#crosswords plus you have my heart

[froggtogs]

studies 2/3

[serenasoutherlyns]

so you're a stranger again

Benovak, teen. Ao3. Thanks to @jelestes who encouraged me to finish this.

The woman across the room from her eyed her again, this time unsubtly, undressing her with her eyes. Olivia shivered, the look was so unabashed, so full of desire that it made her cheeks burn. The woman tossed her red hair over her shoulder before putting down her glass on the bar. Olivia’s heart pounded: she was making her way over to her.

Casey looked so good that Olivia almost couldn’t keep from kissing her as soon as she could reach her. She wore a green satin dress that Olivia didn’t recognize. It clung to her body, showing off everything, the open back especially had Olivia’s heart racing. She must’ve gone shopping for the occasion, Olivia couldn’t imagine when. The dim light in the lounge glinted off the clear pendant of her gold necklace.

“Hey gorgeous,” Casey said in that seductively low tone of hers, “can I buy you a drink?”

---

One year ago…

“That new DA’s a piece of work,” said Elliot, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know what Branch is thinking.” Olivia hummed in agreement. “She is kind of your type, though.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Olivia.

“Tall, skinny, pale,” he said, “plus you love lawyers.”

“Two,” said Olivia, “I’ve dated two.”

“More than I have,” said Elliot. “I’m just teasing you. Plus, no way she lasts more than a couple months in sex crimes.”

“Let’s hope. Why do we even need an assigned DA anyway?”

—-

“That would be lovely, thank you,” said Olivia in reply. Casey smiled at her and beckoned to the bartender. Somehow, she even made that gesture sexy.

“What am I getting you?” she asked. Casey’s voice was still, deep, and driving Olivia insane.

“Whiskey and soda,” said Olivia. She thought she would branch out tonight, after all, they weren’t themselves for an evening. She played with her necklace for a moment, hoping it would call Casey’s attention to her décolletage. It worked. Casey cleared her throat before ordering.

“May I take this seat?” Casey asked. Her girlfriend, not her girlfriend for the night, didn’t abandon her chivalrous nature. Olivia nodded and Casey slid into the seat beside her gracefully.

“I’m Casey,” she said. “Who do I have the pleasure of sitting beside tonight?” In another situation, if it really were a stranger, Olivia might’ve laughed at the pickup line. They were already playing a game, though, so it didn’t feel silly.

“Olivia. It’s nice to meet you, Casey.” She held her hand out for an introduction, and Casey took it. Instead, she kissed.

“The pleasure is all mine, Olivia.” The bartender came back with her whiskey soda and Casey thanked her. Olivia took a steadying sip. She knew she had no reason to be nervous, but her hands still shook a little. Casey just looked so good, was being so shamelessly seductive, that she couldn’t help it. For a moment, Casey’s glances faltered. She placed a hand on Olivia’s shoulder, reassuring. “What brings you out tonight?” Casey asked.

“Long day at work,” said Olivia, which wasn’t a lie. “Figured I’d unwind before I went home. What about you?”

“Similar,” said Casey. “My coworkers drive me insane, sometimes.” Olivia almost laughed at this. She knew Casey was talking about Elliot. The two of them had gotten into a little disagreement at work that day. If it had gotten much farther, Olivia may have had to break it up.

“Mine too,” said Olivia.

---

One week ago…

“Do you ever wish we’d met differently?” Olivia asked. Casey was beside her on a mostly-wordless Saturday night that they were spending with takeout, crosswords, and the latest Belle and Sebastian album. Casey took a moment to respond.

“What brings that to your mind?” She said. Olivia stretched, and when she was done, rested her hand on Casey’s thigh.

“I mean,” said Olivia, “I think we make a pretty good couple. But we met with so much conflict, sometimes I wish it was different.” Casey considered it.

“I’ve had that thought,” said Casey. “Don’t you think it makes us closer that we know how to fight?”

“I do,” said Olivia. “Still, sometimes I wish we’d been two strangers at a bar.”

“You romantic,” said Casey. Olivia had never considered herself one before Casey, even with previous girlfriends she’d been reserved in that area. With Casey, though, she would show up on her doorstep with roses and was even letting her teach her how to cook. She sometimes would imagine meeting Casey for the first time without all the fighting, Casey’s presence outside of work that she was so fond of. Casey’s voice broke her chain of thought. “We could always have a do-over.”

“What do you mean?” Said Olivia.

“Pretend we don’t know each other,” Casey said. “Be those two strangers in a bar. I’d kind of like to try and pick you up, actually. Show off my game.”

“Your game,” said Olivia. “I know you’ve got game.”

“What if you pretended you didn’t? Let’s both wear something pretty and go to the same bar one night. It’ll be fun,” said Casey. Olivia was starting to get to know every side of Casey, a couple months into dating her, but she didn’t know she had quite that capacity for whimsy.

“You wanna seduce me, Novak?” Olivia said. She had butterflies thinking about it, which seemed like a good sign.

“I do,” said Casey. “I’d love to.” The word love made Olivia’s butterflies race even faster. She really did know that she loved Casey, but hadn’t said it yet. Maybe it was a little too early still. Maybe she was just nervous.

“Okay,” said Olivia, “let’s do it.” Casey grinned at her. She very smoothly took Olivia in her arms and kissed her.

“I can’t wait to meet you,” she said. Olivia relaxed further into her touch, and went back to her crossword.

---

After talking for a while, Casey asked Olivia the question she’d been dying to hear all night.

“Would you like to get out of here?” Olivia nodded at first, and took the final sip of her drink. They closed the tab, and then Casey popped out of her chair. She look Olivia’s hand as if to help her down. She did it so effortlessly. Olivia was so glad they’d decided to do this tonight. The cab ride back to Casey’s dragged on painfully slowly. Everyone in New York seemed to forget to drive in the rain. Casey made it entertaining, though torturously. She started with holding Olivia’s hand, then moved to her thigh. If they really were strangers, perhaps it would be too forward, but Olivia did not mind. She eventually leaned over the middle seat and kissed her, chastely then deeply. She felt a little bad for the cabbie, but figured he’d seen worse.

When they got inside, Casey offered Olivia another drink, but she declined. She wanted a totally clear mind. Casey had gone so far as to do a little bit of redecorating to make the space seem different, not like the apartment Olivia spent so many hours at these days. The thoughtfulness of that fact made Olivia’s chest warm. She picked up the kiss where they had left off in the car. She pressed Casey against her kitchen counter, holding her hips. Casey may be the seductress, but Olivia knew she was the one guiding. When she had Casey’s breaths quick, she pulled her into her bedroom. This was breaking character a little, but she didn’t care. She needed Casey, and knew Casey needed her.

In the calm of the early morning, Olivia knew it was time. In a completely quiet moment, she sat up on her elbows to observe, make sure Casey was awake.

“Hey, Casey?” she said. “I love you.”

“On the first night we meet?” Said Casey teasingly. “You move a little fast there, Olivia.” Olivia blushed.

“I, maybe I should’ve waited to say it.”

“No,” said Casey, “I wish I’d said it weeks ago. I love you too, Olivia.” Olivia took her hand and drew circles on the back.

“You were not kidding about seducing me, by the way. Jesus, you’re hot. That dress…” Casey laughed. “Thank you for making me do this.”

“My pleasure,” said Casey. She sat up to kiss Olivia. It said everything.

[1moreff-creator]

Matching the DRDT Characters with their Roman Numeral Quote (LGI MV)

So, I immediately fell in love with newest Literature Girl Insane MV, and I have to drop everything I’m doing just so I can talk about it. Although there is so much to discuss I don’t even know where to begin, one thing which immediately caught my eye was the crosswords which flashes on the screen for a moment.

As many have figured out, it’s made up of the names of everyone in the cast, plus Mai Akasaki, minus David. As the footnote on “Now” says, it’s better to use full names instead of nicknames (such as Julia instead of J) and to exclude the protagonist of the MV.

Here’s the solution by raspbeyes, who I believe may have been the first person to upload it to Tumblr.

However, what’s really interesting is that, by the nature of a crosswords, it connects all characters with a Roman numeral. And these Roman numerals show up throughout the video, attached to different sentences. That way, you can connect the characters to these sentences. And so, you get some pretty interesting stuff. With that in mind, I went through and collected all the Roman numerals (it’s not very difficult, apart from one exception), and I wanted to share my thoughts on them.

Now, the numbers don’t actually show up chronologically for the most part, and the only real logic they seem to follow is “they show up after the crossword flashed on screen”. I’ve decided to list them in the order of the actual number instead of the chronological order, as I don’t find the latter to be very important (apart from one case).

That said, I will actually start by number two, since number one is a bit of a special case. You’ll see. For now:

II - Rose ~ Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum

We have some latin to kick things off! “Ego cogito ergo sum” is the ever famous “I think therefore I am” philosophy, but in latin! This phrase (from what I understand) claims that the only thing we can be truly and absolutely sure exists, is our own reasoning and consciousness. This fits Rose decently well, as she’s established her photographic memory causes her trouble separating what’s real, what’s a memory, what’s a dream, etc. Even more so, it sorta fits with the song “Cartoons” from the now vanished character playlist, which some theories placed as Rose’s.

However, there is also the addition of “turbatus” to the saying. Turbatus, from a quick Google search, means something like “disturbed”. Thus, the full meaning is something like “I think, therefore I am disturbed”. This fits Rose even better, considering her scene with Teruko and Nico in the dress-up room. Don’t think I have to go too far in explaining this one.

III - Charles ~ If you doubt brittle things are broken

So, is this about his dead brother he doesn’t remember? As in, “if you doubt your memories, as they’re brittle, they’ll break? Or is this talking about the relationships between the cast? “Distrust will lead to our collapse”, sorta fits the talk he had with Teruko early in chapter 2.

However, I actually lean more towards the brother thing, because of the blue, long quote which is flipped upside down on top of the image.

“And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”

So, here’s where the Roman numerals become sorta weird. Does this count as part of Charles’ quote or not? I assume it’s at least related, especially seeing some of the other stuff we’ll see in the background.

Now, to the actual quote. I recognize it as a quote from the fox in “The Little Prince”, a book which if you have not read, you should honestly read. It’s a surprisingly sweet book to attach to Charles, but I can honestly see him blushing while talking about it, so it fits.

The quote itself is simple to understand; the material things in the world are not as important as our feelings, relationships, hopes, dreams, all that which can only be seen with the heart. This could be talking about the group’s relationships like I mentioned, but I lean more on thinking it’s referring to the memories of our loved ones, aka, Charles’ memories of his brother. Yes, the fact the quote starts by talking about secrets influences this interpretation.

IV - Arei ~ Right now, why do you cry?

Not much to talk about here. Arei’s the victim of this chapter, that’s why she cries. You can read into it a bit more and claim it has to do with Arei’s bullying of other people (“why are you crying, you wimp?” is something which could conceivably come out of her mouth), or more optimistically, it’s talking about how Arei used to only cry crocodile tears, but as she’s grown more empathetic, she now cries for her friends. Or some sappy shit like that.

Yeah, it’s still probably just about being the CH 2 victim.

V - Ace ~ Right now, why do you go insane? [flipped]

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda laughed a bit when I checked which character this one belonged to. Yeah, it’s pretty fitting, Ace is always going off for the most inane stuff.

More interesting is perhaps the background quote, “a cat has 9 additional lives”. Considering we’re talking about one of two people who’ve survived murder attempts so far, it makes sense, though I wonder if it’s going to come into play again later.

… Also, this just confirms in my mind the song from the playlist which belonged to Ace was “Yesman”. Undead, undead! and all that. I swear I’ll make a post about it eventually, I’m just more focused on this at the moment.

VI - Arturo ~ mind exercise 1 2 3 4

… Uh, well, as a surgeon, he do be exercising that mind though? Or something like that. Yeah, frankly I got nothing. This is just another moment where we Arturo enjoyers gotta take the L.

(Yes, I did just come out as an Arturo enjoyer-)

VII - J ~ Do it like that, let’s live together!

Another one I have no answer for. Like, what do you want me to say, this implies J’s the mastermind? Because it sort of does, seeing as she’s telling everyone to live together. But I really don’t see anything too interesting in the main quote.

However, the background quote may be more noteworthy. Anything in brackets is covered by something else but can be guessed with context.

“The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger”

Had to look this one up. J’s quote is from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” of all goddamn things. The Moral Law the quote is talking about is, from basic research in Google, some sort of unity of purpose; the idea that if the followers and the rules have the same interests, their side will have an advantage in war.

… What?

Yeah, this one’s a bit odd too. For now, my best answer is that it may have to do more with Mariabella than J herself. If you see Mariabella as a sort of leader, and her fans as the followers, it could be talking about how the combined pressure of Mariabella and the media overwhelm J, the “other side” of the “war”.

But if you’re really into the mastermind J idea, you can read it as “she’s the leader of the killing game, with the followers being the people at home that have the same purpose of wanting to see despair and keep the show running by watching”. But I really doubt we’d be getting this sort of mastermind allusions in an MV from chapter 2 of all things.

If anyone has better ideas on this quote or any other, I’d love to hear them.

VIII - Nico ~ even if i try to think, idk!

Another one I can’t talk too much about. My best guess as to what this means is “Nico tries to think about social cues, but doesn’t get it”. Relatable, but also nothing new. Maybe I’m missing something big, but it’s what I got for now.

IX - Levi ~ look, aside from the usual, give me that medicine

Disclaimer, the words don’t actually appear in that order in the MV, but this phrase makes a lot more sense than “look aside from that the usual medicine give me”.

I really don’t know what this means. I mean, I can guess Levi might take some medicine? Whit did say some people took prescriptions apparently. But I really don’t quite understand why this is the first time we’ve had his character associated with medicine.

EDIT: The last few paragraphs about Levi are dead wrong, I’m just leaving by them up so you can laugh at how stupid I was. Here’s a correction with a better analysis.

The background quote doesn’t make it much better. It’s just talking about the orbit of a thing, something something representative trajectory… something something Jupiter… something something 1930…

Oh shit, it’s about the discovery of Pluto! That’s what Google seems to think when I put those keywords in, anyways. Well, as fun an astronomy tale as that one is, I actually have no idea what it means for Levi’s character. I guess it’s something we’ll see in the future.

… Or maybe, crazy idea. You know how Pluto was first thought to be a “planet” but then got reclassified as”dwarf planet”? Maybe this means my theory is right: Levi will get “discovered” as the blackened of the second trial, but then “reclassified” as an accomplice when they find out Eden is actually-

Alright, I’ll stop. I’m joking, obviously… (unless?)

X - Min ~ Democratic-ly

Wait, hold on a second, you may say. That is an X, but it doesn’t really look like the rest of roman numerals font-wise. There are plenty of times X’s appear in the video aside from here, such as… well, the blank death portrait that’s always in the background.

And yes. To my joy, Min got given a bit of special treatment, since the roman numeral for ten, being an X and all, can be seen all throughout the video. However, there is one reason I believe this is absolutely Min’s X.

You see that tiny little 10 next to the X? That’s a footnote. And footnote number 10 is “The Roman numeral for 10 is X”. Of course, the reason we’re reminded of it here is because that X isn’t just a bunch of blood, it’s a Roman numeral.

Of course, Min gets the biggest numeral because she is just that much of a girlboss.

Anyways, numeral oddity aside, it’s pretty obvious why this is Min’s. The background text is just the description of the rules of a class trial, a trial where the outcome is decided democratically, and the reason Min died. This scene is directly followed by more references to class trials, which although they have some interesting implications for the MV as a whole, only help to solidify Min’s connection to her line.

As for other footnotes, footnote seventeen on the word “democratic-ly” is just an objective fact (“Not a real word. Can’t be found on any dictionary”), though the fact “democratically” is spelt wrong could be a reference to Min’s execution, where she was forced to get a lot of things wrong before dying.

Final note is footnote 12, on the class trial definition, which talks about majority rule and how, because it’s the fairest way to make decisions in a group, “murderers never complained when we voted for them to die”. There are implications here about the fact Teruko also received votes in the first trial, but for Min, there isn’t anything new here.

And yes, Min got three footnotes. As she should.

XI - Mai ~ God is dead

Honestly, I guessed who got this line before even checking the crossword. It just fits what we know of Mai too much. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to know she would get a line as dramatic as this. If you want a proper interpretation, Mai is sometimes treated like a god by the others considering the secret quotes, but now she’s dead or gone or something.

Of course, that’s the literal meaning of that phrase. When you look at it through the lens of Nietzsche (and Wikipedia to make sure I didn’t fuck up anything), the phrase “God is dead” refers to the idea that as christianity became increasingly non-universal, the ethical and sociocultural elements of society which had been built on it would be questioned and revised. So, “growing lack of faith causes shifts in the status quo”, or something like that. It’s something which, again, may fit Mai from what we know of her backstory. Someone everyone had unquestioned faith on, who did something which had consequences, so maybe that caused a breakdown of that original faith, or something? Anything involving this character is always extremely speculative, but I frankly think the more literal interpretation works better in this context.

In any case, this phrase is about as cryptic and dramatic as everything involving Mai, so it fits.

XII - Eden ~ ???: But you’re in my way, aren’t you?

… Alright, Eden, I know I believe you to be the CH 2 killer and all that, but you gotta at least try to defend yourself against the allegations! The hell is this?

In case anyone was wondering, I think she’s the killer who wants to get out to meet back up with the girl she kissed (who I’m starting to get convinced is Mai but I’m not ready for that conversation), so this line reads like something she’d say to Arei in that theory. However, it’d be kind of a weird thing to put in the MV before the chapter ends, and besides, there’s an interpretation I like more.

You see how there’s a triple question question mark there? There’s a chance someone is saying this to Eden. I’ll actually get back to this later, because I have to talk about XVI before I cover my theory on this. Apologies.

CW for XIII: Suicide

XIII - Teruko ~ or

… He. Alright, out of context, this is kinda funny. But if you let the MV play, it’s “… or not to be?”, from “To be or not to be?” Shakespeare and all that. That said, the video does, in fact, only keep the number on screen while it says “or”, so I choose to notate Teruko’s quote as just that. Also, as raspbeyes noted in their original post, the number thirteen is considered unlucky, so Teruko.

With that, I have to talk about how insanely dark it is to cut that phrase off at the “…or not to be” section. For anyone who hasn’t read this speech from Hamlet (which I hadn’t either, btw, had to look it up), the phrase “to be or not to be” is actually about suicidal ideation, with the word ‘be’ serving as a synonym for ‘live’. Therefore, cutting the phrase off at just this section leaves behind only suicide as the option.

It had already been implied Teruko has attempted suicide before (see: her telling Arei that failed hangings hurt a lot), and that her luck is the only thing keeping her alive. This just seems to imply it’s a much more present issue than we believed.

Then there’s the background text. From my research, the one on the left is a quote from “Murder on the Orient Express” and the one across the bottom is from “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”.

“Murder on the Orient Express” is easy to tie in, as it’s literally a murder mystery novel. Uh, spoilers for the novel, I guess, but it ends with the main detective, Poirot, concluding that the murderer was either no one in the train or everyone there. That sort of ties into Teruko’s hidden quote of “It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all”, I guess? For the line itself, it seems to be about a character hatefully looking at the detective. You can take Poirot to be Teruko because she’s decent at class trials (as opposed to everyone else being horrible at them), and the person looking at her to be… any blackened, or anyone, or David, take a pick.

“The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” is a bit weirder. It’s a short story about Omelas, an utopia which is the perfect life for everyone there, except for a young child who is forced to live in mysery for the sake of the others. The quote in the video expresses this pretty succinctly. I guess it’s talking about class trials? How the happiness of everyone hinges on one person being very unhappy? Teruko’s the protag, so it makes sense she gets a line like this. There could be other interpretations, but I think that’s the most straightforward one.

XIV - Veronika ~ Things like substance of the arts

I mean, it fits. Veronika’s talent is artistic in nature. It seems a bit… non-dramatic for Veronika? But I guess there’s nothing wrong here.

… Well, there may be, but I’ll get there in a moment.

XV - Whit ~ Remaining ignorant, isn’t that “happiness”?

(Trust me, that’s the order the words show up on screen)

This one’s also easy. Whit’s secret is “Your mother is dead. You omit this truth”. This, combined with his behavior in the killing game, characterizes Whit as someone who prefers to ignore tragedy rather than process it, remaining “ignorant” in a way. The footnote attached, 15, just talks about the phrase “ignorance is bliss”, which is pretty much what the quote is.

…

The problem is the background text.

Thinking Time: “Subtract 4 due to tetraphobia”

That’s the phrase in the background, which appears as both Veronika’s and Whit’s lines are there. This is noteworthy because this is the only time in the MV that two different Roman numerals appear on screen at the same time. The phrase is also attached to footnote 4, which defines tetraphobia:

“The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in Eastern Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number 4 can be read similar to the word ‘death’ in several languages”

This connection is further implied because the character with the Roman numeral IV is Arei, who died this chapter. There is special attention brought over and over again to the number four, and this phrase asks us to “subtract” it.

And of course, this phrase chooses to appear when two “characters” are on screen, to make sure we can’t figure it out definitively.

Let’s start with Veronika: If you substract four from fourteen you get ten (astounding maths, I know). That connects her to Min and “democratic-ly”… which is the part of the MV most related to class trials and the killing game. Because if there’s a way to look like the mastermind, you bet Veronika’s hopping right on that train!

Other than being “Veronika playing mastermind footsies” for the fiftieth time, and the fact she sorta enjoys class trials, I don’t see any other connection between her and Min’s section, so.

I should address, too, you can remove 4 from 14 in a more literal way, and end up with 1 (doing it with Roman numerals just gets you ten again). This would connect her to Xander, whose line I’ve yet to cover, but trust me on this, I don’t think it connects to Veronika.

However, that’s for the line itself. Veronika might actually have a connection to Xander himself, because of their lines about Mai. Xander’s is “she couldn’t stand to do nothing” and Veronika’s is “a girl who didn’t foresee the consequences”. These are the only lines which allude to whatever big thing Mai may have done. If Xander and Veronika have a connection, it is likely through Mai.

And then there’s Whit, who is also on-screen at the time. Or, well, his Roman numeral is.

Alright, Whit. Veronika’s being super suspicious, so the tetraphobia line has a good chance of being about her. All you gotta do is be normal about this “subtract four” thing, alright? Good.

When you subtract 4 from Whit’s 15, you get 11, which is Mai’s “God is dead”-

For fuck’s sake.

He really just can’t dodge these mastermind allegations, can he? Anyways, if this is about him, he killed Mai, or something, and thus is likely the mastermind.

I’m joking- well, kinda. There are other interpretations, like maybe he… was the first to lose faith in her, in the Nietzsche interpretation of Mai’s line? I don’t know, but the murder is the more straightforward answer for this, if you ask me.

The problem, of course, is that there’s no way to tell which character the “subtract four” thing applies to. Well, the use of the word “tetraphobia” feels more Veronika leaning, what with phobias being related with horror and psychology, but to counterbalance, the line only appears when Whit’s numeral shows up, so it’s even again.

Anyways, back to the last numeral in sequence.

XVI: Hu ~ ???: Go and cry

Alright, you don’t have to be so mean-

In all seriousness, I believe this relates to Hu’s reaction to David’s reveal. And possibly her secret if it’s the one Veronika has.

However, what’s interesting about this line is that it seems to be a direct quote from a character, because of the triple question mark at the beginning. And this is where my theory comes in.

I believe triple question marks is David. This would fit perfectly with this line, as it’s totally something David would say post-magical girl transformation. And with him being the protagonist of the MV, it makes sense for him to be involved.

And that takes me back to XII. If you remember, I said I would talk about Eden’s line a bit more after talking about XVI.

Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Eden’s line comes right after Hu’s in the video, so it’s reasonable to assume ??? is the same person for both of them. In other words, I believe it’s David who tells Eden “but you’re in my way, aren’t you?” This still implies Eden’s the CH2 blackened, by the way. As in, “you’re getting in my way because now I need to figure out a murder”, or something like that. There really isn’t any other thing it could be referring to. Unless it’s like, “you’re getting in my way because you’re so nice you’re preventing murders from happening” or “you’re getting in my way of manipulating Arei by befriending her”, but the first one is too abstract and the second one doesn’t work since David didn’t know about their friendship until after Arei died. So don’t go thinking I’m giving up on that theory. It just changes the context a bit.

-

And with that, we’ve successfully gone through the sixteen numbers. Except, wait! Don’t think I forgot about the funny British boy!

Well, to be frank with you, there is a reason why I chose to save Xander for last. And that is… I didn’t want to start the list with disappointment.

I - Xander ~ Inconclusive

See, the problem is that Xander runs into much the same issue as Min, but without a footnote to help solve the problem. The Roman numeral for 1 is just “I”, so any time the word I appears, Xander’s Roman numeral appears.

Now, maybe you think this is stupid. Obviously any time “I” appears as an actual word, it’s not meant to be Xander’s numeral! We just need to look for the time it’s not a part of the lyrics or a phrase in the text!

This is obviously the most intuitive solution, and it does arrive at… an answer. So, I present, the First Possibility.

First Possibility

I - Xander ~ (the world of abnormal sentiment dances)

Now, at first glance, this works! You have the numeral next to a phrase, and there’s nothing else it could be!

Except, the problem is that that only extends to the screenshot. In this part of the video, the same phrase is on the screen for a good few seconds, but the “I” disappears and gets replaced by several numbers, then the “&” symbol, more numbers, and what seems to be a “=“ sign, maybe? But could be II sideways. Don’t know, looks like code, not my expertise.

The issue here is that this would be the only time a character’s phrase lingers longer than their numeral. This is pretty inconsistent with the other phrases we’ve seen, which is what gets me to hesitate and wonder if that “I” is actually made to be part of the code and not the crossword thing.

That, combined with the line itself. Because what does “the world of abnormal sentiment dances” have to do with Xander? I looked it up, but it’s not the name of a book or anything. Maybe I’m missing something, but I really don’t think this is related to Xander in any way.

So, I looked for other possibilities. The problem is that, like I said, all other possibilities are part of lyrics or phrases, not a standalone numeral.

And yet, there is one which stands out to me as a good candidate. This has a high chance of being wrong, but I’ll bring it up anyways because I think it’s cool.

Second Possibility

I - Xander ~ I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate

… Well, I know it’s hard to read it in that clusterfuck, but that is what the red text says.

This line has a bit more to do with Xander, or at least, David’s feelings towards Xander. We know he probably did like him based on some scenes from the MV, but he’s sad about his death. He hates him for leaving, but his heart loves him anyways. That could be read as romantic or platonic… hesitant on the platonic-

That said, the problem is explaining why I believe this is the Xander line. And that comes down to the background text.

… Yes, that background text.

You see, in the MV, it slowly fills out in a way which lets you read it somewhat. I’ll tell you what each part of the text means, but if you want visuals, I’ll ask you go to the video.

What first appears is white text on top and the right. The white text on top is Big Clue #1, as it’s a definition of electrocution. You know, that thing Xander died from.

The text on the right, meanwhile, seems to be an excerpt from “Alice in Wonderland”. The specific passage seems to feature Alice lamenting how much “pleasenter” [sic] things were “back home”. And well, for everyone but Teruko, their homes were likelier “pleasenter” than the killing game. However, in this context, it could be an analogy to David missing the past, when Xander was still alive.

Then, more white text appears on the bottom as yellow text appears under the white text on top. The bottom text is, again, more talk of electrocution, but the yellow text is a bit more complex. This is the line (from Google, exact wording may vary):

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”

Another “The Little Prince” quote, another straight banger (I love that book). Imma need the hornier of you to not focus too much on the “taming” wording and focus on the important part. This one speaks of the beautiful simplicity of relationships; everyone is “just some dude” until you meet them and establish a relationship, and then, they become unique.

This is an especially wonderful quote for Xander and David’s relationship. David truly wanted nothing more than to be “a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes” instead of the idol Xander saw him as. He wanted a genuine relationship with him, where they were not just each other’s idols, but something bigger; each other’s boyfriends :D

Alright, sappy stuff aside, this quote is related to Xander, that’s what you need to know.

Then there’s the big pink text. It says “note: can’t read”. Yeah, fair.

But before that note appears, some cyan text begins sprawling out. It’s not a quote from anything as far as I can tell, so here’s a transcript:

“…man crushed by reality puts on a s[how]…

…[of end]urance. If that’s beyond your

[com]prehension, dear reader, then you a[nd]…

[I’ll n]ever understand each other. Life’s…

[short?] so we might as well make it…

[count?] real life is a realm th…”

So, yeah, I’m sort of guessing half the words here, and I can’t even tell what the last line is, but I think we can get the gist from this. Reading this with the context that Xander’s probably connected, it’s easy to figure out. David was crushed by reality when Xander died, and he put on a show of endurance after that. The insult to the reader is a bit uncalled for, but I don’t particularly care, it fits David.

So, with the idea that this little breakdown is related to Xander, it’s safe to say the line “I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate” (not a quote from anywhere I could find btw) is linked with Xander as well.

And, well. There are other references to Xander, but they’re never paired with an “I”. And there are other instances of the word “I”, but never in relation to Xander, at least not as much as this little breakdown.

This clusterfuck of text also forms directly after the crosswords shows up. And while most of these aren’t in chronological order, number II through V do. Wouldn’t it make sense for I to appear right after the crosswords and make I through V in chronological order?

In any case, I believe this is a decent alternative to the “world of abnormal sentiment dances”, whatever that means.

Conclusion

This was really fun! I am satiated for now, the content drop was awesome, I loved it a lot. There’s so much more I want to talk about in this MV, but this was priority number one in my mind.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve your own Roman numeral, all for yourself! Take care!

[cheezecakeee]

seventeen as taylor swift songs🫧 (angst ver.) part 1

part 2

main masterlist | seventeen masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

╰┈➤S.coups: Wonderland

"Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me, I should've slept with one eye open at night" "So we went on our way, too in love to think straight, all alone, or so it seemed. But there were strangers watching and whispers turned to talking and talking turned to screams," "Oh, darling, we found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it and we pretended it could last forever, we found Wonderland, you and I got lost in it and life was never worse but never better," "I reached for you but you were gone, I knew I had to go back home. You search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had and in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad."

╰┈➤Jeonghan: Getaway car

"It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face but you weren't thinkin' and I was just drinkin'. While he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', "Go, go, go!", but with three of us, honey, it's a sideshow and a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry. "X" marks the spot where we fell apart, He poisoned the well, every man for himself. I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed, it hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart" "You were drivin' the getaway car, we were flyin', but we'd never get far. Don't pretend it's such a mystery, think about the place where you first met me. Ridin' in a getaway car, there were sirens in the beat of your heart. Should've known I'd be the first to leave, think about the place where you first met me" "We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, until I switched to the other side, to the other side. It's no surprise I turned you in 'cause us traitors never win. I'm in a getaway car, I left you in a motel bar, put the money in a bag and I stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me" "I was ridin' in a getaway car, I was cryin' in a getaway car, I was dyin' in a getaway car, said goodbye in a getaway car"

╰┈➤Joshua: Betty

"But if I just showed up at your party would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden? In the garden, would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only 17, I don't know anythin' but I know I miss you" "I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playin' from the far side of the gym I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that... plus, I saw you dance with him. You heard the rumors from Inez, you can't believe a word she says most times but this time, it was true. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you." "The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you. So I showed up at your party... Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only 17, I don't know anythin' but I know I miss you. Standin' in your cardigan, kissin' in my car again, stopped at a streetlight. You know I miss you"

╰┈➤Jun: Red

"Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly. Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all" "Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong" "Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes tell myself it's time now gotta let go, but moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red. Burning, it was red" "Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known. Missing him was dark gray, all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, 'cause loving him was red" ""And that's why he's spinning 'round in my head comes back to me, burning red. His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street"

╰┈➤ Hoshi: Ronan

"I remember your blue eyes looking into mine like we had our own secret club. I remember you dancing before bedtime then jumping on me, waking me up, I can still feel you hold my hand, little man and even the moment I knew, you fought it hard like an army guy. Remember I leaned in and whispered to you?" "What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you? And what if I kept the hand-me-downs you won't grow into? And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through? What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you?" "Come on, baby, with me, we're gonna fly away from here. Come on, baby, with me, we're gonna fly away from here. You were my best four years. I remember your bare feet down the hallway. I love you to the moon and back"

╰┈➤ Wonwoo: Mirrorball

"I want you to know, I'm a mirrorball. I'll show you every version of yourself tonight. I'll get you out on the floor, shimmering beautiful and when I break it's in a million pieces." "And they called off the circus, burned the disco down when they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns. I'm still on that tightrope, I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me. I'm still a believer but I don't know why, I've never been a natural all I do is try, try, try; I'm still on that trapeze, I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me" "Hush, ehen no one is around, my dear. You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near but I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love. Shining just for you"

╰┈➤ Woozi: This is me trying

"I've been having a hard time adjusting, Ihad the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that. Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, could've followed my fears all the way down and maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway" "They told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that. I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere, fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey," "And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound, it's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town" "And I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying; and maybe I don't quite know what to say. I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying. At least I'm trying"

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

[pixeldistractions]

And please, God, let me have this, Maria prayed sometimes. Granted, she was well aware that praying for a man was probably far beneath an almighty being’s concerns. But this, specifically, she needed this. What she felt for Jordan was special and gentle and pure, and she’d been alone now for years because no man she’d ever met could match what she felt for this one.

“You don’t talk about him much,” Jordan said.

“Oh, talk about who?” Maria was still lost in delightful reverie.

“Your husband.”

Funny how Maria didn’t want to think about her dead husband at all when she was with Jordan.  

“What was he like? Like, what kind of guy was he? I mean, unless it makes you sad to think about or something.”

Jordan seemed genuinely interested to know, so she told him. “Oh, no, it’s okay. It’s not too sad anymore. Well, he was an officer in the Air Force. He was only a couple of years older than me, but he always seemed so grown up. Like, he was probably even grown up as a little kid. He liked classical music and tennis and crossword puzzles. Um, he wasn’t super religious or anything, but he always went to church, like it was something he felt he need to do. He volunteered. And he was really good at saving money.”

Jordan nodded. “The kind of guy who has all his shit together.”

Maria shrugged. “I guess he did. He didn’t need me for anything.”

“Don’t say that,” Jordan said. “People have all kinds of needs.”

“Okay, maybe he enjoyed hearing me play my violin.” 

“You never told me you play violin.”

“I guess because I don’t play much anymore. It was a long time ago. I’m out of practice now. I lost track of it when we got married, then I had Johanna, then the war and everything… and now here I’ve come to my final resting place.”

Jordan laughed. “Yikes.”

“Well, I’m a single mom, you know. Who wants all that baggage?”

“She’s a kid, not a prison sentence.”

“Are we talking about the same kid? That kid over there with rabies?”

Johanna clicked away at the keyboard. On her game, a tiger roared.  

“Even that kid,” Jordan said.

“Well, anyway, I don’t even remember how to date. It’s rough out there. Stephanie invited me to this wedding as a guest, plus one. I don’t even know who I’d ask. I don’t even know people, except my lesbian neighbors on one side, and the elderly couple on the other side. And the people here at work. Unless, maybe, you’re not doing anything tomorrow night...”

He smiled kindly. “I’m on the roster as staff.”

“Oh, right,” she said. “Damn. You should have been nicer to Stephanie.”

“Next time, for sure.”

“Stephanie’s next wedding?”

“Ha ha. I mean, you know, anyone’s.”

What on earth? Did he just say he’d go to a theoretical someday wedding with her? It made her heart race and her mind bend into twists trying to figure it out.

“Sorry, the kids were distracting you,” she said. “I bet you have a lot of work to finish.”

Not work to finish with Ingrid, she meant.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I need to find something for lunch anyway.” 

“I’ll make you some lunch. I was going to whip something up for Johanna anyway. It’s the least I can do. For looking out for my little feral animal. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

He took a seat at the counter next to Johanna. She was playing a computer game about matching animals to their habitats. “Hey Jo Jo, what kind of animal are you?”

“I’m a wolverine, grrr!”

Jordan laughed. “I believe you.”

— from “my sweetheart #3: feral” (7/7)

Next ->

[aliwritesfic]

The Night Shift (pt 1) (Frankie Morales x F!Reader)

So, if you've been here a while this might be familiar. I've decided to rewrite all my stuff starting with TNS, because 1. it was going nowhere, 2. I feel I've grown a lot as a writer, and 3. I was unhappy with my writing. This will be updated slowly with uni and my new job, as well as edits ect. The first few chapters will be similar to the first few of the OG TNS but it will diverge a lot.

Reader is named, but physical descriptions are kept to a minimum, but they are white coded. There will be eventual smut.

This story will contain a lot of mature themes, such as abusive relationships, PTSD, drugs & alcohol, depression, anxiety. This will be the only warning I give, if you can't handle those things please don't read.

Anyways.

Summary: Frankie has taken the job as the overnight cook at Lou’s Diner, where you work as the overnight waitress. Attraction slowly grows between you, despite both your best efforts.

W/C: 1.6k

Part 2

Coffee pooled warm in your stomach, sending waves of comfort through your body. The diner was void of customers save for a single man sitting at the counter sipping his coffee and slowly working his way through yesterday's crossword. The man was a regular, but you had never learned his name.

“Five letter word for beg,” he said as you refilled his near-empty up.

You thought for a moment. “Plead?”

The man nodded approvingly as he wrote it down. “You’re a doll.” You shook your head, feeling more Cabbage Patch Kid than Barbie, and made your way to the window that separated the kitchen from the rest of the diner. The clock above the window read 4:17AM, only another hour and thirteen minutes until you clocked off. Not that you were counting.

“Want a drink?”

Manny Ortiz sat on an empty milk crate by the door, long skinny legs stretched out before him. The cook was your only consistent company after 9 PM, when everyone else left for the night, and he had been for the past four years you had worked the night shift at Lou’s Twenty-Four Hour Diner. Tonight however was his last shift, and you still had yet to meet his replacement. Secretly you were hoping for Josh from the day crew; he was easy to get along with and even easier on the eyes. Plus he gave you a discount on weed when he was in a good mood.

“You know how I like it, lover!” he called back, using his old nickname for you. He had been calling you that for the past three years, ever since a rumour had swirled about the two of you fucking nightly in the cool-room. Manny had quickly put those rumours to bed after introducing the day crew to his now-husband.

You made a mug for him, adding five spoons of sugar and an amount of cream that made your stomach ache. Once you had asked why he didn’t just drink a soda instead, Manny had told you that soda made him gassy in a non-fun way. You had decided to not pry any further into that, lest you find out something you didn’t want to.

“It’s here for you,” you said, placing the steaming mug on the window. Manny got up with a loud, dramatic groan, clutching at his lower back.

“I’m gonna miss your coffee,” he said, taking a long sip of the sugary concoction. You wrinkled your nose and stuck out your tongue.

“It’s not going anywhere,” you said. I’m not going anywhere. You would probably work at this place until you retired or your body gave out. You weren’t like Manny - you had no idea what you wanted to do with your life, no skills or extra intelligence that could take you anywhere meaningful.

Manny cupped his chin in his hands and gave you an innocent, doe-eyed gaze. Anyone else would have been fooled, but you knew there was nothing innocent about this man. “So.”

“So,” you repeated with a raise of your brow, knowing that this was his way of wanting to gossip with you.

“The new guy.”

“It’s definitely a new guy? Not a day crew person?”

“I know you had your heart set on Josh.” Manny clucked sympathetically. “But you’ve got a Frankie, and that’s even better.”

“Who the fuck is Frankie?”

“It’s in the group chat!”

Of course, you were the last to find out about who Manny’s replacement would be. Ethan had asked you to leave the workgroup chat last year, saying that the constant buzzing of your phone annoyed him. You didn’t have the energy to have that argument with him, so you did, much to Manny’s annoyance.

“I showed him the ropes when you were sick last week. He’s pretty good . . . not as good as me though, so don’t even think about replacing me as the number one diner cook in your heart.”

“Number one diner cook and now the number one high school history teacher.” Your chest swelled with pride as you spoke, remembering how hard Manny had worked to be able to achieve this. Endless nights spent revising, his textbooks and laptops perched on whatever empty spot in the kitchen he could find. More than anything you admired his determination, the pure drive for something better that fueled Manny Ortiz.

The door tingled with the sound of a customer, leaving your conversation with Manny to be resumed later. You glanced up at the clock again, a habit that you really needed to break.

Only an hour and two minutes left.

Not that you were counting.

~

Manny waited by his car with his keys in one hand and a cigarette in the other. When he stood like that, with dark circles under his eyes highlighting his prominent cheekbones and the casual confidence of someone too tired to give a fuck, you thought he probably could’ve been a model for one of those high fashion houses.

“Let’s get you home one last time,” he said.

You sat down in the passenger seat, the cracked leather had practically molded to your form.

“Can I tell you something?” your voice was hesitant.

Manny nodded, shooting you a look of concern. “What’s up?”

You cleared your throat, wondering how best to word what you wanted to say without coming across as needy and insecure. “Do you think you’ll still wanna hang with me once you’ve made friends with all the other smart people?”

“Are you being serious right now? Like are you actually being dead serious? Because you know I’m not good at telling when people are joking.”

“Hundred percent serious.”

“Lover, you are one of my best friends. You’re closer to me than my own sister, nothing is going to change that. And for the fucking record, you’re already one of the smart people I hang out with, even if you say some stupid ass shit.”

“I love you,” you said, settling back into your seat.

“I love you too, dickhead,” Manny squeezed your hand. “Jesus, are you crying?”

“I’m sorry!” you choked on a sob. “I’m just gonna miss you so much!”

Manny pulled over outside your apartment complex, a towering building of dirty grey. “We’re seeing each other in a week! Get a hold of yourself!” Manny felt deeply uncomfortable with ‘too much emotion’.

“It’s not gonna be the same.”

“Of course it’s not, no one can emulate me, but honey. . .” Manny wiped away one of your tears, “this new guy, Frankie, he doesn’t seem too bad. You might even get along with him. Now, look at me. Look, change is really hard for both of us, but we’re seeing each other soon. And if you don’t stop crying Ethan is going to notice and probably cause a fight about it.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. Manny was right, as usual, about all of it. This wasn’t the end of the world, even if in your fatigued state it felt like it, and if Ethan found out that you were crying because Manny was moving on to bigger and better things . . . he’d probably speak to you in that way that made you feel so small and stupid. He didn’t mean to make you feel like that, but he just never understood why you would sometimes tear up at the drop of a hat. You felt like if the shoe was on the other foot, you would have found it as annoying as Ethan did. Really, you felt lucky he hadn’t dumped your sensitive ass.

Giving Manny a kiss on his cheek, you hopped out into the cool Fall air, shivering inside your coat. Blowing a final kiss to his car, you stepped inside the old lobby.

~

Frankie knew exactly what it was that drew him to the job at the diner. When he had seen the posting advertised on a board, he knew immediately he wanted that job. Long night hours, hard work, it would leave him exhausted. Exhaustion meant he didn’t dream; when he didn’t dream he didn’t have nightmares.

When he had stepped inside the diner for the first time to meet Lou, the grizzled owner who was missing three teeth and his left eye, Frankie felt like the place would fit him perfectly.

Lou sat him down in one of the booths and explained that there were really only three rules if he wanted to work there; Number one was do not harass any of the staff, sexually or otherwise. Simple enough to follow, Frankie figured, for any decent human. The second rule was not to steal from the registers. Staff got food and coffee for free, within reason. And the third was to try to avoid fighting with customers, but Lou would understand if it was necessary. Fights were sometimes unavoidable at three in the morning.

Lou had hired Frankie on the spot, citing a good feeling (and a lack of other applicants), and told Frankie to come back that night for training by the departing cook.

Manny had ran him through procedures for the rest of that week, setting Frankie at ease that he likely wouldn’t burn the whole place down within his first night of working.

“Marissa isn’t usually the night waitress,” Manny had explained during one of his frequent smoke breaks. “But Junie is sick with the flu, so we’re stuck with her.”

“Junie?”

“June,” Manny clarified, “but I get to call her Junie because we’re in love. She’s every good thing wrapped into one person, you’ll like her.”

Frankie nodded, but Manny didn’t offer any further information on June. He would have to wait another week until his first shift until he got to meet who he assumed would be a sweet older woman close to retirement.

[cowboyjen68]

Howdy Jen!

We all get tangled up in our personal lives, especially when it’s a new relationship, so I just wanted to know-

How do you find a balance between your time with your partner and your other hobbies/activities (such as organizing in the community?)

Aka, how do you stop fucking long enough to actually put that wonderful lesbian energy towards other important things in the little free time we have? 🤔

I am still deeply in love with my ex, but we found, almost a year ago, that we could not live together and long distance was just too hard on her heart. We are still best friends and working very hard to adjust our intense connection to friendship.

When we were together we, especially me, were very careful to set aside limited times to be on our phone or computer. I can do some stuff at my jobs so often I was able to film tiktoks or write for tumble away from home so It had no afffect on us.

Neither of us are big texters, even when we were together but lived apart . We both preferred time with each other or letters. When we were both home we mostly loved time and focus to be on each other. That was not hard for me. I was happy to turn off my phone and be wholly present with her. She means everything to me and and second I could I wanted to be really with her.

We had a highly passionate relationship but the stress of life meant we sometimes were just as happy to cuddle and talk and make plans. Pillow talk was our favorite pastime after quiet morning of coffee or doing a crossword I

In the evenings or on the rare afternoon when rain or bad weather had us "trapped" inside I would write while she work on her art. She is a talented artist who does everything from bead work to painting and I found if I pulled out my computer or pen and paper she would pull out a project. I took great joy in, peering away from my screen to watch her deep in concentration creating something because THAT is what gives her great happiness.

Now that I am single I am juggling my kid, my animals, my land and three jobs plus volunteering to help others on things such as moving or lawn care or just small projects they need help with. After 7 years I am trying to get others to take over the board I am on. The three remaining original board members, including myself are tired and can't give out all anymore. Our priorities have shifted and, frankly, we have served longer than we should have.

I still am careful to balance being on line with life. I write in the early mornings or maybe a little at night if I can get to bed early enough. I film tiktoks while out at about with very little editing. I am considering re starting the use of my youtube channel in colder weather, we shall see. My priority now is paying off debt, getting ahead on my crappy credit score and refinancing my house. I am raising a 16 year old and MAKE time to hang out with her or talk.

I try to ride or brush or hang with my horses a few times a week but often fail at that. I end up on yard projects or working in the barn.

I write letters to my former girlfriend and she continues to inspire me to imrove my life and create new goals.

I got "off grid" for almost two weeks at festivals this summer to recharge myself and not worry about my phone other than some check on my family and home. That was good for me. I met many new friends and hung out with old friends. I wrote with pen and paper and brought home notes for new ideas and ready to bring even more lesbian positivity to the world.

My love for her makes me miss the physical passion but my heart is grateful we had the time we did and I am so happy our friendship remained and is stronger than I thought possible. She helped me to learn a balance. What I can take on and what I can't. She made me see what is important to me and how to look forward with hope and not feel overwhelmed.

I still don't have much free time but I don't waste a second of it when it arrives.

[hermannsthumb]

Maria. *Grabs your face* MARIA. I would LOVE to see 15 bobbing for apples from the autumn fic meme written by you. Nothing would delight me more!

Anonymous asked: Halloween prompt #15 please!!... "Bobbing for apples but we meet accidentally underwater lady and the tramp style." OR "I thought we'd have fun bobbing for apples but you actually hate it and are really mad now"

15. Bobbing For Apples

from autumn fic prompts here

KATE ❤️__ ❤️for you id write anything... and anon the lady and the tramp scenario is so fucking funny/good

---------------------------

It’s a really good thing that Hermann has Newt, because if Newt’s being honest, he has no damn clue what the poor dude would do without him. Work himself to death, probably. Or spend every Saturday night alone in his bunk. So depressing. Newt considers it his big charitable act of—well, of all time—to force Hermann into social functions, whether it's fun nights out at the bar (with Newt!), or down the hall a few feet for awesome movie marathons in Newt’s quarters (with Newt!), or something like tonight, which is a super awesome and fun Halloween party that, like, everyone on the base was invited to (including Newt!).

Hermann was all set to spend another night alone (probably changing the batteries in all his calculators or rearranging the hangers in his closet) when Newt dragged him out, more or less by the collar of his argyle sweater, with multiple threats to make his life a living hell the following week in the lab if he didn't comply immediately. "Seriously, dude," Newt had said, ominously, while Hermann looked at him like a furious cat ready to take a swipe, "you're gonna put in those vampire fangs and get drunk with me, or you're gonna regret it. I mean it." Newt was not opposed to blasting the shittiest depths of his Spotify account over his bluetooth speakers or using Hermann's favorite coffee mug to hold his dissection tools. Luckily for both of them, Hermann decided the risk wasn't worth it.

Newt knows Hermann is bound to recognize how selfless Newt is being and thank him for it eventually. Probably. Maybe a few years from now. For now, Newt is enjoying the warm and fuzzy feeling of having done a good deed, and also of drinking a considerable amount of spiked punch.

Hermann is not enjoying either.

"I did, in fact, have plans for tonight," he tells Newt, sipping his ginger ale and observing Newt with a fierce scowl. He flat-out refused the booze Newt tried to push on him. It's fine, whatever—it's enough for Newt, right now anyway, that he actually came. They'll work up to bigger stuff like that later.

"Like what?" Newt says. "Doing a crossword puzzle and watching the second half of that boring-ass documentary you put on last weekend?"

Newt considers it an affront to the very concept of movie nights that Hermann used his pick on a documentary, and one about the jaeger program that didn't even bother interviewing him, no less. Newt loves a good documentary, don't get him wrong, but movie nights are for escapist shit. You don't see him switching on Godzilla. Plus, having to watch stock footage of Dr. Gottlieb Sr. blabbing his mouth about how smart he was while you were debating making a move on his son (who was currently in you bed, looking super cute in your sweatpants, because he'd forgotten to pack pj's) was kind of a mood-killer. "It wasn't boring," Hermann sniffs, which tells Newt that his guess was dead-on. "It was...interesting. And anyway, just because they aren't your idea of plans..."

"Okay, whatever," Newt says. "Let's just have fun. That's the point of a party."

He throws an arm around Hermann's shoulder and drags him closer, until their heads knock together painfully. He hears Hermann growl low in his throat. Newt doesn't say, soon, we won't have the time to do stupid shit like this anymore, so we should enjoy it while we can, even though he wants to. It's better to not make fun stuff depressing. Plus, Hermann might decide to take that as an invitation to bail and put on his documentary. Instead he reaches up across Hermann and flicks his chin. Hermann's whole body stiffens. "I can't believe I got you into this super awesome party and you're not even pretending to be thankful," Newt says.

With no great deal of difficulty, Hermann pushes Newt off of him. Newt lands heavily back in his chair, making the whole thing wobble, and he laughs as he just manages to catch himself from falling off the other side. "You got me in?" Hermann says. "Newton, I was invited three weeks ago."

Newt stops laughing. "You were?"

"Yes," Hermann says. The corner of his lip twitches up, with a smugness so powerful Newt can feel it radiating off of him in waves. Bastard. "I took it upon myself to ask if you might be permitted to come, too." He adds, sarcastically, "Out of the kindness of my heart. I know how terribly put out you get when you aren't included in these sorts of things."

Newt considers this new information, and then discards it, because it really doesn't fit the image of himself he's been cultivating as the cool, hip friend to Hermann's uncool, unhip nerd. Like, come on, between the two of them, Newt is obviously the one you'd want at your party. Hermann's gotta be kidding. Probably. Maybe. "It's a lame party anyway," Newt mumbles.

He tries to put his arm around Hermann's shoulder again, remembers that Hermann really didn't like that the first time, and then drops it back down at his side instead. "Totally lame," he continues. Newt recalls the Halloween parties of his youth with a warm, fond glow: elaborate costumes, tacky decorations, passing around bowls of peeled grapes in the dark, carving jack-o-lanterns while his dad hovered protectively over him to make sure he didn't take a finger off with the knife. This is none of that. Barely anyone even dressed up! The lack of Halloween spirit is tragic. "There aren't even any party games."

"Yes there are," Hermann says, mildly.

He points across the room at a large metal tub that Newt somehow missed before. It looks like it's filled with water, and...

"Dude," Newt says.

He doesn't wait to ask before he's hopping to his feet and dragging Hermann along after him by his blazer cuff. Hermann swats at his heels a few times with his cane, but eventually—like he does with most of Newt's ideas—gives in. "I'm a fuckin' champ at bobbing for apples," Newt boasts. "I used to—oops, excuse me," (he runs into two guys who are, like, twice his height, upsetting their drinks, and he hears Hermann groan as something purple spills on his sweater), "I used to always win it at the fall fest when my dad would take me." And then when he went back as an adult by himself, but it was less impressive a win when you were up against a bunch of ten-year-olds.

"You do have an exceptionally large mouth," Hermann says, rubbing at his stained shoulder. "I suppose that helps." As Newt bends to investigate the iron tub, he says, "Oh, Newton, don't, it's been out all night. Who knows what sorts of germs are in there?"

Newt gets to his knees and rolls up the sleeves of his PPDC-issued labcoat. He's a mad scientist to Hermann's vampire (vampire librarian?) tonight. Yeah, it's kind of a lazy costume, but it was free—he already had everything he needed in the lab. "I can get it in five seconds, max," he declares. His record is one second, but he's the first to admit he's a little rusty, and he'd rather impress Hermann by beating his estimate. "Will you hold my headlamp?"

Grumbling, Hermann takes it. Newt sets his glasses on the ground. "You're going to get yourself bloody soaking," Hermann says, and then he complains about something else, too, but Newt is screwing his eyes shut and ducking his head into the tub, which makes it difficult to hear him. One second—two seconds—two and a half—Newt emerges victorious from the tub, teeth clenched down firmly on an apple, and accidentally splatters a large amount of water on Hermann's shoes. He pulls the apple out of his mouth with a grin and waves it at Hermann. "See. I'm a fucking pro."

He tucks his glasses back on his face to discover that Hermann is staring at him with a very strange expression on his face. Newt can't decide if it's the blacklight bulbs overhead that are washing him out and making him look so flushed, or something else entirely. Then, in a second, he's grumpy and scowling and tsking over his wet shoes. "A pro," he echoes. "Hardly. It can't be that complicated."

Newt gestures grandly at the tub and takes a bite out of his apple. Hermann can always be relied upon to never turn down a challenge, especially when it means making Newt look—potentially—stupid. Newt uses it to his advantage often. Whatever it takes to help the guy have a good time. "It's all yours, dude."

Hermann grumbles something again about Newt being too arrogant for his own good, and something else about showing Newt how to do it without making a mess of everything, then gets down to his knees with a quiet hiss of discomfort. He shoves his cane, and Newt's headlamp, at Newt, though bewilderingly leaves his blazer on. "I'll be just a moment," he says, and dunks his head into the tub.

He splashes back up no more than five seconds later. Apple-less. "Bugger," he coughs, and then coughs some more. The entire front of his sweater is soaked. "I didn't—I didn't start out right. Let me—"

Newt watches Hermann try to drown himself a few more times in mild interest before he finally intercedes. "Need a hand?" he says, getting to his knees next to Hermann.

"No," Hermann splutters.

Newt takes his glasses off again. "Yeah, you do. Okay, now watch me—"

He emerges with another apple in seconds.

Hermann grits his teeth. "Newton—"

"One more?" Newt says, his grin widening.

Back under. Another apple. He winks at Hermann when he goes in for a fourth time, and this time, he feels the water of the tank being upset as Hermann (refusing to be outdone once again) splashes in alongside him. God, Newt loves riling Hermann up like this—he gets so funny, and kinda cute, when he's mad about something. Red in the face, and scowling, and sometimes (when he's real mad) speaking in a dangerously low and rough sort of voice with his r's rolling that makes Newt shiver, just a little. Like, Newton, you worthless, pathetic little man, cease this immediately, or else I'll... He actually said that to Newt once. It made Newt feel a little warm under his collar. Hermann's probably going to say something similar to him this time, and Newt can't wait.

Ten seconds in. Newt has been cutting Hermann a little slack at first, just to see if he can catch up, but finally decides to just go for the apple that's been bobbing steadily against his mouth this whole time. (He loves beating Hermann at stuff.)

And, well, apparently Hermann goes for it too.

They both miss the apple. Newt's mouth is up against Hermann's for another five seconds before he realizes what's happening (that that is definitely not an apple, that that is definitely a mouth, that that mouth is wide and weird another to belong to only one person Newt knows, that that mouth is parting in surprise, oh my God) and then he pulls away so quickly that he breathes in what feels like half the tub of water. He falls back on his ass, coughing furiously, and it's not until he shoves his glasses back on with a shaking hand that he realizes that Hermann has done the same. "I," Hermann says. His eyes are wide. "I'm sor—"

"It's fine," Newt squeaks.

"It was—"

"I know!"

Newt and Hermann's mouths were touching for five whole seconds. Underwater, while apples bobbed against their foreheads, but their mouths still touched. Oh my God. In elementary school, Newt thinks dizzily, that would be enough to catch cooties. This was so not how he wanted his awesome eventual seduction of Hermann to go down. For one thing, it wasn't even a seduction.

"I'm gonna get a towel," Newt says.

Hermann nods. He looks strangely adorable with water droplets on his nose and his hair plastered to his head like that. Newt has to get out of here before he does something stupid, like take Hermann's pointy cheeks between his hands and put their mouths together on purpose. He doesn't think Hermann would respond to that very well right now.

"I'll get you one too," Newt says, and it takes a lot of effort to force himself to his feet.

Hermann nods again.

"Okay," Newt says, and stumbles away. Out of the corner of his eye, he just catches Hermann raising a hand to his mouth.

[justthehiddleswrites]

Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 4 | You should worry about the people you care about. I mean, I worry about you all the time.

A/N:  Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed).  It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will.  Keep your hate to yourself.  

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)

Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt.  Tom has an idea to solve all their problems.  Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts.  Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else.  In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?

This Chapter: Molly is making friends and life is settling into a routine until Molly gets sick and Tom takes care of her.  

Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of:  child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.

TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!  THANK YOU FOR READING!

–

Molly left that afternoon with two new numbers in her phone and a lunch date for next week.

“Can’t believe you are having lunch with my mother and sister without me.” Tom pouted on the way back.

“Once they heard I wasn’t working and didn’t know anyone, they insisted. Was I supposed to say no?” 

“You could have scheduled it when I could come.” 

“But you are so busy. And talented.” She poked his side. 

“I’m driving here, darling.”

“Sorry, but just one question…” They pulled up to a red light.”

“What?”

“Are you ticklish?” she attacked his side and Tom squirmed and giggled.

“You will be the death of me.” He panted as Molly stopped when the light was green.

“Note to self. Tom is very ticklish.” 

“No, no notes to self. That is something you can promptly forget.”

Molly batted her eyelashes. “But real husbands and wives would know these things about each other. We have to pull this off for an entire year, right?”

“Fine, but expect revenge.” Tom wagged a finger at Molly. 

“I’ll sleep with one eye open.” 

-

Over the next several weeks, Tom and Molly fell in a routine. The marriage certificate came in the mail and they applied for a family visa for Molly to stay there.

“I didn’t think you would want to become a citizen.”

Molly smirked. “No, not right now.”

A new debit card came in for Molly. 

“With great power…” Tom handed it over.

“Yeah, yeah, Loki.” she tucked into her wallet. “I am burdened with glorious purpose. To keep you well fed.” 

Molly had a standing date with Emma every two weeks, much to Tom’s consternation. They continued running together in the mornings. Tom, more often than not, ended it with a kiss. 

“This is becoming quite the nasty habit, Mr. Hiddleston.” she commented one morning.

“Then stop me, Mrs. Hiddleston.” He pecked her lips again. 

Molly blushed. “You just love what they are saying about us in the papers.” She pushed Tom away and towards the door. 

“I will admit the good news is definitely a perk. Plus, you are such lovely company.” He went to hug her, but she pushed him away.

“You are all sweaty, Tom. Take a shower and I will make breakfast.”

“French toast?” he asked hopefully.

“You ate the last of the bread yesterday.” 

“Pancakes?”

“I think I can swing pancakes, if…” She held up a finger. “You also eat a side of fruit.”

“Deal.” Tom headed towards his room wearing a huge grin. 

Molly shook her head as she grabbed a mixing bowl out. “Lunatic.”

-

One morning, Molly wasn’t awake when Tom got up to run. She almost always beat Tom up, sipping a cup of tea in the living room, reading a magazine or one of the books from his shelf. There was a small stack building on a side table of the ones she finished reading. But that morning, no half-drunk cup of tea perched precariously on the coffee table. No crossword puzzle half done in pen. 

Tom peaked into Molly’s bedroom. The covers, in colors of navy and grey, just like his, pulled up tight around her. There were a few prints of classic travel posters on the wall. 

“Molly, darling.” He called out. Usually that was all it took to roust Molly from her sleep and get her going for the day. Today, nothing. Tom stepped into the room. He felt like an intruder in his own home. 

“It’s time for our run, love.” He said a bit louder this time. 

Molly rolled over, groaning and coughing. Tom’s brow furrowed. He didn’t like the sound of that cough. Tom sat down on the edge of the bed and rocked Molly gently by the shoulder.

“Are you feeling okay, darling?” He hoped it was just allergies or waking up in the morning. But then she woke up.

“Uggh, Tom?” Molly croaked out before rolling onto her back. She was pale. So much more pale than usual. She coughed again, covering her mouth. 

“It’s me, Molly. Are you feeling alright?” He repeated. “That’s some cough.”

“I’m fine, fine. It’s just,” She waved him off and pushed up to sitting, only to fall back onto the pillows. “oh, that’s not good.” 

Tom placed the back of his hand to her forehead and replaced it with his lips, checking her temperature. She was running hot. 

“You have a fever. I’m making you an appointment to see the doctor.” He stood, but Molly caught his wrist. Her palm clammy against Tom’s skin.

“No! It’s just a cold. Go on your run. I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep.” She insisted.

“Are you sure? It’s no trouble.” 

“Go. I’ll be fine.”

Tom leaned down and kissed her very warm forehead. “I’ll keep it short. Go back to sleep.”

Molly nodded and rolled over. Tom tucked the covers around her and headed out. He barely made it to the end of the street before he returned home. It confirmed his fears when he stepped back inside and heard Molly coughing. Tom grabbed the phone and searched for a number and called it.

“Yes, Urgent Care? Do you have any appointments today? Name? Molly Hiddleston. Thank you.”

-

Tom helped Molly get dressed, averting his eyes when appropriate. Her entire body burned under his fingertips, but Tom noticed her shivering. She stumbled to the car where she slept the entire ride over to urgent care. Tom did his best to fill out the paperwork.

“What do you put for family history?”

“Nothing. Unless there is a place for mental illness, then check that. That’s all I know about. Mom didn’t chat much.” Molly muttered, leaning heavily against Tom. “Meth does that…” Her brow furrowed and she coughed again. 

“Shh, darling.” Tom soothed her. “Only happy thoughts.”

Molly hummed and smiled. “Happy thoughts.” More coughing. 

It took twenty minutes before they called Molly back. They didn’t let Tom back with her. He alternated between sitting with a bouncing knee, pretending to read on his phone and pacing the waiting room, making the other people nervous. After forty-five minutes, before Molly returned with several papers in her hand. She coughed again.

“Upper respiratory infection,” cough. “Along with a sinus infection and a viral infection.”

Tom smiled. “Triple threat. Let’s get you home.”

Molly’s hand, holding the papers, flopped up. “I have prescriptions and they want to see me again in two weeks. To make sure I don’t get pneumonia.”

Tom’s eyes widened. “That’s a possibility?”

Molly nodded. “It’s all in here.”

Tom took all the papers, skimming them, including a script for antibiotics as well as a cough suppressant. It all sounded grim. “Let’s get you to bed and I will take care of getting these filled.”

Molly coughed and nodded. “Thank you.” 

She fell back asleep in the car. Tom carried into the house, not having the heart to wake her up again, and settled her into his bed, which was bigger, more comfortable and the bathroom was right there. Once she was settled and asleep, he headed off to the pharmacy. While waiting in line, Tom dialed Luke. 

“Luke, is there anything absolutely pressing in the schedule for the next three days?” he asked after Luke picked up. 

“Nothing I can’t reschedule, why?”

“Molly’s ill.” He bit his lips and sighed. “The doctors are afraid it might turn into pneumonia. And I…”

“Consider your schedule cleared until Monday. And tell her I hope she feels better soon.”

“Thanks, Luke. I’m worried about her.”

“That’s because you love her, Tom. You should worry about the people you care about. I mean, I worry about you all the time.” Luke chuckled.

Tom paused at Luke’s words but pushed it away. Of course he cared for Molly. That has the tendency to happen when you live with a person for nearly three months. Especially someone as congenial as Molly. Congenial wasn’t the word. Lovely. Molly was lovely. He laughed it off. “I worry about you too, Luke. I got to go.”

“Take care of her. Bye, Tom.” 

After picking you the medicine, Tom popped into the grocery store and picked up some soup, drinks, and Molly’s favorite cookies. When he got back, she was still asleep. And still coughing. He put away the groceries and then checked on her.

“Darling, I’m back with the medicine. Time to take it.” He helped her sit up, Molly groaning the entire time. She swallowed the pill with a sip of water, gagging.

“That’s awful!” she coughed. 

“Now the cough medicine.” Tom poured out the cough syrup and handed it over to Molly. She hesitated, sniffing it first. “Take the medicine and get a biscuit.” He held up a package of cookies.

“They’re cookies. I thought I ate the last of them.” she moaned, downing the cough syrup. Her face contorted. Tom smiled and handed her two cookies. “Good girl. Now rest. I’ll check on you in a few hours.”

“Don’t you have work?” Molly muttered as she laid back down. Tom pulled the covers over her, putting the cookies on the nightstand. “You had… interviews… or something…”

“My schedule is clear through the weekend. I am at your disposal.” Tom rubbed Molly’s back, and she purred. 

“You don’t need to do that.” She half-heartedly complained, dozing off.

“And leave you to fend for yourself? What kind of husband would I be? It was no trouble. Now sleep, darling.”

“Mmm… kay.” 

-

Tom busied himself with absolutely nothing. He flitted from reading a book to watching a TV show to peeking into the bedroom. At one point, when Molly was particularly quiet, he seriously contemplated putting a mirror under her nose to just make sure he was still breathing. He managed to get her to eat half a bowl of soup. 

“You need to eat, love.” he scolded.

Molly coughed and croaked. “Says the man who considers chocolate a food group.” 

“Look at that, some humour.” Tom smiled. “Eat please.”

“Yes, sir.” She slurped the soup off the spoon before falling back asleep. 

Tom, worried, did the unthinkable. He called his mum for advice.

“She’s coughing. A lot. And all she does is sleep.” Tom ran his hands through his hair. 

“Is she eating, love?” Diana asked. Tom could feel the smile across the phone.

“A bit, but not as much as usual. I brought her soup.”

“Soup is good. And she is taking her medicine?”

Tom nodded. “I set a timer.”

“Of course you did. And the fever?”

Tom blinked. “What about her fever?”

“Has it broken?”

“I don’t—”

“Tom!” Molly’s bedraggled voice called out.

“I gotta go. She needs me.” Tom hung up the phone and sprinted to the room. 

“Molly! What is it?” He noted she was shivering.

“I’m cold.” she chattered. Tom grabbed the blanket at the foot of his bed. 

“Is that better?” He tucked it under Molly’s chin. Tom touched her forehead. Hot.

“Much.” 

“I’ll let you rest.” He patted her shoulder and stood. Molly reached out for him.

“Stay.” She coughed. “At least until I fall asleep. Please lie down. Just five minutes.”

Tom’s heart broke in that moment for Molly. That confident woman he grew so fond of seemed so small in that moment.

“Of course, I’ll stay. Anything for you.” Tom crawled on top of the covers next to Molly. He laced his fingers in hers. He heard her exhaled, and he exhaled too. 

“Sleep well, darling.” But Molly had already fallen asleep. Tom soon followed.

-

Molly woke the next morning in sweat soaked pajamas and on top of drenched sheets. She still coughed, but her fever was gone. As she blinked her eyes open, Molly realized she wasn’t in her bed, but Tom’s. And Tom was there too. Asleep next to her, fully dressed, holding her hand. She had vague memories of Tom bringing her soup and her asking him to stay. And some very not safe for work dreams. 

“Fever dreams.” she muttered. “Tom…” Molly rocked his shoulder.

“Huh?” Tom sat up. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

“It’s hard to be a nurse. I think your sheets may need washing.” she smiled.

Tom pressed his lips to her forehead. “No fever.” His spirits lifted. 

“It must have broken last night.”

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Yes.” 

Tom noticed their hands still laced together. He let go and stood up. He made a poor attempt at smoothing out his sleep wrinkled clothes. “Up to move to the couch? And maybe some movies?”

“I would like that.” She slowly sat up and got out of bed. “But first a shower.”

Tom frowned. “First medicine, then shower.”

“Nurse Ratched.” Tom didn’t smile or budge. Molly sighed. “Fine, medicine, the shower.”

Tom grabbed the bottles and dispensed the medicine, which she took still gagging. “And a biscuit.” He handed her a cookie. 

“Cookie.” She popped it into her mouth and headed off to her room and Tom went to his own bathroom. 

-

Once they were both showered and dressed, Tom popped his sheets into the laundry and made a makeshift bed on the couch for Molly.

“You pick the movie.” she offered. “That way if I fall asleep, you won’t be bored.” 

Tom picked The Jungle Book. “One of my favorites as a child. I still watch it when I feel under the weather.”

“I don’t think I have seen it.”

Tom’s mouth fell open. “That is a travesty.”

Molly shrugged her shoulders. “You know, group homes, foster care…”

Tom stopped. “Well, we are going to watch this right now and you can listen to the vocal genius that is George Sanders as Shere Khan.”

“More of a vocal genius than you?” Molly raised an eyebrow while she settled onto the couch. 

Tom blushed. “A man-cub, how delightful.” He purred deep in his chest, sending shivers through Molly.

By the end of the movie, Molly’s head was in Tom’s lap and his hand in hers. They watched Disney movies for the rest of day, alternating picking the title. Tom made sure she took her meds on time and ate more than just cookies.

“I will eat a meal if you do.” Molly chided.

They both ate soup and Tom also ate a sandwich. It was late when they finished up Robin Hood. Molly stretched and sat up.

“I should go to bed.”

“I can put the sheets back on the bed.” Tom moved, but she stopped him, squeezing his hand.

“My bed. But I will keep the door open so you can spy on me.” She smirked. “I can’t take your bed again.”

“It’s fine if you did. I don’t mind sharing.”

“I know but…” She glanced away. “We should keep our own space. To keep things from getting complicated.”

Tom nodded. “Right. No complications here.” he lied to her and to himself.

Molly hugged Tom tight. “Thank you for everything, Tom.”

“My pleasure.”

She coughed a bit as she headed off to her room. Tom turned off the TV and cleaned the dishes before going to bed himself. He spent most of the night tossing and turning.

[newtonsheffield]

Hey Molly! It's your bridesmaid! How are you?

Every time I re-read something from the BSAU, I find a new titbit and ponder over it for a while. So, here I come to you after yet another reading of Insufferable with another ask. (At this point, I am too scared to divulge how many I am responsible for. Note: I sent you the "Kate in love" ask a few months back)

The part that got me thinking this time around was the moment in the hospital, where Kate falls asleep on Anthony's shoulder. Now, for someone as guarded as Kate, her subconscious clearly recognised Anthony as a safe space. Plus, having to always be the strong one, she could never truly let her guard down previously. I was wondering whether you could give us some insight into other moments where Kate randomly, unexpectedly and perhaps unintentionally falls asleep on Anthony (while sitting on his lap, while on a longer plane or train journey)? The before and the after?

Also, what about moments when Anthony falls asleep on Kate (since the whole guarded thing applies to him as well?)

This is a very fluffy ask. Sorry!

Hello!

You were responsible for the "Kate in love" ask?! You know weirdly that's one of my favourite asks I've ever filled. And I'm really not sure why but it is, so thank you very much for sending it in! I'm also very curious as to 1) how many times you've read Insufferable and 2) How many asks you've sent me

Ohhhhh this is so cute! I love this! I think Kate really did recognise Anthony as a safe space, and she knew she could trust him even before she was willing to admit that she was in love with him. Enough that in her relief over Edwina being alright, her guard fell down, she relaxed and her head naturally fell to Anthony's shoulder. And that was only the very first time of millions.

The first time she'd fallen asleep on Anthony, Kate was a little embarrassed afterwards. As far as she could see she'd forced him to stay with her, in a tiny hospital room with her mother, practically twisted his hand off, then fallen asleep on him, and to make matters worse, when he'd woken her up (probably to ask her what the bloody hell she was doing) she'd burst into tears and cried all over him. It was a little mortifying to say the least. Kate prided herself on being easily able to compartmentalise her life but suddenly it had bubbled over the colours all burring together, like the water colours she'd once loved to do.

And it was so easy to fall asleep in Anthony's arms. His chest was firm, and his arms were warm and she felt so safe there, as if nothing would ever be able to hurt her again, as he held together the broken pieces of the person she was without even knowing it, the scent of his cologne setting her at ease whenever it engulfed her. Her heart rate slowing immediately. His hands threading through her hair. "Go to sleep, Kate. I've got you." He whispered in her ear as they sat together on his sofa watching television, as her eyelids drooped, her breathing evening out, her nose nuzzling against his neck. Anthony humming a soft lullaby in her ear the last thing she heard.

And now it was a ridiculous thing that she seemed to crave. The warmth and safety of his arms as he held her in sleep, when they came home late from his mum's and her eyelids drooped in the back of the car. When they travelled for work and sat next to one another on the train now, her arms around his waist whispering the answers to his crossword puzzle chuckling as he made happy little noises when they completed them together. Her eyelids slowly closing. "I love you, Katie." whispered in her ear just before they closed.

"Sorry I used you as a pillow." Kate had said the first few times she'd woken up, stretching a little embarrassedly. And Anthony had shrugged. "I like it. I like feeling close to you." He'd said so casually, as he rested his chin on the top of her head, likely completely unaware of how her heart was trying to beat out of her chest, the words bursting forward before she could stop them. "I feel really safe with you." Anthony stilled under her hands, his eyes trapping hers, his breath catching oddly. "You are safe with me, Kate. I promise I'll take care of you." His voice serious, Her own breath catching now. "You don't have to take care of me. Just love me." "I can do that."

________________

Anthony had never in his life wanted to be as close to another person like he wanted to be close to Kate. He couldn't seem to be close enough to her, even in sleep. He woke up every morning with his face pressed against her hair, no space between them. And all of a sudden it was like the only thing that could calm him down when he was stressed, or tired or frustrated, was Kate Sheffield.

The only problem was, he didn't really know how to ask her for it: The Casual intimacy he craved. How to ask her if it was okay for her to wrap her arms tightly around him, her hands in his hair while he fell asleep against her, listening to her heart beat under his ear. Luckily, it seemed he never had to.

Whenever she could see him getting overwhelmed she would catch his hand as he walked past, tugging him until he was lying the length of her, his head tucked against her chest, his breathing syncing with hers, her hands in his hair, lulling him off to sleep as she read softly to him from the book she was reading. Barely paying attention to what she was saying as his eyelids closed and her perfume engulfed him, and she comforted him to sleep.

And he hated that when he woke he was always embarrassed to have needed it. Some instinct deep within him telling him to run away from her. Until she smiled at him, her eyes shining at him "Hey sleepy head. How was pillow time?" "Nice." He always mumbled, hiding his face in her chest. "I can look after you too you know." Her voice soft, her fingers still smoothing his hair back from his forehead, her glasses sliding down her nose. And when he looked back up at her, he didn't doubt it at all. He only wondered why he'd ever tried to deny himself this.

And the next time he craved it, he wasn't afraid to ask. Sighing as he flopped down next to her on the sofa. "Katie can I um... can I have some pillow time?" Her answer immediate "Course you can, Honey. Come here."

[marky4l]

inked – a mark lee drabble

fluff, ft. jeno (slightly but not rly different ages)

word count 821

—

“it’s stupid,” he says, shoving your front door open. “it’s dumb and stupid.” you look up quizzically, the speed of your head rivaling that of sound’s. you shut the crossword you’d been working on and a smile plays at your lips despite the concern bubbling up inside you. “what’s stupid, bug?” he walks to the couch and belly flops on it, the size not allowing him to lie properly as he thuds on the wooden floor.

“get up. you’re stupid, if anything,” you mutter, whacking him with the crossword playfully. “mark, tell me already.”

“nothing,” he says. “it’s a stupid—thing. and i can’t hide it anyway.”

“yeah, so might as well tell me,” you say, fully interested, crossword on the floor and forgotten. “look, if you made another worthless purchase at the garage sale on 77th—”

he gets up. “okay, bug, first of all, not worthless. second, no!” he makes a show of picking up the inane buy he had brought to your apartment two weeks earlier: a cowboy hat shaped piggy bank. you roll your eyes but he continues anyway. “see how much pennies we’ve saved up he—”

“mark, two seconds to tell me or i’m rewatching star wars and not paying any attention to you.”

“nnngh—a tattoo!” he blubbers. you pause. for a second, it’s quiet in the apartment. “i got a tattoo.”

you look up at him from where you sit, his nervous expression and the way his grip lingers on his arm. “take off your coat,” you say breathlessly, and you mentally scold yourself for sounding so awed. he sheds his jacket and then, there it is: on his upper forearm, under a film of cling wrap and vaseline, a doodle you had done of the two of you on your first date.

two stick figures holding hands, your initials atop it. it’s permanently embedded into his skin now for god knows how long and if he gets this removed it will cost god knows how much and god knows how painful it’d be. it’s not one of his wisest ideas—the cowboy hat is intelligent beside it—but now there’s tangible proof of your six years together, and your heart swells.

you get up, looping your arms around his neck. “i’m not paying for removal.”

“like i’d remove this masterpiece,” he quips, and that alone is enough for you to press your lips against his fondly.

when you pull away, he’s smiling like an idiot, and so are you. “you’re right. it’s dumb and stupid.”

“just say you love me. also, i’m 22, bug—your 20s are made for stupid decisions.”

“okay, tally them. one, the dreadful cowboy piggy bank; two, this tattoo.”

“three, dating you,” he jokes. “but i was 16 when i met you, so that doesn’t count.”

“see, that’s just reckless teenage decisions,” you respond with a smile. “but really, mark … i love it.”

he smiles at you, pressing a kiss onto your forehead. “i love you. i’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

“and you chose now, because…”

“my friend haechan? mmm, he has another friend jeno who does tattoos for half off.”

“and this jeno,” you muse, picking your crossword back up, “he’s experienced?”

“oh, for sure. i mean, this tattoo—he copied it nearly to a T.” he settles himself behind you, his arm around your shoulders as you work on the crossword.

“i know, but i meant—he’s licensed?” ulee’s gold, you scribble onto 4 down.

silence. “mark?” you turn. “he … well, he’s 20 and in college and it wasn’t half off … it was free … he was practicing!”

you gape at him. “you let him practice on you?!”

—

“the way mark flinched when i poked his sore tattoo made me think this was going to be painful,” you quip. across you, jeno chuckles, taking a chug of water.

“no surprise there. he nearly cried, i tell you.” mark tuts at both of you from his seat in the waiting area a few feet away.

jeno scoffs before continuing. “that was my practice tattoo, though. i assure you, man, i’ve been tattooing for a little longer now—three years. plus, your design’s really easy.” he gets to work again, and within fifteen minutes, your tiny tattoo is finished.

“consider this your unofficial engagement ring,” mark muses into your hair. on the exact same spot is the word bug in mark’s handwriting: the nickname you had used as a teasing tactic onto each other once, that turned slowly into a term of endearment. just inches below your tattoo, on your left ring finger, a diamond twinkles. “unofficial? i have an official one right here,” you say, holding it up.

“mmm, right, your secondary engagement ring, then.” he says, kissing you with a dumb smile on his face. the tattoo on his arm, three years healed, is attached to someone dumb. and stupid. and after 9 years, engaged.

—

ask me anything :) I hope you liked it

[panda-noosh]

Poor Little King {BotF Mini-Fic}

Words: 3.4k 

Summary: Takashi is ill, and you are determined to keep him in bed - meaning you have to take on the jobs he usually does himself. 

Genre: Fluff 

Notes: masterlist - well hello there everyone. 

+++

    Takashi groaned, rolling over as he attempted to bury his head in your skirts.

    Once again, you were forced to push the poor king away, folding your arms over your chest; you had work to get done. You had merely dropped by to check up on your ill husband before you were due to head out and, once again, get back to work with helping Coran sort through the trading agreements.

     Nonetheless, you couldn’t help but deny the slight flicker of disappointment that came with the realisation that you would have to leave Takashi like this. It had only been a few days since he had come down with the flu, and yet it was ripping him apart by the looks of things.

    “How are you feeling?” you asked, winding your fingers through his in your attempts to stop him grabbing onto your skirts again.

    He grunted into the pillow, answer enough for the question you had asked.

    “Oh, Takashi,” you tutted. “I wish I could do something to help.”

   “You can stay with me,” he suggested, voice muffled by the fabric covering his face.

    You smiled sadly, reaching down and gently running your fingers through his shock of black hair. A low grumble rumbled up from his chest at the sensation of your fingers brushing deep into his scalp, and you had to bite your lower lip to stop yourself from giggling.

    “I’m afraid I can’t,” you replied. Takashi frowned, finally turning his head to meet your eyes. “You’re ill. Takashi, but there’s still a kingdom to look after. Plus two children that need attention all the time.”

    “Coran and Esmay are fine,” he said. “I, on the other hand, am far from it. Which is why my lovely wife should-”

    “Oh, stop trying to charm me.” You swatted his back, to which he groaned and went back to burying his head in the pillow. “I’ll be back later on to make sure you’ve eaten, okay? You just stay bundled up and rest.”

    “I don’t sleep well without you beside me.”

    “You don’t have to sleep. Complete a crossword puzzle or something.”

    “Honestly, with how little you know of me, it’s amazing that we’ve been married for nearly six years.”

    You grinned, leaned down and pressed a gentle but risky kiss to the space just below his ear. He grumbled at the sensation, turned his head just enough so you could see the small and grateful smile that he had put on specifically for you.

    You smiled back, and with a heavy heart, span on your heel and exited the bedroom.

     You hated seeing him that way, so defenceless and weak. The illness had stemmed from a trip to Voltron he had taken with Coran Jr only a few days prior; apparently a bug had been going around during his trip, and it was only by the good grace of the Lions that Coran Jr hadn’t gotten the illness; it had instead went straight to Takashi.

    He had come home to you and Esmay Jr a few days later, sniffling, bones aching, barely able to hold himself upright. You had ordered him to bed almost immediately, despite his protestations and his insistence that he was fine. Anybody with two eyes and a bit of common sense could see that he was far from it, though.

    However, now that Takashi was bundled up in bed for the next few days, you had the added task of actually being Queen for a little while - a task which you did not see yourself being thrown into. Though you had legally been queen for a very long time now, the duties that came with the job were very rarely actually given to you - Takashi was aware that he had thrown you into the role of queen purely against your will, that you had absolutely zero knowledge of what it was like to run a kingdom. He had been nice enough to take the burden of royal life off of your shoulders, instead trying to make you as comfortable as possible.

    You were confident that you would be able to figure it all out in the end, though.

    You wandered into the office with your shoulders pulled back and chin held high; anything to radiate a confidence that you did not have. Coran Senior looked up when you entered, raised a ginger eyebrow as a smile of amusement pulled across his features; having been closer to you than a brother for the majority of your life, Coran could certainly tell when you were faking your emotions.

    You frowned at him.

    “Takashi hasn’t dropped dead yet, has he?” Coran asked, ignoring your faux confidence for now. You had no doubt in your mind that he would tease you for it later on.

    You sauntered up to his side and started shuffling through the trade contracts littering the table top. “Nope. He’s still kicking.” 

    “Kicking is a strong word,” said Coran. “Whenever I went to check on him, he was more rolling than anything else.”

    You hollowed your your cheeks, shaking your head slowly  “He doesn’t look like he’s getting any better.”

    “Because he isn’t letting himself get any better,” Coran pointed out, tossing a piece of paper onto your pile for later inspection. “He just complains all day and then goes to sleep. He isn’t even drinking the orange juice that Esmay told him to drink.”

    “He doesn’t like orange juice.”

    “Lions, my heart breaks for him.” Coran shot you a blank look. “I bet he likes having the flu even less.”

    “Well, yes, but-”

   “We’ve all got to make sacrifices. Honestly, the man is as stubborn as his father was.”

    You snorted, shaking your head despite your agreement to the statement. Akihiro had been a vile man, but he was still Takashi’s father at the end of the day - you would be a fool to claim that Takashi had gained absolutely nothing from his fathers side of the family - and the stubbornness was definitely that attribute.

    You and Coran continued working later than you had originally expected. Hunk had come in and asked if either of you wanted any food, but his offer was politely declined as the two of you got lost in a mountain of contracts that had long since started to jumble into one huge heap on the edge of the table; Takashi would have an aneurysm if he were to see the state the two of you had left it, him so tedious with his organisation.

    It was getting dark by the time Coran finally looked up and yawned. He glanced towards the clock in the corner, and his eyes immediately widened.

    “Oh, Lions!” he hissed. You started, hand clenching around the piece of paper in your hand with the suddenness of his exclamation.

    “What? What is it?” you demanded. He was bolt upright now, his papers thrown left right and centre as he struggled to remove his coat from the back of the chair he had previously been seated upon.

    He darted his eyes towards you. “I promised Thace I’d be home by dinner time.”

    You glanced at the clock; dinner time had long since passed.

    “Oh, right,” you said, calming down now that you were assured nothing was really wrong. “Well, get yourself off then. I’ll stay in here for a little bit longer.”

    Coran paused, his coat half on his body. You looked up at him, giving him what you hoped was a reassuring smile; you still had a fair bit to get done, and you weren’t prepared to leave it all until the morning. You had promised Takashi that you would have everything under control whilst he took his bed rest, and you were determined to keep that promise.

    “Y/N,” Coran said gruffly. “It’s nearly ten o clock at night. You need to go to bed and check on your husband.”

   You waved a dismissive hand. “He’s fine. He’s either reading to Coran and Esmay right now, or he’s asleep. Either way, I’m perfectly fine staying in here for another few hours.”

    It was clear in his hesitation that he was not fully prepared to leave you here on your own, but he had a husband to get home to, a family that you were well aware would always have his attention first and foremost.

    Once again, you waved a dismissive hand. “I promise you, Coran, I’ll get some sleep later on. I just want to finish a bit more of this and then I’ll go to bed.”

    Although he did not believe you, he left the room nonetheless. After giving you a comforting peck on the cheek and a final warning glare, he sauntered off and disappeared for the night, leaving you to your own devices.

    You would be lying to claim you weren’t exhausted. You had been up at six am that same morning, seeing to Esmay who had decided to climb up the bed sheets to check on her father, bright and early. She had recently turned two, and the phrase Terrible Two’s was really being proven in the way she refused to sit still now that her legs were strong enough to hold her up, now that she had finally figured out that she could indeed stand up and scatter anywhere she wanted to.

     But you refused to leave just yet; the work would be finished at the end of the night, and then you could curl up next to your ill husband and get some well-needed rest. But until then, you had duties to see to and a kingdom to care for.

    All on your own.

    +++

    You weren’t entirely sure what time it was. In all honesty, you weren’t even sure who was awake anymore. The inhabitants outside of the office had long since gone quiet; you could no longer hear the scuttling of maids outside the door, the happy humming of the cooks as they packed up the kitchen for the night. The outside world had seemingly gone silent, though you couldn’t quite complain. It gave you more room to concentrate on the very, very tedious task of filing away the trade agreements you had just read through.

    They were stacked in their hundreds, surrounding you in messy heaps on the desk. You had to read through each of them, label them with what kingdom they had come from, and then file them away into their appropriate place. 

     You couldn’t quite understand how Takashi had done this so quickly in the past.

    You grunted, slumping against the desk once and for all. Your vision was starting to go a little blurry, and you could barely keep your head up, let alone stand to read the papers around you. You closed your eyes for only a minute, allowing yourself that moment of solice until you would force yourself to get back to it and finish the job you had been assigned. If Takashi could do it-

    “Mummy?”

    Your eyes snapped open, motherly instinct immediately driving the exhaustion from your body. You hastily stood up, peeked your head over the desk towards the door where tiny little Esmay popped her own head of large black curls round the doorway.

    Your heart immediately lightened at the sight of her, and you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face.

    “I’m here, sweetheart. Are you okay?”

    She slowly crept in, still teetering slightly but managing to close the door and clamber towards you nonetheless. You sat back down on the seat behind you, held your arms out just in time to catch her and scoop her up onto your knee. There, she nuzzled her head into your neck and started sucking deftly on her thumb.

    “Are you alright, Esmay?” you repeated softly.

   “Daddy’s ill,” she replied.

    You stiffened. “Yes, he is. Have you seen him today?”

    She shook her head. “Uncle Thace said me and Coran would get sick if we went and saw him, so we’ve stayed away. But I miss him, Mummy. I miss you, too.” She looked up then, grey eyes so like her fathers. “You look tired, Mummy.”

   You pursed your lips; coming from any other person, and perhaps you would have grown hostile. But Esmay was definitely telling the truth, and you knew that much simply from the drag your body was currently experiencing.

    You reached up and awkwardly patted down your hair, which was growing frazzled with the growing heat in the room.

    “So do you, baby,” you replied. “It’s late, you know. You shouldn’t be out of bed at this time.”

    “But you’re out of bed,” she shot back.

    You chuckled. “Well, i can’t argue with that. But you’re much younger than I am, which means you need all the rest you can get.” Slowly, you set her back down on the floor. She teetered on her heels, giggled when she finally caught her balance. “You go off to bed and I’ll come down and see you later on to make sure you’re asleep, okay? I’ll be in here if you need me - tell your brother that, as well.”

   Esmay nodded vigorously, overjoyed with the idea of having a task to fulfill. You watched as she darted towards the door, flung it open and fled the room, yelling out her brothers name as she did so. You chuckled, closed the door behind her and got back to your work.

    The productivity did not last for long, however, before the door was creaking open yet again. You sat still, waiting for the telltale name of “Mummy?” being called out into the darkness, but it didn’t come. 

    You frowned, glanced over the stack of papers - you didn’t need to stand up to see who was standing in the doorway, though. Not whenever he towered over the desk, leaning against the door frame with a frown pulling on his face.

    Your eyes widened and you hastily stood up. “Takashi! What are you doing out of bed?”

    “I could be asking you the same thing,” he replied, kicking the door quietly closed behind him. “It’s nearly one in the morning, my love. You should be in bed.”

    “So should you,” you hissed, completely hysterical that your ill husband had decided to risk his health, yet again, to come and check on you. “Oh, Takashi, what are you doing? How are you ever going to get better if you refuse to rest?”

    He raised a brow down at you when you finally managed to clamber over the array of files littered beside the desk. You grabbed onto his arm, attempted to pull him towards the door, but he was much stronger than you and the attempt was fruitless at the end of the day.

    You sighed in defeat, slumping against the wall and glaring at him through your eyelids. “You are a pain in the backside.”

    He didn’t grin like he usually did, but merely continued frowning. “Esmay came in and told me that you were still working in the office. She even added on that Mummy looked particularly tired.”

    You pursed your lips. “Well, you know how two year olds get. Exaggerating everything and -”

    “She most definitely was not exaggerating.” Takashi reached an arm out, inviting you into his embrace. Part of you wanted to pull away, to walk back to your seat and get stuck in the paperwork again - you had so little left to do. Another few hours would see you finished.

    But when it was a matter involving Takashi, you found yourself unable to resist. And so, you stepped forward and hugged him round the middle, him wrapping his arm around your back and gently rubbing his fingertips along your spine in that way that always managed to send shivers coursing through your entire body.

    “You don’t have to get all of this done in a day, you know,” he mumbled, lips pressing into your hair. 

    You cuddled closer to his warmth, inhaling the scent of cough medicine which was strongly radiating off of him right now. “I want to. Then you don’t have to do it later on.”

    He chuckled, the noise vibrating in his chest. “You do realise that it’s my job, don’t you? I’ve been doing it for a good number of years by now.” 

   “But you’re ill, and I-”

   “And I’m extremely grateful for your help, but I’d much rather have a wife who is well rested and healthy than a free schedule.” He pulled away then, keeping one arm on the small of your back as if afraid you would scatter back behind the desk if he let go.

    You looked up into his grey eyes, a slight pout on your face; you were disappointed. You had wanted to get things finished for him, to clear his schedule so he could rest up without worrying about the tasks awaiting for him when he was finally at full health again. Even looking at him now, his grey eyes were sunken with illness and his skin was pale, his black hair sticking up from where he had laid funny on the pillows; he didn’t look like himself. 

      “I know I say this all the time,” he whispered suddenly. “But I truly am confused as to how I got so lucky with finding you. And then finding you again.”

    You closed your eyes, laughing breathily at the memories of your and Takashi’s extremely wild love story - how you had gone through a forbidden romance for a while, before you were exiled from the very country you now ruled over. You had broken the law to come and see Takashi be crowned king, only for him to find you and wed you then and there.

     “I think I’m the lucky one,” you replied. “I could have easily been imprisoned on the day of your coronation.”

    He scoffed. “You think I’d allow that to happen?”

    “I don’t think the kingdom would have given you much choice.”

   He shook his head slowly, continuing to stare down at you as if you were the stars and the moon and he was holding you in his hands so tight and safe. You felt safe, tucked up against him despite the heaving of his chest and the slight rattle to his breathing, the stuffiness in his voice.  

     He sighed and leaned forward, pressing dry lips to your forehead. “I don’t want to get you sick. Just come to bed so I don’t have to drag you there myself.”

    You closed your eyes, leaning your head on his chest. “I only have a few more-”

    “Are you going to make me drag you?”

    “Takashi, if you-”

    “Well, if you insist on being stubborn.”

    Your eyes snapped open, panic darting through your system as Takashi immediately swept his hand by your knees and scooped you up bridal style. He grunted with the effort, his weakened body straining, but he still managed to pull the door open and start down the hallways towards your bedroom.

    If it weren’t for the sleeping children in the other room, you would have been making a fuss. Instead, you had no choice but to wrap your arms around Takashi’s neck, whispering curse words in his ears that did nothing but make him grin and chuckle.

    He kicked open the door to your shared bedroom and set you down upon the double bed, kicking the door closed again behind him. You landed on the mattress and continued to glare up at him as he made his way towards the bed again, undoing the top buttons of his night shirt as he did so.

    “See, that’s better, isn’t it? You can get comfortable now, if you like.”

    You shook your head slowly. “Once again-”

    “You are a pain in the backside,” he quoted, raising his voice in mock impersonation of you. He grinned at your glare, tossing himself onto the bed and wrapping his arms around your middle. “Truth be told, my love - I also just can’t sleep without you beside me, and I’m getting very tired.”

     You grunted, trying to squirm away from him. Despite his illness, he managed to hold onto you until you finally gave up and slumped back against the pillows. He hummed in approval, laying his head on your stomach and nuzzling his nose into the fabric of your shirt.

    “Much better,” he whispered. “I might just be revived back to full health after tonight.”

[multiverseofimagines]

❝ sunday morning ❞ a.d characters hc

In which what the “boys” would do on a Sunday morning, alongside their s/o.

Kylo

➤ Kylo loathes mornings, in fact he hates them so much, he insists that no one wake him up early unless he’s truly needed, or has specific duties to fufill that day. Though loyal to his job, the mornings and late evenings are the only times you truly get to spend together as a couple, the rest of the time, he is quite busy with all of his supreme leader tasks.

He’s super cuddly in the morning, and this is one of the few times you get to see a glimpse of what once was Ben Solo. The gentle likeness of his past self seeping through in his whiny morning voice, only gaining it’s raspiness once he’s awaken slightly for the day. 

If you need to get up and do something early, he’ll use the force to make you lay there with him for an extra moment, which will often cause you to submit to his demands happily. 

He is not a breakfast guy, and often forgets to eat meals of any nutritional value ( definitely claims he’s ‘too’  nauseas to eat.) but Sundays are the rarest of occasions that he will join you for breakfast in the private dining room of the ship. (+ his favourite is bacon with syrup drizzled on top)

Clyde Logan

➤ Clyde isn’t opposed to mornings, but his schedule usually consists of waking up late, anyway. The bar doesn’t open till the afternoon, and unless Clyde needs to do early mornin’ paperwork, or check the post office, you can bet your stars he won’t be up before atleast 10am. 

He’s a cartoon and cereal guy. 

    Though Clyde favours his mostly burnt bacon, most mornings he’ll eat cereal with you on the couch while ya’ll are still in your underwear, watchin’ Sunday mornin’ cartoons together.  

( He really enjoys the cartoon network. Some of his favourites are; Tom & Jerry, Adventure Time and Scooby Doo)

    He’ll also insist you two share the cereal and feed eachother bites if your cereal choice is different that morning. Which often results in spilt milk upon both you and the couch. 

(+ ya’ll will also shower together most mornings.)

Charlie Barber

➤ Charlie is the biggest morning person, the man lives for mornings. Most of his routine consists of early mornings, paired with a cup of coffee and starting work right away, but Sundays are definitely his lenient of days,

He will sleep in, only for a couple more hours than usual, still awaking considerably early. He’ll also wake Henry up if it’s his weekend, and start cooking breakfast, whilst your in bed still. Sometimes you’ll get up with them and help, but most mornings Charlie will try and slip out of bed without waking you, feeling guilty for all the mornings you’d have to rush Henry to school, or make Charlie breakfast. He is so considerable upon making it up to you, and letting you know he appreciates what you do for him.

He has grown to like certain cartoons that Henry watches, maybe a bit too much, as he will often get the theme songs stuck within his head, and hum them whenever he gets a chance throughout the course of the week. (His favourites are Pokemon, Spiderman and Spongebob.)

Despite watching Cartoons with Henry, his first order of business when he wakes up is to watch the global news.

Charlie also has a habit of wanting to not sit around all day, and will often make plans to go on bike rides, to the movies, go for lunch, etc.

(+ He definitely pays for Disney plus)

Flip Zimmerman

➤ Flip doesn’t hate mornings, nor does he particularly enjoy them. He prides himself in being on time for work, and has many early mornings in which he must go into the station, including Sundays.

If he does have a Sunday off, or a day in particular off, he’ll still get up earlier than noon (any later and he’ll feel like his whole day has been wasted) He starts his morning off by making coffee, and reading the newspaper (he’s a sucker for crosswords, and will often ask you for help.)

If he doesn’t read the paper first thing, he may find it upon himself to read a bit of his late Mother’s copy of the Torah (Talmud), filled with little colored tabs on important pages. His morning Torah readings always keep him humble. He also highlights quotations that stick with him.

He hates morning telivision, and insists that it rots your brain.

Always wants to grocery shop on Sundays, insisting that the market won’t be busy, even though it always is.

(+ please don’t even get me started on the morning s*x)

Paterson

➤ Paterson could lay in bed forever with you, and he often won’t get up till at least twelve if he has the day off (usually does on sundays)

Depending on the day and his willingness to go out, sometimes you’ll head to a Diner for a late brunch. If not, you’ll usually make something for breakfast. ( Very rare occasion that you two have a huge breakfast. The most it will consist of is either cereal or eggos.)

Sunday is his day of quiet oasis. After food, he’ll hide in the basement and write for hours, only getting up when he smells the scent of food or when you call for him to come help with various house chores. ( Though you try not to interrupt his Poetry writing, no matter how much help you need.)

Sometimes he will also suggest going on a walk with you, just to get out of the house a bit. 

Phillip Altman

➤ Phillip is not a morning person, and is quite a baby with waking up early, but there’s one thing that will eliminate his bitchiness.

    Morning S*x, obviously (What else did you think it was?).

That’s a given ritual on almost every Sunday, accompanied by falling back asleep afterwards for a few more hours. 

You will usually get up before him, and start cooking brunch (+if you feel comfy, it would more than likely be in one of his shirts and just your underwear.) He would also come smack your ass while your cooking, in which would end in you chasing him around with a spatula. 

He does the dishes cause you cooked ( my heart melts ahhh)

Phillip is not a cartoon guy unless it’s an “adult” cartoon ( + his faves are American Dad, Rick and Morty and Family guy.) Though usually on Sunday’s he’ll suggest watching a movie and cuddling on the couch (he always suckers you into an action movie, despite your slight hatred for his taste. They aren’t like fun.meaningful action movies, they are super boring and filled with dumb plots.)  Your lack of interest will almost always lead to a tickle fight or a make-out sesh. 

[tabloidtoc]

TV Guide, February 1-14

You can now buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Hot List -- Outlander’s Sam Heughan on Men in Kilts

Page 1: Contents, Your Feedback 

Page 2: Ask Matt -- Call Me Kat, Las Vegas with Josh Duhamel, Lucky Dog, Coming Next Issue -- TV Guide Magazine’s February 15 issue cover story is When Calls the Heart 

Page 4: TV Insider -- 25 top shows 

Page 5: First Look -- Aisha Hinds and Rob Lowe in 9-1-1: Lone Star as wildfires devastate the Austin area, The Show We’re Talking About in the Office -- Prodigal Son, The Big Number -- 70 is the staggering number of original movies Netflix plans to release this year with at least one new title each week 

Page 6: The Roush Review -- WandaVision 

Page 7: Resident Alien, Snowpiercer, The Long Song 

Page 8: Hot List 2021 -- read on for 32 reasons to love TV now including beautiful stars and jaw-dropping drama and sizzling costar chemistry plus puppies! -- Hot Scots -- Sam Heughan on Men in Kilts 

Page 9: Hot Topic -- Grey’s Anatomy, Hot Mess -- Tom Payne on Prodigal Son’s Malcolm Bright, Hot on the Trail -- TV Investigators Clarice Starling of Clarice and Eliza Scarlet of Miss Scarlet & the Duke and Tom Brannick of Bloodlands 

Page 10: Hot Chemistry -- NCIS’ Ellie Bishop and Nick Torres, Warm Sendoff -- a tribute to Alex Trebek, Hot Heroine -- Javicia Leslie on Batwoman 

Page 11: Hot Spot -- Space, Hot Dogs -- Puppy Bowls’ pooches, Hot Groundbreaker -- The Bachelor’s Matt James, Hot Soap -- General Hospital 

Page 12: Hot Trend -- costar couples like Scott Bakula and Chelsea Field on NCIS: New Orleans and Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone on God’s Favorite Idiot and Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Hilarie Burton on The Walking Dead, Hot Property -- Fixer Upper: Welcome Home, Hot Competition -- new game shows, Burning Hot -- the cast of Station 19 

Page 13: Hot Home Theater -- streaming movies, Red Hot -- Conan O’Brien, Hot Streak -- Reese Witherspoon, Hot Hosts -- Tina Fey and Amy Poehler 

Page 18: What’s Worth Watching -- Week 1 -- Queen Latifah on The Equalizer 

Page 19: Monday, February 1 -- The Investigation, Roots, All American Stories, Atlanta Justice, 9-1-1: Lone Star, Golden Turkeys on TCM 

Page 20: Tuesday, February 2 -- Charlie’s Angels, The Resident, Finding Your Roots -- Jane Lynch and Jim Gaffigan, Home Again With the Fords, Wednesday, February 3 -- Chicago Med, Super Bowl Greatest Commercials 2021, Europe’s New Wild 

Page 21: Thursday, February 4 -- Al Davis vs. the NFL, Married at First Sight: Australia, Summer House, Impractical Jokers

Page 22: Friday, February 5 -- Made in Italy, Killer Advice, Gold Rush, Magnum P.I., In Concert at the Hollywood Bowl -- Katy Perry and John Williams 

Page 24: Saturday, February 6 -- Wonder Woman, Whitney Houston & Bobbi Kristina: Didn’t We Almost Have It All, Beverly Hills Wedding, Devil May Care 

Page 26: Sunday, February 7 -- Super Bowl LV, Kitten Bowl VIII, Crikey! It’s the Irwins!, Miss Scarlet & the Duke 

Page 27-41: TV listings 

Page 42: Stream It! Your guide to the very best streaming available now -- Netflix -- Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer, The Ripper, The Staircase, three reasons to binge The Crew 

Page 43: Katherine Heigl and Sarah Chalke on Firefly Lane, new movies for every mood -- I want sci-fi thrills...Outside the Wife, I want to be scared...Red Dot, I want international drama...The White Tiger, I want family comedy...Charming 

Page 44: Prime Video -- Anna Paquin on Flack, Dexter, Black History Month Movies -- One Night in Miami, Sylvie’s Love, Freedom, What I’m Bingeing: Mozart in the Jungle 

Page 45: Hulu -- 5 great rom-coms for Valentine’s Day -- Date Night, 50 First Dates, Palm Springs, The Princess Bride, The Wedding Planner, BritBox -- The Pembrokeshire Murders, A Confession, The Heist at Hatton Garden, The Moorside 

Page 46: New Movie Releases 

Page 47: Series, Specials & Documentaries 

Page 48: What’s Worth Watching -- Week 2 -- Robin Roberts on Tuskegee Airmen: Legacy of Courage 

Page 49: Monday, February 8 -- Black Lightning, Monk, Ellen’s Game of Games, Street Outlaws, Antiques Roadshow, Crossing Lines, American Greed 

Page 50: Tuesday, February 9 -- Clarence Stewart on Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, House Hunters International, The Food That Built America, Battlestar Galactica 

Page 51: Wednesday, February 10 -- Louise Keoghan on Tough as Nails, Big Bend: The Wild Frontier of Texas, Name That Tune, Chicago P.D., Hart to Hart 

Page 52: Thursday, February 11 -- Clarice, Days of Our Lives, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Young Sheldon 

Page 53: Friday, February 12 -- Henry Ian Cusick on MacGyver, TCM Romantic Weekend Getaway, Ancient Aliens, Hip Hop Uncovered, Saturday, February 13 -- 30 Coins, Playing Cupid 

Page 54: Sunday, February 14 -- American Idol, Crossword Mysteries: Terminal Descent

Page 55-74: TV listings 

Page 80: Cheers & Jeers -- cheers to Jeopardy!, Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous, The Good Doctor’s Christina Chang, The Goldbergs, jeers to the Sex and the City sequel, This Is Us, Riverdale’s Auteur storyline 

[rocketonthemoon]

18, 23, 42?

What's one historical event you would liked to have witnessed: I WISH I HAD SEEN THAT BIG ASS METEOR THAT MADE A CRATER IN SIBERIA I WANNA SEE WHAT MADE THAT HOLE IN THE GROUND SO BAD I JUST WANNA KNOW

Which songs do you sing in the shower: typically whatever's playing on my phone before I got in. or Loch Lomond? For some reason?

Do you play any games on your phone: Listen. I haven't found a game as good or as reliable to pass the time as Sailor Moon Drops and to this day I miss it every fucking day. But otherwise Pokemon Go is the main one I play every day for at least a little bit and I've got the NYTimes crossword app that my family all (kinda) competes for best time for the mini. Plus a bejeweled/candy crush sort of game to fill the SMD hole in my heart and a puzzle/brain teaser game that I remember every now and then.

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

If you ever want to write a full account of your hospital stay, I'm so here for it. I want it all: the farts, the grannies, the fighting over windows, the other weirdos, why you want to murder the doctor and how your fam will help you get away with it, the works. Start writing while I grab the popcorn! 🍿

Ok, don’t remember what I have said here already, so I’ll give a full story plus some flashbacks from my childhood.

-I got 4 grannies in my room, the average age: 65+

-granny number one: ultra Catholic, made a cross on my forehead (I was so shocked, I didn’t say a shit, aside of screaming in my head – woman?! Covid restrictions?! Keep your distance?!), a farmer woman (one day she just said that when she wants a chicken soup, she goes outside, catches the chicken, chops the head and make a soup – the faces of the other grannies - PRICELESS), praying in weird moments, instead of sweat pants, wearing dress shirts and dress pants (and you know, we were doing physical exercises there???), loving dirty jokes and making them A LOT,

-granny number two – tiny old sweet lady (she was like 80 something years old?), usually sitting in the corner or on the balcony and praying silently, she was like Catholic kamikaze, she sometimes was sitting on the balcony and praying for FIVE HOURS, oh, and once shitted her pants

-granny number three – ex school director, Miss Ooooow, Ooooow, came with 2 suitcases and occupied ½ of the wardrobe (for example, I managed to put all my things in my night stand), was very surprised I came with so little clothes and was washing them, was crying when she had to wash her hair because she always goes to hairdresser…

-granny number four – on a wheelchair, my best pal, making her own cigarettes at evenings on the canteen (a place where the meals were served, close to the balcony), as much done with the other ladies as I was,

-our room were filled with weird Turkish soap operas (the first time they turned the television on some Mahmud wanted to kill some Bahar and the dialogues were so cringy I had to check if it was a real show and surprisingly it was). Every day after I was evacuating my ass to the canteen or to the balcony where I was reading (I’ve finished 19 books and my ass still hurts because of the fucking hard chairs).

-if it was not a Turkish soap opera, it was Polish News on the public channel (Imagine FOX news), so every fucking day when it was played, the traitors of Polishness and Polish tradition and the only good ruling party like me, were gathering in the canteen. We were like a few folks (me, the granny number 4 and some dude doing crosswords and having super high blood pressure, mostly because all dudes from his room were watching the news and agreeing with everything what was said there)

-food, examples

-so I was not eating too much, so granny number one made a cross on my forehead and blessed me, so I would eat more and have a strength to give birth to children – I shit you not

-when I said I don’t want children – they almost had a collective heart attack. I decided to not reveal my other social, religion and political opinions, because I would be strangled to death in my sleep by a rosary one night

-one day I was stupid too much and didn’t leave the room while they were watching Polish Fox News and while half listening to the bullshit I probably made a fuck-my-life-face. When they ask what I was thinking about, my, a fucking idiot, said that about the vanity of life. They almost got another collective heart attack and almost ran to the nurses, no idea why but whatever

-Granny number 3, was afraid of other people snoring, because she had problems with sleep. In the end she was the one who snored the loudest

-there was an opening/closing the windows war. Granny 1 had sick lungs and asthma and whatever so was always closing the window because she was getting pneumonia and oh my god, while Granny 3 had problems with breathing, was suffocating and oh my God, so she was always opening the window. Granny number 3 was always opening the window while other already left for the meals, while Granny number 1 was always returning first and complaining SOMEONE was trying to kill her with the cold air and closing the windows. HILAROUS stuff

-on the end of the first week I ACCIDENTALLY broke a small window that was situated on the top, a window that supposedly was not meant to be open, so for the next 2 weeks we had a window opened ALL the time. Don’t ask why no one called some dudes to fix it, I have no idea, but thanks to it I survived the nights full of symphonies of farts

-that one day they gave us beans for the dinner and boy, you can only imagine

-one day we got a meat chops with a crispy batter. If you added the batter on the bottom to the batter on the top of the meat, they were thicker than meat itself

-all soups tasted the same. One day they gave us a soup and I was SURE it was a pickled cucumber soup and I was AMAZED that they managed to make it without cucumbers. Then I have learnt it was a sorrel soup *sad music in the background*

-the grannies loved to motherhen me for some reason. For example, I was sitting politely in the canteen, reading another fucking book, when one of them came and said I should not read so much, it’s unhealthy and they are worried about me. I was blinking for 30 seconds, wondering if laughing like a mad hyena would make them having another collective heart attack. In the end I just mhm-ed and continued reading.

-later I have learnt they were behaving like that, because they thought I was in middle school…

-basically, I was the youngest person on the ward and some nurses and other patients felt sorry for me because I didn’t have anyone in my age to talk… and I was like… why the fuck I should have been feeling sad? I could read and NOT TALK??? Also, or reading or murdering the grannies with a plastic spoon in their sleep, so thank you very much, leave my ass alone.

-on one dinner I basically ate pasta with pepper, because the spinach, guys, the spinach was awful and I’m not going to traumatize you with the pic

-I had a deal with the crosswords dude during breakfasts and suppers – was giving him ham and cold meat, he was giving me jam

-the Granny number one was SLEEP SINGING one night

-two days per every week some farmer was coming and selling his vegetables and fruits. Guys, all patients were buying food there, for sure I was weeping while buying plums, apples and tomatoes.

-Granny number three was super annoying and acting like a bitch aka typical ex school director, because when she wanted to watch something in TV at night, she always did even if the others were upset, but when she wanted to go to sleep at 9 she owww owwww owwwwed and was turning the lights off. So, sometimes I was returning at 9 to the room and it was dark. And there were no night bedside lamps, so it meant you needed to go to sleep too. At fucking 9.

-the face of one dude who was eating with us on one table was always priceless every time when he was opening the boxes. It was a personification of a man who was done, crying inside and knowing he can’t escape

-the most traumatizing experience after my hip surgery was PEEING. The nurse brought me a bed pan and I needed to pee while laying on my back and it was weirdly difficult, maybe because the nurse was standing over me, talking to another patient. Also, I can’t imagine taking a shit while laying, but whatever. On one moment after like a minute me trying hard, she put a hand on my stomach and said, oh so hard. My face was probably a mix between: ==’ and O.O. But in the end I succeeded, yay…

-another traumatizing experience is measuring the temperature every morning around 6. You know, you are sleeping, but suddenly feel some movement, so you open your eyes and a nurse, wearing a mask is aiming a thermometer that looks like a gun at your forehead. Amazing feeling

-I talked with some dude who had the same surgery aka hip removal, but he was not sleeping so he herd everything, and said how blood was gushing all over the place and the surgeons and the nurse was bringing the artificial hips three times, because the surgeons were not sure if they are the good ones. FUN

-btw, the first time when I saw a dead body was in a hospital. There was a ward where one room was for children, the rest was for adults after accidents etc. Sometimes someone died and they were usually putting the dead body to the bathroom on the corridor (no toilets at the rooms, it was one of the two bathrooms for whole ward). They usually put an “out of service” paper on the door, but sometimes they forgot about it. So, one night, me, sleepy and yawning went to the toilet, opened the door and hellooooooooooo the end of my innocence.

-the most stressful experience from my childhood hospital stayings was “did you defecate yesterday”? Because if you didn’t for a few days an enema was waiting