clit fast and hard. He'd never seen you take orders from anyone, much less Charles. And he'd never expected Charles to talk like that, especially to you.

"Good Girl, fuck! Come on my cock." He slammed into you a few more times "That's my good girl..."

You moaned loud and you came hard around Charles, not able to keep your eyes open any longer as you rode out the waves of pleasure as he spilled deep inside you.

When your vision returned, Max was long gone, and Charles looked pretty blissed out, not realising what had just happened.

Tomorrow's debrief over coffee was going to be awkward...

[bg3galore]

Sleeping headcanons

Wyll

-Will hum you a soft tune and rub shapes into your back, while you're settling down for the night.

-Would definitely tell you stories of his life growing up and about his dreams for the future, while you listen closely to his breathing; until you fall asleep.

-Always kisses your forehead before falling asleep.

-Chuckles softly to himself every time you fall asleep before him and will take it as an opportunity to watch your sweet face sleeping; wondering if you're dreaming and what about.

Karlach

-Is a loud snorer and a very deep sleeper

-The perfect cuddler, especially for a harsh winter night; that infernal engine will actually be put to a good cause- comforting the two of you from the prickle of ice, snow and cold alike.

-During the summer, she tends to smother you a bit so you have to squirm your way out of her hold a few times if you're to get any rest at all

-Gets particularly soft and vulnerable when you tuck her hair behind her ears and tell her every little thing you love about her; it makes her feel like her engine is going to combust on site- but in the best way possible.

Shadowheart

-Plays with your hair and enjoys it when you do too

-She always prays right before and right after sleeping and always mentions you in her prayers; she wants you to be safe and healthy forever and always.

-On rare nights that she does have a nightmare (not doubt featuring wolves) she'll reluctantly wake you up and want you to spoon her and comfort her tenderly with words or reassurance; she knows it's silly that they are just wild dogs with no table manners but they terrify her to her core.

-She takes a couple of hours to fall asleep, so in the meantime she likes to read, meditate and admire every inch of you while you sleep or chill in your shared bedroll; it reminds her how lucky and blessed she is everyday.

Gale

-Snores mildly on nights his orb is particularly vexing but will still insist on you cuddling up together; he will apologise for all the trouble he knows he causes although he knows he can't control his situation or habits.

-You have a nightly ritual where you'll lay adjacent to each other and get lost in each others eyes, which tends to lead Gale to slowly getting flustered and eventually crumbling and being very keen for some sleep- he can't control his love or actions in relation to you very well so having you looking at him like that really switches something in him.

-If you ever have trouble falling or staying asleep he'll cast a sleep spell on you to make sure you will get your well deserved rest, and watch over you for a little while just in case something should happen or change.

-On nights where he struggles to sleep and you have long been taken ahold by sleep, he'll wonder off to a quiet place on the other side of camp and quietly play with his magic.

Lae'zel

-She's the type to kick and move around a lot in her sleep, maybe even growl- although she has no memory or idea about it; she would be too proud to admit it willingly anyways.

-Very light sleeper, from as early as she can remember she never wants to give any potential enemies the upper hand so she applies this too to her sleep- she will be the one with a blade to their throat.

-Initially she's not a huge fan of the cuddling idea but once you've been together for a while she starts warming up to the idea of it, and will try it once everyone is asleep; she's full of a soft joy and ever so slightly god forbid drops her guard.

-Falls asleep very easily despite her guard being up so much, she has a lot of pent up rage, anxiety and just general exhaustion so this wears a toll on her body taking her completely out before you even realize it.

Astarion

-Is prone to frequent nightmares/reliving his past with the Szarr household, which causes him to jolt awake and sometimes cry or scream.

-Otherwise he's a quiet sleeper and a wonderful cuddler, he always wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in.

-His favorite sleeping position is to have his head directly on your chest so he can listen to your heartbeat, he finds it incredibly comforting and reassures him that he's not alone and won't ever have to be again- not at night, not in the day and certainly not against his demons.

-Takes a minimum of 4 hours to fall asleep especially if he's left alone with his thoughts; they eat at him with anxiety and doubt- so he tends to get to bed much earlier than everyone else in camp.

Halsin

-Only tends to snore if he's been in wild shape for too long

-Wonderful big spoon, also loves to hold you against his chest while you lay by the camp fire and watch the stars and reminisce on stories long past.

-Like Astarion he relives/has nightmares about some of his traumatic experiences from his youth but he's much more discreet about it and will do his best not to wake you up; and instead will go for a brief walk to clear his head and take in the scent of nature and all its bounties.

-Adores it when you nuzzle your face into his neck and will absolutely make you lay completely all over him so he can be closer to you; unless it embarrasses you of course.

[lotus-n-l0ve]

SERENITY TO HIS HEART

— Mafia!Manjiro 'Mikey' Sano x Wife!Female Reader

You Will Forever Be My Always.

*⁠.✧ SYNOPSIS : The scarred past of Mikey haunts him even in his dreams, making him loose his mind. Though even through them you stay by his side. Bring him out of his misery.

*⁠.⁠✧ WARNINGS & TAGS : Mafia!mikey, wife!Reader, pregnant!reader, reader held at gun point, ptsd, mafia themes, angst, nightmare, 895 words.

*⁠.⁠✧ — NAVIGATION // TOKYO REVENGERS MASTERLIST

DON'T PRESS [KEEP READING] IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. MINORS DNI, IF YOU DO THEN IT'S YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY.

The cold touch of the muzzle of the gun on your forehead woke you up with a startle. Your eyes shot open, the view of the ceiling was hazy but as you focused your vision you saw the very familiar gun pressed on your forehead. A gun that belonged to your husband, Manjiro, the leader of Toman.

You followed the pale hand holding on to the metal grip of the gun, the pointer finger resting the trigger, ready to strike any second, your eyes met his dead obsidian ones, looking at you like an injured beast does to a potential threat. The only source of light being the lamp on the nightstand didn't help either.

There he is, your husband. Sitting on your stomach, his tights had you pinned on the fluffy bed. A whisper of his name left your lips but did nothing to him. Was it one of those episodes where his past haunts him down and torments him?

“They sent you unarmed?” His empty voice cut through the tension in the room. It was more of a statement than a question, “Have I lost my touch that they thought one unarmed woman is enough to end me.”

Manjiro dragged the muzzle down your nose and lips till he hovered it over your neck, “Who sent you? Hmm? Who's your boss?”

His voice was rather calm but you couldn't miss the threat lurking underneath it. It was the same he used against his enemies. Last warning before the sword strikes.

“Manjiro, it’s me, Y/N.” Your voice shook with the fear of the trigger being pressed anytime.

You saw a silver of recognition on his face but it was gone as soon as it appeared. Mikey said your name, trying to remember who it was. Rolling the name on his tongue. The name left a sweet taste in his mouth but the name did not ring any bell of familiarity.

“Y/N?” His eyebrows frowned in suspicion, “I don't know any Y/N. They sent you here to kill me, didn't they?”

You moved your head to deny but Mikey pressed the gun under your jaw, tilting your head back as a menacing grip appeared on his face, “Do they think I'm fucked in the head that I'll believe this dumb story? You think I'm delusional?”

Breath caught in your throat. Whenever Mikey was going through these episodes, you felt your heart in your throat, ready to jump out. They scared you to the core. But then you think of Mikey, your Manjiro, your husband who loves you more than life. He would rather burn the world down than see tears in your eyes. You loving husband who stood by your side in your most difficult time. All the fear in your heart evaporates.

“I'm your wife, Manjiro. Try to remember.” Even after trying to not cry, a sob left your lips, “Try to remember. I love you so much.”

“No, you don't.” The quick words sting right at your heart, “No one loves me. No one can love me. Who are you?”

Your lips trembled as you thought about the last thing to bring Mikey back to you. You lift your shaky hand and hold his left hand that was resting on the bed by your side. His grip on the gun tightened, ready to shoot and end all this hassle. But something held him back. He could not bring himself to pull the trigger.

The image of this stranger lying on his bed with a bullet pierced through her skull, eye lifeless and a stilled heart, made his heart nervous. He didn't like that. He didn't want that. Mikey let you move his hand and settle it on your tummy.

“I love you and the soul growing in me is the proof of our love Manjio. Snap out Manjiro. For me, for our baby, please.”

Mikey stayed motionless. His eyes staring down at your stomach. Unconscious Mikey spread his finger, feeling up the skin hidden underneath the white nightwear. Then it did. Something struck in his heart.

Y/N. Y/N. His lovely Y/N. The silver speck of light in his ravaged life. How could he forget you? His love, his life, his reason to live. And the innocent soul growing in your belly, was a miracle in his life.

Mikey felt tears pricking his eyes and nose burning. Wails of pain erupted from his chest as if letting all the weight off of his chest. Tears stream down Mikey’s flushed cheeks, in shame, fear and guilt but also from the sense of comfort of your presence.

You spread your arms to the side and said with your ever so gentle voice, “Come here.”

And then the dam broke. Mikey flushed himself into your arms, burying his face into your chest, the gun fell on the floor with a clunk. His whole body shook because of the crying.

You run your hand on his back with comforting strocks, “I'm not going anywhere. I love you Manjiro. I'll be right here, by your side, whenever you need me. I'm sure our little one loves their daddy too.”

Your whispers of solace soothed his wrecked heart. Mikey weeped in your protective arms, letting himself be so vulnerable the world will never see. He let your tranquil embrace bring serenity to his heart.

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© 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒-𝐍-𝐋𝟎𝐕𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 — all content rights belongs to LOTUS-N-L0VE. do not plagiarise any works and do not repost or translate onto any other sites.

[dark-kind-of-mystique]

𝑶𝒃𝒆𝒚 𝒎𝒆 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏 22 𝑺𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒔

Okay, so MC lost their magic. Does that mean that the connection of their pacts with the present brothers is gone too? If so, imagine the angst potential

𝑳𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓, who has been desperately striving to keep his cool for the sake of his brothers, felt his blood run cold and his breath hitch when he couldn't feel your connection anymore. His paperwork stained from spilled ink and tears he didn't even realize had fallen from his eyes.

For the first time since you disappeared, he felt paralyzed by his own fear as he could feel himself succumb to despair.

𝑴𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏, who refused to even acknowledge the possibility of you not coming back, wailed in pain when he felt your bond fade away from existence. He was forced to face the fact that you may actually never come back.

He felt as though someone had ripped out a part of him, leaving him forever looking for the missing piece.

𝑳𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏, who had submerged even deeper into his games and fantasy worlds to escape the emptiness of your absence, felt like the air was sucked out of the room. His game controller fell forgotten as GAME OVER appeared over his screen.

No amount of escapism will ever be enough to make him forget he's missing his player 2.

𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒂𝒏, who could feel his wrath slowly growing more uncontrollable, reached his burning point when he couldn't feel you anymore. Angry with the universe from taking you away from him, angry with himself for not being able to protect you.

His precious books were scattered across the floor, his room half destroyed as he sat quietly on the floor with silent tears in his eyes.

𝑨𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒅𝒆𝒖𝒔, who had tried to stay cheerful and positive, couldn't help the heartrending lament that left him as he broke down. He curled himself on his bed, sobbing in pain at the stabbing feeling he felt in his chest.

He kept seeing flashes of your beautiful smile, your mesmerizing eyes, and couldn't help but cry harder at the thought that he may never hear your laugh again.

𝑩𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒛𝒆𝒃𝒖𝒃, whose hunger pangs had grown in both frequency and intensity, felt as though a hole was carved in his chest, leaving him emptier than he's ever felt before. Tears blurred his vision as he fell on his knees, hands clutching his abdomen as if that would make him whole again.

Your absence left a void inside of him that his hunger could never match. A void that could never be filled no matter how much food he ate.

𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒈𝒐𝒓, who locked himself in the attic to sleep so he could dream of you, felt the world go dark when his dream version of you disappeared, leaving him alone in the dark void. He woke up with a scream, tears streaming down his face, overwhelmed by the feeling of your absence.

And he knew, even if he tried to escape the pain by sleeping the days away, he would still dream of you. He will never break free of the pain of losing you, not even indulging in his sin.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hi! I just love your levi fics so much!

For a request I was hoping for something like this -

Levi & reader had grown up together along with Isabel and farlan, when the group gets sent off onto their fateful mission levi thinks reader died alongside with Isabel and farlan. (Angst)

Only to discover years later that reader was alive and actually doing very well for themselves, well known and a strong fighter. Just a very cute reunion fic maybe? Maybe romance 👀 thanks! <3

🦅- Anon

this was an emotional rollercoaster I'm still crying babe but here you go, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <3

Levi thinking he lost his sun forever only to find you again after years

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Word Count: 3,3k

Synopsis: It's been 1869 days since you were killed by the abnormal titan Isabel and Farlan lost their lives to as well, 1869 days of missing you and regretting that Levi didn't tell you about his true feelings when you were still alive. Little does he know you aren't so easy to get rid of and that you are still out there...

Warnings: death, blood, war scene, depression, full on hurt to comfort, super duper fluff in the end, as usual not proofread because I need to go to bed now hehe

Notes: Finally my first Levi fic after literally MONTHS! I know a lot of you were patiently waiting for more attack on titan content and I'm beyond sorry it took me so long babes. Please let me know how you feel about Attack on Titan content so that I might do more and especially regular fics in the future <3

He can’t take his eyes off you. To be exact, the sunlight suits your facial features so well that it seems impossible to ever let go of your sight.

You have been friends since he met you on that day exactly 6 years ago, when you tried to steal a load of food for a heavy pregnant woman. Since then, he was captivated by your beauty, your brain, your skills. But somehow, this makes the stinging fact that you sit beside him even worse.

“You shouldn’t be here, (y/n)”, he speaks out before he’s able to stop himself.

Immediately, your gaze drifts away from the dreamy scenery to him, eyes widen in surprise.

“What are you talking about, Levi?”

Don’t say his name while looking at him like that, not with that gentle tone in your angelic voice. He told himself over and over that you are nothing but a close friend, maybe considered family like Isabel and Farlan.

He huffs to himself. What a filthy little lie.

“This mission is dangerous. I don’t want you to get-“

“Hurt? Killed? You told me about all those things more than once and I’m happy to repeat myself again for you: I will not leave you, Farlan’s and Isabel’s side. After all, we are friends, right? And friends don’t leave each other behind.”

You gift him with your usual breath-taking smile while his heart skips a beat.

A friend.

He has to remind himself over and over again, force his orbs away from you. You are nothing but friends. And he will never risk to lose you over the potential of something more.

-the evening before the mission-

“I thought I’d find you here”, your teasing voice shouts from behind.

You are probably the last thing he wants to see this evening. Not because he doesn’t enjoy your company, but because he wasn’t able to convince you to stay in safety. Erwin Smith made it very clear that this mission is dangerous, that multiple survey corps member already died behind those walls. And even though you, Farlan and Isabel showed your skills countless times before, he can’t stop his train of thought. You, getting grabbed by a titan. You, getting ripped apart, your blood scattering onto the ground. He won’t have the chance to stay by your side during all times. One wrong movement, one thoughtless decision and you’d be gone.

“I don’t even have to ask in order to know what you’re thinking about right now, Levi.”

The second your hand brushes over his shoulder, he is too lost in the feeling of your bare hand against his shirt to worry any further.

“You don’t have to worry about Farlan, Isabel and me. After all, you’re the one who taught us everything we know.”

“Tsk. You were already doing fine when I met you.”

“But you were the one who showed me there is still hope, something worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died down there without ever seeing the sun once in my life”, you reply.

All of the sudden you place your hand on top of his and squeeze in gently. That look on your face, is it…Affection? He shakes his head firmly, doesn’t allow himself to get lost in that oh so sweet idea. A woman like you will never fall for a cold-hearted man like him, not when the whole squad fell head over heels for you the second they got to know you better. You are a true sweetheart, everyone’s favorite, a ray of sunshine. He, on the other hand, is none of that.

“Stop praising me or else I’ll puke and make a mess onto the freshly cleaned floor.”

No, he doesn’t deserve your kind word, doesn’t even deserve that spark in your eyes. You are better off without him, even as a friend.

“You’ll gonna clean it up anyway”, you bite back with a wide grin.

“Actually, there is something else I want to talk with you about, Levi.”

The sudden change in your voice paired with the warmth of your hand leaving his lets his gaze wander to yours again – only to catch you already staring.

“What is it?”, he questions instantly.

“If you have to decide between Isabel, Farlan and me…Just promise that you’ll safe them before even thinking about my ass. Please look after them and don’t worry about me.”

His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, reveal his surprise and…his resist. Not thinking about you, leaving you behind? The urge to shake you becomes almost unbearable when he grabs your arms passionately, gaze locking with yours.

“There is no way in hell I will ever leave you behind, dumbass. Don’t you dare to die on me, got it?”

“Promise”, you urge.

“Promise you’ll look out for them first.”

“(y/n)…”

He has to close his eyes in order to stop staring at your perfect lips. This might be the last time he ever sees you alive so unbothered by his side, the last time he witnesses the way the dim moonlight lights up your hair.

This…might be your last night alive.

“Please, I can’t live with the thought of being without them. They are still so young.”

“What about you, though? What if I don’t want to live a life without you? What if I die myself?”

You smile at him sadly, your hand caressing his cheek oh so gently.

“We all know you won’t die out there, Levi. It’s us who might not be here with you tomorrow. After all, that’s why you wanted to stop us from coming with you, right?”

He swallows hard. Every single one of you is a skilled fighter. Hell, you even survived the underground with countless enemies chasing after you. But this? This is something completely different. For the first time since getting to know all of you, Levi isn’t so sure about your abilities anymore.

“I promise”, he replies with low voice.

“Thank you”, you breathe out.

“Now, let’s get some sleep, shall we? We have a big fight ahead of us.”

Oh, there is no doubt in the fact that Levi won’t close his eyes this whole cursed night, pondering about a way to safe all of you. But even though you are very aware of that, you turn on your heel and smile at him one last time.

The brightest smile of them all, making your face gleam in nothing but affection.

“Oh, and Levi?”

“What is it, dumbass?”

“When I was talking about the sun earlier…That sun was you.”

And then you’re gone in the dark, leaving him with his heart almost beating out of his chest and feelings clustered all over the place.

Him, your sun?

-the battle-

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, the violent scream escaping your lips not reaching your ringing ears. Those powerful orbs…There is no doubt in the fact that this is her, that this is Isabel. Tears stream down your face uncontrollably, mix with the bitter coat of rain that sticks to your face uncomfortably.

Your friend is dead. And you were not able to protect her.

“You.”

The monster standing in front of you doesn’t look like the other titans you’ve seen before. Eyes red like crimson, lips curved into an evil grin. This thing is absolutely aware of the agony it causes you and enjoys every tear you cry.

You grab your blades even tighter, narrow eyes fixating its nape.

“I will make you suffer”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“I will make you regret that you even touched her!”

You dash forward only to get greeted by thin air. Fuck, this thing is so fast you didn’t even realize it was gone until your blade crashed into the muddy ground. Why do your hands suddenly start shaking, your knees felling weak? It’s just you and that thing. The other corps members around you? Scuttered onto the floor in bloody pieces.

Levi?

You escape its clutches by a hair’s breadth, the monster’s stinging smell of death and rotten flesh making your guts turn. You need to focus, need to control your fear and anger. Otherwise, you’ll die just like all the others did.

Levi…Is he dead as well? There is no one around, no one showed a single reaction to your multiple cries for help, your signs. Maybe you’re the only one who’s left. Which means that Farlan and Levi are gone.

Levi, gone? Fuck, you should have told him about your true feelings yesterday, you should have pressed your lips against his like you always dreamed about. This was the last opportunity to tell him how much you love him before both of you die.

And now it will be forever too late.

Just when you’re about to dash forward, the arm of the titan yanks towards you with breath-taking speed. Your eyes widen in sheer horror as all you can do is stare in sheer disbelief.

Is this how you will die? Through the hand of an abnormal titan, eating you alive?

You always dreamed of a life on the surface with Levi by your side. Maybe a small cottage on the edge of a busy city close to a river. Having a little farm with a few animals here and there, Levi working for a local business while you stay home and care for your home. For a brief moment, you allow your eyes to rest, to get lost in the life you will never have.

If only you had told him sooner. Maybe then it would have been different. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel your bones crack against the sheer force of the titan’s flat palm, throwing you into the air like a ball.

As soon as your body hits the ground, everything goes black.

-5 years later-

He opens his eyes against the way too harsh sunlight. Another night he hasn’t slept more than 2 hours. Day 1869 of missing you.

“Good morning, Captain Levi!”

He doesn’t even care to reply, feet carrying him down the hallway monotone. His days have always been the same since the day he lost Isabel, Farlan and you: Getting haunted in his sleep, waking up alone, surviving another day in this living hell. It’s almost ironic, how he already hated the world when you were in it. Little did he know how much worse it would get when you’re gone.

There is no day since back then that doesn’t revolve around you. You, with your hair down in the sun. You, beating up some tuff guys and showing them their place. You, that fucking cursed night before you had to leave.

Until this day, he hates himself for not being there. By the time he arrived, everyone was dead, brutally murdered by an abnormal titan. And even after searching for your corpse for hours in the pouring rain, he didn’t even manage to find a single limb left of you. This should be a good sign. After all, it might mean that you somehow managed to survive.

“The chances of (y/n) surviving and managing to flee on her own are 1 against 500.000”, Erwin said back then.

Maybe it would have actually felt better, knowing that you’re dead. Maybe this would spare him from getting haunted by your giggling and fucking gorgeous face each and every night.

But…If getting haunted by your presence is all he has left, he shouldn’t complain about it.

“We are heading out today. It is said that there are countless abnormal titans roaming around a city nearby”, Erwin explains briefly.

“How the fuck did these things even manage to get in there?”, Levi grumbles in response while taking a sip of his way too hot tea.

“That’s not what I care about. What I’m more interested in is the fact that a group of villagers managed to trap one of them.”

Levi can’t help but put his cup of tea down while Hange bursts out in sheer excitement next to him. A group of villagers, trapping an abnormal titan?

“Former corps members?”, he questions.

“Apparently not. Maybe they are interested in a new job”, Erwin replies, getting up from his seat and straightening his uniform.

“We are leaving right now.”

“Right now? Over some brats who were lucky to not get eaten by that titan?”

“You can’t deny that these ‘brats’ have to be skilled in order to trap an abnormal titan, Levi.  Also, I heard the head of them is a woman.”

Levi huffs to himself. Skilled, huh? Lucky is definitely the better fit.

You sink your blade straight into the eye of the disgusting creature lying in front of you, watch in sheer satisfaction how it squeals underneath.

“Hope you enjoy that as much as I do”, you mumble, twisting and turning your sword painfully slow.

“(y/n), d-don’t you think that’s enough? What if it escapes?”, the man next to you cries out, holding safe distance between himself and the abnormal.

“So what? Listen, you little shit. If you even try to escape, I will kill you without even blinking, got it?”

You rip your blade out. In, out, in, out until everything around you is covered in crimson.

Just like back then.

You stumble back when a wave of nausea hits you. The sight of Isabel’s lifeless head, her limbs scattered across the muddy floor. Back then, you weren’t able to save her, weren’t even able to save yourself. If it wasn’t for your crew, you’d be dead by now. Just like her…

“Hey.”

“How about you take a break for a sec? You’re drifting off again.”

Her gently voice pulls you out of your nightmare just like her tender touch. Petra has been the greatest support since that fateful day. In fact, the only reason you are still alive is her. When she found you, you were already on the brink of death. Only due to her passionate and long-term care, you learned how to walk again, learned how to fight again.

“Sorry”, you mumble, allowing yourself to rest for a moment against her strong shoulder.

“(y/n), I’m sorry to interrupt you like this but…We spotted members of the survey corps?”

“The survey corps?”, you repeat in sheer disbelief.

Rage starts flooding your veins in an instant, forcing you to pick up your blade again. If there’s one thing you will never forgive the survey corps for, it’s the fact that they left you standing in the rain. The countless people who died with the wings of faith embroidered onto their jackets, eaten alive by a titan while your desperate cries for help remained unanswered until this day. For Erwin Smith, you were nothing but canon fodder, nothing but a bait. And you will forever hate him over the fact that he is partly responsible for the death of Isabel, Farlan and Levi.

You storm in the direction your scout sighted them, jumping from tree to tree in order to catch them by surprise. You will definitely not tolerate survey corps members around your area, especially when you just caught an abnormal titan to study and torture.

“There they are.”

Their disgusting green cloaks fill you with thick anger, almost force you onto the ground to knock every single one of them out. But you know all too well this isn’t the way to go. No, you will wait here until the right time comes to throw yourself at their captain.

There are five of them, walking towards the direction of your village. Just wait a few more seconds until the one who walks ahead is underneath you, one second and you…

You lunge yourself at the person with full speed, forcing them to the ground. Him, to be exact. That firm chest exposes all too urgently that you just attacked a man.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, brat?”, he barks at you, rough hands grabbing your wrists so tightly that your bones threaten to shatter.

You aren’t able to defend yourself, though.

That voice, the way he called you brat.

Is it really possible that…

You allow your eyes to look up at him and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

“Levi.”

You breathe his name out like a prayer, as if your dream might become reality. These grey and unbothered eyes look just like you remember his, the dark hair framing his face oh so perfectly.

“Levi, is that you?”

He can’t comprehend his feelings. Just a second ago, he was under attack of a stranger. But your eyes aren’t foreign. They hold the spark he dreams of each and every night, the memory he cares about so deeply. Is it really possible, that…

“(y/n).”

Everyone was so sure that you died on the battlefield, that the titan must have eaten you alive without leaving any remains. But maybe there was nothing to remain. Maybe you actually did manage to survive. Is it possible? Is this really you?

“I thought you died.”

Your voice is nothing but a fade away whisper, tears streaming down your usual so composed face like rivers when your memories begin to crash down on you like a house of cards. All those years, you were convinced Levi lost his life on this battlefield as well, that you were the only one remaining. But now you’re sitting on top of him, taking in his clean scent while he glares at you the way he used to.

“Everyone tried to convince me that that fucking abnormal ate you back then, that there is no chance you survived. Now look at you, dumbass”, he breathes out, very own eyes now coated in a thin layer of glimmering tears.

There is no time to waste. With a swift motion, you lunge yourself at him again, wrap your arms around his strong torso as if your life depends on it while resting your head against his chest and crying your heart out.

Words will always fail to express how much you missed him, that you thought about him each and every night since the day he was taken away from you so roughly. But now, you will never let him go again. Now you won’t waste another opportunity to tell him how you really feel.

“I love you, Levi. I loved you since our days in the underground city, I loved you through all these horrible years of grief. I love you. I love you”, you finally blurt out.

“I love you too, (y/n). I always did.”

Gently, he rests his hand against your nape while lifting your chin up with the other.

The second your lips meet, your world feels complete for the first time. All the pain, the grief, the things you had to endure. The countless nights of imagining him right by your side, the thought of never seeing him again. And now he’s here, right in your arms while kissing you so passionately that you fail to breathe.

“I love you”, he repeats so softly that your heart melts away like butter.

“I love you…”

“I finally found my sun again”, you smile against his lips.

You snuggle yourself onto him even tighter, your grip around his torso firm. Oh, you will definitely never let this man go again. Not after it took both of you so many years to meet again, not when he’s all you ever wanted.

Levi Ackerman, the love of your life.  

“Who’s that woman throwing herself at you from a tree and then getting a smooch from you?”

“Shut up, shitty four-eyes”, Levi barks at the person standing behind him.

Tags:

@hellkaiserinphoenix  @chilichopsticks @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain (hope you noticed I actually named reader's bestie after you babe) @polarbvnny @kentocalls @kayleegomez

First divider by wonderful @cafekitsune - check out the banner I used here!

Second one as usual from the best @saradika-graphics - I worship the ground you walk on honey

[odesofmeddea]

house of the dragon viewers who, mostly, are avid shippers of canonical incestuous uncle-niece marriage being so collectively repelled by the mother-son intercourse on-screen they cry and throw up begging for the harrenhal arc to end is so incredibly stupid, i'm not even sorry. daemon's arc this season is the best thing that could've happened to his individual narrative... he's the character who is not very vocal about, or easy with exteriorizing, his inner turmoils and anxieties. what harrenhal haunting does is forcefully dehisces those very intimate things out. although there's an obvious preternatural compulsion toward daemon's more malevolent impulses - as in the horrid compulsion issuing either from the place or the place and alys-entity's converged powers that might as expose and explore as pervert his resentment for rhaenyra and viserys and the simultaneous yearning to be unconditionally loved by them and by his mother into its extreme violent manifestations, - we still get to see way more human aspects of him becoming bare. things unuttered like guilt and sorrow, and regret no one believes him capable of - rhaenyra, laena, and little jaehaerys; fears, vulnerabilities, and the deep sense of emotional disorientation, trauma, and loss that the fandom's manichaean reading aggressively denies him. viserys' favoritism culminates in the decollation of rhaenyra that he himself is perturbed with not because he maniacally harbors harmful deadly intentions on her behalf but because there's an ugly wound that viserys, the family and patriarchal society as inevitability caused him and that alys' (or harrenhal's) influence is exacerbating through manipulation of his tattered psyche.

daemon dreaming his mother - whom he lost at too young age of three to actually establish any substantial proved relationships with - in this sexual role and womb-oriented denouement, in which he is only temporarily full of filial bliss before the ghast at consummation comes over him, is not some sui generis daemon-perversion but a part of his social and psychic character constitution and its study. alyssa's words might as well have been a self-consolatory projection he kept nurturing throughout his life: at least for his dead mother (whom he couldn't really know; dead being void, void being fillable) he was the most beloved, superior, and irreproachable one - the way that he wasn't for viserys and isn't always for rhaenyra, but wishes he was. viserys himself admitting to alyssa favoring toddler daemon most likely fortified this believe and necessity of that believe for daemon.

still, he is genuinely uncomfortable with every single apparition he's been subjected to face so far, and is not deriving a near sexual rapture (as does aemond at having aegon personally maimed) from seeing little rhaenyra accusing him of leaving her and stitching the head of the child he ordered to decapitate, nor rejoicing in the throne room after having her killed. he is not pouncing aroused (albeit he was, at first) on the figment of his bleeding mother to repeat the coitus - even if most of it is psychosexual, daemon is very obviously suffering from the horrors that are self, in situ, but are reflected through the doubles (rhaenyra, aemond) and the other (alys, alyssa).

it's breathtaking what they're doing with daemon this season. his line with alys is on par to the said. it's the best current new pairing in the show, with its own indefinite charm, albeit the pairing potentially being a sinister one. daemon is quite intimately drawn to alys despite the suppressed sense of something eerie in her omniscience. and i find it so interesting and captivating i almost wish it would never end... may daemon targaryen be haunted by his witch-fiend-friend forever!

[allwaswell16]

F a v o r i t e F i c s O f 2 0 2 3

As an avid One Direction fan fic reader, 2023 has been a truly amazing year for fics! I read so many incredible fics this year, so please check out all my recs for the year here! Below you will find fics that made me cry or cry with laughter. Others brought me comfort during hard times or filled my heart with joy or had me screaming into my pillow in surprise. I share this list with you all not to say that these fics are better than others from this year, but to say thank you to these writers who have left a mark on me with their fics.

To all our fandom's writers, thank you for the gift of your stories! Sending much love to you in the new year!

⚜️ Louis / Harry ⚜️

And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 109k, famous/not famous) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart? And can they find their way back, before they lose each other forever?

De amore ex tempore by @persephoneflouwers

(M, 101k, historical) the Middle Ages AU where Harry is a philosopher, whose thoughts happen five centuries too soon and Louis is a painter, whose art happens five centuries too late. & Or: the Time Travel AU where alternate versions of themselves live simultaneously in different realities and their paths collide every time, until somehow, they converge into one.

Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me) by @lululawrence

(NR, 82k, age difference) Louis wasn't planning on getting home and learning that Gemma's dad had gotten the house in the divorce and was dealing with things by focusing on work, the house, and his newly planted garden. It becomes obvious early on that Harry is a bit lost and Gemma is worried about him. To help both of them, Louis is more than happy to help Harry find himself again.

Teach me how to love by @perfectdagger

(E, 70k, one night stand) The one in which Harry is bad at sex and Louis spreads it all over town and to make up for it, decides to help him with no agenda of getting anything from it, but in the end, he ends up getting more than he bargained for.

your memory over me by @shimmeringevil

(E, 64k, exes) The worst heartbreak of Louis’ life walks right back into it when his parents invite their family friends on an all-expenses-paid trip for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Facing a past that he tried to bury long ago, Louis learns that some people have a way of sticking with you even when they’re gone

saw some things on the other side by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 61k, murder mystery) Unfortunately, Louis’ plan doesn’t take into account the fact that instead of writing murder mysteries, he will find himself in one.

and i would search the night sky to find you by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain

(E, 56k, omegaverse) Harry Styles is a high class, well-bred Omega attending Bosworth Academy - a prestigious boarding school looking over the small town on Kinsey. He has his whole life already planned for him, learning his place as the potential mate for an important Alpha, practicing his home making skills, and be obedient above all else.

Suddenly Last Summer by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 44k, mystery) Suddenly he has someone who listens to him and cares about what he thinks. Someone who really sees him. But their happily ever after is forever marred by an incident at a party during Labor Day weekend, and Louis is left with a choice to make.

Train Tracks and Porcelain by @jaerie

(E, 41k, historical circus au) Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

You're Not My Type (still I fall) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter

(M, 38k, omegaverse) This is just a bit of rain; it'll blow over. Then Harry will just... well, alright, he isn't entirely sure what to do when the rain stops because he'll still be stuck and lost. 

My Other Half Was You by @lululawrence

(NR, 35k, small town au) Four years, seven months, and sixteen days after the day that changed everything, Louis turns a corner and literally runs into the man who just might change it all again.

I Really Like Your Styles: The Baking Advent-ure by @homosociallyyours

(T, 35k, coffee shop) Louis isn't much for frills, and the coffee shop he co-owns with his best friend Liam is evidence of that. Yes, it's got a decent sized, well-kept industrial kitchen, but Louis insists that people come to coffee shops for coffee, not mediocre pastry and plastic wrapped cookies. 

You Ain’t Gotta Feel Fear Just Mingle by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 32, coworkers) Harry has been at his dream job for less than three months, and he knows two things for sure; first, his project manager doesn't know what he's doing, and second, someone in the office is apparently pure evil, and no one will tell Harry who it is.

Cowboy Like Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(M, 29k, thief au) Going legit and starting over in a small town was supposed to solve all of Harry’s problems. That was until a string of robberies in wealthy towns brings him face-to-face with his rogue ex-partner and their dicey, unresolved past.

'cause I want you (for the worse and for the better) by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(NR, 26k, omegaverse) When Louis gets invited along to Anne's wedding, Harry is prepared to let people think whatever they want about their relationship. That's what Louis said -- let people think whatever they want. 

what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 22k, fwb) A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for.

'tis the damn season by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(E, 17k, girl direction) Harry returns to her small hometown over the holiday season and starts to think about the road not taken.

Captain Cupid by @2tiedships2

(NR, 15k, omegaverse) the one where Niall enlists his friends to help start a speed dating side hustle. Things don't go as planned... or maybe they do?

It Will Always Be You by @phdmama

(E, 15k, older Larry) If you had told Louis Tomlinson a year ago that he would be celebrating his birthday by kissing the man who is the love of his life on a Church Street park bench in Burlington VT as the snow drifted softly down, he would have told you that you were extremely imaginative. 

Eyes on the Horizon by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(E, 12k, age difference) Freshly dumped, recently fired, and about to turn 40, Harry's friends insist on taking him skydiving to cheer him up.

You Light Up the Path by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(T, 12k, mermaid au) Louis Tomlinson left his home in Doncaster as a young man with the intent of making enough money to send it back home to his family and support them however he could. Harry, or so he likes to be called, is the myth and legend himself known as the Staithes Mermaid. 

Sex Drunk Suckerpunch by thinlines / @thinlinez

(E, 7k, sugar baby) Sugar Baby Louis did what any sugar baby should avoid doing but (clichely) end up doing anyways, that is, failing for his sugar mama.

Court Wine by @enchantedlandcoffee , red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

(T, 7k, omegaverse) after a misunderstanding during a scrabble game, Alpha Louis starts courting Omega Harry without the latter being aware of it.

you give me feelings that i adore by @alwaysxlarrie

(T, 7k, a/b/o) 5 times Louis scents Harry's things and the 1 time Harry returns the gesture.

Truth or Drink by @kingsofeverything

(M, 6k, exes to lovers) Harry and Louis broke up years ago, and they're seeing each other again for the first time to play Truth or Drink. On camera.

Perfect, For Now by @parmahamlarrie

(T, 4k, omegaverse) Moving to a new city is always hard, being away from home, finding your new community - none of it is easy. Dealing with all of this while being touch deprived is even more difficult.

Unplant by @hellolovers13

(M, 4k, neighbors) Louis should've looked where he was going, then he wouldn't have to desperately try to save a little flower now.

nights like these by localopa / @voulezloux

(G, 3k, angst with a happy ending) you smile at me and say “it’s time to go.” but i don’t feel like going home.

sorry for... by stretchmybones / @lookwhatyoumademelou

(M, 1k, roommates) How else was Harry supposed to apologize properly? He was indeed a stress baker. 

Mistletoe Kiss by @neondiamond

(G, 1k, roommates) A little bit of mistletoe is just the thing Louis needed to let his roommate Harry know he’s got quite the crush on him.

Still by downcamethelightning / @downcamethelightnings

(G, 666 words, Halloween) FBI Agent Louis calls Harry to investigate a case believed to have taken place in Harry's own home. Harry is quite familiar with the victim's face.

⚜️ Rare Pairs ⚜️

The Light Out In The Madness (Hold Tight) by @lalalaartje

(E, 46k, Niall/Louis) When Louis ends up with Niall as a roommate after a messy break up with Harry, he considers it truly life saving. They become fast friends and while Louis is sceptical about Niall's idea to start fake dating to take revenge on Harry, it can't be that bad, can it?

neither wanting more, neither asking why (series) by @justanothershadeofblue

(E, 40k, OT5) If Louis is the origin, Zayn the expansion, Liam the complication, Niall the solution, then Harry - Harry's the completion.

Bloom by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 28k, Louis/Liam) In early 1970s Oxford, Detective Sergeant Louis Tomlinson has to deal with the dual pressures of a case that hits too close to home, and the arrival of new colleague Liam Payne.

Jump! by @reminiscingintherain

(M, 15k, Louis/Tommy Longhurst) “I absolutely know what this means, lad,” he replied, his voice gentle and supportive. “The way you’re reacting to being out there? That’s exactly why I chose you for the support slot.” He gave a reassuring squeeze. “You deserve this, okay?” 

Cold Spring by @nouies

(E, 8k, Louis/Pedro Pascal) Louis is a coffee shop owner and Pedro is his newest customer.

Chaos by @haztobegood

(M, 100 words, Louis/OMC [bodyguard]) Against the barricade, it’s complete chaos.

[quiet-saint]

𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫!𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞/𝐆𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Pairing: Dante/Gn!reader

Cw: +18/mdni, sorry my hand slipped and it got nsfw at the end my bad gang.

A/n: lowkey a warm up bc I want to expand on this later. Also new to hc format. Not really proofread as always.

♡

• Values privacy when it comes to your relationship. Doesn't want you to have to endure the press/paparazzi or potential stalkers so he does his absolute best to keep your relationship secret.

• Honestly will get you anything. Constantly lavishing you with gifts. Lowkey a sugar daddy in that regard? Oh well he has the money this time lmfao I'm talking clothes, flowers, jewlery, hell even a car if that's what you want. You don't ask him for much though. His presence and quality time is more than enough.

• Will also take you anywhere you want but as stated earlier, Dante likes to keep your realtionship private because he doesn't want any harm to come to you. So it's tricky. You two are under the radar when you actually go out on a date. It's a bit stressful so you two don't do it often. Whatever, you both prefer staying in anyway.

• Will NOT wear his signature red leather jacket on his way to your place or from it. Too recognizable. Keeps it hidden away.

• Goes to your place the majority of the time because it's easier and he finds his house too lonely. Yours is far cozier and welcoming.

• As such there's quite a bit of Dante's stuff at your place. A guitar, photos he took while on the road, his clothes, keepsakes from other artists. You have to put his stuff away in a closet when you have guests over so they don't ask questions.

• You do however have a photo of him framed—a particularly nice one in which Dante is seated on your couch with his guitar in hand, mid-laugh, his blue eyes bright and crinkling at the corners. You had a hell of a time explaing that. "Why do you have a framed photo of Dante Sparda? Didn't think you'd be one to be a super fan", "Uh, well I am? F-found it online I thought it was cute." "Okay but why do you guys have the same couch and—" You snatched the photo away so fast.

• Of course, being so private had its downsides. Especially when Dante is on the road. You get jealous. Insecurity turns your insides cold, nearly blooming into nausea. Worried Dante will find somebody better, somebody more attractive, somebody he can relate to more when it comes to fame. You call him often and sometimes cry as you tell him over the phone how much you miss him. It tears Dante up inside but he vows to make it up to you whenever he is able.

• Speaking of making it up to you, when Dante gets off tour he's immediately coming to your place. His exhaustion from touring quickly fades once he's in your presence.

• Will 100% be the type of guy to come into your house and yell "honey i'm home!" Because he's honestly been waiting for a moment like that. Someone to come home to, someone to hold close, someone to greet him eagerly and sweetly.

• Dante will be all too happy to make up for lost time. He remembers all the sweet phone calls, filthy texts, and pictures. Dante's pressing you into the mattress within thirty minutes of being home.

• He finds it so sweet and cute when you protest with a little "aren't you tired?" spoken between breath-taking kisses.

• No. No the fuck he isn't. Not when he's home finally and so, so close to you.

• He'll be leaving kisses and marks all over you, telling you how much he missed you while he was on tour all the while working you open with his fingers.

• Also this man is so big on praise.

• "God y'look so pretty angel", "sound so cute baby", "Fuuck it's been forever you're takin me so well" meanwhile you can hardly think, can only take and feel and this man is praising you for it. Clench around him? Praise. Cry his name? Praise. Cum for him? Praiseee.

• Will gently pull you up after you're all done and tug you into the shower with him.

• Will wash your hair while telling you about other artists/bands he's met, interviews, events.

• Then once you two are all clean and dressed comfortably Dante is pulling you back into bed to curl around your back and breathe in the scent of home. He falls asleep adorably quick. Snores loud as hell but you wouldn't give that sound up for anything in the world.

♡

Yeah this started as a hc thing but honestly?? I've been putting way too much thought into a band au it's ridiculous. So maybe I'll expand further. I already wanna do a one shot that delves further into reader and Dante's relationship. Thank you for reading! <3

[lovelyney]

───────DATING HIM !! WANDERER───────

CHARACTERS: wanderer

SCENT: headcanons

WARNINGS: get’s a little suggestive at times, LMAO.

FLORIST’S NOTE: just!!! one!!! million smooches!!! pls!!!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯2022 !! #©LOVELYNEY

꒱₊˚ 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑 !! 𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐓

𖠵𝟎𝟏: Initially ?? This guy was the biggest twat of all Teyvat, LMFAO. Kinda still is, but shhh. . . He wouldn’t dare let anyone get close to him.

key word being ‘initially’ he came across you one day while wandering the forests of Inazuma and was like, “fuck.”

𖠵𝟎𝟐: It took him a while to fully warm up to you and trust you; you had to put in a reasonable amount of effort to show that you weren’t going anywhere.

he didn’t dare show it to you, but he felt relieved seeing you stick around after how bitterly he treated you.

𖠵𝟎𝟑: He’s always been incredibly protective over you. You’re the first one that’s decided to stick around him; you think he’s just gonna let you run off ?? Fuck no.

𖠵𝟎𝟒: That said, he’s also quite possessive as well. You’re his first love and, frankly, his last; he plans on keeping you for as long as you’ll let him. And if someone attempts to steal you ?? God bless their poor soul.

𖠵𝟎𝟓: A cocky bastard forever and always ‹3 He loves whenever you two go back and forth.

𖠵𝟎𝟔: Before, he, quite frankly, rarely showed affection. But after he was defeated, he became much more open to it since he didn’t care what people thought of him.

he also just wanted to make up for the times he didn’t give you enough love or was being a nightmare, but you didn’t hear it from me.

𖠵𝟎𝟕: He loves to tease you !! Seeing your cheeks flush because of him is the biggest ego boost putting aside whenever you’re crying out his name he can ever receive.

𖠵𝟎𝟖: Kisses you like the world’s going to end tomorrow. His kisses are always incredibly passionate and deep.

he has always loved making out with you, for some reason. he says it’s “a gentle reminder that you're mine and mine alone.” like ?? you call THAT gentle ??

shoving his tongue down your throat is his favorite pastime.

𖠵𝟎𝟗: Calls you “sweetheart,” “(my) love,” and “(my) princess/prince.”

❝I have a feeling I don’t say this as much as I should, given how much it kills my ego. But, I love you, alright? I hope you never doubt that despite how much of a pain in the ass I can be sometimes. But hey, it takes one to know one, sweetheart.❞

𖠵𝟏𝟎: 10000% pulls you close to him when it rains, so you don’t get wet. Sometimes he even lets you wear his hat just by itself !! (Alhough, the latter is more likely as it gives him a reason to keep you close.)

𖠵𝟏𝟏: Sometimes, when you two are out and about in the cities of Sumeru, Nahida likes to pop in to see how you two are doing!

she always tells you that he’s fortunate to have you and that she’s thankful that he has someone like you.

𖠵𝟏𝟐: In more crowded places, he’ll always hold a little bit more tightly onto your hand, scared that you’re going to get lost and potentially hurt.

𖠵𝟏𝟑: Holds you tightly and close whenever you two sleep, scared that you’re going to vanish the next time he opens his eyes.

𖠵𝟏𝟒: Whenever he’s deep in thought, he’ll always absentmindedly play with your fingers.

𖠵𝟏𝟓: Your entire presence is an immense comfort for him. He finds himself thinking that he wishes he could’ve found you sooner.

𖠵𝟏𝟔: Always watches over you whenever you’re doing something, making sure you don’t accidentally hurt yourself.

𖠵𝟏𝟕: Has a deep bitter resentment towards Childe since he constantly flirted with you back when he was in the Fatui 💀

𖠵𝟏𝟖: At home, he’s attached to you at the hip. Whenever you’re cooking, he’ll back-hug you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

sometimes he’ll use the excuse of “you’re obviously not strong enough to stir this so let me help you” just to hold your hand.

𖠵𝟏𝟗: Seeing you play with children brings forth a new wave of emotions for him.

𖠵𝟐𝟎: Sometimes bruises you from hard he grips you.

𖠵𝟐𝟏: Putting aside his anemo vision, fully loving and watching over you has given him a new type of freedom.

𖠵𝟐𝟐: You didn’t talk to him for a while after what he did to Nahida, and because he completely neglected your loyalty to him. Safe to say, it taught him a lesson, LMFAO.

during his resting period, he informed Nahida all about your relationship and how much he actually missed you after all of it; how, after the sour taste of defeat, he’d kill to be resting in your arms.

he cried in your arms for a long while when he finally found you; he missed you a lot more than he ever thought he would.

𖠵𝟐𝟑: Listen, just because he’s a lot kinder now doesn’t mean he still isn’t a little sadistic. . . He still loves to see you squirm from underneath him.

𖠵𝟐𝟒: When he gets nightmares, or his abandonment issues are running high, he’ll lay on top of you so you can comb your fingers through his hair. ‹33

𖠵𝟐𝟓: Loves to mark you on places that are easily spottable. That way people hopefully know to back the hell off.

𖠵𝟐𝟔: He has pretty hands !! He doesn’t see the purpose in your fascination with them or why you like to play with them, but he finds it cute, endearing almost.

𖠵𝟐𝟕: Quick to snap at anyone who’s getting too close to you or is raising their voice.

𖠵𝟐𝟖: Kept you completely hidden from Dottore; he does not trust him around you in any way.

𖠵𝟐𝟗: Now that he has you, he wouldn’t trade you for the stars or any of the planets.

𖠵𝟑𝟎: Always aggressively gives you affection when you ask for it.

while holding onto you: “is this better?😡😡”

“yes, thank you, Kuni ‹3”

“good, it better be because now i’m not gonna let you go😡”

𖠵𝟑𝟏: (↑) He’s also rather aggressive when taking of you when you’re injured or sick—that’s just how he projects his worries.

𖠵𝟑𝟐: Will sometimes threaten to drop you whenever he’s holding you and floating in the air 😭

𖠵𝟑𝟑: Actively seeks out opportunities to hold your waist/have his hands on your waist. The way they fit around it brings him a sense of satisfaction and pride.

𖠵𝟑𝟒: Only cooks/buys you the best quality of food; he will not have it any other way. If food is something that’s required for you to live, then he will only give you the best to ensure you staying alive.

this means he will not have you skipping meals or not eating !! ):< he’ll figure out the root of the reason why, try to fix it, and continue to feed you smaller portions of the meals he cooks.

[muekyn]

rq: hii pls can i request an eren x reader canon fic? like they are in a relationship but the night before she goes on a mission, they have a fight so he doest say goodbye to her the next morning before she leaves for her mission and she goes missing. eren loves her sm and spends his missions (even free time) looking for her for the next few weeks and finally finds her and apologises crying and everything saying how much he loves her🫶

a/n: this was such a sweet concept <33 i hope you like it ahh... also! for the sake of this fic, eren is a part of the survey corps still!

content: pre-established relationship, mentions of death/implied death, fluff, a bit of angst but it resolves itself

word count: 1.6k - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

it had been three weeks already.

a frantic three weeks at that.

as the days ticked by, eren found himself beyond restless; worried out of his mind. the last conversation you had with him replayed endlessly in his head. unfortunately, it wasn’t a smooth conversation.

eren had suddenly mentioned to you that he only had a few years left, and that he wanted you to find ways to start to “prepare yourself and move on”. ultimately, he wanted to remind you that his time with you was extremely limited and dwindling. and of course, you didn’t want to hear it. you couldn’t handle hearing it.

you didn’t want to move on. but eren wanted you to prepare for the inevitable future. harsh words were exchanged between each other, an argument that both of you were determined to win. but ultimately, the debate that you two had scratched away at eren, clawed and gnawed on his insides.

he couldn’t help but regret every word that he carelessly spat out.

if only he could take it all back.

if only he could see you again.

but you had been gone. for three weeks now, and it was beyond concerning.

you left for a mission the night before you and eren argued, and never returned. once your expedition was over, eren had searched the crowds of soldiers, his heart sinking when he didn’t spot your sweet face. and to add insult to injury, eren didn’t even say goodbye to you when you left, too caught up in being upset about the previous night’s argument.

the panic and turmoil eren went through was indescribable. he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sit still. he couldn’t relax in any way, to put it frankly. he was worried sick about you.

eren had to see you again, he had to talk to you again. there was no way that was your last conversation with him, right? there was no way that was the end of it. no. absolutely not.

to keep himself from spiraling, eren had to convince himself that you were out there, somewhere. maybe you just wandered off from your squad and got lost?

regardless, he would do whatever it took to bring you back home to him.

while on expeditions, eren looked for you. there were several times where eren would receive a firm reminder to “focus on the mission”, but how could he? how could he, when he knew that you were out there somewhere, potentially hurt, injured- afraid? how could he possibly focus on the mission when his mind was so full of thoughts of you?

eren searched for you in his free time as well. he spent so long searching in the forest of giant trees, he was certain that he could have mapped it out at this point. as he examined each and every crevice and corner of the forest, his hope slowly started to dwindle. there were no signs of anyone, no signs of you.

for three weeks, it was like this.

desperation started to kick in for eren towards the end of the third week. as he started another search for you, gazing at what seemed like the thousandth tree, he couldn’t help but wonder: what if that was the last time he saw you?

after all, he couldn’t keep this up forever. he was losing himself trying to find you.

eren ventured farther into the forest, coming across an area that he didn’t really recognize. in the depths of the forest was a small lake, one that extended past eren’s line of sight. guiding his horse, eren traveled down the lake’s path, his eyes scouring every inch of the dense green ferns and trees around him.

after what seemed like an hour of traveling down the lake, there were still no signs of you. just as eren was about to turn around, ready to accept defeat and despair once again, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

in the distance, was a small, dilapidated home. as eren approached the home, he could see just how abandoned it was. half of the house was covered in thick moss and shrubbery, wooden panels falling off the frames of the house’s structure. the home looked as if it had been untouched for a decade.

and eren would have thought that was the case, if he didn’t see the cloak that was hung outside of the house. it was yours. eren was able to instantly recognize it as yours, since he was keenly familiar with all the rips and tears that your cloak had.

with his heart racing, eren nearly toppled off of his horse with how fast he clambered off. instantly, he’s glued to the front of the house, frantically knocking on the door.

but no response.

eren pried open the door after a few minutes of waiting. peering inside, he couldn’t make out any figures or recent signs of life. it was as if you had disappeared and just left your cloak behind. truly, he was at a loss for words.

eren stood in the doorframe for a moment, unsure of what to do. small tears welted in his eyes as he came to the conclusion that he may never see you again. and to know that the last thing he told you was to forget about him, absolutely killed him.

he didn’t want you to forget him. he didn’t want you to move on.

he needed you. he needed to be with you.

but you were gone.

at the very least, maybe he could bring back your cloak. it would be a reminder of you. a reminder of your beautiful heart and your love for the world, your love for him. he would never let this small piece of you go. he would-

“eren?” called a familiar voice.

whipping his head in the direction of the sound, his eyes practically glow upon the sight in front of him.

it’s you.

eren freezes for a moment, examining you with a contortion of shock, sadness, and elated happiness on his face. was this real? were you really standing in front of him right now?

before eren can respond, you rush over to him as quickly as you can, wrapping your arms around him tightly. once eren feels your skin against his, he knows he isn’t imagining things. instantly, he locks his arms around you, embracing you as deeply as he can. you can feel the heavy weight of his chest, sporadically rising and falling as he lets out a small hiccup of a sob.

“i’ve been looking everywhere for you,” eren says, his voice wavering.

“i’m sorry…” you reply. “i ended up getting chased away from my squad… and i found this house, so i took shelter in it. i just didn’t know how to get back, and my horse ran away…”

“i’m just glad you’re okay,” eren lets out a deep sigh. “you’ve been gone for so long…”

“i know…” you trail off.

“god- you have no idea how happy i am to see you…” eren admits.

“wait- how did you even find me?” you question, just now seeming to realize you’ve been living in the middle of nowhere for the past three weeks.

eren gives a slight shrug through your grip. “i didn’t want our talk to be the last thing we remembered about each other… so, i just kept looking.”

“that’s… really sweet,” you softly breathe.

“i just- i’m really sorry about that,” eren continues. “-about our fight.”

“eren…” you gently smile at him. “it’s okay. i know you were just trying to look out for me… but i’m sorry for getting upset at you, too. we both could have handled that better.”

eren’s hold on you gets tighter as he buries himself into the side of your face, his tears slightly dampening your skin. “i regret everything i said… i don’t want you to move on, honestly. i want to be with you, forever.”

“aw,” you coo, your voice soothing and calm. “we’re with each other, right now. we’re both okay. and that’s what’s important. let’s just focus on that, for now.”

eren gives you a slow nod. “it’s just you and me.”

you grace him with a sweet smile. an angelic smile.

“…i hope you know, i’m never letting you go outside the walls without me again,” eren blurts out, his grip on you getting tighter, more protective.

“if captain levi allows you to, you mean?” you give out a breathy laugh, trying to tease him a bit.

“i’ll sneak out if i have to,” eren murmurs. “i just need you to be safe.”

“you know i’m tough,” you give a little retort. “i bet i could take on a titan or two with my bare hands.”

eren gives you a small smile, his eyes still slightly watered.

“but really,” you speak softly. “you were on my mind the whole time… i’m so relieved to see you again…”

eren gives you a gentle nod, a little embarrassed by your words. “i just… wanted to make sure you were safe…”

“i feel much safer, now that you’re with me,” you happily reply, nuzzling your face against his cheek.

eren quite literally melts from your affection. your love is so gentle, so sweet, so you.

the two of you spend a moment together, just allowing the stream of the lake to flow and fill your ears. the sound of the water is gentle. yet, it flows with such strength, such resiliency and passion. it reminds you of eren.

as the two of you make the long journey back to the walls, you feel the crisp air breeze through your hair, the wind guiding through your fingertips, the rhythmic bumping and bobbing of eren’s horse. it’s absolutely freeing. you rest your head against eren’s back, holding him tightly and just allowing yourself to be absorbed in the moment.

[uroboros-if]

DEMO ✧ WEBSITE 🌿 Last updated June '23

✧UROBOROS is a 17+ fantasy interactive fiction novel written in Twine. Play as the deity of eternity, powerless and deemed useless among gods, for nothing lasts forever. A struggle between mortals and gods sparks a conflict that may bring an end to the age of the divine rule.

This game will be completely free to play in its entirety; no necessary in-game content will ever be monetized.

You are the deity of All That Lasts Forever, a being born of the Chaotic Universe and moulded in divinity. One that exists among gods of lore, with the power to change seasons, conjure great storms, and raise life from dust.

Yet, you wield no power. Nothing lasts forever.

Relegated to an errand god, you assist the god of death with the afterlife, guiding lost spirits and hearing the dead's grievances.

Life was simple; the gods weaved the starry night that mortals slept beneath, raised the sun that humans rose to and drew the tides that guided vessels along. All was peaceful.

Until someone dared to defy death.

Your investigations into a strange occurrence will lead you to know far more than you ever intended to, unravelling what may be the precursor to the collapse of the reign of gods…

An outcast among gods and mortals, you are the grey area that bridges the two, and you will decide the fate of the world. Will you side with divinity, preserving power and maintaining order? Or will you support the struggle against them, ending a long era of oppressive rule?

✧CONTENT WARNING: depictions of war, violence, and death; mentions of cannibalism (not heavily depicted). Potentially sexually suggestive themes. 🌿

✧ Play as the deity of eternity. 🌿

Though do not expect to be powerful or beloved, with nothing within your domain. Choose your own name, personality, "gender" and "sexuality".

✧ Four characters to develop deeper relationships with. 🌿

The deity of the sun, the deity of death, the deity of misfortune, and the champion of the rebellion. All with their own themes and stories. Gender selectable. Relationships can be developed platonically or romantically.

✧ A shift away from traditional numerical stats. 🌿

Focused on immersive storytelling, make decisions true to your character, and develop complex relationships with characters that are not easily quantifiable. Your choices will seal your fate, rather than your skill at stat-raising.

✧ Decide the fate of the world. 🌿

Overthrow the current order of divinity, or fight to maintain the status quo.

✧ Explore a world of mystique and wonder, of pain and misery. 🌿

A sense of loss pervades.

NOTE: Gods canonically do not have a gender; merely their mortal forms will take on a certain gender presentation, which will be selectable. 🌿

Humans have united under one rule, one civilization—Galaio (“one place”). A prosperous and thriving civilization where no one shall go hungry, forgotten or abused — free from the misery and pain of the war that tore the world in the past.

Galaio is beautiful, with cities of gold and flowers, and villages of forests and hearth. Vines hug marble pillars, and trees line the streets. The earth has humans in her loving embrace, and the humans love the gods in return.

Deities rule the humans closely, the space that once seemed vast between them now closed. They've grown wary of humans' ability to govern themselves—they must save them from themselves.

Although many are comfortable with the idyllic lives they lead, they've become oblivious to the corruption and dissidence that grows within them — sentiments that cry for change. 🌿

This list will only cover characters you can form deeper relationships with, platonic or romantic. All characters are available for everyone and are gender selectable. They are, by no means, the only important characters in the story.

✧ Salvatore, Deity of the Sun // Sal-va-to-reh

Deity of the sun, child of the ruler of the gods and the goddess of mountains. They have a smile that lights up all their features, and radiates onto others like blessed sunlight.

Vivid and cheerful, they possess a deep sense of duty to humanity, one they uphold with steadfast fervor. Always earnest in their efforts, their optimism blinds others from the burdens they bear. 🌻

✧ Luciel, Deity of Death // Loo-see-el

One of the original Twelve gods. Their serene smile is like the caress of a breeze, with the slight chill of a bitter memory.

Their kindness belies their distance, preferring to keep others at arm’s length. They seem to be absent from all matters that concern both divine and mortal beings. Yet, their mere presence brings immutable peace, one that transports you somewhere eternally beautiful and free. 🪷

✧ Ciocana, Deity of Misfortune // Show-sah-na

Deity of misfortune and suffering, child of the deity of natural disasters and the goddess of the moon and stars. Their smile is charming and practiced, yet the corners of their mouth twist with mischief.

Plagued by the role of their own existence, they manage to maintain their confidence and quick-witted charms, masking their deeply embittered spirit. Though other gods take care to keep their distance from them, this appears to bother them little. 🥀

✧ Alessi, The Champion // Al-ess-ee

The champion to free humanity from the reign of gods, child to human parents. Their easygoing smile is magnetic, inviting others to take a closer look like moth to fire.

A natural leader, they are deeply attuned to the suffering of others and passionate about their cause. However, hidden beneath their friendliness is a righteous fury that consumes them from the inside and threatens to swallow their heart whole. 🌼

MASSIVE THANKS TO LenokaArt for the cover art!

THANK YOU to my amazing partner for the headers :DDD 🌿

[randombook4idk]

"Your ship isn't canon!!"

And? That's the point. You think I don't look at their non-canon status and don't see a goldmine for angst potential thanks to this? You think I'm weeping, but I'm rubbing my hands like a greedy little man, thinking up scenarios to make others cry.

"They don't get together." Maybe that's the point, Jerry. The tragedy of the "what if" - not knowing what road their love story could have taken, but knowing the chance of it blooming in the first place is forever lost. Or maybe it isn't and it takes many years to see the chance once again and this time not losing it. Or maybe losing again-

Creating a story where they do get together is understandable and isn't this awful thing that should be forbiden, but sometimes embracing the non-canon status isn't that bad. Sometimes I want to create a story where instead of getting together, I explore the love and how it affects the characters.

Unrequited love, one sided love, falling in love after it's too late, denial of feelings etc. You name it and I want to explore it.

Canon ships can't provide me that. Them being non-canon isn't well...canon. It can exist in one fanfic but they're still canon.

Not all love stories between characters, who were or weren't canonically in love, not ending up are automatically bad. Non canon ships can also tell a story. And I'm not just talking about well known, popular non-canon ships btw. This includes lesser know ships and crackships as well.

Sometimes I like a ship and them not being canon is the point.

[bitethedevil]

Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 15

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Raphael continues showing Tav his true colors. The 24 hours are coming to an end and Tav must soon make a hard decision, that only seems to grow more and more difficult, the more she learns.

(AN: You are in for a ride, my dudes. Also, I think we have two chapters left until this whole thing is wrapped up. Read the full notes on AO3 for more info)

WARNINGS: Gore, Blood, Abusive Behaviour, Mention of Death, Mention of Child Abuse, Mention of Child Death, Mention of Domestic Abuse, Torture

Raphael woke her up way too early for her liking. He let her eat breakfast before they went anywhere. She was quiet while she ate, trying to wake up and keep her eyes open, much to Raphael’s amusement. He had the servants bring her a strong cup of tea, which did help a little.

“Can you reveal what we are doing today?” she asked and sipped the tea. “Or is it going to be some kind of horrible surprise?”

“I can reveal what we are doing in a moment,” he said. “Though I will ask you to remember our agreement when I tell you. If you interfere, you will be sent back to Baldur’s Gate.”

She looked at him over the cup with tired eyes.

“Not sure I like the sound of that,” she sighed. “But fine…”

“We will meet a potential client of mine. Unlike the woman you met yesterday, this man is a noble, though he is just as desperate for my help.”

The mention of the woman they met the day before made her stomach churn. She would most likely already be dead. Her children would soon find her lifeless body in her bed and their lives would change forever. Tav had to push the thought aside. Though she was an adult when it happened, she clearly remembered the day that she became an orphan herself. It hurt too much to think about.

Raphael continued explaining.

“He is a lord who has lost his wife and his only heir. The other noble houses of Athkatla refuse to marry any of their daughters to him. Without a new wife and an heir, his house will perish.”

Tav nodded.

“There is some awful detail that I’m missing, I’m sure of it,” Tav said and narrowed her eyes at him.

“It is said that Lord Ophal beat his former young wife to death in a fit of rage,” Raphael explained with a smirk. “The same fate befell his son shortly after, who was only ten years old at the time. It is said the child cried after the death of its mother, as children do. Lord Ophal beat him regularly and had healers on hand for that reason, but it seems that he went one step too far due to his irritation at the child’s crying. Or so the rumors say.”

Tav’s jaw fell, and it felt as if she had been stabbed in the heart.

“And what will your role in all of this be?” she asked quietly, though she had already guessed the answer.

“To procure him a new wife, of course,” he answered casually. “I happen to know a few of the noble families in Athkatla, and if he does sign, I will pull a few strings to ensure that one of those families will happily hand over their young daughter to him.”

Tav was staring at the table in front of her with an empty stare.

“This is too personal to be a coincidence, Raphael,” she muttered. “Are you really so eager to get rid of me that you will make me watch as you help a bastard that is just like my father? He won’t stop. He’ll do the same to his new wife and children.”

“Indeed, he will,” he answered with a chuckle at her naïve statement. “But he won’t do so before he has handed me his soul, which is all that matters, really. I am not eager to get rid of you, I am simply showing you the reality of what I do and who I am.”

Tav went quiet again. She shook her head and breathed deeply.

“Will he suffer?” she asked. “When he dies, I mean.”

“Of course.”

She nodded. In a way it did not matter. This would have happened even if she was not there. It did not make it easier in any way and a part of her did hate Raphael for it in that moment. On the other hand, by Raphael doing this, the man would face certain suffering in his afterlife. A fate that might not be ensured if he did not sign the deal. Men like him deserved to suffer.

“Shall we go?” he asked and held out a hand to her.

She reluctantly took it.

They appeared in a large ornate room with a big table in the middle. At the end of it sat a heavyset man with a red face, stuffing his face with food the way that only people who have never lacked it do. He stopped chewing only for a moment to look up at Raphael and her. His eyes lingered at her.

“Lord Ophal,” Raphael greeted with a charming smile. “This is a business associate of mine. Please do not mind her.”

“Raphael,” the man greeted back. “Business associate, eh?”

The man licked his greasy lips as he looked her up and down. Raphael’s grip tightened around her waist.

“Good for you, devil,” Lord Ophal said with a laugh. “She is rather pretty, I suppose. Except for those scars on her face. Play a little rough with her, eh? I don’t blame you. The pretty ones are always the mouthiest.”

Tav took the deepest breath of her life to not throw a fireball at his face. She also knew that despite Raphael’s outward appearance of calm, he did not take kindly to the comment. She could feel it in the way his breathing changed and the way his grip tightened even more around her.

“I would advise you to remember who you are speaking to,” Raphael said with eerie calmness. “Let us focus on business.”

“Apologies Saer,” the man grunted and continued stuffing his face. “Did you find me a new wife?”

“There are a few potential candidates, to go through,” Raphael answered and sat down beside him.

The two men talked for a while. Her dislike for Lord Ophal only grew with the way he was talking about those young women as if they were objects for his amusement. It took everything for her to bite her tongue, and especially at the hungry looks the lord looked at her with every now and again.

In the end, the lord decided to sign the deal. Raphael was smiling like the cat that got the cream as he did.

“And from the moment that you are a married man, our deal is in effect,” Raphael explained.

“You are invited to the ceremony if you have the time, Saer,” Lord Ophal said with a bright smile. “You can bring your little woman there too, if you please.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, my lord Saer,” Raphael said and smiled widely.

Lord Ophal might not have detected the hint of a threat in his voice, but Tav did.

He snapped and they were back at the House of Hope.

“My apologies,” Raphael said, he was still calm but there were anger and disgust hiding just beneath the surface. “Had I known that the imbecile would disrespect you and I in such a manner, I would not have brought you. I will remember this little show of disrespect once I get my hands on his soul.”

Tav knew better than to speak to him when he was in a mood like that. The line was drawn at personal insults…not child murder, or wife killing, apparently. She sat down as she waited for the storm to pass. She thought as she watched him.

Raphael was enabling murderers and abusers, and that was still difficult to feel at peace with. On the other hand, they would also one day get what was coming to them, delivered to them in tenfold. The problem was that such was also the fate of desperate innocents, such as the mother she had met the day before.

There was a part of her that had a difficult time blaming Raphael alone though. These people had all made a choice. A horrible and unfair choice, but a choice regardless. Raphael had never forced anyone, and as he had said the day before: if he did not help them, then who would? Tav was not sure what to think.

Raphael eventually calmed down, though she could still feel that he was irritated. He took her hand to lead her somewhere. When she realized that he was leading her to the hatch that led down into Hope’s old cell, her blood ran cold. They were going to visit Cassius...

The room was dark and damp. She could only see the faint outline of something hanging in the middle of the room. Raphael led her by the hand to a chair. He sat down first and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her to his lap. He ran his hand up and down her side in a comforting manner, though nothing about it was comforting. She felt like a lamb being calmed before slaughter.

When he lit up the room with a snap, the hand held her in a grip so that she could not run. She did feel like running when she saw him. Cassius was suspended in air by his Infernal chains. In contrary to when they saved Hope, the injuries that he had inflicted on Cassius were very apparent.

The chains had ripped up his arms, as it looked like he had been struggling to get free. There were wounds underneath the chains that flies buzzed around, eating at the dark rotten-looking flesh. He stared emptily at nothing in particular with his wide eyes. His mouth was open, but no screams came out, just wheezing. Blood was dripping in a steady stream from his mouth.

It was a horrifying sight. She instinctively looked away.

“You see, right here,” Raphael said calmly and put his free hand on her throat to feel for where her vocal cords would be. “When you speak, your vocal cords constrict to form sounds. Cassius’s are currently pried open by a very small and very sharp device. He is also experiencing his worst nightmares over and over again in his mind, more vividly than ever, while he cannot scream without injuring himself.”

Tav’s breathing had gotten faster, and she looked at Raphael’s face.

“I don’t want to see this,” she said quietly.

“But you will,” he answered with a smile. “We had a deal, did we not? Do you feel sorry for him? The man that almost got your friends and you killed.”

Tav didn’t answer. She could still hear Cassius’s wheezing breaths and she did not dare to look at his dead and empty stare again.

“I suppose feeling some sympathy is only natural,” Raphael mused. “You and him do have one thing in common, after all…”

Raphael put a hand behind her head and turned it to look at Cassius. She tried to turn away, but his grip did not allow it.

“Stop…please,” she pleaded.

Something was going on in Cassius’s mind that made him squirm in his chains. She saw him trying to pull his arms to himself and escape. She saw the flesh of his right arm rip as he pulled, and the bone was exposed underneath. His eyes were panicked, and the blood flowed faster from his mouth as he tried to scream. She closed her eyes.

“Open your eyes, or I will send you back,” Raphael said and placed his chin on her shoulder as he kept her close to him in his grip.

She had started to tear up, but she did as she was told.

“Good girl,” Raphael said. “As I said, the two of you have one thing in common. Cassius loved me too, the naïve boy. Were it not for his jealousy, none of us would be here at this moment.”

She could not tear her eyes from the way his arms were tearing at the chains. She could not imagine the level of fear one would have to experience to do so much damage to one’s own body just to escape.

“I humored him of course. He was a decent replacement for Haarlep for a while and I found his puppylike infatuation with me somewhat endearing. His main mistake was not getting out of the way once my interest in him faltered.”

Tav yelped as Cassius pulled one of his arms free. His hand fell to the floor, mostly degloved and only a stump of bone was left where his hand had been. He was choking on his own blood as he tried to scream, with the same empty panicked look in his eyes.

“He was stubborn, naïve, and so certain that if he only tried hard enough, he could make me love him back. A foolish endeavor, really.”

There was a flash of magic, and Cassius was back in his chains, healed and put together just enough that he would not die. Tav looked on in horror.

“Please stop—"

“Though you know all about foolish endeavors, don’t you, my sweet?” Raphael continued, ignoring her pleas. “The two of you are the same. The only difference is that I do love you, in my way, and I never cared much for poor Cassius. However, who can say for how long? My interests are ever fleeting and even when I might change my mind someday, you will still be mine.”

Tav began struggling against Raphael’s grip and there was no doubt that he could feel it. Instead of letting her go he simply tightened his grip and kissed her neck and shoulders lazily.

“You can ask Cassius how much loving me is truly worth then,” he whispered cruelly in her ear.

“Please…let this be over.”

Tav had seen many horrible things throughout her adventure, but never so up close and never had she been so unable to do anything about it. It was also different because it was someone, she knew who was getting tortured. She didn’t like Cassius, but he never deserved this. No one did.

“It will be over soon,” he said and rubbed the part of her neck that he was holding in a soothing motion. “Though I think it would only be fair that Cassius greets his guest himself.”

Raphael snapped and Cassius seemed to leave the trance he was in. His body went slack in relief. His head fell and his chin rested on his chest. He finally closed his eyes for a moment. He was breathing more normally now, and a whine left his lips, so Tav gathered that the device between his vocal cords had been removed.

“Look who came to see you,” Raphael called out to him. “A familiar face that isn’t mine for once.”

He flinched at Raphael’s voice. He slowly looked up. His expression reminded her of a scared animal that is expecting to get a beating. When his yellow eyes finally locked unto hers, they turned from fear to pure unadulterated hatred.

“You,” he said in a barely audible hoarse voice. “Of course it’s fucking you.”

Tav hesitantly opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off.

“This is your fault…” he said with anger, his hoarse voice cracking. “You ruined my life…”

He was not wrong, though Tav had no other choice when it happened. She had handed the blame to him when Raphael had come home and confronted her and her friends. Cassius was to blame, but if she had known this would happen to him, she might have…

She wouldn’t have. She knew that was the truth. Had it happened now she would have done the same thing, though she loathed to admit it. She still felt pity and guilt when she looked at him.

He was just a young man, perhaps a few years younger than herself. The fool had had been in love with his patron, and he had done stupid things because of it. If that wasn’t something she could sympathize with, then what was?

“I’m…” Tav began. She knew there was no way any words could make up for it. “I’m so sorry.”

Cassius narrowed his tearful eyes at her in disgust. Raphael chuckled behind her.

“Are you now?” Raphael said. “Are you truly sorry that you saved your friends? Would you rather that it be you in his place?”

“I’m sorry about what you have done to him. I didn’t want this,” she said quietly. “You would not have treated me this way. Don’t act like you would.”

“No? Perhaps not,” Raphael purred in her ear. “Though I think you would be surprised the lengths I would go to when someone hurts my feelings. Did you think that it did not anger me that you wanted to leave? After everything I did for you. I was furious. I burned down half of the house in rage after you left.”

Tav had heard that from Korrilla too.

“I took out my frustrations on poor Cassius after. What he had done was no doubt stupid, but had the circumstances been different, I would not have punished him as severely as I have. Mistakes happen. The poor boy only tried to help, after all…I think I must have brought him back from the brink of death and healed him over a hundred times that night you left…”

Cassius was listening to what he was saying too. He was thrashing against his chains while he looked at Tav like a man with murder on his mind. There was nothing but hatred in his eyes.

“I’ll kill you if I ever get the chance,” Cassius said with gritted teeth. “I’LL KILL YOU LIKE I SHOULD HAVE DONE THE FIRST TIME YOU—”

Raphael snapped his fingers and Cassius went quiet and limp against his chains. Raphael finally let go of his grip around the back of her neck. She looked away immediately. She was shaking in his arms. When she looked up at him, she could see that he was enjoying the whole situation.

She was quiet. She had nothing to say to him. The whole room had turned quiet after he had put Cassius to sleep. She felt an emptiness in her chest. She felt sadness and anger at how everything had turned out. Most of all she felt exhausted, emotionally and physically after what she had just experienced.

“So,” Raphael said through the sudden quietness that had fallen upon the dungeon and brushed away a strand of her hair. “Will you want to scurry back to Baldur’s Gate immediately, or will you want to use the last couple of hours to consider your decision before you do? I suspect that this day has at the very least made you hesitate with your firm decision of staying. Am I wrong?”

Tav felt that familiar hatred of him boiling up inside herself again. Obviously for what he did, but also for how he was acting about this whole thing. How aloof he was. How little he seemed to care about everything, when she had seen with her own two eyes that he was capable of caring. She hated how that part of him was always hidden behind all his pride, his games, his bullshit…

That hatred made her see clearly for a moment. She had a realization. That was it. She knew exactly how Raphael worked: he played games. She was going to use her hatred for all it was worth.

“No,” she said coldly and wiped her tears. She could see something in his eyes change, just as she expected. “No, you might be right. I was too naïve to see it…You are an awful person. A monster who is incapable of love…And perhaps also undeserving of it.”

He was holding his perfect façade of calmness, but she could see the slight panic in his eyes. She was going off-script.

“Perhaps it was not only me who was in the right place before I took the stupid decision to come here,” she said with a bitter laugh. “Perhaps you were as well. Rotting in the Hells, alone, as you always have been, with your only company being the shadows that you look for over your shoulder…forever waiting for the next one of your kin to try to kill you, while you grasp for some semblance of control by playing with the lives of people like Cassius and I.”

His eyes narrowed at her when she got up from his lap to walk away.

“Even if I might not be able to love you, I always will pity you, Raphael,” she said quietly. “Now, I think I’d like some privacy to think before I make my decision.”

“As you wish,” he said curtly.

His short response surprised her. She had at least expected a clever retort. She threw him one last glance before making her way out of the dungeon. She caught him swallowing hard and averting his gaze to the floor when she looked at him. She knew that her words had an effect on him, though he did everything to hide it from her. She left him there and went upstairs.

He had detected no lies in what she was saying, because all of it was truth. Perhaps it was only convenient truths, in the same way that he himself liked to deceive people, but still truths. Although all of what she had said did not necessarily mean that she did not still love him.

Her realization had been correct, and she had just proven it: he was bluffing. He did not want her to leave, but he was trying to use her stubbornness against her. He had once done the same when he tried to convince her that it would be the end of the world as we knew it, if a certain orthon escaped the temple of Shar. She fell for it back then, but she would not fall for it now.

Raphael was not a stupid man by any means, but he was awfully predictable once someone had learned all his tricks. He wanted to show her the worst version of himself and then have the cruel victory of her still choosing him despite of it.

She truly was not sure what to do after everything she had seen, but she would be damned if her decision was going to be dependent on what he wanted her to do.

It would be her choice in the end, no matter what.