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btranwrites · 7 months ago

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Wesley is eager to show his new girlfriend to his parents, but can't stop feeling like something's wrong.

His parents had high standards, after all. But what were they? Somewhere within, Wesley felt a fleeting ghost of a worry, a whisper that he was missing something important. But its fingers were weak and limp, barely applying the weakest pressure on his throat, enough to hitch his breath for but a second, not quite strong enough for him to stop, for him to hang onto, for him to stop and scream for what was missing. Huh. No need to be so dramatic. Why stress over nothing? He was young, plenty of fish in the sea. He’d just got to find someone good enough, someone right, someone with a correct checklist. What else was he supposed to want from a partner?

Finally finished another chapter of Liam An, my ongoing novella that mixes superheroes with Lovecraftian horror. Last chapter, Liam, the protagonist, threw a drag party to draw in the potential culprit behind mysterious cases of missing people who lost memories, and ran into Wesley, his ex. However, it seems like Wesley does not remember their relationship, or even the fact that Liam, and Wesley himself, are gay.

Full chapter under the cut, or read on my website!

Liam An 4: Ill Correction

Intro post Chapter 1: Executive Intervention Chapter 2: Hall Business Chapter 3: Trench Complications

Yeah the guy was cute, sure, but come on. How could Adrianna not see this coming? How did she miss this? She poked at a pea on her plate, chasing it around with the fork as she racked her brains for the signs she could have missed. He was polite, appropriately flirtatious, though maybe a little stilted at times, but overall he seemed like a functioning adult man?

“This crazy thing happened that night at the bar, you won’t believe this mum,” Wesley, the adult man in question, still had a lot to go through, apparently. “I ran into this dude, Liam, used to know him. Absolutely crazy, flinging shit around and shouting and all, but it didn’t matter, because she texted me back!” Adrianna shot her head up and looked over; finally, he noticed her—oh. Never mind, already back to talking with mum. “I was elated, mum! Couldn’t believe it. Right away I—”

Adrianna doubted it even mattered she said anything or not; the past half hour was torturous. How long did dinners usually last? An hour? Two? Maybe if she was less desperate, she could have realised that being invited to a ‘cool and chill’ dinner with the parents at the family home after two weeks was a very glaring sign. Meeting the parents often meant the whole night, but that was the more serious type of parent-meeting. Right? Maybe this ‘chill’ one could do with an hour and a half? Would she need to climb out a window? Break her ankle? It was honestly tempting.

And to think she thought it was cute, that it couldn’t be this bad, not everyone grew distant from their parents, close ties with family could be a green flag, and oh god, she could just hear the group chats having a fantastic time flaying her ass until dawn tonight.

“—watched it, yes! Starlight is a very good cinema! Drinks were a little pricey, but there were—”

The mum—her white hair was gorgeous, honestly—was listening to her son with stars in her eyes, chin in one hand, fork in the other, her plate basically untouched, her attention devoted to her son regaling his apparently rapturous dates with Adrianna. Classic red plaid table cloth, maximalist plates and silverware, the white vase with sunflowers on the mid-century cabinets at the back… Fine, Adrianna could imagine the two of them framed in a very sweet, aww-inducing painting, and fine, maybe Adrianna wasn’t that close with her own parents, maybe her parents weren’t invested enough in her life, but was there not a more appropriate time and place for a conversation like this? You know, not in front of the date? Hello?

“—We did check out the park! Nice and sunny, just a little breezy—”

Maybe she could retry a chat with the dad?

He was sitting across the table from her, still deathly quiet. Eyes still daggers ready for blood. Still looking like she trampled over the family graves or something heinous, who even knew. Definitely not Adrianna.

She tried a sweet smile.

The daggers sharpened.

Or not.

Adrianna ducked her head and chased the pea with her fork again. Slip sliding around the plate all wet, slathered in salad dressing. At least it was having a better time than she was.

***

Wesley turned off the music from the car radio on the drive by himself back home. He wanted some silence to think.

He didn’t blame Adrianna for not wanting to meet again, not really. Disappointed, yes; it had been two weeks, after all, and he was excited to show her to his parents, but he didn’t blame her, not for how cold dad was. Mum was enthusiastic, but why did dad not like her that much? An office job doing things with computers, so it wasn’t like she was a partying, unemployed gold digger or anything.

Oh she could party alright, but still, she was presentable tonight, no? She didn’t show too much skin or whatever. Not that Wesley would complain. Or that he had anything to complain about her. Nice breasts, slim waist, long flowing hair, she checked everything on the list. Nothing was wrong.

Or was there? He grunted. His parents had high standards, after all. But what were they? Somewhere within, Wesley felt a fleeting ghost of a worry, a whisper that he was missing something important. But its fingers were weak and limp, barely applying the weakest pressure on his throat, enough to hitch his breath for but a second, not quite strong enough for him to stop, for him to hang onto, for him to stop and scream for what was missing.

Huh. No need to be so dramatic. Why stress over nothing? He was young, plenty of fish in the sea. He’d just got to find someone good enough, someone right, someone with a correct checklist.

What else was he supposed to want from a partner?

II.

Brett fiddled over some notebooks from the side table, heaping a couple onto his lap, flipping over them as though he was looking for specific pages, gauging the vibe from his peripheral vision in the most uncomfortable armchair in the history of psychotherapist armchairs. Those wooden yet cushioned creatures—such a paradoxical existence—would have to do a lot of heavy lifting to make a room like this more comfortable, more breathable, no matter how well-ventilated and filled with sunlight and calming décor it was; not with clients looking like these.

Their platinum hair was lush, expertly styled, effortlessly crowning bright, wizened faces with but a few wrinkles, and only the fashionable ones. And clothing? Dark, of immaculate, no doubt premium textiles that warmed the body but fenced the soul, guarding intimacy only for a select few. If Alan was still here, Brett would have joined him in casting them as some sort of middle-class extras, ones that exuded the arrogant comfort only afforded by a lifetime unsoiled by hard work but undoubtedly stilted by decorum and etiquette.

He chastised himself; that was unfair. Hardships come in different shades, plaguing hearts and minds across class and generational divides. They were in his office, after all, and not even looking at each other. Joshua Flament was drilling a hole in the left wall with his gaze, and Mary Atkinson’s frown was setting ablaze the window behind Brett.

He stole a glance at the tealight candle burning patiently on the cabinet next to the full-length mirror leaning against the wall to his right.

Its reflection darkened, the lighting and colour dropping a shade colder.

His heart skipped a beat. He’s here.

Brett didn’t know why the Man in the Mirror was interested in these two. Letting him watch what was going to unfold was obviously not ethical, but when presented with the choice Brett found it wasn’t even a dilemma for him. Alan was worth any price.

Right, time to get this started. Brett picked a sheet from a notebook like he found what he was looking for, grabbed a pen, and clicked it. “Thank you for your patience, Mr. and Mrs. Flament. I understand you came with concerns for your son Wesley, who’s not here today. What’s troubling you?”

Joshua pried his eyes from the wall and threw their gaze at his wife. Mary stopped burning the world outside the window with her mind and glared at her husband, who rolled his eyes and turned to Brett. “Our son is seeing a woman.”

“Which is a great thing!” Mary exclaimed. “It’s a divine miracle—”

“It is not!” Joshua turned to Brett. “He came out to us as gay ten years ago, and—”

“And I told you then, which you agreed with me back then as well by the way, that it was a phase!” Brett managed a straight face when Mary looked back at him. “I keep telling him he’s upset for no reason. I prayed for our son’s salvation every single day since, and finally, God rewarded His faithful.”

Joshua looked offended. “Did you even mean it when you told him you love him? Was it through gritted teeth and crossed fingers? Christ, Mary!”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I do! Love the sinner, not the sin. God works in mysterious ways, and he tested our faith over this difficult decade. You should be more grateful, Josh, and not insult His grace by wasting time and money on…” She looked around his office and somehow managed to bypass him completely, fingers vaguely feeling for something foul in the air. “On whatever this is.”

Wow. Like Brett wasn’t even there at all.

“This is our son, and I thought you would want to be more involved in having a professional opinion on our son’s wellbeing.”

“Should have been more steadfast in your faith instead, Josh.”

“Why did you even agree to go with me, then?”

Mary spared Brett a glance, then back at her husband. “I don’t agree with you. Our son is fine, he’s recovering. But if this will let you sleep soundly, then a few hours are okay to pass.”

Joshua rubbed his face, almost pleading, before giving up and turned back to Brett. “Our son came out to us way back when. It took us, or me at least,” he cast another accusing glance at his wife, who rolled her eyes again, “a few difficult years to come to terms with it, to learn and to understand. Now he’s acting like he was never into men at all.”

Mary shrugged. “Or he came to his senses and realised he actually does like women.”

“That’s absolutely not what happened Mary! Can you imagine the boy not even recognising the name Liam? ‘Oh the guy I used to go to college with, what about him?’ That Liam wasn’t just ‘some guy;’ we spent years trying to… trying to break them apart, Brett. And breaking our boy in the process. And realising how much I was hurting him.

“Now he scrunches his face at the name like something offensive… something disgusting. Like the face I must have made when he first brought up the notion that he’d prefer the company of men to women. Like when… like when I was still yelling at him. God, I was not a good dad, but… partying all night? Picking up girls at bars like a sleazy, uneducated brute? Even graduate Wesley was not that much of an excuse of a man. It would be one thing for him to come out as bisexual, but this… this acting like he was never gay to begin with, is him back in the closet, or even something worse.”

Mary waved a hand. “Why does it even matter, Josh? He was happy with the girl, isn’t that what’s important?”

“Was he, Mary? Was he? He didn’t even look at her that night, he was talking to you. Reporting every minutiae on how much of a lady-killer he was being. What if he got into a cult? What if she got him into a cult and brainwashed him?” Joshua looked at him. “How do I know my son was not brainwashed? I… I don’t know what my son is going through. How do I know if he’s OK?”

Brett rushed in the last few words of his furious scribbling onto his notes and put down his pen. At the periphery of his vision, the darkening had departed from the mirror, and so did the candle flame, a wisp of smoke rising from its wick. There had been no wind; the window was closed.

His work was satisfactory.

“Why are you smiling?” Joshua asked, frowning.

Brett looked back at the elderly man. “Ah, I’m always happy to see parents caring this much about their children. I myself don’t have that,” he didn’t bother looking at Mary; she wasn’t interested, and he doubted she’d be returning anyway. “It does sound concerning for your son, and there’s a lot to go through there. Let’s start, shall we?”

***

That evening, when the sun had set completely, no light adorned that same room except for candle flames, dancing gently by the dozens on the windowsill, on the desk, and the cabinets.

Brett lit the last of the candles and stood before the mirror. It was like looking down at a lake from a dock after nightfall. Lanterns only lit your path on land; their light breached not the domain of the deep, not strong enough to assure you nothing was staring back.

His work was satisfactory, Brett told himself. There was nothing to worry about. He put down the lighter, took a deep breath, and said to the empty room where sunlight had forsaken, “Mirror Man, Mirror Man, come to my mirror, Mirror Man.”

In the mirror, the candle flames winked away into the darkness. If it was like a lake before, then the lakebed had collapsed into an abyss. Its surface rippled, not like from a sudden breeze, but from undercurrents, of something moving, emerging. Then a shape of a man formed in the mirror before Brett, wearing an immaculately fitting tailored suit as black as the deepest night, and a tie as red as the finest wine. Shadows concealed his face, but where his eyes should be the candles once again danced, twin pinpricks of lanterns, of crackling promises.

Brett cast his head down; he did not dare look into those eyes for too long. “Thank you for coming, Man in the Mirror. I hope I did well this morning?”

A rumbling voice replied. “You did. I have what I needed. Payment was satisfactory.” There was a pause; a pressure Brett did not realise was on him lifted. “Seeing you called me here, I assume this is where you wish my service rendered?”

Brett lifted his head. The candle eyes returned their gaze on him, and the pressure returned. But the deep did not feel cold or biting. It was warm, comfortable. Safe. “Yes… I…” He struggled with sudden need, eyes again yanked downward. “I want to remember. Our first night.”

“That can be arranged. Is that what you desire as completion for our transaction, Brett Crawford?”

It was the easiest answer. “Yes.”

“Then when you are ready to conclude business, Brett Crawford, look into my eyes.”

He took a breath and looked up again. The instant his eyes met the pinpricks of candles, his mind fell forward. It rushed past the horrid flashes of the last night at the hospital, past the night of the accident, past the many anniversaries, the many fights and the many laughs, to the first months… the first night.

The onslaught was over the moment it started, and once again Brett was back in his office. Half the candles had whisked away, the rest casting frantic shadow tendrils on the walls, flinging to a silent tune of manic ecstasy.

Before him stood the Man in the Mirror in the flesh, but he wasn’t in the suit and tie as he was in the mirror. Perhaps it was the play of shadows and candlelight, but to Brett he had on the exact button up and jeans that Alan wore that night, when Brett was staying late for work and Alan offered to bring over dinner. They had just been seeing each other for a few weeks, and it was such a sweet gesture, and he smelled so good then, like spice, like tobacco, like fragrant sweat and immense tang and exactly like what his nose was savouring here and now.

Brett gripped the ledge of the desk like a lifeline. His booming heart commanded him to step forward, but his feet were leadened with fear, fear of somehow shattering the candlelit dream before him. But the dream, oh it did not shatter, it took his trembling hand and placed it on that chest. There under his palm Brett felt the right fabric, the right warmth and hardness, drowning in the right scent, his head swimming in all the ways the light and shadow caressed the little he could see of the face before him being so right, so correct.

“You’re not him, I know you’re not,” his voice broke, “but oh God, I want to believe.”

Warm breath breezed through his lips, tasting like the red Alan brought that night. Shimmering eyes held his gaze. “Tonight, you are allowed to. Tonight, I am not the ghost from the mirror. Tonight, Brett Crawford, history is just a bad dream. Tonight, forget what hurt and remember what didn’t. Tonight, Brett, call me Alan.”

“Alan,” he let go of the ledge and leaped into an open embrace, landing on warm cotton and cologne that were very much still there, very much did not vanish. “Alan. Oh God, I miss you so much.”

Large tender hands held his face, fingers and lips burrowing through his hair, dragging burning wetness down across his forehead, his cheek, and nestled in his ear, imparting soft murmurs like oak, like honey, like crackling lantern flames promising the moon itself, in a voice not from the mirror, but the voice robbed from him for many years too long.

Alan told him, “I am here, love. And I missed you, too.”

III.

Wesley was huffing and puffing his way down the stairs to the gym’s showers in the basement, furious. Weights and sweats were supposed to let off steam, but an hour of strenuous work later he was just more pissed off. Why were there so many people? Especially the guys. Yeah yeah, they were buff, they were good-looking, they lifted heavy, they were huge, he got it, got it loud and clear, now could they not get off his face?

Not that they were rude or anything; they were perfectly polite, courteous even, but Wesley was still pissed for some reason. All this lifting didn’t make him any less agitated, just made it worse.

What a waste of time. At least the showers were downstairs so he could walk away for a bit.

Wesley spun around the corner of the exposed concrete of the stair rails, and almost ran into a half-naked man if he didn’t catch himself.

Or not.

“Woah there, buddy!” The annoyingly smiley man said, built like a brick wall, because of fucking course he was; there was just a towel loosely hanging onto a very slim waist, underlining a very defined stomach, and Wesley doubted the guy would even mind if it dropped.

Of course Wesley would mind! God, why was he so irritated?

The guy raised his palms defensively, backing off; Wesley realised then he was glaring murder at him. “Good evening,” the man hesitantly nodded, looking apprehensive at Wesley’s frown, and walked off to the drawers.

Wesley sighed, frustrated, mostly with himself now. The gym wasn’t a strange territory to him, seeing sweaty half-naked men there wasn’t new to him. Why had the past few weeks been so weird? Liam turning out to be a fag out of nowhere, Adrianna dropping him, failing his parents again… It was like something tectonic shifted beneath his feet, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what went out of place, or missing.

He stripped in the thankfully empty locker room, trying to calm his breath by focusing on the scents of air freshener and sports shampoo, the sterile white tiles, the straight cut wood panels, all clean and orderly and correct and maddening. He wrapped on a towel and left for the showers. Christ, maybe he could look up those hippy places where you could go smash stuff?

He stopped by the sink, catching his half-naked reflection, tiny in the yawning, massive minimalist mirror. Wesley was sweaty, like the lot of the men upstairs, though obviously not as big or built; he didn’t look too bad himself, but hold on. Why was he breathing so hard? Almost hyperventilating?

Wesley felt like nails were scratching from the inside of his chest, like he should be feeling something, but he didn’t know what.

What was wrong with him? What was missing?

The lights went out in the bathroom.

Not all of them did, but enough that darkness undraped around him. There were no commotions he could hear above, so surely this was just an electrical fault, nothing to worry about. But Wesley’s eyes locked in on the mirror, now like a vast still lake, at the somehow still illuminated but shadow-shrouded, naked reflection that seemed to fray at the edges before him. It had to be his own—it was a mirror after all—but the man in the mirror had the size he didn’t have, with muscular definition that rippled and mesmerised and Wesley thought of Liam.

He thought of Liam, he thought of Liam naked, of Liam under him, on top of him, of whispers and touches that clawed and burned. He gasped, clutching at his head, but the images blackened his vision with nauseating memories he did not have, laughs he did not remember, Liam in his arms, face buried in the nape of his neck, wet hot tears and choking sobs and wracking, retching guilt, oh God they are my parents, Liam, I cannot do this, I’m sorry, you will find someone else, I will miss you, and that voice, oh that voice.

That voice, telling him he will miss him too.

A voice so alien yet so familiar, a forgotten comfort, something engrooved by the weight of years then ripped out and discarded, only rust marks left behind. It was a younger voice, one Wesley heard just a few weeks back older, more matured, more hardened in the alley at the back of that stupid bar, a voice laced with anger and hurt, asking him, accusing him, what were they?

What were they, Wesley?

They were friends, what else could they be?

But the nails inside his chest must have drawn blood, because there was pain, but also sorrow, so much sorrow, so much of it that he could not understand what for. Wesley clung onto the edge of the sink, but lost grip, knees planting on the tiled floor. Bleary eyes showed him phantoms: the lights were gone, but the reflection in the mirror above him still stood tall, flickering as though lit by house fires; a reflection of a man, eyes of smouldering crimson flames glaring down at him.

A naked, beautiful man.

A naked, beautiful Liam.

Wesley did not know how he could possibly have known; after all, he'd never seen Liam naked now, did he? But that chest, that body screamed familiar. It screamed at him, and Wesley too wanted to scream back not in recognition, but that this was wrong, wrong, wrong, something bad, a horrible, ill thing to be corrected away, but those crimson eyes were relentless, blazing past the terror and demand to be right and correct and slammed straight into his heart.

It thumped.

Wesley clutched at his chest. In the split-second ringing of that drumbeat within, he understood what had been missing.

Adrianna checked the list, Adrianna was correct, the way he was corrected. From what, he could not remember, but his bones ached in the hollowness left behind, the lack of something primal, something essential, the absence of histories erased, of decades washed away.

In that heartbeat, there were no lists to check. In that heartbeat there was only a swansong of want. It was not right. It was not correct. But it rang like thunder.

It rang true.

Somewhere within, a tripwire snapped. Pain seared through him like fire, and nothing else registered. Wesley again remembered nothing, nothing but blinding, all-consuming rage.

IV.

Fuck! That did not get through to him! Inside the Glasslit Void, Liam discarded the illusion of his naked body off his Shard Reaper body suit and jumped through the mirror, landing on the tiled floor of the gym bathroom. Wesley was writhing on the floor, screams mixing up with choked cries as his body contorted in on itself.

“Wesley!” Liam rushed over and knelt down, reaching for his mind. It was a frantic, incoherent mess, and the heart he managed to pry open was a dwindling inferno. The lights flickered hard; shadows fought over their dimming brightness. Show was over; this was no longer necessary. He willed the darkness back to the Void.

The darkness did not respond.

Wesley was crying out, but it was a bestial sound. Black shards flipped in and out throughout his body, shadows coalescing around him, alien, shining black tendrils squirming over themselves, rushing towards his chest where the fire was fading. Liam strained his will, commanding the shadows back.

They did not budge.

These were not his darkness. These came from elsewhere.

“Wesley, Wesley,” Liam tried. “Remember! Hold on to it! Do not let go—”

The flame inside Wesley snuffed out. A shockwave blasted from the core of the once-again vanquished man, pushing Liam back.

All the ruckus must have been loud enough, because there were heavy footsteps pounding down the stairs. Liam snapped his neck back to catch two guys with only towels on, three others still in their workout clothes shining fresh sheens of sweat, barging into the carnage he was now in the middle of.

He shouted. “Evacuate now! This is Hall business!”

They looked behind him, eyes widened, and ran back out.

Liam looked back. Before him, whimpering, in a form that was barely human, was an amalgamation of blackened, writhing glass shards that frayed into nasty fibrils and coiled back into themselves by the second. Gelled black ink bled from the shifting cracks, and in the ashes of the extinguished radiance in his chest, a crucifix of rusting nails jammed through his heart.

That did not look good.

Ending on bad terms or not, it pained him to see anyone like this.

Liam tapped the side of his head. “Jamie, do you copy?”

His earpiece replied. “Roger, Shard Reaper. Status report?”

“I’ve located Wesley Flament. He is… unresponsive, potentially turning hostile. Request backup on standby. We’re at Palm Bay Gym, Eastcourt.”

“Any civilians?”

“Yes, it’s quite busy. I’ve told them to evacuate, trying to control the target now.”

The Wesley-formed bundle of shifting shards and fibrils and bleeding, fraying black goo rose up. It turned around, hungry, empty eye sockets stared at him, the same pits that stared him into paralysis behind the Trench a few weeks back, now simmering with rage.

Liam hurried. “Actually, dispatch backup ASAP. This is looking nasty.”

The Wesley-thing roared and sprinted at him. With mirrored spikes, holy fuck.

“Reaper! What’s happening?”

He shouted, “Jamie, get help here now!” and ducked to the side.

Wesley-Thing slammed head-first into the mirrored wall. Glass smashed against glass, a thousand splinters spraying all over the pristine bathroom. Liam pounded the steps up the stairs back to the gym ground floor.

Gym bros, jocks, men in tight-fitting shirts and shorts looked at him, their faces in various stages of concern and uncertainty, but apparently not enough to forfeit their lifting session for the night.

He shouted. “Why are you all still here?! Hall of Heroes containment in progress! Evacuate now!”

Some stood up and started leisurely packing away their stuff. The rest went back to their sets.

Jesus Christ. Liam took a deep breath, gathered his will, and in a snap plunged the entire gym floor into heavy shadow except for emergency lights, which brightened like miniature lighthouses in a sudden storm. Then with a massive psychic blast, the Shard Reaper unleashed visions of spiders, snakes, all manners of creepy crawlers, indeterminate contorting screaming faces flooding the vision and mind of everyone. His voice boomed, “LEAVE. NOW.”

And now there were screams and running, people finally scrambling off benches, machines and racks. Thank you.

Wesley-Thing pounded up the stairs, roaring; more people screamed, everyone picking up their pace dashing for the exit. The dimness did not deter the Thing’s vision; its head locked in on Liam immediately and started sprinting.

He jumped into a mirror and out the other side of the gym floor.

The Thing corrected its course, and charged at him again.

The Shard Reaper was not a fighter; Liam used his mind to intimidate, manipulate, and quite often seduce his way to his objectives. His muscles were just for show, and the only pounding he was proficient in was not the physically violent type; that he left for other Heroes of the Hall. Now there was an inhuman thing in the vague shape of his first love charging at him at full-speed, and the violent pounders of the Hall had yet to show their faces.

He could just fuck off to the Glasslit Void and wait it out, but that would risk Wesley-Thing turning its attention on the escaping gym goers.

Okay, this better work.

Liam backed away slowly. Wesley-Thing kept its charge, roaring all the way, all sunken eyes and a pit for mouth, grating shards shining a sickening darkness, coiling around the damn crucifix.

The rest of the gym goers had evacuated. When the Thing was a few paces away, he cut off the lights completely, and slipped into the sudden darkness.

The Thing hit empty air, and from the shadows Liam landed on its back. In one smooth motion, he wrapped his legs around its waist, spun around, and pinned it down on the floor, straddling on top.

Bedroom gymnastics had limited cross-disciplinary applications.

Before the Thing could get its bearing, Liam yanked the crucifix off its chest, drawing a sharp gasp. He threw it off the side, hitting the carpeted floor with a thud, and withdrew the darkness from the lights. In artificial dawn, whimpering underneath him was Wesley, eyes red and wet.

“Liam?”

Oh thank god. “Wesley? Wesley, can you hear me?”

A trembling hand reached for him. Wesley’s face crumbled as he sobbed. “Please help. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

Liam caught the hand with both of his. “We will, I promise we will, okay? Help is coming. The Hall will be here soon, and we will—”

Red wet eyes collapsed back into hungry pits. Trembling lips slit open wide, too wide, into a mad grin filled with pointed teeth that rolled over themselves like gears in a machine. “You thought it was that easy, didn’t you?”

Fuck! He gripped the Thing’s wrists. “What the fuck are you? What have you done to Wesley?”

“Hello to you too, Shard Reaper. Or should I say, Liam?”

He froze.

“Good thinking on the crucifix, but that’s more decorative than anything, sorry boo. And don’t worry, I’m not ratting you out, where’s the fun in that? I’m very keen on you, Reaper, and your mirrors. This is getting real interesting.”

The windows smashed in. Yellow Watch landed, wings spread wide knocking over benches and weights, shimmering hammer in his hand. Oathbearer rolled off his back, unsheathing her giant sword. The Eye of Magnus followed in from outside, the green halo radiating from his staff softening as he landed softly a few paces nearby. They started running over to him.

“Looks like our chat is unfortunately short,” the Thing said. “Lovely meeting you, Shard Reaper, we will meet again. I shall leave you a parting gift.”

“You are going nowhere—”

Wesley’s back jerked up with a sickening crack and a soul-wrenching cry. His eyes were human again, wide in utter terror, helpless when his neck snapped to the side, cutting short the scream.

His wrists in Liam’s hands went limp, too weak to hang on to what was missing, what was corrected away.

“Wesley? Wesley!”

#writeblr #my writing #original writing #queer sff #queer horror #gay fiction #lovecraftian #cw: slurs #cw: conversion therapy #liam an

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dancing-to-architecture · 1 year ago

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43 - Genesis - Selling England By The Pound

Sing it with me now, you all know the words: "This is another album I've never heard, from a band I'm otherwise quite familiar with."

Oh good... 8 songs on a 53 minute long album. I'm getting a vision of a double record with 2 whole songs per album side.

•Dancing With The Moonlit Knight-

Oh wait, shit, I think I put on King Crimson again.. nope, no, my bad. This is Genesis, I guess.

Are you sure? Cause this REALLY feels like King Crimson. Or maybe Emerson, Lake, and Palmer?

Either way, I'm really digging it. I only knew Genesis as way more pop and way less prog.

Legitimately had no idea these guys had this kind of stuff in their catalog.

I mean, Peter Gabriel, sure, but Phil Collins? No way.

•I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)-

This feels VERY Peter Gabriel solo album, instrumentation-wise. He's always using the percussion instrument that I can never identify that goes "poing" in a low tone.

Lyrics feel very Phil. I really hate the title of this song. At best, they're sharing clothing, which is cool and good. At worst, it's Depeche Mode's Blue Dress but far creepier.

•Firth of Fifth-

Is this going to be about the bridge? No that was the firth of *forth*. Ah, so it's a pun.

Crazy math rock piano intro.

If this is a King Crimson album, this song is Moonchild. Slow, overly long, with weird, obtuse purple prose lyrics and a soft flute section for no good goddamn reason.

I do like the guitar work around 6:30 to the 7:30-8 minute mark, but again it feels Crimson-esque. Maybe not IN or OF the Court of the Crimson King itself, exactly, but certainly of a nearby duchy.

•More Fool Me-

This is just a tone poem.

It's pretty enough, but damn if this 3 minute long song feels longer than the previous 9 minute long song.

•The Battle of Epping Forest-

Perfectly normal to have old-timey wild west saloon piano plunking right next to spacey-ass synths in your interminable prog epic about a gang war.

Phil, bby, what is you doing.

(A note: ELP did this whole idea better with Benny the Bouncer, in the same year, in a song that's *10 full minutes* shorter.)

•After the Ordeal-

A pretty instrumental, which is quite the relief after 12+ minutes of semi-obscure early 70s British references I don't have any frame of reference for.

•The Cinema Show-

Another slow, long intro. I'm already not feeling this one.

Let's bring up Romeo and Juliet and then go nowhere with that. That's what they call "good writing".

Okay, the end gets really cool and synthy and almost sinister, and I'm enjoying it. Just a shame it took us 8 ½ minutes to get there.

•Aisle of Plenty-

Well, it's a song built entirely around a "Tesco" pun. Woof. At least it's not very long.

Yeah, I can see why Genesis went pop.

If you want a good British progressive rock album from 1973, just listen to Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's album "Brain Salad Surgery".

Everything here is done better there, including: "random old timey piano", "Very British Subject Matter", and "more than two incredibly long songs on a <10 track album", except all of ELP's songs absolutely fuck, the music is complex but actually interesting to listen to, and the cover art is by H.R. Giger.

I'll say it: the first 3 minutes of Toccata is superior to any section of this entire album, change my mind.

In fact, hell with it. This one's over, I'm putting Brain Salad on right now.

Favorite Track: After the Ordeal.

Yeah yeah, take a shot, 'cause Craig likes the instrumental the best. Who'd have figured. No disrespect to Mr Collins, but the man desperately needed an editor on this album.

Least Favorite Track: The Cinema Slow. I mean Show. (No, I lied, I really mean slow.)

To use a cinematic reference, Tarkovsky's Stalker feels fast-paced in comparison.

In The Air Tonight, this ain't.

#1001 albums #dancing to architecture #Genesis #Selling England By The Pound

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vintagegeekculture · 4 years ago

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Who are the “Venoms Mob?”

Well, first things first: if you go to China and talk about the 5 Venoms, or the Venoms Mob, they’ll have absolutely no idea who you’re talking about there, because that’s a fandom-term among US Kung Fu cult movie fans.

In Hong Kong, the Venoms are known as director Chang Cheh’s Weapons Expert Troupe, a group of five lifelong friends, martial artists, bodybuilders, exotic weapons experts, and trained acrobats who did at least a dozen movies for manly man Kung Fu director Chang Cheh in the 1970s and 1980s. They were the real deal: they usually choreographed their own fight scenes, which often involved flips and crazy stunts due to their acrobat training, high-wire acts, and unusual and exotic weaponry not typically seen even in martial arts movies. It’s like every single one of them drank the Captain America potion. Their films tended to end in heroic sacrifices, and the Venoms, for all their athleticism and daring, tended to be identifiable people on the bottom end of the societal ladder: homeless drifters, refugees, itinerant hobos, traveling performers, or restaurant workers.

The Venoms were stars in the US, particularly among the black community who love Chinese martial arts movies, not just because of their truly breathtaking skill and choreography, but because they are how most people feel they are, secretly, deep down: rams among sheep. They are the poor, downtrodden, or average person who decides “not to take it anymore” after untold indignities. This is also why the Venoms are especially important to the black community. In fact, if you want to know how much the Venoms mean to their fans, just go up to nearly any Black Dad over 45+ and ask about the “5 Venoms.”

Chang Cheh, Director of the Venoms

The best way to describe the director and writer of the Venoms films, Chang Cheh is that he is basically Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia if he decided to make Gladiator and loved Sergio Leone and Kurasawa.

The director and writer of the Venoms movies, and maybe the most significant name in the history of Kung Fu cinema apart from Bruce Lee, Chang Cheh was towering enough that Quentin Tarantino dedicated Kill Bill Part 2 to Chang Cheh in the closing credits. It would not be inaccurate to say he invented the Kung Fu movie as we know it, with its training montages, mentor-student relationships, all cut with themes of vengeance, noble self-sacrifice, and rebellion of poor and ordinary people against unjust authority.

Chang Cheh’s life story is fascinating. His father was a warlord during the Republican Era between the World Wars, which must have made for an interesting school career day. He started as a film critic and became a screenwriter, then from being a screenwriter, became a director. I wonder if that is the reason that Chang Cheh was so fascinated by themes of masculinity and male bonding, as the arty, openly gay movie critic son of a central Asian warlord had a nearly impossible standard of masculinity to live up to.

The two Western movies that are, thematically, the closest to Chang Cheh are Gladiator and Saving Private Ryan, and if you like both of those movies, you’ll probably like him. His heroes are often James Dean-like angry young men, poor and at the outskirts of society. His movies tend to end in heroic self-sacrifice for a noble cause, and tend to have themes of vengeance, arty blood red slaughter, and a distrust of authority and government of any kind. He loves bloodshed and thinks violence is beautiful; an image that comes up often is someone in an all white outfit that gets covered in blood, an arty view of violence similar to his two biggest influences, Sergio Leone and Kurosawa. Like the Shawshank Redemption, Chang Cheh movies are essentially ensemble pieces about the friendships and close comradely bonds of brotherhood between men. Very few women of any kind have extensive speaking parts in his movies.

Another movie that also summarizes Chang Cheh would be 300. Remember that Sarah Silverman bit where she said that “300 is the answer to the question, how gay is this movie on a scale of 1 to 10?” Not just because it is about an entirely male cast, or about finding fulfillment in noble self-sacrifice and heroism Alamo-style against desperate odds, but also because it’s about glorifying the male body, with tons of abs and pecs. I suppose I should mention here that Chang Cheh’s movies are profoundly homoerotic, and discussion of their homoeroticism is the major way film academics talk about these movies. How many scenes in Cheh’s movies are about dudes hanging out with their shirts off, flexing their muscles? Or about “brothers” who clasp each other on the shoulder while looking longingly into each other’s eyes in a shot-reverse shot? The only meaningful relationship in his movies are male ones. I dislike passing on cheap gossip, but by all accounts it’s actually an open secret in the Hong Kong film industry that Chang Cheh was homosexual and lived with other men.

Yi Kuang -Screenwriter of the Venoms

The screenwriter of nearly all the Venoms movies, much like Chang Cheh, Yi Kuang had an interesting life. He was a Communist Party officer who went to Inner Mongolia, where his primary job was writing death sentences for landlords. Once idealistic, he left disillusioned with the Chinese Communist Party, and a remained a die-hard anticommunist. Evil bureaucrats tend to show up in his stories often for that reason, and a common theme of his scripts is the anger of ordinary people against distant, unapproachable authorities. There’s no understanding Venoms films without their screenwriter. Chang Cheh started as a screenwriter and wrote his movies, but Yi Kuang was his most frequent partner.

Interestingly, Yi Kuang got famous long after for writing a series of supernatural and horror novels called the Mr. Wisely books, where a traditional Chinese medicine expert fights for sites of power charged with Feng Shui. It’s interesting to see his turn to the supernatural, sorcery, and ghosts as an overreaction to his distaste for Marxist materialism. Of all the Venoms films, the one that shows his influence the strongest was the one the Venoms fight an evil human sacrifice devil cult, Masked Avengers.

The Hero – Kuo Chui

A guy with a big smile and a body carved out of marble, Kuo Chui started as a circus acrobat before becoming a stuntman and then a leading actor. He was the Venom with the strongest and most natural screen presence, the one that was the most “movie star.” In fact, he was almost always the hero and central character of Venoms movies, usually playing the most levelheaded and strategic minded of the group.

Kuo Chui deserves some credit also for being the one Venom to actually direct a movie himself, Ninja in the Deadly Trap. This sounds like a heck of a leap, but in Hong Kong, nearly all choreographers also direct their fight scenes. It’s no surprise that a common career path in Hong Kong cinema is to go from choreographer to director (see also Chang Cheh’s ex-choreographers, Tang Chia and 36 Chambers director Liu Chia Liang)

The Bad Guy – Lu Feng

Every single movie, Lu Feng was the heel, the bad guy. I mean, heck, in Shaolin Rescuers, he even played the evil apprentice of the supreme supervillain of the martial arts, Pai Mei! But no matter what, Lu Feng was just so cool that you couldn’t help but root for him just a little bit. He was a character type common in pro wrestling: the arrogant “cool heel,” like Rick Flair and the Horsemen.

The Venoms tended to be workaday regular poor guys, but Lu Feng usually played a rich guy who oozed arrogance and menace, rather like the evil rich football player heel in college movies.

The Funny Guy – Chiang Sheng

A guy who usually played the funny young hero or a wisecracking comedy sidekick prone to wiseassery and pratfalls, Chiang Peng was the Venom who most benefited from the rise of Jackie Chan, and his introduction of silent film era inspired physical comedy into the otherwise stale Kung Fu film. Like Robin Williams, Chiang Shiang was someone who made everyone else laugh, but because he had a lot of darkness inside him, which ended up killing him. Chiang Sheng is the only Venom to not be with us, he drank himself to death after his divorce in 1991. Because of this, there can never really be a full Venoms reunion.

One of the most amazing things about Hong Kong cinema in the 70s is that the actors tended to have scraggly teeth that aren’t perfect and that seemed to be Chang Shieng’s defining trait. To be clear, I am not in any way mocking him for having bad teeth. In fact, I think it is rather winsome and endearing, like a teenager with braces.

The Tough Guy – Lo Meng

Known as the “Shaolin Hercules,” the person I’d compare Lo Meng to is Mr. Worf. Ultra-strong, humorless, intimidating, dead serious and never smiling, he was by far the most muscular and powerful of the Venoms, with tons of machismo and swagger, “big dick energy” as the kids say today. The camera tends to linger on his oiled up biceps and chest in extreme close-up…but was also, usually, the first to die in nearly all of these films. Much like how Worf was the toughest guy ever, but usually got beat up a lot so the writers could show that the situation was serious. In fact, Lo Meng, still in great shape, was in Ip Man 4, where, not one to break with a tradition, he was the first guy to get his ass beat in the film, even in a movie made in the Year of Our Lord 2020.

Lo Meng tends to be the “backup main hero” and was even the main character in films like 2 Champions of Shaolin. He had the most impressive “solo” film career apart from the other Venoms. Like Geri Halliwell, he left the Venoms to do his own thing, which is why the defining trait of the later Venom films is that he wasn’t there.

Lo Meng wasn’t Taiwanese like the other Venoms, and was a native of Hong Kong. In fact, he got his start in the film industry not as a stuntman or muscleman, but as an accountant for the Shaw Brothers studios, and he lifted weights and did Praying Mantis Kung Fu as a hobby. That’s…that’s hilarious. Reminds me of that fake Simpsons movie, Undercover Nerd with Renier Wolfcastle:

The Wild Card – Chun Shieng

Would YOU trust this man? I wouldn’t. He betrayed the Toad!

That’s Chun Shieng for you, the wild card Venom who could “go either way” and so wasn’t an entirely trustworthy ally.

Allow me to correct a misconception I’ve seen in a lot of places: Chun is sometimes known as “the one Korean Venom.” He isn’t Korean but Chinese, but he was trained in Korea and is a Tae Kwon Do expert, unlike the other Venoms, who studied Chinese Kung Fu and Peking Opera. And it certainly shows: he always fights with a kick-heavy Tae Kwon Do style that does not look much like any Kung Fu at all.

#kung fu #martial arts #shaw brothers #70s #5 venoms

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introvertguide · 4 years ago

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Bonnie and Clyde (1967); AFI #42

The next film that we covered for the group was the period true- crime drama, Bonnie and Clyde (1967). It is the story of the notorious Barrow gang, led by Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker, during the American Great Depression. This film features a cavalcade of some of Hollywood's biggest actors including Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, and Gene Hackman. It is supposedly quite accurate because some of the witnesses and even a couple of the gang members of the actual crimes were still alive during the production of the film. Actress Estelle Parsons won Best Supporting Actress for he portrayal of Blanche Barrow, which I would like to comment on. I also want to speak a little to the accuracy of the story, but first I want to spoil the plot of the film.

SPOILER WARNING!!!! I AM GOING TO REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE SO I CAN COMPARE TO WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE ACTUAL HISTORY!!! THE MOVIE AND THE REAL LIFE STORY WILL BE SPOILED COMPLETELY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

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In the middle of the Great Depression, Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) and Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) of Texas meet when Clyde tries to steal the car belonging to Bonnie's mother. Clyde had spotted Bonnie hanging out in her room naked from the heat, and she spotted him watching her and was intrigued by the danger. Bonnie is bored by her job as a waitress, which Clyde correctly guesses, and decides to take up with him and become his partner in crime. They pull off some weak crimes including a bank heist at a location that has been hit by the depression and there is no money. Clyde actually makes the teller come out to the escape car and tell Bonnie what the deal is and she just laughs at the situation.

The pair find an extra man in a worldly ignorant but mechanically inclined gas station attendant named C.W. Moss (Michael Pollard). Clyde apparently has a way with words because people just join him for no real reason besides being bored. Clyde's older brother Buck (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Blanche (Estelle Parsons), a preacher's daughter, also join them. The two women dislike each other at first sight because Bonnie thinks that Blanche will ruin their fun (she does) and Blanche believes that Bonnie is evil and wants to get rid of her (she does). Keep in mind while watching this that Estelle Parsons won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for this portrayal.

Bonnie and Clyde turn from pulling small-time heists to robbing banks since they now have a full gang. Their exploits also become more violent when C.W. comically botches a bank robbery when he sees an open parking spot and decides to parallel park. He can't get out of the space quickly and he delays their escape, forcing Clyde to shoot the bank manager in the face when he jumps onto the slow-moving car's running board. The gang is pursued by law enforcement, including Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Denver Pyle), whom they capture and humiliate by taking his photo and setting afloat on a little dingy on a nearby river.

The group likes to switch out cars because they treat the getaway vehicles very rough. When they are seen stealing a car by its owner, a young man named Eugene Grizzard (Gene Wilder) and his girlfriend Velma Davis (Evans Evans), the robbed couple attempt to follow the stolen car. The gang stops and takes the couple hostage in the chase car and even pull over to get some burgers. They let the couple go when they find out they are in their 30s (too old apparently) and find a roadside stop. A raid later that night catches the outlaws off guard, mortally wounding Buck with a shot to his head and injuring Blanche so she can't see. Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. barely escape alive. With Blanche sightless and in police custody, Hamer tricks her into revealing C.W.'s name, which they use to find any safe places where the remaining gang might go (until then, C.W. was only an "unidentified suspect").

Hamer locates Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. hiding at the house of C.W.'s father Ivan (Dub Taylor), who thinks the couple have corrupted his son (as evidenced by an ornate tattoo that Bonnie convinced C.W. to get). The elder Moss strikes a bargain with Hamer: in exchange for leniency for the boy, he helps set a trap for the outlaws. When Bonnie and Clyde stop on the side of the road to help Mr. Moss fix a flat tire, the police in the bushes open fire and riddle them with bullets. Hamer and his posse come out of hiding and look pensively at the couple's bodies as a nearby flock of swallows fly away.

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This film stood out as it was a comical version of the super violent gangster films that were popular in the 30s. Storywriters David Newman and Robert Benton wanted to punch up the violence with a romantic undertone so they sent the script to French New Wave director Francois Truffaut for contributions. Warren Beatty was visiting Paris and heard about the project then decided he wanted to produce the picture. He was going to have his sister, Shirley MacLaine, play the roll of Bonnie until he decided that he was going to play the part of Clyde. That would have been really awkward, so he tried find a lead actress that he could have a romantic scene with. Many actresses were approached and Faye Dunaway was eventually chosen for the part.

Beatty decided that they needed an American director and offered that job to a plethora of established directors in Hollywood and finally landed on Arthur Penn even after he turned down the position multiple times. What it all comes down to is that not a lot of people wanted to be part of this production. It was considered somewhat of a risky art film at the time because of the questionable sexuality of Clyde and the heavy violence.

So what was so risky? Looking at films that were made only a few later, this seems rather tame. This film came out just a little before the MPAA was established and the writers had been influenced by the French films that didn't have the same restrictive film rules that were present in the United States. It was originally proposed that Clyde be played as bisexual, but the script eventually called for him to be more asexual. The real Clyde Barrow had been sexually assaulted in prison so he would have been scarred by that experience and might not have been interested in Bonnie in that way. This depth into a character's sexuality had generally been avoided in American cinema before this film and there was concern about audience reactions. They shouldn't have worried because the movie was a sleeper hit, eventually making $75 million on a $2.5 million budget.

The number of graphic murders actually shown on screen (especially when Clyde shot a guy in the face who jumped on the car during a get away) was unprecedented at the time. There was also some dismay by critics about the portrayal of Bonnie as sleazy and the whole gang as somewhat stupid. These were a bunch of uneducated folks that grew up in a time when it was more important to find a job. They were smart enough to avoid capture for years, which is shown in the movie, so they had to have some sort of intelligence.

There is a little bit of an elephant in the room with this movie and it involves the historical accuracy. The dates and crimes are well documented and a lot was known about the characters when the movie was produced. However, a major part of the movie was speculation and fabrication about the personalities in the gang. The characters that were based on living people at the time were actually the least accurate as C.W. Moss was a fictional person based on two different gang members (one who was still alive) and the actions of Blanche Barrow were based on a different member of the gang. The real Blanche Barrow lived until the 1980s and famously complained that Parsons's portrayal "made [her] look like a screaming horse's ass!" Parsons is the one the went on to win Best Supporting Actress.

This film was much more enjoyable for me on second watch. The first viewing left me hating the character of Blanche and I wondered if there was some sort of conspiracy to get that actress an Oscar. On second view, I realize that she was necessary to be a foil to the gang. There had to be a weak link in the chain and the audience knew that she would be the downfall of the group. Her presence made the police encounters all the more intense because there was this crazy wild card that could ruin everything at any time. It really adds a touch of comedy along with a bigger element of suspense. She is annoying, but enjoyable, and the people around her react to her behavior in a realistic way, so I appreciate what the character brings to the table.

I would highly suggest looking into the real life of Bonnie and Clyde along with the whole Barrow Gang because they took major advantage of the Great Depression banks, but not so much the suffering people. To some, the members of the Barrow gang were considered celebrities or even heroes because they were getting back at the banks that had mishandled so many people's money. I started my search off with this nice article on the Encyclopedia Britannica site and dug deeper to find out more about the connections between the real people and the film:

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Bonnie-and-Clyde-American-criminals

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? I absolutely think so. It has some connections to French New Wave, but it is American directed with American actors and it tells the story of some of the most notorious criminals in American history. It is also a very good film that won Oscars and was a box office success. Bonnie and Clyde are part of Americana and were almost the equivalent of a Robin Hood character to many at the time. Would I recommend this film? I would. Keep an eye out for the Blanche character because she can be annoying, but know she serves a purpose and the movie is not all about her. The connection between Bonnie and Clyde is epic and has influenced a lot of American films, so enjoy it for the cinematic quality, the history in film, and the history of the United States.

#bonnie and clyde #true crime #crime drama #warren beatty #faye dunaway #introvert #introverts #classic cinema #AFI top 100 #crime couples #famous criminals

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nikaidou-stan · 4 years ago

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MY THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING THE SANGATSU NO LION LIVE ACTION PT. 1

⚠️SPOILERS BELOW!!!⚠️ (also super long post warning?? i have a lot of thoughts sorry)

- they cremating the bodies in front of the whole family???? japanese people mad asf

- ACTUAL REPRESENTATION OF HOW A TEENAGER'S APARTMENT WOULD LOOK IF THEY LIVED ALONE IN IT

- i love how in the movie Kiriyama's almost skeletal, like you can see how loose his uniform is

- SO THE SHOGI BUILDING EXISTS IRL??? BITHC IM SHOOK

- ok Kouda's terrible and all but the actor looks so much like him it's almost scary

- Gouto in the anime 🤢 <<<<< Gouto in the live-action 😍

- wtf is up with Smith's hair like 😭 sir this is why Matsumoto chose Akari instead of u

- "even tho u don't have any friends" "I know that already." KIRIYAMA AND HAYASHIDA'S INTERACTIONS ARE SO NICE I LOVE THEM

- "since I'm a minor, I'll have a juice" boy u literally could've chosen anything else but u ordered a fucking juice. perhaps do u want some crayons and some paper too??

- it's almost embarrassing how in my country kids start drinking at like 12 yo but Kiriyama after one shot is literally dying on the concrete

- AKARI IS SO PRETTY AJNSJIFKJN

- NIKAIDOU MY BOY MY MAN MY PAL MY BROSKI I LOVE U

- also screaming in a megaphone in front of the whole school not realizing he's embarrassing his friend? big kinnie moment

- fuck yeah Hina dressing like an actual 15 yo, no more of that dress over jeans shit 🤢

- Gouto's back muscles >>>>

- MISAKI'S A WHOLE ASS MILF DAMN

- "you have great seniors" "we teach him how to get along in the society" SIMPS

- when Kyouko appears at Kiriyama's door in the anime he's like "omfg not this shit again" but in the live-action he's straight-up scared. i wonder if the director was hinting at something...

- ok no they were definitely trying to tell us something; like the body language, how he refuses to look her in the eyes... poetic cinema (but also really sad)

- THE EMOTIONS ARE SO FUCKING RAW IN THIS OMG I'M IN LOVE

- Kyouko Kouda shut the fuck hup challenge

- finally some representation of people who die after running for 50 meters

- I feel like I could enjoy this movie a fuckton more if I wasn't a highly emphatic person and if I knew how to deal with emotions

- shit, the actor who portraits Kiriyama as a child should get every prize there is

- psa that Smith canonically thinks Kiriyama's adorable

- also Akari has definitely a fat fetish like girl what the fuck is this

bestie you live with a middle schooler and a toddler, at least try to hide it

- "you're unexpectedly good looking, for a shogi player" sis you're just mad he's skinny af

- I really feel like they're exaggerating Nikaidou's character, like hurr durr look at him he's funny and he's fat :/ (or maybe I'm just not ready to face the fact that he's not as cute as I expected him to be idk)

- fuck bro I would've obliterated Kiriyama too 😭 we can't really blame Gouto he did what he had to do

- Kuranosuke Sasaki looks so much like Shimada, I love this cast

- but also why do they slam the pieces on the board?? is it their way of t-posing or something?

- Momo really just had to say "stop being mean >:(" and Kyouko shut up, what a queen

- besties the worst thing about this movie is that Nikaidou isn't at least a head shorter than everybody else

- broke: Gouto's drinking water during the match with Shimada bc he's thirsty woke: he's actually drinking vinegar to assert his dominance

- there's so much sexual tension, I'm not even kidding

- 🎵two rivals best friends in a limousine 🕺 they might kiss 😳

- *sees Shigeta at the workshop* I HAVE DIED EVERYDAY WAITING FOR YOU

- the pigeon guy looking kinda hot tho 👉👈

- aww in the movie Shigeta visits Nikaidou at the hospital with Shimada :D

- Nikaidou's voice is so deep and for what 😭 he's like "calm down Kiriyama, 👹 ÇÄLM DÕWN 👹"

- damn

Shigeta's canonically married

- I'm sad, the pigeon guy looks like he's about to cry :(

- ok now I'm the one who's crying, everyone's so proud of Kiriyama 😭

- they couldn't give us Kiriyama's green eyes, they couldn't give us short king Nikaidou, and now Souya's not even albino??? fuck this, I'm out (jk)

- where tf is Raidou????? who's this old dude???

- hell yeah Gouto, put him back in his place

- god if I were in Shimada's place I would have simply unalived myself

- SHIT THE TRAILER FOR THE SECOND PART IS CRAZY ASF WHEN TF DID MOMO GET KIDNAPPED

RATING: 9+/10, I absolutely fucking loved it, BUT:

- they really did my boy Nikaidou dirty, he seemed like a caricature of himself :(

- it took me 5 business days to finish it (ADHD? don't know her)

- overall, WATCH IT

#rei kiriyama #hinata kawamoto #akari kawamoto #momo kawamoto #nikaidou harunobu #kyouko kouda #kai shimada #morio shigeta #masachika kouda #gotou masamune #touji souya #misaki kawamoto #march comes in like a lion #march comes in like a lion memes #sangatsu no lion #sangatsu no lion memes #3 gatsu no lion #3 gatsu no lion memes

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stereksecretsanta · 4 years ago

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Merry Christmas, greenleaf1316!

For @greenleaf1316. I hope you like it!!!!! I tried to go for fluff but it got a teensy bit angsty at the end :D

Read On AO3

*****

Hiding In Plain Sight

‘Shit.’ Stiles sat up abruptly and waved his hands frantically in Derek’s face. ��Put your clothes back on.’

‘Huh?’ Derek frowned and under normal circumstances, Stiles would have been completely smitten with that little wrinkle between the Murder Brows ™ but he knew the sound of that car and he also knew that if Lydia caught them in flagrante delicto, he would never hear the end of it.

‘I mean it.’ He scrambled off the bed and peered out his window. ‘Fuck, she’s almost at the front door.’

‘Lydia?’ Derek, bless his heart, was actually up and fishing around for his henley, grabbing it off the floor and yanking it over his head. ‘Why are you worried?’

‘Because…well.’ Stiles wrung his hands. ‘Okay, so it’s literally only been a couple of months since we broke up and when we did break up, do you know what she said?’

‘That you were hung up on me?’ Derek grinned, all teeth. He had heard this story, in fact it was one of the reasons he’d finally made a move.

‘And do you know what I replied?’ Stiles narrowed his eyes at him.

‘That she was crazy and that you were in no way interested?’ Derek was smirking, amusement in every line of his face. It was a good look on him and Stiles was torn between wanting to wrestle him to the bed and carry on with what they’d started and shove him in the closet. That mental image made him snicker before the doorbell rang and he grabbed Derek and hustled him towards the window.

‘Stiles!’ Derek protested, but he let himself be steered. ‘You know you’re going to have to tell her eventually.’

‘Ha!’ Stiles wrinkled his nose at him. ‘I’ll tell Lydia that she was right when hell freezes over. She thinks she knows me so well.’

‘She does.’ Derek pointed out and Stiles gasped in betrayal and used both hands to bundle him outside.

‘Give it twenty minutes and then come back in.’ he ordered and left Derek muttering about not even having a chance to put his shoes on before he retreated onto the roof and out of sight. His head popped back in a moment later. ‘It’s all iced over up here and I’m freezing my ass off!’

‘You’ll live!’ Stiles slammed the window shut, barely missing Derek’s fingers, and hurtled out his bedroom and down the stairs, stopping briefly to untangle himself from his own shirt that he was attempting to put on upside down, and then skidded along the wooden floor of the hall until he slammed into the front door.

‘Dammit.’ he muttered, wincing as he pulled it open and found Lydia looking at him with a very smug expression.

‘I win.’ she announced and Stiles glared at her.

‘You absolutely do not.’ he hissed and she arched an eyebrow at him. Neither of them backed down until there was a sound like a cat being strangled from the roof and Lydia’s eyebrow climbed to Everestian heights.

‘No?’ She smiled sweetly but Stiles was wise to her cunning ways. Any show of weakness would result in his imminent destruction.

‘No.’ He folded his arms and then realised that his fly was undone. He turned around and jerked it up, squeaking when he nearly got his dick caught. He could hear snickering behind him and wheeled back around to find Lydia’s eyes sparkling with mirth.

‘It’s hard to do up your pants when you still have a hard on.’ she pointed out and he went red.

‘I was jerking off.’ he protested and that was of course the time when Derek’s usual grace decided to desert him and he fell off the roof, making a very un-wolflike noise as he crashed into the bushes that flanked the front of the house. He sat up, blinking blearily and shaking his head like a wet puppy.

‘Hmmmm.’ Lydia shoved Stiles aside and swanned into the house past him. ‘So I see.’

‘It’s a bit of a situation.’ Stiles was slumped so low in his seat that his ass was hanging off the chair. On the other side, the Sheriff heaved a sigh.

‘I don’t get why you don’t just tell them.’ he said and next to him, Derek made an I told you so face.

‘Shut up.’ Stiles gave him a look that he hoped was clear in it’s dissent to that particular idea. Derek snorted and went back to eating Stiles’ popcorn that he’d abandoned when Erica and Boyd had walked into the cinema.

‘Son.’ The Sheriff sounded like he’d rather be chasing down a multitude of bad guys than talking Stiles down from his self-imposed ledge. ‘You’re all adults. I’m sure nobody is going to have a problem with that fact that you and Derek finally pulled your heads out of your asses and got together.’

‘It’s not as simple as you make it out to be.’ Stiles grumbled. ‘I mean they all made such a big deal about the fact that me and Lydia had finally gotten together.’

‘You mean Scott made such a big deal about you and Lydia getting together.’ The Sheriff chuckled and Stiles wanted to strangle him. ‘Look, Scott’s just got to put on his big boy pants and realise that just because he still has a stick up his ass about Derek coming back an alpha and taking back his pack, it’s no reason for you not to be happy.’

‘Fuck.’ Stiles’ entire face creased up. ‘I hate it when you’re reasonable.’

‘It’s a gift.’ His father sounded unbelievably fond. ‘No go back to watching your movie and make out with your boyfriend and stop trying to convince me to call in a bomb scare to the movie house.’

‘Thanks for nothing.’ Stiles pulled a face when he got hung up on, his father still chortling and then screeched like a small child when he found two pairs of glowing golden eyes looking at him from the row of seats in front.

‘You know we can hear you.’ Boyd said. His normally taciturn expression was bordering on gleeful and Stiles decided that made him look more evil than all the villains the pack had faced altogether, and that included Deucalion’s multiple iterations.

‘And smell you.’ Erica reached over and snagged a handful of popcorn. ‘Why are you two hiding back here and why is Stiles trying to cause a terrorist incident.’

Stiles gaped at them both and then looked at Derek accusingly.

‘You told them?’ He batted at Derek’s arm and his boyfriend fended him off easily, still managing to cram another mouthful in.

‘He didn’t need to.’ Boyd rested his chin on his arm. ‘We could smell it all over you the first time you fucked.’

‘’You’re just lucky that Scott is the ultimate failwolf and can’t use his nose for shit.’ Erica grinned, her fangs just showing. ‘Besides, it’s not like we have a problem with it. We won the pool.’

‘Cora’s still pissed about that.’ Derek smirked and Stiles felt he had no choice but to hit him.

Stiles stretched luxuriously and turned to lean on one elbow, admitting Derek’s sleeping face. Even the fact that his wolf was on his back, mouth open and snoring like a band of happy lumberjacks let loose at a pine forest, couldn’t dim his ardour and he contemplated dipping under the covers and blowing him back to readiness.

Derek’s breathing hitched and he turned over onto his stomach, mumbling something about rabbis as he buried his face in the pillow and Stiles sniggered into his own pillow and then decided he needed something to drink. Sex with Derek was always athletic and enthusiastic and involved a hell of a lot of licking so feeling dehydrated was nothing new.

He sat up, using his toes to grab his discarded boxers and got up. He was still hitching them up when he cracked the door open and peered into the corridor. The new Hale house was a long white wood-cladded affair near the lake with Derek’s bedroom at the end of the corridor. Between him and the stairs was Peter’s room and Cora’s room, both of which were currently occupied. Thankfully, industrial strength soundproofing had been installed so he and Derek could be as loud as they wanted without anyone catching on. Boyd and Erica had been sworn to secrecy, as had Cora. She hadn’t even been allowed to tell Isaac, who she skyped daily.

He stumbled down the corridor, making his way downstairs and into the kitchen. It was all gleaming surfaces and had two enormous fridge freezers at the end. Stiles opened one, taking out a bottle of gatorade and cracking it. He downed half noisily and was just about to get started on the other half when the lights went on and he found himself face to face with a half naked Isaac.

‘Dude!’ He blinked in surprise. ‘Why aren’t you in France?’

‘Um…’ Isaac looked like a deer in the headlights. He had a series of huge bruises dotted all the way down his chest and it took all of a minute to put two and two together because clearly Cora and Her brother shared a marking kink.

‘Oh my God!’ Stiles hissed in excitement. ‘You two?’

‘Well, yeah.’ Isaac gave him a shy smile, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. ‘And I’m assuming that Derek did that.’ He gave Stiles’ neck a pointed look.

‘It’s new.’ Stiles opened the fridge again and grabbed a second bottle, chucking it over to him. ‘So are you back for good?’

‘I think so.’ Isaac’s eyes flitted towards the ceiling. ‘I’d like to be. I just got in this evening and things kind of got out of hand but this already feels more like home than any other place I’ve been.’

‘I’m glad.’ Stiles beamed at him. ‘And I know Derek will be really pleased to have you back.’

They drank the rest of their gatorade in silence, both of them catching each other’s eye and laughing.

‘This has got to be one of the most awkward things ever.’ Stiles grinned. ‘But if you’re back then what happened Chris?’ He stopped when that very person stumbled into the kitchen. He was also in nothing but boxers, his greying hair sticking up in every direction possible. He squinted at Stiles and Isaac and then looked sheepish as hell, especially when Stiles clocked the massive bite mark on the slope of his shoulder.

‘Huh.’ He nodded at Chris’ mark. ‘Guess it runs in the family.’

Derek woke with a start. He shot up, fangs and claws out and eyes flashing and then settled when he saw who it was that had interrupted his sleep.

‘Jesus, Kira.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘What the hell?’

‘Just visiting.’ Kira had her wicked smile on. Since she’d joined her sisters in the desert, her propensity for mischief in keeping with her kitsune nature had become even more pronounced. ‘I wanted to say hi.’ She was balanced on her toes on the iron foot rail of his bed, her katana on her back and her black hair floating around her face, eyes burning orange.

‘Did you drive?’ Derek asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

‘No, I flew.’ Kira floated up into the air and landed soundlessly. ‘Isn’t it cool?’

‘Very.’ Derek couldn’t help smiling at her. ‘What time is it?’

‘Around three.’ Kira tilted her head, frowning at the bed he’d just vacated. ‘What are those?’

Derek looked behind him and felt his face heat up. He grabbed the black lace panties and shoved them under the pillow.

‘Nothing.’ he replied but Kira’s smile was now bordering on demonic.

‘You’re getting laid?’ she squealed in excitement. ‘Finally! Who’s the lucky girl?’

‘Oh...er..it’s…’ Derek floundered, not quite sure how to lay things out in a way that she wouldn’t be able to pick up on him lying. ‘It’s not so much a girl as it is a guy.’

Kira’s shriek of delight was enough to have him wincing at the assault on his eardrums.

‘Is it Stiles?’ She practically had heart eyes. ‘Oh God, please tell me it’s Stiles. You’ve had the biggest crush on him for about forever.’

That was when the toilet flushed and the ensuite door opened to reveal Stiles looking like the cat that ate the canary and possibly the entire aviary while he was about it.

‘A crush?’ He was beaming as brightly as Kira was. ‘On me?’

‘Shut up, Stiles.’ Derek ducked his head, knowing he’d been completely and utterly rumbled. Kira had been the only one he’d confessed to.

‘No, wait a second.’ Stiles’ grin turned smug. ‘All this time, I thought I was about the luckiest person on earth that you would even look at me and it turns out that you were pining for me?’

‘I wasn’t pining.’ Derek muttered, folding his arms and trying to get back some of his dignity. ‘I admired from afar.’

‘He pined.’ Kira giggled. ‘He pined so hard that I think we ate the entire grocery store stock of Ben and Jerry’s that first month you were dating Lydia. He made me go on a road trip to Vegas where all he did was mope and play the slots.’

‘I hate you.’ Derek growled at her but she completely ignored him and went over to throw her arms around Stiles, the two of them bouncing around like kindergarteners.

‘This is so great.’ Kira dragged Stiles back to the bed and hauled him onto it with her, all three of them getting tangled up. ‘It’s like my brother and my other brother getting together.’

‘That would be incest, Kira.’ Derek felt he was obligated to point this out. Kira crinkled her nose adorably and then shrugged.

‘Meh.’ She wriggled so she was between them, getting comfortable on the pillows. ‘Geez, I’m bushed after all that. Can I stay and nap for a bit?’

‘Sure.’ Stiles grinned badly at Derek over her head. ‘Although you do realise we’re both still naked, right?’

Kira mumbled something indistinct, already half asleep. Derek regarded her and brushed her hair out of her face.

‘She’s fucking nuts.’ he said, voice full of affection.

‘I know.’ Stiles replied. ‘But then again, who isn’t?’

Melissa hummed to herself as she wandered the aisles of the grocery store. It was nice having this time to herself between shifts and she stopped to peruse a selection of sandwiches, tapping her fingers against her mouth as she contemplated lunch.

A familiar voice broke through her reverie and she frowned and walked to the end of the aisle, peeking around the corner and grinning as she took in the scene in front of her.

Canoodling. There was no other word for it. What was even more amusing was who exactly was doing the canoodling.

She’d always known how affectionate and tactile Stiles was. When he’d been in elementary school and she and Claudia had got together for coffee while he and Scott tore around the playground at the park, she’d always loved how free he’d been with his affection. He’d always come back to Claudia for a hug or a kiss on the head before galloping off again, something Melissa had envied. Scott had become withdrawn after Rafael had left, not as accepting of Melissa’s overtures as he had been and she had missed it.

Then Claudia had gotten sick and Stiles’ sunny nature had clouded over and he’d turned from tactile to clingy in his desperation. Melissa knew that whenever she’d visit she would find him on Claudia’s bead, tucked under her arm or snuggled into her side. Then Claudia’s dementia had gotten worse and she’d stopped recognising her son and that warm physical affection had dried up. Noah had tried to be a substitute but Melissa knew that nothing could ever take the place of Claudia’s touch. She had died and Stiles had grown up far too quickly, and that reservedness had persisted. He’d taken to pulling himself back, putting himself out there with words and manic energy instead and that sunny happy child she had known was hardly to be seen.

This though, this was like getting hit in the face with the past and it made her heart soar to see it.

Stiles had Derek trapped against one of the milk fridges, hands on his hips and their noses almost touching they were so close. It startled Melissa a little to realise that there was barely an inch difference between them and how broad Stiles had gotten in the shoulders. He and Derek now faced off as equals rather than antagonists and Melissa was equally surprised to see the look of exasperated love on Derek’s face as he looked into Stiles’ eyes, his own arms resting on Stiles’ shoulders.

‘I have to get milk.’ he said and Stiles snorted happily and nuzzled at him.

‘Well, I have to get kisses.’ he replied.

‘We’re in the middle of the store.’ Derek protested but his eyes were crinkled up and he was smiling in a way that Melissa could never recall seeing him smile. He looked utterly besotted and it was a very good look on him.

‘Stop being a worry wolf.’ Stiles laughed. ‘The pack shops on the other side of town. Nobody will see us here.’ He peppered Derek’s face with kisses and Derek started honest-to-God giggling, trying not very hard to fight him off until Stiles got him good and pinned and kissed him properly, Derek’s arms looped around his neck and their bodies pressed up tight against each other.

Melissa watched until it got a little too heated and then turned and left, a smile on her face all the way back to the hospital.

+ 1

‘Derek! Wake the fuck up!’ Stiles sounded panicked, more panicked than Scott had ever heard him. He was already moving to the door of the examination room when he was moved aside by Deaton. Boyd had laid Derek out on the stainless steel examination table, his shirt slashed by the harpy’s claws and deep rents in the skin underneath that bled freely. Stiles was in a state, his own clothes smeared with grime and his hair matted with what smelled like blood. Boyd wasn’t much better himself, battered and bruised, as was Erica. She was holding onto Derek’s hand tightly, not letting go even when Stiles shoved her aside to get to him.

Not for the first time, Scott realised he was out of the loop. He hadn’t even known that there was something up or that they were going hunting.

‘This is bad.’ Deaton’s usually calm was rattled. He disappeared and came back with a jar of oily looking green liquid. ‘Can someone hold his head?’

‘Why isn’t he healing?’ Cora asked, her dark eyes huge and full of tears.

‘Harpy venom is usually lethal to werewolves.’ Deaton nodded at Isaac, who lifted Derek’s head gently. Scott watched Deaton pry his mouth open and tipped the contents of the jar into it, Isaac steadying Derek so he wouldn’t choke. ‘Stiles. If ever you needed to use your spark, now is the time.’

‘Okay.’ Stiles wiped at his face, tears leaving clean streaks through the blood and dirt. He laid his hands on Derek’s chest and closed his eyes. ‘Come on, asshole. You don’t get to check out on me.’

Across the table, Cora took her brother’s other hand and Isaac laid Derek’s head down and moved to wrap his arms around her. Boyd came to stand alongside Erica, his arm around her waist.

‘Call him back.’ Deaton was looking at Stiles intently. ‘You know what he needs to hear.’

Stiles nodded, sniffling loudly when Derek’s wounds started to smoke as the potion kicked in.

‘Come on.’ He leaned down so his forehead was resting against Derek’s. ‘Please Derek, don’t leave me here without you. You know I can’t be alone anymore, not now I’ve got you with me.’

Scott frowned, his brain racing to catch up.

‘It’s not working.’ Erica was crying freely, her mascara streaked all down her face.

‘It will work.’ Stiles tightened his grip on Derek’s hands. ‘Come on, you stubborn son of a bitch. I need you and if you think I’m letting you go without a fight, well you can take that and stick it up your ass.’

As if on cue, Derek shuddered and took on a deep breath. He started coughing, eyes flying open to glow red as he convulsed on the table. All the other wolves ran to hold him down but it was horrible to watch, even as his wounds slowly sealed up and his breathing eased.

‘That’s it.’ Stiles was smiling through his tears. ‘Another deep breath, just like that baby.’

Derek’s head fell back to the table with a thump and he made a face that would have been comical if it hadn’t been for the circumstances.

‘I feel like I got chewed up and spat out.’ he croaked and everyone sagged in relief.

‘You almost did, man.’ Boyd laughed, but it was choked. ‘Fuck, we thought we’d lost you.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Derek looked up at Stiles, one hand coming up to cup his cheek. ‘I’m fine, okay.’

‘You’re not, but I’ll take it.’ Stiles replied, still crying and kissing Derek’s forehead. ‘You stupid self-sacrificing dick. If I didn’t love you so damn much, I’d kill you myself.’

Scott looked at Deaton, who shrugged, cryptic smile back in place.

Derek smiled, exhausted but soft.

‘I love you too.’ he replied, pulling Stiles down into an upside down kiss that went on and on and didn’t stop even when the back door slammed open and a wild-eyed Peter charged in, claws and fangs out and his eyes electric blue.

‘Harpies?’ He waved his hands at them, looking for all the world like Stiles when he flailed. ‘What the fucking fuck?’

Stiles and Derek broke apart, holding onto each other tightly.

‘Your pack.’ Stiles murmured, nosing at Derek’s hair.

‘Our pack.’ Derek replied and pulled him back down to kiss again.

#greenleaf1316 #stereksanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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February 23, 2021: His Girl Friday (1940) (Part 1)

Oh, we’re going BACK for this one!

Yeah, this is smack dab in the Golden Age of Cinema! Post-depression, the cinematic culture boomed like CRAZY. Obviously, this age had started before this point, but there was no stopping Hollywood here. I mean, in 1940 alone, Disney came out with Pinocchio AND Fantasia, films like The Grapes of Wrath, The Great Dictator, and Rebecca came out, and some of those were prefaced by short cartoons featuring a brand new certain someone.

Oh, also, there was some war of the world 2 thing going on overseas, I dunno. But anyway! Another well-known film that came out that year was The Philadelphia Story, a George Cukor-directed film starring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, and one of a subgenre of comedies called the screwball comedy.

Arguably starting with the 1934 film It Happened One Night, these are romantic comedies that usually feature a self-confident and stubborn female protagonist inevitably falling in love with the male protagonist, who’s probably initially mismatched with her, personality-wise. You should also throw some slapstick comedy, disguises (cross-dressing’s a feature of a lot of these, weirdly), and class struggle. Yeah, also apparently a trend of these films, that were CRAZY popular from 1934 through the ‘40s.

And in case you’re thinking, “That plot structure sounds familiar, where have I heard that before?”, well, I just watched a later-era screwball comedy, Pillow Talk.

But today, the screwball comedy’s mostly disappeared. Some tropes survive, but the reason for the genre’s extinction is simply because of lack of demand. Part of that is because the genre emerged due to questions of class struggle post-Great Depression. Yeah, seriously, the Great Depression is involved in this shit! Obviously, though, that’s not currently as much of a stressor now, so this genre is dead save for some conventions.

But OK, screwball comedy. Why not look at older members of the genre, rather than this film from smack dab in the middle of it? Well, a few reasons. One, this film stars leading man Cary Grant in his prime. And two, because this film was directed by the one and only Howard Hawks.

Hawks directed yet another Grant-Hepburn vehicle, Bringing Up Baby. And yes, that IS a leopard in a car! I’d watch that this month, but I’ve already seen it. Anyway, Hawks is an understated but excellent director, and his female characters are an archetype in and of themselves, known as Hawksian women. They’re tough-talkers, and the main characters of most old screwball comedies.

OK, but Hawks had a lot of romance films with these characters, so why His Girl Friday? Well, other than knowing it from pure reputation as a good movie, it’s also been called one of the best romcoms of all time, and it’s one of his highest rated films as well. And honestly...I kinda just wanted to watch it based on the premise, which is...interesting. But OK, enough navel-gazing. On with the show! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We start in a newspaper office in the year 1940, where “Hildy” Johnson (Rosalind Russell) has arrives with her fiancee, Bruce Baldwin (Ralph Bellamy), a sweet man who clearly loves her. Shit. He’s the guy destined to be left behind for the actual love interest of the movie Goddamn it, OK.

Anyway, Hildy apparently used to work here, although I’m not sure of the capacity as of yet. She’s only here now to visit her ex-husband, chief editor Walter Burns (Cary Grant). Their reunion is a bt icy, although Walter still seems to be in love with her still, while Hildy’s absolutely not interested. For now.

And as the two have a back-and-forth, I gotta say, GODDAMN is this some snappy dialogue! Fast-paced, but well-written and understandable all the same. It shuld also be noted that this film was adapted from a 1928 play, The Front Page, and it shows in how these two are playing in front of the screen. Their chemistry’s basically immediate, and you sense an unseen history between them easily.

What I’m saying is, it’s great. Anyway, the two have gotten divorced, and while Walter originally agreed, he’s now fighting the divorce to stay with Hildy, even though she doesn’t want that at all. He’s been calling her constantly, and bugging her. He also talks over her, trying to prevent her from getting a word in edgewise, and Hildy ain’t fuckin’ HAVING that shit!

He asks her to come back to work for him as a reporter (THERE’S the connection to the office), and if that doesn’t work out...they can get married again? Yeah, Walter, Jesus, take a hint. She tells Walter that she’s not coming back to him, and not coming back to work on the paper.

The two, through increasingly impressive dialogue, argue intensely, which is capped off by this well-timed and impressive dodge by Walter, followed by a crack that her aim used to be better.

This movie...holy shit, this movie. Anyway, through the argument, Walter gets a call and pretends that one of his reporters called out sick, in order to get Hildy to work one more job for him. Whoof, that’s manipulatiiiiiiive. But she breaks through his constant pressing to finally tell him that she’s now engaged, and is quitting the newspaper business.

Walter insists that quitting would kill her, s she’s a “newspaperman,” which is interesting. But she’s tired of it all, and wants to live a respectable, normal life, as she says. Her fiancee is an insurance man, which Walter notes is too boring. But Hildy notes that he’s kind, sweet, and considerate, and wants a home and children, and her mind is made up.

Walter relents (seemingly) , and gives Hildy his blessings. However, he decides that he wants to meet Bruce in person, and goes out to say hello, That results in...what is legitimately a VERY funny interaction between Water, Bruce, and a random-ass dude named Pete Davis. It is...it is funny.

youtube

So, for the record, Walter’s a verbally-manipulative asshole, and...I kind of like him? Like, he’s an ABSOLUTE DICK, but also a charmer. He quickly coerces Hildy and Bruce into getting lunch at a local place. There, we learn that the two are planning on moving to Albany, where Bruce is confident that the insurance business is strong. I’ve been to Albany, and I can see that.

Walter, during the lunch, is once again a DICK, doing his best to intimidate Bruce and sabotage their plans to leave for Albany that day. He makes his way to the phone, where he schemes with Duffy (Frank Orth) to keep her in town. Back at the table, he tells her of the case of Earl Williams.

Williams is, apparently, a man recently convicted of shooting a police officer...who was black...and they use a word to describe him that begins with a C...that makes me uncomfortablllllllllllle. But it’s 1940, so it could be FAR worse. Anyway, he’s going to be executed, even though he claims that he’s innocence. And while Hildy’s intrigued by the case, she refuses to cover it for Walter.

UNTIL, that is, Walter offers to buy an insurance policy from Bruce for $100000 in 1940 money, which means a commission for $18,000 in today’s money. Uh...yeah. Yes, please. And yet, Bruce says NO, not wanting to involve his future wife in his affairs, like a GODDAMN GENTLEMAN. But Hildy don’t give a FUCK, and basically accepts the deal for him. And, uh, I DO NOT blame her, that’s a lot of goddamn money!

Understandably not trusting Walter, she has Bruce give her all of the money that they have, to his equally understandable reluctance. Because there is NO WAY that she isn’t gonna lose all of that money. We find out from a group of reporters staying near the prison that Williams is to be hung tomorrow, and that he’s a bookkeeper that was recently unemployed.

Meanwhile, after a doctor’s check-up, Bruce and Walter write up the life insurance, and Walter tells Bruce to make Hildy his beneficiary. And Bruce is understandably awkward about that, but Walter ends up convincing him, the smooth and conniving DICK that he is.

Duffy walks in to give Walter a check for more money than originally intended, and it’s even been certified! Which is...odd, but OK. Bruce calls Hildy to let her know, and she’s very suspicious. She tells Bruce to put the check in the lining of his hat, claiming that it’s an old journalist’s superstition (it is not). Looks like she’s right to be suspicious, as Walter brings in a short gentleman for unknown reasons. He follows Bruce out as he leaves the office.

Meanwhile, Hildy brides a prison guard to speak with Earl Williams (John Qualen) before his execution. He’s a shy and bookish man, who was thought to become radicalized by people speaking in a pubic park, where he went after losing his job. This, it’s believed by the press and court, eventually drove him to go insane and kill the policeman.

But Earl seems perfectly sane, and committing murder goes against his morals. He also wasn’t won over by said radical park speakers, although he admits one of them made some good points. But still, he had a gun, and he apparently did shoot the policeman.

In their interview, Hildy learns that the man in the park was talking about “production for use”, which is the idea that everything produced should be used, basically in a way that production meets demand, and profit is less important than product. Which, granted, is an interesting idea. But Hildy uses that to convince Earl that he shot the gun because he had it in his hands. And since the gun was produced, it needed to be used, so...

Well, that’s...something. We also learn about Mollie Malloy (Helen Mack), who’s been unfairly labeled by the press as Earl’s mistress and the witness to his case. And she gives a very passionate and heartfelt plea with the male journalists, who are...vicious. And Mollie’s hurt indeed. And while she’s there, they all treat her terribly.

But she breaks down in front of them even further when she sees the gallows being prepared outside. And as Hildy takes her out, the men left behind actually do seem ashamed. And in a single stroke, in a single scene, the film uses an immense moment of drama to show exactly why Hildy wants to leave, and the things that it makes people in this profession do. It’s...masterful.

Good place to pause! See you in Part 2!

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years ago

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Mount Everest Ain't Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, part 7.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: None really this time?

Warnings: Fezco being FLUFFY as fuck. Rue and Jules with yo sis Fran being fucking the best supporting bitches ever. No drugs or so mentioned, except weed, this part is overall pretty ok I think.

Read the rest here, babe: PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

When you have a meeting which is truly important for you, the time slows down around you. It could be a meeting with someone new, which usually tears you apart from the inside because of the curiousness of how it will be, to be with them.

You have those feelings when you have an appointment with your new work. Your nervous about the questions that they will ask you - you're nervous that you will not answer correctly. People can be very keen on the first impressions.

The same feeling appears in your chest when you have to go to meet someone for the last time in your life. A sudden feeling of loneliness stops the world turning around you. You feel the need to be sad, to be alone, you feel a lot of anxiety.

So when Fez didn't text you for the first week, you felt like you have fucked something like. When you told Fran, she just busted out of laughter, watching you with her eyes closed playfully. She giggled for the last time.

She always told you that she finds you astonishingly beautiful, especially in your tight dress showing your cleavage almost completely and some high heels on. When you were doing a little catwalk to Rue and Jules, Rue told you that you should not wear them when you'll go out with Fez, because it could give him a heart attack. So you decided that those were definitely the ones to wear when being with Fez on a date.

"Are you serious? You from all the people feel insecure? Shithead, you're hilarious sometimes, for god's fuckin' sake." - Fran swung her feet on the small table in front of the TV, taking a fistful of popcorn and shoving it up to her mouth. It was almost nine p.m., Cal was already sent to bed and you two watched some badly written and badly shotted horror movie. Your mom and your dad were on the way to your old hometown to visit granny and grandpa.

“What would I even do without your honesty?” - You snuggled to her side as you always did. From the time you were small, Fran was basically the boy-ish manly element in your everyday life. She was the big sister who was rude, loud, who was cursing like a sailor with the humor the darkest humorist on the planet.

When you were little and you were afraid, she took you to her bed to snuggle you for the rest of the night. When you were feeling bad, she tried to make everything on the planet felt right for you. And when you watched some movies, you always cuddled and she braided your head or massaged your scalp, being the protective one.

You, from all of your siblings, were the woman element, the princess which everyone felt the need to protect and to take care of. You knew that you are capable of the watch after your own fucking ass. It wasn't your choice that you looked like a gentle, small woman, the rose in beasts palace.

Cal was obviously the dumbest and youngest, or that was what Fran was saying all the time. He was extremely likely to be persuaded with Fran's bullshit - and she was capable of thinking almost extremely crazy things. She made him go all nature-loving vegan boy for almost three years and one time, she told him that he should drive circle on every dog hell see to make him a dalmatian.

But that was what your family was like from the day you three were officially together. So it was completely normal for you to snuggle with Fran in the most sister-like way even possible.

“What would ya do without me? Well, mostly, you wouldn't have anyone to be truthful with ya.” - Fran whispered, leaning her cheek to the top of your head. She had a huge smile on, again shoving a whole fist of popcorn up to her mouth. - “Second of all, ya life would be completely without a direction and without any sense of humor in ya boring day-to-day survivin'. Dear fuckin' lord baby Jesus.” - She yelled and laughed when a jumpscare took her by surprise.

A vibration next to your upper thigh took you by surprise as you and Fran laughed it off. You shook it off as Rue's gibberish, but the phone continued on vibrating. Eventually, after a minute and three texts later, you finally looked at the screen. When you looked at the screen, you didn't even know who the hell it is.

But then you focused on the grammar and the nickname, it all clicked into one place.

“What happened? Somebody took a picture of a yeti again?” - Fran joked around, but you looked like the Lord and Savior himself just put a halo on the top of your head. You watched the display with mouth opened, without having a single idea what to say to Fran.

Unknown number: Heya newbie.

Unknown number: It Fez 'ere. Wanna know when ya have the time?

Unknown number: Wanna see ya. The sooner the betta.

“A... A boy who I like just texted me if I want to go out? Jesus, Fran, do I want to go out?” - You shuttered and exhaled out loud, being all nervous and rosy all of a sudden. Fran was giggling at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Is he the knight of the Catholic cavalry you were searching for?” - Fran closed her eyes a bit and then she started to giggle. - “You will never know, shithead. You better find out, hm? Go get 'em, tiger! You can go out with that boy tomorrow, I will look after shithead number two, just have a nice evening. Live a little while the two of them are gone.”

So you texted him back, feeling all confident with your sister's support. Fran then stood up and stopped the movie, pointing with her thumb in the direction behind her back. - “Gonna have some fine time, just me and ma weed while ya will be all over dat boy, okay?”

Y/N: I have some time tomorrow. Wanna hang out?

You sat down, eating some popcorn and drinking the root beer Fran had bought for you two. You tried to keep your mind occupied while Fran was stoning on her balcony.

Fez: Alrite. Wanna do somethin' special-special or just han' out? We can go to the cinema and shit.

Y/N: Dinner, cinema, and shit? That's what u mean?

Fez: Yea, I mean dat type of shit.

Y/N: Ok. See ya tomorrow at 5?

Fez: Tomorrow in front of da expansive Italian bistro.

You almost screamed out loud with joy, your brain was all over the fucking place. Fezco wanted to go out with you. Holy fucking shit. Fezco. That fucking bearded stoner who you were all around. In an Italian bistro which everybody considered the best in the city. You two between all of the businessmen, rich people and there you would be, just the two weirdos.

“So wazzup?” - Fran walked into the room completely tuned down by the weed. She was slow, all over the place; she usually acted like a fucking philosopher or a magician when she was stoned. - “Yo man, I am so fuckin' high.” - She sat down and laughed loudly.

That meant only one thing - she already found one of the local dealers and she bought some good fucking shit, as she would most likely say, from him.

“You're asking about me and the boy, aren't you?” - You let her sat down next to you, again snuggling you. - “It is all going a-ok. I have a date yesterday.” - You said excitedly with a joy-filled voice. You looked and Fran. She was smiling happily and after a half an hour, she leaned down to kiss your forehead.

But in her head, no time has passed between she was happy for you and after she leaned to kiss you.

The other day, Cal left the house really early. He was going to skate with his band of friends, in which was Gia Bennett included as well. But your three fangirls decided to be with you all day, telling you some useful tips and tricks, doing your hair, doing her make-up.

“If ya not gonna wear that, I mean THAT dress, I’m going to disown ya, girl.” - Rue stood up and took those tight black dress hugging your cleavage fuckingly tight. She and Fran had a joint together so they were on cloud nine. Fran said she was watching over Rue - that meant Rue hadn't got more than two shots. - “Oh yea boy! You need to fuckin' wear that, bitch!” - Fran exclaimed.

“Those spaghetti straps plus ya boobs? I tell you that you're going to kill ma man with that kind of shit. And girl, I saw yo ass looking just yummy in dat skirt.” - Rue gave you the dress with a slight smile. They've made your face prettier, your hair looked like the hair of a Hollywood star.

“And may I recommend you those black high heels?” - Jules smiled. They had a plan - to make you look the most devilish way you ever possibly could. Rue knew what Fez is going to like, so she just continued with making a really good outfit.

“That's it. We done 'here, ma ladies. Now ya have it in yo own hands. Good luck girl.” - Rue kissed you on both of your cheeks an hour later. You were nervous that you will fuck something up. Fran voluntarily said she would take you to the Italian restaurant in her car.

“Good luck with that man, babes.” - Jules hugged you, then giving you an encouraging smile to kick you in the ass. Jules and Rue were staying at your place to watch over Gia and Cal. Cal was on your team. The two of them fangirled all over you as well, but Rayman was way more interesting than your date was.

“Hey ho, let's fuckin' go!” - Fran opened up the door for you, playing with the keys in her hand. The way in the car was a quiet one, only interrupted by the hip hop station. You were nervous and Fran was sobering up after the joint, tuned down a bit. But she looked you in the eyes when you were there.

“Yo look absolutely stunnin', shithead, no matter what he's gonna say. Be confident, be cool and be you, ya comprehend?” - She took your palm to hers, playing with your fingers with a slight smile on her lips. You nodded and took a deep breath in before you basically jumped to circle your hands around her neck.

“I love you, dingus.” - You whispered and Fran smoothed your back in a slow matter. - “I fuckin' love you too, shithead. Fuck off or I'll be fuckin' emotional.” - Then she waved at you when she was leaving, holding her thumbs up.

You nervously trembled when you stood next to the entrance. You looked all over the place just to see him smoking behind a car. He looked nervous as hell, paler than before, with your eyes flatter than any time else. But he looked really cute.

He hadn't got a tux, but he had a white shirt with a tie around it, tight black trousers. He overall looked cute than when you have seen him before. You tiptoed to be seen from behind the car and you waved at him. Fez gave you a nod and a knowing fast smile. Your eyes were scanning his way of walking and you almost fainted. Fezco looked sexy as hell.

But you had the feeling that that was the first and official last time that you saw Fezco in something like a suite.

“Heya, newbie.” - Fezco smiled at you, offering you his elbow to hold onto. You took a hold of it almost instantly. - “Hi, Fez.” - A big, happy smile appeared on your face and you smoothed his upper arm with your fingertips.

“How ya doin'? Ya lookin' all happy and shit.” - He opened you the door but made you go after him, holding them open for you.

“Can't I look happy? I'm just excited about this evening.” - You said and you were completely honest with him. Fezco made you really surprised - he had a reservation of a really good table in the restaurant, he made you ordered the best food you wanted to taste in the restaurant and he truly paid for you in the end. It must've cost a fortune at least, but Fez looked like he's completely cool about that.

You were sure about one thing - it didn't matter that Fez was not the smartest, the brightest, the strongest or the best boy in the hood, yet he was the perfect match for you. Fezco knew how to make you laugh and your smile made him smile as well. He loved your imperfections - that you were nervous about all of that, that you sometimes said something utterly stupid and the panic when you were sorry for that.

At one point, your fingers brushed on the table and since then, your hands intertwined gently. He did some serious gentleman shit. He was really nice to you, seriously concerned about you and the things that you like even tho his brain looked like it's about to freeze. Yer he found you sweet, so he tried his best to be the brightest he could. That was some serious effort he put into that evening.

You took a quick picture od those hands on the table lightened up with all the chandeliers and candles in the Italian style. It looked seriously romantic. And Fez didn't even notice, because he was doing something with the menu.

Then, even tho you looked like some big hugs, you two went to a cinema. You had the upper hand off choosing the movie. So you definitely went to watch some horror movies - it was seriously visible that you made that only move because you wanted to be closer to him.

That evening was the best one you have ever had. You were with a boy you were into, he was funny and charming and even hugged you and cuddled to his chest when you were freaking out. Your mind was on cloud fucking nine because of Fez.

When the ride home came, you were completely relaxed as hell. You completely opened up the car windows and you sang loudly, which made him giggle. It almost looked like he is about to kiss you when you stood in front of the house. But all of a sudden, you saw your mom in the window. So you giggled and took his hand into your palm, running off with him into the garden, pressing your body into his.

“I didn't know that my parents will be home so soon. If they saw you here, they would have killed me.” - You whispered to him, leading him under your window. He just nodded when you stopped, smiling shyly and playing with his hand in yours.

“So... Can I see you anytime soon?” - You put your palms on his chest, still looking into his eyes. You were still whispering - because you wanted to be longer with him and you seriously didn't want to get to trouble.

“Yea. Would be cool.” - Fezco said immediately and you bit your bottom lip with excitement. You made the first move for the second time, leaning into a long kiss. You put your palms on his jaw, holding him a tight grip. The kiss was getting more passionate and more desperate as you moaned lightly. Dear Lord, you were so fucking impressed by his kissing techniques. They were even better than when you were drunk. When the kiss came to an end, you scanned his face with a happy, loving gaze. You liked that boy. You really did.

He stood there until you crawled back to your room through the window, kissing you one last time, this time starting the kiss and leading it.

"Ya wait for a sec like dat?" - He pointed at you suddenly. Your face frowned a bit, but you smiled with excited expression in your face. Fezco ran off as quietly as possible, before going back in the same manner. He was giving you something - upon a further inspection, it was a single rose only decorated by a red velvet string in a somehow strange yet beautiful manner. You smiled widely, your stare turning to his once again.

"Thank you so much, where the hell had you the time to get this?" - You leaned for another long kiss. Okay. So that was your thing. The couple who is basically obsessed with kissing each other. That one was a sure thing. But it was so exciting, he tasted so good and your head just made the reality blur around you every single time. Yeah. You could easily consideration yourself officially lost in the way Fez kissed.

"Bought it before but forgot it in da car. I was so nervous." - A wide smile broke out on his lips and you couldn't anything else but smile happily.

That was the moment when it all has started. This was one of the top moments in your whole life at that point. There was a lot that was ahead of you, but you didn't want to see it. So many fucked up bullshit was just beginning to rise in your future without you even noticing. At that moment, you had everything.

It was just Fezco and you.

And it was perfect.

#fez x reader #fezco x reader #fezco euphoria #fez euphoria #euphoria hbo #rue bennett #jules vaughn #rue euphoria #jules euphoria #fezco imagine #euphoria fanfic

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sourwolfstories · 6 years ago

Note

Do know any good age difference fics? Thank you & I love your blog ❤️

One life stand by Vendelin

Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it’s getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there’s only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale.

All Derek wants is Stiles’s time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It’s the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he’s ever had, and he’s more than happy to sign up.

Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it’s just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

I Just Wanna Be With You Every Day by Brego_Mellon_Nin

When his best friend’s son barrels into the kitchen only dressed in a pair of skintight jeans, lean but defined torso on display, Derek knows he’s truly and utterly fucked. Not only is the kid barely eighteen, but he also happens to be the Sheriff’s only son.

Derek makes a vow to himself that he will not seek Stiles out and he’ll get this thing under control.

Multidisciplinary Studies by DevilDoll

Stiles is a slightly-older-and-very-sexy librarian and Derek has a thirst for knowledge.

Salty Sweet by secondstar

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That’s where it all starts.

One Door Closes by KouriArashi

Derek knows that Stiles is too young for him, but Stiles doesn’t agree. Eight years after Derek rejects him due to the age gap, they meet again where Derek has settled in Wyoming as a ranch hand, and Stiles is the new deputy, and still pissed as hell about the way Derek turned him down. Things don’t go as either of them planned. (I’m sure a million fics have been written about older Stiles and Derek, but this one has cowboy Derek, does that help?)

Ruin Me (Take Me Down) by xLostDreamsx

Driving his teachers and his Dad crazy with his incessant trouble making, Stiles reluctantly accepts young college student Derek Hale as his ‘babysitter’, his Dad misguidedly believing he will be a positive role model to help guide him back to the straight and narrow.

Unfortunately for the Sheriff, he isn’t quite aware that Derek isn’t quite as up-standing as he appears and at the hands of his smart, young, manipulative son with a head full of ideas, his rather weak moral codes soon crumble.

Or put simply, Derek gives in to Stiles and things get hot and heavy pretty fast.

A Thousand and One Firsts, But Only One Forever. by TheLoyalFriend

When Stiles was eight, he had panic attacks. He would sleep walk, block by block going further until he finally reached the woods.

When Derek was eleven he found some brat in the woods, asleep on a rock.

They fall in love.

Be the Life of the Party by Mimiminaj

His father’s face suddenly turned serious again.

“He is twenty four though, son. I don’t care if his smile shits rainbows and his laugh births puppies. You are his employee. It would be bad to cross those lines during your first job. Or ever.”

Stiles’ face hit the table.

“I hate my life,” he moaned.

Scott laughed cheerfully. “Don’t worry sheriff! It sounds to me like the entire cinema staff feels the same. Stiles doesn’t stand a chance with Derek!”

“Scratch that,” Stiles mumbled into the wood. “I hate you two more.”

Or – Stiles starts working at the movie theater. His boss is Derek.

And We Only Saw Half the Ballet by meglimeg

Stiles is one of those, ‘love or hate’ kinds of students. The smart-ass, obnoxious, loud-mouthed sort of kid that a teacher will either love to teach, or hate to teach. He tends to be a hit with the older teachers and the younger teachers; the ones who are either young enough to relate to him or old enough to appreciate how different he is from the other students. It’s the ones in the middle, the ones who feel like they deserve his respect but never seem to be able to earn it, that hate him. Finstock and Harris could write sonnets about being pissed off with Stiles.

But basically, everyone has their side. Love or hate. No in-betweens.

Except for Derek. Derek’s in between. Predictably.

Put Down in Words by paintedrecs

“Oh,” Stiles said, his voice coming out low and breathy, “fuck me.”

“I don’t think that’s on the syllabus, but we can check to see if there’s a spot open in any of his classes,” Scott said, grinning.

“This isn’t an actual professor, though,” Stiles insisted, unable to resist brushing his thumb over the sharp line of the man’s bearded jaw. He was laughing at something off-camera, the shot taken in three-quarters view, his coat collar casually rumpled and opened to reveal a sliver of a simple grey t-shirt. The whole thing was deliberately calculated to lend him a more accessible feel, and god help him, Stiles was falling for it.

When Stiles signed up for Dr. Hale’s intro to history class, he had two goals: knock out the credits his advisor was bugging him to complete before he graduated, and spend a few hours a week daydreaming about his sexy professor’s salt and pepper beard.

Derek, a few months away from turning forty and not sure when his life had started feeling so damn lonely, had never encountered someone like Stiles before. Bright-eyed, sharp-tongued, determined to throw Derek’s carefully cultivated world into disarray…and absolutely the last person Derek should be falling in love with.

Later, mate! by Smowkie

Derek looked at the time and sighed. One more hour until he could go pick up Alex and go home. It was Friday, and Fridays were their nights, so they were going to eat Chinese food and watch Beauty and the Beast for the thousand time and probably play a game together, and he couldn’t wait.

Someone knocked on his open door and he startled a little as he was pulled out of his head. Stiles smiled at him from the doorway.

”Hey, professor Hale,” he said.

”Mr Stilinski,” Derek said and tried to keep his smile professionally polite.

Every time he talked to Stiles he had to remind himself that he was his student, that while he was 18, and legal in that aspect, he was still ten years younger than Derek, Sheriff Stilinski’s son, and again, his student.

Gym Rats by i_am_girlfriday

Stiles spots Derek at the smoothie shop across the street from the gym early on a crisp April morning, it’s not even 7 AM yet. For some reason, and Stiles will deny it has anything to do with Derek in joggers, he decides that maybe this is the perfect chance to introduce himself.

It’s Always For You by S_Horne

There in the drawer lay an envelope which suddenly caught Stiles’ attention with its capitalized text. As he brought it closer for a better look his brain shut down for a second. That was his name. His name and his husband’s… Reading the top form with utter disbelief, Stiles pulled out the other pieces of paper with shaking hands and a heart that threatened to beat straight out of his chest.

“I won’t sign. I promise you right now, I’m not going to sign them.” When he got no reply but a shake of the head, his voice broke with his heart. “Please, don’t do this.”

Flowerwolf & Beacon Roots by alisvolatpropiis

Derek tries not to show his surprise, curiously hopeful, but still suspicious of Laura’s involvement. “Oh. How do you know my coffee order then?”

He grins. “The cute baristo knows your order, dude. All I had to do was ask for Grumpy Flower Guy’s usual.”

Derek huffs. “I’m not grumpy.”

“He says grumpily,” Stiles smirks, winking.

The sound of his own laughter surprises Derek, so yeah, okay, maybe Stiles has a point.

“Laura said that you weren’t really into dating,” Stiles goes on, “but that uh, you uh, well you know.” Stiles’ cheeks flush a very pretty ruddy pink under the scatter of beauty marks that Derek aches to taste. Stiles turns away, towards the cooler of roses, muttering to himself under his breath, which of course Derek can hear perfectly well. “Great freakin’ advice, Lydia, ‘just bring up sex and tell him you’re cool with having a one night stand,’ okay, sure, that worked fucking beautifully.”

“Okay.” The word is out of his mouth before Derek can even think about the consequences of saying it, something unusual for him. He wants Stiles however he can get him, it seems.

“Okay?” Stiles eyes are wide when he spins back to look at him.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s have sex.”

#answered #anonymous #sterek #sterek fic rec #sterek fanfic #sterek fanfiction #age difference

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

Text

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Lost In Ye Sauce

I’m a sucker for a good mindf*ck. I love artsy film and auteur directors who never compromise on their vision. Films like Under The Skin, Ex Machina, Suspiria, and Hereditary hit my sweet spot effortlessly. I’ve found some of my favorite directors watching eclectic fare like that. A few years ago, i was blessed with The VVitch, the first film by a guy named Robert Eggers. it was f*cking incredible. I absolutely believe it’s a masterpiece of cinema, even if it doesn’t get the shine it properly deserves. Not only was the film, itself, amazing but it introduced me to one of my favorite actors working today; The incredibly talented Anya Taylor-Joy. She’s young but her chops are proven. Plus, she’s going to be my third favorite Marvel character, Illyana Rasputin, whenever that New Mutants movie drops. Considering The VVitch was her very first role, we have Eggers to thank for bringing this talent to our attention.

Eggers, like Ari Aster and Alex Garland, the directors of Hereditary and Ex Machina, respectively, recently released his second film; The Lighthouse. It sneaked into theaters last year amid a ton of positive buzz. I missed it in cinemas because I live in a cow town but it's on Amazon Prime now. I figure since we are all under quarantine anyway, I might as well check it out. Will this movie live up to the hype? Can it top The VVitch? Will Eggers deliver a second time? Let's get into it.

The Good

The detail Robert Eggers puts into his films is ridiculous. The way these characters speak is true to the period this film takes place. The camera technique used mirrors how film was shot back then as well. This man has a vision and he refuses to compromise on it in any capacity.

Speaking of Eggers, his direction id in fine form. I know this is only his second film but dude is proving to be a true force in Hollywood. He makes films the way Kubrick use to make films and i am here for that. I love the way this man tells his stories!

This sh*t gets going real fast with the surreal, man. Like, immediately. The imagery in this flick is some of the most f*cked up i have ever seen and not in the sense of gore or the grotesque. Everything is off and there’s an escalation to that surreal mania that was deftly executed. It;s subtle, the ramp up to sheer madness, but it’s definitely noticeable.

The atmosphere helps tremendously with this madness spiral narrative. This movie will stress you out. Sh*t happens that makes no sense and then there’s an abrupt cut to something pedestrian or mundane but then it’s right back to the crazy. you don’t get time to breathe. It’s as spastic as Uncut Gems but in a far more disconcerting way.

The sound design in this f*cking thing is absolutely unnerving. Everything sounds off or rotten. Like, all of the brass is a threat. It’s threatening. I don;t know how to articulate it correctly but i imagine it’s similar to the uncanny valley but with musical notes.

Robert Pattinson as Thomas Howard turns in an amazingly unhinged performance. This is easily the best i have ever seen him in anything. Pattinson makes you feel his descent into utter psychopathy, almost like he’s willing you to take that journey in step with him. It’s wild to think that this due is Edward Cullen because the portrayals are so different.

Willem Dafoe is Willem Dafoe. He always turns in an excellent performance but his Thomas Wake is absolutely exceptional. Dude is a cruel ass curmudgeon, intent on abusing Pattinson’s Howard, and you absolutely hate him for it. Dafoe makes it easy to resent this character so effortlessly, it’s kind of amazing.

Valeriia Karaman is wildly unnerving as the mermaid. Like, she doesn’t have any lines and her voice is dubbed over with violent dolphin screeches, but f*ck, if she was terrifying. Also, i mean, she’s gorgeous. Like objectively stunning.

Shark Vagina.

The Bad

Like i mention above, the speech in this flick is kind if ridiculous. Eggers did the same with The VVitch, which i thought was brilliant and helped craft that illusion, but it might be difficult for people to actually engage. This film is not something you just put on and check out. you have to actively watch this film and pay attention. It asks you to be present and a lot of the movie going audience can’t do that.

This film is shot in black and white. There is no color. There re no massive explosions. There is no million dollar effects work. this is a character study of isolation, madness, and the psycho-sexual brutality of the human experience. This sh*t is a legit hard watch. I can see people immediately being turned off just because of the way this film looks.

The pacing of this movie is very deliberate. I can’t say it’s plodding because it gets you to where you need rather briskly but where you need to be is usually dialogue or a static fame or a lingering shot. People are definitely going to be bored by how this film moves.

There is a rather graphic scene of animal brutality that might trigger some people. It’s necessary in service to the plot but i can see how some people could think that scene was a little too far.

The Verdict

I love this movie. I absolutely think it’s one of the best released last year and it’s a f*cking shame this flick isn't getting more shone. Look, this ain’t a Fast 9 or Bad Boys 4. This is as pure a film as you can get. It’s about the performances, not the stars. It’s about the narrative and plot, not the effects. It’s about engaging in the journey, not turning off your brain and letting the Bayhem happen to you. Literally everything that i thought might turn off people from this film is based on what i think regular moviegoers look for in a film. If you actually like movies, the craft of film making and the skill needed to tell exceptional stories, that stuff is a positive. This is the best I've ever seen of Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe is just as brilliant. The atmosphere is palpable, the sound design ominous, and the cinematography is beautiful. This movie is a work of art and a true testament to the genius of Robert Eggers. The Lighthouse definitely lives up to The VVitch. One could make the argument that this movie is better but i wouldn’t. I’m rather endeared to The VVitch because, without that flick, we wouldn’t have The Lighthouse or Eggers. This man is a talent to watch and i definitely look forward to his next film. The Lighthouse gets my highest recommendation.

#The Lighthouse #Robert Eggers #Smokey brand Movie Reviews

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insomnihan · 5 years ago

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

youtube

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

#THREE (3) DAYS IN THE MAKING #it took longer bc ive been having the worst stomachaches rn #it probably shows in this post lmao #but anyway Y E A H im love them #LETS GET THIS BREAD #if you read all of this i appreciate you #dreamcatcher #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts

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beyond-the-yellowbrickroad · 5 years ago

Text

Movies Watched in 2019 - Filmes assistidos em 2019 (part two / segunda parte)

111. About a Boy (2002) Directed by Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz

I liked it a lot! The Kid is amazing and just imagine my face when I found out he was Nicholas Hoult…

112. Hotel Mumbai (2018) Directed by Anthony Maras

It’s a very heavy movie to watch, even more because is based in a real life history… the amazing cast helps to make it even more realistic.

113. Toy Story 4 (2019) Directed by Josh Cooley

I’m angry and very disappointed. It may sound childish of me because “people change” and “leave our lives” but was that really necessary? I think NOT!

114. Widows (2018) Directed by Steve McQueen

I didn’t like it that much but it was probably my fault… I was expecting something more like Ocean’s 8, but it’s completely different from that. Anyway, the cast is great.

115. Final Destination (2000) Directed by James Wong

116. The Final Destination (2009) Directed by David R. Ellis

117. Final Destination 5 (2011) Directed by Steven Quale

So I re-watched all of the “Final Destination” Series at once, and I had the most fun!

I had already seen de second and the third one when I was little (I was about 6 or 7, grown ups were crazy in the early 2000′s) but I had never seen the others and, for my surprise, I loved almost all of them! (I really don’t like the fourth one and I rather pretend it doesn’t exist)

The second one is still my favorite, but the others are as crazy and fun! I LOVED IT!

AND THE ENDING OF THE FIFTH MOVIE, OMG, I WAS NOT READY!!!

118. Liar Liar (1997) Directed by Tom Shadyac

Jim Carrey making funny faces for no reason for 86 minutes straight

119. John Wick (2014) Directed by Chad Stahelski

120. John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) Directed by Chad Stahelski

121. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) Directed by Chad Stahelski

So I also watched all the “John Wick” movies all at once and all I can say is: it’s really great to see treined assassings kill people to revenge their dogs and to see Keanu Reeves being amazing, sexy AND kicking other people’s asses.

122. The Perfection (2018) Directed by Richard Shepard

I saw this weeks ago and I still am absolutely shocked with everything that happened in this movie

123. Us (2019) Directed by Jordan Peele

Literally, a masterpiece of horror and comedy. The cast it’s incredible!

124. The Lion King (2019) Directed by Jon Favreau

Nice, but… it’s the same as the original, but more… dull. Impossible not to have fun though, because it’s the same movie as the original.

125. Long Shot (2019) Directed by Jonathan Levine

Now I really want to go to a club with Charlize!!

126. The Angel (2018) ‘El Ángel’ Directed by Luis Ortega

Beautiful photography, and the cast is really great! The music is also incredible.

127. Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015) Directed by Michael Showalter

It’s a nice reminder that everyone has it’s own time for doing things… sometimes you star things eary and sometimes, other things happen in life before others, and that OK! I loved it!

128. The Lake House (2006) Directed by Alejandro Agresti

It’s romantic, well done and super interesting! Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock looked so good together! I really loved this sci-fi love story.

129. Pride & Prejudice (2005) Directed by Joe Wright

Honestly, everything is absolutely pefect in this movie… like when Mr. Darcy always look’s like he’s about to throw up everytime Lizzie is around, how Mr. Bingley is an absolutely sunshine, how Jane it’s his perfect match, how Lizzie is perfecly sassy and smart… I, obviously, and I can not stress this enough: THE HAND FLEX!!! (and when Mr. Darcy cofesses his eternal love to Lizzie in the rain and them they fight and them they almost kiss… AMAZING CINEMA!)

I loved the movie and I can’t wait to finally find time to read the book too…

130. Creep (2014) Directed by Patrick Brice

131. Creep 2 (2017) Directed by Patrick Brice

Both weird movies, but the first one is more amazing because you spend more than a half of it not knowing what it’s happening.

132. Vox Lux (2018) Directed by Brady Corbet

Natalie Portman is amazing and this movie is also weird.

133. Austenland (2013) Directed by Jerusha Hess

A thriling saga to my Pride and Prejudice / Jane Austen obcession…

So, the fake Mr. Darcy (Mr. Noble) looks like young Tom Hiddleston so now I have a huge crush on him.

Also, I think it’s a very fun movie and I had a good time.

134. Good Sam (2019) Directed by Kate Miles Melville

Fun, I guess… honestly, the romance was unecessary.

135. Almost Famous (2000) Directed by Cameron Crowe

The bus scene when they all are down and then suddenly starts singing to “Tiny Dancer”… The most beautiful thing I saw in my life.

136. The Losers (2010) Directed by Sylvain White

It’s a very fun movie!

But I have an observation: It just don’t sound truthful that people would make fun of a hot, nerdy, super uncle, not being that good with girls Chris Evans… really, he is absolutely hot and cute in this movie, it just not make sense!

137. Sing (2016) Directed by Garth Jennings

I watched this because of Taron Egerton singing “I’m Still Standing”, but I loved it for so much more!!!

138. Candy Jar (2018) Directed by Ben Shelton

Fun for spending the time.

139. The Red Sea Diving Resort (2019) Directed by Gideon Raff

Nice movie and great cast!

(also, I know thi isn’t the point but Chris Evans is beautiful in this movie to)

140. The Jane Austen Book Club (2007) Directed by Robin Swicord

I loved this so much, but I also feel kind of sad because I don’t have friends to make a Jane Austen book club with me and also I will never get married with nerdy and cute Hugh Dancy.

141. The Hustle (2019) Directed by Chris Addison

Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson deserved better!

142. The Sun Is Also a Star (2019) Directed by Ry Russo-Young

I don’t want to be mean but, this was horrible!

143. Descendants 3 (2019) Directed by Kenny Ortega

This movie was already going to be very emotional because is the last one of the trilogy, but the recent evens with the super talented actor Cameron Boyce, it was twice as emotional... I cryed a lot.

Also, the movie is increadible in every way: the songs, the dancing, the characters, the cast... I loved it!

144. Brightburn (2019) Directed by David Yarovesky

Well, that was a disaster...

145. Parasite (2019) ‘기생충’ Directed by Bong Joon Ho

Okay, so this movie... there’s so much to talk about this movie...but I don’t want to spoil it... BUT, everything is absolutely PERFECT! OMG! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!

146. Otherhood (2019) Directed by Cindy Chupack

Great cast, fun to watch!

147. The Craft (1996) Directed by Andrew Fleming

ICONIC!

148. Wild Child (2008) Directed by Nick Moore

EMMA ROBERTS: I’m sorry for every time that I sayd that you were not a great actress. You are, and this movie is a masterpiece.

149. Mandy (2018) Directed by Panos Cosmatos

That was a crazy ride and I LOVED IT! Nick Cage it’s amazing in this and I really love this scrypt.

150. Falling Inn Love (2019) Directed by Roger Kumble

This couple is so beautiful and I really wish they could date me as well.

151. Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009) Directed by Marc Lawrence

I did not like the movie that much but the cast is nice, so is not that bad to wach.

152. Bacurau (2019) Directed by Juliano Dornelles, Kleber Mendonça Filho

This was, honestly, the best thing I saw the entire year. It made so happy and proud of my own culture, and was so increadible to watch, with a great cast and characters that are truly amazing... and as if all of this wasn’t enough, the movie (as a coincidence) talks direcly with Brazil’s currently politic scene.

When the movie was over, I felt like crying of happines... I so proud o f brazilian cinema and how it gets better and bigger each year!!

PURE PERFECTION.

153. Between Two Ferns: The Movie (2019) Directed by Scott Aukerman

There was scenes that I really found funny and there were times that I was just confused... but I liked it.

154. Last Holiday (2006) Directed by Wayne Wang

QUEEN LATIFAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!

Honestly, this movie is everything a romcom should be... PERFECT!

155. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) Directed by Lasse Hallström, Joe Johnston

I’m absolutely angry with the fact that Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen in the same movie and they even looked at each other! CRAZY THING RIGHT?

156. Rumor Has It… (2005) Directed by Rob Reiner

Just imagine a world were Jenifer Aniston and Mark Ruffalo are a couple...

The movie was SO WEIRD!!! (but good)

157. It Chapter Two (2019) Directed by Andy Muschietti

The first one still is my favorite, BUT this is so great... I’m not even going to begin to write about the cast, ‘cause everyone knows it’s absolutely PERFECT, but really, BILL HADER GUYS! JUST, AMAZING.

Anyway, I did not got even a little scared, but who cares, it’s a great movie.

Also, the scene were Bill Skarsgård show up without the Pennywise makeup... his acting was SO GREAT!

158. Midsommar (2019) Directed by Ari Aster

Today I saw someone describe this movie as “a bunch of white people killing other people and dancing in circles” and honestly, this is the perfect description for this.

159. Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé (2019) Directed by Beyoncé Knowles

i CAN’T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE FEELINGS I FELT SEEING THIS! This woman is beautiful, super talented and a genius!

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BEYONCÉ IN THE MAKING!!

160. Frozen (2010) Directed by Adam Green

HORRIBLE! OH MY GOD! I FELT SO BAD WATCHING THIS, IT WAS TERRIFYING! OMG!

161. Hush (2016) Directed by Mike Flanagan

I NEVER FELT SO UNCONFORTABLE IN MY LIFE! Truly a good idea for a scary movie and a very well executed one to! Loved it!

162. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019) Directed by Vince Gilligan

The perfect ending for one of the best suporting characters on a TV Series.

163. Little Monsters (2019) Directed by Abe Forsythe

Lupita Nyong'o deserves way more recognition from the Movies Industry because she is so great and even with a fucking OSCAR on her shelf, she barely has any leading characters on her career and is SO UNFAIR!

This movies is funny, scary, the cast is great and there’s Shake it Off by Taylor Swift was sang by a bunch of kids and Lupita dressed on a beautiful yellow dress all dirty of zombie blood, sooo... you should go and watch it!

164. The Blair Witch Project (1999) Directed by Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez

The movie it’s okay until it gets on it’s last 15 to 10 minutes... then so much starts to happen and you just want to stop seeing it, but can’t because you want to know the ending of it, and it’s so scary and crazy... Really I totally get why lots of people are crazy about this one... SO SCARY!

Also, look out for the website they made for the three filmakers that “disapeared” ( AKA were killed by the Blair Witch), it’s so good and there’s a lot of more information that makes the movie even more scary.

165. Yesterday (2019) Directed by Danny Boyle

It could be SO GOOD! But it was SO BAD! Lili was this movie, the guy that played Richie in Skins was in this movie and I still did not like it... The sountrack was made by BEATLES SONGS and I still did not like it... SAD.

166. The Witches (1990) Directed by Nicolas Roeg

NOT A KIDS MOVIE! Really, it’s so scary! OMG!

167. Shaun of the Dead (2004) Directed by Edgar Wright

It’s a very diferent zombie movie, but I really liked it!

168. Maid in Manhattan (2002) Directed by Wayne Wang

IT WAS JUST LIKE CAMP ROCK!!

Very cheesy, not the best romcom I ever watched, but also not the worse... If you want a good JLopez movie, go see Monster In Law!

169. Monster House (2006) Directed by Gil Kenan

ALSO NOT A KIDS MOVIE! This was actually very little apropriate to kids and so fucking sacry, OMG, how this was made up to be a kids movie?

170. mother! (2017) Directed by Darren Aronofsky

I will never get over this movie, I feel marked for the rest of my life, thanks very much Aronofsky! (no, really, THANKS!)

171. The Meddler (2015) Directed by Lorene Scafaria

Honestly, the “I was visiting my daughter, she just shot a pilot!” joke was THE BEST THING I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE! Also, “I have to go home, my hands are loud!”.

172. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Directed by Stephen Chiodo

I don’t even know what to write about this one... It was weird and not scary at all, but was kind of... diffent? I mean, you don’t get literally scared but you feel unconfotable, like, a lot! Go check it out and you will hopefully understand what kind of feeling I’m trying to describe, it’s just... weird.

173. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) Directed by André Ovredal

WHAT ON EARTH PEOPLE KEEP MAKING THOSE SUPER SCARY MOVIES ANT SAYING THEY ARE FOR KINDS? This was so scary Jesus, and It was great. But not for kids.

If you read the books I don’t know how you going to feel about it, but in my experience from movie adapttions from books, you probably going to feel like shit. But I did’t read the books and loved it, so, you might to :)

174. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) Directed by Joe Berlinger

Not ever close to be as great as the first one, it’s crazier, more things happen and you still feel crazy with the characters, but, it’s not as great. But it would be a great stanalone, if the first one did not existed.

175. Vacation (2015) Directed by John Francis Daley, Jonathan M. Goldstein

This is a comedic MASTERPIECE and I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!

I love comedy movies, but I always expect to much of them... but this served me EVERYTHING that a good comedy should have to make me laugh until my breath runs out. LOVED IT!

176. Walk the Line (2005) Directed by James Mangold

Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon are absolutely babes and so increadibly talented!

The movie is a bit slow (maybe only if you not a particularly big Cash fan), but is great!

177. Love Happens (2009) Directed by Brandon Camp

Jennifer Aniston is amazing and goergeous as always but I didn’t conect with the characters so... it didn’t work to much for me, but it’s not bad eigther.

178. John Tucker Must Die (2006) Directed by Betty Thomas

Talking about perfect comedies, this is ONE OF THEM! FOR SURE!

179. You’ve Got Mail (1998) Directed by Nora Ephron

I’ve got three things to say:

One: TOM HANKS

Two: I could never date someone that led me to bankruptcy, I could however punch this person multiple times.

Three: MEG RYAN!!!

180. The Prince & Me (2004) Directed by Martha Coolidge

Okay, so I was not expecting anything big from this movie and I only watched it because of Julia Stiles, BUT OMG I’m so thakfull that I gave it a chance, because it’s an amazingly done cliché and the Prince it’s totally hot!

181. Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) Directed by James Bobin

I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT IT WAS SO GOOD! I really wasn’t expecting that! SO GOOD!

182. Me Before You (2016) Directed by Thea Sharrock

méh.

But Emilia, I want to be your best friend!

183. Late Night (2019) Directed by Nisha Ganatra

To Queens that almost coused my death because of how much a I laughed in this... it’s ligh, fun and dramtic and real... AMAZING!

184. Let It Snow (2019) Directed by Luke Snellin

Kiernan Shipka and Mitchell Hope singing The Whole of the Moon awakend my bissexuality.

Shameik Moore and Isabela Merced to!

185. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) Directed by Rob Reiner

MEG RYAN!!!

So... this is the movie that every fanfic is based on? I really loved it!

186. Bringing Down the House (2003) Directed by Adam Shankman

Queen Latifah always brings a smile to my face... she’s perfect!

187. Joker (2019) Directed by Todd Phillips

Huum... Joaquin Phoenix it’s a very great actor, OMG!

188. Penelope (2006) Directed by Mark Palansky

It was very hard for me to watch this movie and not get distracted by James MacAvoy’s perfect face and body and not so perfect hair in this one, but does anybody really care? It’s beautiful James McAvoy!

Also, the movie is so great! I didn’t knew about the plot and I was so surprised! It’s very, very good!

I love the final scene when Penelope just let’s the children run wild while she swings with her hot boyfriend...

“Take of your mask!” ~proceds to kiss Christina Ricci very dramaticly~

189. Mad Money (2008) Directed by Callie Khouri

Everything about this movie was PERFECT

190. Baywatch (2017) Directed by Seth Gordon

Great opening scene, the rest was kind of a mess.

191. Noelle (2019) Directed by Marc Lawrence

CUTE! CUTE! CUTE!

But I will complain about the lack of Bill Hader content.

192. Every Day (2018) Directed by Michael Sucsy

Another surprise this year, a very good one!

It’s cute and dramatic, also, this actress kissed every teeneger and young adult in Hollywood!

193. Over Her Dead Body (2008) Directed by Jeff Lowell

A good and weird movie! Gave a few laughs.

Paul Rudd is in it, so, totally worth it!

194. The Skeleton Twins (2014) Directed by Craig Johnson

A dramatic, surprising and “few good” comedy!

I really wish I could hang out on Halloween with Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig...

195. Eat Pray Love (2010) Directed by Ryan Murphy

I didn’t quite understood her journey but I quite liked it.

Veeeery long movie.

196. Death at a Funeral (2007) Directed by Frank Oz

197. Death at a Funeral (2010) Directed by Neil LaBute

I know I should have loved the original version more but the american version... I don’t know what it is (probably the many actors that I absolutely LOVE), but I coul not stop laughing!

James Marsden was an absolute STAR!

198. The Other Woman (2014) Directed by Nick Cassavetes

I wish I could personally thank Cameron Diaz for every great movie I watched because of her.

Thank you, Mrs. Diaz!

That last scene was peak COMEDY!!!

199. The Back-Up Plan 2010 Directed by Alan Poul

JLo! PERFECT!

Honestly, I was thinking this movie was going to be very problematic, but it wasn’t that much... it was actually pretty cute! The birth scene was sacry and funny at the same time!!

200. Muriel's Wedding 1994 Directed by P.J. Hogan

Don’t judge me, I didn’t liked it, it fact, It made me feel pretty shitty, so I just wnat to forget that it existis.

#filmes assistidos em 2019 #movies watched in 2019 #segunda parte #part two

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ticklikeabomb · 6 years ago

Text

The Language of Limbo - Part 1

Pairing : Chris Evans x Plus Size Reader ; Marvel Cast x Plus Size Reader

Warnings : Language ; Masturbation 18+

Word Count : 3.9k

A/N : For the ones that don’t know my writing style -> sorry for the grammar mistakes and typos, English is not my first language. Hope you still like it 😊

"Thank you Y/N. That would be enough. We will discuss it among us and eventually let you know about our decision in a couple of days", told you the casting director. You nodded with a smile, "Of course and thank you for receiving me." You grabbed your purse and jacket that were resting at the chair in the corner of the room and said goodbye before exiting it. Feeling the warmth of the sun, once you got out, caress your skin made you smile in contentment. You took your phone out, turned it on and immediately texted your best friend Aaron-Taylor Johnson, telling him you found that the audition went well and told him to greet the girls and send your regards to his wife, Sam.

You and Aaron met when you were both teenagers and started acting at the same time. Contrary to you, he got immediate calls for big productions such as Kick Ass and began his carrier, while you acted in different independent movies and as an extra. You got a call once to star in a movie alongside your best friend and there's where you met Sam. She not only became one of your friends but also Aaron's wife. Before he met Sam, speculations about you two dating became recurrent but it was all false. Sure he was an amazing and good looking guy but your relationship was purely platonic. He knew you more than anyone and you could trust him with everything, always having each others backs.

Three days later, you got a call from your agent telling you that you had a meeting with the casting director regarding the audition and you scribbled the adress of the meeting point down. "But did he say anything?", you asked intrigued. Your agent's voice replied, "No, just that you had to be there at 2pm." You scratched your neck and continued, "But did he sound happy or was his voice inclining more to the no side? Like can you just tell me if you think that it was enough to get the part?" She sighed and tried to calm you down. "He sounded normal, calm. No indication of yes or no. Don't worry I'm sure you nailed it."

"For what is it anyway? The only description of the character was : Looking female in her mid-twenties. What kind of description is that?", you laughed. You heard her laugh on the other side and could clearly imagine her shaking her head. "I can't tell any further details, only that it's for a big company who likes to keep things secret." "Yeah clearly. Anyway, I'll be there on time. Thank you for everything", you replied and said goodbye.

Today was the day you had the famous meeting. Being one of the hottest days in Los Angeles you decided to wear a fluid black trousers along with a simple white shirt. Completing your look, you wore a little amount of makeup and your hair in your favorite hairstyle. You could qualify your look as casual but you still looked professional enough for the meeting. You still had an hour before the meeting and instead of staying at home, pacing back and forth, you decided to leave early and walk to the nearest Starbucks. You ordered yourself a well deserved ice tea in order to cool down and checked for what felt like the millionth time your emails and social media. Seeing that you had approximatively 40 minutes left, you took the nearest cab and drove to the address given to you by your agent.

With wide eyes you asked the driver if you were at the right place and he affirmed you that you were. After paying the cab, you walked in awe to the big mansion in front of you and nervously rang the bell. One of what seemed to be the house butler opened up and you introduced yourself, "Hello, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I'm supposed to meet Mr.Stewart at 2pm." The man smiled and let you inside. "Of course, Miss Y/L/N. You're early, can I serve you something to drink?" You shook your head declining it, telling him you already had something earlier before thanking him. "Follow me please", he continued. You did so and ended up in the backyard, if you could call that a backyard. The balcon was twice as big as your small apartment. "Wow", you breathed out,mesmerized by the beauty in front of you. The deep blue color of the pool adding to the breathtaking scenery in front of you. You turned around and noticed you stood there by yourself. You didn't mind because you were so enthralled by the view, it bringing somehow a sense of peace in you.

Your awestruck state was cut short when you heard noise behind you. The buttler entered the backyard followed by a woman around your age. She looked like the fantasy provided by cinema and magazines : Blonde, blue eyes, long legs with a toned fit body, dressed in a tight fitting white dress. You couldn't deny that you felt a little self-conscious at the presence of such a beautiful person but you decided to shrug that thought off, focusing on you and what you had to offer. You greeted her, not without missing her little look going over you, alongside her tight smile. "Hello", she replied back. You both decided to take a seat at the couches displayed in front of the pool and sat in silence. After a couple of minutes she engaged conversation. "What's your name?" You told her and asked hers. "I'm Rebecca." "Nice to meet you Rebecca", you replied with a small smile. You didn't know why but your gut told you to keep your answers shorts. Something about her made you tense. "So what are you here for? You're here for a job interview as a maid or something?"

"Actually, I was called to meet Mr.Stewart to talk about the audition I passed a few days ago." She scoffed, "Hmm interesting." You frowned a little not really knowing what she meant by that and it was your turn to ask her why she was there. "Oh I auditioned for that big part and am waiting for the confirmation. I'm sure I will get it. I mean, look at me. Anyway, what was the character you auditioned for?", she replied confidently. "There wasn't much information. Just that they were looking for a female in her mid-twenties." Out of nowhere she laughed loudly, tears brimming her eyes. "What?", you asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. "It's a joke right?", she said. Seeing your confused look, her laughter stopped and with piercing eyes she declared, "You can forget about that part." Taken aback by her hostile tone you told her, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. That part is mine ! You have absolutely no chance against me. Look at you and look at me, there is no second thought about it. If I were you, I would leave now before it gets embarrassing for you", she finally showed her true face. A couple of years ago, comments like that would leave you down for days, weeks even but today you weren't the same. You accepted yourself entirely and if the others didn't then it was to bad for them. You swallowed hard before replying with a firm tone, "We'll see." Your confidence caught her off-guard and when she was about to respond to you with another sneaky comment, footsteps were heard. "Hello ladies. Thank you for meeting me here in this beautiful environment."

"I figure that you got some time to get to know each other and figured out that you both auditioned for the same part." You both nodded. "After visioning your parts with the person behind the project, we decided to choose the one that sold it the best and caught our attention by her amazing performance." You heart was beating frantically, nervous at the outcome and even more, after Rebecca's behavior. "We decided to keep Y/N", he finally cut short to the suspense. Rebecca next to you gasped and gave you a look full of hatred, while you were trying to comprehend what was happening. "For real?", you stuttered in shock. Mr. Stewart chuckled and confirmed that they chose you. He turned to Rebecca, "I'm sorry Rebecca. Your audition was good but it wasn't enough. Still keep up and I'm sure we'll see each other sometime in the future." She fake smiled and thanked him before walking up to you and "congratulating you" with a hug. "Don't celebrate too soon. You will not see the last of me", she spat in your ear, a cold shiver running through your whole body. She smirked before leaving the place. You tried to collect yourself in front of the casting director while her voice filled with hatred resonated in your ears.

You grabbed Mr Stewart's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "Thank you so much." He shook his head with a wide smile and replied, "You don't need to thank me. You did amazingly." You couldn't stop smiling, finally moving a little more forward with your carrier. You looked back at the landscape in front of you and couldn't stop your curiosity. "I don't want to overstep but do you live here? It's beautiful." You heard him chuckle and step beside you, his gaze also focused on the scenery. "No but I wish. It is indeed mesmerizing. It's funny that you ask though because we're going to shot a scene for the movie here." Your eyes lit up and you turned towards him. "Really?", to which he nodded. "That's amazing. I can't wait."

"Hmm, I have a feeling that what I'm about to reveal you next will leave you ecstatic." You heart began to beat faster at his announcement, the tension rising at each passing second. "Do you want to know?", he teased. "Yes of course." "Well, you're about to star in Marvel's next Avengers movie." You froze on the spot, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Oh God I think I lost her", he laughed. You cleared your throat and let out a nervous chuckle. "I'm sorry but did you just said Marvel, like in MARVEL??" He laughed even more at your question and confirmed. "Yes, Marvel like in Captain America, Iron Man and all the others. Let me tell you that Kevin and I believe that you will fit perfectly in the Universe and for the character you will portray. I'm really excited to see it."

"Wow, this is crazy. I…I don't know what to say. Thank you so much for this huge opportunity and I'm so excited, you have no idea. I love the Marvel Universe and this is like a dream come true." His bright smile matched yours and he patted your shoulder, congratulating you. "We know you're close with Aaron-Taylor Johnson and even if he was part of Marvel, we would appreciate if you wouldn't tell anyone about it. It's not official yet and I'm sure you can understand that confidentiality is the Studios priority number one." You nodded in understanding, "Of course, my lips will be sealed." "Perfect. Here let's talk further details while enjoying a fresh cocktail, what do you say?" You agreed and followed him inside. You both were served and began discussing about what your character was like, your schedule (beginning and end of the shooting) and everything regarding the production. " Am I really going to meet all of these great actors?", you mumbled more to yourself but the casting director heard it and chuckled slowly. "Yes you are", he commented. You bit your lip in order to stop the goofy grin that was about to escape and felt anticipation and excitement fill your bones. You were not only be part of an amazing journey but will meet a lot of actors that inspired you in pursuing an acting career. But what was really messing up with you was the fact that you would meet your all time celebrity crush, the one and only Chris Evans. From the moment you saw him in the movie 'Cellular' a couple of years ago, the man had your heart. Your face heat up and heart beat faster thinking about having him standing in front of you.

"Finally but not least, here's the script. Again secrecy at all costs." You nodded again, putting on your best professional face and replied, " Nothing will leak from me, you have my word." "Great…well I think that was all for me and I'll see you with the others at the first table read in 3 months. In the meantime, get over the script, embody the character's personality and follow the scheduled workout plan and everything will be fine." He stood up and you did the same. "I will and thank you again. As soon as I'm home I'll start right away." You shook his hand again and left the mansion, cheeks hurting from smiling the whole time. "Wow", you breathed out, your eyes tearing a little because of the overwhelming feeling that you were feeling. That was exactly why you choose acting, to embody a variety of characters, to change the game and being in Marvel as one of the first plus size female superheros, was a game changing in the industry. The pressure was high and you were willing to give everything you got to achieve and create something unique and refreshing.

The first thing you did as soon you arrived home was to take a shower and remove your makeup. After that, you went through your closet in order to see if you had something fitting for the fighting and rehearsal workouts. "Hmm, shit I have to hit the stores tomorrow", you spoke out loud. Once you've got your things settled and a small meal ready, you grabbed a plate and sat on the couch with the script. You took a deep breath. Still not believing you auditioned for Marvel and actually got the part, you opened the first page. "Here we go".

Your heart was pumping like crazy once seeing all the names of your future co-workers. When your eyes landed on Elizabeth Olson you couldn't help the smile appear on your face, happy to know at least one person privately. You and Elizabeth had worked together alongside Aaron in the movie Godzilla. You had a small part but being best friend with Aaron, you got to hang out more often with Elizabeth than the others and became acquaintances. You put yourself into work and started by underlining all of your character's dialogue. After a good two hour, you realized that your character had a big part in the movie and felt excitement along fear creep up inside you. "Holy shit", you whispered shocked.

Your character was supposed to be a new inhuman found by Sam Wilson. You were happy about it because in your opinion Anthony Mackie was underrated and needed more recognition as the Falcon. Thanks to your abilities, you could duplicate/triple your persona and it would come in handy during fights. "Awesome", you said. When you read that the character you would play had Steve Rogers as love interest, you almost chocked on your saliva. You giggled nervously and mumbled to yourself, "Ha how convenient. I have a crush on Evans and she on Rogers. Great." "Oh shit that means I will have scenes only with him", you continued once realizing what it meant. You face-palmed yourself and felt how your cheeks were burning. "Well this is going to be fun", you thought after finishing reading the entire script and deciding that it was time to go to bed.

2 Days Later

Today was your first day of the fighting rehearsals. Dressed with black sweatpants and a large t-shirt you looked around for the room indicated in your schedule. "Can I help you?", you heard a masculine voice speak up next to you. You lifted your head up and were struck by the man's handsome face. "Yes, I'm looking for Room 9, I'm supposed to meet the stunt coordinator in charge", you told him. "I was on my way there, follow me", he said with a smile. You walked next to him to the room. "I'm Mason by the way", he commented while presenting his hand to you. You took it and shook it a little to greet him, "Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N." "Pleasure's all mine", he replied back. You were surprised by his kindness but didn't question any further. You finally arrived and joined the small group that was already gathered around. "You must be Y/N Y/LN/?", spoke up another man. You confirmed and he began, "Great, I'm John and the production's stunt coordinator. I will assign you your coach for the duration of your fighting program." You nodded and your body shivered lightly with excitement. He went through his list and finally called out, "Mason !"

You slowly gasped. 'Shit how am I suppose to focus', you thought once realizing that the hot and cute guy you met earlier would be your coach. He came up at you with a wide smile, "It seems that we'll see each other frequently." You chuckled and looked around you and saw that the coordinator had left you already. "Well I guess you're stuck with the big girl hein…sorry", you told him. You really had no idea why you were apologizing and immediately felt bad at yourself for being that stupid. 'Ok gotta step up your confidence game', you mentally mumbled and bit your lip in frustration. "It's absolutely no problem and you shouldn't apologize, you know. I'm happy they paired me with you, it's gonna be fun."

You smiled at him, mentally thanking him for being so cute and he motioned you to sit at the mattress at the corner of the room, isolating yourselves from the rest of the group. "Before we start, I just need to know a few things about you." You nodded and replied, "Yes of course, no problem." "Do you have any physical struggle or did you had a surgery that could impact the workout?" You shook your head and told him you didn't. "Are you comfortable with doing gymnastics or with highs?", he continued. He noticed your body tense. "I'll have to admit that I'm kinda afraid of highs", you chuckled and he joined you. "Alright, we'll have to work on that", he commented politely. "Concerning gymnastics, I'm also not a fan. But I understand that with a movie such as 'Avengers' there will be gym stunts/moves involved, so I will try to give my best."

"Can I ask you why you don't like it, if it's not too straightforward?", he asked more focused. You swallowed hardly and revealed, "When I was in high school, there was a moment where the teacher decided to do gymnastics and…god, it's so embarrassing. One of the basic moves was to do the forward roll but somehow I couldn't do it. I was petrified to do it. I was afraid to hurt myself and he kept pushing me but I just couldn't until the moment where I tried it and heard my neck crack and it scared the hell out of me. I began to cry but he wouldn't care and called me to join the rest of the class to do another move. So…yeah, I don't really appreciate gymnastics that much. It's stupid but when you're young and something like that happens it kinda stays with you."

He nodded and reached your hand, squeezing it a little. "Hey don't worry I won't force you into doing something that you're not comfortable with. I will create other cool moves for you. What I'm interested about, is that you mentioned you were 'afraid to hurt yourself'. Is that still the case?" You looked at him deeply in the eyes and clenched your teeth in order to not let your emotions take over. He didn't need to hear you say it out loud, he knew you still were. He stood up and you did the same. "Alright, let's start with some warm-up exercises." You nodded and the training began. An hour later, both of you decided to take a small break and you instantly launched on your bottle of water. "You should wear more fitting clothes", he exclaimed. "Excuse me?", you asked not really understanding why. He chuckled and took a gulp of his own bottle. "Your workout clothes. They're too large, it will bother you once we start rehearsing on the fighting choreography. You should invest in more tight fitting clothes and besides, it will help you to get comfortable for your suit later." "Oh…ok", was the only thing you managed to reply. He gave you that small smile again and declared, "Let's start with the funny business", before indicating you the stance you had to take in order to block out a potential enemy.

After a 4 hour training session, John the Marvel coordinator called it a day and you sighed in relief. You saw Mason quickly get his things. "Sorry that I'm in a rush like this but I have an important meeting", he defended himself while packing. You chuckled and replied, "Oh don't worry. You don't own me any explanation. It was nice meeting you and to have you as my coach. I'll see you tomorrow right?", you told him. "I'm glad too and yes, we'll see each other tomorrow." You nodded and wished him goodnight before exiting the room and walk back to your car. You rode home completely wrecked. You opened your apartment's door and passed your living room, the couch tempting you but decided to not succumb and immediately take a shower before falling asleep on it. You stood outside your shower, waiting for the temperature to get to your liking before stepping inside and let the water splash your sore and sweaty body. You hummed in contentment at the first wave on you and sat on the shower's floor, enjoying the peaceful moment. You reached out to the shampoo and squirted a fair amount of it on your hair, your nails massaging your skull perfectly. A smile popped on your face when you remembered the scene of the movie Easy A, in which Emma Stone was singing a song she initially hated in the shower. You washed off the shampoo and your body was next. You were washing the water off below your waist and felt your breath shorten once the pressured water hit your womanhood.

Not thinking more into it, you directed the shower head above your clit and let the pressure do the rest. You were slowly building up the tension by rolling your hips, immediately enjoying the relaxing feeling it provided you. Closing your eyes to focus on the pleasurable sensation, you moaned and spread your legs further. "Ahh fuck", your moans becoming louder with each of your thrusts. It took you a few more minutes before you were reaching your high, your head thrown back in ecstasy. You were a panting mess and breathed out a small 'Fuck' before laughing, still in the bliss of your orgasm. You got out of the shower, not bothering in drying your hair and put on a pair of panties before crashing down on your bed and falling asleep instantly, thrilled of the journey ahead of you.

*montage made by me but images -> credit to owners*

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wigwurq · 6 years ago

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WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 3

Stranger Things season 3 is here!!!!! Bust out your 80s nostalgia and demogorgon attitude because I fully don’t remember where we left off but Netflix kind of reminded me in a very extended recap that was definitely too long? Whatever, let’s just discuss the wigs! (AND MUCH MORE).

As with last season (and any season of TV I review) I will be adding each episode to this post and then changing my wig verdict as the season progresses.

CHAPTER ONE: SUZIE DO YOU COPY?

We begin with two tweens making out and YUCK I really don’t want to live through this! I share this opinion with Sheriff Hopper who has to live through these make out sessions that are scored by 80s soft rock music. Even more insulting: THESE HAIRCUTS. I don’t know at what point these kids are gonna outgrow their bowlcuts but the answer seems to be a resounding: NEVER. Also Elle’s hair has finally grown out! TO THIS?!?!?! What overprocessed curly nightmare is this?! I feel like they were going for a Jennifer Grey situation but if that’s the case, I’ll be needing like 110% more hairspray and like 200% more dancing ability, please.

Anyway, the real news in town is: THERE’S A MALL NOW! It’s called Starcourt which is the most 80s sounding name ever and it is home to SCOOPS AHOY ice cream shoppe where Steve and Uma Thurman/Ethan Hawke’s daughter works. This whole storyline is incredibly Fast Times at Ridgemont High themed but Steve’s hair is still very wonderful. Also he can get all the tweens into the movie theater which is showing Day of the Dead and I get it Stranger Things: YOU ARE MAKING ALL THE 80S MALL REFERENCES.

Also: Dustin is back from camp! It was a science camp called Camp KNOW where and I am definitely gonna see some assholes in this shirt this summer. Anyway, this storyline was all about Dustin forcing his friends into helping him with a radio tower to talk to his possibly fake girlfriend named Suzie and truly: meh.

Meanwhile: WINONA’S SEASON 3 WIG! I’ve gotta say, this season is the best season of wig for Winona. Sure, it is still very much a mess (as is she after the untimely death of her boyfriend Rudy Reuttiger!) but it’s the best wig she’s had so far so MAZEL!

Elsewhere, the most boring teen couple in America (aka Nancy and Will’s brother whose name I won’t learn) are working at the local newspaper and Nancy’s whole job seems to be fetching hamburgers for an entire room of #MeToo examples. Her hair is business chick 80s which is to say: on brand but I could use about 90% more Working Girl, please.

And now let’s get to the only storyline I truly cared about: Nancy’s mom Karen Wheeler (aka Carla Buono). Every season, her wig brings the drama and glamour I crave in an 80s-based TV show. The arc of her wig story is truly the story of America - from 70s disco queen to bored early 80s housewife to the wig we see today - 80s mall glamour queen. AND I AM HERE FOR IT. She and the other ladies of the Hawkins Town Pool are unfortunately here for the worst character on this show: BILLY.

UGH BILLY. I will give this show major props for having his entrance to the same music playing when Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool in Fast Times (second Fast Times reference in this episode tho) but it’s a gender reversal I can definitely get behind. HOWEVER BILLY IS THE WORST. Within 2 seconds of his entrance, he fat shames a tweenager and also HAS THE WORST WIG.

Nothing has changed much from last season on this wig front. It is still very much a curly dried out MESS which is very much trying to reference Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire yet this bish has yet to wail on a saxophone or talk about granny panties so truly: no redeeming qualities here.

This does not dissuade Carla Buono from falling under the spell of Billy’s terrible wig. To be fair, her husband is a constantly napping Reagan supporter of indeterminate middle age. Anyway, the episode ends with her getting 80s GLAMOUROUS for a latenight rendezvous with Billy at a fleabag hotel. Billy, however, is run off the road by falling/exploding rats (?) and then dragged into a dirty warehouse full of said exploding rats which truly is the fate I wanted for him and his bad rattail so: COSIGN.

CHAPTER TWO: MALL RATS

We begin with Billy in the rat-infested warehouse being very much alive, so already: I’M ANGRY WITH THIS EPISODE. However, Billy and his awful wig have definitely been through the ringer and he’s about to high-tail it out of there when he comes face to face with: HIMSELF?!?! I don’t know what sort of US crossover this is supposed to be...can we get Jordan Peele on the horn about this? Anyway, he drives out of there in his now somehow completely fine car that didn’t work about 5 minutes ago and then stops at the most bizarrely situated telephone booth literally in the middle of nowhere. I thought this might be a Bill & Ted crossover but nope: he just tries to call 911 before all the electricity bails on that plan.

In other telephone news, Mike has been shook to his core by Sheriff Hopper and tells Elle that he can’t see her and makes up some lies about his grandma. Queen on the scene/his mom Karen and her GLAMOROUS PERFECTION WIG are somehow listening in (KAREN!!!!) and she’s concerned about grandma now too. Everyone back at the pool is concerned about Billy/”Billy” (not sure if he’s the real thing or a mole person version or a possessed alien version - probably the latter) and he is straight up RUDE to Karen so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY ALWAYS. There are also a bunch of shots of the back of his nightmare wig that gave me the shivers. Oh, and he fully kidnaps the other lifeguard as a human sacrifice to a demogorgon blob so definitely: EFF YOU BILLY x100000.

This episode also introduced MAYOR CARY ELWES! This is very good casting and this whole storyline seems like an homage to Jaws so: OK! Also Sheriff Hopper asked Winona’s season 3 wig (which is still good!) on a date/nondate which she definitely didn’t attend because she had far more important lessons to learn about magnets and that’s probably the best reason to stand up a dude ever.

Elsewhere, boring couple is investigating some weird rat/fertilizer situation at an old lady’s house and basically I didn’t pay attention to this part because it was boring and it involved exploding rats so: hard pass. Nancy’s hair looked fine. Jonathan’s hair is a mess. The end.

The rest of the episode was devoted to the only kind of rats I like: MALL RATS! Over at Scoops Ahoy, my favorite bromance between Steve and Dustin was rekindled and truly it is a beautiful thing.

However, Maya Hawke and her language skills (which are romance based, not Russian but whatever!) come into play to translate the Soviet message Dustin intercepted. They somehow translate it (SURE?) and also Maya’s hair is about as 80s as John Travolta’s 70s costumes were in 50s-set Grease. This hair is pure 2019 and you do you Stranger Things. THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS.

Meanwhile, Mike is BUMMED about having to lie to Elle so he brings Lucas and Will along with him to the mall to...buy something for Elle to erase the lie he told her? The whole time Will kept asking when they could leave and play D&D and the whole time I wanted these boys to not have bowl cuts anymore.

In the most important storyline, Elle teamed up with Max to have a LADIES DAY AT THE MALL AND I WAS HERE FOR IT! Max does not seem like the kind of chick who is into fashion or commercialism but her overriding guidance of finding yourself through consumerism and forsaking any sad feelings about boys is just good TV. Retail therapy is great!

And I’m sorry but there is absolutely no better cinema than an 80s makeover montage to effing MATERIAL GIRL. YES PLEASE.

Elle also used her powers to prank some asshole chicks at the Orange Julius and this whole part of the show felt very Girls Just Want To Have Fun (the movie but I guess also the song) so VERY YES PLEASE.

THEY EVEN TOOK EFFING GLAMOUR SHOTS. CAN YOU EVEN?! THIS IS EVERYTHING! I don’t know who funded this amazing afternoon at the mall since Max’s parents seem like pretty absentee wrong-side-of-the-tracks types and clearly this whole mall fiasco goes against everything Sheriff Hopper stands for but whatever logic: YAY MALL!

In the end, Elle calls out Mike on his lie and DUMPS HIS ASS! GIRL POWER! MALL POWER! ICE CREAM POWER 4EVER!

CHAPTER THREE: THE CASE OF THE MISSING LIFEGUARD

My favorite bromance, Dustin and Steve, are on the hunt for Russians in the mall! This whole plot is ridiculous and wonderful. They think they’re really onto something here (and maybe they are?) and just need to find some guy with blonde hair and a duffle bag (like all Russians!) When they find someone who fits that description, he turns out to be a FABULOUS aerobics instructor and I like what everyone has done here with the gay or European? trope.

Meanwhile, Hopper comes home from being stood up with bottle of Chianti and general sense of hopelessness when everything takes a turn for the GREAT because Elle isn’t making out with Mike - she’s found a great galpal and they’re having a sleepover. Halleluj all over the place! Elle deserves a great galpal and Max is pretty awesome and can ALMOST land an ollie so I say amen. Winona’s season 3 wig (still great!) shows up and explains about magnets and then they go back to the lab and find an actual Russian (not an aerobics instructor!) but then he hightails it out of there with no other explanation other than the fact that he might be the Terminator and/or just a motorcycle enthusiast.

Anyway, Elle and Max have the best sleepover EVER by using Elle’s sensory deprivation skills to spy on the boys and truly this is the What Men Want crossover no one wanted but sure! (PS the answer is Doritos belches and farts UGH BOYS).

Beyond that, what Will wants is to just play D&D IN THIS GODDAMNED ELEGANT CAPE, OK?! Mike and Lucas go along with it for a bit, but they are just too girl crazy to concentrate on being a nerd for long. Mike yells at Will, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” which is interesting phraseology since the internet really wants Will to be gay and only time will tell but honey: the cape eleganza story you’re serving is pretty fabulous, just sayin! (THE DEMOGORGON’S IN THE DETAILS ALWAYS).

Anyway, after some fun sensory deprivation visions of the guys doing stupid stuff, Elle and Max decide to invent a whole spin-the-bottle inspired game to see what other dudes in Hawkins are up to and dammit if the bottle didn’t land on my wig nemesis BILLY. Elle sees that he’s up to some pretty effed up nonsense involving kidnapping that other lifeguard so they decide to investigate IN THE RAIN.

The rest of the episode is mainly devoted to fabulous 80s raincoat fashion and I WAS HERE FOR IT. Beyond these great raincoat lewks, most of the rest of the cast also rocked some fab 80s raincoats (excepting Will who got soaked destroying his childhood fort and Steve who OF COURSE was wearing a members only jacket but jokes on him bc that rain totally dented his ‘do).

Anyway, Elle and Max go over to the missing lifeguard’s house and OF COURSE her dad is the #1 asshole that boring couple works with (oh also they did more boring investigating which resulted in an old lady eating fertilizer. Meh). But shocker: BILLY AND HIS AWFUL WIG WERE THERE TOO.

LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THIS DAMN WIG. Truly, this wig IS the demogorgon of this season.

Anyway, double shocker: THE LIFEGUARD ALSO WAS THERE! Or I guess a possessed version of her since this plotline is getting less US and more Invasion of the Body Snatchers (no need to return my call anymore, Jordan Peele). Also possession or not, this chick’s side pony and wispy bangs are the true terrors (second only to Billy’s wig).

Also can we talk about Billy’s mustache for a second? IT IS SO DISGUSTING. That’s all I have to say. I don’t want to look at it any further. Also look at how dried out this wig is and this whole episode involves torrential rain. I DEMAND MORE WIG HUMIDITY DAMMIT.

Anyway, Max and Elle (smartly) hightail it out of there right before Billy and the lifeguard attack her parents for further demogorgon possessions and we get one last terrifying view of Billy’s wig. HORRIFYING.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE SAUNA TEST

So I’m really liking the whole Elle and Max vibe going along here. I also like that they weren’t dissuaded by the whole Billy being a possessed demogorgon thing to spoil their sleepover. IT CONTINUES! And not only that, Max is literally introducing WONDER WOMAN TO ELLE. I could watch an entire episode of this also because both of their hair isn’t too offensive and they’ve both discovered scrunchies. Mazel! But of course, the guys call in a code red and they have to hightail it over there to fix everything. Ain’t it always the way, ladies?

I would like to take a moment to talk about bowl cuts. So far, I have just lumped both Will and Mike’s bowl cuts into “awful” territory as all bowl cuts are awful. However, this episode gets a lot of shots of the back of Will’s head (because the back of his neck is always sensing those goddamned demogorgons). Anyway, it became very clear in this episode just how terrible this wig is as opposed to Mike’s terrible bowl cut actual hair. I consulted the internet, and apparently the kid who plays Will CUT HIS HAIR (which he was contractually obligated NOT to do) days before shooting began and the wigmaster had to scramble and make a wig literally out of the childhood cut hair of one of her assistants. READ IT ALL HERE. Despite her hustle, this wig sucks in the way that all man wigs suck: the back taper is just all off!! And with all those closeups of Will’s neck it is VERY DISTRACTING!! Billy officially is not the only one with a terrible man wig this season. But his is still the worst!

It did hide a bit under this sweet NIAGARA FALLS hat this episode. And his oily bohunk body was hidden under this sweatshirt which was a dead giveaway to all the kids that SOMETHING WAS AMISS HERE since Billy can barely keep a shirt on at school let alone the pool. Since Will knows that demogorgons (specifically the mind flayer?) like it CHILL, everyone was all: THIS DUDE IS STRAIGHT UP POSSESSED. Great work, kids! Also honestly, this whole lewk was giving me Weekend At Bernies realness and I was here for it (since it implies that Billy is dead which I would like very much please).

Meanwhile, Hopper’s anger management issues get PEAK BLOODY when he just beats the shit out of Cary Elwes (who is technically kind of his boss?) in demanding answers about that Terminator/motorcycle enthusiast who beat the shit out of HIM last episode. Oh, and just an FYI: Winona’s season 3 wig was along for the ride and was still looking great! I cannot say the same for Cary Elwes’s face!

Over at Scoops Ahoy, Steve and his superior wigless mane are doing some serious air duct work with the help of Lucas’s precocious sister. This whole plotline begs the question: do any of the parents of Hawkins ever know where their kids are?

Meanwhile, boring couple is on the rocks after having a really boring fight about whether it’s worse to be a woman or poor and they called it a draw I guess? Anyway, I haven’t spent much time talking about Nancy’s hair which is starting to look a little lumpy honestly and the article I read (link above) told me the bizarre fun fact that most of this hair is real and permed (duh) but that part of the undercarriage is remnants from Winona’s season 1 wig which is obviously why it looks so shitty. The more you know!

Anyway, after being fired by the #metoo boss (who is now also demogorgon possessed) for wanting to investigate why that old lady with the fertilizer eating rats is now also eating fertilizer, she turned to her mom - the one and only queen of Hawkins glamour - KAREN WHEELER. LOOK AT THIS GODDAMNED PERFECT LEWK. Mama Karen ended up giving her a very great motivational pep talk that legit made me cry (SERIOUSLY) about how she had to keep fighting and get the world out about this effed up fertilizer situation. She also delivered a sick burn about her constantly napping husband. I LOVE YOU KAREN.

Back at the town pool, all the kids concocted a Home Alone-style booby trap to get Billy into the sauna, crank up the heat, and prove that there is a heat-hating demogorgon inside him. It kind of worked except they also almost died during the battle royale between Billy’s inner demon (literal this time) and Elle.

Also I know that I demanded wig humidity last time but this is NOT WHAT I MEANT OMG THIS WIG IS A GHOSTMARE. Anyway, Elle saved the day (duh) for now by throwing Billy through a brick wall like he was the Kool-Aid man but seems like he’s forming a demogorgon army of possessed mole people so seems like it’s gonna be one crazy summer, you guys!

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FLAYER

Straight off the bat: this was a weird episode because it included neither my least favorite wigwearer, Billy, nor (SOB) my favorite wig wearer, KAREN WHEELER. So we were left with a bunch of other randos, mainly Soviets. We begin with Winona’s season 3 wig (looking a little rough around the edges in this episode, I am sad to report) and Hopper, fresh off the info he beat out of Mayor Cary Elwes, high tailing it to some farm owned by The Terminator dude. Under his bed, they find a bunker with these two dudes in it. Good morning!

Terminator dude, obvs shows up fairly immediately and lots of yelling, guns, and machismo ensue. In the end, the Terminator is briefly subdued by a fallen bookshelf and Winona’s season 3 wig, Hopper, and one of the rando Soviets escape but not without car troubles because: of course?

After Hopper’s truck explodes, they are all forced to walk through the woods while Winona’s season 3 wig hilariously tries to ask the non-English-speaking Soviet dude about magnets. It’s all pretty silly stuff but I’m here for Winona’s season 3 wig to get some comedic scenes instead of long suffering Christmas light crying scenes.

Anyway, they find a 7-11 where a lot of product placement and caffeine takes place, as well as Hooper yelling a lot for no reason which is essentially his entire character this season. Get some anger management classes, dude! Also the rando Soviet gets a slushie so between that and Billy’s icee last episode: WHAT A TIME FOR FLAVORED ICE WATER!

My absolute favorite part of the episode came next when Hooper commandeered a sweet convertible from this yuppie asshole. I’m not sure how often police commandeer vehicles in real life but I love it when they do it in movies because it’s always taking a car from some pompous idiot who clearly doesn’t deserve to drive (see: Speed, So I Married An Axe Murderer, etc). You can’t get more pompous or idiotic than this yuppie (named Todd, of course?!) with both a popped Polo shirt AND a blazer with zhuzhed sleeves AND white pants. THE NERVE OF THIS GUY FOR EVEN EXISTING! PLEASE TAKE HIS CAR! OMG HIS LICENSE PLATE IS TDFTHR! EVERYTHING IS JUSTIFIED!

Then Hopper, Winona’s season 3 wig, and the rando Soviet drive directly to Murray’s compound in Illinois. I’m bummed we have to suffer through Murray and his existence again since I’ll never forgive him for the gross pull-out couch jokes he made about #boringcouple’s sex romp at his house but here we are. He DOES speak Russian so let’s just get through this translation. Oh and obviously the Terminator dude questioned the 7-11 clerk so he’s probably on his way to Murray’s house now, hopefully to kill him so I don’t have to suffer through any more of his gross sex jokes.

Meanwhile, the Scoops Ahoy spy crew are still locked in that elevator they took way into the bedrock of earth/logic but somehow manage to escape when some (more!) rando Soviets come to unlock some deliveries. Then they discover the whole Soviet plan to reopen the Upside Down while also not being noticed by one single Soviet (great security, dudes!) except for this one Soviet who Steve beats up (GO STEVE!) I’d also like to say that Steve’s superior wigless mane is truly wonderful in this episode. The lights from the underground labs really bring out his summer highlights and it’s truly a thing of beauty. Uma Thurman’s daughter continues to have a 2019 beach wave blunt instagram cut not welcome in this 80s narrative please but otherwise she’s fine.

Over with #boringcouple, they got back together I guess? Remember at the end of season 1 when we were all deeply offended that Nancy was still with Steve and NOT Will’s brother (I refuse to believe he has an actual name). How things have changed! If Steve ever took back Nancy, I would be personally DEEPLY OFFENDED so I guess it’s fine she’s just still a #boringcouple but it’s still boring you guys. Even more boring: the actors are a couple in real life and have been for years! I just found this out this week and found it DEEPLY BORING.

Anyway, #boringcouple teams up with the tween gang to solve this whole fertilizer eating mystery and Nancy totally mommed it up when she put her shitty perm back in a banana clip and told all the kids to buckle up so she could drive her parents’ wood-paneled station wagon and honestly this section felt very Adventures in Babysitting so I’ll allow it. Also Will’s bro’s hair always looks like it was cut by a weed wacker and I’m not sure if this is a comment on his socioeconomic plight but truly Winona’s season 3 wig should get her kids better haircuts please. If her wig can improve so can theirs. In any case, at the missing lifeguard’s house, they vaguely put together some blood-related clues and then decide to visit the fertilizer eating grandma in the hospital.

Only fertilizer eating grandma ain’t there, hunties! Also please return all those flowers to their vase, please. Instead, #boringcouple apologized to each other for their boring fight in an elevator and then had to fight two possessed #metoo bros from the newspaper (which was very satisfying) while Elle and Mike basically starred in an M&Ms commercial in the waiting room. I honestly was hoping that #boringcouple would get possessed too but they ended up being ok (SIGH) and the back of Will’s bowl cut wig sensed danger so I guess Elle is just gonna have to fix everything in the next episode or 3.

CHAPTER SIX: E PLURIBUS UNUM

We begin, UGH, with #boringcouple who are still battling with (part of?) the mind flayer in the hospital and Nancy gets very Sigourney Weaver in Alien and I thought she was about to get flayed but sadly Elle saved her ass. Back at Hooper’s bunker, the whole gang is still basically relying Elle for both protection and sensory deprivation recon. Nancy gels her hair up for some reason (I hope she used DEP!) and Will keeps getting the tingles on the back of his terrible bowl cut wig. Max and Mike have a battle royale about who cares about Elle more and whether women can make their own decisions about their own telepathic powers which Nancy rightfully weighs in on (you go gurl?) But honestly, no one was protecting Elle from the real catastrophe here: WEARING CRISS CROSS SUSPENDERS THE WHOLE GODDAMNED EPISODE. Suspenders are fine and I’m glad Elle has found fashion, but maybe the kids can elect one of them as Elle’s suspenders advocate to avoid this in the future?

Meanwhile, Terminator dude still hasn’t caught up with Murray (sadly) and everyone in his bunker is still very much alive, at least until they die of lung cancer (ZING!) Anyway, Murray does a lot of Russian translation, rando Soviet dude throws a diva fit about slurpee flavors, Hopper continues his reign of anger management/alcoholism problems, and Winona’s season 3 wig is honestly not looking great. They do somehow figure out what the Russians are doing under Starcourt (they even make diagrams and use a lot of Burger King product placement to reenact nuclear scanarios!) And Hopper calls a secure line to demand backup back in Hawkins. Okay?

Back in Hawkins, Bloody Bloody Cary Elwes seems to have recovered from Hopper’s beating pretty nicely (as long as he keeps those shades on) and is very much invested in the 4th of July county fair he is PRODUCING (he even made signs crediting himself!) The Terminator dude demands answers about Hooper but no matter: JUST ENJOY THIS FAIR RIDE!

Speaking of people getting face beatings, Steve is getting absolutely SAVAGED by the Soviets. It was honestly very heartbreaking because he has somehow become the male MVP of this show, partially to do with his hair god status (EVEN WITH A BLOODY FACE HIS HAIR LOOKS SO GREAT!) but also because he’s become a really sweet guy and I just want him to catch a damn break! (Tho please continue to be broken up with Nancy - dear god!)

We shouldn’t be too worried about him getting back together with Nancy, though, because if it wasn’t clear from the moment Uma Thurman’s daughter was introduced: THESE TWO ARE OBVS GETTING TOGETHER. Her hair is still a very 2019 distraction but she’s def an upgrade from Nancy. However, after taking some weird Soviet truth serum (probably just LSD, right?) she admits that she harbored a crush on him way back in the 10th grade and also totally undermines her cool outsider status by admitting that all losers want to be popular (I DON’T KNOW IF ALL LOSERS STAND BY THIS GURL I HOPE THIS IS JUST THE LSD TALKING!) This whole section gives a lot of Some Kind of Wonderful realness and honestly that is a lesser John Hughes work so I’m not sure I can give any of this a passing grade. However, Dustin and my new favorite sass machine, Erica save the day with a nuclear cow prod! GREAT WORK KIDS! ALSO YOUR PARENTS DEFINITELY DON’T CARE WHERE YOU ARE! Speaking of parents, yet again the glamour of KAREN WHEELER did not grace itself in this episode and we were all worse for it.

Back at Hopper’s cabin, Elle decides to go nuclear with her sensory deprivation recon and we all have to welcome BILLY (UGH BILLY) and his terrible wig back. Anyway, he pushes her further into the recesses of his memory/all logic on an astral plane that can only be described as the place where Michelle Pfeiffer was in the Ant-Man sequel (IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT HOW VERY DARE YOU). So we get a lot of terrible childhood flashbacks which try to show Billy’s abusive tendencies to be learned from his horrible upbringing and truly: DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT BILLY.

JUST LOOK AT THIS IDIOT. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. Despite the humidity of his entire body, his wig remains a dried out hellscape that I would love to never see again for the rest of my days. Also he almost traps Elle in the astral plane they’re on JUST LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFER IN THAT ANT-MAN MOVIE) but she escapes into the arms of Mike (fine sure) and then Billy explains that he and and his army of mole people have been waiting for Elle this whole time and: REALLY? That seems very specific but you do you, mole people. Oh also all those mole people (grandma fertilizer included!) all file into the rat warehouse and shapeshift into a disgusting mind flayer/demogorgon/blob nightmare. YAY!

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BITE

Welcome to the Fun Fair (a Mayor Cary Elwes production!) Somehow he recovered from his terrible face beating to show some FACE at this thing. The whole town is there and ready for some 4th of July FUN that will definitely not be ruined by Russians or demogorgons.

Most importantly, this episode gave us the triumphant return of KAREN WHEELER! HER HAIR LOOKS AMAZING! She is bringing full out bouffant glamour to the Fun Fair and damn if she didn’t have this lewk done at Dolly Parton’s salon in Steel Magnolias. IT IS THAT GOOD. Clearly employing the “higher the hair the closer to god” theory - and not just hair-wise actually because this bish bribed some carnie to stop the ferris wheel at its highest point so that she and her family (at least the part of her family whose whereabouts she knows about) can enjoy some FIREWORKS. KAREN YOU MINX I LOVE YOU! HOW ARE YOU STILL MARRIED TO THIS DUDE IN GOLF PANTS?!

The top of the ferris wheel is also a perfect place to see the incoming demogorgon!! The back of Will’s bowl cut is getting the tingles too. And before Elle can fully explain her trip into Billy’s beach memories, the mind flayer is THERE, y’all, busting through the roof of Hopper’s cabin like it’s straight out of a 50s b-movie. I would like to note that for ONCE Winona’s house isn’t about to get trashed so mazel! #Boringcouple armed themselves with guns and axes but obvs they prove completely useless and the flayer is about to steal Elle away when they make a human chain and are victorious...FOR NOW.

Meanwhile, Dustin and Erica are dealing with a very drugged up Steve and Uma Thurman’s daughter and decide to lay low in a showing of (WHAT ELSE?): Back to the Future! They actually show so much of this movie that I’m assuming the entire wig budget went straight to Robert Zemeckis.

Over in the TDFTHER convertible, Winona’s season 3 wig is looking a damn MESS as is all the side projection of them getting back to Indiana. There’s a lot of bickering between Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper and finally my beloathed Murray has to meet his gross sex talk quota for the season and tells both of them to just have sex already and then he and the Soviet dude laugh a lot and OMG GET ME OUT OF THIS CONVERTIBLE.

#Boringcouple and the kids smash into a supermarket to get Elle some medical help for the leg that the flayer effed up. I’m not sure why a hospital wasn’t an option but it’s probably so there could be more 80s product placement like Mr. T cereal and a whole actual conversation about New Coke. Nancy’s hair is still VERY depped up. Max seems to have the most medical training from skateboard injuries and fixes Elle up pretty well while the dudes prove completely useless other than finding a treasure trove of fireworks. I guess most importantly, Elle was reunited with her ain’ true love: EGGOS. They hightail it out of there with a ton of fireworks that they definitely won’t (lol jk) use later. Oh and Elle’s blood kind of comes alive and Billy and his shitty wig come back to sniff her out. Gross.

Speaking of gross, Steve and Uma’s daughter left the very confusing (for them) screening of Back to the Future to go stare at the Starcourt ceiling to the point of barfing (which I honestly did not need to see TWICE or at all!) The barf did get the LSD out of their systems so now it’s time for truth talk and LURVE TALK! I really have to hand it to Steve for being completely face beaten and bloody and covered in barf and still having enough swagger to admit to Uma’s daughter that he has feelings for her (despite her 2019 hair) and just when I thought this show was so predictable, Uma’s daughter comes out as a LESBIAN!! What? Okay! To his credit, Steve pivots pretty easily to ally/friend and truly: HE IS THE BEST AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM. ALSO PLEASE GET HELP ON YOUR FACE WOUNDS AND YOUR HAIR STILL LOOKS GREAT.

NOR DO WE DESERVE THIS MUCH GLAMOUR TWICE IN ONE EPISODE. Karen Wheeler may look great but damn if she knows where her (or Winona’s season 3 wig’s) kids are. But let’s just enjoy this space ship ride! Also a rando carnie calls Hopper “Magnum” and: sick burn. Also there is a woman dressed up as Uncle Sam at the fun fair and between this drag king realness, Uma’s daughter, that one Jazzercise instructor, and (maybe/probably) Will, I’m so ready to throw a Hawkins Pride Parade. Karen is already wearing rainbow stripes!

Elsewhere at the fun fair, Alexei is having the time of his damn life winning a Woody Woodpecker with the support of 10000 children. Sadly, his joy is cut short when the Terminator dude kills him in cold blood. HARSH. Also Murray chooses to blame himself for not guarding him like he was supposed to and instead buying a corn dog. I AGREE, MURRAY: THIS IS YOUR FAULT PLEASE LEAVE. Then Hopper has a whole sequence with the Terminator dude (and some other rando Soviet baddies) in the funhouse which is the second time this season which felt like a weird homage to US and I guess I need to get Jordan Peele on the horn again about this. Anyway, Hopper gets ANOTHER face beating and so does Cary Elwes from Winona’s (also beat) season 3 wig.

Back at the mall, Steve and company are trying to just slip out with the rest of the movie crowd from Back to the Future but the Soviets are totally onto them and it looks like they’re about to be killed when (AGAIN) Elle saves the day by throwing a Chrysler LeBaron on them. GREAT WORK! Unfortunately, Elle is also receiving a threatening phonecall from a mini demogorgon and the call is coming from: INSIDE HER LEG.

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE BATTLE OF STARCOURT

So this demogorgon situation with Elle’s leg is pretty severe so Will’s brother (again name NOT NECESSARY) prepares for mall surgery based on stuff found at the Panda Express and literally gave her a wooden spoon to bite on as if this was happening during the Revolutionary War. The demogorgon leg removal is not working so as always, Elle just DID IT HERSELF because she may be the only capable person in this mall/town.

Hopper and Winona’s season 3 wig (not looking great) and (UGH) Murray show up and everyone compares notes on how to fix this whole mindflayer situation. Most importantly, Erica outsasses Murray and wins. Steve (rightly) gets the keys to the TDFTHER convertible to take him, Uma’s daughter, Dustin and Erica (now known as Scoops Troop) to Dustin’s radio tower. The rest of the tweens plus #boringcouple (now known as The Griswold Family because sure) are getting sent to Murray’s bunker and can’t they maybe stop and get Elle some medical attention on the way? No matter: they’re not going anywhere because Billy, possessed or not, still knows way too much about cars and stole their damn ignition cable. DAMMIT BILLY.

Steve is driving the Scoops Troop up a damn hill to the radio tower while listening to Jackie Wilson’s Higher and Higher which I’m sure is a Ghostbusters 2 reference and also Uma’s daughter looks exactly like her in the convertible driving part of Kill Bill and honestly all of these pop cultural references are getting tiring. Anyway, from the top of the radio tower, they can see the demogorgon closing in on the mall and Steve and Uma’s daughter hightail it back there.

At the mall, Elle is having some trouble moving that LeBaron to get the ignition cable - she can’t even move a damn coke can. WHAT GIVES? This does beg the question: since she has literally done all the heavy lifting this season, could she maybe call in a favor from her telepathic sister in Chicago? Why did this show even introduce that character - just to check off “punks” on their 80s pop culture list (note: DEFINITELY) But seriously, it’s like when Marvel makes a stand-alone superhero movie after an Avengers movie. SOMEONE GET THAT PUNK CHICK ON THE HORN!!! Anyway, Will gets some back of bowl cut tingles and the damn demogorgon smashes through the roof. Elle, Mike, and Max make a run for it through the gap, where the demogorgon confuses a mannequin wearing Elle’s same clothing and truly: the gap would NEVER sell this graphic eleganza! Did Esprit just not want to be involved in this whole mess because that is where she would have bought that. The rest of the tense gap scene plays out basically exactly like the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, #boringcouple is doing boring auto work while Billy just endlessly stalls in his evilmobile but is about to hit them when MVP hair god Steve saves the day and everyone piles into the station wagon. YAY!

Elsewhere, the Terminator dude has made it to the Soviet subbasement where Hooper, Winona’s season 3 wig and (UGH) Murray are now in Soviet apparel. Winona’s season 3 wig (looking great hidden under that hat) and Hopper have a nice talk and make plans for a legit date which definitely won’t be derailed by a demogorgon (lol jk jk). Murray manages to infiltrate the room where all the wires control the nuclear weapon the Soviets are using to open up the Upside Down and why wasn’t this room better guarded? Oh well. Much like sucking at guarding Soviets and not buying corndogs, Murray sucks at remembering important numbers which are the combination for the nuclear keys.

Of course the code is some nerdy equation that requires Dustin to ask fellow nerd (and girlfriend Suzie who exists!) for help. But not before Suzie demands that Dustin sing....The Neverending Story theme song. This is peak 80s cultural reference and we can all go home now. Also it is mainly an excuse for Galen Matarazzo to sing and sure: he and this chick sound great! Now please get those damn keys!

Elle, Max and Mike are confronted with (unfortunately still alive) Billy who beats the shit out of all of them and takes Elle. She’s about to get flayed when Lucas and Will throw all those damn fireworks on the demogorgon. Sure! Elle uses Billy’s memories to reason with him. This show definitely wants us to root for Billy all of a sudden because he turns on the demogorgon but I REFUSE TO LIKE BILLY WITH THAT DRIED OUT WIG IN THIS SWEATY MALL.

Back in the subbasement, Winona’s season 3 wig and Hopper are ready to end this but the Terminator dude shows up. They duke it out very close to a nuclear warhead while Winona’s season 3 wig turns into MacGuyver and uses a belt to try to disarm both keys and bless her. Hopper throws the Terminator into nuclear generator thingie. Byeeeeee. Then Hopper looks back at Winona’s season 3 wig for long enough to definitely make it back into the safe glass room where she is but instead just gives a really long nod, signalling her to disarm the nuclear whatever thing and he definitely (absolutely does not) die.

However, all my hopes and dreams for Billy’s death finally came true! YAY FOR ME AND MY HATRED OF HIS TERRIBLE WIG AND HIS CHARACTER WHICH HAD NO REDEEMING QUALITIES NO MATTER HOW MANY BEACH FLASHBACKS TRIED TO PROVE OTHERWISE. I will say that his exit is VERY METAL so in some ways, this was the only appropriate death for his Metallica and Tank loving character. FINE. Two seconds after he and the demogorgon die, the feds show up with Paul Reiser! I am honestly very mad at this show for not blasting Pat Benatar’s Little Too Late during this entire sequence. OH WELL. Outside the mall Winona’s season 3 wig and Will’s terrible bowl cut wig are reunited in a bad wig hug. Then Winona’s season 3 wig catches sight of Elle and gives her a look that says: I am definitely adopting you.

Three months later, a fake Inside Edition show gets us up to date on the burning of the mall, government coverups, and comeuppance of terrible mayor Cary Elwes. Also Uma’s daughter (now with 80s appropriate updo!) and Steve are trying to get jobs at the video store! Uma’s daughter and her love of Billy Wilder movies make her a shoe-in for the job but Steve's taste in the Ewok Star Wars movie and the 5 minutes he saw of Back To the Future whilst on LSD don’t make him the best candidate. Also he trips over a Phoebe Cates cut-out and truly Phoebe Cates: thank you for your service in being name-checked constantly this season. In the end, Steve’s awesome hair gets him the job. Maybe?

Meanwhile, Winona’s season 3 wig is moving just like she said she was going to this whole season and no one believed her. Also she put her wig back in a ponytail and: good move it looks ok! Elle still doesn’t have her powers back but eh? She does get a heart-tugging letter from beyond the grave (he’s totally still alive) and all the kids/tweens/#boringcouple sob that they are being separated. It isn’t clear where Winona’s season 3 wig is going or how she could have sold her shitty house in the town that fake Inside Edition show called haunted. And yes, separating her now 3 PTSD kids from their only support group is also shitty but what has this goddamned town ever done for Winona and any of her seasons’ wigs other than stealing her children and killing her love interests and trashing that shitty house at least twice?! I SAY GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE (they will fully be back next season).

After collectively sobbing all their faces off, the tweens of Hawkins are left only with the ELEGANZA OF KAREN WHEELER and whatever healthy dinner she’s preparing with the help of some white wine. YOU KIDS ARE STILL LUCKY WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE KAREN WHEELER! Oh and back in Russia, Hopper is like 110% definitely still alive. See y’all next season!

FINAL VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ (YOU KNOW IT WAS BILLY’S FAULT)

#wigwurq #doesntwurq #strangerthings #hawkins #UGHBILLY #80sMALLWIGS #KARENWHEELER #EXPLODINGRATS #EXPLODINGRATTAILS #retailtherapy #glamourshots #girlsjustwanttohavefun #mallpower #raincoatfashions #wighumidity

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