#crazy how fast I used to animate those loopy things

[slarkzin]

Thumbnail I drew for my cringe animation meme playlist because I'm chill like that

References under cut (old art warning)

Despite how old and cringe those animations are, I would not be where I am now if it wasn't for those things

[queerquintessence]

heyo

so i recently have been obsessed with the idea of the voltron paladins living in the same house together sooo

i may or may not have spent the last like 3 hours working on headcannons

the characters in the house are keith, lance, hunk, pidge, and allura

(since they’re all relatively similar in age)

so sadly no shiro or coran but

anyway

yeah here they are

(once again a bit unorganized but it’s whatev)

• first off allura and lance are both housewifes

• and neither of them take any shit from the others

• allura: keith, could you pick your feet up? i’m trying to vacuum down here

• keith, sitting on the couch: couldn’t you just do it later

• allura:

• allura: move your feet or i’m telling lonce you have a crush on him

• hunk does the dishes most of the time because he’s mainly the one who cooks their food

• but they also alternate on a schedule

• lance, sighing dramatically: i do everything around here! keith, when was the last time you washed the dishes?

• keith: i literally washed them last night

• lance: well you missed a plate so it doesn’t count

• keith takes out the trash a lot except he doesn’t wear shoes so his feet are always dirty

• lance yells at him for it

• whenever lance takes out the trash he puts on whoever’s shoes are closest

• pidge: lance are those my shoes?

• lance, tiptoeing in sneakers that are 3 sizes too small: maybe

• the couch that they own is too small to fit everyone

• they either argue for 10 minutes over who gets to sit where or they just pile on top of each other

• pidge usually lays on top of someone’s lap when it gets crowded

• she can just flop on top of someone and they’ll just let her- no words spoken

• keith sits on the armrests and everyone gives him shit for it

• lance: aren’t you uncomfortable?

• keith: i like sitting here

• lance: alright edgelord

• lance lays with his legs sprawled on top of the couch

• sometimes pidge will lay on lance who will have his legs on keith

• hunk is fine with sitting on the floor but even he’ll start arguing over the good spot on the couch

• hunk: lance, buddy, you sat there last time- why not give someone else a turn?

• lance: hunk when was the last time you did your own laundry? huh. that’s what i thought

• dinners pretty chaotic

• that’s usually when they have their debates

• lance, pounding his fist on the table: mac and cheese is to be eaten with a fork and that’s that

• pidge: why the hell would you use a fork? spoons are just fine in my opinion

• keith, silently munching on his food knowing he eats it with a knife:

• pidge: alright, we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room

• everyone:

• pidge:

• pidge: keith, you gotta stop putting corn syrup on your peanut butter sandwiches it’s fucking weird

• allura: everyone in favor of limiting lance’s shakira privileges say I

• keith, pidge, and hunk: I

• lance, who’s totally offended: wh

• luckily, they all have their own rooms

• except the walls are super thin

• lance scream singing beyoncé: GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW YOUR LOVES GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW

• keith: why has god forsaken me

• even when they try to play music relatively quiet it can still faintly be heard

• muffled music from keith’s room: when i was, a young boy

• pidge: HA fucking EMO

• they all have Alexa’s in their rooms

• and pidge has access to all of them on her laptop

• pidge: psst- hey lance, watch this

• pidge: *fast typing on laptop*

• blasting from keith’s room: COUNTRYYY ROAAADS TAKE ME HOOOOME

• muffled keith screaming: pIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

• in the morning during breakfast

• allura: why has lonce not come out of his room yet?

• pidge: hang on, i’ll wake him up

• lance’s alexa in the distance: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH YOU’RE A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH

• lance’s startled scream is then followed by a loud thud

• once a week they have a movie night

• keith: lance i am not watching a cheesy romcom for the 2nd week in a row

• lance: i have to listen to ‘welcome to the black parade’ eighteen times a day sit the fuck down

• keith, crossed arm for the duration of movie night: this love story is completely unrealistic

• everybody shushes him on cue

• they also have monthly sleepovers in the living room where they giggle like middle schoolers

• keith knocks over an entire bowl of popcorn

• allura discovers the concept of a pillow fight and effortlessly knocks everybody to the ground

• lance flops on the air mattress and launches pidge across the room

• while everyone is trying to sleep

• lance: guys guys i’m gonna say something

• lance:

• lance: mayonnaise

• everybody loses their shit laughing because it’s 2 in the morning and they’re sleep deprived

• the bathroom sink is a mess

• their toothbrushes are color coordinated

• since they have to fit so much shit on the sink they have specific spots where they put their stuff

• pidge: hunk, your toothbrush is in my spot

• hunk: what? no- this corner of the sink is mine

• the debate results in all of them crowded in the bathroom arguing for 10 minutes

• keith: i don’t even remember having a designated spot on the sink

• allura: we need a toothbrush holder

• sometimes they do their nightly routines together

• which is also chaotic

• lance is applying a face mask, which drips onto pidge’s arm

• pidge then jerks her arm away- hitting keith’s toothbrush

• it then catapults off the counter and sticks to the wall

• keith: i left the room for one second what the hell did you do

• i’ve seen this headcannon somewhere before and i love it so i’m elaborating

• whenever keith is tired he’s giddy and hyper and loopy

• keith after not having a good nights sleep for 3 weeks, getting a running start and flipping onto the couch: a woop

• pidge: what in fucks name are you doing

• lance is the same exact way when he’s tired so they act like complete and utter idiots

• keith: lance, hey lance guess what

• lance: what

• keith:

• lance:

• they both burst out laughing

• lance: keith, omg you know what- keith rhymes with teeth

• keith:

• keith: holy shit

• eventually they both burn out and are just exhausted

• lance with his face planted in the carpet: uuuggghghggg

• allura: you finally done?

• lance: *angry muffled grumbling*

• pidge tends to fall asleep anywhere in the house

• usually with her computer on her lap or nearby

• she’s usually discovered the next morning

• hunk walking into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes: kinda want some orange juice

• pidge is just asleep on top of the fridge

• everyone else eating breakfast at the table

• keith: has anyone seen pidge?

• soft snoring is heard from under the table

• keith: ah

• they just put up with each other’s bullshit all day everyday and i love it

• lance, slamming his bedroom door open: everyone in my room i had a nightmare and need affection

• everyone emerges from their rooms grumbling and all file into lance room with their pillows and stuffed animals

• pidge trying to keep the remote away from lance: go long, hunk!

• keith appearing in the doorway and getting hit straight in the forehead with a remote: fUCK

• lance: are those my socks?

• keith: huh? oh, i dunno they were in my laundry pile

• lance: no those are totally my socks give them back right now

• when they all moved in together it was before keith and lance started dating so obviously there was shipping

• pidge, bursting into hunk’s room: i have klance tea

• hunk: spill

• lance: wh- keith and i are NOT dating

• pidge: you guys literally live together!

• lance: WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER

• allura, to hunk during dinner: i don’t know about you, but it seems to me like keith has a thing for lance

• keith: princess you’re not even whispering we can all hear you

• keith and lance secretly holding hands under the dinner table while lance is telling a story

• lance, being dramatic and expressive, lifts his hands in the air to accidentally reveal that his hand is intertwined with keith’s and its immediate chaos

• keith letting go immediately: wH HUH HOW DID THAT GET THERE

• pidge: I FUCKING TOLD YOU

anywayyy that’s all

i literally love this so much so don’t be surprised if i come up with some more later

yeah

bye

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

Sweet dreams, TN

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Helena Craig) x M!OC (Clay Banner)

Words count: ~2.1k

Category: Smut/Angst/AU

Warning: 🔞 content/Language

A.N: I really wanted to picture something else. What if my MC didn’t get her place at Edenbrook Hospital in her first year and her boyfriend did? And what happens if she comes as a surgical resident in the 2nd year? Also I’ve decided that in this fic I’ll call MC in her middle name Helena or shortened Helen/Ellie. It’s the alter-ego of Klaw so it has nothing to do with her. After posting this I’ll log off from Tumblr ‘cause I know it’s a disaster😭😭😭😭

Song: “Sweet dreams, TN” - The Last Shadow Puppets (pls hear this first to understand it better ❤️)

MASTERLIST

———————————————

I just sort of always feel sick without you baby

I ain’t got anything to lick without you baby

Nothing seems to stick without you baby

Ain’t I fallen in love

“Do you have the keys for the handcuffs?”

“Whoa. Is someone getting a little afraid hm?”

“Well I don’t want to be useless without my hands. So I can touch you.”

“I do have the keys darling.” The two faces were closer breathing into each other’s air. “But I need you to be quiet now.”

“Show me then.”

It’s just the pits without you baby

It’s really just the pits without you baby

It’s like everyone’s a dick without you baby

Ain’t I fallen in love

The command was clear and both of them entered to the inevitable path.

Feeling each other’s skins in the most obscenely way and falling to that wild imagination that both of them had been restraining for a long time.

It was a heavenly and a desirably emotion that led themselves to be part of this trap.

They could hear their accelerated heartbeats as more and more they looked hungrily and darkly like animals fighting for domination.

Blue vs Brown.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

And all my pals will tell me is that I’m crazy

You bet I’m loopy alright

And I just don’t recognise this fool

That you have made me

Whoa I ain’t seen him for a while

Panting breath wasn’t in their expectations and shared a laugh before they reached the culmination and he unlocked her handcuffs to fall completely in his arms.

Their strong embrace fitted perfectly the curves of their bodies despite their sweat. When he was about to pull off she pouted in a whisper.

“No. Stay.”

“I will.” He promised with a searing kiss.

“But you did left me.” Her expression changed completely and in a mere of seconds she wasn’t there.

He blinked. “What?”

The sound of the alarm woke him up and suddenly he felt his underwear soaked.

“Holy shit I did this again!” He growled in frustration as he rubbed his face.

He made attempts to get up but his knees were too weak to keep his balance. Another attempt and he slowly started to walk. Or better a crawling you may call it.

He turned on his bathtub to make a quick shower and to clear this mess of himself. But the hot water made him feel again those goosebumps of that sweet dream and closed his eyes again.

She looped his arms around his waist and start to kiss his shoulders slowly and gently while moving her hands up and down his bellybutton. He let a content sigh while drifting again to that imaginary scene.

And as your shrinking figure blows a kiss

I catch and smash it on my lips

Darling I can’t seem to quit.

When there wasn’t a shoulder to lean on his head, he slapped his face growling loudly and continued his shower in disappointment.

Completely falling to bits

I really might be losing it

The idea that you’ve existed all along is ridiculous

I don’t know what to say

He missed her.

Not longer after that he arrived at Edenbrook gladly on time thanks to his fast BMW vehicle. He carried his bag through the hall of the hospital and a megawatt smile that he recognised it very well stopped him.

“Yo yo look who’s back again. My mann!” They clapped their backs.

“Ooff Bryce!” He was breathing hardly. “We were celebrating yesterday for the end of our intern year. I’m sure that we didn’t miss each other that much.”

“C’mon Banner can’t you just be funnier person in your life for once hm?”

Clay rolled his eyes. “Anyways I have to change my clothes unless you don’t have anything else to say.”

“I do actually.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I met someone today.”

“So?”

“You have no idea whom I have met.”

“Let me guess did President Biden come here?” He snorted when he saw Bryce’s not amused reaction. “Okay fine go on.”

“As I was saying I met today a female but let me tell you man... this woman is not like the others. She’s like a goddess that entered to this building and blessed my life when I made eye contact with her.”

Clay was really trying his best not to laugh to this exaggeration. “You have met plenty of women and it’s not your first time Bryce.”

“Tsk. It is my first time. And may I add she was like queen Cleopatra that summoned everyone when she walked here.” Bryce added in a wandering gaze while he was doing his usual ministrations. “Black stilettos clicking and wearing those black leathery pants revealing her curves...ohh I’m thinking I’m going to fall in love man. She had a long coat on her shoulders and that white shirt mmhmm.” He closed his eyes. “She truly was the boss and I’m betting on this... her elegant body will be in my bed. But-”

“And there’s always a but right?”

“Can you believe I didn’t get her name?! Not even her number!”

His friend squealed in laughter. “What did you think fool? That she was going to follow you straight into the on-call room?”

“Yes!” Bryce exclaimed. “That’s what I thought too man but I lost her because that damn nurse came to me for signing a patient in a surgery.” He sighed and shook his head. “I lost the most perfect chance today and I don’t even know what she was doing here... she can’t be a doctor though ‘cause she’s too beautiful for this job.”

“Well then good luck on finding her ‘cause I have to go now. See you.” He trailed off to the direction of the elevator.

“Yea see ya.” He waved back at him before he muttered. “Go back to surgery Bryce before Tanaka cuts you off.”

————————

“This is going to be your office.”

“Thank you so much Mist- Dr. Tennant!” She corrected herself briefly before she would say another embarrassing thing. “I really don’t know how to express my gratitude for this.”

He scoffed. “Please can you just talk normally Dr. Craig? I think at the first time we met the rule was by names. Call me Simon.”

“Sure. Simon.” She really wasn’t used to it though. First no title of Miss/Mister and now calling by names. USA had really big differences with UK not only in titles but also in medical policy and legacy.

“And now I must say to you congratulations!” They shook hands. “And also I’d like to introduce you to our Diagnostics Team.”

She nodded in agreement.

When they finally arrived at the front door Simon stepped first to get the attention of his colleagues who seemed to be occupied as they were studying a case so he cleared his throat loudly. All of them turned their gazes to him except for an attending who didn’t even have to recognise his friend’s voice.

“What now Simon?”

“Hello to you too my pal. You know everyone that there was going to be a resident in the absence of Edgar’s, right?”

“Yes we know that.” The Japanese-British woman spoke.

“Have you brought him here?!” Judging by his accent it was an Indian man who exclaimed happily.

Simon chuckled. “Yes Baz but it’s her.”

“Ooooohh.”

“Let’s hope she’ll be useful for this job.”

“Don’t worry Ethan. She was selected as the best surgical intern in Imperial College of London Hospital and many other things among but I’ll let her to present herself.” He made her a signal to come inside.

“Everyone this is Dr. Helena Craig.”

“Please you can call me Helen or Ellie if you want.”

“I like Helen better.” The woman got up and shook her hand. “Dr. June Hirata.”

“Me too! Hi I’m Dr. Sebastian Mirani but everyone calls me simply Baz.”

“Ethan?” Simon asked quietly to get up and greet with her but he wasn’t moving any inch.

Helen gave him a knowing smile and said without breaking her gaze to him. “It’s alright for me if we don’t shake hands. I feel the same way too when I meet people that haven’t given me a good and a reliable impression at first so I completely understand your condition now.”

She caught him off guard. Ethan Ramsey expected her to scowl or glare into his eyes but instead she was killing him with that radiating smile.

Fuck.

The same smile that was reserved for him yesterday at Donahue’s bar.

In the corner of his eyes there was an unfamiliar face that stayed some stools away from him.

She lit up a cigarette even though Reggie had been strictly to every client not to use it but it seemed she didn’t care about it.

Her blonde hair was tied up in a bun revealing her constructed jaw and her long neck.

She had also earrings pierced. Was she a troublesome woman? Or maybe a drugs dealer judging by her extravagant outfit. But what caught his attention was that she didn’t look amused or happy.

She was sad. And exhausted.

Along with her was a small luggage that she had carried with herself here. She called Reggie to bring her a strong scotch and found by the latter that she was British and it was her first time in Boston.

She had also asked him for a hotel nearby this place and Reggie suggested some of them including “La Vista” Hotel which was the best. She thanked and left him the payment.

Now her eyes landed on the icy blue that had been staring on her for a long time and gave him a wicked smile. She raised her glass in purpose and licked her lips after drinking bits of it.

She was really gorgeous in all of his honesty and they didn’t break their eye contact for maybe a couple of minutes. He could do it every time without any hesitation just to rest in those piercing brown’s.

He was a very handsome man and even though he seemed older than her, she didn’t give a single shit. She could imagine his toned muscles and abs beyond those pesky clothes. She was marveled and could sense that he felt the same too.

It was like they both understood each other.

No words needed.

Only looks.

But she knew who he was. Ethan Ramsey. And she was glad that made him completely at her mercy and was enjoying it.

Poor man she thought.

She couldn’t wait for his reaction tomorrow when he would find out who she was actually.

His colleague.

Helen could imagine his flustered face and transfixed into her with his mouth agape.

She got up from her seat slowly in a tantalizing move while he drank in one gulp his scotch and called Reggie again for another fill.

She walked past him but before leaving with her luggage she lowered her head to his ear whispering dangerously. Her breath was a tingle in his ears and could almost feel her lips brushed.

“Thank you for the distraction. I really needed it.” 

She left unceremoniously when something dropped from her and he immediately caught it.

It was one of her earrings with the initial ‘H’. He was about to call her but she was gone.

Maybe he would find her tomorrow again. Here.

And he really found her. In the most obscenely and the most embarrassing way if he could describe it. Instead of what she said he got up with his smuggling look.

“Wrong observation.” When she heard his deep voice for the first time she gulped and could see his eyes glimmering triumphantly. “I hope you don’t ruin this opportunity.”

He caught her off guard. While they were touching each other’s palms an unknown heat coursed down in their bodies. Bullshit they thought because he was just an attending and she was a resident. Suddenly another voice was approaching to them.

“I’m terribly sorry for my lateness but I was-”

He abruptly stopped himself when he saw her.

His eyes were widened and his breath hitched.

She was here.

Baby we ought to fuck

Seven years of bad luck

Out of the powder room mirror

Could I have made it any clearer

She saw him too.

But not with a happy or a grateful face that always had welcomed his heart.

This was a mere seconds of glaring and then a plastered smile that he knew too well.

Clay Banner had screwed things up a year before he entered Edenbrook Hospital.

And now the woman of his dreams was standing right in front of him with his attending.

His girlfriend.

His Helen.

Or... was?

It’s love like a tongue in a nostril

Love like an ache in the jaw

You’re the first day of spring

With a septum piercing

Little Miss Sweet Dreams, TN

—————————————————————-

TAGS WILL APPEAR IN A REBLOG!

Ps: if this fic doesn’t surpass The Grinch Girl fic notes... there’s not going to be a part two😂😂 sorry...and Happy (late) International Women’s Day💪🏻💋🥰🥰

UPDATE: Part two is posted and it’s called- She’s thunderstorms

[fetus-cakes]

Xenomorph biology

A conversation I had with @palavengarden​ about how the xenomoprhs from the Alien franchise reproduce, any additions are welcome

fair warning, xenomorphs reproduce by injecting their parasitic larva into live human beings and the whole franchise is very unsubtle about this being rape and forced pregnancy, so the discussion is about this topic

charlie: okay but so here is the thing i still dont understand tho even just doing the first 2 movies the queen lays an egg the egg lays penis vagina deepthroat rape crab the  penis vagina deepthroat rape crab lays a smaller egg the smaller egg hatches into a tiny screaming snake which hatches AGAIN and then runs away then suddenly there is a 9 foot tall 15 foot long black monster that wants to eat humans then it takes a nap then if its on a planet instead of in space it wakes from its nap and eats everyone on the planet? builds a house in the warmest place available somehow a queen happens in all this fetus: ok think of it as an insect life cycle egg > larva > nymph > full grown adult likewise, xenomorphs only have one egg everything else is metamorphosis of the same body face rape crab BECOMES chest embryo charlie: no, cuz the rape crab dies after throat fucking you fetus: chest embryo leaves host body and BECOMES full grown adult no it doesn't die it's a shell it MOLTS like cicada shells or tarantula shells heck or a snake skin charlie: okay so egg hatch into a crab crab lives for literally 20 seconds then pukes its self down your throat? fetus: face rape crab is a discarded shell think of the embryo as being inside the crab the crab must stay attached to the face for a few hours to complete the transfer of the embryo charlie: i will resentfull accept this but still 2 more questions 1. why is it that the screamign snake inside the chest doesnt seem to eat anything? it just wants to curl up and take a nap while it grows bigger. the person usually keeps walkign around and just gets a little winded when it sits on their lung fetus: GOOD QUESTION charlie: 2. where does the queen happen in all this fetus: I HAVE ANSWER the embryo needs to stay inside because it's EATING this is where alien will get it's food and if it's a drone, all it will ever eat charlie: you would THINK so but no one seems to know they are chest bursted though the only time ive seen that seemed like maybe their insides were being eaten was in the avp book fetus: because they have been injected with what is basically painkillers charlie: everyone else justs seems fine fetus: this is why the transfer from crab to chest is delicate because the embryo is vulnerable it's to the embryos best interest to NOT be removed before it's ready charlie: the face crab is injecting painkillers or the screaming snake? fetus: face crab injects painkillers into HOST there is a period of time between transfer of embryo and embryo being ready to hatch that the host might be walking around it's for the embryos best interest to not be detected charlie: okay so... the face crab throat fucks you, and its just spitting crazy amoutns of pain killer down your gullet and once your insides are all the way numb and youre a little loopy it pukes the screaming snake into you and since your insides are fucked up with painkiller you dont feel it chomping down and can just continue about youre time, no issue walking and no numb tongue or throat until it breaks yoru sternum, which you CAN feel fetus: you got it charlie: dumb but fine fetus: painkillers are probably not strong enough to prevent someone from noticing their ribcage breaking charlie: i wish that it made your tongue and throat numb fetus: ok so; face rape crab grabs victim, sedates them, transfers embryo and pumps the victim's bloodstream full of anesthesia charlie: okay i accept that grumpily, but i accept it fetus: when transfer is finished the crab falls off and the victim might think they survived charlie: makes sense More or Less fetus: lol why so grumpy charlie: i still think the face crab looks like a whole different animal, not a cicada shell fetus: metamorphosis man ok so the QUEEN charlie: QUEENS AND DRONES PLEASE fetus:  the queen is modeled after ants, bees and termites, so it's a similar process: certain larva are selected by the drones and given the equivalent of Royal Jelly so they'll grow up being able to reproduce like all larva have the POTENTIAL to become queens but only the ones introduced to royal jelly will all others become drones or warriors charlie: okay BUT i know a LOT about bees basically all bees a female with a small handful of stupid males fetus: xenomorphs are technically all females since they all have the potential to become Queens but I guess you could say drones and warriors are sexless and only queens are true females charlie: okay so in alien 2 the one single xenomorph did the whole facehugger THING and scurried away, as normal living in the vents or whatever why did it become a queen and who fucked it to get it to lay eggs? you need at least 2 and you need something to make a queen fetus: WAIT WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN I don't remember that charlie: so just one egg hatched and attached to the dad on the planet, right? and he got evacc'd to the town (or whatever that was) we know from experience that it probably chest bursted within a few hours and scurried into the vents so we should have had 1 drone just eating people unable to lay additional eggs fetus: drone probably went back to mother ship for more eggs it was within walking (driving) distance charlie: and like... carried them? and put them close to humans? fetus: yeah, why not? drones are ONLY concerned with taking care of eggs and queen charlie: then when that one hatched you have 2 drones hell, I'll bet this drone captured humans but them somewhere they couldn't escape and then put the eggs around them ensuring more births did they just by hand carry a shit ton of eggs to the colony until one of them coincidentally was a queen, or did they have to DO something? fetus: royal jelly charlie: okay where tho fetus: whatever the xenomorph equivalent is charlie: okay so in bees fetus: I dunno how they make xenomorph jelly, maybe it's a hormonal excretion drone #1 went and made more drones, until they had enough to make the royal jelly and made a queen charlie: okay fine i checked with the bee expert i remembered royal jelly wrong fetus: what did you think royal jelly did? charlie: no i know what it DOES but i was remembering ti as 'the queen spits out royal jelly, gives it to every single baby, but if she gives a LOT of it to one then it becomes a queen' but no, its something young bees make charlie: all of them so when a young bee hatches and wanders over to the nursery to take care of its sisters its spits a little royal jelly on all of them so yeah okay fine fetus: oh I was remembering royal jelly wrong too then I thought it was scarce charlie: 1 human gets face hugged, the xenomorph goes back to the eggs which it can probably smell on the wind, carries one close to humans, then when the baby hatches and hides in the vents he vomits a bunch of royal jelly in its mouth and it just doesnt stop growing until its a full queen fetus: there you go :D charlie: only possible if its a female xenomorph, though, because every bee you will ever see is always a female the males literally only exist to fuck yougn queens (and die doign it) the queen still couldnt lay eggs though theyd have to just hope that one of the eggs in that ship was male already fetus: oh? why not? charlie: male bees dont fuck the queen in their own hive, thats their mom they are supposed to go out and find virgin queens fetus: well what's to stop xenomorph from being like clownfish and changing their sex based on environmental factors? charlie: the virgin queen fucks one single time then uses that one single time to lay eggs forever fetus: heck, normally I peg aliens as being like whippet lizards: they have developed an entire reproductive cycle without males charlie: because clownfish dont have HIVES fetus: they have harems if I remember correctly though you're right, they DO something to avoid incest charlie: look i spent like 3 months learnign everything about bees and i came out afraid of bees, okay i wanna know what xenomorphs do fetus: HEY I'M LOVING THIS CONVERSATION MAN charlie: technically anyone from that ship would be part of the same 'hive' so they probably wouldnt fuck them though they may well not CARE fetus: THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE TOPIC charlie: ;) lets see... okay so to do yours and it woudl make sense it would just be very alien (ha) egg is born, egg is female egg hatches, is female egg develops inside host, is female hatchest again as female a secondary adutl female spits on it, its a queen lays additional egg no sperm anywhere here but MAYBE maybe if the QUEEN spits on a baby it can become male? because the queen oughtta not be able to have any babies until shes fucked shes a virgin queen so maybe the first helper xenomorph catches a human, brings it to the nest holds the human in place THE QUEEN SPITS IN THE HUMAN then when the egg gets lain in the human it eats both human meat and queen spit the queen spit neutrtalizes the painkillers (hence why people in those weird tar traps always seem in pain, where people walkign aorudn with chest bursters seem fine) but the queen spit makes it be born male it fucks her (incest but whatever, aliens) NOW she can lay a million babies ofrever and they capture more humans to make more males thats why its usually a room with only like a handful of humans stuck in it, because you onyl need a couple males after that i think my only leftover complaint is that the babies grow too fast and also nothign seems to eat, a lot of them seem to just murder for fun rather than food fetus: YOU CRACKED THE CODE well, it's established in the first movie that at the very least, alien embryos inside humans drink their blood like a fetus would it's quote possible they eat their organs too so a gestating embryo will take a LOT of resources from its human host and this is actually true to life too: there are several insect, especially fly, species where the maggots will spend their entire time eating but the adults lack an actual digestive tract so alien embryos spend all the time inside the host eating charlie: i probably need to see 1 again, its been a couple years i think fetus: in Alien one, after John Hurt wakes up, he shows signs of pregnancy: he's hungry and nauseous and Ash says he looks anemic charlie: im just thinking about the guy thta chest bursted in 1, how he was walkign around and laughing and felt fine before he suddenly exploded which means to me that it didnt eat the heart or lungs, since he didnt spit up blood and probably slithered into his intenstines before chewing through and maybe going for his nutrient rich liver first its pretty BIG is the thing every bite could easily be fatal so it cant be biting anythign remotely important or he would just instantly die, or start coughing up blood, or lose the ability to walk oh, so i have to see 1 again fetus: I just made a theory; normally embryos would eat the entire host like wasp larva do but embryos are capable of sensing danger so when the embryo burst from John Hurts chest, it realized that it was surrounded by hostiles so it ran away instead of finishing eating him charlie: oh that could be! it would make sense like in Cubed she had hers in her chest for like... nearly a week fetus: because most chestbursters are born surrounded by drones and their hosts are immobilized but aliens are versatile creatures, so they're able to thrive even in less than ideal conditions heck, Alien 1 is probably the WORST case scenario for a drone: born away from the other eggs and the queen ooooh you're right queens have longer gestation period charlie: my strongest memory from 1 is that she put al lthat effort into blowing up the ship and it was getting hot and screaming and flashign lights and shes desperately running to the escape shuttle with her cat and once the place blows she realizes the xenomorph had curled up to take a nap in the only dark queiet place on the whole ship it didnt even seem that aggressive she put so much effort into killing it and its jsut like.. sleepy and slow moving like 'why you bulyl me' 'i am the baby' fetus: I  KNOW!!!! I  FUCKING LOVE THE FIRST MOVIE SO MUCH ALL THE PREGNANCY AND BABY IMAGERY USED FOR HORROR Alien 1 does a better job with pregnancy horror than a lot of horror movies featuring actual human babies or demon babies and you're so right little drone in Ripley's ship just wanted to nap btw do you mind if I put our alien biology lesson into one post? charlie: go for it! have all the fun 'please, im trying to psyche myslef up to becomeing a queen or something, im lonely, im the baby, let me nap' fetus: I'm still laughing that you said Ellen is bullying the alien bully the murderous parasite charlie: SHE IS HE WAS TAKIGN A NAP NOT BOTHERIGN NO ONE he wasnt even hungry at that moment! fetus: he was lonely the loneliest xenomorph charlie: partner says that he thinks the baby is a normal parasite and curls itself up in the stomach, eating your food, until its too large to fit, then bursts out the chest maybe the 'dick' that comes out of the facehugger is the 'head' of the xenomorph and it just drops the rest of the body once its ready to and the reason you cant remove a facehugger is the baby latches on with teeth and fucks you up if you try to pull it off fetus: there you go I was thinking it was more of a tongue than a dick but yeah charlie: okay so random though imagine if when the baby hatched otu of that one dudes chest? what if instead of screamign at it they had said 'so cute!' 'welcome little baby!' ''i love you!' let it crawl up their arm put it in a soft warm little baby bubble in the medical ward gave it snacks and head pets it loves them then you have a 200 pound gigantic xenomorph monster within a few horus somehow who loves you and aggressively protects them FROM SPACE PIRATES fetus: ok but that thing just killed warrant officer Ash wait no, Dallas? what was John Hurt's character name KANE ok so warrant officer Kane is dead and the crew just adopts his murder baby? we go from RIP Kane to Kane? don't know her charlie: well the baby didnt MEAN to hatch from his chest its a baby fetus: the chest was just in the way

[alecthemovieguy]

Merry Subversive Christmas: Quirky songs to get you through the holidays

Over the years, I’ve gathered quite a collection of off-beat, dark or subversive Christmas songs. These songs are the alternatives to the familiar ones saturating the airwaves, so if you’re looking for something different, these might do the trick.

“Cool Yule” — Tony Rodelle Larson (1962)

This is often mislabeled as being performed by William Shatner. It is easy to understand the confusion as Larson’s broken speech patterns do indeed bring to mind Shatner’s riffs on such songs as “Rocket Man.” This beatnik take on “Twas Night the Night Before Christmas” is most definitely way out.

“Monster’s Holiday” — Bobby “Boris” Pickett (1962)

After the “Monster Mash” became a hit this quickie sequel was churned out. There are some amusing riffs on holiday classics, but it is mostly a shameless rewrite of the original. It was a minor hit, but didn’t remain a holiday classic.

“Silver Bells” — Paul Simon and Steve Martin (Sometime in the late 1970s)

This rare show rehearsal starts out simple enough with Simon doing a lovely version of this classic song, but soon Simon’s singing becomes mere backdrop for Martin deadpanning through a cynical monologue on the true meaning of Christmas that ranges from goofy to racy.

“Father Christmas” — The Kinks (1977)

Leave it to The Kinks, the same band that sang about an encounter with the transvestite “Lola,” to write a song about mugging Santa. Ray Davies’ sunny delivery masks the nastiness in lyrics such as “Father Christmas, give us some money/Don’t mess around with those silly toys/Well beat you up if you don’t hand it over.”

“Christmas in the Stars” (from the “Star Wars” Christmas album of the same name) (1980)

Strange and frightening things began to happen after the tremendous success of the original “Star Wars,” including an astoundingly awful 1978 holiday special. Lessons weren’t learned and two years later producer Meco — hot off his successful disco version of the “Star Wars” theme — produced a Christmas album from a galaxy far, far away. “Christmas in the Stars” is so bad as to become campy fun.

“There Ain’t No Sanity Clause” — The Damned (1980)

English punk band The Damned released this song just in time for the holiday season, but it failed to chart perhaps because no one wanted to have the Santa Claus bubble popped for the youngest yuletide revelers. The lyrics are barely intelligible, but, it is the sing-a-long anthem-like chorus that brings this one home.

"Bollocks To Christmas" — The Business (1981)

English punk bands must have had it out for Christmas in the early ’80s. Elton John's 1973 holiday classic "Step Into Christmas" gets rewritten and reworked into rollicking anti-Christmas anthem that is a welcome antidote for those overdosing on Christmas cheer.

“Christmas in Heaven” — Monty Python (1983)

Monty Python were always known for loopy songs that often pointed out the hypocrisies or the idiosyncrasies of society. In the film “The Meaning of Life,” Graham Chapman sings a caustic song about the consumerism and commercialism that runs rampant during the holiday season that includes lyrics like: “There’s great films on TV/"The Sound of Music” twice an hour/And ‘Jaws’ one, two, and three.“

"Christmas at Ground Zero” - “Weird Al” Yankovic (1986)

Weird Al’s song parodies are usually goofy and innocuous, but Al also has a macabre and twisted sense of humor that occasionally shines through. Written in 1986, “Christmas at Ground Zero” is a biting satire on Cold War paranoia filtered through the sound of a festive holiday tune. Are lines like: “It’s Christmas at ground zero/There’s panic in the crowd/We can dodge debris while we trim the tree/Underneath the mushroom cloud” riotously funny, or simply in bad taste? You be the judge.

“Christmas In Hollis” — Run DMC (1987)

This is a happy hip hop holiday song about Christmas in Queens, N.Y. The song includes such endearingly goofy lyrics as “It was December 24th on Hollis Ave in the dark/When I seen a man chilling with his dog in the park/I approached very slowly with my heart full of fear/Looked at his dog, oh my God, an ill reindeer.”

“Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)” — The Ramones (1989)

The Ramones were still kicking around in the late 1980s cranking out three-chord ditties. Surprisingly, one of the best songs from this era is a Christmas song about the tensions of the season and the need for forgiveness.

“Santa Song” — Adam Sandler (1993)

Everyone is familiar with Sandler’s “Chanukah Song,” but he actually did a Christmas themed song that pre-dates its by a year. In this one Sandler sings about all the reasons he won’t be getting a visit from Santa. Best line: “Santa don’t like bad boys…especially Jewish ones.”

“12 Days of Yaksmas” — Ren and Stimpy (1993)

There have been numerous parodies of the “12 Days of Christmas,” which is your favorite really comes down to personal preference. As a youth in the 1990s, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for the warped antics of this dog and cat team.

“Burger/Christmas Medley” — Phil Hartman and Sinbad (1995)

Hidden in the closing credits of the film “Houseguest,” a largely forgettable comedy that lives on as cable TV filler, this is an amusing medley of barbecue-themed Christmas songs. Hartman even reprises some of his most famous “Saturday Night Live” impressions, including Frank Sinatra and Bill Clinton.

“Little Drum Machine Boy” — Beck (1996)

“The Little Drummer Boy” gets morphed into an odd dance and rap flavored Chanukah anthem featuring “the holiday Chanukah robot of funk.” Beck is a chameleon-like musician who blends different genres with amazing skill. It is hardly traditional, but certainly original and memorable.

“The Night Santa Went Crazy” — Weird Al Yankovic (1996)

Don’t be fooled by the sweet guitar strumming of the open, this Christmas carol turns humorously sour fast. Yankovic turns his twisted mind on Christmas in the story of the night Santa finally snapped and became a “big, fat, disgruntled yuletide Rambo.”

“I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” — Blink 182 (1997)

Goofball pop/punk rockers wrote this anthem for all those who are driven up the wall by the holiday season. The song features bitter, but funny lyrics like: “It’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand all year/I’m growing tired of all this Christmas cheer.”

“I Want an Alien for Christmas” — Fountains of Wayne (1997)

Years before Fountains of Wayne recorded its breakup out “Stacy’s Mom,” the band recorded this cheerfully loopy song that seems to be a modern riff on “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” It is hard not to smile at such lyrics as “I want a little green guy/About three feet high/With seventeen eyes.”

“O Holy Night” — Eric Cartman (1999)

“South Park” dedicated a whole episode to satirizing holiday music back in 1999. This is one of the tamer songs from the episode with the spoiled Cartman butchering the holiday classic to hilarious effect.

“Lonely Christmas Eve” - Ben Folds (2000)

Faith Hill’s “Where Are You, Christmas?” got all the attention, but this song is probably the best thing to come out of Ron Howard’s bloated film version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” Written from the perspective of the Grinch, the tongue-in-cheek piano-man perfectly captures the Dr Seuss tone in a way the movie it appeared in never did while also adding his own quirky sense of humor.

“Bizarre Christmas Incident” — Ben Folds (2002)

Folds hasn’t done a Christmas album, but based on this and the above song, it would be one of the funniest ones ever recorded. This aptly named song unfolds a dark tale of a man encountering Santa in the night. The song answer the question of what would happen if Santa got stuck in the chimney. Needless to say, it doesn’t end pretty. Best enjoyed by those who like their humor black.

“Jingle Bells” - Brian Setzer Orchestra (2002) Setzer reinterprets “Jingle Bells” with his familiar swinging rockabilly stamp. It is a hoot to hear him change the “one horse open sleigh” to a “57 Chevrolet.”

“Elf’s Lament” — Barenaked Ladies (2004)

On “Barenaked for the Holidays” the Ladies presented a collection of Christmas favorite as well as original songs featuring their quirky sense of humor. On this song an elf complains “I make toys, but I’ve got aspirations.”  Bonus: this song features vocals from Michael Bublé.

“Mr. Heat Miser” — Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (2004)

The song first appeared in the 1974 stop-motion animation special “The Year Without Santa.” Thirty years later the swing revival group Big Bad Voodoo Daddy recorded the definitive version of the song for their holiday album “Everything You Want for Christmas.”

“Christmastime for the Jews” — Darlene Love (2005)

Robert Smigel contributed a series of animated shorts to “Saturday Night Live” called “TV Funhouse.” This was one of the best with soul singer Love providing the vocals to a song that describes what Jews do while gentiles “stay at home and party with their goyish family.”

“Dick in a Box” - Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake (2006)

When it first aired on “Saturday Night Live” Dec. 16, 2006, it was clear it would become an instant classic. A parody of ‘90s R&B was an ideal fit for Timberlake, but when you got to the punchline, it was the last thing you expected.

“I’m Getting Nuttin’ for Christmas” — Relient K (2007)

Christian punk/pop band Relient K’s do a fast, rocking cover of the novelty song “I’m Getting Nuttin’ for Christmas.” The snarling punk attitude and crunching guitars suit lyrics like “I broke my bat on Johnny’s head/Somebody snitched on me” quite well.

“Another Christmas Song” — Stephen Colbert (2008)

Stephen Colbert did a hilarious parody of holiday specials in 2008. The special’s songs either subverted preexisting songs or, in this case, are something completely new. Lyrics like “The tree is frozen, the winter’s bright/Who’d have thought the wise men look so white” are made all the funnier by Colbert’s authentic crooning.

“Present Face” — Garfunkel and Oates (2008)

This female comedy-folk duo combines disarming charming and simple hooks with goofy and/or raunchy lyrics. In this case the duo leans toward the silly side as they sing about the all too familiar face people make when they get a present they don’t like.

“Christmas Tree” — Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy (2008)

Leave it to Lady Gaga, the reigning pop queen of weirdness, to co-write a Christmas song filled with dance beats and dripping with sexual innuendos. It is most definitely not family friendly, but the audacity is admirable.

“Merry Something to You” — Devo (2009)

Yep, Devo, those quirky new wavers recorded a song for the holidays. Blending cheery, generic holiday music with the synthesizers and drum beats they are known for, the band creates an infectious little ditty. Devo often used their songs to satirize society and that’s most definitely the case here as they proclaim: “Believe what you want nothing’s really true.”

“Oh Shit, It’s Christmastime!” — Mad Tea Party (2009)

This uke-abilly band vents their frustration for Christmas in this infectious two-minute ditty. The cynical lyrics include sentiments that anyone can relate to, if only fleetingly: “It’s Christmas, forgot about the pagans and Jews/It’s Christmas and it makes me blue.”

“Christmas Night of the Living Dead” — MxPx (2009)

It was perhaps inevitable that there would be a zombie-themed Christmas song. Punk rockers MxPx present this bloody tale of Christmas carnage featuring the chorus: “Christmas night of the living dead/My face is green and the snow is red.”

“I Wish It Was Christmas Today” — Julian Casablancas (2009)

Originally a goofy tune performed on “Saturday Night Live” by Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan and Tracy Morgan, Casablancas, the lead singer of The Strokes, fleshes it out into a full-fledged rocking Christmas song. The added production value manages to enhance the simple charms of the skit rather than undermine it.

“All I Need Is Love” —  CeeLo Green Feat. The Muppets (2012)

The Muppet’s classic “Mahna Mahna” becomes the spine for this joyous collaboration with CeeLo Green, in which Green proclaims all he needs is love for Christmas. Slick modern pop production combined with the silliness of the Muppets make this hard to resist.

"The Season's Upon Us" — Dropkick Murphys (2012)

Boston’s beloved Celtic punk band offers up their take on the holiday season. The song gleefully embraces familial dysfunction and chaos with such  lyrics like “My sisters are wack jobs, I wish I had none/Their husbands are losers and so are their sons.” 

“I Fucking Love Christmas” — Rob Scallon and Doug Walker (2014)

Doug Walker has been providing irreverent movie reviews on the Internet as the Nostalgic Critic since 2007. He loves Christmas. He really loves Christmas, which he makes abundantly clear in this gloriously over-the-top song. The hilariously explicit lyrics definitely require parental discretion.

“Sump’n Claus” — Kenan Thompson (2014)

“Saturday Night Live” delivers again with yet another hilarious satire of Christmas. Here Kenan Thompson plays Sump’n Claus, who, unlike Santa Claus and his judgmental list, declares “everybody’s gettin’ sump’n” and that something is cold hard cash in a white envelope. Just don’t ask where it came from.

“Text Me Merry Christmas” — Straight No Chaser and Kristen Bell (2014)

A cappella group Straight No Chaser is joined by actress Bell for a perfect mix of sincerity and satire in looking at love and the holiday season in the modern age. Playful lyrics like “I don’t care if you spell things right/I just want to hear from you tonight/Stroke those keys with your delicate touch/And type those little words that mean so much” are delivered with a charming sweetness.

“Santa’s Coming For Us” — Sia (2017)

Every year, a new crop of artists release Christmas-themed albums. Typically, they are filled with covers of the same holiday standards with a couple originals thrown. Refreshingly, Sia’s “Everyday is Christmas” features all new songs that perfectly blend Sia’s idiosyncratic pop sensibilities with the upbeat sounds of the season. Lead single “Santa’s Coming For Us” is effervescent and catchy in way that never becomes insufferable.

[worldupdatereviews2017-blog]

Brickerbot is mysterious antimalware that nukes badly secured Internet of Shit devices

New Post has been published on https://worldupdatereviews.com/brickerbot-is-mysterious-antimalware-that-nukes-badly-secured-internet-of-shit-devices/

Brickerbot is mysterious antimalware that nukes badly secured Internet of Shit devices

The Mirai Computer virus is a seemingly unstoppable piece of malware that objectives the garbage-security Net of factors gadgets which have proliferated via the world; those gadgets then used to deliver similarly unstoppable floods of traffic that endanger whole countries.

Bricker Both Devices

Because Mirai (and its cousins) use your gadgets to goal different humans, you would possibly never even know that your machine is destroying the sector.

For the beyond a week, safety researcher Pascal Geenens has been tracking what seems to be a vigilante reaction to this threat, a competing Bug he is dubbed “Bricker both,” which infects these insecure IoT gadgets and renders them completely inoperable. Bricker both is mutating rapid, with 4 versions performing in per week, every more effective than the final.

Bricker both appears to be a botnet hosted on thousands of inclined gadgets that are spared euthanasia just so they could function executioners.

There are different vigilante botnets competing with it: Hajime has infected at least 10,000 gadgets, and is a successor, of kinds, to the Watch botnet, which shut down susceptible devices in 2015.

Pascal Geenens, the researcher who first documented what he calls the everlasting denial-of-service botnet, has dubbed the fiercest new example BrickerBot.3. It appeared out of nowhere on April 20, exactly one month after BrickerBot.1 first surfaced. Now not handiest did a BrickerBot.3 mount miles faster wide variety of attacks—with 1,295 attacks coming in just 15 hours—it used a changed attack script that added numerous instructions designed to more completely shock and awes its goals. BrickerBot.1, through assessment, fired 1,895 volleys all through the four days it turned into lively, and the nevertheless-active BrickerBot.2 has spit out near 12 assaults consistent with the day. “Similar to BrickerBot.1, this attack was a brief however excessive burst,” Geenens informed Ars. “Shorter than the four days BrickerBot.1 lasted, but even more extreme. The assaults from BrickerBot.three came in on a specific honeypot than the only that recorded BrickerBot.1. There may be, however, no correlation between the gadgets used inside the preceding assault versus the ones on this assault.”

Instructions accomplished through BrickerBot.3 are identical to the ones completed by way of BrickerBot.1 except for several new ones that placed new methods into the background until all resources are exhausted.

Quickly after BrickerBot.three started out attacking, Geenens determined BrickerBot.four. Together, the 2 newly found times have attempted to attack gadgets inside the research honeypot close to 1,400 instances in less than 24 hours. Like BrickerBot.1, the newcomer botnets are made up of IoT gadgets jogging an outdated model of the Dropbear SSH server with the public, geographically dispersed IP addresses. the ones two traits lead Geenens to suspect the attacking devices are poorly secured IoT gadgets themselves that someone has compromised and used to completely take out further unsecured devices. Geenens, of safety firm Radware, has more information here.

I woke up this morning packed with sadness, it’s miles the 22nd, and Doomsday has No longer arrived. To mention I experience let down is a sarcasm, in place of looking out the window and seeing an ash included sky, fires raging and those screaming inside the streets, it is raining and there are 2 pigeons gambling with a squirrel, oh what sickening torment is that this? I’m stunned and mortified that those bloody historical Mayans, with much less era than the circle of relatives of 10 in a council flat down the street, had been Not able to make a prediction hundreds of years into the destiny. How could they get it incorrect? Read the celebrities, stare off into the area, take a chunk of ayahuasca, and let infant Jesus manual you via the future while gently stroking your hand so you don’t freak out.

To mention I feel let down is an underestimation, I went out and acquired a family size p.C. of first-rate streets, I put on my new footwear so I may want to outrun the looters, and that I shaved so the Messiah wouldn’t think I was a hobo, how fast one’s dreams can be shattered. Now we understand it is not the stop of the arena, and I’m left with yolk on my face, and I’m embarrassed besides. So where to from right here? How do I fill my life with reason, what is there to sit up for since the Mayans let us all down? The only achievable way out of this I will consider, is to put down my very own prediction, and one which is much more likely to come back actual Due to the fact I did technology and stuff in college.

Get out your Clever telephones and set a reminder for the morning before the cataclysmic occasion, so you recognize the day earlier than it takes place, and Not at the day while it is too overdue (works with birthdays too). Ebook the day without work, do not make plans for the following weekend, inventory up on cigarettes (they will be the brand new currency), construct a bomb safe haven, and the day earlier than, exit and purchase masses of meals and water, or just a gun so that you can take different people’s food and water. If you do not, you would possibly end up having to consume your family, we’ve all been there and it’s Not a laugh, Not initially anyway.

In this day a meteor will come flying in from outer space, invisible to us Due to the fact it’s far very, very sneaky. Terrific volcanoes will erupt spewing ash into the air with the intention to cover the sun for 100 years, earthquakes deep within the ocean will purpose tsunamis that allow you to wipe out 70% of the land, there can be a huge solar flare which smothers us in radiation, and only for that very last kick within the pants, a virus will mutate and flip us all into boil blanketed comfortable messes.

Why this date? And why is all this shit gonna kick off on one day? Nicely, it’s less dramatic if things take the time to go wrong, but mainly Due to the fact the planets will all line up with our galaxies black hole, and Remarkable gravity will make shit cross crazy.

I realize what your thinking, he’s right! but for the doubters available, I recognize these items Because I took hundreds of acid in my Twenties, and the swirly colors informed me so. Also, it simply kinda popped into my head, like fate or something. I understand after the numerous let downs of the past, it will be hard to take inventory in my prediction, but I don’t have any doubt you may position your query marks apart and include my beliefs as your very own, you cannot deny that date rings true someway, you could sense it on your intestine, and Additionally that part of the mind which deals in irrational questioning.

You spot! I advised you it become coming! Now Jesus is right here, doomsday is upon us, the aliens are taking on animals by two, and you’re No longer geared up! You were too busy gambling your games, operating your jobs, plowing your fields, and now Jesus says he isn’t always gonna wait, and your caught here with the pestilence, and the nuclear wintry weather and what Now not, and I am heading off to Gliese 581G to make sure the survival of the human race, and baby alien Jesus says I will be high-quality, ’cause I pay attention, and I stockpiled all my shit, and now I am the only sharing out snack length candies for special favors, who’s crazy now?! Huh, who’s GODDAM loopy NOW!?!

P.S. I have a safe house for retaining large display screen T.V’s and gadgets, in addition to a giant safe for coins, In case you want me to look after your shit, e-mail me and that I promise to maintain it securely.