#cricket beanie baby

[fuckthispost-andhappybirthday]

August 21: Happy Birthday Cricket (Beanie Babies)!!!!

[beanbagbuddies4life]

Cricket the Cat

via

Born August 21, 2008

A sweet meow that's just for you I save that sound for very few It means I think that you're a dear And I always want to have you near !

[imaginethathaikyuu]

separating

atsumu miya x fem!reader

from this request

featuring: childhood friends to starcrossed lovers, college!au, reader wants to be a hometown teacher, atsumu wants to go pro, history major!atsumu, sports injury, angst, break ups, canon divergent, you and atsumu are lovesick fools, arguments, comfort, i dont know how injuries or college or sports work i’m a theatre kid turned college dropout, i made it up, i made all of it up, 

im back baby 

word count: 6854

-

You were six and Atsumu was seven. The sky was clear, the air had a crisp chill, and the ground underneath you was uncomfortable, but you could lay on that blanket in the grass next to him forever. 

His arm came into your view, pointing up at the sky. 

“Bet you can’t guess what constellation I’m pointing at.” 

You closed one eye, giggling as you looked up his arm toward the end of his finger to find the stars right behind it. 

“The Big Dipper?” 

“Orion’s Belt,” he said. “See it? The three stars in a row?”

“No!” You were laughing and he was scolding you like a parent. 

“It’s right there! It’s staring you right in the face, just look!” 

“I see it! The three stars in a row, I see it.” 

You didn’t see it - you looked and looked for the rest of the night and never found it. But you said you did, anyways, like it was for his sake. 

“You should just make up your own constellations, since you can’t find the real ones.” 

“I can find more than you!” 

“In your dreams!” 

“Whatever - I’ll just let you win so you’ll feel better.” 

You could almost hear the boy pouting as you laughed, and you were being loud enough that the neighbors could hear, but you didn’t care. The whole world felt like yours when you were laying under the stars with him. 

After that it was quiet, all but the crickets chirping and the frogs croaking and the occasional owl’s hoot - so, it wasn’t quiet at all. 

“We should sleep out here every night,” Atsumu said, almost whispering. 

“Every night? Forever? Even when we’re grown up with houses and big beds?” 

“Well, maybe not ‘til then -” 

“We could just make our ceiling a big window. That way we can still see the stars when we’re going to bed.” 

“But I want my own room, I’m not sharing with you.” 

“You have to share!” 

He huffed a breath out loud, “are you gonna be like this forever?” and you laughed. 

“If I know you forever, then, yeah. Are you gonna let me know you forever?” 

“I guess.” 

You lifted your arm up straight in the air, the same way he did when he pointed at the stars, with only your pinky up. 

“Promise?” 

“Ugh.” 

“Promise, or I’ll cry.” 

Even though you were laughing, and you were only trying to annoy him, a part of you was being serious. Because when you’re a kid, forever means something and so do pinky promises. 

“Fine!” 

And he stuck his arm out and wrapped his pinky around yours and squeezed. You looked up and saw your promise in the air surrounded by all of the stars in the sky, and thought of it as your own constellation. One only you could see. 

- // -

It was so cold outside that you felt it in your fingers and your nose, with a burning in your chest to match. Walks home during December were menacing; your boots hurt your feet, your beanie made your forehead itch, and your jacket was too big. 

You hated winter. 

The overcast day made everything seem so muted; even if you wanted to be in a cheery mood, this weather wouldn’t let you. 

But you were finally home, and when you turned up the sidewalk, Atsumu busted through your front door and came running toward you with a piece of paper in each hand. The fact that you didn’t question why he came running out of your home was a testament to your friendship. 

“I got in,” he said, shoving an acceptance letter in your face. “And so did you.” 

Suddenly all the dreams you had felt palpable. You didn’t have to keep whispering your goals like secrets underneath blanket forts - you could take the steps and achieve them. Atsumu could play for a college volleyball team; you could finally get a serious education. 

And that felt like the first day of forever. Two matching letters from Atsumu’s university of choice, the one you’d made a compromise for, is what cemented your next four years with him. 

Four years could feel like forever, if the time drags by slowly enough. 

-

The only time you were confused about your relationship with Atsumu was when somebody else asked you about it. 

“Do you know him?” 

Because it was unspoken. There weren’t words or labels on it - just an invisible chain that kept you tethered to each other. And you didn’t know what to call it - you’d never called it anything. 

The girl next to you gestured to the boy in the other room, who stood with a ping pong ball in his hand. 

You played ignorant. “Who? The blond?” 

She giggled and nodded. “Atsumu?” 

You shrugged, not really knowing what to say, because you had shown up to this party with the boy and you still hadn’t gotten used to no longer having the high school reputation of being together.  

“We’re friends,” you said. 

Atsumu was your best friend and you always thought that was enough. To you, it was. But friends ask questions and family pushes into your business and you never have answers that satisfy, because there wasn’t an answer to give. 

And you wished he was there now, because you weren’t good at sitting on couches surrounded by faces you didn’t know. For some reason at parties like these there were always separate groups - girls in the living room with their drinks and the gossip, boys in the kitchen with the beer pong and their arguments. You never knew most of the party but usually got drunk enough to tell them all you loved them by the end of the night, although the alcohol wasn’t helping how awkward you felt tonight. 

You sat in silence with the girl who was on her phone, looking around the room that was casted in a purple glow. Music you didn’t like was blasting from a TV mounted on the wall and someone’s dog was sitting at your feet and your drink was getting warm in the bottle and you felt like you were all by yourself. 

Red light was pouring from the kitchen and you stared at Atsumu who was bathed in it. He’d thrown and missed his shot in the time you were mulling over being alone. 

“You’re all over his Instagram,” your party friend said. “Like, in every picture. Are you with him?” 

“We grew up together, we’re like - friends, good friends.” 

She laughed at your rehearsed response. “Are you getting it or not?” 

And you laughed with her because you felt like you had to. “No, god no, stop.”

 Her next question was interrupted by someone calling your name, and you snapped your head towards it and nearly ran to the one it came from. 

“Let’s play,” Atsumu said when you stepped foot in the room. He took your hand and placed a ping pong ball in it. “We’re gonna smoke Aran and his girlfriend.”

“You know I hate playing with you.” 

“Come on, babe, just one game.” 

One game always turned into half a dozen, and Atsumu was always too competitive for it to be fun. 

But you would play anyway. And Atsumu wouldn’t bother waiting for your response before getting the first round going.  

“You ready to lose to my girl, Aran?” 

-

Were you friends? Were you more than that? Were you somewhere in the middle? 

The answer to all of those questions was yes and no. 

It felt like a secret you were keeping. A relationship that was only yours, that confused everybody else. 

Atsumu once called you his security blanket. And it made you laugh, but you understood what he meant. He was an anchor. Something strong to hold you up. That’s what he was. 

Even after you started holding hands in secret, or when he became your first kiss because you were too scared to kiss anybody else, he stayed your best friend. You never thought about it any more than that. 

That’s why you did everything together, because you couldn’t imagine doing anything without him. Life was easier when you weren’t doing it alone, and having him around seemed to make university life manageable. 

While your first year was a lot of parties and adjustment, the second year brought talks about the future and a side to Atsumu you hadn’t seen before.  

Atsumu was an achiever. He’d get whatever he wanted and he would make it look easy. And whenever he told you about all of his big dreams, you told him that you believed in him, because you did. So maybe you were stupid for thinking that college would be forever. 

It was late at night, too late for someone with class in the morning to still be awake, but Atsumu kept you up. 

He’d been sleeping in your bed more often. He claimed it was more comfortable than his own - you knew he was lying, but you didn’t question it. Just like you didn’t question the way his chest was pressed to your back every morning. 

That’s where he was now. “I gotta start planning, babe,” he said. There was still too much space between your bodies but you didn’t move to change it. 

“Planning for what?” you asked with a laugh. 

“The future,” he said. “Like - I’m pretty sure I’ll make a Division 1 team, but that’s not the goal, right? I could play for the Olympics one day, if I play my cards right, but - I mean, I don’t even know how I’m gonna get there. It’s not like there’s a map to follow. The coach from the Tokyo team has been scouting, so I guess that’s a good direction to go…” 

He spoke candidly, almost like nobody was listening. Like he was treating this conversation as a diary entry. It was the same way he spoke about his dreams of the future when you were kids.  

He turned his head and looked over at you. “What’re you gonna do?” 

You shrugged, and you tried holding back the smile that was growing on your face. “I dunno, Atsumu. I… think I wanna go back home.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah,” you said. “Maybe I’ll teach at an elementary school at home. I think I would like that.” 

He pouted a little at that, and all of his thoughts were written on his face. 

“You don’t wanna follow me to Tokyo?” 

“You could follow me,” you laughed. He laughed too, and the conversation ended there when you scooted close to him. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and he pulled you in. 

“I gotta stop thinking so much. It’s bad for my head.”  

But he picked the conversation back up a few days later, as if he had just thought of something to say in response to your made up plans for your future. 

“I just think you should try to do more,” he said. You were both walking home from his volleyball practice. 

“What do you mean?” 

“More than going back home and being a teacher.” He pulled his backpack higher on his shoulder. “I mean, don’t you wanna move somewhere cool? Have a big life? Be a little spontaneous?” 

“What made you think I wanted any of those things?” 

“I don’t know.” He looked over at you and you couldn’t decipher the look he gave. “We’ve only got a couple years left. I guess, I just thought…” 

You waited for him to continue, and sometime in the silence your hand latched onto his out of habit. 

“I just think you’re capable of more, is all.” 

You shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, I know I could do a lot of things. But maybe I want something comfortable. And I’ve become more passionate about teaching than I thought I would - I think it would make me happy. I know it will.” 

“You could be a teacher anywhere, though.” 

You had a feeling you understood what he meant. 

But this isn’t something you could compromise on. You wouldn’t make this decision on impulse; you weren’t going to follow him to a city you didn’t want to go to. 

Your goals weren’t as grand as his, but they were still yours. 

You stepped closer to him, knocking your shoulders together. “I want to go home. I wanna be with my family - I want to have a classroom full of my friend’s kids one day. I don’t want something cool or spontaneous.” 

Then he pulled you even closer, and your footsteps got caught up with his. It was an awkward walk but you were comfortable being pressed into him. 

“Then you should do that. I was just making sure you knew what you wanted, that’s all. If that’s what you want… go for it, babe.” 

-

For the first time you saw a life on the horizon that didn’t have Atsumu in it, and you weren’t sure how you should feel about it. Atsumu had always been in the picture - nothing ever felt right without him. 

Maybe it was that familiar comfort that brought the two of you so close. But as you got older that simplicity waned and in its place grew something more; it was intimate and flirtatious and free. 

And it wasn’t innocent, it wasn’t pure. It landed somewhere close to romance but not quite. 

You let him flirt with you because it felt natural until you started to like it too much. Unspoken emotions rushed in all at once - ones you shouldn’t be feeling toward a friend. 

But he wasn’t just a friend. Both of you knew that. 

And he wasn’t yours. Both of you knew that, too. 

The more you thought about it, the more you hated all the time you had wasted. If you had known that things would work out this way - that Atsumu would be taking his path and you would be taking your own - you would have done everything differently. You wouldn’t be so content with being just friends who flirt and hold hands and sleep in the same bed. 

And maybe you should have realized earlier that you were never really just friends with Atsumu. Your friendship was nothing more than the foundation for every risky thought you had about the boy. And everyone but you could see it. 

Maybe what you were doing was intentional, and maybe you were seeking affection from him in your own secret ways, but did either of those things give you a right to be jealous? 

When you saw him at a party with his hands on someone else’s hips, were you allowed to be angry about it? 

You weren’t sure, but fury didn’t ask your permission to cloud your judgment, and tears welled in your eyes before you could tell them not to. 

You were coming to terms with your own feelings, having wars in your mind over how to love him in a way that felt normal, and Atsumu didn’t even know. He wasn’t technically doing anything wrong because you weren’t his to take care of. 

Even if he did sleep next to you every night. 

And you didn’t want to be at that party anymore. And you didn’t want anything to change between you and your best friend, but your heart had made up its mind. 

But there was only one way home and it was through him. For all he knew you were in the kitchen making the party yours - he had no idea you were across the room from him boiling in your own pitiful anger. 

You could walk up to him and interrupt his good time and face him with your tears and shaky hands. Or, you could go outside, sit on the stoop, and let yourself be alone until he found you. 

You chose the latter. 

Stray tears were wiped away and you didn’t let any more follow. It was childish to cry; it was immature to be angry. You couldn’t even be honest with him, so how could you be so jealous without being ashamed? How could you blame him when he had only gone along with your silence? 

You could tell him the truth, or you could regret holding it in forever. 

By the time he found you out in the cold, you still hadn’t made up your mind, but you decided you still had time.

-

 It was one of the last volleyball games of Atsumu’s sophomore season. 

You watched from the stands, eyes trained on the only person on the court who mattered to you, as Atsumu fell onto the glossy gym floor and didn’t get back up. 

It happened so fast that you missed it, and when more than a few seconds passed you stood up and yelled his name along with the shouting crowd. 

His team crowded him, the coach rushed in, and all you could do was watch. Someone rolled him onto his back. He was holding his right arm to his chest and you swore his hand shouldn’t be bending in that direction when medics ran over and blocked your view. 

Your heart was in your throat for the rest of the night. Doctors and x-rays and casts; silence from Atsumu, pestering questions from you, and calls to family. You didn’t relax until you got him back to your apartment. 

When he breathed another deep sigh, you finally asked if he was okay. 

“Just want to shower,” he said. His words sounded clipped. 

“I’ll have to put your arm in a grocery bag or something.” 

“I can do it myself.” 

“Just let me help.” You were as insistent as you always were. “But I’m not giving you a bath, so you have to fend for yourself in there.” 

He didn’t laugh at your joke. You weren’t expecting him to. 

“You’ll be fine, Atsumu, you heard the doctors,” you called from the kitchen, “in six weeks you’ll be in physical therapy. It was the end of the season, anyway. You’ll be playing again in a couple of months.” 

You caught him rolling his eyes. “You don’t understand how much every game and practice matters. You aren’t under the same pressure as me. You don’t get it.” 

“Well, I’m sure there’s always a bedroom back home for you. Could use that degree you're getting, History Major.” 

He didn’t like hearing that. 

“Right. That’s what everyone expects, that nothing will work out for me - is that what you think, too?” 

You shrugged, “Would that really be so bad?” You didn’t know you were walking on thin ice, but you should’ve.

He sat a little bit straighter and looked at you hard. “Yes. It would.” 

“I just think you’d be fine if you didn’t end up going pro -” 

“That’s what you think,” he said, almost calm before his voice raised, “but I’m not like you. I don’t have to settle for that fucking town. I don’t want to go back there and do nothing with my life like everyone else - don’t tell me what I’d be fine doing. You don’t get it.” 

And you didn’t know what to say to that. You wanted to bite back - you had venom on the tip of your tongue. You knew the right words, how to dig deep enough to scar. 

This is the first time it had really sunk in that all of Atsumu’s goals weren’t just pipedreams. He wanted something and he didn’t need your help getting it.

That, maybe, he thought less of you for your hometown goals. For not striving for more.  

All the spoonfuls of sugar in the world wouldn’t help you swallow that.

You could hurt him back by saying something you didn’t mean, and maybe it would make you feel better, but it wouldn’t take away the truth. It wouldn’t make Atsumu stay with you after graduation. It wouldn’t make everything he said a lie. 

You held it in because you had to. Even though you knew how to hurt him, even though you had a selfish need to hit him back, even though you wanted to lash out. You held it in. 

“Just - fucking… put your arm in the bag and go shower.” 

You wrapped his cast with the plastic bag and lots of tape in edgy silence. Then he went into the bathroom, and you sat outside of the door in case he called out for help. He didn’t. 

-

His wrist ended up being fine. But you weren’t; months later, you were still reeling over that argument you had with him. 

It was the proof you needed to pull yourself out of your head. 

In two years, when you and Atsumu graduate, he’s going to Tokyo. And you aren’t. 

You wondered what it would be like to follow him into succeeding his goals. Even though you thought it would be hard to say no, it was an easy decision to make. 

You had a life you wanted to live, and so did he. But those lives weren’t the same - they were nearly opposites.

And you’d do anything he’d ask like it was doing yourself a favor. He knew it, too. But you wouldn’t drop your map to follow his. Even if all you wanted was a small life in comparison, it was still yours. 

But you still had time to let yourself answer to his call. 

Tonight, though, you were drinking because you wanted to. And you’d roped him into opening a bottle because you didn’t want to drink alone, because it was the weekend and the third year of university was busting your asses. 

So you sat on the floor in your small apartment kitchen and drank from the same bottle of the corner store’s cheapest wine. When your hand fell into his it was an accident; when your legs became tangled it was on purpose. 

Atsumu played a playlist you made for him while you were still in highschool, and it was quiet all but the music. It looked like a sad picture, but it wasn’t - it was comfortable. It was fun and simple and secure, and you’d love it if you never had to leave. 

“What’s got you in this mood tonight?” he finally asked, with his head thrown back against the cabinet behind him and the wine bottle in his lap. 

“Nothing,” you replied, honest. “Just want to be here with you.” 

“Yeah?” He looked down at you, his face much closer than you remembered it being. You nodded and he tilted his chin up towards you, and you watched a smile grow on his face. “I wanna be here with you too.” 

You couldn’t look at him for too long without getting a strain in your throat, and you blamed the wine for it. 

But there were thoughts you couldn’t shake, that you needed to get out. 

“Do you really think,” you started, laying your head on his shoulder as you cleared your throat and tried again, “Do you really think I’m… doing nothing with my life, by going back home?” 

His posture straightened a bit at that. 

“No,” he said. “Of course I don’t think that. About everyone else there, maybe, but not you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, babe.” He squeezed your hand, shook it a bit. “I just want you to be happy, baby, that’s it.”

You decided you liked his answer. It didn’t wash away any of your self doubt but it was good enough to drop the conversation in favor of taking another drink. 

You sat like that for what could have been too long until you moved closer. Maybe it was the wine, or the simmering envy you never could shake, or the ticking fear of regret - it was probably all three that had you leaning in close and waiting to see what he would do. 

Your noses brushed. You were breathing the same air, nervous shallow breaths that didn’t fill your lungs, blinking slow because you could hardly keep your eyes open. You wanted to keep looking at him but your eyes closed on instinct. 

He said your name then nothing else. For just a second, he hesitated, kept you waiting, and then he fell slow into a crashing kiss. One that tasted bittersweet, like the alcohol in the wine. 

He pulled away and asked, “You okay?” and instead of answering you kissed him again. You put your hand on his jaw and held him there so you could kiss him slow and soft for as long as you wanted because he was letting you. 

You had kissed him before, but never like this. It was always a dare - it was never spontaneous. Despite years of flirting, touching, and pining, neither of you had ever made a move like this. 

You let yourself mumble truths against his lips, things you’d only ever said in your head now falling onto his ears. And he said his own right back. 

Emotion flooded in and washed away any tension. “I just want to be with you,” you said. You had his shirt in your fist, you had tears in your eyes. 

“You’re with me,” he said with a bit of a laugh. “I’m all yours.” 

“For now.” 

You hoped he understood what you meant; he did. 

“Yeah. We’ll make the most of it, then. Don’t think about anything else.” He took your hand and pulled it from its grip on his shirt, bringing it to his lips. “You just have to think about now.” 

“It’s not that easy.” 

“It could be,” he said. “I’ll keep you distracted.” He wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you close. 

“I should’ve told you.” 

“I already knew.” 

He kissed you again, quick, just because he could. You shook your head as if it would make the way you felt go away. 

“This is never going to work, is it?” 

Atsumu didn’t reply. 

“Because you’re going to Tokyo, and I’m not.” Your words had an unintentional bite. “It would be stupid to… to start dating now.” 

“Yeah.” 

His eyes held yours inside of them; neither of you moved to separate, both of you stayed trying to forget the words you’d said. 

It was easier to forget. Because you still had time. 

When you kissed again it was like two magnets attaching to each other. You kissed him and drank the wine until it was gone, until he pulled you onto your feet and into your room, and he slept next to you the same as always. 

The next morning, you asked him to kiss you again. He did. 

-

You had failed to make any relationship official with Atsumu - the two of you always favored unspoken rules. 

But you had taken a liking to where you were now. A place where you could do anything you wanted with him, where he was yours and you were his and that was all that mattered. 

You knew it wouldn’t be this way forever and that’s why you savored it so much. 

It was hard not to get lost when seemingly everyone you knew was living a life you couldn’t - not currently, at least. All of your friends were engaged or pregnant or both, marking their futures before they could even see graduation, and jealousy settled deep in your stomach. 

You didn’t want to be married. And you definitely didn’t want to have a child. But watching blooming relationships made you all too aware that what you had in your future was a break up. A broken heart. What you had now was fleeting. 

You wanted permanence more than you had ever wanted anything. 

And Atsumu had to remind you often that despite all of that, what you had now was real and it was worth it. It was hard to see it but he showed you; with his words and his lips and his heart. 

“You’ll have me forever,” he told you, one morning when you decided to blow off class to stay with him. He had pressed you into the bed and had every intention of keeping you there. “I’d pull my heart out of my chest and give it to you if I could.” 

“Normal boyfriends give rings, you know.” 

He grinned wild, because you had never used that word before - never called him your boyfriend. You could tell he liked it. 

“I’m not a normal boyfriend, I guess.” 

-

You had never been this nervous walking into a room of people you didn’t know. 

Atsumu had invited you to a sports banquet, because he couldn’t be the only one without a date on his hip. He wore all black and insisted you dressed to match; you felt good until you stepped into a stuffy conference room in your university’s sports building - a room you didn’t even know existed. 

Atsumu stood tall. You tried your best to do the same, even though you were tripping on your high heels and pulling your hair out of your lip gloss every five minutes. 

This celebration marked the end of Atsumu’s final college season, one that he led as team captain. And it was obvious that he was the man of the hour when he walked in. 

Every conversation was interrupted by cheers, starting from his teammates then spreading to everyone else in the room. Claps and shouts and whistles all for the man at your side, and you couldn’t help cheering along when you saw the blush on his cheeks. 

You let yourself forget about your nerves just long enough to feel proud of him. He smiled in a way he couldn’t hold back - in a way that told you he was proud of himself. 

When he became surrounded by a group of his friends and teammates you found yourself being pushed away - not by him, but by the atmosphere itself. You didn’t know how to share a spotlight that was all his, and you didn’t want to. 

You were on the outside looking in. Looking at this man who used to be a boy in your backyard, who you knew to be clever and loud and sparkling. You always knew he was the life of the party but you had never seen him so… polished. Shaking hands and sharing polite compliments as if it was his job, even with ones who were his friends. 

There were important people here tonight. People he was putting on a mask for. 

And you felt selfish all of a sudden, because you knew him better than any of these people here. You loved him more than all of them combined. Atsumu didn’t have to hide any part of himself from you. Why would he choose this life over you? Did he love this sport more than he could ever love you? 

Maybe you were selfish. And maybe you should stop being so greedy and give up a part of yourself so you could be with him, the same as Aran’s fiance had done. Maybe you should be his cheerleader and nothing else. 

But you didn’t belong in this room. The men in suits who were lined up to offer Atsumu contracts, money, fame - would laugh if they saw you standing next to him. Because your dress didn’t fit right, and you didn’t have a ring on your finger, and you weren’t Atsumu’s cheerleader. 

And everything you had come to terms with was bubbling back up, threatening to poison your entire mind. That’s how you knew you could cry about this forever and still not be over it. And every selfish part of you hoped that he would feel the same way. 

You were pulled out of your own thoughts when an arm came around your waist like a hook. Atsumu pulled you into his chest, the infectious remnants of a smile left on his face, looking at you like he knew every thought in your head. 

“Told you not to go too far,” he said. That’s when you remembered why he had brought you. “I’m sweating bullets over here, you know.” 

You took a deep breath. His smile rubbed off on you. Your emotions seemed to melt away on their own. 

Another deep breath, then, “Did you forget deodorant?” A joke you knew he’d believe. 

“Did you let me -” 

“Kidding.” You straightened his tie and laughed a bit too loud at the look on his face. He rolled his eyes. “You smell like a star athlete to me.” 

“I told you to be normal, too.”

You shrugged, “You get what you pay for, babe.” 

He took your hand and began pulling you toward the dinner tables, until the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him made him spin on his heels. He knew who it was just from the sound, and squeezed your hand hard enough to hurt. 

You busied yourself trying to loosen his fingers from their grip, and you didn’t look up at the person until they coughed again. 

It was his head coach. You had never met the man officially - you only knew what you had heard about him. He was an old man of few words. The kind of person who didn’t have to raise their voice to be intimidating; his players could see the disappointment written on his face, could feel his anger in the sound of his footsteps. And he was someone Atsumu would do anything to impress - he was responsible for all the growth he’s had as a player. 

He stood stiff, almost nervous, like he was in a lineup, waiting for his coach to speak - waiting to see if he even would. 

“I’m proud of you, son.” 

You heard Atsumu’s deep breathing go quiet. He bowed his head at the man and didn’t look back up until he walked away. 

You didn’t know for sure, but you had a feeling Atsumu had been waiting a long time to hear those words. 

-

Atsumu was graduating early. 

He needed to in order to join the professional team he’d gotten drafted into - they wanted him in practices as soon as possible. 

It was hard to be anything but proud of him despite your time together dwindling down to only a couple more weeks. And you let yourself get lost in celebrating him, lost in watching him live a dream, until your head hit the pillow every night and you were burying reality. 

You were pretending to be asleep now, suppressing every negative thought that crept in. But Atsumu knew you were awake. 

He scooted up real close, pressing his chest tight against your back and tucking his chin on your shoulder. 

“Got my schedule today,” he mumbled. You didn’t want to hear what he’d say next. “First practice is the first of the month. I’ll be moving into the new place a week before.” 

You didn’t know what to say. You wondered what you would say if this didn’t mark the end of your relationship - no words came to you. 

He dropped a kiss on your shoulder. “We could… try long distance.” 

You rolled over to face him. A tight throat and watery eyes gave away how you felt about his offer. 

“I know,” he whispered, a sarcastic huff following his voice. “I know, it’s just… just an idea.” 

“Atsumu.” 

“Isn’t it - isn’t it worth trying? Shouldn’t we, at least?” 

“What if it only makes it hurt more?” 

He sighed, “What if it doesn’t?” 

And you had to shake your head and pull away from him just enough to put your thoughts together. “I don’t want to end this hating you, Atsumu, I - I want it to stay good.” 

It was quiet for a moment. “Yeah,” he said after too long. You hoped he would say more, something to make everything easier, but you knew he couldn’t. It wouldn’t get any easier - only harder, only worse. 

Maybe you would have had a better time swallowing the long-brewed regret. If you wouldn’t have taken the leap you wouldn’t have to crash into the ground below. You could have moved on, gotten over what was once a crush but is now a burning love. 

You moved into him until he fell onto his back and you laid on his chest. And you pushed your tears back and swallowed the lump in your throat and said the only thing you knew was true. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

It hurt to say it, because those words brought a separation that both of you would heal from, even if you didn’t want to. 

“I know.” 

You tried to joke, “You’ll forget all about me when you’re big and famous. Don’t worry.” 

“Don’t say that,” he said, “that’s not true.” 

You cuddled into his neck, “I know.” 

“We’ll still be friends. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.” 

“I know.” 

“It’s not like I’m dying.” 

“I know.” 

“It’ll be alright.” 

You let his words hang in the air, simmering, ringing in your mind until you believed them. Until the silence was comfortable. Then you lifted your head and looked at him; he looked back at you. 

“I’m proud of you, Atsumu.” 

He smiled. “I’m proud of you, too.” His thumb traced your bottom lip. “As long as you make it to graduation.” 

“As long as you aren’t warming the bench,” you said before snapping to bite his finger; he laughed and pulled it away. 

“Take that back,” he pouted, shaking your shoulder and squinting his eyes. 

“I meant it!” 

“You’re mean. We’re breaking up and you’re being mean!” 

You shouldn’t have laughed, not when his words hit like a truck, but you couldn’t help it. “It’s out of love, baby.” 

“So you love me?” He was teasing. 

“Yeah.” 

“I love you too.” He meant it, and you could have cried, and he would have said it again just to tease you for being so emotional. 

You squeezed his shoulder as if that was enough of a response, and for him it was. 

Then, he said, “Thank you for getting me here. And for being proud. And for going back home even though I want you to come with me. I’m proud of you, I love you.” 

And you knew, despite this mutual heartbreak and the longing for him that would never go away, that regret would have been worse. You would have chosen this path a hundred times if given the chance, because you loved him and you were loved by him, and you could never regret the jump you took. The fall before the end was worth it. 

[deepdeanvsweston]

I give you sports headcannons - mix of modern au and canon era (I was on wikipedia for like 45 minutes looking at sports)

Daisy:

- horsegirl Daisy

- absolutely used to pretend to be a horse on the playground

- she's never competed though she's just really good at riding horses

- obviously also good at parkour

- forever giving the maids a heart attack as a child by sitting atop of tall cabinets she'd climbed and saying boo

- decent at swimming and did a few swimming galas Yr7 - Yr8, but her love for it died out after DSS

George:

- he was a baby who cried a lot and so his mother used to take him on runs with her to calm him down

- this has stayed with him and he goes running before breakfast a lot

- has a lot of pent up energy that helps with endurance when running

- Lavinia often goes running with him

- really good at dancing, like waltzing and such, likes knowing the steps and finds it reassuring

- also really love the idea of figure skater or ballet dancer George

Aleks:

- Doesn't do it anymore, but had a scooter as a little boy and was revered by other 7 year olds because he could do cool tricks with it

- lowkey wants to get back into it except he's too tall for a scooter now

- can fence (his father made him and his brother learn)

- I can't decide if he's shit at sports or absolutely brilliant at them

- if we're saying he's good at sports, I imagine he's Weston School's sporty golden boy

- does triathlon and on the cricket team

- (Hazel always goes bright red when he's in his cricket uniform)

Hazel:

- bad at agility strength so she's shit at parkour (dw Hazel we all know George had to give you that shove over a wall in Case Of The Missing Treasure)

- but she's really good at standing her ground???

- she's really good at contact sport she just doesn't like them

- Lavinia reckons she'd be pretty good at lacrosse

- on the reserve hockey team, despite protests

- she actually gets into roller derby and her name is 2 Rights Don't Make A Wong

- Daisy ALWAYS cheers the loudest at her games

Lavinia:

- canonically good at tennis

- she pretty much sticks to tennis, she thinks 'why work on others when I could work on one sport and just get really good at it'

- she goes running with George like I said though

- it's a good warmup for tennis, and she doesn't have to think about much when doing it

- always fancied doing something like wrestling or boxing though

Kitty:

- always finding some unusual fitness class to go to (and drag Beanie along with her)

- think aerial hoops, or aquacise

- she can never stick with them for long though

- she hates getting sweaty, or muddy, or pushed over so despises sports at Deepdean

- but joins a synchronised swimming club and is actually getting really good at it, and really enjoys it

- especially the fact that looking pretty and presentable is like half the whole thing

Beanie:

- goes to all Kitty's unusual fitness classes like I said

- neutral on them, goes just to hang with Kitty

- like Daisy, good at horseriding, used to do a few dressage competitions as a teen

- did ballet as a toddler, sort of misses the baby classes where all you had to do was point your toes and you didn't have to think about the next steps or balancing or anything like that

[littlejazzy]

(*this can be either a Child's Play/Charles Lee Ray to Chucky the Good Guy Doll situation or a Toy Story/You're Simply a Living Toy situation)

the brands listed are just to give the idea of the category, feel free to disregard brands all together when choosing/make-up the type of toy you'd be! put it in the tags!

[my-plastic-life]

Happy 25th anniversary to one of my all-time favorite Disney movies/princesses, Mulan!

Twenty-five years ago today (June 19, 1998), the classic Disney movie based on the Chinese poem/legend of Hua Mulan began playing in theaters. Next to Ariel, Mulan is my favorite Disney princess. So I came prepared for this milestone!

Yin and yang:

Checking on Father before heading to town, with the help of Little Brother:

Bring honor to us all:

With her blossom comb, beads of jade for beauty, and a cricket for luck, Mulan is ready to meet the Matchmaker:

“When will my reflection show who I am inside?”

A Daughter’s Decision:

A loyal sidekick and dependable friend. One of my favorite parts of the movie was always Mushu. I still have my plush Beanie Baby of him that talked (he doesn’t anymore after all these years) that I took with me to Colorado, Branson, and everywhere else we went that summer.

Time To Train:

Caught!

A  Hero’s Return:

I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane. Yes, I have multiple dolls of Mulan in different looks and outfits. Why? So I don’t have to change the hair all the time. :D And did I get a duplicate one just to cut her hair? Yes, yes I did. muhahahaha

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

I'm personally excited to see Beanie Baby zombie apocalypse x2, Interplanetary Cricket World Cup, and Regional Plumbing Convention

the fact that morty has a whole bunch of pages full of ideas of stuff to do with rick is the actual cutest thing ever

[pan-fried-autism]

10 for the organic kids and Ferrel and Cuddles's kids

Mouse: at least one of those General relativity/quantum physics for babies books (as a little kid)

Cricket: fidget spinners

Allie: baby teething ring thingies

Minnie: Grem /j

Marnie: nothing, really

Cotton: this one little beanie baby thing. looks like a polar bear.

[circus-babbles]

[ This story is about when Ennard's crush on Baby started! This is part 1 of 2, I’ll post part 2 in a second, but excuse how long this is. Some mentions before you read: This takes place before Ennard & Baby dated, clearly, yes they shared a room at their old house, Baby had her own room, but hated sleeping alone due to nightmares, so later on she started sharing a room with Ennard & I think that’s all I need to mention, enjoy! ^^ ]

Back when Baby & her friends still lived in their old house back in Iowa, they loved going outside, all of them! Didn’t matter the time of day, they loved being outside!

Well, that never changed as they got older honestly, they still loved the outdoors, especially Baby. As a kid, the outdoors were her greatest escape from the ab/sive indoors of that woman's house.

Well, cut to 2 days after Baby's 18th birthday. She was outside, staring up at the stars, nice cozy, but thin jacket & sitting on the back of Ennard's car. A few minutes later, Ennard came outside, checking to see if she was out there since it was 9PM & noticed her sitting on his car. He softly smiled & sneaked up on her, seeing what she was up to at this hour of the night.

Ennard: Whatcha doing out here so late?

Baby jumped & gasped loudly, getting spooked by Ennard's random encounter. She turned to where the voice came from & realized it was only Ennard, which made her sigh in relief.

Baby: Nardy! Don't scare me like that, you dummy!

Ennard: *laughs* Sorry, I was not trying to on purpose, I promise, but why out here so late?

Baby: Ah, just..relaxing. I love the breezy autumn nights. So quiet & peaceful, just me & my imagination running free.

Ennard: Sounds very nice. May I join you?

Baby: *smiles* Of course you can! Come sit with me. ^^

She scooted over to her right & patted the spot on the car next to her, inviting Ennard to sit beside her on his car, so he hopped up & sat next to her.

Ennard: Why did you decide to sit on my car of all places?

Baby: Oh! Uh..heh..I like sitting on Yenndo's car when I come out here, but his is parked in the garage, so I sat on yours instead, hope that doesn't bother you!

Ennard: Not at all, just was curious is all.

He looked up at the sky & understood why Baby was out here at such a late hour by herself. No screaming kids, or people walking by, almost no cars driving by, just the breeze shaking the trees a bit & crickets chirping. It was peaceful.

Ennard: Soo..what do you normally think about out here?

Baby: It depends on the day honestly. Sometimes I think about old memories, sometimes I think about things I wish would happen, sometimes I even think about the what ifs on certain situations, just depends on my mood.

Ennard: Huh, interesting.

Then a question came to mind, which made him smirk.

Ennard: Do you ever have anyone special cross your mind while out here?~

Baby's face got slightly flustered by his flirty tone & his words.

Baby: Wh-what do you mean by that?

Ennard: Hmm..maybe someone like..a crush?~

Baby: WHAT?! N-no, o-of course not!! I don't have a crush!! Hahahaha..haha..eh..>\\\\\<

Ennard: *laughs* I just teasing Бейби, no worries.

Baby put her beanie hat over her eyes & cheeks to hide her embarrassed face from him, but he slowly lifted it back up & laughed, which made her giggle too. Once they stopped laughing, they began to gaze into each other's eyes for a good minute before backing away a bit, now both were flustered.

Ennard: S-sorry for staring for so long, got distracted..[ on her beautiful green eyes & her sweet face..]

Baby: I-I-it's okay!! S-sorry too, I-I was a bit distracted as well..[ on his adorable smile & sparkling blue eyes..]

They sat there for a moment in awkward silence before Baby shivered. Ennard noticed Baby's random jolt out of nowhere & chuckled.

Ennard: Cold?

Baby: A little..should've grabbed a thicker jacket.

Ennard: Here, give me a moment.

He began to unzip his jacket & handed it to Baby. She stared for a second before asking,

Baby: Wait, wh-what about you? Won’t you get cold Nardy?

Ennard: *chuckles softly* Do not worry about me, I not get cold easily.

Baby: Are you sure..?

Ennard: *nods* Take it, пожалуйста…I mean..please.

So, she carefully grabbed his jacket & put it on. It was pretty warm, considering Ennard was just wearing it & it..was also really big on her since she was so short.

Baby: It's..a little big. *giggles*

Ennard: *laughs* A little?! Your arms are so short compared to mine!

Baby: Hey! Not everyone can be over 6 feet tall, you giant!

Ennard: Not my fault you're short! 4'10, was it?

Baby: *laughs* Oh shut up, I'm not short, I'm fun sized!

Ennard: *laughs* Ок fine, shorty~

They talked & laughed for quite a while before Ennard finally checked his phone for the time.

[moderarato]

oc aesthetics. 

thanks to the lovely @solarisrenbeth​​ for tagging me in this oc aesthetics challenge!!! I’ve been in desperate need of inspiration, so I made a messy moodboard to go along with it. tagging @nerdferatum​, @sailorpleiades​ @follies-fixture​, @notasdryapricots​, and @ariendiel​​ (if ya want to, no pressure as always <3)

ESTE [she/her, LITG + Body Count] 

highest aesthetics score: Light - Incandescent Bulbs | Body Language - Insecurity & Anxiety | Sense - Touch

— LIGHT SOURCES

SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.

INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.

STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.

CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.

MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense.

AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.

FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, Heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.

— BODY LANGUAGE

DEFENSIVENESS. arms crossed on chest, crossing legs, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, karate chops, stiffening of shoulders, tense posture, curling of lip, baring of teeth.

REFLECTIVE. hand-to-face gestures, head tilted, stroking chin, peering over glasses, taking glasses off; cleaning, putting earpiece of glasses in mouth, pipe smoker gestures, putting hand to bridge of nose, pursed lips, knitted brows.

SUSPICION. arms crossed, sideways glance, touching or rubbing nose, rubbing eyes, hands resting on weapon, brows raising, lips pressing into a thin line, strict, unwavering eye contact, wrinkling of nose, narrowed eyes.

CONFIDENCE. hands behind back, hands on lapels of coat, steepled hands, baring teeth in a grin, rolling shoulders, tipping head back but maintaining eye contact, chest puffed up, shoulders back, arms folded just above navel, wide eyes, standing akimbo.

INSECURITY & ANXIETY. chewing pen or pencil, rubbing thumb over opposite thumb, biting fingernails, biting lips, hands in pockets, elbow bent, closed gestures, clearing throat, “whew” sound, picking or pinching flesh, fidgeting in chair, hand covering mouth whilst speaking, poor eye contact, tugging pants whilst seated, jingling money in pockets, tugging at ear, perspiring hands, playing with hair, swaying, playing with pointer; marker; cane, smacking lips, sighing, rocking on balls of feet, flexing or cracking fingers sporadically, leg bouncing.

ANGER & FRUSTRATION. short breaths, “tsk” sounds, tightly-clenched hands, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, rubbing hand through hair, rubbing back of neck, snarling, revealing teeth, grimacing, sharp-eye glowers, notable tension in brow, shoulders back, head up; defensive posturing, clenching of jaw, grinding teeth, nostrils flaring, heavy exhales.

— SENSES

SIGHT. small towns, big cities, six thirty curfews, lights that take the place of stars, blanket nests, light through the blinds as a wake up call, found family, finding a single star in the middle of new york city, window shopping, watching something terrible and enjoying it, wilted flowers, faded caricatures, bright, bold colors.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs, car engines and a.c. units, a phone call to mum/dad, laughing with friends, jokes that are so bad you have to laugh, the clicking of computer keys, noise cancelling headphones, the sound of silence, muffled music from another room, drumming fingertips on a table, clicking of pens, listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower, ringing in the ears, the voice of someone you love, pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night, fleeting reassurances, holding hands when you’re scared, brushing fingers through strands of hair, freshly dried clothes, bruises on your knuckles, silk and satin, your favorite pet’s fur or feather, wringing your hands anxiously, snuggles, comforters in the dead of winter, nails against skin, cold metal, leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning, tea in the evening, bubblegum that lost its flavor, alcohol burning the back of your throat, homemade cooking no matter what’s made, blood in your mouth, stale air, mint, fresh vegetables, that processed taste of citrus candy, the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good, foreign sweets, fast food, bittersweet, sour, spicy, sweet, bitter, too much salt on fries.

[build-a-buddy]

What are your favorite Beanie Babies?

This answer includes Babies, Buddies, etc.

Chip, Prance, Pounce, Friady, Pico, Cricket, Sledder, Slick, Snocap, Delilah, Fiddler, Cookie - ones that I own or owned

Slush (classic), Timber (classic), Meow (pillow pal), Juneau, Scared-E, Schlutzie, Kittybaby, Kittyhugs, Frisco - ones I want to buy or like the look of

[ariendiel]

oc aesthetics.

thank for the tag @moderarato, this was a lot of fun! I did it for both Ada and Inès, using green and blue respectively (bold when it goes for both). I'll tag @mistyeyedbi @thatwheelchairchick @bobbyboops @eskiix and @vulnerabledime 🤍

🌿 ADALINE [she/her, LITG] highest aesthetics score: Light - Candle Flames | Body Language - Insecurity & Anxiety | Sense - Touch

✨ INÈS [she/her, LITG]

highest aesthetics score: Light - Stardust | Body Language - Reflective | Sense - Touch

— LIGHT SOURCES

SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.

INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.

STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.

CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.

MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense.

AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.

FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, Heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.

— BODY LANGUAGE

DEFENSIVENESS. arms crossed on chest, crossing legs, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, karate chops, stiffening of shoulders, tense posture, curling of lip, baring of teeth.

REFLECTIVE. hand-to-face gestures, head tilted, stroking chin, peering over glasses, taking glasses off; cleaning, putting earpiece of glasses in mouth, pipe smoker gestures, putting hand to bridge of nose, pursed lips, knitted brows.

SUSPICION. arms crossed, sideways glance, touching or rubbing nose, rubbing eyes, hands resting on weapon, brows raising, lips pressing into a thin line, strict, unwavering eye contact, wrinkling of nose, narrowed eyes.

CONFIDENCE. hands behind back, hands on lapels of coat, steepled hands, baring teeth in a grin, rolling shoulders, tipping head back but maintaining eye contact, chest puffed up, shoulders back, arms folded just above navel, wide eyes, standing akimbo.

INSECURITY & ANXIETY. chewing pen or pencil, rubbing thumb over opposite thumb, biting fingernails, biting lips, hands in pockets, elbow bent, closed gestures, clearing throat, “whew” sound, picking or pinching flesh, fidgeting in chair, hand covering mouth whilst speaking, poor eye contact, tugging pants whilst seated, jingling money in pockets, tugging at ear, perspiring hands, playing with hair, swaying, playing with pointer; marker; cane, smacking lips, sighing, rocking on balls of feet, flexing or cracking fingers sporadically, leg bouncing.

ANGER & FRUSTRATION. short breaths, “tsk” sounds, tightly-clenched hands, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, rubbing hand through hair, rubbing back of neck, snarling, revealing teeth, grimacing, sharp-eye glowers, notable tension in brow, shoulders back, head up; defensive posturing, clenching of jaw, grinding teeth, nostrils flaring, heavy exhales.

— SENSES

SIGHT. small towns, big cities, six thirty curfews, lights that take the place of stars, blanket nests, light through the blinds as a wake up call, found family, finding a single star in the middle of new york city, window shopping, watching something terrible and enjoying it, wilted flowers, faded caricatures, bright, bold colors.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs, car engines and a.c. units, a phone call to mum/dad, laughing with friends, jokes that are so bad you have to laugh, the clicking of computer keys, noise cancelling headphones, the sound of silence, muffled music from another room, drumming fingertips on a table, clicking of pens, listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower, ringing in the ears, the voice of someone you love, pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night, fleeting reassurances, holding hands when you’re scared, brushing fingers through strands of hair, freshly dried clothes, bruises on your knuckles, silk and satin, your favorite pet’s fur or feather, wringing your hands anxiously, snuggles, comforters in the dead of winter, nails against skin, cold metal, leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning, tea in the evening, bubblegum that lost its flavor, alcohol burning the back of your throat, homemade cooking no matter what’s made, blood in your mouth, stale air, mint, fresh vegetables, that processed taste of citrus candy, the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good, foreign sweets, fast food, bittersweet, sour, spicy, sweet, bitter, too much salt on fries.

[chyrstis]

OC Aesthetic Tag Game

Tagged by: @strafethesesinners @aceghosts @faithchel @shallow-gravy @chazz-anova @nightwingshero and @adelaidedrubman a bit back! I’ve been wating to do this for forever now for Hana, and finally managed to sneak in some time to do so. 

Tagging: @writerofblocks @twistedsinews @hunnybadgerv @painterofhorizons @cobb-vanthss @amistrio @redroci​ @jackalopestride​ @teamhawkeye @unlikelynick @geronimo-11 @jenchwuq @heroofpenamstan​ @belorage​ @johnnycranes @gamerpurgatory @lilwritingraven​ @triedtriedtired​ @princess-underthemountain​ and anyone else that thinks this would be fun to try! And if you’ve already been tagged, please don’t mind me at all. <3

Deputy Hana Vao

Bold = always/totally fits them italics = sometimes/somewhat applies/sorta fits them strikethrough = never

— LIGHT SOURCES

SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.

INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.

STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.

CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.

MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense, light hair and dark skin.

AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.

FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair. :

— BODY LANGUAGE

DEFENSIVENESS. arms crossed on chest / crossing legs / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / karate chops / stiffening of shoulders / tense posture / curling of lip / baring of teeth

REFLECTIVE. hand-to-face gestures / head tilted / stroking chin / peering over glasses / taking glasses off; cleaning / putting earpiece of glasses in mouth / pipe smoker gestures / putting hand to bridge of nose / pursed lips / knitted brows

SUSPICION. arms crossed / sideways glance / touching or rubbing nose / rubbing eyes / hands resting on weapon / brows raising / lips pressing into a thin line / strict, unwavering eye contact (entirely reserved for one lucky, lucky individual in particular) / wrinkling of nose / narrowed eyes

CONFIDENCE. hands behind back / hands on lapels of coat / steepled hands / baring teeth in a grin / rolling shoulders / tipping head back but maintaining eye contact / chest puffed up / shoulders back / arms folded just above navel / wide eyes / standing akimbo

INSECURITY & ANXIETY. chewing pen or pencil / rubbing thumb over opposite thumb / biting fingernails / biting lips / hands in pockets / elbow bent / closed gestures / clearing throat / “whew” sound / picking or pinching flesh / fidgeting in chair / hand covering mouth whilst speaking / poor eye contact / tugging pants whilst seated / jingling money in pockets / tugging at ear / perspiring hands / playing with hair / swaying / playing with pointer; marker; cane / smacking lips / sighing / rocking on balls of feet / flexing or cracking fingers sporadically

ANGER & FRUSTRATION. short breaths / “tsk” sounds / tightly-clenched hands / fist-like gestures / pointing index finger / rubbing hand through hair / rubbing back of neck / snarling / revealing teeth / grimacing / sharp-eye glowers / notable tension in brow / shoulders back, head up; defensive posturing / clenching of jaw / grinding teeth / nostrils flaring / heavy exhales

— SENSES

SIGHT. small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york night city. window shopping. watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colours.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and a / c units. a phone call to mum / dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise cancelling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favourite pet’s fur or feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggles. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. mint. fresh vegetables. that processed taste of citrus candy. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries.

[thatwheelchairchick]

OC Aesthetics

I got tagged for this 2 weeks ago by @ariendiel and was going to do it and then made myself anxious when I didn’t know who to tag – the usual. Now I just don’t care, so I’m gonna say you’re hereby tagged if you wanna be.

Of course, I’m doing this for Lexi, my favourite OC and the one I talk about the most. 

Highest aesthetics score: Light – Sun Rays | Body Language - Insecurity & Anxiety | Sense – Sight

— LIGHT SOURCES

SUN RAYS. effervescent smiles, dandelion puffs, bare feet, beach waves, flowers pressed into books, champagne glasses, rose-gold eye shadow, boho skirts, wire-rimmed glasses, hair in loose waves, kaleidoscope eyes, sunshine in your hair, fire in your soul.

INCANDESCENT BULBS. crop tops, floral print, dancing in the rain, quiet defiance, hand-knit beanies, rosé, painted bookmarks, marble floors, cirrus clouds against a blue sky, polaroid pictures, hands held, fingers intertwined, flower crowns, baby bluebirds.

STARDUST. lace bralettes, brisk breezes, jasmine-scented perfume, books with yellowed pages, tracking constellations, sterling silver, violin music, chess games, iced coffee, glittery dresses, high heels, secret grins, midnight meetings, wishing upon a star.

CANDLE FLAMES. denim jackets, gladiator sandals, braided hair, messenger bags, movies at the cinema, stolen kisses, wax-sealed envelopes, haiku poetry, cherry wood, succulents, fountain pens, jigsaw puzzles, soft tired eyes, hidden smiles, cuddling with someone you trust.

MOONBEAMS. newspapers, over-sized sweaters, dancing shadows, fleece throws, cutoff shorts, piano chords, red wine, messy buns, embossed journals, a hint of blush dusted across your cheeks, freshly fallen snow, tranquil solitude, burning incense.

AURORAS. combat boots, burgundy lips, infectious laughter, spiral-bound notebooks, pencils used down to the stub, ripped jeans, painted nails, cloud-watching, summer thunderstorms, hiking trails, vinyl records, film cameras, skating on a frozen lake, hot chocolate by the fire.

FIREWORKS. dancing until the break of dawn, Heelys, being wheeled around in a shopping cart by your best friend, the euphoria of soaring through the air, being excited for what the future holds, group hugs, colorful tattoos, bronzer-highlighted cheeks, hugging a stuffed animal, lifting a child onto your shoulders, space buns, bright streaks in your hair.

— BODY LANGUAGE

DEFENSIVENESS. arms crossed on chest, crossing legs, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, karate chops, stiffening of shoulders, tense posture, curling of lip, baring of teeth.

REFLECTIVE. hand-to-face gestures, head tilted, stroking chin, peering over glasses, taking glasses off; cleaning, putting earpiece of glasses in mouth, pipe smoker gestures, putting hand to bridge of nose, pursed lips, knitted brows.

SUSPICION. arms crossed, sideways glance, touching or rubbing nose, rubbing eyes, hands resting on weapon, brows raising, lips pressing into a thin line, strict, unwavering eye contact, wrinkling of nose, narrowed eyes.

CONFIDENCE. hands behind back, hands on lapels of coat, steepled hands, baring teeth in a grin, rolling shoulders, tipping head back but maintaining eye contact, chest puffed up, shoulders back, arms folded just above navel, wide eyes, standing akimbo.

INSECURITY & ANXIETY. chewing pen or pencil, rubbing thumb over opposite thumb, biting fingernails, biting lips, hands in pockets, elbow bent, closed gestures, clearing throat, “whew” sound, picking or pinching flesh, fidgeting in chair, hand covering mouth whilst speaking, poor eye contact, tugging pants whilst seated, jingling money in pockets, tugging at ear, perspiring hands, playing with hair, swaying, playing with pointer; marker; cane, smacking lips, sighing, rocking on balls of feet, flexing or cracking fingers sporadically, leg bouncing.

ANGER & FRUSTRATION. short breaths, “tsk” sounds, tightly-clenched hands, fist-like gestures, pointing index finger, rubbing hand through hair, rubbing back of neck, snarling, revealing teeth, grimacing, sharp-eye glowers, notable tension in brow, shoulders back, head up; defensive posturing, clenching of jaw, grinding teeth, nostrils flaring, heavy exhales.

— SENSES

SIGHT. small towns, big cities, six thirty curfews, lights that take the place of stars, blanket nests, light through the blinds as a wake up call, found family, finding a single star in the middle of new york city, window shopping, watching something terrible and enjoying it, wilted flowers, faded caricatures, bright, bold colors.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs, car engines and a.c. units, a phone call to mum/dad, laughing with friends, jokes that are so bad you have to laugh, the clicking of computer keys, noise cancelling headphones, the sound of silence, muffled music from another room, drumming fingertips on a table, clicking of pens, listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower, ringing in the ears, the voice of someone you love, pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night, fleeting reassurances, holding hands when you’re scared, brushing fingers through strands of hair, freshly dried clothes, bruises on your knuckles, silk and satin, your favorite pet’s fur or feather, wringing your hands anxiously, snuggles, comforters in the dead of winter, nails against skin, cold metal, leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning, tea in the evening, bubblegum that lost its flavor, alcohol burning the back of your throat, homemade cooking no matter what’s made, blood in your mouth, stale air, mint, fresh vegetables, that processed taste of citrus candy, the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good, foreign sweets, fast food, bittersweet, sour, spicy, sweet, bitter, too much salt on fries.

[indimlights]

This is my little surprise for all of you. I did a (not so) little drawble that I like to call "Woensdag 21:21 - A year after" I hope you enjoy it.

It has been long since the sun had set in the Ardennes region, the night had settled in and the moon was now visible in the sky. The sounds of nature surrounded the chalet with crickets, owls and leaves blowing in the wind making themselves heard in the silent of the November night. The wind was strong. Very strong in reality, blowing from the North carrying with it the sounds of a distant Antwerp, a place they all called home and that made the already cold night even colder.

The campfire was lit, sparks flying to the flow of the wind, and the fire was shining a deep orange light on every area surrounding it. The flames kept everyone around them warm, at least most of them but from time to time the wind tried to tame the fire turning the warm flame into a meaningless amount of orange embers.

Once this happened Senne would get up, crouch near the campfire, ask for help and after he got none he would light up the fire again as fast as he could even though he was the only one trying. But for some reason, when the fire went out at 21:21 he thought it might have been different.

"Anyone helping me out this time?" He said pretty convinced he would get no help as always but still asking because he had nothing to lose. Everyone was silent, some looking up at Senne after the comment, some not even doing so, busy with whatever they were doing.

"Okay I'll do this alone again because I'm apparently the only one that doesn't mind leaving my lover for the wellbeing of others" Senne added. He had clearly gotten anoyed after the third time he had had to light the fire the previous night but today he was finally letting everyone know how annoyed he was.

"He's right, Sander, Aaron, don't you help?" Zoë was obviously defending Senne but what she said made sense to even the dumbest people around, if he could leave her for a second, so could the others leave their loved ones.

"So? You say nothing" She added

"I can go but I'm-" Aaron didn't have time to finish the sentence as Sander was already up grabbing some more logs to light up the fire, Robbe was almost lost as he was leaning on Sander and almost fell over when he got up. He now waited for Sander to sit back down to rest his head on his boyfriend again. He had now lost the warmth of the fire and the warmth of Sanders body aswell and the cold was starting to settle in. He just looked around to everyone there, Zoë with her scarf sitting waiting for Senne to come back, Amber laying on Aarons legs on the exact same position he was in a few hours later. They were both covered with a blancket, something Robbe didn't have so the only thing he could do to fight the cold was to try and distract his mind. On his right, Jens was sitting down checking his phone and Luca, sitting next to him, was commenting how beautiful the place was and Robbe agreed, it was beautiful but a bit too cold for confort.

"Okay it's done, thanks Sander." The fire was up again and the orange light had came back to the area lighting up Robbes expression staring at it. Sander turned around away from the fire looking at his boyfriend and stopping a in his tracks as he saw how beautiful he was with the orange lit up face. On Robbes side the view was pretty good aswell, Sander was eyeing him and the fire behind him made him have an flame orange aura around his entire body. The smoke from the campfire made it even more perfect adding a grey mist to Sanders figure. Robbe let out a gentle smile inviting Sander to seat back with him with a simple gesture of his hand. Sander replyed with the same gesture to Robbe calling him to follow him away from the warmth of the flames. Robbe didn't understand why Sander would want them to go away from the others but he couldn't resist the urge to follow his boyfriend everywhere so he got up and did so.

"Where are we going?" Robbe said as they got further and further away from the crown. The ambient tuning dark being Sander the only visible shape in front of Robbes eyes. That's the only reason Robbe knew where to go, Sanders shape in the moonlight, that and the constant voice of Sander repeiting the words "Come" to him.

They stopped at a small open field downhill, the fire still visible behind them, now just glowing a small light in the distance that didn't help them face the cold. Sander seemed okay with his jacket and beanie but Robbe, with the same clothes, was freezing.

"Fuck it's cold" Robbe said rubbing his hands on his arms to try and warm himself a bit. Sander laughed after this words, a noise magic to Robbe but that didn't really make sense to him in that moment.

"You know Robbe, That's why I brought you here, to try and hear those words or something like them." Sander said, smiling wide to Robbe whose face was nothing but confused about what he was hearing.

"You said the same thing last year." Sander added still smiling. "You know that right?" Robbe thought for a bit, understanding something had happened, something he was sure he would know, something he was sure would come to him after a second of thinking. And it did. Robbes face changed as he understood what had happened, a shiver going through his spine, just like it did on that day, but now not from cold but from happiness and memories.

"That was last year? Seems like yesterday!" Robbe took some steps closer to Sander, a distance close enough to feel his warm breath contrasting to the freezing night around them. They locked eyes on eachother, totally forgetting about what was going on outside, this was their moment.

"Didn't you feel cold last year?" Robbe added widening his smile to Sander, the Moonlight being the only light iluminating them. Both of them.

"I did, I still do, I was shaking but I didn't want to let you know." Sander answered laughing a bit afterwards, never unlocking his eye contact with Robbe.

"Shaking? Not even I was that cold" Robbe took another step closer to Sander, their faces almost touching as the tension rose between them in the imminence of a kiss.

"Yes shaking, but not because of the cold. It was because I knew it was my only chance to kiss the prettiest person in the world and if I failed, I would regret it forever." Robbes face lit up with the sound of these words leaving Sanders lips, he was so scared that day, not knowing if he should or not jump in, should or not kiss Sander and now he knew Sander was scared aswell but not because he wasn't sure of what he wanted, he was scared because he knew he wanted Robbe and was scared to fail. That was enough for Robbe to finally break eye contact and lean in for the kiss. Sander did the same placing his hands on Robbes back and accepting Robbes kiss, a kiss he also wanted and could never get enough of.

Seconds passed, turning into minutes with the two boys holding each other as if nothing else mattered to them. Every kiss they shared was different and special in it's own way, because it was on a different day, hour, minute and on a different mood, environment and place but that one was special. It was the concretization of their love, exacly one year after their first kiss but now everything was different, Robbe was sure that was what he wanted and Sander was the only person for him and Sander didn't need to be scared anymore, he had made it, he had gotten that kiss the previous year and with it he had unlocked a future with Robbe, a person who understood him and was there for him, always.

Their kiss lasted for short minutes that sounded like hours until Robbe broke it, softly smiling at Sander. "You know what, I'm no longer cold, just like after the kiss last year."

Sander smiled back, nodding to Robbe, confirming he was feeling the same thing as him. That was their effect on each other, the heat of their kiss could keep the cold away and their arms served as a blanket that kept them cozy and safe from the rest of the world. Sander grabbed Robbes left hand with his right one while looking up to the sky.

"The stars are never far away, I used to think that was because I could see them at night but now I know its because I have one next to be everyday lighting up my life." Robbe didn't know how to react, those words were the biggest compliment he had ever heard from Sander and he was completely frozen trying to fully understand every word and letter his boyfriend had said. He just squeezed his hand, making Sander know he was there and that Sander was also his star in the dark, someone that had made him see his real self. The real Robbe that Robbe didn't even know existed before he found Sander.

"Look, Robbe." Robbe quickly lifted his head looking up to find a shooting star making it's way across the nightsky. "Make a wish" Sander added squeezing Robbes hand back with the same strenght and confort Robbe had squeezed his.

Robbe sighed looking at Sander whose eyes never left the sky. "I wish to have you with me forever, to never let you go, to never stop loving you with every part of me"

Sander turned his face to Robbe, a small glow in his eyes and a wide smile in his face. "Be carefull, you shouldn't say it out loud, it could not come true"

Robbe locked eyes with Sander again, grabing his other hand and holding Sanders hands in his.

"It will because I don't need a shooting star to know how much I love you and how much I want you forever! Happy one year anniversary baby. The first of all of them"