#crazy shit being cattonquick

[wormswurld]

☹️

[coldblooded-angel]

HOW IS THE CATTONQUICK ROCKSTAR AU??? GOING? PLEASE ELABORATE MORE ON THE BRAIN ROT

OH IM SO SORRY FRIEND 😭😭 its currently on hold cuz I’m writing monster hunter! felix au (and godamn the au list is LENGTHY) BUT I CAN GIVE MORE BRAINROT MMMHMM

Oliver comes from a conservative traditional family and hes their “black sheep” but only in secret cuz im placing this au in the 80s wheb rock n roll was THE DEVILS MUSIC

He escapes out the window and dresses in the sluttiest leather fits and mesh he can find. He mostly gets inspo from the other girl groupies, the ones that get pulled backstage

Also hes got secret piercings (on his nipples) definitely and a tramp stamp (think trashy im ur baby type shit)

He is just as obsessive so he has to sometimes hide from security cuz he has been caught a few times sneaking into the tour van/bus and their hotel rooms

He’s got the most disgusting collection of Felix things. Im talking cigarette butts, gum, condoms, guitar picks, underwear, a sweet towel. Mfer has drunk that mans backwash out of a bottle he is nasty 🫶

He also deals drugs (it’s how he gets close enough to Ven and Farls) uses it to steal hotel cards or to snoop of their phones for shit about Felix

He sends the most. Freaky. Graphic. Disturbing fan mails and i mean CRAZY SHIT the usual delusions of him being Felix’s soulmate and how Felix will fall for him and then also lists down all of his own qualities that Felix would love. Drops a couple of nude polas so Felix knows what he’s working with and a splash of his cologne (which is the compliment to the one Felix wears cuz duh of course he knows that)

Oliver is delusional as fuck he will physically fight any bitch that says she is Felix’s wife cuz um no hoe THAT IS ME. And he has also definitely been kicked out of venues for these fights

He box bleaches his hair blonde like crispy fry cuz Felix daid in an interview that his ideal type is blue eyes and blonde hair. Oliver’s mother has a heart attack and makes him pray the gay away

OKAY I might go on forever if I don’t stop here but groupie! Ollie is my babygirl fanboy he is #1 Felix shooter that man will fight ANYONE for him. (I hope this was good enough for now🫶🫶)

[male-hedonism-and-acting-cool]

so i saw you have headcanons on ur page, so i prompt you for more, unload all ur cattonquick headcanons can be nsft go wild mate

sorry it took me so long but here are almost 2k words of my cattonquick headcanons

Felix

dyslexia/adhd combo. has no idea until like late 20s/early 30s. gets medicated, and it changes his entire life (he even gets some kind of rich boy job)

but during oxford he's just struggling and insufferable. Oliver has to do some of his assignments for him (not often. usually when Felix forgets about them entirely and doesn't find someone to pay for doing them)

had chlamydia. do I really need to explain this one? boy fucks around a lot

wants to get his nipples pierced

likes horror stories and spooky urban legends and stuff but also gets scared shitless by them

he was around 10 when his dog died. was literally heartbroken, didn't eat for like a weak. swore to never have a pet again

once during boarding school procrastinated all of his works for the last moment drank five redbulls was awake for 43 hours to finish everything and went to two finals. slept for two days straight woke up with no memory of doing any of this and didn't have a caffeinated drink again for a couple of years (he still barely passed if you care)

has super boring stories about drunk nights out (because he's rich and popular, so there's always something looking after him). but he thinks they are crazy

turns into crazy people pleaser if you as much as hint that you don't like him

​Oliver

autistic

thinks he's great at masking (he does know it's masking because he's also not diagnosed but he's highly aware that he performs different versions of himself for people and believes it's him being an evil genius or something)

is actually shit at masking. he can put his shit together and act a certain way for some time (like he did with other Cattons). but most of the time he's a little freak type of guy, and everyone notices

he also won’t talk to anyone unless he absolutely needs to (he almost failed a class because he needed to do a group project but didn’t like the group he was assigned to, so he tried to email “sorry to miss our group meeting but here’s my part of the work” his way out of talking to any them)

since they spend almost all the time together, Felix knows him in his closest to not masking state

I think his dad does have drinking problems, but he's more like a functional alcoholic so no one cares

likes reading long books. like 600+ pages long. they provide him with a sense of stability

I know he doesn't look like it, but he did have friends at school. mostly children of his parent's friends or people from his classes. he doesn't keep in touch with any of them, and it's his decision (he misses them sometimes, but it's more like he misses the idea of having friends than actual people)

started using contact lenses because Felix would always mention how he likes the color of his eyes

really picky about food and would rather starve than eat something he doesn't like. skips meals at oxford all the time if eggs at the dining hall are cooked in the wrong way or something like this

tries to quit smoking at some point later in life but decides it's not worth it with all the passive smoking from living with Felix

talks in his sleep. not much and not often, but still

becomes a writer and write really fucked up stories with dark academia vibes (partially because he turned into a fucking gremlin when he discovered academic validation and never let it go + partially as a love letter to Felix, his uni sweetheart who, let's be honest, kinda peaked at uni)

gets close with his second sister when she grows older (she and the youngest one have a similar age difference to Oliver and the oldest sisters, and their parents treated them similarly. so they bond over being ignored and forced into taking care of their younger siblings) parents treated them similarly. so they bond over being ignored and forced into taking care of their younger siblings)

cattonquick

Felix is one year older than most people in his class. because he took a gap year after school to "experience life" (get drunk in nine different European countries) and "get to know himself" (receive a couple of mediocre hand-jobs from other rich boys and make some conclusions about his sexuality). he would've been one year Oliver's senior but when Oliver was five he had severe pneumonia and was too weak to start school (like a fucking victorian child). so he started a year later and they are the same age

they do awful couple Halloween costumes (there are also people dressing as them for Halloween as couple costumes, that’s how annoying they are)

they are "facebook official" if you care (it was a big deal for possessive mentally unstable people back then, trust me, my favorite movie is the social network)

Felix has insane separation anxiety (like those dogs on tiktok that grew up during covid with their owners always around)

he would sit in Oliver's laps at parties, play with Oliver's clothes or hair while he's doing his work, ask Oliver to join him in the shower because I need to wash my hair so it's gonna be a long shower and I'll miss you and then you'll go to the shower and I'll miss you even more

but once in a while he gets angry because he feels "too needy" so he ignores Oliver for the whole day or asks him to leave if they are together

then (you guessed it) he starts missing Oliver

at first, Oliver was freaking out every time this happened, but over time he figured out to just give Felix some time and come back later. it still hurts him though that Felix believes he can just send him away whenever he's tired of him

after days like this Felix does everything to show that he loves Oliver and wants him around. he cuddles him more, takes him to a bar or to one of their special places, buys him something (he keeps track of everything Oliver mentions he likes by texting Farleigh. Farleigh fucking hates it)

but still the best way to show Oliver that he won't suddenly get bored of him once and for all one day is to stop doing shit like this. and Felix fails to do it. so they pretend it never happened until it happens again

Oliver always pulls Felix for a kiss by the collar or by his hair. he never st­ands on his toes

they did acid toge­ther once. Felix was sure Oliver would love it but Oliver had an awful trip full of maze imagery and never tried psyched­elics again

for their first va­cation together, they go to France (mostly because Felix does­n't really care for traveling, and he kno­ws that Paris is the city of love or wha­tever). there're huge protests the second day they arrived. so they only go to Louvre and spend the whole two weeks in their hotel room

after Oliver and Felix date for a while and it's clear that Oliver isn't going anywhere Oliver and Farleigh start to develop some love/hate friendship. they mostly hang out toget­her, talk shit about everyone (including each other), and di­scuss poetry

Felix is insanely jealous. Farleigh is offended Felix thou­ght he would be into Oliver. Oliver finds it hilarious (he doesn't think it's hot because he already knows how possessive Felix is, which is hot, but this makes Felix nervous so Oliv­er isn't into it)

Oliver bites. not only during sex but in general. they can sit holding hands and talk and he will just bite Felix's ha­nd and continue talk­ing like nothing hap­pened. because Felix is a little spoon, he will often wake up from Oliver biting into the back of his neck and have a mark for the entire day. Felix gets used to it surprisingly eas­ily (and by gets used to it I mean he finds it unearthly hot, to­uches marks that Oli­ver leaves on him all the time and serio­usly thinks about ge­tting a tattoo of Ol­iver’s bite marks)

and yes he does call Oliver a vampire

Oliver has a couple of slightly worn t-shirts three sizes bigger for Felix to borrow (when they st­art living together a couple slowly turns into a whole drawe­r)

they never really lived in saltburn to­gether. but they went here for summer

when they start li­ving together (right after oxford they move into a two-story apartment) Oliver insists they both sho­uld have an office as some personal spac­e, mostly because he needs to get his wo­rk done. Oliver’s of­fice is very old-fas­hioned, with dark wo­oden furniture and tall bookshelves. he also gets a reproduc­tion of the Saltburn maze game. Felix do­esn’t know what to put in his office bec­ause he doesn’t need a fucking office. his only idea is to commission a portrait of Oliver, so for a couple of years (until he gets medicated and finds a rich boy job) his office has blank wall­s, a portrait of his boyfriend with a de­sk and a single chair across from it and nothing else. he en­ds up spending most of the time Oliver works on the couch at Oliver’s office any­way

Oliver has a lock of Felix's hair in a locket. very 18th century gothic poet style (Felix knows ab­out it btw. it was an anniversary gift)

Felix introduces Oliver as boyfriend, then fiancé, and then husband. Oliver al­ways introduces Felix as his life partner

they get married after six years toget­her

Felix is the one to propose (he waited for Oliver to do it, but Farleigh once told Oliver that he would look like a des­perate social climber if he proposes and Oliver internalized it immediately)

Oliver writes Felix love letters even after they’ve been together for years. full of admiration for small daily things Felix does, about how godly is even the way Felix brush his teeth; about small nice things that hap­pened to him because there’s no one in the world he would ra­ther share it with (much like Nabokov’s Letters to Vera)

Oliver doesn't bel­ieve in soulmates, and Felix claims to be personally victimiz­ed by it. but Oliver just loves to see it as a result of hard work they put into it. he doesn't think they were simply destined to be togeth­er, he believes it's years and years of them choosing to be together, choosing each other when there were so many easier options

as for nsfw

I don't think they have sex with penet­ration often

like Felix has oral fixation, and Oliver just prefers doing things with his han­ds or mouth

Felix is really vo­yeuristic and huge part of their sex life is just Felix putt­ing up a show for Ol­iver and Oliver watc­hing

Felix likes to do cookwarming (oral fi­xation + it grounds him and his adhd bra­in)

Oliver is really a service dom whatever Felix wants Oliver will find a way to do it

but his personal favorite is rimming Felix until he's all wet and finish him by sucking him off and fingerings him at the same time

[wormswurld]

modern day cattonquick headcannons! 🌟

felix:

- loves fortnite. would def be a streamer on twitch & get banned within 24 hours for cursing someone out and calling them poor lmao (would have ollie help him draft an apology on twitter) @quick-catton and i thought of this

- male manipulator to his core LOL. loves the smiths, radiohead (because ollie likes them), the strokes, the smashing pumpkins etc.... also def one of those annoying movie buffs. sees fight club for the first time and looks at tyler durden and says "omg he's literally me! 🤗"

- cart & nic FEINNNN. do not let this man see your vape and or cart because he will never give it back. his fave vape flavor is some tooty fruity shit lmao

- kanye west dick rider. need i say more. (this isn't me saying he supports what kanye says, but this is me saying he is the type to be like "graduation is his best work!" when it def isn't)

- chronic tiktok reposter. sees anything that relates to him and will unabashedly repost it, no matter how self-incriminating it is.

- says "sigma male" and "based" unironically (ollie wants to kill him for this)

ollie:

- my god does this man love reddit. like he for sure tells felix about the crazy ass shit he finds from r/amitheasshole

- takes pride in himself whenever someone asks does he have tiktok and he simply says "no 😐" (tho he gets all the latest trends and dances from felix)

- absolute god at mario kart, like he's so good that anytime he plays with felix he has to dodge being hit by felix's controller cuz he baby rages

- has created him and felix in the sims 4 and made them kiss

- def is a discord mod

- brokeback mountain is his favorite movie of all time.

- also for sureeee uses 4chan (only to fight bigots and point out their logical phallacy's etc)

- listens to lana del rey on the down low (his fave album is ultravioelnce cuz duh) + really likes radiohead & the cranberries

that's all i have folks! i hope u enjoyed my craziness, feel free to leave ur headcannons/thoughts below!! 😁