#crafting is good for your mental health
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My mom had two linen-cotton blend shorts she wanted pockets put in, and after my aunt said she would and then realized she didn't know how, I was called in. And I said yes, because, hey, it's pockets. Those take like maybe half an hour per pair. Easy peasy. Right?
Did she have fabric? Uhhh.. no. She'd go to the store last week. This week. Thursday. (It was Friday afternoon.) Matching thread? Eh, we'd find something.
When I got there, it was three shorts. One of them a true fuchsia that resisted matching any purple or pink thread in three seperate sewing stashes. But definitely, definitely cotton linen, all natural fibers. Except they stuck to the iron if you had it on too high. And wouldn't take a crease no matter what. Also, no idea what the bought fabric's fiber content was. Something slinky. Aaaand in the last few weeks, the butt seams were starting to stretch weird.
Turns out the entire thing was assembled on an overlock-type machine using "thread" that dissolves into fluff if it comes loose in any sense of the word. The stitches were so loose, one snip of the seam ripper had 7 cm coming undone.
Had I lugged along my 8 kilos of overlocker? I was told it's 4 pockets, of course not.
Did I mention all 3 shorts had been a "steal" at 20 bucks? Oh, and that they sparkle like Christmas tinsel under my sewing machine in a way no linen or cotton has done ever? The bought fabric was less plasticky than the shorts, and despite not being expensive either, would have probably made for twice as expensive shorts.
Whatever, at least my aunt had already printed the pocket pattern and we just... She had not. Fine. I copied the one off my mom's favorite pocketed dress, since those pockets met with approval. My aunt is the queen of scissors, so she cut pocket flaps, I undid side seams and reinforced some butt seams.
I pinned them on, sewed the first one and... Wrong side of the fabric. Whatever. Unpick, repin all 6 flaps, sew again. Aunt points out, these fabrics look like they'd fray in the wash; run a zigzag over it.
These wibbly wobbly bitches warp like I insulted their mothers the second they meet a zigzag in any capacity. Whatever. Aunt takes them away to be ironed out so I can pin and sew again.
One of the pocket flaps is up upside down. No one noticed this while sewing or ironing. And my machine apparently has very small stitches. Oh, and this thread came from my great-aunt, who never skimped on sewing supplies' quality. That seam is the strongest part of the entire pair of shorts at this point.
Aunt takes out the seam ripper and I work on the other two shorts. My mom comes back from an appointment and asks what's up. Can she help zigzag on her machine? Yeah, sure, but what's up? Please don't ask painful questions and just zigzag.
Those two other shorts? Zero issues. Straight seams, no messed up fabric sides, all pieces matching beautifully and blending into the original design like we had barely modified them.
That first pair? It took two hours to undo that one double-sewn seam. My uncle had to tap on to come help at one point. The unpicking stretched out one side of a half-sewn seam. And the pocket piece. The pattern markings, despite being just two and high contrast, disappeared twice. The fudging to get those seams even-ish was epic.
My aunt's knee is messed up. My hip is messed up. My mom's sewing machine resents being rethreaded. No one was having a good time by the time that pocket was done.
We spent 7 hours from start to finish, with two breaks for food. I have finished entire dresses in that kind of time frame. I have no idea what went wrong.
Oh, and I still had to shorten something for one of the nephews after. Which my aunt, blessedly, had ironed into shape for me.
It took 10 minutes.
And after all of that, my aunt tells me "I'm still not entirely sure how you put in pockets..."
#sewing#hubris gets punished#my hatred for polyester grows worse daily#my mom sews with blank steel pins on a gray floor#those pins tried to crawl into my machine#magnetic pincushion? whatever for?#“I see you prefer thicker thread like your great-aunt” I DO NOT IT IS JUST WHAT WAS THERE#brb crying into a pillow#my aunt got punished by having forgotten some mending she needed done#and also getting hella behind schedule despite doubling my optimistic “two hours at most”#crafting is good for your mental health#long post#rant#i just don't know what went wrong
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I'm usually pretty open about everything - kink, smut, sex, morality, etc. including, I hope, mental health. But I don't know that I talk about it often as I could.
I'm not obligated to share things about myself. I choose to - I'm not obligated to write, draw, or even answer asks - I do these things because I find enjoyment in them, and I personally find extra enjoyment by creating a space that's comfortable for more than just me.
Today, is a bad day. I get them - I talk about getting them I know, I'm pretty open with "don't panic, I'm just taking a day away." or lower keyed, or some such.
One of the reasons I'm like that is because about three years ago I lost an exceptionally dear friend.
A force of nature.
A... objectively good person, who was, at the time of his passing about a year younger than I was.
Far too young. Here one moment, gone the next.
Today is hard. The A/C is out, it's hot outside, there's three fans in the room and one in the window trying desperately to keep things cool and comfortable enough. Funnily enough my day job, that good old 9-5 is the least stressful thing I'm dealing with.
I passed out from the stress a bit ago. Not like, blacked out and hit the floor, but like, one minute I'm eating on the couch, the next it's 2 hours later and my throat hurts because I was leaned back snoring like some old geezer conked out for an afternoon nap.
Which was more stress - I missed waking up my spouse, missed the time I could've spent doing other things, missed - well.
It's not yet a good day.
Honestly, I'm not sure what I mean with this post. I'll be okay, I always am. I guess I wanted to let people know, as much as I appreciate that y'all look up to me, please do not ever make the mistake of thinking I'm, I don't know, endlessly in control, I guess.
I struggle, say dumb shit, make mistakes, have pretty severe panic attacks, am 100% depressed, am egregiously terrified of bugs (I cannot tell you how much I loathe the fact that the window is open right now), and certainly have plenty of times, moments... days - weeks, every now and again - where it's not ideal.
Being true to myself in the face of that is, probably, kind of cool. I can concede that much.
Whatever my point for this post was, in closing I'll say - you're not alone. You're 100% worth it. It's so much bullshit to hear "it does get better" because it does, but it's never fast enough I swear. It's okay to have it down pat and then just not. Mistakes are a part of life you'll be making them in your 70s, but so long as you can take something from learn - a lesson learned, a capacity expanded, an understanding that some mistakes will be things you repeat, despite your best laid plans, and that's okay.
I love you - as a friend, as an acquaintance, as a fellow member of the wildly variable and frustratingly complicated collective known as humans, and maybe even as something more.
I'm glad you're here.
#quin muses#mental health#tw loss#tw depression#tw anxiety#i'm good I promise#but if you want to send me cool things I won't say now#you can ask box me your OCs#your newest arts#your newest words#your head canons#your crafts#your joys#your pets#I'll take it all <3
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Today's frivolous arts and crafts project is a little box modeled on Aziraphale's appearance at the beginning of A Companion to Owls, made with nail art bits.
#sometimes ya gotta spend 2.5 hours arranging little bits into shapes for your mental health#my crafting#fandom crafting#good omens#go s2
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I meant to say this on this post at some point but forgot if I ever put it succinctly. If someone feels no passion for something (especially if they're "bad at it"), they will almost definitely not feel any sort of "accomplishment" from compulsively participating in it so they can check off all the boxes that people online told them constituted for "good mental health." "Just do it, even if you'll suck!" works for people who want to do something, but are afraid to because "they'll be bad at it", not people who don't actually have any interest in something but feel like they "need" to do it anyway. Anyone who was an awkward, nerdy, socially isolated child forced into social and/or athletic activities by their parents would know this. The people who would gain the most accomplishment from "making something real" are probably all doing it already if I'm being quite honest. I don't think there are many secretly incredibly passionate rock climbers squandering their talents doing Bad Nerd Hobbies like "watching TV". What works for you just is never going to work for everyone, especially in the "mental health" realm. Also I feel like a broken record but no one owes anyone being "healthy" or "well-rounded" or whatever, even if Going For A Walk IS fantastic for everyone on earth's mental and physical health, some people just don't want to and everyone on here needs to get over that. This space is for burnouts and losers and underachievers and glorifyers of mental illness and promoters of unhealthy lifestyles and etc.
"Name a hobby outside of MEDIA CONSUMPTION" is the worst kind of post. It's squarely in that ever-growing genre of post where the point on its face is ideologically meaningless and entirely reliant on an audience's biased negative reaction to a certain popular online buzzword (in this case, "consuming media"). Define "media". Define "consumption". Are reading books, watching movies, and playing video games all inherently inferior hobbies for dumb babies? What about going to an art gallery? What about going to see a play? What makes those "different", if you instinctually answer "Noooo that's not the same!"? Where does creating art, or "media", fall into this equation? Why does your insistence on feeling in some way intellectually and/or morally superior than the peons who use TikTok always fall back on the idea that the only worthwhile, "real" hobbies require a certain level of physical, mental, and/or social ability and reinforce the glorification of manual labor? Why will we never Fucking be free?
#open mick night#ultimately this like literally all mental health advice on here has turned extremely quickly into#'what works for me must therefore work for everyone else'. yknow?#'making crafts is good for your mental health bc you'll feel like you accomplished something!' doesn't work if someone doesn't#care about making crafts or pottery or knitting or chopping wood or making soup or whatever. bc if you don't care it's not an accomplishmen#you're basically just doing homework for a class that you hate
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AM & PM Traditions
"AM & PM Traditions" are personalized habits your sims can use in their calendar to create their own morning and night routine so they can craft their own daily rituals.
Start your day off right with choices ranging from a refreshing morning shower, bathes, brushing their teeth and even shaving to some much-needed skincare. Don't forget a calming cup of coffee or tea after. Have work in the morning, I made sure to add a Pack Sack Lunch into the choices in their routine as well.
However, my favorite part of these traditions has to the be Words of Affirmations choice and journaling. I love having my sims indulge into some needed selfcare and couldn't hesitate not to add these features!
Everything Included
Bathe: Great for hygiene and starting the day fresh. It adds a realistic touch to your Sims morning rituals. All Types of bathing from traditional to using the petals, soaps etc.
Brush Teeth: Dental hygiene is crucial! It's good that you've included this routine to ensure your Sims maintain healthy teeth. You can complete this buy brushing your sims teeth by clicking on the sink.
Coffee and Tea: A perfect way to kickstart the morning or wind down in the evening. It adds a touch of realism and comfort to your Sims' lives. Brew and drink coffee or tea to complete this.
Journaling: A wonderful addition for Sims to reflect on their day or express their thoughts. It's a great way to incorporate self-care and mindfulness. Make sure to use the sims private journal to complete this.
Apply Makeup: For Sims who enjoy enhancing their appearance, this routine adds a touch of personal grooming. You can only do this at the vanity!
Remove Makeup: A thoughtful inclusion for Sims who prefer to go makeup-free or need to prepare for bedtime. You can only do this at the vanity!
Pack Lunch: Ideal for Sims with a busy day ahead. It's a practical addition for those who want to bring their own meals to work or school. Make sure you pack a sack lunch to complete this.
Shave: A grooming routine for Sims who prefer to keep a clean-shaven look. It adds realism to their daily preparations. This includes all body shaving areas, not just your face!
Shower: An essential part of maintaining hygiene. This routine ensures your Sims stay clean and refreshed. Just do your usual showering!
Skincare: A great way to incorporate self-care into your Sims' daily lives. It's perfect for those who prioritize skincare. I love this one, make sure you use a face mask or the cleanser to complete this.
Words of Affirmation: A fantastic addition for promoting positive mental health. It adds a meaningful and uplifting touch to your Sims' routines. Psyche self-up in a standing mirror to complete this. You do not do this one at the vanity.
Want more Traditions to add to your routine? I have so many!
Workout Traditions or Me Time Traditions
DOWNLOAD
#ts4cc#the sims 4 cc#the sims 4#ts4 mods#ts4#the sims 4 mods#ts4 cc#simblr#the sims#simwithshan#holiday traditions#ts4mod#mods#game mods#sims 4 mods#sims 4 maxis match#sims 4 maxis cc
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love languages; arcane women x fem! reader
heeeyyy guys... my birthday is in exactly 6 days (the 16th) just thought you should know
summary: headcanons of how arcane characters express all five love languages.
characters included: jinx, vi, mel, sevika, maddie, lest.
tags/warnings: fluff, slight hurt/comfort, mentions of poor mental health, smoking mention, maaaaybe the slightest bit suggestive?, just a lot of fluff
men and minors dni.
jinx;
✧.* words of affirmation; jinx is not good with words, she never has been. trying to rationalize her feelings with words seems next to impossible for the girl, but she’ll still try. at first, it starts with little compliments in passing. “you’re so beautiful, toots…” she’ll whisper, or, “you make things a lot less boring around here.” but over time, it’ll grow into jinx assuring you how much she loves you. that you make her happy, because she sees how happy it makes you to hear that.
“i love you a lot, sugar, don’t forget that!” she’d say, a goofy grin on her face. “y’know how to make a girl happy, that’s for sure.”
✧.* quality time; quality time is probably one of jinx’s strongest love languages, next to gift giving. she wants to include you in absolutely everything she does. whether that be dragging you along to run errands (for bomb supplies or stolen goods) with her, watching her tinker, tagging walls in the undercity together, or simply enjoying each others’ presence while eating, jinx loves it. she loves every second she gets with you, it helps keep her grounded. the voices grow quieter, her demeanor visibly shifts, and you can see little hints of powder coming out.
✧.* physical touch; jinx is extremely touch-starved at the beginning of your relationship. not only that, but she’s a bit fearful of touch. you do have to ease her into being okay with the idea of being touched with light squeezes on the shoulder, hugs that seem too short, and soft kisses to her hands. but over time, jinx grows to love physical touch. kissing your shoulders, neck, forehead, temples, anywhere. falling asleep on top of you. placing you in her lap no matter how tall you are. jinx grows to love the proximity.
✧.* acts of service; jinx likes to try and do favors for you, but she kind of… messes them up? unintentionally, of course. but if you ask her to run errands for her, you’ll have to be very specific about you want because she might accidentally pick up the wrong thing, and also specify that you’d like her to pay for it. she also may want to cook for you, but jinx should not be trusted in a kitchen. overall, jinx does enjoy trying to do little acts of service for you! but in her own way.
✧.* gift giving; gift giving is probably jinx’s strongest love language. she hand makes all of her bombs and gadgets, so naturally, she’d hand make gifts for her girlfriend! she’ll make you crude stick-figure drawings of the two of you with little hearts around them, smoke bombs in your favorite colors, and charm necklaces out of scrap metal. putting her time and energy into making things for you is jinx’s ultimate showcase of her love. she prides herself on her creations!
“look! i made this!” jinx would beam, dropping a piece of jewelry into your lap. a charm bracelet filled with little trinkets she crafted and a matching necklace. “isn’t it neat?! do you like it?”
vi;
✧.* words of affirmation; although vi isn’t always the best with words, she does truly value words of affirmation. to her, actions speak louder than words, but words can do a hell of a job, too. she’ll tell you again and again just how much she loves you. complimenting you, using one of her millions of pet names for you, letting you know how crazy she is for you.
“i can’t go a second without thinking about you, cupcake. you know that? don’t ever think that you’re not important to me, because truth be told, i’m crazy about you. i always will be.”
✧.* quality time; vi loves any moment she gets with you. whether that be time spent laughing over cheesy jokes in the last drop, playfully sparring with you, or naps curled into each other, vi can’t get enough. she’d show up at your door unannounced, asking if she can come in because she misses you despite seeing you the day prior (and the day before that.) she does enjoy her alone time as well, so she won’t be attached to you at the hip necessarily, but vi does enjoy her time with you. she’s at her happiest when she’s with her girlfriend.
✧.* physical touch; vi is a sucker for physical touch. it’s probably her strongest love language. vi always has to be touching you somehow- it’s both her love for you and her protective nature. an arm around you, hand resting firmly on your waist. snaking her arms around you from behind with a hum. kisses peppered all over your face as she drinks in the sound of your giggles. putting her hand atop yours when sat together. pressing you flush against her chest during late night cuddles. sleeping with her face in the crook of your neck and using her calloused fingers to draw little shapes into your bare back or arms. it’s all just so addictive to vi.
“hm…” vi would hum, using the pad of her thumbs to trace little stars and hearts into the skin of your lower back. laying her head on your shoulder, pink locks tickling your neck. “you’re so soft. so warm.”
✧.* acts of service; vi does everything she can to make your life easier. she’d slip your shoes on for you and buy all of your groceries and carry you out of bed every morning just to save the hassle if you’d allow her, but she settles for making you meals and doing little favors for you. i think vi can actually cook fairly well- she did have to look after powder for so many years. she’ll make you breakfast at least twice a week, she’ll put away your laundry after a particularly long day, and run errands for you. she’ll always return with a cheesy grin on her face. vi enjoys it, she both feels useful and gets to see her girl happy. it’s a win-win.
✧.* gift giving; i honestly can’t see vi caring much for gift giving. but if she does, she’d give you things she knows can be practical in daily life. household supplies, food ingredients, and replacements for broken appliances. it’s not that she doesn’t see the point in gift-giving, it’s just that vi doesn’t want to be wasteful- mostly due to her upbringing. she doesn’t see the use for having more than she needs, so she’d probably apply that same logic to giving gifts.
mel;
✧.* words of affirmation; mel is so good when it comes to communication, and by extension, words of affirmation. the councilwoman is always telling you how important you are to her, how beautiful you are, how happy you make her. the fact that she can’t imagine a life without you. you are her sun, her sky, her galaxy. mel knows exactly how to use her words to make you feel loved.
“i waited all day to see you, dearest…” mel would whisper, her soft hand tracing your cheek and coming up to cup it. running the pad of her thumb across your cheek so gently. “the council can be so dull. i couldn’t take my mind off of you, truth be told. you just motivate me to keep going- you’ll always be waiting for me.”
✧.* quality time; mel doesn’t necessarily have much time to spare. being caught up with the council, her own family affairs, and being something of a socialite, mel is frequently busy. but that makes the time she does get alone with you so much more valuable. she’ll have you by her side while doing last-minute paperwork, drag out mornings so she can get just a few more minutes with you, clinging to any little moment she gets. mel also enjoys including you where she can, so she’ll take you to galas and meetings that’ll allow guests.
✧.* physical touch; mel cannot get enough of physical touch. she has the restraint of a warrior, otherwise she would be touching you somehow 24/7. she loves to loop your arm around hers, elbows linked, she loves to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or interlace your fingers. she loves kissing- probably her favorite form of physical touch. there’s very little mel loves more than your lips on hers, her lips on your temples, her lips trailing up your arm to meet your shoulder, then up your neck and to your lips. leaving a trail of glittering lipstick the whole way. she craves the proximity, the warmth, the companionship. she also loves sharing a bed with you. she doesn’t mind being the big or little spoon, as long as she gets to be close to you somehow. clinging to you or vice versa while sleeping makes mel melt.
✧.* acts of service; mel tries to help you with things around the house and run errands for you, but she’s usually the one who needs favors. that’s not to say that she won’t fold your laundry if you ask her to or help you wash your hair, but she’s usually caught up with what she has to do and what she needs help with. when it comes to acts of service, mel is usually on the receiving end.
✧.* gift giving; gods help you, mel will spoil you rotten with gifts. it’s not only because she’s incredibly wealthy and luxury goods won’t put a dent in her account, but just because she loves seeing your expression when she presents you with something she knows you’ve been looking at. she gives the best gifts and goes above and beyond. if you mentioned needing a hair dryer, she’ll get you one- as well as a bunch of different diffusers, different types of brushes or combs, and hair treatments. if you’re walking down a street and stare at something in a shop window for a little too long, mel takes a mental note. the next time you see each other, she has the item you were looking at in her hands. jewelry, knick-knacks, sweets, and new clothing are her favorite things to gift you.
“mel, you really didn’t have to.” you’d whisper, holding a pair of brand-new golden hoop earrings, in the shape of stars. “nonsense. you had your eyes on them, so you naturally had to have them.”
sevika;
✧.* words of affirmation; sevika is not good with words. she’s not good at being vulnerable. so words of affirmation are definitely something that she struggles with. she’ll comfort you, she’ll reassure you, and she’ll be a shoulder for you to cry on, but talking about her own feelings is just… difficult for sevika. regardless, she’ll try.
“look. i don’t do this… i don’t know how to.” sevika would whisper, looking… somewhere. not at you, it’s clear that she’s nervous. “i love you. i love you a lot.”
✧.* quality time; sevika loves her quality time with you. yes, she’s a busy woman, but she’ll still do her best to involve you in everything she can. running errands for silco, filling out piles of paperwork, late night games at the casino, etc. even if it’s something as simple as a smoke break outside, sevika wants you to be by her side (unless you have problems with that, then she doesn’t mind). she’ll do the same for you, of course. she wants to be involved however she can be, so even if you’re doing something as mundane as picking up a prescription, sevika wants to be there with you!
✧.* physical touch; sevika was very touch-starved before she met you. no time nor desire for relationships, the only companionship she had coming from zaun’s brothel. so now, she’ll rest your head on her shoulder, sit you on her lap, squeeze your shoulder in reassurance, have a hand on your thigh… sevika craves that contact. now that she has it, she has you, she can’t get enough of touching you one way or the other.
“hey, babe? i’ve got a shit ton of paperwork to fill out.” sevika would call out to you. it’s clear that she’s annoyed, so why is she calling on you? “come sit in my lap. make it more bearable.”
✧.* acts of service; sevika’s strongest love language. her name means ‘servant of god,’ after all. fiercely loyal to silco for years, and now fiercely loyal to you. she will do absolutely anything she can to make things easier, to make you happy. she’ll clean for you, zip up your clothes, braid your hair when you don’t feel like it, clasp necklaces, run grocery trips when you’re too tired to do it yourself, the whole nine yards. sevika likes to feel needed, so the second you mention needing to do something, she’s on it. you could say you had food that needed taking out of the oven, and she’d bolt to get it for you- despite the fact that you didn’t technically ask her to do anything.
✧.* gift-giving; i think that like vi, sevika wouldn’t be crazy about gift-giving and would prefer practical gifts. however, when she does give you gifts, they’re usually custom. handmade by herself or a professional in zaun. this way, sevika feels like it’s more personal, more intimate, unique to you. she at one point gifted you a custom leather bracelet with intricate engravings, and has also given you carefully crafted tote bags when she notices your own are getting worn down.
maddie;
✧.* words of affirmation; i feel like maddie would be pretty good at words of affirmation! she’s open about her feelings and her love for you. she likes to be a comforting presence for you, so words of affirmation come naturally to her. sometimes she goes a little overboard and can be a bit too forthcoming with her feelings, but it all comes from a place of love.
“i love you a lot, you know that?” maddie would ask, her lips pursing. “sometimes too much, i think. i’d keep you here to keep you out of harm’s way forever if i could.”
✧.* quality time; maddie just doesn’t have much time to spare, unfortunately. being an enforcer is time-consuming as is, but being a junior officer means hours of training, volunteering, and education. maddie can’t give you much of her time, but when she can, she makes it worth it! she’ll take you all around piltover and tell you what kinds of things she’s done in what spots, let you do (what you can with) her hair, and use her brand-new, shiny camera to take lots of photos with you. making those memories and saving them in photo form is important to maddie, seeing as she doesn’t get many opportunities to do this kind of thing. i think she’d be the type to keep a photo of you in her wallet for when she goes on dangerous missions.
✧.* physical touch; maddie loves physical touch! she’s very playful and lively, very spontaneous. she likes to keep you on your toes. giggling while snuggling you, tickling your sides, wrapping her arms around you from behind to purposely startle you. she’ll tease you, pepper kisses all over your face… maddie just finds you adorable and can’t help herself when it comes to physical affection.
“behind you! oh, sorry, did i scare you?” maddie would ask with a giggle. “aw, you’re just so cute. i can’t not hug you.”
✧.* acts of service; as an enforcer, the majority of maddie’s life is service already. she enjoys being able to help you! however, she needs to be asked to do things, as she doesn’t want to take the initiative and accidentally mess things up. as long as you actually verbalize what you need- little favors and help, maddie will gladly be of service to you. she just doesn’t want to overstep and doesn’t want to accidentally do something that does she opposite of helping you.
✧.* gift giving; maddie enjoys giving you gifts, but they’re all bought and rather small because of her time constraints. they are thoughtful, though, and with each gift comes a very sweet card! written in neat penmanship, both sides of the card covered in her adoration for you. maddie would likely give you things like jewelry, candles, sweets, blankets, and weather-appropriate clothing.
lest;
✧.* words of affirmation; lest is great when it comes to words of affirmation. half of her job is speaking to clients and putting their nerves to rest. so doing the same to her girlfriend comes naturally to lest. her voice is always so soothing, her tone soft and sweet. it’s a talent of lest’s, always knowing exactly what to say at exactly what moment.
“don’t forget that i love you,” she’d purr, her lips close to your ear and soft eyes slipping shut. “i miss you each day i’m away from you, only hope to be with you sooner each passing second. i treasure moments like this, where you’re right here.”
✧.* quality time; lest unfortunately doesn’t have much time to spare, but her schedule is more flexible than someone like mel’s or maddie’s. if she really wants the time off, she can take it, and sometimes she does just that. you’d be surprised to see lest home so soon, but she’d just assure you that everything at work was taken care of, her clients and coworkers would be just fine. you were more important. much of what lest enjoys doing with you is in silence and relaxing together. she enjoys being able to curl up next to you with a book, or doing her nightly self-maintenance by your side.
“stay here with me, hm? i’m almost finished reading this… you help me focus.”
✧.* physical touch; lest loves and values physical touch with you. she prefers to be gentle and soft with you as she can take her time, truly savor and enjoy her time with you. but she’ll tell you exactly what she wants. whether she wants you to hold her, whether she wants to cradle your face and kiss you, hold your hands in hers, she’s very upfront and clear. lest adores the proximity, and she very often (literally) is purring while she’s curled up with her head in your lap. it’s endearing.
✧.* acts of service; lest’s entire job is made up of acts of service. so this does translate into your relationship. she loves taking care of you more than anything. let her detangle your hair after washing it, let her give you a warm bath, let her lay you on your lap and whisper sweet nothings to you as you’re pulled into sleep. let her adorn you with her own jewelry and paint your nails. lest enjoys being able to help you relax and unwind, especially after particularly taxing days. knowing that she can have that effect on you makes lest feel both needed, and significant.
✧.* gift giving; lest is very good at giving gifts. she knows some of the finest craftsmen in piltover, and she’s always able to give you something completely unique to you. most of the time it’s some kind of incense, fragrance, or jewelry, as is fitting for lest. scarves made by the same people who crafted hers, and earrings by some of the most experienced metal smiths. but she also is the type of person to buy everything you touch at the store simply because she saw that you were interested in it. that is if you let her, of course.
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#mel medarda x reader#vi x reader#sevika x reader#maddie nolen x reader#lest x reader#reader insert#arcane x you#sapphic
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We Care About You (Part II)
The aftermath that follows is a struggle for everyone to comprehend.
Content Warning(s): N/A
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader
Word Count: 1k
Previous || Next
Taglist: @silverstarred
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The past few days have been hard for your mind to wrap around.
Ever since that particular incident you had while playing Genshin, you've been extremely hesitant to log back on. Now that you knew all the people of Teyvat were self-aware, you were scared to imagine what they thought of you.
"Have they been self-aware the entire time that I've been playing? Have they always been able to hear my voice whenever I spoke aloud? Do the Traveler and their friends hate me for forcibly controlling their movements and actions like puppets? If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for me to leave them alone without letting them know?"
It doesn't seem like there's any part of your day where you're not thinking about how to follow up with the world of Genshin Impact. In fact, it's gotten so bad for you that some of your friends have noticed your change in mood and asked if anything was wrong.
Knowing that this situation is not only unheard of but also impossible to comprehend for anyone, you simply told them that you were dealing with personal issues, which honestly isn't that far from the truth.
Eventually, you began to worry if some of the people in Teyvat would figure out a way to reach you beyond the computer should you not reach back to them soon. In the past, you would've laughed at such a thought. But now that you've witnessed the impossible, you didn't want to wait around and find out.
"If I'm going to continue playing Genshin, I should at least try and accommodate their needs and wants better."
As much as you didn't want to delay your return to Genshin any further, you felt that researching all of your current playable character's needs, wants, likes, and dislikes took top priority over anything else in your life right now.
...Well...besides your needs and wants.
First, you took note of their favorite and least favorite foods. You would feel pretty bad if you kept feeding them food that wasn't their preference. Especially since characters like Lisa and Ganyu were vegetarians.
Second, you took note of everyone's talents. While you know that some characters had passive talents which gave you extra dishes when cooking or extra materials when crafting, you felt that those jobs should be left to the professionals, such as Xiangling and Albedo respectively.
"Let's see. First off, I should probably remove the people in my party with full-time jobs, as they take priority over exploring with the Traveler. So I should probably replace any Knights of Favonius, Liyue Qixing, Tri-Commission Member, etc. However, that doesn't exactly leave me with a lot of options to choose from. Although Xiangling works for Wanmin Restaurant, she's currently exploring Teyvat for ingredients. I assume accompanying the traveler would be fine with her. Bennett works for the Adventure's Guild so that works as well. But that also leaves me with a Pyro-heavy party, which may pose a problem for enemies such as Pyro slimes..."
However, the more you spent time researching, the more pessimistic and depressed you began to feel. Here you were spending all this effort trying to accommodate to all the characters you've obtained without even knowing if they gave a single thought or care in the world towards you.
"...I never really asked if they wanted to join the Traveler's adventures. ...So...maybe I should just only use the Traveler...?"
You sighed deeply. This was not gonna be good for your mental health.
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Meanwhile...
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The Traveler didn't know what to think.
On one hand, they were happy that [Y/N] was getting some much deserved rest. On top of that, they were also happy that they got to have a break from doing commissions all the time. But on the otherhand...
They were really starting to miss you.
This is the longest that they have gone without feeling your presence and they were starting to worry if they had accidentally scared you off due to that incident.
The incident that revealed Teyvat's self-awareness.
"...You're thinking about [Y/N] again, aren't you?" Paimon asked.
The Traveler chuckled sadly. "Is it really that obvious?"
"Kind of? Paimon thinks that's what everyone is thinking about."
They believe her. Zhongli, Venti, and a few others had reached out to them over the past couple of days for any news about [Y/N]. They were saddened by their expressions when they told them they had no news to give.
“...Y/N..." The Traveler sighed.
"Hmm?" Paimon hummed in thought, "What was that?"
"...To think that was their name all along. And to even think that they may be just as human as most people in Teyvat! It’s honestly kind of relieving when you think about it.
Although they weren't going to lie. At first, they saw [Y/N] as an unknown entity that possessed them to do its bidding. It was scary at first, knowing that neither them nor Paimon were able to figure out a way to interact with or avoid it. However, after solving both Mondstadt's and Liyue's respectable crises and powering them up with newfound strength, they started to see you as a sort of companion similar to Paimon.
"Yeah, even Paimon is starting to miss traveling and exploring with them."
"Is that so?" The Traveler taunted, "I thought that at one point you were trying to prove yourself as the better guide?"
"Hey! Paimon told you already that she has proved herself as the superior guide time and time again." She exclaimed as she crossed her arms.
They laughed. It felt nice to tease Paimon like this to distract them from the lack of [Y/N]'s presence, but they were starting to feel like they couldn't keep this up forever.
"Regardless, Paimon hopes that [Y/N] comes back soon. Everybody will feel a lot better once they do."
The Traveler looked up to the night sky and watched the stars flicker with light. Paimon followed their gaze and gave a sorrowful frown.
"I hope so too."
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Author Side Notes: I had an idea.
But in all seriousness, I'm flattered by all the positive comments, reblogs, and likes from the previous post. I only expected to get around 20 notes since it was my first post but somehow I've ended up at 800+ and counting? It's almost too much for me to handle lol.
As for the rest of this story, I've decided that it will likely take around six parts for me to reach its conclusion. We've got two down so far, so that makes four more to go. Of course, that's only if y'all want to read more.
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#platonic genshin x reader#platonic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#genshin impact
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N/SFW. Minors DNI
CW: GN reader / Men's Mental Health IG ???
KNY characters that I think are more prone to cumming in their pants / NSFW
Giyu
-He's inexperienced.
-I admire the almost fandom consensus of him being either resident, sexy, black haired, quiet anime boy, and/or 'nobody likes this friendless loser, he definitely has a tumblr'
-Any attention, platonic or not, from someone he's attracted to is enough to make Giyu get an apparent boner. He's prone to them when the people he admires say genuinely nice things to him.
-He doesn't get to hear nice things a lot, nor does he take compliments easily, so when he believes them, his body can't help but believe them too.
-He'd rather it not be that way, but due to his floundering mental health, and general isolation, Giyu isn't jerking off very often, nor is he able to get it up when he wants to, so he just goes... months without thinking about it sometimes.
-Could definitely cum from kissing too hard. Not just kissing, but particularly the rough treatment.
-Giyu must be incredibly touch starved, I imagine. I can't fiction the last time he's hugged someone. That scene where he's holding Shinobu, perhaps?
-So when he's getting so much attention, especially so much positive, romantic attention, even if it's a little rough, I'm sure his dick would be at full mast.
-he doesn't think he's predisposed to masochism or anything. He'd hope he wasn't, but it feels better when he's kissing, and maybe his hair is being pulled on, just a little.
-he'd be very embarassed. He wouldn't cry or anything, but I think he'd get up and leave the room. He knows you knew what happened, he didn't moan, but he flinched because the build up was so immediate, and he just couldn't stop.
-How pathetic. He can't show his face infront of you ever again. All he does is ruin good things. You're definitely disgusted by him.
-Even if he didn't realize how pretty his face looked during his orgasm.
Gyutaro
-Everyday I fight the gyutaro incel allegations, and everyday I fail.
-Gyutaro is socially inept, to put it blatantly. He spends an incredible amount of time locked away in his sister, and rarely chooses to come out unless eating for the two, or-
-if he needs to jerk off. A rarity, nowadays. Looking the way he looks can do a real number on one's ability to self-pleasure. He also isn't able to seek out assistance from any brothels- He still looks the way he looks. He's no Muzan- blessed with the ability to change his appearance at will.
-So when you're on top of Gyutaro, and he feels the curve of your ass in his palm, and your sex is positioned right on top of his, just barely grazing his clothed cock, as you try and teach him how to kiss (he's doing his best, but he knows he's not good-)
-He cums, and he cums hard. He grips down on your hips, and goes wide eyed, unable to stop the moan that rips its way from his throat... and then quickly moves you off of him.
-He isn't even finished when he moves you, he's shakey armed, and he nearly drops you.
-he's mortified. After all this time, he finally gets someone willing to touch him, and he blows it. He's borderline inconsolable- switching between begging you not to look at him and begging you not to hate him-
-but the noise he made was just so... pathetic.
Haganezuka
-Men dedicated to their craft don't have time to cum? Silly of you to assume he's ever even seen another person naked. That would imply he looked away from a sword for long enough to register it.
-On a completely serious note (as serious as I can be writing this), It'd be quite awkward interacting with Haganezuka sexually. His mind has been so consumed by perfection that, even if he wasn't dedicated to the blade, he's almost prevented himself from ever being able to cum in a social setting.
-He's developed a phobia of new situations he can't control. Especially sexual ones. Swords are easy and gratifying. Why would he ever need to cum when he can just make a sword and have it be respected and revered. Wouldn't that be nice-
-So when you started rubbing him over his pants, he was, admittedly, panicking. It's not like he went nearly 4 decades without using his dick... He'd just... gone 2 and a half decades without using his dick. Nowhere near the same.
-You'd barely even touched it, barely even pressed your lips to his neck, and Haganezuka was panting.
-The fear coursing through his veins, and the attention his forgotten cock was receiving- He grew more unsightly by the second...
-and then you pressed a particularly soft kiss to the corner of his lips and he was done for. That was his first kiss-
-Though shocked, you'd pump Haganezuka through his orgasm. It'd be enough to go through his pants, and spill over your hand.
-He'd grip your robes, and will you closer to him. His heels would slam into the floorboard, and he'd try to bury his face in your neck, attempting to muffle the groan he'd loose, only to fail tremendously.
-He'd be huffy after. Mad at himself and disguising it as being mad at you.
-'Well, maybe you shouldn't touch me anymore, if you found it so gross! Did you consider that? Just not touching me- ever?'
-but you saw how sad he looked when you said you'd do whatever he wanted. What a simple man.
#giyu smut#gyutaro smut#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer smut#hashira x reader#kny x reader#giyu x y/n#giyu x reader#giyuu x reader#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro x y/n#haganezuka smut#haganezuka x reader#upper moon smut#upper moons x reader#kny smut
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PAC : YOUR AUTUMN BLESSINGS 🍁
1. 2. 3.
May the remaining months of 2024 lead to a favorable plot twist for all of you reading this 🖤
To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at [email protected]
Services offered
Reviews
Thanks for the tip
Picture 1
• A lot of you will be blessed with foreign travel to a destination that heals this restlessness in your heart. It seems as though you had been fighting against the odds for so long and have also accumulated so much mental strain and grief because you've felt like you couldn't grow where you're at and you're right. You're going to feel the most alive you've felt in a long time. Don't turn down the opportunities that come your way. • Unexpected wealth or income from an unknown or foreign source. • Venturing out of your home or comfort zone. A change in perspective as well. • The sun rising after the darkest hours of your life. It's amusing that it's happening during fall when things usually wither away that you're getting your color back. You may feel like you're Venturing out alone or that your journey is a solitary one. You aren't too bothered because you're so used to it even as it terrifies you. But along the way you'll find people who want to walk beside you even as the cold threatens to sink into your bones. You might just find your soul family this fall. Perhaps home isn't confined to four walls but rather, the people and the places you've yet to step foot into.
Picture 2
• You'll be blessed with finding a balance in your life that earlier was bound to topple over no matter what you did and how hard you tried. You'll confront certain habits and behaviours that you have and actively choose to work through them. Some of them have been hindering your growth and costing you your own peace of mind as well as relationships. • Improvement in health. As well as recognition and reward in your workplace or emotional fulfillment via the work you do or your lifestyle changes. • Heightened intuition and foresight. Trust your instincts over fear mongering from others. • Possible expansion in social circle or connecting with people you can learn from without being ridiculed. You'll be introduced to people or spaces with a more positive outlook to life and circumstances rather than the ones who have a cynical approach to everything. • A better self concept and increase in confidence. Do not allow anyone to walk over you or be little you in any shape or form. • you may also get the confidence or the money to shop for certain fashion items you had earlier been stalling on or might be gifted the same.
Picture 3
• You'll be blessed with something rather abrupt. You may not even consider it as a blessing at first till realisation dawns on you. • I significantly see a blessing that's financial in nature something that will aid you in the long term. You might be too fixated at things going wrong at first. Please don't do that. When the opportunity arrives please have the courage to reach for it and make it yours. You may have the tendency to worry to the point that anything good happening for you is too good to be true. Thing is you tend to be blessed in rather unconventional ways. Certain things you may have quiet literally looked over for months or years. This autumn take some time to reflect on certain aspects of your life and how regardless of what was going wrong or what wasn't 'working out' for you had been in your favor all along. The more you bring in your awareness to that the more of these blessings you'll receive. • A lot of you do struggle with mental health as well as sleep issues. You're rather artistic however but may have kept your arts and crafts aside for a long time. You'll be revisiting things that have brought you joy in the past and feel happy this time instead of feeling performative. • Lastly, allow good things to happen to you.
#free readings#tarot community#divination community#pick a card#pac#autumn pick a card#fall pac#spiritual community#tarot readers of tumblr
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platonic yandere batfam thoughts...
how you end up integrating into the family.
I think we often forget how insidious the long-term effects of kidnapping are. Your whole world narrows and you have nothing fulfilling outside of them.
Realistically, how many weeks straight can you do nothing but look at your phone/watch TV? I know we do this every day, but we have school/work/friends/family to provide actual fulfillment and joy. But when you take that away? And have to decide whether you should scroll through monitored social media or talk to your captors?
Especially because the TV doesn't distract from the cold, hard gaze of the surveillance cameras in your room.
Even if you read and craft and cook, it's so difficult to keep your mental health in-tact without having a positive interaction with another human being.
It would start small.
It's morning and Cass smiles at you from across the breakfast table. Not wanting to be rude, you smile tightly back.
Jason wordlessly slides you a book. You take it.
After a few months, you feel slightly more comfortable about taking up space in the manor. Alfred is out of town for the weekend, so you make a sandwich with Tim.
Bruce talks to you about the new scientific breakthrough at Wayne Enterprises and keeps you relatively up-to-date on major world events. You begrudgingly learn more interesting facts than public school has ever taught you.
Soon, you've watched everything good on Netflix. You exhausted your tolerance for social media. You've given yourself headaches reading so much. You've hit an art/writers block like never before because your input has run dry.
With no other source of entertainment, you become more attentive to the Bats.
Of course, you've always watched them out of fear. But as months tick by and you've learned their hearts (and delusions), it's obvious that they would never hurt you. Furthermore, operating within their expectations is easy enough as long as you never challenge them, so the constant danger-sense slowly turns off.
However, because you don't have any outside noise to occupy your mind, drama in the house becomes almost life-and-death to you.
Peace is so fragile, and it's all you have.
Damian and Bruce return from patrol in a rage one night. Damian's furious echoes bouncing upstairs, followed by Bruce's low, indistinguishable scorn.
Fuck, you think. Now your and Bruce's talks are going to be stilted and uncomfortable. Now Damian is going to sulk in your room for hours, unwilling to talk about what happened yet wanting some kind of reassurance.
You can't keep them from fighting, but you want to protect your peace.
When you first arrived in this dreadful manor, you never would have imagined you'd offer them kind words and affection. However it's the only thing you can do now.
There's conflict. The house is tense--your world is tense.
Should you call Dick? He has a day job again, so he can't come over until tomorrow night. It's up to you to ease the tension.
So you do, slowly, with homemade food and Bruce's favorite coffee blend and Damian's favorite hot chocolate. You sit with them individually, shoulder to shoulder (much closer than you would normally sit), and pretend everything is alright. They're surprised but very quick to snap back into a good mood.
The house is suddenly back in order and you did it all by yourself.
And with these vigilantes, conflict is ripe. There's always people coming and going, fighting and playing, and you're unwillingly the most in-tune with the well-being of everyone's relationships.
You protect your peace. You protect the house.
this shit makes me gnaw at my enclosure. if you're fem, it's worse because ✨ stereotypical woman archetype ✨ anyway this has been on my mind because i've been taking care of my baby chicks and cooking dinner most nights, so i'm like 💁♀️ i could be a captive house wife click here for my yandere batfam masterlist
#yandere batfam#platonic yandere batfam#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#yandere dc#yandere batman#yandere headcanons#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere batman#yandere scenarios
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A family of his own.
The thought never occurred to Simon, not when his duty has always been to his country and the queen. A clean-cut soldier through and through, an attack dog, in a way; yet you managed to break down the walls he spent years carefully crafting to protect his peace, walking into his heart as if it was your God-given right. Settling comfortably into his heart, making a home in it, invading his every thought no matter how hard he tried to kick you out of his head.
It wasn't the lack of trying that caused his situation, but rather your persistence. He could push you away as much as he'd like and you still clung to him like a barnacle, refusing to move, merging into his shell to the point his whole self was more yours than his. His heart was yours to seek shelter in, his mind empty and ready to be occupied by you, his body kept clean and healthy for your soft lips to kiss all over, his cock hard and leaking, always ready for you to ride and suck.
He was too pussy-drunk and in love to even care when you suggested to do it raw, seeing it as an honor rather than an action that would have consequences, yet how could he think clearly when your wet cunt was wrapped around him, your pretty tits bouncing up and down while you ride his hard cock? God fuckin' bless Newton.
He knows what exactly caused this— how every single time he was close, his warm hands wrapped around the curve of your waist, holding you in place while he drilled into you; making sure your orgasm hit first before he kept thrusting into that sweet spot, hips stuttering while his hot, white seed spilled into you.
And what did he learn? Absolutely nothing new. Actions have consequences, he knew that much, and he truly wasn't surprised when the sweet thing he had waiting for him at home delivered the news with a letter, pretty handwriting adorning the white paper with something that would change his entire life. Pregnant, she said.
He spent many restless nights thinking about it, but surprisingly, not a single second was put into thinking how to get out of it. No, the thought of you getting pregnant was carved into his brain since the first time you suggested doing it raw, fully aware of the consequences, yet never giving it too much thought as your warm walls wrapped around him always numbed his brain.
Pregnant, he thought, seeming fond of the idea rather than conflicted. Simon was financially stable, had his mental health under control, was too professional and damn good at what he did to ever even get himself injured, yet he found himself putting even more care at being the Ghost, never wanting to come home to you with even a scratch, and he managed for thirty-nine long weeks.
Every single time he saw you, you looked even more lovely, full belly growing even larger and rounder, a protective hand always over your own stomach. The image always melted his heart, making him fall even more in love when his warm hand was laid over your stomach, applying soft pressure until he could feel the little bugger kick away underneath his palm.
"Lovely girl s'gonna come out ready to chuck a bloody grenade." His gaze softened when he heard your laugh, his hand doing nothing other than provoking the little one to keep moving and kicking, completely enamored by the sight of his fiancée resting in his arms in bed, cuddling her up and keeping her safe from the world.
The thought of having a family never occurred Simon, yet he was so ready to welcome his little girl into the world and break the cycle once and for all.
#cod mw2#cod mwii#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#ghost cod#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#call of duty#dad!simon riley#dad!ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#dad!simon#simon riley fluff#ghost x reader#mw2 fluff#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost x you#ghost x f!reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#pregnant!reader#mw2 smut#ghost smut
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wherever taurus is in your chart can tell you what makes you feel comfortable🌿🧸
taurus 1st house: feeling confident and expressing your real self and doing what makes you feel pretty like makeup,comfy clothing etc.
taurus 2nd house: financial stability , having really good self esteem and feeling at best when you go on a shopping spree or indulge in your aesthetics
taurus 3rd house: community , making friends/connections within school environment or with siblings and expressing your opinions/thoughts intellectualizing , writing down your feelings etc.
taurus 4th house: within the home and around family you feel safe and comfortable , decorating your room/house
taurus 5th house: doing art and crafts or being really good at making/sewing clothes even making food
taurus 6th house: good mental health and good health at that , having a peaceful and stable work environment even keeping up to date with your routines/plants
taurus 7th house: stable and secure relationships with that you can trust and rely on , making everyone feel included and loved
taurus 8th house: having a trusting and trusting intimacy life and marriage or just relationships , having a stable and good relationship with inheritance/taxes etc.
taurus 9th house: learning and exploring new things/cultures and countries and studying foreign languages or just wanting to be diverse and educated on different cultures and spiritual backgrounds
taurus 10th house: having job opportunities, a good career along with knowing what you want to do exactly and sticking to a goal/dream you’re really passionate about even maybe a good relationship with dad??
taurus 11th house: trusting and stable friends , knowing you’re or they’re a safe space for you , being aware of things socially along with knowing what you want to do about your future
taurus 12th house: healing and not holding grudges for things in the past from people/things that have hurted you , spirituality and letting karma just take care of things for you.
(If any of this is misinformation plsss lmk)
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Paper Canes (Yandere!Capitano/Reader)
Chapter 3 overview: Some people bet on their lives, some bet on their death. Alice of the Hexenzirkel had to learn that in a rather unsettling way.
CW/Tags: slowburn/soft yandere themes, afab!reader, unrequited love/obsession. While this fic isn't "too dark", the reader isn't mentally stable. Please prioritize your health first, you matter.
Chapter 1 || Chapter 2
You're always unhappy around Alice.
Alice is, by every account there is to be counted for, a very whimsical woman and a non-traditional mother— someone who will certainly die unconquered. If there comes a time when there would be no naysayers to disparage her name, then it would be safe to assume you no longer reside in Teyvat. The Tsaritsa duly noted your fervent distaste for her. You've sent infertile insults on her way and turned malicious thoughts into plans once or twice, but that fiery woman is no different from a cockroach. Christening the formula, you were certain you'd molded your schedule perfectly to avoid her mischievous gaze. Alas, you were wrong, and being wrong makes you unhappy—
Unhappy to have yourself wholly examined.
"I'm glad I roped you into a tea party with me! Here I thought I was shooting in the dark when I guessed you'd take the long way back."
This encounter happened on October 20th three years ago.
The year you lost your youth.
"If you're so painfully aware of how much I do not want to be here, why go to such lengths?" You grumbled, less of a question and more of an attitude show.
Alice poured you a cup of tea. In a way, you envied her. The iridescent flecks in her crimson pupils, the silky cream hair that drapes on her shoulder… a woman of her description was worth making a monolith for. What a shame that this was not your flavor.
Capitano's honestly far more gorgeous. But the last time you told him that, he said you shouldn't tease him.
"Isn't it obvious?" She laughed awkwardly, thanking good fortune for crafting an environment wherein you'd stab her with words, not weapons. "I'm not about to let a cute lovelorn woman ruin her chances of romance, you know?"
"Romance?" You scoffed.
Before you were Granny (Y/n), you were that "attention whore" of a harbinger. Your strength lies in forming connections and throwing extravagant social events. Balls, tea parties— you name it. It's what caught the Hexenzirkel's attention in the first place. No discrimination between humble folk and high culture. You were THE woman people seek as a medium for self-expression.
Though, if you were frank to anyone who would be willing to listen, you have got to be the most secretly antisocial host that ever graced public spaces. Outside those play-pretends, you keep to yourself.
So what the hell is she talking about?
"If you were reading your life as a novel, you'd swoon!" Alice grinned. "You know, the most you'll lose is some time and energy, but the most you'll gain is a lifetime with the Captain!"
Unlikely. If you were leafing through the pages of that novel, you'd see clearly how you went from going through life with spontaneous survival tactics before diving headfirst to unplanned survivor's guilt. Not that misery was ever willingly placed in one's schedule, of course.
"Don't care." You glared. "Don't use my life as a basic framework of history to write a cheap and marketable romance. I'm not a damsel in distress."
Alice laughed behind her painted nails. "Can you even defend yourself if I chucked a glove at you?"
"Do you want a show of hands?" You raised an eyebrow, irritated. "If so, there's nothing for me to demonstrate, I'm not—"
"Strong as you used to be." Alice's smile faltered. "Because you're giving up on the greatsword, right?"
She hovered her hand above yours hesitantly, before tenderly circling your palm with her thumb.
"I see through your facade; I know that your strength is dwindling." She sighed. "You're worried that you're falling behind—"
"I am. Mine may have slowed down thanks to the boughkeeper's help and pity, but I'm still rotting. The honor of strength is one I can freely do without. I'm confident I can still obliterate you."
"Indeed." Alice's eyebrows furrowed. "But is that any excuse to allow Pulcinella to plot against your back? To let him sweep that title off your feet and give it to a child who shouldn't be in danger?"
Ah, so this is what this is about. Not your non-existent love life.
Alice wasn't harassing for the sake of shenanigans. She wanted your hold on the 11th seat to remain firm so that a child wouldn't be forced into a life of hardship.
Subjectively neglectful as she may be, she is still a mother.
"Who says I want to continue being a harbinger?"
Alice froze upon hearing that challenging remark.
"Ruffie—"
"Don't call me that." You slammed a hand on the table, making not only those resting on the top jump but Alice as well. The table cracked. "If a kid replaces me, then so be it. Why should I give a damn?!"
What kind of self-absorbed fool would grieve over an empire of dirt?
Alice didn't look at you. Instead, her unsteady gaze was on the pack of cards that nearly fell off the edge.
You picked it up and snapped.
"What? You wish to play?"
Alice cleared her throat. The smile resurfaced on her face, eager to return the momentum she once had. "S-Sure! Why don't we play a game?"
As she was about to reach for the pack, you pulled it back.
"Hmm. I don't want to," you droned. "Let's have a bet."
Alice paled slightly. "A bet?"
"Don't think I haven't heard of your tales. I know you have a penchant for making others' lives infinitely worse." You put the deck down. "So, why not strike a deal."
"I didn't invite you here to make an enemy out of you."
"It's a friendly competition." You remarked. "I believe you'll agree to my terms."
Alice shifted from her seat. "Oh, okay then, I'm listening."
"Since you so badly want me to remain as the 11th, if you win I'll do as you wish. When challenged by that child Ajax, I won't hold back and let him scamper back." You shook the box. "However, if I win…"
You paused.
After scavenging through the shelves of your mind, finding a desire for fulfillment was surprisingly a chore. That isn't to say you have the world in your palms. There was no grand wish to shock her. If anything, what you wished was simple…
"Rest assured, Tsaritsa will say yes to an upcoming babyface." You smiled outwardly. "And you have to create a potion for me in return, witch."
"A potion…?" Alice batted her eyes, and suddenly, her mood lightened. "Could it be… You want a love potion too?!"
…
The room dropped a few degrees.
"Get a grip."
"K-Kidding, kidding!!!"
"And what do you mean by too?" The words slipped past you without a second thought. As you were about to retract them, thinking yourself above mindless gossip, Alice answered:
"Capitano asked if true love potions are possible, but started chickening out because of his morals— or at least something to that effect." Alice giggled. "He was so flustered and oddly ashamed of himself, you should've seen him!"
…
No, you'd rather not. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to your old friend. Whatever excites him is his business, not yours.
…
After a few rounds of silence, you spoke up.
"Wow, Alice." You said. "You are terrible at this."
The woman was set on making Klee shine, but her grasp of Kaeya's card mechanics failed her. She forgot that his burst demands a character switch to trigger its effect— a misstep that voided her melt strategy. Kaeya's card is squandered under her shaky command. Alice was left clinging to a dying Klee and Jean, the game slipping further from her grasp.
But all is fair in love and war.
You're shit at the game too.
Sure, she might have fumbled by leaving her last Jean card unequipped, but at least she wasn't as cursed by bad luck as you were with dice rolls and card draws. Broken Rime's Echo was the only gem in a heap of trash. Simply put, you've lost Columbina and a Pyro agent card.
You're deadset on winning with a terrible hand— she's locked in on having her precious golden child as the claimer of spoils.
Alice has her daughter, while you have…
"Isn't this adorable? You have your knight in shining armor with you!"
"He's not." You rolled your eyes. He knows what he truly is, and it's certainly not "your" knight.
"I could use a couple of astrology readings to check your compatibility~"
"No. Your readings are usually not just comments, but an arm-chair doctor level diagnosis."
"Yet I'm helpful, aren't I? Perhaps I've garnered polarizing reviews, but I was still deemed a wonderful advisor."
You glared.
"I'd give you your flowers; I'm certain you have helped many sort out their… issues. But I don't need your help or perceived pity. I'm rowing life smooth sailing."
You used Capitano's burst.
Jean gracefully exited the battle with a soft murmur about Mondstadt.
"Oh no, Jean!..." Alice looked genuinely upset. "Well, you don't have to say it, I can tell you need friends. One that wouldn't inflict…what does your coworker call it? Ah, right— vicarious trauma."
Getting personal huh? What a sour loser.
You laughed a little too loud, bitter. "Vicarious trauma… That's an even bolder diagnosis."
Once people are done singing praises, anyone can see you've lost more friends to "drowning" than you have in wars.
Alice cooed. "Still, you didn't deny that you need a partner— a soulmate. So why not let the lovesick Captain in?"
…
You quietly took a sip.
It's chamomile tea. Your favorite.
Which so happens to also be Capitano's. That man has a habit of forming his own opinions only after hearing yours.
Does he think having a lot in common means you'd reciprocate his feelings too?
… Surely not, he's smarter than that.
"His goals do not align with mine. He's best suited for a woman who would settle down. If you care so much, why not recommend him to one of your lady friends?"
"Everyone in Teyvat knows who he has eyes for."
"Ugh. Stop boring me with your half-baked drivels."
"Don't you pity him, even just a little bit?" Alice's voice softened. "Considering what he's going through right now?"
You froze.
There was a time… There was a time when he almost had a family of his own. But "his" poor dau—
You shook your head.
"I don't." You insisted.
"You're adorable— and a terrible liar to boot. Did you know that you keep looking up like Celestia would strike you for lying?" Alice sighed.
Upon having that epiphany, you fixed your collar and made a loud mental note to fix that habit.
You drew a card.
…
Seelie and Fatui Conspiracy.
You held back a grin.
Columbina… was she to praise for this dumb luck?
After a few rounds, you've activated both while Alice placed Liben and healed with sweet madame.
Capitano's on the brink of death.
How typical of him. Almost nostalgic.
"You'll lose," Alice said bluntly. "You really should think Capitano over. You're just hurting him and yourself by pretending not to know his feelings…"
You droned out her ramblings. None of that matters. You'd sooner get dressed for this stupid card game than a love confession.
There it is.
The seelie had its 3rd stack.
It gave you Adeptus Temptation.
…
But you don't have enough dice so you had to tune for cryo for now.
Klee had close enough energy for a burst, but Alice decided to play safe and heal.
You laughed, smiling at her without breaking eye contact.
"I was supposed to protect her, Alice. But I chose to host parties. When she lay in the hospital for her first, second, third, the fourth surgery, waiting for me, I sent a letter instead. I made an oath to protect her but what did I do? I sent two lousy paragraphs for some agent to read. And you think I have the heart to play sweet dolly in your game of house?"
You let out a short chuckle, the type only visible when the body slightly moves. Your disbelief is palpable, and your voice cold.
"You're funny, Alice. I'll give you that." You glared. "But you're too distracted."
Neither of you mentioned her name.
Was it out of respect or shame?
Who knows.
You don't want to remember her either way.
You made the last move.
…
…
…
"I… lost?"
"Wow, really, wow I never would've guessed you'd lose." You replied dryly. "It was such a close match too, oh wow."
You shrugged. "It's honestly so disappointingly anticlimactic the way you lost. Aren't you supposed to be a master of all things immature?"
Capitano wouldn't have won if it weren't for the attack boost. The last support card buffed his damage by 3 points… You'd thank him and Columbina after this but they wouldn't understand TCG.
"You mean childlike— oh whatever, that's not the point!" Alice whined. "I demand a rematch!"
"Denied. It's time you honor our deal."
She sighed. Alice slowly knocked her forehead on the table, deflating like a pathetic balloon.
"Fine… What do you want?" Alice pouted. "Is there anything in life you could want anyway?"
Yes.
Yes, there is.
There is something intangible that you wish to grasp for yourself but slips through your fingers.
You loosened up, your harsh stare replaced with a lazy smile.
Before uttering words like a prayer before the crusade.
"From here on out, I'll officially give up on both my title as a harbinger and my greatsword."
Victory was claimed. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but someday you hoped…
"Might as well replace it with a cane."
That this tragedy will be bested by another.
With what else, but Death itself?
Today is October 20th.
It's been a full year since you've taken this conventionally unappealing form. Conventional to Dottore's goals, at least.
"You must be Granny (Y/n)!" A floating fairy approached you, both hands on her back with a curious expression. "You asked the traveler to help you shop right?"
"That's right," you feigned a weak smile. "Would you all be cute little darlings and accompany a grandma for lunch?"
They both saw an elderly woman, covered in small bandages to hide the disgusting rot. You wore a humble peach blouson dress and sandals. Picture the perfect image of an old money retired widow squandering her resources for life's simple joys.
Hook, line, sinker.
"Of course! Leave it to the Traveler and Paimon to help you!" Paimon cheered, tugging Lumine, who smiled in response.
Lumine is a sweet little lady.
Not that she's young, mind you. The lass' lifespan can't be belittled. But just as you'd let her believe you're a grandmother, you'd wrongly treat her like a granddaughter. Conventional wisdom, as Dottore would say. And convenience doesn't mean right.
Watching Lumine's eyes, though dim, feign cheerfulness made you chuckle. You have to admire the girl; her mud-splattered legs and worn-out cape surely signify adventure. She reminds you of her brother. The prince had a knack for finding trouble, too— even though you'd argue Dainsleif is worse than him.
"So, what do you want to eat?"
You smiled and pulled out a ridiculously long list. "My pearl companions just couldn't stop raving about these delightful flavors ever since they got their dentures sorted, so of course, I simply had to try them myself!"
The rest of the conversation flowed smoothly, much to your chagrin. Being a conversationalist has its perks, but you seriously wish aiding Dottore was not one of them. You admitted you don't have enough knowledge to dispense good judgment on what to spend— and Paimon dominated the recommendations with food.
To be honest, sweets no longer excite you. You're used to war rations. Desserts as a pleasure are characteristically superficial in value.
But here you are, licking Natlan's rock candy desserts like a child…
"I was wary about trekking here in Natlan. I've never seen travelers who came from this nation— thought this was a fantasy land when I was a young lass!" You feigned worry. "I've only heard that they enjoy gladiator matches."
"Yeah, kinda!" Paimon spoke. "Paimon thinks they really like to grow strong. It might just be their love language!"
Is that right?… That reminds you of someone.
Someone with an imposingly tall figure and soft ocean gaze.
"The locals might have mythologized tough love as useful trauma." You hummed, amused. "Then again, their archon is a human, not the Tsaritsa. Natlan's ingrained belief to die and be reborn so patriotically is worthy of close inspection. Perhaps I assumed we shared the same values since those are what the nation I hailed from taught."
You rarely explore, so it's not in your best interest to push your own uninformed beliefs onto another's culture when yours also has its flaws. The masses will always be influenced by dogmatic forms of traditions. This is just Natlan's vibrant flavor.
Though Lumine teetered on musing about how Lady Furina is human herself, a witness must remain a witness. Not that Arlecchino didn't report about this months ago.
"Where are you from, Granny?"
You chuckled. "Where else but Snezhnaya, dear?"
"Ooooh that makes sense!" The fairy buzzed excitedly.
Not Snezhnaya. Khaenri'ah. But they don't need to know that yet.
Lumine stared at you. You're certain she's already figured out the truth. With those eyes of yours, you'll have to push that you're a 'descendant'. Only a matter of time before she'd act on her curiosity.
"Oh, how does it make sense, pray tell?" You closed your eyes as you sipped your soda. Too sweet for your aged tastes, but manageable.
"P-Paimon didn't mean anything bad by it!"
"Well, I wasn't assuming that you were going to say a bad thing about my homeland, Paimon. That is, unless, that's what your darling head was mulling over?" You teased.
You're no stranger to the two's estranged relationship with the Fatui. It's all Tartaglia ever talked about in letters addressed to you.
The flustered guide turned to Lumine frantically. "T-Traveler, a little help please!"
Before the traveler could come up with a lousy excuse, the souring dragons had snatched your attention swiftly. The rhythm of their flight made you stare up in awe—
And bittersweet nostalgia.
"Ruffie…" You muttered.
Lumine tilted her head curiously, which snapped you out of your trance.
"W-Where was I? Ah, yes." You cleared your throat. "Natlan's views are so needlessly breathtaking. Each generous ray is no different from the golden strokes of a weathered paintbrush. Even with my poor eyesight, I can still spot the river below us, glittering like powdered azure. The nation moves and rests at once."
You sighed, feigning your happiness enough that it became the truth. "Fascinating, is it not?"
"Huh, Paimon didn't know you can be so poetic."
"One can be poetic when they describe something worth seeing. Though I wouldn't dare say it beats my homeland when I know Snezhnaya is my home." You forced a smile.
"Only a fool would swiftly divorce knowledge; you'd do well to remember that, young ones."
'You are mine in this life, and if there is another life beyond Teyvat, then you are mine in there as well.'
'Yours? Is this yet another vow of loyalty? You shouldn't utter such words carelessly, lest you'll be misunderstood. Do not chain yourself to these ruined bones.'
'… I'm afraid you are the one who misunderstands.'
'Either way, you must learn not to sacrifice so much. A bleeding heart like yours must steel his resolve to be a true Captain.'
Capitano will never forget those bold words he uttered directly in your stunned face one passionate evening. He remembers, now fondly, how hard his grip on his sword was and how white his knuckles were. You, three years ago, stood as the 11th to the 1st— yet the distance in your strength was far from outmatched. Divided only by a mere fraction.
Yet here he was, back on the scenic cliff where you and he had that conversation. Admittedly, that exchange would not have happened if the locals hadn't lent liquid courage. He'd long forgotten what the collaboration mission was, but he'd be damned if he forgot the celebration. When his expedition team grew rowdy with their shenanigans, Capitano groggily asked you to accompany him for a walk. Since you kept mostly to yourself at the time, you gladly took his hand and saw unfitting yourself out of the lively scene.
Today is October 20th.
What a day to reminisce.
Just by standing here on Tetipac Peak, he could almost hear what was from five years past. Sense it, even. Once, you brushed strands of his hair out of his eyes and gazed softly. It was as if it was only you and him- the village and his men nearby ceased existing. Just you, him, and Natlan's gorgeous views.
That simple gesture alone fattened the greedy beast inside him. One that would hastily discard morality for a mere taste.
That simple gesture alone repurposed the prison in his mind into a sanctuary.
'Gorgeous.'
'G… Gorgeous? With this tiring visage?'
That was the first and last time someone called him that.
'You've no idea how much that makes you even more enchanting. Hmm, hmm. You have beautiful blue eyes, Captain. A gaze that pierces through one's soul is a powerful asset. If I were born in your body, I'd certainly elevate my status in one way or another.'
'… A face as scarred as mine? An asset?'
'I adore your scars. Those are marks that tell a hundred tales. I'm jealous of your men who all have the privilege of seeing that face every day.'
'… Then perhaps this is a face I'd only let you see.'
'Haha! And then what? Do you intend to wear a mask or helmet often?'
'... Perhaps. I'm aware that I'm beyond repair—'
"Lord Capitano."
He blinked, turning around. Capitano shouldn't have daydreamed so deeply. It's been a while since he had failed to sense another's presence. One of his people knelt before him, despite her cool demeanor, a good captain could tell that matters plagued her mind.
"Elena. Is there something to report?"
It is far from uncommon for Elena to appear when Capitano is in his lonesome. He has specifically instructed the fatuus for this discreet duty. A trained eye may be misguided in speculating the nature of Elena's loyalty— but the truth is there's nothing beyond the usual master and servant. If masters normally instruct their servants to spy on the object of their desire, that is.
"Yes, sir," Elena spoke. "Granny (Y/– Lady Ruffiana has departed to the restaurant at the People Of The Springs, sir. She is with company."
He hummed. Before, Elena would much rather work on paperwork taller than her stature than assist a grandmother's spine. However, as his blue eyes assessed her sharply, the lines on her forehead tallied more genuine concern than before.
…
"Come… Come again?"
"She has decided to hire someone from the Adventurer's Guild to accompany her to lunch, Lord Capitano."
…
Capitano, ranked first of the Fatui Harbingers, was rendered mute.
Maybe he didn't hear that right.
"A restaurant in the People of the Springs? I believe I have heard about it... Golden Dusk, yes?" Capitano looked away.
...
"Is there something on your mind, my Lord?"
"Golden Dusk... is that not a… place for young adults to court? As a lunch... date... of sorts?" He tensed up slightly. "Why would she? And with who, Elena? I believe you are wise enough to investigate their name."
Elena blinked.
The word date in this context sounds foreign when born out of the strapping Captain's battle-weary lips. Futile as it was, she bit her tongue and made certain no comment about how weak he came across. Worse, he was completely unaware of this. Just replaying the dry despairing sound in her head felt wicked.
Besides, a date is what he first thought of? This is (Y/n) they're talking about. She could just be sizing someone up.
How whipped is he? It's a famous tourist destination. Elena swears it's as if everyone but Capitano knows that his affections for (Y/n) have been broadcast to Teyvat several times. The art of subtlety is lost to him.
… It shouldn't surprise her. Capitano is also rotting, so much worse than your case.
Capitano isn't your knight in shining armor.
He feels his bones erode, mixing with his blood like a sickening fruit juice. The vile dark and metallic liquid that frequently visits his tastebuds reminds him how little time he has.
Capitano's obsession over you is no doubt a public spectacle.
Maybe to him, he's just a loser in a tin foil.
And yet, Elena knows that no matter how much his eyes dim, those piercing blue stares still reflect your visage. Ex-eleventh to everyone but reigns as one in his heart. It's cheesy, it's cliché, it's sickeningly sweet- it's Capitano, a man desperately in love.
Elena was wrong about one thing, though. Capitano suspects you know about his feelings.
She very kindly answered. "She's with the traveler, my Lord. Ruffiana had told us that should you ask, the money you had lent her last night was for commissioning Miss Lumine."
Quickly, the tension disappeared from his shoulders. He pinched his temple. Ah, of course. Befriending Persons of Interests has always been La Ruffiana's modus operandi—
He stilled, eyebrows furrowed.
As much as Capitano loathes to acknowledge this, you are no longer a Fatui Harbinger and therefore have been stripped of that duty.
"...What for?"
Truth be told, he's unsure if he wants the answer. Receiving the straightforward assumption might be akin to seeking his ruin.
Elena looked at him with a face that asked why he was troubled by this. He shot a furtive glance over Elena's shoulder. That shy motion confirmed her suspicion.
Here he goes again. For a split second, Elena hoped his curiosity stemmed from a work-related issue rather than whatever this was.
"... To… spend time with her, sir. That's what she said when Felix asked."
Elena didn't know either; she was running on vague inferences. Before you left, you said you wished to get to know the traveler more. You've even asked Capitano's informant, Ashe, for her preferences, attitude, what she would like to eat, and more…
Shit.
In a sense, it does sound disastrously like a date, doesn't it…
"Elena."
"Yes, Lord Harbinger?"
"Move my plans for a later date, report to the Archon that I have another urgent matter at hand."
"P-Pardon?!" Elena's eyes widened. Is he serious?!
She then saw that glint in his eyes. Though only for a brief moment and an inopportune angle— there was a melancholic and faraway stare from the man who towered over her. He had his lips pursed, distraught like an abandoned puppy.
Grieving for a woman who never wanted him.
'You're the bane of my duties. But without you, my purpose seemingly lacks meaning. You make me whole, (Y/n).'
'Haha, I'm your bane huh? Drunken words sure let out sobering confessions.'
'… Is that crude joke all you've concluded from my loving words?'
'What's that?'
'… It is nothing. Forget that I have wasted a smattering of your time.'
Elena cast her gaze downwards. Better not speak of it out loud.
"Of course. Would you like assistance in—"
"Yes, please, if you would." Capitano cleared his throat. "I assume you know what to do. Let us make haste."
"Understood, Captain."
Taglist: @macaronilovingracoon, @lucienbarkbark, @meimeimeirin, @notthefib987, @meowmeowakutagawa,
@peachymonkgeh, @definitely-asexual-volcano, @brainemptynothoughts, @aenishas, @kapitankarate,
@goldenglow149, @ionkknowhattonamethis, @futuristicprincesscrown, @average-scara-fan, @sleeplessskeleton,
@pix-stuff
A/n: i had to put the author's note at the very bottom because man, once this fic is complete yall will notice how much foreshadowing have already been sprinkled since chap 1 to 3 HAHAHAH-//shot
I had to cut a few more dialogue between Lumine and (Y/n) to the next chapter since it's exceeding the average word count I set up. anyways sneak peak
hehe okay now i'll adios again, I still have to code WhoDrankIt (HSR otome game) :'))
#Capitano's So-Called Liability#yandere capitano x reader#capitano x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin imagines#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin x you#yandere capitano#fatui harbingers#dottore#columbina#capitano#genshin#genshin impact#yanderecore#yandere imagines#soft yandere
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The thing about romanticizing the tortured artist trope is that it takes very serious health conditions, physical, mental, and emotional ones, and it turns it into a very empty aesthetic made for consumption. It takes a life story, and it turns it into a punch line, an easy way out to explain a lifelong struggle while having no regard for the person who actually lived it.
It’s a way of simplifying something so complex as a whole life story, take away the good parts, the artist’s talent, and atribute years and year of studying and practicing their craft to an illness. As if it makes people feel better that maybe they aren’t geniuses but at least they aren’t “insane”.
Artists are constantly working to the bone to get people to see and understand their art, to change the current status quo, to perfect their craft. The most important thing is not how an artist died. It’s the life they lived, the work they’ve left behind, their mark on the world. Reducing people to a tragedy is not a way of appreciating their genius: their art is.
No one is a genius because of their illness, their trauma, their suffering, but because they studied and worked hard to develop the aptitude they were born with. Talent is not a miracle, it’s a lifelong effort.
This stereotype is extremely harmful to people who are currently struggling with those health problems, and it should not be used to “give pain a meaning”, because there is always so much more to someone’s life than suffering, and there is always so much more to your own life than romanticizing your own struggles and those of others.
Pain is meant to be worked through, not fed. And when you feed yourself the myth that an artist was brilliant because they were sick, you are erasing a big part of their life to try and make sense of yours. But you won’t find true meaning in life if you’re only feeding your sorrow instead of maybe, just maybe, doing what those artists did and work through it with your own art.
A lot of them did not have any access to healthcare because their conditions were unknown, but they did what they could to keep going. Their deaths don’t mean they gave up in a big tragic ending, and reducing them to that means you’re erasing everything they did to keep going, every fight, every effort they put into their own health and into their life’s work.
I love impressionist art ever since I was in elementary school, my favorite artist being Vincent Van Gogh. I was first introduced to his story as a man who had a mental illness and died a tragic death, while struggling financially and never being recognized properly during his lifetime.
But you see, Vincent Van Gogh had his brother Theo, who kept all the letters his older brother sent him, and sent his brother words of admiration, support, and unconditional love in his own.
He helped Vincent financially so he could pursue his paiting career. He saw the talent in his own brother even when others might’ve not. The period when Vincent was doing a little better with his health was actually when he was most prolific in his painting, which shuts down the idea that someone must be on the gutter and on the deepest pain and sickness to produce great art.
Most people in really poor health have a hard time managing daily life, and they probably won’t miraculously produce their best work yet while they in extreme suffering (I dare you to make the greatest work of art you’re capable of while you’re down with the flu, now imagine being in constant physical, mental and emotional distress and people think you can just make just about anything). Great art takes a lot of work. Genius and suffering don’t go hand in hand, and it reductive to explain away talent by an illness, as if any effort artists put into their craft was meaningless.
Theo named his own son after his brother, and after Vicent died, he still wanted to make his work known, and after his own death, his wife Johanna kept working on Theo’s mission besides her own political activism. She published the letters between the two brothers, and her own son helped in making Van Gogh’s work even more well known. Even though he was just a baby when his uncle died, he kept his memory alive by founding a world famous museum in his name.
Vincent Van Gogh was able to keep working because he was helped by his own family, financially, emocionally, and was given every encouragement so he could go on with his own career. He painted more when he got medical help, even though in his own time he would have had access to much simpler treatments, since the understanding of illnesses has largely changed in the last centuries.
Healthcare, support, compassion and understanding go a long way, and that’s why it’s important to keep pushing society to be more inclusive to people with illnesses - so they will get the help they need, so they won’t leave earlier than they should.
Vincent Van Gogh’s name is not well known just because of his own efforts, but also by the efforts of those who loved him and kept his name alive long after he was gone. He is not famous because he was a tortured artist. He is famous because those who loved him tried to help him in the ways they could, even after he was gone. His fame is not the result of his death, but of his life’s work and the work of those around him.
Love made him known. Support allowed him to keep working. Getting some help even at a time people did not understand his condition well enough meant he could paint more.
Van Gogh was only human, and he felt such a broad spectrum of emotions and lived through so many things, just as we all do. Behind those paintings, there is a person, a story, and so much hard work, and none of that can be reduced to the romanticized ideal of a tragic death of a tortured man.
It is not about his pain, his suffering, his death, you see. It’s about his life. And it’s about the life of those who loved him. He was able to do what he loved because he was loved, and that is the reason is remembered to this day.
I will end this long post with one of his most famous quotes:
“There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”
#van gogh#theo van gogh#johanna van gogh-bonger#Vincent willem Van Gogh#on being human#on the tortured artist trope#original writing#on compassion#on art#on love
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Please check out your local library!!
I volunteered at a library this summer where my main tasks were returning books and organizing. Here’s some common books I saw tons of in the library that you can get for free!
Cooking. So much cooking. All kinds of foods, dietary limitations, and cultural specific.
Crafts (sewing, crocheting, knitting, painting, decorating, pottery, drawing, and cross stitching are what I can remember just off the top of my head. So many)
ESL/learning English
Foreign language learning
Financial advice
So many “___ for idiots”
Destinations / countries
Mental health / disorders (and recovery)
Music (including sheet music)
Classics (the ones you see read in high school)
Test prep (including SAT, ACT, PSAT, ect)
Gardening / how to grow stuff
Pet care
Child care
Illness information / coping
Disability information / coping
Both specific and general historical topics (From just the history of America in general, the history of a certain group of people, to history of certain events, ect.)
Most hobbies.
Religion
How-to’s and guides
Audio books and movies are usually available in the hundreds. Popular books and movies are accessible.
It’s usually disability friendly and most are also offering free games and devices to borrow.
Most also have computers where if you are looking for a certain book, it will tell you where it is in the library or which nearby libraries do have that book.
Fiction books are also abundant and usually the genre is labeled on the spine.
Even if you don’t want to take a book out, you can sit there all day and just read a book. It’s a good, quiet place for those stuck in a chaotic situation. It usually has AC/heat, bathrooms, and water fountains too. As long as you’re not a snorer, no one really cares if you even take a nap.
Overall, I cannot recommend libraries enough. People really think why go when you have the internet, but it really has everything and an immediate option so you don’t have to search. And, once again, free!
Libraries, especially in more conservative areas, are getting less and less funding and more and more restriction on books with content regarding LGBTQ+, black history/authors, and safe sex. Donate to your local library. Visit. Check out what is there. There literally is no negative!!
#mental health#positivity#self care#mental illness#self help#recovery#ed recovery#pro recovery#actuallytraumatized#actually cptsd#library#libraries#studying#study affirmations#studyblr#affirmations#politics#us politics#book#books#self improvement#self love#sat#psat#psa#resources#love#quotes#body positive#art
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arcane's depiction vs. endorsement and why it flopped
~ i think i'm finally ready to complain ~
My general opinion of season 2 is potential squandered. My recent post about Viktor's storyline as an intentional tragedy lets ya'll know that I did, for the most part, enjoy his arc (hot take, I know, and I know lots of people disagree with me, and I fully understand). If he'd gotten the screen time necessary to pull it off, it would have been legendary in my book. But the lack of screen time, even in the case of the season's eventual BBEG, speaks to my greatest issue with Arcane: no commitment.
(Critical) Discussion of Jinx, Ekko, Sevika, Vi, and Viktor below!
Arcane, as a tragedy (I've said this word too many times to count smh), asks the plot, "what is the worst thing that could possibly happen to this character?" and answers in kind. This is why we get Viktor's lost agency until the very end (and like I've said in the past, I completely understand and hold space for those who dislike this route).
If we ask this same question of the following characters, the scope of loss and despair innate to Arcane's final narrative is made very clear:
Sevika: a revolutionary forever devoted to the cause, not the individual, is nominated as an individual to represent the masses in a governmental body that has no interest in her class-conscious ideal.
Ekko: the people's hero in every sense of the word who never sees the fruits of his labor/sacrifice and who goes without the acknowledgement he deserves (more than any other Arcane character).
Vi: the ultimate victim of Piltover police brutality coerced, through grief, trauma, and loss, into working for the system that oppressed her. Even Caitlyn, for all her good intentions, seems incapable of ever understanding this.
Viktor: a genius hellbent on ending the same suffering he endured at the hands of Piltover's oppression has his agency revoked, driving him to inflict the same choicelessness he endured on Zaunite innocents.
On paper, these arcs are devastatingly sensical. And we don't always need happy endings in our stories (I'd sure like them, more often than not, of course). We can and should witness the harsh realities of class oppression if we don't experience them ourselves. The writing team painstakingly crafted and foreshadowed these worst-case scenarios throughout season 1. For example, in 1x07, Ekko being immediately shot at by Marcus at the bridge confirms our suspicions that Piltover Enforcers are a lost cause, not just full of bad apples but internally broken beyond repair. It felt that, despite all the hope, this struggle was doomed, and we were careening toward something dark - "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good."
Had these arcs been successful, audiences would be confronted with the systemic issues we see today that implicate the physical and mental health of downtrodden individuals on account of lazy, prejudiced leadership. This actively happens. It is actively happening, sans the fantasy of it all. This is where Arcane should have shined: they depict the tragedy of these characters, but DO NOT endorse it.
But Arcane chickens out and the entire thing fails. Here are the Flop Era Spark Notes:
Maddie is the egregious bad apple stereotype that absolves all other agents of the regime. She clearly is not a stand-in for Enforcers at large because, all of a sudden, they're capable of coordinated artillery strikes that are necessary to the defense of Piltover, which the viewer must suddenly and abundantly care about. So glad she died. Also, Arcane, you cannot introduce abject warfare in the last 30 minutes of your show successfully.
Jinx's "revolutionary" plot was a red herring, and Sevika humbly vying for the spot was never delivered upon. They pay lip service to the Undercity organizing, but the scene is interrupted for larger (messier) plot concerns almost immediately. No commitment. No depiction to even refrain from endorsing.
Ekko and the Firelight Tree. Clearly this was set up as a means of showing how Piltover's mistakes were physically seeping into the only sanctuary left in Zaun. Yet this is just...never resolved? If someone has some insights into this, please let me know. No depiction. No discussion about endorsement.
What could Vi specifically gain by aligning with the Enforcers/Piltover? Human connection with Cait, sure, but why return to them in 2x06? Vi's character begged all season for development, but she kept returning to her nonsensical error of her ways (looking backwards) until the very end, and this is basically what "kills" Jinx. This is a nod to her lonesomeness post 1x03, sure, but to what end? Again, why the Enforcers?!? Oh, because now that Cait has been redeemed and Sevika is in Piltover to save the day, there are no systemic issues left to fix? Sure, Riot.
WHY DEVELOP VIKTOR'S ENTIRE HEXCORE ARC OFF SCREEN?I'M ADMITTEDLY BIASED ABOUT THIS, BUT THE AMOUNT OF DISCUSSIONS I'VE HAD WITH VIKTOR NATION ABOUT THE DEGREE TO WHICH HE WAS INFLUENCED/MANIPULATED BY THE HEXCORE (now that we know Sky was a manifestation of his humanity, not her Actual Self) IS DESPICABLE. HIS COMPROMISED AGENCY NEEDS TO BE FRONT AND CENTER AND OBVIOUS, OR ELSE IT SURE SEEMS LIKE RIOT IS ENDORSING THE LACK OF AGENCY IN VIKTOR'S STORY. I shouldn't have to make 1k word posts to explain this. I'll do it because I love him with my whole heart, but still.
I begged and pleaded for months for BBEG Viktor (I'm really proud of my predictions from October), but by introducing a villain/conflict beyond the Piltover/Zaun dichotomy, Riot severed all threads of class conflict that were so rife and exciting in season 1. The proletariat and the bourgeoise will never coalesce like they did by the end of 2x09 without systemic revolution. Sevika is just one individual. Ekko's people need him. Jinx and Viktor are gone. Vi is downtrodden, and we have SO LITTLE to show for it.
In summary, we just didn't get enough explicit explanation of any character development to make Arcane-As-Tragedy successful. They did not stick the landing. The finale leaves us all with various bad tastes in our mouth. Instead of lamenting the harsh reality of oppression, I'm confused about what Riot prioritizes and agrees with, what they aim to criticize, and what they condemn.
I'll die on the hill that revoking Viktor's agency has the potential to be one of the greatest tragic hero storylines I've ever seen, but it's a lonely hill because I'm fighting against the writing team's consistent flops. At least Balayage Viktor was so gorgeous.
shameless self plug for my earlier discussion about the innate political clashes in season 1 that were abandoned for flashy fantasy fights in season 2:
#i think i'm so worried to complain because i want to preserve what i like about s2 in amber#and i truly see SO MUCH potential in it#but it boils down to shuffling the development where the viewer can't see or heart it#they'll never make me hate you jesus viktor#and sorry for the spicy caitvi take#i don't want to offend anyone by that and i'd love to hear more talk on that point#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#sevika#ekko#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kirraman#arcane meta#my post#viktor propaganda
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