#criminal masterminds

[kingstarkingslay]

What if?

What if ?

What if Remus and Regulus were criminal masterminds?

Would you like a clearer picture?

The dimly lit warehouse echoed with the clinking of glass and the murmur of voices, shadows dancing across crates stacked high. Remus Lupin leaned casually against a metal beam, his piercing gaze fixed on the young man seated across from him. Regulus Black, impeccably dressed in a tailored suit, exuded an air of quiet confidence as he studied the intricate blueprint spread out before him.

"So, Lupin," Regulus began, his voice smooth and calculated, "this is your latest scheme?"

Remus chuckled softly, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Call it an opportunity, Regulus. An opportunity for both of us."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, his fingers tapping lightly on the paper. "I'm listening."

"It's simple," Remus explained, his tone carrying the weight of experience. "There's a shipment coming in next week. High-value goods, untraceable currency. We intercept it before it reaches its destination."

Regulus nodded thoughtfully, his mind already mapping out contingencies and potential risks. "And what's in it for me?"

"A fair split, of course," Remus replied with a smirk. "Enough to keep the Black fortune thriving."

"Always about the money, Lupin," Regulus remarked, though there was a glint of amusement in his dark eyes.

"Isn't it always?" Remus countered, his own eyes sparkling with a mixture of mischief and determination. "But this isn't just about money, Regulus. It's about power. About proving that we're the ones who make the rules in this city."

Regulus leaned back in his chair, a slow smile spreading across his face. "You always did have a way with words, Lupin. Very well. Let's do it."

[alcordraws]

Rereading Artemis fowl is so delightful. That child is committing atrocities but it's okay he has adult supervision

[pyrotechnicdarts]

puss in boots’ (and also shrek universe movies in general) takes on fairy tale characters is so good. the way they make them grittier and darker by making a lot of them bounty hunters/crooks/etc without making it overly edgy and still keeping the fairytale whimsy of it all and keeping elements of the original fairytales/nursery rhymes is FANTASTIC i love these movies so much

[aangarchy]

Underrated moment is zuko assuming the gaang was aware he sent combustion man, and ratting himself out by accident lol

"Ok these guys know im a criminal mastermind by now". Oh zuko lol

The funniest part about that scene is Zuko trying to correct Sokka on the combustion man's name to me

"Well that's not his name but-" Zuko, bestie, i don't think that's what matters rn 😭😭

[karmicpunishment]

i know tachihara was likely the most recent recruit for the hunting dogs but it'd be super funny if the vault robbery happened when he was even younger and he was like. the third recruited. like yeah welcome to the team, meet your senior employees: the hero of the world, this women who likes to be in the form of a 12 year old and this actual 12 year old.

[zexapher]

Dragonslayer kinda cute tho, ngl

Tbf, Yang does get a more questioning look when Jaune actually mentions stealing the airship, but I thought this was pretty good.

I’m usually more of a White Knight kind of guy, but the Dragonslayer ship is also really fun.

[somewhere-in-wales]

In Season 3 I'd like a flashback with Azirpahale talking to Jane Austen, where she laments the need to marry to secure a prosperous future as a woman, and he inadvertently encourages her into a life of crime whilst gossiping about a hot, red-head criminal mastermind he's currently crushing on...

[slingbats]

the only telltale art anyone is getting out of me

[chrysoula]

Albedo spent sixty years rescuing Nahida from her cage, because he was looking for a challenge to test himself against. He didn't spend much time thinking about how, after the rush of satisfaction had faded, he would be in possession of a newborn god of wisdom who was so lost she tried to go back into her cage.

"Why are you here?" she asked, puzzled, as soon as the door to her cage opened. "There's so much-- You did so much, so why are you here?"

He stared at her as all of his sense of accomplishment washed away.

She began to gabble. "I knew something was happening, I could see your echoes, the ripples like a fish underwater, and I didn't know what you could want but I helped you when I could, because I wanted to see them beaten so why are you here?"

Because this is the finish line. But he knew better than to say that. Instead, he ran a rapid post-mortem on his plans over the last sixty years. When had the flaw been introduced, and how could he compensate for it?

"Okay," she said into the silence. "Now what?" Her eyes reminded him of glass marbles.

"I don't know what you want me to do," she said bitterly after a moment. "There's nothing I can do."

It was a worldview alien to Albedo. Ever since his mother abandoned him, he'd practiced turning his knowledge into power over the world around him. Before they called him a mastermind, they called him a meddler, and usually he didn't bother tidying up when he was done. 

"Oh. I see," she said, drawing her own conclusion and dropping her gaze. "You didn't come for me after all. How stupid I am." 

And even then, he struggled. He could see the potential shapes of the consequence he'd created and he didn't like them. He'd done something terrible and he had to repair it, but how--??

Tears began to spill from those green eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good enough yet. I shouldn't... I shouldn't get involved." And, wiping her eyes, she'd turned to step back into the cage.

That, at least, he could respond to. "No, don't do that. It would only make things worse."

"What?" She half-turned, her mouth open in surprise.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" That was probably a safe thing to ask in the situation. The government imprisoning her had been thoroughly disabled that morning. And newborns were often hungry.

"What?" she repeated, and then ran over to him. "Did you change your mind?"

Pleasantly, he said, "I think you did, but that's not an important detail at the moment. Why don't we sit down and talk about a few things?"

She promptly sat down, looking up at him with clear curiosity. He sat down on the ground too, refining his evaluation of her. "First of all, do you have a name of your own? One that doesn't belong to the Archon?"

"Nahida," she said, possibly for the first time. She looked a little surprised, in any case.

"I'm happy to meet you, Nahida. My name is Albedo." He gave her a friendly smile, and she stared at him like she was decoding his face. "Let's try to figure out what you'd like to do now."

"May I ask a question first?" She spoke with a respectfulness he didn't deserve. Not from her, anyhow. He'd have to earn it first.

"Please do. I'll do my best to answer it." While she formulated her thoughts, he began to synthesize some fish snacks he hoped she'd find palatable.

"Beyond your name, who are you?" It was a question carefully considered, and not the one he expected. But her earnest gaze remained fixed on him.

He considered his own response. It wasn't a question he was in the habit of answering. "Mostly, I plan things for other people. I'm quite clever and I've lived a long time compared to most, so I have certain advantages I enjoy sharing. In quite a few places, I'm considered a criminal, because what I help people do is often illegal. " He offered her the fish snacks. "I also engage in projects of my own, like this one."

She accepted one and nibbled on it. He observed as her eyes widened and she nibbled a bit more before finally making a face and putting it down. "I don't know how to taste it right. I'll work on it later."

"Is that what you want to do?" He saw this as a natural way of leading back to the core topic, but when she flinched, admitted to himself that such directness might have been a little cruel after already thrusting so much change on her unannounced.

"Do you think it tastes good?" she asked him uncertainly.

"Yes, I do."

She thought for a moment. "I'd like to learn to like it too, then. And I want to stay with you, please."

Did gods imprint? He'd never looked into the question. But the truth remained: she might be the god of wisdom, but she was also a powerful and traumatized child. If he walked away now, one way or another, she'd show up in his life again, the worse for it.

Calmly, he said, "Yes, I thought you might say that. Do you also want to rule Sumeru?"

She shrugged, curled up in a ball, rocked back and forth. "Sumeru is a dream to me, a world on the other side of pages and glass." Then she sat up again. "But you are somebody I never imagined existed. That seems more interesting than governing a country that doesn't want me to exist, all by myself."

"I agree," he said. "Still, having Sumeru on a stable footing may be useful in the future, so we should probably sort out the knot I made before we go on our way."

[rt3nenbaum]

“he is a 42 years old man" wrong, he is actually five, look at him, a child

[haicaora]

I watched like 3 eps of Hannibal and it is so funny this is how it sounds to me

Will: So then I found the guy cooking the body of the man we'd been looking for. It turned out he was gonna eat him, so I shot him dead.

Hannibal, holding a suspiciously human-shaped sandwich: I see. Have you ever wanted to taste another man, Will?

Will: No, not really. I don't want to lose my humanity like that, but what if that's who I am deep inside? What if everyone is right, and I'm exactly the same as these murderers?

Hannibal: 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 👅

[lyssq]

IT’S ABOUT BEING ENTIRELY DEDICATED SO MUCH TO PROTECTING SOMEONE, ALWAYS BEING PREPARED TO DIE FOR THEM (even if they don’t want you to), YOUR LIFE DOESN’T MATTER IT’S THEIRS

[allmyandroids]

Oh to be bound to a chair and be interrogated by Raymond Reddington who points some kind of gun or blade at you...oh...I realy long for that tbh

[minayuri]

RUDOLF KLEIN-ROGGE in DR. MABUSE, DER SPIELER (1922) dir. Fritz Lang

[lexkent]

Lex Luthor + ☕️

[andisupreme]

One funny thing about my little lady, Tidbit, is that she looks so sweet in photos. So angelic.

And yet the two facts you need to know about her are

The moment a piece of trash appears, she's stealing it. The moment I'm done with something and it becomes "trash", she has teleported onto the desk or my lap and it belongs to her now. She's stolen flosser picks out of my goddamn mouth. I can't have open garbage cans because that's just a new spawn point for Tidbit Treasures. I keep finding hoards of wrappers and pens and trinkets she's stolen. She stole a mini pride flag. I woke up to a scuffing noise once and turned on my phone light to see her dragging my sneaker away like the NYC subway pizza rat. Goblin behavior. Prize-motivated. Is just intelligent enough to have a sense of right and wrong and deliberately make the choice to do crime when the option presents itself.

It's difficult to know when she's actually seriously mad because she only has one urgency level when it comes to complaining. Which is an 11 on a 10 point scale. Any wrong against Tidbit receives the exact same level of screaming. She'll reach the same decibel level when I drag her into the shower for a flea bath as when I gently nudge her closer to pet for a few seconds. (And it's only the initial relocation she loathes, of course. After a moment when the relocation is over she's purring over getting pet but how DARE I move her somewhere without her say so.) From the gravest injustice to a minor momentary inconvenience, all is met with a righteous AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

And yet because of my living circumstances, I haven't had anyone around to socialize her with so the moment a stranger walks in the door, this noisy, annoying (<3) opinionated little Creechur completely disappears. Goes ghost. My dad swears he wouldn't know I have a second cat if he didn't see her in my window from time to time. It feels like she's purposefully acting like a shy little baby around others just to undermine me and my stories about her. She's doing this on PURPOSE. IT'S ALL YET MORE CRIMES.