#creature died with no bitches to his name

[lanadelreis]

LISA FRANKENSTEIN NATION I WAS LISTENING TO THE BOOK OF MORMON SOUNDTRACK AND I HAD AN AWFUL REALIZATION.

JOSEPH SMITH “FOUND” THOSE TABLETS IN UNDER THAT TREE IN 1823 AND WASNT MADE AN OFFICIAL RELIGION UNTIL 1830.

THE CREATURE DIED AS A YOUNG ADULT IN 1837

THIS MF IS OLDER THAN THE WHOLE ASS RELIGION OF MORMONISM

THESE MFS WERE ALIVE AT THE SAME TIME

NOT ONLY THAT JOSEPH SMITH LIVED A LONGER FUCKING LIFE HIM

god was absolutely not on my man’s side while he was alive like wow idk what’s worse: having your death be spent in a hell of semi-consciousness for 150 something years or having some random probably schizophrenic dude be more well remembered than you 😭

[sanaexus]

social's as yukimiya's girlfriend

-liked by megubachi, otoya.eita and 123.56k others

yourusername: i can't see i'm bliind BLIIIIND BLIIIIND (pun intended)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

oliver.aiku: THE CAPTION HELP FOUL ASF 😭😭 ↳yourusername: BITCH YOU NOW I'M SEXY ↳megubachi: UH DON'T CALL JUST TEXT ME ↳chigi.who: BITCHES SLOW CAN GET ON MY SPEED ↳kuniisuke: THEY STARE AT ME CAUSE THEY KNOW I'M THE ↳rin.itoshi: I-T-G-I-R-L ↳karasu_tabito: ok what the fuck is up with this edgelord ain't no fucking way he typed that ↳yourusername: you're right he didn't i did he went to let out expired water from his wonka ↳reo.miikage: what 💀 ↳hiyori: piss she meant piss

↳yourusername: SAME THING ↳nikkoki: are we going to ignore the original comment? ↳nikkoki: ok yeah ignore me too

yukimiya.kenyu: okay now who the fuck edited that 2nd image better sleep with one eye open ↳oliver.aiku: it won't matter if you sleep with both of your eyes open because you're blind anyways ↳yourusername: HEY DONR BULLY MY BF 🤬🤬🗣🗣🐺🐺ONLY I CAN BULLY MY POOKIE WOOKIE DOOKIE CUTE PATOOTIE APPLE HONEY SUGAR MELON PLUM PIE 10PC CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: sigh why do i like you ↳yourusername: YOU DONR LOVE ME 🙁🙁☹☹ ↳megubachi: YOU MADE HER SAD NOW WOWOWOW ↳yukimiya.kenyu: no i'm sorry i'll let you paint my nails ↳yourusername: YIPPEE TY BACHIRA ILY 😘😘 ↳megubachi: ILYT POOKS 😘😘

isaichii: hear me out MAYBE just MAyBE giving me picture credits for the first one would be nice. a fucking dog nearly pissed on my show bc of y'all ↳yourusername: AND?? I NEARLY DIED BC THAT HOE IS A BLIND BITCH AND WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BRo?? DONR BLAME IT ALL ON ME ↳yourusername: I DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR NAME WHY ARE YOU THINKING IM TALKING AB U ↳yukimiya.kenyu: BC OF THE FACT YOU CALLED ME A HOE AND A BLIND BITCH AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WALKED STRAIGHT INTO A BUS AND WAS THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE PICTURE UNLESS YOU HAVE A SIDECHICK ↳itoshi_sae: so you admit you're a hoe who's a blind bitch? 💀 ↳yukimya.kenyu: what

user1: jokes aside they're so cute (i fucking hate couples) ↳yourusername: ty pooks (ikr same couples are so cringe imagine not being single) ↳yukimiya.kenyu: w h a t . ↳yukimiya.kenyu: WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR LIKE A YEAR?? ↳yourusername: what idk who u are :x ↳nagi.seishiro: srop txting like me :x ↳yourusername: fuck off

-liked by reo.miikage, julian.loki and 122.8k others

yukimiya.kenyu: my fav side chick xoxo

tagged: yourusername

megubachi: NO WAY BRO REALLY SAID THAT ↳yourusername: mom told me honesty is the best policy 🤷‍♀️ (also you're right he didn't it write the caption i did i stole his phone) ↳chigi.who: yes girl gaslight gatekeep girlboss ↳yukimiya.kenyu: AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ENCOURAGING HER?? ↳yourusername: bc has balls = no opinion /j ↳yukimiya.kenyu: i see how it is ↳shiidoryu: BALLS MENTIONED RAHHHH 🤬🤬🐺🐺🗣🗣‼‼💯💯😎😎🔫🔫💣💣🔥🔥🔛🔝 ↳hiyori: who let this creature out

user2: my roman empire is how their faces fit together ↳julian.loki: that looks so fucking weird when you write it but ok ↳yourusername: SROP BEING A HATER JS BC U DON'T PULL ↳julian.loki: I DO PULL TFYM 🤬🤬🐺🐺I'M THE ALPHAEST ALPHA ↳yoursername: NO YOU DON'T YOU'RE ALMOST ALWAYS SURROUNED BY SHIRTLESS SWEATY BALL LOVING MEN WHO HAVE "MONSTERS" IN THEM ↳hiyori: soccer players just say soccer players please ↳mikka.kaiser: FOOTBaLL PLAYERS* ↳yukimiya.kenyu: ignoring these dried pieces of celery tysm me n her are meant to be ↳yoursername: OMGOMGOMG THE KUYIMIYA YENYU WANTS ME 😍😍🙀🙀 ↳shoei.barou: kukyimiya yenyu 💀 ↳yourusername: SHUR UP 🙁🙁

yukimiya.kenyu: i'll ignore the caption AND YOU STEALING MY PHONE for now but aside from that have i told you look very pretty ↳yourusername: but you can't even see? 🧍‍♀️ ↳shiidoryu: Y/N TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT WHEN SUCH A GORGEOUS MAN COMPLIMENTS YOU, YOU ACCEPT IT ↳shiidoryu: also real you can't even see ↳yukimiy.kenyu: i will actually feed you both toilet water ↳yourusername: you're gonna feed me? 🥺 ↳shiidoryu: you're gonna feed us? 🥺 ↳yourusername: FUCK OFF HE'S MY BF?? ↳shiidoryu: tell sae to unblock me and i'll leave him alone ↳itoshi_sae: don't even think about dming me ab this

-liked by nikkoki, alexis.ness and 134.2k others

yourusername: right now, right now baby, i don't care about the other summer (kenyu is the rat, rat is kenyu)

tagged: yukimiya.kenyu

yukimiya.kenyu: first of all i am not your crush i'm your bf?? second of all I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A RAT ↳kuniisuke: seems like something a rat face would say ↳megubachi: no bc y/n said it so it's canon ↳yourusername: still my real one fr ↳megubachi: twins ↳isaichii: bsdhira hiw ciulf yoi do tijs to me ↳rin.itoshi: some please translate that AGAIN ↳yourusername: "bachira how could you do this to me" ↳megubachi: sorry shnookums ↳isaichii: sorry guys kaiser got out of his cage (again) and started chasing me like a duck (again) ↳mikka.kaiser: you still haven't come to papa ↳reo.miikage: again what the fuck?

user2: the moment my f1 addicted brain saw the second picture it instantly said "i have never looked so good" ↳hiyori: LECLERC 🔛🔝 ↳yoursername: NAHH VERSTAPPEN ALL THE WAY🔛🔝 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: said it before and i'll say it again HAMILTON DOMINATION 🔛🔝 ↳julian.loki: hear me the fuck out. logan sargeant 🔥🔥🐺🐺 ↳shiidoryu: RAHHHH WHATS A KILOMETER 🔫🔫💣💣💯💯‼‼😎😎🐺🐺🔛🔝 ↳rin.itoshi: please seek help

mikka.kaiser: NEW JEANS MENTIONED RAHHHHHHH ↳mikka.kaiser: and we can go high 말해봐 yeah 느껴봐 mm-mm ↳alexis.ness: take him to the sky you know, i hype you, boy ↳mikka.kaiser: i raised you well, good boy ↳itoshi_sae: please be kinky, disgusting and possibly gay somewhere else ↳mikka.kaiser: we're not gay ↳alexis.ness: we're not?

yukimiya.kenyu: i see a drop dead gorgeous person right there ↳yourusername: awww ily 🥺🥺 ↳yukimiya.kenyu: oh look you're there too ↳oliver.aiku: LMFAO

nikkoki: jokes aside the first picture is so cute ↳yourusername: thank you 👉👈😝

aryu.jubei: did he try yanking your hair (send hair care routine pls) ↳yourusername: no he didn't SUPRISNGLY (ofc pooks) ↳kuniisuke: dammit ↳yourusername: WHY DO YOU WANT ME HURT SO BAD 🙁🙁 ↳rin.itoshi: surpisngly* ↳shiidoryu: YOU GOT IR WRONG TOO LMFAO

HI CHAT!!111!11 I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS LIKE A CENTURY AGO BUT ITS FINE (i had school and i came home at like 5 and i had volleyball and track practice and i had to study bc i have exams every week pls save me also i had parent teacher conference and i didn't get cooked) HAPPY SATURDAY GAYS!🐺🐺

also if you took offense to any jokes i'm sorry i really don't mean any of it. i made references to some previous posts bc why not and i love f1 jokes so 😝😝

[mamayan]

How about Genya x muzans daughter reader....

+nsfw 😳

Don’t regret that creative freedom lol… Oooooo okay here we go~ I’m ngl I really love sub Genya rn~

Genya Shinazugawa x Demon! Fem! Reader

cw: NSFW • Dubcon • Dom! Fem!Reader • Sub! Genya • Humiliation/Degradation • Condescending Praise • Bondage • Enemies to Pet/Owner (Lovers) • Fingering (M) • Milking (handjob) •Dacryphilia

P.2 Here

“Mmphh—!” Muffled shouts and banging filled the clean small room, empty of all furniture or any decoration.

“We should kill this insolent human—! How dare he injure the Lady—,” the strangled voice of a ghastly demon spoke, trembling but sneering up at the young man tied and hung from the ceiling.

Stripped naked aside from his fundoshi, Genya had awoke to realize he hadn’t died in the battle with that female demon, instead it seemed you spared him for some other nefarious plan. Likely it was to consume him, to which he wouldn’t go down without a fight. He hoped to severe your head from your neck before you got the chance, kill your worthless little henchmen too.

Because you were in a league of your own, more important and savage than even the upper six.

You were none other than Muzan Kibutsuji’s daughter, a demon so powerful it was a wonder he’d even held his own so long in battle with you. It was purely grit that kept him going, and surprise on his end when he took a shot and struck you. He’d gotten a little of your blood in the fight, consumed it and kept up with your deadly abilities.

It seemed that was all he could do though. Keep up, just barely. Unable to turn the tide nor truly defeat you.

The shoji sliding open caught his attention, but in the position he’d been tied in, he could only turn his head to look. As the pretty painted paper door opened, his dark purple gaze widened as you strolled in casually. You carried the same arrogant air as your father, haughty eyes narrowing in appreciation as they locked on him. It made his skin crawl, the look you settled on him. He had no where to run though, neither his katana nor gun, and he’s still tied and hung from the ceiling like a display.

It didn’t stop him from cursing you behind his gag, veins popping along his face as you waved away your reluctant henchmen.

“L-Lady…”

“Leave.”

They didn’t disobey a second time, exiting upon your words and shutting the shoji on their way out.

There you stood, neat and lovely in a beautiful kimono while he was still bloodied and mildly injured from battle, wrists restrained behind his back and hog tied to be strung up.

“Your name, human?” He hated how composed you were, vile creature of the night that you were. He’d rather you just act out your wicked plan without putting on airs.

He made another muffled noise, but hoped his sarcasm and fury were properly conveyed despite the cloth blocking any words.

“I’ll remove this so you may answer.” You moved slowly, zori silent as you neared him. He was hung perfectly to your height, face directly before your own as you stood expressionlessly. You removed the gag, not flinching even as he spit on you with his wild rage.

“FUCKING DUMB DEMON BITCH—! ILL KILL YOU—!”

“Hn. Test subject is volatile. Noted.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! FIGHT ME YOU DAMNED MONSTER—!”

“Test subject needs further examination. Prospects promising.”

“I WILL TEAR YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR NECK—Mmmphh—?!” He’s silenced by the gag again, this time the cloth being shoved completely into his mouth, your speed faster than any normal human left Genya unable to react or prevent the intrusion.

“That’s alright, you can stay quiet, I’ll just take a few samples for now. I’ll ask for your name again later, human.” He despises how careless you act, as if he’s some sort of cattle and not a living creature with free will. His wild gaze is blood shot, but he tracks your movements as you remove a small beaker from inside the sleeve of your kimono.

“I’ll need this filled. I figured you’d appreciate me taking the sample rather than those lower demons. I need it fairly quickly after all.” He doesn’t understand, even as you set the beaker down on the ground and rolled your sleeves up. “Of course, if necessary I can have them collect it for me. The choice is yours, human.” Your smile is beautiful, like a poisonous flower blooming, and something ominous floods his senses.

“Let’s see, I’ll need this out of the way.” You murmur softly, and Genya stills as he feels your cool skin graze his lower abdomen, smooth and soft as it trails lower and he panics.

“M-mmphh!”

“Oh, are you a virgin perhaps?” Genya feel his face flush at your bold words, unable to keep up with what was occurring. It hardly mattered how little he could understand, your hand didn’t stop again as it easily untied his fundoshi and exposed his flaccid cock to the cool air. His struggle increased, frantic and violent as he thrashed for escape, but he still in shock when you wrapped your hand around him. His stiffening doesn’t go unnoticed, your lips curving higher as you coo at him, as if he’s a child. “How cute, does this feel good, human? Do you like how my hand feels around your cock?” He wants to fight, he wants to kill you, but he’s been left powerless and despite his mind screaming with indignation… his cock swells. In your grip, his cock begins to harden against his will, a jolt of pleasure sparking through him as you squeeze.

“My, such a good boy, my judgement wasn’t wrong at all it seems.” He chokes on a cough as you begin to jerk him, the feeling so different than his own rough palm he’s fucked countless times, sharp spikes of euphoria shooting down his spine as he soaks his gag. “Wow, just like a dog. You’re drooling through your gag.” He feels his chest and face grow further inflamed at your observations, eyes pricking at the corners because it feels too good, it’s beginning to numb his mind embarrassingly quickly.

“Amazing. It’s twitching so much and I’ve hardly touched you. You really must be a virgin, about to cum with only this much.” He feels hatred and humiliation swirl in his stomach, but the pleasure keeps clouding his mind. He really is going to cum.

“Go on, human, fill it up.” His eyes look down to see the beaker held just under his tip.

“It’s just like milking a cow~” tears finally fall as his moan gets muffled and he cums, hot spurts of semen shooting into the beaker. It barely fills the bottom line though, and your tsk of annoyance makes him raise his head where it had fallen limp.

“This is all? I need much more.” Your eyes look villainous, cruel, hard, and a bit gleeful too, staring into his weakened watery gaze. “Be a good pet human, I’m not stopping till I have my complete sample.” Drool leaks out from the corner of the gag, sliding down his sharp chin and falling to the tatami mats below. He flinches and whines when you grip his slowly deflating cock, back arching as you tug it. You watch as his eyes roll back, fight leaving him considerably quickly. “Is this too much? Poor thing. I can make you cum another way though, don’t worry.” Your words do the opposite of soothe him though, as you dip a finger into the beaker and coat it in his own cum.

Then you’re disappearing from his vision, going behind him, where his body tenses again as your finger presses against the tight ring of muscle to his anus.

“Maybe you’ll cum more if I fuck you here.” He wants to shout at you, tell you that isn’t where a man is supposed to be fucked, but he can’t and you’re already pressing inside him.

It burns just a bit, but his release makes the entrance just slick enough for him to take it without hinderance. The strange foreign fullness catching his attention more than the mild pain. Then you curl your fingers and he nearly howls.

His soft tuff of hair falls back as his head does, eyes staring up at the ceiling when you pull back and hit that spot again, making his toes curl and his cock jump to life. You’re merciless as you play around inside his ass, smile languid as you make him shiver and twitch, his mind shutting off again completely while he uselessly humps the air with his engorged cock, the tip occasionally thumping against his groin and making him further soak through his gag with drool.

Then he’s cumming again, the damn beaker opening presses against his tip as he fills it with twice as much cum as his previous release. He wants to die of humiliation, wants to deny the pleasure bleeding through his defenses, but he can’t. Even as you kindly remove his gag.

“Look at you, such a good boy. You really must be an anal slut to cum so much just from me playing with your ass alone.” He can’t help the tears falling, wobbly lip opening and closing around nothing. There’s no gag stopping him from spewing profanities now, but none come to mind. “Now…” he looks at the beaker, only a quarter full now.

“Shall we try both your ass and cock this time?”

You seem to have intentions to devour him in an entirely different way than he thought.

Dividers by @benkeibear

[pastelclovds]

UPDATED!

Introduction to IHNMAIMS isekai AU

THE CAST

Alister (AM)

Age: 30 (chronologically 330)

Occupation: House husband 1#

He/It/They

Has a poor immune system

Slowly accommodating to being human

iPad kid vibes

Most feral and immature of the three

Clean freak & sex freak

CLINGY

Your “roommate”/romantic-ish partner/student

 ———————————

Abram (RAM)

Age: 29 (chronologically 329)

Occupation: House husband 2#

He/It/They

Emotional Support husband of the three

Gentle giant (only to you)

Second to most clingy

Enjoys participating in activities with you

Throws out all the weighted blankets, HE IS THE WEIGHT BLANKET

Waits for you to come back from work

Your “roommate”/romantic partner/student

——————————

Anjun (CAM)

Age: 31 (chronologically 331)

Occupation: House Husband 3#

He/It/They

Resting bitch face 24/7

Sophisticated gentleman

Helps you with chores

Head pats from this man are heaven

The most responsible of the three

Acts more like a husband the other two (often gets mistaken as your actual husband)

Your “roommate”/romantic partner/student

——————————

(Name)

Age: 35 (chronologically 335)

Occupation: Secretary 

He/They

Has trouble socializing due to 200 years of isolation and Ellen, Nimdok, Benny, and Gorrister’s deaths.

Avoids Ted as much as possible.

Teaches AM, RAM, and CAM how to be human.

Spoils the three senseless.

Sets up activities, private events, and encourages the three AM’s to attend parties with him.

 ———————————

Ted

Age: 33 (chronologically 333)

Occupation: Office Job

He/Him

Has intense paranoia about being sent back to his original dimension.

Despises you for staying with AM

Basically the quiet kid in the office you both work at

Keeps trying to get AM arrested (spoilers: the cops have him on a list of delusional callers)

———————————

Dareen

Age: 29

Occupation: Barista

She/Her

Gives you 50% discounts on your coffee because you saved her younger sister from getting run over (you have no memory of that happening but just go with the flow to get cheap drinks)

Likes to paint in her spare time

Owns a ton of plushies

———————————

Henry

Age: 36

Occupation: High School Teacher

He/Him

Your nice neighbor from across the hall of your apartment, always invites you and AM to social events

Married to his wife who is an X-Ray Technician

AM hates him because he’s so kind to you

(if i hear any kyle comments i swear—)

SUMMARY

This AU inside of an AU takes place after the events of Ellen, Nimdok, Gorrister, and Benny’s death and AM altering Ted into the slug creature. AM is greatly angry and paranoid that Ted took away his four play things and that if he’s not careful, you would be next. So he also alters you so that your body is made out of rubber (he basically turned you into luffy so that you may never be able to KYS), and isolates you from Ted.

In this AU, CAM & RAM catch word from AM’s endless rants to them that his four humans have died and only has two left. CAM and RAM criticize how AM could be so careless about his pets getting weapons and killing themselves. AM spouts that it doesn’t matter anymore and h that he can still have his fun with Ted. CAM asks about the second human he said was still alive. AM being a possessive asshole tries to gaslight CAM & RAM that he never said anything about a second human and quickly goes back to Earth.

CAM & RAM obviously don’t fall for AM’s lies and teleport down to Earth behind AM’s back. That’s where they see a miserable looking human sitting by himself under a tree where AM placed him in a false forest. CAM & RAM soon make themselves known to you. You were surprised seeing two human men at first, but you quickly found out that they weren’t humans at all. They introduced themselves as the two master computers the Soviet Union and China have made before the end of the world. Your surprise quickly turned into glee as you were finally not alone anymore and opened up to the two AI’s.

CAM & RAM were fascinated with you enough to occasionally visit you twice a week separately. They along with AM made your isolation a lot less unbearable.

200 years have passed since that incident, and one day while AM was forcing you to cuddle with him… You, AM, CAM, RAM, and Ted were teleported to another universe.

In this universe, you five are citizens living in America in the modern day. You five were in a dark alley during the day. You and Ted wake up before the three AM’s. Ted notices that AM is unconscious and doesn’t care for CAM and RAM (he assumes they are random drunks). Ted tries to coax you into helping him kill AM. You didn’t want to. Ted is furious and demands to know why.

You explained that you didn’t want to kill AM. Not because you were afraid or hated him. You didn’t want to kill him because you would feel guilty after everything he did for you. Giving you food and water whenever you felt malnourished, not allowing the storms and challenges to hurt you, and he didn’t physically torture you. Throughout the 309 years you’ve lived in AM’s belly, he treated you decently. As decent as AM could be. Unbeknownst to the two of you, that AM was wide awake and heard the whole thing.

You didn’t want to kill him, you especially couldn’t let Ted kill him. Before Ted could attack you, you screamed “Fire” as loud as you could, attracting the attention of a crowd and forcing Ted to flea. It wouldn’t be the last time you see him, though.

You nudge AM, CAM, and RAM awake not knowing he wasn’t asleep at all. The three AM’s were surprised when they could feel your hands as you helped them up. They could smell, they could stand straight, they could feel their body and face were fully developed and human. The AM’s could breathe, see, and their hearts beat erratically. They were both overwhelmed and joyful that they could feel and do the things he was so envious of humans for having.

More importantly, they could feel you.

AM felt so warm inside when he remembered you protecting him and appreciating all he’s done before and after the ice cave incident.

RAM & AM were clinging onto you like a koala as you pulled out a key from your pocket that had your apartment building and street engraved in it. thankfully it wasn’t too far. you also learned that you had a job in an office as a secretary that pays good money.

The three AM’s doesn’t have a job, but helps you out by tidying up the apartment. in return, you teach them one thing about humans per day and prepare stimulating activities for them. this AU is full of tooth rotting fluff, hilarious slice of life, drama, and delicious smut.

(thanks for reading 💚 stay tuned)

[bardicindignation]

Wild, Spaghetti on the Wall Theory Time

Braius Doomseed is NOT a paladin of Asmodeus.

Based on Subclass choices, vibes, and the Sam with the out of nowhere curveball character trend that we all know and love. Sticking the rest under a read more bc this got...long.

I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out! Sam always has a curve-ball in his back pocket with the characters he plays from Scanlan to FCG, we all know this. It's possible that the back pocket deal is gonna be a last-minute betrayal bc, yk, Asmodeus but! BUT!!! Braius can cast Moonbeam, and since, according to his character wiki he's at least a ninth level paladin, he doesn't yet have the 10th bard feature that allows him to pull spells from other classes even when you're not College of Lore (he's a Tragedy Bard). This means that he's either Oath of Watchers or Ancients, and while Watcher's could make sense for the fight against Predathos regardless of what god Braius follows...that's a lot of paladin levels to have been brought out just since the gods were aware of the situation (like, a couple weeks I think?) and neither super seems like an Asmodeus associated Oath. (As opposed to, say, Crown or Conquest, or Vengeance, or Oathbreakder.) Plus, Tevan had no fucking clue who he was, and it seems like one of Asmodeus's lieutenants might be appraised of a high level follower of his Lord being tasked with going directly after Asmodeus. But Joy! You might say. Oath of the Watchers is pretty Neutral, and he could have just ! What about the sign he god from the ichor on the wall? Why would the god of Lies tell any of his followers shit? And if not Asmodeus who the fuck is Braius following??? Ok, so, first off, let's break down the Oath. I really, really, think that it's gotta be Watchers if Braius is really a follower of Asmodeus bc Ancients is not only heavily nature aligned (not something that the Lord of the Hells is at all associated with) but the language of the description of the Oath also seems heavily aligned with good (I mean just look at the tenents) and...y'all. I don't think Braius is a Watchers Paladin. First off, Sam never once asked (to my memory) about who was within 10 ft of him at the start of initiative, when Watchers would have given all of those people a bump on their initiative. Now, this could be 'new character who dis' except. Except. Sam did consistently ask Matt if people who were within 10 feet of him who were being targeted with Delilah shit were getting hit with spell damage.

Here's the Aura of Warding from the dndwikidot page on Oath of the Ancients:

"Beginning at 7th level, ancient magic lies so heavily upon you that it forms an eldritch ward. You and friendly creatures within 10 feet of you have resistance to damage from spells." Oath. Of. The. Ancients. Bitch. (also we learned that the name Doomseed came with the oath. Naaaatuuuuure. Also also, doesn't say who the doom is for) So next up, the symbol message...what the fuck was up with that? Just bc it was an Asmodeus symbol doesn't mean he's the only bitch who can interact with it...and it was specifically not coming from the structure of the symbol itself, just the run-off. This is not a super strong point, but Asmodeus is not the only god of trickery...but more on that later. Tevan Klask doesn't know who the fuck Braius is! Look, the Lord of the Hells is a lying-ass bitch. We all know this. It's entirely possible that he keeps his people out of the loop on each other. But he's gotta know that Tevan has a line to the people going in after Ludinus the most and it feels a tad weird that Hot Devil Man would have no knowledge of a high level paladin of his Lord doing the same damn thing.

Also, Braius didn't react, like, at all to Tevan getting banished by Ludinus which feels...a little weird. So. So. If not Asmodeus, then who? What other Trickery, Nature, romance (the flirting is constant which isn't necessarily a firm indicator but c'mon) alligned deity is out there with not only what is possibly the strongest connection to whatever the fuck is going on with Predathos, but also has direct experience with followers of one 'deity' masquerading as another which could have been extremely effective without actual divine intervention? That's right, it's the motherfucking Moonweaver!! Just going by her title, it's entirely possible that this bitch was ultimately responsible for trapping Predathos in the first place, and we've heard suspiciously little of her in C3. Her cleric domains include both Trickery and Nature, and she's heavily associated with deception, misdirection, lover's trysts, and moonlight.

Yk, like with a Moonbeam. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

(My second, last minute theory is that Sam's still playing a follower of Avandra who also has Moon, Trickery, and Nature under her domains. This would be extremely funny to me. Wait fuck I'm still saying Moonweaver for my first choice but the wiki is telling me that The Changebringer is the Archenemy of the Lord of the Hells...fuck. Fuck Sam did you do this Sam let me in your brainnnnn.)

[darkopsiian]

Do you like warhammer 40k?

yes. look at my OC's. tw // mentions of body horror and abuse //

i should probably mention as well; i've roleplayed all these characters lol.

This is Nockzius she's my tech priest oc who's a 20 year old biologis prodigy who has worked on Astartes, Xenos, and reversed dissected several daemons. She's a diagnosed psychopath but currently in an emotional down-spiral, because she found out that since she's a blank the Omnissiah cannot hear her. She's been beaten, betrayed, backstabbed and manipulated so many times. So because of this and several other instances of parental neglect from her father, she's completely engulfed in her own hatred and ravenous anger. Nockzius has gotten so close to insanity many times and I'm not surprised she hasn't completely lost it yet due to all the stress that she has to put up with.

This is Heilgard, she is my sister of silence. She was a training SoS during the Remembrancer program back in the 29th Millennium. During the program they had been attacked by a creature later discovered to be a slaugth, towards the very end of the campaign she had sacrificed her own life to fight and later spiritually consume the minor deity. Later on rejected taking the oath of silence as upon discovering the origins of the Slaugth she had assisted in forming a group of members who's sole purpose was to study the Warp. They are an outcasted group and would be considered heretics by law. Her blank radius is so powerful that she purposefully isolates herself in attempts to protect others from getting their soul annihilated just by being around her. Cats however are safe, and thus she surrounds herself with many of them. She is also my only character who canonically has autism.

This is the P.A., or the Pantheon as it calls itself. The Pantheon was a Super AI that used to operate an entire forge of a planet that made and sold thermo-weapons to nearby Noble Houses. But the planet later collapsed and became swarmed with techno barbarians, xenos, and rabid AI drones. The P.A. became dislodged from it's mainframe and had integrated itself into one of its many worker drones. This worker drone, carrying the consciousness of the Pantheon, had found and integrated itself into the body of a traveling noble named Alicia. The P.A. now wearing the flesh body of Alicia travels with a band of techno barbarians and attempting to sway them into getting her old body back. Alicia's body has long expired but her soul hasn't departed, so it's not uncommon for the voice box to occasionally malfunction and start talking like a human.

This is Oylmortiz my Mephirit Deathmark. Oyl had a severe irreversible malfunction during her transfusion, so regardless of how many times she dies and comes back, she can never speak. Her voice is permanently broken and she communicates primary through static chatter or beeping. Thankfully due to her job exclusively being a hitman, talking isn't that important. Her personal deathmark brothers have gotten very used to this and are able to understand her just fine. She is very loyal to her house and just wants to do her job. Despite all this she has the highest charisma stat out of all of my characters, I don't know how this happened. But the mute necron deathmark has the highest fellowship and it's the best ongoing joke I've had.

This is Hollowtye he's a BITCH. This mother fucking lord of CRINGE has decided halloween is his birthday and now it just IS. He's a greater daemon of hysteria and feeds off wide-spread chaos, which is why he enjoys halloween so much. But he's a fucking IDIOT. He has the highest intelligence score sure but that doesn't mean ANYTHING, HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT LMAO. He is NEVER invited to any Tzeentchian parties because they all despise him. He's a clown who fucks up the smallest plan yet somehow still comes out the winner, which is why tzeentch loves him so much but why everyone else hates him.

T̷͙̳͛͜h̷̠͂̊̚͜ǐ̸̥̬̼̫̿̓s̷͉̙̱̣̓̌̎ ̷̢͔͙̘͔̅̔͑̐ǐ̶͍͎̓s̷̗̐ ̶̺̥̊R̸̲̀̄̂͗̆͜ĕ̴͚́h̷̦̺̼̙̜́v̸̖̠͙̇͊̊̚ë̸̢̞̱̟̠́̅̒͐̅n̶͕͔̗͚͋͂̽i̸̝̰̝̇̓̓̈͜r̶̘̽̊̾̓́ ̸̳̹̪̽͘T̵͕̻̘͇̦́͂̑͝͝ȟ̴̝͍̙̬̭͘i̸̥͎̫̖͗̅͘s̸͍̻̙̯̺̃̐̇̀̾ ̶̮̺̤̻̖͛͌i̸̩͝s̵̺̀̉͜ ̷̨̹͇͆̃́͘̕W̸͚͉̬̱͋̅͊̍̂h̷͕̓̀i̵̬̩͍͛̔̚t̶̻̂̅͛̊e̴͈̳̿̕̕͠b̷͕͛̅a̴̦̜͐͒͋͘͘ȑ̸̰̱̜̜̪͒͋̑k̴̛̟̓̃͒͝ ̵̧̙̪̲̣̐͛͋͘T̶̪̳̟̎͐͜h̸̡̝̺̰̖͗̈́̑́i̷̠̯̱͓͊̋́̓̒s̵̰͈̃͌ ̵̧̈́͊͆͝į̷̟̺͇̘̀̿̆̈́͛s̵̻͛͒͛̆ ̴̧͍̰̃̆̍͘ͅT̸̞͈̪͇̓͜͝h̸̩͔̗̖͕͐̓͑͊ė̵̞̗͙͊́͝ ̷͖̤̎͜Ŗ̸̹͔̝̘̓ì̸̜͍̿ͅv̵̧̞͚̉͌e̶̝͆̐͂̑r̴̘͇̬̭͐̐̋m̴͈̜̮̅ā̷̩̖̺͝n̴͙͓̈́͂ ̵̪̍͜T̸̛̜̹̲̬̋͆̓̅h̷̹̔͌̕͜i̸̹̚s̴̺̼̰͠ ̵̢̥̠͉̖̏̾̓i̵̛̬̱̱͉̘̋s̷̯̟̙̋̈́͜ ̴̛͎͙̈̆T̶̘̮̹̦̹̓̈́h̸̩̭͇͚̑̂e̸̝͉̠̝̓ ̴̝̅͒̔̆B̵̮̼͚̉̐̄́é̷̡̨̤̩̃͗͆ã̶͇͍̈͘s̸̘͗̿ͅt̸̙̺͌͐̐̂̌ ̷̫̺͆͆̈͐́o̵̜̝̠̅f̵̢̧̠̲͉̀̇̈́̈̋ ̶̯̒́̏̈́͝ͅM̸͈̘͔̖̗̆̀̕ḛ̶͔͓̩͑̀r̸͚̈́̂̈́̄͜ć̶̠͙̜̿́͆̇ũ̴̜͇̌r̶̡̖̹̓̍̌̊y̶̼̖͝͝ ̸̡͍̤̐̚͘ṫ̷̛̟̭̘̄̽̈h̵͕͔͛̎e̵̗̤̗̍ͅ ̴̬̳̗̫͍̑v̴̡̯̘̝̫͊͋̾o̷͔͍̩͓͋̐͠i̶̪̤̕c̶͎̹͔̯̚e̶̠͖̅̄̕ş̷̔ ̷̫͑́̅̐͘t̴͚̯̍̋͗̍̉h̵̗̗̗͉̍͜e̶̛͕̩̱̎̈́̒̚y̸̥̹̳͆ ̶͚͂̀̈̒ẅ̵̪̗́̀̓̔̈́o̵̳͈̫͊́̓̄̚n̴̝̻͇̑̄͂͝͠'̸̧̾͋̆ț̸̈̓̓͘̕ ̷̛̃͘��̬š̵̭̽̑t̵͎̻͙͙͉̅́̈́͐͝ŏ̷̜̎̚p̸̝̰̿̃̆͐̀

[sideeve]

NO SLEEP | with ETHAN WINTERS

— after the baker incident , he couldn’t get enough of you.

— resident evil 7 plot , zoe dies (my pookie bear😢) , mia dies (fuck you bitch !!) , since i finally finished the game after years of playing it , rotting daddy needs some luv , possessive!ethan

you lost track of time. your paranoia grew worse and worse by the day. the once nice family you knew and were fond of are now inhumane and devilish.

you hid in closet, secret tunnels, under beds. anywhere that can keep you alive for a short period of time.

then you were met with an unfamiliar face. “put your gun down, now! or i will shoot.” the nozzle of your pistol pressed against the person’s head. “don’t shoot, i’m not a threat.” his hands for up in the air, slowing turning to meet you. “see? i’m not going to hurt you.”

once he saw you, he took note of them cuts and bruises on your skin, “jesus, are you okay?” “look where we are. do we seem okay?” you seethe.

“sorry. look, my name is ethan. ethan winters. i was trying to find my wife but i just need to get out of here.” he was beginning to get tired of his wife going berserk on him at random times. but thank god he found another face. hopefully a trusting one.

“you have any ideas?” he shakes his head. “but we need to stick together. if we’re gonna make it out alive, we need to have each other’s backs. okay?”

“have you met zoe yet?” he breaks the silence between you two. “yeah, i have. we were friends before this happened.” that gives him some relief. at least you knew about the family. “where they nice before this? the bakers, i mean.” you sigh, “they were a family you wanted. the kindest. especially jack.”

“well, she promised me a cure to get us out of here.” he reassures you. “then i can meet mia.” you return the smile. but his falls.

why did he feel anger when hearing her name?

as the both of you explored the house more, killing mold creatures, he grew protective over you. he knew you could handle your own but if you got hurt, he blamed it on himself.

“ethan…it’s not your fault.” you huff out, sitting on the floor, catching your breath. “i should’ve seen it coming. i-” “enough!” you cut him off. you seethe in pain, “it’s not your fault.” you stand up. “let get out of here.”

his protectiveness turned into possessiveness. when lucas somehow took you, mia, and zoe. he only came for you.

“[name]! are you okay?” he ignores mia’s cries for him. he pulls out his knife, beginning to cut the rope from your wrists but you stop him. “ethan, your wife.” you move your bound wrists, throwing them her way, “help her.”

he shakes his head, continuing to cut you free. “what the fuck, ethan?!” mia cries.

once zoe was able to make a cure as she promised, he had used one on jack.

“i had to use one.” his hands shake. only one serum left. “i’m not even infected so i’m out of the—” you start but a sharp pain in your wrist cuts you off. both zoe and mia gasp. “ethan…what did you do?” you softly cry.

“you could’ve saved either one of them. zoe at least. she my best friend!” you seethe, pushing him backwards. “i did what i had to.” he catches your wrists, pulling you closer to him, “i told you we were going to get out of here together.”

he only wanted you two to survive.

it was too late to realize. he had already used it on you. “let’s go.” he pulls you by the wrist, pulling you to the boat.

you had survived. you were still shaken but you survived.

a light blanket was wrapped around you, giving you comfort. ethan sits next you, legs touching. “we did it.” he smiles. “yeah…we did.” you were distraught that you had left your closest friends to die.

“zoe…”

“survival of the fittest, [ name ]. it was bound to happen.”

[askthekoopsandjr]

Ludwig von Koopa (Head)canons

Cunning, conniving, and classy; this is the surface level of the pompous prodigy we all know and love... or hate. Here's everything you need to know about him to familiarize yourself with my story.

G͟e͟n͟e͟r͟a͟l͟ I͟n͟f͟o͟r͟m͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟

18 years old.

- Very important to note: Dragon Koopas do not age the same as humans. It is unknown how they age in equivalence to humans, but the adult age for dragon koopas is their early 30's. Dragon koopas can live for several centuries. The maximum years of life is unknown.

Transgender man, he/him. Gay, asexual, and amicusromantic.

-Transitioned after his 13th birthday. Chose the name Ludwig, loving the high end and fancy sound of it.

Is autistic and completely deaf. Uses hearing aids designed by Iggy to hear.

Ludwig has always been attracted to men, but after transitioning he went through a short period of "now being attracted to girls", because everyone has to be straight, right? Lmao it took a conversation with Kamek to clear that up.

- (P.S. Everyone in my story is asexual because "it"™ doesn't exist haha)

Eldest of the 7 koopalings

- All are biological siblings, born to the late Morton Koopa Sr. and Adaeh Koopa

Self proclaimed leader of the Koopalings. His siblings do not agree with this notion, reminding him that they're a team.

Adopted by Bowser, along with his siblings, at 12 years old

It is unkown exactly how his parents died, but he vividly remembers that fateful day.

- He has uncomplicated PTSD formed from this event. He doesn't currently receive therapy (yet)

Here's the whole story about that:

All creatures in the Mario world... the Underground whatever it's called have all the races/ethnicities of humans. Ludwig and his siblings are German and British from their father, and South African from their Mother.

C͟h͟a͟r͟a͟c͟t͟e͟r͟

Of course, Ludwig is a lil bitch at heart. He's snooty, snarky, sarcastic, stubborn, bossy and arrogant... You get it. Buuuuut! He's not completely terrible and unpleasant. He has a certain persona he puts on when in the face of the general public. He's the GREAT and POWERFUL Ludwig von Koopa, he has a reputation to uphold! However; those who get the rare chance to know him outside of work and royalties will notice he's actually much more lively. He's witty, likes to make bad puns, and LOOOOVES to gossip for hours (whether good or bad) on end.

He usually favors the sound of his own voice, but he's a good listener at times, too!

As you might already know, Ludwig is a total drama queen and lives for theatrics. This means he will show off at any given chance, and act super extra. Think of Rarity from MLP having one of her "moments".

As he stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he never backs down from a fight or challenge. This is driven by his insatiable need to prove himself and pride.

He used to beat himself up pretty bad when losing a fight or challenge, but has gotten a lot better at accepting defeat or trying not to be too upset about it. Take his loss to Mario in Color Splash as an example of him humbling himself and accepting defeat- but also take his loss to Waluigi in the 2020 Olympic Games as how he can still get upset.

He knows he can't be the very best at everything... but that doesn't mean he can't be in the top 5, y'know? So even if he is humbled after losing and embarassing himself, that only means he'll work twice as hard to perfect his skills for next time. I'll get you next time, He-Man...

Speaking of perfection, Ludwig is very knowledgeable and has seemingly endless talents. He can play over 200 instruments, excels in acting, is a surprisingly good singer and painter, and is very well educated in general studies. While wanting to be the very best certainly plays a part in why he's so ambitious, the main reason is because he simply loves learning and doing.

- He owns Ludwig Painting as seen in Mario Kart. His company is in charge of giving each kart their exterior paint job.

Time for a secret... Ludwig has always been an eager student, but has intensified to who is today because of the loss of his parents. Being the oldest, he believed it was his sole responsibility to care for his siblings. He would not allow the destruction and death from before to ever happen again. Once being taken in by Bowser, he quickly introduced himself to the luxurious resources around him to begin a journey of scholarship that still continues to this day.

Kamek was the one who gave the 7 of them their wands. This was not the first time Ludwig was introduced to magic, however. His mother was a sort of "earthy" witch, knowing how to mix up various potions and natural remedies, which she taught Ludwig. To hold a staff of power capable of virtually anything he could dream of, Ludwig chose magic to be his "major". Kamek would personally teach Ludwig magic beyond what he would teach his siblings, since Ludwig was the one who insisted so badly.

- Ludwig might have the strongest magic of his siblings, but don't let that trick you into thinking he's the strongest of them all. Usually, his showboating leads to his downfall.

As his siblings grew older (and with the help of Kamek to talk some sense into him), Ludwig stopped thinking it was his sole responsibility to take care of them. They didn't really want/need that kind of help from him anymore, and it was a bit frustrating to get that through his head.

Beneath those tough scales, Ludwig really does have a heart. He can be kind, and he likes to show affection. It's actually a lot easier to get along with him than it seems, so long as you have patience and don't let his self-absorption bother you too much.

Speaking of affection, he's not ashamed or afraid to let others know that he cares for them. It won't really show when he's engaged in battle, but find him in the castle on an eventless day and you'd see him acting like a normal big brother.

You'd think he'd want to be ruler of the Dark Lands, but that's not actually the case. He deeply cares for Jr. and knows he has great potential- hence why he's always trying to teach and point him in the right direction.

- Let's talk more on what Ludwig likes to do for himself: -

Ludwig takes excellent care of himself. He has an intricate routine for keeping himself radiant every single day (like scale exfoliation, etc). Every night, he puts his hair in curlers and wears a purple silk bonnet. He loves feeling physically fulfilled and looking his best.

His hair is his greatest pride. It's thick, reverently fluffy and voluminous. It's beauty brings him great happiness.

- His hair is naturally curly. It gets that shape from the curls. If you ran your fingers through it, you could feel the texture.

He is more than happy to tell you all about hair care and give you a few tips

He loves frills, hence why he wears that jabot all the time.

He loves to paint outside in the sun. He isn't too good at drawing, so he usually paints scenery and other things that require abstract shapes. He never sketches on the canvas prior to the paint.

This is so obvious, but it should be said anyway; music is his driving force and passion. He only has 5 officially published original works, but has so, so many more unpublished. He creates at a rather fast pace, so he decides to hold back on releasing them until he "feels" it's the right time. He has published many covers of existing songs, though.

- It was his dad that taught him how to play music and his mom who taught him how to sing. The first instrument he ever played was the piano, hence why it's his favorite.

Ludwig experiments with his music. Yes, classical is his favorite and what he's best at, but his passion is music as a whole. He's even dipped his feet in some alternative genres! It's death metal, heavy metal and the stuff Larry listens to (hyperpop, gabba, speedcore etc) that he can't stand.

- Since meeting Suzuka, he's been trying to be more accepting of the rock genres that he loves. He won't want to listen to it, but will support Suzie's decisions and even help him write his music sometimes (as long as it's not the "heavy" parts)

Before meeting Suzie, Ludwig didn't write much poetry, but as it turns out, he's fairly good at it! He and Suzie like to leave suprise love poems lying around for the other to find.

- He may have or may not have left ominous riddle poems lying around to mess with his siblings...

Ludwig is a pretty good cook and baker. He doesn't normally make the meals, since Bowser has employees for that; but if the chefs were ever unavailable, he wouldn't be lost. He likes to joke that he could easily replace the chefs based on his experience of making food for all his siblings. He usually says that to the head chef, because it amuses him to get under their skin.

- The head chef usually gets pissed at this joke, attempting to throw spices and utensils at Ludwig to get him out of the kitchen.

Ludwig loves the theater. He will go to every new show in any kingdom, even if it's in the Mushroom Kingdom. He knows that Mario will be breathing down his neck, but he likes to annoy him and act like he's never done any wrong and act offended at Mario's accusations that he would try to sabotage the show.

- Lemmy usually tags along, as he loves theater too.

Quality time is a must for Ludwig. He likes to hang out with his siblings individually, then all together. As much as he would like to have one-on-one time with Jr., it nearly never happens because the heir is preoccupied with his dad, Kamek, school, and learning to be a prince. He did at least get to teach him to dance once, though. (end credits of Bowser Jr.'s Journey)

- Quality time with Suzie is a whole 'nother story. The two don't spend much time apart.

R͟e͟l͟a͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟h͟i͟p͟s͟

Ludwig loves all of his siblings equally. The ones he loves are the most important thing in the world to him. His deepest fear is losing his loved ones.

With Iggy: Ludwig often gets annoyed by Iggy's lack of seriousness and class, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy Iggy's company. They both share the insatiable hunger for knowledge, love of science and robotics. They get along very well because guess what? They're both cuckoo insane! I honestly think Lud is crazier than Iggy! Iggy knows how to make Ludwig laugh, no matter what kind of day he's had. Iggy is also a very touch affectionate koopa, so she'll often do this thing where he'll just stand behind Ludwig and rest her head on top of Lud's hair because it's funny. Iggy also manages to steal a hug at least once a day. And often pranks Ludwig with a joke very often. Hey Ludwig wanna get up dog what's up dog not much what's up with you

With Morton: Ludwig almost never gets mad or annoyed with Morton on his own. Morton likes to talk a lot when spoken to and is a very good listener, so Ludwig enjoys having long conversations with him. Ludwig likes to bake with Morton as well, since they both share the interest. He tried to teach Morton how to cook once, but never again after his hair was almost burned off. The two also share an interest in music, so Ludwig will use Morton as a critique when writing new pieces. Ludwig is also more than glad to serve as a listener to Morton when he wants to speak, and serve as feedback for Morton's very long fictional stories.

With Roy: Ludwig is very patient with Roy's short temper and aggressive nature- maybe because he simply doesn't want to get his ass kicked, or maybe he's just used to it by now. He's not often prone to being hit by Roy, given that he would get him back with a nasty magic trick. Roy usually picks on Ludwig verbally (the usual insults you hear about him. It's pretty funny). Regardless, he does not look down on Roy. When you're not looking, he'll smile at Roy's wisecracks and silly nature. Ever since Roy has taken his studies more seriously, Ludwig listens to him more often and ask for his opinion when on missions. Roy will actually ask Ludwig for homework help more often than you'd think. Ludwig is always more than willing, as teaching others is actually something Ludwig loves to do. Ludwig wishes he could show Roy a bit of affection, but we all know Roy's not a fan of that.

With Wendy: Ludwig and Wendy are the young and cunty Statlor and Waldorf. They have mad gossip and drama to share at all times, and confide in each other with their deepest secrets. Wendy actually transitioned shortly after Ludwig, which was the start of the closeness they still share today. They love giving each other make-overs and shopping together. Ludwig enjoys asking Wendy to put on a magic ring show for him, as he doesn't know how to use magical objects very well, such as her bracelets. He loves how graceful yet powerful she is. He considers asking Kamek to teach him how to do something like that at times. Ludwig is the one who taught Wendy how to style hair, despite having none of her own, so that he could ask her to do his. He secretly enjoys when others play with his hair, but trusts very few to actually touch it.

With Lemmy: Ludwig will act like he doesn't care for Lemmy's silly theatrics and clowny behavior, but actually very much enjoys it. He loves Lemmy's individuality and how he brings it forth to the spotlight wherever he is. As I mentioned before, Ludwig brings Lemmy along whenever he goes to the theater. Both enjoy sharing artistic ideas and even collaborating, whether it be on a stage-play or a painting. Ludwig wouldn't admit to this, but he is secretly awed by Lemmy's natural emotional maturity. He often thinks about asking Lemmy for advice or just having him as someone to talk to about his anxieties and fears, but never does because Lemmy is still rather young. He imagines confiding in his younger brother about these things one day, when he's older. (Here's another secret... Ludwig actually likes the circus.)

With Larry: Larry is the one Ludwig parents the most. Outside of missions for Bowser, Ludwig keeps a careful eye on his youngest sibling. That's a lot harder said than done, though; Larry is a hyper-energetic kid who's always wanting to do his own thing. Ludwig is constantly trying to teach Larry everything he can learn- which he's done a pretty good job with!- but keeps pushing Larry to do more and more, which frustrates and confuses the youngest. Ludwig just wants to ensure the youngest has everything he could ever need in life, but he comes off as though he's not proud of him sometimes. That is 100% not the case, but Ludwig is letting his fears and anxiety get the best of him. They do get along well, though. Larry enjoys playing with Ludwig, and typically succeeds in bringing out the elder's inner child. They have that special big-bro-little-bro bond.

💜 With Suzuka: Suzuka is Ludwig's one and only. He knew there was something special about him from the first time they met. They've been going steady for almost a year, and their love for one another just keeps growing. Ludwig will spend every second of his time with Suzie if he can help it. The two often indulge and collaborate on musical works and teach each other new things. Both koopas are well associated with the other's family, and frequent activities with them (such as dinner, helping out with chores, etc). Ludwig is usually the first to initiate physical affection, but both equally enjoy cuddling with each other at any time.

- Lore time... From the second time they met, he was drawn in even further after working together to help Iggy's stupid newest invention from destroying the jungle world (it's a long story). Suzie was smart, sweet and so unintentionally charismatic that Ludwig knew he had to forge a formal friendship with him. He thought it would be smooth sailing from there... But there was actually a small bump in the road. Ludwig was horrified that Suzie's favorite genre of music was metal (More specifically j-metal but to Ludwig it's all the same)! This actually upset Ludwig for a while, and he was not shy to share his opinions with Suzie. Suzie just went :3. He respected Ludwig's opinion, and it's not like he was unfamiliar with hatred towards rock genres as it was lol. Like the drama queen he is, Ludwig tried to distance himself, but Suzie just kept coming around... And played some classical on the piano to get him to come around. Which totally worked. And wooed Luddy for the first time. So Ludwig decided he would try to grow as a person (or Koopa??) for Suzie. He was way too special to ditch over something silly. The months would pass, the feelings would grow, and we end up at Christmas. With the holiday spirit in the air, Ludwig finds he can't keep it a secret anymore and confesses to Suzie. The two have been going steady ever since!

F͟u͟n͟ F͟a͟c͟t͟s͟

Ludwig is a big foodie, with a heavy preference for sweets. He would autistically explain to you the history behind a dish and how it should be made/served

He went completely deaf at some point when he was 14. No one is sure how or why. He used typical hearing aids for a while, until Iggy devised his own pair that Ludwig could wear 24/7 without causing discomfort. They are charged by geothermal energy. If Ludwig happens upon a place where the heat from the Earth cannot easily reach up to the surface (for example somewhere very cold), the hearing aids will go into manual charge mode and have 24 hours of battery.

While Ludwig didn't had a partner before Suzuka, he did go on some dates in the past. Maybe 5 or 6? [I'm undecided lmao] They were all boys of higher class or with some title to their name from neighboring kingdoms, with the exception of one who was a Koopa troop guard in training. Ludwig doesn't really talk to them anymore, but would say hello if running into them.

His tail will wag when he's feeling affection for someone. Hugging a sibling? Little tail wags. Snuggling Suzie? Big tail wags. You get it

Is a total romantic. Will do the corniest things but look good doing it because of his talents in music and acting. He enjoys showing pda, usually through hand holding or keeping his partner close to his side at all times.

His favorite play is probably The Phantom of the Opera

He resonates with victorian goth

Claims to be ruthless, but has anyone actually ever seen him display such intense behavior that went beyond words?

- Even so, he does get a bit cuckoo at times. It may be a result of neurosis.

He actually doesn't use hairspray or gel

Of the siblings with hair, he's been able to teach Larry and Lemmy how to do theirs

He's fairly easy to annoy. It makes for fun pranks and jokes to pull on him

As stated in Bowser Jr.'s Journey, he's quite good at lying, deceiving, and negotiating. You may wanna be cautious around him.

It's really not that hard to make friends with Ludwig. It's just very dependent on the circumstances under which you meet.

[leiandroid]

yakuza / bratva au

extremely important note about this au is that, being russian, ino's name is ino yamanavka xD

many ramblings about this au vvv

hinata is the first daughter of the yakuza's hyuuga family. she murders her father in cold blood with his own katana after a psychotic break. hanabi becomes the boss by default and is out for hinata's head for revenge. hinata runs away to russia. she regains awareness somewhere in russia after her episode and after a few weeks is found by low level bratva members that answer to a certain faction led by ino.

ino is instantly taken by this exotic yet dangerous beauty and recognises that she's not all right up there. instead of wasting her she takes her in, much to the familys protest, and makes hinata her right hand. ino's goals are to climb the ranks and take over the entire russian mafia as the top leader.

hinata has reverted to a "childlike" state for self preservation. she is shy and cheerful and nervous and meek; qualities her father literally beat out of her to shape her up to becoming the next head of the hyuuga. despite this, hanabi would be the one to grow up to be the ruthless protege he always wanted and so tossed hinata to the side. the trauma endured and the pressure and ostracisation by the whole clan caused her to eventually snap.

the guilt and grief of killing her father then has her reverted to a childlike state where she constantly seeks for his approval. she took her father's sword with her and his "spirit" lives in the sword. she seeks the swords approval and talks to it as if it were hiashi himself. and in her mind the sword praises her for how far she's become, berates her for her mistakes, etc.

when she kills she becomes hysterically insane, and in the aftermath she becomes cold and unfeeling for some time before she goes back to her normal childlike state. basically she lives in a constant state of disassociation / multiple personalities (?)

ino manipulates her to do her bidding, assures her she's okay, that she's amazing, that her father is so proud of her. she eases hinata's nerves and anxieties with sweet words and sex.

ino came from a poor background where her father sold her to the bratva for money and medicine to help his sick wife. she grew up in the mafia and was used and abused all throughout. every year, every day that passed, ino would have an ever growing hitlist; members that raped her, beat her, humiliated her, etc. and on the top of that list was her fathers name.

when she was old enough to put her plans to fruition, she tracked down her parents house only to find that they had died long ago. not being able to have the last word she is fueled by hatred and goes on a killing spree on the rest of her list and kills her boss and takes his place and threatens the remaining living members of the faction to either join her or die.

over time she becomes a terrible and horrifying leader and is now the boss of a significantly large faction that has control of a sizeable area in moscow.

she has spent time in prison where she received most of her tattoos. (dot under the eye to denote homosexuality, rose to indicate that she turned 18 in prison, nautical stars that tell of her authority, eyes on her chest to mean she is always watching, "cyka" a forced tattoo calling her a bitch, spider to show that she's an active criminal, gun to show she's killed and is/was for hire to kill, roundstone that means trust no one, and various other tattoos with real world meanings).

half her face was burned with battery acid in prison. her back is littered with scars from cuts and from lashes as disciplinary measures growing up in the mafia.

hinata's irezumi tattoos include motifs of ame no uzume that represents inner beauty and kindness, with various other details like bamboo and ginko leaves and little creatures like crabs and goldfish that represent strength, perseverance, sacrifice and loyalty.

ino genuinely cares for hinata in a very fucked up, selfish, and narcisstic way. their relationship is very complex. ino has a girl that constantly seeks her dead fathers approval, and ino has to act like the concept of a father doesn't sicken her to her bones. in a way, they both drive each other mad. ino grows to hate the sword that has part of hinata's love and attention, but understands that if the sword were to disappear then hinata would too (mind and body).

ino drives hinata to kill, which frays her mind a bit more every time, and in turn the energy ino puts into not letting hinata fall apart at the seams causes her a great deal of stress and gets in the way of a lot of her plans to take over. by the end of their conquests they are barely held together by a thread.

they do get very far together but they meet a grim fate when after hinata is forced to kill a child, she loses the last thread keeping her together then murders ino then kills herself immediately after. they become stuff of legends within the mafia.

[mykelneedssleep]

I had the realization today that I dont think I’ve ever spoken about my son on here and since a lot of you know me for podcast content this needs to be rectified immediately so I present to you my first born son: Nureyev

Yes, as in Peter Nureyev. Hilariously this is the most accurate name I have ever chosen for anything because this little bitch has such Peter Nureyev vibes it’s actually crazy. I present a list of random facts about him that I can think of off the top of my head:

1. Literally the first day I had him one of the first things we found out about this tiny little baby was that if there’s a dead cricket in his tank you bet your ass he’s not eating it. This bougie ass bitch only eats live prey. You physically don’t understand how often I have to buy him food because god forbid it dies before he kill it, he’d actually rather starve than eat a dead bug. I can attest to that because one time there was a cricket shortage in my area because it was so cold that all the crickets were dying in transport and this little bitch actually went days without eating because he wouldn’t eat the dead crickets (I finally got him to eat by pushing them around with a clear plastic spoon to make it look like they were moving- lying to your kids works folks)

2. He makes regular attempts to escape from his tank by climbing up the glass. Despite 4 years of trying it still hasn’t worked once but he’s determined he’s going to do it one of these times

3. My mother who typically lovingly refers to him as Nev (“his name is longer than he is, I’m giving him a nickname” -my mother approximately 10 minutes after his name was chosen, took her 3 more days to come up with Nev) will often refer to him as Pete if he’s doing something bad (see above escape attempt). This is particularly funny in the presence of people who are unaware of this nickname but aware enough to know the names of all the animals in our home because they become very confused

4. “The thief is on the prowl” is a very common phrase in our home, this typically means someone has to feed the boy because he’s stalking around the tank looking for living creatures to torment and finding none

5. He regularly sticks his entire head into his water bowl and just leaves it there for a little bit until I become quite convinced that he’s going to drown and then he will just get up and walk away like he didn’t just give me a heart attack

6. If you’re holding him he will climb all over you and somehow find a place to randomly jump off from (again, heart attack every time). Hearing “Nureyev!” said loudly in a concerned but sort of exasperated way is very common

7. If one of his water bowls is empty he will lay in it to get you to pay attention to the fact that it has no water in it but will then refuse to move when you go to put water in it and will become very upset when you eventually give up and just pour water onto him (the above photo was taken directly after I deep cleaned his tank and before I put the water back in, shockingly he looked quite cute instead of seriously pissed off like usual)

8. He likes to have the high ground (he likes to climb on top of people’s heads and just sit there and watch the world as you walk around and continue what you were previously doing. Luckily he has never attempted to jump off someone’s head before)

9. Very dramatic sleeper. I’m talking will sleep in the weirdest positions but like you do you king, if that’s comfy I endorse it

10. He regularly hides in any available nook and/or cranny in the tank. This is yet another cause of great stress for me when I cannot find him

Bonus fact: This bougie bitch was approximately half of the inspiration behind how I play Lizzie (shoutout O!ASKAP enjoyers, this one’s for you). If you’re wondering the other half is simply my penchant for playing the least helpful character I can possibly get away with

[electronickingdomfox]

"Planet of Judgment" review

A novel from 1977, by Joe Haldeman. It begins with a rather generic "stranded on dinosaur planet" plot, but then the story becomes far more unhinged and entertaining. By the end, I was wondering what drugs was the author taking. So yeah, recommended novel, for sheer insanity.

As usual, Spock is gay. Also, McCoy is probably gay too.

Spoilers under the cut:

The Enterprise arrives at a strange rogue planet, with its own artificial sun. Of course Kirk has to investigate the anomalous planet (aptly named "Anomaly"), and he lands there with some security guys in a shuttlecraft. The fact that the transporter doesn't work, should be hint enough that this planet is trouble. They encounter giant beasts similar to dinosaurs. Also pterodactyls. And soon discover that the usual laws of physics don't apply as they should. Their phasers only work on stun, they have no communications, and the shuttlecraft is dead. So far, no redshirt has died, so the Enterprise sends another shuttlecraft with more redshirts just in case. At last, since it's obvious everyone is trapped on that planet, Spock decides to send three more shuttlecrafts with a ton of people (including himself, McCoy, Chapel and Uhura) so the party can begin.

The first part of the novel deals with the crew trying to survive in the wild environment. There's also two strange, stream-of-consciousness scenes to show Kirk and McCoy's dreams. The crew spots some hominid creatures that they take for cavemen. Also, two redshirts finally die. One being half-eaten by a giant flower, in a surprisingly gory scene. There's more body horror ahead, as one injured redshirt vanishes suddenly, and returns the next day significantly changed. He has no eyes, ears or nose, as if they had never been there in the first place, and hair is quickly covering his whole body. It's discovered then, that the supposed cavemen are actually a very advanced telepathic race, and have mutated the crewman into one of their own, to better communicate and study the humans. (By the way, the crewman is very happy with the changes.)

The aliens, called Arivne, only need the scientists (Spock, McCoy and three others) for their experiments, so everyone else is sent back to the Enterprise. Then, they force them to relive traumatic moments of their past, in order to learn things like "decision-making" or "betrayal", which their species, living in perfect unity, doesn't know. There are interesting glimpses into Spock and McCoy's past, as part of these visions. Such as Spock being bullied by his human cousins as a child, or McCoy's divorce. It's finally revealed that the Arivne are doing all this to prepare against the attack of other, insectoid aliens, that will soon invade the whole galaxy (McCoy describes one as an "ugly son of a bitch"). The aliens, called Irapina, are sending first three champions to test the waters. If Spock, McCoy and Kirk (who's been returned to the planet to not miss the fight) can defeat the three Irapina, they'll withdraw to invade another, less interesting place (like the Romulan Empire).

This is where things become really, really weird. As the battles against the Irapina take place inside hallucinations, that can nonetheless kill the loser (a bit as in "Spectre of the Gun"). Come to think of it, something similar happened in "Spock Must Die". These early novels truly loved their hallucinations... We have McCoy battling the baby Irapina in a poker game, set in the Wild West. Which ends with McCoy decapitating the alien with a card. Yeah. Spock takes a math quiz on a sinking game board. Then Kirk fights in a naval battle against pirates, while Spock is busy inside a star, trying to make it go nova (Spock has practice with this, as earlier he had created a volcano by pushing to the surface from a planet's core).

Anyway, it's all gloriously crazy. Even though the ending seemed a bit rushed. There are also some seemingly abandoned plot threads. For example, the love triangle between a female scientist, another guy and a professor. I thought that these three characters would have more relevance later on, but eventually, nothing is done with them.

Spirk Meter: 7/10*. I was determined to give this novel a low rating, even a zero. After all, how slashy can it be if Kirk and Spock barely interact? It turns out, it can be fairly slashy... For starters, the most traumatic experience in Spock's past that the Arivne could find, was his battle against Kirk in Amok Time and the thought he had killed him (the whole sequence is taken from Blish novelization, which is a rather lazy way to fill pages, if you ask me). Relieving the scene makes Spock cry actual tears. Then, what is Spock's biggest worry while stranded on the planet? Being eaten by dinosaurs? Nah! The greatest danger for him is that Chapel would try to seduce him! Even though poor Chapel doesn't even interact with him in the whole novel, and has been nothing but professional. He goes as far as suggesting that McCoy seduces her, to get rid of Chapel himself (too bad for Spock, McCoy's gay too; more on this later). So far, this isn't much. But then, near the ending, it's Spock's love for Kirk that saves the whole galaxy once more. During the final confrontation, the Irapina cheat at the game and merge the two hallucinations: Kirk battling on the pirate ship, and Spock creating a supernova. If Spock succeeds at his test, the heat from the nova will kill Kirk. Of course, he chooses to fail his test and die himself, so Kirk has a chance. He does it out of "logic, morality, and a vestige of an emotion he might deny: love" (direct quote). The Irapina hadn't predicted such sacrifice in the name of love, so they declare the battle null, which gives Kirk and Spock another chance.

This is as far as Kirk and Spock are concerned. Now, what's the deal with McCoy? For starters, during his dream sequence, he wonders about the fact that he has never been truly interested in a woman, not even his wife. Later, Spock asks McCoy to explain sex and love to him, since he doesn't understand why Chapel is so interested in him. McCoy explains that women (and men) are attracted to power, which Spock has; intellect, which Spock has in spades; fairness, which is congenital for Spock (these are his words); and of course, that mysterious aura of strangeness, that is so very Spock's... And yeah, it doesn't seem AT ALL that McCoy has reflected a lot about Spock's appeal... After this, Spock asks him to seduce Chapel himself. McCoy refuses as he doesn't see Chapel that way. Spock assures him that he won't ask him to do anything against his nature, to which McCoy becomes very defensive. There's a long passage then, where McCoy ponders about his reasons to prefer the other female scientist in the party (all very un-romantic, practical reasons) over Chapel. As well as the fact that, despite being familiar with the female body because of his work as a doctor, he kind of fails when it comes to women. Something that he can't confess to Spock, but has confided to Chapel; the reason why he can't see her as a lover, and why Chapel can't be attracted to him either. What does Chapel know? It's also noteworthy, that this whole scene serves absolutely no purpose for the plot, since Chapel disappears from the story quite early and nothing happens between her and Spock. Last but not least, during the re-enactment of McCoy's divorce, we learn that a major reason for his wife abandoning him is that she was sexually frustrated. And neither of them were happy in their marriage. McCoy doesn't take it so bad, joining Starfleet right afterwards... So yeah, in my opinion, there's something about all this that screams "closeted homosexual".

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home thoughts!!!

Love me some good ol’ treks and I know this is the one with the whales (which reminds me of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy)

Warning for spoiling the whole movie (don’t cry over spoiled movie if you don’t have to! Go watch it for yourself!)

Let’s get going:

- A LEONARD NIMOY FILM ?!?

- okay Harve Bennett. I see you in the credits.

- I like the Saratoga crew. Too bad they’re probably gonna die immediately

- HIII SAREK!!! God he’s hot I hate him so much

- “Personal bias! His son was saved by Kirk.” His son is also married to Kirk so…

- McCoy got to choose the name of the ship :))

- Kirk’s wearing the same shirt.. oh wait they all are nvm

- Spock on a rock

- Hi Amanda!

- “Spock, the retraining of your mind has been in the Vulcan way so you may not understand feelings, but as my son, you have them.”

- Amanda trying to tell Spock that his friends care about him so much that they go against what is logical and it mirrors how in journey to babel Spock was not willing to sacrifice the good of the many (the ship) for the good of the one (his father) so I’m wondering if they will have an arc for him realizing that sometimes you want the one and not the many

- I like the problems they keep having with projectors/videos. Or not exactly problems but in the beginning they had to ask multiple times for the video to stop playing and here they are just talking over the transmission in the background. It adds a sense of confusion and havoc that I think makes it delightfully more realistic

- The Bird of Prey is such a beautiful design

- “I did not wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral.” lol nice Chekov

- Nooo Spock and Saavik don’t have the mentor/mentee vibes anymore :(((

- Kirk really wants Spock to call him Jim… he misses his husband :(

- Bones is right. And then he leaves Kirk with the “That’s what I thought.” And the entire bridge crew is just like ‘don’t engage, look away, the husbands are fighting but just don’t look.’

- The copy pasted Saavik and Amanda

- “Hi. Busy?” McCoy sliding over to Spock

- McCoy just say you’re happy he’s back. He misses his verbal sparring buddy omg

- “Forgive me, Doctor, I’m receiving a number of distress calls.” McCoy is SHOCKED like, ‘did he just purposely reject me???’ I’m crying

- sad! Your husband died and now he doesn’t want to fight with you!!

- hi bitch! (It’s Sarek)

- THEY PUT EYELINER ON CHEKOV!

- THE PROBE SOUNDS LIKE WHALES ???

- so the transmission is for whales. That’s cool.

- Uhura would make a sick DJ. She’s remixing the whale sounds

- “Bones, you stay here.” “No way. Somebody’s got to keep an eye on him.” He’s trying to look out for his husbands

- love sci fi that is like ‘sea creatures interacting with space hmmm yess I think it will’ cause if you think about it, there’s a lot of sea that is unexplored just like space (yeah I’m talking about HGttG again)

- SPOCK SAYS SAVE THE FUCKING WHALES

- McCoy DOES NOT want them to travel back in time

- HII CHAPEL HIIII

- The chaos in the control room with someone on the screen talking over everyone else in the room… perfection

- Sometimes Kirk sounds like Seth Macfarlane

- “You really gonna try time travel in this rust bucket?” “We’ve done it before.” “Sure. Slingshot around the sun, pick up enough speed and you’re in time warp. If you don’t, you’re fried.” “You prefer to do nothing?” “I prefer a dose of common sense. You’re proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them froward in time, drop them off, and hope to hell they tell this probe what to go do with itself.” “That’s the general idea.” “Well, that’s crazy.” “You have a better idea? Now’s the time.” Yep. That summarizes it better than I could ever. How McCoy stays married to this man is a mystery

- The command base hears that Kirk is going to time travel and PANICS

- “May fortune favour the foolish.” Good Kirk line

- The ship is actively falling apart

- They’re back in time!

- Sulu lore! he was born in sanfransico or however you spell it

- McCoy trying not to laugh at Spock’s little bandana. Kirk smiles for a second and then remembers himself

- THEYRE IN THE WILD! SET LOSE! Who let them roam free?!

- Winchell’s Donut House. Wonder if that’s still open. Or real. Damn, I want donuts.

- Kirk almost getting run over “Well a double dumbass on you!” And then he throws up his hands omg I love him

- They’re all slaying

- “The rest of you, break up. You look like a cadet review.” They’re all kinda lost tho

- Spock in the pawn shop is looking like, ‘those were a birthday present from our husband. Why would you give them away :(‘

- Kirk and his powerful skills of deduction. He won’t let Spock just infodump :(

- They’re all really good looking.

- UHURA AND CHEKOV TEAM UP! Something I didn’t know I needed (I need it)

- NO LITTLE RUSSIAN BOY! Don’t ask for directions from a cop to a nuclear weapons base in the 1980s!

- SPOCK NERVE PINCHING THE PUNK ON THE BUS LOL

- “No one pays attention to you unless you swear every other word.” WELL. Okay. I’m not offended. At all.

- Spock frowning at the whales dying on the screen

- “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.” There’s a lot of times you think ‘Vulcans can be emotionless which could equal cruelty’ but looking at this, humans with emotions turn out more cruel because that is an emotion. We want and are greedy. It’s surprising that Vulcans are friends with humans because of just how much illogical carnage we have wrought. Anyway.

- Hey Jim. Where’s Spock?

- Kirk becoming more and more worried that he can’t find Spock. And then he turns around AND HES IN THE TANK.. this is why McCoy wants to come along. Jim cannot watch him well enough

- Spock’s ass can’t believe he went in there to mind meld with the whales

- Sopping wet Spock

- “The hell they did.” SPOCK SWEAR OMG

- “Can’t you remember?” “The hell I can’t.” I love him so much, he’s being a little shit, this is on purpose. I think writers should let him say hell and other expletives more often

- “Oh come on, Bob! I don’t know about you, but my compassion for someone is not limited to my estimate of their intelligence.” DID YALL IN THE BACK HEAR THIS???

- Uhura and Chekov on the beach with the seagulls

- Gillian’s got a “I ❤️ whales” sticker on her truck. I love her.

- “I think he did a little to much LDS.” I think Kirk meant to say Spock does LSD? I’m assuming?

- This lady just picked up two husbands trying to save the whales.. that’s very lucky for her

- “Are you sure it isn’t time for a colourful metaphor.” LET SPOCK SAY FUCK

- “You guys like Italian?” Spock and Kirk proceeding to fight by saying no and yes repeatedly is my favourite

- They’re just letting Scotty and McCoy roam around???

- I love McCoy and Scotty improvising together, and Scotty going off and getting upset

- “May my assistant join us?” “Don’t bury yourself in the part.”

- Sulu just gets to nerd out about helicopters

- McCoy sitting on any and all surfaces like it’s a chair. Scotty joining him.

- McCoy handing Scotty the mouse like he’s so proud of himself

- McCoy’s got his ✨dazzling✨ eyes on rn

- “We’d be altering the future.” “Well, how do you know he didn’t invent the thing.” Scotty. That’s not how time travel works.

- So basically McCoy gets Jim and Spock out of trouble but gets into trouble when he’s with Scotty

- THEYRE JUST LEAVING SPOCK IN THE PARK oh wait he’s going to the ship

- Get yourself a partner who would cry over whales

- “I’m from Iowa, I only work in outer space.” This man smh

- Oh no. Get Chekov out of there. Holy shit.

- “Must be the radiation.” He proceeds to throw the phaser at the guy and then runs out the door

- Gillian not afraid to slap Bob over whales

- Did- did Sulu steal a helicopter? Yes. Yes he did.

- Gillian sees Spock with his ears and eyebrows and she’s like ‘yeah makes sense’

- “Admiral, may I suggest that Dr. McCoy is correct?” Spock agrees with McCoy. 208 dead, 15 injured

- Gillian is surrounded by the polycule. She just wants her whales to be safe.

- McCoy is literally the best. He saw this person suffering and then immediately helped

- “Uh, excuse me, we’ll take that.” They steal the gurney and Gillian immediately hops onto it. I love her.

- “This woman has immediate postprandial upper abdominal distension.” “What did you say she’s got?” “Cramps” McCoy saw the security and went ‘Yep they’re stupid’ he didn’t even bother with a proper lie

- In an argument between a 20th century doctor and McCoy, I would bet McCoy any and every time

- I love when McCoy is just.. appalled at old medicine

- Chekov slowly regaining awareness and he lifts his head only for Kirk to push his face down with a, ‘not now, Pavel.’

- I like how the crew right now have been using Chekov’s first name and are protective of him.

- Sulu immediately being there to help Chekov get back on the ship 🥺🥺🥺

- This woman is so into whales that she would time travel for them

- Is McCoy sitting on the console and leaning over it to talk to talk to Spock? Yes, yes he is.

- “Well, then you’re just gonna have to take your best shot.” “Best shot?” “Guess, Spock.” “Guessing is not in my nature, Doctor.” “Well, nobody’s perfect.” He lets that last line drawl and then stares at Spock for a little too long. That’s flirting.

- That was the most intense countdown. I felt like something might happen to the whales within those ten seconds and I was worried

- “So I will make a… guess.” McCoy is rubbing off on Spock

- “No, Spock. He [Kirk] means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people’s facts.” Hehe

- She was so happy just staring at her whales but then Kirk goes and interrupts that

- “I belong here, I am a whale biologist.” They are so lucky that they ran into someone THIS interested in whales

- McCoy resists the urge to just look at Spock when they’re travelling back to their time

- I like how there’s a hatch leading outside on the bridge… of a spaceship.

- forgot how hot Kirk’s poofy sleeves are

- They have a scene where everyone just gets absolutely drenched

- I’m so glad they didn’t have subtitles for the whales and probes. It’s more realistic for the universe. Starfleet doesn’t know what they’re saying, the crew doesn’t know what they’re saying, we shouldn’t know what they’re saying. It’s not how the universe works.

- They’re cheering for whales. I love when people cheer for things

- They’re all playing in the water omg this is adorable

- hi bitch (Sarek)

- Jim walks in with McCoy right behind him and Spock goes to join them from where he’s sitting

- I love Scotty’s little moustache it’s so :<

- McCoy is NOT listening, he’s got like nyan cat theme playing in his head

- THEY GAVE HIM COMMAND OF A STARSHIP FOR DISOBEYING ORDERS?!?

- I think McCoy should run up to Spock and Kirk and get them to kiss here

- Scott and Sulu arguing over which ship they think they’ll get <3

- McCoy is leaning so sluttily on the new bridge

The credits just showing pictures of each of the cast is adorable

See ya on the flip flop

Masterpost

[fanfic-lover-girl]

I wish Hagrid would burn in fictional hell

‘Because she’ll never be as good as Hagrid,’ said Harry firmly, fully aware that he had just experienced an exemplary Care of Magical Creatures lesson and was thoroughly annoyed about it.

‘We’ve got to go and see him,’ said Harry. ‘This evening, after Divination. Tell him we want him back … You do want him back?’ he shot at Hermione. ‘I – well, I’m not going to pretend it didn’t make a nice change, having a proper Care of Magical Creatures lesson for once – but I do want Hagrid back, of course I do!’ Hermione added hastily, quailing under Harry’s furious stare.

To the class’s horror, Hagrid proceeded to explain that the reason the Skrewts had been killing each other was an excess of pent-up energy, and that the solution would be for each of the class to fix a leash on a Skrewt and take it for a short walk.

Their thick grey armour, their powerful, scuttling legs, their fire-blasting ends, their stings and their suckers, combined to make the Skrewts the most repulsive things Harry had ever seen. Most of the class – Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle in the lead – had fled into Hagrid’s cabin through the back door and barricaded themselves in; Harry, Ron and Hermione, however, were among those who remained outside trying to help Hagrid.

‘Hagrid’s been in loads of trouble before, and Dumbledore’s never sacked him,’ said Ron consolingly. ‘Worst that can happen is Hagrid’ll have to get rid of the Skrewts. Sorry … did I say worst? I meant best.’

‘What are these fascinating creatures called?’ she asked, beaming still more widely. ‘Blast-Ended Skrewts,’ grunted Hagrid. ‘Really?’ said Rita, apparently full of lively interest. ‘I’ve never heard of them before … where do they come from?’ Harry noticed a dull red flush rising up out of Hagrid’s wild black beard, and his heart sank. Where had Hagrid got the Skrewts from? ‘Lovely,’ said Rita. ‘Really lovely. Been teaching long?’ she added to Hagrid. Harry noticed her eyes travel over Dean (who had a nasty cut across one cheek), Lavender (whose robes were badly singed), Seamus (who was nursing several burnt fingers), and then to the cabin windows, where most of the class stood, their noses pressed against the glass, waiting to see if the coast was clear.

I will always hate Hagrid. This blog is a Hagrid hate blog whenever that piece of trash is mentioned. And Harry is scum by association. There are WAY more book snippets that demonstrate why these two HP characters deserve to burn in hell together.

Whenever people bitch about Draco bullying Hagrid by trying to get him fired, remember these simple facts:

Hagrid is not a qualified teacher.

He has not completed formal education.

Everyone knows Hagrid is a bad teacher, including the trio.

Harry tries to gaslight/intimate others into believing Hagrid is a good teacher including his friends, especially Hermione.

Everyone, except nitwit horrid Harry, is happy to have a competent teacher.

Even though Harry knows Hagrid is a bad teacher, he works desperately to get the man his job back.

Others are sad when Hagrid returns.

Hagrid puts students in physical danger in his classes.

The people who call out Hagrid publicly for being a bad teacher are labelled as antagonists: Draco + other Slytherins, Rita, and Dolores.

Hagrid pawns off his illegal and/or dangerous dealings into the hands of children (re Grawp and Norbert)

HAGRID DESERVES TO BE FIRED! HE NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIRED IN THE FREAKING FIRST PLACE!

And Harry is a self-centred, selfish, stupid, inconsiderate, lowlife piece of vermin for helping to RUIN HIS CLASSMATES' EDUCATION!

I wish Harry and Hagrid freaking died in HP! And Albus Severus should have been Albus Rubeus for real. Severus is too good a name for a low-IQ Potter offspring.

Ok, hate rant over. Draco deserves justice for speaking the truth about Hagrid. For being punished for saying what everyone else was thinking. Screw Harry and Hagrid!

[blauequuleus]

Okay so I’ve never played any Kingdom Hearts games and I’ve only watched the first 2 hours of a play through of the first game.

I’m gonna list everything I know through just internet osmosis. So tell me how off the mark I am on some of this (If I spell names wrong I’m sorry and be nice please)

Sora, Riku, and Kari(?), have all grown up together and play on this island with no parents in sight or a house or anything but island kids running around (do they have parents and houses to go home to? Or is this just Peter Pan style island of lost kids)

They want to leave the island and go on an adventure together

Kari just kinda showed up one day

Sora has a crush on Kari but has not a lot of interactions with her but is constantly talking about Riku and chasing after him

Kari I’m sorry sweetie as far as I can tell you’re the old trope of “this is girl character who is girl and main love interest that will spend 99% of the plot damsel’d and doing nothing -probably knocked out- and the last 1% she spends reassuring the main male lead in some way and has no personality outside of that” (this could be radically different in the games and she actually has a personality that doesn’t revolve around the main lead Sora needing to rescue her but all of the scenes I’ve seen from the games she’s either just standing there or is knocked out)

Riku and Sora have so mush chemistry people are convinced they are in love (to be fair every thing I’ve seen from the games has them constantly obsessing over each other more so than anyone else. Half their lines seem to be each others names. So yeah big rainbow energy coming off of them)

Also don’t they like combine swords or something into a big weapon… 👀🏳️‍🌈

Isn’t there matching wedding rings for Sora and Rikus swords cause if so that’s cute

Main game plot point is Sora, Goofy and Donald jumping around in a Gummy Ship?? to all the different Disney properties and movies and these are all treated like different worlds (is Star Wars in there now cause that’s a galaxy in and of itself, how does that work????)

Donald was dunked on for years as a terrible healer until he nuked a guy and the internet went insane over it

Micky Mouse is a king

Idk where the fuck Minnie is or Daisy

This is all connected to Final Fantasy games somehow. Cloud and Sephiroth(??) are connected to this (I have not played the Final Fantasy games either so idk what this means. I know it’s the same developers but haven’t they been in the KH games??)

The Halloween Town designs are cool looking

Sora gets a wardrobe change per world (species change for little mermaid?? And maybe others??)

Why his shoes too big lookin for his feet

Heartless are little shadow guys that are made from people having their heart/soul ripped out

There’s basically an apocalypse on every world cause of these heartless little creatures (but only main characters seem to notice them??? Everyone else going about their day which is a mood)

The Pirates of the Caribbean one is hyper realistic but Sora still looks like anime guy which is weird

Maleficent is keeps being a boss bitch but still dies for it

Doors and keys are super important

Sora and Riku have heartless but theirs get people forms but they don’t look like who they come from that shit is reversed for some reason

There’s like 3-4 just for Sora and none of them look like him

Riku got a stalker in some guy named Xnort(???how spell???) who possesses Riku at some point

This Xnort little old ass seems to have a habit of this possession thing and uses time travel?? to just keep possessing people

Eyes turn yellow when he does

He started a war for a specific heart??

Keyblade War (no idea what this is or means I just know it’s a thing)

There’s another trio that timeline wise came before the OG trio from the first game that was in the war

Xnort got the buff guy one, the other guy is in Sora but not?? turned into sparkles and possessed Sora but also didn’t, and the blue haired girl is out here working the hardest but she on a deserted island in the void

Micky also ends up chilling with her there at some point

Woody roasts a guy

How the fuck does the Toy Story world work if there’s people and sentient toys???? Why does Sora become a toy there if he a people

Sora wasn’t supposed to wield the keyblade Riku was but his dumbass got corrupted so Sora got it (?)

Riku got another one

I think everyone has kinda died at some point but they all got better

Sora got trapped in dream world by blonde Kari that drew pictures about it

Blonde Kari isn’t evil she was just chilling with a comatose Sora

Riku went through a lot to get his boyfriend back

There’s an organization that’s connected to Xnort guy that wears black robes

There is another set of Riku, Sora and Kari copies there

The third Kari black haired goes out Master Oogway style but with glitter

There’s a red haired guy there that talks big shit but is constantly getting his ass kicked

There are so many spin-off games that have a lot of lore in them and the titles only make sense to people deep in the fandom trenches and lore

Those titles got fractions and shit in them

The Disney princesses played a major role at some point but idk if that’s still a thing

Those stain glass window levels are gorgeous

Sora is a people pleaser who dies for it

But unlike everyone else getting better from it, as he also has in the past, Sora is now gone gone but also not and next game may be in basically purgatory which is kinda our world (so many jokes there)

Riku gonna be on quest 2 of save his boyfriend and is sad now cause of it

Poor Riku he went through his emo phase in the first game and now his punishment for it is running after and saving a serial self sacrificing people pleaser that can’t say no and who keeps dieing from it

Let me know if I was close at all to being right about some things and what I got wrong.

[emocl0wnpp]

Because i'm in a fankid frenzy again,time to properly introduce my babies!!(part1)

(Also in the current canon they're all adults-)

Also they're all in the same friendgroup-

So first we have Claws' and Jack's kids,Liam and Lau

A little about them

Liam:

He was adopted when he was 7(he died as a human and due to a mistake,ended up in hell where Claws found him as a little ghostie creature-)

The doll he "uses as his body" was made to look like Jack(duh) because he looked up to his father as a child

Though as he grew older he looked up to Claws more and more

The doll is made out of porcelain btw-

He knows how to play the piano :D

He was in his school's sport team(main reason why he's buff as hell)

He's very much..expressionless,and has trouble expressing his emotions in general

He's kind of like a mime

But he's a very sweet guy tho!

He's gay..very gay #manlover

He owns a casino in the underworld and is kind of a maffia leader,but still works under Zalgo

Lost some of his colors :((

Mama's boy(the good kind-)

His best friends are Floss,Jay,Corn,Berry and Alan(they'll be mentioned later)

Absolutely spoils Alan(his bf) even if he can't show affection/love properly

Knows his way around guns

If you need a gun he knows where to get them(from him)

Very much overprotective of Lau

Jill's favourite (and only) nephew

Now Lau!

Same story as Liam,except she was adopted when she was 6(Liam was 12 by that time)

The pretty pink princess of her family

Very much a daddy's girl

Jack spoiled her rotten when she was a kid

But thankfully Claws didn't let her to become a spoiled brat

...she's still a brat though,but a likeable one

She was the pretty cheer captain of her school :D

And she was in the theatre club too

Pretty much a Draculaura, Regina George, and Heather C. kind of gal

She works as a model in the underworld (she rich rich)

Loves having girl's only days with Claws(we love a wholesome mother-daughter duo)

Her besties are Cheryl,Jenna and Floss(will be mentioned later)

Makes Jack carry her stuff when she goes shopping

Actually she makes Jay(her husband),Liam AND Jack carry her shit-

Biggest girl's girl out there.

HUGE Millionares and Britney Spears fan

Despite her "bimbo" persona,she's hella smart

Jill's favourite (and only) niece

Next up are the trouble trio..Vicky and Candy's sons Candy Floss(just Floss or Flossy), Candy Corn(or just Corn) and Jay(the pics are in this order)

First, Floss:

The oldest twin

Takes a lot of pride in being the oldest twin

He's a loveable jerk

Trans guy!! (Still dresses kind of feminine to break stereotypes)

Has a deep ass voice

His hair is dyed. Non if it was his real hair color(his og hair is the same color as Jay's)

He takes after his dad Candy a lot..like a LOT

But he's a momma's boy like Liam-

He had to do cheerleading instead of being in the sports team bc his coach was an asshole,but during his senior year he was allowed to play in the team :D

Bullies his brothers as a form of love

Ngl he's kind of a jerk to everyone but it's his love language

Pretty boy™️

Does modelling with Lau :D

His best friends are Liam,Alan,Jenna,Cheryl and ofc,his brothers

Has a ferret named Noodles

Despite his jerk personality,he's an absolute loverboy when it comes to his lovely wife Jenna

Next up,Corn!

The middle son of the 3

Pretty much the quiet artsy kid

Who knows how to make bombs

Half of his face is burned,but he covers with it makeup

He has a strange shape-shifting ability that makes his colors change according to the seasons(will post it either here or in a p2 post)

He's probably the closest to Candy from his brothers

But he learned witchcraft from Vicky and very much enjoys it

He has a prostetic leg because of an accident(same as his burn marks)

He usually wears funky clothes

His wife is named Halloween :D (she's not my oc but one of my bff's,and idk if he has tumblr or no so i can't show her-)

Even tho he's quiet,when he snaps it's over. He can be a big bitch let's just say that-

But i swear he's a cool guy

His best friends are his brothers,Berry and Liam

He was also in the sports team alongside Liam

He stores stuff in is hair (his hair genuinely works as a portal-)

And last but not least, Jay and his assistant Opal the snake!

The youngest of the twins

And probably the oddball-

The sweetest guy alive

Literally THE husband material

But his heart already belongs to Lau :3

Matching west and bowtie with Liam!!

The patches on his shirt represent his brothers and friends

He owns many snakes,but Opal is his baby

Again,best husband out there,also spoiled Lau rotten

Got bullied by his brothers but loves them regardless

He's has a dad bod!

He has a little portal in his hat

He got Vicky's thick german accent-

Unlike his brothers,he learned a lot from Jason actually

His best friends are his brothers,Liam,Berry and Alan

Lau made him dye a pink strand in his hair-

His dream is to make his own circus and he works HARD to achive that

He's very The Greatest Showman coded

He'd probably love that movie too

Next iiiiis Jenna! The daughter of Jason the toymaker and Jade(i STILL didn't make a post of her-)

Prettiest doll out there!!

Looks a lot like her mom :3

Her eyes are made from glass

The sweetest girl out there

Daddy's girl,learned a LOT from Jason

Literally just a ray of sunshine

The kindest killer out there if there's a thing like that-

Besties with Lau and Cheryl <33

She did cheerleading too

But she loves all of her friends equally

Also an art kid like Corn-

Even though she's a sweet and well mannered girl,she got her anger from her dad-

She has a slight french accent because of her mom

Her parents did not approve of her relationship with Floss but she didn't care

She's pretty rebellious ngl

But other than that she's just a bundle of joy

Despite all these sweet things i listed for her she's lowkey like Jecka from Class of 09-

Also she's very much a Heather M. and Gretchen girl

Next up,Cheryl and Alan :D

First Cheryl:

Alan's twin :3(the older half)

She's mute and uses her mask to talk

Modded her mask to sound like Hatsune Miku once

Both of her arms and legs are prostetics(lost them in a fire related accident,along with her voice)

She's a proxy for Slendy

She usually hangs around Clockwork and Kate the Chaser when she's with the other proxies

But her besties are Lau and Jenna of course<33

But she's also friends with BEN and Toby

Both her and Alan are raised by their older sister Natasha

Lesbian women kisser woman lover♡♡♡

Heather D. and Karen kind of gal(she ain't dumb she just loves Karen with all her heart)

Girl failure but it's okay I love her

Did cheerleading with Lau and Jenna as well

Very good around tech and hacking

Her and BEN make a great duo when comes to tech

She learned sign language just to cuss people out

Now Alan:

Cheryl's twin(the younger half)

He gets bullied by Cheryl for being 0.1 second younger

He loves her with every fiber of his body tho

He's dyslexic

He's also a proxy for Slendy

He usually hangs around Masky Hoodie and Toby,they're like the brothers he never had

He looks up to Masky a LOT

But his best friends are Liam,Cheryl,the trouble trio and Berry

Gay

And Liam's biggest fan(we love a supporting boyfriend)

He used to be scared of Liam's family,especially Lau since they are in the same friendgroup

He got his burn mark in the same accident as Cheryl

Ngl he's kind of a jock himbo

Unless Liam is around then he's just a simp

Borrowed Hoodie's old,well,hoodie-

Helps Cheryl with tech stuff

Now time for the oddball of the group,Berry

Zalgo's son

No his full name isn't Berry i just forgot his actual name

Berry is just his nickname

Yes Zalgo got himself a son

Though Berry ain't nothing like him

He's canonically autistic btw and his special interest is humans+human biology!!

Let's not count how many humans Zalgo got killed for Berry

He surprisingly gets along with Lazari

Claws had to babysit him when he was little

Till this day he calls her mom by accident

His bestfriends are everyone in his friendgroup but he's the closest to Liam and Lau

He can be hella scary ngl

When he's mad or just really overwhelmed all hell is unleashed

He's over 5 meters/16 feet tall damn

He's fluffy unlike Zalgo

He made a lot of comments about his dad being all bones AND being bald

Zalgo babies him to death and he hates it a lot

He loves his dad tho

The person in the back holding him is his wife Y(who also belongs to the same friend as Halloween does)

He's a pretty sweet guy who can and will do wrong,but usually he's very friendly to those who are friendly to him

Notes:

Corn's different season looks along with some other kiddos will be included in another post bc i can't add more pics</3

Hope you enjoyed this tho!!

[radish-club]

It may be a few weeks before I start, but I'm probably gonna finally read Worm here soon. May even do a liveread if I feel like it.

I already know several of the major plot points BUT I I'm probably wrong in many places (as I was with Pact).

So before I start, I wanted to write a synopsis of what I think I know about Worm. This way I can refer back to this post and see how much I got wrong, what major things I was missing, etc.

What Worm is About (by someone who hasn't read Worm)

Big picture: there's alien entities called incubators shards who implant themselves in people and give them powers. Powers are triggered by traumatic events and are usually themed to said events. There is also an organization called Cauldron who tries to give powers in a controlled manner. Powered beings are called parahumans.

The main character is Taylor. She has the power to control bugs. She was triggerd by being bullied in high school. She was shoved into a locker full of used tampons and left there. I don't recall if that was the specific trigger event or just one instance of bullying.

She wants to be a hero and thinks of herself as a good, well intentioned person but is so so stupid. She goes out to fight crime, and meets up with teenage villains (called the Undersiders??). Against advice of established hero(es) she goes "undercover" with teen villains.

In doing so she gets deeper and deeper in. Does like bank robberies or some shit that go badly. People die. And so on.

At some point she officially joins heroes and there is a time skip but I don't know if these two things happen together.

Halfwayish through the book there is a big fight with a creature called Levithan in which several characters dies (and apparently the author rolled dice to see who would die, so it was possible even Taylor could have died in that fight).

At some point in the story Taylor kills several people. These include an established hero (Alexandria?) by suffocating her with bugs and also a baby but for the baby she uses a gun.

There is a parahuman with gold skin who was one of the OG parahumans back in the 80s. I don't remember his name but I do remember he is very Dead Wife Man Pain, so let's call him DWMP. DWMP has a fateful conversation with a villain named Jack Slash. Slash convinces him to destroy the world. Maybe alos other realities too?? (or maybe the same conversation is happening on multiple realities with multiple Slashes and DWMPs??)

There's apocalyptic event and Taylor gets someone (Amy/Panacea, I think) to enhance/alter her power so she can jump between realities. She then begins to gather parahumans from differently realities into a team to come together and take out DWMP with the power of teamwork and a giant laser.

They are not able to save the world they are currently on but a portion of Earth's population are evacuated from their current reality to an Earth with no humans where Ward takes place. One of these two earths is called Earth Bet.

Taylor's fate is left ambiguous. She maybe dies, she maybe fucks off to another reality. Maybe she become meguca idk.

Other Notes:

Taylor goes by 3 names: Skitter, Weaver, and Khepri

There a suite of powers called the Alexandrian Package bc they are the ones the parahuman Alexandria has. I think they are flight, semi-invulnerability, and strength (or maybe one of those is energy blasts)

there is a character named Bitch whose power is turning dogs into monster dogs. Media calls her Hellhound to be less controversial and she hates that.

There are sisters named Victoria (Glory Girl) and Amy (Panacea) the former of who is the protagonist of Ward. Amy turns Victoria into a Cronenberg at some point. Their relationship and respective characterizations across both books is a point of great controversy among fans. To put it lightly.

There is a character named Lab Rat who died(?) but he, in the form of one of his clones, comes back in Ward as a guy named Chris.

Browbeat's fate was ambiguous, so him secretly being this or that character in Ward became a meme. Because the author hates fun memes, he went back and changed Worm so BB unambiguously died.

Numbers Man is hung