#critiquepaper

[lifeinparagraph]

Hong Kong - His Hometown

In this essay, i critiqued the author’s work about his experience in Hong Kong. There were errors but I still think this is a good paper. 

           Dweyne Mosqueda’s Travel Essay talks about his experiences in Hong Kong. He was born and raised in Hong Kong until he was grade 5. He stated that this place is a good suggestion when travelling because of its clean environment and delicious street food. What he really liked to do in Hong Kong was to eat their Chinese soups. His experience in Disneyland was his most memorable moment in Hong Kong. Below would be my evaluation on his travel essay which includes the strengths and weaknesses and my recommendations for the paper.

            There are strengths and there are also weaknesses with Dweyne’s work. What was good about the paper was that the information about Hong Kong was organized. His choices of words in the paper were not complex. In other words, it can be easily understood. He also applied the required format on writing a travel essay. He started his work by stating several and different information about the place. The body of his paper were his experiences and backstory of Hong Kong. He also stated his conclusion at the end of the paper which follows one way in writing a paper. His main idea on his work was that he stated that Hong Kong is a good place to travel. He supported his main idea with supporting evidences. His supporting idea includes how clean the place is and how delicious the foods were which supports the idea that this place is good for travelling. What was also good about the paper was that he did not only stated the wonderful things that they did, he also included his backstory in Hong Kong. These are the strengths of Dweyne’s work.

          However, there are also weaknesses on Dweyne’s work. I think that the paper lacks content. Yes, it was good that he stated his backstory but I think he went beyond a little because almost half of the paper was his backstory in Hong Kong. He could have included stating various experiences in his stay in Hong Kong. His concluding sentences were about his life lessons which is not included when writing a travel essay. He did not thoroughly proof read his work because there was a spelling error. There were also minimal words and sentences that were redundant.

          I recommend that Dweyne should prioritize and choose what content he has to write in a paper.  The content should correlate with the type of paper that you were assigned to write. He should have also stated more supporting evidences on his most memorable moment in Hong Kong. I also recommend that he should proof read his paper in order to identify and fix mistakes in grammar and spelling. But overall, I had fun reading Dweyne’s travel essay as it was entertaining and it has caught my attention.

[hanybuttersworld]

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina critique paper

The Tv show “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” Is one of the best teen drama series 2018 of October 26 in America. Shows us the teenage Sabrina, the witch (Kiernan Shipka) with her adventures during her teenage years, in some point her life is a bit similar to our teenage life, whereas it shows us the point of having a relationship, life of a high school student, and for example balancing witchcraft and school to her life and just as what we do. This is a coming-of-age drama of the Netflix original series created by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, is that this is based on the original series of 1996 and a comic book as well, it is rarely much of an adventure. The creator wants to show us that even though she failed to choose to be with her family and live as a full witch but then she chooses both paths by being a witch and a normal teenager in the human world in school, to be with her friends at the same time because friendship is important too.

When we meet Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka), she’s carefully crossing days off her calendar, leading to the date where she’s written “16th birthday” and, just underneath that, “dark baptism.” It’s hard being a teenager these days. Or whatever days “Sabrina” is set in: The show has a ’50s retro aesthetic, from the cars to the crinoline, but modern sensibilities about feminism, gender expression, and the costs of serving as Satan’s handmaid.

Sabrina is half-witch, half “mortal” — her father was a powerful warlock and her mother a regular human, and since they died, Sabrina has been raised by her witch aunts (Lucy Davis and Miranda Otto) in a musty funeral home. They’re insistent that she does right by the Spellman family name and give herself, body and soul, to the Church of Night.

In other words, Sabrina doesn’t want to submit to baptism, and she doesn’t want to sign her life over to the Dark Lord. She wants to stay in the ordinary world, alongside her doting boyfriend, Harvey (Ross Lynch), and her spunky besties, Roz (Jaz Sinclair) and Susie (Lachlan Watson). Once you enlist in Satan’s service, you can’t have silly sleepovers anymore.

We all see that like any teenage hero, Sabrina would rather do things her way. “I want freedom and power,” she pleads. Too bad, toots — it’s a man’s world out there, and shivering teenage virgins kneeling in their white slips while powerful older men anoint their foreheads with blood is just how things go. This goes to something we began to realize Sabrina is going to have her own choices in life even though it is scary and hard as she thought it would be.

The girl meets her fate but not just now, not until she decided to choose both ways in continuing attending school for humans and beginning a new life at her school for witchcraft and warlocks. She did meet a boy in her new school who was Nicholas Scratch (Gavin Leatherwood) beginning to know each other through their school. Only then do they discover that they are meant for each other, and needed to learn and grow from one another’s feelings.

Kiernan Shipka is a good actress. This tv show brings us to her teenage world, deciding for her own good. Through all the adventures she had from telling her friends, she is a witch, her getting into the new school with the three sisters who bully her, her miserable life, following the rules of their coven, finding her true self, getting to know who she really is.

Getting closer to danger to finding out her real father, then her friends start to get used to her life, and by that them being involved and more mysteries lurking in the small town of Greendale. It is a very twisting life for her when everything around her is weird and from her imposter teacher who is Lilith who then tries to kill her but in the middle of the series, they got to be friends, though because of power and Sabrina finding out truths about her father. That this made quite the story of her being twisted and chilling. It made her character more interesting than ever, and now in season 3, she began to be more powerful than she could have imagined. It is nice that they had to make some changes to her attitude and the hair though and how she looks now because of her being powerful with her aura. It is very amazing how the plot twisted her tale; in season 2, it was revealed that Lucifer Morningstar was Sabrina's father as her mom and dad asked him for help to have a child. With this new revelation, Sabrina also realized her fate in becoming Queen of Hell and tried to put a stop to Lucifer's plan, to some success.

This then goes by that in the brain-breaking subject at hand is the time-traveling twist of CAOS season 3, when Shipka's heroine Sabrina Spellman jumps back in time to save her family in the finale “Sabrina Is Legend” — thereby allowing at least two Sabrinas to exist on Earth and in Hell. Another chilling adventures got Sabrina into. This is where everything in the present had change a lot by Sabrina fixing everything and having a plan to her life and now she had two Sabrina and one can be with her father Lucifer and one can live in the human world. Later on somehow the truth of having two Sabrina goes out and made things clear. So in that case the primary conflict in CAOS Season 4 revolved around Sabrina's two identities — Sabrina Spellman and Sabrina Morningstar (they'll be referred to as "Spellman" and "Morningstar" from here on out) — and their loved ones defeating the eight Eldritch Terrors invited into their realms by Faustus Blackwood (Richard Coyle)...

At the end of the day during the final scene of the series finale, it was revealed that Nick went swimming in the Sea of Sorrows and was killed by the "wicked undertow." So, he reunited with Sabrina in "the sweet hereafter" and they stayed together forever in the afterlife.

The constant haze and unnatural color palette make “Sabrina” a dead ringer for CW’s murder-soaked spin on the Archie comics “Riverdale,” which is no surprise. The Sabrina character is part of the greater Archie universe, and the two shows share a creator, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. In all the ways that “Riverdale” turns Archie and the gang into “Twin Peaks” Junior, “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” is more like “True Blood” For teenagers, with a parade of supernatural entities and ever-present mythology that threatens to bleed the joy out of the storytelling.

Like most Netflix originals, “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” is the wrong number of episodes. It could have been a taut and thrilling shorter series, or a set-’em-up, knock-’em-down occult procedural like “Supernatural.” Instead, it’s not quite either, and it burns through its most interesting parts while stalling out at its fullest.

Sabrina triumphs over bullies and monsters and misogynists, with maggot-filled apples littering her path, but the series gets repetitive. After a while, determined women shouting Latin incantations while scowling at the camera starts to feel like Harry Potter runoff. The obstacles are too familiar and too pat, and no one is ever really a match for Sabrina’s derring-do.

When it’s humming along, though, “Sabrina” is a blast. It’s a horror show, with demons galore and a threatening posse of young witches who dress alike and move in an undulating herd. It knows what “The Craft” knew, which is that teenage girl rage is a powerful force.

The creator Roberto Aguirre-Sacsa did make a fine well portrayal of a teenage Sabrina would be. It is amazing to see how adventures of Sabrina turned out to be horrifying, supernatural, and dark. It gives us how important friendship is, how we realize how much we love that person, being their for each other, and never afraid to try things. This so far my favorite tv show that I have chance to watch on netflix on the year of 2020(summer)

[abnlyes]

Critique Paper: Footnote to Youth by Jose Garcia Villa

One of the most powerful literary influence in the Philippines, Jose Garcia Villa, wrote a very credible short story denominated Footnote to Youth. Wherein it talks merely about real life scenarios as it emphasizes the youth, responsibilities and marriage.

The story itself is entitled “footnote’’,which means that the note or the message to the reader, specifically to the youth, is found at the very end of the story. That the reader should be the one analyse as to what the story wants to showcase or if the story have more than one valid interpretation. Therefore, the approach used is reader-response approach, as it focuses typically to the readers or the audience of the story.

Marriage in a very young age, especially when you are not ready with the consequences together with it, will give birth to more problems. In the very first part of the story, Dodong a seventeen-year old young boy, was very eager to marry this girl named Teang. So even in the beginning of the story, the author was already giving a clue or idea on what is his story all about — early marriage. On the second paragraph, I was a little bit bothered as to what’s with the worm that it’s actions towards Dodong are so detailed. So I found out, after reading the whole story, that the worm symbolizes Dodong. Innocent, blind and low in class. The author really has a logical mind that even in the smallest things, he can captivate the reader’s mind to give meaning to it. The young man, walked fast with deep thoughts about Teang, to ask the blessing of his father for their marriage. His father asked him “Must you marry Dodong?”, this line, for me, has a very big significance in the story. It only has four words but it says a lot of things. It is like the author itself is asking, “Are you ready to commit with your decisions in life?” or “Do you think you are knowledgeable enough for these actions?” and something like that. 

The scenes are partly organized and unorganized. Organized because I have understood mostly the parts of the story. But I am just not sure with the wrong punctuation marks, misspellings and repetition of sentences if those are really intended or just typos. I was a bit confused at the part where the point of view suddenly shifted from Teang to Dodong. Now Teang’s point of view is an another essential of the story. She somehow regretted marrying at a very young age and daydreaming about the past. But I like how the author also exhibited as to what Teang’s realizations are. Indeed, history repeats itself. This has been proved when Blas, one of Dodong’s children, has been fitting his father’s old shoes. Dodong and Teang, married at a very young age, and by this, they might not had enough wisdom to raise their children and ended up full of regrets in life.

The youth is the hope of the motherland. We are our country’s hope. Teenagers nowadays are impulsive and aggressive, whatever they think and feel at the moment, they want to do it right away. This story has been written for our minds to be open on the possible things that can happen if we wouldn't be heedful with our actions. We should think before jumping into big decisions in life and while still young, set priorities in life. Because if a decision is made, be ready to face and accept its consequences.

[dodongmario]

Footnote to Youth by: Jose Garcia Villa

A new set of words and phrases came to life and cast it way into the world and creates a story entitled, “Footnote to Youth”. Written by a literary critic, short story writer, poet, painter, and award-winning Filipino author; Jose Garcia Villa. The story orbits around a boy (Dodong) who burdened the life of a teenager and experienced the different spectrum of love and it’s consequences due some regrettable mistakes.

The author exercises his arch of passion in writing by bringing the readers first into a scene where Dodong, a boy in his teenage years is contemplating how would he tell to his parents about his relationship with Teang and his decision to marry her. The author uses characterization to show how Dodong was really serious about marrying Teang in order to bring out and portray the compassionate hearts of every Filipino youth. His character was vividly presented in the story as an happy and impulsive persona who let hearts win over mind. He decided immediately to an extent that he doesn’t consider all the possible consequences he will be facing in marrying Teang in an early age, and Villa never really doubted his talents in writing to evidently point the stage or status of our youth today in connection to all issues the youth are facing today and tomorrow. The message of the story can be really understood from the differences that subsists from the generation of the youth now and before using the historical criticism to bring out the transition of values and morals of the teenagers now and before. Villa also uses psychological approach ti emphasize and vividly gave an example to the unending cases of teenage pregnancy that leads to regretted mistakes. He also uses feminism approach to show how women especially the Filipino women are.

The message the author was trying to convey in the story was patchy and not that clear but if you really read and understand the whole text, you can really get what was the author trying to emphasized. He was trying to explain set of ideas which made the story as an illustration of the Filipino youth today aging 13-17 in today’s society. In which teenage pregnancy and pre-marital sex became such a norm that we sometimes not get shocked hearing this in the news, and Villa were able to give corresponding examples for this which is 1) when Dodong himself realized his impulsiveness and started to regret his decision marrying Teang in an early age and; 2) Teang who was also been troubled about the challenges she faced after her marriage to Dodong and doubted if what would be her life if she picked Lucio, who is more older than Dodong. Villa were also able to think of a way in order for his thoughts to sprean by using his pen, when Blas (Dodong’s son) wanted to marry Tonya at the age of 18, and he asked his father about this which Dodong wanted not to grant his son’s request but he abstain that thought and immediately granted Blas’ request to marry Tonya not telling the fact that what he was asking his father will surely change his way of living because of early marriage and all the obstacles he will be facing after. However, the author doesn’t satisfies the readers curiosity on what is the feeling and point of views of Teang after the marriage.

The author ultimately bled his pen in order to show and bring the readers attention how the society and the youth of today is transitioning which Villa really did a great job. Truly, the story “Footnote to Youth” is such an eye-opener for the teenagers today and I think reading this will make one teenager knows what to do and surely understand the consequences he/she might be facing after. Love will always be a strong word in this world because it does not affect our hearts but also our life after. We sometimes have to control our affection to each other in order for us not to decide things not still appropriate for our age. Love will always be waiting in a waiting shed in our lives, waiting for us to pass by, so let’s start trusting destiny and see it magic work and also believe in God’s magic.

[extraordinarybless-blog]

Footnote to Youth

A single decision can make your whole life different. Yes, it is scary to make a big change but there is one thing that is even scarier, regret. Footnote to Youth taught me to be responsible in my decisions and choices in life. Even though this story was written a long time ago still, it is relevant until today. This is one of the works of Jose Garcia Villa; he is a poet, a critic, a short story writer and a painter.

A footnote is an additional information to the readers or simply, a reminder, the author want to leave a lesson to the youth to think many times in making decisions. The purpose of this critique is to understand more the message of the story, to know why it is timeless and learn why this story is not just for the youths but also for the grown-ups. The reader should read and interpret first the story to have its meaning that is why I used the readers-response method. Your life will change the moment you make a decision. After marrying Teang at the young age, Dodong faced by the reality of his chosen life. The history repeat itself when his son, Blas turned 18 and Dodong does not want him to make the same mistake.

The short story reflects the life cycle of a man based on his decisions. How his single decision changed his whole life. The first line, “The sun was salmon and hazy in the west” makes me think of Dodong being in love and at the same time uneasy because he is going to ask permission from his father to marry his girlfriend, Teang. This line also makes me wonder of the countryside. He is just 17 but for him he is already a grown man, for me it is not just the physical features will define your maturity. When he asked his father for his blessing, there was a cruel silence maybe he want his son to think twice about pursuing a marriage life because it is a big decision aside from the fact that he is still very young. His father knows what might happen because his father himself had married early but still he gave his blessing. I can tell that his family is not living in fancy kind of life and Dodong is already working and no longer studying. Instead of thinking a way to help his family, he decided to marry his girlfriend. They rushed into marriage thinking it is just about love for each other, but it is not. While waiting for his first child to be born, Dodong realized what he had done. He still feels young and inexperienced different to how he felt nine months ago, he was ashamed of it; he cannot change the things that is already there. We cannot go back in the past and undo things we regret. It is ironic to hear that Dodong did not want any more children but six more children came. Teang cried and wished that she had not married so young and wondered if she had married the other suitor, Lucio, she felt it is much better. Nevertheless, his love for Dodong conquered the thought that life made her ugly and all of the what-ifs. This part made me believe that when you are miserable love will find its way to make you look in the brighter side. The only thing they can do is face the consequences of their decisions. We should not just make a decision based on our current situation we should also consider what might happen in the future. This part also want us to realize to be aware of the responsibilities, as time pass by all of these are getting heavier. Dodong has a question he cannot answer. Even though he will find the answer there is no turning back and for him life did not fulfill all of youth’s dreams. Moreover, all of the opportunities is already wasted. What Dodong did when he was still 17 happened once again to his son, Blas. This scenario convinced me that the work of Villa proves history repeats itself. The story ended with Dodong feeling helpless.

The story is truly timeless and it gives a lesson to all-ages. The third person point-of-view helped me understand more the scenes. By reading this critique, you will know my side as a youth also about this story or did the author convinced me as a youth to be responsible in my decisions. Reading this story will leave a reminder to all, that your life is defined by your choices.

[kat1punera]

FOOTNOTE TO YOUTH

While Reading Footnote to Youth, I was so amazed by how the author simply delivers the big message to the Youth which is, the importance of making decisions in life.

Getting close to the main idea of the story, the story started with this line “The sun was salmon and hazy in the west”, was an implied comparison Dodong being in love. Being in love isn’t wrong, but at the very young age? Already thinking about marriage at the age of 17? I guess it is wrong. Dodong was just a young boy who thinks he was already a “Man” just because of his physical features such as the muscles, pimples and the mustache on his face. He was scared, felt hazy thinking will his father allow him to marry teang.

The author described a “short colorless worm marched blindly to Dodong’s foot and crawled clammily over it,” while Dodong was in deep thought about Teang. This is another significant object in the story. It gives a resemblance to Dodong who is by nature low in stature.

Dodong patiently waited for his Father’s response about the marriage. His father couldn’t do anything, wanted to say ‘No’ for Dodong’s sake.

Dodong and Teang had sweet youthful dreams but life did not give them what they wanted. I think, Marriage is not just about love for each other.

When Blas was born, Dodong was ashamed to his self, realizing the poor choices he did in those past 9 months. He felt devastated on how those things turned out in the short time.

Six years arrived, Teang realizes things she’d done, crying every night wishing she wasn’t married, she doesn’t have kids but in the other hand he loves dodong, he couldn’t do anything about it.

They both learned their lesson, there was no turning back for they have already seven hungry mouths to feed. There was no option left but to face the consequences.

Footnote by Youth is something that we should consider carefully for it, because it defects real life scenarios. Living a lesson we should hardly think about the decisions were making in life. As what Roy T. Benneth once said, “ You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.”

[lifeinparagraph]

A Memorable Trip to Dakak

 It is hard to critique a paper without being biased - especially if it is your friend’s output that you’re critiquing. However, we have to be open-minded when it comes to things like that. Here is an unbiased critique paper wherein I critiqued my friend’s work.

          Jasimah’s Travel Essay was a very good ready because as I read her Travel Essay, it was as if I was also travelling with them because of the way she narrated all the necessary details that happened in her trip and alongside. Also, Jasimah was able to creatively describe every scenery, every emotion she felt, and every moment she shared with her family. I was really amazed on In Jasimah Gutoc’s Travel Essay, she talked about her lovely trip to Dapitan together with her family. In the first part of her essay, she mentioned the things she brought for her trip to Dapitan like her Polaroid camera, rash guards, and other essential things for the trip. She also mentioned that as they drove to Dapitan, she did not remember any song that she played while she was on her earphones because as soon as she plugged it in, she was immediately put to sleep. And as she woke up after nine hours of sitting on their car, she mentioned that she was greeted by the dancing green trees of Dapitan. She went out of their car and went inside the resort that they were staying in, which she did not mention where. As she got inside the resort, she was astonished by the beach resort’s atmosphere and claimed that it gave her the vibe of being in an island because of the tall trees and wooden cottages that surrounded the resort. As they were inside their cottage, which had their beds with mushy mattresses, Jasimah mentioned that they stayed and rested there for almost an hour. After resting, they all got up from their beds and got ready for their trip to Fantasy Land on that same evening. As they finished preparing, they waited at the lobby at around 4:30 in the afternoon and waited for their shuttle which drove them to Fantasy Land. She mentioned that the other families that were with them were all excited and mentioned that they shared the same feeling. Jasimah mentioned that her favorite memory in Fantasy Land was her roller coaster ride. The next day, Jasimah mentioned that their family went to the beach and enjoyed some water adventures. On that same day, it was also their departure time which made Jasimah feel like all her worries were left behind as they left Dapitan. Jasimah’s Travel was a very good read because she was able to put only the necessary details during her trip, she was able to creatively describe her trip, and there were no grammatical errors.

          Jasimah’s Travel Essay was a very good ready because as I read her Travel Essay, it was as if I was also travelling with them because of the way she narrated all the necessary details that happened in her trip and alongside. Also, Jasimah was able to creatively describe every scenery, every emotion she felt, and every moment she shared with her family. I was really amazed on how she was still able to remember almsot every detail during her trip - from the color of her handbag and to the stuff she brought, even though it already happened years ago.

          There were also no grammatical errors in her essay and I could say that she really made an effort to make sure that her work will be a great one. I also liked how Jasimah only included necessary details about her trip to Dapitan and did not add unnecessary details that would make her essay dragging. Aside form that, the events were all in sequence and there was no missing details that would make you say, “What happened next?”.

          In conclusion, Jasimah’s Travel Essay was a great essay wherein you could really see that she took her time in writing it. It was well written and well thought of. The fact that she was able to describe almost every detail of her trip amazed me. Her essay was also very informative because of how she creatively described her trip to Dapitan. Also, there were no unnecessary details in her essay and the events were sequenced properly.

[the-internet-warrior]

Critique Paper

I don't use Tumblr that much but because of my teacher, I will have to post a paper (im not sure if it's still a paper when i post it online) of my critique on rage of angels. I'll be posting it soon. Harsh comments and no notes are appreciated. #critiquepaper #student #homework #rageofangels #sidneysheldon

[lifeinparagraph]

An Activator of the Five Senses

In this critique paper, I got interested with what the author wrote about her experiences when they had a vacation because she wrote on detailed in her essay partnered with creative words. You will feel like you are also in the vacation with her. 

            Travelling gives you a relief because it is an escape from all the stresses and problems you are experiencing especially when you are with your family. First of all, I would like to commend my partner’s/author’s nice and interesting travel essay. It’s obvious that she really had a great time when she and her family went on a vacation in Manila especially that it was her first time to ride an airplane. However, I recommend the author to put a title so that the readers will have an idea what will be the content or what the essay is all about. Also, it would be better if the author used justified text so that the output will look more organized and neat. What’s nice about the author’s output is that, it uses figurative languages that can create visual images in the mind and also she allows the readers to unlock unfamiliar words then discover its meaning and how they are used in the essay. The essay activates the readers’ five senses taste, smell, touch, hear and, sight. I like how the author organizes her thoughts and how she puts in order to create a sequence of events that are understandable. The author didn’t only put herself in her essay but took consideration of the readers. It also brings the audience in her experiences during her vacation which is catchy and worth to be read. It provides moral lessons and memorable experiences that the readers can also relate especially when having a vacation.

             The essay also evokes emotions and feelings which are important to be able for the readers to know what the mood and tone of the author in her output and what the readers would also feel. You could really imagine how beautiful the place they were in because of how the author wholeheartedly made her essay. Good thing about the essay is that, every paragraph has a different setting and not that discussed very detailed which is fine because too much detail about a certain topic causes the readers to get bored and find your essay uninterested. The essay consists enough words for the readers to understand and imagine what was happening in it. After I read it, I feel like I want to go on a vacation to those places where the author have been. I want to experience what she experienced and unwind too.

             Overall, if I would to rate the essay from a scale of 10, it would be 8 because it entertained me. It’s just that it has no title and justified alignment of the texts which I believe could be corrected and edited by the author. I suggest also to the author to add more of her experiences in her essay because I, personally, would want to know more or explore more of her vacation. Although the essay didn’t have to be that long, it ended well with a lesson. The author produced a well-made essay and she is very creative with her thoughts and used flowery words that added more impact in the essay and for the readers to enjoy reading it.

[lifeinparagraph]

Manila - A Family Vacation

To criticize is to judge something or someone, either objectively or subjectively. This critique essay, however, focuses more on the objective perspective of judging a travel essay written by a colleague. The writer of this essay looks at both the strengths and weaknesses of the said work.

           Travelling gives you a relief because it is an escape from all the stresses and problems you are experiencing especially when you are with your family. First of all, I would like to commend my partner’s/author’s nice and interesting travel essay. It’s obvious that she really had a great time when she and her family went on a vacation in Manila especially that it was her first time to ride an airplane. However, I recommend the author to put a title so that the readers will have an idea what will be the content or what the essay is all about. Also, it would be better if the author used justified text so that the output will look more organized and neat. What’s nice about the author’s output is that, it uses figurative languages that can create visual images in the mind and also she allows the readers to unlock unfamiliar words then discover its meaning and how they are used in the essay. The essay activates the readers’ five senses taste, smell, touch, hear and, sight. I like how the author organizes her thoughts and how she puts in order to create a sequence of events that are understandable. The author didn’t only put herself in her essay but took consideration of the readers. It also brings the audience in her experiences during her vacation which is catchy and worth to be read. It provides moral lessons and memorable experiences that the readers can also relate especially when having a vacation.

           The essay also evokes emotions and feelings which are important to be able for the readers to know what the mood and tone of the author in her output and what the readers would also feel. You could really imagine how beautiful the place they were in because of how the author wholeheartedly made her essay. Good thing about the essay is that, every paragraph has a different setting and not that discussed very detailed which is fine because too much detail about a certain topic causes the readers to get bored and find your essay uninterested. The essay consists enough words for the readers to understand and imagine what was happening in it. After I read it, I feel like I want to go on a vacation to those places where the author have been. I want to experience what she experienced and unwind too.

           Overall, if I would to rate the essay from a scale of 10, it would be 8 because it entertained me. It’s just that it has no title and justified alignment of the texts which I believe could be corrected and edited by the author. I suggest also to the author to add more of her experiences in her essay because I, personally, would want to know more or explore more of her vacation. Although the essay didn’t have to be that long, it ended well with a lesson. The author produced a well-made essay and she is very creative with her thoughts and used flowery words that added more impact in the essay and for the readers to enjoy reading it.

[lifeinparagraph]

A Memorable Trip to Dakak

Upon making this paper, I reviewed one of the best outputs in the class. It was told in a well organized and manner and makes you feel you want more. I  can never ask for a better output than this. 

           “A memorable trip to Dakak” was written by Jasimah Gutoc. It talks about how her whole family spent and enjoyed their stay in Dakak. A three-day trip in a beach resort where all of them were present and surrendering their selves to that vacation. They used the trip as breather from their everyday lives. It is full of happy moments and typical family vacations that gives you a smile on the face when reading it. The whole paper was written in a very descriptive manner. It was well written that everything is in details.

            The author started out how her morning went, added some conversations, that made me or the readers understand that she was going out with her whole family. She added some personal details, such as how her family calls her and the likes, which makes the paper interesting. As she narrates how they got to Dakak and how they arrived in Dakak, everything is in a realistic manner.

            She described and added conversations with her family that makes it much more exciting to read. When they rode the roller coaster, I liked how she described her hair as a “bruha” which adds a little humor to the paper. She ended it with a very nice line that can also put a smile in your face. We can all relate to what she meant that we all need a break from reality, an escape with our loved ones.

            Overall, the paper is well written, the details helped the build up of the paper. Everything in the paper complimented and the organization of the story was exquisite. It does not leave you hanging. When reading the whole paper, it was as if I was with them the whole trip. It is a very well written paper, that deserves to be part of the school publication.