#cringeworthy anime humor

[stinkrascal]

theres nothing i want more than for an older millennial couple to adopt me and my boyfriend i want to be friends with two millennials so badly

[eoieopda]

[ateez as tinder dudes]

this is a joke, but i’m also convinced that i’m correct, so… there’s that. also, don’t look at me, incorporating a fourth (FOURTH!!!) group on my blog. i don’t want to talk about it 🫣

hongjoong

he’s treating this like a portfolio. he’s got the max number of pics uploaded, and they’re all editorial, like he’s expecting to be scouted. is he repping a brand? is he just flexing that he’s got better style than you ever will? he knows this is tinder, right? no.

absolutely no bio, whatsoever. his age isn’t even listed, somehow. you know nothing about him except that he owns more than one cowboy hat, and honestly? that’s all you need to know.

you’re actually 98.4% sure that he’s a catfish — who just looks like that? — but that’s not going to stop you from swiping right to see if he did, too.

he did not.

seonghwa

he’s intentionally using pics of him with his mother, with kids, with small animals, etc. because he’s calculating. couldn’t be more of a targeted attack if the profile was computer-generated. frankly, you can’t say if it was or wasn’t. suspiciously perfect.

that’s where the tinder prowess stops. he doesn’t know how the swiping feature works so he’s swiped right on everyone. oops.

his bio has subsections — plural — with endearingly dorky interests laid out in full. he’s well-rounded and objectively attractive to literally all people. man is everybody’s type, esp. yours.

tragically, he has never once responded to a message, and he never will.

yunho

he must’ve made this as a joke, right? every picture of him is hilariously unflattering or a recreation of a meme or some childhood photo, except the last one — which is a meme. it’s something obscure that appeals to the sense of humor of exactly .01% of the population. you can tell by looking at him that he is chronically online and had unrestricted internet access as a kid.

his bio is also absurd. this dude has something like “my first words were, ‘this human form is limiting’”, and it’s extremely polarizing. on purpose. puts his whole personality right there, right from the get-go because it will ward the wrong people off and flag down the exact niche he’s targeting.

i feel like he’s either a lukewarm conversationalist that makes you wonder how the rest of his profile was so funny, or the first conversation is an incredible, god-tier bit — and then, when the bit runs its course, you realize that he deleted his profile, never to be seen again.

rip

yeosang

all of his pictures paint an image of someone hard and edgy, and you’ve got it all wrong. you’ve been fully bamboozled, bestie. that is a whole ass fairy princess.

always messages first and/or responds immediately, revealing that he’s the most “uwu” person of all time. seriously, what the fuck? people unironically use “hehehe”? in this day and age? ^_^

unexpected gem. the person he actually is isn’t someone you would normally shoot your shot with, but you’re not mad about it.

one of the rare few on the app who would rather die than find a hookup (the idea makes him itchy, okay?) but he will actually seek and find a future spouse, just watch.

san

most of his photos are of him and his friend (it’s wooyoung. of course it’s wooyoung), and the subtext is so confusing that you can’t tell if they’re looking for a third or are just guys being buds ??? what is happening, and why are you so into it?

the photos that don’t include his friend (boyfriend? seriously, what is going on there?) are all action shots because he needs you to know that he is athletic and built. you do not need to wonder what he looks like naked because he’s not wearing a shirt in any of them.

he’s got the stock photo equivalent of a bio. most uninteresting thing you’ve ever seen, so you do not hit him up.

you should have :( you would’ve loved him.

mingi

i regret to inform you that this man has the most cringeworthy online presence of all time. god, he’s so fuckboi-coded!! and you hate him for it, but you hate yourself even more for being into because you sure are, diva!!!

i feel like the song on his profile is extremely questionable, either because it’s some bizarre, ambient instrumental; by someone that’s been justifiably cancelled and you don’t know whether or not he knows that; or worse, it’s his own.

all of his pictures are group pictures. you cannot tell for the life of you which one of them he is, requiring you to go to the instagram he’s referenced in his bio — which is exactly the point. the instagram links to his soundcloud because it can get worse.

if you actually bite the bullet and respond to his shitty pick-up line, he’s the bbygirl to end all bbygirls. absolute heart of gold. you almost want to smack him for being so bad at marketing himself.

get him a PR person to straighten his shit out; mingi is fired.

wooyoung

this motherfucker has deleted and remade his profile 8,000 times because he needs to “reset his matches” aka has spent every waking moment swiping.

he probably pays for tinder so he can swipe in other locations — not because he’s looking for anyone, but because he wants people to look at him.

you have to wonder who took the photos because they’re sure as shit not selfies but they’re all vaguely chic thirst traps (it was san. of course it was san.)

when it comes to messages, he either communicates exclusively with emojis or gifs, or he only responds to compliments. small talk? NOPE. tell him he’s pretty or get out :’)

if you do wind up linking (because the whole conversation thing is a lost cause), he’s insane. you’ll spend one night with him, never see him again, and you will remember him on your deathbed.

was he a ghost or a fever dream? you’ll never know.

jongho

he’s only here because his friends made him, and he will make that crystal clear. nothing else will be, though. he’s either got an extremely dry sense of humor + is deeply ironic, or he’s genuinely that odd.

all of his photos are identical selfies (expression, location, angle, etc.) and the only difference is the shirt he’s wearing. is…. is that on purpose? is he being funny, or is he seriously that much of a cartoon character? WHO KNOWS.

tbh, he’s the dude that makes a profile, finds an IRL partner immediately, and totally forgets he has a profile because he deleted the app ages ago. this is tragic; he would’ve been just your type.

message him all you want, bestie. it won’t work.

[batmannotes]

The Fastest Man Alive finally gets his own live-action solo flick with several other superheroes from the DC Universe lending a helping hand. Ezra Miller portrays The Scarlet Speedster who uses his superpowers to travel back in time to change the events of the past, however worlds collide when his attempt to save his family inadvertently alters the future.  

Oddly enough, with a number of superheroes making appearances, there is only one major super villain in this 2 hour and 24-minute affair, General Zod … a Superman villain. The Flash becomes trapped in a reality in which Zod has returned, threatening destruction, and there is no one to turn to. The Flash is left to coax a vastly different Batman (Michael Keaton) out of retirement to help rescue an imprisoned Kryptonian … albeit not the one he’s looking for, and to save the world that he is in and return to the future that he knows. 

The film starts out with an amazing sequence where the Ben Affleck Batman is in hot pursuit of criminals on his new and improved Batcyle and The Flash is left to rescue babies at a hospital. Watching this sequence of Affleck makes me realize how cool a solo movie with him might have been. Besides a large dose of action, the movie also relies on humor to carry the viewer through a nearly 2 and ½ hour film. Some of the jokes land, but unfortunately most of them don’t. Auspiciously though, the action is enjoyable enough to carry the bulk of this outing. 

After Barry changes the past and returns, he comes face to face with himself, or an 18-year-old version of himself. This eighteen-year-old version of Barry Allen is super too … super annoying. Present day Barry needs his other self to help him resolve the problems that he has created. Ahhh … time travel movies.  

Keaton’s portrayal is both nostalgic and fun. He delivers a couple of legendary lines from his original 1989 Bat-flick while his classic musical motif by Danny Elfman plays in the background during the major events. For a lot of Bat-fans this was a dream come true, although I was left amazed at how spry Batman was at 70-year-old.  

Sasha Calle’s Supergirl was lifeless and with no emotion, very reminiscent of Brie Larson’s unlikeable Captain Marvel. Another female character waisted was Kiersey Clemons’s Iris West; don’t expect any notable love story here. The main emotional draw of this film is the love between a boy and his mother. Barry goes to great lengths for the love of his mom, not realizing one minor adjustment to history has major ramifications throughout time. 

The Flash suffers from two major problems; horrendous special effects and the lack of any real villain. It’s hard to believe that with all the money spent on this flick, the computer animation is flat out cringeworthy in most places. The other thing that really bothers me is how DC has such awesome super villains that Warner Bros. has yet to tap into. The Flash is yet another example of that.  

With all that said, overall, I thought The Flash was still fun and much better than the last couple of DC movie releases (Black Adam, Shazam! Fury of the Gods). Even with the bad special effects, the CGI cameos were nice to see and added to the film’s enjoyment, however, like Barry Allen, this film is its own worst enemy. Instead of squaring up against a legendary villain from Flash’s large gallery of amazing rogues, the Scarlet Speedster is left to battle a timeline that he put into place with another, much more annoying, version of himself by his side.

MOVIE GRADE: C-

4K Reviews:

VIDEO QUALITY 📽️ : A

In my opinion, you won't get a better picture quality than here. The Native 4K (2160p) transfer looks fantastic even with the horrible CGI in place. Colors burst on your screen at home that are equal to, if not better than, that on the silver screen. 

AUDIO QUALITY 🔈 : A-

Although the dialogue is extremely low and hard to understand at times, the action sequences are bombastic and sound wonderful in this Dolby Atmos & True HD 7.1 sound conversion.

EXTRAS 📀 : A-

The extras (listed below) are great! Included with the digital copy of the film are a wealth of enjoyable featurettes. The only minor thing is Warner Bros. is no longer including a regular Blu-Ray copy of the film. 

“The Flash: Escape the Midnight Circus” podcast – Six-part original scripted audio series 

featuring Max Greenfield as The Flash 

The Flash: Escape the Midnight Circus Behind the Scenes 

Deleted Scenes 

Saving Supergirl - featurette 

The Bat Chase - featurette 

Battling Zod - featurette 

Fighting Dark Flash - featurette 

The Flash: The Saga of the Scarlett Speedster - featurette 

Making the Flash: Worlds Collide - featurette 

Let’s Get Nuts: Batman Returns, Again - featurette 

Supergirl: Last Daughter of Krypton - featurette 

Flashpoint: Introducing the Multiverse - featurette 

Available at Amazon.

[devilsskettle]

care to share the zombie films you really love?

sure! they're pretty basic lol so i don’t have any new recommendations for you but i do have thoughts:

night of the living dead !! thee movie of all time

dawn of the dead - to a lesser extent (the zombie sfx in this one aren't great and it does kind of drag) but there's just something about it! the characters, the atmosphere, the themes.... also it was filmed in my hometown so i'm kind of biased. i'm also kind of a romero purist (for example, i don't like fast zombies conceptually)

shaun of the dead - i love this movie so much, the script is airtight, it has the perfect balance of horror/humor/pathos. i like all the cornetto trilogy movies but this one is probably my favorite (although i think hot fuzz is overall a better movie tbh)

evil dead (2013) - yeah the reboot. love it. this was the film i was really thinking of when i said i get into zombie movies in the winter because every year right around this time, i start feeling like rewatching this like once a week lol. i just think it's a great film, totally underrated. i just don't think i've seen any other movie that feels like this one feels, whether that's because of the atmosphere or the gore is hard to say. easily one of my favorite movies ever. and jane levy is so iconic in this <3

evil dead 2 - best of the original series. just fun! ash williams <3 i've also been rewatching ash vs evil dead with a friend of mine and, well, it's something else

the beach house - it drags at the beginning with pseudo-intellectual pretension BUT it's worth it because it gets super suspenseful and has some really effective body horror, but also it goes this really interesting route of appreciating the brutal but beautiful apathy and power of nature? not a traditional zombie movie which has its pros and cons. i usually end up watching this one in the summer with all the ocean horror movies (and beach movies in general lol)

paranorman - this was one of my favorite movie growing up! it just hits. another movie that i think has a great balance of horror/humor, as well as being a great kids' movie but also i still find it funny and charming as an adult

anna and the apocalypse - i just watched this again and tbh i liked it better this time around; like i said, i do think the middle is messy writing (cringeworthy dialogue, poor pacing, lack of balance of horror/humor and action/character development, and i just really hate the principal as a character tbh what is the point of him) BUT the songs are great, for the most part i like the characters, generally just good fun

c.h.u.d. - yeah, c.h.u.d. idk i just think it's better than people give it credit for (or at least more enjoyable). i'm actually kind of writing a little thing about how dawn of the dead and c.h.u.d. handle the topic of pregnancy, framing pro-choice conversations about having kids in an unstable and dangerous environment (the zombies/humanoid creatures being emblematic of various kinds of social dangers), and what it means to choose to have kids in a place where the future is so fraught. idk i was just struck by how similar these two particular young women are in these two films and what their roles are respectively but i have to think about it more and probably rewatch them

 little monsters - so cute! and lupita nyong’o with a ukulele 

 speaking of, re-animator - not my all time favorite maybe, i find it kind of boring, but how can you hate a silly little mad scientist and his boyfriend running around wreaking havoc on everybody 

santa clarita diet - just cute and fun

i generally like contagion horror, which i consider zombie movies a subcategory of, so movies like the thing, the faculty, etc. general pod people shenanigans i tend to like. i also like reanimated/undead people generally

i’m also playing carrion right now which is very fun and very the thing like. i love a creature

anyway let me also use this as an opportunity to complain about zombie movies i don't love:

zombieland - i think the second one is fun but i simply cannot stand jesse eisenberg in this fucking movie and it's just kind of boring and male fantasy ish

return of the living dead is actually really funny and i like a lot of the scenes but it's just too long. the premise itself is amazing though and i do love the ending

army of the dead - fast sentient zombies. giant cgi action movie shit. love the premise, love a lot of the characters, didn't actually hate watching it, but i probably will never watch it again. tig notaro in this movie though <3

warm bodies - it's fine. i haven't seen it in a while but it was kind of boring to me. also aren't there fast zombies in this? have i mentioned that i don't like fast zombies

 pet semetary - i read the book too. sucks ass. great song though 

 pride and prejudice and zombies - very funny concept but i don’t think i will ever watch the full thing start to finish. i have seen enough 

life after beth - it’s less that i dislike this one and more that i don’t remember anything about it lol. i will rewatch it soon but if it was that unmemorable i can’t recommend it

cooties — like the faculty but worse. but elijah wood and leigh whannell are in it so

zombie watchlist:

train to busan

wild zero (thanks for the rec!)

 in the flesh (tv series) 

 the walking dead - it’s just so long though and even though i’ve heard from so many people that it’s good, it just looks boring to me idk 

 overlord 

i would love some recommendations from anyone who has any

i haven’t read any books that are about zombies/zombie adjacent creatures except for the troop by nick cutter and that was pretty good actually. a little overwritten and there are no female characters but worthwhile. fun! good amount of body horror and gore 

anyway! that’s all

[dorothydalmati1]

Obscure Animation Subject #154: Space Chickens in Space

Here we have another obscure Disney series not produced by DTA, but rather Mexican studio Ánima Estudios! Airing from September 30, 2018 to June 9, 2019 on 9Go! in Australia and Disney XD in other territories, the show follows a group of chickens who were accidentally enrolled in an elite intergalactic former military academy. This is an interesting premise, and it has potential to be a great cartoon. The animation is wonderful, it’s colorful, full of expression and has great abstract designs for the characters and backgrounds. Most of the characters are also likable like Finley and Starley. However, there is one aspect that makes me not like this show, this aspect is so noticeable that it doesn’t make me like the series, that being the notorious main protagonist, Chuck! If your show has a great premise but the protagonist ends up being an awful person, then that destroys any potential the series had. Thanks to all his pitiful qualities including being a selfish coward, a liar, a lustful creep, a megalomaniac private, an indolent slacker and a mean-spirited teammate, Chuck is arguably a chicken version of Johnny Test but way worse. However, some of the scenes of him getting hurt or made fun of are still not satisfying but actually cringeworthy. It often seems less like karma and more like the world is out to torture him, especially since he is punished for being mildly rude or annoying but not when he's at his absolute worst. Other aspects that I don’t like about it that some of the stories are fairly standard, the animation can be creepy at times due to how experimental it is even if beautiful for the most part, and the humor is rather inconsistent. It provides good laughs but sometimes the jokes may bite harder than they could chew.

So yeah, I’m mixed on this one. Quite a shame because it has a lot of great materials to be an awesome show, but the mediocre writing, awful protagonist and divisive humor makes this not for me. I do recommend if you want a crazy cartoon that’s different from the rest though. It’s very unique and has animation that’s very experimental, sometimes creepy in some areas but for the most part is beautiful to look at.

[pearl-pilots-in-chains]

How I ask if someone’s seen Vinland Saga: have you ever seen the show about Thorfinn the Mighty Morphin’ Orphan?

No one said that my humor isn’t offensive to good taste . . .

[superectojazzmage]

So. Got back from Thor: Love and Thunder a while ago. Have… opinions.

THE GOOD

Christian Bale is fantastic as Gorr. Completely steals the show. Dominates every scene he’s in, delivers a powerful performance that is, frankly, too good for the movie. It’s like he’s in a completely different film then everyone else. That is also a negative more on that later.

Most of the acting is good in general. Chris Hemsworth continues to do Thor well, Natalie Portman is wonderful, Tessa Thompson sells her feelings, Russel Crowe manages to get some of the few genuine laughs, everyone is doing their best with what they were given.

Action scenes are very good. There aren’t enough of them, honestly, but what action scenes there are are pretty awesome.

The core story arc the film is built around is a great premise. This whole idea of Thor going on a spiritual journey of self-discovery while stopping Gorr’s deicide is a strong idea for a movie. Execution… is lacking, again more on that later.

Visuals are great. Yeah, it’s Marvel Studio’s usual overuse of CGI, but they DO manage to get the visual style and aesthetic of the proper Marvel Comics universe down really well. Eternity especially looked absolutely amazing just as he should.

Jane Foster with Thor’s powers was handled infinitely better then in the comics, not that it’s Jason Aaron’s crap run is a high bar to clear. She has an actual character arc, is genuinely likable, and they even had the balls to let her die and stay dead in Valhalla. Kudos.

The resolution of the story with Gorr’s daughter and all that was good. Powerful stuff, or it would’ve been in a better movie. Again, the idea was solid. Thor as a dad is good growth.

Soundtrack is nice. Hair metal and Marvel Thor go together like bread and butter.

THE BAD

Pacing is breakneck and godawful. Nothing has any room to breath. Everything is rushed. Everything meaningful or good or fun is crammed into little spaces to make room for the jokes. Speaking of…

The humor just does not work. There is far too much of it, disrupting and undermining the larger narrative, and most of it just does not land at all. It’s “self-aware” quippy humor at its most obnoxious and terribly executed. Some good gags here and there but drowned out by crap. Even good gags are dragged out and beaten to death; the fucking goats were funny the first two or three times and never again after that.

Tone is all over the fucking place. Christian Bale feels so much like he’s in a different movie it’s laughable and destroys any drama. It’s like a character from Schindler’s List stumbled into Animal House. Every somber moment is interrupted with cringeworthy gags. The “80s adventure movie” vibe is inspired and perfect for Thor, but not this specific story arc; perhaps if they had done something like Beta Ray Bill it would’ve worked better.

While the visuals are good in how they LOOK aesthetically, it’s also still Marvel Studios CGI-everywhere barf. Very little has weight. You can tell everyone is just standing around in green screens, no idea they’re even supposed to be reacting to.

Despite the good premise, the story is a mess. Clumsily executed on so many levels. The deck is constantly being stacked in Gorr’s favor with no attempt at nuance or counter-argument… but the film chickens out at last minute and refuses to commit, which is somehow almost more insulting and offensive then if it HAD gone all in with its “religion bad” undertones. Either throw the punch or don’t raise your hand at all.

Missed opportunities to do more abound. Like many of Marvel Studios’ work, there is no real effort to faithfully adapt stuff from the comics. Most characters are wasted as plot devices, especially Eternity. Arbitrary changes hurt the story. And again, the lack of depth and nuance is palatable; I thought they would go for “Jane gets sick but finds strength in faith and hope, while Gorr’s loss of faith and hope poisons him physically and spiritually” which would’ve been beautiful. But nope, “Gorr is right”.

Dialogue was terrible. In addition to all the awkward attempts at self-aware jokes, even serious dialogue struggled to sound right.

It feels like they couldn’t decide an audience. The premise, themes, violence, and risqué parts make you think they’re going for adults but on the whole it is very much a kids movie, in a bad way. Constant STUFF happening like jingling keys to entertain a kid which is probably what they were going for. Scared to ever get dark while having a paradoxically grim plot.

The representation and LGBT+ stuff is embarrassingly shallow and desperate “look at us aren’t we so progressive!” stuff. It’s all either done as a joke or in a quick, easily-edited out manner.

All in all… very disappointing, especially from Taika Waititi. Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, and Moon Knight made me think the MCU still had value. Love and Thunder and Ms. Marvel have disabused me of that notion, and even made me look back on those three with a more critical eye.

Saw someone muse that this may mark Waititi’s transition from “beloved indie darling” to “just another Hollywood insider” and yeah. I think so.

[channeleven]

Why I don’t Like Teen Titans

I used to be a big fan of Teen Titans back in the day. With the advent of Teen Titans Go however, and people who haven’t let go of that show, I became more cynical toward the original show. Surely if so much effort is put toward heralding the original show it’s worth something, right? Well I thought about it, and I have complaints.

Not a Big Fan of the Animation

This should be obvious based on the various shots I made toward the show. I have nothing against the anime style, it works well in most shows, but it's not that it's bad, but that the show is inconsistent with it.

For perspective, specific characters are in the anime style, other characters are fashioned like those from other DC cartoons from the time, notably Justice League.

As you'd expect (or basically know, this isn't some obscure show.), the style clashes heavily with the tone of the show, once they get around to settling with one. One of the biggest hangups people have with Teen Titans Go is the comedic nature of it, but in this, the show's humor is just as cringeworthy, with the addition of anime tropisms that annunciate how childish it all feels.

However well it's animated is meaningless, because it was actually (or expectedly) costly to manage, which led to something one could never forget.

They could've easily kept with the style in other Timmverse shows, this was around the time Justice League Unlimited came out, but I guess one person couldn't hold back his Japanophilia.

Make Up Your Mind on the Tone

I called Teen Titans schizophrenic for a reason. Other shows that mix comedy and action at the very least keep a consistent tone, like Static Shock for instance. Here, there're stark jumps between comedy and darker action. They could've easily made an X-Men-esque show, but instead, we got a show that hasn't a clue what it wants to be.

We go from a Bat-Mite antagonist and Monty Python-type shenanigans, to allegories on drug abuse, racism and a satan stand-in. The shifts between each are enough to give you whiplash. It takes effort to incorporate both separately, it takes even more effort to strike a proper balance. Invader Zim pulled it off because it was a black comedy, with the comedy being exhibited through dark jokes, so when it came to darker aspects it wouldn't be out of place.

Not to mention, the anime schtick doesn't help matters, cartoony reactions in more serious scenes. And people treat this like the be all, end all of cartoons. At the very least Teen Titans Go stuck with one tone, this show feels just as lazy, as there was little rhyme or reason.

Dark My Ass

Along with the anime tropisms and cartoony expressions removing any seriousness from the situation, it also really wussed out when it came to major issues. Drug abuse? Relegated to a speed function. Satan, just my original character, Blatan. You already have a giant red demon, just call him Satan and have it where Raven was a demon sent to destroy the world before gaining a conscience and becoming a hero.

Not to mention dumbing down a discussion on racism. Once more Static Shock did it better by having it be point blank. Any show that relies on allegories is wussing out, and both were on the same network, so there was no excuse. Not to mention, I've seen no notable deaths on this, for a show heralded to such a degree you'd think they'd make no stops, but no, everything returns to the status quo.

Yeah, another thing, major catastrophes conclude quite swimmingly. That deal with Trigon? The entire city is restored and everyone reassumes their normal deeds. Any serialized elements can be chalked up to tracking down one particular bad guy.

If you really wanna go for dark and comedic, have it be indicative to the villains present (and that means no anime tropisms and whatever else the show has.)

Writing's not so good

I'm being harsh on this show because people love it so much and because it became the basis for an ongoing hate-boner for one certain show. Because it persists (albeit not as prominently as it was back then), it's a huge dealbreaker between me and this show.

But at large, many of the episodes have a lot of missed opportunities. People forget this is a dumbed down rendition of the comics.

There were so many directions many of the episodes could've gone, but we weren't so lucky. That episode where Beast Boy mutated, perhaps they could've had it where Beast Boy is framed for destroying the city by Adonis and the Titans get scrutinized. But no, it's entirely relegated to the Titans. This could've worked as a season one cliffhanger, where Beast Boy becomes a villain for a while, and is only able to realign with the Titans once he is able to merge both of his forms together.

That one where Robin saw Slade and no one else could? This could've been the perfect time (that along with Red X) to also have Robin potentially turn evil due to his obsession with Slade. The worst thing they did was give a reason for Robin's hallucinating. It's not a clever or subversive twist, it shoots a potentially clever idea in the foot. What could've been an interesting psychological thriller turned into another edgy evil villain plot that makes no logical sense.

The thing with Dr. Light was kinda useless, just leading to another one-way plot. This could've been a chance to create a villain to match Raven as he wants to bring the light to brighten the darkness (to her.), only pay-off to this is a callback later on. But on that episode, it would be interesting to have Raven turn into a demon which is why she is so limited with her emotions (the conflict being her anger would set something off), but neh.

When Cyborg gets transported back in time, it would've been interesting if the woman he saved turned out to be a twist villain and by saving her, cultivated a future threat.

On the episode they use to discuss racism... it feels limited. The context of Troq (however you spell it), feels like statement used to refer to Starfire's species as lower-class (which is more than nothing, and nothing is the meaning behind it.) I'd love to know the history between Star's home planet and wherever the guy who said the word is from, perhaps we can get even more background on Star's history to potentially make a new character arc, but no, we get the vanilla n-wpord treatement.

(I'm harping on that because some people treat this episode as a good discussion on racism. If you really want a good discussion on racism, check out the Static Shock episode Sons of the Fathers. Or hell, CatDog is a very good discussion on racism, discrimination and political and police corruption)

A little bonus, I think a line tweak would've helped make the episode with Atlus much better. If he begged for help at the end rather than a maintenance call from his lackey it would basically show that no matter the size, he is weaker for using his power for his own gain. Its such a simple thing to do...

And another thing I'll get to when we get to-

The not so great characters

Frankly the only interesting thing about Robin is his obsession with Slade. As mentioned before, Slade could've been an interesting way to drive Robin to villainy due to his constant obsession. It would get to the point he would throw his friends on the line when he feels he'd get close to a lead, whatever they did here feels like a typical action deal, i.e., not interesting.

It feels like Raven and Beast Boy fell into the teen cliche net, Raven strikes me as a generic mall goth who's traits are little more than predictable, and has the same kind of attitude many cartoon goths have that people latch on to. Plus she's voiced by Tara Strong. Beast Boy is reduced to a sometimes vegetarian, and the comic relief. Nothing too special and any good development feels hollow.

Starfire strikes me as the least good, mainly because she's so ill-developed. You'd think more time on earth would allow her to develop more, but no, she's the same as when she started. Gotta keep up that funny alien-custom schtick I guess.

And I suppose I don't find much wrong with Cyborg, because honestly he's the funniest one on the show.

Slade strikes me as both wasted and generic. First thing's first, he had no identity to keep, but they made it so here to act like the show has a deeper layer of complexity than it actually does, but it can't even pull that off.

Kinda wish we got more on how Plasmus came to be, no episode clued us in to how he became as was, hell, even with his upgrade he's still the same guy. Even Cinder (or whatever the blocky guy is) is confusing.

But now another thing... Terra.

First things first is why she didn't stick around for so long. Wouldn't you know it, the animation style led to higher costs on outsourcing, so they couldn't afford to add another full time regular actor. This had led to one of the worst character deconstructions I have ever seen. It's one very short, very clunky arc.

Firstly when she comes in, it's fine for the first few minutes, but when it comes to the climax, "Ruh roh! My powers suck, guess I gotta scram!", that's truly how it felt. Leading up to it, we're led to believe she has a history with Slade in the first episode, now look I'm all for a double agent set-up, but when you intentionally send clues to throw us off, that's not clever, that's just plain lazy.

I will say that one episode where Robin and Cyborg get transported to take on someone after playing a card game where Terra just suddenly appears could've worked to establish she was providing intel to Slade to set up a twist.

This kind of thing would've been better if it had more episodes to tell the arc, perhaps an entire season. We would be thrown off-guard by her 180 much more effectively when it comes. Because when she is revealed to be the villain, I'm like "Oh wow, I'm not interested."

Another thing I could say is that I like how she was reduced to rock. Perhaps her fear of using her power would stem from the fact that it could be her downfall? Slade could've manipulated her into becoming an ultimate weapon or just claim he had a way for her to relieve herself of her powers. And hello, another Static Shock reference. At this point I question if the writers could handle complex ideas like that.

Unintentional Cockiness

If you don't agree with me on the above, here's something more objective. They had a good finale, at least one appropriate to the show. But it seems the writers assumed they would get to do more, so they threw in this episode, featuring wasted potential incarnate coming back.

If you go into television, heed this advice. Treat every season finale like it's your series finale.

This feels like a dare the writers did when they knew they were about to get cancelled, sorta like what Duckman did for its series finale. Only difference is that this isn't as good of a cliffhanger, and, harkening back to me complaining about the writing, it negates what could've been an interesting aspect to Beast Boy.

From Terra's death on, Beast Boy would become more mature and fight for the world, not for himself but because he has something to fight for. If that was the case, they did a horrible job of showing it.

Conclusion

Teen Titans is rife with missed opportunities and a frankly vanilla feel to it. Compared to other DC shows, this honestly pales in comparison, it feels like the anime schtick was only done to ensure they'd get more people to watch, because otherwise we could leave well enough alone without it.

Honestly, Static Shock was a better DC cartoon from its era, tackling genuine issues head on, properly meshing comedy with action, being consistent art wise, damn, it's just a better show overall. Maybe we should be grateful Virgil never met the Teen Titans.

[darkqueenofshadows85]

My Top 5 Unpopular Sonic Opinions

Greetings, mortals! Today, I'll be doing a list of my top five unpopular Sonic opinions.

Please keep in mind, this is MY OPINION! You don't need to agree with it, but please don't complain in the comments section if you disagree with this list.

Anyway, let us begin! ^^

5. Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) and Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) Are My Two Favorite Sonic Games

Yes, you read that correctly. I unironically love ShTH and Sonic 06. They are two of the most overhated and underrated games in my opinion. I played both of these games a lot as a kid, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Their storylines are two of my favorites in the entire series, alongside SA2, Unleashed and Black Knight.

Also, both their soundtracks kick ass 😎

4. Black Doom is THE Best Sonic Villain

As I'm sure many of you know, I LOVE Black Doom. He's a great villain with a motive that actually makes sense. In my eyes, he is THE best villain in the entire Sonic franchise, far surpassing the likes of Dr. Eggman and Mephiles (although Mephiles is a great villain too, don't get me wrong)

I made a post explaining why Black Doom is an amazing character:

3. I Prefer Modern Sonic (specifically the 1998-2009 iteration) Over Classic Sonic

Oh boy... The fanbase is going to break me for this one...

I find the Classic Era to be low-key overrated to be honest. Sure, the classic games themselves have charm, but at the time, the lore/continuity hadn't been properly established yet, and it seemed like nobody was on the same page.

Take the old DiC cartoons for example. There wasn't much to work with in terms of continuity at the time, so the writers basically had to make up their own interpretation of the series. And then there's the small minority of Classic Era elitists who overpraise the Genesis games to jawdropping extremes and think that every Sonic game after S3&K is trash (with the exception of Mania).

And don't even get me started on how much SEGA has been milking Classic Sonic in recent years...

Don't get me wrong, I don't think the classic games are bad by any means, they are enjoyable in their own right, but I always found the 3D Sonic games (specifically the Adventure/Dark Era titles) to be more enjoyable in terms of both narrative and gameplay.

2. The Meta Era Is The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Sonic

I've already made an entire post a while back ago explaining in detail why I hate the Meta Era, so I'll keep it brief.

To me, the Meta Era feels like Sonic in name only. Sonic was originally created as the antithesis of Mario, but after SEGA hit the reboot button in 2010, he essentially became a Mario clone, which goes against EVERYTHING the Sonic franchise stands for. The Sonic games from 1991-2009 all had complex themes/messages, while the Meta Era games only cared about jokes, and really shitty jokes at that. When such stupid lines as "Baldy Nosehair" & "No copyright law in the universe is going to stop me" are considered the height of comedy, you know you're in for a shit show.

Speaking of....

1. Sonic Boom Is The Worst Sonic TV Series Ever Made

I've heard a surprising amount of people say that Sonic Boom is a one of the best animated Sonic shows, and I honestly don't know why.

What do people see in this lame ass show that turned almost all of the characters (ESPECIALLY Knuckles and Shadow) into complete jokes?! I know a lot of people praise the show for its "smart, witty, self aware" humor, but to me, most, if not all, of its attempts at humor usually fall flat on their face.

Maybe it's just because I'm not in the target demographic for this show, but I find the meta humor and the series as a whole to be cringeworthy and annoying more than anything. In my eyes, Sonic is meant to be a serialized, story driven franchise, not an episodic sitcom. The entire Sonic Boom branding is a negative stain on the Sonic franchise that I do not want Sonic to be remembered for. If you happen to like this show, that's fine, more power to you. It's just not my cup of tea, personally.

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed this list and I'll see you next time!! ^^

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Dr. Seuss is no stranger to cinematic adaptations, and even less of a stranger to animation. And whenever Seuss gets animated, you can typically expect good things, as opposed to when his work is live action, in which case you can expect…

Yeah…

Anyway, imagine the excitement people must have felt when the creative team behind Despicable Me and the writing team behind the underrated gem Horton Hears a Who got together to do a fresh new take on The Lorax! This was in Illumination’s heyday, before they ended up showcasing that they’re more interested in churning out cheap products for maximum profit, so there was plenty of hope that this could be good. Then came all the commercial tie-ins.

Now, this alone shouldn’t be indicative of the final product. Maybe stuff like this is just a bunch of suits horribly missing the point of the original story! Maybe the actual film will be better! Well… while the film was no flop, and while it certainly got a better reception than most of the films I’ve talked about here, the film was derided by many for being an extremely shallow and lacking adaptation that adds unneeded junk to a story that didn’t need it in such a way that ultimately dilutes the message. It turns a story that operated on shades of gray and turned it into a cartoonish spectacle that would make even Captain Planet blush. Not helping was the rabid fanbase on Tumblr who shipped the Once-ler with… himself… or Jack Frost… forever tainting the film in the eyes of those on the internet.

Things got so bad eventually even the [REDACTED] Critic reviewed the film in his usual over-the-top, accentuate the negative style, and as some people still treat his word as gospel, this has most likely colored the perception of the film. So while it’s certainly not to the same level of infamy as the usual subjects of Is It Really THAT Bad? I still wanted to put this movie on here and ask one simple question:

How ba-ah-ah-ad can it be?

THE GOOD

So let me just get it out of the way: the movie’s villain song, “How Bad Can I Be,” legitimately is awesome and is frankly one of the best villain songs ever. No, I’m not kidding. It’s just a fun, rocking number with some neat visuals, and while it’s a shame the cut rock opera-esque “Biggering” is probably the better song, this one is definitely more fun and meme-worthy. Shake that bottom line!

Now, the casting is, for the most part, pretty fantastic. Minor characters like the grandma played by Betty White are a lot of fun, but really, the main piece of awesome casting is Danny DeVito as the titular Seuss creation. DeVito as the Lorax is just so incredible, perfect, and inspired that it boggles the mind how anyone could possibly come up with such amazing casting.

As far as antagonizing forces in the film go, the Once-ler’s awful, vile family are enjoyable in a “love to hate” sort of way. While it’s certainly kind of iffy that they felt the need to give the Once-ler more of an excuse for his actions beyond just simple greed, it isn’t so bad that what they came up with was familial pressure. In fact, they’re actually much better at antagonists than O’Hare, the actual villain of the film, and the fact the movie give him so much focus despite having such fascinating characters that would have had a really great thematic purpose; hell, they should have been the rulers of Thneedville instead og O’Hare! There’s so much untapped potential with these, quite frankly, very interesting characters.

I guess I should say the Once-ler is a pretty decent character in and of himself, but he very much suffers from the same problem the Jim Carrey Grinch does – he’s a good, enjoyable character in his own right, but he’s not a very good Once-ler. In fact, he at points borders on “in name only” territory. Still, he does have a pretty solid arc, and that villain song slaps, so… I think he’s solid, and Ed Helms does a good job voicing him.

THE BAD

Jon Lajoie, while in character as his misogynistic moron rapper MC Vagina, said this:

When I first heard this lyric, I didn’t understand it… but his words were a prophecy, because that is, in all honesty, the plot of this film. Our flavorless protagonist Ted really just wants to get the Truffula trees back so he can get into the pants of the local smoking hot redhead hippie, Audrey. It gets to the point where Ted’s motivations are so boring and shallow that Audrey actually would have made a far more interesting and compelling protagonist, seeing as she already has an inexplicable knowledge of the trees and cares about nature. When they already changed so much in the story I don’t see why they couldn’t just make the protagonist a girl while they were at it. As it is, she barely has any presence and feels like a waste, which becomes all the more awful when you know she’s being played by a stunt casted Taylor Swift instead of an actual voice actor or even an actor period. At least Ted is Zac Efron, an actual actor, though he doesn’t do a particularly good job himself.

Then we have our villain, O’Hare. O’Hare has all the subtlety of a Captain Planet villain but none of the cheesy goodness and fun. Sure, Rob Riggle does some good delivery and gives O’Hare some memetastic moments, and sure, his selling of canned air is oddly prescient of things that happened in real life in India (though technically President Skroob Spaceballs beat him to the punch by a few decades) but it doesn’t really redeem O’Hare from being an excessively weak villain who is shoehorned into the plot solely to turn the story into a black and white morality tale. It… doesn’t work at all. What also doesn’t help is that O’Hare has an absolutely repugnant character design, looking like if Edna Mode got mangled by a sixteen wheeler and left in a ditch on the side of the road.

Finally, this movie just doesn’t really respect the story to any great degree. As mentioned above, it waters down a story that presented arguments from both sides and, while still ultimately showing the Once-ler to be wrong and shortsighted, did have him make some valid points. Here, the story is presented as there being a clear cut good and evil in a horrendously unsubtle and unpalatable way. Yes, we get that extreme deforestation and overuse of resources is bad, you don’t need to beat us over the head with it. It doesn’t help that the film also crams in a bunch of cringeworthy pop culture humor that really doesn’t add much to the story; say what you will about the anime scene from Horton, at least there was a bit of substance and reason for it. Having characters sing the Mission: Impossible theme is just making a reference for the sake of making a reference.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

So I’m gonna say that I don’t particularly find this movie to be good, per se. It’s very dumbed down and more than a little undermined by the various brand tie ins. It is a poorly executed black and white morality tale that was crafted from a very deep and engaging piece of children’s literature, and on that level, I don’t think this movie works even a little bit. Still, there’s some enjoyment that can be mined from this, particularly from some of the more so bad it’s good moments, as well as DeVito’s performance and some actual good moments of story and character. There’s some stuff to like here if you dig a bit, but really, I don’t think you really should have to do a deep dig into The Lorax to get some enjoyment.

Overall, I wouldn’t really say this movie is totally bad, but it’s definitely not good, either; it veers more into the territory of “so bad it’s good,” which is a shame but also kind of refreshing. It’s definitely an interesting film to talk about, and there are a few things about it that work, but ultimately it’s not enough to really raise the film to the level of the classic animated Seuss adaptations or even to the level of Horton. At its best, it’s okay, and at its worst, it actively undermines its own messages. I think the 6.4 it has is pretty fair… maybe a bit too fair, if I’m being honest. I’d give it something like a 5.7 or 5.8.

Again, it’s not the worst thing ever like some might tell you; hell, the adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas Illumination would go on to make is probably a worse movie. But it still doesn’t really do anything that adds to the story its telling, and it ultimately comes off as saccharine, forgettable childish fluff. It’s really a harmless movie, but it’s still probably gonna grate on anyone who holds the original story in high esteem. The {REDACTED] Critic was a bit hyperbolic in his review, but I do think he was right in principle. This movie feels like a calculated, corporate adaptation meant to be as inoffensive and marketable as possible much like every Illumination film post-Despicable Me. And if there’s one thing The Lorax shouldn’t be, it’s “inoffensive and marketable.”

[gffa]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

Tagged by @thewillowbends.  These lists are always hard, but that’s kind of the fun of them!  And that’s why we cheat and sometimes have lots of ties because no you can’t make me choose. 1.  Thor from Marvel’s Cinematic Universe - I am a sucker for a character who has their shit together but can still be human and face ridiculously traumatic experiences and come through them whole because they had a rock solid foundation to begin with.  From being thrown out of Asgard, made mortal, and taking that chance to suck it up and make himself better that he did that himself to the loss of pretty much his entire family and most of his people and his sense of purpose, the thing I love about Thor is that he keeps getting back up.  That kind of fortitude is even more appealing that the ridiculously hot lightning powers. 2.  Tsukino Usagi from Sailor Moon - I always loved her in the ‘90s anime, but reading the manga skyrocketted her into this special untouchable place in my heart.  The beginning of her journey is a girl who is so fragile that she would kill herself if she didn’t have the emotional support around her, who had to take step after step forward to find her inner strength, who wasn’t weak or terrible for her fragility, but instead her story was worth telling for it, that the point she started out as was just as valuable as the place she ended up, where she could be the one to stand up to save her friends and get them back herself, that journey was worth telling.  I LOVE HER TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. 3.  Thranduil and Maedhros from Tolkien’s Legendarium - It was really hard to choose, because I love a lot of the characters (and I feel badly leaving Thingol and Maglor off the list and I will fight a bitch for Galadriel and Elrond and listen Glorfindel is pure joy and also the internet is too mean to Elwing and I kind of want alllll the Melkor and Manwe fic because sobs they’re brothers shut up you can’t make me not have feelings about that, but also trashbag Melkor/Sauron and--) but those are the two I usually wind up wanting to know their pov in a fic I’m reading or have them around when shit’s going down because I want to see what they’ll do or I just miss them the most when they’re not there. 4.  Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars - If you asked me to pick between them, I don’t know that I could.  Yeah, sure, I love Obi-Wan ridiculously, but if you give me five minutes, I’m pretty much always going to drift back to talking about Anakin and his issues instead.  I’m not sure I can even boil them down into a nutshell about why I like them so much, they’re the kind of characters that I love so intensely and with such big, sweeping thoughts, that I’d have to write a whole essay.  But my best attempt:  Anakin’s being both dumbass and genius at the same time, being charming and magnetic while also being a bag of garbage at the same time, who had such good in him but was also an absolute monster, who I desperately want to be happy, but I also struggle to forgive him sometimes and that’s saying a lot for a fictional character, he’s brilliant enough to truly carry an entire Saga about him.  And Obi-Wan is the bedrock of all goodness in that galaxy, he could be obnoxious at times and he didn’t always see Anakin clearly, but he always cared and he remained good and hopeful, he continued to serve the galaxy, no matter what it threw at him, and even forgave Anakin in the end, because he always rose above.  That’s it, that’s my shit right there. 5.  Inoue Orihime from Bleach - ORIHIME WAS MY GIRL FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, her unwavering kindness and care, her desire to be soft in a world (and, frankly, fandom) that wanted her to be hard and to fight everything, when she didn’t want to fight, she wanted to heal, she wanted to have fun and be weird, she wanted everyone to be happy, all of that made me love her.  Her loopiness is an absolute delight, but what I loved so much about her is that Orihime had the powers/abilities to be quite possibly the most OG of the entire cast, she could reject reality itself, and she never once wanted to use it to beat anyone up or to destroy anything, she wanted to make friends with her fairies and she wanted to help people.  That girl refused to let the world make her anything less than kind and caring and sweet.  She was THE BEST. 6.  Hara Akiha and Umeda Hokuto from Hanazakari no Kimitachi e/Hana-Kimi - Sometimes we all fall in love with those minor characters and they just fucking consume us.  A lot of it came from that they were both hot, they were both hilarious, and so they were just really fun, but what really got me was that I genuinely loved everything Nakajo did with Umeda’s character.  There weren’t a lot of gay characters in shoujo manga that weren’t complete comedic relief, where their sexuality was the joke.  Yes, Umeda was often a humorous character (all of the cast was) but he firmly was completely uninterested in high school kids, he liked adult men, and his advice to Mizuki may have been crabby as hell, but it was genuine and good.  His sexuality wasn’t the punchline of his character.  Then there was Akiha, who was also comedic, but his bisexuality (another rare thing to find in manga!) had nothing to do with the humor of his character, all of it was in the way he chased after Umeda.  He was a genuine suitor (and, reading the post-manga character interviews, apparently they got together, OMG MY HEART) and the kiss they shared was treated just as seriously as any straight kiss would have been.  That meant a lot to me, even though I’d have loved the characters just because they were so interesting and Umeda’s struggle to get over the guy who never cared for him and to let himself be vulnerable with someone that he could actually care about, was so great. 7.  Yuki Eiri from Gravitation - I can’t begrudge anyone for giving this show a lot of shit (and I definitely am going with anime!Yuki here, rather than manga!Yuki) or dismissing it as being god-awful, because it probably was pretty cringeworthy.  But Yuki got under my skin because he was one of the first characters I resonated with where his depression was real and it was ugly.  He could be cruel to people around him, he pushed them away, not just half-heartedly, but genuinely, and he couldn’t stand being vulnerable, because it touched on all the terrible places that had been damaged by what Kitazawa had done to him.  And he couldn’t just be magically fixed by Tohma’s devotion or Shuuichi’s unwavering amounts of love poured into him.  He couldn’t just be fixed with a hug or one good crying session.  He was damaged and it was going to be a hell of a long hike back up to anything even a little bit normal.  Especially back at that time, I felt like depression and trauma were never given any real weight, then along comes this ridiculous BL series that just refused to make Yuki anything less that genuinely damaged and it hit all these places in wee me that was struggling through my own depression that couldn’t just be cured with some hugs and people telling me they loved me.

8.  Hashiba Touma from Yoroiden Samurai Troopers - I’m not sure I could even say why this character got under my skin the way he did, other than that there was definitely a group of us who were SUPER into the show and it was fun to make a playground for ourselves, and Touma just really got to me.  The brilliant character who didn’t always know how to relate to others, but who cared very deeply about them, who gravitated to those who were better at social interaction than he was, who were better able to connect to people than he was, that he found this group where he really belonged, that just really touched wee me’s heart. 9.  Tendou Souji from Kamen Rider Kabuto - THIS OBNOXIOUS HOT MESS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  It was hard not to put Kagami on the list as well, because so much of what I love about Tendou is illustrated through his relationship with Kagami (whom I also love on his own), but I think I keep coming back to that I love his issues the most.  He’s the best at everything and so it puts distance between him and everyone else, all the more so because he’s so obnoxious about it and doesn’t slow down for anyone else to catch up, but the thing is that there’s a very caring heart underneath all that.  He loves his sisters, he loves Kagami, he even kind of tolerates the rest of their weird gang, and trying to find that difficult line of his superiority over the others versus that he wants them to catch up to him in his own way, all while being the most condescending dick ever, is absolute joy. 10.  Relena Darlian from Gundam Wing - I had a difficult path to liking Relena, because so much of fandom boiled her down to either being a creepy stalker who got in the way of Heero/Duo or they only ever wrote her in romantic pairing stuff with Heero, neither of which really encouraged me to like her.  But, as time went on and I rewatched the series a couple of times, I realized there’s so much more to her.  She’s a character who has to walk an impossible line between both of the legacies that weigh on her, the birth family that she never knew but maybe she could help bring peace to the world by taking up that name, by trying to bring back the Sanq Kingdom that promoted absolute pacifism and peace.  Yet, ultimately, for all that her relationship with Zechs is really important and she was the heir to that kingdom, she chose to be Relena Darlian.  She choose to try to bring peace to the world by standing up on her own as a politician, not a figurehead queen of the world.  The struggle to figure that out, who she wants to be and how she wants to achieve it, to go from a sheltered young girl at the start of the series to someone who has seen how terrible war is, is far more interesting than either of those first options for me! And I’ll tag @forcearama (and if I couldn’t put Obi-Wan as all ten entries, neither can you!) @belldreams @subskywalker @cacchieressa @bpdanakins @glompcat @writegowrite @fireflyfish @evaceratops @amarielah and anyone else who wants to do it that I’m not sure I feel quite like I’m able to try peer pressuring you into it.  ♥  I love seeing these from anyone who wants to do them, I’m just never sure if I’m allowed to go HEY YOU DO THIS THING.  orz

[ducktracy]

107. buddy in africa (1935)

disclaimer: this review entails racist imagery, content, and concepts. i don’t endorse any of these stereotypes or depictions whatsoever, i find them gross and wrong. however, it would be just as wrong to gloss over them and act like they didn’t exist. this review is purely for educational and informational purposes. please let me know if i say something harmful, offensive, or wrong—it is NEVER my intention to do so. thank you for bearing with me and understanding.

release date: july 6th, 1935

series: looney tunes

director: ben hardaway

starring: jackie morrow (buddy)

ben hardaway’s last buddy cartoon. buddy sets up a moving variety store shop in africa, but a pesky monkey and gorilla cause problems for our little shopkeeper.

just a normal day where a man is mowing the grass in his african village, or so we think. a pan out reveals that he’s perched on top of a house, mowing the straw roof. another gag includes a human juicer, a man twisting the bone in his hair to squeeze the juice out of the fruit in the man’s mouth. some villagers engage in a game of horseshoe, a man tossing children and using their nose rings to get caught onto the stake in the ground. as always, racial stereotypes and caricature are abound and uncomfortable.

enter chipper buddy, whistling away as he totes his trailer behind his car, advertising a variety store. a somewhat similar premise would be used in porky’s five and ten, where fish wreak havoc on his own variety store. a gorilla is hitchhiking, eagerly sticking out his thumb when buddy approaches. buddy rides straight on by, bad news for the gorilla, who dismisses him frustratedly. there’s a nice (albeit standard) gag of a monkey traffic cop and a giraffe posing as a traffic sign. the monkey directs the traffic, while a kangaroo (in africa???) stuffs litter in its pouch.

a guard waits by the entrance of the village. he spots buddy approaching and snags another villager, shaking him and ringing him like a bell. everyone pokes their heads out to see what the occasion is as buddy drives through the gates.

buddy screeches to a halt and begins to set up shop, beating on a drum, his butt, some pots and pans, greeting the crowd congregating before him with “howdy, folks! here it is!” jackie morrow’s voice acting is very cute, and it’s neat that they got an actual child actor (i believe i read somewhere that he was 9 when he voiced buddy). i think jack carr’s voice suited him more, though—it was an ambiguous child AND adult voice. it could pass for either, just like buddy’s appearance. i guess it’s just a little strange seeing buddy drive a car and own a house and talk in a child’s voice. just something very petty to nitpick at, morrow does a very good job of voicing buddy. the villagers exchange fruit for the goods as the trade ensues.

there’s another rather redundant and arbitrary shot of the gorilla hitchhiker before cutting back to buddy and his booming business. one of the villagers goes into his hut with his newfound collectibles. he twists two lightbulbs in his ears, which add some much needed light into the dark hut. he placed a lampshade on his head and reads the newspaper. elsewhere, another villager stuffs fireworks in his mouth and lights them, flying off into the distance. it’s an absurd gag, but the abruptness and almost incoherence of it makes it highly amusing.

meanwhile, our little salesman triumphantly displays some bottles. “here’s a drink that’ll cure your jitters,” he announces in rhyme, “buddy’s famous jungle bitters!” one of his customers takes the bottles buddy was holding in his hands, whereas a pesky little monkey decides to help himself, too. buddy scolds the monkey, but the monkey isn’t bothered, chattering and slamming buddy’s car door shut.

four of the villagers drink the bitters—music strikes. a man plucks his hair like a bass as they sing “marchin’ towards ya, georgia!” a very catchy song indeed with lovely vocals, but appreciation severely muddled by the blatant blackface caricatures staring you in the face. a man plays an elephant like a pair of bagpipes, a man stretches out his lips (sigh) and plays them like a muted trumpet, and a woman sings some vocals. she has some sort of pipe on her neck (it’s difficult to tell since this print is so poor in quality), and a man annoyed with her singing turns a knob that shuts her up. meanwhile, buddy merrily juggles his bottles.

two of the villagers dance, bouncing around doing handstands. obviously, this whole scene, not to mention entire cartoon is cringeworthy and painful to watch (unfortunately, this is relatively tame compared to other cartoons), but the animation is solid, very bouncy and fun. a turtle plays itself like a banjo while the four singers finish up the song. very catchy indeed.

back to the monkey, who’s proving himself to be quite the nuisance. he bangs the bottle against the car in an attempt to open it—buddy yells at him to stop and to give it back, but the monkey refuses. buddy chases the monkey around the car—he dives under the car, where the monkey pops out on top and hits the bottle against buddy’s head. buddy snags the bottle (which somehow isn’t broken) out of the monkey’s hands and spanks him. back to the harman-ising days of spanking gags! how we miss you!

accomplished, buddy releases the monkey and laughs. the monkey shakes his fist and wanders off, right back to the hitchhiking gorilla. ahhh, of course. the monkey chirps and squeals about his horrific encounter with buddy, patting his own butt for good measure. the seemingly docile gorilla scowls and rolls up its fur-sleeves (such an overdone gag, but a big guilty pleasure of mine. i can’t help but love it!) menacingly. it puffs its chest out and tips its hat forward, preparing to march along. a nice detail as the monkey follows behind, also puffing out his chest.

the gorilla and monkey come to a standstill as a guard confronts them at the entrance to the village. a lovely little bit of acting as the gorilla shrugs at the monkey for advice, the monkey punching its palm. the gorilla takes its orders and pummels the guard into the ground, the gorilla stepping on his head and the monkey poking his eyes.

predictably, buddy gets his. he’s pumping up a tire when the gorilla terrorizes him, stepping onto the tire and propelling buddy upwards. the gorilla catches buddy and slams him down onto the tire, pumping the air pump and propelling him offscreen. thusly, the gorilla snags the pump and tire, preparing to beat buddy senseless by swinging the tire like the world’s most painful lasso. the scene reads as incoherent (even aside from the poor quality) as the tire hits the gorilla instead, shooting it into the distance. a tree slingshots the gorilla back to where it was (nice rubbery animation of the tree), and the gorilla barrels right into a lookout tower. the tower collapses, trapping buddy AND the gorilla who are both unscathed. finding great humor in the debacle, the little monkey laughs at the gorilla. in a moment of camaraderie, the gorilla exchanges a glance with buddy and punches the tire. the tire sends the air pump handle rocketing, which in turn hits the monkey, who flies into the distance. iris out as foes become friends, the gorilla and buddy shaking hands.

hardaway’s buddy cartoons, in my opinion, were slightly weaker than king’s. in general, they’re all pretty bland—the titles blend together and i can’t even remember if i have a discernible favorite or not. i know i had commended a buddy cartoon relatively recently and labeled it as good, but i can’t even think of it! thus proves buddy’s blandness. this is another bland one, more than usual. right off the bat the racial stereotypes and caricatures make the cartoon an uncomfortable watch. the monkey and gorilla scenes were amusing, though. the ending battle read as incoherent and incomprehensible, i kept having to rewind it just to formulate what was going on. it was certainly creative and high energy, though, and i applaud that. the song number was nice and catchy, but that’s it. i hate to say “it could have been worse” because blackface is blackface and stereotypes are stereotypes, any inclusion at all is immediately bad. but i suppose there are cartoons out there that are more mean-spirited than this one, more of a “celebration everyone sings and dances for the fun of it and everyone gets along”, but still. not pleasant and cringeworthy. even besides that, the cartoon doesn’t have much going for it at all. you won’t miss anything by skipping.

but, as always, i’ll provide a link. obviously view at your own discretion.

[otaviosequeira21234]

Otavio Sequeira’s (21234) Interdisciplinary Project Reflection

Intro

The interdisciplinary project was a seminal programme requiring students from faculties all across Lasalle to collaborate creatively to achieve a set of learning outcomes. The following accounts are narratives of my group’s working process and outcomes. 

Day 1 Our entry to the IDP began with a collective presentation in the SIA theatre where we received an introduction to the project lead by the president of Lasalle, followed by two guest speakers. The first of which gave us a presentation on quantum computing while the latter gave us a presentation on the role of art in the fight against climate change. The presentations helped establish a context of topical discussion for the IDP, being the issue of tackling man made environmental issues as artists with respect to an evolving state of technology. They also elaborated on the project’s moniker “How is your window to the future”, implying that, as budding artists, we needed to adapt our skills to discuss how current world issues may impact our physical future. Following the presentation, all students were sent to their respective classrooms where we were to receive a briefing on how we were to approach both the projects topics and group exercises. Our class’s instructor, Cornelia Dinu, spent the first part of our session covering the projects methodology, mainly focusing on steps 1 and 2 which were; “Identify the issues/topic” and “Clearly define the context”. In order to divide the class into groups, instead of randomization or any form of systematic selection, he initiated a class discussion based under a simple question, which was; “What do you think is going to happen within the next 100 years?”. Discussion points across the class varied and covered various possibilities including; the advancement of AI capabilities, authoritarianism, utopian societies and even developments related to the viewing of art. I suggested that, as opposed to cultural and technological advancements, humanity would succumb to the weight of its current practices and the human population would technologically revert and diminish significantly, going through a ‘reset’ period. After each person contributed, Dinu would ask the rest of the class if they agreed with the speaker and why, to which at least two people would respond and give elaborations and suggestions. He then asked everyone who agreed with any of the speakers to sit with them and form their newly appointed groups. I ended up being joined by students from; animation, fashion, product design and film. Upon our formation, our discussion for the remainder of the session was focused on continuing my original discussion point and toying with the possibilities of project proposals. During this session, we mainly fixated upon steps 1 and 2 of the step method. 

Optional Workshop: Devising Performance 

Honestly speaking, I did no prior research into the specifications of the workshop before selecting it. Based on its name, I discerned that it would have something to do with developing approaches to performance art mediums. Noting that I am also from a performing arts background and wanted to innovate my own approach to musical performance, I selected the workshop based on this perception. The workshop DID cover this, but used acting and dramatic performance as a medium to demonstrate this. Our instructor, Felipe Cervera, began the workshop with an acting warmup. These warmups consisted of a series of activities highlighting physical and vocal expression from participants in order to reduce inhibitions. For professional actors, these warmups would increase fluidity and realism during rehearsals. Proceeding the warmups, we were separated into randomised groups where we were given the task of improvising a performance piece based on the IDP headline. There were no restrictions regarding how this piece could be performed stylistically. My group chose to make a slightly more ambiguous dialogue piece centered around cynicism and anxiety amongst college students. The second instruction from Felipe was to construct a piece responding to a previous group’s performance. Again, there were no guidelines specifying what this response needed to entail. For our group, and most others, we would spend a few minutes before physically performing the piece discussing which part of the group’s performance we needed to respond to. Almost all groups chose to respond in the form of a parody of a particular segment or aspect of the previous piece, whether it was the piece’s theme as a whole or even just a single phrase spoken by one of the actors. Needless to say, every group’s performance was rather awkward and slightly cringeworthy, and even with groups that had full-time acting students. If i were to discuss the importance of the workshop in facilitating the IDPs learning objectives, alongside sharpening each students expression and spontaneous capabilities, I would say it would be to demonstrate to performing arts students means through which their profession and art could be used to tackle and discuss global issues and, for students in more design and illustration centred courses, to expose them to alternate mediums through which such expression could be facilitated. 

Day 2

Our group discussion was now focused on devising proposals for art pieces that could be used to express our chosen topic. Noting that grander real world solutions needed to be proposed, we decided that our art piece needed to reflect a situation in which our proposed prediction of the world’s apocalyptic future became a reality. Our proposals included; a satirical graphic novel, an audiovisual art exhibition, a holographic piece etc. After discussing each proposal with respect to the research requirements we decided that we were going to settle on a graphic novel, due to its conceptual simplicity and tangibility during a presentation. The rest of the session was focused on discussing art styles and content for the graphic novel. Eiris, the group’s animation student, had already created drafts of potential panels by the end of the session, while I had written parts of a storyboard. Examples of the draft can be seen below: 

Day 3 

On the third day, an idea was proposed by Marcus, the fashion student in our group, regarding how our product could become relevant in the event of an apocalypse. It was proposed that our product should be held within casing that could withstand the most extreme elements of an apocalyptic scenario. We spent time researching different types of materials which could hypothetically meet these requirements. Our final decision for the casing’s proposed materials included; buckypaper (known for having the strength of style but being a weak conductor of electricity) to construct the case’s outer shell and kevlar (having a higher melting and freezing point than buckypaper) to construct it’s inner shell. The nature of the graphic novel was also discussed during this period. Digital representations of the casing can be seen below: 

The graphic novel was to be a sort of ‘survival guide’, detailing different means of surviving the apocalypse. Of course, the general tone of the novel would be humorous, and the ‘survival instructions’ would mainly include puns and play-on-word jokes based on various apocalyptic scenarios. This would be to satirise the current state of environmental conservation, stating that the featured apocalyptic scenarios would be experienced by humanity if we continued to act unsustainably. To construct the book itself, our proposed materials included; tyvek for its abilities as a writing material, on top of being radiation and waterproof. Of course, for our proposal and draft products, coated paper would be used for the book and the case prototype would be constructed via a 3D printer. We spent the rest of the session working on a powerpoint presentation for friday, as-well as writing a script for each member and constructing the following“mood-board” which would represent our aesthetic inspiration: 

Day 4

For the final day of preparation, we were fully devoted to constructing the presentation. All research and material gathering had been finished at this point. Eiris had finished all panels of the graphic novel (one of which can be seen below). 

  Rahman was organising the printing of the graphic novels and gathered most of the resources and drafts we used during our planning stage. Marcus, Maximilian (Our group’s film student) and I spent the session working on the presentation slides. 

Day 5 

On our final day, our group arrived an hour and half before our class was scheduled to begin. By this stage, our powerpoint had been fully completed, we had a prototype for our casing and 5 copies of our graphic novel had been printed. We spent this period assigning sections for each group member to talk during and did 3 total run-throughs of the presentation before the class began. Our presentation went relatively well, with Dinu and the rest of the class being seemingly impressed by our prototypes and us answering any questions at the end to the best of our abilities. Future proposals and amendments we suggested to enhance our product included incorporating our previous product ideas to make the experience more immersive and using campus spaces to do so. 

Conclusion

During the project, I felt like I hadn’t contributed as much as other members. I didn’t demonstrate the leadership skills of Marcus in coordinating our group and, as a music student, I didn’t have the illustration or design skills of Rahman and Eiris which would have allowed me to construct our prototypes. Despite creating a format for our groups early vision in our first class, I ended up relegating myself to helping out with the powerpoint and writing storyboard ideas. While I initially considered this to be a shortcoming, I realised that using whatever abilities I had available to me to ensure our project went smoothly was a noble thing to do, even if I lacked some of the more outstanding skillsets of my peers. I may not be able to draw, design or command, but, being an artist, I had the ability to contribute ideas creatively and, having experience with microsoft office from working on similar projects during highschool, I was able to do a large amount of our presentation work. In the end, our group’s presentation and proposal was able to follow most of the 7 method steps and demonstrate our collaborative efforts.

(This amazing illustration was drawn by Eiris)

[takaraphoenix]

Review: Aladdin (2019)

Let me preface this by saying I had no plans of watching this movie at all. I absolutely loathe these cheap cash-crap remakes (not a typo, an intentional pun...) that Disney has been dashing out. The only one that was remotely enjoyable so far was Jungle Book, and with this year's line-up in particular I was sure I'd just... not watch any of them. As it stands, I wouldn't touch Dumbo with an oven-mitt and that Lion King thing looks way too cringeworthy.

Aladdin however did one thing in the trailer that made me go “oh”. One thing the other two didn't do – Dumbo went way too far away from the original while Lion King was just shot-by-shot the exact same damn movie as the animated classic, minus the emotions. But Aladdin seemed to stay true to the original animated movie while still giving it its original spin.

Will Smith. That's what I'm talking about. I mean, come on, Lion King literally cast the same dude to play Mufasa as the original because they're so afraid that people will compare the two movies, it's really messed up. And Robin Williams is... dead. We lost an amazing actor there, but it left Disney with a challenge. And I was really afraid they'd just try to imitate Robin.

The trailer alone however already showed that Will was going to give the movie his own spin. And, full disclosure, growing up, there were exactly two actors who got my butt in seats. Jackie Chan, Robin Williams and Will Smith. Those three? Didn't even need to know what a movie was about, as long as it featured them, it was going to be great. And while Will has... lost my good will over the years with questionable recent movies, I'll always have a baseline trust in him though and somehow the fact that he replaces another of my favorite childhood actors... He's the one who made me willing to give this movie a chance. That being said, gods I'm still sad about Robin's death.

Now to move on to the actual movie!

I'm a bit disappointed that Will sand the opening number and didn't turn it into a rap. But... the way he sings it makes me feel very... nostalgic. Not in a “urgh I want the original instead”, but in the way it's intended. That he is telling me this story I love.

...Uhm. Huh. Them just throwing Jasmine into the market-place with zero “introduction of Jasmine” scene beforehand? It's really weird, to be quite honest. I mean, everybody knows that scene because everybody knows the original movie, but still you shouldn't eclipse important scenes. Also yes, obviously am I going to compare it to the original. And the market-place scene is my favorite Aladdin/Jasmine scene – the playfulness of her playing crazy and the pure humor and immediate chemistry between the characters is what made me like them as a couple from the get-go. This new... order. And how he just immediately, two seconds after meeting her asks her to trust him and she has that “we slow down the movie, play a bit music as she stares in awe at him” moment? That... was too soon.

I think that changing the Jafar-Sultan dynamic so fundamentally wasn't a good idea. A huge part of it was that Jafar had wormed his way into the Sultan's mind even without the magic already. Here, the Sultan very clearly and loudly objects to Jafar while Jafar seems more like a... joke. The fact that they cast a rather neutral pretty boy instead of the tall, looming villainous villain doesn't entirely help either.

I do however love the changes they did with Jasmine. It's not just about her not wanting to marry, but her wanting to become sultan. Giving her ambition. Giving her a solo number – oh, that song was awesome and the conversation with her servant afterward was great too, because for one, she isn't so isolated anymore and for another, it does sell her motivation. Also I love the additional character, she's very precious.

I'm very relieved that Iago still talks – and not just parrots but actually speaks freely. With the live-action movies, they have made some dubious decisions before so part of me was afraid he'd just be A Bird (if he would even be in the movie).

At this point, I definitely do have to compliment the cast. Both Naomi Scott and Mena Massoud are really great in this – especially Mena brings such a good energy to the role! He plays Aladdin so well? He has that slightly bumbling charming thief thing down to a T. Damn.

And while we're on it I LOVE WILL SMITH. He does his own thing with the Genie and that is really all I had hoped. Because while Aladdin and Jasmine and Jafar, they're just characters and you can get actors, but the Genie had very prominently been Robin Williams' character, he carried all of his personality so making anyone else impersonate Robin really wouldn't have worked. Will making the Genie all his character was a really good call. He's fun, his own thing, not a cheap copy.

And Will and Mena have great chemistry! They play off each other so well, watching their dynamic is a lot of fun and that's... absolutely serving the movie.

...I dunno though, the whole “you have to rub the lamp while making the wish”, that's... weird. The lamp-rub should summon the Genie. This is kind of a strange change.

And while I vastly approve of the more accurate wardrobe, it really irritates me that for the majority of the movie, Jasmine isn't even at least wearing her signature color. At least during the dinner, she's wearing them – and I love the outfit. It's incredibly gorgeous.

I did not... If anyone had told me “they'll make a live-action remake and the Genie will get an OC girlfriend. And you're gonna love it”... I would have laughed in their faces?? But I genuinely love the new character, she is so adorable and I love this Will, this is the Will Smith of my childhood. They're actually, genuinely adorable??

And the change of making the head-guard... more than just the angry asshole. Making Jasmine talk to him about loyalty and change sides? That was a really powerful scene. Genuinely glad they removed the rapey “let's put Jasmine into a slave-girl outfit with shackles and all” scene...

Overall, I have to say that... they balanced it really well? They got a strong cast and found a great middle-ground between keeping things in line with the original and adding/updating things. Sure, some minor parts bothered me (seriously, that market-place scene was important to me), but all in all, the movie was actually really good?

I laughed so much during this movie. Mena, Will and Naomi are absolutely amazing, the comedy is great, which is highlighted by Mena's delivery and Will's quips and their dynamic with each other, while Naomi plays the straight woman so good. The cast is the heart of this movie, truly.

(There is just the same old issue as with the old one; that Genie has to force saving Aladdin into a wish for plot convenience. It was stupid the first time around already because the Genie keeps doing Aladdin favors – in this movie even more so than in the animated one. Distracting the handmaiden, making the country appear on a map, how were those two favors he could do without a wish but saving Aladdin's life...? Not that one??)

[delayedcritique]

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2 REVIEW

“Remember when ANGRY BIRDS used to just be a simple mobile game?”

BY COLLIN DELADE

Video game adaptations have been a struggling genre in cinema. Countless attempts have been made to translate a video game property to the big screen with various levels of success. Surprising everyone, the current highest-rated video game movies, according to Rotten Tomatoes, is THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2. All the advertising for this animated sequel were full of childish humor and a mediocre plotline that had little to do with the original material. Is THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2 genuinely the best video game movie yet?

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2 continues the story of Red (Jason Sudeikis) as he protects his bird island from the evil pigs led by their child in command, Leonard (Bill Hader). When a mystical third island is discovered made entirely out of ice, the birds and pigs must team up to protect their homelands from destruction. 

Right up front, the story of this animated sequel has absolutely nothing to do with the premise of the original mobile game. As much as a sequel needs to go in a different direction from it's original, that was more faithful to the source material, the storyline is the most generic and lazy plotline that makes absolutely no sense. The creative team behind the structure of the story and character development had very little respect for creative integrity and solely wanted to cash in their checks. 

Surprisingly, the animated team and the writer in charge of the humor really stepped up their game when it comes to this sequel. The animation is relatively impressive as each of these different worlds are set up. While I do recall the original flick having good animation, the humor in this sequel completely justifies the existence of this film. 

I was incredibly surprised by how consistent I laughed throughout this film. There are so many funny moments that genuinely keep my attention throughout the uninteresting plotline. Even the cringeworthy moments in the trailers that I rolled my eyes at had a good payoff that redeemed the more random material. 

Between the two ANGRY BIRDS movies, there is a fun animated video game flick to find. Looking back on my past review of the original film, I was favoring the more faithful storyline of the original game over the subpar humor. Combining the original storyline of birds versus pigs along with the better humor in this sequel, there is an excellent ANGRY BIRDS movie to enjoy. 

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2 is a very mediocre film that is saved by some amusing moments throughout its hour and thirty-seven-minute runtime. This is a rare case of a pointless, average cash grab that is saved by the small division of the creative team that actually put in the effort to make the film slightly enjoyable. I still would not recommend anyone to see this film in theaters with its lame story and character development. However, this is perfect as a rainy day rental for the whole family to modestly enjoy. 

6/10

[creepykingdom]

The Lion King (2019) Review

By Kayla Caldwell

Ah, The Lion King, the beautiful reimagining of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, this time, in live action form. Before we talk about how dreamy the visuals are, let me just say upfront, the singing is weak. But we’ll get more into that later. The movie seems to start about the same as the 1994 cartoon. Rafiki (John Kani) holds baby Simba (JD McCrary) up to present him to the animal kingdom as the camera pans to stunning views of Pride Rock. Young Simba is cute af. Every time he or baby Nala (Shahadi Wright Joseph) were onscreen I couldn’t stop thinking, “I want one!” And I didn’t realize it until I saw it in action, but John Oliver was the perfect choice for Zazu, down to the scene in which the perturbed bird shouted, “IT’S THE NEWS!” emphasizing how immensely important that message was, after Simba had playfully attacked him while he was going over the day’s happenings with Mufasa (James Earl Jones). And for anyone, who, like myself, was terrified about the waterworks that would be set off during the stampede scene, this version actually moved past Mufasa’s death pretty quickly. I was prepping myself to sob in the theater full of people, but next thing I knew Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor ) was yelling at Simba to run away, and we were already moving on. I’m grateful for that, at least, though I will say it’s still a pretty suspenseful scene. The music is LOUD and the sound of the wildebeests running is unnerving. Plus, the graphics are so good (especially in IMAX), that I almost raised my hand to swipe away the dust rising off of the ground as the animals charged. Watching this scene again in adulthood really made me question things. Why did Mufasa have to climb up to the top of that mountain? He seemed fine clinging to the side of the cliff. I mean, sure, I bet it was tiring, but how long could a stampede really last? Alas, even though I watched that scene like a naive child, hoping it would produce a different outcome despite knowing exactly how this story ends, Mufasa does fall. And he dies. And then… one last wildebeest runs by a trembling Simba, and all I could think was, same. That would be me in gym class, wrapping up the mile in a cool 12 minutes because ya girl has asthma and also is not built for running. 

After Simba runs away, he passes out in the desert, and there’s a scene where a group of vultures creepily circle before the cub is thankfully saved by Timon (Billy Eichner) and Pumba (Seth Rogan). Now, I’ve already said the singing in this movie is less than impressive, but it seems they tried to play up the humor to make up for it. And it’s not a bad effort. Timon and Pumba are hilarious. From the moment they meet the lion cub and introduce him to their philosophies “Life is meaningless” to Timon tactlessly asking, “What’s wrong… in as little words as possible?” The duo are a great comic relief. After teaching Simba “Hakuna Matata,” they mimic the montage from the original movie, where the little cub grows into a full-grown lion, all while they’re singing. And the meerkat and warthog joke about this in the movie, telling Simba enough is enough. Pumba jokes he’s gained about 300 pounds since they started singing. And Timon cries, “Now he’s riffing, Pumba, this is a nightmare!” There’s a scene around this time in the movie where a little pile of hair falls off of Simba’s mane, and floats down a river, and is picked up by a bug, and then a bird, and then the breeze, etc. etc. It eventually makes its way to Rafiki, alerting him that Simba has NOT died, and I get the visual impact they were going for - circle of life and all that jazz. However, as someone with thick hair that sheds about as much as a dog’s - this just made me think of when you have to clean a clump of hair off of your brush. Not exactly romantic. And as we all know, Hakuna Matata doesn’t quite work when you’re the rightful leader of a kingdom being thrown into disarray, something a grown-up Nala (Beyonce) reminds the wayward Simba. Their reunion sparks up a rendition of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” that could be described as cringeworthy. I know! I know, how dare I disrespect Beyonce like that? But hear me out, I’m a huge fan. I saw her on the Formation Tour and it was like a religious experience. But this version of the song is weird and full of riffs and just doesn’t feel like that beloved Elton John classic I was looking for. My roommate, who is super into music, even covered her face with her hands during it. Not a good sign. Another big disappointment? “Be Prepared.” That’s a great effing song in the cartoon. And Ejiofor basically just talk-sings it. That’s actually the main problem with this movie, and likely all of the Disney live action remakes. They put together great casts, but the problem is that they’re more focused on star power than vocal ability. So most of the songs in this film - which are classics beloved by fans - turn into weird, almost rap-y talk-songs. It’s a little disheartening. 

Speaking of Scar, dude is scary. Visually, they did a really good job making him fearsome. He’s too skinny. His fur seems matted, and he’s just … wrong. It’s perfect. Typically, whenever I see a big cat (like tigers or, say, a lion), I’m desperate to pet it. I know I cannot, but boy, do I want to. But with Scar, let me tell you just how much I did not want to pet him. I wanted to stay far, far away from that guy, and that is exactly how Scar should make me feel. His lackeys, the hyenas, weren’t any better. I feel bad saying this, because I love all animals, but man, are those things ugly. They’re like deformed dogs that should be in Stranger Things or something. The way they shrieked when ripping up a carcass also made me think of the evil monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. So yeah, be prepared to be scared. (See what I did there?) The conclusion of the film really ratchets up the fear factor. While the remaining Mufasa loyalists fight off Scar and the hyenas, the rest of Pride Rock is ablaze, surrounding them with flames while ash rains from the sky. It’s very Silent Hill-esque, and creepy as hell. I challenge you to not be alert and enraptured during this scene. All in all, it’s a really fun watch. Was it groundbreaking, or honestly, even necessary? No. The cartoon still holds up. But, that being said, there’s a great group of talent here, and Timon and Pumba really are funny. And, if you’ve been craving a more realistic depiction of the royal lions, then this is perfect for you. The views are stunning, and the animals (Scar and the hyenas aside) are beautiful. 

They also got creative with the cinematography, adding some fun, new POV shots that really enhance the overall experience of watching the film. Long live the king.

(ALL IMAGES COURTESY OF DISNEY)