#crocowani

[bakkfity]

Who knows how many weeks ago I found the CrocoRosi ship and read some fanfictions about them... and oh my.

There was those kind of stories where they met at Marineford, Rosinante still a marine, Crocodile already as a shichibukai. I checked the ages and the years but I am not sure it could work in the canon story line…still. I really like the idea of them bonding before and after meetings, Crocodile the one who gave Rosinante his first cigar etc… always yearning, but neither of them taking the first step. I really love all the drama so it is not a surprise that these stories always ended bad because well yeah Rosinante died.

Here comes my Impel Dawn au, where Rosinante survived but still lived in prison for 11 years.

Sorry about my english, it is not my native language and I almost never use it….

[eroguron0nsense]

The Mysterious Mysteries of Mr Sir Crocodile (Character Analysis)

(Apologies in advance for discrepancies from my usual tone and for holding off on everyone who voted for this on my last poll. Honest to God I hope y'all enjoy this in some capacity because I've been procrastinating on this meta so long it's derailed ALL my other One Piece writing and I only accomplished it through addy-fuelled mania)

This was such a fucking pain to write. I really wanted to say something about Crocodile and what makes him so fascinating that wasn't like, another fan theory or just a set of headcanons, but that's easier said than done?? We could boil it down to immaculate design, screen presence, attitude, or just the fact that he got brought back as an unlikely ally who shocked everyone by saving the protagonist, but I don't know that those factors in and of themselves make for a villain who's become such an object of fandom obsession.

Whatever it is, it's certainly not backstory or depth, because 24 years and hundreds and hundreds of chapters after his introduction, we still know nothing about Sir Crocowani's past beyond a vague confrontation with the Late Great Edward Newgate (that apparently like, ruined his dreams or something?), and some totally-not-just-a-threat-to-out-him-if-he-betrayed-the-alliance blackmail material the Queen of the Queers is holding over his sandy reptilian ass. I was born and grew into adulthood in the time it took Oda to tell the world fuck all about where he's from or his inner thoughts, or his actual honest motivations and traumas.

All we have about this character are questions. Why did he save Luffy and Ace –very conspicuously after both of their lineages were revealed to the world– against all logic and reason? Does he have ties to the revolutionaries? Is he the long-lost son of Rocks D. Xebec? Did he bounce on Comrade Dragon's Monkey D and squirt out the fucking Warrior of Liberation? I assume Oda's going to tell us more about him, but at this point, he's managed to keep a tighter lid on Sir Crocs, Inc.'s past than the fucking Secret History

You may be wondering, dear reader: what the fuck is my point? What is there, at this final stage of Long Running Pirate Manga, for me–Frankie EroGuroNonsense, OP Tumblr Community Z-lister with like, 7 mildly popular meta posts under my belt–to write about the legendary Sir Krokorok that hasn't already been said or theorized? What eagle-eyed observations did I make while rereading Alabasta and writing toxic Crobin fanfic? Am I going anywhere with this? Sorta. Yeah.

Let's start with listing things we actually know about Crockpot, in roughly chronological (??) order: –attended Gol D.'s execution way back when he was my age, along with anyone else who's anyone from his generation.

–At some point, met and was known well enough by Iva that she could effectively blackmail him

–Made it far enough on the Grand Line, somehow getting to the New World, and managed to pick up an 81,000,000 bounty (low end for a warlord, presumably scouted fairly early in his career)

–Wanted to be Pirate King until he gave up on it, not 100% explicitly confirmed but most likely due to getting his ass beat so badly by Whitebeard that he settled for picking off small fry and racketeering behind a government desk job. This makes him profoundly relatable to the rest of us depressed fucking losers who acquiesce to our own mediocrity.

–At 30, after presumably licking his wounds for a hot minute, sets up shop in Alabasta, comes up with a clever evil plan to quietly build up enough arms to conquer the world with a WMD, and then gets his years-long bioterrorist coup attempt foiled by a 17-year-old.

The rest we know: after a brief moment of glory as the unsung MVP of Impel Down/Marineford, he immediately reverts to Failguy Mode, gives all his money to a literal clown, and consequently gets roped into the neverending uncontrollable PR nightmare that is Cross Guild. It's still super vague and we know little to nothing about his past before the Alabasta Saga (for all we know he had a fling with King Cobra)

...Onto his personality and mannerisms. This shit's a lot more revealing. Superficially, he's everything: immaculate Bond villain levels of charismatic villainy, unbelievably ostentatious, dripped out like a Pimp, constantly smoking cigars, absolutely dripping with smugness and grease and disdain. Owns exotic pets and a giant casino, and spends every waking moment either grinning like a maniac when he's got the upper hand or storming around in a fucking mood when anything goes mildly wrong.

He's also pretty hardened underneath all that, obviously couldn't have lived a day on the grand line or survived Impel Down Torture otherwise. But even in Alabasta, Crockery gives off an air of being distinctly more grounded and willing to get his hands dirty than other flashy, established villains who flaunt their wealth and status. A big part of it is just his really hyper-masculine indomitable tough guy persona, but even early on he's very much micromanaging his operation, fighting people hand to hand in (as opposed to, say, Doffy, who literally puppeteers people while lounging around) and makes a point to keep almost all of his followers at a distance and rely on them as little as possible. He rants a bit about how dreams and whatnot are pointless follies, as One Piece antagonists tend to do, and repeatedly taunts Vivi about how her idealism can't save her, but with the context that he wanted to find Laughtale himself, it feels a lot like projection.

The character trait that's harped on a LOT in canon, and probably the most pertinent one to whatever demons he has, is Croconaw's profound pathological distrust for everyone around him. It's a huge part of what makes him a good early foil to the Nefertari family and the Straw Hats, whose collective strength is derived from organic human connection; Crocalor, by contrast, makes sure that up until the very last moment, he keeps most of his people so distant from him that they genuinely have no idea he's even their boss. His relationship with Robin is interesting, but he turns on her immediately when he realizes she either can't or won't give him the location of Pluton and has his dramatic stabbing/"I forgive you" lines about how he never trusted her or anyone from the start. He says the same shit to Mihawk when he suggests they join forces, even citing their mutual distrust as a kind of paradoxical justification for why they'd actually work well together.

Arguably the only exception is Daz Bones, but even that relationship is still a pretty reserved one; one of the few traits Daz exhibits is a similar avoidance of human connections to his boss and even though they've ironically formed a bond despite it, I can't imagine that they're emotionally close. I find these more explicit declarations of paranoia a lot less indicative of what's actually going on in Croconut's head than subtext, but I feel inclined to mention them just because it more or less tells us that his background/trauma has something to do either with betrayal or alternatively just being jaded and deprived to the point of self-isolation.

Krookodile's character gets a little bit more interesting when we get to see him again in Impel Down being a smug little manipulative rascal right up until he gets blackmailed by his endocrinologist, which is definitely medical malpractice but also funny as hell. I also appreciate that literally the first thing he does after getting out of his cell is change into a big coat and cravat to keep up appearances, but it's not until Marineford proper that things get really complicated. Saving Luffy and Ace is the first selfless thing we see Crobat do–while yelling at Luffy that he needs to protect what matters to him properly, no less– and he just keeps fighting for them after that, teaming up with his most hated rival crew to cover Luffy's retreat and telling the entire WG to go fuck itself multiple times over. He fights everyone on sight with no regard for his own safety, talks mad shit to Doffy, and demonstrates a genuinely compelling amount of honest to god chivalry.

For a short time, we see Crocomotive less as a really entertaining cartoon villain and more as a person with hidden, profound emotions and a confusing moral code that's seemingly incompatible with the vicious little creature we met in Alabasta. We come to understand, in a few very brief lines that give us way more questions than answers, that Cromagnon has deep-seated, emotional convictions he actively suppresses, and that whatever baggage he has is probably tied to wanting to or failing to save something of his own. His resentment of Newgate, who he really really wants to have a go at (despite theoretically no longer caring about the ambitions of his youth) is indicative of a desire to revisit the fight that probably ruined his dream and ego, but it's also tinged with a deep-seated grudging respect for a living legend.

Crock–Afire Explosion's obvious seething hatred of Doffy also gives us a few more insights into what's wrong with him. On a surface level, it makes sense that he dislikes a profoundly obnoxious, even flashier fellow warlord who achieved more or less the same goal he set out to in a shorter time, fucks with his business, and then mocks him/tries to recruit him right after his very public defeat and imprisonment. He postures a lot, especially with his lines insisting he's on a higher level and that Doffy could only ever join him as a subordinate, but he's visibly steamed in their initial encounter and clearly hasn't liked him for quite some time. I bring this up because if we stretch our interpretation a little (for the sake of my argument), Croc Holliday's distaste for someone who's (outwardly) so much like himself and embodies all of his villainous characteristics from back in Alabasta might also suggest that deep down, he doesn't actually like the things they have in common; he sees right through Doffy because he's done the same shit and he hates what he sees.

Having gone over all that, I've come up with some key characteristics of Crocomelon that I'll use going forward:

–Extremely performative: puts an ungodly amount of energy into maintaining a carefully curated persona, and projecting a certain amount of power, masculinity, and prestige. Not necessarily an unnatural or inauthentic one, but a constructed and purposeful one nonetheless

–Deep-seated paranoia, hidden secrets; probably intertwined. Keeps personal details on tight, tight lockdown, probably afraid of being known.

–Constant projection of his own insecurities and failures onto other people, making a point to be uniquely cruel in Alabasta to an idealist who loves her people and a dreamer who wants to be the Pirate King.

Ironically, he demonstrably respects and defends two people–Luffy and Whitebeard–who theoretically embody everything he hates or scorns (ambition, goodness, love, connection, romanticism, greatness in the traditional sense) and he intensely dislikes the villain most like himself, or at least the one who shares a lot of his worst characteristics (ostentatious manipulative scheming rat bastard backed by people stronger than himself) –The Grinch's heart grew three sizes at Marineford because of like, the compelling power of brotherly love and reminders of his youth or something

SPECULATION, CONCLUSIONS??

The difficulty with writing anything definitive about Crocko's Basilisk is that he's such a mystery, which functionally lets the fanbase project literally whatever weird personality traits, potential backstories, or anything else they could possibly come up with onto him. So I want to be clear that I have absolutely no interest in theorizing about the specifics of his past or secret identity or potential baby daddy or anything along those lines; I'm only interested in what we can infer about his personality by extrapolating from canon. And the conclusion I keep coming back to, the one that I'm convinced is true on some level, is that Crocodile is living a lie and he fucking hates himself. Everything he does, from how he acts to what he claims to believe, is a desperate effort to cope with his own insecurity and failure and cover up a past version of himself he's deeply ashamed of.

Now, unfortunately, Oda did not conceive of Crocodile as a trans man but stories belong to the people and we can do what we want let's forget about that and play it straight because he's constantly performing gender as a means of compensating for a deep-seated shame and self-loathing from whatever traumas and secrets he keeps hidden. Even assuming he's a cis man, he deliberately chooses a hypermasculine persona with a Capital V Villain moniker and pimp outfit and speech pattern he's carefully curated to project masculine power–physical, political, and financial–and we know it's performance because we see him break kayfabe and get legitimately fucking angry whenever he's confronted by a person like Luffy, who's crazy and brave enough to try and do what he couldn't and risk everything for love and hope that he cannot bring himself to feel for another person, or reminders of the past he tries so desperately to bury.

The lessons he's wrongfully obtained from his past are as follows: Idealism is a weakness. Dreaming is a weakness. Connections to other people and being known are crippling liabilities (If he is, in fact, trans and closeted, that's all the more reason to be existentially disgusted by what he used to be). All the hope he brought to the Grand Line, all the excitement of trying to carry on where Roger left off, needs to be purged and buried because all he got to show for it was loss and humiliation. But he can't stop wanting more, and ironically, after he gives up on conquering the Grand Line, he ends up chasing the same fucking poneglyphs and weapons because his ambition's still there; it's just compromised and much more jaded.

Everything he does that's seemingly contradictory makes sense when you realize that Crocodile resents his failure and wants to avenge himself. He makes a big show of talking down to Luffy and Vivi's petty ideals and shit-talking Newgate and his family, but he still wants to fight Whitebeard like he did way back when and help Luffy protect what matters to him. He hates Doffy, who's honestly just a more successful schemer than he is because it's a constant reminder of what he settled for when he took that warlord post and fucking gave up. He claims to trust no one, but he keeps Daz by his side and rewards his loyalty because he can't help but trust someone who respects him so deeply and follows him to the ends of the fucking earth long after losing the material incentive to do so. He claims to look down on people who aim for the stars and fight for love and joy and freedom and yet, in his most vulnerable moments–not in the face of violence or imprisonment, but when he's emotionally compelled to defend a child and help save his brother–we see how badly he wants that for himself.

TLDR: Crockman Holic is deeply insecure in his masculinity, desperately needs psychological help, and his character/potential redemption arc in One Piece is just dealing with his midlife crisis.

[eroguron0nsense]

Straw Hats Pokemon League AU Part 2

Part 1 : Gym Leaders (Usopp, Chopper, Nami, Brook, Franky, Robin, Jinbe, Sanji) I thought of making the elite 4 yonko or former yonko, warlords etc but it got a bit weird figuring out who would qualify for it so I figured I'd just choose four of my favourite characters and run with it. As stated in the previous post, everyone is alive and well and it's all very wholesome; I'm not making an evil team either because there's too many goddamn antagonists to establish something coherent. All elite 4 members get full teams off the bat because I can

Ground Specialist Nefertari Vivi: Vivi is part of a tradition of ground type elite 4 members including her dad and Crocodile and she’s thriving! Cobra is doing just fine and both of them have mentored her to varying degrees, although she still maintains (justifiably) that Crocodile is an asshole. I like the idea of her wearing her coronation outfit in the official league battles and switching to more casual stuff when you actually see her in her hometown. Golduck is there as a tribute to Karoo, and the Sandaconda is a nod to Cobra. Hippowdon would help set up sand streams but also per the first post it’s implied that she gave Nami a hippopotas egg that hatched from her own. Cobra has a Nidoking and Crocowani has a Krookodile. Team: Golduck, Garchomp, Sandaconda, Gastrodon, Hippowdown, Nidoqueen

Fire Specialists Portgas D. Ace and Sabo: Ace is the successor to Whitebeard’s old elite 4 position, and *dealing with some stuff* after a lifetime of inferiority complex knowing he’s the son of a former GOAT champion. After you clear the league, he decides to take a bit of a mental health break and Sabo fills in for him, although you can still find him for rematches. I almost almost gave Brook the Skeledirge because I wanted him to have more musical Pokemon, but I thought it’d be funny to give Ace a ghost type (wink wink nudge nudge) His team’s not the most balanced in that it has a lot of sweepers and is very offence oriented, but I think that suits his character and there’s some thought behind it (lots of drought and heat rocks to nerf water as much as possible and boost the team, probably an air balloon here and there to help balance out the ground weakness, and give the Incineroar and Armarouge some fighting moves to counter rock types). Sabo is also kind of a fire specialist, but he gets lots of dragon types as a tribute to his mentor and signature attacks in canon. He also gets a Charizard to kind of link the two brothers since the Mera Mera doesn’t exist in this world. Ace’s Team: Volcarona, Mega Charizard-Y, Drought Torkoal, Armarouge, Skeledirge, Incineroar Sabo’s Team: Mega Charizard X, Haxorus, Ceruledge, Chandelure, Turtonator, Salamence

Mixed Dark/Fairy Specialist Charlotte Katakuri: I was caught between having either him or Kidd as the third elite 4 member but I ended up choosing Katakuri just because I personally enjoy him more. I thought of giving him a dessert team at first but there’s no donut Pokemon as of yet and I figured that would suit Linlin better in the event that I do make a team for her, so I’m giving him a lot of dark and fairy types. Mismagius and Hatterene are both there as tributes to Brûlée and I wanted to give the bitey boy something known mostly for its extremely prominent hidden jaw as his ace/signature Pokemon  Team: Grimmsnarl, Obstagoon, Clefable, Mismagius, Hatterene, Mega Mawile

Ice/Water Specialist Trafalgar D. Water Law: Law still has his submarine, although he uses it a bit more for research purposes; you run into him in the Polar Tang while you’re being dragged around doing underwater side quests at Jinbei’s behest. The Beartic, Cetitan and Empoleon are there mostly as tributes to Bepo, Shachi/Hakugan, and Penguin, and he leans toward ice/water specialization because of his crew and their polar theming. I thought about giving him an Eiscue, but I figured Empoleon would help balance the team a bit more and generally feels slightly more sword-fighty. Alolan Ninetales is the exception to the polar marine animal theme (although ig it could technically be an arctic fox) but it’s mainly just there to set up hail and I don’t think Aurorus suits Law any better. I thought of giving him an arctozolt to match the colour scheme of the Polar Tang but I ended up choosing Weavile just because it seemed more aesthetically suited to him.  Team: Beartic, Cloyster, Cetitan, Empoleon, Alolan Ninetales (snow warning), Weavile

Champion Roronoa Zoro: Zoro is, at present, the champion of the region although he doesn’t really think it suits him, and straight up tells the player that someone else who’s stronger and who he’s deeply loyal to should really be in his place right now. His team is annoyingly, almost detrimentally sword-themed and painfully unbalanced. He’s basically the Wallace of this world, in that he’s got the chops to be where he is but he’s still basically filling in for the real champion/final boss (Luffy) It’s implied that he and Sanji had a massive fight over who should take the seat after Luffy stepped away from being the Champion; Sanji claims he chose his current job so that he could focus more on his cooking but keeps insisting he totally could have beaten Zoro is he really wanted to and it remains a major point of contention. The rest of their friend group is sick of it.   Team: Samurott, Scizor, Lucario, Mega Gallade, Absol, Kingambit

Final Boss: Pokemon Trainer Monkey D. Luffy This one’s a bit weird; Luffy’s team isn’t meant to be especially balanced or well thought out because Luffy isn’t a strategist and chooses his companions on pure instinct, but he still needs to have those mythical Zoan attributes, a monkey theme, and stand head and shoulders above all the other bosses, so I slapped a bunch of legendaries/mythical Pokemon that had Luffy vibes onto his team and let him approach battles with a “hit hard, ask questions later” kind of attitude. The Infernape was his starter and given to him by Ace, who obviously raises little fire types in his free time, and it’s there for the obvious Wukong connection. Annihilape kind of reminds me of gear 5, the Tauros is a tribute to Ucy/Moocy, Hoopa has chaos vibes, and Victini is there as a symbol of victory and liberation. Pokemon Trainer Luffy's Team: Paldean Tauros (Combat Breed), Infernape, Zarude, Annihilape, Hoopa, Victini

I figure other Yonko, Warlords, Supernovas, or major antagonists could be frontier brains or something along those lines but I have spent enough time coming up with Pokemon teams for now. 

[eroguron0nsense]

More ideas with the Impel Down Escape Team

Jinbei is an equity advisor at Ace/Robin/Sabo's University who does part time volunteering with the Whitebeards, gives self defence classes to youth (how he met the Straw Hats and basically became their dad) and is engaged in a lot of civil rights advocacy. He and Crocowani live in the same apartment complex (that part's loosely inspired by this lovely art of the Impel Down Escape Team all living together ) and they absolutely fucking hate each other.

Iva adopted Bentham as one of their huge brood of drag babies. The two of them were introduced at Bentham's insistence after Luffy happened to mention to Bon-chan that the Queen they'd worshipped as a teen and who'd inspired them get into drag in the first place was coincidentally his Godmother two whole years into their friendship.

Crocodile is a casino manager and aspiring hotelier and he's been working very very slowly for years towards sweet-talking Cobra and convincing him to invest in his money laundering hospitality ventures. He lives alone in an apartment with several beds he doesn't need and keeps ton of reptiles including a tank of baby gators. Jinbei is confident that this is illegal, violates the building code and he's pretty sure some of those animals are severely endangered exotic species that no one should even be able to buy without like, black market contacts, but apparently Crocodile bribed exactly the right people in all the right offices to let him keep doing it in spite of all the complaints his neighbors have been filing. Vivi thinks he's a sleazy fuck but can't seem to convince her dad of it just yet.

Galdino works under Croccy as an accountant but his real passion in life is his side hustle selling candle art. He makes really nice ones you sometimes see at craft fairs and maker's markets that look like food and flowers and animals or just beautifully carved abstract shapes and they're lovely, but unfortunately people are hesitant to buy them because they look too pretty and no one wants to melt them.

Assorted One Piece Modern AU HCs

The Whitebeard Pirates are all part of a shelter/relief/mutual aid network for drug users, unhoused people, and vulnerable youth. Ace looks up to them all immensely and volunteers part time, but he's still very much on a journey of self discovery and healing

Ace is a massive music nerd and hobbyist with a near encyclopedic knowledge of genre histories and subcultural spaces. He goes to a lot of local acts his friends are involved in, plays the drums and bass and hangs out at Brook's recording studio/jams with him from time to time while he's in town (Brook loves Luffy and his family, and he's just happy to entertain young people who make or love music and let them use the space). He's undecided in his major but kinda leaning toward sociology or social work.

(Rayleigh is his prof, and unbeknownst to him, a college buddy/old flame of his bio parents who recognized him immediately and has no clue what to do with himself.)

Sabo is, of course, a socialist student organizer in a poli-sci/law program and interning at Dragon's practice (grassroots activist turned civil rights lawyer). The ASL brothers live together in a shitty apartment with barely any heat. He's secretly a massive film snob and organizes Radical Documentary Screenings with Koala from time to time.

Dadan has a cabin like 2 hours outside the city in the mountains and the brothers crash there every now and then over the holidays. She's retired now and constantly gripes about having to feed and shelter her stupid kids every time they come home but she still gets teary whenever she watches them go. Their childhood bedroom and three bunk beds are perfectly preserved and cleaned, and she wouldn't ever dream of moving Ace's posters or Sabo's old bookshelf and criterion DVDs or Luffy's plushies and taxidermied insects.

Brook's band is a genre-blending indie darling that occasionally tours the country. I'm definitely not the first one to think of this, but Laboon is a Newfoundland with severe separation anxiety and Brook has to bring him on tour or to half of the group outings. The Rumbar Pirates are a local jazz act he performs with from time to time, and he may or may not have dated Calico Yorki.

Usopp (fresh out of high school) only recently reconnected with his father and they've been having awkward family dinners with Kaya but it's getting less weird having Yasopp around. He babysits the Usopp Pirates part time and they love him to pieces; he's low-key interested in studying Botany and horticulture and has been checking out local degrees and training programs.

Franky's in the middle of an auto mechanic apprenticeship and is debating trying to get into a mech eng program at Robin's university; he was raised by Tom as a carpenter, and has worked as one for a really long time, but he's increasingly getting into engines and inventing things and the family's very supportive. Robin's a Masters student doing an hourly TA thing in Clover's class on Archaeology of the Void Century, and they're high school sweethearts.

Sanji, naturally, works at the Baratie and Zeff lets him brainstorm and test daily specials or set menus for holidays. He and Pudding are in the same patissier courses at culinary school (she's obviously a baking major); they're exes who've stayed friends and care deeply for each other. The ASL brothers sometimes pick up shifts at the Baratie (with the exception of Luffy who broke way too many dishes)–Zeff really likes all of Sanji's friends and dumps leftovers on them