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bruh-anator3000 · 1 year ago

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Special shout out to bae @thehistoriangirl for getting the kettle ready, we got a long story ahead of us. I actually wrote out an entire story but then realized most people dont want that, so let me break it down to the best of my ability. I hope you enjoy, and thank you to the 5 people who showed interest, I love you, like for real.

Warnings: severely unedited, Drug/substance abuse, inhumane product testing, death, probably bad writing at diseases (im working on it), child abuse/neglectance, daddy issues, crime, that should be all

Anisa Hardy was born with albinism and an autoimmune disease

Her premature birth gave both her and her mother serious issues, one that her father, a renowned surgeon and geneticist tried to undo

He tested his genetic reversal on Anisa when she was 7, trying to find the perfect formula to save his wife

He had a prophetic dream that he should splice their dna with the creature told to have 9 lives, so that if his wife did die, she could be reincarnated again

The splicing worked on Anisa but her mother died during the genetic sewing

Walter Hardy blames Anisa for lying to him that it worked

Her older sister ran away from home when Anisa was 16, leaving her the advice 'trust no one but yourself.'

Anisa stayed in school for the one reason of being better than her father

As her father went insane from losing his true love, he created a drug ring, and sold his company as he grew to become Nueva York's largest crime lord, under the alias of 'The Black Mask.'

Given her increased stealth, agility and strength thanks to the spliced cat dna, Anisa was forced to work as his number 1 robber, stealing things for him under the name of 'the Child of the Mask' (father's idea, not hers)

Got noticed by Alchemax as she entered college - the company Walter *used* to own

Met Miguel O'Hara when she interned with the lab cooperation

The typical trope of they couldn't express their care in any other way besides picking on each other

Anisa would bring Miguel his exact coffee order every morning though

He caught onto the fact she never had any real food to eat, and when he asked, she just snarked 'unless you bring me somethin else, I'll stick to my chips."

So he brought her homemade empanadas the next day

He was rewarded with one of the less noticeable stolen jewels her father made her take. Leaving it on O'Hara's desk without a word. This back and forth continued for a while

While in the labs, Anisa created a drug called 'Nine Lives.' A purple substance so strong, it could bring her back to life. It could only be used 9 times since it would slowly take over the blood stream 10% each dose.

However, Anisa made 10. Knowing full well her body would rupture if she ever took this drug ten times. She planned on it, in case one her last leg, she wouldn't be able to survive again

Miguel never really noticed, too caught up in his own research to care

The two never got to address their growing romantic feelings even after 2 years

And when Anisa thought she was ready to commit to the asshole of a coworker and finally ask him on a proper date, her father had the crazy idea that a spider's dna could bring his love back to life.

She was instructed to get Miguel alone and locked in the labs so that his men could take him out for testing. Because clearly, a healthy and strong young man's reaction to this would definitely be the same as a dead woman's

Anisa was inches away from the door when she broke down, running over to Miguel and begging him to leave. To trust her, and to walk out the lab doors and never come back

Obviously, he thought it was some stupid prank, an attempt to get him out so she could copy his work

That was until the glass behind them broke and a posion dart shot Anisa in the back of the neck, having her fall near dead asleep in Miguel's hold

Smoke filled the room, and as he tried to haul himself and Anisa out, three more darts landed on his back, knocking them both out clean

Anisa gained her vision, unable to move anything else as she helplessly watched her father's men drag Miguel away

She never returned to the labs

The next few nights, she paced, trying to figure out a way to get Miguel out of this mess

Thats when she adapted the 'Black Cat.'

She made her own suit, far different from the crappy skin tight shit her father threw at her, a mask that was inspired by Miguel's nanotechnology he tampered with, and broke into her father's labs

She found Miguel motionless, still dead asleep as a computer read how close his dna was to completing it's splicing

She ripped all her father's work apart, finally getting the revenge she's wanted for years and dragged Miguel's limp body out of the building

It was tough but she managed to get them back into the labs, where she set to work on making a neutralizer, similar to the one she had to take to contain the more... feral parts of her split blood

She created it, basing it off of her own but with spider calming elements instead and wrote it down for him. She injected him with it, watched as he sat up screaming, and disappeared, unable to face him

Guilt heavy as she wondered day and night; maybe if she tried harder, Miguel wouldn't have to live like her. Maybe if she was better, she could've saved him... and her mother

News of the black cat caught on, especially since she would steal for her father under his given alias, then take it all back a week or so later under her more fitting identity

She never talked to Miguel again, ignoring his calls, too ashamed with herself to even think of him

It wasn't until she was robbing one of the more secure banks of the city (technically un-robbing it by putting jewels *back*) that she met another vigilante, Spider-Man 2099

A ridiculous name, she taunted, her mask giving her words more confidence.

As they fought, and he told a smidge of his story, she caught on quick

She knew he was Miguel from the very beginning

I mean, who else has spider dna?

Suddenly, she didn't know what to do and nearly got herself kicked off a building and into the road

As time went on, Black cat was the only mask Anisa wore, stealing the artifacts or secret chemicals from their establishments before her father could get to them

All Walter knew was that his horrible daughter finally went missing - unaware his own creation beat him at his game nearly every heist

Spider-Man was the real issue. Choosing to fight Anisa instead of listening to her side

It was the labs all over again. Arguing without even caring who was actually right, just caring that it meant the spent more time together

Miguel would catch Black Cat just 'strolling' along rooftops where he was patrolling

He found himself sitting with his nemesis, splitting street food as they watched the city bustle beneath them

He didn't find out about her identity until he almost got her killed

Use one of nine for her concoction of 'Nine Lives.'

Miguel had found Black Mask's house of operation, and ignored the pleading of Black Cat

He refused to give up on this mission, needing to ensure Black Mask couldn't harm the world again

A failed fight later, the only way to stop Miguel from being shot dead was Anisa ripping off her mask to calm her father

But being seperated from him for so long, she forgot the rage that would boil over him everytime he saw his daughter's face - too similar to her mother, too similar to the wife she killed

He shot her 5 times in the chest without blinking, walking away as Miguel crawled over

He truly thought he lost another one to Black Mask. First, his uncle, the only one in his family who cared about him - and now the girl he ever considered close. Dare he say, a friend - maybe more.

On the brink of death, Anisa brought his hand down to her belt, revealing a purple vial with two needles at the end. Like fangs, with a shot mechanism

Rolling her head to the side, a silent invitation to inject her with this vial, right into her major pulse point

Miguel almost didn't do it. Terrified it would make things worse, but he had to take a chance

And after watching her bullet wounds heal over with fake purple skin, Anisa shot up, gasping

They grew closer then, after Miguel snappes at her for her criminal activities, and almost dying

The Black Cat and Spider-Man, working together?! Was on every headline for a few months

Then, Miguel disappeared

Completely gone, like he had fallen off the face of the earth, and Anisa couldn't do anything

She tried every resource, every gang, every possible thing, unwilling to loose someone like that again

But she couldn't find anything. Miguel was gone

It wasn't until three months later when one of her sources notified her of his pressence back in Nueva York

She immediately ran to a museum, stealing the largest Tomb there and waited anxiously for Miguel to come after her

He did, and she nearly tackled him with excitement

She quipped on and on, teasing him for leaving, but Miguel didn't respond to a single taunt, not even a grunt

When she lowered her guard, and her mask to sincerely ask what happened, a red web caught on her midsection

Slamming her face first into the concrete of the roof, breaking her nose immediately

He grabbed her chin, unfazed by the blood streaming down her face and yelled

But he didn't exactly yell, his voice just so angry, it was cold against her ear as he told her that hes seen things she could never comprehend

That there were worlds, far greater and far less than theirs, that they meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, that Anisa meant nothing. She never did.

And that if she kept trying to steal and be a criminal, he would no longer be the one to save her from her doom. That he wasn't going to spend his life chasing a lowlife like her. That shes already wasted so much of his time, that nothing she did mattered. It never did

And then, he left

Miguel left Anisa on the roof with a broken nose, the words of her sister ringing like a bell in her head

'Trust no one but yourself.'

For a while, Anisa let it be. Angrier than ever, upset that she let herself get hurt again, she went to work with her father again

Receiving tasks under a fake identity - Walter Hardy still believed he finally killed his daughter

But she grew bored, her anger needing closure or else she was going to bash everyone's head in Nueva York against the very asphalt they walked on

Like any normal not really ex - she stalked Miguel

It was hard finding a lead at first, but what she found was astonishing. Miguel had created an entire society

A society of spider people, from apl different dimensions

Naturally, she mapped out the entire building and filled all the air systems with a sleeping gas that knocked all the spiders out, expect for Miguel

His vents filled with paralyzing smoke, leaving him unable to move, but to witness the woman he never thought to see again walk through his complex building like she owned the place

Barging into his lair, she pressed on his wrist until a red web shot out

Grabbing it, she wrapped Miguel in his own webbing, and threw him into his chair before pressing a knife to his neck

"Anisa," he gulped out, "good to see you,"

"Ohhhhh," Anisa's head whipped around. Finding other spider with a five o'clock shadow slumped over. "You know her? Veryyyy cool." Peter B chuckled, slobbering running down his face as the paralysis kept his muscles still

They eventually work it out after he has Lyla do her explainy fhingy while hes limp and tied to a chair (lyla took photos) and Anisa would eventually get over it and understand

She would later go on to finally stop her father with the help of Miguel

Later, she would take over as Nueva York's largest crime lord - pissing Miguel off until he realized that crime actually went down since her rein began

She only took over because she knew if she didn't, someone worse would, and she uses her status as a way to demand criminals to get therapy and better jobs

She would also be granted max security for the spider society, and be allowed in whenever she wanted - always to meet up with Miguel, sometimes to help him, other times to just lay around and be a silent menace

Okay! Now with her story out of the way, i get to share the smaller details!

Anisa was born a second generation immigrant on her mother's side, from what was once known as Iran

Due to her albinism, she has silver hair and purple eyes, and she's smaller than a lot of people from being born prematurely

After the dna spilce, she gained some melanin back, and was given the opportunity to be a more average height/weight from it

She had to curate her own stabilizing serum since her father gave up on it, working closely with one of his scientists who helped her understand what was going on

The cat dna improved flexibility, agility, endurance, stealth, speed, heightened senses, and oddly, her chances of luck

Has claws and fangs very similar to Miguel, on both her fingers and toes. Her pupils also gained the ability to shrink and expand like a cat's, giving her an odd slit pupil look regularly

Bc of that, and her albinism, she's very very sensitive to light, often wearing some sort of eye wear to keep her safe

Her hair grew thicker too, excessive hair growth that was darker than her normal silver. It's odd trying to explain why near her temples/roots, its darker than the rest of her hair - explaining your mad scientist father spliced your genetic code with a black cat isn't easy

Makes biscuits whens shes deep in thought, and her claws get stuck on fabric and she cant pull away unless she grabs her wrist to manually detach her claws

Her tongue is textured too, and she came to that realization after licking ice cream and it left a really concerning pattern

She has to be very careful with what she wears, anything could tick her off with her hypersensitivity

I actually can't decide if I want her to grow ears and a tail yet so its in my mind as concept design still lmao

Really close to her sister, Emelia, and Anisa listens to her voicemail of her whenever she gets sad

Grew up used to people bullying her for her different appearance, so even if she wanted friends, no one dared be near her

Ironically enough, she's actually deadly allergic to seafood, so though her feline insticts go off when she smells fish, she cannot risk eating it

Her father signed her up for any extra curricular she wanted, Martial arts, sword fighting, gymnastics, anything to keep her away from him

Got in a lot of trouble with the law as a juvenile, an act of rebellion towards her father

Ordinarily, Alchemax wouldn't have hired the daughter of the insane scientist, but Anisa forged documents and changed her last name to her mother's

People tell her that she does have a very similar appearance to her father, and it makes her go crazy, wanting to rip out every part of her

Her skin is very sensitive, even more so bc of the heightened senses, so it scars really easily - it doesn't help she's picked up picking at scabs as a habit

Was lowkey in love at first sight with Miguel until he finally opened his mouth to tell her she was wrong with her formulas

They were apart of a group of roughly 10 other interns, but the rest requested a transfer not long after Anisa and Miguel started fighting over everything

The one thing that kept Anisa's interest piqued was that whenever someone made a diss about her appearance, calling her unnatural or a genetic mistake, Miguel would get on them in an instant

He backed another intern named Mark into the cart of petri dishes, breaking them all - Anisa would've started a fight on it if Miguel hadn't used it to his advantage to get the guy fired

Miguel was also quick to notice the bruises she'd come in with (being your father's main robber, only to then rob him to unrob the banks wasn't easy)

He only knew how to argue with her but he didn't want to make her feel bad about the scars or bruises, so that's when he brought up nutrition

And he didn't hesitate to make her lunch from then on. He didn't even explain why or let Anisa question him. He would simply silently hand her a paper bag as she handed him his morning coffee

After the whole testing incident and stuff, he planned on coming back to work and to ask Anisa what she knew about it, but was devastated to find her gone

As Spider-Man, after their maybe 6th run in, Anisa stopped what she was doing to teach him how to control his claws and fangs, tired of being smacked with a handful of talons

It was awkward as she would dig her fingers into his hands and above his lip, helping him feel the motion of retracting them, but it worked

She also tried to teach him about the sixth sense, the spidery sense bc she had a cat sense

Only to find out that she could lob foam blades at him all day and he wouldn't be able to sense it

Literally could not stop laughing as she made him stand there, eyes closed, and threw fake weapons at him, and he couldn't sense where they were, grumbling

Anisa progressively got more flirty as time went on, her hidden identity making her way bolder than normal - even though she's never actually done the deed

(She didn't trust anyone enough to, especially not with how incredibly sensitive she was. Claws come out when unchecked, just saying)

While on patrol, he found Black Cat just sitting and joined her, unknowingly starting a habit of them both grabbing street junk food and watching the city together

During these times, she would joke how she knew his identity, but never had the courage to actually say it, so she would compare him to old movie stars just to see him get offended

He found out Anisa was Black Cat - or at least really started to suspect it when she responded the same to his question of eating better - "unless you make me," in the same almost forgotten tone

Their relationship did progress into a grey area of romance, both of them knowing they couldn't reveal their identities so being together outside of their little game of cat and mouse

She never did more than aggressively makeout with Miguel on the rooftops, refusing to. Miguel understood but he was always perplexed how someone could flirt so heavily then not be hot and bothered like him

Anisa is obviously very smart, and was able to copy Miguel's digital watch, the hologram aspect of it at least

Also copied his nanotech designs, obviously, and would often try messing with his to understand how it all worked

Was shocked to find out it wasn't nanotech, but a bunch of unstable atoms to create a hologram

1000% stops mid battle to follow stray cats, often making Miguel come with

Does the cat kicking litter move on him when hes late to their chase, often mocking him by asking how he was gonna let pigs beat a spider

After her whole shot in the chest and died thingy, Miguel asked about her 'Nine Lives' substance and she walked him through the process of making it and how it reacts to her blood only while laying in a web hammock he made

She explained that because she was the only one in charge of keeping her genetics human - besides the one other scientist - she was constantly trying to improve her serum, which led to the creation of Nine Lives

Teased her once with a fish cake, and nearly had a heart attack when she gurgled out how deadly allergic she was to it before trying ti claw it out of his grasp

He threw it in a randomw alley and had to web her to a wall to get her to stop trying to eat it

Once he caught on to the way Anisa's eyes slitted in focus whenever his webbing would first shoot out, he would use the string to mess with her until she gave into the feline urge to chase it

Same with lasers, its very embarrassing for her but Miguel loves it

His 3 month disappearance was when he switched places with his alter self, going to take care of Gabriela before her world collapsed

Which is why he was super angry when he came back, furious Anisa could be making jokes at a time like this (she didn't know what time it was, just that her super hot not really boyfriend came back)

Given her abilities to copycat most structures or devices, Anisa spent an entire month mapping out the spider society, just so she could send them all to sleep

And it worked, spider senses or not, no one could escape the sleeping smoke when it came from every vent

Peter B was very thrilled to find out Anisa was Miguel's Black Cat, unbothered by the fact he was in the lime of fire, falling to the same paralysis Miguel did

Lyla absolutely ate that shit up, barely keeping herself together as Anisa wheeled Miguel around in his chair so he could explain things better

When she finally forgave him, he took her on a tour of the society

Something awoke in Anisa everytime Miguel would get slightly harsh in tone, telling any spider that approached them that she was *his* Black Cat

Made her feel very special

When she became crime lord, Miguel didn't talk to her for weeks, feeling betrayed without even listening to why

Then he noticed he wasn't called on his Earth for missions anymore, able to focus on the multiverse a lot better

Thanks to Anisa

Who spent all her time handling actual villains for him, and helped the ones who felt they had no other option get stable jobs

I.E kicked the shit out of Green Goblin (Miguel's brother, whoops) and helped his minions find secure jobs that would financially keep them stable

The spider people love her for her ability to calm Miguel down (they have a separate training room that they use to tear into each other after 24 hours of no stabilizing serum)

She gets really heartbroken when she hears the other canon Black Cat events, and takes her time to notice them so she can discreetly derail them from happening, a silent attempt of keeping Miguel in her life

And that's all, so far! I'm sure theres plenty I forgot, I really tried to cut as much as I could so it wouldn't be a long read but... I'm a writer at heart, I couldn't help it. Please, please, please ask questions! I would love to tell more about her! Thank you to those who read it all, I hope your leftovers are heated evenly and your pillow is cold on both sides <3

#Anisa Hardy #black cat oc #black cat #Miguel o'hara #miguel x oc #spidersona #bruh oc #bruh writes #spiderverse oc #spiderverse

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nityarawal · 2 months ago

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10/10/24

Anjali

Morning Songs

Anjali

Came Into My Life

Anjali Chose Me

No One Else There

Birthing In The Tub

Anjali Close To Me

Children Come

To Mom

Children Trust

Their Mothers

To Protect Them

Daily

Anjali Came To Me

Fifteen Years Ago

Anjali Came To Me

On A Wave You Know

Anjali Has Grace

Divine

Mothers Will Never

Quibble

For Their Right

Anjali Has Grace

Divine

She Flew To Me

On A Wave

Through My Legs

Like A Wet Seal

My Baby Swam

Anjali Came To Me

Teaching Birthing

From Within

Anjali Came To

Peace Peace Peace

Is The Mantra

Anjali Came To

She Chose Me

For Her Mom

Rapunzel

Transvestites

Usurped

Our Baes

And It's Just

Not Who We

Want In Our

Schools

We Understand

Kinks

Fantasies

So Make A Movie

You Don't Castrate

Kids

Then Cover

With Wars

On Pleas

If You Want Kids

So Bad

Take Your Castor

Oil And Pray

Prioritize Fertility

If You're Not

Smart Enough

To Use Resources

At Hand

Blessed

Our Merciless

Government

Will Never Be An

Appropriate

Coparent

Will Obligate

You Today

Mr. Waterman

Said 52% Died

On Covid Remedies

Who Decides

To Pick And Choose

Play God

Netanyahu

And Slumlord

He Said Emily

Pearson Was

Dosed With

Remdesivin

Why Not Ivermectin

His Old Wife

Is Still Here

Today Because

He Ordered It From

India

How Many Moms

Did Mrs. Miller

Kill For American

First Legal

It Didn't Work

On Emily Pearson

Or Her Husband

So Why'd They

Use It Within

8 Hours Of Each

Other

Dr. Tima Ivanova

Tried To Hide

Her Best Friends

Crimes

Foul Play

We Called

Foul Play

But Dr. Cash

Just Swept It

Under The Rug

In PTSD Reports

For Courts

Leslie Wiedner

Died The Same Year

Her Daughter

Movie Star

Tina Molina

Cleaned Up On Her

Veronica Mars

Never Paid Enough

Neptune Wasn't

A Big Enough Gig

She Had To Get

In On Encinitasbeachhome.com

With The Jaded

Crew

Tina Molina

I Need My Things

Tell Broker Shane Stewart

And Attys Ken Carlsson

Tina Molina

I Need My Things

Sent To

1067 Neptune

Tina Molina

I Need A Death

Report

Was Your Mother

Murdered

With Remdesivin

And Foul Play

Tina Molina

Won't You Hustle

With Our Atty

Tina Molina

Your Mamma

Says Nick Depinto

Works With All

The Italian

Mafia

Tina Molina

Is He In A Construct

With A Zionists

Gang

Stirling Ken's Group

With Ed Noyes

Seems Netanyahu

Got The Best

Of Them

With Errol

Inflicting Israeli

Airforce Rapes

On Americans

Endless Slumlordings

In His Back

Pocket

Ransom

With Dyke Surrogates

Gay Prime Ministers

Ukranian Baby Cons

For Infertile

Meanies

Propagating War

They Broke

Elon's Neck In

Jujitsu

For His Fortieth

Ply Him With Dyke

Surrogates

He Says He Doesn't

Talk To His Daddy

After He Gave

Him Malaria

On His Last

Trip To South Africa

So Why Does

Errol Brag

Of Investors

Surrogates Orphans

Why Does Errol

Brag And Offer

To Sell His Son's

Genes

Why Does Kamala

Brag

The New Castrating

Queen

We Need A Grounded

Mummy

From Iowa

And Irany

We Need A Grounded

Mamma

From Iowa

And Irany

'Cuz The Sea

Is Comin' To

The Heartland

And My Daughter

Wants To Be

With Me

Anjali Has One

Wish

On Her Birthday

Make It #1

Priority

Merci

Peace, Love, Eternal,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

Encinitasbeachhome.com

0 notes

elithewho · 5 years ago

Photo

Edgar “the Armenian” Kasabian in season 3 for @akahypotheticals

#babylon berlin #babylon berlin spoilers #the armenian #edgar kasabian #crime daddy for my bae #<3 #mišel matičević

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slasherwife · 4 years ago

Note

S/o pampering the slashers + Vincent , they come home and the s/o prepared a bath and cook them dinner.

Y/n Spoiling Their Slasher

Ooh funn! Sometimes these poor bois need extra love ��💞

Thomas:

- He would be a flustered baby from the beginning🥺

- He would feel bad that you’re doing this stuff for him and would feel a bit awkward since he’s so used to being the provider, that he wouldn’t really know how to act 🌼

- He clings to you for guidance, because being so relaxed and spoiled like this feels like a crime to him. And that breaks my heart.

- You end up being the mother hen, coaxing him and cooing at him as he looks up at you as if you're an angel. He'll lower himself into the bath and hold onto your hand, falling into a pit of pure love for you. You are literally his angel and you are GLOWING in his eyes💕

- when you give him a special dinner, he eats it happily and offers to share almost everything with you. It's like he's mostly concerned with what's on your plate instead of his, glancing over and making sure you're enjoying yourself. He can't help it though, it's completely second nature to him 💫��

He is still hesitant to let himself be comfortable because he has literally never had anything like this ever in his life. He still looks to you for guidance and you tell him that you won't make him do anything he's not comfortable with.

- You both end the night with him clinging to you, buried his face in your stomach with his arms wrapped around your hips. He repeats in his mind that he doesn't deserve an angel like you until he falls asleep, dreaming about you. This boy is lovesick. 💕

Jason

- Jason would just full on melt. He already knew how kind and loving you could be, and honestly isn't too surprised that you would do this. He nevertheless of course, puts his masked-face on your temple in the form of a kiss, and strokes your ear as a thank you💗

- Big boy doesn't waste a minute, he's stripped and ready to dive in. He definitely did NOT expect you to come over there and help him wash. Unsurprisingly he got bashful and looked away as you lovingly scratched his shoulders and unknotted his huge biceps and neck. He ends up going slack in the tub from how good it feels. 😊

- His eyes don't leave you most of the time. He looks away bashfully when you glance at him or smile at him, and his heart is just a fluttery mess at you. When you courteously look away when he steps out of the bath, you direct him to a big meal you made <3

- He has no idea where to start he is a trainwreck at just eating a mf meal. You smile encouragingly at him as he delicately uses his fork (which looks like a toothpick in his hands) and eats like he's at the queen's reception ceremony. He is SO polite. Uses a napkin and everything.

- I canon that he was ALWAYS hungry pre-zombie phase, and could literally eat 5 horses in one sitting (a weird visual but--) he signs to you asking what you were going to eat, and will literally fight with you about you taking his plate if you haven't eaten yet. 💖😤

- hes a babe

Michael

- this bitch. you already know bae.

- He would refuse the bath because he finds it weird that he would bathe in a bath you made him (im confused too dw) He will stand there, his 7 ft tall ass, shaking his head at you no.

- you somehow end up getting in the bath with him because that was the only chance he would take the bath-- with you literally stuck to him as he drags you around like a pool noodle 🥲

- he might initiate funky time but probably not. he just wants to be clean tbh. He spends the entire bath time smelling your hair as he doesn't allow you to move for a good 10 minutes. He strokes your neck though which is nice 💖

- after you guys both leave the bath, he is still carrying you like a purse, but lets you at least put on a towel so you're not sitting naked at the dinner table.

- He's really touchy tonight, and it's mostly because he's filled to the rim with love for you. 💗He expresses it with roughhousing though and handling you like a ragdoll. He does NOT mean to hurt you though and will be gentle if you tell him to cut it out.

- He eats absolutely everything on his plate gratefully, again, doesn't express it in the most civil way, but he appreciates it (surprisingly). He actually might eat from your plate, you can't tell me this 7 ft giant doesn't run on five rotisserie chickens a day.

Bo Sinclair

- I literally didn't even want to write for this dude. He is an asshole. But he's a hot asshole with daddy vibes so here we are 😤💗

- I would never expect Bo to worship you in return for you doing this for him. There are some things he will boast and tease you about being a swoon for him, being obsessed over him and whatnot~~~ But stuff like this is a little too much for that. It almost touches him. Almost💘

- He initially just doesn't know what to say. He loves you, that’s obvious. So he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying the wrong thing (which he does ALL THE TIME) so he's going to be uncharacteristically non hyper-verbal

- When you tell him you have a bath running for him upstairs, he'll think you're joking at first. When it becomes obvious that you're not, you lead him to it, and he looks at you when you're not looking and there's a slight of affection in them🌼

- He offers to share the bath with you, with a glint in his eye and that velvety smooth tone of his. This makes you blush furiously and become shy, which eggs him on. It’s completely up to you though, heh, because this will in fact lead to the sex

- afterwards he may drag you over to the bed to sleep~~~ until you tell him you have dinner waiting for him, and he is a fucking s l u t for food after funky time ✨

- now here he definitely teases you. “you’re practically worshipping me, doll. how am I supposed to treat you now?” What we’re you expecting? but internally he’s bursting at the seams and he’s very touched. 💖Probably to the point where he’s uncomfortable and will either be very quiet (he has no idea what to say) or he’ll tease the shit out of you as a coping mechanism.

- he eats like a normal person unlike everyone else here (and maybe Vincent) going on about his day where you listen patiently with a smile on your face ☺️

- Then when in bed, with his back facing you, he’ll very quietly thank you for doing this for him, because Lord knows he needed it. He’s very thankful 💖

Vincent Sinclair

- all signs of responsiveness is cut. I mean, he’s the tiniest bit of smug if I’m raw honest. He was the golden child out of the two when he was younger and even if Bo is top dog in Ambrose, the feeling of deserving more than he does is still there. Which he DOES 😭💖

- He’s in absolutely no way like Bo. Bo is a smug ass who doesn’t listen to anyone (who we stan btw), but he’s still touched to the core.💖 You didn’t need to do this, you wanted to

- he knew he was worthy of being loved. He knew Bo wasn’t going to hold him down forever. he’s felt he needed this for the longest time. He wants to beat Bo; ~~~

- and when the prettiest, sweetest angel is at his feet pampering him, he just knows how jealous Bo is. 💘😭 Anyway SORRY I’m rambling~~ I feel like Vinny would be too scared to go into the bath himself and would have you sit on a stool beside him.

- he’ll be signing to you the entire time he’s in the bath~~ about anything and everything. He’s just so emotionally connected to you, he can’t help but spill his thoughts 🥺

- you both would eat your dinner in his room, probably on his bed as you share ideas about sculpting and life Bring a laptop so y’all can watch Netflix together ✨

- he’d want to make love to you after but that depends on how shy he’s feeling. It would probably be gentle and devoid of much lust, only love🥺💓

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kanmom51 · 3 years ago

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Did you watch ITS? Bam is the cutest dog ever, I enjoyed this 1 episode. However I was disappointed to see jkks being unreasonably insecure, and saying the same things as antis, "jkk do no live together, he does not know the dog, he did not wake up jm" this is ot7 show. Birthday live showed they are always the same! With these jokers and tkks screaming married over quad sharing, they ruined my mood

I Sure did watch ITS anon, stayed up til 2 am for it, lol.

Bam is gorgeous.

He looks like a sweetheart, but not a surprise, when he has a daddy like that, lol.

I was rofl when Bam had a boo boo in the dining area, it was absolutely hilarious, JK trying to cover up the crime scene.

Anyways, I'm not surprised at the reactions, not one little bit. Kind of knew it would happen, no matter what. Less than a millisecond later and everything that happened prior, including JM's birthday live, which we literally saw unfolding in front of our own eyes in real time (as opposed to this that was filmed a few months back), just dispersed.

The insecure, the doubters, the antis, all out in their droves.

Don't let them ruin it for you anon.

I will address this once here and that's it.

Bam

What we know - he is a puppy. He is around 4 months old. JK told us he missed him because he was in puppy training centre (which is like a doggy camp for around 3-4 months). He is not yet fully potty trained.

These are facts, and now some conjecture on my part based on what I saw: Bam knows JM. He feels comfortable with him, and JM feels comfortable with Bam. It's not only the way JM jumped up the second JK sat down with Bam to go to Bam, it's not only the way he pat him and Bam turned to face JM and they brought their faces together, no fear, no apprehension, no hesitation, but it's also JK's lack of reaction to it. He didn't even turn his head to look, like it's a per usual interaction, nothing new to see here.

All the insecurity surrounding JM's remarks as to how Bam grew and that it's been long, I don't really get it. Have these people not heard JK say Bam was away at training camp? Have they not realised this is a 4 month old puppy that grows at lightning speed (I suggest they go look up YT clips showing doberman's growth by weeks)? As for JM's remark about it being long, well, this is the man that literally told his bae he missed him after not seeing him for what, 5 minutes?

When you miss someone you love, even short periods of time without them are a long time to you, so using this terminology means nothing as to how long it's been since JM has seen Bam.

The way that Bam B lines to JM, tail up in the air. Not to Tae that's sitting on the floor, not to JK sitting on the couch, straight to JM. And yet again, JK's reaction, or lack thereof. Not a head turn, not even a glance.

So, to sum it up, Bam is a cutie 4 month old pup, who's been away at puppy school, the interactions between Bam & JM point to JM knowing Bam and Bam knowing JM (there is a dog-human trust bond there already).

What amazes me is that with all this insecurity people have missed just how much of Jikook we actually got in this one episode.

We had them late night hanging out only the two of them together.

We had them alone at 6:00 am (JK having to get up in the morning to take care of Bam), JK giving JM his own private performance, lol.

And maybe even being a little jokingly suggestive too:

And has JM's suggestion that JK take the separate studio gone unnoticed too?

I got one thing to say anon:

Jikook are together

So anon, I say buckle up, enjoy the ride, because ITS 2 is gonna be a blast. And I'm not necessarily talking about Jikook, but about them all, it's gonna be great fun, so just sit ack and enjoy it.

#ask #anon #ITS 2 #ITS 2 Jikook #Jikook #Kookmin #Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM #Bam

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chaneajoyyy · 5 years ago

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Hey love 💕 Could you please suggest some MBJ/Killmonger fics that are complete? I’m dying of boredom and I just wanna binge-read

COMPLETED ERIK KILLMONGER SERIES

- tis’ the season series (and the blurbs), dont take it personal series, a catchfish christmas series and the blurbs), the horror of our love series, bedwarmer series (with t’challa and m’baku), musical oneshots series (i know, gangsta, gods and monsters, charm x e)- @teakturn (all on AO3)

- i call bullshit series, no mercy series- @aloevverified (search: wmi masterlist)

- no place like home series, red bottoms series, strawberry shortcake series, into the depths series, can you handle it series, killing booth series, arguments series, crowning glory series, waiting to get home series, best friends series, line loves series- @hearteyes-for-killmonger

- sudden reunions series, sorry loser series- @supersizemeplz (search: masterlist)

- end in flames series- @bvlckgirlmvgix (search: erik killmonger x blackIreader)

- rekindle series- @soufcakmistress (search: masterlist)

- be careful sweetheart series- @avenging-fics

- desserts series- @forbeautyandlife

- you like what you see (may or may not be complete), me and your mama- @panthergoddessbast

- haunted heart series- @youreallyshouldtalkmore

- mystery of the golden fang series, a map made in heaven series- @youcantkillamutant (scroll for erik killmonger x black!oc)

- breaking boundaries & breaking walls series part 1- @kaytauru (scroll for #breaking boundaries)

- deal series- @wakandamama

- medicine series, child of mine series- @wakanda-inspired

- operation honeypot series, death of a bachelor series, liberation series- @blackpantherimagines

- ring series- @blackpantherismyish

- fried green tomatoes series, his nightmare (or his queen) series, best you had series- @iliketowrite1996 (scroll for erik stevens x reader)

- what we used to be series, personal trainer series, on the run series, @dacreskars (search: masterlist)

- n’jadaka’s helpful hands series- @eerythingisshaka (scroll down page for masterlist)

- if ever there were angels series- @lesqui

-homewrecker series, grindin series, jp3 series- @shaekingshitup

- my king series- @justauthoring

- for you series- @marvellovegalore (scroll for marvel fanfiction)

- lady and the tramp series- @livingmybestfakelife (search masterlist)

- shae butter baby series- @nachtaiwrites (scroll for erik x reader)

- reckoning series, around the world and back series- @muse-of-mbaku (scroll for black panther mastersit)

- call out my name series, is it over? series- @oshaia (scroll for erikkillmonger)

- what you don’t do series- @wakandanblogger (scroll for erik killmonger x reader)

- i do care series- @cancerianprincess (scroll for erik x reader)

- havana series, snowball series, split part 1 (please read the whole series), drillmonger series, waiting in vain series- @erikismybitch (scroll page for updated masterlist you can’t miss it!)

- heartbreak series- @artsninspo (scroll down for masterlist)

- sight series- @ghostfacekill-monger

- ember series part 1 ( do read the whole series-part of it is on her wattpad page @/nahimjustfeelingit-writes), the lagoon seiries, wet dreams series- @eye-raq (search: masterlist)

- kevin’s heart series, foot fetish headcanon (one-shot) series- @madamslayyy

- little girl series- @sweeter-thejuice (search: masterlist)

- oops series, east atlanta love letters series, loyal!erik blurg series- @another-imaginesblog

- spoiled series, thru the phone series- @princesskillmonger (scroll for erik killmonger imagine)

- blind date series- @cosmiceyegasms (scroll for cosmiceyegasms)

- dirt little secrets series, @goddessofthundathighs (search: masterlist)

- loyalty series, changes series- @melaninmarvelgirl62

- sunsets series- @mbakusprincess (search: masterlist)

- carried series- @ororowrites

- passenger seat series- @blackmissfrizzle

- a perfect crime series- @wikiwakanda (search: masterlist)

- my dope man series, the very best man series, home sweet home series (sequel to the very best man series), daddy time? series, go home erik series, coconut series, i love you king series, you don’t own me series- @killmoncoochie (scroll for erik killmonger fic and coochiefic)

- a reward series- @big-flop-energy- (scroll for leeleefic and

- hold your breath series- @njadont (scroll for erik x reader)

- leave a light on series- @mariamermaid (scroll for erik x reader)

- smoke and mirrors series (sequel is on her ao3-> madeline grey)- @lannisterkitty

- pray for me series- @thekrazykeke

- love galore series- @mbjslilthang

- bad at love series- @fandomnom

- the sweetest taste series- @wakandaforeverwrites

COMPLETED MBJ SERIES (I WILL BE ADDING INCOMPLETE FICS & (COMPLETED) ONESHOTS CAUSE THERE’S NOT A LOT OF COMPLETED ONES)

*=incomplete

*- pet peeve series (currently on wattpad)- @aspacefork

- life unexpected series*, midnight fm series*, you again series (with chadwick)*, hot girl summer (with chadwick), at the oscars (with chadwick), the reader wanting a bbl (with chadwick), honey love series (with chadwick)- @lady-love-and-glitter-roses

- loving her, need you by my side, busted, planning the future, false accusations, mesy, flirt, reconnect, can’t help myself, +2, instagram bae, hello mrs. jordan, dance for you- @plussizeappreciationfics (scroll for michael b jordan x reader or michael b jordan x plus size reader)

- oooh...we got a house house?!, test, birthday fic, he was erik... (one shot for now)- @writerbee-ffs (scroll for michael b jordan x reader)

- comics are for nerds, unexpected surprise, sick times, it’ll be okay, love- @running-on-fanfiction (search: michael b jordan)

- three times a charm?, late night shenanigans- @marvelouss-marvel

- split series (part 1) do read the series as a whole, just take both, nsfw- @erikismybitch

- red carpet tings- @mbjslilthang

- headcanons series- @atechnologicalmarvel (search: michael b. jordan)

-michael b jordan imagine where hes doing an interivew/red carpet thing and the person asks him where his gf is and not super into the hollywood life, michael and his gf get into a fights where she leaves and ends taking care of her, michael and his gf break up but still miss each other, michael and reader are dating and did a movie together and doing a cool photoshoot together, michael and you take your son to the black panther premiere and you annouces your pregnant again, imichael b jordan imagine where the reader is a famous singer and he goes to one of her concerts (she doesn’t know) and he surprises her backstage and they go out afterwards?, michael b jordan imagine where reader is a famous singer and she invites him to be in one of her music videos (where they play a couloe) and after the video they end up hooking up and start to like each other?- @fangirlfanwritings (search: michael b jordan)

- all mbj fics - @justimagaine (search: michael b jordan)

- imagine: joke, imagine: interview, having a puppy family would include...-@fandomnom (scroll for michael b. jordan)

- alphabet series (a is for arrest)*, soft kiss - @calif0rnia-lovers

*- beauty unit series- @mermaidchansons (search: michael b jordan)

- all mbj imagines- @celebrityyimaginees (scroll for michael b jordan x reader)

-nike air max 97, mornings- @teachallas (scroll for michael b jordan x reader)

- double trouble, movement, photo op, romcom tragedy- @basickassandra (search: michael b jordan)

- molasses- @michaelbwriting

***IF I FORGOT ANYONE/STORIES FROM THOSE ALREADY LISTED PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! SOME WRITER WHO I WANTED TO INLCUDE HAVE LEFT SO I COULDN’T ADD THEM***

#the bp plug #the plug #librarian at your service #bp librarian at your service #let's chat #sip tea #talk fanfiction #erik killmonger fanfiction #black panther fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #michael b. jordan fanfiction #completed fics

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waka-chan-out · 4 years ago

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rating nicknames:

@liibrii tagged anyone that wanted to join so i’m subjecting you all to my opinions

mommy/daddy: daddy? 2/10. mommy? 7/10.

darling: cute, classic, but should be used sparingly. 8/10

doll: very few people can pull this one off. should also be used infrequently. 6/10

slut/whore: exposing myself . . . 11/10.

baby: in the bedroom? 7/10. “come here, baby”? 8/10. in literally any other context? breaking up with you/10.

love: should be used sparingly but another classic. 8.5/10

bae: I -- what the fuck? no. absolutely not. I might commit a literal crime if someone called me this, whether ironic or not.

kitten/bunny/puppy: didn’t think I was into it . . . . I was wrong. kitten 4/10. bunny 5.5/10. puppy 10/10 but only when used against someone else. i don’t want to be called puppy lmao.

cow: why the fuck is this on this list.

princess: makes me feel like an infant so i get violent ick when it’s used. -0.02/10

brat: i had a longer explanation typed out for this but i’m just gonna say 10/10 and leave it at that.

angel: 3/10. idk to me it just sounds kinda awkward.

i’m adding one of my own because this list doesn’t feel complete

sir/ma’am: lord have mercy. 40/10. 400/10. i don’t know how this wasn’t on the original list because 🥴

tagging: @tanzaniiite (if you want to baby no pressure), anyone else that wants to (i want to hear your opinions fr !! drop them in the replies if u don’t want to reblog)

#i don’t usually do tag games but i have such a big mouth i couldn’t not do this one lmaoo #ushijima and aone are the only men allowed to call me darling or love daily #meg’s thoughts #tag games ✌️🧍🏼‍♂️

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midnightsnackxx · 5 years ago

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test time: answer these questions if you remember. then tag people you want to have answer these questions.

when did you first start roleplaying?: On tumblr? Well, my longest standing indie blog dates back to 2014 at least. (Idr know how much longer ago b/c I scrubbed almost all of it) I did group roleplaying before I did tumblr indie and that was during the height of Degrassi: TNG SO idkkk ( @smokinglipsx you was there, how far back was that? lol) I think my very first roleplaying experiences were over yahoo messenger/aim and then briefly livejournal then here (lots of DTNG canon and oc stuff), fuck it’s been a journey. You know how many email accounts I have bruned through in my life? SMH who was your first character?: lawd idk. if tumblr group, then probably canon Jay Hogart for DTNG rpg cuz he the 1. For indie tumblr, my first characters were a trio: Sebastian (Ezra Miller fc - tortured artist), Camille (Francia Raisa fc - promiscuous co-ed) and Dom (Joe Manganiello fc - bearded independent contractor god) who has been your favorite character to play?: Ugh. Why you wanna do this to me? I love the damaged ones so Max Sheppard (Charlie Hunnam fc - alcoholic pawn shop owner), Saoirse Kebede (Ruth Negga fc - adorable ruthless crime boss), Vincenzo Fitsimmons (Zachary Quinto fc - psychopathic lawyer/Dexter superfan) AND though not damaged, Charlie (Russell Tovey fc) cuz he daddy bae who is a character you miss playing?: Hmmmm. Saoirse Kebede (Ruth Negga fc) @presidentdriver - I miss Saoirse and Billy OKAY what is one thing you completely regret about your rp past?: NOT A DAMN THING.. No, I do have regerts. Probably re-partnering with people I didn’t like partnering with in the first place. And NO that doesn’t apply to any of my current partners before any of you get worried :p what is one of your favorite rp memories?: Generally, when I meet someone via RP and we click then we become friends then we still fuck with each other years later cuz we still out here rping XD

tagged by: @strawberryxwrites

tagging: @smokinglipsx , @presidentdriver , @treasureslowlyfaded , @undrcssed, @saintsandsiinners, @prxnsias

#ooc.#the more you knoooow

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blackcatanna · 5 years ago

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Kinky TB Adventures (probably) with Okita Part 1: Kyoto Winds

Finally playing another Hakuoki route because I spent 10 hours travelling yesterday and I deserve some imaginary romance, damn it! Choosing Okita because he seems fun and I hate that he disappears from the story pretty early on in most routes and then dies off screen :'(

WARNING: I wrote a lot :)

Intro:

I don't know why but Kodo's evil old man face made me laugh so much during the intro.

Playing the prologue because it has a hearty chunk of Okita in it and it's been a while since I played the game.

Chizuru talking about the invisible wall between herself and other people is relatable af :')

"I'm not sure if I belong here... No. No, that's all in my head." < < < ME. Hello imposter syndrome, my old friend :')

I now feel like a li'l bitch for complaining about my journey yesterday when Chizuru WALKED nearly 500KM from Edo to Kyoto X_X

I'm loving this old timey film effect on the Kodo flashback.

I feel like Kodo's actions and motivations change depending on the route so I'm not going to try too hard to wrap my head around them here.

I love that "Ronin" is basically shorthand for "Evil Douchebag Thug" in this game X_X

Yukimura: "Be careful, father! Kyoto is a dangerous place!" Also Yukimura: "I have nothing to fear because I look like a BOY :) " Selfless but foolish X_X Although, you could argue that being reckless is selfish because it disregards your loved ones' feelings, should you get hurt.

At least the game gives these ronin names :') although... they don't have eyes. I think I'd rather have eyes, if I had to choose.

"I could still hear the ronin cursing loudly" I just have an image of these three guys running through the streets of Kyoto yelling, "FUCK. SHIT. PISS. ASS."

This game invested a lot in blood effects and sounds and I respect and appreciate that.

"He died with the first blow" Silver linings?

"They were... broken" :'(

Awe, the furies look so happy to see me :') JK, this scene is appropriately chilling. They do have big smiles, though.

More blood splashes and visceral blood descriptions :')

Okita, your sadism is showing.

Or maybe he knows that Saito doesn't like killing his comrades and that's why he wanted to kill them first :O :O :O

"if you just sat back and let them kill the kid, you could have saved us some trouble." -_- I enjoy Okita's banter but I have a feeling that it's going to be a bit one sided because Chizuru doesn't do back talk X_X

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, WHY IS OKITA NOT BLINKING?!??

Oh here we go. Let's take a moment to worship Hijikata. I still think that Saito and Okita are better looking but sure, let's take a break to gush about "smooth, dark hair" in the moonlight and "the wistfulness of flower petals" "as if the cherry trees were blooming out of season" X_X ick.

HEY. CHIZURU. REMEMBER WHO RESCUED YOU. IT WASN'T THIS FUCKER.

OH GOD, IT CONTINUES, "His voice was cold and quiet, like a blade of ice. Blue-white moonlight lit his slender face.." blah blah ick.

OH, WE'RE STILL NOT DONE?!? "But it wasn't the sword making my breath catch. It was his eyes. They were fierce and hard, but somewhere behind them... I could catch a glimpse of... something else." Blah blah, troubled, mercy, blah

"Run, and I will kill you. Do you understand?" SPLOOSH (yes, I have been watching Archer)

I was sort of joking about being aroused by threats of violence but swords are definitely sexier than... whatever that whole flowery passage was...

Okita still is not blinking O_O

Hijikata telling Okita to shut up is a mood. Sorry, Okita.

Okay, NOW Okita's blinking. Guess all it took was Hijikata suggesting that they're going to kill me for a change. Apparently, only Okita's allowed to threaten to murder me X_X

Side note: if anyone reads this and is wondering if I'm aware that I switch between "You", "Me" and "Chizuru" then yes, I am and no, I don't care.

Apparently, Okita blinking was a fluke. Maybe he only blinks when he is pushed off stride or, like, flustered or surprised?

Also, I don't tend to think of Okita as being especially tall but he's taller than Hijikata!

"So we should just kill people now?" Um... you don't do that?

"What?! Come on, you can't be serious" HE SAID, BLINKING AND THUS BACKING UP MY THEORY.

"Almost as if I was being... drawn into their world..." Oh dear! We wouldn't want that to happen, that's not why we bought the game at all! :P

"A world where there is nothing strange in carrying on a normal conversation in the dead of night with corpses for company." Edgy. Although, I hope that this conversation is far from normal O_O

"As you wish." Hijikata is Saito's Princess Buttercup. I'm not jealous.

WHOA. I was just musing about death as usual and now Okita's RIGHT UP IN MY FACE.

"We did save you, didn't we?" WELL, TECHNICALLY, Saito saved me. You suggested letting the furies KILL ME.

"I didn't realise right away he was speaking to me." How? He's taking up the entire screen?

"Thank you very much." Fair. "I apologise for not thanking you earlier." Okay, calm down. It's not like they gave you a chance to speak in between death threats.

"The man called Hajime also looked confused. His eyes were wide and he had an expression I couldn't place." Then allow me: STARTLED ERMINE. Hijikata's is DISGRUNTLED HORSE and Okita's is SMUG LYNX. Aka: how three different animals react to the discovery that their prey is a girl. I know that horses don't hunt prey. However, they do have to deal with it when their animal subordinates unwittingly capture it.

"He broke out in laughter again, so much so that he was forced to wipe a few tears from his eyes" I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE HAVING SUCH A JOLLY TIME, YOU ASS.

Now that he's figured out that I'm a girl, he's suddenly keen to introduce himself :P

"The one you should be thanking for saving you is Hajime Saito" CORRECT.

Is he deliberately trying to let him kill me by giving out as much info as possible? O_o

"His fingers like iron cables around my arm." Kinky.

"The cause of my horror wasn't the gruesome end that awaited me, but something else entirely." Hanging out with these crazy fuckers.

Chapter 1:

Damn, I wrote a lot more than I had expected for the prologue X_X

"My limbs were tightly bound in tight knots" I wouldn't be surprised if Okita was a shibari expert...

"This is no way to treat a guest of ours" Obviously, Inou-bae is trying to be kind but this feels like something a supervillain would say after their minions bring you to their lair X_X

"he smiled at me and winked" get this man a route! Actually, wait, how old is Chizuru... OKAY, FORGET I SAID THAT. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO FLIRT WITH THIS 16 YEAR OLD GIRL. Although, maybe a dad route? No romance, just familial love. He's a better dad than Kodo. NO DADDY KINKS ALLOWED.

Apparently, Harada and Nagakura being "lively" is supposed to reassure me?!

Ah, Okita and his hilarious jokes about invading my personal space.

I'm so glad that Saito doesn't let him get away with this nonsense <3

And now we're sticking up for Saito and calling out Okita's bs <3

"the smile lingered through his bright eyes" Oo-er

"He looked more like a boy than a man." Says you!

The baka trio look so done X_X

"Their faces were still blessed with youth" Phew. Looks like we'll have some eye candy while we're brutally executed.

A STICK?!? THEY'RE CALLING ME A STICK?! HAVE THEY NOT SEEN THE ANIME INTRO?! CHIZURU HAS TITS!!!

"The hell I will, boy!" Calm down, Kratos.

"You could be taken for interrogating" not if you assholes don't make such a song and dance about me witnessing your shady activities! How would anybody know to interrogate me in the first place?!

"Let's just kill the kid" How about no!!!

"I was just kidding." WERE YOU, or did you just change your tune because daddy Kondou told you off? -_- I don't think Saito's buying your shit.

"Hehe." XD best response!

Side note, how am I the first person to witness the furies in action?! They run around the streets, chopping people up and there are already rumours about the Shinsengumi committing brutal crimes.

Also, how often do they sentence men to death? There are a lot of men in the fury corps and I bet that some choose death or try and run for it and die in the process.

"I think that Souji has a point" BOO, HARADA!

"Uh-oh. Well, this is going to make it even harder for us to simply let you go..." He's doing the not blinking thing again! Maybe that's because his prey is in his sights... O_O Also, thanks a lot, Heisuke X_X

"A man should always be ready to face death. You should make your peace with yours." Okay, first of all, I look like a child to you! Secondly, bit sexist! Not all men choose the path of the warrior. Thirdly, AS IF, I'm just going to lay down and accept my POINTLESS murder just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. No, Nagakura, I am NOT okay with being MURDERED. How dare you imply that I'm a coward for not wanting to die for this BULLSHIT.

Not sure if I mentioned this last time but Sano's casual suicide comments remind me of being at uni :')

"there's something I want to look into." Is it my stuff? Are you going to go through my stuff now? X_X

"I... I'm sorry." I forgive you, Heisuke! As for everyone else who's acting like this is all my fault and you've done nothing wrong, fuck you. Y'all shouldn't be doing evil science in the first place, especially if you're then going to try and justify MURDERING everyone who glimpses the evulz.

This whole bit reminds me of a DnD party where everyone's arguing over whether or not to kill someone. This is definitely more like a DnD argument than your average movie argument X_X

"All right, Saito, take care of the kid." 😍 Yes, Saito, take care of me :D NOT IN A MURDERY WAY O_O

Time to RUN THE FUCK AWAY. Maybe, if they hadn't acted like murdering assholes, I wouldn't be doing this but they don't seem to give a fuck about me so AWAY I GO.

"I knew it was rude, but I had no choice but to try and open the sliding door with my toe." Priorities X_X They kidnapped you, tied you up and threatened to kill you countless times. Honey, you stick it to those fuckers with your shady toe opening.

WE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT OUT OF THE ROOM!!!

"Sorry," No your not -_- "but now we've got to kill you." No you don't!

"Then you may do whatever you like with me." Um, why is this the Okita romance option? XD Don't say those words to that sadist, who knows what he wants to do to you! O_O

"We aren't going to eat you or anything." ...Damn X_X I hope that your stance changes if we get married.

"Heh. Never seen such an innocent girl like you." Ugh. As if. Running around dressed as a boy. Can't be that innocent. Certainly not if he read my last comment :P . Anyway, YOU SOUND CREEPY, TALKING LIKE THAT XD

"All right, all right. Now, tell your big brother... Why were you cross-dressing around Kyoto?" THA FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL YOURSELF?!?? And MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS XD DON'T KINK SHAME ME!

"Well, 'she' claims to be a girl, but it's not like we have any actual proof, right?" Um, I'M not the one who said that I'm a girl and I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. I WILL FIGHT YOU FUCKERS IF YOU COME NEAR ME >:(

"My apologies, but I took the liberty of checking through your belongings." I wouldn't mind, except NOT ONCE did they give me a chance to explain myself or plead my case. He could have just asked whatever he wanted to know and then checked my bags to verify it X_X

"Hey now," HEY NOW, NOW, sing this corrosion to me... No? I'll be quiet :(

"So, you've been withholding information from us?" YOU BARELY GAVE ME A CHANCE TO SPEAK, YOU DICK!

Welp, they've agreed not to kill me and yet Okita's still taking it upon himself to threaten me with death while fixing me with his unblinking, predatory stare X_X

"Gee, didn't take long for you to change your tune once you knew she was a girl, eh Shin?" TRUTH

"Having a lady here at headquarters is sure to brighten things up." Joke's on you: I'm a goth ;P

"you can't just pawn her off on someone else." Okita, nooooooo! Don't make me work for this grumpy bitch!

"I hope you you'll take good care of her." Wink wink, nudge nudge. What's the matter, Hijikata senpai? Am I not pretty enough for you? :'(

"You sons of BITCHES." HEY. HIJIKATA. NO NEED TO INSULT THEIR INNOCENT MOTHERS. Just call them straight up bitches :)

"The Shinsengumi keeping a woman here... If such rumours were to spread, tongues would begin to wag." Yeah, yeah, so we might as well just all fuck. People are going to say we're doing it, regardless, so let's get this over with...

Or I could keep pretending to be a man. That could also work.

"You're gonna get a room, and you're gonna stay in it." FUCK YOU

"I could have sworn we decided she was going to be someone's page" O_O FUCK YOU EVEN MORE, OKITA.

So... lonely... must... find... friends...

Okita and Saito friends :D

When I first played this game, I was really keen to find my "father" but now that I know what he's like, it's hard to muster quite the same level of enthusiasm X_X

"Draw your blade, unless it is merely decoration." Spicy! I'm glad that Yukimura is not so easily goaded into fighting.

"I'm not lying." You tell him, girl!

Saito and Okita's stunned faces when you suggest that you might accidentally hurt Saito are priceless! X_X I guess this shows that you take this seriously, though.

"Excuse me... You don't have to laugh..." XD Is this almost sassy?

Surprise, Okita likes it when I do what he says despite understandable reservations XD

Saito looks way too happy to be doing this XD was this just a chance for him to show off? :P

IS HE LAUGHING AT ME?!? XD RUDE!

WHA THA FUCK. I think that it was a glitch but there were suddenly about seven Saitos on screen. Maybe that's what it feels like when you're fighting him.

Woah, it happened again, only this time there were two and one was squashed.

I'm fine with there being more Saitos.

Aaaaand he's holding a sword at my throat... Sploosh? Shut up, swords are sexy. I probably watched too many period and fantasy films as a child...

"In the blink of an eye, his face was only inches from mine," O RLY? 😏 WAIT, I'm supposed to be playing Okita's route X_X Must... stop getting distracted...

"Your master should be proud." SAY IT AGAIN 😍

"I then noticed how wildly my heart was beating." Though not from fear, right? ;)

"You all right?" Kind words? FROM OKITA?!?

"polite applause" FROM OKITA!?!

"If you want, we'll keep you company." Yes, Okita, obviously I want that :D

First sign of madness: talking to your own head!

Okita could look less smug about catching me talking to myself -_-

"I wanted to scream, but before I could open my mouth, Saito stepped out from behind the door." X_X Well, they did say they'd keep me company.

"I think that's enough fraternising, Souji." Wait a second...

"I figured if I left the two of you alone, it would be longer before I saw either of you," ... Why does that sound slightly risqué? -_- I feel like this scene changes slightly depending on your affection levels...

-_- The only reason Heisuke is short is because Nagakura's stunted his growth by constantly stealing his food.

"How are we to deal with accepting such insanity?" MOOD.

Wait, does Okita subsist entirely on sake?! O_O

"Try not to worry about eating too much or being a freeloader or something. Just eat your little heart out, okay?" Surprisingly wholesome content from Okita :')

Takeda! <3 My douchey doppelganger!

"your adorable page" -_- Watch it, "big brother"

"I'm not having any of your insolence today." Hijikata temporarily transforming into a villainous English aristocrat.

And after aaaaallll that, I'm just going to stay behind to spend some quality time with Okita, probably X_X

"Huh!? Why? You're finally getting the chance to search for Kodo." GOOD POINT. However, gotta get that dick, amirite?

"Perhaps, I should have gone..." YUP. PROBABLY.

"Are you regretting it? If you are, then you should've just gone with them." TRUTH.

"He smiled wryly before continuing while touching my chin." WEEEEOOOOA WEEEEEOOOOA PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM. WE HAVE INITIATED PHYSICAL CONTACT. IT WAS WORTH STAYING BEHIND AFTER ALL!

"You don't regret it at all? Not even if you knew that Hajime and I went out of our way to convince Hijikata?" Aw, y'all did that for me? Yeah, this is a terrible decision X_X Except for the part with the chin touching. I guess stalking you overrides all logic?

"I was surprised. Saito did make that promise" and what? You thought he was a liar? Girl.

"It was actually Hajime that convinced Hijikata." Not sure if Okita's being modest but this is making it reeeeally hard for me to stop myself fangirling over Saito. Again.

"When I see Saito later, I need to apologise and give my thanks to him." YOU BETTER. >:(

Did he just call me useless (in a battle)? XD I mean, he's not wrong... As we will no doubt soon find out...

Wait, wait... He just said that if I'm in danger, I will become a nuisance and he'll FRICKIN' STAB ME. WHAT?! DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU THE GREATEST DANGER, OKITA!??

Chapter 2:

Did we ever apologise to Saito? X_X

"Please allow me to continue looking for my father!" Where was this enthusiasm earlier -_-

"If you want that risk, feel free to join us." Ooooooh, scary.

"Remember that you're here to keep me company" Um, excuse me!?

Burn down the city and kidnap the Emperor while everyone else is "losing their shit." This seems like the plan of crazy people o_O

"Would you care to join us." Kondou's making this raid sound like a dinner party X_X

Chizuru getting distracted by the more "elegant" night uniforms while preparing for the raid is a Big Mood.

Am I going crazy or does this game normally give me more choices here? Am I being paranoid or is it now shipping me with Okita? Can't I normally choose to go with Hijikata or stay behind?

"Giving the enemy a good, loud warning that he's about to kick the tar out of them. That's Kondou for you..." Okita kind of has a point X_X

"They sauntered towards the inn" Quite the image.

Oh shit! Okita's fighting Kazama O_O

"Okita was battling a ronin." Damn, you're lucky that Kazama can't read minds X_X

"Thanks for the dance, chump." -_- Kazama's such a dick.

"You're our enemy, so you've gotta die." Okita's philosophy is simple and elegant.

"His sword moved in large, crude arcs, while Okita fought with skill and finesse." Wow, SUPER glad that Kazama can't read minds O_O

EXECUTE PLAN: HURL BOWL AT KAZAMA.

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE: OKITA SENPAI NOTICED ME.

Wait... WHAT WAS THAT "WET CRUNCH" WHEN KAZAMA KICKED OKITA'S CHEST!??!? O_O IS THIS HOW HE GETS TB?!? O_O

"Wet, tearing coughs." OH FUCK O_O

"I like watching children squirm." WTF, Kazama. BEGONE, THOT.

:'O Injured Okita is trying to put himself between me and that crazy bitch <3

Oh damn, he is coughing e blood :'O

"What a fool" UUUURRRRGGGGH KAZAMA IS THE WORST. SOME PEOPLE CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, KAZAMA. AND SOME PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO PUT THEMSELVES IN DANGER BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT MORE THAN THEIR OWN SELFISH NEEDS.

"I... I can still fight..." NO.

"You always said you'd kill me if I got in your way..." OOOOOOOOOOOH! HERE WE GO! THE FAÇADE BEGINS TO SHOW CRACKS *munches popcorn*

Iba... y u no mention our shared childhood?

ISHIDA POWDERED MEDICINE.

Nagakura says that it's delicious... I wonder if it tastes like cough medicine. Cough medicine is delicious. And addictive...

"I would never have thought that Toudou or Okita would return from a fight injured..." Why, Inoue? Are skilled and strong warriors invincible?

"The injured are a burden, so we shall remain here and guard the compound like obedient soldiers." O_O Ouch, Sanan!

Wait, I don't get a choice to go with them?! I KNEW IT. THIS GAME KNOOOOOWS! I'm too far down the Okita path to turn back now, I guess.

"Um... " Chizuru is me trying to make small talk.

Weird isn't necessarily a bad thing, Chizuru! Take it as a compliment!

I feel bad for not realising how badly injured he got during the raid during my other playthroughs X_X

I thought that I'd somehow missed the scene with the children because this playthrough's taking so long because I'm making so many fricking notes X_X Turns out, I have a lot more to say when you actually get to spend time with the chosen boi.

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't kidnap them or anything." ... GOOD!????

"I was bored" Hey, I get lonesome too! Why can't you come play with me? D:

"They take care of me." Pretty cute. :3

"You wanna come play with us?" Duh!

"No" GURL

He really does look like a happy cat when he smiles!

Wow, these children have a lot of attitude.

"It's a place for men to do, um, work." Yes, just normal human work. Nothing funny going on here.

"They're catching bad guys and keeping Kyoto safe" "No, they're not. They're just killing people." These kids are SAVAGE :')

"Can't deny that" ... Way to back me up, Souji...

"I probably hear him talk about death everyday." Wait, really? What exactly does he have to say about death?

"The Shinsengumi are a bunch a weirdos." :') And that makes them extremely lovable!

Last time, I tried defending the Shinsengumi and Okita ended up terrorising a child so LET'S PICK THE OTHER OPTION AND SEE IF THERE'S LESS CRAZY...

"Don't tell me you're taking this seriously?" CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, OKITA!

"They all look like bad guys." Why? Because they're hot?

"I didn't know what I was supposed to do..." Uh, maybe tell this childries not to judge a book by its cover? Idk, maybe try and suggest that the world is not so black and white? Definitely don't mention the bloodlust.

"Grinning like an idiot." You're just jealous of his happiness, you cynical-ass child

"He's a wuss." UM, pretty sure he's the most powerful member of the Shinsengumi so stfu :P

"He grabbed the child" Oh dear... Here we go...

Okita! Use your words to teach the children a lesson! Not whatever this fucked up shit is X_X

Ah, ruling with fear! :') When has that ever backfired?

"I'll tell them I'm sorry. Then I'll tell them how awesome Kondou is." GUD. >:(

Uuuuugh, I'm so so tired and I've written so much CRAP so I will SLEEP and play the next bit tomorrow! :D

#hakuoki #hakuouki #okita #okita souji #SALT #kyoto winds

16 notes · View notes

specialmindz · 5 years ago

Photo

”NYEH!!”

“nope! try again bro,” said Sans, smiling with his arms outstretched.

“WHAT DA’ FRIGGIN’ HELL SNAS?! WHY I CAN’T DO DIS?”

“keeeep practicing pappy, you’ll get it! hee hee hee!” He laughed as Papyrus gave him an angry look, probably thinking he was being made fun of, though that really wasn’t the case. Sans had actually been trying to help Papyrus; help him stay Determined so he’d have a better chance of learning his unique Karma attack, which even his own father gave up on quite some time ago, but unfortunately, it seemed like his taunting wouldn’t be enough, as the baby bone’s frustration was beginning to become more and more apparent with each passing failure.

His brother wasn’t a full Wingdings, but he definitely shared their impatience, which was what caused that particular member of the Dingbat family to multitask. If Papyrus didn’t pick up on something as quickly as he liked, he’d soon put it aside for later and move on to something else, and if he couldn’t master the comedian’s Karma technique with his FULL attention, then, well…

“WHY DIS HAPPENING TO ME? DIS AIN’T RIGHT! I’S THE MASTERPIECE, YOU’S THE ROUGHDRAFT! I’S SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER AT ERYTHING!!”

Gaster stood by the Nursery’s doorway observing the two, clipboard in hand, “I believe it may have something to do with his soul’s value…”

“Nyeh?”

“Sans values Integrity above all else, as represented by his soul’s blue coloring. Integrity itself is defined as doing what one believes is the right thing no matter what,” Gaster flipped through the papers attached to his clipboard.

SHIF SHIF!

“Kay’.”

SHIF SHIF SHIF!

“…”

SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE!

“pfft! dad…”

Gaster stopped writing and looked up from his clipboard to see his son pointing down at Papyrus, who was staring at him with a smile from the floor. “What?”

“Are you’s gonna finish dat thought, or…?

“Hadn’t planned on it. I figured since you’re sooo much smarter and better than everyone else, you could do it yourself-”

“NYEH!” Papyrus tried the Karma attack on Gaster and failed.

“eeeasy lil’ bro…”

“Hatred is not the key Snas.”

CA-THUNK!

Seeing his father leave the Nursery and shut the door behind him, Papyrus’s whined and plopped down on the floor. “Nyeh-haaaa…Daddy went away…”

“that’s probably cause’ you tried to attack him pap.”

“I’s just trying to learn the Caramel…”

“karma, pappy. it’s called the ‘karma’ attack.”

“Kar-ma…?” Papyrus scratched his skull with a tiny hand, feeling as if he’d heard that word before. “Waz karma Snas? Is popcorn?”

“nope. Those are kernals. ‘karma’ is what happens when you either do good or bad things. If you’re a good person, your karma will be good, but if you’re bad…”

“…”

“it *sigh* it’ll be bad pappy. your karma will be bad.”

Could he really not figure that out on his own?

“OOOOHHH! Is soul-glow!”

“soul-glow…?” Now Sans was confused. He hadn’t expected his baby brother to understand what he meant COMPLETELY, but Papyrus had surprised him before with his impressive intellect and “unique” way of thinking. Maybe he had figured out what Gaster meant when he said his integrity played a key role in his attack; Sans certainly hadn’t.

The ability was discovered on accident actually, when he noticed Papyrus about to do something the infant KNEW he wasn’t supposed to be doing…that being climbing on top of their father’s chair and using their computer while it was still online. They were SUPPOSED to wait in the office quietly while their father completed their checkups and put the new information into the computer as the children were no longer allowed in the Medical Ward, possibly due to it being too crowded and idea of allowing his brother into a room full of sick people being the worst one ever. Unfortunately, being impatient to move on to whatever task he had waiting next in line, Gaster had seemingly forgotten to make sure the boys had left the room before him, but no doubt he’d be back once his mistake was realized to yell at his younger sibling.

Lying on the couch and caught between not giving a crap and caring for his little brother, Sans lazily raised a hand and swiped it to the left, pretending to move Papyrus via the psychokinesis he didn’t have.

He did not expect to actually send the baby flying into a cabinet.

“NYEHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

CRAH-THUMP!

The sound of the cabinet doors splintering and his tiny brother’s body thudding against the wooden back from inside, made Sans wince. Any other infant would be either dead or sporting more than a few broken bones, but Papyrus’s baby formula had something in it that made him stronger and more durable than other newborns. Kicking a broken piece of door, he stomped out of the cabinet, scanning the room with his eyes for the oh-so-funny, soon-to-be dead mother FUCKER who thought they could throw him around like Scrappy Doo.

“WHO DID DAT?! WHO DA’ FEEGIN’ HELL DID DAT?!”

“holy cra-bro are you all right?”

“DAT YOU BOO BOO? WHOEVER DID DAT BETTER COME OUT RIGHT NOW OR THEY GONNA DIE!!”

“i doubt it was napstablook pappy.”

Undaunted, Papyrus ignored his older brother and waited patiently for the perpetrator to come out and admit their crime…but nobody came. He looked around the room once more, his confusion turning into concern upon seeing his lie ignored.

The Blook family were music lovers like himself, this he knew. If they weren’t listening to it, they were dancing or creating it, meaning not a single soul in their family tree was deaf. By that logic, the Verbal Font’s audio hypnosis should have worked on them…so why didn’t anyone appear? Where there more ghost monsters in the Underground? Ones Papyrus didn’t know about? Ones that liked to throw babies?

“Nyeh? NAH! NOOOOOO! DADDYYYY!”

BLOOSH!

Papyrus fired his gaster blaster below him as he felt himself began to rise into the air once more. He had HOPED to hit the legs of whoever was attempting to pick him up, but it only resulted in a small crater forming in the office tile.

“NYEHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHH!!!! DADDYYYYY, SAVE DA’ BABY!!”

“heh heh heh heh…”

“IS NOT FUNNY SNAS! GO GET THE SLEEPY WATER AND SAVE THE BABY!”

“you want me to throw a whole bottle of chloroform on you just to-”

“GET DA’ SLEEPY WATERRRRR!!” Screeched the panicked infant, swinging his fists and kicking his tiny legs wildly.

“iiiii dunno bro, that doesn’t sound safe. chloroform is metabolized into trichloro methanol, which metabolizes into phosgene, and that’s toxic-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT YO’ STINK SCIENCE!!”

“long term effects of inhalation involve cancer, since chloroform is a confirmed carcinogen verified through multiple epidemiological studies, and i know epidemiology is the study of diseases in animals and humans, but our species is hella close baby bro.”

“SNAS!!”

“i don’t really study epidemiology, but you know how dad gets when you get him talking about fonts and science, apparently virus fonts are super dangerous.”

“…”

“i can’t remember what kind of cancer he said you’d get if i gave you too much chloroform, but regardless, i don’t think you should be anywhere near it anyway to be honest. a human baby, possibly even a baby monster would be dead by now if they were in YOUR uh…feet…pajamas. why’re you looking at me like that?”

“…Why your hand up for so long?” asked the baby bones, eyeing his brother suspiciously.

“what? i exercise.”

“Only yo’ mouth. You do dis?”

“nope.”

Sans put his arm down and Papyrus dropped to the floor.

“NYEH!”

“hey! be careful with my little broth-”

“Shut up Snas, I know is you.”

CA-THINK!

“whaaaat? noooo, that was just coincidence baby bro,” said Sans, watching his father walk into the room. The scientist looked once at the broken cabinet and then at the crater Papyrus had made before fixing his glare on the infant.

“I know when you’s lying big Buther.”

“you don’t think it was coincidence? hmm…maybe i’m being framed. what do you think?”

“I think you’s an asshole.”

“i was asking dad.”

Not that he’ll find this impressive, but maybe the mystery will keep him from yelling about the office damage. Though what I REALLY want is to avoid another computer argument. I know he’s gonna accuse Pappy of something, even though HE’S the one who forgot to log off.

…

How DID I do this?

“Sans, what happened?”

“SNAS THROWED THE BABY!”

“SHUT UP PAPYRUS!”

“I highly doubt that.”

“NO, HE DID! HE DID THROW DA’ BABY! SNAS A JEDI!”

“Sans is a what…?”

Speak clearly Papyrus!

“he thinks i threw him into the cabinet even though i didn’t.”

“You really didn’t huh? Well dat’s good big Buther, cause’ if you did, I’d throw you in court! THEN you’d has a reason to raise your hand and lie to eryone…”

“i don’t get it,” said Sans, confused.

“In court they makes you pace yo’ hand on the bib-el and then you raise your other one and-”

“*PFFT!* did you just say ‘bib-el?” He immediately burst out laughing, much to the baby’s annoyance.

“Nyeh? Why you laugh? They not do that no more?”

“It’s pronounced BYE-ble, not ‘bib-el’ Papyrus, and it’s not something you should be reading.”

“Nuh-uh! It’s got the word ‘bib’ in it, so it MUST be for babies! Is the holy book of baes!”

“No.”

“It ’twas written by Jesus and his saints-”

“that part you got right.”

“No, no he didn’t. Moses wrote the Bible Sans. Your brother speaks nonsense as per usual.”

“Nope, it was Jesus all right. Moses made condoms,” said the baby, matter-of-factly.

“Commandments.”

“Condiments.”

“moses invented ketchup?!”

“No child. Papyrus, stop filling your brother’s skull with blather! Our family already has a bad reputation and some people still talk to Sans-”

“Dat’s right big Buther! He turned a whole ocean into ketchup and then made it split apart so he and his peoples could walk across it. Today, is called da’ Red Sea.”

“Shut up Papyrus.”

“cooooool!”

“Yep, he very cool. He from Egypt too, just like da’ baby!”

“Your FONT is from Egypt, YOU are American-”

“Is too bad he not one of Jesus’s saints…least I don’t think he be. I not read the whole bib-el yet and I doesn’t know all the saints. I know there be twelve dough!” The infant tapped his chin thoughtfully as if trying to remember them all.

Not that Sans believed his brother knew a single thing about the Bible or religion in general. Their father said it was a dangerous tool humans used to harm others, including their own species, and that it slowed down scientific progress. Out of curiosity however, Sans paid a visit to the “librarby” to see for himself, having been taught early that taking his family’s word for absolutely anything was usually a poor decision. Pulling it out of the history section, he opened it to find that it was for the most part, unreadable…at least to him, though that word was often used by Sans to describe books he found boring rather than indecipherable.

He could read it all right, but there were too many names and the sentences at times made him feel as if he were having a conversation with Papyrus during one of the baby’s…odd, moments. Those uncomfortable moments where his little brother would cease his baby-talk, sometimes altogether, and suddenly age in personality, speaking to him clearly with an unmistakable air of authority. It made the comedian even more uncomfortable when he spotted the word “Egypt” several times though he was only on page seven of…Genesis 15:2…?

What kind of a name is that for a chapter?

“You don’t know anything about the Bible OR religion!” Gaster’s angry voice pulled Sans from his thoughts. “You live in a place of SCIENCE and I made sure to keep those kinds of books out of here!” exclaimed the scientist.

The Sans Serif, though curious as to what his brother thought of religion, chose not to say anything in this regard. He could understand his father’s concern. He couldn’t read a lot of the book without falling asleep, but what he did read told him that it was a collection of short stories that went either two ways; people obeyed God’s orders and turned out the better for it, or they didn’t and suffered severe consequences. With one of those orders being believe in the book, he could see how people could use the Bible to control others…how people like his brother could use it to control others. All it would take is one dedicated liar to “translate” it for people too lazy to make their own interpretations. His brother could cause a lot of damage and according to Gaster, some people already had.

Were the witch trials real or did Dad make that up?

“The librarby still gots the bib-el! I go there allll the time to get the knowledge, so I be smart when I gets big. I knows more than half the saints now,” replied the baby bones proudly. “There’s St. Nick, also known as Santa…you know him already Snas.”

Sans snickered and turned his attention to Papyrus. “i do? oh yeah! i heard santa clause was called st. nick at one point, i didn’t know he helped write the bible though…”

I don’t think he’s read it.

“bib-el. Yeah, he wrote it with Jesus and even let his widdle buther St. Stephen help too, cause’ he nice like you~”

“santa has a brother?”

“Yep! They twins like us! He born on December twenty-six dough cause’ of com-pli-cations. He liked to hide things in boxes and pay da’ tricks! He take his buther’s toys and when Santa say ‘where my toys be?’ Stephen go, ‘I don’t know big Buther, where DO your toys be?”

RA-CAKCAKCAK!

Sans turned his head to see Gaster pouring a bottle of aspirin onto the office table near the computer. “stephen doesn’t sound very nice bro, ha ha!”

“Nahhh, he just misunderstood. Like da’ baby. You gots to read between the lines Snas! He hide the toys so when Santa forget about them and open a box, he get all surprised and happy! ‘Wowie! I forgot I hads this! Imma pay wit it all day!’ Then sneak Stephen steal the old BORING toys and hide THEM so they seems new in the footure! Is the perfect plan big Buther…”

“is that where santa got the idea of sending gifts to people in boxes pappy?”

“Sure is! All the saints be amazing Snas. St. Patrick the lepperkahn invented the color gween. He wanted the cover of the bib-el to be gween, but Jesus say no cause’ people might drop it in the grass and lose it. Not a lot of roads in the B.C. era ya’ know?”

“b.c?”

“Before Concrete.”

RATTLE!

“you’re not supposed to take that much dad…”

“St. Valentine be the Saint of Sweets. He had fan trouble like Babybop.”

“she’s…she’s not babybop papyrus. i keep telling you, alphys-”

“Unfortunately, they not have pastic surgery in B.C, that came AFTER concrete, A.C.”

“i thought a.c. meant air conditioning?”

“In history it mean After Concrete. They used to use A.D. After Dinosaurs, but lossa stuff came after dinosaurs, so they changed it.”

“ohhh...gotcha.”

Sans smiled at his little brother. Despite how annoying he could be with his constant lying, the comedian did in fact admire his ability to come up with bullshit on the fly. It made him wonder how useful he’d be if Sans ever were to actually get a job as a comedian. Comedians themselves were supposed to tell stories about things that happened to them in life whilst making funny commentary along the way, but HE was stuck under a mountain and had no close friends other than Papyrus and possibly Alphys. What was Sans even supposed to talk about when NOTHING ever happened to him? Being an Insult Comic was out as he only had 1 hp and was stuck seeing the same people probably for the rest of his life, puns were a spur of the moment thing and were meant to amuse the teller rather than the audience, ventriloquism wasn’t fair and wouldn’t work unless he somehow hide his text box…was he really stuck with just talking about his little brother behind his back? It certainly seemed that way.

Unless Papyrus wants to make something up for me. I’m sure he would, he’s so cool. I hope I make enough G to share with him…

“So St. Valentine? He was REAL popular. He create chalk-wit and eryone lost their minds! Too many hunnies for the chalk-wit bunny.”

“he was a rabbit pappy?”

“Nope, he was Aztec. Had a weird name baby can’t say or spell good. Quetzycoat? Quozzy motto? Dunno, but it suck…glad he move away and change it to Valentine. Moved allll the way to Europe where he met St. Peter the soon-to-be Easter Bunny. It was St. Valentine that made it happen big Buther. All the hunnies follow him saying stuff like ‘be mine, Valentine!’ and ‘give me yo’ heart!’ Not good to say to an Aztec Snas, even dough it mean something else in Europe.”

“what does it mean in aztec bro?”

“I want to remove your heart.”

Sans sockets went dark, but he chose not to say anything.

I’ll have to work with Papyrus to make sure his stories aren’t too dark before I use them.

“St. Peter got realll jealous when he saw erybody giving Valentine attention. So what if he made chalk-wit? He not cute like Peter Rabbit! St. Peter was fluffy as hell! Where was Valentine’s fluff? NOWHERE! Where was his cotton ball tail? ABSENT! HE DIDN’T EVEN APPRECIATE!”

“ugh, damn pap chill!” cried the comedian, pressing his hand against one of his earholes, “you’re not auditioning for a movie, take it down a notch…”

“I just wanted you to understand the rabbit Snas…”

“i understand the rabbit baby bro, don’t you worry.”

“Kay’. So you know why St. Peter had to steal his secrets to making chalk-wit and build his own factory in England then.”

“no…?”

“Is cause’ he was JEALOUS Snas! Daz why. Being a rabbit wasn’t good enough anymore, he had to be a CHALK-WIT rabbit. St. Valentine took it the wrong way dough, he see the factory and think ‘ohhhh, I gets it! If people can get chalk-wit at the store, then I won’t be popular no mores and people will go way! Dis rabbit is so nice. Dis rabbit is my friend.’ He told Jesus all about St. Peter and how nice he was and cause’ of him, he got to be a saint! Peter Rabbit was grateful too, he wasn’t a bad bunny. All he wanted was some infection…”

“affection.”

“Yeah that. Defection. He thought Valentine was being forgiving and stuff, so they became best friends. They shared recipes and gotted famous erywhere!”

“aww, well that’s nice-”

“…Then St. Peter died of the Black Plague and erything started all over again.”

“y-yeah that’s pretty much how all of your stories end. i don’t know what i was expecting.”

Need to work on his endings too.

“Don’t worry big Buther, there be a happiness dis time. St. Valentine eventually moved again and changed his name to Willy Wonka and people stopped trying to marry him. No one want the last name Wonka Snas.”

“heh, well when you’re right you’re right. papyrus wonka doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue now does it?”

“…”

“what?”

“Don’t ship the baby Snas.”

“*pfft!*”

“Another saint you might know be St. Michael.”

“And what holiday is he ripped from?” asked Gaster, finishing off the water he’d taken with his aspirin. Sans had forgotten he was even in the room.

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked confused. “Michael not have a holly-day. You cwazy Daddy, nyeh heh heh!”

“No one here is stupid enough to believe you’re going to just SUDDENLY take this conversation seriously Papyrus. St. Michael might be a real saint, but I know-”

“I’s ALWAYS serious!” exclaimed the infant, interrupting the scientist. “Snas the silly bones, not me! Dis a very serious subject and I’s born to TEACH!”

“That is literally the last thing someone with your font should be doing where religion is concerned.”

“St. Michael and St. Peter were really good friends ya’ know…”

“Don’t you ignore me.”

“They pay basketball together once and saved the world even! He still alive too, even today.”

“is…is he talking about michael jorden?”

“I guarantee you, that’s exactly who he’s talking about.”

“He flies like an eagle.”

“Yep.”

“Yeah! Daddy knows! You watched the docky-mentry right? Where the black human went to da’ center of the earth and-”

“Space Jam was NOT a documentary. It was just a video you happened to find at the Dump. You know, the place I’ve asked you countless times not to go? Admittedly, I didn’t actually watch it as I’m none too fond of guilt films, but the soundtrack alone-”

“th-that wasn’t a ‘guilt film’ dad,” said Sans hiding his face in his hands.

Goddamnit…

“It wasn’t? Are you sure?”

“positive.”

“It wasn’t about a black human attempting to join and fit in with a basketball team comprised of monsters?”

“no.”

“Is about St. Michael helping his rabbit friend ah-scape slavery.”

“So it IS a guilt film.”

“no!”

“Let me guess, the black human was their star player and he was the one to save the day?”

“Yeah!”

“Psh.”

“Erybody wanted to be like Mike, so he gave them some magic water dat made them really good at the basketball.”

“He…gave them something to enhance their performance?”

“it wasn’t drugs dad! it wasn’t even really magic. he was trying to teach them that they had the power to be just as good as him, they just needed to believe in themselves. to put it in a way you’d understand, he used the placebo effect to his advantage.”

“Gazebo?”

“Ah, deceit. Very smart…are you sure Mr. Jordan came up with this? I’m not saying all black humans are unintelligent, but he IS in the sports industry, is he not? You two have amassed quite a collection of discarded sports game videos and upon inspection, I see him playing that particular game a lot. Or at least I think I do.”

Too many shaved heads…why do they have to have shaved heads AND matching uniforms? I may as well be watching my own people…

“maybe…? i don’t actually know. pappy and i usually take the video out as soon as we see it’s another taped sports game,” replied Sans, frowning. It really was disappointing to find a video in good condition, only to realize later that it was just another boring tape of a sport they couldn’t play. Even if the boys knew the rules, the Underground didn’t have many if any big open areas where they could play “basketball” or “football.” Whatever ball they used would just go bouncing off the walls of the caverns or sail into the void/water depending on where they were.

It’s too bad, I bet Undyne would love to play one of these.

Usually when he and his brother found one of these tapes, they’d chuck it into the Boring Corner, a place filled with fitness magazines, letters they had opened that ended up containing junk mail advertising things they didn’t understand, and CDs/records/cassettes Papyrus had SOMEHOW restored and found he didn’t particularly enjoy the content of.

“heh heh heh…”

“What’s so funny big Buther?” asked the baby bones smiling.

“cupcakke.”

The infant’s smile disappeared.

“For once, I’m proud of you two. The sports industry is a money-sucking trash heap of wasted potential. So many of these individuals could have been doctors, teachers, law enforcement, scientists like myself, but they chose a career in playing games that should have been left behind in high school. Disgusting.”

“…I wish to learn how to pay the basketball now.”

“Why, because I specifically asked you not to? Why do you want to intentionally cause trouble?”

“Teach me how to dunkin doughnut.”

Sans giggled, “you wanna learn how to dunk pappy?”

He raised his hand.

“Nyeh?! NO! DADDY, DAAADY! HE DOING IT AGAIN! SNAS USING DA’ FORAAAAAHHHH!!!”

THUNK!

CRISH!

Papyrus sailed into the nearby wall and fell into the wastebin overflowing with papers.

“Excellent control Sans.”

“SCU YOU BABY-ABOOZER! YOU NOT FUNNAAHHHH!!” The enraged baby bones thrashed wildly around in the basket, kicking his legs in an attempt to get out. “IMMA SCRIBBLE IN YO’ BOOKS SNAS! SEE HOW GOOD YOU BE AT WITCHCRAFT THEN!!”

��How DID you manage to do that?”

“IT WAS THE DEVIL! THE DEVIL HELP SNAS!”

“i dunno, i just sorta, did it…i saw pap doing something bad and i accidentally flung him while i was pretending to move him…with my mind,” explained Sans, embarrassed. He knew though, that if he wanted an answer himself, he needed to give as many details as possible.

“Hmm, I see.” Gaster attempted to pull Papyrus out of the wastebin using the same method he’d seen Sans use, but failed. He then tried to use it on the comedian himself, but it also had no result. “Huh, that’s VERY interesting. Moving your brother around as you would an ordinary bone attack, in theory, would mean that almost any skeleton could do the same, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.”

“uhh, we aren’t doing anything wrong dad.”

“You are. Your brother knows he can pull himself out with his wingdings, he’s pretending to be stuck and in turn choosing to be dramatic, attention-seeking, and disruptive. YOU are supposed to be looking after your brother, but instead of helping him out of the wastebin, you’re currently speaking to me. You’re BOTH doing something wrong.” Gaster tried one more time to move both boys. “But it seems even when you’re fully aware of your wrongdoings, this karma-induced attack can’t be done, not by my font at least, or perhaps it has something to do with the soul…PAPYRUS!”

“NYEH!” The baby bones jolted in surprise and tumbled forward, rolling out of the basket in a somersault before coming to a halt at his father’s feet. “Nn…what you want stink Daddy who doesn’t help da’ baby?” asked Papyrus smiling and holding his toes.

“You’re full attention. You are a large part of Sans, so surely you too could perform-”

“IMMA LEARN WITCHCRAFT?!”

“That was NOT your full attention.”

“IMMA LEARN WITCHCRAFT!” The baby bounced up and down excitedly, obviously not hearing his father. “Teach me da’ force big Buther and I will spare yo’ books.”

“*sigh*”

Three hours…that was three hours ago.

“three hours and we didn’t get any answers whatsoever.”

“Hey, dat sounds like me Snas!”

“huh?” Looking down, the young skeleton cringed upon realizing he had spaced out again. “sorry baby bro,” he said, giving his brother an apologetic hug. “i swear i don’t do this on purpose, i really am trying to listen, what’d i miss?”

“You asked about the soul-glow and I say is karma. Karma make your soul really bright and stuff so when you die, God go ‘Ooooh! That’s a pretty soul right there! I wants to add it to my collection’ and then he take you to Heaven and puts you on his shelf.”

“*pfft!* is that right? is that how you get into heaven pappy?”

“Yep! Daz why you gots to be good, so you can be part of the Lord’s house! He gots the coolest house ever big Buther. ERYTHING glow in the dark there! He gots souls floating in lava lamps, he gots souls floating in his waterbed, he even gots souls in his floor Snas! His floor be tiled glass and underneath the glass be a special soul that lights up each widdle square-”

“you’re talking about an LED floor.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“a disco floor.”

“Yep, and If you’re reallll good, like, da’ bestest person ever, you get to be his night light.” The little Horror said this like it was the most amazing thing in the world, then looked around the office in apparent confusion. His daddy slept here all the time, so where was HIS nightlight? Did he use the glow of his computer?

“why are you making him sound like a 70s buff?” asked Sans, interrupting the baby’s train of thought.

“Cause’ he is! I readed it in da’ bib-el.” Crawling towards the bookshelf with the still broken cabinets, Papyrus took out the book, hidden in plain view amongst old tomes Gaster had long since read and forgotten about. The baby would have to remember to hide it again somewhere else later, less his daddy see it while fixing the doors.

“i HIGHLY doubt that’s in there.”

“Nope, it is! Is all true Snas! The Lord all about peace! Hugs not guns, compassion’s in fashion, make love not war, he ALL about the 70s.”

His brother frowned, though he was more worried than annoyed. There were some sensitive people out there and some who were just plain awful when it came to THIS particular topic. He remembered after reading, going to several people to ask for more information and being met with criticism for not reading the whole thing himself, and lectures from monsters about certain passages when all he wanted was a translation. There were even a few who got angry at him for certain questions.

“…a mountain of fire and smoke’ that sounds like a volcano. maybe this really did happen-”

“It did!” said a monster enthusiastically, carrying a bag of groceries from Snowdin. “God stood atop the mountain in the ten commandments story and introduced himself, but it frightened the people down below.”

Suddenly, they jumped upon hearing loud laughter erupt from the child.

“hahahahaha!” The comedian leaned forward, almost spilling the contents of the bag he was helping to carry as the monster gave him an irritated look. “What’s so funny?”

“you probably don’t know what a wrestler is, me and my bro have only seen them on old human videos, but they use pyrotechnics to introduce themselves before a match. it sounds like god was trying to use the volcano to look cool and it backfired, hahaha!”

“GOD WASN’T USING PYROTECHNICS!” shouted the monster, completely offended. “That’s ridiculous! He doesn’t HAVE to try to look cool! HE IS COOL!”

“hey, relax, chill! i’m not saying he isn’t cool, i’m just saying he made a funny mistake. to be honest, it makes him seem more real-”

“GOD DOESN’T MAKE MISTAKES! THAT WASN’T A VOLCANO!”

“then why’d he tell everyone not to come near him? volcanos are deadly, it’d make more sense for him to wanna protect his kids right?”

“Looord, give me the STRENGTH not to smack this skeletal child…!”

Sans had stopped asking questions after that.

It just didn’t seem safe, and it wasn’t safe for Papyrus either.

I can’t let Pappy go around saying the things he’s saying near other people. They aren’t going to CARE that he’s just a baby who doesn’t know any better.

He doesn’t, right?

“you know if some people hear you saying this outside the lab, they’re gonna get upset right, bro?”

“No they won’t!”

“oh no?”

“No. They’s gonna be happy to hear me! People listen and they probly think ‘Wowie! That baby sure is informed about our Lord and savior! If he read the bib-el then he can’t be ALL bad, the bib-el teaches you how to be good! I should be this baby’s friend cause’ they probably a good person.”

“that’s…that’s not what’s going to happen pappy. you’re going to get yelled at.”

“Dat’s why I needs to learn the force big Buther!”

“n-”

“So I can defends myself.”

“…you have enough power papyrus, in fact, you’re OVERpowered, heh heh…”

“…”

“get it? overpowered with pow-”

“I doesn’t get it and I doesn’t WANT to get it. Sides’ Chara say you can never have enough power Snas.”

“isn’t your friend dead though? maybe you shouldn’t be taking life advice from the dead baby bro. just a thought.”

“…”

“…i’m sorry, that was mean-”

Papyrus pushed the Bible towards Sans with his foot. “You need Jesus big Buther.”

The book ended up back at the library.

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #baby papyrus #sans #kid sans #gaster #baby bones #undertale fanfiction #religion #funny

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