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rowdyluv · 1 month ago

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summary:, in which jack and y/n are closer to leaving for Jersey, it’s their last lake day of the summer, but Luke’s friends bring a group of girls who make it impossibly hard for y/n to enjoy her day.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: underage drinking references, bullying(?), fake girlfriend trope, angst, fluff, use of y/n, pet names (toots), use of real names, use of internal thoughts - y/n’s notated by indention and italics, jack’s indention and bolded - , friends to lover, oblivious pining,

notes: any use of names or likeness of real people or places other than restaurants, arenas / players or player’s friends, family members, old teammates etc, are all completely coincidental

Jack's muscles flexed as he hoisted the last cooler onto the boat, the sound of ice shifting against the plastic echoing in the mid-morning quiet. The sun beaming hot rays down on his bare shoulders as he bent down to put the cooler in the back corner of the boat. Luke followed closely behind, juggling a stash of towels towered on top of a tote of snacks he had probably already laid claims to. He carried the overflowing bundle with perfected ease until he managed to trip over his own feet when stepping on the boat.

Jack’s loud laughter carried over the calm body of water, “It takes talent to trip over nothing moosey.”

Luke tossed his brother a look as he picked up the towels that splayed out across the floor of the boat. “You would know, seeing how you’re supposed to be a top notch NHL player now and you still fall on the ice, when you’ve not even been checked.”

Jack was silent. He didn’t have anything to say in return, his little brother hit a nerve at the mention of ‘supposed to be top notch.’ Quickly he shook it off, kneeling down to help him pick up the snacks that had fallen out of the tote too. It was Jack and Y/n’s last day to spend out on the lake before heading to Jersey for Jack’s preseason training. Jack didn’t want to spend it in a foul mood.

“I’ll be back in a minute, Dukers and the others are here.” Luke carefully stepped off the boat before jogging off the dock, passing Y/n on his way up.

Just the same as any other boat day, she sat on the boat's bench seat at the back next to the captain’s seat. “It’s crazy to think that in two days I’m leaving my mom, my hometown, and moving to an entirely new state.” Y/n suddenly blurted out to Jack. Who was double checking they had all of the life jackets needed.

“You’re not going to back out on me are you?” Jack didn’t turn to face her or look back in her direction. He continued his inspection. He was truly nervous she would have to go another year without someone with him in Jersey.

“No, of course not…after all, all of my stuff is sort of already there in your new apartment..It's just.. Saying goodbye is always hard for me, I'm not exactly great at letting go.” She fell silent and Jack froze in his spot. He was unsure if she had more to say or if she was waiting on him, so he waited silently hoping she’d continue. Because at that moment it sounded like she wasn’t fully convinced herself she was leaving in two days.

A soft breathy laugh was let out and Y/n continued, “But I did kind of make this agreement with you to be in this fake relationship. Don’t you think that would be a bit hard to do with me here and you there?” She played with the ends of her hair from her ponytail, unsure why she would even bring that up today. She didn’t want to think about it until she had to because the anxiety over it was already eating her alive. Yet here she was letting it fall right out into the open. She was terrified of screwing up somehow and having no one believe in the facade the two of them had created.

“Heh.. Yeah, you kind of did..” Jack sounded far away from where she was, distracted almost. He had turned around to face her now, “but that’s also later, it will all be okay. I promise toot.” He offered her a soft smile and took a seat next to her, leaning over into the cooler to grab himself a beer. “Let’s put all that out of our minds until later too, today is just another day. Let’s have fun, yeah?”

Before Y/n could give any form of response shrilling fake laughter and deep voices drew their attention away from one another.

She watched as Luke reappeared with his friends. As each familiar face trickled in, a new female face with a bigger, brighter, faker smile followed. The girls they had brought along were a bit of a surprise, their presence as annoying as they were loud. Y/n felt a knot in her stomach tighten as she saw the way one of the girls, a blonde with a figure that could make even the most stoic of men stumble, was eyeing Jack like a prize catch.

Because he is a prize catch.

Quinn arrived last, his footsteps heavy on the dock as he carried a brand new handle rope for skiing, kneeboarding, and other activities alike. He looked over the crowd and shook his head. He looked over at Y/n, an apologetic smile gracing his lips. She gave him a small one back, feeling a little better knowing he was on the same page she was with their extra visitors, he also was the only one who knows of the girlfriend arrangement aside from the Devils administration, as Jack had confided in him.

Quinn dropped the rope onto the boat and took his spot behind the wheel. “Everything ready?” Quinn asked to no one in particular.

Jack took one last gulp of the beer he had just opened before nodding eagerly. “Yeah, let’s go baby!”

The blonde giggled, her eyes sparkling like the lake's surface under the hot sun. She sidled up to Jack, her hand lingering a beat too long on his arm as she decided to sit right in between them.

The knot in Y/n’s stomach tightened further. She felt like she could be sick from the blatantly obvious come on. Who the hell does this girl think she is?

This is going to be a long day.

Y/n grabbed the red Devils hat that Jack had let carelessly fall onto the boat's floor earlier when he leaned over, feeling the soft fabric against her palms. She placed it firmly on her head, hoping it would serve as an invisible shield against the barrage of flirty glances and suggestive comments from the blonde. Y/n scooted herself as far over to the edge of the bench seat as possible to get away from her. As the boat's engine roared to life, she settled into a comfortable position, pulled out her phone from her backpack, and pretended to be absorbed in scrolling through her ‘X’ feed. The wind picked up speed, whipping her hair into a frenzy around her face as Quinn steered them away from the dock. The periodic spray of lake water was a welcome distraction from the girl's invasive proximity.

Quinn's eyes flicked over to Y/n, noticing the tension in her shoulders. He cranked up the music, the bass thumping in time with the boat's steady rhythm. The noise was a reprieve, allowing her to sink into the music and momentarily forget about the awkward situation. The boat sliced through the water, leaving a frothy trail in its wake. The cool spray on her skin and the smell of gasoline mixed with the smell of the lake created a peculiar serenity that contrasted sharply with the tension in the air.

Jack, catching Quinn's subtle nod in her direction, glanced over at Y/n. Her eyes remained glued to her phone, but he could tell she was far from engaged in whatever she was scrolling through. The blonde had moved on to flirting with Luke's friends, leaving a gap of space between her and Jack that felt like a mile-wide canyon. He leaned over, his hand gently pushing up his cap from her head so he could see her face better. "You okay toots?" he shouted just loud enough over the music for her to hear him.

Her eyes snapped up to meet his, the wind tearing a few longer loose strands from her ponytail to slap against his roody red flushed cheeks. She nodded, giving him a forced smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine," she simply responded back.

Jack didn't look convinced, his brow furrowed slightly. He knew her better than anyone, and the fake cheeriness didn’t sit well on her or with him. He could tell that she was uncomfortable now that he had paid some attention to her, but he wasn’t going to press the issue, instead he leaned back on the bench with a sigh and turned his attention to his older brother engaging him in a conversation about the upcoming season.

The rest of the day unfolded with Y/n retreating further into herself. She stuck to the back of the boat, a norm for her but she was usually involved in conversations or their silly games. But she had seen this play out before, if she got involved in their conversations or games today, one of the girls would find a way to spin a joke off on her. Making it seem innocent, when it truly wouldn’t be.

The atmosphere was electric with excitement, everyone except Y/n seemed to be having the time of their, intoxicated, lives. Jack didn’t seem to notice how reclusive she had become, or if he did he let her be. The blonde, whose name she hadn't caught, had attached herself to Jack like a leech, giggling at every little thing he said, touching him at every opportunity. Y/n felt like she was watching a movie that she had no part in. Her eyes narrowed at the girl’s antics, and she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. This was supposed to be their day, a last hurrah before leaving. Before his season started and their lives got hectic.

“Let’s put all that out of our minds until later too, today is just another day. Let’s have fun, yeah?”

Jack’s words from earlier replayed in her mind at a deafening level.

He doesn’t want me thinking about moving, thinking about the season, thinking about me becoming his fake girlfriend? He wants me to have fun. How am I supposed to have fun when he’s out here ignoring me? Well I mean I did tell him I was fine….and I won’t join the conversation but… He’s my Jack..

As the boat slowed down to a gentle drift she was pulled from her thoughts as Jack yelled out it was time to swim. Y/n’s heart sank as the blonde and her entourage turned their attention from Jack to her. "You coming?" one of the girls asked, her voice dripping with sweetness that didn't quite hide the sarcasm.

Y/n took a deep breath and nodded, slipping into the cool water. The relief of the water's embrace washed over her, but it was short-lived. The other girls followed. Jack and the guys raced one another to see who could swim the fastest to a designated marker. Y/n started to follow them out to their starting point, before deciding it was probably best to retreat to the boat. Being in the water with females who didn’t have her best interest in mind was not a good idea. She turned around to swim back and was met by the girls’ laughter that quickly turned to sneers the moment the boys were out of earshot. They circled her like sharks, their eyes assessing and cold. The blonde was the ringleader, her smirk a challenge as she pushed closer.

"You know, it's pretty sad," one of the girls began, her voice unintentionally carrying further than intended over the water's gentle lapping. "Jack only brought you because he feels bad. You're like a charity case, tagging along because he can't say no."

The blonde giggled, her eyes never leaving Y/n's. "Yeah, it's like bringing your kid sister on a date to a theme park so she doesn't feel left out." The other girls snickered, their words stinging like jellyfish tentacles wrapping around her heart.

"I mean, come on," another girl chimed in, her voice nasal and grating. "You think Jack's into you? If he was, wouldn't he have already made a move for you? Plus, look at yourself and then look at him. Then you have the fact that he’s a pro-athlete, he can have anyone he wants." By this point Y/n had started to swim away. She had taken enough of their antics, clearly they weren’t a fan of her.

They were only wanting to tear her down, but were they right?

The blonde swam after her, her eyes glinting with spiteful amusement. "You think he'd choose you over someone like me?" She called out when she couldn’t catch up.

Y/n swallowed the knot in her throat as she jerked up a towel and wrapped it around her body. Quinn at some point had climbed back aboard, already nearly dry.

“Huggy, i will give you every penny to my name if you leave right now.” She whispered to Quinn joking, but sort of was deeply hoping that he would take her seriously when he saw her face.

Quinn’s eyes widened at the desperation in her voice, his gaze following hers out to the group of girls. “You okay?”

Y/n nodded tightly, her grip on the towel almost painful. “Yeah, I’m just...peachy.” Her voice cracking over the knot she desperately wanted to keep suppressed down.

Jack’s eyes snapped to her at the word 'peachy'. He was climbing up the boat’s ladder as the words fell out of her mouth. It was their word since high school when said that meant they needed the other without having to say it outright.

Of course he had noticed she had been quieter than usual, but she had pushed him away when he had tried to talk to her early on. Jack figured it was just the reminisce of their conversation from before they were interrupted by everyone else. But the desperation in her voice was clear as a bell, even over the sound of music, different chatter, and other boats speeding around.

His few strides towards her were purposeful and quick, his gaze never leaving her. He softly took a hold of her lower arm, gaining her attention, the water droplets glinting off his bare chest.

The snarky blonde looked up at them from the water, her smirk slipping.

"Everything okay?" he asked, his voice low and concerned, only for her.

Y/n's eyes searched his, hers giving him a silent plea to not do this now. She nodded again, her voice barely above a whisper. "Ye-."

“Don’t do it, don’t lie to me, toots. I heard you tell Q you were peachy. C’mon what’s up? What’s going on?” Jack pleaded, pulling her to the bench seat they had previously occupied earlier in the day. He wrapped his arm around her waist, turning her to face him before pulling her into him. He didn’t care about the wandering eyes of the females now boarding the boat, his eyes were on his girl.

She held eye contact with him for a moment before she sighed heavily and dropped her gaze to the towel piece that she had in her hand.

“It’s nothing, just those girls, they’re...they’re just saying things, Jack. It’s fine.”

Jack’s jaw tightened as he studied her, his hand moving to tilt her chin up so he could see her eyes again. “What kind of things?” He could only imagine what Angelika, the blonde, would muster up.

“They think I’m just some pity invite, that you’re only still friends with me because you feel bad or something,” she murmured, her voice thick with the evidence of barely holding back unshed tears.

Jack’s eyes narrowed and his hand holding her chin squeezed slightly. “They don’t know us, toots. They don’t know how long we’ve been friends, or how much we mean to each other. They don’t get to define our friendship, our relationship.” His voice was a soothing rumble. He dropped his hand to her shoulder, his thumb tracing circles on her shoulder attempting to ease the tension in her body.

“Even more, none of them are the ones i asked to be my girlfriend. Ya know?” Jack whispered into her ear.

“You forgot an important detail with that, fake.” Y/n laughed softly.

“Yeah, yeah but just to be safe incase others overhear, i just dropped it.” They were both laughing now.

Jack knew she was still upset, and uneasy. The two of them weren’t set to begin their arrangement until sometime after arriving back in Jersey, but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to and needing to show her off after hearing what all was said. So he grabbed his phone, placed his Red Devils cap back on her head, and snapped a picture of her with the lake behind her, her smile still a bit forced but beautiful regardless. He posted it on his Instagram story with the caption 'My girl looks good in red'. The reaction was instant. His followers went wild, their excitement palpable through the screen. The likes and replies started rolling in, and Y/n couldn’t help but feel a bit more relaxed with every positive notification he received.

The blonde's eyes widened as she saw the post, and her flirty giggles turned into a scowl. It was clear she wasn’t expecting this turn of events.

“Pick out your favorites, then I’ll post them. Everyone will know then, but there will be no mistake. You’re not a pity friend. Never have been, never will be.” Jack nudged the side of her head with a simple harmless kiss to her temple.

Jack handed y/n the phone, scrolling through their photos together, looking for the perfect ones to post. The boat ride from the swimming spot had been filled with laughter and smiles, shared between just them. Y/n’s heart fluttered and she had a permanent smile on her face as she took in how many of their happy moments captured Jack had on his phone from throughout the years. His camera roll was taken up by hockey, her, the two of them, and he and his family, random memes here and there, but mainly it was them. He had her pick out a couple pictures she wanted him to post on his page as they sat cuddled up, her arm around his waist, his hand resting on her shoulder.

It was nothing new to anyone who has been around them before, but infuriating to the girls.

Y/n had picked her pictures, but before she could hand Jack his phone back, she had been lulled to sleep by the soft rock of the boat and the comfort of being with Jack. Quinn noticed she had fallen asleep when Jack’s phone fell to the floor of the boat. Jack carefully moved her to where her head was lying in his lap and Quinn covered her with another towel. Quinn handed Jack his phone and he finished making the post.

“Rowdy, do you think this is going to all work out?” Quinn asks his middle brother just loud enough for him.

“It’s me and y/n, Q.” That’s all Jack had to say before he leaned his head back and closed his eyes for the remainder of the ride.

it’s me and y/n…it has to work out.

note: pictures below are the ones jack posted (all from Pinterest)

his instagram story post

pictures in his actual post

note: hi! read this blurb next!

#cay writes #jack hughes fluff #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes #mini series #nj devils fic #nj devils imagine #nj devils #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes x you #jack hughes angst #jack hughes series #quinn hughes #luke hughes #♡⤷ believe in me

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lambtotheslaughterr · 6 months ago

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Conium Maculatum

A Roman Godfrey Oneshot

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 8.6k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

OONA'S MASTERLIST

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all AI images are created from prompts I wrote. they are not real images.

Summary: Reader has spent her whole life treated like an outsider. All she wants is to live & be treated normally. Unfortunately for her, the only person willing to do just that is Hemlock Grove's notorious rich boy Roman Godfrey.

You felt him before you saw him. He was always watching you. Always curious. A small part of you was amused by his unwavering interest, but for the most part, you wished he would just leave you alone. Like everyone else did. All you wanted was to be treated normally. Not like an outsider.

Hemlock Grove University was nestled deep in the woods on the north side of town. You were drawn to the small, sleepy town because of their public administration program. You wanted to major in public policy with a focus in agriculture, hearing from your Aunt Lynda that the town & surrounding forest were rich with potential farm growth. It was your dream to advocate for more natural sources of farming & agriculture that weren’t run by corporate leaders but people of the rural community. Plus, it helped that you already had family in the area.

Lynda & your cousin, Peter, welcomed you to Hemlock Grove with open arms, allowing you to crash on their couch until you could get your on place to rest your head. Not long after you arrived, Peter moved on, wanting to explore north of Pennsylvania. It was a bittersweet goodbye. You were happy for Peter that he was wanting to venture out on his own but his parting left you with an unsettling feeling.

“People here are not what they seem.” He had told you. At first, you thought it funny, knowing people often said similar things, if not worse things, about you & the people in your community, but Peter wasn’t joking. He warned you to be wary of others, to not be too trustful, & that if you ever felt unsafe to leave the moment you could. You promised him you would. It wouldn’t be the first time you lived somewhere where the locals treated you poorly, but you had never seen Peter concerned like he was. It unnerved you.

But that was six months ago. And though you weren’t entirely welcomed by the townspeople of Hemlock Grove, they at least left you alone. That was except for the 6’4”, slender young man that rested against the lockers opposite of yours. You had your back turned to him but could feel him observing you.

“What do you want, Godfrey?” You questioned without looking over your shoulder at him.

You heard the disbelieving smile in his face, “How do you always know when I’m near?”

“You’re not exactly subtle.” You pointed out but were smiling, nonetheless.

Retrieving your textbooks from your locker, you stuffed them into your bag before shutting your locker & facing the wealthiest boy in town. He eyed you up down, admiring your outfit for the day like he often did. Apparently, you didn’t dress ‘normal’. But you had seen plenty of other women in your life dress the same way. They called it boho, you called it contemporary Roma.

Roman Godfrey was your stereotypical rich boy. You had met, or rather seen, plenty of them in your travels. Yet he was different in one way. He was always alone. He didn’t have a posse following him around like all the rich boys you had seen before nor did he have a different girlfriend every other week. He was always alone all the time. Like you. You thought once before that may have been why he was keen on trying to get to know you: because you were both loners. But something innate told you that that wasn’t the case. So, you kept him at arm’s length.

Resting against the lockers on your side of the hallway, you peered at him with a soft smile, “Did you need to ask me something?”

He always had questions.

“Yes, I do.” He bit his lip through a smile. He pushed himself off the wall to cross the hallway over to you, uncaring about other students trying to pass through. Your eyes never strayed from his startling blue ones. Once he was near you, he leaned his shoulder against the lockers beside you.

“How’s Peter?”

“Doing well, I imagine.” You raised your brows. That isn’t what he really wanted to ask, but Roman had a habit of beating around the bush when it came to you for some reason.

“Oh, right.” He clicked his tongue against his straight teeth, “You Rumancek’s don’t like phones.”

“It’s not that we don’t like them.” You revealed, “They’re just not necessary. If we want to talk to someone, we go see them.”

Roman nodded, likely having heard the same explanation from Peter. It came as a little bit of a surprise to you when you learned that Roman & Peter were friends. Peter had never mentioned his name before he left, but during your first week at the university, Roman wasted no time in making your acquaintance & talking animatedly about Peter & how deeply saddened he was to see him go. The ‘deeply saddened’ part you took with a grain of salt.

“Which is why, I suppose, you’re standing right here.” You added, narrowing your eyes playfully.

“If you had a phone number I wouldn’t have to seek you out, would I?” He played, his voice lowering flirtatiously.

“Something tells me that wouldn’t stop you.”

Roman pursed his lips in knowing at that, “Guess we’ll never know.”

Shaking your head, you pushed off from the lockers, “This conversation has been…lovely. But I gotta go.”

“Let me drive you.” Roman rushed out but tried covering it with a sheepish nonchalant smile.

“Roman…” If you could keep track of how many times he asked to drive you home on one hand, you’d need at least fifty more fingers.

“It’s going to rain.” Roman stepped forward, his arm swinging over your shoulders as he led you to the doors that went outside. You looked up at the sky, noting the dark heavy rainclouds rolling in.

“See? I’m not lying.”

You glanced up at him, “You drive a car with no top. I’ll get soaked anyway.”

His eyes twinkled perversely at that but he still carried his charming smile, “Not if I speed.”

You sighed, staring back out at the sky. It was a long walk back to your caravan in the woods, but you always enjoyed the walk. You never took any roads, rather choosing to walk the two miles or so through the woods. But you did want to get started early on an assignment & the rain would only slow you down.

Swallowing your usual refusal, you licked your lips in trepidation before looking back up at the regrettably handsome young man.

“Okay.”

Roman contained his obvious excitement but still clutched the keys in his hand in a closed fist & raised it momentarily in victory.

“Just this once, Roman.” You warned him, not wanting him to think that it meant anything more.

“Whatever you say.” He grinned, all his teeth showing.

Roman led you outside, his hand on your lower back as he brought you to his hot red two seater. While you knew a car like that was sought after by many, it was only an eyesore to you.

He opened the passenger side door & held your hand gentlemanly as you slipped in. Roman was touchy. You learned that early on in your association with him, but you never minded. To close friends & family, you were rather affectionate, as were they, so physical touch didn’t make you uncomfortable as it likely would any other person. But you did have slight concern in how far Roman would go in touching you if you continued to not say anything.

Roman sped-walk around the vehicle to his side before practically jumping in. The small car jostled under his weight as he started the engine.

“Thank you.” You told him.

“No,” Roman winked at you as he reversed, “thank you.”

Roman pulled off onto a dirt wood somewhere in the woods. Your caravanwas only a minute or so walk down the narrow foot path. Lynda helped you in purchasing one & finding a decent clearing in the woods for you to call home. But what you didn’t miss was how Roman knew exactly where to drive to drop you off.

You pressed your lips together, trying to suppress your smile. What Roman didn’t know was that you knew he would sometimes come out here at night & watch your caravan from somewhere in the woods. As you told him, he wasn’t subtle & you could always sense when he was near. It was worrisome the first couple times it happened. After all, you were a young, single woman living on her own in the middle of the woods, but Roman never made himself known. As far as he know. And he never approached. Only watched. You summed it up to be just his curiosity, & perhaps, if your innate sense was wrong, his longing for another friend like Peter.

Unlatching your belt, you began to get out of the car when suddenly your door was being opened from the other side. You hadn’t even heard Roman get out of the car, let alone race over to your side. You chuckled surprisingly but said nothing. He offered you his hand yet again as you got out. You accepted.

“Let me walk you to your door.” He suggested.

You wanted to refuse, but if there was anything you knew about Roman Godfrey, it was that he was one persistent fellow.

Saying nothing, you began to lead the way. You noted how Roman limited his naturally wide strides, thanks to his long legs, to keep in step with you. He reminded you of a golden retriever: just happy to be there.

After a minute of silently walking, save for a distant bird song here & there, you finally came to the clearing where your caravan lied in wait.

“Wow.” Roman feigned shock at seeing your caravan as if it was the first time, “It’s a nice set-up you got here.”

“Really?” You felt your brows crease as you stared at him with amusement, “Never been here before, is that it?”

“No.” Roman laughed awkwardly, trying to hide the truth, “I have no reason to come out here.”

You nodded at him, making it clear that you didn’t believe him but said nothing. He ultimately dropped the façade, looking at you in disbelief, “How’d you know?”

“Your cologne.” You pointed at his chest, “It’s pungent. Doesn’t mix well with the natural, earthy smells out here.”

“Bullfuckingshit.” He retorted but appeared mildly impressed, “What are you, a sniffer dog? How the hell can you smell that out here?”

You giggled softly, shaking your head, “A gift, I guess.”

“You got a lot of gifts.” Roman commented, “You always know when I’m near before I’m even there, now you can smell in the middle of the woods.”

“Mm.” You agreed. Turning your back on him, you were assuming he would know that was your good-bye & allow you to disappear into your little abode but the sound of your name on his tongue proved otherwise.

“Yes, Roman?”

“Are you, uh, doing anything tonight?” He asked, blinking rapidly. You watched as he reached into the inside pocket of his gray overcoat, pulling out a pack of smokes.

“Some schoolwork.” You frowned, watching as he produced a cigarette & placed it between his lips. “Please don’t smoke that.”

Roman paused, looking confused for a second before realizing you were referring to his cigarette.

“The smell.” You made a dissatisfied face, “Your cologne I tolerate. That, I won’t. If you don’t mind.”

Roman removed the cigarette from his mouth, putting it back in its pack, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You mustered a smile, “Anyway. Goodbye, Roman. Thank you, again.”

“Wait, about tonight?” He rushed out, taking a step forward. You paused just before your door.

“I’m studying.” You reminded him, not necessarily needing to hear whatever offer he had in mind next.

“You won’t have to go far.” He raised his hands, gesturing the trees around him.

“What is it?”

He smiled at your polite response, “A party. Here. In the woods. Happens every year. It’s the spring equinox party or whatever they call it. All I know is that it always happens on the full moon.”

You nodded in knowing, “A Worm Moon, yes.”

“A what?” He chuckled but was entirely lost on what you had just sun.

“A Worm Moon. It’s what the full moon in the month of March is called. In spiritual terms, it means growth.”

“Oh, cool.” Roman smirked before moving on, “I was thinking about going, maybe, ya know, I don’t really mingle with the locals.”

“You are a local.” You pointed out.

“You know what I mean.” He dismissed sheepishly, “But I thought it’d be weird going by myself, so…I thought maybe.”

“I’d go with you.” You finished for him. Roman bared his teeth in hope, “What do you think?”

“I think you don’t like being told ‘no’.” You responded coolly but kindly.

“I don’t, yeah.” Roman shook his head but laughed lightly.

“Hmm.” You nodded in thought. He was being…cute. And you hated admitting that, even if it was only to yourself. Roman had a little crush on you, that much had always been obvious, but he was really trying right now. More so, he was trying to be cool about. Not like ‘rich-guy-I’m-so-cool’ cool but a seemingly innocent ‘if-she-says-no-I-just-might-cry-so-I-gotta-be-cool-about-it’ cool. It was endearing.

“Please.” His voice faltered, “Say yes.”

Pursing your lips, you finally nodded once, “Yes, Roman, I will go to the spring equinox with you.”

Much as he did earlier when you accepted his ride, Roman raised both of his fists in victory. But he quickly tried to hide his knee-jerk response by shaking it off, “Great, cool, great.”

“You said that already.” You teased.

“Yeah.” He shrugged but his smile was as wide as it could possibly go, “Okay. Well, guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t help but smile back. He really was like a golden retriever.

Roman kissed both his hands before blowing waving them towards you, “You won’t regret it.”

You said nothing but waved as he walked away back down the footpath. Once he was out of sight, you sighed heavily, resting your head against the door to your abode. Butterflies flapped their wings wildly within your gut. You squeezed your eyes shut, an undeniable smile ripping across your face.

So, that’s what that felt like.

There was no mirror placed anywhere within the small confines of your caravan. So, you could only guess you were dressed enough for a party in the woods. It wasn’t that you seriously cared about how you looked but you still had that desire to just be normal. It would be enough that people at the party would likely whisper about you when they saw you, the least you could do to ease your worries was to keep it tame tonight. Whatever that meant.

You were about finished with getting ready when you paused in what you were doing. You sniffed the air. Cologne.

Roman.

And just as you thought his name, your caravan shook with the rapt knocking of his arrival.

Releasing a breath of air, you approached your door & swung it open, revealing the tall man on the other side. Even standing on the flat earth outside your caravan & he was still taller than you. It was funny.

“Wow.” He breathed out, his eyes twinkling as he took you in, “You look…”

“Normal?”

Roman’s eyes flashed to yours, “No. Better. You look like a woodland creature.”

You couldn’t help the bewildered giggle you released, “Whatever that means.”

Turning away from him, you looked for your jacket to throw on. After all, it was only March & the night would only get chillier. After slipping into the sleeves of it, you turned back around to find Roman leaning on the frame of your doorway to peer inside.

“It’s a lot bigger in here than it looks.” He observed before meeting your eyes, “Think it’d fit in here, too?”

His mischievous tone caused you to narrow your eyes playfully at him, “We’ll never know.”

Exiting your caravan, Roman backed up to give you space but again found your fingers as you took the single step down from the wooden platform below your door. You shut the door & faced him, slowly pulling your fingers from his.

“I figured we could walk. Since it’s close.” Roman suggested. You nodded in response. A night walk in the woods was one of your favorite past times.

He led the way through the woods & you found comfort in the silence between the two of you. As the two of you walked, enjoying the sound of cicadas trilling, you felt a warm near your pinkie finger. You glanced down, spotting Roman’s hand as his own pinkie intentionally grazed your own.

“If you’re going to hold my hand, Roman, then hold it.”

You watched in the corner of your eyes as he looked down to smile at you. Then you felt his hand hesitantly tangle his fingers with your own. It felt nice. Natural. What made it better was that he was being gentle about it. Roman only continued to surprise you. Though you still had your mild reservations about him, he had yet to truly do anything earn your suspicions. For now, you welcomed the warmth his hand brought to yours.

After about ten minutes or so is when you began to hear the sounds of a party happening. There was music playing & raucous laughter. You felt as Roman’s hand stiffened in your own. You frowned at the action.

“Are you okay?” You questioned, peering up at him.

“Mhmm.” He forced a smile, & it was a closed lipped one which was the biggest give-away that he was lying.

As you two grew closer to the sounds, Roman slowed down. It was a very subtle change in speed but you still noticed it. You stopped to stand in front of him. But he didn’t look at you, his eyes were cast over your head as he stared at the party nearby. You followed his line of sight, noticing how there were quite a lot of people. They were all drinking, running around, just having fun & enjoying their night.

But you understood Roman’s hesitation. He was an outsider, too. Those people, locals, didn’t entirely welcome the anomalies of society. Facing back towards Roman, you gently ran your fingers on the underside of his wrist in comfort. It was something your mother always did for you when you had bad dreams as a child.

“Hey.”

Roman’s wide stare shifted from the party behind you to your face.

“We’ll be okay.” You assured him.

“Yeah, I know.” Roman shrugged, his obvious anxiety suddenly disappearing.

You smiled up at him, “You don’t have to hide it from me.”

“Hide what?” Roman feigned ignorance. But when you kept your stable stare on his wavering one, he finally dropped the mask, “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.” You tugged on his hand, moving him with you towards the party, “Thanks for getting me out of my neck of the woods.”

Roman smiled innocently at that.

Approaching the party, Roman & you entered the clearing side by side. Most everyone was too busy in their own doings that they didn’t notice either of you. You bit your lip, relieved for both your sakes.

Beside you, Roman released a breath of air, also noticing that no one really cared or, if they did, they didn’t make it obvious.

“See?” You bumped your arm into his, “Totally okay.”

Roman & you found a few chests near a couple tables that had a plethora of drinks on ice. He pulled out a can of beer for himself before offering you one. You accepted before giving it a taste. It wasn’t often that you drank, you had no real reason to, but tonight was a special occasion. However, you didn’t miss the bitter taste of it.

Roman noticed the look of disgust you made, trying to hide his amusement. You stared wide-eyed at him, “What?”

“Nothing. I just sometimes forget how pure you are.”

“Pure?” You laughed awkwardly. Strange word choice.

“You know what I mean. You’re not…fucking tarnished by modern day society.”

“Sure, I am.” You disagreed before peering up at him coyly, “I rode in that eyesore you call a car today.”

Roman’s mouth hung open in shock, “You did not just say that about my baby?”

A giggle escaped you at his reaction.

The night continued on quite like that for some time. You & Roman found a couple spots next to a small bonfire, nursing your second & third beers. You watched as the people around you laughed, loved, & lived, happy to just be there to witness it. In the midst of people watching, Roman had at some point placed his hand on your thigh, his fingers long enough to wrap around to the inside of it. It surprised you at first, worried he was going to try to move it close to your private area, but he kept it right where he put it & never moved it. Not even an inch. So, you forgot about it soon enough.

And then, whether it was the alcohol or just your natural desire to be physically affectionate, you rested your head on Roman’s shoulder. You felt as he inhaled deeply at that, & it made you hide your smile behind your can of beer. The moment was comforting, peaceful, & most importantly, real. It wasn’t forced on your part or an attempt to touch you inappropriately on Roman’s part. It was a genuine connection you were forming with him.

But the moment was ruined, disastrously so.

“Look, man.” A voice snickered opposite the fire from where you two sat, “Those two freaks came here together.

It would have been too good to be true really believing you & Roman could attend a normal social event without being pointed out. You felt as Roman stiffened beside you, having heard the jab as well.

You raised your head, finding the two guys who were shamelessly looking at the two of you as they laughed to each other. You sighed but didn’t let it bother you. It was nothing new. Roman, on the other hand, was clearly more effected by it than you were.

“Bet they have some of the freakiest sex you can think of.” The other one sneered.

Oh, boy.

Before you could restrain Roman, he shot upwards, his height assisting him as he stared challengingly at the two guys across from you.

“Roman.” You said his name firmly but he wasn’t listening.

The two noticed his stance & laughed at him more, one of them hollering, “Oh, what are you gonna do, mama’s boy?”

“I can bury you alive if you’d like, you stupid fucks.” Roman spit.

You rose then, your hands gripping one of his wrists to try & calm him down. But the two only spurred him on.

“Yeah? You & that witch there gonna cast a spell on us?” They both feigned fear, “Please, no, don’t. Our mom’s will actually miss us.”

“Roman.” You tried to get in front of him, in his line of sight despite him being much taller than you.

“Fuck you, man.” Roman snarled.

“Nah, thanks, we’re good.” They laughed childishly.

“Can you guys just shut up?” You finally snapped, spinning around to face them. They stared at you wide-eyed, in mild shock & amusement at your reaction.

“She talks!” One slapped the other.

You rolled your eyes, turning back to face Roman, “Ignore them. They’re just being assholes.”

“Hey, Godfrey. If she talks then you probably no what she sounds like in bed, huh? Does she chant before she cums?”

Before you could realize what was happening, Roman knocked you to the side, launching himself over the bonfire, before he latched one of his hands onto the throat of the kid who made the perverse comment.

“Hey, man, let him go!” The other yelled, trying to rip Roman off his friend.

You crawled back onto your feet, racing over to the rapidly growing violent interaction.

Roman had the kid pressed against one of the trees, his thumb digging into the larynx of his throat to keep him from breathing. The kid tried shoving Roman off, but it was clear that he was no match for the gentle giant.

“Roman!” You yelled, but he wasn’t hearing you.

He had his deadly sights set solely on the kid before him, “You owe her an apology.”

The kid struggled in his grasp, desperately opening his mouth to try & get oxygen but he would receive none as long as Roman had him in the death grip.

“We’re sorry! Fucking let go! You’re killing him!”

Everyone at the party at that point was focused entirely on Roman & the immature child on the other end of his end.

“Roman.” You placed your hand on the hand that was holding the kid by the throat.

It was only then that Roman’s eyes finally fell to yours.

“That’s enough.” You told him, shaking your head, “Let him go.”

He frowned at you, his eyes a mixture between rage & hurt.

“Please.”

At your plead, Roman finally softened, his hold on the kid loosening. The kid dropped to his butt, choking as air filled his lungs. You gently pushed Roman away from the area, needing to get him as far away as possible.

“You fucking freaks!” A voice yelled behind the two of you.

You ignored the slowly gathering voices of anger & name-calling as you led Roman back into the safety of the woods. Once you were a far enough distance, you paused to let Roman lean against a tree. He was staring wide-eyed at the ground, as if he was in a trance. You released a breath of air you hadn’t realized you had been holding as you watched him in concern. But it wasn’t of any concern for him.

“I’m sorry.” He finally breathed out, his voice soft, “I’m sorry, _____.”

You stood there with your arms crossed over your chest, staring at indignantly.

When he finally looked at you, & took in your hostile stance, he moved towards you with his hands outstretched, but you took a step back from him, shaking your head, “Don’t touch me.”

He blinked rapidly, a forlorn frown crossing his features, “I said I’m sorry.”

But you only continued shaking your head, “I knew to be wary of you.”

Roman huffed, biting his lip in frustration, “Why? Because I defended you?”

“Defending me would’ve been ignoring them & walking away from it. Not nearly killing him.” You kept your voice firm, never having been someone to yell.

Roman rolled his eyes but continued staring at you solemnly, “They were degrading you. I couldn’t not say anything.”

“There’s so much anger in you.” You commented saddeningly, “I could always see it but I never knew how deeply rooted it was in you. Now, I’ve seen it firsthand.”

He licked his lips, that anger you had seen back there returning to his eyes, “So, what? That’s it? I’m not good enough for you anymore.”

“That’s never what this was about.” You whispered, “The only person you’re not good enough for…is you.”

Roman softened at that, but his eyes watered. Your words were hurting him, that much you knew, but he needed to hear them. You cared about him enough to tell him the truth. You imagined there weren’t a lot of people in his life who were honest with him.

“The fuck does that mean?” He questioned, staring at you with his jaw jutted out as he tried to keep himself from losing it again.

“No one will ever accept you.” You told him, “Not them anyway.” You nodded back towards the party, “But I do, or did. But you want more than that. You want everyone to accept you.”

“What’s so fuckin’ wrong with that?” He spit harshly.

“Nothing.” You admitted, “But how do you expect them to accept you if you don’t accept yourself?”

You could tell that what you were saying was being absorbed by him. And it hurt your heart to see him hurting. But it was the truth. He needed to accept himself.

“I’m going home.” You told him, “Don’t follow me. Don’t hang around outside anymore. I need my space.”

“What?” He asked, his emotions highly charged, “You’re cutting me out?”

“For now.” You frowned at him, “And when I’m ready, if I’m ready, I will come to you.”

You could tell he wanted to say more but you turned your back on him. Tugging your jacket closer around your middle, you found your way in the darkness. You felt saddened that Roman couldn’t walk your path with you, but he needed to learn to walk his own.

It had been a week since you last saw Roman. And, to your surprise, he kept to your rules. You never sensed him around while at school, never smelled his cologne when at home. He was giving your space as you asked for. Part of you missed him, missed his always lingering presence & mischievous remarks, but you were still upset with him. You needed time to gather your own thoughts & feelings before you approached him.

When you did finally decide that you were ready to speak with him it was on a Saturday. You got dressed for the day, wanting to wear something light & airy for your walk through the woods. Roman’s estate was on the other side of the university, which meant a lengthy walk for you. But you were looking forward to it. It only meant that you would have more time alone with your thoughts as you trekked the three miles to his mansion & being in the midst of mother nature always helped keep you calm & in-tune with your feelings.

It was early afternoon when you finally made it to the Godfrey estate. Your boots scrunched as they carried you across the expansive front lawn that felt almost larger than any national part in the country. You peered up at the gothic style mansion as it loomed over you. There were no cars in sight, not even Roman’s. Perhaps he wouldn’t even be home. But you still wanted to try.

Knocking on the front door, you stood there for some time, gathering that no one was home, but just as you were considering leaving, the door opened with a groan, revealing an elder man in a suit.

“Yes?”

“Hi.” You smiled kindly, “Is Roman home?”

The man eyed you curiously, “And who, may I ask, is asking?”

“_____.” You told him, “A friend.”

“I’m afraid Mr. Godfrey is out at the moment. If you would like, you may wait in the den here for him to return, though I can’t tell when exactly that’ll be.”

“Oh. Okay.” It was only the afternoon. You had no obligations to make, & you did just walk three miles. A break would be okay. And if he wasn’t back by the time you thought it appropriate to leave, you would try again tomorrow.

“Thank you, I’d like that very much.”

The man nodded once before opening the door wider. You stepped inside & were reminded about just how simply you lived. You had never lived anywhere that had more than just a couple hundred square feet to it. You couldn’t even imagine living somewhere like this.

“This way, Miss.” He guided you with his arm to a set of double doors off the foyer.

Once opening them, he gestured for you to take a seat on one of the couches, “My name is Conway. If you have any questions, please, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“Thank you, Conway.” You smiled up at him.

“Before I leave, could I interest you in something to drink?”

“Oh, no, I’m okay, thank you.”

Conway nodded once before exiting the room, closing the doors behind him. The room was silent, save for the ticking of a grandfather clock in the corner. You sat still, taking in the room around you. It was beautiful, you had admit, what with the high ceiling & intricately detailed molding along the walls. You stared at the heavy looking desk, imagining Roman sitting behind it as he nursed a glass of scotch. You were unsure if that was anything he actually did, but you could see it.

After a bit longer & with no sign of Roman, you decided to take a closer look. Trailing the length of the room, you eventually found yourself at the desk, overlooking the put-together items atop it. One item stuck out, though. You fingers the frame of the picture, recognizing only one of the faces in the family portrait. Roman was younger in the photo, not much younger than he was now, but still young. He stood behind a regal woman who sat before him, her hair long & dark. She had his same piercing eyes, though hers were dark. And on either side of her were two young girls. One with blonde hair who smiled sweetly, & the other with dark hair who kept her face hidden from the viewer.

You were lost in thought, not knowing Roman had sisters as he never spoke about them, when you heard the front door to the mansion swing open followed by a resounding slam.

“Conway!” It was unmistakably Roman’s voice.

“Mr. Godfrey.” You heard Conway’s softer, more polite one through the wall. “You have a visitor.”

A pause, then “A visitor?”

“Yes, a Miss. _____.”

It was less than a second later when the doors to the den burst open & Roman stood in the doorway, searching the room for you. When his eyes finally landed on yours, his eyes softened.

“Roman.” You greeted. But he said nothing. He closed the doors behind him before quickly moving towards you. You didn’t have time to think or react before Roman had you gathered in his arms, hugging you close to his chest.

You gasped softly at the unexpected bout of affection, but couldn’t be surprised at the same time that that was how he greeted you after respecting your boundaries for a week.

“I missed you.” He breathed softly, his breath brushing the hairs at the top of your head.

Your heart softened at that, leading you to wrap your own arms around him. It was incredible to you how in such a short amount of time, Roman had become someone you cared deeply about. At first he had been amusing to you, if only slightly annoying, but his persistence to become closer to you eventually won you over.

He held on to you for some time, acting as if he was fearful of letting you go, that he would never hold you again, but you ran your hands up & down his back in reassurance. You weren’t going anywhere. Not unless he gave you another reason to.

When he finally pulled away, he stared openly at your face, as if remembering every detail of it to lock & store away in the deepest recesses of his mind.

“I’ve missed you, too.” You revealed. And you had. You weren’t lying. Couldn’t, honestly, even if you wanted to. You were raised to always be transparent.

Your admittance sparked that charming smile he usually adorned to cross his handsome European features.

“Come with me.” He exclaimed like a child excited to open a long-awaited gift.

Unable to resist his childlike enthusiasm, you allowed him to lead you out of the den & through the many halls & rooms of the estate. You had no time to admire or inspect the details of the rooms before he led you to a set of glass doors. You peered up at him wondrously. He grinned down at you before pulling open both doors & gently pushing you inside.

An amazed gasp parted your lips at the sight before you. Roman had brought you the estate’s greenhouse, & it was thriving with life. You stepped forward, running your fingers along the many different textures of plants & flowers, inhaling deeply the earthy, floral scent of the space. It was humid, as well, making you grateful you wore light clothing, but it too made you feel grounded.

You glanced back at Roman, an elated smile on your face. He returned it, his eyes twinkling brightly.

“It’s beautiful.” You commented.

“It is.” But his eyes remained on you. You looked away. Roman Godfrey, the only person in existence who made you look away in embarrassment.

“I’m glad you’re here.” He shared, walking further into the space, “I have something for you. Been wanting to give it to you ever since last week but you wanted your space so.”

“Thank you, Roman.” You caught his eyes, “For doing that. It really meant a lot.”

He nodded once, smiling softly.

Turning away from you he leant over a table, his hands tangling among plants & flowers alike in search of something. You tried to peer around him, curious about what it was he was doing, but his large frame made it nearly impossible. And then he turned around. In his hands, he held the stems of many small, delicate white flowers, smaller than the palm of your hand.

“It’s—”

“Hemlock.” You finished for him, staring at the beautiful, yet deadly, plant with admiration.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, grinning. “I remember you telling me about what the Worm Moon meant & I got to thinking about how all sorts of things could mean lots of things, things normal folk probably don’t even think about.”

He handed you the hemlock & you accepted it gratefully as he continued, “So, I was doing a lot of reading one night, just reading about plants & whatnot & their meanings & I came across hemlock. I was especially curious about it’s meaning, ya know, considering the town we live in, & I learned that it means, actually, a lot of bad things, I guess you’d say. Stuff like poison, gloom, sorrow. But you know what I learned?”

You knew what but you wanted to hear it from him, smiling up at him as he stared gleefully down at you, “Resilience. Potential.”

You felt the butterflies return to your insides, fluttering around madly in there.

“You were right.” Roman began, his hands cupping yours as you held the hemlock, “I don’t accept who I am. And the people of this town don’t either. Likely never will.” He chuckled lightly before continuing, “I’ve been ridiculed by them my whole life & I let it shape who I am. I let it control me rather than control it myself. But I’ve also survived this long. And…I believe I can be better, do better.”

His eyes gazed adoringly into your own, “I have potential, _____. And you helped me see that.”

“I know.” You cupped his cheek lovingly, “I’ve always seen it. It’s always been there.”

You stared at each other for a moment longer before Roman finally leaned in, his lips capturing yours. You sighed into the kiss, feeling your body relax into his touch. So natural. So right.

He kissed you for a moment longer, deepening it by cradling the back of your head. You opened yourself up to him, allowing him to feel you, mind & soul.

Then he parted from you, his forehead resting against your own. You laughed lightly & he joined you. Your sweet, soft laughter filling the space.

“Have dinner with me.” It wasn’t a question. And it didn’t need to be.

Dinner was fulfilling. You were filled with good food & good energy. Roman held your hand atop the table the whole time as you ate & drank a few glasses of wine. The wine was far better than the beer you had a week ago. The night was coming to a close though, & you were sad that you would have to leave soon.

Conway began clearing away your plates as Roman led you from the dining room & into the main corridor. You expected him to lead you to the door, but were surprised when he began leading you up the extravagant staircase.

“Where are we going?” You asked, his hand gently guiding yours.

“One more thing before you leave.” He smirked down at you.

At the top of the landing, Roman led you down another corridor with many doors. You wondered how anyone could need so many rooms & what all they were for exactly. But your curiosity was redirected when Roman brought you to a door near the end of the hallway. He opened it & led you inside.

You stared in mild awe at the size of the bedroom. And that’s all it was. A bedroom. Roman raised his arm in a grand gesture as you took in the floor-to-ceiling windows & the detailing on the ceiling. It was like a museum. Filled with beautiful, crafted pieces of furniture & the finest fabrics around the world.

“What do you think?” Roman asked, smiling in anticipation.

You marveled the room before returning his smile, “Beautiful. Again.”

“I’m glad you think so.” He bit his lip, “Because it’s yours.”

That made you stumble where you stood. You eyed him warily, waiting for him to say he was joking & that it was, in fact, his room. But nothing of the sort ever came.

“What do you mean?”

Roman gestured to the room again, “It’s your room. Now that we’re a couple, you can stay here. I mean, most nights you’ll probably be with me in my bed,” he chuckled at that, “but ya know, for when you want your own space.”

Words evaded you. It was dizzying, everything Roman said. He was moving fast, too fast for your mind to keep up.

“Roman, that’s not…” You frowned, shaking your head.

He approached you then, gripping your hands in his, “What, what is it?”

You gazed up at him forlornly, “I don’t need a room here—”

“Well, that’s okay, you can just stay in my room then, I just thought that you—”

“No, no, Roman, listen to me.” You stopped him, tightening your hold on his fingers, “I won’t be here that often. And we haven’t even discussed being a couple, I’m not even sure what that means exactly. Look, you’re moving fast. Really fast. Too fast for me. We just made up. And I feel I’m still getting to know you. I don’t, I don’t feel it’s necessary to rush.”

“But… I love you.” He stared at you, his voice soft & low.

Those words caused conflicted feelings with you. Love was a strong word. A big word. Not a word to be tossed around so easily. He was getting in over his head, again, & you needed to bring him back down.

“You don’t love me.” You retorted as gently as you could, “You hardly know me.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel.” His voice hardened suddenly, along with his eyes as his expression shifted to the one reminiscent of the night he got into that fight.

“Emotions are high, okay? We don’t have to talk about this right now.”

“Yes, we do!” He raised his voice, “I love you, _____, & you’re… I don’t know what you’re trying to say but all I hear is you not saying it back.”

“Okay…” You responded calmly. You attempted to pull your hands from his but as you did he held them tighter. Your eyes flashed to his, “Roman, let me go.”

“No.” Roman’s lips quivered, his nostrils twitching, “You’re staying.”

He tugged you closer to him. You felt your body stiffen in response, your fight or flight kicking in.

“Roman, stop this, now.” You struggled against his hold but he was much too strong for you.

“Why are you trying to leave? Why are you always trying to get away from me?” His voice shook with that same rage you heard that night.

“I’m not, Roman, stop! You’re starting to hurt me.” You gritted your teeth as you felt the bones in your fingers begin to grind against one another in his death group.

“Hurt you?” He asked blasphemously, “What about me?! You’re hurting me!”

“I’m not meaning to!” You cried out as he crushed your hands against his chest.

“But you are.” His voice softened as he gazed down at you, “No more. No more hurting. I just want to change. And you’re the only one who can help me with that.”

“And I will, but first you have to let me go.”

Roman erupted with a roar as he yanked you forward before you fell to the floor. You managed to catch yourself on your hands but weren’t quick enough to get back on your feet before Roman was on top of you, crushing your front against the hardwood.

“Roman, stop!” You pleaded with him but your words fell on deaf ears.

He then kicked your legs apart, forcing one of them to bend upwards as he made room for himself between your legs.

“I told you!” He yelled, one of his hands on the center of your back, forcing you stay down, “You’re staying!”

“No, Roman!” Panic gripped your heart & yanked when you felt him gather the hem of your dress & bunch it around your waist.

This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening! This was Roman! Soft-hearted, charming, & always making the butterflies in your stomach flutter. But they weren’t fluttering anymore. There were snakes in there now, & they were sinking their teeth in.

You heard the clinking of his belt buckle as he fought to get his pants undone.

Had you really misjudged his character? You knew he was strange, different, much like you, but you viewed those qualities as endearing. But the signs were all there. The following you around school, staking out in the woods at night as you milled about in your caravan, buttering you up with sweet words that anyone would fall for. Even his touches were gentle.

You felt a prodding at your entrance, suddenly regretting your choice to never wear underwear, having found bras & underwear a pointless form of clothing. But even if you had, Roman would have surely torn the fabric to pieces.

Roman wrapped an arm below your chest so he could capture your throat in his hand, stabilizing your struggling movement as he forced himself inside you.

A pained yelp filled the room as he stretched you beyond comprehension. You had never been intimate with anyone before, taking the idea of having sex for the first time as a serious choice. You wanted to wait until you found someone who it felt natural being with, who you could be yourself with. And up until five minutes ago, Roman was looking to be that person.

But not anymore as he took it by force, causing the most horrid cries to erupt from you.

“I never wanted to hurt you.” He grunted in your ear as his thrusts tore you apart, “Never. I only wanted to make you feel how you make me feel.”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, the burning of his assault spreading throughout your whole body. Never before had you felt more violated. Humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed, yes, but always from strangers who didn’t know any better or were too ignorant to care. But nothing ever like this. Not from someone who you felt genuine, real feelings toward.

And he was ruining everything.

His moans of pleasure were grating to your ears, a mockery of all the feelings & sensations you were forced to endure. His hold on your throat tightened, your air becoming restricted. You cried out but it was hoarse. You remembered the sounds the kid from last week had made as Roman held him against a tree, & wondered if he was as fearful for his life as you were in that moment.

“Ro—” You attempted to say his name but the lack of air only made it come out as a wheeze.

He continued to assault you, using your body as a means to show to prove to you his own twisted devotion. You felt him everywhere. His hands on your throat & hip, his chest flushed to your back, his thighs pressed harshly against your own. There was nowhere he wasn’t touching you, wasn’t hurting you in some way.

And even when it was over, when he grunted satisfyingly as he stilled above you, he was still hurting you. You knew, deep down, that the pain he caused you that day would never leave you.

When he rolled off you finally, having remained there for some time as you both caught your breath, you felt little comfort. Your world had crashed around you & were lying there in the ruins of it. But you needed to get up. You needed to get as far away from Roman as possible.

You winced quietly as you pushed yourself upwards, your arms shaking beneath you as you did. The pain Roman caused shot through you as you bent your legs, forcing a hiss to form between your teeth. The sound made Roman look in your direction.

He quickly moved towards you, his hand outstretched in concern but as he drew closer you slapped him. Hard. His face whipped to side, your handprint leaving a bright red mark on his cheek.

“Don’t touch me.”

It seemed as if, only then, it dawned on him what had just happened. He remained on his knees as he stared through you, his eyes watering & shaking, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”

His apology meant nothing. Today was the last time you ever looked past his dangerous behavior.

Pushing yourself to your feet, you felt hot liquid ooze down your thighs due to the force of gravity. You didn’t need to look down to know what you would see.

Steeling yourself, you readjusted your dress until it covered your thighs, hiding the evidence of what Roman had done. Swallowing the dinner that threatened to come up, you limped away from Roman.

“_____.” He spoke after you, his voice wavering as he cried silently, “Please don’t leave.”

Ignoring his plea, you exited the room, leaning on the wall for support as you made your way to the stairs. Half-way down the stairs, you heard Roman behind you.

“I’m sorry!” He practically yelled, begging you to stay, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Pausing on the stairs, you turned to face him one last time. You glared hotly at him, fresh tears blurring your vision, “Yes. You did.”

Your claim forced Roman’s own tears to spill down his cheeks.

Turning away from him with finality, you hobbled the rest of the way down. Conway appeared out of nowhere, eyeing you as one normally would until he realized your state.

“Miss?” The concern in his voice almost made you cry again, but you surpassed him, helping yourself to the front door.

“Mr. Godfrey, what happened?” Conway’s voice faded as you left the estate, the door left open behind you.

Gripping your abdomen, you willed yourself to make it all the way. You had to. After all, walking through the trees always brought you peace & that’s what you needed most off, even if your blood seeped from between your thighs & coated the earth.

But as you did, Peter’s parting words rang loud in your ears.

People here are not what they seem.

this is 5/10 requests from my 500 followers celebration request opening!

i am so so so so so so SO happy with this oneshot/request. i fucking LOVE roman & writing for him has been a dream come true. (also, the amount of times i accidentally types rafe instead of roman while writing this was ridiculous so if you spot any sneaky rafe's that i missed, please let me know lmao)

big shout out thank you to the anon who requested. anon, i hope you loved it as much as i did writing it, PLEASE be sure to let me know what you think.

as always, please drop a comment, reblog w reviews, or talk to me in the ask box so i can read your thoughts/feelings. they are my drug.

thank you for reading!

oona<3

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist:

to be added to a taglist read rule 11 here. requests will be dismissed otherwise.

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #dark!roman godfrey x reader #roman godfrey fanfiction #dark!roman godfrey #hemlock grove #hemlock grove fanfiction #dark!hemlock grove #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #non con fic #conium maculatum

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