#cramps are terrible and i cant keep my eyes open

[softroundbunny]

tummy hurts terribly, craving sugary snacks, feeling gross, feeling fatigued, bleeding heavily .

in need of cuddles but im alone- what a terrible world.

[border-spam]

Leech Lord : Jak-Knife

JK belongs to / is written by / designed by @godkingsanointed​

“That Bandit’s a ghostwalker, my God-King. You don’t want ‘em here, trust me. Sometimes dead clans leave corpses behind that aren’t straight in the head enough to know that’s what they are... Crawl across the plains looking for somewhere else to belong, looking for a new family clan ‘cause all that’s left of theirs are Rakk picked bones. Seen plenty over the years, and they trail bad luck behind ‘em like a disease. That one’s marked like a Hellion, those got slag-burned into the ground by Atlas back in Old Haven. Your majesties weren’t here when that happened, but we were, and I remember. Leave them to me, the scout teams always need fresh meat for replacements.

They won’t stay alive long enough to be a concern.”

- Mouthpiece

Whether death follows JK or they sprint after it in pursuit is something they’ve never really been sure of. It could be either - some great predator snapping at their heels while they grew up in a Bandit clan that wasn’t kind to the small and gentle, or a force they are drawn to effortlessly like the migratory animals that follow Pandora’s monsoon seasons.

Could be either.

Could be both.

Same outcome they figure, so why would it matter.

They'd been a kid when it happened, well, a kid to anyone not a Bandit. In that life 16 years old is more than enough to run with a raid party, adult enough to work yourself to the bone, to show you can earn your keep when your brother is "useless" and you've got to be worth 2 bellies of food or watch as one of you goes hungry. Jak-Knife and Gutpunch, one a runt squinting up from under a stolen warrior's mask crafted for someone twice their size, the other a gentle giant born into a life that no aspect of their soul suited. They'd protected him, them with their little body and dull pocketknife versus the sometimes cruelty of a clan who's survival was based around only the fittest, only the strong staying part of it.

Not evil, just living as was needed. Pandora is harsh, there is no room for softness if you want to stay alive on her rocky flats, that's just the way things are. Nature isn't cruel, it simply is.

They were 16 when the Lance came.

16 years they'd lasted in the Hellions, till the day the gates of Old Haven had been opened for the Crimson Lance's money carriers. They'd done their job, they'd cleared the town at the request of the white Siren, been promised a home for the clan, a place to belong, and in the end, their payment came in bullets sprayed from Atlas gun barrels.

By the time JK had woken up and tried to heave Gutpunch's corpse off their back from where he'd shielded them, it had been two days. Groggy and confused, they'd panicked, desperately trying to scrabble out from under his bulk as the remaining Lance stopped piling bodies to burn and ran towards the sound of gunfire outside the gates.

Vault Hunters. Worse than the lance.

They couldn't take him with them, he couldn't move now, but they couldn't leave him like this, not a brother. Not when he was all they had who'd understood when they'd try and explain why their meat was wrong, how the flesh didn't sit right, when he was who would help them tighten rags around their chest and listen as they ground their overly developed canines and growled to the stars at night when it got too heavy to bear. They couldn't leave him behind after a life together, so they took his mask. Scrabbled at the bindings and peeled the effigy from what was left of his head. They realised as it separated from flesh that it had been all that was holding the remnants of skull together... but this was his face. The meat under it was Gutpunch, but the mask... they'd wear it now. He'd still be with them.

Jak-Knife had ran from the massacre of Old Haven on shaky legs, ducking as bullets whistled through the air around them as Crimson Lance and Vault Hunters traded fire in panicked waves. No hits, not directly, but a spray of Slag from a barrel ruptured by a narrow miss had sliced across their right, thick and acrid in the air as it burned through skin and into muscle. There had been no time to feel the pain, no time to stop, JK had run till their feet bled and the weight of Pandora's inky night blanketed them in exhaustion they couldn't fight any longer.

They'd started to stumble forward once they stirred in the morning. Like Mouthpiece said, a ghostwalker. No clan, no brother, no belonging. They walked and didn't stop for a long time.

Walked to New Haven, to the walls outside the town and a woman with her own terribly scarred face masking a heart softer than others would guess. Not a home there, not really, but allowed stay. A kid is a kid, even when wearing the blood-streaked mask of a Bandit. She couldn't turn them away.

They were 18 when Hyperion came.

Ran again amidst the screams to do so, ran into the wastes of Pandora and a world that made more sense to them than the town being torn apart behind them. Missed her though, Pierce. She'd been kind. A lot of those people had been kind, and now they were dead. Hyperion, Atlas, same thing. Just monsters lead by monsters.

They'd walked to the Slabs, to a jovial King who mocked their size with a tone that both bristled their muscle and left them feeling... welcome. Not a home there either, not really, but there had been jobs to run and food to earn. They'd been allowed stay, and so they did. Stil a Hellion though, still Slag-burned and covered in their clan's flame emblems and splashes of neon across their gear.... still wearing Gutpunch's blood coated mask.

The Slab king had heaved himself into their cramped sleeping quarters one night and whispered that there was a funeral for her soon, Pierce. They could go if they wanted, he'd whispered from under that massive helm. Told them with a gentleness they'd never heard before that he understood loss, having things you loved taken away from you for no reason bar cruelty. That he remembered Old Haven and wished he didn't. That they should go. They'd be welcome there.

So JK had walked again, out of Thousand Cut's Slab fortress and to a somber funeral in the icy fields of Three horns that was filled with Crimson Raiders - a mix of Vault Hunters and ex Lance, and stood in memorial amidst people that made the blood under their skin burn, all to show the respect she'd earned to a woman who'd treated them like a human.

A merc now they figured, easier than being a wanderer and Sanctuary needed mercs. Found themselves in the bar some nights, wary eyes glaring from mismatched lenses as they sat silently at corner tables while watching the rest of the loud patrons, back against a wall and a clear exit always planned.

She'd noticed. She liked big 'n mysterious. Liked how her flirtations rolled off them and were replied to with genuine questions about her. Quiet, gentle-voiced comments about the drinks, how well she played her marks, how clever that gunbelt around her thigh was positioned for quick access if she needed to control a situation with more than just her looks.

Moxx liked this one, and a friendship slowly bloomed into something beautiful.

It had been her who had put their name forward when the leaders of the Raiders had become concerned over the darkness slowly seeping across Pandora's horizon, of the bizarre war cries of fanatics leading raids on smaller Bandit camps and shanty towns...

The "Children of the Vault" was a name being passed through hushed whispers in slums and rot-dives, and Lilith had rolled "Calypso" across her tongue enough times when reading scout reports to know the taste it was leaving behind wasn't anything good. They wanted an in, and what better spy to infiltrate a Bandit cult than a Bandit. Someone who understood clan hierarchy, who could report back in words she could understand from a viewpoint she could never see.

JK had been... wary. To say the least. The Raiders weren't friends, they'd filled their ranks with ex Crimson Lance like they hadn't committed atrocities, they mowed down Pandora's natives like mad Skags who needed extermination, and Krieg...

They all knew of Krieg. Everyone had seen how he'd been really treated. JK certainly had, but they also knew Krieg had been one foot into the great hunger, that he'd been so close to the flood that he'd spoken in half Psycho-cant and half Bandit, and tore at his skin to sate the itch of the song that the mad ones screamed about. That the raiders would let him burn alive in a fury if it meant a successful mission, and they couldn't help but wonder how respected he'd really been. Some kind of mix between respect and pity they figured, mocked behind his back as "Just another Psycho", someone who got the job done even if he limped back covered in blood and bullet holes, but was whispered about as needing to be watched.

He had been called a Raider, and yet - masks like his and JKs covered the command room's wall like trophies. Murderers of their clans walked Sanctuaries halls and narrowed untrusting eyes even at Krieg's hulking silhouette as he passed. It wasn't right, and JK struggled to feel as welcome as the others insisted they were now that they had a use.

But they'd taken the job, because Moxxi said they should and Moxxi was clever, Moxxi cared about them and wanted to see them be happy, so they'd agreed. She had whispered in an accent they’d learned from long nights in her company was for real things and not her act, that this would help people, that the COV was worrying her more than she was concerned about getting intel to Lilith, and they'd nodded in agreement.

Bandits don't congregate, Bandits don't merge clans under one banner... they wanted to know what this beast clawing into Pandora's soil was capable of. They'd heard the rumours like everyone else, twin Sirens apparently. Bullshit, everyone knew Sirens were women and there were only 6. Jack had hammered that information through Bandit clans and across Pandora's E-Com network clear enough. These were obviously frauds using trickery to control those eager to believe, wouldn't be the first time a Siren cult had used Bandit clans as a personal army, and JK had felt roiling disgust at the realisation what they were agreeing to do for Lilith? Just another shade of the exact same thing.

Funny, wasn't it. Very funny.

So they'd walked out of Sanctuary and towards the hub of the birthing COV.

They'd been 20 when they had first seen a real God.

The Holy City didn't exist yet, just a pile of rickety buildings thrown up by worshippers that surrounded an old Dahl fortress bleaching slowly in Pandora's sun. They called it "The Cathedral", but it looked like the crumbling bones of some great dead thing jutting from the red sands like a cracked skull. Maybe those were the same thing, JK had thought. A cathedral, and a beast of the flood. Both seemed like something that should be worshipped to them. They liked this place.

Neon paint and rusty metal spines were everywhere among the shantytown, raucous laughter cut through the clang of metal, and the air itself was heavy with an unmistakable stink of unwashed bodies and leather. They felt it so quickly as they'd crunched through the dirt paths that split the weaving rows of scrapped together tents, making their way to the recruitment line. A fleeting tickle of a sensation that hadn't filled their belly in so long. That this was like...

home.

The twins themselves were cagey and difficult to pull usable intel about. They gave sermons from the crumbling balconies of the fortress to the swathes of screaming acolytes below, too far for JK to get a clear eye on them but dressed like Sirens at least. Swirling loops of pacifying blue along the woman, and the man... jagged lines and curved whorls of a vicious red they'd never seen on any living or dead Witch. He was off. That one was wrong, and his sister made her agreement on that clear enough in how she acted next to him. She was the star, she was in the limelight, and he was relegated to a place behind her when she spoke to her worshippers and basked in their screeched worship. Odd for a "God-King" to be left in shadows, they'd thought.

Odd indeed.

They reported back to Lilith in Sanctuary whenever the opportunity arose to leave the growing "City", cult movement, basic info on what they could see as a blossoming threat to raiders, and it was always met with sneers of disgust and pity. Monsters, she'd sighed. Just using the bandits as fodder. JK's eyes flicked to the masks decorating the trophy wall behind her.

"Whatever you say, commander".

Mouthpiece had kept his word. Fully aware of what had happened to JK's clan and uncomfortable with seeing something he believed to be a walking curse among the COV's war parties, he'd purposefully sent them on suicide runs with some of the less physically capable recruits. "Trial by fire" he saw it as, simple logic when it came to survival on Pandora. Let the weak earn their place - if they die, they die. That's the law of the land, and losing the soft only leaves the clan stronger. Except, JK' scout parties just kept coming back. It had seemed almost a fluke the first couple of times, scouts didn't last long after all, but as it repeated again, and again, Mouthpiece and higher members of the raid parties began to notice.

A combination of Hellion war training and their years of working side by side with their brother had left an understanding of why having others watch your back was more beneficial than only caring about your own neck, especially when you weren't as big as the next guy. JK was a survivor, they'd never been willing to lay down and die so the rest of the clan could be down a "weak link", and their knife-edge instincts merged with a care for the other scouts not usually seen amongst Bandits meant they were teaching the team. Unifying them as a group who responded to signal whistles, barked cant, warcries that triggered defence formations and eyes on flanks. They were leading without being called a leader, and as that first year slowly ticked by, they were being noticed.

Sharp eyes that scrutinised numbers and statistics were watching the growing ratio of successful raids to lost bodies from the recessed shadows of the looming Cathedral while Jak-Knife trained and barked orders at recruits in the garrison that sprawled in the white hot sunlight below, and eventually, the day came where the God-King knew their name.

They'd stood shoulder to shoulder with their boys as they lined facing the burning light at Mouthpiece's demand. The mask lenses had done barely anything to block out Pandora's vicious sun as he'd approached, and they'd shuddered at the warchief's hissed warning to show due respect, or die where they stood. He wasn't accepting of failure, they knew that from the hushed whispers that spread across the camp at night. He expected perfection, and word from within the now sprawling architecture of the growing Cathedral was that neither twin took insult lightly. She sucked the life out of the undeserving and he, well, he supposedly just ripped heretics clean apart.

Father Troy had been all sharp angles and gaunt bone as he'd stopped his slow pace in front of them and hunched to lean down to their eye level. They'd realised how wrong they'd been about his appearance as the heavy furs that splayed across his shoulders like a mantle blotted out the sun behind him and framed his jagged silhouette in light.

Tyreen wasn't short.

Troy was a monster.

It had been hard to pick up on his scale when they'd only seen him next to his sister, they'd just figured she was a smaller woman and him a tall man, but the reality of his size was beyond intimidating now that they could see with frightening intimacy that the scrapped together prosthetic that he held at his side so effortlessly was as long as they were tall.

A glint of gold teeth through a smile they'd thought more Skag than human snapped them out of their shock, and he'd congratulated them. Thanked the "Jak-Knife" he'd been watching so closely for their excellent work on the field, waved the disturbingly proportioned metal claws of his arm towards their team and praised their group promotion, slathered honey-thick words from a barbed tongue about how they'd be blessed by being the honour guard for a God now - a fine reward for their outstanding work... yes?

The others had gasped in stuttered praise and whimpered thanks while Jk had nodded respectfully, knowing damn well that Calypso wasn't really asking at all.

The newly titled vanguard escorted him everywhere, and that meant a shift in JK's life within the blossoming city that they could not have prepared for. They no longer slept on bare ground when not visiting Sanctuary for updates, they were brought into the twin's cathedral, were able to see its glory with their own eyes for the first time. The inside wasn't anything like the still decrepit outer walls surrounded by scaffolding that workers scurried across like ants, it was like nothing Jak-Knife had ever seen.

A bastion of worship, vast cavernous stone halls spread with clan banners in colours they'd almost forgotten, neon blazing lights framing sprawling stained glass windows depicting Saints and Clergy who's names they'd heard but never put a face to.

Ur-Aurum, scowling from under heavy brows, framed in monochrome and gold. Coins and bullets pouring from his open palms.

Ur-Machina, sharp and vibrant in reds and coppers, oil-stained hands resting gently on the slab of gilded war tech she rested daintily against.

Ur-Vendit, pristine in parallel lines and perfect angles, sneering through a swathe of shining colours as numbers and cash totals ran like ivy through the window's frame.

And something new that had been being assembled along the great hall when they first entered, a half-finished window titled "Oracle" - just the fine lines of lead and a great, staring eye all that they could make out as they followed the priest irritably urging the vanguard group to hurry as they were lead to their chambers.

For the first time they had experienced, JK not only belonged, but they were envied. Their gear was decorated, armour and weapons upgraded at the Father's blessing, and the titles that came with the role were impossible to avoid, whispered in reverence by warriors who would have spat at their feet only a few years ago.

God-King's chosen, God-King's first, God-King's hand, the nods of respect passed to them by warlords like Mouthpiece in passing filled their chest with pride under the weight of its binder, and the trips back to Sanctuary became... harder.

For all they had achieved within the now monstrous in scale COV, the Raiders saw them no differently than they had when they'd first sat alone in Moxxi's. They were still a Bandit, and nothing more. JK was side-eyed, muttered about, treated like an outsider who needed to earn their keep by passing on intel they were risking their life for, all while in the back of their mind being more than aware that they could have this place raised to the ground with a damn WORD. Lilith didn't understand what it meant to be as close to Calypso as they were, that they were beginning to earn his ear.

She wasn't aware that a fucking God cared about their opinion enough to ask for it on long technical rides or when escorting him between meetings, to her, and to the rest of the Raiders, they were still simply a lost native behind a mask that was being handed scraps of decency by people better than them - and the strain of that reality was difficult to ignore. Moxxi tried her best, always there to console and remind them she valued who they were, the beautiful mind they had shared with her in tender moments and long intimate conversations over the last few years, but the insult burned in their gut still.

They weren't just Jak-Knife. They were the God King's chosen, and they were betraying someone who valued them to share internal information on Saints and departments, cashflow and raids, with people who willingly partnered with the Crimson Lance, people who just plain did not seem to understand who they were, what they had earned through sacrifice and blood shed.

But Troy? The longer they spent around Troy the more his own mask began to slip, and the harder it came to see him as any form of enemy. The blessed Father couldn't hide his weak spells or the times illness left him barely able to stand from a bodyguard who was at his side almost every waking moment, there was no way to do so regardless of how much he clearly wished there was. JK saw everything... the spasms, the fainting, heard the whistling of weak lungs when in silence next to the damaged God, saw the black circles under his eyes that the expertly applied makeup he wore could hide at a distance. He'd been aggressive about it at first, vicious and hurtful in his reactions when they'd try and assist, but over time, as they made clear that the mockery and pity he was expecting was not going to come, he'd softened. He'd thanked Jak-Knife one night as they scraped together a fire on the salt flats to chase the bitter cold away and keep their king warm.

A God had looked at them with ice blue eyes that reminded them of a face they could no longer remember, and whispered genuine appreciation for them. How could they continue to betray him. How could they hurt him for people who didn't even count JK as human?

They saw a delicate and sickly side of one of the twin God's that felt wrong to share with the raiders, that left a bad taste in their mouth to discuss with Lilith, so they simply didn't. The rationalised that the raiders did not need to know about the self-doubt or painful loss JK saw crack through Troy's facade in private, the raiders didn't need an update on how one of the twins wasn't healthy, that he could struggle sometimes to get to his feet before an audience, or would need a discreet support from the solid weight of their muscle next to his spindly frame after some events.

Lilith didn't need to know it, and as time passed, JK found they were beginning to keep secrets. Little ones at first, justified under the intel not being valuable, but the ease of witholding useful data only increased. Their position, the growing camaraderie with the COV's grunts and militia, the respect in the eyes of worshippers who looked to the Vanguard all fed into the slow realisation that their loyalty simple did not belong to the Vault Hunters, it was to Moxxi, who loved them. It was to Troy, who every day became closer to the memory of Gutpunch they'd try and visualise on lonely nights, see his crooked smile and cool eyes flicker across a face they could no longer place.

The closer JK got with the man behind the King's mask, the harder it became to give over information to the raiders that had any real tactical value...

And that had been Troy's plan, ever since the day he'd discreetly planted a tracker on them while they'd squinted against the blinding sunlight to first look into the face of a God.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 21

A/N- Thank you to everyone who’s still reading! I think there’s gonna be one more part and an epilogue then this will be done :) 💕 

32 weeks Pregnant

"Im so over being pregnant now Wanda you have no idea!" I moaned as we sat in the newly decorated nursery folding the baby clothes id washed through. The extension was finished and Bucky, Steve and Sam had done a great job of doing the twins nursery.

Wanda had been amazing helping me with the girls, i was always so tired nowadays.

"I bet, it looks uncomfortable now. Im glad I'm only having the one!" She laughed holding a hand against her own tiny bump, she and Sam had found out she was pregnant 4 months ago.

"I told Bucky id be the size of a house with these boys! You've seen the size of him so its no surprise is it!" I laughed shaking my head as i rubbed the side of my stomach.

"You okay?" Wanda asked looking concerned.

"Yeah think I've got a foot digging in somewhere.... their running out of room in here now"

"Not long now hun"

"Im counting down the weeks, this whole pregnancy has flown by up until now! Now its taking forever"

"You getting nervous?"

"A little bit, but mostly i just want them here already"

"When is Bucky due back from his trip?"

"Later tonight, it was meant to be tomorrow but he won the case, it all got settled a lot earlier than he thought it would, his driving back tonight"

"Do you want me stay over until he gets home?"

"Its fine Wand his already arranged for Steve to stay when he gets back with the girls and stay until his home"

"Thats okay then, i just didn't want you being on your own"

"Im never on my own lately" i shook my head and laughed.

"Their very protective" she agreed, they had been terrible lately! One of them was always with me incase anything happened. The only reason they weren't here now was because Wanda was here!

"I know they mean well but they are driving me crazy! Every time i go to get up their there! I cant even go to the bathroom without questions"

"That would drive me crazy too! I'll kick Sam's ass if he does that!".

We spent another 30 minutes or so sorting the clothes and other bits before heading downstairs for some tea. Not long after that Steve got back with the girls, he had taken them to the zoo for the day and they all looked exhausted... Steve included!

"Hey you guys, have you had a nice day?" I asked as Allie and Brooke came straight over and cuddled up to me.

"Yeah it was soooo good" Allie smiled up at me before stroking my huge bump.

"Hi baby brothers! I missed you"

"I just felt a kick" Brooke laughed holding a hand to the side of my tummy where i had been feeling it before.

"Looks like they missed their big sisters huh?" I smiled at them both.

"Im gonna head home now Steve's back to keep you company. Call me if you need anything" Wanda said hugging me goodbye before saying goodbye to Steve and the girls and heading off.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep once Wanda had left. Steve ordered some pizza's for the girls dinner because he didn't want to wake me up, when i finally did wake up the pains in my side were back with a vengeance!

"You okay sweetheart?" Steve asked looking worried.

"Yeah just getting uncomfortable.... would you be okay keeping an eye on the girls while i go take a bath, see if it eases off a bit. They might move a bit so its not so bad"

"Yeah sure"

"thanks Steve" i gave him a smile and went up to the bathroom.

STEVE'S POV

I was sitting in the living room watching The Lion King with the girls when i heard Y/N calling for me.

"Steve...?....STEVE!!"

"What??" I called back rushing upstairs to the bathroom "What is it??!" I asked from the other side of the door.

"Erm...I think the babies are coming!" She called back sounding like she was freaking out.

"Oh shit..... have your waters broke?!"

"How do i know im in the tub!! All i know is it hurts like a bitch!"

"Okay. Okay.... let me call Sam and Wanda to come look after the girls and i'll take you to the hospital"

"Call Bucky!! If this is it i want him there!"

"Okay im calling him now" i told her pulling out my cell and dialling Bucky.

"Steve...." she said quietly from inside the bathroom.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Im gonna need you to help me out of the tub..... i can't do it on my own"

Oh shit!

"Hey Steve, everything okay?" Bucky answered after the second ring.

"No Buck! No! Everything is not okay! I think Y/N's having the babies and now i have to go help her out of the tub!"

"What?? But its too early! This isn't supposed to be happening yet!!" Bucky said loudly "I'm still a couple hours out.... erm can you get her to the hospital and i'll meet you there?.... call Becca to come watch the kids...."

"Im gonna call Sam and Wanda their closer, Wanda said to call if we needed anything"

"Okay that works"

"Buck, what about the fact i gotta get your girl outta the tub??"

"Steve!! Will you hurry up for fuck sake!" Y/N yelled through the door.

"Just do it pal, you gotta help her for me"

"Okay, I'm gonna put you on speaker...."

As i opened the bathroom door i stuck my head in slowly and let out a sigh of relief when i saw she had pulled her towel over her to hide her nakedness.

"Did you reach Buck?"

"Im here baby" Bucky said as i put the phone down on the counter and went to help her up from the tub.

"Bucky..... how long are you gonna be?"

"Couple hours tops....i'll be there i promise! But i need you to go with Steve. His gonna stay with you until i get there"

"Okay".

Once i helped Y/N out of the tub i wrapped a dry towel around her and helped her into the bedroom so she could get dressed.

"Im gonna call Sam while you get dressed, i'll be just outside if you need me" i told her with a reassuring smile.

Reader POV

I was still getting dressed when i heard the knocking at the front door.

"Uncle Steve, Uncle Sam and Auntie Wanda are at the door!" Brooke called up the stairs.

"Okay sweetheart, can you let them in please?"

"Okay"

"Steve, you can come in I'm dressed" i called to him, he came in and grabbed my bag i had packed for the hospital and then wrapped an arm around me to help me downstairs.

"You okay?" Wanda asked as soon as she saw me.

"Honestly i have no idea" i shook my head and laughed nervously "thanks for coming"

"No worries darlin'.... i blue lighted it here!" Sam laughed, that would explain how they got here so quick.

"Okay lets get you to the hospital.... i dont want to have to deliver these babies" Steve joked before leading me out to the car.

When we arrived at the hospital they took us straight through to a delivery room and made me change into a hospital gown (which Steve had to help with!) And then hooked me up to various machines to monitor mine and the babies heart beats. Id been here for over an hour now and the contractions were getting so much worse, i was already tired and i hadn't even gotten to the bad bit yet.... I'm pretty sure Steve hates me for squeezing his hand so tight every time a contraction hits, but he smiles through gritted teeth and tries to keep me calm.

"I want Bucky.... why is it taking so long?" I moaned after getting through a rather bad contraction.

"He'll be here soon sweetheart" Steve smiled brushing my sweaty hair back from my face.

"Thank you for staying with me Steve, I'm not sure how id be coping on my own" i told him truthfully "owww! Shit my back is cramping...."

"You can turn her onto her side and rub her back dad" a nurse that i hadn’t even noticed til now said to Steve as she checked the monitors.

"Oh... oh I'm not dad, I'm dad's best friend. His on his way"

"Oh sorry i just assumed. You can still help her out though" she shrugged.

"Sure, i can do that"

"Its fine you don't have to....." i started to say not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"I got you, come on lets get you on your side" he smiled helping me roll onto my side so he could massage the cramp from my back.

"Oh my god Steve! You've got magic hands i swear!" I moaned as the pressure started to ease.

"Don't let Buck hear you moaning my name like that sweetheart he might kick my ass" he chuckled trying to make me laugh.

"Too late punk" came the voice of the man i was waiting for.

"Bucky! Your here!" I cried as he walked over and kissed me.

"I told you i would be didn't i?"

"I was just trying to help" Steve said quickly holding his hands up.

"I know, thanks Steve. Thanks for looking out for my girl" they exchanged a manly hug before Bucky took his place rubbing my back.

"Anytime, girls got a grip on her just a heads up. I think she broke my hand"  we all started laughing at that but the room fell silent when the alarm on one of the monitors started going off.

"What is that.....whats going on?!" I said panicking as the nurse came back in followed closely by the Doctor. The Doctor stood at the machine looking at a print out before turning to face us.

"Lay her on her back please.... at last one of the babies is in distress" the doctor said. Bucky helped me turn onto my back again and the Doctor started pushing around at my stomach.

"Ow!!!" I cried out in discomfort squeezing Bucky's hand.

"What are you doing!?" Bucky snapped at him looking like he was ready to murder the doctor.

"Im trying to turn the babies a bit, i think one of them may have the cord trapped...." he said as he continued trying to manipulate the babies positioning. Suddenly the alarm stopped beeping and he stepped back to the machine.

"Y/N, i think we're going to have to perform a c-section. The babies are in distress and your not dilated enough yet to do this naturally. Usually we'd give you some medication to help you along but i really don't want to leave them much longer. The quicker we can get them out the better" 

"Okay.... whatever you think is best Doc. I just want my babies to be safe"

"Nurse go tell them to prep the OR"

"Yes Doctor" she said quickly before rushing out.

"Lets go have these babies shall we?"

I nodded at the Doctor and turned to look at Bucky "Buck im scared"

"You'll be fine baby, i'll be right there. You've got this" he smiled kissing me quickly.

"I'll wait in the waiting room, good luck sweetheart" Steve beamed down at me pressing a kiss to my head before hugging Bucky. The nurse came back with a porter who pulled my bed out and started wheeling me down towards the OR, Bucky walking along side me holding my hand as we got ready to meet our newest additions.

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[stripper-patrick]

Birth👣 Thor

Back Home 🌑, I’m pregnant 🥀, Cravings 🍱, Hormones 🎭, Baby shower 🧸, Birth👣

Warnings: language, fluff, angst

Relationship: Thor x black plus sized reader

I’m at the mall with Okoye doing some last minute baby shopping. “So Y/N are you excited?”

“I’m nervous” I say rubbing my stomach “I know this one will have a good home to go to”

“I can’t believe your giving Bean up”

“He or she can’t grow up in the home me and Thor will provide. He hasn’t talked to me since I told you all including him”

“He feels like you left him out on the option” I pick up a brown fuzzy footie type thing with little ears and a little tail on the butt. I grab the right size and take it with me.

“It’s not like I don’t want Bean this was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make but when you have a situation like me and Thor that’s a recipe for heartbreak and disaster. since the baby shower we’ve been arguing like hell. I honestly think this is it”

“Y/N don’t say that”

“I mean who knows he might go back to Jane” I feel a small cramp in my stomach. Maybe that’s from standing so long. I pay for the footies and we leave.

...

I’m back at the compound and I’m still getting those cramps. I should take it easy and rest.

I sit on the couch and turn on the tv flipping through movies. I get frustrated not finding anything and turn it off. I go upstairs to my room and take a shower. I really don’t feel like putting on clothes so I grab some underwear and a a t-shirt before I lay down in the bed falling asleep.

....

I wake back up at 12 feeling the cramps coming on stronger. Like really strong. I try to stand up but I have to crouch down. Finally once it’s over I go to the bathroom. I pee for a little bit but it’s just keeps coming until a big splash drops in the toilet. I look down to see a little more pee than usual. “Son of a bitch” I get up and flush the toilet and go back to the bed. Another cramp hits harder than the first and I scream into the bed.

“Ok I’m ok” I breathe through my nose and out my mouth until another contraction hits. My back is killing me. I really don’t wanna wake anyone up but at this point something’s gotta give. I grab my robe and wrap it around my body.

I take 2 steps and feel another contraction. Tears form in my eyes during it and I crouch down again. Finally it’s over and I stand up as quickly as I can and walk to the door. I open the door and place my hand on the walls supporting myself. I continue breathing through my nose and out my mouth.

Maybe tea should help calm it down. It always helps me why should this be any different. I pour water into the tea kettle and set it on the stove before feeling another contraction. I place the tea bag into a mug and wait for it warm up. During that time I rock my hips and breathe in and out getting through another one.

Tears spill from my eyes and the kettle screams. I stand up and pour the water in there adding sugar. I take a sip feeling the warm liquid flow through my chest.

I put my head down feeling a strong one come on.

“Y/N?” I hear the voice of Bucky come into the kitchen. I keep my head down too in pain to give a response.

“Y/N what’s wrong” I feel him come near me and I grab his hand squeezing it slightly.

“Are you ok?” He moves my hair out the way.

“My water broke about 15 minutes ago” I say lifting my head. His man bun kills me every time.

“Oh shit why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t wanna wake anyone but it hurts so bad” he freaks out “I’m gonna get everyone” he runs and shouts through the compound waking everyone up. I walk over to a chair when the hardest one yet strikes and I yell out bending over. I rock myself feeling like pain is never ending.

“Holy shit. We need to go to the hospital” This time it’s Peter. He comes over but looks super scared to touch me.

I shake my head and point to my back. He tried to rub it but his tiny fingers aren’t doing anything for me.

I feel large hands being replaced and the good smell of teakwood cloud my nostrils. It’s Thor.

“Bruce your a doctor do you know how to do this?” Thor asks. I stand up straight and stretch my back before I sit down.

“Thor I’m a scientist not everyone who carries the title Dr. is a doctor” he says

“I know how to” Okoye says.

“You do?” I ask. She nods. She grabs a latex glove pulling it on.

“I was an intern in Wakanda when I wasn’t serving my king. Now do you feel any contractions right now?” I shake my head no.

“Ok open your legs and stop me if one comes” I do as told and Thor’s eyes go wide as he watches her stick 2 fingers up my vagina.

I writhe in my seat and push her hand away screaming when another contraction comes. This pain is terrible. I grab Thor’s hand.

“What did you do? She’s dying?” He gets riled up but knows better than to let go of my hand.

“No Thor her cervix is opening up to prepare for the baby’s head. She’s about 3cm dilated”

“Just breathe your ok” Thor crouches down demonstrating breathing. I grab his shoulder copying his breathing. The pain dies down and I throw my head back.

“I think now should be a good time to talk about our differences before Bean comes in this world” I say

“I think we should too” he pulls up a chair in front of me and sits. “I don’t approve of giving Bean up for adoption. You didn’t let me know and I damn sure wouldn’t have consented to giving up our child”

“Thor do you see the relationship we have? It’s damaged, it’s ruined. We’ve been going at each other’s throat since last month when I announced it. I know you’ve gone back to Jane and that’s fine I don’t care but someone like her will never be around Bean so I did our child a favor and gave him a better life”

“I don’t approve”

“Well I’m sorry you don’t. I don’t want to either but it’s what’s best” he huffs and stands up. He goes to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water. He sits back in front of me, his legs wide open, handing to me. I take the water and groan pulling my arms in front of my face and leaning down on his legs.

“Y/N remember what I told you just breathe” I stretch out my arm and feel a small hand grab it and rub my shoulder. Finally after the contraction and look up and see Peter. His skin is pale and he looks truly mortified.

“I’m ok Peter” I look to Thor and take a sip of my water.

“One of y’all do me a favor and grab my phone” Natasha runs and grabs it handing it to me. I dial the adoptive parents number.

“Tony is it ok if they come here?” He nods. He looks half dead “go to bed I’ll scream when the baby comes”

“Nope were right here with you” he says rubbing his eyes.

“Hello” I answer

“Is it the baby?” Amelia says with excitement.

“Yes come to Stark Towers” I say

“On our way”

I hang up and can feel Bean kicking.

When the adoptive parents, Amelia and Caden come in I smile at them.

“Who are they?”

“We’re the adoptive parents. You must be Thor” Caden holds his hand out to shake Thor’s but of course he wants to be a dick

“Mhmm” he mumbles “well I guess you don’t need my help since they’re here right?”

“Jesus Thor will you take your dick out of your ass for 2 seconds and see that your girlfriend is about to have your baby?” Bruce yells “she needs you just like she needs the rest of us. And I mean that in the most respectful way I’m not saying women need anyone they run the world-“

“Bruce I swear I’m gonna kick you in your chest if you don’t shut up”

“Yes ma’am”

....

Hours. It’s been hours. The sun is shining bright it’s about 9am and Okoye says I’m about 7cm. I’ve never felt anything like this in my life. I’ve tried a warm bath and laying in bed even laying over the kitchen sink and nothings working.

“I’m so exhausted” I cry. Thor kisses my head as he sits beside me.

“Please don’t cry” he says. I look at him to see tears falling down his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t like seeing you like this. Okoye if you don’t do something I will” he yells

“There’s nothing to do but wait” she yell back. They go back in forth until I scream writhing in pain from another contraction.

“I need to push” I say. Everyone’s eyes dilated and Okoye checks me again.

“She’s Ready. Get her to the bed” Thor picks me up out of nowhere and lays me on the bed. Everyone follows and Amelia and Caden are by my side. Caden holds my hand but Thor gives him a death glare that makes him move to the side. He tries to hold my leg and Thor nearly kills him since he can see EVERYTHING.

“Wait I cant do this” I say. Okoye looks down there. All of a sudden she hits the floor.

“Shit” I say. Bruce steps in and takes over while Natasha puts Okoye in the living room.

Thor makes me look at him “what did you tell me when my father died?”

“Everything would be ok” I say

“Exactly I won’t let anything happen to you Y/N you know that now push out little Bean” I nod mustering up all my courage and strength. I bare down curling my toes when I feel that terrible feeling of your body ripping in half.

I let go and take a breath.

“Come on Y/N. Bean already has a lot of hair” Caden comes down and Thor’s voice booms throughout the room. Next they’re the ones to get into.

“Jesus take the wheel I will shove both you out of here in a second” I bare down again this time squeezing Thor’s hand even harder.

“Crowning” Bruce calls

“Fuck” I yell. A tear slips from my eyes and Thor wipes it kissing my head.

“You’re doing so good my love come on”

“Ok uh 1 more big push Y/N give it all to me” Thor stares at Bruce and he apologizes. Jealous bastard.

I bare down once more screaming. It feels like someone is shoving their hand up in my stomach and ripping out my guts.

He holds up the baby and all I see is blue. I feel my heart drop to my butt. He pats the butt but no response.

“Come on” He continues rubbing its stomach until I hear those faint cries.

“It’s a girl” he smiles. Bruce puts the baby on my chest and she’s so little.

“Hi honey” I wrap her in a towel

...

I’m laying in the cold ass hospital bed and they roll the baby in.

“Here she is” the nurse puts her in my arms. I need a name.

“A group of people out there is waiting want me to send them in?”

“Give me a minute” she nods leaving me with the baby. She opens her eyes slightly and I already see she has her fathers eyes. I touch her little hand and she smiles showcasing those deep dimples. Tears blue my vision then stream down my face.

“I can’t” I shake my head “I can’t do this to you”

The nurse comes back smiling.

“Can you get bring everyone” she nods walking back out. I stare at my baby girl until they come. “I think I know what your names gonna be”

The entire gang comes in and they smile.

“Caden and Amelia?” I call out. They step forward and I sigh.

“I know I’ll feel guilty for doing this but I can’t give up my baby. I get attached to her the first day she was in there so I’ll compensate-“

“Y/N we knew you’d keep that baby. We had a strong feeling so we adopted another child. It’s ok” I smile. They kiss my head and Thor nearly loses his shit. The couple leaves and I look to him.

“Why do you have to be so jealous?” In response he rolls his eyes

“What’s her name?”

“Heiress Angel Odinson” Thor’s face lights up like a Christmas tree “is that ok?”

“Yes” he walks closer and I lift her up. He declines quickly “She’s too little”

“Hold her” I relentlessly place her in his arms and she’s about as big as his hand and wrist. He starts crying again.

“Aww big man is crying” Tony smile patting his shoulder.

“Tony go in my pocket and grab the box” he does so pulling out a black matte box.

“Y/N you’re the most beautiful and the strongest woman I know. You had our child at home no medicine. I know we’ve had our differences but one thing you got wrong when we talked earlier was that I’m still in love with Jane. And that’s not true. To prove that” he looks at Tony and he moves next to my side getting on one knee making tears spill over as I laugh at his stupidity “I want to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman on earth and Asgard. Will you marry me?” By now I’m crying buckets of tears.

“Yes” I nod. He comes down and kisses me.

“Well guys we’re gonna have a wedding” the gang cheers.

[swest1903-blog]

What if -a fathers story coping with miscarriage

What If ? This is something I have asked myself over and over again and I suspect that all dads to be who have had to deal with the loss of a child have had the same thoughts. We didn't have the surprise that many couples get when discovering they are going to be parents, my wife and I had been receiving fertility treatment, this was to be our last attempt using “clomid” before the doctors investigated further. Day 28 came and still no sign of that moment when your wife looks and you know “not this month” a test was taken and not much hope was held. At first glance there was only 1 line, but as I looked harder I could see the faintest 2nd line (or was I looking for something that wasn't their) many tests were taken over the coming days and they kept saying POSITIVE, we were over the moon but were told not to get too excited, the clinic would do a test in 2 weeks to confirm if the news we wanted was in fact true.  My heart was pounding as the nurse looked for a little flicker on the screen, it seemed like an eternity and then the words came “theres your baby” I gripped my wife’s hand as she gripped mine (we were going to be parents). Telling my parents that they were going to be Grandparents again was a very proud moment. The weeks passed, keeping this secret was getting harder, deciding on names and buggies was now the main topic of conversation (I was enjoying every minute of it) 12 weeks came and like the first scan we were gripping each others hands, and there it was the heartbeat, the scan wasn't just a bean anymore it looked like a baby. We got so much pictures, smiles from ear to ear. The picture went public and everyone was over the moon for us.  A couple of weeks passed and then we decided to find out the sex, my wife was 16/17 weeks Pregnant at the point. IT'S A GIRL, well I was over the moon, I was going to be a daddy to a little girl. My wife was excited as she had all these plans, Pink, Pink and a little more pink. The next day was a nice warm day so I decided I would go play golf, boast about going to be a dad , etc. My wife was working and said she would either get a taxi home or walk depending how she felt after work. She called to say she got a taxi and was running a bath and she would see me when I got home. 2 holes later I’m putting out when I feel my phone go, all I remember was my wife crying down the phone “somethings wrong, somethings coming out of me”. I took off over that golf course and got to the car, called my parents to tell them something was wrong and I would let them know. I got home in no time at all, ran inside and my wife was on the bed. I called an Ambulance which seemed to take forever but in reality took only a few minutes. The nurses were asking questions, taking readings and doing checks. A female surgeon turned up and examined what was going on. She was going to Theatre but her senior consultant would do the procedure to see if they could solve the problem. I went outside and made some calls thats when it hit me that something was wrong, I had been staying strong for her and didn't even let it hit me I guess. She was taken to Theatre and I went home to get changed and get the car, I arrived back at hospital as she was being wheeled back into the ward. As I walked into the single room I looked at the nurse and she just shook her head. I walked out the room into the corridor and fell to the floor in an unconsolable mess, my family were there to help me to my feet and calm me down. The next morning I was attending the funeral of my Nana (grandmother) I was numb and broke down whenever anyone tried to speak to me or say how sorry they were. I spoke to the man who held the service who knew my wife and I because he married us not 2 years previous. I told him what happened and he said he would do anything he could for us. I got a call form my wife that the surgeon wanted to talk to us. The surgeon came and spoke to us he said the words “Premature Rupture of Membranes” he tried explaining but it wasn't sinking in. we were told my wife’s cervix opened and the membrane burst when they tried to insert a stitch to keep everything intact. We were now faced with the decision to let nature take its course or “take a tablet” we had just heard her heartbeat so in our eyes if she was fighting we would fight too. This went on for a few days, hearing the heartbeat and thinking we made the right choice, she can do this I kept thinking, she is fighting so hard. On the Thursday our world stood still, my wife gave birth to our daughter that evening. She never took a breath and was still born. “what was her name” the nurse asked; “Olivia” I said, she weighed less than a tub of Pringles 156 grams. She was perfect in every way. We held her, we looked at her we fell in love with her. She was wrapped in a lovely pink knitted blanket with a knitted hat and in a Moses basket. The nurses done a terrific job ensuring My wife was well looked after and that she was comfortable. It fell to me to call Family and friends, one of the worst things to do telling people your child has passed away. We were given leaflets on what service we would like, we didn't have to decide then but we did, a burial seemed the right choice. Once we got home we sat in silence, all the baby pink things that were bought not even a week before were sitting in the corner.   Flowers were arriving in what seemed to be a never ending shipment. People had been so generous and there sympathies were heartfelt and appreciated. We started going over poems, the tears started to some but I felt like I shouldn't cry as I HAD to be strong for my wife. We chose a poem, service was organised. We placed the only picture where the 3 of us were in it (the picture we put on Facebook) into the coffin with our little girl with a letter explaining how much we loved her and wanted her to be part of our life. It was just the 2 of us at the service, when the poem was read I had tears that were rolling down my face that I tried to stop because I HAD to be strong for my girls. We went for something to eat and to raise a glass to our baby girl. We don't want to cry anymore But the pain won't go away Our hearts are torn in two Because our baby couldn't stay We don't want to cry anymore God had other plans for you Mommy and Daddy will get through this someday But right now our world is blue We don't want to cry anymore We never thought we'd be torn apart Even though we can't hold you in our arms We will always hold you in our hearts We don't want to cry anymore Our Angel, there was nothing we could do Mommy and Daddy will miss you so much And never forget, we will always love you Over the coming weeks things would return to normal, we got away from it all and went on a little holiday, came home and got about our business, the whole time she was never far from our thoughts, I see her everyday when I look at my arm and see her name with her footprints and the saying “Briefly known forever loved” Fast forward to February 2015 and I get a message from my wife but it's a picture, “1 - 2 weeks pregnant” I am back on the top of the world, I am going to be a dad, then I start worrying what if we have more complications ? We tell less people this time, we don't make it public, we feel that way if something goes wrong we don't have the anguish of telling the world that we wont be getting our little bundle of joy. I am so happy for my wife as people close to us have told us that they are expecting so I'm glad my wife can join in with all the baby talk, even though she is being very conservative and rightly so, especially after what happened last year. Were in a different room this time but were still holding hands tighter than we ever have. "there's the baby's heartbeat" again I'm on top of the world, but I don’t get too carried away. After what happened last year My wife has to get a procedure that will involve getting a stitch to prevent ”PROM" The procedure was a success, I feel some weight lift off my shoulders and start to believe I am going to be a dad !  “IT’S a girl” she says as we both stare at the screen, tears of joy running down our faces. The name we decided on was "Aimee Olivia” a perfect name for a perfect little girl, I thought. Picking out pregnancy pillows and looking at buggies was becoming a nightly conversation along with wall decorations for the room as we were getting further along in the pregnancy. I was working away from home, constantly talking on the phone and checking in everyday to make sure everything was ok, Getting told how much she was kicking and wriggling about put the biggest smile on my face, getting pictures on how big the bump was getting making me wish I was kissing and talking to Aimee through the bump.  Sitting having some food before I head back to the hotel and my phone rings and it’s my wife “something is wrong” she never calls me. “I haven't felt her move all night, and I have cramping” my heart starts thumping but I know I HAVE to stay strong for her, everything comes rushing back to me from before but I block it out and say to myself “this cant happen again” she is away for a scan so I wait by the phone. “baby she is gone” I break down and try to call her but I cant get through the signal is terrible, I eventually manage. Her heart stopped beating they said, labour pains were starting to get worse, I felt helpless halfway across the world, I organised my flight home which was 5 hours away. I called my parents and everything seemed like a daze, I was fine until I spoke to someone then I would break down, they didn't know what to say, they were in shock also. My wife gave birth to our baby girl and I wasn't there to hold her hand, to give her words of comfort, it felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. I slept for the first 5 hour flight, While I was waiting for my connecting flight I called my wife to tell her I was on my way and waiting for my next flight. The next flight was 8 hours and I hoped it would go by in a flash, an older woman sat next to me and started talking to me asking questions about where I was going etc, well I broke down. I explained everything that happened and she started crying and said a prayer for me which I thought was a very nice gesture. I wish I got her details to thank her for being next to and listening to me. I got home and my parents were waiting at the airport for me, my mum couldn't look at me as I knew she was ready to burst, my dad grabbed me and hugged me I felt the tears coming but I held back and grabbed my bag, this felt all to familiar and I dint know what I was going to say when I seen my wife.  As I opened up the door to the single room I pretty much collapsed on my wife and started crying, all I could say was “sorry” “I should have been here" she asked me if I wanted to see her and my immediate response was “yes" when she came in everything came flooding back from when this happened with Olivia but she was much bigger this time, my wife had been 27 weeks into her pregnancy when this happened. she was beautiful, again a beautiful baby pink blanket with a little hat. some photos had been taken and I looked at them, my wife holding her and looking at her perfect little face, these first pictures should bring joy not sadness. Again burial arrangements were made and the same man carried out the service and it was just the two of us. Aimee was buried across from her sister just 10 feet away, I liked this because I knew they were close to each other. “this isn't right” I said to myself, I shouldn't have to bury 1 child let alone 2. Of course I got the usual “but how are YOU” “I'm doing good, trying to be strong for my wife” which was true but it was killing me inside. Driving to and from the office I would cry in the car, I would get upset at work and have to walk outside incase anyone seen me, explaining to the few people at work that knew she was pregnant what happened. The whole time this was happening to us others that were pregnant were now having their baby’s. This was extremely hard on both of us but they knew what we were going through and were very understanding. I am no writer by any stretch of the imagination but I wanted to share my experience to anyone else going through something similar, There is nothing wrong with showing your feelings and that you are hurting. I have found that I ask myself what if  quite often. What if someone picked up that there was something wrong during a scan, what if I managed to get  her to the hospital sooner, what if I wasn't away working, what if I made sure she ate healthier, and what if I made her quit her job so she was at home instead of work. I know I am not alone with thinking what if ? If you are going through this then talk to people open up, mention their names all this helps.  Below is something I have found that I believe any man that has been through this type of situation will resinate with. It must be very difficult  To be a man in grief,  Since "men don't cry"  and "men are strong"  No tears can bring relief. It must be very difficult  To stand up to the test,  And field the calls and visitors  So she can get some rest. They always ask if she's all right  And what she's going through.  But seldom take his hand and ask,  "My friend, but how are you?" He hears her crying in the night And thinks his heart will break.  He dries her tears and comforts her,  But "stays strong" for her sake. It must be very difficult  To start each day anew.  And try to be so very brave-  He lost his baby too.

[jawllines]

FOR THE BLURB I think vampy should be a combination of grumpy and needy. like he’s getting frustrated about not having his way but also following y/n around like a dog on a leash, crossing his arms and furrowing his eyebrows but then watching her every move and trying to touch her subtly. And he’s also angry because his pants are way too tight suddenly and he cant seem to unwind.

oKAY DuE TO VERY POPULAR DEMAND THIS IS THE VAMP!HARRY PERIOD BLURB, MEANING Y/N IS ON HER PERIOD  AND HARRY OES DOWN ON HER.  

THIS IS A V NICHE TOPIC, UNDERSTANDABLY, SO IF YOU AREN’T INTO THAT THEN THIS IN’T THE BEST ONE FOR YOU (ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY I DON’T GO INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT HER BLEEDING DURING OR ANY OF THAT, JUST THAT HARRY’S ENJOYING HIMSELF)

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION 

For as grumpy as Harry always is, Y/N has never seen him grumpier than now.

 It was pleasantly endearing; the furrow in his brow deep, sat on the opposite end of the couch because, “It is harder to keep my hands off of you, when you’re like this.” The pouty lug grumbled, shifting tirelessly, doing his damndest not to sniff the air so closely.

 Being alive for hundreds of years and not being able to indulge in something, is quite trying on a vampire, Y/N found. Especially when that something is attached to the person they’ve bonded with – the denial of a “treat” so to speak, was just absolutely terrible. It threw him into the lowest of pouts, grumbles, and heavy sighs, that made her giggle from the opposite end of the couch or wherever they’d be. He would try to avoid contact all that he could at this time, as to not drive himself mad, but he still wanted to be around. Wouldn’t leave to spare himself the trouble of smelling her, but would instead just attempt to keep his distance at the very least.

Because Y/N was on her period, and that was just…well, that was just something Harry hadn’t quite experienced before, in a partner. Sure, he’s smelt it on women before, but he had never particularly cared. Had never particularly cared for humans in general, really, before having his very own, to cuddle and squeeze, and smell. Never cared for their bodies or knowing the inner-workings of them. Never cared to do much research other than what points of their body was easiest to draw the most blood from when he’s feeding.

 However, his little human had very suddenly smelled different to him one day, and he had panicked as he’d been at the door – barging in, dropping all that was in his arms as he ran to her. He found her in the kitchen, sat on a chair, hunched over a notebook while something was in the oven. Immediately did he run for her, checking her all over to see the source of the blood that was on her somewhere, “Are you alright? Where are you wounded? I will fix it – tell me, so I may fix it.” He had pleaded, tilting her chin from left to right, squishing at her arms, legs, tummy, and all, his furrowed brow deepening as he was unable to find the source.

 And Y/N, as sheepish and bashful as she’s ever been, had to explain why she smelled like blood.

 That’s the first time Harry had proposed it, crouching down to his knees, big hands spread on her thighs and pushing them open for him to fit in between, “I will clean you.” He offered casually, but Y/N snapped her legs shut with her eyes going wide.

 “Aish, Harry, s’not for that!”

 He had pouted, thumbs digging into the skin, “If not for a treat, then why the bloody hell is it in such a place?”

 “Google it!” She had grumbled, giving him a playful tap to the forehead before tilting back to her work, “Take the cake from the oven, would you? I’m nearly finished with my notes.”

 Y/N hadn’t been sure if he’d actually googled it or not, but through the rest of the night he’d been a pouty, grumpy mess. It was funny to her, seeing him stalk around. He was listening, albeit he hated taking orders, Y/N was the only one he would take them from.

 Though he tried to be sneaky at first. Would be the sweetest he could be, doting over her as always but this time without a grump all day, and would be at her every beck and call. He thought that maybe if he was really good and nice he’d allow her to lick into her just this once, because he wanted it bad…so badly, he could truly cry…but each time his smart little human caught onto his deceitful thinking, swat at his bum, and tell him that he wasn’t getting to.

 So, he keeps his hands to himself.

 However, something was just irking his nerves today. Whether it be Y/N was in a pair of shorts that made Harry dizzy, or the fact she’d forgone a bra for the time being, and he couldn’t help but stare at her breasts without nearly drooling. Or maybe even how she just keeps…just keeps bending over in front of him…even unintentionally…it’s driving him fucking mad. Up the fucking wall mad, and there was nothing he could do about it, besides deal with how tight his trousers have been all day and hope that his stiffy might ease up even a little bit. He wanted so badly to split her thighs open and take his treat, but she was not one to budge on the matter. No matter how many times Harry brings up a scene he’d watched once on Hemlock Grove, with a man she was always keen towards licking into a girl in the bathroom while she was on hers.

 This lead them tonight, with Harry in a huff on the other end of the couch and Y/N amused on her side. Yet she couldn’t fully enjoy it, as for the cramps riddling her abdomen. They were bad the first few days always, and she could feel the sharp, pinching, pulsating pain that has her crouched into herself. And she attempts to make him unaware that she’s in any pain at all, as he becomes just the most obnoxiously cute, doting boyfriend who frets over her when all she wants is a cuddle.

 Though, she ought to have known Harry would be able to sense it, because as she’s tilted in a position comfortable for her, faced away from him, she feels a shuffling to her right. Then a warm body slipping up against her own, his arms sliding in between hers, palm sitting comfortingly at her lower belly and his nose dipping into her neck. “Harry –” she starts, trying to face him, but he shakes his head and holds tight.

“My little human is in pain,” he murmurs, “I will help.”

With a heavy sigh, Y/N leans back and lets him cradle her to his body, eyes lulling shut when he begins to purr lowly. Though it’s the most inhuman of the things he does, it is one of her favorites – the comforting rumble easing through her muscles, loosening where she feels tight. And while it works on her sore shoulders, it is doing very little to soothe the throb in her lower belly. One so intense that she’s curling into herself once again, taking Harry’s body with her.

 Harry lifts his head from where he’d stuffed it into her throat, but he doesn’t part from her; keeping his forehead resting on the side of her head so his mouth was right at her ear. “Sweetheart,” his lips skim against her cartilage, “Let me help further.”

 “How?” Y/N winces, pressing his palms closer to where she hurts. They weren’t sating the pain entirely, but it was just enough to keep it partially bearable, “I already took medicine and drank the tea you made.”

 That’s another thing, about her precious, grumpy boyfriend. No matter how he would avoid contact he still made sure she was alright – gave her chamomile tea to help her rest, slaved over a stove to cook her dinner, and ushered two paracetamols into her mouth to ease her pain. Hell, even with his own self-proclaimed “no touching” rule, she knows that as soon as he believes she’s asleep, he will snuggle his way beneath her covers and cuddle her to his chest. It’s things like that that make her want to know more of his vampiric nature; where he came from to how others of his kind (besides Louis, who’d she met in passing) acted. In stories and movies, they were never of the same stature – not even the sparkled dream boy Edward from Twilight, could touch on the tender care unyieldingly placed on her by Harry.

 “I’ve read online,” (he did google it) he begins, still speaking into her ear, “That orgasms help to ease the tension.” Y/N shudders at his voice, acutely aware of one of his hands slipping from where it held her lower belly, to skimming down the skin of her leg, tucking into the inside of her thigh and digging his fingertips in, “Let me quell the ache, Little human. You will feel much better once I’ve finished.” He hums, nipping at her lobe with careful intent.

 Whining, Y/N leans her head back against the round of his shoulder, “It’s not like –” she rumples her lips, squinting her eyes closed, “—I don’t think you’d like it Harry.” She all but whines, and Harry hums low, about to refute her, she knows, but she continues, “S’like…think you jus’ like the thought and –”

 “Moppet, I enjoy everything about you in more ways than you will ever be able to comprehend or imagine,” he cuts her off, squeezing her thigh tightly, “I will not continue if you do not wish me to, but do not worry about me. I’m aware of what I’m getting into and it’s mouthwatering to me, n’ my kind, I have found.” His other hand slips from her belly, skating up to cup at the swell of her breast with the apex of his thumb and forefinger, “Also need I remind you of that scene – with the one man you are all too fond over – in which he –”

“Oh goodness Harry, don’t start with that,” she complains but still giggles at the tone his voice had shifted to upon talking about a petty TV crush that makes him grouse and grumble on any other day (“he’s not even…he’s not even that cool, or whatever, why d’ya like him so much? I’m right here n’ much better), “I mean…I don’t mind if you do, I just worry that you won’t enjoy it.”

 This was the green light that Harry had been waiting for, as he maneuvers himself so that he can tuck his head underneath her arm, shifting down to his knees but still leaning in so that his face was level with her chest. In a diligent manner, he peels her shirt up to expose her breasts to him, his eyes lighting up with glee when he is met with them bare. “I can assure you, little human,” he murmurs, “I will enjoy this far too much.”

 He cups them in his hands and Y/N winces just a bit; they’re always quite sore the first few days as well, which was bothersome. It’s part of the reason she wasn’t wearing a bra today, because the fabric was irritating them. Noticing her discomfort, his hold on them relaxes, as he leans forward and takes a tender nipple into his mouth. She gasps when he begins to suck softly, the gentle tugging making her body jolt. A smile begins worming onto his lips as he pops off to go to the other, while keeping the previous nipple he’d had in his mouth occupied with two fingers pinching and pulling at the sensitive bud.

Y/N’s toes curl, because she’s sore and sensitive but it feels good – really good – and it makes her tremble; thighs quivering as he presses himself in between them so he can access her tits with better ease. He parts with a kiss to the very tip of the bud, before moving just above her areola and sucking a greedy mark into the skin. A pitiful whimper gusts from Y/N’s mouth when she feels the small prick of his pointed teeth, having elongated from the excitement.

 He begins to make his descent, but Y/N stops him as his fingers curl into the waistband of her shorts, “Not here,” she tells him, feeling her cheeks heat up intensely as she finishes, “I – um – I don’t want to make a mess.”

 Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, he nibbles at it carefully as he thinks of his next move. When he snaps his fingers, pats her thigh, and says, “One moment, Sweetheart.” Y/N hadn’t imagined that in the next few moments she’d be sat with her shorts and panties off, atop of an appropriately placed red towel on her bed.

Alas, there she was, a ball of nerves and arousal and cramps – all in a muddled battle trying to decipher who would be at the forefront of her mind. Though, like all things, Harry notices immediately when she’s feeling something, and he strokes over her thighs with his knuckles, “Don’t worry, little human, I’ll take care of you,” he promises, “If you wish to stop at any time, you tell me, and I will part from you immediately.”

She nods, chewing at the inside of her cheek and letting her legs part further for him. Harry smiles, and crawls down the bed all while facing her, pretty green eyes shining even in the dark of the room. He delves in with no further preamble, like he’s just ecstatic to be doing it and excited to show Y/N how nice it will still feel.

 And, if she’s honest with herself it does feel remarkable – maybe it’s because she’s aware of how into it he is. How his tongue hasn’t stopped running broad stripes up and down her entirety, moans vibrating through her core while his fingers dig dents into her thighs. The intense feeling of his wet mouth against her tripling as everything is much more sensitive, and swollen, so that she can’t help but mewl and shudder.

 Harry leaves no room for a paper to get in between them, mouthing at her with such fervor that she knows she won’t last very long. Especially when everything begins feeling so…so good, and she forgets why she’d been nervous in the first place, and when Harry slips his hand into hers so she’s squeezing that instead of the sheets. The fire in her lower belly has tightened and twisted it’s flames into her veins, roaming through her body, making her sweat. Toes curling in the blankets and in the air, because Harry hikes up her leg to get even closer, letting it rest on his shoulder.

 He takes her clit into his mouth, pinching it with his lip and Y/N cries out louder than she had intended too. It makes him chuckle, flickering his tongue over it a few times before rumbling low against her, “S’ so swollen pet,” he looks up to her, carnal desire nearly feral in the way it’s raptured through his being – he’s enjoying himself…finally getting the treat he’d been requesting, and waited so patiently for, “You taste so sweet,” he utters, leaning back in, “All of you is so sweet. My favorite treat, you are.”

 When Y/N cums, it crawls up her body slowly, before crashing over her like a flood that had billowed past its point. It’s when he began purring against her body, that it claws through her and she moans, back beginning to arch but Harry holds her hips down and continues to lick her through it greedily. Humming content little notes against her wet heat, as she comes down, twitchy and sensitive, shoving his head away, “Okayokayokay,” she rushes, blinking her eyes open though she hadn’t realized she’d shut them, to see Harry smiling wide, “Gimme – gimme a minute, shit,” she laughs breathlessly as Harry begins to lift himself to his knees.

 Harry would’ve stayed down there for hours, she knows, if she would allow it. He’d thoroughly relished in it, so much so that she doesn’t think he noticed how hard he was in his pants until he followed her gaze. She couldn’t help but stare though – he’d filled out, pressing against the zip of his jeans, so full he’d threatened to break it she thinks.

 They both look down at his cock for a while, before Harry looks up to her, “Do you feel better?” He asks her, and she nods quickly, eyes wide, “Good.” He reaches for the button of his jeans, “But I think we should probably ensure that they stay gone for a while, yeah?”

 Y/N can’t help the smile that quirks at her mouth.

Sneaky bastard.

[mascaracoffee]

A Baby Changes Everything ~Rafael Barba Imagine~

Summary: Rafael Barba had always been a stoic, career man who had stared into the face of many evil without so much as a quiver. It seemed the only thing he feared was this small raven haired baby with eyes like her mother and his last name. 

Attacked

Author’s Note: Someone had asked me about covering how Rafael would act/change when his child was born so I tied this into my story Attacked (this takes place before the events of Attacked). Also, I had originally had the idea for my Rafael Barba/ OFC (Kelly) as a chapter story but I am terrible at keeping those updated. So I’ve decided that only If people are interested (which means you have to comment/ message me!! ;) ) I will post snapshots of the story. For instance write events that pertain to the couple’s life that outlines their story without necessarily following a specific timeline or having filler chapters etc. Example: Kelly’s father interrupting Gabby’s baby shower, Kelly and Rafael’s first meeting, Kelly’s birthday, Kelly and Rafael’s first fight, Rafael proposing etc. Please let me know! I have a few weeks off from nursing school where I could work on them and I’m excited about some of the ideas!

“Objection, your honor! Relevance?”

“He called my witness’ character into question and suggested she was a part of a terrorist organization.” My five foot stature retorted back sharply as my brunette curls flew around me at the speed. My voice rising slightly to highlight the importance before turning slightly toward the defense and gesturing to him “He opened this door your honor and I intend to close it.”

A small smirk pulled at the older judge’s face.  The reputation of Kelly Barba’s was favored gossip in the judges’ chambers. They joked how for a woman of such small stature I could rule a courtroom with one expression, a force to be reckoned with especially in the court of law.

“Overruled”

I turned my attention back to my witness, Rafael chuckle slightly under his breath. Rafael had insisted he be my co-council despite how minute this case seemed. This was to be my last trial before the DA was placing me on mandatory maternity leave, an agreement we had reached much to my dismay. If I had it my way, I would be in court and have this baby right here on the marble tile while still receiving a conviction. I focused back on the task at hand and opened my mouth to inquire the next question whe-

There it was again.

An ache that started off dull before gaining momentum into a strong forceful cramp that kicked through my abdomen into my lower back. My entire body tensed at the feeling, eyes clenched shut and I took a sharp intake of breath my hand ghosting over the bump. Even with my back to my husband I could feel his intense green gaze leave his court notes and bore into me.

“Mrs. Barba” the judge called concerned “Are you alright?”

I nodded counting off the last twenty seconds in my head before the feeling slowly faded; I glanced at my watch to mentally record the time. After shuddering out a breath I straightened my spine and continued the questioning as I began to pace to work out the sore muscles in my abdomen. The questions continued along smoothly for the next fifteen minutes and then, like clockwork, the pain hit again.

“No more questions your honor” I bit out, grunting softly. “However, I would like to call for a recess.”

“A recess?” The judge asked with a humorous laugh “Mrs. Barba, it’s barely 10:30.”

“I realize the time your honor” I groaned softly as the wave of pain hit its peak and I reached behind me for support against the prosecution desk “But I don’t think my baby cares and if I’m right” I gasped again. “a recess would be greatly appreciated unless one of the jury members would like to catch this baby.”

I felt a hand ease around my waist as Rafi’s face appeared beside me. The concern etched in his face aged him by at least ten years, seeming to deepen the worry lines across his face. He gripped my hand which I squeezed tightly as the pain seemed to last longer. A horror stricken judge banged her gavel before declaring a recess until the prosecution could provide a new ADA.

“Your honor come on” the defense cried out as he stood, throwing his pen to the desk angrily “this is obviously a ruse by the prosecution for more time seeing as they have no case against my client.”

Rafael glared at the man and I could see an insult lying on his lips but I squeezed his hand to defuse his anger. We didn’t have time for this. Liv, Sonny, Finn and Amanda had stayed for the trial and were now standing, Finn keys in hand as the rest of the courtroom began to empty. As Rafael grabbed the briefcases I felt a ‘pop’ before a warm wetness coated my legs and dribbled down past my skirt onto the floor.

My eyes rose to meet the bewildered eyes of the defense attorney.

“In case you were wondering I don’t have a broken water bottle up there.”

Rafael stifled a laugh at my snark, shoving papers into the case, snapping it closed. before he and Sonny guided me to a squad car, believing it would be faster than waiting on an ambulance. Thanks to the blaring police sirens the crowds of Manhattan seemed to part like the red sea. I whimpered softly grabbing at Rafael’s hand.

“You’re doing so good Carino” he whispered kissing my hair. “Just breathe.”

Suddenly, the car lurched to a halt as Finn cursed mine and Rafi’s bodies jostling forward at the force.

“Traffic jam” Finn grumbled eyes peaking up through the review mirror before glancing around at the standstill traffic.

“Can you get to 32nd?” Liv asked from the passenger seat an edge to her voice as she took began to look around her mind pondering the next quickest route to the hospital.

“Cant’ bridge is been out for weeks” Finn replied back coolly.

“What? Is my wife supposed to give birth in the back of a squad car?” Rafael barked, sarcastic humor lacing his words.

“What do you want me to do councilor jump the curb onto the sidewalk?” Finn shot back locking eyes with Rafael through the rearview mirror.

“Well actually” Rafael challenged shrugging his shoulders as if it was an obvious answer.

Finn narrowed his dark eyes at Rafi. “Hold on councilors.”

I yelped as Finn indeed pulled the unmarked squad car onto the curb, bystanders crying out as they jumped out of the way of the moving vehicle bypassing the stagnant traffic. I clenched my eyes and cried out as another contraction hit, a new wave of dampness slicking my thighs. My brows furrowed and I pulled my skirt up slightly.  I whimpered at vibrant blood that coated my fingers.

“Rafi”

“What is-“ Rafael stopped mid-sentence as his eyes took in my frightened expression and the blood on my fingers. His face blanched.

Liv turned around in her seat and took in the scene. “Finn step on it.”

Within another 5 minutes of curbside driving and 4 of siren filled road speeding. We arrived at the hospital. Finally, I was placed in a bed, dressed in a mint green cotton gown a nurse on either side of me as they set up IV access and hooked up the monitors of the fetal heart monitor. Rafi stood in the corner of the room keeping an eye on me as he talked in feverish Spanish to his mother. He had removed his suit jacket and had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, keeping his fingers carded in his usually perfectly styled hair. Dr. Purdy entered the room scrubbing her hands together to distribute the hand sanitizer as she monitored the baby’s heart rate on the monitor before turning to me as she pressed along my stomach.

“Ok Kelly we’re keeping a close eye on the baby right now but the bleeding is a concern.” This piqued mine and Rafael’s concern as he ended the call with his mother and replaced the nurse who was at my side gripping my hand. “We believe your placenta is obstructing your cervix so every time you have a contraction its squeezing the placenta which is making you bleed. Now, right now everything’s ok with both you and the baby but if the bleeding doesn’t stop within the next half hour we’re looking at a C-section.”

“Surgery?” I whispered in a small voice causing Rafael to grip my hand tighter. “But she’s early!”

“I know it wasn’t part of your birth plan” the doctor tried to soothe. “And yes she is early but only by a couple weeks. Her chances are very good.”

 I looked up at Rafael feeling tears prick my eyes. My husband studied my face, taking into consideration every doctor’s visit and every late night talk the two had every shared concerning their unborn daughter.

“A C-section would be the best option for the baby?” Rafael asked, a business like tone in his voice.

“At this point yes” Dr. Purdy nodded “I would prefer to wait the half hour just to see if things improve, right now things are stable, but I don’t want to wait too long and risk putting your wife and your baby in danger.”

Rafael nodded “I understand.”

The team of medical professionals left the room as I blinked up at Rafael clinging to his hand my eyes boring into his. Surgery wasn’t part of my plan at all. There were so many ifs, so many things that could go wrong! What if something went wrong and I bled out or worse what if something happened to the baby!

“I’m scared Rafi” I whimpered softly resting my head on the pillow tears wetting my eyelashes and blurring my vision. “I’m so scared. What if-”

“Shh” he cooed pushing my hair back softly with his free hand “I know you are, I’m scared too mi amor.”

“Wh-what if something happens to the baby?” I stuttered as my eyes flooded with more tears, causing them to pool down my face.

“You can’t think like that Kel” Rafael whispered pushing his forehead to mine and gently wiping my tears away “You know how we are damn good lawyers.” I smiled a soft, watery smile as I chuckled slightly causing Rafael to grin. “Yeah, you know what I mean. My wife stubborn as hell. In full blown labor yet still finishes her questioning.” Rafael grinned proudly “Well we have the damn good doctors for our baby. We have to trust them.”

“If she has your brains and snark do you realize how much trouble we’re gonna be in?” I chuckled wiping at my tears as my breathing began to even out. I placed my free hand over my bulging belly. A whimper fell past my lips as another contraction spiked through my body and I griped onto Rafi’s hand.

“She’s gonna be as gorgeous as her mother and I’m gonna have to make up bullshit charges on any boy that comes near her, have them spend time in the tombs.” Rafi smiled pressing his lips to my hand in an attempt to distract me from the pain.

“You’re gonna be such a good Papi” I smiled cupping his jaw. His lips pressed into a thin line and a flash of doubt and worry wavered through his green eyes. An internal battle had been waging inside Rafael since I broke the news to him I was expecting. Yes, he was thrilled at the thought of me carrying his child, however, he was weary of the thought of himself becoming a father. He didn’t have a good father figure to rely on growing up and was damned if he left the same impression on his own child.

The half hour seemed to pass by agonizingly slow and fast at the same time, during that time I had received an epidural to help with the contractions and was pleasently relieved from the pain despite feeling totally numb. My bleeding had not stopped and Dr. Purdy proceeded to book the OR. I giggled behind my hand as Rafael emerged from the adjoining bathroom in the hospital issued blue scrubs a far cry from his normal designer, tailored suits.

“Did they not have the Versace scrubs in stock?”

Rafi scowled playfully as he adjusted the stiff material across his midsection. He crossed the room and placed his precisely folded three piece suit into the hospital bag Sonny and Amanda had brought from home.  A sharp knock echoed through the room before a face appeared. Lucia’s wine colored lips spread into a smile as she entered the room carrying a steaming Styrofoam cup.

“How are you bebe?” she asked pressing a soft kiss to my cheek as she straightened the blankets of the bed in a motherly manner.

“I’m ok. Excited to finally meet this little girl.” I admitted caressing my stomach lovingly.

“You and me both.” She winked as she turned to Rafael and handed him the coffee. He thanked his mother with a kiss on the cheek before taking a large gulp.

“I’ll be a lot better when I can drink my coffee again” I pouted as I eyed Rafael’s cup. The smell of the freshly brewed Cuban coffee was torture. The moment I found out I was pregnant I gave up caffeine and anything else that could potentially harm or complicate the pregnancy. It had been a long few months without my beloved Iced caramel coffees with extra shots of espressos.

 “Rafi offered to quit with me until the baby was born but I’ve seen him go without caffeine for a few hours and that was bad enough I couldn’t imagine 9 months.” Rafael smirked at my comment before finishing the coffee and tossing the empty cup into the trash.

“Angelita, you give me my little princesa and I will buy that coffee for you by the gallons.” Lucia chuckled as she leaned over to give my hand an encouraging squeeze. The three of us continued to talk as the nurses ventured in and out preparing me for the procedure.

“Ya know Kelly” Lucia began from her seat beside the bed, the latest issue of People magazine in her lap. “Rafi in those scrubs reminds me of those boys in that show.. Oh! What do they call him? McDouble?”

I threw my head back in laughter “Do you mean McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy?”

“Yes!” Lucia exclaimed clapping her hands together “That’s who he looks like!”

“Well I don’t know about McDreamy” a voice interrupted as Dr.Purdy entered with a kind smile “But he is about to become a McDaddy.” She smiled before looking at me. “Are we ready?”

Suddenly, my stomach filled my nervous gitters before I nodded. Lucia jumped up and kissed my cheek whispering a short prayer into my hair before releasing me as she tried to wipe away the tears that were pooling in her eyes.

“I’ll wait for your parents in the lobby, huh?” she smiled at me. I thanked her before she turned to Rafi grasping his cheek and kissing the other, she whispered words to him that I couldn’t hear. Rafael lowered his gaze and nodded before kissing his mother’s cheek.

“Alright” Dr. Purdy clapped her hands with a gleaming smile “Let’s have a baby!”

Delivery was a whirlwind of anxiety and jumbled nerves, scrubs and sterile fields. As the curtain separated Rafael and I from where the procedure was taking place, I began to chew my bottom lip nervously, there was a reason I went into law instead of the medical field. Rafael grabbed my hand and began retelling the story of how we first met, a useful distraction to the medical conversation happening just beyond the sterile sheet. Chuckling Rafael, reiterated how annoyed he was with the DA for assigning me to him feeling he was paid to babysit instead of prosecute. Yet, overtime he began to appreciate the knowledge I possessed and better yet the full nights of sleep he began to acquire thanks to my help.

Thankfully, Rafael’s story took my mind back in time to those events, halfheartedly distracting me from the tugging and pressure I felt at my belly, a sensation that caused my throat to tighten in a gag as I imagined the doctors moving my organs around. I kept my eyes locked on Rafael’s green ones that peered over the surgical mask so lovingly at me.  Suddenly, I felt the pressure release and a strangled cry fill the room as Dr. Purdy held a plump, raven haired little girl over the sheet declaring she was indeed a girl. I felt tears prick my eyes as my daughter was quickly wiped clean and placed on my bare chest. Her wails softly ebbed away to tender whimpers as her skin came in contact with mine. Her soft hair tickled my jaw and cheek as her chubby hand made a clutching motion, her fingertips gently tracing my opposite cheek.

The local anesthetic had already made me emotional but at the sight of my daughter tears were rolling down my cheeks a smile on my quivering lips as I glanced up at Rafael as he pulled his mask down. His lips were in an awe struck slightly parted state and his green eyes were glossy, locked on his daughter. He slowly, cautiously came closer kneeling to be more level with us.

“We have a daughter” I chuckled choking on my tears as I looked up at my husband in almost a stunned voice “we have our little girl Rafi”

Rafi’s eyes met with mine as a single tear slipped down his cheek he pushed my hair back, pressing his lips to my forehead repeatedly as he so gently pressed a hand to our daughters small back who was still spurting out small whimpers as her eyes dodged here and there taking in all the excitement. Rafael’s  hand showing just how small she was in comparison, he soothingly rubbed his thumb across the length of her shoulder blades.

“Thank you, thank you so much mi amor” Rafi whispered into my hair choking back more tears.

After what seemed like eternity, we finally had our daughter out in the world with us. We finally saw that she had Rafael’s dark ebony locks with had a slight curl she inherited from me, her eyes were a startling light blue that mirrored mine, a petite button nose nestled round rosy cheeks and Rafael’s expressive mouth. Our Gabriella Lucia Barba, named after both her grandmothers.

It was early into the next morning, nearing 3 am. Lucia and my mother had left only a half hour earlier, my father unsurprisingly absent from this beautiful milestone much like many others in my life. Gabby slept soundly in the plastic crib beside me, the affection from her grandmothers having worn her out. Rafael stood just outside the door talking with Liv and Sonny, who had been thoughtful enough to bring by Rafi and I something to eat other than hospital food. Sonny especially excited to present our daughter with dozens of pink balloons and flowers. I smiled softly as I rested on the plush pillows behind me watching the beautiful little life I created breath soundly. I felt my heavy eyes flutter shut.

I groaned as I opened my eyes, the room was still dark except for the warm light the bed side lamp provided. Rafael sat beside the crib, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasping together under his chin as stared at Gabby in the crib. An old Harvard sweatshirt and jeans replacing the scrubs he once wore. Gabby softly began to whimper quickly becoming more upset. I stiffly sat up, my stomach burning at the exertion.

“You can pick her up Raf” I said softly as I attempted to get comfortable once more. Rafael jumped at my voice, his eyes jumping from me to squirming Gabby.

“I-uh”

“I know you haven’t held her yet.”

Rafael looked to the ground sheepishly. Having spent so much time with Rafael, both personally and professionally I could read some of his best poker faces. He was afraid that much was obvious. His foot twitched, as he bounced his knee. He stood toe to toe in court with some of the most vile, cruel beings to walk this planet without batting a lash yet, his body was jittered with nerves over a small 6 pound baby girl.

“I don’t want to hurt her” Rafi admitted softly. “She’s so small and..”

“You won’t hurt her Rafi” I reached into the crib and pulled Gabby to my chest soothing her before looking at my husband. “Now come here”

I moved to the far side of the bed allowing room for Rafi to squeeze in beside me. I assumed he would prefer holding Gabby on the bed than standing up. Rafael was stiff as I gently placed our daughter in his arms, helping him place his hands appropriately. Gabby squirmed in Rafi’s rigid arms, her face reddening and contorting in discontent as she began to wail, Rafael’s face turning pale at the reaction.

“Just relax” I whispered pressing soft kiss to his shoulder, his body relaxing slightly. “She can sense you’re uncomfortable. Talk to her.”

Rafael chuckled condescendingly “ I don’t even know what to say.”

“well that’s a first” I chuckled “you’ve been talking to her for the past nine months. You even practiced your testimonies and arguments with her in the womb!”

Rafael rolled his eyes playfully as he seemed to slowly relax. He began to rock her slightly, the movement calming the newborn. Gabby’s blue eyes studied her father intently as he moved to gently wipe the crocodile tears away from her cherub cheeks.

“You’re gonna give your papi a hard time with those eyes aren’t you?” he began, offering an awe struck smile at his daughter. “Yeah, I know you will. Your mami gives me that same look and she always wins me over.”

I felt my chest fill with warmth watching Rafael interact with Gabby, he was slowly emerging from his shell. Putting any doubts he had about his fathering skills to rest. Slowly, Rafi stood from the bed rocking Gabby gently in his arms as he began to pace the room. I felt my eyes start to become heavy again, probably from the pain medicine.

“Your papi can get you into Harvard with one phone call”  he whispered “Yeah, one of papi’s friends from law school is a Dean there, but you won’t need papi huh? You’ll be so smart. My little Gabriella will be a legacy! But you don’t have to go to law school mi princesa. You can be whatever you want to be. That’s right! You can be a lawyer or a doctor maybe a teacher like your abuelita, whatever your little heart desires….Papi will love you regardless”

I felt my eyes flutter shut, Rafael’s words painting a permanent smile on my face as his words lulled me to sleep.

“You’re my greatest gift mi princesa. I don’t deserve you or your mami. I love you both so much.”

                                          Gabby’s First Night Home

A groan passed my lips, my hand venturing out toward the opposite side of the bed in search of Rafael’s warm body to cuddle into. My hand met cool sheets causing me to pry my eyes open.  Rafael’s side of the bed was wrinkled but empty. I pushed myself up my hand bracing my incision. I glanced at the clock on the bedside.

4:23

‘He’s probably working in his office’ I thought.

My bare feet hit the chilly hardwood floor, sparking a shiver up my spine. I tied my robe around my waist and softly walked toward Gabby’s door to check on her. Her door was slightly ajar and I pushed it further open with my palm.  I was surprised to see a sleeping form on the futon across from Gabby’s crib. I tiptoed toward the center of the room. I peeked into the crib to see Gabby’s chest rising and falling steadily. Turning to my husband, I knelt down to his level. Rafael slept deeply, stretched out on his stomach, one arm hanging off the side of the futon that was across from Gabby’s crib. I smiled softly and caressed my fingers through his dark locks.

“Rafi” I whispered, continuing to run my fingers through his hair. He moaned softly leaning into my touch. He slowly opened his eyes to meet mine.

“Hm?” he groaned.

“Let’s go back to bed” I whispered.

Rafael groaned sitting upright running his hand over his face roughly.

“She alright?” he questioned nodding toward the crib as he fought a yawn.

I nodded “She’s fine.” I rubbed his arm softly “Let’s get you to bed”

Rafael stared past my shoulder toward the crib “She’ll be so far away..” He trailed off. “What if she needs us?”

“Rafi” I smiled “She’ll let us know. Have you forgotten she has a set of Barba lungs on her.” I chuckled softly “In the unlikeliness anything should happen, Sonny bought us that contraption that monitors her breathing and everything and besides we have the video monitor you can watch her on your phone in bed.”

Rafael’s eyebrows flew up, disappearing into his messy hair as he looked at me. “It can do that?”

I giggled and nodded. “We have to learn to sleep when she sleeps and your back needs memory foam not a futon especially since you sit hunched over a desk most of the time.”

“I know it’s just” he sighed heavily running his hands roughly over his face again “I can’t explain it”

I moved to sit beside him, wrapping my arms around his left bicep and intertwining our fingers, resting my cheek on his strong shoulder.

“You’re a daddy now” I whispered “You’re just worried about your little girl.”

“I worry about both my girls” he whispered pressing his lips to my hair.

“Well, since you’ve taken care of that little girl. Why don’t you come spend some time with this one?” I whispered softly biting at his neck playfully. Rafael cut his eyes over his shoulder at me smirking.

“I can repay you for all those massages you gave me…”

Between Rafael doubling his already stressful workload in order to have a less stressful time off with Gabby’s birth and my own work load intimacy of any kind had become difficult, even cuddling had become a burden finding it a hassle to find a comfortable position with a large watermelon in your stomach that liked to roundhouse kick your ribs at the slightest inconvenience. To say the least I strongly missed my husband’s affection.

I leaned forward pressing my lips to his. Rafi tilted his head deepening the kiss I moaned softly into his mouth as he pressed his left hand to my check, the coolness of his wedding band a stark contrast to my flushed cheeks.

“Mmm” Rafael sighed contently “Ok you’ve twisted my arm carino I’m coming.”

I smiled in triumph, standing up and approaching Gabby’s crib to check on her once again, she was still sleeping soundly completely undisturbed. I heard Rafael groan as he stood, stretching. I stood by the door and smirked shaking my head. Rafi had stalled, stopping to gaze over into Gabby’s crib his hands shoved in the pocket of his sleep pants, a far off dream-like look on his face.

Despite whatever he might think of himself as a papi, fatherhood looked good on Rafael.

                                                 Gabby - 3 Weeks Old

“And you have all of the numbers for the doctor? The pediatrician? Mami? Sonny, Liv? Carmen if you need me and I’m in court right? What about Ms. Christmann next door?” Rafeal rattled off as he stood cradling Gabby in his arms dressed in his suit as he prepared to go back to his first day back at work. He held her close, her bum resting on his forearm as he cradeled her head softly. A far more comfortable posture and position than when he has first held her, now that he was more comfortable he would barely put her down.

“Yes Rafi I have everything” I sighed exasperated as I prepared his thermos of coffee. I appreciated his concern yet he had gone over this list of phone numbers 4 times since waking up this morning not to mention the 6 other times last night as he formed an emergency plan in case one was needed. I was a little anxious staying home by myself with Gabby it was just comforting having someone else there to help especially when tending to a newborn was still a new, daunting task.

Rafael looked at me with a small smirk and a curved eye eyebrow. “What’s Carmen’s number?”

I dropped the spoon I had used to stir my own coffee allowing it to fall on the counter with a clank “I don’t have it memorized I have it written down. What the hell?”

Rafael chuckled kissing Gabby’s head. “Papi will come see his little princessa for lunch, would she like that, huh?”

“Momma will” I smiled walking around the counter to place Rafi’s full thermos next to his suitcase.

“Mmm” Rafael mumbled against my lips as I hugged myself to his side. “God I hate to leave.” He sighed looking down at Gabby and leaning his head against mine.

“Its only for a couple hours babe” I reasoned snuggling into his side inhaling his expensive designer cologne and the smell of coffee that always seemed to cling to his frame.

“I know but what will I miss in those couple hours?” Rafael argued, almost whining. Nuzzling his nose into Gabby’s dark hair and peppering her soft skin with kisses.

“Mmm a few dirty diapers, four or five naps, maybe a bath depending on much milk she decides to wear instead of eat” I giggled stroking Gabby’s round cheek.

“Much more entertaining than going over case files” Rafael smiled.

“Rafi if you don’t leave you’re gonna be late mi amor” I spoke softly, hating to break this intimate moment.

“I know, I know” Rafael sighed in aggravation before almost cringing. “Do it quick, like a band aid.”

Swiftly, Rafi placed Gabby in my arms and slipped his arms through his coat, grabbing his briefcase and coffee. The small girl seemed disgruntled before realizing the swap and becoming fussy. Rafael looked torn and utterly heartbroken as Gabby began to twist and turn in my arms whines and cries falling from her lips.

Raf came forward cradling my head and pressing his lips to mine before kissing Gabby on the head.

“Ill text when I get to the office.” He said still looking torn and helpless “I love you and I love you my princessa”

“love you too daddy” I winked as he blew one last kiss and left for the day and I focused my attention to my spoiled daddy’s girl.

The day had gone by smoothly. I was able to catch up on a lot of the housework and laundry as well as finishing the last of the thank you cards from Gabby’s shower. Rafael came by and had a quick lunch before being called in for a case by Liv. I was able to spend the afternoon playing with Gabby before she decided it was time to nap a notion I agreed upon. After a restful sleep I began to prepare dinner and for Rafael to arrive home.

I had fajitas cooking on the stove while Gabby slept in her bouncer that I had positioned on the counter so I could keep an eye on her.  The jingle of keys and the door closing made me smile as I lowered the heat on the chicken and veggies.

“Are we ready to see Daddy?” I smiled unbuckling Gabby and placing her to my chest. I walked to the front hall and frowned when I saw it empty. I turned to his office and found him already hunched over scribbling over an open case file.

“Dinner will be ready in five” I said softly walking into the room that was lined with numerous volumes of law books. A few phots of our relationship lined Rafi’s desk. As I rounded the corner Rafael still hadn’t answered.

“Rafi” I said softly, touching a hand to his shoulder.

Rafael jerked in my direction. “Sorry carino Im gonna be busy tonight”  he sighed waving to his desk.

“Oh ok” I said solemnly. “Do you need anything?”

“No gracias carino”  he didn’t even look up from his papers.

I sighed closing his office door before turning back to the kitchen. I quietly ate and fed Gabby before cleaning her up and preparing her for bed. With still no sign of Rafael I curled up on the couch with a book that I had been using as a distraction from hard cases while I was pregnant.  After rereading the same sentence thrice I slammed the book shut and rubbed at my eyes angrily.

I had been disappointed in Rafael’s first day back at work. Since we met, he has always been work focused and at the time so was I. But now with Gabby, I had hoped he would carve out time for her once he got home, not hide in his office when she had only seen him for a fleeting moment that morning and her time with him was cut short at lunch. I stood up and walked to his office.

The anger that had bubbled inside began to fizzle away as I took in his appearance. In the short hours since I left him, Rafael had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and his hair was a disshevled mess worry lines etched deep into his tan skin.

I kneeled beside him placing my hand on his knee.

“Rafi” I said softly “what’s going on?”

He sighed heavily throwing his pen down on the stacks of papers and files and leaning back, roughly scrubbing his face with his hands.

“This damn case” he hissed. “Sex trafficking with the usual side charges of rape, sexual assault, kidnapping the list goes on..” he took a deep breath. “The pictures..” he shook his head and I noticed his green orbs were red and glassy “every time I saw one of those kids.” He choked on his words “I saw Gabriella.”

I felt my heartbreak as I watched the few tears slip past Rafi’s dark lashes, he quickly wiped them away.

“Its crazy, huh?” he sniffed wiping at his eyes “Before I could handle these cases and now I’m a blubbering mess.”

“Rafeal” I cooed softly standing to my feet, I pushed his chair away from the desk and straddled his lap hugging him close, his arms wrapped around my torso resting low on my back as he rested he cheek on my chest. I carded my fingers through is hair allowing my nails to lightly scratch his scalp.

“It makes me want to work even harder” he chocked “for her and for you. I want to keep you two safe.”

“Mi amor”  I whispered running my fingers through his hair “You know I appreciate everything you do for me and now for our family and Gabby, she knows her Papi will take care of her.” I kissed under his ear and felt him shiver beneath my fingertips.  “I think your fatherly side will only make you an even better lawyer, make you want to fight even harder. Just…” I bit my lip debating if I should continue with my sentence.

“Just what carino?” Rafael implored.

I locked my eyes with his “Just promise me you won’t lose yourself to your work. Yes, these cases require a lot of you but don’t let it take all of you. Gabby deserves that much.”

Rafael nodded a look on his face that implied he was lost in thought. I pressed my lips to his softly desperate to break him out of the dark places of his mind, the dark places were bad cases were locked away in. Rafael responded pulling me closer, relaxing back into his seat as he cradled my cheek swiping his tongue over my lips.

Suddenly, a high pitched crying was heard and we pulled apart. I rested my forehead on Rafi’s and breathed out heavily amused.

“That would be your daughter sensing someone is getting your love and affection besides her.” I giggled.

Rafael smiled, a true genuine smile. “Well I best not leave my princesa waiting.”

He stood and began walking to the door of his office while I took a seat back down in his chair and began looking over the case file and Rafi’s notes. Moments later Rafi appeared back at the office door cradeling Gabby, a look of pure joy on his face as he softly bounced the little girl. His eyebrows knitted together as he looked at me.

“What are you doing carino?”

I smiled up at him. Seeing him with our daughter was a sigt I would never get tired of.

“I figured I would be nice and have a second set of eyes look over this stuff for you so you can spend some more time with Gabby.”

“Kel you don’t have to do that”

I shrugged “I want to.”

Rafael smirked “What would I do without you carino?”

[thesocraticstare]

Happy Friendsgiving, my sweet dudes! I come bearing gifts... of literary erotica! I’m hoping to clean this up a little and post it to AO3, maybe sometime over the weekend when I’m not surrounded by family and leftover turkey. This might be very similar to everything I’ve posted in this fandom thus far, but as long as I’m just fulfilling my own dark desires (and also maybe giving @joycecarolnotes a nice holiday treat), I’ll try not to worry about that too much. So, with that said...

Doctor’s Orders (Jared/Richard, Rated E, Anal Fingering and also Feelings)

If he had to pinpoint the moment when it all changed, Richard would have to say it started with Erlich’s failed app launch. If he were honest with himself, he might admit things had been shifting in his subconscious for some time now. Maybe his furtive glances had lengthened, his porn browsing habit increased. But it was definitely MoonRub that brought him and Jared decisively together.

It was otherwise an ordinary Thursday. Richard was taking a break from coding to catch up on reading TechCrunch. Dinesh and Gilfoyle were arguing about Overwatch in the other room. The front door slammed, and Erlich stormed in, brandishing a vape pen.

“Those fools!” he thundered. “Has the gift of true vision abandoned all men in this benighted city?”

Richard raised his eyebrows, but otherwise just waited for Erlich to continue his tirade.

“So much pain and suffering in this world, and yet no one--no one!--is willing to take a step to help their fellow man. Well, fuck them, I say!” He stabbed his vape pen in the air for emphasis, then took an angry puff.

“You’re sounding awfully humanitarian,” Richard noted mildly.

“Well might I!” Erlich rejoined. “MoonRub could’ve really made a difference in this world of iniquity and perfidy. Really helped people, you know? People who aren’t lucky enough to have a source for ample quantities of the good herb. People who maybe need a massage oil or body butter enhanced--” he exhaled another cloud of vapor--“with the most potent marijuana strains known to Cali growers, and they need it on demand, via a convenient app. This is where MoonRub steps in.”

“You were developing another app? Without, like, telling me?” Richard couldn’t help the wounded note in his voice, but he was soundly ignored.

“Richard, Richard. It's important for a man of my status to keep himself engaged. I need to keep my hand in the game. Keep one eye on currents in the tech world. Keep--”

“Okay, I get it,” Richard muttered. “But what happened?”

“Well. It turns out the legal barriers to selling highly-potent holistic bodycare nationwide are still, sadly, insurmountable by even the most well-planned homegrow startup. Evading the authorities, however, is but one of the skills in my arsenal. At this point, I’m just terribly disappointed for our customers--”

“Hypothetical customers, maybe,” Richard said under his breath. Erlich ignored him.

“--Our customers, now sadly unable to receive these high-quality herbal marijuana lotions, potions, and salves.”

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” Jared's level voice broke in from the direction of the kitchen. Richard and Erlich both turned to see him standing in the doorway, a small bag under his arm.

“I couldn’t help but overhear part of your conversation. Sorry for eavesdropping! But I just came back from my doctor’s office, and the description of the need for your product line--apologies on the stymied app potential!--is surprisingly close to my own experience. You know, I’ve sometimes wondered if my… issues might be alleviated by--”

“Oh god,” Erlich said, exhaling a puff of vapor. “If you’re starting on your medical history, please pardon me. I’m not exactly in the mood for a tragic epic.” He exited for his own quarters, trailing an aromatic cloud behind him. Gilfoyle and Dinesh, who had barely paused their argument to listen to Erlich’s app woes, exchanged a quick glance, then followed suit. Richard just caught Gilfoyle muttering something about “leftover product samples” before they were out of earshot.

Richard, still a little stung by Erlich’s unspoken side-ventures, was more inclined to hear Jared out. He gestured vaguely to the little bag. “So what’ve you got?”

Jared smiled and took his usual seat. “Well, as you know, I’m trying to save a bit more money, cut back on my visits to the butthole doctor.” Richard tried not to visibly flush, but it was difficult. “Anyway, my general practitioner suggested I try this!” Richard forced himself not to jerk away in anxiety when Jared opened the bag, but what he pulled out was just a small blue glass jar.

“What is it?”

“It’s a topical cannabinoid ointment! It was described to me as a salve that provides unsurpassed relief for menstrual cramps. But I have high hopes it’ll work on other areas just as well.”

“Oh… kay,” Richard said. His heart had started speeding up the moment Jared uttered the word “butthole.” Something about Jared’s weird innocence, paired with his obvious endurance of equally weirdly-sexualized hardship, stirred a dark urge within him. “So you just like… I mean, it’s for, like… external use?”

“Putting it on might pose a bit of a challenge! Fortunately, I’ve been working on my yoga poses recently. I find Halasana really helps increase flexibility in the hips.”

“Wait,” Richard broke in without thinking. “You mean you’re--going to--” he made an abortive gesture towards his own backside, then blushed. “Alone?”

“Well!” Jared looked surprised, then laughed lightly. “I’m currently single--” Richard’s blush deepened, and he coughed, embarrassed. “And I wouldn’t expect any of the guys to lend a helping hand. It’s a little intimate, after all!” Jared’s expression softened into concern. “Richard. I can’t tell you… it means a great deal to me, just to talk to you about this. These… health issues… are something I don’t usually go into. Even with friends.” He leaned in further to Richard’s side.

Richard swallowed convulsively a few times. “I’m uh. I’m--uh. I don’t think. That you should have to--you know. S-suffer alone. If you’re.” He looked up at Jared imploringly, but Jared just looked confused, and like he was waiting for Richard to continue. “I’m--I’d--I’ll help. I’ll help you. If you, um. If you want.”

“Richard,” Jared breathed. “Do you know what you’re saying?” Richard’s blush deepened; he felt sweat starting to bead at his hairline, on the back of his neck.

“I think… I wanna help. I mean it. I mean--I don’t want to overstep--you know, your like--your boundaries or whatever--”

“No!” Jared’s hand came up to his own throat. “Oh, Richard. I’d--I’d be very happy for you to… help me. As long as you’re sure. As long as it’s not too much to ask--”

“Just tell me when.” Richard felt like his fate was sealed. His heart was beating double-time. “And I’ll, um. Be there. For you.”

___

Richard’s heart still hadn’t settled down by that evening. He had spent the better part of the afternoon pacing in his bedroom, alternately trying to talk himself out of… whatever he had agreed to, and trying to convince himself there was nothing strange about going through with it. Just two guys, he told himself. Just two guys, who are friends, one of whom is giving the other a hand. With his medical issues. His medical… ass issues. Jesus.

His head was still spinning, but he knocked diffidently on the server room/garage/Jared’s bedroom door at 10 pm, the time they had settled on. “Jared?” he called.

“Come in,” the muffled voice on the other side of the door answered. “I’m just getting ready.” Richard took another deep breath, pushed open the door.

Jared was lying on his side, hips canted slightly, one knee bent up. Richard swallowed hard. He hadn’t--somehow, despite his mental preparations, he hadn’t thought he would be so affected. But the tender vulnerability of Jared’s posture made his mouth go dry with anxiety, with the immediate and familiar terror that he would be inadequate, unable to fulfill this simple, weird thing he had been asked to do.

Jared looked up at him over his sharp shoulder. Richard burned to put his lips against the high point of it, kiss all the way down his collarbone. His expression shifted slightly. Are you sure, he seemed to be saying. Richard knew Jared would never hold it against him if he turned tail and fled, would forgive him almost no matter what he did. His pulse pounded dully in his ears, knowing how unworthy he was of that preemptive forgiveness, of Jared’s habitual gentleness.

“The ointment is on my bedside table,” Jared said, and Richard started. Steeled himself. Took one step closer, then another.

He knelt on the very edge of Jared’s bed. There would barely be room for both of them if Jared weren’t so slender, if he weren’t accommodating himself so clearly to Richard’s presence and needs. Jared’s eyes were still on his face, watching him, he thought, for any sign of uncertainty. He made no motion to move, so Richard took another breath, reached over his body to the little bedside table.

“Whoopi & Maya’s Medical Cannabis Rub,” he read, half-under his breath. “Is this… I guess this is it.” He almost dropped the little jar, but managed to recover, scooted back to the far corner of Jared’s narrow bed. “Um,” he started, immediately running out of steam. “Are you… I mean. Maybe I--uh. I’ll just--”

“Richard,” Jared said gently. “You know you don’t have to do this. You’ve already done so much, just by listening to me. Being there for me. This is really--so much. You don’t know how much it means, just to have you offer.”

Richard’s face flushed with a species of shame. “No--Jared. Listen. I meant it. You shouldn’t--I’m just--I really meant it. What I said. I’m… I’m here for you.” He unscrewed the cap on the jar of salve, fingers trembling just slightly. Jared sighed softly, his eyes fluttering shut then flickering back to fix on Richard’s. Without breaking eye contact, wordlessly, Jared reached down and slowly slid his briefs down over his ass.

Okay, Richard thought. I can do this. I’m doing this. I’m doing this… for him. He felt his throat start to seize up, gulped as quietly as he could manage. Reached out, his hand hesitating over the pale curve of Jared’s tiny ass. Jared sucked in a breath, and Richard had to pause, sternly told his dick to calm the fuck down, and let his palm finally come to rest, twitching slightly, on Jared’s upthrust hipbone.

Jared huffed out a little breath. “Just scoop out a little of the ointment,” he said. “You might want to warm it up a little bit between your hands. Then--if you’re sure you don’t mind--you can just. Rub it in.”

Richard nodded, looked down at his own hand on Jared’s hip, nodded again. He dipped his fingers into the jar. The salve inside was silky-smooth, faintly scented of weed and apricot. He rubbed a little bit between his forefinger and thumb, then slowly, hesitantly, reached down to his ass.

“Oh… oh, that’s good…” Jared’s voice brought Richard back to himself. He shivered, tried to focus. Tried not to picture what it would be like to slip his dick in, maybe even just the tip, just feel Jared from the inside--

“Oh,” Jared murmured again, then bent his leg up a little more, spreading himself a bit more, opening for Richard’s touch. Fuck, so hot, he thought, unable to stop himself.

He rubbed over Jared’s hole with the tips of two fingers, emboldened by Jared’s little sounds of pleasure, then up the cleft of his ass all the way to his tailbone. Jared looked back at him again over his shoulder; his eyes were half-lidded, mouth a little open. Richard thought he might never jerk off to any other fantasy again. “You like that,” he whispered. Not a question, not even something he had meant to say. But Jared nodded, lips still parted. Richard wondered how best to adjust his hard-on without drawing too much attention to himself.

He dipped his fingers back into the little jar of salve, scooped out more than enough. Rubbed a circle around Jared’s hole, watching the salve melt upon contact with the hot skin, the tight muscle fluttering under his fingertips, almost like it was inviting him inside. Begging him, almost.

The blood-warm, melted salve trickled down Jared’s perineum, dripped over his smooth balls, onto his inner thigh. Richard wanted to follow its path with his tongue. He wondered, distantly, if he was getting a contact high--but really he knew he was getting high off of doing this for Jared, off of feeling his responsive moans, touching his hot skin. He thought he should maybe ask Jared what the medically-recommended dosage was, whether he should stop: but he was selfishly hoarding every moment of this contact, unwilling to end it.

“Oh--Richard--I’m--” Jared gasped suddenly. Richard’s fingers came to a stuttering halt. He leaned in over Jared’s shoulder.

“Am I hurting you?” he managed to ask.

“No--” Jared said. His face was half-hidden in the thin pillow. “It’s--Richard, it’s so good. What you’re doing. It feels so good--you should--” He raised his face from the pillow and Richard jerked back a little. Jared’s eyes were wet with tears.

“You should stop. You shouldn’t--feel that you have to continue. I’m…” Jared stopped, closed his eyes, clearly trying to master himself. Richard leaned back in, his slick fingers drifting up the curve of Jared’s tiny ass. Jared moaned again, eyes still closed. A tear escaped, sliding down his flushed cheek, and Richard, without stopping to think, brushed it away with the thumb of his clean hand.

“I wanna make you feel good,” he whispered hoarsely. He knew it was deeply selfish--that he should heed Jared’s wishes--but he didn’t want to, maybe couldn’t stop himself. “I wanna keep going. You feel…” His slick hand slipped back down, fingers pressing against Jared’s asshole. “You feel so fucking good. I wanna help you.”

“Oh--Richard--” Before either of them could speak again, Richard started caressing the little muscle again, feeling it pucker and release against the pads of his fingers. Jared moaned again, helplessly. His hips rocked back against the gentle, insistent pressure. “Mmm--I’m--”

Richard’s erection was uncomfortably confined in his jeans, but he couldn’t make himself move to readjust. Jared’s right leg, crooked up to give Richard better access, partially shielded his own hard-on from view, but the heat coming off of him, the energy, was enough to drive Richard out of his mind, whatever was left of it. He kept circling his fingers, stroking Jared slowly, insistently, up and down and then around; then, stealing a look at Jared’s face, he pressed inside, as slowly and gently as he could manage.

Jared made a sound that Richard had never heard before, in his variously-disappointing encounters with women. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and his dick, already painfully hard in his jeans, didn’t fail to take notice.

“Oh, Richard! Oh--”

“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” Richard said, half-desperate. “Tell me if this is--if you want me to stop--”

“Mmm--oh--it’s so--”

Only the very tips of his fingers were inside, but the heat and the pressure, the satin-smoothness, were driving him insane. “Oh fuck,” Richard heard himself say, as if from outside himself. He had no idea what he was doing, really; not just in the sense of what he was doing in Jared’s bed, but even the basics of fingering someone’s asshole, what to do to make it pleasurable. He had never done anal with a girl before. He had never, despite some uncomfortably pertinent urges, fucked a guy before. He withdrew his fingers, as gently as he could, watching in awe as the little muscle twitched itself back closed.

Jared was looking at him again, his lips parted again. He looked… debauched. Richard petted him a little awkwardly on his pale flank, and he shivered all over.

“Are you feeling it?” Richard asked in a whisper. He meant the weed extract, or pure THC, or whatever in this salve was supposed to be making it medicinal and not just expensive celebrity lube. Jared’s lashed dipped in a slow flutter; he licked his lips. Richard’s neglected dick twitched in his jeans.

“I feel you,” he said. Richard almost groaned out loud. He reached up, grabbed the jar, scooped out another dollop of salve. Reached down, let it drip onto Jared’s ass. The head of Jared’s dick (cut, rosy pink) bobbed, just seen over the line of his long thigh. Richard’s mouth filled with saliva; he had to swallow before he could speak again.

“Can I, um. Can I touch you here, too?” His hand hovered over Jared’s thigh, unwilling to do anything Jared didn’t want, anything that might break the spell enwrapping them both. But then Jared’s hand came down on his, pressed it against his hard-on, and they both moaned.

Richard felt entranced, just watching himself and Jared moving together: the fingers of one hand rubbing steadily over his hole, sliding slickly through the cleft of his ass; his other hand wrapped around Jared’s dick, stroking him there, trying to keep his rhythm steady; and all the while Jared’s hips rolling against the dual pressure, his hands fisted in the sheets; his cries, half-muffled in the pillow, a rising chant of “Ahh--ahh--ahh,” gaining in intensity.

“Oh, Richard! Oh--don’t stop--” He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, Richard thought. This was--beyond what he might have imagined, anything he might have once found erotic.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he blurted. “Your fucking--your fucking goddamn butthole feels so good.”

Jared gasped, then jerked back against Richard’s hands, his caressing fingers. His back arched, all his muscles tensing; a long, ragged cry was torn from his throat, and a moment later Richard’s hand was thoroughly, irrefutably wet with another man’s come.

Just two guys, Richard thought, dazed, Jared still panting, gasping under his hands. Just two friends. Just helping each other.

[briemudzinski]

Unexpected

Frank

           When I looked into his case I was an intern at the NYT’s I was there to hand out paper work at meetings, and collect coffee orders. I wasn’t allowed into press conferences or allowed to voice my opinion, the newspaper was constantly face passed and always moving so I stayed on the side and absorbed everything I could. I had just graduated that May and had landed an internship anyone would have dreamed of, however when signing up I did believe it would have been a little bit different. However, I knew one day I wouldn’t just be delivering caramel mochas, and hot espresso shots. I would get my chance to voice my opinion, however who would have guessed I would find my voice on one of the deadliest cases to ever hit New York city. It was mid November 2017, and just about everyone had heard of “the punisher”, a cold stoned killer ravaging his way through New York city, no eyes on him, not a trace of him, just bodies to follow his name. For all we knew the punisher was a woman. The only thing that had been stated about this killer was that he or she didn’t kill for sport, all of these murders had been of people accused of something; murder, man slaughter, stealing, rape, underground mafia. Every kill had an explanation, so were these kills worth it maybe so. Maybe this so-called punisher was a good guy but that was only seen by so many people. Labeled as a terrorist and constantly wanted on every news screen, people were warned not to walk out late at night, not to peruse New York city in the dark however being a true new Yorker myself everyone knows in the city that never sleeps you don’t really get a choice in the matter.

So, leaving my internship to head back to my apartment one late night of sorting through paperwork and filling away old stories, had me kept up late in the office. I left at around 6:30, so it was pitch black out with only the slight ora of a street lamp to guide my way home. I lived in hell’s kitchen, it was close enough to the main areas of the city where I could always find something to do but far away enough where I could get some space. My internship payed me very well, as well as having my trust fund from my grandparents, I was able to live on my own with out so much of a worry other than walking home alone at night. I walked with a usual fast pace, keeping to myself with my headphones in walking to the beat of the music. I was bundled up with my leggings, pea coat, scarf and gloves however the wind was a bitter hold this night that had my exposed skin burning. The air smelled of winter it was crisp and cold which was comforting because it usually smelled of hot cement and perspiration. I was about 10 minutes away from home following a few short cuts down an alley to cut my time in half, I usually never take this way but I thought with this late night it would be in my best interest to get home as soon as I could however in doing this soon I soon realized I should have taken my regular route home. The alley had smelt of garbage and old beer, I kept my head down and watched my footing, this alley was notorious to hold a few homeless men, but they were usually asleep when I would walk though, dropping change every now and then. At the end of the alley were a few men gathered around a fire in one of the old garbage bins, trying to keep warm they huddled together. I saw a few of them swaying back and forth and could hear their laughter through my headphones. I don’t know what it was that made my stomach turn, it might have been the sight of them or maybe the smell of them liquor excreted from there pores and wafted into my face, but I did everything I could to walk by them as quickly as possible without drawing to much attention to myself. I pushed myself to the right grazing the brick wall to keep myself as far away as possible. Out of sight and out of mind however I was in their sight and officially planted into there minds. I heard a few cat calling whistles as I walked past, I smiled trying to be polite but had refused to pay them any mind. However, they took more offense to that, with a abrupt stop I halted myself to stop from running into the tallest mans chest, he made his way to stand in front of me blocking my way of getting to the end of the alley. I took a few steps back and ended up bumping into the larger male with a strong chest. There breathe smelled of bitter tequila and bad breath. The third man stood a few feet behind to watch. “Please excuse me gentleman” I said to them as I kept my head down and tried to move to the side and out of the way. However, the tall gentleman in front had other ideas. “Come on sweetness why don’t you stay a while we don’t bite,” the men behind me laughed at his comment. Once again, I smiled but tried to move out of his way, “please I would like to go home its getting late.” I could feel the gentleman behind me drawing closer to my body, I could feel him trying to smell me, I shiver ran down my spine. I had no idea how I was going to get out of this, what I should do. Scream? Run? All three of them would over power me, but maybe in the state they were in I would be able to outrun them and reach a public area. I was a fool for coming down this alley, I wanted to cry for being such an imbusil but I knew at this moment I had to stay strong. The man behind me walking closer as well as the taller one in front of me drawing closer I wasn’t sure which way I should turn. “What are we not good enough for you?” the man asked with an irritaeted tone “no please”. I whimpered stepping away, “I think we can show you how good we actually are for you, cant we boys?” the leader of the group clearly stood out and was the main one asking all the questions. The boys had agreed with laughter and had, had enough of me not complying as they drew closer. Without any other choice I pushed the taller man in front of me with all the power I had in me, and watched with a shocked expression as he toppled over and hit his head hard against the frozen cement, and with that I had taken my opportunity to run. I ran with all of my might trying to reach the end of the alley, I knew at this point I was already crying but I kept running I knew I was about to make it until I felt a firm grip on my hair wrench me back. It hurt terribly as I was flung against a wall my head taking the brunt of the hit, I let out a high-pitched scream as my head cracked against the brick wall I was dizzy but didn’t pass out. As I slid down the wall I felt a body crawl on top of me, with panic in my heart I started to scream and cry. Hitting with all of my might I felt completely weak underneath this man, he was heavy and sweating even in the cold weather, he smelt of garbage and liquor. I felt him panting on top of me swearing and muttering to himself as the two others behind him coaxed him on. He reached for his belt and that’s what drew me into fight or flight, I tried to buck him off of me, I screamed and spit in his face scratching at his skin. With a hard smack across my face that I knew would bruise, I hoped he would hit me again harder maybe it would knock me out, maybe I wouldn’t feel anything. I tried to regain my strength a little bit more screaming for anyone to help me. I closed my eyes trying to will myself to pass out maybe it would go by fast maybe I wouldn’t feel anything. I quietly whimpered to myself as I felt his greedy hands tear at my clothes, and then I heard something behind him but didn’t dare to open my eyes. With gruphs and yelling going on behind him I heard yells and cracks, something that sounded branches breaking in a harsh storm, like rocks hitting against one another, I heard a few loud yells and then nothing. The man still laid on top of me before he was gone in seconds. The weight lifted off of my body instantaneously, it felt like a dream like he wasn’t even there. I prayed to myself, something I rarely do not being a religious person, but at this moment I needed anyone to talk to. I curled myself up against the wall as I heard more yells a few feet away continuous smashing sounds and cracking’s, whatever it was didn’t sound good in the slightest but I was grateful for whatever it was. I stayed in my ball against the wall the cold cement underneath me causing me to shacking uncontrollably. I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly I felt my eyelids start to cramp but I was too scared to open them. I felt a hand gently wrap itself around my leg however I delt no other choice but to try and scream and pull away again. However, with the hand tightening around me this person spoke to me and he don’t sound like the other men. “Shh shh darling it’s okay, your okay” “Please, please, don’t hurt me” I begged the mysterious man as I tried to crawl away. “No, no, I’m not here to hurt yuh. I took care of it don’t you worry yourself.” “Did they hurt you? Did any of them touch you?” his voice was deep with a certain rasp to it and heavily New Yorker. He sounded concerned, was he the one who had stopped this from going any further. I didn’t know how to answer him. I finally opened my eyes to look around, my vision was blurred and everything was spinning. I took a look at myself covered in dirt and muck some of my clothes ripped, I tried to pull myself together and cover my exposed skin to the stranger who I assumed saved my life. I finally looked up at him, covered head to toe in black and face barely visible through facial hair and covered in a hoodie. His eyes were a deep brown, almost black his face slightly bruised almost as if he was healing from a past confrontation. I tried to answer him, but I couldn’t find the words to speak or the will to move I was losing my breathe everything that had just happened all coming back to me running through my head I felt as if I was going to pass out. I tried to stand up but only found that my legs had gone numb from the cold causing me to fall over, with a firm grasp on me the man has managed to move from my leg to hosting me up on my own two feet. He stood a full foot taller than me, as I looked up at him through my lashes, moving up to fast I got dizzy once again leaning back getting ready to hit the brick wall again. “Hey, hey, hey, you’re alright. You gotta stay with me you hit your head pretty hard.” I heard him say to me with his deep brooding voice which seemed intimidating however at this moment it soothed me. I did try, I tried to keep my eyes open to stare at my savior however the more I tried to keep my eyes open the more the world seemed to spin around me. Within the matter of seconds I felt myself lifted from the ground and wrapped in this stranger’s arms, close to his chest he was warm and full his arms feeling like the closest thing to home at this moment, his scent was warm a mix of mint and vanilla. I didn’t know if I had a concussion but right now all I wanted to do was shut my eyes and forget everything, and so I did.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

With All Your Heart - Part 3

"Jesus Y/N where is your head at today?" Nat scolded you as she knocked you on my ass for the 100th time in the past hour.

"In the gutter Nat where else" you smirk at her, it wasn't a lie! All you kept thinking about was Bucky!! How nice it was waking up in his arms.... how you wanted more!

"We need to get you laid girl!" Nat laughed holding her hand out to help you up off the floor.

"I know right!" You admitted whilst grabbing your towel from the side and wiping the sweat from your brow "I've got all this pent up energy i need to get out of my system.... even being in here aint helping! Especially when we've got half naked super soldiers standing across from us" you nod in the direction of where Steve and Bucky were working out in just a pair of shorts, both doing weights and making the most sexual grunting noises you have ever heard in a gym!!

"Is it just me or are those grunting noises...."

"Sounding very sexual??" She finished and nodded her head "its not just you"

"Oh thank god" you laughed and caught the attention of the two grunting soldiers.

"You ladies okay?" Steve called over sitting up on the bench.

"Peachy Cap" you called back while turning your back to them to hide your laughing.

"You sure?? You seem to find something quite amusing"

"Its nothing Steve, just girl talk" Nat winked at him as you both walked over to the treadmills.

"Well if you need anything we'd be happy to assist you" he said politely and Nat and you both burst out laughing before starting a quick paced jog on the treadmills.

"What??" You hear Steve ask as he walked over to us, he wanted to know what was going on now. Bucky was looking over curious to what we were talking about.

"The kinda help she needs is a little outta your job description Steve"

"Natasha!!" You snap shaking your head at her, the woman had no filter sometimes.

"Oh.... oh you mean...."

"Sex Steven, you can say it. Its not a bad word" Nat said teasing him at how uncomfortable he looked.

"Nat leave him alone" you say hitting the stop button and slowly coming to a stop.

"Steve can you help me stretch, if i don't do it properly I'm gonna cramp like a bitch later"

"S..sure" he nodded quickly with a smile and walked over to the mats. He led you through some basic stretches, then he was kneeling between your legs pushing one back towards your chest a little further than you could manage on my own. It felt so good you let out a quiet moan and instantly felt your cheeks flush red "you okay?" Steve asked looking concerned, you nod quickly and laughed nervously "yeah I'm fine, that just felt really good"

"Oh my god get a room you two" Nat laughed as she walked passed.

"Nat i swear to god I'm gonna kick your ass you keep on" you called after your best friend.

"You don't stand a chance while that mind of yours is in the gutter Stark!"

"Shes right" you huff throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically.

"That we should get a room??" Steve asked wide eyed making you laugh.

"No, about me not standing a chance while my mind is in the gutter" you sat up and tapped him on the arm "don't worry cap i wont corrupt you".

"Maybe id corrupt you" he shrugged casually "how would you know??"

"Fair point" you smirked getting to your feet "id be too much for you to handle though Cap" you say patting his chest and walking out.

"See ya later Buck" you smile sweetly at him as you passed.

"What the hell was that about??" Bucky asked Steve once they were alone, Steve shook his head looking just as confused as Bucky.

"I have no idea!!"

"Was you coming onto her??"

"I.... i don't think so"

"Well do you like her?"

"Of course i like her"

"You know what i mean!"

"I don't know Buck, i think i just got caught in the moment" he shrugged then looked at his best friend with wide eyes "wait... do YOU like her??"

"W..what.... no of course not" he said quickly but the red blush that crossed his face said he did.

"Bucky you can tell me pal, I'm not going to judge you. It will stay between us i promise" Steve said to his friend, now he thought about it he couldn't believe he didn't see it sooner.

"So what if i do like her Steve?? Y/N will never see me like that" he said sadly.

"How do you know that?? You haven't even given her a chance"

"Come on man if shes into anyone its you! She's always so open and flirty with you. Don't think i haven't noticed the way shes so comfortable around you, the touches between you"

"Maybe shes trying to see if she gets a reaction from you when shes close with me. You were always so stand offish with her.... she didn't think you liked her pal"

"She makes me nervous okay!" Bucky suddenly snapped "i don't know how to act around her! And then she was always sitting there talking about all these terrible dates she was going on.... i couldn't stay and listen to her talk about being with other guys, so id just leave the room"

"Well then maybe you should ask to take her out yourself??" Steve smirked.

"She'd never say yes to me Steve" Bucky said dropping his head sadly.

"Well you better make your move pal, that girl is needing some attention and she'll go on more of those ridiculous dates to get it" he slapped Bucky on the back and went to go take a shower.

***

After the show put on by the super soldiers in the gym and having Steve between your legs while stretching you were super horny! On the way back to your rooms Nat had suggested a girls night which you instantly agreed to. Now you were in the shower with your vibrator trying to relieve some of the sexual tension you were experiencing before going out. Your breathing was heavy as you felt yourself start to clench tighter.... your mind replaying the images of a shirtless Bucky and those amazing grunting noises he had been making. It was enough to send you over the edge and let out a loud moan as your free hand grabbed hold of the wall to steady your wobbly legs.

"Fucking hell" you sighed closing your eyes and trying to catch your breath, this was getting ridiculous! It was then you heard a knocking at your door "just a second" you call out quickly turning off the shower and grabbing a towel, you wrap it around yourself and make your way through your room to open the door.

"Oh.... S..sorry!" Bucky stuttered looking away from you when he saw you in just a towel.

"Its okay Buck" you say smiling up at him "whats up?"

"I just... i thought we could talk"

"Id love that, really i would but I'm getting ready to go out for girls night with Nat and Wanda"

"Oh okay never mind... it was just an idea..." he said looking flustered at you rejecting his offer.

"Hey, how about tomorrow morning? We can go to that diner down the street that you like, Just you and me?" You offer and he smiles instantly.

"Yeah id like that" he nodded "have a nice night" he gave you a smile before making his way back to his room.

****

You chose to wear a tight fitted burgundy dress (that didn't leave too much to the imagination but made you feel sexy) and a pair of black heals, your hair was curled loosely and your make up natural looking with a slight smokey eye. You were ready for a night out with your girls and you felt good about yourself!

You head out to the kitchen to meet Nat and Wanda. Wanda was already out there waiting for us like usual making some drinks before we started our night.

"Y/N dear?" Tony said looking at you over the papers he was reading.

"yes brother?" You say in a tone that warned him you were not in the mood for his witty comments, of course that didnt stop him.

"Did you loose half of that dress??" He asked, making you instantly roll your eyes "i mean your almost exposing your....." he waved his hand over his groin area.

"Im perfectly covered, you cant see anything" you assured him.

"Im just saying you could have picked a dress with a bit more material to it sweetheart"

"I bet Nats is worse than mine and you wont say a word to her"

"Like i said before Nat is not my baby sister"

"Tony im not a baby anymore you dont have to worry about me"

"You will aways be my baby sister and i will always worry about you" he stated simply "im sorry kid but i cant just turn that off".

"Wow!"

"Jesus christ...."

Came the voices of Steve and Bucky as they walked in and saw what you were wearing.

"Oh god your gonna give these old men a heart attack walking around dressed like that Y/N" Tony commented.

"Well i think she looks hot" Wanda smiled hooking her arm through yours and giving you a smile.

"She does! You both do!" Steve nodded

"Hey dont forget about me!" Nat said as she strolled in to join us finally.

"You all look stunning"

"Thank you Steve, we do look pretty hot tonight ladies" Nat said as she pushed the drinks Wanda had made towards us "drink up and lets get this party started!!"

You, Nat and Wanda down your drinks and start to get ready to leave, Bucky had walked over to get a bottle of water from the fridge behind you and as you was about to leave he leaned in and quietly said "you look real nice doll" with a killer smile that made your insides turn to mush. You feel your cheeks burn but wasn't sure if it was from your drink or Bucky's compliment!!

"Thanks Buck" you reply quickly following the girls out before you make a complete idiot of yourself in front of Bucky.

[findingmagicalbeasts]

Exclusive

Pairing: Draco/Hermione

Words: 1680

Warnings: None

Hiding in a bathroom is exactly how everyone wants to spend a night out. But you cant pick and choose when you’ve got a reporter hot on your heels.

-So this is my first try at writing on this site, don’t feel the need to be kind, constructive criticism please, tell me whats wrong I need to know-

Speed-walking in heels. Great. Not only could she feel blisters forming, she could also feel the beginning of a leg cramp. It was not her fist choice to be walking so quickly in heels that were higher than she was regularly comfortable with, but that woman was in hot pursuit and if she couldn’t find a spare bedroom or even a broom closet to hide in, she was done for. She had been successful in avoiding her for nearly all of the evening, making rounds, mingling with people she hadn’t seen for a while, another thing that she wasn’t regularly comfortable with, though if it helped avoid that woman, she would do it.

 A door handle appeared as she turned the corner, finally, whose house has a corridor that long and empty? Oh right, of course the owner of this “house” did, he liked to call it a “Manor” or “Mansion” depending on how pretentious he was feeling. Which was usually very. She tried the handle, locked, that didn’t matter, there was another a few paces away on the opposite side. Mercifully the door wasn’t locked and it opened up to a darkened bathroom. Closing the door gently behind her, she didn’t dare turn the lights on just in case the woman saw the little sliver of light underneath the door and waited. As quietly as she could, she clicked the lock shut and let out a strained breath. If she waited long enough it would be safe to come out and quietly leave the party without causing a fuss. Her social obligation was made, she’d mingled with enough people, and she’d even made it around to the host.

 “What are you doing?” A hissed whisper broke the silence. A male voice, thankfully, the hiding spot still safe. Until she connected the voice with a person. The host, what was he doing hiding in an unlit bathroom during his own party.

“Me?” She blinked at the darkness, trying to locate him in the dark.

“Why are you hiding at your own party?” She demanded.

“I think it’s quite obvious” He spat back.

“Well seeing as I’m not leaving this bathroom for the foreseeable future, you might as well give me something, even if it is so obvious” She said. “And by the looks of it you’re hiding from someone, probably the same person so please let me in on your huge secret.” She intoned forming air quotes with her fingers and then realizing that he probably couldn’t see any motions she was making.

“She tried to get her hooks into you then? She really has no qualms.” He said.

 He was right of course, Katherine Delevant, the woman in pursuit of the two of them apparently. Katherine had taken up the fallen mantle of Rita Skeeter with a vengeance and had made a sport out of getting invited to parties like these by dating any single man to get in as his plus one. Once she was in she would settle her sights on a handful of targets for the night and bother them relentlessly until they gave her something to write a scalding piece on the next day. Tonight she had already taken down Millicent Bulstrode who had tearfully admitted that her mother went to a muggle plastic surgeon to keep herself looking young. Michael Corner who she pestered with questions about his string of male lovers until his current boyfriend stepped in and called her a number of terrible names. She trapped a very pregnant Katie Bell in a corner and barraged her with questions on the legitimacy of the father of her child which earned her a slap on the face and Katie’s irritated husband holding her back as Katherine strode away with a self-satisfied smile curling into her reddening cheek. Her last two targets, the sneakiest of the bunch were Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.

 Draco, the host of the party, had been bouncing from person to person, doing his duty as host that doubled as a great escape plan from Katherine. He kept a keen eye on her, and made sure when she moved around the room, he moved in tandem but in the opposite direction. He managed for almost all night, when he found himself needing a moment to breathe and get a drink. So he made his way to the bar, not noticing that her eager eyes had followed him and with that she did her best to quickly intercept him before he became occupied once more. Not quickly enough, her “date” caught her arm as she crossed the room, he looked slightly angry and she was sure that he probably said something to that effect but she didn’t care. All she cared about was her target who made brief eye contact with her and swiftly moved out of her line of sight.

 With Draco momentarily missing, she changed to her other target, Hermione Granger, who had watched the exchange with Katherine’s date. Hermione quickly did the mental math as she saw Draco slip out of the room. She looked back as Katherine and saw the creeping grin. Not a good sign. Trying to be as inconspicuous as she could be, Hermione turned and walked in the opposite direction, heading in the way that Draco left. Once she turned the corner and was safe from the eyes of the party she broke into the fastest speed walk she could manage.

 Ending up in the same bathroom that Draco was apparently hiding in wasn’t the plan. If they got caught by Katherine, here, together, nothing good would be printed in the papers in the morning.

“Well, Hermione,” His voice curled around her name, “Looks like were camping out in here until she tires of her search.” He said, voice still hushed just in case she was lurking.

“Lumos.”

“Are you crazy?” She demanded, her voice raising a tiny bit. The faintest blue glow came from the tip of his wand, illuminating his face in an odd way. He raised his finger in front of his mouth in a hushing motion.

Still aggravated, she asked in a lower voice,

“What if she sees?”

“Don’t worry your brain in a knot Hermione.” He snickered. “With those heels on your likely to fall and cause much more disturbance than this light does.”

“It’s called a calculated risk, I’m sure you don’t take any of those.” He scoffed.

She would’ve reamed him out if they weren’t hiding.

“Exactly.” He said when she didn’t respond, his mouth forming an amused smirk. The ghostly blue light made the angles of his face stand out, his eyelashes casted shadows across his forehead due to the placing of his wand. It made him beautiful. Unfairly, no one should be able to look attractive in this light.

She opened her mouth to say something when they heard a set of clicking heals against the tile floor. Her pace was quick but not hurried, Katherine knew that Hermione had found a place to hide, now she was looking for irregularities to show where she might’ve gone in a rush. Her pace slowed as she tried the handle across the hall, a few more steps then the handle on their door shook. Her feet filling two shadows along the bottom of the door. They collectively held their breath as she left the threshold and wandered further down the hall.

 His hand rested on her elbow as she turned to him, letting go of the breath she was holding onto and wrapping her arms around his waist. Her head crooked so she could lay in on his shoulder.

“Too close.” He broke the silence.

“Agreed” She said.

“At least she didn’t get the exclusive she’s been hounding us for” He muttered

“I like us the way we are.” She said, moving from his shoulder to look into his eyes. The light from his wand was still lighting his face in that breathtaking way. His lips looked fantastic. She went in for a small kiss. When she pulled back the smirk returned to his face.

“Just couldn’t resist me, even when we’re trapped in a bathroom.” He laughed.

“Shut it,” She hit him lightly in the chest “You just look weirdly good in this light.”

“I look good in any light.” Cocky as always.

“Ok Mr. Ego, I think we’re in the clear.” She said sarcastically.

 They had kept their dating life very private from prying eyes. Only telling their closest friends that they were dating. So of course that information somehow reached the general public which ended with Katherine Delevant trying to write her way into fame via their private love life. Draco and Hermione had agreed no one but the two of them had a place in their relationship so they kept it that way, shutting Katherine down at every opportunity. This evening being a little bit harder to be as blunt as they wanted since they were, technically, in public.

 Hermione, being closest to the door slowly turned the lock in the opposite direction and started opening the door. She peaked her head out a little, the hallway was clear. Draco moved around her, his hand finding her waist as they stepped out into the hallway, they made it to the end of the hall and were about to turn the corner when they heard the voice they had been avoiding all evening.

“Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, a moment of your time?” Her voice anything but kind.

Draco looked to Hermione, something flickered across his eyes and he turned to Katherine, his arm still around Hermione’s waist, which was noted by the reporter. He made direct eye contact with Katherine and then in a flurry of movement he brought his lips down onto Hermione’s in a dramatic fashion. The kiss lasted for several moments longer than was proper as they both lost themselves in it.

They then turned back to Katherine who seemed speechless finally.

“Hope that was a good enough exclusive.” Draco winked back at her as they walked back towards the party.

[sylviathewanderer-blog]

Sylvia’s Sci-Fi Series - A sneak Peak

So I've mentioned that I enjoy writing science fiction before. Well I was working on a sub story to go along with an episodic series I've been working on. The sub story is about the alien that crashes on earth and leave behind the wreckage that eventually gets reverse engineered and used to create humanity’s star ships. Each small section is told during the opening of every episode as a way to explain the history of the universe and important events that tie into the main story in some way

Currently, I haven’t posted any of this story anywhere else as I’m just not sure where I’d do that. I’ve also never had any of my writing published. This is just something i enjoy doing for fun, though I would love to let others read my writing eventually. So far the only people who have read my work have been close personal friends.

This community has been so nice to me and helped me so much while I tried to figure out just who I am that I figured I should try to give something back. If you like it let me know, especially if you know a good place for me to start posting the series as a whole so it has a place to live, grow, and be seen by the rest of the world.

When this story begins it is 1947 in the USA and the main character is the sole survivor of the Roswell UFO crash. He’s been picked up by the military and is now being held at a secret military base. (i’m not happy with that section yet and am still rewriting it, which is why it has been omitted from this sneak peak.)

* * * * *

A small large headed grey humanoid sits alone in a tall wooden chair, his stubby legs hanging off the ground as he shifts trying to get comfortable in the stiff, unpadded seat. He rests his long hairless arms on the top of a small square table placed directly in front of him. A single light hangs directly above his head barely illuminating the rest of the small barren room. He drums his fingers idly on the surface of the table while looking at a large mirror set in the wall in front of him.

“Yup, real intimidating guys. . .” he says rolling his large eyes. 

He straightens up as he hears the door to his right side unlock. The door gives a slight groan that nevertheless echos loudly around the mostly empty room. Two humans, a man wearing a military dress uniform practically covered in metal bars carrying a second chair, and a woman wearing a soft pink A line dress with her dark curled hair mostly tucked up under a small pink hat holding a clipboard and a pen. The military man sets his chair across from the alien and sits in it folding his arms across the surface of the table and glaring deep into the alien's large grey eyes.

“Ah, so I guess that makes you the 'Bad Cop' then?” The alien asks holding back a chuckle.

The military man looks from the alien over to his female cohort raising an eyebrow at her.

“We have very good hearing. I was listening to you both going over your plan in the room behind the one way glass the whole time.” He leans around the man in front of him to give a wave to the mirror across the room “Hi, other guys back there still! Don't bother whispering, I can hear that too. . . Yeah, even that.” He slowly leans back to sit straight in his chair again giving the man across the table a satisfied grin. 

“Then you know why we've come?” the man says with a snarl never dropping his piercing stare.

“Yup, you ‘mean to see a man about a ship’. Am I right?”

The small framed woman steps forward. “We don't wish to steal your ship from you. We mean to offer you a trade. A. . . er, an offer of purchase!”

“Yeah, I've been hearing all about that.” the alien says waving her off  “Dunno who the 'Rooskies' are, but I'm sure they'll be shaking in their boots.”

“Are you interested in hearing our offer.” The man states rather than asking trying to maintain his own illusion of control over the situation.

“Yeah, and I'm not interested in any of your currency, land, nor any resources. I could use a beer, though!” The grey alien shifts his glance between the intimidating stare of the man and the look of shock on his assistant's face. “What? I'm an alcoholic, alright! There, you made me say it. What is that, Step 1 on the road to recovery?”

The woman lowers her clipboard and cants her head to one side feeling her grasp of reality slipping a bit. “You'll sell us your ship for a beer!?”

“Oh, not just a beer. I want all the beer I can drink.”

“That can be arranged.” The man in the uniform says flatly, letting a small smile drift across his lips for the first time since entering the room.

“And I want one of the ships you produce after reverse engineering the wreckage. That point is non-negotiable. Wipe out your Rooskies. Take up asteroid wrangling. I don't care what you all do after I leave. I just don't plan on spending the rest of my life stuck on this rock!”

“You'll help us then?” The woman asks approaching the table.

“As long as I get what I want out of it and you guys don't try to pull anything on me, absolutely. Keep in mind though, I hear everything!” The alien says leaning over the table and giving a glare of his own.

* * * * *

A small grey skinned man roars in frustration slinging a stack of papers off of a low table screaming in his own native tongue as he paces, stomping back and forth across a room filled with diagrams and wall sized computer terminals.

A woman with dark curly hair wearing pressed business attire walks into the cramped workspace. “I-is that cursing or some kind of drinking song from your home world?” she asks laughing a bit to herself.

“Swearing! Definitely swearing! What the Hel-” he stops as she raises a carefully trimmed eyebrow. “What am I supposed to do with this. . . garbage!?” he yells motioning to a large computer bank with a pair of tape reels spinning on the front of it. “Is this seriously the best computer your planet has!? Magnetic TAPE!? Your species seriously hasn't figured out nano-cellular processing yet!?”

“Sorry if my people aren't sufficiently advanced for your liking Mr. St-Straz-zt'dak-ou-” 

The alien shakes his head at her “Don't hurt yourself trying to say my name. Just call me Grey like everyone else. It worries me every time you try to say it. Your eyes start rolling into the back of your head and you do that odd lip. . . pucker. . . thing.”

The woman stops suddenly feeling very aware of her own facial expression. “Oh. . . I er. I'm sorry, Mr. Grey.”

“I do like that thing you're doing right now where all the blood is rushing to your cheeks, though!” He says giving her a smirk.

She whips around trying to hide her blushing face. “Please. Just stop teasing me for a minute so i can try to help.”

“Look, the problem is that with computers like this, we'd need the ship to be larger than this entire base just to make fit one powerful enough into it.”

“Can't we copy the computer your old ship used?”

“Not without material from my home world. We're going to have to wait for you guys to learn to build more compact computers with what you have. The first step will be ditching the tubes and the tape.” He shoots another scornful look at the large spinning reels “I'd love to teach you how, but I'm not a computer engineer! I'll start working on propulsion in the meantime, but this is a huge setback!” Grey says pulling a few schematics out of a filing cabinet.

The woman bends down picking scattered sheets of paper off of the floor. Most of the drawings are clearly done by hand and the text is stretched, crooked, and a bit oblong. “You're handwriting is just terrible. You know that?”

“Yeah, sorry I wasn't raised writing in English. You only have, like, five good letters!” 

“Oh?” she says as she straightens her stack of paper

“Yeah O, Q, C, G and D. . . U is almost tolerable, but the rest can fu- . . . I can do without.”

“Sorry, that was insensitive. I wasn't thinking about what your native texts look like when I said that.”

“Nah, don't worry about it. This whole thing has been culture shock for everyone. Am I clear to get some fresh air, yet?”

“Sorry, it's still light out.”

“I don't see the big deal about people seeing me. So I'm an alien? There's tons of us out there! I don't even look all that different from you all, just healthier in color, less hairy, and not as badly stretched out!” Grey says rolling his schematic out on the table and looking over it.

“They're afraid it would cause a panic. There's been all of those movies about aliens attacking folks and all.”

“And who's bright idea was it to start making those?”

“Well, the hope was that seeing aliens would slowly make people comfortable with the whole idea of your existence. Then Hollywood went and made you all the monster of the week, and. . .”

“Yeah, brilliant plan.” Grey stops working and looks up at her. “Why green of all colors though?”

“See, I was more confused by the antenna.”

“No that actually makes sense to me. I think they were trying to explain how I hear so well without visible ears.”

She laughs a bit, slowly rotating her pages and trying to sort them into the proper order before looking up at the small grey man carefully marking his schematic “Are you really us leaving as soon as we get your ship built?” she says after a moment.

“Why? You thinking about coming with me, or do you want me to stay here with you?” Grey says looking over at her.

She simply looks into his eyes feeling tears welling up in her own.

* * * * *

Grey slowly stretches his arms under twinkling stars enjoying the feeling of the cool night air on his thin arms. He tilts his head back stretching his neck and shoulders while staring out into the black.

“Hey, Carla, what are you waiting for? It's a nice night out here!” He calls out to the curly haired woman standing in a nearby doorway. 

She slowly steps out looking both ways before crossing a dirt road marked with deep jeep tracks. “Sorry, it's just cold out.”

“That's just your small fingers. Put on some gloves and you should feel fine! Here, sit.” he says patting the surface of a nearby picnic table.

She walks over slowly backing onto the top of the table and pulls her purse off her shoulder. 

Grey hops up beside her dangling his short legs over the edge. “So how long have we been doing this, now? Hiding like animals in the dark while we slowly building a super weapon for your government. . .”

“It's been a year, maybe two years, I'm not sure. Please don't call it that, though. We are building a space ship, one we can use to get humanity to the stars!” She says digging through to bottom of her bag looking for her pair of black Isotoners. 

“Come on, let's not pretend to be naive. I know exactly what I'm doing for you all. For me it's my chance to get back home, for you all it will be the weapon to end all wars.”

“I thought that was what the nuke was for.” She says slipping on her gloves.

“Heh, supposedly. It's never as simple as all that, though. Having the biggest, baddest weapons changes nations from being on the defense to suddenly scrambling for any excuse they can find to go on the offense. I've already heard rumblings about preemption. That's how it starts and then next thing you know, you are the evil empire that's threatening everyone else.” Grey says pulling a short hand rolled cigarette from his pocket and placing the tip of it in his mouth.

“Where did you get that!? That stuff is illegal. It's dangerous!”

Grey rolls his large eyes at her and pulls out his lighter to light it. “Tch, you believe everything you hear on the radio? This stuff isn't gonna cause madness. It actually does the opposite. It's calming my nerves which wouldn't need calmed if I got a bit of sunlight every now and then.”

“Say what you want, but it's still illegal!”

“Yeah, and so am I. What are they gonna do? Arrest me?” he says as he takes a long drag being sure to carefully blow the smoke away from Carla.

“Oh, that stuff stinks! I wish you would smoke tobacco instead.” she says fanning the front of her face.

Grey simply smirks watching her put on a show. “Nope, that junk doesn't work. Funny hearing you protesting now. You used to partake with me. You go and get married on me, they gave you a fancy title, and now you're going all proper on me!”

“We all have to grow up sometime, Mr. Grey.”

“Back to Mr. are we? Tch, what's this world doing to us?” He says a bit sullenly as he pulls the rolled paper from his mouth. “You can't tell me you don't want to have a go for old time sake.”

She looks at the gentle curl of blue smoke rolling off the end of it for a moment before reluctantly taking it. “You are a terrible influence on me, you know it?” She says before placing it between her own lips and taking in a long, deep drag.

“I just can't stand seeing you not being true to yourself, is all. You're bigger than all of this pretense and prudishness, and you know it.”

She blows out a long stream of billowing blue smoke toward the sky feeling some of her worry and tenseness slowly escaping along with it.

“See that? There's still a rebel in there, somewhere deep down, just looking for a chance to escape and run free.”

“Run away from her life and responsibilities with a crazy man from beyond the stars.” She says slowly before handing the roll back to Grey and pulls up her legs crossing her arms just under her knees. “Are we even getting close? Everyday that dream feels further and further away.”

Grey looks at the bruises on her wrists then down at the dirt and sand “It's slow. We have a lot of men working on it, but the technology just isn't there yet.”

She tucks herself further into her own legs resting her chin on top of her knees. “We're running out of time. Brass isn't happy with our progress. I'm starting to worry that they are going to shut the entire project down if we don't come up with something.”

“I doubt that. They spent all this time and money renovating this place and relocating everything so we could use the dried lake bed as a test site. Why go through all the trouble and resources just to shut us down a few years later?”

“Ha! Now who's being naive? You don't know the government the way I do! It's a bunch of old men with no real world experience, and even less patience, all jockeying for favor by making everyone who disagrees with them look foolish. They spent a ton of money on this project knowing that their enemies would accuse them of wasting tax dollars on us. They're demanding some kind of trinket they can throw back into their detractor's faces to prove that it isn't all a waste.” Carla says frowning as she looks down at her smoking partner.

“Science doesn't work that way.” Grey says trying to wave the comment away with a long hand.

“Yeah, but politics does, and for now politics is paying the bills.”

Grey huffs loudly looking back up at the sky. “Humans and your damned obsession with money. . . It's no wonder you all are so far behind.”

“You never cry.”

“Hmm?”

“I've seen you get sad. I've seen you sulk. I've seen you mope. I've never seen you cry.” Carla says staring down at him. “It's therapeutic, you know. You don't have to pretend to be tough for me.”

Grey laughs. “It's not that. I'm not pretending to be anything. My species can't cry.” he pulls at the bottom eyelid of his left eye. “See? No tear ducts. I couldn't cry if I wanted to, which I don't. It's just not an instinct my people have. Instead we use sarcasm.”

Carla laughs a bit “Wait, but if you don't cry then how do you clean dust from your eyes or keep them lubricated?”

“We didn't evolve from mammals like you. We came from amphibians.”

Carla tilts her head slightly still looking into Grey's large eyes.

He sighs a bit “We have a secondary eye lid that has a mucus coating for that. It's hard to show you because it closes at the same time as our primary eye lid, but here.” Grey grabs his top and bottom eyelids holding them open. They twitch painfully as he closes his other eye and slowly forces the slimy secondary lid to slide out from the side rolling away from the center of his noseless face. He lets go of his eye lids and blinks several times from the irritation. “Did you see it?”

“No I missed it. You'll have to do it again!” Carla laughs

* * * * *

A soft blue convertible speeds across a dried lake bed trailing a billowing cloud of dust and debris high into the bright blue sky. Behind it sirens and alarms ring out echoing across the desert. Carla holds onto a wide brimmed hat steering her car with one hand trying to maintain control while getting as much speed as she can out of the vehicle. In the passenger seat Grey sits on his knees watching chaos erupt from the military base behind them. 

“We're doing this thing! We're actually doing it! We're going on the lamb like Boner and Clyde!” He yells over the sound of the engine roaring

“That's Bonnie and Clyde” Carla calls out looking over at him. “And I'd like this to go a lot better than that! Forgive me if I don't want to see you, me, and the car all filled with bullet holes!”

“Hey, I'm just glad to be out of the base and in the sunlight!” He turns around and stretches his arms. “It's been years since I felt the warmth of a star on my face. Where are we headed anyway?”

“Mexico. It's about the only place we can reach that won't expedite!” Carla says as she steers the car towards an unmarked dirt road. “This is stupid. This is idiotic. I had a future! I had a position. I had money! I had a comfortable life! I'm a married woman! What in the hell am I doing!?”

“I think this is called an affair, isn't it? Or do we have to sleep together for it to become an affair? Wait, what was eloping again?”

“It's treason! I'm going to be caught and killed. I'm going to get us both killed!”

“No, treason is when you betray your country.” Grey pauses for a moment “Ok, yeah this is treason. I mean for you. For me this is just a prison break. . . maybe oath breaking, too. Shit! I'm not helping am I?”

Carla bites her bottom lip shaking her head as the car bounces down the uneven road. 

Grey slides over and puts one hand on her shoulder and uses the other to slowly stroke her back. “We're in this together now. You and me against the world just like its always been.”

“I don't see a way out of this. I don't know what to do. You're sure about that signal? There is a ship nearby and you can hail it?” She says fighting the urge to look into his eyes for comfort.

“Absolutely, it's not one of my people's but it's friends! I've got the radio from my ship all I need is something to rig it with to use as an amplifier and we'll have a pickup in seconds! Don't worry, I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. We are going to see the stars, Carla. You and Me, out in space having a real adventure! No more stuffy military bases, no more shitty husbands, no more being yelled at for not being able to do the impossible! Real freedom!” He says gently patting her back.

“Alright, I'm calm. Please get back in your seat and buckle up. I can't do this without you.”

“Heh, yeah seat belts, like that crap ever helped anybody!” 

The car swings a wild left screeching it's tires as it turns onto a paved road at full speed. Grey suddenly feels himself pulled away from Carla and flung over the passenger door. His long fingers barely reach the door in time, pulling his entire body down around the outside of the car. His eyes sink down to his feet as the road zips past, each bump and rock threatening to take off a foot as they scream past. Slowly he hoists himself back into the car. 

“Alright, seat belts. Good call. Wouldn't want to get hurt.” He straps himself in still feeling his heart pounding away in his chest. “What's that sound?”

“They're scrambling choppers to track us. We need to find some cover to ditch this car and lose them.” Carla says feeling her own heart racing.

“Helicopters? Dammit! This is why you don't piss off the military. They have all the good toys!”

[thekrazykeke]

Fandom(s): Deadpool, MCU

Relationship(s): Blind Al & reader. Deadpool x reader.

Request: Oh it’s cool just some deadpool/reader. Like where the reader is blind Al’s granddaughter(or daughter up to you lol) and she meets wade for the first time and immediately falls for him cause he’s akward and cute and he falls for her cause she’s sarcastic and funny??? If u cant its fine just wanted to ask cause i havent requested anything in a while lol😂

Requester: @keya168

Series (Ass Backwards): Part I, Part II

Summary:  Superficial beauty never mattered much in the long run, especially if someone was a piece of shit on a slice of white bread.

~

Sitting on the newly purchased couch, feet tucked criss cross, applesauce, and in front of you, on the glass table, your laptop is open on YouTube; more specifically, Everything Black by Unlike Pluto ft. Mike Taylor, fills the living room of Grandma Al and Deadpool’s (Wade, call him Wade) shared apartment. 

(E/C) eyes are closed to half mast as your fingers slowly, methodically, took your time undoing braid after braid. Less than half your hair is down from the excursion, but you can’t be bothered to care about that, experience had taught you that if you yanked at the weave braided into your natural hair, more than likely you’d end up with a bald spot. Hair grew back eventually, but who in their right mind wanted to walk around with a bald spot?

Crash! The front door slammed open, hitting the wall and Dead--Wade’s--cheerful voice pierced the silence of the once quiet apartment. “I bought pizza and Mountain Dew, it’s okay that I took a little nibble off the pepperoni and green pepper with pineapples pizzas because I really wanted to know why you liked it so much even though it’s completely gross and my tongue tingled for like ten minutes from the peppers--” Most people would have tuned Wade out by now, nodded along with strained expressions on their faces or told the merc to shut up. You didn’t do that. Just turned your head a little, fingers still moving in practiced motions, but you didn’t say anything, although you listened. 

Sometimes you didn’t have the words to speak on certain subjects but Wade could talk and talk and what he said was sometimes nonsense, other times random and completely unrelated, but occasionally, he could be insightful and deep. 

“It’s fine that you ate some of my pizza as long as I get some of yours.” Another braid is down and you toss it into the small waste basket near your left side. For the moment, you decide to take a break as your fingers are starting to cramp. “Did you bring plastic cups, paper plates and paper towels too?”

“Really, really, you’re not mad at all, because if I were you, I’d totally stab me with a fork or something, which don’t do that since it would so fucking hurt, for a second, and I really am sorry but I was super hungry coming back here and I was like ‘Y/N won’t mind, what’s a little pizza between compadres, eh?’, ya know and then--”

As he sets the box down on the spare space next to your laptop, YouTube decides in that instance to change to another song, Distraction by Kehlani. 

Holy. Fucking. Hell. 

‘Just ignore it, Y/N, just. ignore. it.’ If you changed the song abruptly, Wade would probably get the idea that you didn’t want him to think that you liked him in that way, which, you most definitely did. ‘In that way, fucking Christ, I sound like a pubescent teenager with her first crush.’ 

It was true. After the many weeks of coming to this apartment and steadily cleaning it with Wade’s help, just like the elderly woman stated, you found that the merc was a good guy. With loose morals. Very loose morals. Not that his loose morals was a deal breaker for you. He talked lots of shit to Grandma Al and your maternal grandma easily kept up with him. Watching the two of them was kind of like watching a tennis match, only ten times more entertaining. 

However, with you... With you, he was more awkward and shy. Not the typical ‘can’t keep eye contact, look someone in the eyes’ type of shy, but more like, Wade just had word vomit. 

‘Or I could be overthinking it. Again.’ 

A hand waved itself in front of your face, bringing you back to the present. “Hm?”

“You spaced out for a second there.” Perhaps you’re imaging the hurt you hear there. “Something on your mind, share with the class, bestie!”

Internally taking a deep breath, you decided to stop thinking for once and just do it. Speak on your feelings. The worst he could do was reject you and that’d suck so terribly, but wasn’t this even more terrible, feeling this way and not ever being able to do anything about it?

“Let’s go out.” The words felt inadequate. “Like, on a date. Us. Alone.”

God, this was just not your day. He was going to say no. Who the hell asked this type of question without at least being somewhat prepared? No one. Everyone that you knew at least were dressed to impressed, with their hair done, not half finished and a hot mess --

“Okay.” Wade said cheerfully, flipping open the lid of the pizza. Classic pepperoni, yum. “Can I watch Busty Beauties?” Frowning, you squinted at him. “No.” There was a pause. “You really want to go on a date with me?”

He lifted his mask just enough to reveal the lower half of his face so that he could take a bite of his slice held up to his mouth, and you marvel at the amount of trust that takes for Wade. The merc knows that you don’t judge him and then when you blink, his cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk’s as he chews on his food and then gives you a thumbs up as you stare at him from the corner of your eye. 

Fondness and amusement wars inside your chest. 

This guy...You like him.

[psychomxncy]

Violet stirred in the barrel, her limbs aching and numb from being stuffed in a cramp position for so long. Her eyes opened and she squinted hard, the light hirting her eyes for a while. It took her a few moments to adjust and when she did she found a plethora of gruff looking men staring down at her. But they didnt look like the men whod taken her. And she knew theyd crashed so these men were most likely not the same ones that had stolen her away. But all the same they were strangers and her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. She shivered, cold, exhausted and terrified.

Violet eyed the men, trying to keep her face neutral, or at least as neutral as she could despite how terrible she felt. She wasnt sure what to say.

“Can, can someone help me out please. I cant feel my limbs right now.” Her voice is deep, dark and effeminate. Fitting for the tall gothic woman.

“And, if its not too much trouble, could I have some water?” She wasnt sure shed be able to get free of her bindings or if these men would even free her from them, but if she could get free of the barrel and get some water shed be plenty happy for the time being.

“Please?” She added politely, trying her best to be a good guest. She studied the faces she could see, the redhead was handsome, had some nice makeup and a wicked scar. The blonde had a mask so she couldnt see his face, but the mask was neat. And then there was the white haired fellow. His makeup was just as fascinating and stylistically appreciated.

Shes a tall drink, just not the liquid kind

A closed violet one piece au rp with @rubidusmagnet

Violet was relaxing in the ocean beside her ship the spirit walker, in a net bottomed flotation device, she was enjoying the sunshine and coolness of the ocean water as they docked at an island. Her father, Spook, explored the island in search of medicinal plants, violet had just finished gathering food stuffs and was waiting for her fatehr to return.

What better way to wait then relaxed in the ocean? But what she wasnt aware of was a ship heading their way. The ship docked around the island side that was hidden from view. It was full of traders, human traders. They had heard of violets powers and decided she would be a good target. They made their way silently towards the near asleep goth woman, the ghosts of their ship alerting violet to the danger.

The tall woman leapt from her float and yanked herself on deck, but the traders were smart, they flung themselces a nto the ship, surrounded the woman and as she fought, before she could use her devil ability slapped sea prism handcuffs on her. She was rendered powerless and considerably weakened. This made it easy for the woman to be tied and made her easy for transport. She was long gone with the traders before her father ever got back to the boat.

Violet struggled to no avail as she was carted off to a ship, stuffed in a wine barrel and sealed. The traders tossed her in with actual barrels of alcohol they carted with them as a cover for their real cargo and went on there merry way.

“Didja see how tall she was?”

“And the rack on her wasnt bad either.”

“Hahaha shes gonna make us some good money, wonder if we could sell her to a dragon? Bet theyd like a ghost girl.”

“Maybe a bigger pirate boss would rather have her. Hahaha! Whoever takes her better be ready for a feight, she wasnt an easy one to catch, busted jimmys jaw and broke a few of carls ribs!” The men went on like this for hours, laughing and rejoicing about their newest prize, not watching the ocean.

The skies turned black rapidly, and the waved became choppy, sea beasts rose from the waves and came crashing down around the ship. The men took evasive menuvers and narrowly avoided the monsters, braved the waves and sadly crashed against rocks of an unseen island in the dark. The ship was torn asinder and the men lost in the waves. The cargo now free floating in the sea. The water carrying the gothic woman for a week before she and quite a few other barrels of goods carashed upon the beach of another unknown island, owned by a very nasty pirate from the worst generation.

[i-amusemyself]

All Emoji Asks.

🐰 what is one secret youve never told anyone?I don't really have that many secrets. I guess theres a side of my personality that I spend a lot of energy supressing like hell that I hate with a passion.💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?Right now? My best friend right next to me or my friend back home.🐹 what are some of your favourite pokemons and why?I mean, I only ever played pokemon go, but from that I loved the squirtles and the evees just bc theyre cute af🌠 if you were in charge of the world what would it be like?A lot more chilled out. Chill pills would be mandatory.👀 what was the most recent vivid dream you had?Okay I had two freaking weird ones the other night?In one I was a 10 y/o muslim girl going to a new primary school and while I was there I started raising money for a cancer charity.In the other I was taking a really hard A level maths exam and getting stressed and mad bc everyone kept talking and I couldnt finish it in time.☀ what do you like most about your best friend?EVERYTHING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Idk, I guess how forgiving and layed back she is. She always tries to understand and see things from your point of view.😘 talk about your crush or partnerLmao I'm alone 😂 I do have a crush but its a million miles from mutual so like, shes amazing but boi it hurts 😂💁 if someone was rude to you would you be rude back?Depends on how well I know them and what they're like tbh. I'll banter, but I avoid confrontation.🌟 what do you like about yourself? (3 things)😂😂😂 wow erm...1. I always try and put in all the energy I have if someone/something needs it2. I make loads of terrible puns its gr93. I really dont have any other qualities idk🐾 what are you scared of most? How will you overcome it?👏 I'm terrified of abandonment 👏 aaaand as of yet I have no idea how to deal with it ngl🎁 what never fails to make you happy?Really good stand up commedy or my favourite music💙 what annoys you about some people?Their complete lack of self-awareness. Idk, maybe I'm low key jealous too but srsly some people????😤 do you get angry easily?Yeah. I keep pretty good tabs on it so you probs wouldnt know it, but if something upsets me, chances are I'm hella pissed too.🐇 what do you always daydream about?Dramatic and upsetting situations or drunk situations 😂🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?1. Sort out equality and all that jazz2. Divide up the land more equally, bc it pisses me off that some people are living in tiny cramped shacks and others have 100 mile square farms.3. End capitalism and with that make all necessary services free.🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?Anon?✈ what is your dream city and why?I mean Ive always wanted to go to copenhagen but theres no guarantee its gonna be my fave. My fave so far is Amsterdam bc its so peaceful and the architecture is to die for.☕ talk about your ideal day?Spend it with my best friend/crush. Lay in bed late and be lazy and watch good TV/movies. Maybe go out in the afternoon to not go stir crazy and entertain ourselves. Stay up kinda late talking about deep shit, lying underneath the stars.🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Ambivert!💧 when was the last time you cried?Yesterday lmao 😂 i havent gone more than 2 days without crying in the past week 😧 I just got myself into a nice Depression Episode.🎵 name 5 songs you like atm?Argh I havent listened to music in so long (7 days...) umm so things i wanna listen to- youth by daughter- voices by Motionless in white- living dead girl by rob zombie- corpse roads by keaton hensen- lost boy by troye sivan⚡ if you had any superpower what would it be and why?Mind reading bc my anxiety would be halved.💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?I'd tell myself to stop trying to fit in and be like everybody else because the people I know are just a tiny portion of the population and really aren't much to aspire to. I'd tell myself to drop all my shitty friends because it would stop me from dealing with a lot of crap later on. I'd point myself in the right direction of the better people 😂I'd teach myself how to stand up for myself and how to not take any crap.And I'd give myself a hug and tell myself it's okay not to be cishet, because maybe if I could turn back time and start to deal with it earlier I'd be okay with it now.💚 who are you jealous of and why?A lot of people really, with qualities I don't have.I suppose one kid in particular is like, everything i want to be. Kind, hillarious, confident, close to people I love. 💎 what would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? Why?Bravery or kindness?? Its hard to have one without the other. Also beauty ngl bc im fugly.🙊 what are you ashamed of?My gender and sexuality 👏🌺 which languages do you know? Which do you want to learn?I know english and spanish and I'm learning Danish. Hopefully once I'm okay at danish I can learn arabic. Ill be satisfied after that 😂☘ if you could be any fictional characters friend/lover who would it be and why?I mean, theres plenty of fictional lesbians where im like 😏👀 but honestly if I had to pick only one person I'd choose Kieren Walker from in the flesh bc he needs a friend and I relate to him so strongly.☁ talk about your dream universe.Mental and physical illness doesnt exist. People arent dicks. Everything is free. No one feels unloveable.💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?Idk I'm p much done for the day 😂 I've been helping out around the house all day tho🐬 if you could transform into any animal what would it be and why?I mean i might be biased but either a dog or a sloth bc they get to sleep all the time 😂🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike.Someone I was best friends with for 4 years suddenly turned around and stabbed me in the back, made up shit about me, arranged that all my friends not talk to me for a fortnight, sent group emails stuffed with emotional manipulation and blamed me for her suicidal thoughts. I nearly ended it. Now I get to watch my friends still loving her like she isn't the world's most heartless person. It makes my blood boil.😣 talk about something that has been making you depressed/angry/anxious.I'm staying with my best friend rn and I can't stand the thought of going home.🍪 what did you want to be as a kid and what do you want to be now?I wanted to be a nurse and now I wanna be a doctor 👏 variety 👏🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?I cant really eat sugar 😂 so fuck knows? Chocolate?🍑 what are you obsessed with?Brains, thought processes, psychopaths, graveyards and more 😂💘 what happens to you when youre stressed?I just get really emotional and start agressively making lists everywhere in an attempt to sort my life out.😪 what are you sick of?Humanity.🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?Yeah its terrible 😂 i hate anxiety but I also kinda love it when my heart races.💥 what are some unpopular opinions you have?I....dont? I cba with discourse lifes too short.☔ would you consider yourself a good person?I think anyone with good intentions is usually a good person so yeah😊 what do you do as hobbies?Sleep, binge watch netflix and blog 😂🎤 whats the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?👏👏👏 Mr Brightside 👏👏👏 what a jam 👏👏👏🐝 whats your worst trait?Being waaayyy too clingy.🌷 whats your mbti personality type and why do you think it suits you?ISFJ and yeah defo, its the defender and I feel that tbh🐶 send me 3 fictional people and ill choose my favourite.Anon?👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?Kaitlyn Alexander is my bae.Besides that I dont really....obsess over any celebrities? Eliza taylor is doing p good 😂 ummm also some youtubers? Do they count?🐴 opinion on __?Its a great bit of punctuation.🍋 do you consider yourself to be an emotional person?Lmfaoooooo YES📚 share 3 books you love and your favourite quotes from them.M8. Thats not gonna happen 😂 I love any book that makes me cry but I cannot quote a single word.😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? Does it work?Find a quiet corner, shut my eyes and listen to my Depression Playlist. It doesn't always make me feel better but it helps me ride it out.🙂 what thoughts keep you going when you're sad?The thoughts of uni and that I'll hopefully meet some great new people. Also my best friend. Just in general 😂🌎 which country do you live in?England.🐧 describe yourself in 3 words?Awkward, tall and shy.🙉 what quotes changed you?"Pick your fights" bc as much as its a meme it helps me chill outAlso "everything is temporary" and "the sun will rise and we will try again".💭 do you keep a diary?I have a personal blog which acts as a diary yeah💫 who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander!! (Listen theyre like the first nb representation I ever knew and I relate so much to everything they say and theyre so cute and talented)👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?I mean, my initial response is no. Because we're just bags of flesh made up of cells and when we die those cells die so theres nothing to live on.But tbh we know so little about the universe I'm open to the possibility of anything at this point.🎀 whats your fashion sense like?Dior. I know what clothes I like and think look good but I never like them on me.🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Deadpool, My sisters keeper, pitch perfect 2 ermm🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?UmmmmmmmmmmmmWhen I first got my bunny, that was an amazing day!!🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Um my soulmate? Where are they at?