#crowley's secret is safe for another day

[pomefioredove]

Ngl I want a sequel to bad ending 'yuu gets sold' series

Cause imagine the boys go to NBC just to find out that yuu is actuality doing great, better than great, even better than the time they were doing in NRC

I like to think that Rollo is legitimate a nice person when you remove the hatred over magic type of stuff

He deffo makes sure that yuu is well fed and clean (let's be honest, not something that yuu always has in NRC) plus treat yuu greatly

rollo fans who are starving since everyone stopped talking about him after november I'm here for you. I see you. take my hand

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | 'bad' ending

summary: yuu transfers to NBC type of post: fic characters: rollo my beloved additional info: yuu is gender neutral, implied romantic ^_^

It had been a long six months for everyone at Night Raven College.

The departure- and subsequent absence- of their beloved Ramshackle prefect was very much felt.

Days were longer, nights were darker, the first year class itself felt empty.

"At least they're not dead," was the consensus.

Of course, you continued to communicate with your friends- it wasn't like you completely dropped off the map, although Noble Bell College had a stricter policy about phone usage.

You even sent some letters back and forth, yours filled with updates and mementos, theirs with pictures of all you'd left behind.

Did you miss NRC?

Well...

You missed your friends.

But Crowley? The overblots? Being everyone's personal therapist?

...Yeah. You could live without that.

Noble Bell College may have been more exclusive, and more strict in their code of conduct, but it was more peaceful, too. Smaller, less students, and much less reliance on magic, so that you and Grim could be whole students independent of one another.

The curriculum was much different than NRC's. Less of an emphasis on a personal connection to magic, and more on tradition, ritual, and history. There were few times when you'd have to sit out a class, or watch your friends have fun from the sidelines.

If anything, Rollo made a point of including you.

A part of it may have been personal pride- after all, he just couldn't resist showing you how much better he is.

But he also had a vague idea about how stressful your life at NRC really was, and how isolated you felt, despite being surrounded by people. It was his duty, in a sense, to rectify that.

Even if it meant you had to sit through his lectures and recitations of the traditional magic laws.

...Though, even with his intense adherence to tradition and structure, he made quite a show of being kind to you.

Despite his best efforts to claim fairness and righteousness, it was no secret to anyone that he favored you. You quickly became the only person he spent his free time with (not that he was particularly social in the first place...)

And... it was nice. Is nice.

He holds himself to high standards, and expects that of others; he's cold, harsh when he feels it necessary, and repressed in all ways imaginable.

And yet... well, there's no sabotage, no swindling, no scamming, no manipulation to make petty ends meet.

Rollo, as a person, is both confusingly complex and reassuringly simple. You know as much. He sticks to routine, to rules, to tradition. He's diligent in every sense of the word, and highly respected because of it.

And when the eyes of the other students are turned away, he treats you with a sort of gentleness that you'd become wholly unfamiliar with at NRC. Like a porcelain doll, like something precious he desires to wrap in cotton and silk and store somewhere safe.

You wonder if his behavior towards you is at all connected to the very reason he risked his status bringing you here in the first place... but you don't dwell too long. He's as mysterious as anything.

When your former classmates come to visit over break, it's like they're meeting an entirely different person.

"Happy to see us, eh? You're like, glowing," Ace smirks.

Deuce elbows him in the ribs for that comment. "What he meant is that you look great. I mean, really! You've been sleeping more?"

You nod. "Lots, yeah,"

"Weird, I woulda guessed they'd been working you to the bone. This place is all "no funny business", right?" Ace shakes his head.

You laugh, walking alongside your former fellow first years in the streets of Fleur City, the very ones you'd become so accustomed to in recent months.

"I've actually been doing well with my studies. I think I've finally decided what I want to do after graduation,"

"Oh, that's great!" Deuce says. A lengthy pause follows, much to your confusion- it's as if everyone has something they want to say, but won't be the first to say it.

Epel clears his throat. "You been 'doin alright?"

"Um... yeah. I have,"

"Cause... you know, if anyone was giving you trouble, we'd give 'em what for!"

You chuckle. "I'm fine, really. People here are pretty nice..."

Again, that same silence follows. Epel, Deuce, and Ace look between each other, as if daring the other to say the next thing.

This time, you take the initiative.

"Listen. If this is about Rollo, he's fine. I'm fine. He's been nothing but helpful,"

The tense silence breaks and Ace sighs, shaking his head. "You can't blame us for being worried,"

"I mean, this whole situation has been really shady. Everyone at NRC has been worried sick..." Deuce says. "We just wanted to make sure..."

You smile. "I appreciate it, but you really don't have to send in a rescue party. I've been... I've been really good. Happy. And I miss you guys to pieces, but I've felt closer to home here than anywhere else. Does that sound strange?"

A short pause follows. Deuce is the first to speak, his voice sounding strained. "Not at all. We just want you to be happy,"

You can tell he's trying really hard to sound positive. Epel, on the other hand, doesn't sugarcoat anything.

"You really won't come back with us?"

You smile again, though this one is wholly apologetic. "No, I don't think so,"

The three are quiet for another moment, and then seem to drop the subject. The rest of their stay goes by smoothly, even with all the strained moments where you can tell they have something to ask. You assume they've already figured out the answer.

The day trip is over by sundown and you return to campus just before curfew, taking a seat in one of the cozy (though currently empty) lounges by a familiar face.

"They're gone?" Rollo asks, not bothering to look up from the textbook he's perusing.

You watch him carefully, and think it's best not to mention you friend's attempt to bring you back with them.

"Yes, they're gone. We had fun, nothing happened,"

"Good," he says. A brief silence follows before he speaks again. "I do trust you. But-"

"You don't trust them. I understand. If I were you, I suppose I wouldn't, either. But I'm fine,"

"When are they coming back?"

"Two months. They're taking the weekend. Might bring some other people,"

Rollo hums a note of acknowledgment, fingers rolling around the pen in his right hand. The book is still open, though he's looking ahead now. His face is flushed.

You know he's unhappy with it, but he won't say anything. You're grateful he likes you enough to let you rub elbows with people he despises. Especially after all that's happened...

He stands, closing the book. "Very well. Let me know what day so that I may adequately prepare myself. Good night. Be safe,"

And with that, he takes his leave.

Ever distant. Ever polite. One might mistake the way he speaks for coldness or resentment if you weren't so familiar with his mannerisms by now.

You turn to look into the lounge fireplace behind you, watching the flames flicker and die until all that remains are soft, glowing embers, the same shade of red that burns on his cheeks when you look at him.

[holylulusworld]

The inventor

Summary: You try to make the hunter’s life easier.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x GN!Reader

Warnings: crack!fic, fun, grumpy Dean

A/N: I saw the idea with a hula-hoop on social media and had to turn it into a fic.

“I got a new idea!” You exclaim as you run inside the library. Since Dean and Sam saved you from a werewolf and took you in, you try to help them. You are their research buddy and their personal inventor.

“Not again,” Dean groans. He rolls his eyes as you carry your invention book, your laptop, and a plastic bag filled with God knows inside the library. “I try to drink in silence. Please don’t let anything explode again.”

“Oopsie!” You giggle. “Dean, that was an accident. It was your fault, though. You tickled me, and I dropped the liquid fire I invented.”

“You didn’t invent anything, Y/N!” Dean mutters under his breath. He wanted to celebrate another successful hunt with booze and watching porn. Now you are placing a construction plan in front of him. “What's this again?”

“A salt-filled hula-hoop ring! You know, like a salt ring, but you can carry it around because it’s inside a hula-hoop!” You excitedly tell Dean about your newest invention. “You can put it around a person and keep them safe from ghosts while you gank the monster. “Oh, it will work with demons too.”

Dean snorts. “I don’t think this will work. The hula-hoop will weaken the effect. We don’t put a box of salt in front of a person to protect them, either.”

“But—” You harrumph. Dean just had to ruin yet another idea to improve their hunting arsenal. “A box is not the same as a hula-hoop!”

“I won’t carry that thing around.” Dean points at the construction plan. “We will stick to salt rings.”

“Water—wind—spit. Anything can break a salt ring, but not my hula-hoop salt ring!” You won’t give up. “Maybe we can try it out on the next hunt! OR WAIT!!!” You gasp as the next idea floods your mind. “Let’s summon Crowley. We can check if he can break the salt ring!”

“No.” Dean cuts you off. “This is not handy, and just stupid!”

“Your face is stupid!” You grab your construction plan and storm out of the library, cursing Dean’s birth.

“SAMMY!” You’re panting while chasing after Sam. He tried to enter the library for research, and now you are hot on his heels. “What do you think about wearing silver rings on every finger to punch werewolves and ghouls in the face? I could make you some. Maybe secret compartment rings. I can put salt inside.”

“You want us to wear rings on every finger? We can’t do anything with rings on our fingers. What if we want to shoot a werewolf, and the huge secret compartment rings get in our way?”

You sigh. Damnit. You worked on the first ring for days and didn’t think about using a gun while wearing it. A fine inventor you are…

“How about car mats with a devil’s trap? This way, no demon can enter your car,” you proudly point at Baby stand in the garage. “That’s a good idea, right?”

“Uh—I hate to tell you so, but we already have a devil’s trap painted to the roof of the trunk. And trust me, no dirty demon will enter my car on my watch.”

You purse your lips. “Fine, let any demon sneak into your car, Winchester.” You storm off, cursing loudly as you decide to never help them again.

“DEAN! I got an idea!” You run inside the kitchen, a water gun in your hands. “LOOK! A water gun filled with holy water and some salt!” You grin proudly. This is it, the idea of the century. Even Dean must see this is the only way to defeat demons.

“Hmm…” He grumbles. Dean eyes the colorful water gun. He shakes his head and turns to walk out of the kitchen. “That looks like Barbie’s gun. I won’t use it.”

“I can spray it black,” you offer. “It will look cool. Dean! Wait!” You chase after Dean, determined to convince him to use the water gun from now on. “It will work!”

“Nope,” he shrugs when you tell him he’s a jerk. “I won’t use your toy gun. Just stop inventing shit.”

“One day, I will invent something to shrink your dick!” You yell after Dean, making him chuckle. “You’ll see Winchester. One day you will wake up and whimper, oh no, my dick is tiny, and I need a magnifying glass to find it!”

Dean laughs while walking toward the library. You follow him, telling the hunter how much better all your inventions would make his life.

“If you invent something to turn dust into a pie, I’m game.” He grins when you look at him with glassy eyes. Dean wants you to invent something.

“I’ll turn every dust mouse into the most delicious pie!” You exclaim before storming out of the library. “You’ll beg me to give you a slice.”

Dean watches you leave the library; he cocks a brow, wondering if you can turn dirt into a pie.

Tags in reblog.

[di-42]

Apology of Aziraphale

Like for many of us, Good Omens has been an almost constant thought since when I watched season 2. Like many of us, I'm heartbroken and I need to make sense of something that appears to be senseless. Why were we led to believe we were in a much safer, if, admittedly, slightly less eventful, place for the whole season only to have our hearts mauled and our precious, peaceful  fragile existences turned upside down in the last 10 minutes?

So, like many of us, I immersed myself in fanart, fanfiction, more characters analysis than I can count and different interpretation pieces to try and make sense of it all and attempt to make it to season 3 (or the promised book, if it all goes horribly wrong) with some of my sanity left.

Although I am sure there must be analysis that read the (in)famous last 10 minutes the way I do -because I CAN'T be the only one- I am yet to read any.

So, though I'm no writer, I thought someone had to play, well, the Angel's advocate.

For the sake of brevity, I'm not going to consider the coffee theory, the body swap theory, the theories that see the Metatron offer as a genuine offer or the theories that see Aziraphale as a power-hungry angel (I mean, COME ON!)

The theories I'm going to confute here are the Aziraphale-still-thinks-heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory, the Aziraphale-hasn't-recovered-from-his-religious-trauma theory, the Aziraphale-wants-to-do-the-right-thing-even-if-it-means-sacrificing-his-own-happiness theory and the Aziraphale-is-lying-to-keep-Crowley-safe theory.

I do wholeheartedly agree with the theory that has the Metatron make an either, direct or indirect threat to Crowley's very existence were Aziraphale not to go to heaven. I believe this would be the only possible explanation for Aziraphale's choice, only not in the way it's been talked about so far.

It would also explain the narrative device of us (the audience) be shown the conversation between Aziraphale and the Metatron only through Aziraphale's recount of it. Not that it needs an explanation other than "we wanted to do it like that and if you don't like it you're at liberty to go". But still.

 Aziraphale-still-thinks-heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory

Good Omens is a story about Faith. Aziraphale is an Angel of Faith. Aziraphale has nothing but Faith. Aziraphale's Faith is unshakable. Going by what we are shown in season 2, Aziraphale's Faith lies entirely in Crowley. "I knew you would come through for me. You always do". In season one we see that he's not quite there yet up until just before the almost Armageddon and in the scenes set in the past his reactions at Crowley coming to the rescue are more "I was hoping but not assuming" rather than plain, confident Faith.

But in season 2 we are shown a different Angel. Someone, in another post, suggested that the minisodes in season 2 are in fact Aziraphale's memories, so we see them from his present day POV. I don't know if it's the case but it would make much sense as we see that Faith, that blind trust in Crowley that Aziraphale acquires during/just after almostgeddon in those minisodes. The whole season is shouting at us "The Angel trusts the Demon with his life! The Angel trusts the Demon with the humans' lives! With children's lives! The Angel trusts the Demon with his secrets, the Angel trusts the Demon with his bookshop, the Angel trusts the Demon with his magic tricks! The Angel trusts the Demon completely, blindly, unquestionably."Are you sure, angel?" "Yes, quite sure"; "I'm getting the humans out of here and then I'm coming back. I won't leave you on your own" "I know"; "I knew you would come through for me. You always do.".

Where does Heaven-is-good-and-can-be-fixed theory come into play in this? It doesn't. Aziraphale has all but forgotten heaven. He doesn't need it. It has been shown to Aziraphale, over and over, that heaven is not better than hell. Heaven is a distant, unpleasant memory of the past. It can be scary but it's certainly not where his Faith lies, certainly not something he sees as good, hasn't for a long time. Aziraphale is not a soldier of the army of Truth, Aziraphale is a heroic deserter of the army of Deception. "I've made my position quite clear". I believe we would be doing Aziraphale a great disservice if we quietly accepted that the Metatron's speech changed that quite clear position in a matter of minutes (or hours, or years, for that matters). If nothing else, I believe NG loves his and TP's child too much to set him back to a place where he thinks heaven is good and can be fixed.

So: Aziraphale thinks heaven is bad and can't be fixed.

Aziraphale-hasn't-recovered-from-his-religious-trauma theory

And thinks he can't love Crowley freely on Earth because that would be a sin. But he could love Crowley of a heavenly love were Crowley to become an Angel and that's why he let the Metatron convince him to return to heaven and take Crowley with him. He and Crowley can be together and be safe.

Have we watched the same series? Aziraphale is so ready! He's happily out on the other side waiting for Crowley to join him! I honestly think his arch regarding this is complete. He is a different character to the one we were introduced to at the beginning (and before the beginning, too), he's done the learning and the growing and HE. IS. READY.

Look at how comfortable he is when Crowley is around, look at his body language. Look at the way he looks at Crowley, well, always, but just to mention a few scenes: the apology dance, Crowley talking to Muriel about love; "smitten, I believe" and my favourite: the way Aziraphale looks at Crowley when Crowley mentions Alpha Centauri to Gabriel and Belzebub. Micheal-the-king-of-all-the-wild-acting-Sheen manages to makes his pupils dilate and tell us what Aziraphale is telling Crowley: "you are talking to me and I know you are talking to me. And I am ready. You just watch me pack my best waistcoats and we can be in Alpha Centauri tonight. I'll miracle an orchestra just so that you can invite me to dance and you'd better invite me to dance this time. I'll stare into your eyes for eternity and I'll kiss you and I'll love you like no one has ever loved before. And as soon as this lot is gone I'll tell you that because I. Am. So. Ready".

Aziraphale-wants-to-do-the-right-thing-even-if-it-means-sacrificing-his-own-happiness theory

Aziraphale senses that something is wrong and thinks that the only way to avoid disaster for humanity is an act of sabotage from the inside.

I believe this could be true to an extent (though I'm hoping to see something more dramatic that an act of sabotage) but I don't see it being the reason why he accepts the offer. It appears that Aziraphale learns about the Second Coming only after everything was said and done with Crowley and besides, didn't they manage to avoid Armageddon once before, the two of them together, from Earth? And if this was the reason he's accepting the offer, why hurt Crowley so badly? Aziraphale knows that Crowley won't go back to heaven, he knows that suggesting he be turned back into an Angel must be insulting, does he really believe this to be the best way to handle the situation? The Metatron might have been watching, someone will say but still, why hurt Crowley so much? He loves Crowley, he trusts him, did he really need to punch so low just to make him understand the gravity of the situation? It almost looked as he was deliberately trying to drive him away.

Which leads us to...

Aziraphale-is-lying-to-keep-Crowley-safe theory

This theory is the closest to what I believe happened in that it's based on the threat theory. The Metatron threatens Something Terrible will happen to Crowley unless Aziraphale goes back to heaven for good. Being erased from The Book Of Life comes to mind. That would of course be an ongoing, eternal threat to live under. Aziraphale can take Crowley to heaven as well, it doesn't really matter. If Crowley accepts, he will be reinstated as an angel so as not to cause too much trouble. If Crowley declines, it's just as well in the Metatron's eyes.

I'm not sure whether the Metatron really believes Aziraphale to be naive and easily manipulated or if he's having to make do with plan B given that (in my personal opinion) heaven doesn't actually have the Book Of Life and therefore can't take more drastic measures against Aziraphale and Crowley.

According to this theory, Aziraphale lies to Crowley as to what the real reason is of him accepting the offer. If he told the truth, Aziraphale knows Crowley will try and stop him,  will insist on running away together. Crowley won't care about the threat: the only way to keep Crowley safe is to hurt him, to break his heart.

Aziraphale knows that freedom is more important than safety for Crowley. Always going his own way, always asking questions.

Crowley WOULD tell the Metatron where to stick it.

Aziraphale knows that Crowley would always put freedom above safety. We have known Crowley for roughly 500 pages and 12 42-to-60 minute episodes and we know it, Aziraphale has known Crowley for over 6000 years, surely he must know too.

Except...

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

Crowley would always put freedom above his own safety.

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

But what would Crowley do once the penny dropped and he realised that he wouldn't be the only one in danger? That Aziraphale would be under threat too if he refused to go to heaven?

"I knew you would come through for me. You always do".

Crowley wouldn't allow any danger to come to Aziraphale and Aziraphale knows it only too well. Would Crowley just accept to part ways without the heartbreak, if he knew about the threat? If he knew this was the only real reason of Aziraphale "accepting" the offer? Would Crowley accept to part ways, knowing that Aziraphale is sacrificing everything? Knowing that Aziraphale would always be in danger anyway, no matter what? I believe Aziraphale thinks Crowley wouldn't just leave him. "I knew you would come through for me. You always do". 

I believe Aziraphale thinks, and I with him, that Crowley would hang his head low and follow Aziraphale to heaven, admitting defeat. 

I believe that over his dead, discorporated, erased from The Book Of Life body, would Aziraphale let that happen. Crowley, who gifted humanity with the ability to tell good from evil and the freedom to choose between the two, reduced to be an angel again at the mercy of heaven, deprived of free will. Aziraphale won't allow that. 

Aziraphale is not lying to keep Crowley safe. He's lying to keep Crowley free.

What Aziraphale will do is being the hero we always knew he was going to be. What Aziraphale will do is gifting Crowley the freedom he didn't know he was about to lose.

What Aziraphale will do is telling Crowley he's one of the bad guys but he can be turned good again and be second in command in heaven, nonetheless. The side of Truth, of Light. Aziraphale will listen to Crowley saying things that don't bear listening to right now and he will look at Crowley in the eye and tell him that nothing lasts forever. He will utter the words "I forgive you" after a kiss he has been longing for, for so long. He will break Crowley's heart and his own in the process but he'll make sure Crowley keeps his freedom, be that the last thing he does.

I believe that if we, the audience, had any doubt as to which side Aziraphale chooses, then we really weren't paying attention for the last 6000 years. 

I believe now it will be time for Crowley to complete his arch and do the growing and the learning. Wonderful, brave, generous, compassionate, wounded Crowley. He said "trust me", Crowley. He said "trust me".

But Angel, oh Angel. You, just like Crowley, mean so much to us. Oh, the magic of storytelling! You both really do mean so much to so many of us and we just want to take your hand and tell you that everything will be ok in the end. 

But there's sorrow on the way and pain and loneliness. And possibly another Armageddon to prevent.

But Angel, oh Angel. Don't lose your Faith. Ultimately, you do know it, do you not?

You know he will come through for you. He always does.

[aylacavebear]

Soulmates? Yeah, right, pft. - Ch. 25

When you turn sixteen, and your soulmate's name doesn’t appear anywhere on your body that you can find, you figure you had to be the only person on the planet who didn’t have one. Most of the town shuns you, so you stick close to family. Your Aunt Ellen raised you after your parents died in a car crash when you were two, but what happens when the Winchesters return to town and buried secrets begin to come to light?

Pairing: Mechanic Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You

Word Count: 7655

Warnings: Dean's "memories" from the night at the bar when he saw her again after leaving after graduation.

A/N: Well, here it is everyone, what Dean was going through over the course of the story. I hope it was worth the wait. Things will pick back up on 10/24 with Chapter 25 and you'll still get next Friday's up on the 25th with Chapter 26. <3

A/N: This is my non-Supernatural fic I'm attempting. Please let me know what you think, as I always love hearing from my readers.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 25

Dean’s heart skipped a beat, his body tensing, but Crowley seemed delighted. “Ah, wonderful. Show them in.” A few moments later, familiar faces flooded the dining hall—Sam, Ellen, Jodi, Bobby, Mary, and John. Dean stood, his eyes immediately scanning Y/N as Ellen moved quickly to her, pulling her into a tight embrace, both women in tears. Ellen’s voice trembled with a mix of sadness and relief as she reassured her niece.

Dean’s chest tightened as he watched the reunion, knowing just how much this moment meant to Y/N. She had needed this for months—the comfort and reassurance that only being around family could bring. Dean knew he hadn’t been enough to fill that void for her while the two of them had been in the bunker, but he had done what he could for her. 

Dean exchanged hugs with Sam. While Sam exchanged hugs with Benny, Dean embraced his parents, having missed them far more than he cared to admit. Even Jodi and Bobby shared hugs with the boys before turning their attention to Y/N, wrapping her in soft, relieved embraces.John’s voice broke the moment, softer than Dean had ever heard. “We’re here for ya, kid.”

Crowley, ever the perfect host, gestured to the empty seats. “Please, join us. There’s plenty of food, and we’ve much to discuss.”

As everyone settled back around the table, the atmosphere shifted. Dean felt it—the sense of a team coming together, united by a common enemy. It reminded him that even though Crowley was a lawyer, he was still just a man, a man who had to carefully tread that fine line of the law. He really was on their side, and he realized that with how his family interacted with the lawyer. They had gotten to Cali a day before Dean, Benny, and Y/N because they had flown out. So, they had already gotten to get to know him.

Just as Dean was about to relax further, feeling Y/N begin to relax as well, he felt her mark burn, that painful sizzle like it was his own skin on fire. He was already out of his seat and at her other side before the pained sound slipped past her lips.

Crowley snapped his fingers a couple of times, watching the scene unfold. He had already prepared for this, and the servant immediately left the room to retrieve the cream. Dean moved her dress a little, exposing her mark just as the servant returned, holding a tube of cream out for him. “It’s okay. I’m right here,” Dean murmured, applying the cream to her mark, his voice low and steady.

The room fell silent, all eyes on them as he tried to soothe her. He knew they all could see what he’d seen a couple of days ago, the last letter fully formed. Dean hadn’t had a chance to speak with any of them since they had gotten to the safe house. It had been one thing for him to state it in court during his testimony, but it was another for them to see that he had been telling the truth when he’d said it.

“Well, now, this changes things,” Crowley mused, leaning back in his chair with an air of amusement. “Why wasn’t I informed about that?” 

Dean shot a glare at Crowley, anger bubbling beneath the surface. He hadn’t had a chance, thanks to the FBI, but he couldn’t precisely say that at the moment. Y/N, clearly confused and in pain, looked at Crowley, her brows furrowing in frustration. “About what?” she managed, her voice laced with annoyance before Dean could open his mouth.

“With that,” Crowley began, gesturing toward her mark, “we’ve got a little more leverage.”

Dean’s heart sank. He knew what Crowley was implying, and he hated the fact that he still hadn’t told her everything. The guilt that he thought had been almost gone, hit him like a punch to the chest. He hadn’t even told her that the last letter had come in on her mark. He felt her frustration flare at the situation, at being left out.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, quite frustrated now.

Crowley chuckled lightly, a sound that grated on Dean’s nerves. “Dean, you haven’t told her yet?”Dean’s jaw clenched, heat rising in his chest as he shot another glare at Crowley. He was about to retaliate when Y/N spoke up, her voice sharp and demanding.  “Tell me what?” Her hands clenched tightly in her lap, mirroring the tension that filled the room.

“I was waiting,” Dean finally managed through gritted teeth, trying to suppress his irritation at the lawyer.

Y/N’s anger boiled over, and Dean could feel her frustration wrapping around him like a suffocating blanket. “Will someone tell me what the hell you’re talking about? I’m tired of this, of all of you keeping secrets from me,” she snapped, looking around the table, searching for answers that no one could give her yet.

When silence followed her question, she stood up abruptly, anger radiating from her as she slammed the dining hall doors behind her.

Crowley sighed, the moment she left the room. He nodded to one of his servants—a young woman with kind eyes. She rushed after Y/N while Dean just watched, feeling guilty, angry, and upset. He wanted so desperately to run after her, tell her everything, but he couldn’t.

Dean, still fuming, stood up, “We agreed to tell her when her mark came in more.”

Crowley shrugged nonchalantly, although he wasn’t pleased about his secrecy, “It slipped my mind. Besides, she has a right to know.”

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. “This isn’t helping. How did she not notice one of the letters came in all the way?”

Dean sighed and sat back down, “She never looked in the mirror at it, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her to.”

“Son, she’s gonna be more hurt if you wait much longer,” John told him sincerely.

“Does she have at least an idea of how you’re connected to all this?” Crowley asked, although clearly frustrated, but needing further information.

“Not completely,” Dean reluctantly answered.

“Benny, did she even pay attention when Dean testified?” Sam asked, fairly puzzled how she wouldn’t have found out.

Benny sighed, “No. I was talkin’ to her. Tryin’ to help er’ relax a little.”

Crowley was usually a calm, collected man, but this frustrated him: "What does she know?”

Dean grabbed his beer, taking a sip before he answered, staring at the label, “I told her I know she’s my soul mate, part of the thing with Lisa, and that she’s an empath.”

“That’s it?” Bobby exclaimed in annoyance and frustration.

“That explains why she knows we’re hiding something,” Mary sighed, looking back at the closed dining hall doors.

“I didn’t want to make it harder on her,” Dean mumbled quietly.

“Dean, she has to be told, before her birthday, or it’s gonna hurt her more, and not just emotionally,” Sam told him, his tone soft but firm. “I know what I told you before, but she’s quickly running out of time.”

Dean’s attention went to the doors, his mind on only her and what she was feeling. He’d hated not telling, not letting himself get closer to her than she’d let him. He’d felt everything from the moment he’d seen her that first day at the bar, and it was tearing him up inside that she still doubted him. Sam had warned him of the risks of waiting too long, but he just hadn’t been able to find the right time and he didn’t want to do it once they had gotten stuck in that bunker. “Dean, are you even listened?” Crowley asked him, frustrated and now leaning forward in his seat, pulling Dean from his thoughts.

“Yeah, I mean, no. I wasn’t listening,” he grumbled.

An annoyed sound left Crowley’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Her birthday is in two days. Either you tell her tomorrow, or I’ll have to make sure the doctor is here.” His tone was of concern for her more than for Dean.

Dean looked down at his beer, “She’s gonna hate me, but… I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

“Son, she’s gonna be mad at all of us, but she’s not going to hate us, especially not you,” John tried to reassure him, feeling bad for what not only his son had to go through, but also what she had had to endure.

Dean tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling for a moment, then back to the label on his beer bottle. He could feel her emotions tormenting her, and her thoughts were a jumbled mess. Then, his gut knotted up, and he felt sick. “She saw her mark,” he groaned out, trying to keep the contents of his stomach from coming up. “She’s trying not to let herself believe that it’s my name trying to come in.”

Sam let out a long sigh. This had been his concern all along—that the unspoken truths would catch up to them—that her doubt could possibly cause Dean to go through a sort of rejection sickness. “Want me to go talk to her?” he offered, wondering if perhaps he could help.

“No. I need to be the one to tell her, but it would have been so much simpler if she had just heard what I said in court,” Dean muttered, his voice still tinged with the discomfort of his knotted stomach.

The silence stretched until Ellen’s voice broke it, “What is it she doesn’t know?”

With that, Dean looked up, meeting her gaze. There wasn’t much she didn’t know at this point. “She doesn’t know that it has to be her to let me in, to trust that I’m her soulmate, or she could end up in the hospital on her birthday when her mark does finally come in all on its own,” he answered as a frown found his lips at the thought of her in an induced coma due to the pain of the connection that would repair itself without her acceptance, thanks to the Vaughts.

“She also doesn’t know that she’s having premonitions or that if her mark comes in before she is supposed to marry Cole, it’ll nullify the contract,” Dean added quietly, as those were the two things that were supposed to wait until her mark had come in at least a little more—the things they were supposed to tell her together. “Or that if she has to go through with marrying Cole, it’ll be his name to show up on her instead of mine.”

It had been why he never pushed anything, never did anything more than she initiated, like cuddling on the couch while watching a movie. Or even holding her at night when she had nightmares so they would go away. Why, no matter how badly he wanted to, he had only kissed her the one time. She had to let herself believe, to hope, to love. For three months, he had waited. Waited for her to let him in. He had never crossed that invisible line she had drawn between them.

The others stayed for a little while, catching up with Dean and Benny while talking about the case together. Dean tried to enjoy seeing them again, but all he could think about was her, up in a room trying to figure it out on her own. His guilt was back in full force, like it was when he saw her that first night in the bar, eating at him from the inside. Benny tried to be there for him, but there was nothing his friend could say that would bring him any relief. Finding himself in one of Crowley’s sitting rooms, Dean sipped a whiskey when that familiar wave of emotion washed over him—loneliness. Her loneliness. Typically, back at the bunker, he’d go to her, hold her while she processed everything. Then, he would have done something silly to pull her out of her head. Right now, though, he couldn’t get out of his own head to give her the comfort he knew she deserved.

He’d allowed himself to relax in the last three months, even letting his guard down. But now, it was like reality was right back in his face. Right now, his thoughts were about how things were supposed to have gone after he got back. Dean took another sip of his whiskey, enjoying how the light burn reminded him of simpler times for now.

They were supposed to work together at the garage, get to know each other, and become friends. Then, all the adults were supposed to sit down with her, all the ones she trusted, along with John and Mary. They were going to tell her about things, their suspicions of the car accident being deliberate, the risk of telling her too much too soon and overwhelming her. Hell, even Sam had planned on flying back for that.Dean sighed and looked up at the ceiling as if somehow he could see her through the structure in her room. How did things get so complicated? He leaned forward a little, taking another sip. The stillness in the room kept his thoughts on how it should have gone while the weight of his guilt constricted against his chest.

He knew her now; she would have been eager to know everything, and he would have been there for her when it all hit her. And he knew it would have hit her hard, but she was a fighter, she was strong. She would have gone through anything to learn the truth, even back then. But now, they were in this mess, all because he couldn’t find the words to tell her what he needed to.

Her thoughts whispered through his mind, in pieces again. She’d kept her walls up, kept him at arm’s length, but her heart knew the truth, as did her soul. Dean had been grateful for at least that much. She was piecing things together like she did when it came to working on a car. The memory of watching her work pulled a small, almost unnoticeable smile to his lips.

Again, his gaze went to the ceiling, briefly, though, and with a sigh, he sank back into the couch. She’s questioning me, my actions, or lack thereof. “If only I could tell you, Sweetheart,” he whispered out to the empty room.

When he felt her finally fall asleep, without the threat of the nightmare, he went to his own room. He didn’t want to be around Crowley, and Benny knew he needed space. At least she was resting, and that gave him a slight reprieve from her whirlwind of emotions, like one of the weights had lifted off him. Now, it was just his own guilt.

Hours felt like days as they dragged on. He knew it was due to what he had to do, had to tell her. No matter how he worded it in his head or spoke it out loud, it just seemed so unfair. Hope had broken her so many times, and he had to ask her to trust him, trust that he was her soulmate, and let him in. She had to hope and believe. How could he ask her to believe in something that had caused her so much pain before? To let him in when hope had broken her so many times already?

After sunset, a servant knocked on Dean’s door, and then led him to a room that he hadn’t even noticed when they had come into the mansion of a house. It was a study, but it was also like a security room all wrapped into one. Bookshelves were along the walls, filled with books. There was a sitting couch, one of those fancy sort of ones off to the right of what looked like a very expensive desk. On the other side was a long desk with several monitors. It reminded Dean of the security room in Y/N’s bunker, but Dean didn’t smile, he looked back at Crowley, also ignoring everyone else in the room. Something was wrong, he could feel it.“What?” Dean snapped, harsher than he meant, arms crossed over his chest as he sized up the room and activity.

“We have a situation. It’s safer in here,” a man with a British accent responded to him, his focus on one of the monitors.

Dean’s heart pounded, his pulse quickened as he turned toward the door. Two men blocked his path, and he glared at them. “Move,” he growled, his hands at his sides, clenching into fists. He had to get to her, protect her like he promised he would.

“My men are handling it. They’re retrieving her,” Crowley frowned as he watched Dean.

“It’s not your job to protect her, it’s mine,” Dean shot back, stepping toward Crowley’s desk, the need to protect her was overwhelming.

Three of Crowley’s security team shifted, moving to block Dean’s path, but Crowley just raised a hand, locking eyes with Dean. “And who is going to protect you, hmm? You think she’s their only target. If they get you too, they’ll have all the leverage they need, and you’ll lose her, forever.” Crowley calmly told him, almost patronizing.

Dean froze, the memory of her nightmare flashing through his mind. His body remained tense, even though part of him knew Crowley was right. He wasn’t about to admit that, though. Silence filled the room, broken only by the occasional click from the men monitoring the security feeds. Then, a faint, eerie howling echoed in the distance before the quiet crept back in. Dean’s nerves were raw. He knew he had to get to her.

“Good, the hellhounds have found their target,” Crowley said, his voice dripping with satisfaction as Dean’s jaw clenched.

He hadn’t moved from where he had stopped, halfway between the door and Crowley’s desk. Then they hit him out of the blue—Y/N’s emotions—panic and fear, then concern for him. The force of them all staggered him, his body swaying a little as he took a breath, trying to stay upright. She was having another premonition. Damn it! He needed to get to her, but the how wasn’t coming to him with the suffocating cloud of her emotions mixed with his thoughts.A tug. Barely there, almost like a thread pulling at his chest. Even though it was so gentle, barely even there, it took his breath away. It was her, reaching out to him, but the walls she’d built around her heart were in the way. Her emotions poured into him like the waves of a tsunami. They nearly consumed him as she attempted to connect the bond between them without having chosen him. He felt like he was being pulled beneath the waves, down deep underwater, making it hard to breathe.

He fought to ground himself, though it felt nearly impossible without her there beside him. Her emotions and his concern for her safety muddied his focus. The sense of time seemed to disappear as any sounds were drowned out. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, sifting through everything that wasn’t his own, trying desperately to gain his bearings. 

Benny, leaning silently against one of the bookshelves, looked over a Dean. He saw the struggle his friend was currently wrestling with, even if he didn’t fully grasp the depth of it. Slowly, Dean’s gaze met his as the whirlwind calmed slightly, and Benny gave him a quick nod, a silent conversation letting his friend know that he’d help. A tiny, tight-lipped smirk formed at Benny’s gesture. He knew he could always count on him.

It happened in an instant, the two of them working together without having to speak a word. Benny moved first, distracting one of the guards, while Dean shoved the other aside, slipping through the door before anyone could react. Thank you, Benny. Words he didn’t have time to speak at the moment as he took in the silence of the dark mansion.

Dean took a slow, deep breath, centering himself amidst the storm of emotions that weren’t just his. She was looking for him, and he could feel her fear mixing with his own. He knew he needed to find her before someone else did. His steps were silent as he made his way toward the dining hall doors, glancing only briefly toward the window above the landing. She’s not in her room.

He closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on her again. Her fear and worry were stronger now, tugging at him like it used to back at the bunker.

Kitchen.

Quickly but silently, he made his way through the dark dining hall, glancing out the windows as he passed them. His eyes were adjusting to the darkness, making it far easier to see the tiny outlines of furniture and the doors on the far side of the table. Just as he opened one of them, he saw her, and the light outside the far kitchen window.

There was no easy way of getting her attention, and the last thing he needed was for her to scream and alert the intruders to their location. In one swift motion, he covered her mouth with one hand while wrapping the other around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest.“Shhh, it’s me, Sweetheart,” he whispered softly as relief washed over him. She’s safe. As he lowered his hand from her mouth, she whipped around in his arms, wrapping hers tightly over his shoulders. “I was so worried something had happened to you,” she breathed out in a quiet whisper.

For a moment, he just held her, trying to calm them both down as he kept watch at the light of a flashlight outside the kitchen window. It moved with whoever was holding it. “It’s okay. Come on, it’s not safe here.”

He didn’t let go of her as he led her back through the mansion, his focus sharp. When they entered Crowley’s office, Dean closed the door with his foot so he didn’t have to let go of her. Dean focused on her, letting her presence ground him while he attempted to calm her. She’s safe. Those words repeated in Dean’s mind. Dean mostly just glared at Crowley, a warning for the man to keep his mouth shut about things he wasn’t ready to talk about. He should have known that it wouldn’t have worked, though, and he knew it.

“You knew they’d come after me?” she asked Crowley, quite confused, pulling Dean from his thoughts.“Love, he’s not just after you. He needs leverage, to make you comply. Figured you would have realized that already,” Crowley answered smoothly while shooting Dean a knowing look. “That whole family knows they only have so much time before you’re useless to them.”

Dean knew what was coming, even before she pulled away from him and looked up at him. Her eyes swam with confusion as his guilt gripped his chest. “What haven’t you told me?” She was blunt, almost confident, but Dean knew better. He felt her fear of what the answer could be. 

The pain of what the truth could do to her hit him first, and all he could do was look down at the floor. She needs to know. As if that thought was a switch, he hid his pain, then answered her. “If Cole marries you before your mark comes in, it won’t matter who your soulmate is, your mark will change to his name, because you’re an empath.” The words slipped out quietly, a confession he hadn’t wanted to tell her. As silence settled on the room, he wanted to take it back, wished he could, as he felt the weight of his confession sink in. A new piece to the puzzle she’d been slowly trying to put together. He knew she thought it was the last piece, but it wasn’t. He knew there was another question lingering in her mind, and he prayed she wouldn’t ask it, not now. 

“How do I make my mark come in all the way?” she’d spoken it, even though her voice trembled slightly. She’d pushed past all her fears and asked the one question he hadn’t found a way to answer. 

Believe I’m your soulmate. Hope that I’m telling you the truth. Trust that I really can feel you, that the name on my shoulder really is you and not some other Y/N.

God, even now, it sounded horrible in his head. His eyes were on the floor, but he wasn’t really looking at it. He reworded it so many times, and was doing that again as the moments stretched in the silence of the room. Dean couldn’t even hide the pain that accompanied his guilt the answer to her question brought to his soul. If only things had been different. It’s not fair. He’d been trying to find a way to tell her for the last three months, but still, nothing sounded right.

“Bloody hell,” Crowley stated impatiently, annoyed at Dean’s hesitation, again. “If you don’t tell her, I will.”

Dean shot him a glare before he finally looked down at Y/N. Her eyes were so full of hope for an answer, while also just as terrified at what he might say. Somehow, though, he managed to take a deeper breath, even if it was shaky. She deserves the truth.

He hadn’t even been able to open his mouth before that damned Brit said the hellhounds had done their job. At the same time, though, Dean was thankful he didn’t have to give her an answer. 

Crowley took an annoyed breath, “Thank you, Ketch. You may all return to your rooms. The situation has been handled.”Y/N went to the door, slipping through it first. Dean let out a quiet sigh, feeling how heavy her emotions were weighing on her heart. The few servants who worked the night shift followed her, along with several guards, to return to their posts. Dean was about to follow them when Crowley spoke up.“Dean, your luck is going to run out eventually, and it’s only going to hurt her in the long run.” Crowley all but growled at him. His frustration and aggravation at Dean’s incompetence flared in his eyes. “You, Dean. You could have literally prevented all of this had you been competent in your task. One job. That was all you had, and you couldn’t even do that properly.”

“Crowley, it’s not that simple,”  Benny began, pushing off the bookshelf he had been leaning against, in an attempt to defend his friend, but Crowley shot him a glare, quickly silencing him.

“Had Dean told her the truth instead of playing house, we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Crowley snapped as he stood, still glaring at Dean.Dean flinched, but his anger bubbled beneath the surface, overshadowing his guilt at the moment. There were so many things he debated saying. Half of them just sounded like excuses and the other half just sounded like an argument of a petulant child. Dean ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath.

“You have until tomorrow evening, Dean, or I tell her.” Crowley’s tone wasn’t quite as loud, but Dean could still hear his annoyance. 

He knew it wasn’t that Crowley had any ill intentions. If that were the case, Crowley probably would have told her when they showed up at his mansion. “I told you, I’ll tell her tomorrow, after breakfast,” Dean stated, his eyes still on the lawyer for a moment before finally looking away.

Dean’s gaze went to the door where she’d gone. Then, panic coursed through his entire body, his heart pounding, and his feet were moving before he even had a chance to think. Something was wrong. He’d gone from feeling her heartache to feeling absolutely nothing, like she was unconscious. Dean knew she was still alive, but this was something deeper than her just being asleep.

Crowley and Benny were hot on his heels, but when Dean reached her door and flung it open, he stopped breathing for a moment. Her room was empty, a breeze coming through the open window.

“Damn it!”Dean cursed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. His eyes darted around the room, taking in every detail, every shadow, every flicker of movement, searching for any sign of where she might have been taken or by whom. The sheets were rumpled, and a pillow lay on the floor, but other than that, the room looked untouched.

Crowley appeared behind him, his expression grim as he surveyed the room. “They were quick,” he muttered, moving to the window and looking out at the grounds. He knew he should have anticipated something like this; the other men on the grounds had only been a distraction to keep the hounds and his security occupied while the real threat made its move. 

“Sir, you’ll want to see this,” Ketch stated, now standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable.

Dean tore his gaze away from the room and followed Ketch, a sense of dread settling in his stomach. He could feel his pulse racing, his hands trembling slightly as he walked down the hallway. Each step felt like an eternity, the air thick with tension and unspoken fears. He could still feel her, so he knew she was alive, but that wasn’t what he was worried about most.

The three followed Ketch back down to the main room, then to a side room where there were three other men, their faces illuminated by the glow of computer monitors. They were all watching the footage, their eyes glued to the screen as they went through the recordings. 

“I didn’t think he’d send his best, but I should have,” Ketch told them, pausing one of the recordings from outside her room.

On the screen, it wasn’t just one man; it was a strike team, led by Asmodeus, the Vaught family’s tactical security lead. Alastair was there too, with two others, Ramiel and Dagon. It was the best the Vaughts had. Dean’s jaw tightened as he watched the footage, his eyes narrowing with a mixture of anger and fear. The precision with which they moved, the seamless coordination of their attack—it made his blood boil. His hands clenched into fists at his side, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.

They’d come in through the window while she had been in the study, then hid in the shadows, waiting. The alarm linked to the window had never gone off. Once she sat down on her bed, Alastair approached her silently and, with a swift, practiced motion, injected something into her neck that knocked her out instantly. They then lifted her gently, as if handling a fragile doll, and slipped back out the window.

“Olivia has already been taken into custody and is being questioned,” Ketch informed Crowley, his tone cold and efficient. “I’ve also already sent out two security teams to retrieve your guests from earlier.”

“Good. Now, to make a phone call,” Crowley replied, his voice calm but tinged with a steel-like determination. He was pleased at how quickly his security team had gotten the job done. His next focus was to get his informant to find her before the end of the following day.

Crowley leaned back in his chair as he pulled out his phone, Dean’s eyes never leaving him. “I’m calling in that favor. Find her. Asmodeus’s team took her.” And with that, he hung up the phone. “Ketch, let me know the moment the others get here. They’ll want to know what is going on.”Dean couldn’t stay there in Crowley’s presence, knowing he was moments away from going off on the man. With his jaw clenched in frustration, he went to one of the studies, pouring himself a whiskey. It was only after ten, but he knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight, not with her having been kidnapped. 

Even after the others got there and offered their support, Dean couldn’t relax. Watching and hearing Ellen go off on Crowley brought him a small piece of relief. At least he wasn’t the only one who was pissed at the man. Crowley had brushed it off, not phased in the least by the woman’s angry words and threats. Ketch, on the other hand, eyed her suspiciously, having a feeling that she would actually do what she’d threatened.

After they’d been filled in, there wasn’t much to do except wait. That was hard on all of them. The tension, worry, and anger that filled the air of the study was thick. “You don’t think they’d try to do the wedding early, do you?” Jodi’s question and the broken silence pulled their attention to her. It was the same question running through all their minds. She had been the only one brave enough to speak it.

“I wouldn’t put anything past that family,” John answered, running a hand over his mouth as the tension grew.

Sam sighed, his gaze going from his brother to the floor for a moment. His brows furrowed as he gathered his thoughts. Sam was probably the only one at the moment who knew how good Crowley was. “I know none of you want to trust Crowley,” Sam began before looking back up at everyone in the study.

“He’ll get her back, before the Vaughts can force her into marrying him. I know none of you trust him. But I’ve spent the last several weeks with him. I’ve seen his track record. Please, even if you don’t trust Crowley, trust me,” Sam asked, an almost plea.

Dean had once again been trying to follow that thread that connected them, but he still couldn’t feel anything from her. To him, it was like a part of him was missing without her emotions there, mixing with his own. “I’ll try, Sam,” Dean whispered, his gaze on the floor as if somehow the answer on when she’d be found would appear there.

Hours passed like they were days for Dean, each minute seeming to stretch on like a never-ending nightmare. No one emotion was strong enough to feel over the other - anger, heartache, worry, and the lack of feeling her. They were all restless, but Dean didn’t find comfort in their presence or the light conversation anyone tried to make. His gaze was distant, lost in his thoughts of what she could possibly be going through.

He hadn’t even realized how much time had passed before he felt her again as the goosebumps prickled along his skin. Dean swallowed hard - she was afraid. The glass of whiskey in his hand began to shake slightly as his breathing became shallow. Far too many thoughts bombarded him all at once. 

Sam’s hand on his shoulder made him jump. “You okay?” he asked, worry and concerned in not only his tone, but also his features.

“She’s awake,” Dean whispered in return, desperately trying to calm his racing heart. 

Dean felt the pain that ached through her body, the panic that hit her hit him, and then there was how it was hard to breathe. Sam said something else, but Dean was so consumed by his connection to her that he hadn’t heard a word of it.

“Dean, is she okay?” Sam repeated, this time a little louder, causing Dean to meet his brother’s gaze.

Dean took a breath, shifting his body a little to shake some of the weight of what had hit him so he could focus again. She’s at least awake. “She’s afraid, but it’s different, like she’s alone.” he tried to explain, desperately tracing the strand of the connection she had put her walls up to keep at bay.

Sam let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t much, but it was better than if she was already being forced into a wedding ceremony. “Let me know if anything changes,” he told his brother, giving him one of those reassuring smiles as he gently squeezed his shoulder.

Again, the minutes stretched on as Dean focused on her. He felt every shift in her emotions. When she began worrying about him, a sad smile formed on his lips. I’m okay, Sweetheart, and I’ll be here when you’re brought back. Even though he knew she couldn’t hear his thoughts, he still hoped they would comfort her in a way. He felt her struggle, her determination which made him smile, and then, more worry. Dean updated Sam any time her emotions shifted  Dean loved how strong she was, despite how her life had gone. It was when slight relief washed through her that he finally let himself relax, after who knew how many hours every muscle in his body had been tense, waiting for the worst.

“Oh, thank God,” he whispered, leaning back against the bar in the sitting room, letting out another breath as his shoulders slumped a little, relaxing, the tension easing.

Dean sipped his drink, glancing toward the door, often. I’m telling her everything when she gets here, even if she hates me afterward. He was done keeping it all from her, done letting his guilt overrule the things he needed to share with her. That burning sensation of her mark irritated his own, as it had done in the past. He knew she was thinking of him, both worrying but also trying to piece things together.

It was when another wave of relief washed over her, and through him that he stood and began making his way to the front door. Dean didn’t even realize how quickly he was moving. He needed to see her, feel her in his arms again, and let her presence ground the tornado of emotions coursing through him. He flung the doors open and, for a moment, stopped breathing when he saw her standing there only halfway up the stairs. Taking them two at a time, he didn’t even give her a chance to move as he pulled her into his arms, letting her soothe him in a way he knew she didn’t understand.

“I thought I lost you,” he whispered, fighting against the lump in his throat and the tears burning his eyes. 

When she said Meg’s name, Dean looked over at the woman. Could she be Cas’s soulmate? The guys had shared their soulmate’s names with each other years ago, when they’d come in. Then, on numerous nights, they would make jokes and push to mask that worry of possibly never finding them. If circumstances were different, Dean would have said something, even spoken with her. But not today, not now.

Most of everything after that was a blur for Dean as he focused solely on her. His guilt was eating at him again. She was hurt, and to him, it was his fault. He had told her he’d protect her, keep her safe, but he hadn’t. Dean had moments where he let himself relax, like when she would squeal, but his mind was on telling her everything, after he took care of her wounds.

He felt her watching him as he cleaned her cuts and scrapes. Dean knew the others were there, but everything around him had seemed to disappear, except for her. He felt her confusion, curiosity, and her desire for the missing pieces. He heard her whispered questions dancing around his mind. With her one, his jaw clenched. After I patch her up, I’ll tell her.

Dean knew he couldn’t convey everything, not the way he wanted to. It was a feeling that couldn’t be put into words. Love wasn’t even the right word, as it went so far beyond that for him, and that scared him, as did the possibility of her rejecting him. He couldn’t even hide his emotions anymore when she would ask him questions. God, he never felt more vulnerable in his life.

You shifted next to him, pulling him from his dreams. Dean’s eyes fluttered open as he inhaled deeply. He smiled as he looked down at you, still asleep in his arms. You were still there. He kissed your forehead, causing you to stir again.

“You’re safe, Sweetheart,” he whispered, his eyes taking in your features as you slowly began waking up.

It was warm, and you felt safe, content. As you opened your eyes, you smiled, seeing those beautiful green orbs lazily staring down at you, full of adoration and love. “Afternoon,” he told you, half asleep and still groggy.

“You slept too, good,” you chuckled sleepily as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. Feeling his emotions was still something you couldn’t quite put into words, but it felt right, normal even. Lying in his arms felt like home, and it made the rest of the world and all the issues going on seem like they didn’t exist. 

“I always sleep when I get to hold you,” Dean replied, his voice still having that gruffness of just waking up.

You could have laid there all day with him, but your stomach had other ideas as it began to grumble, making both of you laugh a little. The lightheartedness of the moment only deepened when he reached down and cupped your cheek before giving you a tender kiss. 

I love you.

Neither of you were sure who’s thought it was, but it whispered through both your minds. Your breath hitched in your chest as both your hearts sped up, and your lips parted slightly after he pulled away. For a moment, all you could do was stare into his eyes, searching for something. But, before either of you could speak, a knock on the door and hearing it open made you both move so you could see who was intruding, reminding you both of reality.

“Lunch is served, and Crowley requests both of you to join him,” the butler stated, standing there with the door open.

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes, which made you giggle a little. That made him smile as he leaned down toward your ear. “I get to help you put some pants on again,” he whispered before leaving a soft kiss on your neck, sending a shiver down your body.

“Tease,” you grumbled, but the smile on your face gave away that you weren’t upset at all.

“We’ll be down in a minute,” Dean told the butler so he’d go away for just a few more minutes of having you all to himself.

“Five minutes,” the butler replied, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

Dean propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you, that mischievous smirk on his lips. “Five minutes…” he repeated in a rather suggestive manner, making you giggle, music to his ears.

He knew better, though, than to start something now. Dean wanted to love you, the way he’d been wanting to for months, and five minutes wasn’t enough time. “Alright, I’ll behave,” he sighed before throwing back the blankets and climbing over you, on purpose.

You bit your bottom lip and practically held your breath when he was on top of you, and your eyes met his. He even lingered for a moment longer than he needed to, mischief, love, and desire flickering in his eyes, matching the emotions that mixed with your own. It caused both your bodies to thrum for a moment before he finally got off the bed, and you could take a deep breath.

Using your elbows, you maneuvered yourself to the edge of the bed, remembering not to put weight on your wrists. He chuckled a little after grabbing your jeans, feeling you watching him, and trying not to focus on the images that played out in his mind, knowing they weren’t all his.

“You know, Sweetheart. I’m pretty sure you’re the bigger tease.” He told you, quite amused as he helped you into your jeans, teasingly slow again. He loved how your body responded to him and he hadn’t even really done anything.

“At least I’m keeping my hands to myself,” you quipped in return, sitting up.

Dean tapped the side of his head with his finger. “Your thoughts are quite… detailed,” he replied before licking his lips, wanting nothing more than to act on the things you were thinking.

A deep blush found your cheeks, and traveled down part of your neck as your body flushed. Thankfully, the butler opened the door, stating your five minutes was up, making the two of you laugh. Dean scooped you up into his arms again, carrying you down to the dining hall, following the butler. 

He had an idea of why the two of you had been ‘summoned,’ but he didn’t want to say anything. “We’ll face it together,” you told him softly, your head leaning against his chest, feeling his worry.

“That’s gonna take some getting used to,” he chuckled.

“What, me being able to read you like a book now?” you asked with a slightly teasing tone as you looked up at him.

Dean made the mistake of looking down at you, and god, the thoughts that went through his mind were downright sinful. He took a shaky breath, quickly looking away. “Yeah,” he replied, his breaths still a little shaky as he tried to shake the images from his mind.

The butler held the dining hall doors open, “I’ve retrieved them, Sir.”

“Oh, good. The lovebirds are finally awake, and clothed,” Crowley cooed from the far side of the hall, making most of the others roll their eyes. No one had left, which almost worried you.

Dean gave you a gentle squeeze, “Relax. I’ll be right there with you.” He whispered.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 26

Story Master List Main Master List

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @jamerlynn @jackles010378 @bruhidkjustwannaread @onthehuntforshinies

@chriszgirl92 @angzls @xolivvies-cornerxo @certainsaladstarfish @onlyangel-444

@nancymcl @muhahaha303 @suckitands33 @kr804573 @justrandomthougt

@suckitands33 @mxtansy @scarletqueenx @krazykelly @roseblue373

@whimsyfinny @ladysparkles78 @aaathazagoraphobiaaa @hobby27 @perpetualabsurdity

@cicibunbuns @n-o-p-e-never @vanessa-boo @foxyjwls007 @uoberpmollah

@xolivvies-cornerxo @certainsaladstarfish @kdadss @bitchykittenconnoisseur @reignsboy19

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@deans-baby-momma

If I missed tagging, please let me know. I had a lot of requests for tags for this one. If you'd like to be tagged, drop me a comment.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello!

I cannot thank you enough for everything you do for the fandom. It’s so incredibly kind and amazing and cool of you to do this :) I know that this might be a bit specific, but I’d still like to ask if you could recommend any fics where Aziraphale has either been hurt or has gone through something traumatizing but he hasn’t told Crowley about it, because he thinks that it doesn’t matter, but eventually Crowley finds out and comforts him. (Like in not alone by Lalaland666) it would be awesome if it could also not be a AU, but it can be.

Thank you so so so so much, I hope that you have a wonderful day :D

Hi! Here are some fics in which Aziraphale is struggling, Crowley finds out why and comforts him. Mind the tags and warnings on a few of these!...

A Shadow In The Light by VinnieTheDuck (T)

While having a nice walk in Saint James Park, then having quite the homophobic encounter, Crowley says something during it that accidentally triggers Aziraphale.

let your guard down, for me by ineffableserpent (T)

Aziraphale has never fully calmed down, per say. He’d been able to reign himself in back to a state of functioning, trying to busy himself with other tasks to avoid spiraling once more. Crowley, the angel had discovered, was an immense source of comfort. … He didn’t wish for the demon to find out about his anxiety, as much as Aziraphale oh so desperately wanted to confide in him. But that would lead to Crowley becoming upset, and inevitably, upset with Heaven — considering that Upstairs has almost always been the source of the angel’s anxious responses. Aziraphale has always been able to keep a brave face — to appear as the guardian he was made to be. No matter how many nights he spent alone and gasping for air, begging for his body to cooperate, he always made it out in the end. Until tonight, that is.

Father of War by AraniWrites (T)

There were three things Crowley could depend on every day with complete certainty. One, that Aziraphale loved him utterly and completely, just as much as he loved him in turn. Two, that he could consistently count on the angel to be present within their shared flat above the old bookshop, engrossed in his books for days and weeks at a time, only broken by Crowley’s presence. Three, that they had agreed not to lie to one another again, and both had upheld their agreement faithfully. He had never had reason to doubt these three truths. That is, until today.

The Penitent Man by charliebrown1234 (M)

"I believe that very few men are capable of estimating the immense amount of torture and agony which this dreadful punishment, prolonged for years, inflicts upon the sufferers; ... I am only the more convinced that there is a depth of terrible endurance in which none but the sufferers themselves can fathom... I hold this slow and daily tampering with the mysteries of the brain to be immeasurably worse than any torture of the body; and because its ghastly signs and tokens are not so palpable to the eye and sense of touch as scars upon the flesh; because its wounds are not upon the surface, and it extorts few cries that human ears can hear; therefore the more I denounce it, as a secret punishment which slumbering humanity is not roused up to stay." - Charles Dickens on Solitary Confinement at Eastern State Penitentiary, 1842 Aziraphale and Crowley become trapped in an elevator post-Apocalypse, which brings back bad memories for Aziraphale. The resulting flashback is debilitating, and Crowley helps to walk Aziraphale through it.

useless, helpless, hopeless (safe) by Anonymous (M)

Crowley picked a bad day to drop by the shop. Gabriel had already gone, thank goodness, but the bruises on Aziraphale’s face most certainly had not, and the truth came out. Gabriel was raping Aziraphale, and there was absolutely nothing that Crowley could do about it.

What I Am by Anonymous (E)

Aziraphale knows what he is, in Heaven. He’s dirty, and tainted, and easy. He’s good for working off stress. He’s a lower angel, a demoted Cherub banished to Earth and forbidden from saying no. He’s Gabriel’s favourite, though he doesn’t understand why. He knows all too well what he is. But it doesn’t matter. Because Heaven is good, and all that they do must be good in return. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he hates it. Heaven cannot possibly be wrong. Right?

And the one you mentioned...

(Not) Alone by lalaland666 (T)

Aziraphale had lost track of the days quite some time ago. He’d been counting the seconds in his head, before. Heaven was always bright, always lit by perpetual sunlight, and the Room was brighter than the rest of Heaven, too, so it made it quite difficult to keep track of… of… Aziraphale had lost track of the days quite some time ago. Aziraphale is punished by being put in solitary confinement. Eventually, Crowley finds out.

- Mod D

[goodomenscalendar]

What is this? | Submit your own event or tag us! | Be sure to click through to the original post for the latest updates! Last edited: October 12th.

Ending Events

Good Omens Holiday Exchange | Prompt Claims close Oct 4th

The Good Omens Holiday Exchange has operated every holiday season since 2005, so by now it's something we consider a fandom institution-- and you could be a part of it this year! Sign-ups are closed, but you can still claim a prompt to fill for someone else! - @goexchange-mods - Claims List -

GOAD Fall Ball Kink Thrall | 18+ | Sign-ups close Oct 31st

Autumnal kink roulette split into two sections. One 'edge' event taking place over a month of writing or drawing. One 'heat' sprint style event weekly on the sub (over the posting period). Prompts sent out November 1st! - @goodomensafterdark - Reddit -

Good Omens Fairy Tale Bang | Posting continues!

This is a Good Omens Mini Bang themed entirely around Fairy Tales! Writing your own or adapting a favorite! All versions of all Fairy Tales and Mythology are welcome! Featuring both SFW and NSFW content. - @fairytalegobang - AO3 Collection -

DIWS: Silver Screen Bang | Posting continues!

The Good Omens Silver Screen Bang brings writers and artists together to retell a movie through a Good Omens lens! AUs and fusions welcome! Featuring both SFW and NSFW content. - @do-it-with-style-events - Twitter - AO3 Collection -

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A Good Omens bang dedicated to theatrical plays and musicals! Featuring both SFW and NSFW content. - @gomens-theatre-bang - AO3 Collection -

Ongoing Events

Chill Omenstober | Runs all month!

A chill list of Good Omens themed October prompts filled with lots of break days. Feel free to use with any form of art! Good luck and have fun! - Prompt List -

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A month-long prompt list full of truly Ineffable kinks! This isn't a challenge, do as many or as few as you are inspired to! - Prompt List - Twitter - AO3 Collection -

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Classic Inktober: make a drawing in ink, and post it! Inktober is about growing and improving and forming positive habits, so the more you’re consistent the better. - Prompt List - Twitter - Reddit -

Whumptober | Runs all month!

Whumptober is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like! - @whumptober - AO3 Collection -

Upcoming Events

Thwarting Wiles Zine: Vol 2 | 18+ | Applications open Oct 5th

A bottom!Crowley Good Omens zine. This is an 18+ zine, so no minors will be accepted. - @thwartingwileszine - Twitter -

Ineffably Grey Zine | Pre-orders open Oct 18th

From the Grand Opening in 1898 to modern times, follow this Demon and his Angel on their adventures, and the routines that surely follow at a table for two for An Evening At the Ritz! All proceeds donated to The National Center for Transgender Equality. - @ineffablygrey - Twitter - Instagram - BigCartel -

The Ineffable Society: Langhorne, PA Meetup | October 19th

A free-to-attend Good Omens fandom meetup in the States. Just outside Philadelphia, PA. All ages welcome; under 18 must attend with guardian. Masks required in our Event spaces—help keep your fellow fans safe! - @theineffablesociety - Twitter -

Good Omens Spooky Bang | Posting begins Oct 28th

A spooky Good Omens bang to kick off the autumn season! Whether it's Aziraphale pumpkin-picking, a pumpkin spice latte coffee shop AU, or Hell hosting a Halloween bash, you're invited to the Spooky Bang! Featuring both SFW and NSFW content. - @spooky-bang-good-omens -

Ineffable Secret Angel Event | Sign-ups TBD

When you register for the event, you will be randomly assigned to another participant, who will not know they have been assigned to you. You will then create fanart or write a fanfiction for this person, which you will present to them as a winter gift! Join the Good Omens Reference Library Server to participate! - Info Post - Discord Server -

On The Horizon

Keep an eye out for these works-in-progress in the coming months!

Good Omens Frames | @gomensframes Good Omens Monster Bangers Bang | @gomonsterbangersbang

[bitethedustfools]

TWST Story Idea (11)

Yuu= He/Him cuz its people pov

The coffin did not contain a single person but instead two people, stuffed in together uncomfortably: a boy and a girl whose appearances mirrored each other as expected of twins.

Crowley did not know this when he first declared Grim and one of the twins to be two in one package students because one wandered off when this happened. Once united, the twins realized that if they admitted there was a third person, it would either be the other twin or Grim, who might not be able to go to NRC.

They had made the decision to fool everyone that there were only two beings instead of three living in the ramshackle dorm, just so that no one could separate them.

The twins became one person, exchanging places every day and making sure they detailed their day down to the specifics in case someone asked them.

Since they had different genders and personalities, naturally, their behavior didn't match up, so they tried to create another persona mixing some of their characteristics instead of creating a new one, which would be hard to play the role.

The way they moved was easy to mimic because they were twins who had done everything together, but sometimes it was easy to forget who they were supposed to be, leading to the image falling apart. So, the persona must have a certain gait made from a mix of them.

The same goes for the rest of their characteristics. They took the differences between them and mixed them into one. The soft-spoken girl and the hot-tempered boy became a person who was well-mannered but wouldn't be afraid to retaliate. The brain and the brawn combined to be a competent person.

This person was Yuu, a persona which the twins must become so that their secrets are safe.

It was hard to maintain this persona, but the twins got to rest some days when it wasn't their turn, and the paperwork dropped by Crowley was done much faster with two people. In addition, one could even go to school while the other did some errands outside of school. This meant easy money stockpile, although it dwindled slightly since there were three living beings now.

They were certain that their secret was safe, even though some had cast suspicious looks at them, but no one had ever spoken out loud about it, so that was fine.

However, being seen as something not entirely human did not crossed their minds.

-

Everyone thought Yuu was strange. Almost all who paid more attention would notice that there was something wrong with him.

Yuu's voice couldn't stay the same tone. It changed frequently and subtly. It would be low and high-pitched, like a normal male voice trying to sound a bit like a woman, and another would resemble a young boy trying to imitate a man's voice by deepening it.

They thought Yuu was messing with them or it was just his way of talking. Not that they fully believed it, but it was better to ignore things, you know?

Often, Yuu spoke politely, and then the next moment, he would send a glare or speak with a hardened tone to someone who managed to offend him in some way. People didn't really get scared at that, seeing as it was just a mild scolding.

Another day, he would do the same, but it was different. This one seemed forced when speaking softly, yet when he was mad, that's when it was the most genuine, and it scared most people.

Someone once caught Yuu looking at a mirror and practicing his expression.

The said person thought it was funny until Yuu said, "My facial muscles are too stiff. I can't get it right."

They all thought Yuu was similar to Floyd, but clearly, this was a different case.

And not to mention, Yuu's movements seemed calculated, as though he was scared of making a mistake. Sometimes they were too stiff, and other times there were too many sways or the steps were irregular, and so on. Some noticed that Yuu's eyes widened slightly before assuming a certain gait that the others had seen plenty of times.

"I almost forgot how to do this…" his murmurs could still be heard, and it made everyone break into cold sweats rapidly.

Some beastmen thought they smelled the scent of a female on Yuu, but the next day it was male. It was different every day, and sometimes it happened in a row. He confronted Yuu one day and was met with a blank face, and then a rather tight smile.

He did not get an answer, but the next few days, the scent of a male on Yuu continued, and Yuu's gaze bore into his soul with a vicious glare.

His mind had come to a conclusion that Yuu was not human.

Some say they witnessed Yuu's doppelganger in some random place before stumbling upon another Yuu, which frightened most people because Yuu denied having seen them, and he had an alibi with Grim.

Yuu's friends, the first-years, thought that Yuu and the ramshackle dorm were weird and creepy. Often, they would hear Yuu talking to himself or loud noises coming from a different room or sudden shuffling when they looked back.

Yuu had them all convinced to announce their presence before opening a room because of ghosts or something. Yuu would also cook plenty and then eat and leave one serving behind, telling them not to touch it.

Yuu would then leave the room and return after a couple of seconds to eat that one serving, much to everyone's confusion and surprise. After all, Yuu usually ate little, and sometimes the plate was full, but this time, there were two plates.

When asked, Yuu who devoured the food almost like a starving animal simply replied, "I'm hungry."

Seeing his everyday strange quirks, the meaning simply changed into something else.

[lauriegraham01]

rare is this love, keep it covered

pairing: crowley x angel!reader, gn!reader

summary: sneaking behind heaven and hells back, you and crowley reach the end of the road and he has to make a choice whether or not to let you in

tw: angst, fighting, religious themes, hurt/comfort, lotta hurt at first tho

wc: 1,615

a/n: inspiration stems from run by hozier

In the eons of Crowley's existence there had been very few times where they've felt true pain. Living through devastating natural and manmade disasters, the rise and fall of empires, famine, and death - none of those had left an impact on them quite like the your absence has made in their life.

You and Crowley's relationship could be described as corrupt in the eyes of Heaven and Hell if they knew the true nature of it. The truth was that the two of you had spent centuries pining over each other, but neither of you had acted on it in fear of punishment and bearing the wrath and hatred of some other mans belief. Despite this, you two managed. You knew where your relationship stood, and with this you came to love each other in secret, laws of Heaven and Hell neglected whenever you were in each other's embrace.

Life with the fallen angel was exhilarating, Crowley brought out a side of you that you never thought possible. Danger and mischief seemed to always lurk around the corner but you didn't mind because you knew you were safe as long as you were by Crowley's side. You rubbed off the demon as well, you amplified the gentle side that you knew was always there but they just kept hidden, locked away. You showed them what it felt like to be loved unconditionally and you brought a light into Crowley's life that they'd been searching for since the fall.

While embarking on adventures and loving each other through the monumental and the mundane- the highs were high, but the lows were abysmal. Crowley had their flaws, and you weren't perfect by any means. So whenever you would clash, it felt like the dread of an oncoming war. Pain and destruction would remain whenever you and Crowley were at your worst, and this time you felt that things were too broken, too devastated, too damned to mend.

It had been four months since you left Crowley's apartment in the middle of the night without so much as a note telling of your whereabouts. Crowley, still blinded by their anger brushed it off and assumed that you would return once you've cooled down. But days, turned into weeks, and months and after four months away without so much as a letter or a phone call from you, Crowley knew that the situation was graver than previously imagined. Their self-loathing was immensable, knowing that it was their actions and self-sabotaging that drove you away. It took another angelic intervention to be able to find their way back to you. Aziraphale was the only one who knew of your whereabouts and swore to not say a word of it to anyone - but when his demon friend came into his bookshop, bloodshot eyed and begging to know where you were, well he couldn't help himself.

That's where Crowley found themself now, on coastal roads in the south of France. Growing more impatient and anxious the closer they got to your address. You heard that precious Bentley from miles away before you even heard the knock on your door.

"Piss off!" You shouted bitterly from the other side of the door.

"How'd you bloody even know it was me?" Crowley said surprised that you immediately knew it was them.

"The only one who comes to visit is the mailman and he doesn't blast Queen!"

"Sounds like you need a better mailman," Crowley muttered to themself underneath their breath.

"Look would you just open the fucking d-" Crowley then heard the creaking of a gate opening and closing not too far off in the distance. Groaning in frustration, they march off behind the cottage you were staying at until they find the gate and is met with the sight of you trekking your way through the sands on the rather solitary beach.

Rushing to the shore to meet you, Crowley's met with the raging sea foaming with your loneliness.

"Save it Crowley, I don't want to hear whatever it is you have to say," you shout at them without sparing a look behind as you stomp your way to shoreline where the seafoam of the moving waves soaked your bare feet.

"Well that's not very nice of you, angel," Crowley quips back mockingly.

"You've used up all my niceties, Crowley. I have no more grace to offer you."

"Look love, i'm terribly sorry, okay? I'm sorry for the way we left things when you left. Now can we go home and get off of this fucking beach, you know how much I hate sand."

"No, Crowley." Finally facing them, your cold stare and unwavering tone catches Crowley off guard.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said no," you responded bitterly.

"Look y/n, I know how I am. I'm all ill tempered and hateful and push everyone away until they bugger off for good but for my sake y/n will you just please get in the car?"

"No, Crowley. You hurt me, okay? You don't get to come here and think an apology is going to fix what's shattered here. It doesn't work like that...not this time." As your voice trailed off at the end you stand up taller as you look Crowley in the eye.

Beats of silence pass between the two of you as Crowley tries to find the words to say. They knew it would be hard to be able to clean up the mess they've made, but your cold stare in your eyes made them uneasy in ways they've never felt. Here, you looked almost unrecognizable from the way Crowley's always know you since the dawn of creation. Eyes of wonder that looked into your ancient soul had always been a stark contrast to their hungry eyes carried by sneering menagerie. But now that light of wonder was windowed by pain, and at their hand. Crowley took note of the darkened sky above them and the distant thunder that rolled over the sea. Crowley could feel your anger and pain as you shifted the weather, winds growing stronger as you stood unmoving in front of them. Crowley felt crisp trepidation washing over them, a dread weighing down on them as it settled deep within their stomach.

"You knew what you were signing up for the day that we," flinging their hand between the two of you, "...became us. I told you from the very beginning that I'm too much, I'm scarred and torn beyond repair and I've built walls to protect myself and you from that pain, from that ugly shame."

"That never scared me and you know it, Crowley. I know who you were, who you've always been but you know that you don't have to suffer alone. It hurts me to see you carrying it all alone when I can help."

"S'not fair to you. You deserve better."

"I don't want better Crowley, I want you!" Lighting striking down as you exasperatedly shout back at them.

"I am somewhere outside your life, Crowley. I keep scratching but somehow I can't get in!"

Beneath your sky and punishing cold, Crowley knew that they couldn't live without you. That would be true Hell to them. With their serpent eyes never leaving yours, Crowley does something they haven't done since before the fall. Body slowing sinking down, they kneel before you. As the wind howls through their ginger locks, your breath hitches at the scene in front of you. Marveled at the sight of Crowley baring their onliness.

"My life is in your hands. It always has been."

Their hands creep up, knuckles turning white from clutching onto your side tightly as if with just a thought- in an instant you too would be washed away by the waves.

"In all of my eternity living-aimlessly walking through this earth, for once I see the truth in you. No one sees me but you. Forget Heaven and Hell, they're just words to me. I surrender my life to you, y/n."

The storm raging of ancient misery you've conjured slowly grows weaker as their words fully sink into your soul. You knew Crowley was good at heart, that they weren't inherently evil, but with them kneeling at your feet, their soul exposed and in your hands.

Sinking slowly into the ground you kneel in front of them, as you remain eye-leveled with Crowley you lift your hands to slowly caress their face and upon contact their eyes shut as a shudder escapes their lips. Feeling the dried tears that had fallen down their cheeks.

"Our sides may think that there is something wretched about this but I don't give a damn-I know there's something precious about this. Rare is this love Crowley, I need you to vow to keep it covered."

"With my wretched soul."

A small shudder of a chuckle leaves your lips and for the first time in a very long time, hope embeds itself into your heart with the promise of blossoming fully.

"Your wretched is my precious, my dear."

Crowley's lips curve into a small smile as their chest sinks, exhaling airs of tension they had bottled up.

With arms snaking their way around you even tighter, Crowley pulls you in as they crashes their lips onto yours. Desperate and all consuming, devouring each other other in attempts to make up for all the love lost and this new beginning you've found. With burning lungs you pull away and press your foreheads against theirs. Catching your breath you open your eyes to find Crowley's loving gaze already staring at you.

"Know that I love you, y/n," Crowley confesses hoarsely.

"I know," you say breathlessly. "I love you, Crowley."

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Masterlist

Hello hello finally got around to making a masterlist, hope yall enjoy

Masterlist Key

🥰=Fluff

🫣=Smut

🥲=Angst

House of the Dragon

Alicent: Secret touches🫣

Helaena: A mothers pain🥰🥲

Aemond: Sweet Caresses 🥰🥲

Aemond: An olive branch 🫣🥰

Aemond: The cowardly king🫣🥲

Aemond: Words of comfort🥰🥲

Aemond: Two side of the same coin 🥲

Aegon: A shoulder to cry on 🥰🥲

Polar

Duncan Vizla: Too Sweet for me 🥰🥲🫣

Hannibal

Hannibal: An ethical issue 🫣

Hannibal: Us lonely few🫣🥰

Hannibal: Jealousy, jealousy 🥰🫣 (request)

Hannibal : Everything is gray 🥰🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Temptation 🫣(request)

Hannibal: Off limits 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Stitches and sweet kisses🥰🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Tender beginnings 🥰🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Teachers pet🥰🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Cravings 🫣

Hannibal: The thrill 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Office hours 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: I did it for love (request)

Hannibal: What's mine is mine 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Unexpected infatuation🫣 (request)

Hannibal: The friend we make along the way (request)

Hannibal: Motivation 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: A bit of relaxation 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Words on paper 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Homecoming 🫣 (request)

Hannibal: Friend or foe? (request)

Hannibal: Father Figure (request)

Hannibal/Will: In another life 🥰🥲 (request)

Will: Nightcap 🥰🫣

Will: Academic Validation 🫣

Will/Hannibal: Saviors🥰🥲

Triple Frontier

Santi/Frankie: Two is better than one🫣🥰

Saltburn

Oliver: The birthday boy🫣

One Piece (Live action)

Luffy: Love bites 🫣

Usopp: Shoot your shot 🫣 (request)

Sanji: Forbidden fruit 🫣

Good omens

Crowley: To love and be loved

Crowley X Aziraphale: Together

The last of us

Joel:A way to quiet the mind🫣

Joel and Tommy: Sharing is caring🫣

Joel: The things we do for those we love🥰

Joel: Tough guy act🥰🫣

The Marauders

Remus lupin: Late night whispers🥰

Remus Lupin:Bloddy Boggart🥰🥲

Remus Lupin : Mirror of erised🥰

Remus Lupin: The bet🥰

Sirius Black: The older brother pt1 🥰🫣

Sirius Black: The older brother pt2🥰🫣

Remus Lupin: The reunion🥲🥰🫣

Marvel

Eddie Brock: When you love something, you protect it🥰

Eddie Brock: Late night confessions🥰

Matt Murdock: When the world went quiet🥰

Matt Murdock: Safe and Sound🥰

Frank Castle: Spaghetti and Meatballs🥰🫣

Frank Castle: Dead Man walking🥰

Frank Castle: Bloody Savior🥰🫣

Frank Castle: The secrets we keep (request)🥰

Star Wars

Cassian Andor: Rescue Mission🥰

Cassian Andor: Hold me even if your hands are bloody

Poe Dameron: Stubborn to a fault🥰

Din Djarin: Another day🥰🥲

Din Djarin: Yours🥰

Din Djarin: Guilty Pleasure 🫣

Arcane

Slico: Revelations (There are 5 parts)🥰

Silco: The agreement (There are 2 parts)🥰

Silco: Unlikely alliance

Viktor: Guardian angel🥰

Viktor: Slow dancing in the dark (there are 2 parts)🥰

Midnight Mass

Sheriff Hassan: The new sheriff in town🥲

Sheriff Hassan: So this is the end🥰🥲

Avatar

Lo'ak: Reborn🥰

Neteyam: Reckless Behaviour🥰

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson: A helping hand🥰

Wednesday

Tyler: Not a monster, just done monstrous things

Xavier: Unrequited love🥲

Morbius

Milo(Lucian): I see red🫣

Milo (Lucian):You belong to me🫣

Milo(Lucian): Eternal (request)

[zayray030]

How would the teachers react to parents day where it’s revealed Ace’s auntie is coming.

For this prompt Ace’s wine aunt (Arca Tarot) is basically someone who knows the teachers dirty secrets as their senior,

For example Arca outing that Crewel used to have an emo/goth phase (Vil would most definitely cringe at that style)

Vargas used to be a twink,

Sam used to be that one annoying guy that follows the rules (now look at him now lol)

(nothing for Crowley or Trein because they were teachers before her)

So since girls can't got to NRC, there are always girls schools and I have a feeling that schools would get together for tournaments and the like and this is how she managed to get all her blackmail on the teachers

Crowley thanking the Lord that that Arca didn't go with him to school so his secrets are safe forever

However the rest aren't doing so great...

Crewel is trying his hardest to fix his image in Vil's eyes, meanwhile Idia is hero worshiping the man

Vargas has never been so ashamed. Azul, for once feels a sense of camaraderie between him and the man. Leona however is shocked at the blatant audacity Vargas had for kidnapping him for 'slacking off' meanwhile he looked like that. Ruggie and Riddle are slightly grateful because it means that there's still time for them to build up their muscle

Sam is incrsasing prices for ANYONE who brings up his high school days. Azul tried to bring it up and left having to almost sell 1/4 of mostro lounges property.

Trein is just happy that he was a nice teacher to her because one way or another she would have gotten blackmail on him.

[goodomensafterdark]

Writers Guild - Whisked Off My Feet

Author: throwawayaccount_rdt on Reddit

CW/TW: First time, love confessions, Crowley is a virgin, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, Crowley has a vulva, Aziraphale has a penis, fluffness overload and fun miscommunications. Author enjoys sweet lovemaking and makes it everyone's problem.

Summary:

Aziraphale is reminded of his pandemic-acquired hobby of baking due to the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday. And he knows just who he wants to be his Valentine. Safe to say, things do not go as planned as millennia-long secrets come to light.

Excerpt:

Valentine’s Day came, and Aziraphale enjoyed a cup of tea while he sorted through the Cooking section of the bookshop. After having watched too many reruns of The Great British Bake-Off while sulking, he was struck by an idea.

Crowley had never tasted Aziraphale’s baking. This was mostly because he didn’t really have a habit of baking, besides a one-week frenzy during the pandemic after he had given up on knitting and caught up on his reading. His attempt at a sweater had ended up coming out like a scarf, and he couldn’t even eat it afterwards.

This was a much more enjoyable endeavor, and he even had the opportunity to share his baked goods with three friendly teenagers from the neighborhood who came to visit him one night, apparently looking for the cash box (what for, Aziraphale couldn’t say. The ancient thing hadn’t seen as much as a penny since the 1940’s). Though he had to inform them social distance was still to be maintained, he was happy to send them home with Tupperware full to the brim with cake.

And he was an angel, for God’s sake, of course he enjoyed doing nice things for others, and he cared about his friends. And if he happened to bake a heart-shaped cake on a particular holiday to gift to his best friend, it was purely coincidental, really.

...

“You got a card… for me.”

“I thought that much was obvious,” Crowley mumbled.

“Why?” Aziraphale looked intently at the nape of his neck, wishing that the demon would turn around and face him more than anything. He needed to see him.

“Because – I thought – fuck, angel. Because I wanted you to have a nice bloody Valentine’s Day,” he gulped, “with me.”

“With you,” he repeated, plainly.

Crowley turned back to face him. He had forgotten to put his glasses back on, and Aziraphale could have sworn the demon looked almost vulnerable.

“No need to say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s a bad thing for me to want.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what, Aziraphale?” Crowley breathed deep, mentally counting down from ten to calm himself down. It was one thing to love your best friend unrequitedly, and another different one to be outright rejected.

“Want?” Aziraphale nearly squeaked. He straightened himself to try again, “want me?”

Continue reading on Ao3

[littlespacereader]

Hi! I would like to request a little!Dean Winchester fic? If you're not comfortable with that, or don't know the character that well, that's okay!

Of course I’m comfortable writing a Little Dean Winchester fic!! After I wrote A Trip to the Grocery Store I’ve been so in the mood to write another fic about Dean Winchester regressing! I hope you don’t mind a bit of Castiel being a Caregiver in this fic. I think him and Dean are such a cute Little and Caregiver pairing! Anyway please enjoy! Thanks for the request! 💞

A Little with a Bunker all to Himself

Little! Dean Winchester & Caregiver! Castiel (SFW!)

Tags - pacifiers, sippy cups, playing with toys, diapers, accident, mentions of past trauma, cuddling

Nicknames - little bee, little troublemaker, sweetheart, baby boy, little one and little boy

“Are you sure you okay by yourself?” Sam asked Dean. He brought his bags to the stairs that lead to the entrance of the Bunker.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Dean asked, redirecting the conversation. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself on this hunt? I mean I’m perfectly fine to tag along with you.”

“No, no, it’s not even really a big deal. I read that this town has a possible ghost issue. Thought I’d check it out to see if it’s even true. It’s nothing I can’t handle.“ Sam explains.

“Yeah well after everything it really doesn’t seem like a lot when it’s just a ghost,” he laughs. “But regardless be safe and call me if you need me.” Dean pulled Sam into a hug before he left.

“I’ll be fine Dean. I’ll text you when I get there.” Sam grabbed his bags and walked up the stairs to the door. With a final wave he left the bunker.

Dean paused for a few minutes, making sure he heard Sam’s car pull out of the garbage and leave before he could really relax. A whole week to himself! No Sam, no anyone! Cas following a lead, Crowley was in hell and now Sam was out of the bunker for a week.

That means Little Dean could do whatever he wanted!!

Dean ran down the halls of the bunker and to his room. Once inside he grabbed his secret box from inside his closet and started to pull out all his little gear: his blue batman pacifier, his dino sippy cup, his favorite stuffed animal and…

He paused looking at the diaper. He knew he needed it when he slept while regressed, having woken up many times in the past with a wet bed. But today he was feeling reckless and a little older in his headspace. Plus he wasn’t planning on sleeping! He’s gonna stay up as late as he want!! He put the package of diapers back in the box and back in his closet.

Next was getting his toys! The box next to his little gear was a collection of toys both from his childhood and some he picked up along the way. He grabbed his hot wheel race cars and his legos before closing the box and putting it away.

And without further adu, it was time for Dean’s regression day all to himself!

The first order of business was getting changed. Dean grabbed a pair of soft pajama pants and one of his favorite flannels, red of course.

Then, arms full of little gear, he made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed his sippy cup and filled it to the top with some juice they had stocked in the fridge.

With the necessities out of the way, it was time for the fun part!

Dean popped his pacifier in and made his way to the main part of the bunker. He grabbed his hot wheels and lined up the two cars together on the table. Then, at the same time, he pushed the forward to see who would win.

The cars went flying across the table, falling off the end. Dean giggled and ran over to grab the cars and try it again. One of those cars was the same make and model of the impala. So naturally it had to win against this corvette.

Dean continued this race over and over again, making sure every one of his hot wheel cars lost to his impala. After the 15th car lost the race he picked up the cars and set them on the table.

“Baby is alway the winner!” He held the impala high up in the air.

He pocketed his impala and eyed the mess of cars sprawl across the table. Dean looked the mess and whined. He was too tired to put them away. And why would he? Sam’s gone for a week, he can clean that later.

Next was Legos! Dean dumped them out across another table and began to build. First he made a garage for his hot wheels impala. Then he made a house attached to the garage, that way the Lego figure could have a place to stay! He popped his pacifier in and concentrated on his build.

That went on for an hour or two before Dean got tired of that as well. He looked at the mess on the table and decided like the cars, the mess could wait.

He grabbed his now empty sippy cup and went to the kitchen once more. He made himself a small sandwich and was off to the tv room in the bunker.

With his dinner on the coffee table, he sat down and grabbed the remote, turning on Scooby-Doo to enjoy for the rest of the evening. He popped his pacifier out and began to eat.

After the fourth episode his sandwich was devoured and his sippy cup once again emptied. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Dean picked it up and checked it. Sam texted that he made it to the town safely and was settling in for the night.

Dean send a quick text back wishing him a good night before he put his phone on the coffee table and resumed Scooby-Doo.

Within another three episode Dean’s eyes were becoming droopy and tired. He could’ve went to sleep right there but his throat was too uncomfortably dry. So reluctantly he pulled himself off the comfy couch and practically sleep walked to the kitchen.

He lazily opened the fridge and grabbed some water. After filling up his sippy cup, he took a seat at the table and started to drink. But he was still so sleep and the kitchen was the perfect temperature for napping. Not too cold not too hot.

He decided to rest his head against the table and just relax for a minute. But that minute last wayyyy longer than he originally planned. Eventually he fell asleep resting on the table, one arm to rest his head on and the other still holding onto his sippy cup.

~~~

Castiel had been trying to get in touch with Dean for two hours now. No doubt he was still up despite it being late hours. Dean was a night owl for the most part, except when he regressed.

But usually when Dean starts to feel Little he lets Castiel know, that way he had his Angel Caregiver to watch over him. But Castiel got no such text or call.

Castiel was the only one in Dean’s life that knew about his regression. He had always known Dean was a Little but never told him, always looking for the right opportunity to ask him about it.

That opportunity came when he went to the grocery store with Dean and caught him staring at the sippy cups for sale. After that Dean became his Little and he became his Caregiver. The two shared so many wonderful moments together.

The two learned a lot about each other from their new relationship. Dean is such an energetic and lovable Little. He’s especially cuddly and clingy to Castiel when regressed. And Castiel is a bit of a pushover, but also a mother hen. He’s patient and gentle Caregiver to Dean.

So when Castiel received no text or call from Dean he started to worry. His lead brought him to a dead end anyway so he was already on route to the bunker.

“Dean?” Castiel called when he entered the Bunker.

He noticed Sam’s car was missing. So maybe he went on a solo hunt, after all Dean would never chose Sam’s car over his own for a hunt. That left Dean all by himself in the bunker.

Before Castiel could worry more he made his way to the bottom of the stairs and into the main part of the Bunker. There, sprawled across two tables were Dean’s favorite toys: hot wheels and Legos.

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. Dean was okay, he was just regressed. But just as relief came over him, his worrying returned. Why hadn’t he called him? He continued into the hallways to find his little troublemaker.

The tv room sat empty with just a plate of crumps and Scooby-Doo playing in the background. He walked over and grabbed the pacifier and plate. He pocket the pacifier and grabbed the plate to bring to the kitchen.

Finally Castiel had found his little boy in the kitchen. Dean was lightly sucking on his thumb in his sleep, still resting his head on the table with one arm holding his sippy cup protectively.

He placed the plate in the sink and made his way over to his mischievous little boy. He stopped and froze for a minute. A sigh left his mouth.

When Dean was regressed he was a notorious bed wetter. In his actual earlier days, hoping hotel to hotel took a toll emotionally on Dean. His fears of the demons and monsters his father hunted would haunt him at night. In the morning when the bed was wet, John would yell and punish him.

So eventually Dean started to become better at hiding it or simply blamed it on his younger ‘not potty trained’ brother until eventually Dean grew out of it.

Regression helped Dean work on his troubled past. But it also brought back his bed wetting issue. Castiel never minded the accidents. He introduced Dean to the idea of wearing diapers and while he was a bit reserved at first, he started to associate diapers with comfort and security.

But as Castiel stared at his little boy, it seems tonight the idea of wearing a diaper might’ve slipped his mind. His rebellious boy. He knew he had to wake Dean up and get him changed, so Castiel softly rubbed his shoulder, slowly bringing Dean out of his little nap.

Dean started to whine and stretch his tired arms. He looked to the source of what woke him up and was met with two beautiful blue eyes.

Dean paused and looked at the angel, shocked to see him. But then he felt it, his cold and wet pants. His eyes glanced down to see the accident. After a moment he looked back at Castiel, eyes now full of tears.

“I-I didn’t mean to- I was…I didn’t…” Dean couldn’t even speak through the shock and sadness he was feeling.

Castiel just shushed him, bringing him close so he could rest his head on his chest while Dean was still seated. “It’s okay Dean, you’re okay my little bee. It’s just a small accident, that’s all. There is nothing to be worried about. I’m here, I’m going to help you.”

Dean looked at Cas both shocked and scared. “You’re not mad?” Dean forgot to text him about regressing and now he had an accident. Surely Cas should be extremely mad at him.

But instead he looked at him compassionately, looking to care for him rather than just scream and yell at him. “No sweetheart I’m not mad at you.” He smoothed Dean’s hair.

“I do want to have a talk about all this, not an angry talk but just a talk. But first and foremost I want to get you changed.” Castiel explained as he helped Dean up and out of the kitchen.

Dean’s head was spinning with horrible outcomes. Castiel had never given Dean a reason not to trust him, but Dean never let his guard down. This talk could be the end of everything. The idea started to bring tears to Dean’s eyes.

“I don’t want to talk.” Dean voice cracked mid sentence as a sob broke through. He didn’t want to lose Cas! He just got his wonderful Caregiver and now he was leaving.

Castiel had stopped in his tracks. “No no no baby boy. This is not going to be a bad talk. We just need to have a conversation about today. You’re not in trouble.” He held Dean’s hands tightly in his own.

Not in trouble? But Dean was wrong? But Cas wasn’t yelling or punishing him. All he wanted to do was talk about it. It started to ease some of Dean’s anxieties.

“You’re not leaving?” Dean asked quietly.

“Not unless you want me to. And even then I’ll always be watching over you Dean.”

Dean shook his head, “Please never leave.” He held onto Cas’s hands tighter.

“Then I never will.” Cas shared a small smile with Dean.

The two walked into Dean’s room. Castiel helped him out of his wet pants and underwear and into a fresh pair of pajamas bottoms as well as one of his diapers.

Once changed Dean sat patiently on the bed for Cas to finish up in the bathroom. His foot bounced anxiously as he waited. Cas made it clear he wasn’t mad and he wasn’t angry. So what were they going to talk about? He leaned over the bed and grabbed his stuffie to hold.

Castiel walked out of the bathroom and over to his anxious boy. Dean didn’t take disapproval or disappointment well. But he had to talk to him about today so that there was nothing left unsaid between the two of them.

He sat down next to his little one and put a gentle hand on his leg, stopping it from bouncing so rapidly.

“Dean, I want to talk to you about today,” Cas started out with.

“I know for many years you’ve regressed and took care of yourself. So the idea of having someone looking after you is still new to you,” Dean opened his mouth to stop Cas but he simply held a finger up and continued this thought. “I’m okay with you having some time to yourself, to regress alone. We all need time alone. All I ask from you is if you do to let me know when you do. That way incase anything happens or you need me, I’ll be ready.” Castiel went on to explain.

Dean listened carefully to his words and nodded along. Cas is truly an angel. Without Dean saying a word he perfectly knew how he felt. “That sounds good.”

With the two of them on the same page, Castiel started to help Dean get tucked into bed. Dean took Cas’s hand again, “But I want you to stay. Sammy gone for a week.”

Castiel smiled, “Of course I’ll stay. I gotta keep an eye on you.” He winked playfully. Dean giggled.

“Especially because someone forgot to clean up after themselves when they were playing with their cars, their Lego and forgot to put their plate away after eating.” Castiel reminded.

Dean started to blush deeply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean shrugged and tried to say.

Castiel rolled his eyes and smirked, “Likely story.”

He hoped in bed next to Dean and the two cuddled up together. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s midsection and rested his head on his chest. Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders and carded his hand through his hair. He handed Dean his pacifier from his pocket which Dean gratefully took.

“You never have to worry about anything you do Dean. No matter how bad you think it is, I will never hurt or yell at you for anything. Just like tonight we will just talk about it and work it out. You never have to be afraid of any sort of harsh punishment.”

Castiel’s words soothed Dean’s worries. He snuggled closer next to Cas. “Thank you.” He said around his pacifier.

Castiel smiled, “Of course my little bee, of course.”

With a kiss to Dean’s forehead, the two settled in to sleep. Well…Dean slept peacefully cuddled next to Cas. And Cas being the guardian angel he’s always been watched over his mischievous boy while he slept.

He shook his head and smiled to himself. Dean Winchester, both in and out of headspace was a handful.

[aitu]

OK this is gonna be some Good Omens meta with implied Good Omens 2 spoilers and Good Omens 3 speculation so please feel free to scroll on but...

I've seen people talk about how much they dislike the idea of Crowley and Aziraphale ending the series as humans and lemme tell you I am RIGHT there with you. Not only because it would condemn them to infinitely shortened lives, but also because it does nothing to solve the structural problems inherent to Heaven and Hell. Like, yes, it would free the two of them from those systems (until they died?) but if the systems remain in place with the continued power to harm those who work within them, is that really a happy ending?

Idk HOW we can dismantle these toxic systems (it's not my job to know) but sometimes I think about the total destruction of Heaven and Hell and the building of a secret third thing where angels and demons are reintegrated with one another in a reflection of the multiple times the Book says that the two sides are basically indistinguishable just by looking. I think about angels and demons having to face one another and millennia-old resentments head-on, not through war but through communication. The angels could express how betrayed they felt when the demons rebelled, when the angels were stuck being Good, and the demons could vent about how much it hurt to have their friends take up arms against them for the sin of questioning God. I think about the two groups having real conversations for the first time in more than 6000 years in this shared space and coming out on the other side a single group. Not because the angels have Fallen or because the demons have been Redeemed but because they've all found ways to forgive one another.

(What this would mean for the cosmology of the blessed and the damned souls of dead humans, idk. Maybe the new Afterlife would implement a system of reincarnation built on the foundation that at the end of the day everybody is just trying their best with what they have?)

Point is, I don't think AziraCrow can be really safe & happy together until their "sides" no longer see the other as the enemy. The Heaven/Hell divide will always be a barrier, harmful not only to our duo but to everyone involved, from the lowest angel to the highest demon. I guess what I'm saying is, the idea of AziraCrow deciding to escape the Heaven/Hell divide by becoming human is a lot less satisfying to me than the idea of them leading the charge to mend the wounds that caused that divide and becoming Something New, together.

Oh also Jesus is there? Maybe They can be the moderator.

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, can you recommend some longer fics that are super in character? Not necessarily ones that feel like the book just ones where you feel like it’s really them, maybe even in the direction of a character analysis like Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma. Thanks in advance xx

Hi. Characterisation is very subjective as everyone interprets characters in different ways. I recommended some fics I personally thought were in character here. So now I've got some more character study fics for you...

The Art of Longstanding Deception by PollyPocalypse (T)

Aziraphale wouldn’t say he didn’t like being in Heaven.

Of course he wouldn’t. He was an angel. It was his domain. He wouldn’t say he disliked it at all.

He wouldn’t say that sometimes, quite often really, getting out of Heaven felt like shrugging off a too-tight, scratchy jumper. That he always felt just a little more at ease, a little more himself, when he was away from them all.

Aziraphale would never dream of saying any of these things.

The Quiet, Persistent, Gnawing Unease by LollipopCop (M)

Aziraphale looked away, and poured himself another drink. “In any case, that looked unpleasant and I’m sorry to hear that’s a regular occurrence for you.”

Crowley felt weird, like he wanted to yell and punch a wall and cry and hug Aziraphale all at once. He settled on being defensive. “Oh, save it. You probably think it’s what we demons deserve for our wickedness.”

Aziraphale’s gaze turned serious. “You don’t deserve that, Crowley,” he said, quietly but firmly. ~ An exploration of the serious toll Hell's physical and psychological grip has taken on Crowley since his Fall.

The things we lost in being Blessed by Eturni (M)

In a church in 1941 Crowley burned to be on consecrated ground. In Heaven, after Armageddon, Crowley did not burn.

What if there was only so much that could burn away when a demon came into contact with holy things? What would that make him at the point that what was consecrated no longer harmed him?

Crowley grapples with this across the ages. Considers punishments, his place in the world, his place in Hell and, worst of all, whether Aziraphale has any understanding of the things that are happening to him. (There's a happy ending, but happy isn't easy and is rarely everything you wanted)

something wretched about this by IvyOnTheHolodeck (T)

You might wonder why Aziraphale can't seem to enjoy his retirement in peace. You could ascribe his distress to the series of terrifying thoughts that haunt his days, or the only book he wishes he'd never read, or even the wound that still hurts after six thousand years.

Really, though, you should blame the fact he's never learned to talk about his feelings.

The Other Arrangement: or, How the Angel Got so Hungry by burnttongueontea (T)

‘It’s just… funny. Don’t you think it would be funny, if it turned out we’d had it the wrong way round all these years? If I ate all the time, and you hardly ever?’

Crowley discovers that Aziraphale has been strictly and obsessively limiting his food intake for millennia, due to fear of punishment from Heaven if he gets caught eating too regularly. The angel’s confident facade comes apart at the seams after they move to the South Downs, as he struggles to cope with new-found freedom while still keeping his past a secret.

With the future of their relationship soon hanging in the balance, Crowley must find a way to convince Aziraphale that he is a safe pair of hands to collapse into – and that they can rebuild things from the ground up.

For Want of a Seed by cassieoh (T)

A plant grows, a plant dies, Aziraphale takes a wrong turn, and a few truths are revealed. The first of which is this; painful truths cannot be buried for they will sprout and flourish while one is busy having lunch and raising supposed devil-spawn. From this, each of our heroes takes a single lesson; Aziraphale learns that it is better to never bury truth in the first place and Crowley learns the altogether less palatable lesson that truths should be mulched into nothingness when one has the chance, lest they regrow.

I will leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide who is correct.

(aka: post-Apocalypse Crowley finally deals with the issues he's been ignoring for the last 6000 years)

Mind the tags on some of these!

- Mod D

[ivory--raven]

Femslash omens day 15, haunting. Michael (and Dagon) at Crowley's trial.

Destruction is destruction. For angels and demons. Discorporation is one thing, being temporarily bodiless is fixable, but destruction is permanent. Ligur has been destroyed.

Michael finds out through official channels, for once. She has a string of texts from Dagon, all saying this is important, once everything has settled down there’s something you need to know, I’m okay, which is ominous but she barely has the chance to glance at the messages, let alone think about them or talk to Dagon, because Armageddon has been cancelled. There are ten thousand angels Gabriel just told to stand down, and someone has to do something with them while they wait to complain. For once she doesn’t envy him his job. He’s been in talks with The Metatron about it, being chastised - how could he have let this happen? - and it seems like every angel has a personal complaint to bring up with him.

It’s while Gabriel is having a five minute reprieve, hiding from the constant criticism, that the official Hell line goes active. He picks up the phone.

“Archangel Gabriel,” he says. “Yes… I see. We can send someone.”

“Not them complaining as well,” she says, because annoying as he may be she doesn’t hate him, but he shakes his head.

“They need to carry out an execution.”

“A proper one?”

He nods. “They need holy water for the demon Crowley.”

“Because of his role in..?”

“The charge is destroying another demon. Duke Ligur.”

No. “Duke Ligur has been…”

“Destroyed, yes,” says Gabriel. “Hell needs Holy Water to destroy his destroyer. Just, isn’t it?”

Ligur. Destroyed.

Ligur. He’d been a friend, she thinks, something of a friend to her. Destroyed.

“An eye for an eye,” she says, and then before she can think better of it, “I’ll go.”

“You’ll go into Hell? You don’t have to do this, Michael, it’s nasty down there.”

“You’ve never been!” she retorts.

He squares his jaw. “Neither have you.” And she hasn’t, officially, so she has to give him that.

“I ought to, keep an eye on that Holy Water. We can’t send just anyone.” She’s making this up. She has to be the one to take revenge.

“You’re right,” says Gabriel. “You’ll go.”

She will avenge Ligur’s destruction. Ligur, Ligur didn’t deserve to be destroyed like this. Ligur was a friend. He had a life, a husband. How could he have been destroyed like this, to stop the Armageddon they were supposed to have?

A demon destroyed is a demon no longer existing, but at least no longer existing means they once did. Ligur did exist, once. If she avenges him, if she keeps him in mind, that will be a better fate than being forgotten. A better fate than being erased. Ligur will have existed. He will have mattered.

He haunts her when she takes the pitcher and fills it with the holiest Holy Water Heaven has. She knows this is the murder weapon, she knows it is inherent to her nature to create, to live with it. He should be haunting her. The universe has a void now, whispering Ligur was here, Ligur was here. 

He haunts her as she steps into the lift, presses the dingy Hell button, goes down, down, down. He haunts her through the long corridors he once showed her through. She remembers him as kind. As knowing, surely he knew, and keeping her secret. Keeping Dagon safe.

Dagon - Dagon doesn’t know. That's what she forgot to do. Tell her she was coming down here, and with this deadly weapon.

She sees her when she enters the room they have set up for the trial, at Beelzebub’s right hand, in her element. She looks unsettled, her world off kilter slightly and she can’t fix it. There’s something like shock in her eyes when she sees Michael, and as soon as it appears it’s gone, replaced with apprehension.

Is Dagon really afraid of her? Micheal hopes she’s not. She would never hurt her.

Even if it was necessary in battle? She wonders, but she knows the answer. She wouldn’t, and that’s been true a long time.

Her eyes are fixed on Dagon. I wouldn’t hurt you, she wants to reassure her, I love you. She can’t. All she can do is watch her.

“The Archangel Michael,” says Crowley. “That’s… unlikely.”

“Cooperation with our old enemies,” says Dagon, smirking with teeth, eyes sliding past Crowley to Michael.

“Well, wankwings, you brought the stuff?” asks Hastur.

“I did,” says Michael. “I’ll be back to collect it.” She holds it out to him. Ligur was his husband, he should be the one exacting revenge with his own hands.

He shifts back. “No, I think perhaps you should do the honours,” he stammers. “It’s… I’ve seen what that stuff can do.”

Of course. Of course he doesn’t want to touch the very substance that killed Ligur. 

She pours the Holy Water into the bathtub they have set up - it’s so out of place, but what else could they use? She looks at Dagon again, sitting on her chair at Beelzebub’s right hand, and hopes she knows she’d never hurt her. The water keeps on pouring.

Dagon looks away, smirk twisting into something guiltier. She hasn’t done anything wrong, Michael reminds herself - it’s not as though Dagon prevented Armageddon.

The water stops.

“That’s Holy Water,” says Crowley.

“The Holiest, yes,” confirms Michael.

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, Michael, but of course we don’t trust you,” says Beelzebub, leaning to the side on their throne, “Hastur, test it,” and Hastur (Ligur’s husband, he deserves this trial more than anyone) tosses a small round demon in the water where he dissolves, his protests dying alongside him. Destroyed. Gone forever. That’s what happened to Ligur - what Crowley did to Ligur. The water is murky. Destruction is better than being erased, destruction leaves a trace. Michael cleans it up. Once she has, she retreats into the hallway - no reason to take up space, to distract from the spectacle of his destruction.

The traitor Crowley maneuvers himself into the tub so that his feet stay dry. It’s odd, the slinky way he moves his body, like his bones aren’t all there. He was the Serpent, she supposes. There’s something else odd about him - he’s almost familiar, almost angelic.

She comes back a few minutes later, expecting scummy water, announcing “I came to bring back the-”

She has to cut herself off. Dagon looks unnerved and afraid, Hastur is angry, and Beelzebub is on their feet in front of the bathtub.

The bathtub in which the demon Crowley lies, completely unharmed.

“Michael! Dude! Do us a quick miracle, will you, I need a bath towel.” And he stretches out a glistening hand.

Stunned, she does, summoning a white towel and passing it to him. What can she do? He should be gone. Dissolved. Destroyed. Nothing more than damp muck left behind. 

“I think it would be better for everyone if I were to be left alone in the future. Don’t you?” he says, as if a traitor like him is in any position to make demands - and he is, because if Holy Water can’t kill him nothing can. He is the most powerful being in the room and he knows it. Beelzebub nods their agreement, and then so do Hastur and Dagon. He looks at her, and Michael nods too. “Right.”

The trip back up to Heaven is as quick as the trip down, but it seems to drag on, the Holy Water heavy in her grasp. They have a demon who is immune. Is he even a demon anymore? The world can’t be the same as it was before. A world where demons cannot be punished for using Heaven’s own weapon. The memory of Ligur hangs over her, haunts her. He is unavenged. Destroyed by an undestroyable demon.

Destruction is no longer simple.

[wordsinhaled]

our own history » an ineffable husbands playlist

my friends, this playlist is gloriously sappy. there is not an iota of angst in it, i promise. in fact, it is the musical antithesis of angst, the equivalent of crowley and aziraphale having a picnic in the garden at their south downs cottage or enjoying a lusciously indolent, happily married retirement among the stars. it will rot your teeth and make your cheeks hurt from smiling (at least, it does mine). a happy ending in song form. please enjoy and i hope it heals your heart a little <3

01. the new basement tapes » when i get my hands on you 02. sonny cleveland » you've got me running in circles 03. emily king » believer 04. eliza rickman » riches and wonders 05. the magnetic fields » when my boy walks down the street 06. ruby the rabbitfoot » do me right 07. joe hertler and the rainbow seekers » old love 08. may erlewine » days go by 09. sammy rae & the friends » kick it to me 10. rachael and vilray » do friends fall in love? 11. penny and sparrow » don't wanna be without ya 12. madeleine peyroux » dance me to the end of love

lyrics under the cut!

the new basement tapes » when i get my hands on you

when I get my hands on you gonna make you carry me when I get my hands on you gonna make you marry me when I come home to you gonna take you down to the riverside when I come home to you hold you in my arms all night and now you know everywhere on earth you go you're gonna have me as your man

sonny cleveland » you've got me running in circles

oh, can it be that you're here with me? let's start writing our own history

emily king » believer

darling, I know that you could be the enemy leaving flowers at my door and soon you'll be asking for a key don't understand why someone would be so good to me is there something else? something you're trying to achieve? I'm not a believer what I see is usually what I get I'm not a believer but I haven't seen it all yet darling, I know that you must think I'm just a fool I spend my time questioning all the good you do well, I've been around I know that nothing ever comes free so 'fess up now or, darling, forever hold your peace darling, I think I'm going to take a leap of faith they say sometimes something just cannot be explained I've been around I know that nothing ever comes free just give it up and you just might get the best of me

eliza rickman » riches and wonders

we live high / our love gorges on the alcohol we feed it / and it grows all fat and friendly / we have surplus if we need it we hold on as hard as we can / our knuckles are white we write letters to each other / invent secrets to confess to / I learn foreign and exotic terms of endearment / by which to address you we feed fresh fruit to one another / we stay up all night I am healthy, I am whole / but I have poor impulse control / and I want to go home / but I am home we are strong, we are faithful / we are guardians of a rare thing / we pay close, careful attention / to the news the morning air brings / we show great loyalty / to the hard times we've been through we are filled with riches and wonders / our love keeps the things it finds / and we dance like drunken sailors / lost at sea, out of our minds you find shelter somewhere in me / I find great comfort in you / and I keep you safe from harm / you hold me in your arms and I want to go home / but I am home

the magnetic fields » when my boy walks down the street

grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street there are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street life just kind of dances through ya, from your smile down to your feet amazing - he's a whole new form of life blue eyes blazing and he's going to be my wife the world does the hula-hula when my boy walks down the street butterflies turn into people when my boy walks down the street maybe he should be illegal, he just makes life too complete

ruby the rabbitfoot » do me right

you ain't ever gonna let me down / no, no, no / you got a way of keeping me high / connected with the stars in the sky you said, "go read", I'm like / maps make traps for exactly what you want in your life / 'cause if you don't they will pass you right by / quicker than the pines when you drive but baby, I can tell you what I want / I want you to come over tonight / be my secret lover undercover / rolling thunder through the midnight sky / if you can make it and not break it, I can take it till the sunrise / 'cause oh, oh, oh, oh, baby / you do me right

joe hertler and the rainbow seekers » old love

we met on the battlefield / drank from the ladle by the moon / the blood expanded across the field / like chrysanthemums in bloom / is there really so much to fear when we're all just taking sides? and a promise is a promise / will you finish what you started? / I was born to believe that the change in the leaves could really mean anything, love / I'd cross the mountains and the ocean for ya / just to see you I need that old love / and I'm swimming in the dark (swimming in the dark) / I need that cool love / and I'm frozen from the start (frozen from the start) oh, I strained my eyes to see / but it was dark inside and out / how I long to hear your breath / how I long to hear your sound / I so wish to understand / these pangs of solitude / maybe my soul will bring me peace / will it place me next to you?

may erlewine » days go by

it's the way that you walk in the room your heart is a beacon don't need a reason to love you it's easy to do who knows what time is gonna do all I know is the simple truth I like watching the days go by with you the sunrise found me with you the light hit the window outlined the shadow a picture, the way that you move all of my places now left with a trace of you

sammy rae & the friends » kick it to me

I ain't been singing the blues nearly as much since I been living with you, love me too much and I say - kick it to me, I could make it better for ya kick it to me, I could make you better for it I know we didn’t think that it would turn out you start it off too quick, you’re gonna burn out nowadays we're heading to the same place nowadays we're working at the same pace I'm still here still bright when the night comes still burning, still bright when the night comes I didn’t feel it on the first day but now I got it in the worst way and don’t it feel okay? I get it bad and it gets better every day

rachael & vilray » do friends fall in love?

two friends, two hearts too many nights to count them but tonight was something new and I know you felt it too when we fell into the passion of a kiss oh, say you're mine for all our days to follow as friends we lived before and we'll live evermore together two friends in love

penny & sparrow » don't wanna be without ya

say, what if we reincarnate / and whatever God said, "it's your turn for choosing" / would you rather come back, be born in a circle? / see the oldest garden, the crescent is fertile or would you prefer to see life underwater? / only knowing oceans, have hundreds of daughters / there's a part of hope that is sewn in this theory / give me any species and keep yourself near me make it easy / I don't wanna be without ya / if you start over, can I redo mine too? / anything you become / lemme run beside you held on tight but I fell with you / I could see us being young lovers in a fable / that could be us, it could / over and over, becoming, become

madeleine peyroux » dance me to the end of love

dance me to your beauty with a burning violin dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove dance me to the end of love oh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon show me slowly what I only know the limits of dance me to the end of love dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on dance me very tenderly and dance me very long we're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above dance me to the end of love