#creative brain still remembers the days of all-nighters

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Things I should be doing: sleeping

Things I wanna be doing: everything but sleeping

[dalamjisung]

in one year ❀ im jaebeom

word count: 2952

genre: fluff

pairing: reader x im jaebeom

description: a lot can happen in a year. this is what happened in yours.

Common love isn't for you. You knew that even before Jaebeom, and you know that now, with Jaebeom. 

You two first met when you got hired as the new Marketing Assistant, taking on their upcoming tour as your first project. No once could deny the connection in between you two; the feelings were strong enough to be felt by everyone around you, be it good or bad. You smile as you remember meeting them for the first time. 

“Come and get it, GOT7!”

Everything was happening too fast; just two minutes ago you were walking through the entrance doors to meet your new boss, and now here you were, with the seven boys smiling at you. 

“We’re GOT7,” One of them continues with a small smile. “I’m GOT7’s leader, Im Jaebeom. I hope you’ll take care of us!”

They all bow in synchrony and you take a step back, suddenly intimidated. You were their new Marketing employee, meaning you were in charge from merchandise sales to album cover approvals. They had to captivate the fans hearts, and you had to captivate their wallets. It was suddenly too real– you had a job. A real job, in the real world. And those seven real boys’ future was in your hands. 

“H-Hi,” You bow back to them. “I’m Y/N… It’s an honor to work with you all. Let’s build something great, yeah?”

The cheer that follows makes you blush and recoil into yourself. With the corner of your eyes you see Jaebeom watching you closely, and you straighten your back. You wanted to make a good impression, but you couldn’t help but feel like you were in way above your head. 

“Hey,” Jaebeom comes closer. “We’ll help you the best we can. We’re a team now. Let’s build something great.”

Together, you created something much more than just great– you created something phenomenal. As you got your work done, you couldn’t help but grow closer to the boys– you were a true believer that since this is their tour and their career, they had the final word on every single project you took on. That made Jaebeom trust you like he trusted no one else; you respected his team, his family. In return, he respected you and your hard work. He’d often see you pulling all nighters as he left to the dorms and found you in the same spot, coffee cups next to you, when he got back in the morning. He knew GOT7 was in good hands, and after a while, you knew it too. 

You confidence grew as time passed. The tour sold out, and so did their limited merchandise line you pitched to the Creative Director. The fast pace in which your name started to grow within the company was like no other; you had it in you, true talent. It made Jaebeom proud when, during team dinners– a rule you created so that you could talk to them more freely,– you’d shyly mumble some praise someone told you or a promotion you had been nominated for. 

“That’s our girl!” Jackson screamed during dinner, raising his beer glass. “Climbing that corporate ladder one step at a time!”

You laugh in the endearing way you usually did– head throw and all,– and raised your glass, clinking it with theirs. Tonight marked six months since you’ve got assigned to GOT7, and as you were celebrating you guys’ anniversary, you told them about the meeting you had with JYP this afternoon.

“But noona,” Yugyeom whines, frowning. “Does that mean you’ll stop working with us?” “Don’t worry about that Yugy,” You chuckle, stretching your arm far enough to be able to hold his hand and give it a firm squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere. Being Marketing Director just means I’ll have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7, which means you have the final say in all projects assigned to GOT7.”

The boys cheer once again, laughing and joking about overthrowing Park Jinyoung from the CEO throne and putting in their own Park Jinyoung. You laugh and, in a moment of weakness, you look at Jaebeom. He has a smile on his face– the kind of smile you give to a loved one, small and contained, but strong and concentrated,– and his eyes were looking down at his cup. He shook his head and when his eyes met yours, you offer him a smile, and a blush. It was no secret that your affection for the hardworking leader grew every day; it was the company’s joke that you two would end up together, just like in one of the fan’s fanfictions. You two always shook your head and denied all allegations, but you knew he felt it too– the pull. 

He raises his glass slightly; another toast, just for you. 

You nod in recognition, and, later that night, when you’ve drunk one beer too many, and he had to take you home, before he could leave, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to you.

“Stay.”

Needless to say you were horrified once you woke up. You laugh, as memories of your past flood your brain. You could practically feel the weight of his arm around your waist as you jumped out of the bed with a shriek, making him tumble to the side and fall on his shoulder, groaning in pain. After that, you both awkwardly made breakfast and before you could say anything, Jaebeom was out of the door. The frustration that came with the next couple of weeks was something you were not ready for; Jaebeom ignored and avoided you with every chance he got. 

You shake your head, putting the lasts items in your bag as the memory of your first fight replayed in your mind.

“Im Jaebeom!” 

Your voice echoed in the empty dancing room, and the surprise was such that he even let out a scream, turning around with wide eyes and a hand over his heart. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” You seethed, marching in the room after slamming the door shut.

“…rehearsing?” He mumbles, sounding more like a question than an answer. 

“Don’t play dumb with me now, mister,” You whisper, grabbing the front of his sweaty t-shirt and pulling him closer to you– close enough to touch your nose to his. “You’ve been avoiding me for a week, now! Are you insane? I have two projects to give back to JYP that I need your approval for, but I can’t get it, now, can I? Cause you won’t fucking talk to me! Okay, I get it! You think that night was a mistake, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if I made you stay and sleep over and take care of me but goddammit, you could’ve just said no! Or left! It would’ve hurt less than what you’re doing right now, you fucking asshole. The worst part of it all is that I miss you– I still fucking miss you laughing at Jackson’s stupid jokes during lunch, or screaming at Bam for getting the choreography wrong. So honestly, get your act together, because if I have to listen to Yugyeom cry one more time because he thinks I’m going to leave because of this stupid fight, I’ll bash your face in. We’re professionals. Deal with it.”

And this time, you are the one that leave.

You made him taste his own medicine. You ignored Jaebeom in any setting outside of work for three days– and that’s all he could take before showing up to your apartment.

You open the door with a sigh, ready to just grab your pizza and wallow in your misery. You’ve just been rejected by the man you had steadily been nurturing feeling for, and sure, it was al partially your fault– you let yourself go, first, admiring his love for his members, and then, his love for your. You shone under his proud gaze when you’d tell him about another successful meeting; you basked under his smile as his hand found your head and patted you affectionately; and you grew under his laugh as you told him a joke that Jackson had just taught you minutes earlier. You slowly fell in love with Im Jaebeom and you knew about it; you knew about it from when it started to when it ended. 

But it couldn’t just end like that, could it? Not with you two. So obviously, he had to show up at your door. 

“What are you doing here?” You sigh, and you sound defeated. Your shoulders are fallen and your voice is tired, and you know he knows it too.

“I fucked up.”

“Yes, you did,” You look at him and you feel anxious, noticing the panic in his eyes. Jaebeom hardly ever showed his emotions, so for you to be able to catch that, something must’ve been wrong. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” You hate yourself for how easily you gave in, but you just couldn’t– you couldn’t not have him in your life. “Go home Jaebeom, it’s late.”

“Can I stay?”

This question carried much more than it sounded like it did, and you knew it. If you said no, then that would’ve been it– the last of you and Jaebeom. You’d have to work with him and see him and talk to him and laugh with him, but you’d never really be with him. This couldn’t happen.

“Yes.”

His mouth is on yours before you can say anything else, and for the rest of the night, Jaebeom showed you how sorry he was. 

That night you learned what it was like to feel truly wanted; truly loved. Jaebeom apologized over and over again and you let him, forgiving him time and time again. He made you feel like the most precious diamond on Earth, rare and delicate and strong, and nothing could ever compare to that. For the next month, you got to observe your relationship blossom, and your love grow. You got to learn more about Jaebeom, and you even learned some new things about yourself.

The taxi drops you at the airport, an hour before your flight, and you rush through security, barely making it for boarding, but nothing could stop you know. This had been planned a month ago, and it’s been too long. Way too long. Today marked exactly two years since you’ve met GOT7… and exactly one year since Jaebeom asked you to be his girlfriend. 

“Babe?” You call out, entering the dark apartment. Jaebeom had texted you a couple of hours ago asking you to come over and you said that as soon as you were done with work you’d swing by. You hear fait meows coming from the main bedroom and you quietly make your way over, careful to not wake him up in case he was actually asleep.

“No, Cake, come on,” You hear angry mumbling and you chuckle as he talked to his cats. “Nora, tell your siblings to stay put! Y/N should be here anytime now and–“ You open the door upon hearing your name and the scene in front of you is precious. Jaebeom is kneeling on his mattress, next to a sunflower bouquet, trying to make his cats stand still around him. The all freeze at your presence, though, and you have to ask what’s going on before any of them could move.

“Uh…” Jaebeom lets go of Cake, who now lays on its back, waiting for her daily tummy pets she got from you. “Surprise?” 

“Surprise, indeed,” You laugh. “What’s going on?”

“W-Well,” Jaebeom stutters, and you know. You know what’s coming and you shake in excitement. You’ve been waiting months for this. “I– no, we wanted to know if you’d like to join us? I know I’m very busy, and that you are very busy, too, and that we have to try really hard to see each other, but I think we’ve been doing great so far, and we’re a small family of one man and five cats, and we’d love to add you to this little thing of ours… and I wanted to know if I could finally call my mom and tell her that I got a girlfriend. Or not; not call her and not have a girlfriend, completely up to you… yeah…”

Only Im Jaebeom could talk about his mom when asking someone to be his girlfriend and still be charming. “I’d love to join your little family,” You whisper, smiling wide and jumping on the bed, trying to avoid man and cats, and failing miserably as you fall on top of Jaebeom. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” He whispers and kisses you passionately. Just as things escalated, he pulled back, too abruptly for you to not whine about it. “But I meant it; I need to call my mom.”

“No,” You complain. “More kisses.”

“She’s been trying to set me up with these weird girls and–“

“Call your mom right this instant.” 

The flight lasts only an hour and your body buzzes as you pass through security, following the boys agent back to where they were. 

“He's gonna be over the moon when he finally sees you,” He laughs from the driver’s seat. “We’ve done a pretty good job of not telling his anything, even though Bambam almost ruined everything a few times.”

You laugh. “Are they in the hotel?”

“No,” The man shakes his head. “They are in the arena going through sound check. I already give the drive to the video crew, though, so as soon as you hear the song, just walk in.”

“Got it,” You smile nervously. “I hope he’s surprised.”

“Oh, believe me, he will be. They have been very discouraged these days; they are tired and a lot happened and I think this is just what they all need to remember.”

“Remember what?”

“Everything.”

“Remember?” You ask, sniffling as you caressed Jaebeom’s face on your computer.

“Remember what, love?” He asks, voice tired from all the concerts they’ve been playing.

“Everything,” And you let your tears falls. “Remember everything, will you? All the nights we spent talking, and all the fights we’ve had. Don’t forget a single detail, Im Jaebeom! Don’t forget me, okay?”

“Baby,” He chuckles, and even though he is smiling, you know how hard this is on him; having you so far away, crying because he’s just not there. “Just two more months, yeah? And then I’ll be home, in your arms.”

“I miss you so fucking much,” You sob, and this is so unfair. You wished you could go with him, but JYP assigned you to ITZY’s debut album while GOT7 was touring the world. He said the girls could use your magical brain for a successful launch to their career. “I just want you.”

“And I want you too,” He says forcefully. “Miss you. Love you.”

“Love you.”

That was two weeks ago. JYP had been made aware of the problems GOT7 was facing. How tired they were while dancing; how discouraged they sounded while singing; how irritated they got while resting. It was a mess, and so, pulling out of your assignment, he gave you a week off of work, allowing you enough time to go visit Jaebeom and the boys. You were there to remind them why they were doing all of this; why they were there. You even made a video, with pictures and compilations of moments you’ve had together. To fit two years of friendship in a video had been hard, but to also fit one year of dating had been almost impossible. But you did it. For them, you’d always do it. 

“Okay, we’re here.”

Security guided you to the back of the arena, since when the video started, the boys would have their backs to the main entrance, thought the audience. And just as discussed, as soon as you heard the familiar tune of ‘Lullaby’ started, you tiptoed to closer to the stage, hearing their surprised gasps and laughter throughout their mics as pictures of you all in restaurants and parks passed through. 

There it was; your story with them. Your family. Pictures of you and Jinyoung on a bookstore, and of you and Yugyeom at the zoo. There were videos of the boys dancing at the arcade and videos of birthday songs. There were videos of you and Jaebeom’s cats and pictures of you and Coco. You weren’t sure if it was you or them, but you could definitely hear someone crying. 

Just as the video ended, you laughed, quietly and to yourself, trying not to ruin the surprise. There was a minute of silence before you smile and say, as softly as you could, “Hi, loves!”

They all turn together, and their synchronization doesn’t fail to spook you. 

“Noona!” Yugyeom shouts, running to you and hugging you. You felt tears falling on your shoulders and you chuckle. 

“Hi, you big baby,” You say, patting his hair.

You make your rounds, hugging each and every one of the boys, until you got to him. He was sitting down, hands over his face, shoulders shaking from the strength of his sobs. You kneel in front of him, pulling him by the wrists and his arms go around you instead, pulling you into his lap. 

“I love you so fucking much,” He sobs on your neck. “I missed you.” “I missed you too, Jaebeom,” You whisper, caressing his hair. “I love you too. I’m here; it’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

“It will now,” He says and kisses you, ignoring the loud cheering from the boys. “Happy one year, Y/N.”

“Best year of my life,” You smile. “Happy one year.”

-------------------------

hello!!!! I am sorry for the absence, but college demands a lot from me hahah I hope you like this nonetheless! I’m a few minutes lates, but happy valentine’s! Love you all! Let me know what you think in the comments :) it means the world ❤️

[thealphabetmurders]

Irises

Pairing: Prinxiety

Word Count: 2522

Summary: Virgil knows exactly 3 things: 1. He is stressed about finals more than a normal person would 2. Impressionists are the worst 3. The barista at this new coffee shop has the prettiest eyes

Triggers: anxiety, insomnia, implied/referenced drug-use, lack of self care

Authors Note: I wanted to challenge myself and write a fic with a pairing that I don’t normally do. I am definitely more privy to Logince, Analogical, and Moxiety, but I gotta love Prinxiety, how could you not?  

(Read on AO3)

Virgil tugged off his earbuds as he walked into Monet’s, an unfamiliar coffee house and a new experience for Virgil. Virgil hated new experiences. The smell of vanilla filled his senses as he walked in a dream-like state to the counter (standing a little bit away to let the employees know he wasn’t ready), rubbing his eyes from exhaustion, getting his fix here because he did not have the energy to go out and buy more grounds. He knew that it was most likely extremely unhealthy for him to have only consumed Takis, coffee, and Adderall the past couple days, but it was finals week, which meant it was crunch time. 

Virgil tells people he is a bit more anxious than most people, and by a bit, he means a fuckton. So, of course, finals week has him questioning everything in his life, from his study methods to his career path. Virgil is a smart guy, so he doesn’t actually have anything to worry about, as long as he studies, right? Wrong. As a fine arts major, not all of his classes are just knowing that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, you have to apply the skills you learned into a creative piece, and while Virgil is a talented artist, he was always second guessing everything he created. Which is why, in the 11th hour, Virgil decided he hated the medium he was working in, completely scrapped it, and had 48 hours to create 3 completely new “transformative” pieces. Sleep was not an option until it had to be. Which, it seemed it had been, when he fell asleep on the bus after class, missing his apartment by 11 stops. Coffee seemed necessary at this point. 

Pulling his hoodie off his head, smoothing out his hair, he looked at the pretty standard local coffee shop menu with some lunch items as well, and just looking at those made his stomach grumble. 

“Suppose you cannot create on an empty stomach.” Virgil thought. “And while I’m here…”

 As he was reading, he noticed each combo had a quirky name relating to Monet’s works. Berry spring salad with bagel was Luncheon on the Grass, sesame soba was The Japanese Footbridge….

“Give me a break…” Virgil muttered, before finally deciding on what to get. The shop was completely empty, so Virgil didn’t feel too bad about taking his time, though he did feel a bit nervous looking like a mess in front of the handsome barista. 

His olive colored skin tone with black wavy hair made Virgil feel a bit woozy, but he became dazed when he looked into his beautiful emerald eyes, almost forgetting why he was there, until he asked, “What can I do for ya, man?” 

“Uh, yea, can I get the tomato soup and grilled cheese with a medium espresso frappuccino,” He looked around the empty store, “For here, I guess,”

The barista turned around and looked at the two other employees behind him, one on their phone and one inspecting their nails absentmindedly, “Does anyone want to make a frap?” 

They both looked up and looked at each other before turning back to the one taking Virgil’s order. The one with a large scar on the left side of his face put his thumb down while the other one who looked very similar to his cashier blew a raspberry, shaking his head. The handsome cashier turned back to Virgil, and shrugged, “Sorry, gonna have to pick something else, no one want to make it,” 

Virgil sighed, rubbing his eyes, “Okay, whatever, is an iced flat white with some espresso okay?”

The three looked at each other then back at Virgil, before the cashier said, “Dude… It was a joke,” 

“Yea man,” The barista with a scar said, “We can’t just say no to what you order,” 

“What kind of business would that be?” The third one piped up. 

“Are you okay?” The barista, Virgil looked at his nametag, Roman, asked. 

Virgil merely sighed, “I’m kind of going through it,” 

Virgil pulled out his card, but Roman put his hand up. “On the house,” Normally Virgil would protest, despite the cheesy food names it was still a local business,  but being so stressed and depressed he honestly could bring himself to care. He choked out a thanks and sat down by a window, leaning his temple against the it, cool condensation comforting and making him a bit more awake. 

His food and his coffee eventually arrived, Virgil thanked Roman, who then proceeded to sit down across from him, elbows on the table and hands folded. 

“Can I help you?” Virgil asked, probably being harsher than intended, it was just his natural speaking voice. 

“Probably not, I wanna see if I can help you,” Roman shrugged. 

Virgil frowned, “Help me?” 

“I have been told I am good company and good at advice, and you, Brad Pitt-iful, seems like you are falling apart at the seams,” 

Virgil chuckled dryly, “Trust me, I hardly think you are qualified to handle hearing about all my problems,” 

Roman sat up straighter, looking into Virgil’s brown eyes against his gorgeous green, “I work as a barista by day with a bunch of dysfunctional idiots and I am a bartender at night, there is nothing I haven’t seen before, I am probably more qualified than some therapists”  He crossed his arms and cocked his eyebrow, “Try me,” 

Virgil, intrigued, took the bait, and spilled. He talked about his anxiety, the insomnia, the fear of failure, the days where he debates dropping out, his nerves going into overdrive everytime he thinks about what he is going to, how he abandoned his final project, how he has to start on a new one- essentially everything that has been swirling in Virgil’s mind the past semester. 

“Hmm, okay, so you are pulling all nighters to finish all your work, and you only had one piece to do before you were completely finished with your final, and you then decided it looked all wrong and scrapped it?” Roman recapped and Virgil nodded, “Might I give you a suggestion?” 

“You can try,” 

“When you get home, go to sleep. Sleep for at least 9 hours, in a row, look at your old project again, and see how you feel,” Roman shrugged, “Maybe with a clear head you will feel differently about your project, maybe even get some inspiration,” 

Virgil gripped the bridge of his nose, “Roman, I do not have the time to sleep for a full 9 hours, that is ridiculous, I have to do so many projects,” 

“You’ll have one less to start from square one in if you end up actually liking what you did,” 

“It is a nice thought, I appreciate it, but I probably won’t be able anyways, not after the coffee,” Virgil took another sip, as to prove his point, but Roman just smirked. 

“That’s actually just a frozen hot chocolate with coffee flavoring in it,” 

Virgil eyes flew open wide, “Really?” He stared at his drink for a bit before looking at Roman, “They taste exactly the same, I cannot believe I let you fool me like that,” 

“Janus, Remus, and I made an executive decision, you do not look good,” Roman frowned, concerned, most likely looking at his swallowed out skin and circle under his eyes. 

“Well-” Virgil half-chuckled, “Not a lot of people look good compared to you,” Virgil would later wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because of his flippant flirting that he never engages in, but for now he doesn’t care. 

“Charmed.” Roman said, a fond smile present on his face, “I am sure you are a catch as well, when you don’t look like a skeleton” The door opened and a gaggle of people walked in, dressed in the local high school’s uniform. Roman sighed, “That’s my cue,” 

He stood up and frowned, quickly patting his front and back pockets before pulling out a sharpie. He grabbed Virgil's arm, the other one yelped, blushing slightly at the contact. “I would do the cliche ‘write my number on a napkin’, but now I know if you don’t text me it’s because you don’t want to, which is okay too.” He capped his pen, “Message me about what you decide to do, if you want. Would love to see your art,” And with a flourish of his hand, Roman walked away to the counter to take the many orders of the teenagers. 

Virgil looked down at the 9 numbers on his arm, swallowing thickly, feeling a bit sick, though it is not just from Roman’s number in bold, black ink. God, he was tired. 

His body was not attached to his brain as he walked to the bus station, got off, and walked up to his studio, unlocking the door and banging his head against the wall (not too hard, though, these walls are so thin they might as well be made of rice paper). Virgil looked at the numbers on his arm, remembering what Roman said. 

Virgil shrugged off his jacket and jeans,  throwing them on his ‘stuff’ chair and pulled on a pair of sweats, collapsing on his bed. He looked at his phone, the time reading 3:35pm. 

“9 hours from now… That’s midnight. Is he mental?” Virgil muttered to himself. He attempted to pull himself out of bed to get started to study for his history of art final, but his body would just not cooperate. How long has it been since he has had a proper sleep. 

If you have to think about it, it’s been too long… 

That tomato soup and grilled cheese combination was beginning to make him sleepy. Virgil groaned, face-palming. He went on his phone and set an alarm for 6:00pm. 

“Fine, a short nap,” He said to himself. He hit the lights and it took maybe two minutes before he was sleeping, dreaming of impression paintings and emerald eyes. 

***

this is Virgil. 

i didn’t end up sleeping for the 9 hours like you asked

i ended up sleeping for 13.

i hate you. 

And how do you feel, now?

……….…

much better actually. you were right. after my coma i looked back at my final and realised it was a lot better than I remembered. 

i even ended up finishing it. 

That is fantastic! I am soooo glad I could help. What did you end up doing?

Can you send me a picture? 

oh uh

idk if that is a good idea

i don’t want you to think i am weird

Virgil. 

I beta read my twin’s fanfiction. 

I am so desensitized, I do not think I am allowed to be weirded out. 

ok...

img.cm/1029483

Incoming call (Roman- Monet’s)....

****

Virgil yelped when he saw the incoming call. He doesn’t like phone calls at the best of times, but especially not now, not after he showed Roman his final piece. Stupid, stupid, STUPID! He should have just said no, people don’t press about that kind of thing. But Roman is clearly a liar because he said he wouldn’t be weirded out and he is, and Virgil just met this guy and he already messed everything up, why does he have to be such a fucking weirdo all the time, goddamnit, everything is falling apart, Virgil may have gotten sleep but he can’t fix himself. He groaned and snatched up the phone on the last ring, attempting to put on his best, most positive voice. 

“Hey, Roman, wha-what’s up… Bro?” 

“Hello!” Roman answered the phone, not sounding angry or upset, which calmed Virgil a bit, “I apologize, I should have prefaced that I loved the painting. I understand why you might have been worried, but it is absolutely wonderful.” 

“Really?” Virgil let out a breath, “I was really worried that-” 

“Are you kidding?” Roman almost shouted through the phone, Virgil having to pull it away from his ear, “A profile of just my eyes surrounded by roses and irises, in the style of the impressionists, even though I know you hate that style,”

“I don’t hate it,” Virgil muttered. 

“You ranted about Renoir, Degas, and Monet for longer than anyone I have ever met, and one of my closest friends is a curator at the art museum,” 

Virgil sighed, “Yea, you’re right, they suck. Sorry about that…” 

Roman laughed, “Ha, are you joking? That was the highlight of my day. But all that aside, how could you even fathom me not liking the piece? 

“I mean,” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, “I just met you yesterday, it’s not exactly something people do for someone when they do not even know their last name.” 

“My last name is Perez, my middle name is Thomas, my twin brother is Remus who you met yesterday, I am left handed, my favorite food color is red, and I love attention, it’s why I have done theater for 20 years. Does that help?” 

Virgil grumbled, “I guess it does,” 

Roman laughed, “I love it, Virgil, trust me, it is now my phone background,” 

Virgil’s heart swelled, “Really?” 

“Really. Honestly after us talking for like, 45 minutes yesterday, I would have been more offended if I wasn’t your muse, I mean, what about mean isn’t inspirational?” Both Roman and Virgil laughed at that, “But I could have told you all this over text, I called because I don’t like texting to ask pretty boys out on dates,” 

Virgil’s heart leapt into his throat, he felt as though someone dropped a ton of bricks on his chest. How was he supposed to respond to that? Roman first impression of him was a literal dead man walking and he still wants to go out with him?

“A date?” Virgil responded, still shocked. 

“Unless the pride pin on your jacket was just as an ally, and you just spent hours painting my eyes in a straight way, I would like to, if you want,” Roman said simply. Before Virgil could respond, Roman started speaking again, “And don’t say no just because I saw you at your rock bottom, I can see where this is going,” 

Virgil smacked his lips together, “You got me,”

“What do you say,” 

Virgil smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a while, “Let’s do it,” 

Virgil was only speechless for a full minute when Roman laid out an entire romantic picnic, scheduling it perfectly to watch a matinee Shakespeare in the Park production of Much Ado About Nothing, both of them happily munching on the brownies and sandwiches Roman had made that morning. Virgil only complained for 3 minutes when Roman wanted to take him to the art museum, the blushing lasted for 4 times that long when Roman confessed it was because he wanted to hear Virgil about the paintings, his voice being one of the most pleasant he has heard. When Roman grabbed Virgil by the waist, pulling him in for a kiss, Virgil responded with equal passion and emotion that Roman was, not even noticing they were in front of Monet’s Irises. 

[darkmindsotome]

Wrapped For Dinner

Fandom: Love 365 Irresistible Mistakes

Pairing: Shunichiro Tachibana x MC

Word count: 3,796

Warning: NSFW Smut

Written by: darkmindsotome

Tagging @voltage-vixen as requested. Prompt #13: Sex under the sun dress

Darkmindsotome Masterlist

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Wrapped For Dinner

My latest big project at Addison & Rhodes had me working as lead creative. It was long hours and a lot of hard work but in the end, we were able to pull off a pretty fantastic ad campaign that was currently trending and going viral. 

To say I was relieved at the response was putting it modestly. Toma had already teased me about the stupid grin on my face creeping him out at work and Natsume had commented on it as well when he dropped off the updated sales figures. I managed to laugh them both off, nothing was going to put a dampener on my good mood. Well, almost nothing…

The phone rang at my desk the caller ID clearly displaying it was from the creative director’s office. I picked up the receiver as I pressed the button to answer. I had palpitations in my chest knowing my boyfriend was calling me during work hours. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to this?

“Creative department, MC speaking.”

“Always so professional.” I could hear Shinichiro’s deep voice as he chuckled. It managed to send tingles rippling through me. “Good work on that last project I just saw the updates. The projections look set to knock the client’s preferred targets out of the park.”

“Thank you, Sir. It means a lot hearing you say that.” My mood and happiness seemed to increase ten-fold being praised by him.

“… Listen about later, I’m going to have to take a rain check. One of the larger clients for the company had a scheduling issue and I was asked by the higher-ups to cover for someone who is still off-site.” Shunichiro’s words were like a bucket of ice water bringing me firmly back to Earth.

“Oh, that’s fine.” I didn’t know what else to say in response, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me and I rolled my chair a little closer to my desk hoping the computer monitor would hide me from the rest of the department.

“I knew you’d say that. I’ll make arrangements for something soon and make it up to you.” He sounded genuinely sorry but what worried me more than the cancelled date was how tired he sounded.

“You don’t have to worry, work is work. I’ve bailed on you a few times recently too.” I tried to mask my disappointment with a little enthusiasm. I really didn’t want to add to his problems by making him worry about me.

“Well alright if that’s how you really feel. You seriously did a great job this time I’m going to have to work harder to stay ahead.” It was reassuring to hear him accept my response and hear the motivation return to him. I could feel the smile returning to my face just listening to him.

“I’m still nowhere near –”

“I’m going to have to go another call is coming in.” Shunichiro cut me off after an electronic beeping on the line.

“Alright.” I nodded. He was busy and while I had really wanted to see him it couldn’t be helped.

“Mc? I can’t wait to see you.”

The line went dead as I held the receiver to my ear for a few seconds letting his parting words linger.

“Oh, Shun… you really don’t play fair.”

*

With no new projects that required my immediate attention, I was actually able to leave the office on time for the first time in ages. It was the weekend and the original plan had been to go to Shunichiro’s last night and spend the weekend together.

I looked over at the weekend bag I dragged back from a locker at the train station last night. Takuro had given me a quizzical look when I came back with it, but he was now curled up on top of the bag fast asleep.

Reaching for my phone I shot a quick message to Shunichiro wishing him good luck at work then hopped into the shower. With my hair dry but a towel still wrapped around me, I rifled through my wardrobe looking for clothes. I picked up the summer dress Yuiko had helped me find on our last shopping trip together.

The delicate gradient of pastel shades made the dress look like a dawn sky and the petals spread out around the baseline hem looked like I had kicked up waves of Sakura flowers. It made me feel happy and a change in mood was certainly what I wanted right now.

I hadn’t been very sure about it, after all, it was a wrap-around dress that caused a deep plunge to my neckline. My reaction had made Yuiko laugh as she kept encouraging me to try it on insisting that if it was to go on a date that it was perfect. In the end, I bought it, I wanted to see his reaction but that was not happening today.

Tying the fabric around my waist I checked myself in the mirror and slipped on a pair of kitten heels. Today may not be the day I get to see him but it was still a day off. Plus, I had been working so hard at the office recently I had no groceries in the apartment to make breakfast. Grabbing my purse, I exited my place in search of sustenance.

*

My parents had always warned me about food shopping on an empty stomach. I really didn’t want to end up carrying a ton of things back with me just because I was thinking with my belly and not my brain. After cutting through the park I came out onto the main road and spotted a familiar sign for McDonald's and went in.

Quickly grabbing a McMuffin and a coffee to go I was just on my way out again when I walked smack into someone. A familiar scent of a particular brand of cigarette, cologne and citrus shampoo filled my senses.

“Whoops! Careful, are you alright?” My eyes followed the arms supporting me. Navy blue suit with grey pinstriped vest and a custom shirt. Finally reaching his face and those deep brown eyes. My mind went blank as I stood there, face to face with Shunichiro. “Wait… MC?”

Clearly, I was not the only one surprised to see my partner. Shunichiro’s eyes looked me over from head to toe as if to check it was really me. I was suddenly very aware of his arms around me and felt a little self-conscious with how he was looking at me. I haven’t done anything different with my usual makeup, maybe its the dress. Does he not like it?

“Morning, late night?” I took half a step back putting a little space between us and the awkward situation.

“Yeah, fast food always tastes better after a late night. If you’re free right now we could eat together.” He shrugged, composed as always. This kind of situation really doesn’t rattle him, I guess that’s something that comes from age and experience.

“Really?”

“Well, it’s up to you. What do you want?” He was clearly holding back laughter I probably sounded or looked childish right now. His playful tone was not lost on me if anything it triggered more of my childish side.

“You have to ask?” I gave him a small glare that made him smile wider.

“Ok, I’ll be right back.”

I found a booth and sat down feeling completely unsure as to what I was now supposed to do. I wasn’t supposed to see him today at all and the fact I now was had thrown me. The look on his face when he recognised me also bugged me a little. While I was lost in thought a second bag was placed next to mine and the cushioned seating at my side pressed lower as Shunichiro sat down.

“I was going to phone you later.” He began talking as he cracked open his bag and began pulling out two McMuffins and a pastry.

“You were?” I looked at his face in profile, he was always handsome but something about this slightly tired look had me thinking back to our time spent together in bed. I reached out for my own bag of food to distract myself from my own lude imagination.

“Mhm,” He filled his mouth with a bite of his breakfast and then sucked hard of the straw for his iced fruit juice. I could have laughed at myself for how I suddenly felt very jealous of a straw, watching his moist lips wrap around it. “After pulling an all-nighter, preparing copies and things for the meeting. The client phoned saying they would have to reschedule again.”

He sighed and leaned back against the booth seating. He was frustrated and tired, you didn’t have to be his girlfriend to see something so plain.

“After you put in all that work!? That’s just too much…” I raised my voice a little allowing the annoyance I felt to at least show even if he wouldn’t.

“It’s a big account and the board members all want to keep it, but when I left the office earlier they were all apologising to me for the extra work.” He gave a wry smile and sucked a bit more on his drink. This was one of the many things I actually loved about this man. His dedication to his craft made him glow in a way that always had me dazzled, it motivated me to keep pushing forward.

“Must be nice to be in demand like that.” I smiled feeling some of my anger subside. He was so talented and respected by everyone in the company. Remembering that a warmth spread through my chest as a wave of affection hit me for the man at my side.

“You are as well you know? I am always getting requests for you to handle accounts personally.” There is a look on his face that even in profile seems to reflect everything I was just feeling about him back at me.

“You’re joking!” I nearly choked on my coffee as my embarrassment caught in my throat. Great work there MC remember to breathe air, not coffee.

“I’m really not.” Shunichiro chuckled at my little outburst making me feel even more childish sitting next to such a well put together man. He had already devoured his pastry and moved on to the rest of his food without me even noticing. “It actually makes me feel very...” He turned his head to look at me the expression painted on his face was not one I saw when working. It was softer but there was an intensity swimming in his eyes that automatically had my core tightening under that gaze. He smiled and then gave my food a nudge closer to me. “Your food is getting cold.”

“Oh!” The spell holding me seemed to break at his prompting. I really wanted to know what he didn’t finish saying, but the timing was now all wrong.

I don’t know if he knew what I was thinking or how he was affecting me. Knowing him he probably had already laid the groundwork for the perfect game plan. He always found a way to get me dancing in the palm of his hand.

“So what do you want to do now?” His question had me confused. It also came right after I had stuffed a big mouthful of McMuffin into my mouth.

“I thought you’d just pulled an all-nighter. Shouldn’t you be heading home to rest?” My words were muffled as I tried to swallow my food and talk at the same time. I probably looked like a hamster, my lack of manners and decorum didn’t faze him at all he simply listened to my garbled gibberish with a soft smile on his face. Ok, that look should be illegal.

“I was but seeing you made me feel much more energised. I’m not so old that one late night is going to stop me from seeing the woman I love. It’s up to you though, I know what I’d prefer.” He was so calm and easy-going. It reminded me that this mature sexy guy was like the smooth jazz music at our favourite bar.

He always did this. No matter what he always said something that was intrinsically tempting in a way you couldn’t possibly refuse then asks what you want to do. It still catches me off guard at times but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Then will you come shopping with me?” I hadn’t planned on seeing him today so the fact I was right now made me unbelievably happy. It didn’t, however, change the reason behind my leaving my apartment.

“Shopping?” My rather boring request had him look at me in slight wonder. I don’t know if he thought I had offered up something mundane because I was concerned for his exhaustion or what.

“Sorry is that weird?” I cast my eyes down looking at the last bite of my breakfast in my hands shyly.

“No, not at all. What are we shopping for?”

“I…” I fidgeted in my seat. At work, I was organised and usually even at home I was as well. However, being as busy as I had recently meant I had let so many things slide in my personal life that I was getting embarrassed thinking about it all. “I haven’t been home much so I didn’t have any groceries.”

“Well, we can’t have that. If we’re buying food can I make some requests?” Shunichiro didn’t laugh at me or look like he was harshly judging me. I finally look up at him, his face looking a little boyish. I loved that look of innocence on him too.

“Of course!”

*

After finishing our food, we headed over to one of the larger stores because it had a slightly bigger variety of items.

“So, what do you want to request?” I ask as I pick up a shopping basket from the stack.

“Well lately I’ve been really craving your cooking I would say anything you make is fine but…” Shunichiro trails off looking at the displays. It made me smile thinking this is the first time in a while either of us had been food shopping.

“You want me to make chicken nuggets don’t you?” I end up giggling which earns me a raised eyebrow from him.

“You know me so well.”

“Naturally I am your girlfriend after all.” The words came naturally but with an instant hit of embarrassment. To hide my fluster, I looked away from him as I marched towards the shelves. “I’ll just go find the seasonings you go get the chicken.”

“Anything else?” He was hot on my heels making me little thankful for being able to stay ahead of him.

“Whatever you see you might want to eat.” I stopped in front of the seasoning looking over the array of choices and as I raised my hand to pick one up, I found myself covered from behind. “Shun?”

“In that case do I really have to go over there? I can’t think of anything but how great you would taste right now.” Shunichiro’s low voice and hot breath brushed against my ear as he pressed himself against my back. His hand was on top of my outstretched one, nimble fingers tracing my own while he used his thumb to rub the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist.

“Shun… we’re in the middle of a store.” I closed my eyes wanting so badly for time to stop or for our location to just magically change. He placed his other hand on my hip sliding towards the wrapped fabric of my waist. His fingers delved into the gap they found and traced over the naked flesh beneath.

“Mmm, pity.” He hummed before removing himself and gracefully swiped the basket from my hand as if nothing had happened at all. “I’ll go get the chicken then.”

“You’re a damn tease, Shunichiro.” I muttered as I finished finding the seasonings and made a move for some frozen items next. With any luck, the freezers might help me cool down.

*

It was almost a mad dash to get home. I wanted to say it was because of the risk of food spoiling but to be honest that was the last thing on either of our minds.

Our little flirtations had persisted around the entire store, and when I say our flirtations, I mean Shunichiro’s. By the time we were at the checkout, I was trembling so much from his persistent teases that I couldn’t locate my card in my purse easily.

Not wishing to waste valuable time, Shunichiro produced his card and paid for the whole lot. He even picked up all the bags and began walking before I could protest. As we left, I caught one person saying “…such a gentleman.” Oh if only you knew.

Once inside he walked right into my small kitchen and opened the door to the fridge, not caring one bit about unpacking. I watched in shock as the entire bags, including their contents, were unceremoniously wedged inside.

“You know that isn’t good for the food right?”

“And you know right now I couldn’t care less.” His voice was lower than I expected. It was ruff and gravelly instantly reigniting all the tingling hot spots he had kindled during our impromptu shopping date.

He closed the gap between us in the blink of an eye. The strength with which he took me in his arms knocked the air from my lungs and my ability to think right out of my body. He dipped low plying my lips open with his tongue and pushing it deep into my mouth as if he were trying to steal my ability to speak as well.

Experienced hands roamed over the top of my dress pulling on the fabric in all the right places to provide some friction of fabric on flesh, raising the temperature between us.

“Mhm!.... Ah… Shun.” I was panting as he pulled back finally allowing me a few seconds to gain some air.

“I’ve never been so bothered by work. It’s so frustrating our schedules just never match up at the minute.” Even as he spoke he was removing his own clothes. Tossing his jacket and vest behind himself in a flurry of action that had me rubbing my legs together seeing him so desperate.

“I know I felt the same.” I brought my hand up to the buttons on his shirt, slowly tracing them before popping them one by one between my fingers like I was snapping them. My eyes never left his as he unbuckled his leather belt and trousers. “Every time I felt a break in the workload You vanished under a pile of assignments.”

“Seeing you every day at work. So close…” He shuddered at my touch the fire in his eyes lit scorching hot paths through my body.

He gave an almost silent groan as he lunged at me. My back hit the kitchen table as he pinned me down on either side with his strong arms. Hovering over me I could feel the pulsating heat from his body and the weight of his raw animal magnetism that always had me coming back for more.

My legs were forced wide as he brought his leg and hip between them. Alternating rhythms resounded in my body as my heart hammered hard enough to burst and his fingers danced up my inner thigh under my dress before slipping past the fabric barrier covering me.

“Mmm, A-ah—” The pressure filling me was exquisite. I watched his arm and shoulder pump in action with his fingers buried deep inside me as he worked away at my sanity.

“I was so glad to see you today I thought the torture was over but then you had to go and do this to me.”

“Do what? I didn’t do anything?” I was seriously confused. I was focusing on him but I felt like there was something I was missing. He didn’t answer me with words instead he brought his face to my chest burying it between my breasts and pulled on the fabric of my dress with his teeth.

“Are you being coy on purpose? Where did you learn to charm a man like that?” He pulled his fingers free with a smirk watching as I writhed missing his touch while he licked them clean. The next feeling my increasingly befuddled mind registered was the complete fulfilment as we became one.

“Oh, God!” My back arched against the unforgiving table and he placed one hand on my chest pushing me back down while he moved his hips against me.

“Ngh… dammit, you are just so perfect.”

“Shu…ni…chiro…” The pop and grind that was a familiar dance to us had me seeing stars.

“I know baby, I know.” He picked up the pace our bodies becoming slick with sweat as we relentlessly hammered home our mutual desires for each other.

*

“You awake?”

I slowly opened my eyes finding that I was not exactly where I thought I was. Shunichiro had been sitting on my sofa having a drink. Noticing how I was now conscious he returned to my side in my small little bed.

“Mmm, yeah. Did you carry me to bed?” Clutching the covers over my chest I wriggled closer to him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders placing my head on his chest in the process.

“Well I did consider leaving you on the kitchen table but I thought you might get cold.” He laughed as he teased me. I was too happily exhausted to care and gave him a pathetically weak slap on his arm. My eyes started to adjust more to being fully awake, finding my alarm clock next to the bed.

“Jeez is that the time I should start making the food.” I freed myself from his hold and had placed one foot outside of the covers only to be pulled back in. “Ah!”

“You could or we could enjoy ourselves a little more. There’s no rush, after all, we have the rest of the weekend together.” He was whispering in my ear and trailing fingers over my now naked form. The tip of his tongue drew a line down my neck to my nape where he suckled on it. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re a sneaky scoundrel.” I smiled knowing this was him. He was sneaky, tricky, devilish, conniving and god help me if I didn’t find every aspect of the man appealing.

“Correction.” He chuckled and I found myself flipped under him. “I’m your sneaky scoundrel, and you’re mine.”

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[girls-scenarios]

It All Leads to You

Idol: Rosé (BlackPink)

Prompt: College AU where fem reader finds a note in her school backpack from her girlfriend Rose (BP) which leads to a little treasure hunt all over campus leading up to a romantic date (you can pick the end result)

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I meant to have this up so long ago but my job is actually killing me and I haven’t had any time. I wanna quit TT But anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

♡ Tip Jar♡

It all started out as a normal day. You’d woken up early, gone to get breakfast and coffee from the nearby cafe, and then headed off to class, still sleepy but a bit more energized and ready to study with coffee in your system. Then, you’d gotten to class and taken your books out of your backpack only for a note to fall out of one of them.

Now, you sat reading the note, your class forgotten as a soft smile made it’s way onto your features.

Hello baby,

Do you know what day it is today? I’m waiting for you somewhere special, but you’ll have to come and find me! Your first clue is at the bottom of this note. Good luck, and I love you!

Your love,

Rosé

“What is this?” You whispered to yourself, interested as your eyes moved to the bottom of the page. There was a little doodle of two hearts there, along with a phrase written in neat handwriting.

Two eyes met and the future became bright

“This girl,” you said with a sigh, but you quickly put your books back into your bag and stood up, slipping out of class without a sound. One day of skipping wouldn’t hurt, right?

As you walked outside, you looked down at the note again, studying it. “Two eyes met... Maybe she’s talking about the first place we met each other?” You hummed a bit, nodding your head. That would make sense. There was only one problem: you couldn’t remember exactly which classroom the two of you had met in.

“It was a history class. So this building, right?” You muttered to yourself, quickly pulling out your phone to find the map of the building. You could vaguely remember the room number, but maybe if you saw it... “Oh! 233A! That was it, right?” A girl walking past gave you an odd look, but you ignored her, looking down at your phone as you headed to the elevators to get back down to the second floor, hoping that there wasn’t a class in session.

Thankfully, the class was empty, and you let out a sigh of relief as you stepped inside and looked around. What were you looking for, anyway? Another slip of paper or something? When did Rosé even have the time to hide something in here? Biting your lip, you headed to the middle row, where you’d sat beside Rosé that semester. Maybe she’d taped something to the desk, or hidden something on the chair. You just hoped that no one had thrown it out before you got there.

It took a few minutes of looking, but you eventually found the note taped underneath the desk by the wall and pulled it off to read it.

You found me, you’re one step closer! Here’s the next hint~

The hearts drawn beside the hearts made you laugh a bit as your eyes moved down the page.

It all started with strawberries.

“What the heck?” You said aloud, squinting your eyes at the paper. What did that mean?

A noise came from the door and you quickly gathered your things, smiling sheepishly at the students coming in as you slipped out of the door. Once you were back at the elevator, you looked down at the paper. Strawberries.... You tried to remember, what had the two of you done with strawberries? Closing your eyes, you thought back, running through all the things the two of you had done together. Movie theater dates, volunteering on campus, visiting museums....

Dates! That was it! Your first date spot! You smiled as you remembered, opening your eyes. The two of you had gotten strawberry smoothies from a vendor at the nearby park, and they’d been so cold that both of you immediately got a brain freeze, but they were too good not to keep drinking. It was a fond memory, and as you slipped the note into your pocket, you found yourself excited to walk back through the park, wondering where the next note would be hidden. For a moment, you thought about texting Rosé to tell her how you were doing, but you decided against it. You wanted to surprise her wherever she was waiting. Determined, you slipped out of the building and began to make your way towards the park, today’s classes already forgotten.

The park was big, and as soon as you stepped onto the familiar dirt path, you found yourself getting a bit worried. Where could she have hidden a note in this place? Still, you followed the path you’d taken when the two of you first visited, keeping your eyes peeled for anything as you walked. The air was nice and warm, and it felt great to be outside, so you didn’t mind the leisurely stroll as you looked around, pinpointing places where the two of you sat and chatted. Nothing was at the bench, or at the swings, but as you walked around a bend in the trail, you recognized the smoothie truck the two of you had visited parked up ahead. Had she really?

Curious, you walked up to the truck, looking around for any kind of note. The guy behind the counter smiled at you, raising his eyebrows as he leaned out to speak to you. “Hello there. What can I get for you?”

“Um, could I have a strawberry smoothie please?” You wondered if you were really looking in the right place as you fished out your wallet.

“Coming right up. Can I have a name?”

Did they ask for a name last time? You couldn’t remember. “It’s (Y/N).”

“Thank you. I’ll be right back with that.” The truck was small enough that you could still see him when he moved back, and as he finished your smoothie, you watched him pick up something from the counter and press it to the underside of the cup. “Here’s this strawberry smoothie for you, (Y/N)!”

“How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, it’s on the house. From Rosé.” So she was behind this. Smiling with a slight flush on your cheeks, you thanked him and retreated to the nearby bench to check what he’d put on the bottom of the cup. There, folded neatly and taped to the plastic, was another note. Quickly, you pulled it off and unfolded it to reveal the message.

Do you remember how sweet the strawberries were that day? I guess you do, since you found this note! You’re doing great, baby! Here’s your next hint!

The sweetest, softest moment, soaked but warm and happy.

This one was easy. Immediately, the memory of your first kiss with Rosé popped into your head, and you quickly shoved the note into your pocket with the others, giving the smoothie guy a thankful smile as you clutched your smoothie and took off back towards the dorm. Rosé lived in a different dorm than you, but it was actually closer to the park that yours, so it didn’t take you long to get there. As you sped-walked, you thought back to the first time she invited you back to her dorm.

It had started raining out of nowhere. One moment the sun was out, and the next, the two of you were running through the street, drenched from head-to-toe. As the two of you huddled under a storefront umbrella for shelter, she told you that her dorm was closer and invited you over. At the moment, you hadn’t been thinking of anything other than getting somewhere warm and dry, but then, only thirty minutes, the two of you were sitting on her bed wrapped in blankets with wet hair, and her lips just kind of met yours naturally. It was a moment you’d never forget, and even the thought of it made your cheeks flush slightly, despite the fact that you’d kissed her plenty of times since then. The moment had just been so tender and intimate, something straight out of a movie.

“Yo, (Y/N), it’s about time you got here.” Jennie stood at the door to her shared dorm with Rosé, grinning as you approached the door. “I thought I’d have to be here all day.”

“She made me walk around the entire park to find the second hint, it’s not like I’ve just been sitting around,” you said, grinning back as Jennie opened the door. “So you’re in on this too?”

“Yep. She roped just about everyone she could into helping her.”

A smile played on your lips as you walked inside the room behind her. “That’s so cute.”

“I know, right? You’re lucky. I’m not supposed to help you or tell you anything, though. I was just here to let you in.”

“That makes sense.” You walked over to your girlfriend’s bed and pulled back the pillow. Sure enough, a note was waiting underneath, as well as a somehow not-flattened rose. Smiling widely, you picked them both up, holding the rose tight in your hand as you read the note.

Our first kiss makes me giddy when I think about it! I knew I loved you right then and there!

The hearts littered across the page made you smile once again as you looked over the hint.

Day turned into night turned into day.

“Wow, she’s really trying to be cryptic, isn’t she.”

“Yeah. She took one creative writing class and now she’s Shakespeare or something.” Jennie’s tone was joking and fond as she teased her best friend. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks.” You gave her a grin. “For letting me in and everything.”

“No problem, dude. Go get her.”

As you walked out of the dorm, you read over the note again. You were pretty sure this hint was talking about the time the two of you pulled an all-nighter to study for the chemistry class the two of you had together. That had been in the library, in one of the study rooms, you were pretty sure. Walking towards the library, you tried to remember where the two of you had been studying. The issue was, everything in the library kind of looked the same, and you’d been so tired that night. Could you really remember which room it was?

Irene was at the front desk when you walked in, and you immediately walked over, crossing your fingers that she’d help you out a bit. “Hey, Irene!”

“(Y/N)! What’s up?”

“I need to know, did Rosé reserve any study rooms for today?”

Letting out a laugh, Irene leaned over the counter. “Am I allowed to tell you that? I’m pretty sure this is a scavenger hunt, right?”

“Dang, she told you too?”

“Yep, when she came in to make sure the room would be empty for you to look around.”

“So it was a study room, at least.” You groaned dramatically. “Irene, it was when we pulled an all-nighter! The rooms all look the same to me!”

“Do you remember anything about it?”

You tried your best to think back to that night. “Well. Rosé was the one who reserved the room. But I think it was C something?”

“All the C rooms are on floor three,” Irene said helpfully, before giving you a little wave and a playful grin. “Good luck.”

Laughing, you shook your head, knowing that she’d already told you more than she was supposed to, even if you were still a little confused. You’d have to just work with this. “Thanks, I appreciate it!”

The third floor, unsurprisingly, looked exactly like every other floor of the library, just with different books, and you could already feel yourself getting a headache. “Wow, babe, you really went all out with this one,” you said to yourself as you walked to the back wall, ready to go over all of the rooms until you found the right one.

Where had the two of you been that night? You could remember taking a small nap on the floor, so the room was a decent size. It also had a whiteboard, but so did most of the rooms, so that didn’t feel like it was much help. Then, you remembered something important. There had been a vending machine and a bathroom nearby. Quickly, you turned to scan the library as well as you could. The bathrooms were to your right, and you headed that way, looking over the study rooms closest to it. There were two bigger rooms, but one was occupied, so you walked to the empty one and opened the door. It was chilly inside, and you shivered a bit. But you remembered the layout of the room, and now, sure that you had the right room, you began to search.

Finally, you found the note by the whiteboard, hidden with the markers, and you let out a sigh of relief as you picked it up, hoping that the next one wouldn’t be near as hard.

Hey, you found it! This was where you showed me how cute you could be, because you were so tired you kept doodling cute things on my notebook and telling me how much you loved me.

Your cheeks flushed. You’d done that?

This is the next hint: Hours go by in the blink of an eye because of the sounds.

For a moment, you stared at it, feeling a sense of dread that you might not know it, until it clicked. Her favorite music shop, the one Lisa worked at! It was where you’d gotten her last birthday presents, a little ukulele that she’d been looking at and a record from her favorite band. Letting out a sigh of relief that this one would at least be easier, you added the latest letter to your collection and made your way out, giving Irene a thankful wave on the way out.

The music shop was also near campus, and as you stepped inside, you immediately saw Lisa standing behind the desk, nodding her head along to the music.

“Lisa!” She jerked her head up, only to smile brightly when she saw you.

“(Y/N)! Welcome in! I was expecting you! Oh wait, am I allowed to say that?”

Laughing, you held up the note. “I figured out the last hint, so I know this is my next stop. Am I supposed to get the next letter from you?”

“Not from me.” Lisa held up her hands. “I’m just here to make sure no one moves it. Sorry.”

“I expected as much, don’t worry.” You had an idea of where the note would be anyway. You’d long since memorized where all of her favorite artists and records were in the store, so there wasn’t much looking around to do. Sure enough, the note lay between two records, and you pulled it out, smiling triumphantly.

“Wow, that didn’t take you long!”

“Right? This one was so much easier than the last one.”

You’re almost there! Do you remember when I first brought you to this shop? We just looked around and listened to records for hours. It’s one of my fondest memories of us.

You did remember that. In the corner of the shop, there was a record player, and the two of you had just listened to record after record, Rosé even teaching you to dance to some of them, the two of you the only ones in the store because it was getting late. You’d been so happy that day, and fondness swelled up in your chest as you remembered her playing the guitar for you along with a record you’d picked out. It would have been impossible for you not to fall in love.

Iced or hot, freshly baked, everything is always good

You knew immediately what this note meant. Smiling, you gave Lisa a little wave. “Thanks for your help!”

“I didn’t even do anything! But you’re welcome!”

The cafe where Jisoo worked was on campus, a popular spot for students because of how good the coffee and food tasted. It was also the go-to spot for you and Rosé whenever she wanted coffee, since Jisoo gave her a good discount. The two of you spent plenty of time there, both on dates and just hanging out with her friends, and you knew how much she raved about the coffee and food, so you were sure this was it. Plus, the fact that Jisoo worked there was a bit of a giveaway, so as you walked in, you were confident.

“Good afternoon, stranger,” Jisoo said from behind the counter as you walked up, looking around. “Can I get you anything to drink?” You didn’t really want anything after the smoothie earlier, so you laughed and shook your head.

“I think you know why I’m here.”

“I do, but I have a job to do too.” With a laugh, she picked up a water cup. “At least drink some water so my manager doesn’t accuse me of letting people loiter.”

“Deal,” you said, taking the cup with a smile. “I’m guessing you’re under strict instructions not to help me too?”

“You guessed right. I’m just here to make sure nobody moves your hint.”

“Right. Thanks for the water!” You held up the cup before turning around to walk further into the cafe. You weren’t sure where she’d hide a note this time, but the two of you did have a table that you frequented, so you headed that way. Sure enough, as you approached, you saw the teddy bear sitting in Rosé’s usual seat. Laughing softly, you walked over and picked it up, taking the note from its little paws to read it.

You’ve already gotten this far! I won’t keep you searching forever, though. This is the last hint!

A garden has gotten one more rose.

You blinked down at the paper as you held the teddy bear tight in your arms. Garden? What garden? You guessed that Rosé was probably the rose, but a garden. You furrowed your eyebrows as you sipped your water, thinking back. Had the two of you visited a garden recently? Or had she mentioned anything? Or maybe it was something you’d said....

An idea popped into your head and you pulled out your phone, quickly opening up Instagram. After a few minutes of scrolling, you found what you were looking for. One of your friends had recently gone to a garden with a restaurant in it, and you’d brought it up to Rosé when you saw it, because it just looked so pretty. The tables were all surrounded by gorgeous flowers, not to mention that the food looked so good too. This has to be where she was waiting.

Quickly, you looked up the address and turned to head out, giving Jisoo a little wave goodbye as you set out, relying on your GPS. As it turned out, the garden wasn’t far away at all, and after changing into something a little more anniversary-date-worthy, it took you no time at all to get there. As you stepped inside the garden, a map told you where to find the restaurant, located in the middle.

It took you a little bit to find your way through the maze of flowers and plants, but you were soon standing in front of the little restaurant. Taking a deep breath to contain the giddiness in your chest, you walked up to the host, who gave you a friendly smile.

“Hello there, dinner for one?”

“Actually, I think I’m meeting someone here. She would have probably made a reservation under the name Rosé?”

“A reservation for two?”

“Yes!”

“Right this way, please.” The host lead you towards the back of the restaurant before gesturing towards a private room, covered with a curtain. “This is your room.”

“Ah, thank you.” A bit nervous, you stepped forward and peeked inside. There, looking at the flowers, was Rosé, and your face almost burst with your smile as you stepped inside. “Babe. Happy anniversary.”

She looked up at the sound of your voice and gave you a smile in return, standing up to greet you. “You made it! How did you like the scavenger hunt?”

“It was cute! It had to take forever making it though. How did you do it?”

“I’m not giving away my secrets.” After giving you a little hug, she pulled you down to sit beside her. “I’m glad you figured them all out, though. I was a little nervous that I made it too long or weird.”

“No, I had a lot of fun! Sorry if I kept you waiting. I didn’t text because I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh no, don’t worry, I just had Jisoo text me when you got to the cafe.” She let out a little giggle and you huffed.

“Wow, so much for surprising you.”

“I think the restaurant would get upset if I just waited around all day.”

“True,” you said with a laugh. Your heart was full to bursting, giddy and warm and happy as she held your hand. “It was nice to visit all those places again. We’ve made some great memories, haven’t we?”

“We have. I cherish all the moments I spent with you. But I wasn’t about to make you run all over the city, so I just picked my favorite ones.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” you said, jokingly knocking her shoulder with your own. “Oh. I got you a gift too. Here.” You quickly dug out your carefully wrapped present and handed it over. Gently, she unwrapped it, eyes wide and curious, and you took the time to admire her. How had you gotten so lucky?

“A necklace?” Inside the box was a dainty necklace with a silver rose and two small stones, and you bit your lip, nervous as you explained it.

“The two stones are our birthstones. I had it made for you.”

“Babe! How much did this cost? You’re a college student!”

“So are you, and you set up a scavenger hunt and got us a private room!”

“Good point.” Her smile showed how happy she was as she held up the necklace to get a better look. “Wow. They’re so pretty....”

“It’s to show that I’ll never leave your side,” you said, voice soft, and she turned to look at you with a little smile, squeezing your hand.

“Oh, I’m going to cry, that’s so sweet.”

“Don’t cry!”

“It’s a good cry! I promise!” With a giggle, she unclasped the necklace and handed it to you to let you put it around her neck. Once it was on, she touched it, fondness written all over her features as she leaned into you. “Hey, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. Especially after today. You know I love you too, right?”

“I do.” She pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, not caring if someone might open the curtain. For that moment, it was just the two of you in the world, surrounded by flowers and with tea cooling on the table, where a cake was just waiting to be eaten. Everything was perfect, and you couldn’t wait to spend another year with your Rose. “Happy anniversary, (Y/N).”

“Happy anniversary, Love.”

[cress-the-fander]

  Beach Day

TW: None

Logan sighed as he put his materials down onto his desk. It had been another difficult day for him. Especially when it seems like nothing he does actually works.

Of course, he knows this is false. Logically, he does indeed make a fundamental difference in Thomas’s life. He is the one that takes care of not only his thinking but the fundamentals as well. You know, filing memories, tracking the pathways of neurons within the brain, that kind of stuff. He does a lot behind the scenes, more than the other Sides really get to see.

Except for Patton.

You see, what makes Patton special is his relationship with Logan. They are in a romantic relationship. It’s okay if you’re surprised. Virgil and Roman certainly were shocked. Well, they were at first at least. But then they saw how the two interacted and saw that in the end, it was probably inevitable.

Of course, Logan was currently thinking about none of this. In fact, he was still trying to figure out how he should sort Thomas’s long term memory during his deep sleep. There are multiple options, as he can do it alphabetically, numerically, or chronologically; all of which being fantastic answers, of course.

However, his plans for the night would be interrupted when there was a knock at his door. There were multiple people that this could be. However, through logical deduction, we may narrow the options down to infer who it is accurately.

Deceit is definitely asleep. Logan has noticed that on the occasion he does decide to leave his quarters during the night, Deceit is simply never there. That fact makes him an unlikely answer.

Virgil was a more likely suspect. Logan has observed him being awake at times when he has pulled all-nighters and gone into the kitchen to get the food he needs for sustenance. However, during each of those encounters, Virgil was in the living room exclusively. Either listening to music on those soundproof headphones he had or watching some kind of horror movie on the television. It is unlikely that he would let himself be distracted from such things.

Remus was completely out of the question. Mostly because he would simply barge in rather than knocking, as he either lacks the capacity for comprehending commonly known manners, or he does and simply doesn’t care. Roman is also unavailable due to a similar situation. Seeing as Thomas is dreaming at the moment, and nothing is broken, he is likely too busy to bother him. Which leaves only one side left.

He remembered to push his chair in when he got up to go open his door. He realized that his heart was beating slightly faster than it usually does at his average BPM. There was, of course, an explanation for it.

He simply didn’t want to admit it.

Finally, he opened the door, and as he expected, Patton was there. Here like he always is, with those bright brown eyes and shining smile. “Hello, Patton. What is your business here with me?”

How could his eyes get even brighter with just a simple question? It wasn’t logical at all. Perhaps Patton in some ways was able to defy logic.

“Well Logi Bear, I have a surprise for you!” A surprise? Logan thought upon it. He had sort of worked himself into a state of being unable to progress in his work. He had gotten a “burnout” of sorts. Perhaps a small moment of a break from his work would be beneficial at the end of the night.

“What kind of surprise, Patton?” It was an understandable question. He preferred to learn more about this “surprise” rather than stay unknowing of the topic.

However, the only answer he got back was a giggle. “Well, if I just came out and told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?”

Logan tilted his head, confused. “Really? Then why would you tell me about this surprise at all? It only makes me more curious as to what this unknown incoming event is.

He wasn’t given an answer at first. He was instead pulled out of the room completely, the door closing behind him before he could realize what had happened. But when he did realize what happened, he looked at the other, confused. “Patton?”

“Hey, don’t worry!” The heart only said with a smile as he started pulling Logan down the hallway by the hand. The logician tried not to focus on the excitement that was practically vibrating the air around his partner. He also attempted to ignore the warmth that came from their hands being connected.

He failed miserably.

“Where are you taking me?” Logan was still confused, however, based on how his lover was dragging him out of his room in such a fashion, he must be taking him somewhere. “You do realize that I have an incredible amount of work I must complete, correct? Even when Thomas is busy with more creative pursuits, I-”

“Logi Bear, relax!” Logan had been interrupted, however, he found that he did not mind this time, oddly enough. “I know exactly how hard you’ve been working. That’s why I got this surprise for you!”

The brain contemplated this, before smiling softly. Of course, Patton would know and he cares enough to do something about it. He would do it for anyone, really. He is Thomas’s heart, so he would understandably do whatever he could to help his fellow sides when they need assistance. 

But what Patton was doing here is different than what he would do for the others. Logan might not know how yet, but he knew it would be. 

Patton looked back at Logan over his own shoulder, that signature smile still on his face. “I promise, you’ll enjoy it a lot!” Patton always keeps his promises, and he doesn’t make them unless he truly believes he can keep them.

However, Logan did get a hint of what Patton had in mind for him he saw just what their destination was. It was Roman’s door. Despite not seeing it very often, the golden details and the stained glass window in the center of it. The window depicted Roman using his sword and shield to kill a dragon. Most likely a dragon-witch knowing the prince.

“Patton, why have you taken me to Roman’s quarters? You know that I often have nothing to do in his sector.” It was accurate. Being Thomas’s center of logical thinking, he would have no business in the part of the mind that takes care of things to do with the imagination or creativity. 

But Patton must not care about that at the moment, based on how he hadn’t faltered a moment. “Well, why do you think? It’s for the surprise!”

Logan barely had time to analyze this information internally before he was being pulled into the room. Actually, upon entering, Logan realized something vital.

He wasn’t in a room at all.

Or at least, it was not a traditional room. The first thing he felt was the wind blowing against his face. Then, he was able to smell the salt of the ocean. It was-

“Welcome to the beach, Logan!” Once again, he was taken from his thoughts as Patton practically shouted from his joy. So there Logan went, being pulled along the beach by Thomas’s heart.

It was a beautiful beach, according to Logan’s opinion. The sand was fine and near white in its unblemished glory. Not a single piece of garbage was littered on the white sand. The water gently lapping on the shore is a wonderful crystal color, only possible in either a tropical destination or in one’s imagination.

“I told you you would like it!” Patton exclaimed, likely from looking at the face Logan was making. “What do you think of it?”

He was quiet for a moment, before smiling. “I believe that this will indeed be a quite enjoyable experience, Patton. Especially when you are here with me.”

Logan had incredibly limited power when it came to Daydreams. He simply was the exact opposite of what they stood for, so it was quite understandable. However, Patton was different. Despite not being Thomas’s creativity itself, like Roman or Remus, he did have some influence here. After all, the heart is often the genesis point for the things one creates in their imagination. 

So that would explain how Patton was able to conjure up things within the Daydream. Well, Logan had inferred that what he was seeing was of Patton’s creation. In front of him was a large beach umbrella, likely to block out the sun. The pole of it was a soft pink color, and the umbrella itself composed of sections of two shades of blue, one closer to that of the sky and the other a noticeably darker shade. There were also two blankets underneath it, and thanks to the large size of the umbrella they were completely covered in shade. The towel to the left of Logan had a sleek design on it, minimalist while still being stylish. The other had images of multiple kittens on it in all sorts of poses and positions that most would find “cute”.

It was obvious which towel was for which person.

Lastly, there was a basket seated in the sand between the two towels and in front of the umbrella. It was wicker and was a decent size as well. Logan was unable to see it’s contents, however, as the top of it was closed.

“What do you think?” Logan turned to see Patton looking at him with that shining hope in his eyes, hands behind his back in excitement. “It’ll be just the two of us!” Patton must have done all of this for him. Well, it was more likely that Roman already had created the setting, as only he and Remus have the means do to something so complicated with Thomas’s imagination. Remus would have created something far more distressing. 

“I believe...this will be quite a wonderful experience.” It was all Logan believed he had to say. He assumed so at least, based on the happy squeal he received following his words.

Suddenly Patton was in his bathing suit. Logan must have spaced out, so he didn’t notice until Patton came closer to him, only inches apart. The other’s suit was simpler than one might expect for Patton. Swim trunks that were light blue are what he was wearing. It was simple, yet fitting. His usual clothes were lying on the towel that Logan had inferred to be the others. It looks like it was his drying cloth indeed. He also had his glasses on, though that was understandable. Even in the Imagination, it would be inadvisable to go swimming in the ocean

“Come on Logan!” Patton had taken a gentle hold on Logan’s polo shirt. He was tugging on it slightly, but not enough to make it wrinkle. “Get into your swimwear so we can go into the water!” Suddenly that familiar gleam entered his eyes. Oh no. “After all, I already...” Please no. “...beach you to it!”

Puns were not a high form of humor. Logan should not laugh. 

And yet he did. It was just a snicker, but he couldn’t hold it back. Though it was worth it to see that look on Patton’s face. The one only Logan ever really got to see.

“Okay Patton, okay.” He obliged the other, snapping away his clothes with his own swimsuit to replace it. Logan is not one who usually goes swimming, but he does have one ready for occasions such as these. It was a simple dark blue pair of trunks, however, it was sufficient.

Then, something unexpected happened. Patton kissed him. Right on the lips. “I love you, Logi Bear.”

Logan’s BPM skyrocketed without his permission, and he could feel his face flush an abnormal amount. Patton always had this effect on him. In fact, he was the only one of the sides that was able to do this to him. However, he had been so distracted by his own reaction that he didn’t even realize how the other was rushing down the sand to get to the water.

“Logan, hurry up! I’m going to beach you to the water!” Patton called when he was about halfway there.

Logan decided to make sure the other wouldn’t have to wait for him.

So he ran after Patton, just like he always does.

[writeforcarat]

Home [Part 2]

—Cat Shelter Volunteer!Wonwoo × Reader (feat. Jun) —Fluff [PART 1]

The next morning, Wonwoo was jolted from his seat behind the reception desk, when he heard the front door open, only to see Jun—his co-volunteer who miraculously recovered from a bad bout of food poisoning overnight—walk into the shelter; the smile that had already formed at the corner of his lips abruptly waning into a pout.

“You okay?” Jun asked. The sudden change in his colleague's expression was too hard to miss.

“Er—” Wonwoo scratched the back of his head, trying to come up with an answer. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You had some bad sashimi over the weekend and now you seem fine.”

“Well, I’m still alive, aren’t I? But it looks like you’re not too happy to see me today. Or were you expecting someone else?” Jun asked with a smirk, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.  

“I just didn’t expect you to come in for work so soon. That’s all.”

Jun threw Wonwoo a look of suspicion before heading off to the locker room to leave his stuff.

Falling back in his seat with a sigh, Wonwoo tried his best to divert his thoughts because the truth was, he had been waiting for you. In fact, he pulled an all-nighter just to finish his project, so he could come to the shelter that day and break some good news to you. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so excited about going to work.

You arrived about an hour later, the signed drop-off form in your hand. Expecting to see Wonwoo, you were quite disappointed to be greeted by an unfamiliar face from behind the reception desk. He was a good-looking young man—handsome, actually—but you couldn’t care less.

“May I help you?” he asked, noticing how you were anxiously looking over his shoulder.  

“I’m sorry—um—I’m looking for Wonwoo.” you said “I’m Y/N. He texted me last night about the cat I dropped off here yesterday.” You placed the drop off form on the desk.

“Ah,” the boy clapped his hands together, then collected the form for filing. “Wonwoo doesn't work here anymore."

"Wait, what?"

Laughing at your bewildered expression, the boy said, "I was kidding. He's at the back. Go have a seat, while I call him.”

“Thanks.” Slightly annoyed, you scooted over to the couches that were exhausted by deep scratches, as the not-so-funny jester disappeared from behind the desk.  

Wonwoo was tending to the cats in the playroom, but mostly looking after the cat you brought in, making sure the other cats don’t bother it. Its injured foreleg had been bandaged by the vet to ensure a speedy recovery.

“Hey, Wonwoo,” Jun called, peeking through door. “There’s a girl named Y/N waiting for you outside.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo’s head perked up, despite trying his best to conceal his excitement. Scooping the spotted white and grey cat he was petting, he stood up to exit the room.

“Last time I checked, people came here to look for cats and not humans like you,” Jun teased, to which Wonwoo responded with a “Shut up.”

“Just saying.”  

Wonwoo found you at the receiving area, flipping through the pages of a pet magazine's back issue. While he did think you looked attractive the first time he saw you (raincoat, wet hair, messed up makeup, and all), he was quite stunned by how beautiful you actually were.

For that day, you deliberately picked the nicest outfit you had—a lavender sun dress, which you paired with white canvas trainers. Although the ensemble was not exactly that special, it was an escape from your usual T-shirt-and-trousers get-up. It also took you a good 30 minutes to fix your hair into a ponytail that looked Pinterest-worthy kind of messy and not downright unruly.

“Y/N,”

You looked up to see Wonwoo, cradling the cat against his chest, walking towards you.

“Oh my, there she is,” you cooed, gingerly taking the cat in your arms from Wonwoo’s. Compared to the last time you saw her, she’s a lot cleaner now and looks much more relaxed. “How is she?”

“After running some tests yesterday, the vet ruled out serious infections and diseases,” Wonwoo said. “So yeah, apart from her sprained leg, she’s perfectly fine.”

“That’s great,” you exclaimed. “Heard that, Kitty? You’re okay!”

Your smile must have been infectious, because Wonwoo was beaming, too. Seeing you overjoyed like that made him inexplicably happy. “And… there’s more good news,” he continued.

“What is it?” You asked excitedly.

“Apparently, Kitty is expecting.”

“Oh my God!” You gasped, the cat stirring in your arms.

“The vet saw it in her X-ray results yesterday,” Wonwoo explained. “We thought we were going to find a fracture or, maybe, something worse, but what we got was something even better.”

“My goodness!” Excitement mixed with disbelief, your emotions were on an overdrive, your brain trying to process the information you’d just received. “She’s going to be a mum?”

“Yes, Y/N, Kitty's going to be a mum!”

You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t want to throw your arms around Wonwoo at that moment, because you did. What you didn’t know was that he felt the same way, too.

Soon enough, visiting the shelter had become part of your daily routine. You’d drop by early in the morning before going to work at the academy. Usually, you’d help out in taking care of Kitty—you decided to name her that, laughing off your lack of creativity—but you didn’t mind looking after the other cats as well. You had even memorised their names and how they looked.

Your presence at the shelter also became the volunteers’ new normal that they even encouraged you to be part of their team—an offer, which you politely declined due to the demands of your actual job. You assured them that you’d help them out whenever you could, though.

Wonwoo was the happiest about having you at the shelter almost every day. Little did he know that aside from Kitty, he was the main reason you visited so often. Together, you’d run errands and chores—some of which he previously did not enjoy doing, but with you around, the tasks he used to hate turned out to be so much more bearable.

You, too, liked spending time with Wonwoo. You especially loved how he’d tuck stray strands of your hair behind your ear as you cleaned after the cats, or how he’d bring you some snacks before you left for work—little gestures that never failed to send butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

One morning, just after refilling the cats’ feeding bowls, Wonwoo finally approached you to ask you out for dinner. The invitation came out as a mumble at first, but when you said you couldn’t understand him, he repeated it, his words loud enough for Jun to turn around and give him two thumbs up. Blood rushed to his cheeks, making him blush in embarrassment.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you smiled and his bashfulness was replaced by elation. You agreed to meet at a restaurant near your academy later that day.

Over dinner, you got to know more things about Wonwoo, like how he couldn’t eat seafood (you ordered pork barbecue and vegetable wraps instead), how enthusiastically he’d geek over videogames, how he’d makes use of puns to make up for his dry sense of humour, and how he’d make this adorable nose scrunch whenever he laughed (okay, you had seen it before, but it was a sight you’d never get tired of).

Everything he did and said were so endearing, and just when you thought you couldn’t find him any more attractive, he’d do something and you’d feel your heart skip another beat.

You capped off that night at a café, your conversations getting deeper and more personal as time wore on. He’d told you about his dream of becoming a singer, which his family dismissed as a waste of time. You'd also opened up to him about why you came to Seoul in the first place.

“I needed a change in my life. A change of environment,” you said, stirring your cup of hot chocolate. “Things back at where I’m from were not exactly working out as planned, so I left to have another start, search for happiness, and, maybe, find a new home, too.”

Your gazes met, and you realised that your eyes were welling with tears. You didn’t want to be a dramatic mess on your first date, but there you were—overwhelmed by bottled up feelings that only Wonwoo was able to draw out from you.

“How about now?” Wonwoo asked softly, taking your hand resting on the table into his. A warm smile formed on your lips at the sight of your hands intertwined. “Are you happy?”

“I think it’s too early for me to answer that,” you glanced back up at Wonwoo, who was looking intently at you. “But right here, right now, I’m feeling so much better... with you.”

Gaaaaah!!! This is my attempt at writing fluff, and I dunno if it’s working at all! Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed Part 2! I wish I get the time to work on Part 3 soon, which would probably the last instalment of this story. NGL, I still can’t believe this turned out to be longer than I thought it would be.

[yvixtrae]

4:17 AM

Taking another sip from your third can of Monster Java for the night to try to fight off the fatigue from the past few days leeching at your bones, you glare down at both your laptop screen of which is displaying your still unfinished fantasy concept project and the study-guide papers with Hangul scattered next to it for your project in Korean. The EDM playlist you’d put on earlier for background noise continues to play, and you sigh as you put the half-empty can down to try and pen down things you want to and need to include in your Korean paper, occasionally glancing back to your still-waiting digital sketches. Though the clock is reading a little past quarter after 4 in the morning and you’re pushing on your third all nighter, you continue diligently, figuring that you couldn’t afford to sleep when the rest of your day hours were spent part-timing at the uni library and attending long classes at uni as well. Ayno sits criss-cross by your side, brushing off his own sleepiness as he looks up at you with concern, floppy golden retriever ears framing his still soft features. Your usual dark circles had only gotten more prominent, and you seemed much more down than usual now that you were swamped with literally half a dozen assignments and projects alongside twice the amount of commissions—down enough to be hardly eating. The stress and anxiety overwhelmed everything else, like your exhaustion for example. Unsure of what exactly to do to help you, Ayno whines under his breath and pouts to himself, wracking his brain on what could possibly get you to take a break and eat and rest to feel even a little better for just a little while.

“Y/N…” He nudges your leg and paws lightly at it.

When the only response you give is a tired smile and a few seconds of running your fingers through his fluffy yet nearly silken navy strands before going back to your work, his pout only grew. With a louder whine, he tries again.

“Y/N… Please come to bed…”

Looking over at him, you simply shake your head. “I’ve still gotta finish my fantasy concept project, start my Korean project, finish my creative writing paper, and finish my part for the group project. I just can’t…”

His ears droop a bit at that, but then a thought hits him. He knows that there’s one thing you never say no to: Chocolate chip pancakes. As you turn back to your work again, he gets up to leave your shared bedroom, pleased with himself for thinking of the idea. The minutes tick by, one by one, but it’s not long before a familiar and pleasant smell reaches your nose. Turning around in your chair, you see him with a hopeful expression and a small plate of chocolate chip pancakes.

“Will you at least take a break now??” He asks hesitantly, handing you the dish and taking his spot next to you again.

“I have to. Chocolate chip pancakes are more important.” You laugh lightly, picking up one of the pancakes to take a bite.

He bounces slightly, glad that you’re finally taking a break. Tail wagging slightly, he waits patiently as you eat. After downing all of the pancakes, you feel full and satisfied for the first time this week and smile appreciatively at Ayno. After downing the rest of your Monster Java, you consider trying to do more work, but then think better of it. Saving your progress on your laptop, you then exit out of everything and close it before tidying up your papers and folders on your desk, figuring that maybe it really is high time to at least rest mentally, even if you’re sure that you’ll be unable to sleep for a fair bit due to both your racing thoughts and the amount of caffeine you’ve had. Grabbing your phone, you change your music to something more chill and turn down the volume by a little before getting up from your chair. Ayno bounds over excitedly to the bed, tail still wagging, flopping down with a small huff before crawling under the covers and disappearing. As soon as you just simply get on the bed and start to slide under the comforter as well to just keep your legs a bit warm while you sit, he’s already wiggling around and moving to press himself into your side. His head now peeking out from under the comforter, he whines and nudges your thigh, giving his best puppy face. You give a sigh at this, abandoning any hope of staying sitting up and on your phone, placing it to the side and leaning down to press your lips gently against his forehead, of which elicits a happy giggle from him, before moving to lay down beside him. After a few moments of shifting around to get comfortable, he scoots to curl a bit and tuck himself against you even more, his back to your chest and head under your chin.

“Y/N…” He starts, voice small, and you hum as a response for him to continue, “Please don’t ever do all of this again. Missing sleep, skipping meals… Just not… Looking after yourself.”

Your heart aches at the sound of worry and hurt in his tone, and you feel a pang of guilt at him feeling worried and hurt over you.

“I get that… That you really take your assignments and projects and commissions seriously… But… But I just…” He starts to stumble over his words before trailing off, a few more moments passing before he starts up again, “Seeing you so bent over those things to where you’re on the verge of giving out due to being so tired and going on to where you’re not eating and you seeming so sad and nervous and stressed… I don’t like it…”

He turns around partially to peer up at you, chocolatey orbs shining with warmth and affection, and even the beginnings of tears. “I love you, and I don’t like it when you’re not smiling and laughing lots. When you’re not being happy and healthy.”

The all too familiar feeling of being lovestruck hits you again over his words and expression, over how sweet of a puppy he really is. As he sniffles quietly, and moves to turn back on his side, you sit up and lean over him to gently wipe away the building tears with your hoodie sleeve.

“It’s okay, Ayno… I’m fine. I just… Sometimes forget that I have to actually look after myself.” You murmur softly, carding your fingers through his hair again at a languid pace, “But I promise… I promise that I’ll do better to take care of myself. So don’t fret.”

You take the time to gingerly rub at his ears, and he leans into your touch with a content hum.

“Also,” You continue with a small bit of a laugh, “Thank you so much for the pancakes.”

“Anytime…” He mumbles, almost sounding shy, but a smile still tugs on the corners of his lips.

You move your hand to lightly rub his belly, and as he rolls onto his back, you adjust to where your weight rests more on your bent arm beside his head. He grins at the belly rubs, but his eyelids have drooped to a pretty sleepy-looking half-lid. Noticing this, your heart melts a little bit at the cuteness, and you continue to rub his stomach as the thought of mayhaps kissing him crosses your mind. Starting to lean in, you hesitate, almost freezing in place as your face heats up a bit with a blush.

“Oh jeez.” He laughs, remembering how this had happened the first and last time you’d kissed, and knowing how he’d have to be the one to close the distance.

Leaning up, he seals his lips over yours in a gentle liplock, trying and failing to bite back the urge to smile into it. A heartbeat passes, then another, and a few more before he pulls away.

“And… Sleep time.” You move back, gnawing on the inner of your cheek to hide your own smile as you take your spot as big spoon again.

He chokes back a cackle at your reaction, knowing well that you’ve shut down from the kiss, but lets it go as he tucks himself back against you. “Yeah, sleep time.”

[kreekey]

He Turns Me On, But Doesn’t Touch Me (Ch 2)

Chapter 2/?: “I got a message on acid that you should destroy your ego, and I did.”

Pairing: John Lennon/Paul McCartney

Genre: Angst, Hurt

Words: 4682

Chapter Summary:  

John only ever took LSD in the studio once, accidentally. Typical of his character, Paul takes care of him. His affection, as impenetrable as it seems, cannot save John from his own desires.

(See the AO3 Post for author’s notes)

“It’s been coming for a long time. It’s often the best way, without thinking about it too much. Just slip into it.

“You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot. It was very tiring, wasted me, always wasted me. But [I thought] ‘I’ve got to do it, for my well-being’.”

 ~

John Lennon made it easy for you to wish you’d never met him. Especially if you were Paul McCartney and you were running up to the rooftop to save the man from falling to his death.

The absence of John’s vacant stare on him in the control room should’ve tipped Paul off sooner, added to the fact he stopped hearing clumsy jokes tumbling from the corner. But it took until George Martin stepped back in from nowhere, notifying the band that John will be back in a moment. He’s looking at the stars on the roof. Now, John was certainly getting more eccentric, but he wasn’t so strange as to stop in the middle of a recording session to look at a boring British sky. Not while in a proper state of mind, at least. The realization that John must not be sober quickly brought the realization that a tripping John should not be left alone on a roof thirty feet high without rails. Which is why Paul is where he is now: crashing through the roof’s doors to save a man on LSD from probable death or injury.

But John was found perfectly safe. There was no danger. John felt as safe as a baby in their mother’s arms as he stood against the very edge, teasing the drop. The sky looked too fantastic to take a single step back. Leaning into the door frame, Paul watched him for a moment. The cool wind combed his hair and his ragged breaths were smoothed by the stillness. He was as fascinated by John as John was by the night.

“Johnny?” Paul spoke as softly as the breeze. He took a tentative step forward, careful not to disturb. But John was untouchable, unflinching. So, Paul let out a tense breath, putting his hands in his pockets as he finished his strides. There was no danger. When he was an inch away, close enough to recognize the way soft brown hair curled upon his head, Paul didn’t pull John away from the edge. Instead, he took his place beside him.

“Aren’t they fantastic?” John asked in child-like wonder, turning his head to Paul. There was a hope in his eyes, shining through his old-fashioned glasses. There was an epiphany that, when remembered in two-days time, would mean nothing. Right here and right now, John was convinced that life was beautiful.

Paul paused to explore John’s glassy eyes. Despite himself and despite the knowledge that by all accounts the sky was ordinary, a smile spread across his face like butter. Without ever having to stare at the stars, he answered, “Of course, John.”

Turning back to the sky, John embraced the soft warmth radiating from his chest. He let himself believe that the connection he had long missed was somehow remade. They stood there for a long while and John gently swayed against the other’s arm, unaware, like a human tuning fork. Paul took his time before gently tugging at John’s shirt and saying, “You’re goin’ to get cold, y’know. Let’s get inside.”

Harrison and Martin, the only ones still left working, perked their ears in the control room as John and Paul made their way onto the studio floor. John was still caught up in his universe, and Paul was trying to ease him out. It was hard to hear any reassurance when his eyes were busy roaming the floors, then the equipment, and then the crew above. It was as if it were Abbey Road Studio’s first reveal.

John made his way to the control room by deliberately double-checking his steps up the staircase, occasionally braving to look ahead before continuing with the same intensity. It got better when he remembered Paul was right behind him, holding him up with a strong hand on his back. Martin watched the curious sight, deciding that it was just another one of John’s quirks that he’d discovered too late. Geo leaned back in the chair beside him, smirking.

When John finally opened the control room’s door, he stood there timidly with all eyes on him. Paul squeezed inside behind him imperceptibly. A dizzying array of buttons, switches, sliders, and doo-hickeys held John’s fascination as the proper thing to say became a haze. The ability to express himself became as dry as his mouth.

Finally, after a glance at the sky, he managed, “Wow, look at that.” Paul and Martin realized the statement’s anti-profoundness when they craned their necks upwards to see… a ceiling. John still stood stiffly, wondering if that was the thing he meant to say.

But George Harrison didn’t bother looking up. The silent connection he had with John ever since their first horrifyingly amazing trip together was enough to explain everything. Geo smiled when they made eye contact and John was zapped with the realization that oh, I must have taken acid. It wasn’t a great revelation, as John blurted simply, “Well, I can’t go on. I feel strange and I have to go.”

It was interesting to face the three reactions. George held onto his smirk, watching without a word. Martin let out a slow sigh, trying to understand the inner mechanisms of John Lennon. The producer’s innocence hadn’t caught up with the Beatles’ increasing adventurousness. But Paul looked at him as one would at a child who’d made a mess of his food as if he were a helpless little boy. Maybe he’d understand me, John thought lazily, if he bothered to try acid like the rest of us. He could finally float down to our level.

The four decided to continue to try and record on the studio floor, after much convincing for John. Making what felt like his second-ever trip down the Abbey Road stairs, John relished in every creak of the steps. When he finally joined the rest at the base, he found that he wasn’t being led to a similar warmth that he felt on the rooftop. Rather, John was handed a colourful Rickenbacker, a mic, and nonsensical lyrics scrawled onto a messy page. The others’ explanations didn’t help him to sing a single right note.

“You’ll have to do it and I’ll just stay and watch,” John stepped back from the mic after Martin called the Beatles to stop for the fifth time. He held his hands up as if he was caught back in Hamburg in a dirty alley and shook his head, continuing tentatively, “Is.. is that alright?

Although the rest went on without complaint, John felt an uneasiness creeping up from his toes. It became uncomfortable to watch them work as if John was invading their privacy and forgetting that they were playing some of his own writings.

About twenty minutes later, John piped up again in his most polite voice, “Is this alright?” He was answered with some overly kind confirmations that yes, John was welcome to sit there and watch. Geo was the only one who didn’t coddle him, cracking a joke that didn’t completely make sense to John but made him laugh nonetheless. His anxiety subdued for a moment, before beginning to bubble up again.

Less than an hour later, John interrupted with a frantic, “Are you sure it’s alright?” They assured him again and sat him down, but it didn’t do much good. The creative presence of John was torn down by fervent apologies for nothing.

“It’s useless without a capable John,” Martin sighed. “We’ll break early for the night.”

  Paul opened Abbey Road’s doors, Geo and Martin already departed. He found John bouncing on his toes on the edge of the concrete stairs going up to the studio. From the vantage point, John looked around the streets, face contorted in thought. London was still quiet and dark, hiding a way back to a spot in bed next to Cynthia in their family home.

“Macca, I told the driver to come, didn’t I? Where is he?” John huffed, his voice a shade uneven.

“You scheduled him to come when we were supposed to finish the session, and we were supposed to pull an all-nighter. He won’t be here for hours,” Paul tiredly made his way past John, onto the sidewalk. “Don’t drive yourself home, you’re in quite a state. That’s why I don’t take the rubbish, look what it’s done to you!”

Behind him, John nodded without a word. The solution seemed easy enough: Just wait for the driver to come. It made enough sense at the time.

When Paul glanced back and read that on the other man’s face, he groaned. Of course that wasn’t going to happen. Before he could refuse, John was roughly grabbed and pulled along for the short walk to Paul’s Cavendish home.

  John stumbled in Paul’s living room, similar to how he’s been stumbling along all night. They hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, content with the moonlight pouring from the large window on the far wall. “I think you stole some of me gran’s knick-knacks,” he called to the unseen Paul, who’d gone into another room.  The long, glass vase of yellow daffodils lifted from the mantle dirtied John as he turned it in his hands. The stem seemed to bend between the water and the air. He knew that it was just some sort of refraction of light, but a spot in his brain nagged of something fantastic yet gleefully incomprehensible. The science teacher at Quarry Bank once tried to explain it to the class using all the proper words. John was busy watching the flower for the flower.

Paul’s entrance back into the homely living room was not acknowledged by John. He had just rediscovered the joy in watching the flower for the flower. Paul looked at him in that way again, as if John were a simple child and Paul were the adult. John shrunk at this misunderstanding, determined to change it tonight.

“D’you think this flower’s bent? The stem, I mean?” John held the vase up and spun it for effect as he found his way, sitting on a quaint coach.

“No, John,” Paul bit back a rude smile.

“Looks it though, doesn’t it?” John stuck the vase between them on a littered coffee table. The vase revolved in his fingers as he added, “But any gardener would tell you the water’s… well, it’s watering it, obviously. It’s letting it grow. There’s no real harm done. Just looks like it has a bad effect, is all.”

“Hm,” Paul wanted to roll his eyes.

“But to the untrained eye…” John went on lowly. “Let’s say you, Paul, you or me. To the average idiot, wouldn’t they be too afraid of what the water seems to be doing to the flower to realize all the good it does? I mean, it looks a little funny, but you look at the way it’s colours have all this great vibrance and psychedelia… The water makes it seem to bend, but it also makes it grow, doesn’t it? It’s a little scary at first, a little mind-numbing, but you’ve got to get over it, Paul. You’ve got to accept it and embrace it. At some point, anyway.”

There was a silence as Paul tittered, amused. John clicked his tongue and reached into his trouser pockets, throwing a metal pillbox onto the coffee table. Its occupants were made a bit too obvious by the psychedelic images painted on the cover. The hazy point or high metaphor or trippy comparison was thrown into the air, and Paul didn’t see much but rambling. He was too busy lighting a fag and sitting on the sofa to bother looking up at the clatter of John’s actions. There was no need to. That’s how he felt, anyway.

There was a chuckle from behind Paul’s cigarette smoke, saying, “You don’t know what you’re saying, you knob.”

“You don’t understand what I mean, Paul… You’ve not understood me for a while now,” John murmured, melting onto the floor, sitting in that peculiarly cross-legged way he often did.

“That’s not true,” Paul leaned in to find John’s avoidant eyes. “We’ve just written an album together, remember? You can’t do that with someone you don’t know, can you?”

John hummed in discontent, head in hand. It was no use fighting Paul. Paul held so much sense and responsibility and attentiveness that it sometimes felt like trying to argue with a professor. And John knew he was almost always wrong, anyway. As much as he wished him away, John still felt a watchful eye drilling into the side of his head.

The thick silence that enveloped them sickened Paul to his stomach. The ticks coming from the grandfather clock were the only ones making conversation. John fiddled his fingers and refused to lift his eyes from the floor, so the two drifted further and further apart.

Another sip of water drowned Paul’s worries before he stood, fished out one of the larger doses from John’s pillbox, and swallowed it in a gulp. It was all so accidental and delicate, Paul seemingly moving as a man possessed. John didn’t dare breathe, so as not to break the fragile balance. Taking his place beside John for the second time this night, Paul copied the other’s body and sat cross-legged, so close that they were practically on top of each other. It only became believable when John turned and found Paul’s kind eyes staring back at him. The silence seemed to turn to a harmonic hum and they finally faced each other, naked and vulnerable. Paul’s never felt his heartbeat melt with another’s like this before.

It was unclear if Paul was only hallucinating the stars in John’s eyes. Not that it mattered. All his worries turned to dust, if only for a moment.

A moment turned into many, and the hour hand of the clock moved faster than it ever had before. They’ve been staring at each other absurdly long now, locked there by a merciless force. The magnetism between them caused John’s hands to shake, trying to resist from immediately pulling Paul into him, to finally hold each other. He knew better than to reach for Paul, only allowing himself to brush against him. They sat there for almost enough time to grant John life-long euphoria, but not quite. He’d need an eternity more of Paul to be satisfied. It was an indescribable, unattainable pleasure.

Staring at Paul was like staring at the morning sky. It was breathing fresh air, it was tasting crisp fruit. It was something John hadn’t done in a long time. Paul’s eyes contained the universe, and John didn’t need anything else. He walked in and explored every crevasse, every curve, every reflection, and every bump because it was all-encompassing and all-important.

At some point, Paul broke the silence, saying, “When does it end?” His voice came from somewhere far off, his mouth out of focus. John was reminded of where he was.

“Depends,” John spoke deeply, delicately. A cryptic smile crawled onto his face. “For hours, at least. Hours and hours.”

Paul’s slow nod and anxious eyes made John feel a bit lighter. He’s finally letting go of a bit of that responsibility, he thought. They’re finally getting to be curious, half-hazardous children again, which hadn’t happened for a while. Not since before they realized they were a phenomena, at least.

Of course, Paul will always take that responsibility a bit better than John, who wanted to run away and drop it like a hot pan. John felt a bit powerless beside him, a bit more squat. That’s not how it used to be. During the dance they had, it seemed that John’s toes were always being stepped on. Paul knew how to dance, though. He could do it with a thousand birds at three in the morning, but touching his best mate’s hand and meaning it just didn’t come as easily.

John was about to grab Paul’s wrist to desperately pull him into his own wonderful universe. Before he had the chance, Paul stood and stretched his neck awkwardly, consciously. He said sheepishly, “I’ve got to walk into the garden, for my well-being.” John felt transported into the middle of an Arctic night and Paul pushed open the sliding door, stepping into his familiar but John’s unknown. The latter sat there, pushing his knees into his chest, back to the garden. It was a bit shameful to already wonder when Paul will come back in. He cursed himself for being so helpless and surrendering himself to someone who just left, even for only a second. The world was directionless without Paul’s eyes.

John turned his attention around the living room again, dizzy from all the eye contact. It felt unnervingly just out of the realm of familiarity. In Mimi’s house, there’d be small, endearing trinkets strewn all over the home. As strict as she was, in some ways, Mimi was as funny as John. Eccentrically painted china, unknowable wooden figures, and enigmatic paintings mixed with the standard, suburban design of the building and its furniture. Then, the globby Sgt. Peppers poster, painted especially for the upcoming album, would come into sight. Sgt Peppers was Paul’s idea in the first place, of course. It reminded John that Paul owns every inch of this house. It felt as though Paul was controlling every floorboard and every edge of plaster, which John was intruding on. Burying his head between his knees, John screwed his eyes tight, waiting for the return of a warm presence.

When paisley shapes just began to swirl into his dark vision, John heard the glass sliding open again and felt the night wind rush around him. He waited until he could lift his eyes again, for footsteps to come in and kneel in front of him and comfort him. Instead, Paul’s stare on the down-trodden John made the room unbearably stuffy rather than safe. John waited. There was a throb of the stars. A pulse of flowing blood. A beat of silence. Then, a thud of the door shutting again.

John became hyper-aware of his state: A heavy breath out of the nose. Dry mouth. Shaking, but only as roughly as the grass sways. At the very least, John could still clearly see the outline of his shoes in the darkness. So he stayed frozen, waiting for the only knight he’s ever known. He became aware of how alone he was.

Eventually, Paul would come back inside. Only for moments. Not to resume what they had before. They’d sit around, moving like slugs, trying to explore all the shapes in their sight. Across from each other, not at each other. Paul stretched himself as if he was trying to contact everything in the house. John sat closed off and tight to himself, like a coil. Soon enough, Paul’d excuse himself and step into the garden. John didn’t turn and look into the glass to see what the other was doing, knowing it’d be silly to be that desperate. There were no acknowledgments at Paul’s comings and goings. He’d dissolve into and out of the scene and John would become emptier every time.

It was hard to distinguish between the times John felt loved and the times he felt distant. Often, Paul would sit beside him, right beside him, only just touching, and something would flow between them. John would feel a little less cold and he’d come closer to saying what he needed, “Touch me.” Paul was tired, but he was there for him. That is, until he wasn’t and he had to go excuse himself to the garden. It was completely understandable. In the garden, there was no underlier and Paul didn’t need to feel as if he were about to confront something. Yet John still felt like a girl left at the doorstep without a goodnight’s kiss. After an inconclusive amount of time, Paul would come in and sit just out of focus and their wavelengths would begin to overlap. The whole thing would start again and John was too distracted to make it into anything more.

Once, on another indefinite cycle, Paul came in sat cross-legged right in front of him. There was no reason why, just as there was no reason why John’s breath hitched in his throat. He couldn’t help but let it happen and stare back into the abyss. It felt good just to see him. Superficially, of course. Paul is the beauty in life. Not the stars, which John abandoned hours ago. Lifetimes ago.

“You’re beautiful, y’know,” John simpered after noticing the way Paul’s lashes curled above his eyes. It was one of the clearest things that were said in the hours of quiet and occasional murmuring. It was one of the most transparent things John still needed to work up the courage to admit. “Used to tease you about it. You, being the Cute Beatle. I used to get jealous of it, of all the birds you’d pull ‘n all the love you got. But, they were right about you. I understand it now.”

“Hm.” Paul’s mouth barely opened at all as he said, “You still do. You still tease.”

John laughed airily, despite himself. He didn’t mind that Paul just said almost nothing in the face of a hefty confession, albeit an obvious one. There was a clouded vision of a boyish face childishly hiding behind a mustache, responsibility, fame, and success. But he would always reveal himself when he laughed. It made John’s world shine. That’s why John didn’t mind when Paul smiled back at him, glossy-eyed and non-processing, unchanging. There was a love that John felt bubbling up within him, tearing out the things that used to make him hesitate.

It was a love that didn’t need to hurt. But of course, like many things in his life, it often did. Perhaps because of his own doing. Sometimes it left John floating on cloud nine, feeling as if life was beautiful… until the trip was over and John was back on Earth, the stars gone from the sky. He’d glance over and Paul would be staring at him, confused because he never lifted his feet off the ground.

But John started to believe that Paul had finally caught up to him, just now. He believed that someone had finally seen life as he did. It was so perfect that John didn’t stop himself from gripping one of Paul’s wrists, pulling him towards him a millimetre at a time. Their breaths were intermingling and hot. There was more intimacy than with any girl either had ever picked up at 1 AM. Paul’s eyes widened and started bouncing back and forth between John’s face and his own helpless wrist, but this was ignored. John let his body lean forward and close his eyes, their noses bumping, his thoughts so clear and confident under Paul’s alluring spell.

Then he felt Paul’s wrist tug back, very gently. Gently wanting to escape John.

When John opened his eyes, jumping back to reality, Paul wasn’t facing him. He was staring at the carpet, silent, his lips pulled into a tight line. It was impossible to read his downturned eyes. John wanted to mumble an apology. Nothing came out. It would do no good to try and contact Paul, as they were now a million miles apart.

Sitting there in the room that’d just turned freezing, the two pretended the other wasn’t there. The more John thought of it, the less he could breathe. John didn’t allow himself to do as he needed, not anymore. That would mean doing something stupid, like saying, “Please, I’m sorry.” or “Please, don’t leave me.” or “What did I do wrong?” What was Paul supposed to say to that? John had snapped out of his delusions. It felt terrible.

“Well, I think I’d better get to bed now,” Paul whispered after some time. This sentence made John’s world stop turning. It confirmed that he did ruin everything. That his desires were destructive, unearned.

As Paul picked himself off the ground, their thoughts became dissonant. Paul handled himself carefully as if every limb were made of lead. His legs lifted him up the steps to his bedroom, going further into the inky darkness, further from John. John followed the pinpoint of Paul’s soul, bobbing up and down upon the stairs, leaving him behind. It was a deliberate process. He waited, foolishly, for Paul to turn and say, “You’re goin’ to get lonely, y’know. Let’s get to bed.” But Paul left him, muttering something about the guest room. Something else important missed John’s ears as he was busy trying to bear the steadily lifeless atmosphere. Those four or five or six-hundred hours they spent together had crumbled.

“Paul?” John said, and the creaking of the steps stopped. “You won’t sleep.”

From midway up the stairs, Paul said, “…I know that. I’ve still got to go to bed, John.” The creaks hadn’t resumed, not yet. John swallowed thickly. What could be said to get Paul to turn around? It was true that they’d better stop. That was a lot of fun, now Paul knew he had to go and sleep this off. That was the difference: Paul knew when to stop, but John wanted to hang on to it all for as long as he could, even if it was long gone.

“Paul,” John’s feeble voice echoed through the halls. “Don’t go. I think… I think I need you. Not just for tonight. I think I… ” The end of his sentence refused to come out of his mouth.

Paul hesitated, believing this is just a hallucination. John didn’t finish, John didn’t stand up. John did nothing that could be construed as concrete or sincere.

“John, you don’t need me, you never did. I’ve got to sleep this off, it’s wasted me,”  a far-off voice answered. ”I think you’ve got to sleep it off, too. It’s getting to you.” He sounded drained and exhausted, matching the mood.

And then in an instant, John was alone. Alone, because that was his natural state. His proper state. It was no surprise anymore, considering all John does. He took the kindness Paul offered and he twisted it into something he knew he didn’t deserve.

When Paul came downstairs in the late morning, there was a boy unconscious on his couch. There was a sense of normalcy. It was easy to pretend it was just like any other lazy morning because Paul thought of only the morning. The boy radiated innocence. As long as John doesn’t stand and try to explain and excuse everything, it’d be okay.

Paul knew he shouldn’t let John stay much longer, yet he began to brew tea for the two anyway. Paul knew that he should stray away from the man, but he set down a mug and began to shake John awake nonetheless. It was always obvious it’d be best to stray from John. That never stopped Paul before.

John heard a soft “Good morning” before he could process anything else. Opening his eyes with a smile, he saw his best friend standing over him, and he was safe. The night before had not yet set into his mind. For now, it was calm and it was good. We’re better off this way, Paul thought, choosing every word. If we just forget it ever happened, we’ll be okay. John made it easy for you to wish you’d never met him, but you could ignore that thought. It just meant ignoring a part of John as well.

 ~

“There’s something disturbing about it. You ask yourself, ‘How do you come back from it? How do you then lead a normal life after that?’ And the answer is, you don’t.”

[jaemtens]

The Canned Genie

monsta x| kihyuk | side jookyun | 11.5k | ao3

summary:  Lee Minhyuk was just making dinner when he ends up with a genie that he didn’t ask for. Yoo Kihyun was just chilling in his “lamp” when he ends up with several headaches that he didn’t ask for.

☆ The First Wish ☆

Minhyuk dropped his backpack on the ground and dramatically collapsed on his rickety bed.

He should eat, he thought to himself.

Long ago, he was sure that the bed frame would iminently give out, folding on itself while he was sleeping on it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do if that happened -- sleep on the floor? That’s not the worst, right? A few days passed, and he was pretty sure he was in the clear. His bed was just rickety and old, even if it was comfy and, um, well-used. He could definitely fall asleep right now. Minhyuk rolled to his side, hugging his blanket and burying his face into it. It was so warm; yup, he could fall asleep right now if he wanted to.

He really should eat, he thought again.

Minhyuk was so tired. Beyond tired. Exhausted? Yeah, exhausted was the word. Today, he had to work the early-morning shift at the convenience store before heading to his night lecture for Quantitative Chemistry aka Quant aka Hell On Earth. Yeah, yeah, he knew that choosing chemistry as his major was definitely not the easy way out. He knew that every waking moment of his four-year degree was going to be hard. But, even if your average Biology or Pre-Medical major Suffered (yes, Suffered, not suffered. Just ask a biology major about organic chemistry and you’ll know why) through every chemistry class, Minhyuk took most of them in stride. Quant was a whole ‘nother level, and his brain ached just thinking about the class. He didn’t know how he made it through today’s lecture, and he certainly didn’t remember dragging himself through the dark streets back to his apartment building.

Just get up and eat, you lard! he chided himself.

He finally acquiesced to his conscience. With a prolonged groan, Minhyuk rolled off his bed, his gangly limbs steadying the sleep-deprived college student. His eyes were barely open, the light streaming from the incandescent bulb above him too much to handle right now. Minhyuk dragged himself to the kitchen, nearly tripping on his bag along the way. God, he was a mess.

Look, he wasn’t usually a mess, okay? Just after Quant. And Inorganic. And -- never mind.

Just how was Minhyuk so perpetually tired?

Well, first, he was a college student. An unhealthy dose of exhaustion was the name of the game. Bonus tired points because he was a chemistry major, a department in which the professors literally did not care if you slept or not. Suffering (yes, Suffering!) was widespread in his major. And Minhyuk? Well, he was basically an academic masochist. Just ask the nuclear magnetic resonance spectrographs scattered all over his desk.

Second, he worked. It wasn’t a good job. It wasn’t even a job he liked. It was a dead-end retail job at a convenience store. But, let’s face it. Who’s going to hire a broke underclassmen chemistry major with literally no work experience? A convenience store, that’s who. Unfortunately, that wiped out most of Minhyuk’s free time.

Third, Minhyuk was the type of person to sleep whenever he could. His sleep schedule oscillated wildly between consecutive all-nighters to, like, 36 hours of sleep straight. Okay, not quite straight, but laying in bed and hiding under your covers while technically awake is not really awake, right? Minhyuk took naps everywhere and anywhere. Altogether, he was pretty sure his sleep schedule was screwed up beyond saving.

Fortunately for sleepy Minhyuk, his kitchen was really close to his bed. The upside to a closet-sized apartment? Is his studio even a real apartment? Still half-awake, Minhyuk opened one of the cupboards and sighed at how hopelessly empty it was. He really needed to get more stuff from the convenience store... Or steal more free food from campus. Grocery stores were too expensive. Who has money for fruit in this economy? Minhyuk reached for his last can of chicken noodle soup and fished out his hand-me-down can opener from one of the drawers. He latched the can opener’s teeth on the can of soup and clenched down hard on the handles, perforating the can on one edge.

Without any further warning, the top of the can practically exploded off, and a plume of lavender-white smoke swirled up from the can. The smoke enveloped his small kitchen, but it left as soon as it had appeared. In its place was an empty can of ‘soup,’ and a boy who looked like he couldn’t be much older than him.

Oh, and the boy was floating.

“I must be hallucinating,” Minhyuk murmured, rubbing his eyes. That was the only reasonable explanation; he was so tired that he was hallucinating. God, he really should’ve just stayed in bed. This is what happens when you shun sleep. Never give up on sleep, kids.

The floating boy rolled his eyes. “No, you’re not,” he emphatically replied. “Name’s Kihyun, I’m a genie, and you get five wishes.”

“What?”

Kihyun sighed. “My name is Yoo Kihyun. I’m a genie, and I grant wishes... Anything you want, really. You get five wishes.”

The hallucination -- Kihyun, his tripped-out brain corrected -- seemed pretty serious for being, you know, completely fake.

“I wish I had another can of soup,” Minhyuk deadpanned, rubbing his eyes again. What a weird dream.

Kihyun rolled his eyes again. Minhyuk swore he heard the boy mutter something under his breath, but, without missing a beat, Kihyun snapped his fingers. Another puff of lavender smoke appeared on his kitchen counter, quickly dissipating to reveal an exact replica of the empty can of chicken noodle soup that Kihyun came from. This new one was sealed, unlike the empty one next to it. Minhyuk looked back over at Kihyun, who acted like this was totally and completely normal.

“Four wishes,” Kihyun dryly said.

Okay, this was a little much for a hallucination… maybe he was dreaming? Minhyuk tried to wake himself up a little, studying all of Kihyun’s features. Even though he was hovering a few inches off the ground, Minhyuk could tell that Kihyun was a few inches shorter than him. He had light brown hair that was boyishly combed down over his forehead. His features were remarkably sharp with strong cheekbones and a strong jawline. His eyes were small and narrow, but his lips and nose were larger. He had small unremarkable earrings in each ear and a blinged-out ring on his right hand, but otherwise he was dressed in plain business casual: a white collared shirt and black pants.

This was oddly specific for a dream. Minhyuk was really tired, though -- maybe he had actually passed out? Kihyun was starting to look impatient. Would he really have dreamed this up? He remembered reading somewhere that your most vivid dreams occurred when you were the most tired. And, well, he was really tired when he got home.

“So…” Minhyuk slowly started. “You’re a genie?”

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Kihyun retorted. He seemed disinterested, like Minhyuk was probably the most boring thing in his genie-life right now.

“And you grant wishes?”

“Yup,” Kihyun dismissively answered. “If you wish for anything, I’ll make it come true.”

“And you just wasted your first wish on a can of soup,” he added, disdain evident in his voice. Compared to Minhyuk’s low, nasally voice, Kihyun had a high-pitched tone that sounded like a cross between a sassy gay boy and an annoyed younger sibling. It was almost endearing?

“Well, can I get a do-over on that wish?”

“There aren’t any do-overs for wishes,” Kihyun harshly replied.

“Can I wish for more wishes then?”

“No!”

“Oh.”

So, turns out that you can’t wish for more wishes. What a joke. Kihyun said he could wish for anything, doesn’t that mean he can wish for more wishes?

Minhyuk looked back over at the can of soup on his counter. “Why… why were you in a can of soup? I thought genies came in lamps?”

Kihyun sighed. “Look, how many magic lamps have you seen, like, ever?”

“Mmm,” Minhyuk paused, thinking out loud. “None?”

“Exactly. So we have to get creative.”

“But… a can of soup?”

“Okay, first off, it’s a lot bigger than it looks. Quite roomy, actually. But you wouldn’t know since you’re just a boring old human.”

“And… you’re a genie.”

“Ohmygod, yes! Yes, I’m a genie! How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Okay, okay, you’re a genie,” Minhyuk tacitly agreed. “And you do genie things like grant wishes.”

“Yes.”

“And live in soup cans.”

“Listen here, you little shit,” Kihyun threatened, his eyes fierce and staring directly at Minhyuk’s eyes now; Kihyun definitely had a temper. “With a snap of my fingers I can banish you to another dimension. Or I can shrink you down to the size of an ant. Or I can turn you into an actual ant. Point is, I have more magic in one finger than you can even dream up in your wildest nightmares.”

Kihyun sure was awfully angry. Or annoyed. He couldn’t tell for sure, but Kihyun seemed upset for someone who had just been released from, well, a can of soup.

“Isn’t it, like, against the genie rules to hurt the person who summoned you?”

Kihyun sighed again. He seemed to do that a lot? He was clearly still annoyed.

“Yes,” he belatedly admitted. “But that doesn’t mean that the second you finish your fifth wish--”

“--Don’t you just go back into the soup can?”

“Why are you so annoying!”

“Because this is definitely a dream,” Minhyuk argued. “Or a nightmare, I guess.”

“No, I can assure you that this is very much real, that you’re awake. If anyone’s having a nightmare, it’s me.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad,” Minhyuk protested. Just then, his stomach growled in hunger. He blushed a little -- he still hadn’t eaten.

“Anyways, you don’t get hungry in dreams.”

“Uh huh,” Minhyuk dismissed. Kihyun did have a point: you don’t usually get hungry in dreams. And they usually aren’t this… realistic. He was really hungry. And Kihyun seemed really… real. “You don’t mind if I, uh…” he added, motioning toward the can of soup that Kihyun had conjured up for him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Kihyun replied, rolling his eyes again. Minhyuk just smiled in response as he cracked open the new can and poured it into a bowl. He threw it in the microwave and let it cook.

“I hope you, like, made this correctly.”

“I can assure you that it’s just as salty, preservative-filled, and unhealthy as every other can of chicken noodle soup.”

“Great,” Minhyuk feigned. “Just the way I like it.”

“You still haven’t told me your name.”

“Oh.” Minhyuk was too sleepy to be embarrassed. “That’s because I thought you weren’t real.”

“GENIES ARE REAL!”

Minhyuk just laughed in response. “My name’s Lee Minhyuk.”

“Well, okay, Minhyuk,” Kihyun started, “You live in a dump. These kitchen appliances look like they’re from 1962. Your cupboards? 1942. There’s no furniture in this place except for your desk, which, by the way, is covered in crap so you can’t even see the desk. Your walls and ceiling are peeling in at least five places, and I can only imagine what your bedroom looks like. Not to mention that you have no food, no tableware, and no proper cutlery.”

“Um,” Minhyuk demurred, sheepishly scratching his neck while looking around his place. “First, I don’t have a bedroom. Studio and all. Second, I wasn’t exactly planning on having visitors tonight, you know?”

Kihyun didn’t really seem satisfied with that answer, but at this hour? That was the best he was going to get.

“You can, uh, make yourself at home, I guess?” he added.

“Trust me, there’s nothing that you can do to this apartment to make it more homey.”

“You’re right, I can’t make it look like the inside of a soup can,” Minhyuk replied, giggling as he watched Kihyun’s expression sour.

“Why you little--”

The microwave beeped, signaling that his soup was done. Minhyuk stopped giggling and grabbed his tupperware bowl from the microwave with a hand-towel. He cradled the soup in one hand with the towel whilst using his free hand to find a plastic spork for slurping the noodles.

“You were saying?”

Kihyun sighed and rolled his eyes at the same time. Minhyuk wondered if that was an improvement?

“Aren’t you going to make another wish?”

Oh, yeah, the whole genie bit.

“Hmm, well I think I need some time to think about it,” Minhyuk countered before blowing on a sporkful of noodles and stuffing it in his mouth.

“Did me listing all the things that were wrong about your apartment not help?”

“Nope~” Minhyuk replied with a smile.

☆ The Second Wish ☆

Minhyuk’s eyes fluttered open when the sunlight just started to assault his eyes through his apartment’s lone window. Everything was really freaking bright, so he barely cracked his eyes open; he shuffled in his bed, rolling around to face the rest of the room. Everything looked normal? Normal-ish, at least. He lifted his upper body up and sitting -- well, float-sitting (is that the right word for that?) -- near the foot of his bed and looking totally unamused was none other than Yoo Kihyun. He was unchanged from last night, except he had an unimpressed look and a hand on his chin like he had been watching Minhyuk sleeping for… hours? Hours. Minhyuk’s eyes got real wide and he pulled his covers up over his bare chest.

“What are you doing in here?” he groggily stammered out, still in shock that Kihyun would desecrate the sanctimony of his bedroom-slash-living room. And surely he knew that Kihyun was going to say something about the state of his room soon enough.

“The genie equivalent of watching grass grow,” Kihyun deadpanned, still not moving his hand from his face. “Except for us it’s watching humans sleep.”

“Wait, what?” Minhyuk complained. “Don’t you have, like, genie things to go do?”

“Oh, I would love to be doing literally anything else right now, Minhyuk. But, unfortunately for me, I’m stuck with you until you use all of your wishes. And, even more unfortunately for me, you are a very boring person who doesn’t wish for things quickly. So here I am, watching grass grow.”

Minhyuk let his covers fall back down after realizing that, no, Kihyun was not going to kill him. Though, he still had at least one question nagging at him.

“Couldn’t you, like, do something? Anything? Other than watch me.”

Kihyun sighed. “I would do literally anything else, but, again, you’re a boring person who has literally nothing of interest in this shoebox of an apartment.”

“Right.” Minhyuk feigned agreement, still trying to wake up. “Sorry, I’m still really tired.”

“Well, it’s not like you’ve got a genie who could instantly solve that problem for you,” Kihyun wryly commented, perking up a little. “You could wish for a comfier bed? Fluffier pillows? Warmer covers? Or how about a fully-furnished apartment? Or a larger apartment? Or you could skip the whole apartment and wish to be fully-rested every day?”

Kihyun seemed really excited about the prospect of Minhyuk using up another wish. But why would he want to? He just got up; shouldn’t he, like, fully think this through? Kihyun probably just wanted him to wish for stuff so that he could go back in his soup can and do whatever genies do. Yeah, Minhyuk was pretty sure that whatever Kihyun wanted to do was probably more important than granting his wishes, but honestly? Kihyun was pretty cute and he wasn’t gonna pass up the opportunity to have a cute magical boy follow him around for a few days, even if it came at Kihyun’s expense.

“I want -- not wish for -- some privacy while I shower and get ready,” Minhyuk calmly said, walking to his micro-sized bathroom wearing nothing but sweats. Kihyun’s expression darkened when he realized that, no, Minhyuk was not going to get this over with quickly.

“Trust me, I do not want to see you naked.”

“Nope, you just want to watch me sleep,” Minhyuk joked with a smile before shutting the door to the bathroom. He wanted nothing more than to see Kihyun’s facial expression change in response to that comment, but he needed to get ready; his first class started in an hour, and it took him twenty minutes to get to campus. He started the shower and looked at himself in the mirror. His black hair was messy and all over the place, but he didn’t really care. Bedhead was pretty normal for him. You know, a common side effect of excessive sleeping. While the shower was warming up, he brushed his teeth and picked out a towel to sling over the shower rod. Minhyuk undressed and stepped into the nearly-scalding water.

What did he want to wish for? Every time his mind turned to his remaining four wishes, everything just went… blank? Like, sure his life wasn’t perfect. Kihyun was right, his apartment was kind of a dump, and he didn’t have much food in his kitchen, and he was always tired. But he couldn’t imagine his life any other way. If he just wished away one of his problems -- or even most of them -- new problems would just take their place. Minhyuk wanted things, sure, but he wanted things that you couldn’t just put into words, that you couldn’t just conjure up, that you couldn’t just wish for. It wasn’t that simple.

He just had to figure those things out.

After lathering himself and throwing some shampoo in his unwieldy hair, Minhyuk rinsed himself off, stopped the water, and dried himself with his towel. He tied his towel around his waist and stepped back into the bedroom to put together an outfit and to find out what sassmaster-genie Kihyun had prepared in past five minutes.

“You know, you really should be nice to your genie. I can pervert all of your wishes to their worst possible meaning.”

“Uh huh,” Minhyuk dismissed, searching his closet for something to wear.

“Aren’t you going to wish for something? I’m sure you thought of something in the shower. Lots of shower thoughts, right?”

“Were you imagining me in the shower?” Minhyuk asked.

“No,” Kihyun flatly replied.

“Do you want me to wish that you were thinking about that?”

“Look--”

“--Besides, how would genies even, like, know what goes on in the shower? Do genies even shower?”

Kihyun didn’t have an answer for that one. He licked his lips while his eyes darted around shiftily; Minhyuk was satisfied.

“I didn’t sign up for this,” he finally complained.

“I didn’t either,” Minhyuk added before disappearing back in the bathroom to change.

“So are you going to come with me to class today?” he shouted through the door.

“Unfortunately,” Kihyun replied, also shouting.

“Okay, well I have--”

“--Organic chemistry lab, I know.”

What? How did Kihyun--

“You had your class schedule on your desk,” Kihyun mentioned. “And your lab. You screwed up #4, by the way. You’re welcome.”

“You fixed it!?”

“I wasn’t gonna leave it wrong, Minhyuk.”

“H-how do you even know organic chemistry?”

“Minhyuk, I’ve been doing this genie thing since before organic chemistry was even a thing.”

He threw on his hoodie and exited the bathroom.

“Why would anyone even willingly learn organic chemistry,” he mused in full earshot of Kihyun. He went straight to kitchen, and he could feel Kihyun’s floaty presence follow him.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kihyun replied. “Don’t you wanna wish for, like, a nice breakfast? A stack full of pancakes perhaps?”

“Mmm, pancakes sound, like, really good right now. But maybe I should wish for you to stop asking me about my wishes?” Minhyuk deadpanned before pulling out an Eggo waffle from his freezer. He threw it in the microwave and turned to face Kihyun. “Are you really going out like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that!” Minhyuk repeated, gesturing at Kihyun’s whole body.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve kept up with current fashion trends,” Kihyun started, “Besides, a collared shirt and pants will never go out of style.”

“Not that... That,”he corrected, motioning more toward Kihyun’s feet, where he was most definitely still floating. Kihyun seemed to take even more offense to Minhyuk’s insinuation, his eyes widening and then narrowing before the microwave decided to interrupt his reaction. Minhyuk tossed the waffle in his mouth, holding it with his teeth, and moved over to his desk, grabbing all the stuff he needed for lab.

“Uh, no, I am not going to walk,” Kihyun protested. “I haven’t walked in over fifty years, and I’m not going to start today. It’s disgraceful for a genie to walk. We can float for a reason -- so we don’t have to walk. Walking is for humans.”

“Well, I would really prefer it if you walked if you’re going to follow me around. Besides, like, aren’t people gonna ask?”

“No, they’re not. You’re the only one who can see me.”

Minhyuk frowned. “Maybe I’ll wish for things faster if I’m not distracted by a floating genie.”

He finished shoving notebooks into his backpack, zipping up the pockets one-by-one until his homework and labs and class notes were all stuffed in his completely-disorganized bag. He finished off his waffle and turned to face Kihyun, who, to his disbelief, looked even more ticked off than before. But! He wasn’t floating. Small victories.

“Do you remember how to walk after fifty years?”

“I wish I didn’t,” Kihyun sassed back.

Minhyuk laughed. “For being hundreds of years old, you don’t look a day over twenty-five.”

“I’m actually twenty-two in genie years, you asshole.”

He laughed again, motioning Kihyun toward the door. “Let’s go,” he announced. Kihyun sighed, marching out of his apartment with a gait and facial expression that told Minhyuk he’d rather be doing basically anything other than this.

“You know, I bet you look older because of the soup can thing.”

“I’m going to kill you, Minhyuk.”

“Are you sure you’re supposed to add that chemical next?”

“For the love of God,” Minhyuk whispered under his breath. He had quickly learned that perhaps having his cute genie follow him around all day was not the best thing to happen to him. For instance, the cons of no one else noticing Kihyun became readily apparent:

First, if Minhyuk tried to talk to him in public, everybody looked at him weird, like Minhyuk was talking to himself. To be fair, that’s exactly what it looked like to everyone else. And there was no feasible way for Minhyuk to explain that, no, I’m not crazy, I’m just talking to my personal genie whom you can’t see. This relegated Minhyuk to whispering, subtly gesturing, and, to steal a page from Kihyun’s book, rolling his eyes.

Second, because Minhyuk couldn’t really respond to Kihyun, this gave Kihyun ample time to be even sassier than he was before. Minhyuk couldn’t shut him down like he usually did, which made Kihyun extra smug. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded -- even if Kihyun liked to slip little comments about wishing for this and wishing for that, he usually chimed in when Minhyuk was about to do something stupid. Like add the wrong solid to his chemical reaction.

Third -- and Minhyuk hated to admit this -- Kihyun was starting to look really cute.

He didn’t dare tell his genie that, though.

“Look, I really think you should double-check the protocol, Minhyuk,” his genie insisted, his butt plopped on the empty bench space next to him. He wasn’t floating per se, but his feet didn’t reach the ground and if that wasn’t the most adorable thing ever --

“No, not that one,” Kihyun interjected as Minhyuk went to grab a different solid.

“Which one,” Minhyuk whispered, slightly exhausted by the constant badgering. Honestly, Kihyun was the only reason he was still working on the lab. Usually he had screwed up so badly that there was no way for him to recover, forcing him to leave early.

Kihyun pointed at a yellow solid, rolling his eyes in the process. “Did you even read the protocol?”

“I was going to, but then my plans got kinda screwed up by an unexpected visitor.”

“Sure, blame it on the genie who you could easily get rid of in four wishes.”

“Shut up,” Minhyuk toothlessly warned. It was an empty threat -- like there was anything Minhyuk could do to actually get Kihyun to stop talking. Meanwhile, Kihyun played with the ring on his right hand’s ring finger, spinning it around aimlessly. Minhyuk really was boring to him.

“Um, what?”

Minhyuk looked to his right.

Crap.

“Hyungwon, I’m sorry, I was talking to myself.”

His hood buddy -- the other student who he shared the fume hood with -- made a face, like Minhyuk had three heads. Hyungwon made that face at him a lot. Kihyun snickered in amusement.

Hyungwon, unlike Minhyuk, usually knew what he was doing. He was a straight-A student who knew chemistry inside and out. Quiet, bookish, and the type to actually study regularly instead of cramming like literally everybody else, Hyungwon was the star of the program. Hyungwon usually didn’t bother to grace Minhyuk with any words throughout their three-hour lab; he was methodical, laser-focused, and, honestly? Too good for the frenetic and unorganized Minhyuk. Hyungwon actually knew what he was doing while Minhyuk was usually just guessing.

“Yo! Minhyuk, pay attention!” Kihyun hollered, leaning forward a bit.

Minhyuk looked over at the reaction he had been carefully stirring.

“Dude!” Kihyun started, peering into the fume hood from his position perched on the lab bench. “You were supposed to stop stirring when it turned white again!”

Minhyuk looked down at his definitely not-white liquid. It was more like a salmon pink color, the reaction having gone past completion. It was also sticky, like silly putty. Minhyuk sighed. This always happened. He wasn’t good at organic chemistry.

Without missing a beat, Minhyuk started cleaning up after himself. He was used to it by now -- the shameful dance of cleaning up your station far before you were supposed to be done. Everybody knew what happened: Minhyuk screwed up. Again. Minhyuk glanced over at the TA, who just shook his head. His TA did that last week too.

He tossed his toxic reagents in the waste container, washed his glassware with distilled water, packed up his belongings, and started taking off his lab coat.

His grade was still salvageable. Yeah, it wasn’t going to be perfect, but Minhyuk just needed to pass the class. You could still get a C on the lab report even if the reaction didn’t work.

Surprisingly, Kihyun was silent throughout the whole ordeal, like he could tell Minhyuk was genuinely upset about the whole thing. He tried his best -- he really did! He just wasn’t the best at labwork. He wasn’t Hyungwon.

“Oh no.”

Just as Minhyuk was about to leave, he heard Hyungwon start to panic. He glanced over at his hood buddy’s reaction, which had started to turn pink, too.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Hyungwon repeated, trying to load the paste-like mixture into his funnel. It seemed like it was too late, though; the mixture wasn’t falling out of his beaker into the funnel at all. Instead, it was like glue, sticking to the bottom of his glassware.

Minhyuk had never, ever seen Hyungwon screw up before. And watching the scene unfold before him -- it was heartbreaking. It sucked when things didn’t work, but Hyungwon was beyond that. His perpetually-pouty face was upset, his eyes starting to gloss up. He was completely distraught, desperately trying to save his reaction, trying to help the rapidly-solidifying mixture into his funnel with his mixing spatula. Nothing was working, and Hyungwon could see his A in the class slipping away as the reaction refused to leave his beaker.

Minhyuk could too.

He immediately turned to Kihyun, who looked surprised by Minhyuk’s reaction to Hyungwon.

“Kihyun, I wish that Hyungwon’s reaction worked.”

Kihyun seemed genuinely shocked. Minhyuk hadn’t wished for anything in over a day, and now he was wishing for someone else’s reaction to work? Even after his own reaction had already failed? Kihyun had no choice though, so he reluctantly snapped his fingers.

Minhyuk ignored Kihyun’s reluctance and threw his backpack’s strap over his shoulder, slowly walking away with Kihyun in tow. They could both hear as Hyungwon’s started whispering incredulously as his reaction liquefied, falling out of his beaker and into the filter-funnel that he had been trying to scrape it into for the past few minutes. Hyungwon was beyond happy, moving wildly to keep his reaction going and his A alive.

Once they were out of earshot of the rest of the lab, Kihyun piped up:

“You don’t wish for anything all day, and then you wish for someone else’s lab to work?” the genie questioned. “Why?”

“I had to,” Minhyuk bluntly replied. “I had to.”

☆ The Third Wish ☆

Saturday.

Finally, it was Saturday.

And if you -- yes, you, random person following Minhyuk’s so-called boring life -- thought Saturday was gonna be any easier than Friday… ha. What a terrible joke. No, Saturday was the day Minhyuk had to go work his meaningless convenience store job. At 7. Yes, as in, 7 in the morning. Not that 7 pm would be any better.

Minhyuk expected that he would tired. He was always tired during this shift. He could sleep all day Friday (yes, he had slept all day Friday before) and still be tired during this shift. It just was a fact of life. Like how Kihyun following him around was also a fact of life.

What he did not expect was that Kihyun would also be tired.

Which led to them walking to the convenience store together in silence.

Maybe Kihyun wasn’t like the physical version of tired, but Kihyun was surely tired of him. Of course, Minhyuk couldn’t read Kihyun’s mind, but if he had to guess? Well…

Kihyun was probably tired of how bubbly Minhyuk was all the time, how he never knew what was going on, how little Minhyuk prepared for his classes, how he slept forever when he didn’t have classes, and, most of all,

How many wishes Minhyuk still had left.

It had now been several days since Minhyuk tried to have soup that one fateful night, and he still had three wishes left. Three whole wishes! Some people would have wished for five things in five minutes. But Minhyuk? Well, he could hardly think of one good thing to wish for. Every idea that popped into his head was something that he didn’t actually want. No, he didn’t want to just graduate. No, he didn’t want a nicer apartment. No, he didn’t want a better job. Minhyuk wanted to earn those things through his own hard work, even if required him to grind through college to get his degree. Kihyun kept suggesting all these material things for Minhyuk to wish for, but he didn’t want any of it.

So that left him with abstract things. You know, love, happiness, et cetera. Things that money couldn’t buy, but Minhyuk could surely wish for… the problem was Minhyuk didn’t want to wish for any of those things either! He could wish for happiness, but, like, what’s happiness without sadness or love without heartbreak? Yeah yeah yeah, you can fault Minhyuk for being a sappy romantic, but those things had to be earned as well. Wishing to find the boyfriend of his dreams would just cheapen the whole thing, right? And, yeah, there were other un-wishable things -- who doesn’t want to be a few inches taller, right? -- but Minhyuk was happy with himself as a person. Maybe it’d be nice to have abs again, but, hey, some boys didn’t like abs.

Did Kihyun like abs?

Did Kihyun have abs?

Did genies work out? Could genies work out?

It was, what, like four days into this… this arrangement and Minhyuk hardly knew anything about Kihyun.

Where he was from, how old he actually was, why he dyed his hair brown, what his favorite color was…

Kihyun was surely fed up with him now… but…

“Kihyunnie!”

When Minhyuk didn’t hear an immediate response, he stopped and looked back at his genie, who had already stopped in the middle of the empty sidewalk. They were the only losers out and about on a Saturday morning, so Minhyuk could speak to Kihyun with a normal-ish voice instead of a whisper. If Kihyun wanted to talk, that is.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“What… what did you call me?”

“Um,” Minhyuk demurred, “I called you ‘Kihyunnie.’ Is--Is that not okay?”

Kihyun shook his head and looked down at the ground, a small smile breaking across his face. “No, it’s fine,” he replied. “It’s just… no one’s called me that in hundreds of years. Not since I was a kid.”

Oh.

“I… I, uh, missed it,” the brown-haired genie added, looking up at him. There was something childish about his expression -- he didn’t look so sullen and annoyed anymore, the contours of his sharp jawline and cheekbones softening ever-so-slightly. It was cute, and Minhyuk couldn’t help but smiling back.

“I was actually wondering about that… what’s it like being a kid-genie? How… how do genies even have kids?”

“Heh, well it’s a little different from being a human, right? Like, um, there’s no intimacy involved. There’s actually a set number of genies in the universe at any one point in time, and whenever a genie is needed, a new one is ‘born’ from the aether. It’s actually a rare event? There weren’t any other genies ‘born’ within one hundred human years of me.”

“Really?” Minhyuk incredulously replied. “That sounds so… lonely?”

“It wasn’t that bad. My moms were wonderful to me.”

“Moms?”

“Yeah, moms. New genies are raised by a genie pair. There’s a list? It’s weird.”

“That’s not too weird. Where do genies even, like, live?”

“Um, shouldn’t we keep walking, Minhyuk? You’ll be late.”

“Oh, right,” he answered, pivoting on his feet. He started walking toward the store again, but Kihyun jogged up next to him. Apparently he was okay with walking now.

“So, how can I describe this in human terms? Genies live in a dimension parallel to this one. We’re connected to this world by mundane objects.”

“Like cans of soup?”

Kihyun sighed. “Yes, like cans of soup.”

“Did you even pick the can of soup?”

“I mean, in the same way that you ‘picked’ your apartment?”

Minhyuk cocked his head at Kihyun. What?

“It wasn’t really a choice. It was the only place that I could ‘afford’ based on my seniority if that makes sense? Don’t get me wrong, it’s still infinitely better than your apartment--”

“--Hey!”

Kihyun chuckled. Minhyuk liked how Kihyun’s nose scrunched up when he laughed -- it was cute. He had one thought nagging his brain, though.

“Wait, so if you were ‘born’ or whatever, does that mean another genie died?”

“Not necessarily,” Kihyun absentmindedly replied. Minhyuk noticed that Kihyun was playing with the ring on his finger again. “There are a few ways for us to lose a genie.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you. Genie secrets,” Kihyun explained, his smile turning into a bit of a smirk. “Besides, I think we’re here?”

Minhyuk broke his pouting face and looked up at the storefront. They were here! How did Kihyun know…?

“Right on time, too.”

He was a little shocked, to be honest. Minhyuk was never on-time for this shift -- he was always late. He fumbled through his pocket, finding his key for the sliding front door. Kihyun waited patiently while Minhyuk pried the door open, sliding inside. Before he could even make it past the front, his manager called out from behind the register.

“You’re late.”

“Um, actually--”

“--It doesn’t matter,” his manager nonchalantly interrupted. “You’re in charge of re-stocking.”

Minhyuk just sighed and nodded in response. Making his way to the storeroom in the back, he knew Kihyun was following him. They were going to be out of earshot of his manager, and he knew Kihyun was going to say something.

“You’re just going to let her treat you like that?” Kihyun asked. “You’re gonna let her walk all over you?”

“It’s okay, really,” he explained. “This, um, happens every week.”

“And you don’t do anything about it!” Kihyun answered, his voice getting louder. “You don’t tell her to help you?”

“Kihyun, I--”

“You need to stand up for yourself!”

“It’s not that simple, I--”

“Why don’t you just wish you had a better job? Or a better manager?”

Minhyuk looked down and away this time. Kihyun was basically glaring at him -- glaring at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world. But he wasn’t. He just didn’t care what his manager said anymore.

“Because I’m okay with it not being perfect.”

Minhyuk made it through his shift. It was still light outside -- after all, it was only 3pm -- but he wanted nothing more than to get home and collapse on his bed.

The manager, as per usual, did jack-shit. When it was busy, she escaped to the back, hiding from all of the customers. When it wasn’t busy, she manned the register, refusing to lift a finger to help Minhyuk re-stock the store for the rest of the week. It was a lose-lose situation for him; he was always working, and, because of that, he was exhausted after his shift. He was like a ghost, limping along the street, dragging himself to his apartment building.

Kihyun, meanwhile, refused to talk to him for the rest of the shift. Something about “not standing up for yourself” or whatever. Minhyuk was sure that Kihyun thought he was a ditzy wimp, unwilling to fight to be treated better. Even during their walk back, Kihyun kept his distance, a perpetual glare fixed on his face. It made Minhyuk feel all dejected on the inside, like he disappointed Kihyun. He didn’t want to make Kihyun’s life miserable, but he didn’t want to rock the boat at his job. And he wasn’t going to wish for it to get better -- the second his job gets better is the second another part of his life (like Organic Chemistry Lab) becomes the shitty part of his week.

Yet, even with how mad Kihyun seemed to be… something seemed off. There were a few times Minhyuk was ferrying items from the storeroom to the front of the store, and, well, it seemed like he finished way faster than he should have. Like he’d make a few trips and suddenly in between trips there’d be a few more items stocked than he remembered doing.

Kihyun never fessed up to doing anything, though.

Sometimes Minhyuk wished he could float up the stairs like Kihyun -- magically will himself up to his apartment on the third floor. It would make these stairs so much easier, like they didn’t even exist.

By the time he keyed into his apartment and closed the door, he was ready to die on his bed. Apparently someone had other plans.

Before his face could even reach his pillow, he heard three loud knocks at his door. Minhyuk froze where he was standing, listening to the door to see if he could hear anything. He caught Kihyun out of the corner of his eyes; he was shaking his head, instructing Minhyuk not to answer.

“Minhyuk?” he heard from the other side of the door. “It’s Hoseok. Your neighbor.”

Minhyuk just shrugged at Kihyun, turning around to go to the door. He caught Kihyun starting to roll his eyes, but he ignored the genie. Minhyuk unlocked the front door, and he opened it up about 30 degrees. As expected, Hoseok was waiting for him on the other side.

“Hey Minhyuk,” Hoseok murmured.

Minhyuk immediately thought something was off. Hoseok was the type of person to envelope him in a bear hug as soon as he saw him; instead, he was quiet now. Nothing like the normal Hoseok.

“Hey,” Minhyuk replied. “What’s up?”

Hoseok perked up and looked back at his apartment. They stood there for a few moments in silence before Hoseok decided to turn his attention back to Minhyuk.

“I’m, uh, sorry to bother you, I know you just got home. I was just wondering you had seen a cat?”

“A cat?”

“My cat,” Hoseok corrected himself. “Calico. Fluffy. Meows a lot. Have you seen her?”

Minhyuk didn’t even know Hoseok had a cat.

He looked back at Kihyun, who shook his head. Apparently Kihyun hadn’t seen her either. Or he disapproved of this whole thing. Either way, Kihyun wasn’t helpful.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen her.”

“Oh,” Hoseok mumbled, his voice deflated.

“How long have you been looking?”

“S-since I got home an hour ago,” Hoseok replied, his voice trembling. “I, uh, I don’t know where she could have gone.”

“Do you want me to help look?” Minhyuk asked. He could hear Kihyun facepalming behind him, but Minhyuk didn’t pay any attention to him.

“No, uh, it’s okay, I’ve already taken up too much of your time. I’ve gotta keep looking,” Hoseok hurriedly replied, turning around and heading for his apartment. Minhyuk didn’t say anything afterwards, instead shutting his door and turning around to face Kihyun.

“Why did you even offer to help?” Kihyun dryly asked. “You’re so tired that you probably don’t even know what day it is.”

“It’s Saturday,” Minhyuk quietly answered. “And I wanted to help because I’ve never seen Hoseok so upset before…”

Kihyun sighed.

“Kihyun, I wish that Hoseok would find his cat.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Minhyuk asserted.

“I’m just -- why?” Kihyun snapped his fingers, a small plume of purple smoke appearing near his hand. Moments later, Minhyuk faintly heard Hoseok yelling excitedly through the wall they shared. He had been reunited with his calico.

“That’s why.”

☆ The Fourth Wish ☆

Day #8 with Minhyuk.

Eight days of pure, uninterrupted monotony.

Eight days of watching Minhyuk struggle to… well, everything. The kid had an unnerving mixture of unintentional aloofness, perpetual sleepiness, and intentional laziness. He ambled from one disaster to the next, barely skinning by each and every day. It was like watching a slow-motion trainwreck… but a boring one.

Kihyun’s first thought was that Minhyuk was basically one-dimensional. He was motivated by one thing: sleep. How did that jive with the kid picking one of the hardest majors in his college? A good job gets him more time to sleep. Working on the side? He needed to pay for rent so he could sleep somewhere. Eating? Can’t sleep if you’re dead. Honestly, it made Minhyuk a remarkably boring person. Sure, he had a lot going on between class and work and trying (and failing) to be a functional adult. But it was all very routine -- nothing Kihyun hadn’t already seen in his hundreds of years being a genie.

But then…

Some days, Minhyuk surprised him.

Some days, Minhyuk would get up early and make pancakes for himself from two month old box mix that he “only used sparingly,” according the smiley boy. Some days, Minhyuk would go out of his way to help a complete stranger, saying “it’s the right thing to do” when Kihyun interrogated him. Some days, Minhyuk would use the most valuable thing he owned right now -- his five, now two, wishes -- to make someone else’s day better. Some days, Minhyuk would forget about himself and his own needs.

It was infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.

That confused Kihyun. It scared him. A lot. Because, honestly, it meant he cared about Minhyuk. This was the longest amount of time he had spent with any one person in the human world -- besides that one time his human got too careless after his first wish, got hit by a car, and was in a coma for a week. But that doesn’t count. No, he had spent seven waking days with Minhyuk, and he was barely half-done with Minhyuk’s wishes.

“Kihyun?”

“Hmm,” he replied, looking over his shoulder to find Minhyuk cheekily smiling at him. His black hair was shooting out all over the place, still wearing pajamas and sitting up on his bed. It was cute, that little shit. He must have been napping for a while now.

“I invited my friend Jooheon over. He needed to talk about something.”

“You have friends?” he quipped.

Minhyuk’s smile immediately disappeared. “Why are you always so mean to me, Yoo Kihyun?”

Kihyun smirked. “It’s a genie thing.”

The other boy made a face. “I can’t tell if you’re telling the truth or not.”

“I’ve had 500 years to practice my lying -- you can barely read your textbook, what makes you think you can read me?”

“I can read that you don’t totally hate me.”

Kihyun paused. He knew it was a joke, but had he really been that obvious? Had his stupid feelings seeped through to how he acted around Minhyuk? Had he really changed after spending a week with Minhyuk?

No, he answered himself.

“Uh huh,” he finally replied, rolling his eyes. He crossed his arms, impatiently rotating his ring around his ring finger. He had only started doing it in the past few days with Minhyuk, but now it was basically his nervous tick.

“Are you blushing, Kihyun?” Minhyuk teased.

“Keep dreaming,” Kihyun fired back without missing a beat. Minhyuk giggled, letting his head fall back onto his bed. Kihyun knew he wasn’t blushing. He would never blush around Minhyuk -- maybe he’d smack him, but he certainly wouldn’t blush.

He’d make sure not to smack him too hard. Besides, Minhyuk’s pretty face is one of the few assets he’s got going for him... aside from his endearingly boring life and half-witted brain, both of which had their moments.

“When’s Jooheon getting here anyways,” Kihyun absentmindedly asked.

“Oh, in five minutes.”

“And you’re just telling me now!?”

Minhyuk shot him a confused look. “You’re upset?”

“Clearly,” he flatly replied.

“Why? It’s not like Jooheon can see you.”

“I -- I know that!” Kihyun asserted. “I just, uh, need to mentally prepare to deal with more people.”

Minhyuk laughed, his nasally giggles loud and boisterous from his laying-down position. “More like you need more time to come up with ways to torture me when I have to pretend you don’t exist.”

“Er, right.”

“Do you have friends, Kihyunnie?”

“Of course I have friends, you twat.”

“... For some reason, I feel like that’s a lie,” Minhyuk rambled, “... Like, you’re pretty mean to me.”

“Untrue.”

“Um, you definitely just called me a twat,” Minhyuk retorted, sitting up again.

“No, I meant that I’m not mean to most people.”

“Aww, so I’m special?” Minhyuk put on his best puppy-dog eyes, clasped his hands together, and looked at Kihyun expectantly. It was too cute, even for Minhyuk.

“Sure, Minhyuk.”

“Ouch,” Minhyuk replied, feigning the gayest hurt face Kihyun had ever seen.

That was “gay” as in gay, not stupid, by the way.

Just how did Kihyun know Minhyuk was gay?

You mean other than the endless flirting and Minhyuk’s sassy-gay tendencies?

Well, there was that one time when he was mind-numbingly bored when Minhyuk was asleep, so he pulled out Minhyuk’s laptop and decided to get on the Internet. One thing led to another, and, well…

Let’s just say Minhyuk has an interesting browsing history.

“Tell me about your friends, Kihyunnie,” Minhyuk piped up.

“Oh, um, well,” he mumbled.

“-- So your friends aren’t real!” Minhyuk interjected.

“Shut up,” Kihyun harmlessly threatened. “I’m just not used to humans asking about my life, okay? Anyways, so my best friend is named Hyunwoo. He’s only 75 human years older than me, but he acts like he’s 400 years older than me. Wise and worldly and cares about all that genie crap that I, uh, ignore.”

Kihyun paused, but Minhyuk didn’t say anything immediately.

“And your other friends?”

“Uh, well, actually…” he started, nervously running a hand through his hair. “So I don’t really have any friends besides Hyunwoo.”

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk immediately replied. “I kinda know what that’s like. Jooheon’s basically my only friend.”

“Really?” Kihyun was sure Minhyuk was the type of human to have 100 friends. Outgoing, sociable, loud -- he had all the makings of an extrovert who just clicked with everyone.

“Yeah, most people think I’m annoying? At least that’s what I think.”

Oh.

“Well, um, if it’s any consolation, Minhyuk…” Kihyun began before a knock at Minhyuk’s door cut him off. Minhyuk was still looking at him, though; he was waiting for him to finish.

“I don’t think you’re that annoying.”

Minhyuk smiled. “Thanks.”

The other boy made his way for the door to let his best friend into his apartment.

“It’ll all work out, Jooheon. I promise.”

Minhyuk closed the door to the front of his apartment and looked over at Kihyun. They were finally alone again; Jooheon left to catch the last bus to his own apartment complex. Kihyun, meanwhile, was putting on his best unimpressed face for Minhyuk, but it was mostly a front to hide total and utter disdain Kihyun had been harboring for the past four hours.

“So, what did you think of Jooheon?”

“Charming,” Kihyun dismissively replied, leaning over Minhyuk’s kitchen counter and planting his chin in his left palm. “Absolutely charming.”

“What? So you didn’t like Jooheon?”

“Honestly, I didn’t get to know him too well,” Kihyun replied, keeping his voice monotone and disinterested.

“He was here for four hours!”

“Yeah, two of which were spent watching a movie while basically sitting on your lap. The other two hours were him crying about his crush, Changbin.”

“Changkyun.”

“Whatever.”

“Look,” Minhyuk answered. “Jooheonie’s going through a really tough time. And him and Changkyun would make a great couple. But Jooheon’s too shy to say anything, and Changkyun’s definitely too shy to say anything either, so we’re stuck in this predicament. Which reminds me…”

“What?”

“I wish Jooheon would finally have the courage to ask Changkyun out. Let’s say, tomorrow.”

“You’re serious?” Kihyun couldn’t believe that Minhyuk would wish for something so--

“Yes.”

--asinine. Again.

He was compelled to snap his fingers once more, zapping some confidence into Minhyuk’s best friend. At the very least, he gave the boy enough confidence to ask his crush out without stammering for fifteen minutes like he ordinarily would. Kihyun then quickly turned his attention back to Minhyuk, who was smiling triumphantly, like he had solved world peace. Kihyun finally snapped, this time in a different way.

“Why,” he bitingly demanded.

“Why what?” Minhyuk was so oblivious that it just made Kihyun angrier. He could feel his blood pressure rising, after it had already been building over the past few hours of Jooheon and Minhyuk bro-time.

“Why do you keep on wishing for stupid things?” he spat out.

“Stupid?”

“Yes, stupid! Why do you wish for such stupid things!”

Minhyuk looked even more confused, which fueled Kihyun to continue berating him.

“I’m a genie, Minhyuk. I’m not here for your entertainment. I’m not here to grant stupid wishes. I’m not here to do something that a stupid fairy could do. I grant important wishes, wishes that no human could fathom achieving. But you! You little… You waste my powers on wishing for things that don’t matter. Things that don’t matter, Minhyuk!”

Minhyuk now looked more hurt than confused. But Kihyun didn’t care. He wanted Minhyuk to realize that his wishes were the stupidest wishes Kihyun had granted in hundreds of years.

“Why, Minhyuk? Why do you waste your wishes?”

Minhyuk shook his head. “Do -- do you really think that my wishes are stupid?”

“Yes!”

“T-that Hyungwon’s grades don’t matter to him?”

Kihyun didn’t answer that one.

“That Hoseok’s cat doesn’t matter to him?”

No -- that’s not what he meant.

“That Jooheon’s happiness doesn’t matter to him? Or matter to me?”

“No, I --”

“You what? Think you’re better than that?”

“No!”

Minhyuk looked directly at him now. His facial features were strained, like he was in pain having to say these things. Having to confront Kihyun like this.

“No?”

“No, I -- I, uh…”

“You what?”

Kihyun was mute. He couldn’t say anything. For once, he didn’t know what to say. He was usually four steps ahead of Minhyuk.

Minhyuk shook his head again.

“Could you please leave me alone tonight? I’m going to bed.”

With that, Minhyuk disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Kihyun alone in Minhyuk’s tiny kitchen. He wasn’t supposed to leave, but he did. Everything in the genie rule book told him he had to stay, to be around in case his human wanted to wish anything. But something told him that Minhyuk didn’t want to use his fifth wish. At least, not now.

Kihyun walked out, his brain still numb.

He walked. He hated to admit it, but it felt nice to walk. It forced him to focus on something, to help the numbness go away.

Eventually, one thought percolated to the front of Kihyun’s mind: that he cared too much. He wanted nothing more than for Minhyuk to wish for something for himself. He wanted Minhyuk to care about himself. To think about himself. To live in a better apartment, to have a better job, to be able to afford some actual groceries. Minhyuk deserved better.

Just then, he had a thought that scared him even more. That made him even more upset.

If Minhyuk deserved better, then why did he just scream at him for being stupid?

☆ The Fifth Wish ☆

A big part of Minhyuk wanted nothing more than to make his final wish right then and there. To get this all over with, to make Kihyun disappear from his life forever. But as soon as Kihyun left, a wave of relief swept over him: he didn’t do something stupid. Again, Kihyun would have added, that bitingly cynical thought creeping into his mind. He was becoming as cynical as Kihyun now.

But an even bigger part of Minhyuk won out. The part of him that loved Kihyun’s dimples, his sassiness, his hair, their banter -- it won out. The part of him that only became obvious over the past few days.

When Kihyun first popped into Minhyuk’s life in a plume of lavender smoke (a shade of lavender that Minhyuk now found more endearing than ever before), he didn’t think much of him. Minhyuk flirted, sure, but that’s just who he was. Naturally flirty, making quips about seeing each other naked, and so on. He didn’t expect Kihyun to play along, to take his flirting in stride and throw it right back at him with sassiness. It piqued his interest.

But what sealed the deal, what made Minhyuk really fall for Kihyun, was something else. No, it wasn’t Kihyun’s angelic giggling (but that did help). Minhyuk loved that Kihyun seemed to care. Kihyun did little things that made his life easier, like fixing his homework, coaching him through a difficult lab, helping restock the convenience store -- mini “wishes” that he wouldn’t, that he couldn’t make for himself. Underneath all his biting sardonicism and cynicism was a Kihyun who genuinely cared. Minhyuk didn’t know a whole lot about genies, but he sure didn’t think it was normal for a genie to go out of their way to make their human’s life easier unless they wished for it. That definitely sounded like something that would be against the rules if Kihyun’s friend Hyunwoo ever found out. And yet, Kihyun risked it.

For Minhyuk.

So why did Kihyun snap at him like that? What would compel Kihyun to be so hurtful? What would make Kihyun, who went out of his way to make Minhyuk’s life easier even while pretending like he wouldn’t, try to break Minhyuk down? Where did this Kihyun come from? Who replaced the Kihyun that Minhyuk had been secretly falling for?

Part of him needed to know.

Minhyuk didn’t sleep much that night.

The next day was a big studying day for Minhyuk. He had a P-Chem exam this week, and, God, he sucked at P-Chem. It was his weakest subject, and the perfect mix of chemistry and physics to make him wonder if he hated himself. Y’know, choosing this major and all.

No sign of Kihyun, though. Minhyuk was starting to worry. He had already gotten up, showered, thrown on some clothes -- all before 9am on a day when he didn’t have work or class. So, basically a miracle. Aka Thursday. He was currently in the process of shoving his heavy P-Chem textbook into his poor backpack, which seemed to resist his ‘desire’ to study even more than internal Minhyuk did. Finally, he managed to guide the 900-page behemoth down into the right pocket, zipping up the pockets and moving his backpack in front of the door.

Now for breakfast.

Minhyuk moved to his kitchenette, expecting to face a Major Breakfast Problem: he had no breakfast. He had used the last of his precious pancake mix the other day. Eggo waffles were long gone. And he certainly couldn’t afford to buy breakfast out this morning. He hopelessly searched his cupboards, debating whether instant ramen would be better than soup for breakfast. Screw it; he decided that skipping breakfast altogether was easiest.

Turning around, he noticed a large pile of piping hot pancakes with syrup drizzling down the sides of the pancake tower sitting on his kitchen counter.

“Kihyun?” he called out.

Instead of digging in to the pancakes -- why are you such an idiot, his stomach protested -- Minhyuk decided to search his studio apartment. Kihyun had to be around here somewhere. That’s how genies worked, right?. They have to be like, you know, nearby. Like Wi-Fi networks: their powers have a range. Right?

Minhyuk searched his living room. Nothing. The bathroom? Nope. Behind the shower curtain? No. Under his bed sheets? He wished, but nada. In the kitchen cupboards? Zilch. Just then, Minhyuk turned around to face his mysterious pancakes again. This time, there was a handwritten note sitting next to the pancakes that he swore wasn’t there before.

“Just eat them,” it read.

It had to be Kihyun, right?

Kihyun’s handwriting was pretty.

Where was he?

Minhyuk decided that he might as well eat the pancakes while they were here, cutting off a large portion with the accompanying knife and fork. It was like Kihyun was there, insisting that Minhyuk use actual silverware instead of the plastic stuff he jacked from Starbucks. Minhyuk committed to absolutely demolishing these pancakes, stuffing huge pieces into his mouth without thinking. Well, he was thinking. Just not about pancakes. He was thinking about Kihyun, and if this was his apology for last night. But where was he?

Before he knew it, Minhyuk had cleared his plate, his mind preoccupied by considering all the ways today could play out. Like, was Kihyun going to avoid him all day? Yeah, those types of thoughts. Not much healthier than the pancakes he apparently just inhaled.

There wasn’t much he could do to make Kihyun re-appear, so he slung his backpack over his shoulders and walked to the library. At the very least, he could try to study for P-Chem.

You know those walks where you kinda just… forget everything? And walk? That’s what today’s walk to campus was. He just walked. One foot in front of the other, stopping at crosswalks, ignoring everything but focusing on nothing -- he was on auto-pilot. Minhyuk wandered into the library, which was surprisingly empty. He’d never been up this early before, so he had no baseline for library crowdedness at 9:30am. He was able to nab a self-study room, the studying equivalent of a booth table at a restaurant, with ease.

He shut the door to the room, and dropped his bag on an empty chair. He unzipped the pockets, but, before he could coax his textbook out of his bag, he heard the door click back open.

“Oh, I’m sorry this room is ta--”

Minhyuk stopped mid-sentence when he looked up and saw who it was.

“Hey,” the shorter boy said, shutting the door again.

Minhyuk just stood there, hand half in his bag, mouth slack-jawed, and completely speechless.

Kihyun looked like he always did: beautiful. The same sharp facial features, narrow eyes, wide nose, soft brown hair. He looked… sad. Minhyuk had never seen so much emotion in Kihyun, except for last night.

“Studying?” Kihyun finally piped up, breaking the long awkward silence between them.

“Look, if you’re here to tell me to wish to just pass the exam…” Minhyuk replied, his voice a bit hoarse and dramatic. He didn’t know where that thought came from, but it was the first thing that popped into his mind. It was like his mind was wandering around Kihyun’s plump lips but his mouth was vocalizing all the pent-up pain that had accumulated in the last twelve hours.

Kihyun seemed to expect something along these lines, looking down toward the carpet, his expression unchanged. He couldn’t look Minhyuk in the eyes while Minhyuk was outwardly angry with him.

The shorter boy stared at the ground for a few more moments before gathering the courage to look back up at him. “I want to help you study.”

Minhyuk paused. Kihyun seemed earnest, like he meant ‘help’ in the human way and not in the I’m-going-to-use-magic-to-solve-this-problem genie way.

“Okay,” he responded.

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay,” he confirmed, yanking his textbook out of his bag. “I have my P-Chem exam on--”

“--Tuesday,” Kihyun interrupted, cutting him off. He had moved toward the table in the middle of the study room, taking a seat opposite of Minhyuk. It deflated him a bit -- he wished Kihyun had decided to sit next to him.

“Yeah, Tuesday.” Minhyuk pulled out his textbook and sat down.

“So what’s it on?”

“Umm,” Minhyuk demurred.

Kihyun gave him a look.

“Look, I'm just trying to go over all the material today, and then I’ll study the stuff I really suck at tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan… ish,” Kihyun replied. Minhyuk giggled -- he forgot how much he missed Kihyun’s sass.

He pulled out his syllabus, placing it next to the open textbook. There was kind of a problem, though.

“Kihyun.”

“Yeah.”

“It would be easier if you were, um…” he started. “Sitting next to me? That way it’s easier to show you stuff.”

“Oh. Right,” Kihyun replied. “Actually, how about I go grab some reference textbooks and study material from the stacks outside while you figure out what your test is on?”

“Okay.”

“Oh my god, I’m so tired,” Minhyuk dramatically complained, letting his head fall onto the table with a thud. One of his hands was holding his throbbing head while his other arm was stretched out, reaching across the table. He rolled his head over to look at his tutor-genie, Kihyun.

“I can go get some more snacks?” Kihyun suggested. Minhyuk could see his eyes darting around at all the empty wrappers scattered around the table, though -- he knew Kihyun was secretly judging just how much ‘brain food,’ aka junk food, Minhyuk needed to stay motivated and awake. They’d been at this for hours, and Minhyuk was just about brain dead. Delirious, or whatever.

He wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion or the fact that Kihyun must have tried to push his brown hair back like fourteen times in the past thirty minutes when explaining basic P-Chem concepts to Minhyuk, but Kihyun looked even prettier right now. Especially looking up at his jawline from the side. His side profile was stunning.

“Minhyuk? Snacks?”

Oh, right. Words. But, instead of vocalizing his needs like an adult, he just groaned dramatically, earning another look from Kihyun.

“Okay, no snacks.”

“I don’t know anything,” he whined.

“That’s a lie!” Kihyun reassured him. “You know some things!”

Minhyuk groaned again.

“Look,” Kihyun started. “And I really don’t want you to take this the wrong way? But I’m going to suggest it because you’ve tried really hard and because I really want you to pass this exam. But… you could… just… wish to pass the exam?”

Minhyuk was squealing inside. Maybe it was from the delirium, but he loved how Kihyun tip-toed around asking him to wish for it this time. It was so cute. The Kihyun that he knew cared about him deeply finally appeared, and it made him ridiculously happy.

“But that’s not what I want~” Minhyuk teased, looking directly into Kihyun’s eyes while sing-songing his response.

“Oh?” Kihyun replied, dramatically splaying his own arm out like Minhyuk and resting his head on the table. They were now at eye-level, both staring at each other. “Do you want... another stack of pancakes, o lazy one?”

“Nope~”

“What do you want then, Minhyuk?”

Without missing a beat, he replied: “I wish” -- dramatically letting that word fall off his lips -- “that the boy I was looking at right now would kiss me.”

Kihyun’s eyes widened, a light shade of pink instantly creeping across his face.

“You -- You didn’t have to use one of your wishes on that,” he murmured. Kihyun looked away briefly, then focused back on Minhyuk. Hesitantly, the shorter boy leaned closer and closer before softly planting his lips on Minhyuk’s. It was quick -- chaste almost -- because Kihyun recoiled almost as soon as he naturally could. Minhyuk couldn’t get over how insanely pink Kihyun’s cheeks looked, how bashfully cute his genie was.

“Gotta save the best wish for last?” Minhyuk choked out, the humor mixing with the pain to form a lump in his throat. Kihyun had to leave now, right? That’s how this worked. That’s how it worked in Aladdin. Oh god.

“It… It wasn’t your last wish, Minhyuk,” Kihyun softly replied. Minhyuk watched as Kihyun, who still had his planted on the table like Minhyuk, brought his hands together. Using his right hand, he removed the large blingy-looking ring that adorned his right ring finger -- the ring that he liked to play with when he was nervous. Kihyun then reached for Minhyuk’s right hand, gently pulling it close so that it was positioned between the two of them. Kihyun was lazy but deliberate; he slid the ring down Minhyuk’s dainty ring finger.

“You… you know how you asked how we could ‘lose’ a genie?” Kihyun started. “Well, uh, I may not know the genie rules that well, but I know that this is the way that I say that I want to spend some more time with a human.”

More time?

“Y--you mean you’re not a genie anymore?”

“Not anymore,” Kihyun confirmed, a shy smile creeping across his face.

“You can’t grant wishes anymore?”

“I can, actually,” he answered. “But only yours.”

☆ Epilogue: The Eleventh (?) Wish ☆

Minhyuk actually lost track of how many wishes it had been now.

It had been about a week since Kihyun committed to him. A week since Kihyun and him became ‘real,’ since Minhyuk had to explain to Jooheon (and Changkyun) that he had a new boyfriend. A side-effect of committing to Minhyuk? Everybody could see Kihyun now. It made Minhyuk’s life much easier, to be honest.

Their relationship improved dramatically without the constant pressure of wishes hanging over them. Kihyun was relaxed. He was still sassy, of course, and Minhyuk loved him for that. But Kihyun also was fiercely protective -- fiery when someone so much as threatened to hurt Minhyuk’s feelings. It was nice to see that fire directed at someone else, to be honest, even if Minhyuk could more than handle himself.

There were problems of course.

One day, Minhyuk came home from class to a fully-stocked kitchen. New pots, new pans, new appliances, tons of food. Fruit -- even in this economy! And lots of pancake mix. All the pancake mix.

And while Minhyuk truly loved that Kihyun cared, he had to set ground rules for wishing. No amazing, life-changing wishes, no surprising him with tons of new worldly possessions, no making his life so easy that one of his problems became irrelevant, no more than one “wish” per day, et cetera.

“-- Only one a day?” Kihyun complained.

“Yeah, and it has to be small.”

“Why?” Kihyun protested. “I love you and I want to show that I love you, Minhyukie.”

“I love too too, babe. But, like, wishes are the easy way out. I love you because you’re you, not because you’re a genie who can grant any wish.”

The next day was slightly better -- he ‘only’ got a new laptop from Kihyun. They had to sit down and have a talk about what “small” meant. You know, flowers and chocolates and a home-made dinner. Not a new car.

Minhyuk also insisted that Kihyun find something to do during the day. Like enroll in some classes. In a different major, he emphasized. Kihyun acquiesced, got a perfect score on the college entrance exam, and became a philosophy major. Apparently he had a soft spot for the Enlightenment. Something about his youth.

But other than those few problems -- and what relationship doesn’t have problems? -- Minhyuk couldn’t be happier. Besides, it was a nice day out today, and he could watch Kihyun try (and fail) to eat his ice cream for at least a few hours. The park was lovely, but his date was lovelier.

Minhyuk was glad he canned his genie.

[kyunsies]

hello mädch!! how are you? how are you doing? I hope you've been doing good since your last message! as always, never ever worry about being late, I have been so wiped out this week already, so I'm even later than usual myself!

how was your last day at work? did you get to celebrate? are you happy that you've left? i hope you've been able to treat yourself with good and nice things for all your hard work, you so so so deserve it.

thank you so so much for your kind words. It seems like the operation stuff will be resolved not so bad soon? but I'm always the kind of person where I'll feel better when they'll have the operations and things will all go well. especially in the pandemic climate, I don't know it makes me even more anxious, if that makes sense?

I can't believe you did the research on encephalitis!! I had no idea it was something that impacted children or not, this is absolutely terrifying – stuff with the brain is always pretty scary. I always feel people don't look out for brain signs and signals that much? so people just don't really know how to deal with things? no no, thank you very much for talking about all of that stuff, I find medical things fascinating, I just obviously don't know lots about them, so it's cool hearing you talk about it, especially since you know so much about it and it's your area of expertise, you know? but thank you ha ha, I'm not gonna lie, I do feel a bit better knowing that it's unlikely I'll catch it. XD do you find your way more careful with the health of your family members, knowing that you know all this medical stuff as well?

i am honestly crazy impressed that you have never ever pulled an all nighter, especially with how hard you work! that screams amazing time management to me, that is so so epic! but I agree, I think you'll take on things is really healthy, like I know people see all nighters and like busting your body really hard as some noble thing, but I think work culture needs to be healthier in general, so it's really really super good that you have those habits? honestly fam, I cannot remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed ever? I think my average sleep time is between 5 to 6 hours and the weird thing is even if I oversee that I think I end up still feeling really tired anyway! We don't have panera bread - I had to look it up just now, I'm not gonna lie it does look yummy (but then I suppose food photography is all meant to look yummy right?) a friend of mine working at a takeaway is going through that stuff though, well like if he gets it right it's really great but if he makes even a small mistake it's not so great. [people are so mean to others that work in the food industry, I glad you managed to get out. You've really done so much work in your life! Your work ethic really is amazing, I hope you give yourself more and more credit for everything you've managed to do in your life <3 <3 really really really

I've seen pictures of virginia beach! It looks so pretty - FIVE MASSIVE LAKES??!?!?! we don't have anything like that here. maybe a few rivers and streams and things, but all of the big lakes are much further north from me! or maybe i'm just not impressed find my country anymore. do you have a favourite out of any of these lakes? that's kind of amazing, that there are so many idyllic and beautiful places you can holiday near you. do you have like a dream holiday location outside of the US?

YOU BOWL!? That is amazing though?!??!?!!! my confession is that I have never bowled in my entire life! because my hands were really tiny I was never really allowed to with all the other creative stuff I was doing, so I have never ever been. my mum keeps saying when coronavirus is over we can go and do it sometime - but the balls are pretty big no? I feel like I would need one of those ramps to be able to bowl XD I'm not very strong, so you must have such good upper body strength and, like,c oordination and stuff too, right? YES I would love to see pictures of you bowling!! Is it a really positive collegiate atmosphere? I've seen in friends with gymnastics and soccer but it can be pretty brutal sometimes. parenting really is just such a noble thing!

honestly, anxiety is anxiety no matter how big or small it is. like I don't like how some people sometimes like to make their mental health issues worse than other peoples? it's so hard to quantify already without competing about stuff. have you gone to see people to help you with some of your emotional trauma? I've definitely found seeing professionals have helped? but I know it's definitely different for different people right? i hope you can give yourself safe love and care for it everything <3 and dw i'm not annoyed with anything you're saying at all! I think this is so real and human and you need to be able to say this stuff you know? like, what you're feeling matters and it's important, and it's okay that this stuff can't be fixed overnight or with a snap of your fingers so don't worry – repeat it as many times as you need. I hope so so so much that this stuff works out for you! and with how hard you work I'm sure it will, like even if it's not your first choice, I'm sure you're so resourceful that you'll find a way to make it work? you'll manage to pick yourself up and do even better than you thought you were going to you know? well, I believe in you, anyway!

yes to the perfume! I'm glad this is finally introduced you to bluebells, they're one of my favourite flowers! perfume really should be a pick me up, shouldn't they? OMG you have an oil diffuser!! So do I! What scents do you use? do you stuff to help you sleep, or just to help you be in a good mood or vibe with your space?

I cannot deal with the universe app omg it is just so so slow?! I saw hyungwon and jooheon were on idol radio 2 today! i didn't get to catch it yet - did you? we did the kpop thing!!! It was really really good, I hope this means good things will come soon, tho I had to wake up so super early for it but it was worth it! i had a not so good day yesterday with work, so it was a balance today that i really needed. Please say hi to your mum for me! I love your long letters, I think I spent half an hour on this one too, so it's all good! it's so nice hearing how you're doing but also I am happy knowing that you can tell me anything. I hope you are having the best rest ever because you deserve it after working so hard and you deserve to really treat yourself this week! I hope you have been treating yourself a bit more :) LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS!! TAKE CARE :D REST AND EAT AND SLEEP AND HYDRATE AND ALL THE GOOD THINGS WELL :D xxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxxooxoxo

-💥

ALRIGHT I'M HERE ANGEL !!!!!! sorry this is a couple days late :( how have u been this week hun? i hope well !!!!!

my last day of work was really chill !!! it was nice to check all the things off that i had to finish before leaving ;____; and i said goodbye to my favorite co-workers :( i was a little sad leaving them bc i will probably never see them again, but they've treated me with much kindness so i wish them the best !!! <3 i've only had about a week to myself and honestly it didn't feel like a true break bc i had to pack for uni and it was a little stressful sdfjklfjs ; right now i'm in a hotel bc i actually move in this weekend ! i drove 5 hours today, and then 2 more hours tomorrow !!

also i'm really happy the operation on your family member went okay right ?? i agree that it's more relieving knowing that the procedure is done and over with bc youre THAT much closer to everything going back to normal again soon !!! the road to recovery is near <3

also SDKFJS ABOUT ENCEPHALITIS !!! yeah it's definitely not something insanely common i would say but it's not rare either ;____; and although children maybe won't be diagnosed with encephalitis per se, them getting ear infections all the time IS and it is something to note that significant swelling in their head is happening :') inflammation really is no joke and the brain is scary bc like i said it really doesn't have anywhere to go :( so babe i wouldn't be too nervous about it okay !!! you would definitely know if something is wrong with u ;____; and again sorry i went all anatomy brain on u it's just something i've learned about esp when i took peds last semester :') so thank u for letting me talk about it with ya hehe <3

all nighters !!!!! are for ppl who don't care for their well being !!!!! LKSDFJ no i'm just kidding i have really high respect for ppl who are productive at night (one of my best friends can pull off all nighters with no problem and she gets really good grades) but it's just not for me :( i feel guilty telling ppl i've never pulled an all nighter as a NURSING STUDENT but ,,,,,,, i just cannot, my brain cannot focus on anything past midnight . i become counterproductive, it's just not my optimal time for studying . bc i wake up so early on the weekends i try to get everything done by dinner time ,,,,,, and even when i did my sport and travelled so much i never studied late into the night (maybe only a couple of times); and again like i said maybe that differentiates me from being a B student instead of a straight A student :( but i just try my best and don't push myself over the edge bc it ends up turning out worse for me :') and also love :((( thank u so much for listening to my little anxieties all this time , i fell bad for unloading it but u make it so easy for me to feel comfortable ;____; i know it's common for us to feel this way, but for some reason i have this thing in my head where i think everyone around me has their shit together and i'm always the one that is fucking everything up, if this makes sense? i know it's irrational but ;____; it's how i feel ;____; i've actually never seen anyone about this new found anxiety early bc i don't want any of my family members finding out :( not bc they would shame me or anything and i'm really close with my family, but this is just a whole different and new thing that i don't think i'm ready t share that with my family yet. i would love to see a therapist when i live on my own, but idk i don't want to feel weak, you know? i know seeing someone for help doesn't make u weak by any means, but it's hard to admit these things to ppl i feel :( i sure hope you're right, i just want whatever is supposed to happen to me work out in my favor :((( so thank u for all of ur love and support hun ;____; you're like the older sibling that i never had <3

VIRGINIA BEACH REALLY IS SO NICE they were always really fun family vacations for me <3 it's a shame i haven't gone in like the past 7 years bc my grandparent's health has kind of deteriorated over time, but those are memories i'm glad i was able to share with them for such a long time when i was younger <3 and YEAH 5 massive totally huge lakes (like i said u probably have an idea of what state i live in now lol) but they're all so lovely and pretty <3 and honestly all of them are gorgeous in their own way, but without saying you can probably look it up, the biggest of the 5 is where we visit most often !!! and a dram holiday?? i would say the big 3 locations i would love love love to go outside of the US are italy, spain, and croatia ;_____; i think croatia is soooo beautiful (so small) but absolutely gorgeous :(

and YEAH I BOWLED LMAO and there's no shame in never bowling before !!!! i a lot of ppl don't really like it bc a) its frustrating and b) it takes a lot of patience / hand-eye coordination lol but it's something i've been doing for, oh idk, probably close to 13 years at this point lol ; it's just a shame to me that ppl associate the sport with just going out with friends and having a beer :/ it's so much more than that (to me at least ;____; ) and !!!!! don't worry to much about having small hands !!!! the balls themselves aren't really big per se, it's the weight that ppl are more concerned with lol the highest weight available is 16 lbs and ppl are surprised when they hear that i throw with 14 lbs lol ; and !!!! i have super tiny hands so i feel like compared to a lot of girls i wasn't able to get a high rev rate (how many times the ball rolls before hitting the pins) but i think a lot of my strength is in my legs actually !! yes it takes upper body strength but the lower muscle groups are just as important :) and the collegiate atmosphere is really positive and energetic i would say !!! bc it's not like soccer where ur teammates are far away, rather they are right there cheering u on and picking u up when ur down <3 i love my teammates ;____;

pls the jo malone perfume i cherish it so much i've been wearing it everyday LOL i am so in love with it !!!!!! it brings me joy, which i think is important <3 and !!! OIL DIFFUSER SQUAD LOL !!! what scents do u like angel ?? my go to is always yalangyalang or mint bc it's very calming for me lol i usually use it when i got to sleep :) i actually hate the scent of lavender even tho ppl say it's calming LSDFJ

I DID NOT GET TO WATCH IDOL RADIO in it's entirety :( just bc it wasn't subbed and it's really hard for me to stay focused for an hour and a half when i don't know what they're saying hhh but they looked so cute :( and i hope everything at work is going okay my love !!!!! the whole kpop thing sounds so exciting <3 and i'm sorry u didn't have the great of a day the other day ;____; was it just bc u were busy ??? or just didn't feel right? i hope u were able to finish off the week strong tho bubbie ;_____; again, thank u so so much for allowing me to be so comfortable with u hun <3 u are such a dear friend to me and i'm so happy to have someone like u around, i love u so much :( if i don't hear from u pls pls have a good weekend and a good week next week okay !!!!!!!!!!!!! i start classes on monday so i will be coming on here for lots of emotional support LMAO . mwah <3 love u so much <3

[idiopathicsmile]

any advice on how to get work done for college when the anxiety/depression/adhd cocktail is being absolutely horrid?

hi! um. oh man. i have to tell you, i mostly got through college by picking classes that i knew would be interesting-yet-relatively-light-on-the-courseload (what’s up, creative writing seminars) and by putting each paper off until midnight the night before it was due, using that sudden panic as focus-fuel, and then working on it all night, often finishing within an hour of the due date.

i would not recommend this.

ngl, i’m posting this in the hopes that this is one of those cases where other people comment with better advice than what i got, but here’s what i got:

1. take a deep breath. whatever situation you are in, with regards to stress and deadlines--even if you knowingly put off stuff way too long and it’s objectively your fault--remind yourself that there is absolutely nothing to be gained in this moment by beating yourself up. 

“but i procrastinated and now i only have eight hours to write an eight-page paper in spanish, a language i do not speak! i deserve to feel bad about this, i--”

nope. nope nope nope. this is kind of just how college goes, at least part of the time, for most people. hell, even neurotypicals, i have to imagine. (i’m gonna go ahead and bet that, if this post gets more than 3 comments, one will be “oh god, Smile, how dare you give me undergrad flashbacks like that”)

and because i’m gonna go ahead and give up any pretense at directing this at anybody but my younger untreated/unmedicated self: hey guess what, despite what your brain tells you, hating yourself is never virtuous. no matter how badly you’ve screwed up, there’s nothing ethical or just about sitting there deliberately thinking the meanest thoughts you possibly can about yourself, in order to punish yourself.

put aside whether you “deserve” to feel good or bad. that’s not your job anyway; you’re not Athena, and this moment is not about what type of judgment you need to lay upon yourself. 

it’s about finishing your work. 

(and if you try to get to the work-mindset, and then you hit a patch of self-hatred and slip back into that swamp for a second, don’t punish yourself for that either. this is also not useful to the task, which is to finish the work.)

(later, when the work is done and handed in, and you have some time to breathe again and reflect on how gross it feels to pull another near-all-nighter, that is the time to--not tear yourself apart, but calmly reflect on how you could maybe prevent or at least decrease these adventures. calm reflection will be easier when your brain isn’t screaming DANGER anyway.)

2. have you had any water recently? fill up a cup or a mug and drink some water.

3. pick whatever’s the most urgent. set everything else aside for a moment; give yourself permission to not even feel bad about that stuff. 

set a timer for fifteen minutes. tell yourself, “all i need to do is work on this assignment for fifteen minutes, and then if i need to, i’ll let myself take a five-minute break.” if the timer goes off and you’re in the zone, keep going until you feel your attention slipping, then reset your timer for that five-minute break. get up, pace around, stretch, make a cup of tea. when the timer goes off, set another 15 minutes of task-time and so on. 

(i stole the timer trick recently from a youtube channel about adhd stuff; it was not a strategy i had as a student, but it’s useful in adulthood. so much of the time with a panic spiral, the most important thing is just bypassing the fear-based avoidance and tricking your brain into getting started.

4. if this is about studying, and not about assignments, that the most efficient way to internalize information is to reinterpret it in your own words, as if explaining to someone unfamiliar with the concept, and then to write that out, by hand. also, when studying tonight for a test that’s tomorrow, please disregard item 5 about staying up all night. sleeping before a test is as important as studying before it. study efficiently as possible, and then allow yourself a decent chunk of sleep. never pull an all-nighter to study for a test happening the next morning. you will hate your own consciousness.

5. there comes a point, when you are working on a big paper due the next day, where you realize, ‘ah, okay, i will not really be sleeping tonight. tomorrow is going to be a tired day.’ don’t shame yourself for that, either. accept it. make your peace. you are not scum if you don’t manage any meaningful sleep tonight. tomorrow is a new day, and probably you’ll be able to find time in there for a nap.

also at this point, i think it’s okay to at some point allow yourself like a fifteen-minute break (between periods of being productive) to just blast a loud, upbeat song that is kind of tangentially related to what you’re working on* (headphones if you have a roommate or if it’s after quiet hours) and dance around your room like an idiot. sanity is a strange beast, managed in strange ways.

*ex. for a gender and the arts class, once i wrote a paper discussing the portrayal of Fantine being pushed by class and gender inequality towards a life of prostitution in the novel Les Mis, and comparing it in tone to the musical Les Mis, exploring how the music and staging did or didn’t seem to match Victor Hugo’s intent. (in the height of the most recent surge of Les Mis fandom, you could find better meta on the fucking sidewalk. but i got an A- i think.) anyway, my themesong that night was ‘the fallen’ by franz ferdinand. (which is ironic, because it’s much more of a bahorel song.)

if what you really need is some emotional hand-holding, you could instead opt to listen to the gentlest song you can find, while curled up in a ball. pick something personally relevant that will be soothing to you. if you’re blanking, there’s always the iron and wine cover of ‘such great heights.’ (you’ll still want to set that timer, because this can slide back into procrastination if you’re sad or tired enough.)

6. remember that the amount of work you have ebbs and flows. however bad it is right now, this too shall pass. 

7. more on the ‘general maintenance’ end, and not the ‘oh god everything is on fire’ end of stress--my life has gotten much easier since i started programming into my phone calendar everything i need to do and when i need to do it, AND setting alarms to remind myself like an hour beforehand.

8. one more reminder: don’t beat yourself up for those moments when it all feels like too much. there’s a reason why most post-graduation adults still have college stress dreams. 

[princessamericachavez]

How To Survive College (if I could do it, so can you)

So I’m finally graduating college and I figured I’d made a list of quick survival tips to make everyone’s experience easier. Going into college at 18 can be a complicated experience, especially since it’s normal to still feel insecure at that age about what to do and how to go about this ‘pseudo-adult’ thing. So, here’s what I can share with you new-comers (and not so new) to make your life easier:

Avoid 7am classes at (almost) all costs. Look, if you’ve been in Tumblr around long enough you’ve heard about this one, you know we all tell you this is not like High School. It’s all real. You’ll hate yourself and your naiveness every morning of the semester.

Exception: if that is the only time you can take that class, make sure to check whether it’ll be offered next semester or whether you might need to credit that course in order to take other ones. Early mornings might be worth it in exchange for not loosing a whole year of classes and struggling in your later semesters.

Your health comes first. Seriously. This is not some “Tumblr self-care uwu” thing, it’s very important especially if you wanna do your best in your classes and day to day things. Eat healthy. Hungry students might be prone to just eating whatever they can find or lots of take-out but that will only leave you filling too full and sleepy, you could miss a whole afternoon of doing useful shit because of a bad meal. 

On that note: eat. No excuses. No “I forgot”. No “I was too busy”. Being hungry makes it harder to concentrate, plus if you’re living away from home you won’t have anyone nagging at you to make sure you’ve eaten. You need to be a grown up and take care of yourself. 

All-Nighters are the WORST. For real. You don’t realize how important sleep is until it becomes a scarce thing in your life. When you sleep, your brain tosses away useless information, reboots, and most importantly: saves things you’ve learnt into your long-therm memory. So if you spend all night cramming for a test, you’re just wasting time. You didn’t learn shit. Plus, lack of sleep can increase alcohol levels in your blood. So you’ll end up attending to class exhausted, feeling foggy, not remembering shit and drunk-ish. Not good for tests at all. 

Don’t even give a fuck about popularity. I know, this sounds like something out of The Breakfast Club, but I’m serious. It might have been “a thing” in High School, but in College? No one gives a flying fuck. You’ll notice this mostly with the older students. They are all exhausted, stressed, sleep-deprived and just trying to survive. You might see a guy on his pijamas strolling through campus on a skate board and I promise no one will think “lol what a loser”. Everyone’s thinking “damn I should’ve worn my PJ’s too”. Pretending to be someone you’re not is a damn waste of time and effort.

Open up in class. Not in a “tell them all your secrets” kinda way, just be yourself. I know: cheesy. But listen, you’re studying to do what you love —or at least, I hope, what you like— to do. So are the people around you. Which means they may have a lot more in common with you than you might ever dream. By being yourself, you’ll attract others like you and find a cool group of friends who understand you way better than the “we just happened to have a class together” high school friends. 

Join extracurriculars! This is related to the two previous points. The fastest way to meet new people that are like you —especially in a big college where actually getting to meet people can be hard— is joining an activity. It can be a sport, a club, a student council. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s something you like doing. Believe me, there are a lot more people that share your interests than you might initially think. Especially do this in your first semesters, when you’re likely to have easier classes and more free time to do this kinda stuff. As some one who did a lot of things in the past four years, trust me, I used to see guys you’d go straight home after their classes and they had a lot harder time adapting than those of us with a full schedule of fun stuff. 

Find time for yourself too. Especially if you’re an introvert, “me time” will be important for your mental health. 

Exercise. Find time for it. I know an extra hour of studying or lying around might seem more “useful” to you, but stress can be very high at college and it’s a major reason for people to end up failing classes or having a hard time. An hour of exercise every now and then can do wonders for you, especially in finals (even though it might seem it’s harder to find the time in those dates, it’s twice as worth it).

Don’t be scared to be alone. Like I mentioned before, popularity doesn’t exist here. You gotta eat alone between classes? No one gives a damn. You need to sit on your computer alone while doing homework at the library? So do tons of people. I knew friends who wouldn’t eat at college unless they found someone to sit down and eat with them too. Honestly? Not worth it. 

Get to know your teachers. Many of them will show up again later on to give you other classes so knowing how each of them operates will make your life easier. Some teachers care the most about punctuality, some grade creativity over content, some (more than you can imagine) will turn out to be awesome friends. 

For example: if you have a teacher who is closer to your age, they might be a lot tougher the first few weeks of classes in an attempt to set boundaries with the students and build up respect, work hard at first and they’ll ease up as time goes by. 

Reach out when you need help. Whether it is to your friends, your parents, your teachers or a counsellor, there are tons of people to give you a hand when you’re struggling academically or personally. Asking when in doubt, or when you need help, will make your life easier than if you try to do everything by yourself. 

There’s probably more specific stuff that I’ll post now and then if I remember, but this are the general guidelines I’d give to anyone starting out at college. Finally, my inbox is always open for anyone who wants to reach out and ask stuff about classes, friends, etc. People have come to me before wanting to know how to write essays or study and I’ll try to give the best advice I can. 

Good luck! :)

[altyexcray]

I can’t sleep.

It’s nothing new.

I’m an autistic, bi-polar depressive with manic tendencies.

Not sleeping is pretty part and parcel for me.

Used to be I would/could pull all nighters, sometimes days in a row, with only cat naps to sustain me.

Be up all night. Get ready for school/work/date.

What have you.

But tonight my brain won’t shut off.

Browsing the frankly daunting TBR of bookmarked fics, dating back to 2016, mostly from Safari, from when I was living in hotels, because my douchecannoe of an ex lied about..well.

Every fucking thing.

The townhome he rented for us in Colorado Springs, his accident. Most likely the job he had at the time.

And I fucking fell for it. Because I was a stupid, touch starved, attention seeking, needy as fuck person who had absolutely no fucking goals in life.

Still don’t. Not really.

So my ex whips up this whole whirlwind of a story, leaves me, and my ferrets, with no where to live.

The house I’d been living in for the past 5? years had been sold. And I, the damn idiot, had believed the asshat about everything.

How we were going to start a new life in Springs. I’d never have to work, because he’d support me.

All that jazz.

Pull the other one.

I wound up living in two different motels.

My laptop’s WIFI busted. My ancient 1st gen iPad and a temperamental S2 my only connection to the world outside my room.

I watched a lot of fucking Food Neywork and IGN in those days.

Trying to find a job. Begging money off my dad, adopted mom, to pay for my room.

Pay for the cremation of my little old ferret lady who passed before the move.

Relying on my dad for rides to the store. To bring me food. Take me to see about possible jobs.

I’d dropped out of the Gundam Wing fandom right about the time I let this motherfucker in my life.

To this day, the second biggest regret of my life.

All the time I spent with him, was time away from my kids.

I think..the only reason I went so hard after him, was because my Dom, my unofficial boyfriend. The guy who never fucking opened up to anyone, including his own fucking wife, couldn’t be mine.

We both knew it.

We’d had an agreement, when it all started, I wouldn’t fall in love with him.

Pretty sure somewhere around the..maybe 6 month mark. We both broke that rule.

My ferrets loved him to fucking death.

Including my little alpha brat, Romey, long passed, who absolutely hated men.

Oh, but she adored Biker.

I was the only human she’d bonded to.

Until he came along.

Here I was. Juggling nights with Biker, who never lied, between time with this top shelf, wannabe alpha pencil dick.

Didn’t really have time for the GW fandom.

Or any fandom, really.

I had 11 ferrets, Biker and the king of lies, all while trying to find/keep a job.

GW, LJ. They took a serious backseat to everything else.

Another of my regrets.

I’d check LJ, on occasion. The app was always glitchy on my iPad and there was nothing doing for it.

It was an even bigger bitch on Safari.

Check LJ. Scroll through the feeds for the GW authors I’d followed to that platform.

Then I kinda just..dropped off.

There wasn’t a whole lot going on, with the fandom. Aside from a couple die hard authors who did like Christmas stories or updated long running arcs.

Last year, in a fit of pique, I log back in. It’s been like 2-3 years since I last checked LJ, and I was feeling mildly curious what the people I’d been following since I was barely a teen, were up to.

Scroll.

Scroll.

Scroll.

Stop.

The Queen herself. One of the most prolific authors in the GW fandom, whom I’d chased across archives and links, was gone.

Breast cancer that ravaged her whole body.

She was just..gone.

She left her LJ in the care of Offspring. Explained what was going on.

That she’d kept it behind the scenes, not wanting friends to know. But her time was coming, and she left a note for Offspring to post to her LJ.

I cried for days after seeing the entry.

This was a writer who coined the phrase, “flyboy,” so indelibly in my mind, for Heero Yuy, that it brings up memories of sitting in my closet/bathroom/bedroom, as a teen, depending on which story I’m reading.

I can’t remember a thing from school most days, but those memories are crystal clear.

Last year, Offspring did as she promised and posted the very last 12 Days of Christmas.

One a day.

The first 11 written by her mom, the last based off an outline left for her.

I haven’t read them yet.

It breaks my heart, knowing that I wasted time on a bastard who never cared for me, while I could have been reading these beautiful stories and letting this creative soul how much I adored them.

Now I’ll never get the chance.

The chance to let this amazing person know how much I’ve loved their stories.

Nearly 2 decades in the GW fandom, she wrote stories.

2 fucking decades.

That, right there, is dedication, of a whole different caliber.

Not many people in the GW fandom still writing. Outside of a few outliers.

Not from the old days, anyway.

I can’t stop crying.

Her LJ hurts to visit. The constant memory that never again will it be updated.

No more unique turn of phrase.

No more Heero “Flyboy” Yuy.

She’s gone.

Never take your fandom for granted.

It can be friends you met.

Family you adopted.

Treasure those stories.

Appreciate the writers.

Because one day, it may end. And you’ll always be left wondering what if.

Let your favorite authors know just how much you love their stories.

Time is fleeting.

But fandom is forever.

I regret not going back. Even just to let her know I was still there, still reading, still appreciating, 2 decades later.

One day, the ache will lessen and I’ll be able to read her stories without breaking down in tears.

But until then..

Sunhawk16..I miss you.

Fly high, flygirl.

[ellymackay]

Building a Better Brain Through Sleep

The following blog post Building a Better Brain Through Sleep was first published to www.ellymackay.com

When we think of quality sleep, we typically think of it in relation to how it helps our body recover from a long day — and with good reason.

As I’ve talked about before, a good night’s sleep can work wonders for the body, whether it’s alleviating severe back pain or helping you bounce back from a tiring gym session.

(You can find out the best time for your body to work out by finding out your chronotype. If you don’t already know it, it’s easy to learn by taking this quiz: www.chronoquiz.com.)

But consistent, uninterrupted sleep goes beyond preserving and improving your body. Just as importantly, a good night’s sleep is essential when it comes to building a better and healthier brain.

Sleep plays a key role in memory retention, alertness, and improved creativity, among other benefits. These benefits apply to any age group.

Let’s run through a number of ways sleep helps improve your brain.

But first, keep in mind that you want to stay cool during the night. Research has shown between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal for sleep. To regulate your body temperature during the night, I recommend Cool Jams, which, thanks to their moisture-wicking technology and lightweight fabric, are designed to keep you from getting too hot or too cold in bed. Keeping your body temperature low maximizes your time in bed by letting you reach REM sleep quicker — and helps you enjoy the brain boost that comes with it.

Alright, here are 3 ways your brain benefits from a good night’s sleep.

Sleep Improves Your Memory

Your memory is directly connected to your sleep habits.

When you receive new information, your brain needs time for it to completely “stick” and become something you easily recall. This process, called “memory consolidation,” is when what we’ve learned shifts from short-term to long-term memory. And research indicates memory consolidation benefits from sleep.

One example: In a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, participants were asked to memorize 15 cards with pictures of animals and different objects. They were then asked to memorize a slightly different batch of cards. Some of the participants were then allowed to sleep, while others were asked to stay up before being tested on how well they memorized the cards.

The group that was allowed to sleep performed much better — remembering 85% of the first batch of cards compared to only 60% for those who weren’t allowed to sleep.

The simple explanation is that while you’re awake, you continue to be inundated with new information that can dislodge what you just learned. But sleep improves memory by acting as an instant replay machine, allowing the mind to review what it’s learned during the day. Brain scans show the cerebellum, which controls short-term memory, is more active when sleeping. By getting a full night of sleep, your brain has more time to reinforce what it has just learned.

Sleep Deprivation Hurts Your Ability to Focus

Pulling an all-nighter and cramming before a big test is a college staple. But knowing what we know about the brain, it probably isn’t worth it.

Not only does sleep help you memorize what you learned, as we just mentioned, but it also improves your focus. Simply put: your brain doesn’t fire on all cylinders when it’s tired.

The billions of neural cells working in our heads, helping us make decisions, process information and focus, are compromised by a lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation, a team of UCLA researchers found, hampers our brain cells’ ability to work together. As one researcher put it, neural cells “responded slowly, fired more weakly and their transmissions dragged on longer than usual” for sleep deprived participants.

Your capacity for learning new information also suffers, with research suggesting you retain 40% less information when sleep deprived.

A lack of sleep hurts your ability to concentrate on the task at hand. To perform your best at work or school, a full night of sleep is critical.

A Good Night’s Sleep Boosts Creativity

Your ability to think outside the box, it turns out, is helped by getting good sleep.

Sleep helps with creativity, but reaching REM sleep is the key.

During non-REM sleep, which takes up about the first 90 minutes of your time sleeping, your brain is still wired to think literally; it’s also taking snapshots of memories and thoughts you had during the day, creating an inventory for your brain.

Later, during REM sleep, is when your brain removes the safety rails and starts to think abstractly. This period is when acetylcholine, a chemical that acts as a messenger between cells, floods the brain. When this happens, the brain starts searching for connections between unrelated ideas it’s already banked. This can lead to that “a-ha!” moment you sometimes have when you wake up after an important thought comes to you while you were asleep.

Research also shows REM sleep helps people perform better at tests that require creative thinking. One study from Harvard University showed participants who completed REM sleep performed about 30% better on anagram word puzzles than when they didn’t get a good night of sleep.

Remember, One thing that can block you from entering REM sleep as fast as possible is blue light, which radiates from your phones and other electronic devices. Staying off your phone an hour before bed will help you fall asleep quicker, but I know that’s easier said than done.

To offset the negative effects of blue light, be sure to check out my specially-designed Sleep Doctor Glasses. These glasses are great for reading on your computer or phone because they block out blue light — helping you get better sleep as a result. They also look pretty cool, too, and come in several different designs.

How You Can Help Your Brain Improve Through Sleep

The verdict is in: Sleep improves your brain in several ways. To enjoy those benefits, though, the first step is making sure you’re getting enough sleep. Be sure to check out my sleep calculator post — it should help you figure out when you need to go to sleep to get the 7.5 hours of sleep you’ll need to properly rest your brain.

And remember, bedroom temperature is critical. If your room is too hot, you’ll likely end up waking up during the night, making it tough to really give your brain the boost it needs from sleep. To keep your bed cool, I’m a big fan of the ChiliPad. It’s a water-based hydronic mattress pad with a temperature range from 55 to 115 degrees Fahrenheit, allowing you to pick the perfect temperature for when you’re dozing off.

A good night’s sleep is just as important for making sure you’re ready for a big day at the office as it is for if you’re preparing to run a 10K. Do yourself — and your brain — a favor and make sleep a priority. That’s all for this week, talk to you soon!

The post Building a Better Brain Through Sleep appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.

from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2020/02/08/building-a-better-brain-through-sleep/

from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2020/02/09/building-a-better-brain-through-sleep/

[kidsviral-blog]

18 Important Things To Know About Being Sleep Deprived

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/18-important-things-to-know-about-being-sleep-deprived/

18 Important Things To Know About Being Sleep Deprived

Including how to get the sweet, sweet ZZZs you need.

1. There are a few different ways to get lousy sleep.

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Good sleep involves duration, timing, and quality, Dr. Charles Czeisler, chairman of the board of the National Sleep Foundation and chief of sleep medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, tells BuzzFeed Life. What this also means is that there are several ways to get crappy sleep that can hurt your health:

1. Getting less than six hours a night for many nights in a row, for instance, means that you’re not sleeping for as long as you need to be healthy.

2. Keeping a really erratic sleep schedule — staying up till 6 a.m. on weekends, but going to sleep at 10 p.m. and getting up at 6 a.m. on weekdays, for example. Having wildly divergent times that you go to bed and wake up can be bad for you.

3. Having your sleep interrupted throughout the night, either through a sleep disorder like sleep apnea, or through outside influences (think pets on the bed, or a TV that never goes off, or a cell phone that’s beeping and booping all night long).

2. When you’re chronically sleep deprived, your brain doesn’t work too well.

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Brian Gordon / Fowl Language Comics / Via fowllanguagecomics.com

When you get consistently bad sleep, your brain suffers. You can experience impaired learning ability, poor judgment, emotional problems, poor motor skills, and more, Dr. Timothy Morgenthaler, president of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and professor of medicine at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, tells BuzzFeed Life. (Many of these things are the same as when you pull an all-nighter).

(Special thanks to Brian Gordon, of Fowl Language Comics!)

3. You don’t even know how sleepy and impaired you actually are.

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NBC / Via awesomelyluvvie.com

“If you talk to people who are chronically underslept, they perceive their sleepiness much less accurately,” Morgenthaler says. “They’re also not able to tell they’re impaired. It’s like having a bit too much alcohol — people who have a few drinks and think they can still drive safely. They’re not able to tell how impaired they are.”

4. Bad sleep makes your appetite go up.

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There are hormones in your body — leptin and grehlin — that help regulate your appetite and your feelings of fullness after you’ve eaten. “With chronic sleep deprivation, the correct ratio of those hormones, and our body’s response to them, gets impaired,” Morgenthaler says. This can cause your appetite to go up, and your ability to tell when you’re satisfied to not work as well.

5. You end up craving high-calorie foods.

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  Research shows that sleep-deprived brains actually respond differently (read: more enthusiastically) to high-calorie foods most likely to cause weight gain.

6. Your metabolism gets all messed up too.

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When you’re underslept, your body stops metabolizing food as efficiently as it can, Morgenthaler says.

7. Chronic sleep deprivation could make you gain weight.

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katsrcool / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: katsrcool

And it’ll definitely make losing weight much harder than it already is. See all the reasons above, for starters. And this article from the New York Times goes into more detail about the research on sleep and weight gain.

8. Your general health suffers enormously.

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MTV / Via giphy.com

In 2006, the Institute of Medicine (U.S.) Committee on Sleep Medicine and Research published a book called Sleep Disorders and Sleep Deprivation: An Unmet Public Health Problem. From their chapter on the health consequences of sleep deprivation:

The cumulative long-term effects of sleep loss and sleep disorders have been associated with a wide range of deleterious health consequences including an increased risk of hypertension, diabetes, obesity, depression, heart attack, and stroke. After decades of research, the case can be confidently made that sleep loss and sleep disorders have profound and widespread effects on human health.

9. If you suffer from sleep apnea, you have a much higher risk of cardiovascular disease and even death.

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Sleep apnea is a sleep disorder where people stop breathing for periods of time while they sleep. It’s a very serious medical condition, and the vast majority of people with sleep apnea are undiagnosed and untreated, Czeisler says. And that’s a huge problem, because research has shown that death rates among people who suffer from sleep apnea are significantly higher than the general population. See what the American Heart Association has to say about sleep apnea.

HERE’S HOW TO GET BETTER SLEEP:

10. Seriously, put away the electronic screens for at least an hour (or more) before you go to bed.

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This includes e-readers, cell phones, and even television screens. Czeisler says that new research has shown that people who read on e-readers at night suppress the release of melatonin (a hormone tied to sleeping) for an hour and a half. They have a harder time falling asleep, and a hell of a time getting up in the morning. And Morgenthaler says that people who keep cell phones in their bedrooms with them get less sleep at night than people who banish cell phones from the bedroom — they spend extra time texting, checking Facebook, playing games, and so on.

11. Ban cell phones and pets from the bedroom altogether.

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That way you won’t get woken up in the middle of the night by a text message OR a dog that’s taking up more than his fair share of bed space.

12. Don’t leave the TV on when you go to bed.

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  Morgenthaler says a surprising number of people do this, and it can cause them to have lower quality sleep during the night. If you can’t sleep without some noise in the background, try a white noise machine or a fan, and train yourself out of the habit.

13. Try to stick to a consistent sleep and eating schedule as much as is possible.

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Go to bed at the same general time every night, and wake up at the same general time every morning. This means less disruption to your circadian clock.

14. Stop drinking caffeine after noon if you have trouble sleeping.

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PrettyCollected / Via etsy.com

Morgenthaler says that if you’re suffering from sleep problems, do some research into what you’re eating and drinking to see if anything in your diet might be contributing to your issues. You might want to experiment with cutting out caffeine altogether, and also alcohol, which can interfere with your sleep quality.

Mug via PrettyCollected on Etsy.

15. Sleep in a dark, cool room.

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LOVARTI / Via etsy.com

Morgenthaler says that room environment can help you fall asleep more easily.

Sleep mask via LOVARTI on Etsy.

16. If you’re a new parent, get whatever sleep you can…and remember that there’s an end in sight.

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Tony Luong / Mimo Baby / Via mimobaby.com

Having a baby at home means you’re probably getting the worst sleep of your life. There are small things you can do to help yourself feel a little better: Nap when the baby naps, for instance. Naps don’t replace good sleep, Czeisler says, but they’re better than not sleeping at all. If you have a partner, do what you can to trade off middle-of-the-night duties (or sleeping in duties), so at least one of you gets a full night of sleep every now and then. Keep to a bedtime routine or schedule as much as is possible, if you can. Don’t overcommit yourself when you’re feeling exhausted — be good to yourself. And see a few other ideas to try out here and here.

You might also want to look into the Mimo Smart Baby Monitor (shown above). It’s a baby kimono that comes with a tracking device that can tell you all sorts of helpful things about your sleeping baby, like whether he’s actually waking up and needs your attention, or if he’s just stirring and you can let him be (and you can keep sleeping).

And if all else fails, just remember: Your kid will sleep through the night one day. Promise.

17. Sleep apnea is treatable — and if you have it, you should absolutely get treated for it.

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Rachel Tayse / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: 11921146@N03

Many people don’t realize they have sleep apnea, Morgenthaler says. Major signs to look out for: loud snoring, occasionally waking up gasping for air, and sleepiness during the day (see more symptoms here). Most people realize they have a problem when their partners tell them that they stopped breathing for a few seconds at night. People who are overweight are also at higher risk for sleep apnea, and drinking alcohol can make symptoms worse, Morgenthaler says.

Pictured above are types of masks that people can wear to treat the condition.

18. If you’ve tried everything to improve your sleep, but nothing seems to be working…you should see a sleep specialist.

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Visit sleepeducation.org, which helps you find sleep centers near you. Or talk to your primary care physician and ask to be referred to a specialist. “If you’re a person who has ongoing troubles sleeping, in spite of having good sleep habits … you really should see a specialist,” Morgenthaler says. “They’re very able to help with these things.”

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/fix-your-sleep-habits