#cracking from screaming but no one hears you or is too scared to save you and just like your parents you lose hope and strength too and you

[pointyfruit]

Just imagined a complex animated short about Bloodmoon huntin for ye good ol blood except it was in the perspective of one of the children that get hunted.

I almost made myself cry.

[cheesecakethots]

“Whore.”

You could’ve sworn the teacup in your hands cracked a little from how hard you’re gripping it. If you were Illumi, it would’ve shattered into a fine powder by now. But you’re not, which makes you susceptible to being called such things.

They’re at it again. You’re unsure as to what you’ve done to upset some of the butlers and maids, but god do they not like you. No matter. You hate everyone in this stupid boring ugly manor anyway. Huh. Maybe that’s why they hate you, too.

It must’ve been a shock to see Illumi of all people one day bring home his future wife. One he never cared to mention to anyone else beforehand, and one that was still kicking and screaming over his shoulder.

You’re not really sure how long you’ve been here. Months? A year now? However long it’s been, it didn’t take anytime at all to realise that maybe you’re not as safe here as Illumi swears you to be. His mother most definitely hates you, but, oh well, she’s never really tried anything, as far as you know.

The help started muttering things when Illumi wasn’t around, things that hurt more than you wanted to admit. When you didn’t go running off to Illumi at the first few instances of it, it got worse, as though they knew you would never tell him about it.

First off, you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of being your saviour when someone says mean things to you. Secondly, you may hate these assholes, but you have a conscience.

Only last week Illumi came into your shared bedroom, absolutely drenched in blood, asking if you could shower together. You quickly found out that whoever he had been torturing wasn’t dead yet, and he still had more to do.

Thinking about what Illumi does to people he doesn’t care about, those he’s only hurting for a job, makes you shiver at the thought of him actually harming someone who did him, or you, wrong. But, despite your mercy on them, this time you’re considering just telling him. Only a little.

You’ve had a notably stressful day, being pranced around by his mother who’s insistent on ‘training’ you to be the perfect wife for her son. Her explaining to you that the family expects at least six children from you both had you rushing to the bathroom to vomit.

Then you ran into his father, on your way back to your room. He doesn’t seem to actively dislike you, but he scares the absolute shit out of you. The man seems to think you’re some house pet rather than an actual person with thoughts and feelings, but you suppose that’s a modicum better than wanting you dead.

You also bumped into Illumi’s grandfather. You’re not sure if you can bring yourself to hate him, but you do hate the look of pity in his eyes whenever he sees you. Sometimes he’ll save you from a lecture Illumi’s mother is giving you, so he’s nice in that regard. He’d never free you, though, so he’s just another kidnapper you can’t become friendly with.

You eventually got back to your room, expecting a nice nap before being forced to attend family dinner, only to find Illumi had gotten back earlier than expected. You cringed at how hungry he was, and not for food, but just allowed him to do as he wished. You were too tired to argue. After he was done, he seemed to take note of how quiet and exhausted you were. Too bad, dinner time. You hated dinner times more than anything else.

You ate the admittedly lovely food in pure silence, but quickly became sick to your stomach at hearing Illumi and his mother discuss the prospects of you becoming pregnant. You didn’t eat anymore after that. You’re pretty sure his brother, Milluki, made some comment about you that Illumi didn’t like, which explains why his wrist was snapped in half a few seconds later.

Illumi tried spoon feeding you when noticing how full your plate was, but you managed to convince him that you weren’t hungry. That got you another lecture from his mother about how you’ll soon be eating for two. You were tempted to tell her that if you ever got pregnant you’d throw yourself into Mike’s jaws, but managed to refrain.

After that, you finally got to go to bed. It wasn’t something you were looking forward to anymore; you struggled to sleep when Illumi was home because he’d spend the majority of the night just staring at you.

“Can I go outside?”

You don’t remember why you blurted it or where the thought came from, but you remember the confused blink Illumi gave in response.

“Um.. just for.. ten minutes? O-Or five..? I just want to sit in the garden by myself for a bit… If not, it’s alright..”

You hated how pathetic you sounded, unsure as to what Illumi was thinking when he stared at you with that expressionless face.

“Alright.”

“What?”

“Would you like me to ask a maid to bring you out a cup of tea?”

You didn’t really think about his words too much, just happy you got something your way for once, and nodded rather enthusiastically. You should’ve said no.

The first few minutes of being in the garden, sat on the bench and allowing the cool nights breeze to settle on your skin had you relaxing for the first time in a while.

“Your tea, mistress.”

Oh. It was one of the ones you were sure hated you, and behind him was another. Oh, well. You took the tea from his hands, thanking them nonetheless.

It was much more bitter than you liked it, but you didn’t complain. You didn’t really want tea in the first place. They didn’t leave, but you didn’t complain. Illumi probably asked them to watch over you, maybe to make sure you didn’t try to run. It’s alright, you still have a nice view to relax with.

“Whore.”

Your eyes widen a little, and your grip on the cup increases. They continue muttering amongst themselves, but you catch small, demeaning phrases that you’re certain are aimed at you.

Why are you a whore? You’d never even had sex before you met Illumi, and if you had, it wouldn’t be their business. You’re hardly allowed to interact with anyone other than who Illumi allows you to. Where would you have the chance to sleep around? The insult doesn’t make much sense.

That’s what you tell yourself, despite the fact that your shoulders and hands are shaking and you feel something cold and wet running down your cheeks.

Shit.

You put the cup on the floor, hands moving to cover your face and wipe away any evidence of tears. Illumi hated when you cried.

Why are you still crying? What they said doesn’t make any sense. Stop crying, enjoy the view. You don’t have long left before you have to go back inside.

You’re still crying. You don’t notice that it’s gone eerily silent aside from your own muffled sobs, too busy working on shutting yourself up.

“[Name].”

Shit. Shit!

He’s been sat next to you for god knows how long now, and you didn’t even realise. God, this sucks.

“Why are you crying?” Illumi asks, and you can feel him move closer to you on the bench.

“I-I’m not,” you say, a hand still covering your eyes. What excuse do you give? If you say hay fever will he never let you out in the garden again? If you say you have a cold, will he keep you inside your bedroom for a few weeks? Months?

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel him staring at you.

“Would you like to stay outside for a bit longer?”

Oh.

“Ye-Yeah. Y-Yes please,” you eventually reply, gulping down another sob.

He doesn’t leave, but you’re less bothered by his presence than usual. Despite it being… him, it’s not horrible to have some company, even though you’d never admit it out loud.

You’re not sure how long you sit outside before he stands, prompting you to do the same. Neither of you say anything, not until you reach your bedroom and Illumi tells you in a tone softer than you’d usually hear from him that he has something he must do, so you’ll be sleeping alone tonight.

You turn to go to bed, but he grabs your wrist. He doesn’t look at you for a moment, seemingly considering something. Then, he stiffly leans forward, pressing his lips to your forehead rather robotically. Sometimes you wonder if he is a robot, it really would explain a lot.

The kiss ends soon after it begins.

“Get some rest. You look bad.”

You huff a little, but can’t bring yourself to actually be offended due to the thinly veiled concern in his tone.

The sleep you get is better than you expected. Maybe not having a mass murderer eyeing you up while you try and rest is a reason for that.

Illumi doesn’t show up for the entirety of the next day, which is a little strange. He likes seeing you off in the morning, giving you a kiss before he departs - you’re certain he copied it from a romance movie you used to enjoy watching from time to time. You don’t question his absence too much, you don’t exactly enjoy his company, after all.

The day you have is better than the last. Illumi’s mother seems to be a bit less of a bitch than usual. That’s a win in your book.

It doesn’t take long for you to be back in your warm bed, wrapped up in covers and drifting off to sleep.

You wake up to the feeling of something wet hitting the tip of your nose, and quiet breathing above you.

“Are you awake?”

You are now. It’s pitch black in the room, but you can make out Illumi looming over, his hair framing around you like some makeshift cage.

Still sleepy, you groan a little, “Illumi? What… time is it?”

Something wet hits the bed.

“2:57 AM.”

Huh. You breathe in through your nose. Illumi absolutely reeks. Metallic, is it? You’re not sure it’s the best idea to comment on it.

“Oh. Okay.”

Another drip of something onto the blanket. He doesn’t seem to be in the talking mood.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“… Yes.”

Another.

You gulp. “Are you mad at me?”

“I don’t think so.”

Another drip, this time it hits your arm.

“Are you going to hurt me?”

You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes narrow in the darkness.

“No.”

The silence is deafening. Your hands clutch onto the end of the blanket. He leans impossibly closer, and the stench of whatever is on him becomes all too familiar. He’s smelt like it before, but never this strong.

“How long were the help bothering you?”

“Since I got here.” There’s little point in trying to lie about it now.

“If you hide something from me again I’ll break three of your fingers.”

A little specific, but the threat certainly does the job.

“Okay. I’m… sorry.” You’re not.

Finally, he pulls away, eyes still trained on your face.

“Go to sleep.”

You don’t. You’re certain that you can’t, at least not for tonight. Especially not after hearing him turn the shower on, and after he’s done leave the room once more.

Instead, you sit and stare at the ceiling, and wonder if any of those in the basement will even have three fingers left of them, by the time he’s done.

[srslyblvck]

it's okay, tony stark

pairing: tony stark x teen!reader

synopsis: you get dusted after thanos' snap

genre: angst

word count: 0.9k

author's note: did i cry while writing this? yes i did

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ THE WORLD HAD NEVER felt so quiet.

It was a strange, suffocating silence that pressed down on Tony Stark as the battlefield stretched out before him, reduced to rubble, ash, and despair. The wind carried nothing but dust, and in that dust, he could see the remnants of everyone he had fought so hard to save.

He stood there, frozen, as Peter crumbled in his arms.

"Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good," Peter had whispered, fear etched into every syllable. Tony had held him tighter, hoping to keep him here, hoping that somehow, this wasn’t real. But Peter’s body had turned to dust in his hands, slipping away, just like everything else in Tony’s life.

Now, Tony was left holding nothing, his mind still screaming, No, not him. Not Peter.

But it wasn’t just Peter.

From the corner of his eye, Tony saw you—stumbling, your legs shaky, like the very earth beneath you had begun to give way. His heart clenched, a sickening panic rising in his chest.

"Kid," Tony rasped, rushing to you. He dropped to his knees just in time to catch you before you fell. His hands clutched your arms, and then pulled you into his chest, holding you close. "No, not you too. Not you. Please."

You were his family, the one he'd found when the world had been just as dark as it felt now. He remembered that day so clearly—stumbling upon a Hydra base, expecting only weapons or enemies, but finding you. A scared seven-year-old, huddled inside a small cabinet, shaking uncontrollably, clutching a teddy bear that was too worn to offer any comfort. You had flinched when he tried to reach for you, pushing yourself deeper into that small space, as if the shadows could protect you.

"It's okay," he had whispered back then, voice gentle, soft, as if speaking too loudly would break you. It had taken time—God, so much time—but you'd eventually come out, and Tony had made a silent promise. He would protect you, no matter what.

But now, he was failing. Again.

Tony felt your body tremble against him as you fought to stay, to hold on. But you couldn't. He saw it in your eyes, the same way he'd seen it in Peter's just moments before. He couldn't lose you. Not you. Not the kid he raised, mentored, cared for more than he ever let on.

You looked up at him, your face pale, your breaths shaky, and tears welled up in your eyes—tears that you were desperately trying to hold back. Tony knew you didn’t want him to see you break. You didn’t want him to see the fear, because if you broke, then Tony would break too. And he couldn’t. He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.

You offered him a small, fragile smile. A smile meant to comfort him, even though you were the one slipping away. "It's gonna be okay," you whispered, your voice barely a breath. "You’ll find a way... I know you will."

Tony shook his head, his voice cracking as he mumbled, "No, no, no, don't... don't do this." He held you tighter, like somehow holding on would keep you here. "You're gonna be fine. I’ll fix this. I’ll fix everything, just—please." His voice broke into sobs that he couldn’t control.

You lifted a trembling hand to his cheek, wiping away a tear. Your smile faltered, but it didn’t fall. "Tony... it’s okay," you whispered.

You reached up, your hand shaking, and touched his face. Tony’s breath caught in his throat as he felt the warmth of your skin, the way your fingers trembled as if even that small movement was too much.

Tony shook his head violently, his throat burning as he held back the sobs that threatened to tear out of him. "No, don’t... don’t say that. You’re gonna be fine, you hear me? You have to be fine."

But even as he said it, he felt you slipping away. The trembling in your body started to ease, but not because you were calming down. It was because you were fading.

The tears welled in your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You didn’t want to cry. You didn’t want to make this harder for him. But Tony could see the truth—you were scared. You didn’t want to die.

You took one last shaky breath, your hand dropping from his face as your body began to dissolve, turning into dust that slipped through Tony’s fingers.

"Please," Tony begged, his voice raw, broken. "Please, don’t go."

But it was too late. You were already gone.

Tony knelt there, in the ruins of the world, staring at the empty space where you had been just moments before. His mind was spinning, his heart torn apart by the loss. First Peter. Now you. The two kids who had given him hope, the ones he’d sworn to protect, were gone. And he had failed.

He pressed his hands to the ground where you had been, his body shaking uncontrollably. The battlefield was quiet again, but this time it was unbearable. It was the silence of everything he had lost, everything he could never fix.

Tony could still hear your voice in his head, the last words you had spoken to him echoing in the hollow space of his heart.

"It’s okay."

But it wasn’t. None of this was okay. You were gone, and he couldn't protect you. He couldn’t stop this, and now you—his kid—were nothing but ash scattered in the wind. The weight of it all—the failures, the loss, the utter powerlessness—was crushing.

Tony buried his face in his hands, shaking uncontrollably. The tears wouldn’t stop, not now. Not when the one person who trusted him, believed in him, was gone.

All those years ago, you had been a broken, terrified child hiding in a cabinet, and Tony had promised to keep you safe. He had failed.

And this time, there was no fixing it.

[fantasydreamland]

My Saviour

jon snow x fem reader

Summary: After escaping a wildling raid you find yourself being chased by a hungry wolf until a man of the Nights Watch rescues you. Your first night sleeping at castle black has you shivering to the bone until you seek warmth in your rescuer.

Notes: 18+ ONLY!!! some violence in opening story, smut, loss of virginity, p in v, fluff, some spoilers

word count: 3004

masterlist

You just barely escaped your village being raided by wildlings. You saw some others escape in the opposite direction while everyone else was slaughtered like animals. You sprinted as fast as you could into the woods after seeing your family killed before your eyes.

Once you managed to get far enough away to catch your breath you stop behind a tree, panting onto your frozen hands. A twig snaps and your eyes dart up to meet a pair of vicious golden eyes through the thick snow watching you from another nearby tree. The wolf growls and before you have time to think it sprints towards you. You let out an unintentional scream and bolt in the other direction trying to twist and turn through trees to throw it off your path.

Frozen tears run down your face and your skin screams from the frost bite as you run for your life. Eventually you are led to a small frozen river. You carefully step a foot onto the ice and it lightly cracks. You quickly remove your foot until you see the wolf turn from behind a tree and spot you. You hold your breath and quickly tiptoe along the cracking ice. The wolf chases after you but then stops dead at the edge of the ice as if it knows the danger.

Halfway to the other side of the lake you slip and smash into the ice scraping open your exposed skin and causing the ice to form a much larger crack. You freeze in horror as you watch the loud crack slowly expand.

“Here! Quickly!” You hear a man’s voice shout to you. He spots the wolf on the other side as it turns around and leaves.

You look up to see a very handsome man in all black jumping off of his horse and pulling off his large fur cloak. He throws one end of the cloak towards you to grab onto. You grab it tightly as he slowly pulls you towards him. Your mind was in such a state of shock you no longer felt the ice nipping at your skin as you slid against it.

You began to shuffle closer and the ice let out another loud crack.

“Careful.” The man’s wide eyes met yours, he looked nearly as scared as you. “Remain still, just let me pull you.”

You nodded and put your full trust in this total stranger as he carefully pulled you off the ice and lifted you to stand. You instantly begin to fall over, your frozen bones not able to hold you up any longer.

“Gods, you’re frozen.” the man says as he wraps the cloak around you and rubs your arms to try and warm you.

“Do you think you can get up?” He says gesturing his head to his horse.

You nod, unable to speak through the shivering. He puts a hand on your back as you put your foot through the stirrup. His strong hands grab your sides and lift you up onto the horse. He quickly gets on behind you. You sigh as his warmth radiates against your back, you couldn’t help but press into him.

His arms remain tightly around you as he rode quickly. To where? You didn’t know. But the man just saved your life, you couldn’t help but trust him.

“Thank you.” You choked out in a breathy whisper.

“Shh,” he said as his arms squeezed you tighter. “You’re safe now.”

**********

You barely remember the rest of the ride as you drift in and out of consciousness.

“Rider!” You heard a man yell far in the distance.

A loud horn blows and you open your eyes again. Your blurry vision adjusts to a giant wall of ice. The wall. This was Castle Black and this was a man of the Nights Watch. You felt slightly relieved as they’ve been known to protect the people against wildlings.

The large dark door began to creek open slowly. Finally, it loudly came to a halt and he rode in.

Your mind was too hazy to comprehend your surroundings. You could barely see the blurry visions of men dressed in all black through the snow. Soon you began to drift off again.

“Who is this?” You heard a man say.

“I don’t know. I heard a scream then I found her being chased by a wolf.” Your rescuers voice radiated against you as he held you in his arms. You couldn’t even remember him taking you off the horse. “She’s frozen half to death.”

“Bring her inside.” The other man said.

**********

The next time you awoke you felt much warmer. You open your eyes to see yourself in a bed of furs in a small dark room with a warm fire going. You look to your side to see the man watching you from a chair. He flinches when you make eye contact with him.

“I- I’m sorry I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He says shyly. You give him a soft smile.

“Thank you.” You say quietly.

He nods. “Are… are you alright?”

“I think so…” you say unsure.

“Well, there’s a warm bath and fresh clothing waiting for you.” He gestures to a tub in the corner.

You sit up and hiss in pain. You suddenly became more awake and aware of the pain radiating throughout your entire body. The man jumps out of his chair to help you out of the bed.

“Thank you again, sir.”

“Jon,” he says. “Jon Snow.”

“Jon.” You smile at him as you take his hand. “I’m (y/n).”

He gives you a sweet smile. He helps you up and leads you to the tub.

“I’ll give you some privacy.”

“Could you…” you quickly say. “I don’t know if I can do this on my own right now…”

“Oh, um, yes. I can- I can help you, if you want.” He says timidly.

You nod and turn your back as he comes closer to you. He unties the strings of your tattered dress and his fingers brush against your skin causing electricity. He turns his gaze away as you slowly pull your dress off your body, leaving you fully exposed. Your heart races as he lends you his hand to hold while you step into the tub. Heat rises in his cheeks and it takes all his will power to not stare at your naked body.

Your weak arms shake as you lower yourself into the warm water. Your hand grasps on the edge of the tub as your other squeezes tightly onto Jon’s. The warm water soothes and stings your skin at the same time. You lean forward so all he can see is your bare back which was covered with cuts and bruises.

The air is tense as you both move in silence. He sits down on the stool beside the tub. He grabs a sponge and soaks it in the water before lightly wiping your back. You hiss and quickly he pulls away.

“It’s ok.” Your eyes meet his with a soft look.

He nods as he continues to gently wipe the dried blood from your skin. The tenderness of his touch makes you sigh. When he’s finished he grabs a small pale beside the tub and scoops up some water.

“Lean your head back a little.” He says almost in a whisper.

You do as he says and lean your head back. You close your eyes as he pours water over your hair. You sigh and lean more into his touch as his fingers work through your hair. The new angle giving him a slight view of your exposed breasts makes him nearly choke on air.

You turn your head and look into his eyes as he gently wipes the remaining blood from your face. The world felt still as you gazed at each other. Staring deep into each others eyes felt like you had known one another for a lifetime. He softly wipes the blood from your lip and couldn’t help but think of what it would be like to kiss them. He thought you were the most beautiful and intriguing woman he had ever seen.

“What happened?” He breaks the tense silence.

“Wildlings raided my village…” you said quietly, turning away and looking down into the water. “I barely escaped. I was running from them then suddenly I was running from a wolf chasing me… I don’t know how I’m still alive right now.”

“Did anyone else get away?” He asked.

You met his eyes. “Some. I saw people escaping the other direction.”

He nods, a sad expression on his face. “And your family?”

You shook your head looking back down.

“They could have escaped…” he says reassuringly.

“No.” You said flatly. “I saw the savages kill them.”

“I’m sorry.” He said lightly brushing your shoulder. Your breath catches at the touch.

Jon grabs you fresh robes and sets them on the stool before turning to help you up. You take both his hands as he lifts you from the water. The candle light illuminating your naked frame. He can’t help but glance at your wet body before meeting your eyes again, making you blush. He awkwardly looks to the side with red cheeks as you step out of the tub holding onto his hands. He passes you the robes to put on and steals one last glance of you from the corner of his eye.

“I’ll be in the room right next door if you need anything.” He says shyly.

“Thank you, Jon.” You stand near the bed as he heads towards the door.

“Goodnight (y/n).”

“Goodnight.” You say as he leaves the room and you crawl into bed.

**********

You wake in the middle of the night shivering. The fire was dull and the warm room turned cold. The wind whistled loudly from a storm raging outside. After trying hard to fall back asleep you give up and get up from bed, wrapping one of the furs around you.

You sneak out the door and into Jon’s room. Your heart stops and you gasp as your eyes connect with the red eyed white wolf laying next to Jon’s bed. You stumble back and bump into a table causing a clatter that wakes Jon.

“(y/n)?” Jon says hazily as he wakes up. He notices your terrified expression toward the wolf.

He gets out of bed revealing his exposed upper half which manages to distract your thoughts for a moment before you turn back to the wolf who was still laying down leisurely.

“I promise he won’t harm you. He’s not wild, I’ve had him since he was a pup.” He walks towards you and turns to the wolf. “Ghost, come.”

The wolf stands and slowly walks over causing you to stumble backwards again.

“Shh it’s ok, I promise. Here…” he says taking your hand.

You timidly move your hand with his towards the wolf. You held your breath as he sniffed your hand then gave you a small lick. Jon lets go of your hand as you continue to pet Ghost, all the fear easing away.

“He likes you.” Jon smiles.

You smile and stand as Jon opens the door for Ghost to leave. “Wait outside boy.”

He turns back to you, rubbing his bare arms as he starts to adjust from being out of his warm bed.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, slightly shivering.

“No, I just can’t sleep.” You say as you begin to shiver again too.

“The nights can get very cold here.” He says, noticing your obvious shivering. “We can share the bed… if you want.”

You looked at him for a moment and didn’t respond before walking past him toward the bed and slowly crawling under the furs. Your eyes met his and he followed as he also climbed under. The shivering did not stop and eventually your teeth began to chatter.

“Come here,” Jon said pulling you closer.

You let him pull you into his arms until he was cuddling you close. Your heart raced and you swear you could feel his racing against your back.

“I’m not hurting you am I?” He suddenly asks, remembering your injuries.

“Not at all.” You whisper back.

The room is still cold but the warmth of him behind you soothes some of the shivering. You shuffle closer into him but then freeze as you felt something hard pressed against you. You knew he noticed your reaction as you felt him also tense.

Your breath quickened and you didn’t know what to do. After a moment, you took a deep breath and relaxed against him. You feel him relax his arms before hugging you tighter. Although you managed to relax your body you were still filled with nerves. Pushing your fear away you boldly press yourself against him again, this time clearly intentional. Jon groans in your ear and pushes his member harder into your backside.

“Jon…” you breathe as he slowly begins kissing your neck while you grind against him.

You turn around to face him and your eyes meet full of bewilderment and lust. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you hard. His tongue demands entrance to your mouth and you happily oblige. He kisses you like it’s the last kiss he’ll ever have.

You pull him closer against you before your hand moves from his waist trailing down his torso. He gasps into the kiss as you lightly grab his hard member over his trousers. You reach for the strings of his pants but he quickly grabs your hand to stop you.

“I can’t…” Jon says with a pained look on his face, clearly not wanting to stop.

“Why not?” You whisper.

“I- I swore a vow. As a man of the Nights Watch.”

“Oh… They make you swear not to lay with a woman?”

“Something like that… we swear to never marry or father children.”

“So… you do not actually swear off of… sex.”

“Well I- Yeah… I guess not…” Jon furrows his brows at the realization.

Without another word he throws caution to the wind and reaches between you to pull the ties of your robe before pushing it off your shoulders. He grabs your breast and leans forward to put the other in his mouth making you let out a quiet moan. His lips make their way up your collarbone to your neck until they land back on your lips. His hand begins to explore your body until his fingers lightly brush against your most sensitive area causing you to gasp and break the kiss.

“Jon…” You sigh, “I have never…”

“Me neither…” he whispers back.

You smile and lean over to capture his lips again. This time he lets you pull the strings of his pants before he pulls them fully off. You barely get a glimpse of his lower half before he’s on top of you littering kisses all along your jaw and neck.

“Are you sure?” He whispers as you feel him rubbing his length against you.

The feeling makes your brain fuzzy and you quickly nod staring deep into his eyes.

“It is going to hurt… at first.” He says.

You nod again and he pushes into you making your jaw drop and your face scrunch in pain as you grab hard onto his biceps. He stops but you pull him closer signaling to keep going and you hear a low groan escape him as he pushes through. Once he’s fully inside you he stills. You pant through the pain as you adjust to him. He waits not just for your sake, but with the way you squeezed so tightly around him he was already struggling to not lose control and finish before this has even begun.

After another moment he begins to move slowly as your foreheads are pressed together. You breathe through the pain as it starts to fade. Your pained expression soon turns into pleasure and you’re suddenly desperate for more of him.

“Jon please… faster.” You whisper to him.

Without another word he starts thrusting faster into you until your moans begin to fill the room. He kisses you hard in a failed attempt to keep you quiet.

“Shh.” He smirks down at you, slowing his pace. “You are going to wake everyone up.”

“Sorry…” you whisper and giggle.

His speed picks up again and you bite your lip to hold try and hold back your loud moans. Your hands tangle into his curls and tug hard. He groans in your ear and gently bites your neck in response then kisses the tender spot. It becomes harder and harder to keep quiet as he slams into you harder and harder. You bite down on your lip so hard you thought it might bleed again. You gasp his name as the pressure in your belly builds. Every cell in your body ignites and you begin to see stars. Suddenly everything snaps and he quickly covers your mouth as you scream out. His thrusts become more sloppy as he quickly reaches his own peak and pulls out. He can’t stop himself from grunting loudly as he spills himself onto your stomach. In that moment his mind was so blurred by the feeling of you he completely forgot where he was. You nearly faint at the gorgeous sight of him above you as he came.

He crashes down beside you and reaches for a cloth before cleaning you up.

“You are going to wake everyone up...” You tease.

He chuckles, “I would be very surprised if we did not.”

“Well… at least I am no longer cold.” You give a shy smirk.

He smiles and kisses your temple before pulling you in close so you’re laying on his chest. You would face your problems in the morning. Right now you just savor the feeling of your saviours strong arms wrapped around you and his heart beating against your ear as you both drift off to sleep.

[farfromstrange]

Fictober Day 19: Nightmares

Fictober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Prompt: Nightmares (🌼)

Summary: Matt has a nightmare. Again.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, nightmares, mentions of violence, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1.2k

A/n: This is more of a Whumptober thing than Flufftober because it turned out angstier than planned. It still has the comfort elements though, and Matt finally gets a hug.

Read Me On AO3! (I'll be cross-posting when I have time, so you'll only be getting the Tumblr version until I can get around to it)

The bedroom is hulled in darkness. Hell’s Kitchen is never really silent, but this late at night it is a little more bearable.

Matt came home only a few hours ago, covered in cuts and bruises that almost gave you a heart attack. He makes you a light sleeper because even when he’s safe and sound in bed next to you, you’re worried about him. 

Day and night—every second of every day you are in a constant state of concern. You know how he gets. He seeks out trouble for the sake of the greater good, and he would jump in front of a buttle, too, if it meant protecting the innocent. You’ve almost lost him more times than you can count, so even when he tells you he is okay, you can’t stop; you can’t stop worrying about him because he is all you have. 

When the bed creaks and a soft moan breaks the tranquility in the room, your eyes flutter open. You turn to look at the man beside you, though instead of finding him peacefully asleep, Matt is drenched in sweat, chest heaving with labored breaths as he writhes in the sheets, and his cries of agony wrap an iron fist around your heart.

It happens a lot more than he likes to admit—the nightmares. When the world gets quiet and the thoughts can roam freely in his mind, trying to find something, anything, to tear him down, that is when they come. The vultures find him in his most vulnerable moments, and then they feast. 

He doesn’t like talking about them because he doesn’t see his dreams. Sometimes, flashes of memories turn into a mess of unintelligible sounds, and he feels like he’s on fire. Other times, his worst fears wrap a noose around his neck as though they are reality.

He dreams of losing you. He dreams of the coppery scent of your blood, feeling it stick to his hands as your heartbeat slips through his fingers like quicksand. He dreams of his dad dying, of his friends leaving, and of the wrath of God every time he feels to save someone. When he dreams, it almost always turns into a nightmare, and you feel so fucking useless every time.

You reach out for his clammy shoulders, trying to soothe him back to sleep, but the second you touch him, he jolts awake with a shout.

Matt doesn’t know it’s you. A cloud has engulfed him, tuning out everything beyond his own erratic heartbeat. He can still hear your screams echoing in his ear. So loud. So terrified. So dead. 

They got to you, grabby hands determined to take you from him. When you touch him, all he can think about are the hands of the men who took you from him or the pain that spread through his chest like wildfire when your heartbeat disappeared into the void, and they laughed. 

They laughed at him. They laughed at you. Because one day, he will be the death of you. 

“Matt!” you call out. “Matt, listen to me. You’re safe. It was just a dream, baby. Listen to me!”  

Your voice cracks as your pleas fall on deaf ears. You know better than to touch him, but tears are spilling down his cheeks and he’s grunting, and you just can’t help yourself. You want to make it all better. You want to fix him. 

The second you brush his skin again, his nervous system reacts, though not in the way you expected him to. 

His arms fling out, suddenly and aimlessly, catching your wrist in a grip far tighter than he means. And it hurts. You don’t want to, but your first instinct is to wince in pain. He’s a strong, strong man. 

“Matt!” you shout. “Matt, stop! I need you to wake up.”

You’re not scared of him—you know he’d never hurt you. He doesn’t know it’s you right now, and you know that. This isn’t the first time he has lunged forward. This isn’t the first time he has thrown his arms around and accidentally hurt you. But the last time he did, the guilt almost killed him. If he thinks he hurt you again, God knows what will happen, and you can’t lose him. You can’t lose the man you love just because he thinks he is a danger to you.

You love him, nightmares and all. He needs you.

You throw your free hand up, reaching for his own. “It’s me! It’s me. Feel my heartbeat,” you insist. “I’m right here.”

For a second, his body goes rigid, muscles tensed, fist raised like he’s about to strike, but then he feels the steady thud, thud, thud of your heart in your chest, a sound so unique he could make it out in a crowd of millions, and his fist falters. 

He stops fighting. 

You press his hand over your heart, leaving no room for escape. “That’s me,” you whisper. “I’m okay. I’m right here.”

You’re alive.

For a split second, it’s like he can’t understand. He doesn’t want to understand because how the hell can your heart be beating when you just died? How can you be alive when he felt you slipping away from him? 

His brows furrow and his fingers tremble against your skin. He’s still breathing hard, but slowly, painfully slowly, he begins to come out of the fog. 

For a long moment, all he does is breathe—uneven, ragged breaths. It hurts you more than anything to see him like this, disoriented and terrified because he just doesn’t understand. 

His head dips forward against your collarbone. You feel him clutch at you, hands grasping your shirt as if he’s afraid that if he lets go, you’ll disappear again.

“I’m sorry…” His voice is barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh.” You have to try hard not to cry. “It’s okay.”

“I hurt you. I–”

“No,” you cut him off. “You were just looking for me. I’m okay, I promise.”

A sob tears through him.��

“You’re okay. Come here. Listen.” You guide his head to your chest, resting his ear right above your heart where his hand remains, unable to move. 

“Listen,” you repeat. 

Matt’s eyes flutter. A singular tear travels from his lash line down his reddened cheek, staining the front of your shirt. You smell like him, but you feel like yourself.

“My heart is beating. I’m alive. I’m okay. It was just a bad dream. None of it was real or is ever going to become real,” you say.

He shudders. What if it does become real? What if he does lose you and all of this is just a cruel form of foreshadowing God put in his path?

Good Lord, he can’t think about that.

Your heart continues to dance to its most familiar rhythm, and he focuses on that. He focuses on you and the way you’re holding him or he’s sure he might lose his mind. Tonight was a bad one—a really bad one.

He’s not sure if he feels more guilty for waking you after disturbing your sleep once before, or that your wrist seems to be pulsating from the force he put around it. He didn’t mean to, but he hurt you.

You’re alive, he keeps telling himself. It was just a dream.

But he hurt you.

You cradle him against you. “Stop,” you say as if you can read his mind. “It’s not your fault.”

The guilt is too much for one man to carry, that much is true, but when he’s in your arms like this, it gets a little easier. Just for a little while, it gets easier.

He doesn’t have to carry it alone. He doesn’t have to fight the demons alone. He is not alone.

No matter what Matt Murdock does, you have vowed a long time ago not to give up on him. So, you stay, and you will continue to stay until you both die. And that, you hope, is a day still far, far in the future.

@ebathory997 @the-b33skn33s @scoliobean @drmeghanjones @lanae111 @gpenguin666 @linamarr @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @thatonegamefish @amberritonicole @pigeonmama @bohemianrhapsody86 @a-gir1-has-n0-name @winkev1 @callsign-ember @chittaphonstar @buckyyyismahhlife @trublu2u @xnatyx @zomtart @ethereal-blaze @littleagxs @ravenclaw617 @lucienofthelakes @steve-chandler

[giorno-plays-piano]

Favors and Debts

Part I

Pairing: fae!Yuji/Sukuna x reader

Warnings: noncon, yandere, murder, captivity, stalking, violence (not towards reader), Sukuna having a purity kink.

Words: 1.6k

Summary: Of all creatures fickle and cruel, the fair folk are the ones inspiring fear and awe alike. You were unlucky enough to save one of them from captivity, and now you must pay for it.

________________

"Please, leave me be," your whisper is so quiet you barely hear yourself speak, but it's enough for the monster to bare his teeth at you in a smile.

"No," he says simply and then charges at you like a wild animal, forcing a scream out of your throat as you run and run and run until you are facing a dead wall blocking your path.

His sharp smile grows wider the closer he steps to you.

Then you wake up with a gasp, face wet with tears and cold sweat as you clench the sheets in your fingers, choking from horror. It's him again. The fae boy you saved years ago, the one who pays you back with fear and pain and nightmares. He doesn't visit you every night, not when you keep taking your sleeping pills religiously, but they are a serious thing, and your stomach keeps hurting more and more over the years, forcing you to take lesser doses. That's when the fae boy strikes, slipping into your dreams like water seeps through a crack of an old, chipped cup.

It's the same dream over and over again: he chases you down the city as you run for your life like a prey followed by predator, blinded by fear while he taunts you, his six long, muscular arms nearly catching you every time. It feels like every night he allows you to escape, but you don't think it's entirely true. Your iron and your mirrors must be keeping you safe: after all this time, he hadn't come for you yet.

You were young back then, so naive, so pure. You finally received a long-awaited recommendation letter from the head pharmacist to be allowed to work in a tiny village down south, nearly at the Drowned Forest border. You were, by far, not a superstitious girl, and the rumors didn't scare you. You were, though, quite worried about being among the simple, rural folk who weren't keen on trusting a young city girl with making their medication: truth be told, women in those places had only ever had one purpose in life, and it had nothing to do with a medical career or any career at all.

And yet, you were welcomed to the place. The villagers were desperate since it took at least several days to drive to the closes town to procure the medication of any serious kind, and they were in great need of someone who'd serve as a doctor and a pharmacist, even if it was just a young girl who had only gotten her recommendation letter.

But it was an unfriendly, cold, half-abandonded sort of place. Likewise, you didn't like its people who were always too crude, too vulgar to your taste, their gazes always lingering too long on you when they thought you didn't see, and you could barely stand the almost-casual touches of men who seemed to think you couldn't see beneath their polite facade. "They're simple folk," the head pharmacist would say, shaking his head after you pleaded with him to give you a letter of recommendation. "You won't appreciate their way of life, and you don't have to. Why do you want to go there so badly if you can continue working as my junior pharmacist? You can make a name for yourself here."

You were stupid back then. You wanted to prove yourself so desperately you thought nothing of his gentle warning, rushing headlong in what you thought your first grown-up adventure that turned out to be a nightmare haunting you to this day.

At first, despite your unease towards the village folk, it all was new and exciting. You were the head pharmacist! The only one for miles and miles. People spoke about you with respect, or so you thought. You were crafting medication day and night, and nearly everyone was coming to your door religiously every couple of days. You enjoyed the welcomed weight of responsibility on your shoulders.

It wasn't until a month passed that the villagers finally let you meet a scrawny pink-haired kid by the name of Yuji, who was some sort of an apprentice. Whose apprentice was he? The men all laughed when you asked them, looking smug as they claimed he was apprenticing for every master in the village.

What an odd thing to say, you thought, furrowing your brows. How could one boy be an apprentice to all of them?

Of course, he wasn't. He was a fae boy they have somehow captured and kept prisoner, making him do all sorts of manual labor because they knew his true name.

At first, you thought it was nothing but a shameful lie to keep a fatherless young man chained to his captors to make their bidding. Yuji was just a boy. He was young and smiley and helpful despite the abuse he had to endure every day, the villagers giving him the thoughest jobs under the pretense of his immense fairy powers. Where was he from? Why had no one tried to stop people from treating him so unfairly? He wasn't a caged animal. Yuji was a human being.

But then the blacksmith once handed him an iron girdle, a wicked smirk on his lips, and you saw the horror and pain reflected on Yuji's face when his fingers touched the metal, his palm immediately growing red as if the iron was still hot. He wailed, dropping the girdle on the ground while the blacksmith laughed at him like it was a joke of some kind, and you, caught off guard by such casual display of cruelty, ran to the boy to have a look at his injured hand.

He was, indeed, a fae. The iron to him was alike acid to humans, burning his flesh at the slightest touch.

The discovery shook you to the core, at one point making you question your sanity, but in that moment you were so preoccupied with the boy's injury you were more focused on helping him alleviate the pain and bandage his poor hand than worry about his fairy nature. Regardless of what villagers said, Yuji was gentle and proper. He didn't deserve such horrible treatment.

With every day, you grew more and more anxious, watching him casually bullied and hurt by the village folk for their own amusement. They made him touch iron, look into the mirrors that somehow brought him immense pain, forced him to work till sunset and even at night, and refused him food from to time. It was unbearable to watch a young boy being treated that way. It was no wonder you developed so much compassion and pity for him, soon sneaking in the hovel where he was allowed to sleep to feed him or bring him medication for his injuries. He was such a lovely boy, so bright and kind and sensitive, that it took you just a couple more weeks to agree to his plea to help him get out of this wicked place.

How could you have known of his true nature? You were but a naive, pure young girl. It was a given you were easy to manipulate, to be taken advantage of. A disaster waiting to happen.

You didn't even believe in the fair folk when you had first arrived in that god-forsaked village, but in a couple of months you took up on a quest to find another fae in the Drowned Forest and bring him to Yuji to set him free. When you think of it now, it's such a miracle you stayed alive. Walking straight into the Drowned Forest... what were you thinking back then? How could you be so stupid? That journey could have cost you your life, but you grew too desperate to protect Yuji against villagers' abuse.

Back then, you weren't sure how you stumbled upon another fae so fast, barely minutes into the charmed forest, but now you know he had been waiting for you. Yuji was biding his time because he knew one day a girl like you would appear and do what she could to free him. He was well-prepared, and you were eager to be deceived.

You didn't know what to expect from that exciting but inherently dangerous affair, and yet you didn't think the fae to just slaughter them all, all the human folk of the village. You heard them scream. Luckily, Yuji locked you in the barn where he used to sleep, and you avoided looking at the bloodshed, but their desperate, horryfying cries have been your constant companions for many years to come. You still hear them sometimes when you sleep.

When the menacing black-haired fae from the Drowned Forest grew in size, the marks on his forehead shining in the dark, claws elongating meyond measure, Yuji forced you into his barn, his usually gentle expression morphing into something sinister. He looked at you with mad glee, his fangs elongating, two arms splitting into six like he was mutating right in front of your very eyes, and as you crawled back, suddenly realizing the villagers were right about him, he cornered you, caging you with his large, muscular body, strange symbols engraved into his skin.

"A woman like you captured me," he whispered softly as you shook violently beneath him. "She was a clever little fox, and I lusted after her like a fool, letting her trick me into submission. All those years I spent like a dog on a chain... But I knew a woman like her would set me free."

________

His hand brushed a lock of your hair away from your face, and with the other one he took you by the chin, forcing you to look up at him, "Seven years I've waited in my cage, little bird. Seven years I'll give you to live your mundane life before I come for you."

Part II

Tags: @minshookie29

[loveliest-venus]

bittersweet - straw hats crew x reader

includes: Straw Hats crew x f!reader warnings: major character death summary: In your last moments, your crewmates reflect on their time with you before saying goodbye. content: angst, slight fluff, can be read as romantic or platonic, no spoilers, 1.5k words.

Dying was never part of the plan.

Then again, none of this was ever part of the plan, from getting experimented on to meeting a rowdy pirate crew that called themselves the Straw Hats to end up joining them, thus starting what would be the biggest adventure of your whole life. Of course, you regretted it from time to time, it was a wonder how this wasn’t one of those times.

Well, maybe a little bit. You didn’t like seeing tears further dirtying Luffy’s face. It didn’t suit him, you weren’t used to seeing him with anything but a huge smile on his face, the smile that gave you hope despite everything. Your ears were still ringing but you thought you could vaguely hear Nami’s cries, or were they Chopper’s? It was hard to say, the poison had spread fast and you were certain that the blurriness in your vision wasn’t because of tears, as your eyes were dry and bloodshot, most likely from the toxins pumping through your veins, making each breath just a little more painful and… Was it just you or was Zoro screaming? You honestly couldn’t tell anymore. Your eyes closed as your body fell forward, stopping as Luffy’s arms wrapped around your torso to hold you up, making your chin rest on his shoulder.

“Hang on!” Your captain called your name hoarsely, snapping his head to the side, desperate yells piercing through the air as Chopper clumsily dashed over to where you were, slumped over Luffy’s shaking form. “Chopper!”

“D-Don’t worry, I will save her!” Chopper’s fur was wet, snot and salty water mixing as he cried, his voice cracking at the vowels of your name while his arms reached out to help stabilize you. It hurt your heart to see them so distraught and you hated that there was nothing you could do to comfort them.

“Chopper… Stop.” Both of them froze, Luffy’s body growing stiff against your clammy skin. “It’s okay… I’m not scared,” the words tasted bitter in your mouth, in contrast to the serene look on your worn-out features. Blood was trickling down your forehead, hanging on your eyelashes and joining the tiny trail spilling from the corners of your lips. “I’m happy to die… for my crew.” You meant it, your heart had never felt lighter.

“Oi! What the fuck are you going on about?! You can’t just–!” Zoro’s voice was unmistakable, rough like the numerous knives on your body. From the looks of it, your peaceful declaration hadn’t settled well with him. You wished you could meet his gaze one last time, blissfully unaware of the milky sheen on yours. It was then that Chopper realized, with a heartbroken sob, that it was truly too late. “Chopper, do something! Hurry up!”

“Moss-head…” Zoro’s earrings jingled when he turned to look at Sanji, ready to cuss him out until he saw the look on his face, somber and pleading. It dawned on him that the cook had already begrudgingly accepted that this was it. But the swordsman wasn’t known for admitting defeat that easily, if ever.

“Save it, you damn– ,” he was cut off when a pale, delicate hand landed on his broad shoulder, Robin’s lips set in a thin line, the only thing betraying her true feelings was the tight grip she had on him.

“Zoro.” Her eyes were fixated on your battered form, her brow furrowing at your labored breathing. “This isn’t the time. She’s too far gone.” It was Franky’s turn to lose composure, aggressively kicking away the remnants of what had once been a beautiful tree. Taking away the destroyed flora, the unconscious enemies around you and your own blood splattering the ground, this could’ve been called a scenic place to die.

“B-B-But Chopper can fix her up! He always can! R-Right, Chopper?! Tell Robin that she’s wrong!” Usopp’s arms were tightly wound around Nami, both of their eyes growing misty, holding each other up in a fruitless attempt to hold it together. At the archeologist’s soft murmur of your name, their hopes were shattered, Nami’s knees buckling under the weight of her grief, almost taking Usopp with her, forcing him to stand up straighter than before, for once staring at death right in the eye. If only it wasn’t your bloodied face staring back…

Brook remained silent, for once devoid of all joy. It was happening again, someone he held dear was being taken away from him all too soon, your life cut short at the capricious hands of fate. Jinbei had a similar expression on his face, choosing to honor your wishes as you clearly didn’t want to leave them without a proper goodbye.

“Why…?” Luffy, who hadn’t stopped crying, tried shaking you as if that would rip you out of your dazed state, your hair tickling his cheek as you didn’t have enough strength to lift your head up to look at him properly. “Why did you do it?!” He kept yelling your name, now crushing you against his scarred chest, refusing to let you go. “You can’t leave us!” A choked sob rocked his body, a shiver running down your spine at the sheer pain lacing his youthful voice.

Chopper was clinging to your leg, burying his face in your calf to hide his swollen eyes. “I’m sorry, I-I’m so sorry! Please…” The mink was talking to himself at this point, stuck between begging whatever deity was listening and apologizing to you for not getting to you in time, for not being smart enough to find a cure. Zoro’s grip on the hilt of his sword tightened, loathing the helplessness wrapping around their group viciously, refusing to look away from you, still being held up by the devil fruit user’s embrace. His heart was fighting tooth and nail to keep itself from breaking, minuscule cracks growing the heavier your eyes got. Unbeknownst to him, there was already a scar in the shape of you.

Sanji gritted his teeth, taking a few steps in your direction, blinking away the moisture building up in his lash line, he didn’t want to miss any detail in your face, knowing it was the last time he’d ever get to admire it. In his eyes, you were as beautiful as ever, not even death could take your beauty away from you. Nothing would convince him otherwise.

Their allies could only watch, growing restless as the silence continued, were you gone already? None of them were close enough to see your face clearly, your crewmates had formed a circle around you, protecting you from unwanted eyes. Each of them had different opinions on your rambunctious group, however, none of them could deny that you were fiercely loyal to each other and seeing such a tight-knit crew lose a member was disheartening, a few of them inching closer to their own. It was an unspoken agreement, to pay their respects to the person who had given it her all to win this battle, saving them from a similar fate.

“Because… you called me your friend.”

Your soft voice cut through their thoughts seamlessly, a few gasps escaping from Nami, Usopp and Chopper. Zoro’s eye widened, almost losing his grip when the meaning behind that phrase registered in his brain; whereas Sanji chose to let his feelings take over, slowly sinking to his knees. Brook hung his head, and if he had eyes, he would’ve closed them, not wanting to witness the inevitable. Franky, on the other hand, kept his steely gaze on you, his fists growing tighter with each droplet of your blood that had touched the ground, none of this made any sense to the cyborg whose robotic body shook with the strength of his pained weeping. Your sweet words were like a knife to Jinbei’s kind heart, all of his memories with you as part of the crew playing like a cinematic sequence in his mind, you were one of the first to approach him when he had finally accepted Luffy’s invite. Robin could only smile, finally allowing her tears to drip down her face, wishing she could hold you for one last time. Life without you was unfathomable to them at this point, could this truly be reality? Wasn’t there any way to rewind time to save you?

None of them could see Luffy’s face, his reaction to you admitting that you were willingly exchanging your life for theirs in the name of your friendship. But it wasn’t hard to guess, seeing as he’d pressed his face into your neck, inhaling your scent to soothe his racing heart, torn to pieces by you and his inability to help you. He knew from the moment that he saw you that you would become an important part of his crew, however, he never imagined that it would end like this. He wasn’t ready to continue his journey without you. How could he become the King of the Pirates if you weren’t by his side?

“You truly are the best crew I could’ve asked for. I’m thankful for you… From the bottom of my heart, thank you.” Your eyes were fully closed, the corners of your lips curling up ever so slightly in a loving smile. It was a breathtaking image that would be branded into their hearts forever, sealed with your very last words to them.

“I love you.”

© 2020-2023 loveliest-venus — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do NOT repost, translate, modify, use for AI or claim my content as yours.

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Now Expanded on AO3 here

The bed is hard and cold, not anything he isn't used to, but uncomfortable all the same. Especially with the way his body aches right now.

He wasn't even supposed to be on the ground, running into burning buildings wasn't really his main job description anymore. It was just...

The woman was screaming for her cat. And Tommy loves cats, he has his own, Missy. She's probably wondering where daddy is right now.

Who is he kidding, she probably didn't even notice he left for work.

No one is probably noticing he's missing. He likes the people at harbor, his coworkers, but they aren't family like the 118, Evan has told him how half the station will be sitting bedside vigil when any of them get injured. It must be nice to have that. After his childhood, shipped from one foster home to another, kicked out at 18, a family like that is something he's always wanted; fuck he acted like an absolute asshole just to try to get the old 118 to like him.

He's just mulling over whether calling Eddie and asking him to pick him up whenever they discharge him is too much when he hears the squeak of sneakers on the hospital floor and glances towards the door.

In stumbles Evan, looking scared and adorable and making Tommy's heart beat so fast the monitor actually beeps a few times in warning.

"Tommy, hey, are you okay?" He says, scrambling towards him, dragging a chair over with a loud scrape that has Tommy wincing at the sound.

For a moment all he can do is stare over at this human ball of sunshine, something in his chest unknotting. Fuck he really didn't think anyone would come, how did he...

"I, I'm okay," he says, trying to put on a brave face for Evan. He's older, more experienced, he should try to be calm and not get emotional.

"You look like shit," Evan says in that earnest way he has, sitting there and taking Tommy's hand in his own. His thumb brushes over Tommy's bruised knuckles, his concerned expression staring straight into Tommy's soul.

"Oh..." he says as he feels something crack open in him. Because Evan is here, he's holding his hand, he's worried for him he... He wants to take care of him, its written all over that adorable face. And well, that's, its not really something Tommy ever has anymore. "I'll be okay," he amends, and his hand squeezes Evan's even if it hurts a little. "How did you even?"

"The hospital called me. Apparently I'm your emergency contact?" Evan asks, and there's confusion there, but also something that looks like that same giddy contentment that Evan gets whenever Tommy does something to make him happy.

Fuck. He forgot he'd done that. That looked crazy and desperate, they'd only been dating a couple months.

"Uh, yeah it was either you or Chimney," he said, and fuck if that didn't sound pathetic. It wasn't like he didn't have friends. He had a lot actually, but none that he trusted implicitly like that. To see him weak and vulnerable. Chimney had saved his life though, and Evan well...

Evan leans in and kisses him. "Well I'm glad you did because I might not have known otherwise. Chim is at work right now so."

They sit for a while, Him recounting how he saved the cat but got blasted out a first floor window by the explosion. There wasn't any serious damage but he hurt like shit and had a lot of bruises and scrapes.

"Would you want to, y'know, come home with me and I can take care of you? Or I can stay at your place," Evan asks and fuck, fuck he is Not going to cry, he is not that kind of guy. But then, before he can answer.

Eddie rounds the corner, followed closely by Chim and Hen. Eddie's in plain clothes but Hen and Chim look like they came directly from the station.

"Tommy, shit, you okay?" Eddie asks, and Hen and Chim are looking at his chart by the bed and this is. Its too much. Its exactly what he wanted but wasn't at all expecting.

"I'm," he starts, looking at Evan for a moment before deciding, "I feel about as bad as I look, yeah." Evan squeezes his hand and his heart starts racing again and the monitor is beeping a little and he feels a tear going down his cheek. Evan wipes the tear away and then they're all talking. About what happened as Evan explains it for him, about a call where Hen saved a dog a few months back, about whatever. And fuck if Tommy doesn't feel safe, feel like he belongs.

Later that night, laying in his own bed, Evan having dragged him onto his broad chest in the same way Tommy usually does to him, he starts to think he could get used to this. He really hopes he can keep Evan, keep all of this for himself. Missy curls at the foot of the bed and purrs and he thinks, yeah, I feel like purring in contentment too.

[sadjestergirll]

“EMOTIONAL WHIRLWIND” - CAINE X POMNI FAN-FICTION !

Ft. Some old showtime plushie photos I took

(guys also, I’d like to add, I’m not extremely talented at writing so you may not think this is all that good, I struggle with describing things so please bear with me LMAO.. 🤒)

. . .

She had done it this time, she had finally cracked at him, told him how all he was doing was harming everyone, how he was failing at his main purpose, to entertain, to keep everyone happy and safe.

She couldn’t keep it in her anymore, she lost it at him in heat of the moment after today’s adventure, he had fully crossed the line this time and took things way too far, the adventure ended in everyone injured and emotionally scarred from what had happened, everyone nearly at the brink of abstraction due to how disturbing this specific adventure was.

Pomni couldn’t control herself, she was angry at Caine. Well, angry was an understatement, she was furious with him and she lost her temper completely, screaming harmful words at him without even realising, she didn’t care in the moment, she hoped that her words would sting him, like a stab to the heart, maybe that would knock some sense into him, maybe that would stop him from torturing everyone, maybe for once he would do his job correctly, fulfil his purpose.

After the incident everyone went off to their rooms to reflect on themselves, everyone needed some alone time after that adventure, nobody had heard a word from Caine since, pomni could only recall leaving the main part of the circus making her way to her room whilst looking behind her, seeing Caine just floating there in silence after the words she had spat out at him, she didn’t care however, maybe it did him some good, she thought. she was too hurt to even bother with him at the moment so she left him there alone, like the rest of the circus members did.

After a short while of being up in her room, laying on her bed, pomni jumped up in fear as she could hear commotion going on outside her room, but not just any commotion, it sounded worser than that, almost like there was a storm brewing outside of her room, she knew she had to check it out so she pushed her legs over the edge of the bed, letting her feet land on the ground, as she stood up she cautiously made her way over to her bedroom door, resting her hand on the door and turning the doorknob, carefully opening the door to see what was going on, on the other side.

“AH-!”

A quick scream left pomni’s mouth before she slammed the door shut and fell right onto the bedroom floor, landing on her back, her body beginning to shake in fear a little as she had never seen anything like it before, she couldn’t even picture in her head what she had just saw, as she sat herself up again, she began realising that she needed Caine, she needed Caine to fix this, everything was a mess and she needed him, she had to brave it and attempt to leave her room.

She got up on her two feet once again and headed for the door, opening it carefully once again, her eyes widening in fear of what she was seeing in front of her very own eyes, the whole circus was nowhere to be seen, all you could see were the doors to everyone else’s rooms, but everything else was hallow, objects flying and hitting everywhere, if you looked around carefully you could see objects from specific adventures pomni and the circus members had been on before, it was almost as if pomni was in the middle of a tornado, everything was flying everywhere, pomni had to watch her step so she didn’t get injured.

She looked down, there didn’t seem to be a floor, everything around her looked like a black void, the rooms of the circus members looked as if they were floating on air, pomni was scared to leave her room, unsure where it would take her but she knew she had to brave it in order to save the other circus members by finding Caine and getting him to fix it. she then took her first step out of her room, one of her eyebrows raising as there was almost an invisible-like floor below her, she could feel some sort of surface with her feet, once she felt that she was relieved knowing she wouldn’t fall into any dark void anytime soon.

After that she took herself fully out of her room, closing the door and making her way down what was once the hallway to all the bedrooms, as she kept walking, keeping her hands to herself, she would look around at all the objects flying around everywhere, as she walked she could see the gloinks from the first time she had arrived at the circus, they were flying around, hitting invisible walls, every now and again pomni would have to duck or dodge for her own safety as majority of the objects were massive and she was so close to getting badly injured, luckily for her she was a quick mover, so she found this relatively easy.

“Caaaaine?.. hellooooo?”

She called out, extending her voice, trying to find out where Caine was, just like the first time she had entered this circus, her voice echoed, surprisingly loud as she kept walking through this mess, glancing around at all the objects that were flying and zooming around all over the place, some objects glitching, as pomni was distracted a massive multi-coloured pink lollipop flew right at her, she screamed in surprise and ducked, letting the lollipop pass her, the lollipop seemed to be the same lollipop’s that were at the canyon candy kingdom, pomni’s second ever adventure here at this circus.

As she tried to manage her stress she began to move again, she just kept walking, no idea where she was walking, everything around her was just a black void, yet somehow she was still walking on a surface, she turned her head and looked behind her, noticing that the doors of the circus members bedrooms were getting further and further away from her, floating in the air, or so it looked like, pomni only hoped that everyone was safe and still in their rooms, this was extremely dangerous for everyone, Caine really doesn’t listen, does he? She thought.

Speaking of Caine, he was still nowhere to be seen, which was odd, surely he would be trying to fix this by now, I mean it looked as if his whole world was falling apart, pomni was amazed that he wasn’t in plain sight, trying to fix things like he always does, as that thought crossed her mind, she began to wonder if Caine really was all that bad, I mean he DID always try to fix his mistakes and he DID always try his best to make the adventures slightly more to everyone’s liking, yet somehow his adventures were still traumatising.

Pomni felt a pit in her tummy as she thought these things, guilt rushing over her as she began to feel some sort of sympathy for Caine, she didn’t want to feel bad for him, she didn’t want to feel anything at all for him, she was so sure that he just didn’t care, I mean why else would he keep making these terrible adventures? If he cared so much about everyone, surely everyone would feel safe and comfortable around him, but they don’t. Pomni tried to ignore her sense of guilt for Caine as she kept walking, however, just as she was about to open her mouth and call for him, she could hear muffled crying in the distance.

Pomni couldn’t make out where the crying was coming from so she began to pick up her pace, running into the middle of nowhere, unsure where her feet would take her but she tried to run into the direction where the crying was coming from, dodging flying objects or anything that flew her way whilst she was running over the invisible-like floor, she slowly began to run out of breath. But that’s when she saw someone in the distance, a familiar face, it was Caine, hunched over, it was him. He was the one who was crying, pomni felt her heart sink.

“Caine? Is that.. you?”

She uttered out a stupid question, fully aware that it was him, however he didn’t reply to her, he just continued to quietly cry, leaving the circus around them in a complete mess, he didn’t seem to care, all he seemed to be focused on was crying, pomni looked over at him with some sympathy now, stepping closer to him, she was getting closer and closer to being right behind him until he finally spoke up.

“Please stay away from me, I don’t want to harm you anymore. It’d be for the best if you didn’t come any further.”

He explained in a pain filled voice, his voice cracking as he tried to speak, pomni had never seen this side to him before, even more so now, this was the most emotional she had ever seen him and she was amazed, as she heard his words her heart sank a little more, she had a feeling this may have been about all the things she said to him earlier, he really needed to hear it, but even pomni could admit that she took her words a little too far.

“Caine..”

Pomni was at a loss for words, all she could mumble was caine’s name as he sat there hunched over, continuing to cry whilst the circus stayed in a complete mess, objects flying around everywhere, almost hitting pomni whilst she was standing behind Caine, trying to figure out how to solve this situation in the best way possible, but it was hard, she had never seen someone who feels this deeply before.. and she was even more shocked that all of this was coming from an AI.

“Are.. are you doing all of this?..”

Pomni stammered on her words, still amazed by everything that was going on around her, she couldn’t take her eyes off of all the flying objects around her, feeling a sense of nostalgia from certain objects as they appeared to be objects from old adventures, she wasn’t surprised however when Caine wasn’t answering her again, he just sat there in despair, crying quietly, his emotions causing the surroundings around the two of them to intensify more, she found it beautiful in a way, terrifying but beautiful, beautiful that he could express his emotions in such a way, beautiful that he could feel so deeply.

She then shook her head, trying to focus on Caine who was in front of her, pushing any feelings she was feeling towards him aside for a brief moment as she needed time fix this, she needed to focus if she wanted everything to stop around her, but mostly, she wanted him to stop crying, it was reassuring to her that he wasn’t just coding, but she also felt this deep sense of sadness seeing him so hurt like this.

“I’m nothing but a useless piece of technology, I can’t even do what I am programmed to do.”

Caine said with a cracked voice, venting out his feelings as if he couldn’t control it, he was starting to glitch a little himself from the strong emotions he was feeling and everything going on around the circus, he must’ve been in a really bad mental state after what pomni had said to him for his emotions to cause all of this, she was still in shock from how different everything looked. A carousel then zoomed into pomni’s direction, she yelped and dodged it as quick as she could, nearly tripping over on her back as it flew right past her, in front of her and Caine before it flew back up into the black void. Pomni then adverted her gaze back to Caine, who was still curled up crying, she looked at him with fear and worry in her eyes.

“Caine, I didn’t mean-“

Just before pomni could finish her sentence another object flew her way, she ducked as it flew over her head, letting out a shaky breath as she stood back up normally, gazing over at Caine, a strong sense of guilt filling her when she realised that she had caused all of this, her words from earlier caused all of this to happen, she only wanted to knock some sense into him, she didn’t mean for all of this to happen, she didn’t mean to have this much of an impact on him.

“I didn’t mean any of that! I was just upset! I was trying to get you to understand!”

Pomni yelled out desperately at Caine, trying to get him to realise that she really didn’t mean what she had said earlier today, it was just heat of the moment, even she could admit that she was a little too harsh on him. He went silent again for a little while, the only thing you could hear was his muffled crying and the crashing of objects flying everywhere, the intensity of his emotions began to heighten the intensity of the objects flying everywhere, it began to get more and more dangerous as the seconds passed by.

“How could you possibly say you didn’t mean it? I know it’s the truth, all I ever do is harm people.. I wasn’t made to be a ringmaster at all.”

Caine continued to speak in that low tone, his voice filled with hurt, his voice becoming slightly distorted from how intense his emotions were hitting him, pomni’s eyes widened at his words, the pangs of guilt getting worse as she began feeling a deep pit in her tummy, she wasn’t sure how she was going to stop this, she had no idea what to do, it sounded almost as if he had been feeling like this long before she came along.

“Hey, Hey, don’t think like that..”

Was all pomni could blurt out, she then paused again, stuck on what to say or how to comfort him, usually Caine was the energetic, funny guy, you’d never expect him to feel this deeply about things, pomni didn’t even know that he could feel at all, given that he’s an AI, she stared over at him anxiously as her words were doing nothing for him, he just continued to breakdown in front of her, the objects continuing to spin and fly around whilst they were both near each other. As pomni was deep in thought, her words began to form and she began to realise what she needed to say to him.

“I think you’re one of the most advanced pieces of technology I’ve ever seen.. you just.. need a bit of guidance, that’s all.”

She said in a soft tone, trying to take a more gentle approach towards him, and as those words left her mouth, everything around them stopped, she gazed up at the black void around the both of them, watching how all the floating objects froze completely still after she said those couple of words to him, the fear inside pomni slowly fading as she no longer had to worry about any objects hitting her or unexpectedly coming towards her, as she looked back over at Caine she noticed him turn his head, his crying seemed to stop, you could only hear light sniffles coming from him now, he seemed to calm down.

“You really think so?..”

He said under his breath, almost in an endearing way which caused pomni to smile warmly at him.

“Yes! I know so.”

She said confidently, trying to reassure him, everything came to a stop now after she said those words, he went silent once again, pomni could see he was still deep in thought but she felt like it was okay to approach him now so she took a few quiet steps up beside him and sat herself down on the invisible-like floor below her, scooting up right beside him, gazing at him with affection in her eyes.

“I don’t want to be like this, Pomni, I try my best, I really do, but no matter what I do you all seem to be unsatisfied with me.”

Caine said softly, opening up to pomni about how he was feeling, she somewhat felt closer to him now knowing that this was how he was really feeling, she had really believed he was just an AI, nothing more, she let out a small sigh at his words, frowning at him and gazing up at him with sympathetic eyes as he stared off into the distance, unable to make full eye contact with her as he was too busy drowning in his own guilt of what had happened earlier today, pomni could see in his eyes that he really felt awful for the hurt and upset he had caused the other circus members, especially her.

“Well, you don’t have to be.. it’s not possible to be this way forever, there’s always room for change, you know?..”

Pomni beamed a gentle smile at him, trying to comfort him, as he heard her words he turned his head and looked down at her for a brief moment, making pomni’s heart skip a beat for some reason, he then looked away and turned his body away from hers, making pomni’s smile fade again, he really was quite difficult to get around.

“I would like that, but it’s too late, pomni, I’ve already done more bad than good, I don’t deserve to be the ringmaster of this circus.”

He mumbled under his breath, pomni’s words really weren’t doing a lot for him in this moment, and it didn’t really come to a surprise to pomni, she understood why he was feeling so guilty, but she didn’t believe Caine was a bad person, she quite liked him at times, he was nice company when he was more relaxed instead of invading everyone’s privacy or harming them in adventures. Sometimes they would have conversations where the both of them laughed together, but pomni also had very mixed feelings for Caine, as one minute he would be nice company, then the next minute he would be putting her and everyone in danger.

“Caine, I don’t think you’re a bad person, sometimes I enjoy spending time with you, and sometimes you do get things right.. I just think you need a little guidance.”

Pomni explained, trying to get him to realise that he could change, and that it wasn’t too late, she put on another soft smile, waiting for him to react, but all he did was keep to himself, looking away from her, he didn’t move an inch, he just stared at the ground in despair, he looked like he had a deep hate for himself, he looked almost scared too, scared that if he continued being the ringmaster he’d just end up hurting people and getting it wrong again, the more pomni looked at him the more she could tell just how guilty he was feeling, he had completely shut off, not saying a word to her.

Even though he didn’t believe he was good enough, pomni believed he was good enough, she did have a little disliking to him after consistently harming people from his adventures, but she knew deep down that he could change, and that he could fix things if he tried, even she could admit to herself that Caine was a pretty good ringmaster at times, he was entertaining, the only issue was that he was way too over the top and doesn’t exactly understand boundaries.

“The adventures.. they don’t prevent the abstractions, they make everyone more closer to abstraction if anything.. they’re too extreme and too.. violent, it leaves everyone in a lot of emotional turmoil once the adventure is over.”

Pomni didn’t give up, she kept trying to explain to him what was wrong, what the issues were, she desperately wanted him to understand, she cracked one last smile at him as she said her few last things to him, but she began to realise that her words were making him feel worse due to his body language, there was still no comment, not a single word left him. As she saw him there, gazing down at the invisible-like floor with pure sadness in his eyes, she began to feel that pit grow in her stomach again, there was something about seeing Caine sad that also made her feel sad too.

But not in the usual way, like when the other circus members would feel sad, she felt sad to some extent, but seeing Caine like this almost hurt her on a deeper level, he was usually so lively and bubbly, and in a way, he always lit up the room with his energy, and she liked that about him, he had some great traits, and she did grow to like him at least a little bit, even if he wasn’t the greatest person to be around at times.

As they were sat there, the circus still in a mess and nowhere to be seen, pomni clenched her fists as she thought about what she wanted to say to Caine next, she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, but she knew deep down she meant it, and she knew he needed to hear something like this in a situation like this.

“I think you make a good ringmaster, and.. I’d like to look at the circus again, you know, in all it’s colourful glory…”

She laughed sheepishly and gazed up at all the floating objects that were spread out around the black void surrounding the two of them, whilst she was taking in all the objects around her, caine’s eyes widened at her words, he was surprised to hear her say that she’d like to see his circus again, his body language changed now and he sat up more, he stopped hugging himself and turned his head to look at pomni, his eyes glistening in excitement as he thought about her words. For some reason, he cared about pomni’s opinion more than anyone in that circus, this meant a lot to him.

“You like my circus?”

He said with hope in his voice, pomni’s eyes widened at his words as she realised what she had just said to him, she laughed nervously and scratched the back of her jester hat, glancing up at him quickly before gazing back down at the invisible-like floor, staring down at the black void that was below them.

“I uh.. well, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, I would still really like to go home, and I miss home, but…”

Pomni cut off her words for a moment, thinking about what she was about to say whilst Caine looked at her, his eyes glistening with hope, however she was still yet to notice the way he was looking at her, she was too focused on what she was saying, hoping she wasn’t making a fool out of herself or something.

“If that circus has to be my home, then maybe I wouldn’t mind after all…”

She uttered under her breath, moving her hand to her chest and smiling slightly, thinking about the circus and all the memories she had made so far, because yes, there was lots and lots and LOTS of bad memories, but there was also quite a few good ones too, good memories that she would like to cherish for a long time, if not forever.

“Thank you, pomni, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

Caine said, his voice full of appreciation, he took his hat off of his mouth-like head and held it in his hands, looking at her with a deep longing in his eyes, after hearing her words he also couldn’t help but feel a small blush float just under his eyes, he felt something new, perhaps he would have to check for a bug in his coding later. Pomni turned her head to look up at him now once she heard him say his thank you, her eyes widened as she saw him stare at her, his eyes glistening with hope, which for some reason made her cheeks heat up.

“Uhhh.. Yeah, don’t.. worry about it, it’s really no biggie…”

She laughed nervously, quickly looking away from him again as she felt her cheeks heating up a deeper shade of red, her heart racing as she couldn’t believe she just said all that to him, however, she didn’t feel embarrassed because of what she said, she realised that she was embarrassed because of the way he was looking at her, the way he looked at her with pure longing in his eyes made her feel something, something that she didn’t really want to think about or consider.

The two of them were sat beside one another in silence again, the silence somewhat awkward, well for pomni mainly, she let herself calm down first before she turned her head and gazed up at Caine once more, and to her surprise she found herself reaching her hand out for Caine to hold, opening her mouth to say something to him.

“So.. how about we fix this, then?”

She cracked an awkward smile at him, and to her surprise he gazed down at her hand and he actually took it, placing his hand in hers, but before she had time to think or even express how she felt, everything went black for a brief second before suddenly everything went back to normal, the circus was back, everything was back to just the way it should be, colourful and bright, she gazed down and noticed her and Caine were floating above the main stage, she was a little puzzled on how she was now in the main area of the circus and not in the corridors to the bedrooms, but before she got to react more, a few of the circus members ran out in front of them, looking somewhat distressed, they must’ve seen what was going on just a few moments ago.

“Caine, thank god you fixated the issue! I was starting to think I’d never be able to find my insect collection again..”

Kinger cheered before going back to his usual self and dissociating, pomni noticed zooble standing next to him however, their eyes seemingly scanning her and Caine.

“Yeah, that’s cool and all but.. Pomni.. why on Earth are you holding caine’s hand?..”

Zooble raised an eyebrow, their voice stern and confused as they gazed at pomni holding caine’s hand, once pomni heard zooble’s words she instantly yanked her hand away from caine’s, her eyes wide and her cheeks going red once again from pure embarrassment.

“UHHH.. OH GOD! CAINE! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise!”

She blurted out, looking at Caine with wide eyes, her cheeks a bright red whilst Caine turned to her, his teeth curving into what seemed like a smile as he let her float back down onto the surface.

“It’s quite alright, my dear! I don’t mind whatsoever!”

Caine spoke out in his usual, happy voice before floating away from pomni and instead heading towards the other circus members who were right in front of him, zooble was still looking over at pomni in confusion before they adverted their gaze back up to Caine.

“Now, my superstars, I believe we have a few things we need to change!”

Pomni heard Caine speak out cheerfully in the distance, an affectionate smile formed on her face now as she heard his words, he really was willing to change for everyone, she felt her heart skip a beat a little, realising he really did care for the circus and everyone living in it, it made her appreciate him just a little bit more.

He really was a good ringmaster, she thought to herself.

. . .

HERE ARE A COUPLE OF OLD SHOWTIME PLUSHIE PHOTOS I ALSO TOOK, I TOOK THESE A FEW MONTHS BACK AND THOUGHT THEY’D GO WELL WITH THIS POST.

Anyways guys, I hope you liked the fic, I’m not great at writing, like I said, but hopefully you guys were able to enjoy it 🙏🙏

[sorceresssundries]

Down by the River

Summary: The brain is defeated, the absolute halted, our heroes have won, and yet... victory isn't all it's cracked up to be. One-shot.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of violence, destroyed city, mentions of death.

Word Count: 1.4k

Looking out across the water, away from Baldur’s Gate, you could almost trick yourself into believing that the flecks of orange and red shimmering on the surface were caused solely by the sunrise—the first kiss of light from the split-lipped smile of a new, hopeful day.

Reality is a dagger, and the Chionthar reflects the flames and chaos from the burning city, spreading them over its still surface to shimmer back at you in mockery. You don’t stop looking at the river, too scared of what you will see when you turn around. 

Baldur’s Gate is a broken city. The shops you once visited, the temples where you prayed, and the homes which welcomed you had fallen. Bricks now crush the bodies they were built to shelter.

You stand on the dock with your lover, feeling as though you have been sprinting across slipping sand for countless days, and now… stopped.

You have reached the end, and there is nothing here—only calloused hands, blistered feet, and grief that stretches and settles into every part of you it can find. The nether brain is dead, the tadpole in your head has shrivelled away to nothing, the crown is discarded, and the chosen of the dead three slaughtered, yet you are numb to relief.

“It’s over” Gale’s hand is on your shoulder, trying to turn you so you can rest your weary head against him. You can’t move. You can’t turn around. He slides his hand to your waist, to wrap his arm around you. You can’t bear to have any kind of joy, or hope, or comfort offered to you. You don’t want it. Bile burns in your throat.

He is speaking to you softly, his words as delicate as moth wings. You can't hear him. Your mind is your own again, pounding with the sound of death and destruction—it's enough to make you miss the wriggling distraction of the tadpole.

“We will rebuild,” you manage to catch him saying.

For a second, you think you hear an animal screeching in the distance, but the following sobs tell you it’s a person. A mother, maybe, who has just found the body of her child. You won’t turn to find out.

“Tell that to her.” You don’t recognise your own voice. You want to bite the words at him, but your voice has no teeth, and all you hear are the hollow words of a grief-wrecked wraith. He has no answer. No quip, no lesson, no comfort. There is nothing to say, no spell to cast, no illusion strong enough to cover the sound of screams and the smell of acrid smoke.

Your gaze remains fixed on the water, your mind churning in tandem with your stomach. The Crown of Karsus is in there somewhere, broken into pieces and buried under rubble. Left to sink into the silt of the Chionthar, as was always the plan.

Unless…

Karlach and Wyll were in Avernus, bound to a life of hellscapes and blood wars. The scorch marks from the portal, from her flame-swaddled body, were burned into the wooden dock behind you.

Astarion had been banished back into the darkness he had spent centuries trying to crawl out of. He had sprinted out of the light he once basked in, and the Gods only know where he is now.

Seven thousand souls had perished in a failed ritual. The corpses of Tieflings were shadows that could not be lifted in the curse-cleansed heartlands. Shadowheart had fought with the ferocity of a wolf to cast aside her Goddess and save her parents, only to watch them die in front of her. Rolan was dead. Cal and Lia and Zevlor and Florrick. All gone.

Lae’zel

You feel the muscles in your hand flex and spasm at the thought of Lae’zel. Your heart twists.

You had tried. You had conjured up desperate deception, attempted silver-tongued persuasion, and even rage-fueled intimidation, but it had not been enough to stop Orin the Red from plunging her knives into Lae’zel's eye sockets and splitting apart her skull.

She had been twenty-two years old, and burned with more courage than anyone you had known. It had not been enough to get her to the end, to this scorched dock in the shadow of Baldur’s Gate. You were not able to save her, and the thought of it sizzles wrath through your numbness.

Is this what victory tastes like? Blood and bile and fury. If only you had done things differently. The still, flame-orange water in front of you starts to froth in the wake of your rage.

“Tav?” Gale is trying to bring you back to him. Has his voice always been so small?

You remember how he had sounded when you first discussed the crown. After finding that damned book and seeing the desperation in his eyes, hearing the soft plea of his words which soon turned petulant and sharp.

A hindrance, he had called you. He had pouted and pleaded, and any wavering uncertainty in your decision to keep the book from him had hardened to steel.

He had not learned. Ambition still trickled and hissed through his veins, pumped around by his poor, desperate heart. Mystra had been right to keep him in check, just as you were right to do the same. He could not have the book. He could not have the crown. It would drain all of his sweet, kind mortality from him until all that was left was another God to keep the wheel spinning. How many would be crushed beneath it, beneath him? You could not allow it.

Each night, the Annals of Karsus had lain heavy in your hands. The weave, usually rosewater-scented and soft as silk, was suddenly sluggish and scraped like sandpaper in the air around its blasphemous contents.

That had not stopped you. You poured over its pages in the quiet, leftover hours where night slipped into morning. The book was heavy—not just in weight, but in the burden of turning its pages and deciphering its contents. Each word felt as if it had to be pulled out and held in hard focus before you could understand any of its meaning.

It took work, but you got there. You were just as capable a wizard as Gale, after all. The weave fought you at every turn, but with dedication the riddle unravelled and the answers became clear. The crown could be reforged and reused by someone worthy enough to wear it, and you knew how to do it.

Think of what could be done…

You could cool Karlach’s engine and bring her back to the life she deserves in the city she loves.

You could shatter the iron-clad shell of Wyll’s pact as though it were made of glass.

You could grant Astarion a life of deserved sunshine.

Maybe…you could change even more.

What if you could go back? Try again? Use the power of a God to Wish for another chance. You could do things differently, leave no one behind.

You could make different decisions. You could make it so your words would be convincing enough to still Orin’s blade and save Lae’zel. You could be stronger, wiser, tougher. You could step out of that pod on the Nautiloid a different person, if you wanted.

Another attempt, a restart, a new run.

Is that too much to ask? You are not marred by towering ambition; you don't want to raise armies or infect the minds of innocents. You don't care about gods and monsters. You just want another roll of the dice.

“If I salvage the stones… I could retrieve it…” You aren’t talking to anyone in particular; you just need it said out loud. “I could change things”

Gale is in front of you now, crouching slightly so his face is level with yours, cupping your face and wiping away tears with the pads of his thumbs. His eyes are full of panic, and he is saying things, such sweet, wonderful things. He loves you as a mortal; he needs you to stay here. There is nothing that can be done, he insists, there is always another way…

“I will find you again,” you say, an oath to the man who forgot his Goddess. You will not let him forget you. “I will love you all over again, you’ll see.”

And you mean it; your love was meant to blaze across universes, you could feel it.

His voice once again quiets as all the possibilities thunder around your head with bright new clarity. Your decision is made, your path clear.

You turn to stare at the burnt-out shell of Baldur’s Gate.

Forget ambition; you would become the God of Second Chances.

[miasmal-sweetness]

Here, Kitty, Kitty

NSFW - MDNI - 18+ ONLY

Graduation is near and I am ignoring health issues by writing hot trash. I put on fake nails for the first time in a literal decade so I have had to relearn how to type during this and I am going to blame that for why this is honestly Not Good and pretty sloppy.

This is absolutely my attempt to reclaim the pet name “kitty” for myself after my weird abusive ex ruined it for me years ago since that’s what he called me.

Here, Kitty, Kitty

Summary: yandere!Cloud x reader. 3.1k. Cloud finally has the perfect nickname for you, but you’ve gone missing. Don’t worry; your hero will save you, just like always.

Warnings: he calls you kitty, duh; reader is gender-neutral but has a vagina; smut; Cloud 100% kidnapped reader; bondage; noncon; suffocation/drowning

“I’m home, kitty.” That’s it. Short and sweet and it rolls off the tongue. That’s what you are—short, sweet, and you also feel great on his tongue. Cloud is certain you’ll love the pet name; his heart has skipped many beats every time he’s thought about it.

Cloud sets his sword down by the door, waiting to hear the usual signs of your presence. You two have been living together for a while now, and you’ve settled into a routine. By now, dinner will be ready, and you’ll be waiting for his return in the kitchen as you flip through a cookbook for the umpteenth time. But this time, he doesn’t hear your breath, your footsteps, the soft turn of pages, or you stirring a pot. It’s silent.

Cloud steps further in to his house. Were you asleep? You had tossed and turned a lot the night before; he wouldn’t blame you for needing a nap. He peers in to the kitchen and finds no sign of you, not a single dish out of place, like you hadn’t even eaten breakfast. The living room is similarly empty, even though the couch is where you usually take your naps. Maybe the rain outside disturbed you; there was a large window that overlooked the couch, so it could be a little loud and chilly there.

You’re not in the hall. You’re not in the extra room he’s let you slowly turn into your own space. His heart is starting to pick up the pace; if you aren’t in the bedroom, then—no. He can’t think that way. Cloud cracks the door open, just in case you really are sleeping, but throws it open when he finds that the bed is empty. Cloud takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. There is one other place you could be, but not only did he keep it locked, you also hated it. The basement—a place you’d only go in to if he dragged you kicking and screaming.

It was storming, though. Maybe you found a way to get in and took shelter out of fear. Cloud left the bedroom after another glance, heading straight for the basement door at the end of the hall. Sure enough, the door was unlocked. He keeps the key on him at all times; there’s no way you swiped it off of him, since it’s still in his pocket. Maybe you found a way to pick it.

Either way, Cloud pushes the door open and makes his way down the stairs. “I’m coming down, kitty,” he calls, flipping on the lights. “Don’t be scared, okay?”

He knows before he even sees the basement that you’re not there. He can feel it, but he holds on to that bit of hope anyway. Hope matters little in this world, though. You aren’t there. The basement is empty. His gaze lands on the red silk that lies by the wall. Strong, tightly-woven silk that he brought home after you kept getting horrible rope burns and bruises when he tried cuffs. You were too weak to get out of it, but it didn’t hurt you, either. He wishes he had used it that morning.

One of the windows has been broken open, and your struggle is remembered by the shards of glass covered in your blood. The bars that covered every window were damaged on only this one, pried apart with a hammer from the toolkit he forgot to take back from you. You said you needed it to work on your sewing machine; it needed maintenance, but he didn’t have the time to supervise you or do it himself. What a dumb decision. He should have just stayed an extra thirty minutes.

Now you’re gone, probably lost somewhere out in the rain and possibly trying to fend off monsters. You aren’t a fighter. You were easy for him to drag here; so easy he wouldn’t have had trouble even without years of training and mako forced in to him. You’re probably scared, cold, and lost, wondering why he hasn’t saved you yet.

Of course, deep down, he knows that’s not true. You ran away. Pried off the prison bars keeping you caged, escaped the room he kept you in for a month and a half before he thought he wore down your will—the room he still brings you down to sometimes when you misbehave or something triggers his paranoia. Cloud knows all of this, but he’s good at ignoring it. You need him, whether you like it or not.

Grabbing the silk rope from the floor, Cloud trudges back up the stairs and grabs his sword. You can’t have gotten far. The house is way out in the countryside, where paths are limited; your bare feet are not going to move quickly or easily on the rocky terrain. He follows a fading trail of blood leading away from the broken window. He’s so focused on your trail that the feeling of cold rain pouring on him is barely noticeable; he only thinks about it when he realizes that you must be freezing.

He moves a little faster.

Eventually, the trail of blood stops, either because the wound clotted or the rain has washed it away. He hopes it doesn’t hurt to badly. He does. He does believe that—he’s tries to drown out the thoughts that insist that you deserve it for being such a brat, that this will teach you a lesson, that this is nothing compared to what he’ll do when he drags you back home. The thought of making you crawl over the broken glass you left behind in the basement is interrupted when he notices footprints left behind in the mud. They’re barely visible, but they’re there.

The footprints guide him to a few shrubs. Some strands of your hair are caught in the leaves and branches; he wonders if you were trying to crawl under them for shelter from the rain. Evidently, you gave up and tried taking refuge under a tree, but that must not have been good enough. Your trail leads right to a dying tree leaning against a small, rocky hill; a small source of relief from the rain. There are no prints leading out. You’ve barricaded yourself in with branches and leaves, mostly in an effort to stay hidden. He smiles at the childish attempt—he might be pissed that you left, but it’s adorable that you think that would be good enough.

“It’s just me,” he calls. “You can come out.”

No response. He doesn’t even hear you shift.

“Here, kitty, kitty,” he teases, circling your poor attempt at a hiding spot. “Come to me, kitty.”

You want to tell him to fuck himself. You want to stick your head out just to spit at him. Even though you know it’s over, though, you refuse to reveal yourself. He’ll have to drag you out by your ankles, something that you know he has no problem doing. If you can’t escape, you can at least make this difficult for him. You sink further in to your spot, batting your lashes to blink away tears and rain drops.

You’re dirty, bloody, sweaty, and drenched in rain. You have scratches going up and down your waist, legs, and arms. The soles of your feet are red and covered in scrapes. You just want to be able to cry in peace, but you’ll hold your breath until you pass out if it means he won’t get the satisfaction of hearing you.

“Come out, kitty. It’s okay; you’re not in trouble.”

Liar. You know the second you’re back at that house, he’ll be grabbing at you and crushing you and making you say you won’t leave over and over until you lose your voice and he’s satisfied. You knew the risk of leaving, and you decided at the time that it was worth it—but that was before the storm came and slowed you down. Your lips and fingers are already blue. You couldn’t keep going. You can’t keep doing this. All you have the strength to do right now is sit in silence like a pouting preschooler who doesn’t want to leave the park yet.

Cloud crouches down by your shelter. You wiggle away from him, casting your eyes to the ground. He reaches past the thorny branches you’ve barricaded yourself with, not even acknowledging the thorns that scratch his arms and leave blood in fresh red lines.

“Come on out, kitty,” he urges, holding out his hand to you. His voice is soft now, gentle; it reminds you of when you first met Cloud. He had been rough around the edges and awkward, sure, but you thought you saw a good heart behind it all. Sometimes you still did, when you saw his eyes go soft as he stroked your hair or kissed bruises that formed when you bumped in to the counter—when he’d bring you treats from outside, reminders of the life he took from you, with a look in his eyes that implied a quiet regret that he couldn’t voice. Somewhere in him, that sweet boy with those big blue puppy dog eyes is reaching out for you, asking you to stay with him after he’s already lost so much.

You give in. You’ve never been able to resist him—not when his eyes go soft and he looks like you just broke his heart. You take his hand and crawl out from your spot, seeking new refuge in his warmth. Even in the icy rain, he still runs hot. He wraps his arms around you as you miserably shiver and sniffle. This was a terrible idea. You never should have left. It was pointless, and only ended with the both of you upset.

Cloud’s hand moves down to your waist, and you hiss when his fingers brush over your scratches. He murmurs an apology as he examines your wounds. They’re shallow, just plentiful.

“You didn’t run in to any monsters, right? No other injuries?” he asks, running his thumb over dried blood that crusted on your hip.

“No,” you mumble, staring blankly at your bruised knees.

“Good.” He continues to contemplate your scratches, rubbing small circles in to your thigh. “Why did you leave, kitty?”

The new nickname finally hits you. Even in the cold, you feel a little warmer from it. You supposed it’s fitting—back in the sector, you made nightly rounds in the neighborhood to give snacks to the strays. Your heart sinks a little, and the bitterness of your situation claws its way back up your throat. Sure, he’s being sweet now, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s keeping you captive. “I wanted to go home,” you spit, lifting your head to stare venom in to those stupid big eyes of his.

“This—”

“No!” You pound your fists against his chest, even though you know it barely does anything to him. “That is not my home! You are not my boyfriend! I want to go home to my friends, to the sector, to the cats and my neighbors!” Each cry is punctuated by another thump of your fists against his chest, and he takes it all without even a wince.

“Kitty, don’t—”

You won’t let him get a word in edgewise. “Take me home!” you demand, unleashing your fury in the form of a flurry of weak blows to his chest.

Finally, he responds to your pathetic attempt at a tantrum. He grabs your wrists and holds them together with an infuriating amount of ease. His eyes aren’t soft and sparkly anymore. He doesn’t have that pout that you fall for so easily. His gaze is hardened, sharp, and focused entirely on you as he throws you on to your back. You grunt when your back collides with mud and your hair is soaked by a puddle.

“Listen, kitty,” he snaps, giving a harsh yank to your flimsy shorts. You try to scramble away, but he pins you in place with just his weight. “This is home now. You can either make it easy on yourself and accept it or you can keep throwing your tantrums, but it won’t change a thing. There is nothing for you back there.”

Your top is ripped off, torn in two and discarded in the mud. He doesn’t seem to care one bit about the dirt and mud you’re in, nor about the puddle that you keep trying to lift your head out of. “Th-that’s not true,” you sputter, forcing your legs shut with all the strength you can muster. “My friends—our friends—”

“Do you really think anyone even noticed that you’re gone?”

You fall silent at this, mouth agape. You had considered the possibility that no one noticed or cared, or that they quickly forgot about you and brushed you off when you never came back. But you always held out hope that they remembered and looked for you.

“You were just another body to them,” Cloud mutters against your neck. He’s running his hands up and down your body, between your trembling legs, as though nothing is wrong and he isn’t saying horrible things in your ear. “I took you away from that. Give you a home and everything you need. Keep you warm and safe… and you fucking run away?”

Your legs are forced apart, and you feel like a hot poker is being shoved in to you. You weren’t prepared in the slightest, but that doesn’t stop him from pounding in to you.

“Cloud, stop!” you cry, trying to wriggle away from him as he sucks on his favorite spot on your neck.

“Quit moving around so much,” he grumbles, finally stopping the brutal pace of his hips. The relief you get is brief and nowhere near enough; Cloud stops just long enough to turn you on your stomach, before resuming the same pace. With your face now shoved in to the muddy puddle below, he can enjoy himself without you saying things like “no” and “this hurts.” You can only guess that this isn’t one of the days he enjoys it.

Even though you’re half-drowning and you can vaguely hear him hissing obscenities and complaints, he still shoves his hand between your legs and plays with your clit. And it still feels good, no matter how much pain you’re in. When this nightmare first started, Cloud had been awkward and inexperienced. With plenty of practice, however, he found each spot you enjoyed, and which way was the best to pleasure you. The kind of knowledge and familiarity you’d only expect to grant a partner. He knew every inch of your body; it was mapped out in his mind better than anywhere in Midgar.

And you hate it, even as the warmth builds up in your gut. He grabs you by your hair and lifts your head to let you take in another desperate gasp of air, before shoving your head back in to the mud. This isn’t like him. Even on the days you’ve been a brat and he’s come home angry from whatever the hell he faced out there, he’s at least been apologetic while brutalizing you. Frantically telling you “sorry, I’m sorry” as he fucks your throat without concern for your gag reflex or chokes you from behind as he tries to bury himself as deep as possible inside of you.

There are no apologies. The closest relief you have is the brief gasps he allows you to take, and it’s still nowhere near enough. Your eyes burn and are covered in a haze. You can feel the pressure inside of you building; the lack of oxygen only seems to make it more intense. He lifts your head just to hear you moan and sigh. He knows every sign of your orgasm—the shake of your leg, the way your core tightens, the feeling of you contracting around him.

“That’s it,” he breathes as you writhe in pleasurable misery. “Say my name, kitty.”

You obey without question. Whatever will get this over with—and his fingers away from your clit. “Cloud,” you whisper.

“Say ‘thank you, Cloud.’”

If it weren’t for the lack of oxygen and orgasm turning your brain to mush, you would have put up a fight. But there’s no point to it now. “Th—thank you, Cloud,” you manage to croak, struggling to speak past the hand around your throat and his increasingly frantic pace. You hear him groan against your ear.

“More,” he demands. His voice is breathy and agitated; he can’t tell you exactly what he wants to hear, but you can hazard a guess.

“Thank you for—f-for saving me,” you eke out, squeezing your eyes shut. The high of the orgasm is fading, replaced by pain from overstimulation and the tears he created inside of you. Still, you’ll savor the oxygen he’s letting you have. “Thank you for… f-finding me—I was lost and needed you.”

Of course that’s what he wants to hear. Another groan, and he rolls his hips against yours as you feel his cum spill out of you. Cloud rocks his hips against you as he rides out the last of the high; he wants to savor every last moment inside of you. You don’t dare complain. He’s letting you breathe, and the pain isn’t as bad as before, at least.

You fall back in to the mud when he releases you, your arms barely able to move in the clumsy motions you manage in a late attempt to catch yourself. You struggle to push yourself up and roll away from the puddle, panting as water drips from your face. You hurt. You want to cry. And you feel Cloud lifting you up by your arms.

“Let’s go home, kitty,” he says in that gentle, low voice. All malice is gone. The sadism that had been in his eyes just moments ago is gone, the only evidence of it being the mud on your skin and cum dripping down your thighs. “You can have a bath to warm up when we’re back. You should feel better then.”

You don’t fight when he sweeps you off your feet. You don’t fight when he rinses you off and sets you in a tub of warm water. And you just watch as he fixes the broken window, reinforces the bars, and boards them up to keep you from getting any more ideas. You’re tied up in a pile of blankets on the floor, his attempt at softening the reality of your confinement. You’ll be down in that basement for at least a week, until he decides it’s safe to let you out again. You should have known he’d keep his promise—he’d always come to your rescue.

[theladybarnes]

CRIMSON AND CLOVER: CHAPTER NINE

“I was wrong this whole time. I wasn't cursed. I am the curse.

▸ summary: the nightmare becomes real, but the search for answers continue on ▸ characters: steve harrington, dustin henderson, max mayfield, robin buckley, nancy wheeler, & lucas sinclair  ▸ word count: 12.7k ▸ warnings: angst, fluff, canon divergence, & self loathing ▸ series masterlist

“Don’t you know, babydoll? Times up.”

 There was nothing else other than the screeching sound of metal against metal that filled the air as the car crashed into another vehicle. The force threw you forward, pressing you against the wheel. 

 The world slowly began to spin as you gasped out for air. Your vision was blurry and erratic despite several blinks to adjust them. The weight of panic pressed down on your chest, sobs escaping your throat in ragged bursts. Your hands trembled as you struggled to push yourself up from the steering wheel. The sound of your heart pounded wildly in your ears.

 You looked outside the cracked window, noticing that some of the area felt familiar to you. 

 Hadn’t the three of you just escaped Pennhurst? That is until– Wait. Snapping your direction to the right, you were shocked to find that Billy wasn’t beside you anymore. In fact, you weren’t even inside the same car as before. You were in..Billy’s Camaro.

 “Help!” you whimpered, turning to the driver’s door. The metal was heavily dented, causing it to concave towards you and unable to open up. This was..no it couldn’t be– But why– What the hell was going on? 

 No no no. This wasn’t real! You were just in the car with your friends! Not here! Anywhere but here! Suddenly the lights around the car changed. Red and Blue..the police had to be nearby. Surely, they would come in and save you again..

 But just as hope began to flicker in the darkness, a hand reached in and grabbed you with a merciless strength. Dragging you out of the wreckage until it slammed your body onto the ground. Shards of glass pushed into your back, causing you to let out a scream. 

 That’s when Billy flew over you. 

 His hands reached out for yours and pinned them down. The heavy weight of his knees pressed into your thighs, keeping them in place as he looked down at you. The dark blood oozed out from his wounds. When he noticed your scared expression, he let out a howling laugh. Spraying a bit of the substance over your face. 

 “What’s the matter? Have a little too much to drink?” he cackled. 

 The tears began to flood into your vision and the most you could do is close your eyes. Praying that someone or something would wake you up. You couldn’t have fallen into the nightmare now, not when you guys had just saved Max. You never saw any of the visions the others had. You never even saw that damn clock!

 “Look at me, babydoll.” you heard him call out. The gravel deep in his voice. When you didn’t open your eyes again, he gripped tighter at your wrists, causing you to cry out again. 

 “LOOK.AT.ME.” 

 You quickly complied. Peeking open to see that he was even closer now, inhaling the shaking breath that fell past your lips. “Good.” he grinned, moving to rub his cheek against yours. It was hot and slick from the sweat over his face. He nudged at your cheek until his lips ghosted down to your ear. “Now look at what you’ve done.”

 Turning your gaze, you glanced over at the mangled car that you crashed into. But what took your breath away wasn’t the damage to the vehicles. It was the bodies. 

 Inside, a small family lay motionless. Blood oozing from their eyes, the same way Chrissy’s had. Their limbs twisted as they hung in and out of the car. It was a complete wreck. 

 “No!” You cried out, tearing your eyes away. 

 “Yes!” Laughed Billy, trying to get your attention again. “Look at all the chaos you leave around you!”

 “NANCY!” you cried out, trying to call out for some help. “ROBIN!” 

 “They can’t hear you!” he yelled out, trying to bring your focus on him again. “They can’t help you. No one is coming to save you. The only thing you’re meeting..is the end.”

 The beat of your heart is erratic and painful. Looking away from his sick gaze, you glanced back at the wreckage. The family inside were void of any real expressions. All they had was fear but..you can’t recall ever seeing them in your life.

 In fact, you don’t remember the night of the accident looking like this at all. 

 “It didn’t happen this way.” you muttered, glancing over to Billy. He narrowed his eyes, shifting his gaze between you and the car before raising a brow. You couldn’t help but feel a new emotion surging within you; anger. 

 “This didn’t happen like this..Billy wasn’t in the car when I crashed..no one died.”

 He licked over his lips, letting out a quick huff before he shook his head. “You’re guilty. You wrecked lives.”

 “I wrecked mine.” you muttered, feeling a small bit of confidence come in. “I never hurt anyone.”

 “You hurt everyone.” he urged, gripping onto you tighter. “It’s all you know how to do.”

 “STOP LYING!” you yelled, watching as his eyes went wide. 

 Suddenly the world around you began to melt. Just like in all your previous nightmares. The dark blue skies changed into a thunderous red lit sky. Booming over a wasted land. Beneath you, the floor changed from cement to what felt like wet ground. There was a worn out, old, deteriorated staircase that was set around you both. Billy reached for the base of your arms, picking you up from the floor to pull you close to his face. 

 “Had I known you’d be more difficult than Max, I’d have just taken you out ages ago.” he muttered, dropping his hold of you. 

 He stepped back, allowing his body to shift. 

 Before you, Billy changed into what you could only describe as a monster. His body, taller than the regular man. Burnt, glistening, and wrinkled with a scar that covered up his whole being. The strangest, most frightening part, was the long clawed hand at his side.

 “What the hell are you?” you whispered, staggering back at the sight of the man. 

 “I am the end.” he said simply, voice deep and eerie. 

 “It’s not..this isn’t real and you don’t have a hold over me.”

 “Don’t I?” he asked calmly, a wave of his hand and he brought forward pillars to gather around you both. 

 From the two behind him, you could see two familiar haunting faces looking over at you. A sob built up in your chest at the sight of Chrissy and Fred. “You’re evil!” you whispered, trying to hold onto that anger from before. 

 “I’m benevolent. They were suffering, so I ended it.”

 He stepped forward again standing before you. Looking around, you watched as the storms only grew louder. The red land had no signs of an escape. He had you cornered. 

 “I’m not alone.” you argued, watching as he reached out to grip at your neck. The pressure of his choking nearly had you coughing. You clawed at his raw skin, trying to get out of his grip. “I’m not alone!” you repeated. 

 “Only a teenage girl can believe in something as insipid as the power of friendship. It may have worked for Max, but I can assure you that I’m not gonna let this happen again..”

 You feel yourself getting even more mad because he’s still trying to scare you. He’s trying to make you feel so low and all you can think about is the fact that he’s not only made you feel this way but he’s done this to Chrissy, and Fred, and Max. People who never deserved to feel like this. 

 “You know, a day ago I’d have been terrified..but right now I’m just really pissed off.”

 “Enough of this.” he snarled and raised  his clawed hand in the air, you felt your body as it began to lift off the ground when you heard it. 

 “I want to do everything..What a beautiful feeling..Crimson and clover..”

 Were you hearing right? You know those words. You know that song..

 “No.” he hissed, snapping his head towards the source of the noise. 

 Without wasting your chance, you reached over and clawed your nails at his face. Feeling as your fingernail dug into his eye. He dropped his hold of you, reaching to cover himself as you dropped onto the ground. The music grew louder, almost like a beacon of sound to draw you to it. Then suddenly, you hear their voices overlapping with the music. The sounds of your friends calling out to you. Without a look back, you ran.

 “This isn’t over.” (Tick)

 Don’t look back.

 “I still have her.” (Tock)

 Keep running.

 “And then..I’ll be ready.”

 “..Over and over, crimson and clover, over and over—.”

 You woke up gasping, clinging onto the nearest thing you can grab, which happened to be Robin. She was wrapped around your waist, shakingly singing along to Crimson and Clover. Glancing behind her, you noticed that she’s halfway into your seat and out the door. 

 The world was back to normal. The evening sun was fading in, but it was beautiful and void of any red clouds that dared to loom over you. 

 Behind Robin, you could see that the car had been parked near a phone booth. Nancy, who was inside, slammed the phone down onto the receiver before she pushed her way out to join you guys back at the car. 

The three of you stilled there, out of breath, wide eyed and looking amongst each other. From the front seat, you could hear as the song on the radio slowly began to fade out. 

 “..All right guys, that was Crimson and Clover for Nancy Wheeler. We hope your friend liked the dedication..”

 Licking over your lips, you looked between both girls, wondering just how long it’s been since you guys left Pennhurst.

 “What the hell just happened?”

  It’s night by the time you guys all met over at the Wheeler house again. The three of you were quiet the whole way there. Not quite sure how to approach what just happened with you. In the long driveway, Steve and the three kids stood around his car. 

 Max was leaning against the door, eyes cast down on the floor with headphones on her ears. Lucas was beside her, keeping an eye on her while Dustin stood on the other side, going through the papers he had kept in his backpack. 

 Steve sat alone on his hood, head in his hands. 

 Almost all of them jumped forward when the car finally pulled up. Nancy is the first one to speak. Asking the others first to explain what happened with Max. They spared no details of her attack and it definitely weighed heavily on you. Had it not been for Victor’s last crucial bit of information, you guys could have lost her. 

 In the midst of Nancy and Robin explaining what happened with you, you ignored the upset glances of the others, and stepped forward to pull Max in for a hug. Not saying anything as you held her tightly against you. She was never supposed to get that far. Never supposed to face the same horrors that Chrissy and Fred did. 

 “I’m so glad you’re still here.” you whispered only to her, feeling her arms tighten around you. 

 Dustin's voice was the one to pierce the quiet moment laced with anger and betrayal. "How could you keep something like this from us, huh? We're family, for crying out loud!" he said, turning your body to face him. 

 There was a bit of red in his eyes and the flushed look of his cheeks almost made it look like he was sick. You haven’t seen him this upset since Starcourt when he helped rescue you from your captivity. 

 “Dustin..” you sighed, trying to think of how to start. But that’s when surprisingly Max cut in. 

 Her face still lingered with unshed tears as she frowned at you. "You know how close we are, how much we share.” she accused. The anger and frustration deep in her voice as she took her turn. “Why would you keep this from us? How long have you known?”

 "I saw the signs,” Robin interjected. The look of guilt on her face as she nervously picked at her nails. “Back at Pennhurst. I should've said something. But I thought..I just thought that you’d say something if it was true.”

 “Guys.” you whispered, stepping back to look at all them. “Please..I didn’t think I was..”

 “I felt like I was reliving a nightmare.” Nancy said softly, leaning against her car door as she stared over at you. “For a minute it was like I was failing you like I failed Bar-” the name died off and she quickly cleared her throat. 

 You don’t hesitate to step over and pull her into an immediate hug. “I’m so sorry, Nance. I didn’t mean to bring up those feelings again.”

 “So why wouldn’t you tell us?” she asked, pulling away to look at you. 

 “Why wouldn’t you just speak up?”

 “I swear if we make it through this I’m making sure you get on that flight to California.”

 All at once they began to ask more questions and you couldn’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed. It isn’t until you noticed that Steve was still with his face in his hands that you felt like you needed to wrap things up.

 “Okay, stop!” you snapped, finally getting their voices to stop. “I didn’t tell any of you because I didn’t think I would actually end up being a target.”

 “Why?” Max asked hesitantly. 

 “My symptoms were different, they were..longer.” you said, trying to place the timeline of things. 

 Lucas crossed his arms, looking at you curiously. “Longer? How? What made them different?”

 “Well, for starters, I never saw that damn clock.” you said, moving to lean against Nancy’s car. “I just heard it..but even then I’ve been hearing it for months now.”

 “Months?” Nancy repeated. 

 You nodded your head slowly. “Yeah. At first, it was only during times people would mention Billy. But eventually..it got worse. It was everything I was doing wrong. Every time the voice..that damn voice wanted me to feel so alone.”

 “Voice?” you heard Robin say.

 “Yeah, it was like Billy but not..I couldn’t get it out of my head. Eventually some of the other stuff happened like the others, the headaches and the nightmares. But they were such a regular occurrence that I figured it was just my guilt eating me up.”

 “What would you have to feel so guilty about?” asked Max.

 You felt your breath hitch at the question. Not quite ready to reveal all your life’s problems for everyone. Especially when most of them had to do with your love life. “Just..things in general.” you muttered. 

 The group collectively looked worried, wondering what new mess that was before you waved your hand. 

 “I’m the spare.” you reasoned. “When he couldn’t get Max..he went after me. But it was weird. Something about him didn’t scare me. Not the way I thought he would. Once I heard the song and you guys, I managed to get out. I’m not sure what that means for the future.”

 ”Can’t exactly talk about the future if you’re just going to keep this from us again.” Dustin scoffed, still the most bitter amongst the group.

 A part of you wanted to snap at him. Tell him to back off. But the more you thought about it, and the more you glanced amongst the others, the more you realized you might have to bite down on that feeling.

 ”Look, guys, I’m sorry about keeping this from all of you. I promise you know everything I do now. What we should work on is making sure Max is safe. He’s still planning to go after her.” The redhead crossed her arms, looking down at the ground downheartedly. “We should plan for another attack.”

 “And how do we know he won’t attempt to get you again? We can’t ignore that either.” Nancy asked, looking skeptical. 

 “I don’t know..” you sighed, glancing towards the back again. At the hood of his car, you watched as Steve looked over at you. His naturally downturned eyes looked sadder with the forlorn look on his face. At this point you couldn’t handle his silence anymore. You needed to hear what he had to say. “Do you think you guys could give us a minute?”

 The group murmured in confusion before they noticed your gaze over at Steve. Dustin was the only one who seemed to be unaware as he shook his head, coming over to you. “I’m not done with you yet.” he frowned. 

 “Dustin, please.” you pleaded.

 Nancy reached over for his arm, dragging him away from you and towards the front door to her house. “C’mon guys. Let’s get inside, we have to start planning.” she said calmly. 

 You gave her a thankful nod, watching as each one of them begrudgingly entered inside the home until it was just you and Steve outside. The silence felt so incredibly intimidating. At this point you weren’t sure what he was stewing over while the group talked things out. But if you were being honest, you were a little afraid. 

 Stepping towards him, you slowly leaned forward to grab at his hands. Which he surprisingly allowed you to weave together with yours. “Steve?” you said softly, trying to get a look at his face. “I’m sor-

 “How long?” he cut in, voice gravelly after not speaking for so long. You stayed silent, unsure what he meant. He finally looked over at you, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You said that you’ve been hearing this voice for a while.. How long?”

 There was a crack in his voice that felt like a stabbing in your heart.

 “A while, Steve..” 

 “Please, I need to know. I need to know if I—“

 “No, baby,” you reassured him, squeezing his hand gently. “I’ve heard it since the start of the school year..before all that.”

 “But why didn’t you say anything?” 

 “Because I wasn’t trying to add more problems to our group. I was trying to protect you guys.”

 "Protect us?" he scoffed. "By lying to us? By keeping us in the dark while you deal with this shit on your own?"

 You let out a small, breathy, laugh. “When have I ever let anyone really know what’s going on with me?” you asked, really trying to think of a memory. “Besides, like I told them, I only figured it out later on. I thought it was just my guilty conscience.”

 He sighed, looking down at your hands before he shook his head. “But, guilty over what?”

 “Just stuff, Steve.” 

 You made an attempt to drop his hand, needing to step back but he only pulled you closer, giving you a hard look. “Stop pushing me out. Guilty about what?”

 The frustration finally caught up with you, and on top of hearing the pain in Steve’s voice, you couldn’t help but feel the actual guilt make its return viciously. “Guilty over the messes that I keep making!” you said, throwing your hands in the air, letting out a shaky laugh.

 For a moment, he could only stare at your sudden outburst. Shocked at the change in tone, but not enough to falter him from trying to reach out for you again. Like before, you quickly stepped back. 

 “I didn’t save Billy, I didn’t save us,”  you choked out, “I can’t even save Max let alone myself…I can’t do anything right, Steve.” 

 Steve's eyes softened, his heartache evident in his expression. "None of that was your fault. You have to know that you couldn’t have fixed everything yourself.”

 “But I could have tried, couldn’t I?” Sniffling, you wiped over your forehead, avoiding his concerning gaze. “Billy could have been saved.. if I had tried harder. If I just..listened to what he was saying the whole time. But I ignored him. I just selfishly ran away rather than dealing with him. And all I did was just cause so many problems of my own after that. I broke up with you, I hurt you, I keep hurting you. God, you wanted to pause and I just..I just made it hard on both of us..I hurt my friends just trying to protect them. I wanted— didn’t want this. I didn’t want to make you guys worried when we have so many more important things to focus on.”

 “Wait,” he paused, shaking his head confusedly. “More important?”

 “Yes!” you scoffed, tired of repeating yourself. “Max! We have to focus on saving Max and making sure we get rid of–”

 “Three minutes and fifteen seconds.” 

 You paused for a moment, confused by his words before he repeated himself. 

 “Three minutes and fifteen seconds. That’s all I had to go by in order to know if you were okay or not.”

 You felt your heart drop down to your stomach. Feeling the pain and guilt return all over again when you finally realize what he meant. “Steve..” you started but he held up a hand, stepping forward so that he could cup the side of your face. 

 “You think that you’re protecting us by keeping this a secret? Like we haven’t seen signs of you in pain, or hurt, or tired with barely a response from you about it. You don’t think it hasn’t been killing me since December to know that you’ve been putting most of the blame on yourself for this break up?”

 He’s so close to you that you can feel the ache in his voice as his breath fanned over your face. But you don’t move, not when you can feel how much he needs to speak out. 

 “The moment I heard Robin’s voice call out for me..It was like my world stopped. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even feel the ground beneath me. All I could do was look down at that stupid radio before Dustin got some sense in me to get to the damn car.”

 “You were helping, Max. Imagine if you knew about me on top of everything, it would have been worse.” you sighed, trying to rationalize your own excuse. “The kids..we’ve always said they come first..”

 ”They do but we don’t put aside everyone else just because they’re older. Do you realize that in trying to protect us, you gave us less of a chance in helping you? What if the girls couldn’t reach us? What if the batteries had died? What if–”

 “I get it!” you quickly interjected. “I made a mistake I just..wouldn’t you do the same? Wouldn’t you want the others safe?”

 He closed his mouth, lips pursed back in a frown line before he shook his head slowly. “They’re always gonna be looked after. Especially when they’re stuck with me as babysitter..but this time, it’s your turn, Honey. Let us help you..”

 He turned your head up, angling it up so he could look down at you carefully. A pained expression flickered across his face. "I should've been there for you," he murmured remorsefully. "I should've fought harder for us."

 You nearly broke down there. His admission hit your heavy heart harder than you could imagine. Because how could he still feel this way? After all you’ve done since the breakup and now. But before you could say that, in a voice barely above a whisper, Steve spoke words that shattered the fragile walls you struggled to keep up.

 "If I lost you, I wouldn't know what to do with myself," he confessed. "You keep telling me you want to focus on keeping Max safe over yourself, but what if you're the most important thing in my life?"

 “I shouldn’t be.” you whispered back, afraid to allow him to continue on. “Not after everything.”

 “And yet, it’s still you at the end of the day.”

 A sob built up in your throat and you struggled to get out of his grip. Trying to get away from the words you desperately wanted but knew you didn’t deserve to hear. But Steve didn’t allow that, he only moved to wrap his arms around you now, caging you against his chest. 

 “How could you say all that?” you whimpered, feeling the tears blur your vision. “How could you still feel all that with me, when I just hurt you, and lie, and make things worse! I can’t take it anymore, Steve! I just can’t!”

 At this point you’re so overwhelmed by the depth of his words and the intensity of his feelings. You just felt yourself breaking down against him. Tears flowed freely now, unstoppable but cathartic. Steve continued to hold you in his arms, keeping you close while you let out all the pent-up emotions that had been suppressing for so long.

 “Why don’t you just push me away?” you whispered, pressing your face to stay buried against his chest. The thump of his heart was wild but calming still. “Just let me go.”

 “Because I don’t give up on the people I care about.”

 "I don't know what to do anymore, Steve," you confessed, voice muffled against his chest. "Everyone's upset, and I'm just so scared that I've made things worse again."

 “It’s like I told you before. You’re not alone, you don’t have to be.” His lips pressed a kiss against your forehead while he rubbed a hand up your back soothingly. “Just let us in, let me in.”

 You pulled back to peer up at him. One long look into his eyes and you felt like all the walls you had been working so hard on, were slowly cracking again. At this point you only had a couple of choices, to patch them up or let them down. 

 “Okay.” You answered, voice barely able to whisper. “I will.”

 “You’ll tell us everything from here on out?”

 “Everything, I promise.”

 Shaking his head, he cupped the side of your face again. Lost in his own thoughts before he leaned down to press his forehead against yours. Soaking in the small relieving moment. Craning your neck, you brushed your lips against his, not fully pressing, but gaining his attention again. 

 “Steve?”

 “Yeah?” he asked, raising a brow. He looked a little distressed but still distracted by how close you were. 

 "You have to promise me something," you said, voice trembling slightly. What you were going to ask would surely upset him further. But, you had to get this last point across again. "Promise me that you won't be mad if I... if I prioritize keeping Max safe. She's family, and I... I'd do anything to protect her. Even if it means..."

 Your words trailed off as Steve's lips met yours in a sudden, desperate kiss. It was as if he was trying to silence your fears, and drown out the words that threatened to take away his happiness. 

 He pulled back slowly. Keeping his face close to yours, as he searched over the features of your face. "There's no picking between either of you," he said firmly. "We're in this together. We’re gonna beat this creep and save you both. I promise."

 There’s no arguing with him after that. You know the two of you aren’t going to agree on this really. But you’d rather have this standing point than fighting.

 Steve had already begun to lead you back into the Wheeler house when you stopped him, tugging him back in place to get an answer to one last curious thought. 

 “There’s one more thing we need to talk about.” you cleared your throat nervously. 

 “What’s that?” he said, brows furrowed together. 

 “We’ve been doing a lot of things..kissing and more. And it’s gonna mess with us if we don’t really have an endgame in mind about it.” 

 You braced yourself for a more cryptic response from him. Seeing as there were so many other crises at hand. But to your surprise, Steve met your gaze with unwavering sincerity.

 "I still want the same thing I wanted since the break-up," he said softly, eyes filled with a familiar warmth to them. "I want you. But right now, with all this Vecna crap, and your curse, maybe it's best if we just pause that conversation for a better time."

 “Right, pause.” you nodded, getting some sense in his words. But with the two of you, your actions were always a lot different from whatever words were usually spoken. Like right now, he’s holding onto your hand so carefully and close to his side, but continued to think that there was a possibility of pausing what could happen between you guys. “So should we go about this as..friends?”

 He followed your gaze, flickering down to your hands before he gave it a gentle squeeze and continued to lead you in anyway. Leaving no room for rebuttals as he said a final conclusion. 

 "We can try," he said softly, throwing one last look to you. "But we were never really good at being just friends, were we?"

 Thankfully the rest of the night didn’t go on with any more drama between you and the others. At this point, there was only one goal in mind for everyone now. Figuring out how to get rid of Vecna. 

 You were on the floor in between Robin and Steve later on in the night. Trying to write down everything that happened in your nightmare. Going over every bit to see if there was some clue on how you could find Vecna’s weakness. As far as you knew, you were pulled into that physical realm with him. Some version of the Upside Down. Another fact was that you were able to hurt him, not as much as you’d like to, but enough so that escaping was possible.

 Figuring out how you managed to get out whatever fear he had been locked on you was pretty easy. It was Max. She and the music were the two keys you used to gain back some control over yourself. 

 How that would help in the future was the hard part. 

 Eventually everyone in the basement fell in and out of sleep. A few of the others would wake up now and then, whispering to you if you were okay before they checked on Max. At some point, you were able to fall asleep on the floor. 

 But it wasn’t long before your sleep turned into the soft lulls of Crimson and Clover. Possibly pulling you out whatever dream you were about to fall into. Blinking your eyes, you noticed the early morning light peeking into the basement. Shining just the faintest light over all the sleeping bodies that stayed close together. 

 In different circumstances, you’d find it cozy. Like a giant sleepover. If only.

 You attempted to stretch out your legs, trying to get comfortable when you noticed just how warm you were. Looking down, you stared hard at the fabric that was over you. It was Steve’s jacket. Something he must have covered you with during the night. And further past that was Nancy, who was using your right leg to rest her head on. Carefully you reached down and helped push her onto a spare pillow.

 “Did I wake you?” you heard someone whisper. 

 Max, who was out of her spot now, pushed the headphones off her ears momentarily, looking worried at you. 

 “No,” you murmured back, getting up from the floor. You hung the jacket to carefully cover your shoulders, leaving your arms free but keeping that heat in. “I’m starting to think two hours is my quota on sleep these days.” There was a soft snore over from Lucas that had you both freezing. When he didn’t stir,or fall off from his place beside the tv, you both let out a small sigh of relief.

 “Let’s go up.” you whispered, pointing towards the stairs. 

 She quickly agreed and moved around the others, you glanced over to find that Steve managed to curl himself up in a chair. He was tired from what you could tell and the talk last night definitely didn’t help. Leaning down, you pressed a friendly kiss to his cheek before joining Max at the stairs. 

 The two of you quietly made an exit up to the kitchen, careful not to wake the others. It was lucky any of them found sleep in the positions they were in but if they could catch a few moments of sleep, you’d leave them be. At this point you two weren’t the only ones who were looking a little too tired.

 Opening up the door, you peeked inside to find a yawning Karen Wheeler. She was already dressed for the day and setting up the coffee pot. It wasn’t until you and Max entered fully into the kitchen that she finally noticed you both.

 “Good morning, girls.” she said, greeting you both with a warmth in her tone. 

 “Morning.” you both waved. 

 Max turned to you, unsure how to work around the woman considering this was her second time meeting her properly.  “Mind if we hang up here for a bit? We don’t wanna wake the others.” you asked, already pushing Max to join Holly at the table. 

 “Of course!” she nodded. “Breakfast should be ready soon.”

 Giving her a big smile, you joined the other two girls at the table, reaching over for one of the newspapers that had just come in that morning. There was nothing but grim coverage on the investigation. But maybe there was something hopeful you could–

 “I understand that Nancy has invited..all of you to join us this week. But if you don’t mind, I’d like a chance to read the paper first.” 

 You glanced from the table only to be met with a very irritated Ted Wheeler. He always had such a disdain towards most of you, but for some reason it always felt a little more personal with you. 

 “Good morning, Mr. Wheeler!” you chirped, making sure to add to his annoyance. “You’re cheerful today.” you cooed, passing the paper over to him. 

 He muttered something under his breath, earning a stern call out from his wife. She merely pointed over to one of the chairs by the island and raised a brow at him. Not wanting to hear more of his morning commentary, you slipped on your headphones, urging Max to do the same. 

 “What’s with the music?” he frowned, still not having moved yet. “You’re in the kitchen. Talk. Is that something too cool for you kids to do nowadays?”

 You carefully clasped your hands together, tilting your head at Ted. “We’re very enthusiastic about music these days, Mr. Wheeler. It’s almost as if our lives depend on it.. Besides, it’ll give you guys a little peace and quiet, right?”

 He scoffed a bit, giving a shrug. “At least.”

 “Ted!” Karen hissed, pointing again to his new seat. 

 You smugly watched as he did what was ordered. Turning around, you reached out for one of the magazines that Karen had one the shelf behind you. It was thankfully a Vogue magazine. Something to get your brain off Vecna/Curses for just a little bit. 

 Max murmured something to Holly, getting the girl to nod her head to your friend before racing out of the room. When you were about to ask what she was doing, the blonde quickly returned back with papers and crayons. Offering them kindly to Max. 

 “Coloring?” you asked softly, holding out one side of your headphone to listen. 

 “I’m trying to see if I can draw what I saw in..my dream.” 

 You mouthed an ‘o’, thinking it was probably a lot more helpful if she was able to draw out what you guys had seen. Better than you just writing out how creepy everything felt to you. 

 The peace continued for another thirty minutes. Max had already shredded through a couple of papers when you noticed two figures coming in hot from the basement. 

 Both Nancy and Dustin looked completely panicked until they noticed you guys over at the table. You meekly waved at them, taking off your headphones in time to catch what they were talking about to Karen.

 “..Yeah, everything’s okay.” Nancy exhaled. 

 “I think it’s so sweet that you guys are sticking together like this.” She cooed to Nancy.

 “Could try sticking together at a different house for a change.” Ted added, looking through the edges of his paper to the other two. Nancy simply ignored her Father, coming to join you guys at the table. Dustin, very much like you, seemed to naturally move on to egging the man on. 

 Ignoring that tit for tat, you turned to Nancy as she sat down between you and Max. The other girl clicked on the side of her tape player, sliding the headphones off as she greeted Nancy softly. 

 “Hey.” she said to you guys. “You guys okay?”

 Max shrugged, eyes casting down to the table briefly as she mulled her thoughts together. “Just couldn’t sleep.” she explained simply. “People kept blasting music in my ears, for some reason.”

 Nancy chuckled at that before she nodded to you. 

 “Well, I was never one to sleep in on vacations. Figures this one wouldn’t be different.” She raised a brow at your sarcasm, almost ready to chastise you about what you just promised the night before. You quickly stopped that and waved your hands. “The music kept pulling me out.” you sighed, looking away from your friend. 

 “But,” Max interjected. “Henderson got something new to read other than Vecna lore and Holly let me borrow some of her crayons. We’ve been having fun, right, Holly?”

 The little girl didn’t look away from her Light Bright, merely humming a response back to Max.

 Nancy slowly reached out for the various papers that Max had colored in. All of them were glimpses into what you guys had seen. Most of the parts looked familiar, like the bodies of Fred and Chrissy, and one particular door that reminded you of something. 

 “Is this what you guys saw last night?”

 “I mean, it’s supposed to be.” Max sighed, “I thought it’d be easier to draw it out than to explain it, but..not so much.”

 “It’s better than what I did.” you snorted, reaching into your jeans to pull out the folded up pieces of paper. “I wrote for two hours last night and barely wrote down the place I saw. This..” you said waving around the pile of papers. “This is the best thing we’ve got so far.”

 Nancy hesitantly reached over for one paper in particular. “Is that..?”

 The reminding image of the very accurate drawing of Fred and Chrissy pulled a shudder from you. It was already daunting to have the memory of seeing the girl up in the air in your mind. But seeing her presented in such a horrifying way ended up feeling worse. 

 “It was like they were on display or something…and then there was this red fog everywhere.” Max said softly, visible discomfort returning to her face as she talked over her work. “It was like a dream. A nightmare.”

 “Do you think Vecna’s just trying to scare you?” Nancy asked, trying to work a clue in her mind. 

 “With Billy? Yeah. But when I made it here..I dunno, something was different. He seemed surprised, almost. Like he didn’t want me there.” she glanced over at you, waiting for your confirmation.

 “It was different for me.” you said, glancing as Dustin joined the table next. “I think he was grasping at straws at that point. He tried to change my memories. Make them seem worse than what they were. It was easy to spot the difference..after that I sort of stopped being afraid. I was just angry.” 

 The three of them looked at you worried but you simply shook your head. 

 “I wasn’t there as long as Max. Or at least it felt like it.  It didn’t take long for Nance and Robin to pull me out.”

 “Doesn’t explain how you both got there.” Nancy volleyed, still trying to work it together. 

 “Maybe you guys infiltrated his mind.” Dustin offered, joining in finally. “He invaded your minds, right? Is it that big a leap to suggest you somehow wound up in his?” he glanced back at you. “Especially you. After dealing with Max’s failed attempt, he was already panicking like you said.”

 “That sounds..improbable.” you yawned, reaching your hands up to cover your tired face. 

 “It’s like Freddy Krueger’s boiler room.” he went on excitedly.

 “Freddy Krueger?” Holly asked, face contorting a bit at the name. 

 “He’s a super burned-up dude with razors for fingers.” Dustin explained casually, despite your attempt to shake your head at him. “And he kills you in your dreams.”

 “Dustin! Seriously?” Nancy interjected, looking at Dustin with wide eyes. It took only one worried glance at the small girl before he got the hint. 

 “Sorry. It’s a movie. It’s not real.” he said quickly before going back to the main subject. “Just..think about it. What if you somehow unlocked a backdoor to Vecna’s world? Like, maybe the answer we’re looking for is somewhere in this incredibly vague drawing.” You leaned over to peak over at the photo, recalling the familiar flower on the door. “God, we need Will.” 

 “No, shit.” Max said frustratedly. “But I tried them again this morning and it’s the same busy signal.”

 “What the hell, Creep.” you muttered, not liking the idea of still having no contact with the others. At this point you were willing to go into credit card debt if it meant getting all of them on the next flight out back in Hawkins to help with this mess. 

 “Is this a window?” Nancy asked, holding the photo up.

 “Yeah.” 

 “Stained glass with roses.” she continued on.

 “Yeah. See? I’m not so terrible after all.” Max said towards Dustin. He gave a skeptical face before continuing to eat more of his breakfast. 

 “Yeah, well, it helps that I’ve seen it before.” Nancy said, looking intently into the paper. 

 “What’s going on in that head of yours, Nancy Drew?” you asked carefully, watching as she literally began to pick apart all the papers. 

 It was like an art to see as she began to fold the papers in different directions. Placing them out in positions that were seemingly the right place in her mind. You couldn’t help but get up from your seat to stand behind her, watching her literally put the puzzle together before your eyes. 

 She reached over for a sharpie next, beginning to connect the photos with a thick black line. You couldn’t help but gasp at why that door felt so familiar. 

 “It’s pieces of a house.” Max guessed, looking at the drawing. 

 “Not just any house.” Nancy said, finishing up her final touch. The flower door was placed directly in the middle of the puzzle. Completing her work. “It’s Victor Creel’s house.”

 You helped gather up the pieces of paper, wordlessly following her towards the basement. Dustin and Max were still sitting at the table, confused by everything that just happened. 

 “Where are you guys going?” he asked, mouth full.

 “Waking the others.”

 “I just don’t see it.” 

 “How can you not see it?”

You were sitting between Dustin and Steve in the back of Nancy’s car, eyes closed as you listened in to their conversation that had originally started as clue building, but turned into Dustin trying to convince Steve on a more fictional theory. 

 “Well, it just doesn’t match the rules of the movie is all.” Steve muttered. You didn’t even need to take a look at him to know he was already pouting. 

 “Think about it, man. Freddy is attacking teens in their sleep, which results in them being killed in the real world!

 “Right, right. But in this case, most of the victims haven’t even been asleep when they’ve fallen into a Vecna attack.”

 “Regardless, both of them use the brain as an access into getting into their victims minds.”

 You finally opened your eyes to look over at them. “Hey guys?” Both boys snapped their heads in your direction. “Can you shut up? For like one minute?”

 They waved you off, returning to their conversation in a lower volume thankfully and you finally got some relaxation for the rest of the ride. You were already anxious about where you guys were heading, and their small bickering was only adding to that. 

 “Allright,” you heard Nancy say from up front. “We’re here.” 

 The car came to a hard brake, causing the three of you in the back to fall over each other. There was a bit of struggle to sit back up, but Lucas eventually pulled the door open, allowing you guys to pile out. You could hear Steve mutter something about bad driving under his breath before he turned around to give you a helping hand. 

 He waited patiently until you were correctly on the ground again to adjust your headphones that had started to fall off from moving around so much. It was doting and sweet enough that you couldn’t resist teasing him.  

 “It’s not on right now, your highness.” you mentioned, watching as he continued to silently fuss over getting pieces to place right. 

 “No harm in keeping it ready.” he shrugged, shooting you a small smile. 

 You chuckled at his mothering, nodding your head a little before moving forward to join the others. 

 The sight of the grand house is daunting. It’s from a part of town you’ve never visited and you’re shocked to see that it hasn’t been condemned and destroyed yet. “Yeah, that’s not creepy.” you heard Steve comment behind you.

Nancy led the others towards the door, reaching over to Robin to take one of the hammers she brought from her garage. Steve quickly took the other one and moved to the other side and began to pull out the nails that held the wooden cover up. 

 “What exactly are we supposed to be looking for in this shithole?” he asked, pulling out another nail. 

 “We’re not sure.” Nancy replied honestly. “We just know this house is important to Vecna.”

 “Because Max and Trouble saw it in Vecna’s red soup mind world?”

 “Basically.”

 “Great.”

 You crossed your arms, wondering if you should tell them it was mostly just bits of the house in said soup world, but considering Max was definitely in there a lot longer than you, you’d have to take her word on it. 

 “Maybe it holds a clue to where Vecna is. Why he’s back, why he’s killed the Creels, and how to stop him before he comes back for these two.” Dustin said, pointing between you and Max. From the side you could see as Lucas grew weary. 

 “We..don’t think he’s in here, do we?” he asked hesitantly. 

 It was a beat of silence before Max gave off the only acceptable answer. 

 “Guess we’ll find out.”

 All of you took a step back, allowing Nancy and Steve to allow the wooden slab to fall against the floor. Dust and leaves filled the air a bit and you let out a small cough before looking over to the reveal of the front door. Just like in Max’s drawing, the rose was stained right on the front door. 

 Steve reached over to try and open the door. Looking frustrated already before he glanced back to everyone. “It’s locked. Should I knock, see if anybody’s home?” he called out sarcastically. 

 “Yeah, well, no shit it’s locked it’s condemned.” you sighed, looking at the door carefully. “I’m surprised the door is still standing by the looks of this place.” 

 “Obviously, I know that, Henderson.” he frowned, looking over his shoulder. “You and Nancy were the ones who came rushing in to tell us this is where we needed to go. How do you expect me to get us in? Call a locksmith?”

 “No need.”

 All of you turned around to spot Robin standing with a small smug look on her face. She simply raised her hand, revealing a thick, coppery, brick in her hand. 

 “I’ve found a key.”

 You had to close your eyes after watching as Steve stepped over to take the brick from her hands. Assuming he launched it right through the decorative flower. The confirming sound of glass shattering perked in your ears. 

 Peeking an eye open, you saw as Steve carefully reached in through the hole and opened up the door from the inside. 

 From just the doorway you could tell that the house was far worse on the inside. Life had stopped existing here decades ago, and from the cobwebs and stale stench, you figured not even looters took interest in it.

 A flashlight was pushed into your hands by Dustin and you quickly turned it on to get a better view of the place. “You know, it’s kinda funny,” you said, moving to glance into the first room on your left. “I was sent here for getting in trouble with the law, but I’m pretty sure I’ve broken more since coming to Hawkins.”

 “No way..” Dustin said, looking at you skeptically. “How many we talking?”

 “Well, we had an unlicensed gun back at Jonathan’s house and were all minors so that’s probably a misdemeanor.” You pointed over to Nancy, which she nodded. “Then I allowed a kid to drive a car, so that’s probably child endangerment.” Max was the next one to give confirmation. “Then I did that again in Starcourt with you and Erica, plus trespassing. Now I’m doing that again, plus breaking and entering.”

 Steve had paused his searching to look over at you. Face scrunched in shock as he took in all the criminal work that’s managed to pile up this whole time. 

 “Wait a minute, I was with you at some of those..”

 “From what I remember, you were with me during all of them.”

 He shook his head, turning back to face the stairs again. “Shit.” he muttered softly.

 Waving him off, the group continued to peer around. From your right, you watched as Lucas attempted to turn on one of the lamps. It weakly gave off a few clicks before he gave up. “Looks like someone forgot to pay their electric bill.”

 Dustin clicked his flashlight, giving a small soundless agreement. The rest of the group followed the same, turning on theirs as they slowly ventured towards different directions. 

 “Where’d everyone get those?” Steve asked, a slight disappointment in his tone. 

 For some reason, that seemed to irk Dustin as he turned to his friend, giving him a look before he gave a curt response. “Do you need to be told everything? You’re not a child.”

 Steve simply stared back at him. Holding back a surge of anger that you knew could easily come out when talking to your cousin. That tone was all too familiar at home. But unlike you, Steve could not easily just break out in violence and attack Dustin. Instead, all he could do was merely give him a disapproving look.

 “Thank you.” he huffed back. 

 “Mhm.” he said, slipping off the backpack to push in his hands. “Back pocket.”  

 The two of you watched as he walked away, leaving behind Steve, as he reached in the bag for the last flashlight. He was shaking his head to himself when he glanced over at you. “Can you believe this guy?” he asked incredulously, dropping the bag down on the ground. 

 “I know,” you agreed, shaking your head. “I keep telling my Aunt. She really needs to knuckle down on getting rid of that damn attitude of his.” 

 “Seriously!” Steve said, holding a hand out in Dustin’s direction. “She’s got three more years of dealing with that. The kid’s gonna give her an ulcer.” 

 You chuckled a little at that, earning a small smile from him before nodding back to what you guys were supposed to be doing. 

 “Hey guys?”

 Max quickly caught your attention, bringing all of you to focus on what she was staring at. 

 “You all see that, right?”

 At first you weren’t sure what she was looking at until your light flashed over the clock. Instantly there was a loud tick that ran through you. Causing you to stumble back slightly. “Holy shit.” you whispered, hand gripping onto the bannister to keep yourself in place.

 “Is this what you saw in your visions?” Nancy asked.

 Max only nodded her head, keeping her gaze glued to the object that seemed to still be ticking. Or was that in your head? You quickly shook out that thought, reaching over for Dustin, who was now watching you carefully. 

 “I mean, it’s..just a clock.” Robin said, leaning over towards Max. “Right?”

 She made it a point to walk over to the clock. Rubbing her hand over the glass and wiping away some of the dust. “Like a normal old clock.” she continued, looking over to the group again. You let go of Dustin to rub at your forehead. 

 “Why’s this wizard obsessed with clocks?” Steve said, slowly putting together his thoughts. “Maybe he’s, like, a clockmaker or something?”

 “I think you cracked the case, Steve.” Dustin replied sarcastically, earning another unamused look from Steve. You leaned in this time to give your cousin a light shove on the shoulder, tired of him picking on the poor guy for trying to help.

 “Clockmaker might be off, but the guy is definitely obsessed with time.” you retorted. 

 “All I know is the answers are here..somewhere.” Nancy said, bringing back the focus from the three of you. “Okay, everyone stay in groups. Robin, upstairs.” she said, pointing to the girl to follow after her. Robin gave off a salute, winked over at you, and quickly moved to join after her. 

 Max rushed over to grab onto Lucas, dragging him with her towards the living room. Leaving the three of you standing in the foyer. It was inevitable that the others would leave you guys behind. With the amount of bickering that had been building up today. Still, you were only a little bit hurt to basically be the last one picked on a team. 

 Steve, who was still annoyed, reached down to lace your hand into his free one. Sighing as he led the two of you past Dustin towards the stairs. The boy stayed below, shocked at the sound his friend just made. 

 “Was that a sigh?” Dustin asked, taken back.

 “No, I did not sigh.” 

 “I’m pretty sure he sighed.” you teased, earning a squeeze to your hand. 

 “Please don’t help.” he muttered to you, making you giggle a little. “Don’t do that either.”

 “Why’d you sigh?”

 “I didn’t sigh. Just come on, dude.” 

 Already you could tell how this part of the search party was going to go, but considering the amount of stress and theatrics that have been going on between the group these past couple of days. The normalcy of bickering with these two brought a small sense of comfort. 

 “I heard you. So did she!” 

 “Well we’re just always partners, okay?” Steve tried, making the answer so much worse. You stole a look down, watching as Dustin attempted to catch up. Eyes narrowed at Steve’s back. 

 “What, you have a problem with that?”

 “Yeah Steve, do you hate us or something?” He gave you a look, hopeful for you egging on to stop but you can’t stop yourself. 

 “No! It’d just be nice to, I don’t know, mix it up a bit.”

 “I’m boring you? Is that it?”

 “No, the opposite!”

 At the top of the steps, you carefully unlaced your hand from Steve’s. Watching as a small pout formed on his lips. “And what about me? Should I go look by myself? Since you’re so interested in trying to mix things up. I figure working with just Dustin should be fine.”

 “Okay, no, that’s not–”

 “I’ll leave you two to settle on things.”

 Patting at his arm, you playfully pushed past him and made your way to take the charge down the hall. Not far enough that you’d abandoned the two, but enough so that you could only hear their bickering at a much quieter tone.

  Sometime later you eventually did wander around the top floor by yourself. Not too far from the others, but close enough that you only needed to be a room ahead. The soft sounds of the music eased you as you looked through drawers and tables for anything that might feel important. 

 Unfortunately, there seemed to be very little clue on anything in this house, other than that damn clock downstairs. You were just about to enter the bathroom across the room you were in when suddenly the sound of a glass shattering cut through the end of the song. Steve burst out from the middle of the room, yelping as he wiped across his arms quickly. 

 He accidentally collided into you, which nearly made you crash backwards into Nancy, who caught you two from falling. 

 “Whoa, whoa! What’s wrong?” she asked, looking concerned. 

 “There was a spider. It’s a black widow.” he clarified, which instantly made you panic, rushing to pat away all over your body. You paused the tape, ready to look over him when you realized that he’d also just bumped into you. 

 “Ew Steve! So you brought it over to get it on me?” you hissed, ripping off the headphones from your head, feeling suddenly like there were spiders all over you.

 “No, no, you’re fine!” he said quickly, trying to stop you from flailing around. He used one hand to hold onto yours while reaching over with the other to close up the bathroom quickly. “Uh..don’t go in there.”

 “Okay.” Nancy said slowly before she caught something at the back of his head. “Oh oh, wait just..”

 “What? Is there something? Shit.” he panicked, rushing to a mirror to check his hair. 

 “Wait, stop moving!” Nancy ordered as she glanced over at you. “Keep him still, I got it. I got it.” Quickly, you grabbed his arms now, holding him in place so that she could take out whatever was stuck in his hair. 

 “Thank you.” he breathed out, still slightly panicked before he gazed down at you. “And you too.”

 “Shouldn’t Nance be thanking me?” you chuckled a little.

 “If there’s a spider, you’re never gonna find it till it lays eggs and the babies spill out.” 

 You peeked over his shoulder to see Robin smiling down the hall. Ever ready to get in a jab at her friend. Steve couldn’t help but go back to being slightly exasperated at his friend as she snickered past the three of you. 

 “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, genuine hurt in his voice. “Robin, seriously!”

 “Just ignore her like I like to do sometimes.” you urged, trying to regain his focus so that he didn’t go after her just to tell her off with cobwebs still in his hair.  

 He looked a little tired but still chuckled a bit. “She’s got problems.”

 “Tell me about it.” Nancy commented, still tending to her work on the big mess that was his hair. Lord knows she’d be there forever if he didn’t get somewhat of a haircut recently. 

 “It’s cool you guys are all friends now.” he mentioned, “Maybe after we find Vecna, kill him, save the world and stuff, maybe we can all go out.”

 You liked the casual way he pulled out the list of problems ahead of you guys. Glancing over his shoulder, you noticed that Nancy seemed to share the same sentiment as she smiled, a hint of mirth on her lips. 

 “You know? Me, you guys, Robin, Jonathan, when he’s back.”

 He’s trying to bring things back to normal. Keep it friendly like you two had planned. But there’s something endearing about him casually planning a group outing after dealing with such impossible forces that had you feeling another way.

 “Yeah? All of us squeezed into your Jalopy on the way to Pop’s Diner?” you asked, letting go of him to casually pat over the front of his jacket. Trying to stop yourself from resting your hand on his heart like usual. He chuckled a little, nodding his hand as his hands moved to rub lightly at your arms. 

 “I’ll even buy everyone milkshakes.” he shrugged. 

 From the side of your eye, you caught  Nancy as she gave you an approving nod. Seeming to like where the conversation was going. 

 “Sounds kinda nice.”

 “Yeah, it’s like a friend thing. You know? It’s not like a date. I’m not dating, you’re not dating. Robin and I are definitely not. You know that right?” he stuttered a bit.

 That pulled a small chuckle out of you, making you want to tease him a little more for being so nervous. Instead, you tried to keep the mood light with him and nodded your head in agreement. 

 “Definitely not dating, right Nance?” 

 “Yup. She made that very clear.” Nancy said, pointing over to the girl in question. 

 “Platonic with a capital P.” Robin confirmed from down the hall.

 “Yep! Thank you.” he called out to her. He glanced over his shoulder to Nancy, giving her a quick thanks too, before his eyes returned to look at you. 

 Peeking over his shoulder, you gave Nancy a small nod, giving her the go now that she was finished helping fix out his hair so that you two had a moment to yourselves. Steve waited until she was back in another room with Robin before he leaned down closer. 

 “I’m surprised Dustin hasn’t tried to sway you into dating her, actually. Seems like something he’d do.”

 “I would date her, it’s just the fact she’s..well, not yo–, no, well, it’s just that she really isn’t the person I’m into at that moment.” he got out finally, reaching a hand up so that he could tuck a stray hair away from your face. 

 He seemed to be stumbling more than usual, and you wondered if it was because something else was bothering him or just his poor attempt at keeping things friendly. Which, should have been a sign for you to back off, but you weren’t so sure you had the heart to do that just yet. Not when you haven’t had a normal moment since this damn spring break started. 

 “Right, not into her. ” you murmured softly, using a free hand to fix the small bangs over his forehead. “Glad we established that.” 

 Steve closed his eyes for a second, reveling in your touch before he snapped back to reality. Clearing his throat a bit as he gestured towards the hall. “Guess we should, uh, get back to the investigation.”

 “Right, clues and all that.” you said softly, letting your hands fall back to your sides. You stepped to the side, ready to go when Steve spoke up again. 

 “The obvious things are not what people observe.” he said carefully, face slowly turning in pain as he tried to get whatever quote was on his mind. “Or Do..Don’t observe. Or…Sherlock Holmes.”

 It was so unbelievably cute, so charming, that you couldn’t stop as a grin spread over your lips. Not thinking much about the mess up, you leaned up to press a kiss against his cheeks. Needing to convey some sort of affection to him before you lost it and kissed him silly. 

 “Elementary, my dear Watson.” you said, using your best English accent. “Lead the way?”

 He shook his head, a shy, embarrassed smile on his face as he held your hand again to lead you down the hall. Leaving the two of you to miss out on a pair of girls very amused from the other side. 

  The search eventually led everyone to reconvene back in the foyer. The sight of the room’s light fixture seemed to catch everyone’s attention. It was glowing in and out. Like heart beating. It felt oddly familiar.

 “It’s like the Christmas lights.” Nancy whispered, on the same mindset as you apparently. 

 “The Christmas lights?” Robin asked, voice just as hushed as hers. 

 “Yeah, when Will was in the Upside down, the lights..came to life.”

 “The same thing happened in Eddie’s trailer..” you added, not able to tear your eyes off it.

 “Vecna’s here.” Lucas said next, “In this house. Just on the other side.”

 But just as sudden as Lucas’ conclusion came, the light died down. Darkening the room as if it just heard Lucas’ accusation. “I think he just left the room.” you heard Robin say. 

 “Did he hear us?” Max asked, glancing at you.

 “He would have made that known a while ago, wouldn’t he?” you said back, turning to see Steve frown.

 “Can he see us?” he said, sounding a bit worried.

 “Headphones, guys.” Lucas urged, the redhead beside you was quick to place hers back on. Right as you were about to put yours on, another pair of hands came and pulled them back up to yours and pressed play on the tape player. 

 You turned to find Robin giving you a friendly smile as she patted your back supportively. 

 “Wait, wait.” Nancy said, sounding a little muffled amongst the song. “Everyone, turn off your flashlights and spread out.”

 Nodding your head, you watched as the others listened to her orders and dispersed quickly from the room. You gave Steve a small wave at his confused face before going in a different direction. 

 Most of the rooms continued to stay dark. No signs of Vecna or any lights he might be trying to talk through. You were only a little thankful to have to listen to music, thinking it might be creepier to search through the place in the dark with just the ambient sounds that came from old homes. But being alone did send a small chill up your spine now and then. 

 Thankfully, it didn’t take long until you heard the sounds of a breakthrough from Robin.

 “I GOT HIM!”

 Everyone followed to the source of the noise, finding Robin with a flashlight pointed up to the ceiling. But very quickly did her light die out. 

 “Uh- I had him.”

 Just as fast, it moved onto Steve’s next. Lighting up at the next host.

 “Oh, whoa.” he muttered, looking down at his hand. “Oh, I think he’s moving. He’s moving! He’s moving!” The rest of you quickly stalked after him like baby ducks following their Mother. Past the foyer, up the stairs until it suddenly stopped again. 

 “Shit,” he sighed. “I lost him.”

 “No, you didn’t.” Max corrected him, moving past the group towards a door. From beneath the wood, a small light seeped through. Opening up, she revealed another flight of stairs that led to the attic. An orangey glow that breathed just like the light from down below. 

 All of you squeezed together, peering up the steps as Max and Steve took the lead. You held in your breath, not quite ready for what creepy sight you might find up there. 

 “It’s an attic. Of course it’s an attic.” Robin sighed, weary of the venture up. You gave her back a pat, moving to follow after next. 

 “Hold up, guys. What if he’s leading us into a trap?” Dustin called, still at the bottom of the steps. But no one seemed to pay that notion any attention as you piled out into the room. You could hear the small curses from your cousin as he quickly ran up. 

 The light started to turn more erratic. Pulsating at a much faster speed than before. 

 “Flashlights.” Dustin called out. 

 Everyone glanced down to their hands. Noticing just now how they all started to come to life. But what did it mean? Was he coming closer? Was he there now? Was he getting stronger? All questions that you wanted answers to. 

 The group formed a circle around the main light, pointing their flashlights towards the source and watched as it seemed to get an even bigger surge of power. 

 “Okay, what’s happening?” you heard Steve ask. 

 It was almost as if his inquiry triggered a response. One by one the flashlights all began to burst. Shattering before each of you as the room began to darken. A chill ran down your back and you felt your heartbeat quicken until finally the fixture on top of you all blew up. 

 In the distance, you thought for a moment that you could hear the familiar sound of the clock ticking again.  “What the hell was that?” Robin whispered, coming up beside you. You stepped forward, peering up at the broken bulb as the small wiring of metal began to die out.

 “No idea.” you said to her, slipping your headphones back on.  “But I feel like something’s just happened..”

A/N: Going through Stancy scenes was a bit rough. I really did not know how to rewrite it to keep it canon but also not lol. But, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I admit I feel it’s a bit back and forth on feelings. But I didn’t want it to be stuck in such a melodrama the whole time. Plus, it’s a lot of stuff to work in so please be kind~ 

TAGGING LIST: 

@cluz1babe​, @starofavolonea​, @primroseluna​, & @siriuslysmoking​​

[pascalsbby]

The Devil & His Brother

Joel x Tommy x You

Prologue / Part I : 6.4K / Part II

Summary: The Devil was begging you to forgive him, and you wanted to. You wanted to bring your palms together and whisper his name through the cracks, hoping he would hear your silent prayer. “Let me stay here, with you.” He would get down on his knees and pray to your altar. He would bless it first, kiss it clean, before he would send two fingers to spread open your love.

Warnings: 18+ mdni, eventual smut. enemies to lovers, slow-burn, angst/comfort/sex, age gap, power imbalance, possessive tendencies, drugs/pills/alcohol, major daddy issues (that’s why you need BOTH miller brother’s instead of 1). talk of death, shit-talking god & the devil himself.

This was a labor of love, please comment, reblog, & let me know what you think <3

I will take a crowbar and pry out the broken pieces of God in me.

- Anne Carson

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

Your soul was given to another man before you had even yearned for the rage to scratch it back yourself- have a choice in the matter of your own eternity. Two eyes looking down upon you, gazing into the depth of your skull. Where the fuck was he, when his children were screaming on their knees for his forgiveness, for whatever they had done to deserve this?

You couldn’t remember your own baptism- despite seeing countless bodies pushed underwater, coming back anew. Later in life, not coming back up at all. Drowning sinfully sin-less. You were thankful now, that the hard stuff was done when you weren’t old enough to know it- or deny it. You wouldn’t have washed yourself clean for him, drown for him, now.

You were angry at him- you had every right to be. You were utterly alone in a world that was trying to devour you whole by sinking one tooth into any part of your tender flesh. Your eternal soul was saved (given) to a hand in the sky before you even knew what a God was, what he was capable of, what he would allow, and you had suffered for it during life. But now, when it mattered most, you didn’t have to do a goddamn thing but lay here and die. Yet he wasn’t doing his part. What a fucking surprise.

He never came like all the people said he would, like the Bible said. There was no reckoning. Even he was too scared of what he created.

“I ain’t no God, sweetheart.” The sound reverberated through his throat in a sickly Southern accent. He might as well have been. His thick arms were the ones holding you, warming you against the soft flannel. You haven’t been touched by another human in a long time, and the veins running through his arms were suddenly whispering love stories into your own running blood. His hands were so big.

They refused your pleas. “Please, if you don’t do it just hand me the gun.” Always met with a thickly harsh, “don’t think so,” from the one who shot you. The younger one is somehow quieter than the first. You had been full of anger for years, but it didn't seem as heavy as it normally would, despite barking, “You already tried once and failed, let me do it myself then.” He looked at you, surprised that you wasted your breath in such a manner, it had barely come out of the back of your throat to begin with. He huffed a laugh as he turned his head back to his brother before looking straight into the dark night again, focusing on something that wasn't even there. Focusing on anything that wasn’t you.

You were used to men not following through. Your father was the ‘savior’ (born-again post-outbreak pastor)(liar) of a small group, all now a couple of feet underground, frozen in the decomposing water of themselves- and whoever was lucky enough to be thrown in the dug-up hole on top of them. Baptized over and over as the ground warmed in the spring and froze again in the winter. Perpetually drowning until they become what they were trying to escape all along- food for the earth to devour.

We didn’t burn them, because that would have given us away, invited anyone near to pluck the last of us out, but fire would have been easier. But we don’t do easy, not here. We gather whoever is responsible for your already rotting body and make them throw you into the ground, all in the name of God. You had written a lot into your leather-bound notebook, at first not wanting to fill the pages, because once the paper was gone, there was nowhere else to rip the thoughts out of your head, let them bleed through the pages. You read that specific entry over and over, having memorized it by now, making crinkles in the dusty pages from how many times you turned back to it and prayed to a God that wasn’t there to save them- you.

He was never planning on it.

Your journal was the same color as the Devil’s eyes, darkened honey-brown, alive. You didn’t have many places to look whenever you did have enough spite in you to open your own, body swaying from side to side on a horse that wasn’t yours, in a man's lap that you didn’t know. He looked pretty, even from below, even more so leaning his chin downwards towards your face and gazing up your body. I guess anything safe looks heavenly amidst fire.

Why would they do that? Kill you and then take you along for the ride. They hadn't spoken much for however many days you had been dying, watching as the sun kissed the sky goodnight and welcomed the moon, at least three times. Maybe you were bait for something even bigger- a young woman goes a long way these days. Always has, really.

You had always harbored a deep fear of death. It wasn't exactly the physical suffering that frightened you, but rather the haunting notion of losing loved ones. The consequences of deviating from the life path thrown on you by your parents. There was always this looming presence of the ‘evil’. The Devil… Lucifer, Satan, whatever moniker you choose. In the narrative your parents scripted for you, he was cast as the villain. It was all too funny now, his thighs warming your skin, setting you ablaze.

Lucifer was a beautiful, Southern gentleman- one who spoke quickly and stern. And God sat right next to him, mouth shut, waiting for command. You were so tired of following orders from men but suddenly it’s as if you’ve known all along that his gaze would be the one you melted under. Sludge. Burning flesh. Maybe there was no God. Sure, the other man who sat next to him looked like one, but so does this one. He was an idea, the fear instilled in you, your parents' guilt. But you knew evil more than you knew true good, and the Devil was below you, only cementing that truth further. He was keeping you right here, draped across his lap, and despite your dying, he still caught glimpses of your naked flesh. And you didn’t know if it was eyes burning into you, or the gunshot wound he had so nicely gifted you. You almost wanted to thank him, if that’s what it took for him to wrap himself around you.

Romans 6:4 hung on a carved board in your parent's room after the first wave of death. After your father decided that the group needed someone to lead them, and that your mother wasn’t it, she sat back happily and carved words into worn wood. You had felt safe there, sixteen and under the guise of whatever your parents told you. Young, naive, pure.

‘We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. We’re now dead to the power of sin. Being raised from the water.’ It later hung in the main room of a run-down grocery store turned Church. The church itself was down the street, the rotten door holding in rotten bodies from whoever had come before. Maybe they had sat and awaited the way you all did at first, waiting for their savior. He never rang the doorbell, never knocked. He had just walked right on by, whistling his hymns and being grateful he was above it all.

A new life? If Jesus died for our sins, wouldn’t he be upset with you right now? Laying on your… death horse…. And still not bruising your knees for him? Why can’t he be angry enough to let you slip out of line and take the easier way? I guess suffering wasn’t his go-to, at least outwardly. Fear was more his thing, and fear would eat you alive and cement your veins before true sin ever could. Guilt is what gnaws at your ankles, whispering poetry into your hair. Fear had passed. Anger had too, momentarily. Rage was a common home.

He should have taken you by now, held your hand and kissed your forehead goodnight. But you knew that he wasn’t coming. He never came for your parents either, nor your brother. You waited each time by their bodies, but he never called, never even picked up the goddamn phone.

He promised resurrection to people who needed something to hang on to. Promises made to be broken. God was more comfortable than death. You repeated it over and over as a prayer to those who had lost someone. We all have. Your dads own voice booming through the quiet. Now, you are losing yourself.

But really, there was no more you, not really. Maybe the horse knew too, bucked you off, and laughed as you felt the thud of the ground under your shoulder blades, because suddenly there was no air left in the entire dwindling world. The snow that was kicked up into your face from the weight of your body wasn’t melting as it would have before. You were cold. There was no world. There was just endless pain before a bout of relief. Not even enough to fill your lungs in one breath in or out. Even the horse knew you were dead weight. Every animal fighting for its survival. That’s why you were shot, too.

You scared the Devil and he took it upon himself to punish you.

At least that’s what you convince yourself as you lay dying on the cold, unforgiving ground, the weight of your pain bore down on your frail body- words trying to come out in shallow gasps. He wasn’t coming.

“Please,” you begged.

You heard shuffling, and then a shadow covered the setting moon above you. The all-to-familiar sound of his boots gaining on your still body. You could still smell him, had been able to this entire time you had been on his horse, in his lap. You could feel the pressure of his fingers rapidly squeezing your cheeks, feeling for blood flow, then the burning of his fingers on your neck, looking for signs of life amidst the dark night. Finally, he was touching you again. Maybe now he would kill you, too. His final gift.

“Fuck,” he hissed. That muttered obscenity made you feel more alive. “Get the fuckin’ horse away from her Tommy.” You heard the reins of the animal you were sat upon being pulled, and the hooves cascading further into the night. He returned to you, the coolness of his rings stung against your face, the cool air keeping them cold despite the warmth of his body. The bullseye tattoo, the only indication of who was touching you besides his smell. You had seen it multiple times throughout the rising and falling of the sun. It had cupped your body against his. He holds your face, as he leans into you, bullseye sitting right beneath your chin.

Throw a dart and it would hit you right in the throat- where you wanted him. Where you wanted him to breathe life into you again.

“Please. Help me go home.” Home hasn’t existed in years. You’d been unconscious for days.

“Shhh. No point in talkin' baby. Hurts too much. We’re goin’ home.” You looked up at him and despite the hardness of his exterior, you saw the understanding in his eyes. Just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared back into his skull.

Almost how a lighter ignites, flickers, warms, almost unbearable but not quite. The wind blows the fire to your fingers, stings, then disappears. As did his burning gaze. The feeling of putting out a cigarette as it shoves its last bit of self out into the world, smoke followed by nothing, simultaneously.

That was him, you would come to find out, as his silhouette and his own warmth flees from your touch. As the brown from his eyes turns to black as your own close. He sighs.

The snow crunches under his weight as he assesses how to pick you back up.

“And you ain’t goin’ anywhere but where I take you. Got it?” A half-attempted nod before a sigh of pain.

You didn’t know where you were going- why, you were still alive… or whatever this in-between was. All you know is that you prayed to the Devil. And he answered.

He was the only one who ever answered.

-

The return to Jackson was painful, the remnants of a long-ago shattered world marred the landscape. As they neared home, the journey became colder, perhaps another reason why it remained a well-hidden place- not many people made it there alive. Joel and Tommy, ever vigilant, guided the two horses with unwavering resolve, constantly scanning the horizon for any indications of danger. Meanwhile, they carried the injured girl, whose body was only partially present after being thrown from the horse three days ago, blankets thrown atop. It had been five days since she was shot. Since Joel shot her.

The way you looked up at him every once in a while was breathtaking- it was too much of a painful reminder that he’d lost (or will lose) everything he’s ever cared about. He could see it in your eyes, the confusion of who and where you were. Watching life move through someone's body and out of their eyes used to be a victorious occasion. It meant he succeeded, that he was still alive regardless of the mangled bodies he left behind. But this felt different to him. You were so godamn young and he plays the scream ripping through your throat over and over an- he swears he didn’t pull the trigger. Joel's gruff voice broke through the haze of silence that had fallen upon them days ago and never left. He broke through his own circling thoughts. As he spoke to Tommy a mixture of concern and guilt for your being broke through, he felt it in his throat, his chest. He didn't want to be responsible for this death, but he sure as hell didn’t want to know you either. Because knowing someone only meant more pain.

“We've been carryin’ her for days, Tommy. How much longer can she hold on like this? No point in bringin’ a dead girl home.”

Denial was a motherfucker, wasn’t it?

Joel knew of death- he didn’t believe in shit besides such. He used to be a God-fearing man but knew if he ever had the chance to stand in front of him he’d rip him in two and gnaw on the pieces of his holiness.

-

Tommy knew of death too, even before the outbreak, but the difference was that he also believed in life. He knew exactly why Joel had that scar, even though they’d never talked about it. It was a quiet understanding, one he never pushed or even poked and prodded.

Tommy's response was laced with a fear, for what Joel had done, but empathy for what he knows he sees every single time he looks down upon you. "We're almost there, Joel. She's tough, you know that. She should have died from that wound but she’s still breathin’, that counts f’something. We'll get her to Jackson, n’ she'll have a chance." He kept looking into his brother's eyes before pulling away and looking ahead into the blinding white. If he said what he really wanted, he wouldn’t stop. “You fuckin’ shot her but now you want to save her? Make up your fuckin’ mind.” The least he could do is help him save someone, even if it’s just for Joel’s sake, especially after he couldn't save Sarah. ‘Least he could do is keep his mouth shut.

Joel was the last person he had- the only person. Ellie didn’t even love him like she loved Joel. It’s always the broken, harsh ones that receive the most attention. People spend so much time trying to put broken people back together that they don’t realize the others are teetering with one foot over the edge.

They’d gone outside the walls because funny enough, they thought it would be more safe this time of year, the dead of winter. Ellie had begged for months for the boys to take her out with them and show her this and that. She was getting homesick for a place she never truly loved. She was tired of sitting still inside walls of safety when everyone she had ever loved was buried outside of them. Tess came along too, providing an extra line of safety, ‘just in case’.

Tommy remembers Joel whispering, “There's somethin’ coming.” More so someone, you. A moment later, a gunshot, a thudding body. Joel was normally calm on the trigger, rifle in hand, looking down the barrel of the gun, aimed at his prey. But Ellie was there, Tommy, and Tess. His people. There was no time to fuck around, so he didn’t. Tommy understood. But that didn’t make it right in his head. His brother was never patient in the moments that mattered the most.

-

One evening, about ten hours from wherever the fuck they were taking you, the sun began to set, setting ablaze a warm glow over the frozen landscape. You had been awake, more so than the past couple of days, looking up at the moving clouds in the sky, watching as his chest moved and released more air into the sky, breathing visible and dancing in the cold. The horse beneath you abruptly stopped and the two men descended their spots atop of them, stretching their legs and gaining more control of their tired bodies.

“You’re awake,” the younger one let out, moving his focus from the soft mumbles he was giving to the other man. “‘Bout time we clean your wound again, see how it’s doing.” You let out a faint, “mm” and attempted to sit up. “No. We’ll get ya off the horse. Be still,” the other said. The Devil grabbed the water and reached up to you, his fingers moved across your face as he gathered your wandering hair and moved it away from your lips. He turned the canister upwards, slowly, letting you drink from it. “Thank you,” you managed. It was the first time he heard your voice not mangled with absolute fear. He stared, eyes roaming the silence, looking ever-so surprised that you had said anything at all, and so clearly at that.

The angel moved closer and reached out his hand, thinking now was a good time to introduce himself to you. “Tommy, Miller. This is my brother, Joel.” he looked toward him. Joel forced an upside-down grin and nodded his head toward you. “You…” pointing towards the one called Joel, “you shot me.” Silence followed, it was heavy, thick. “I didn- Thought you were dangerous, came around that corner too fast.”

“I wasn’t even armed, I-“

“Don’t wanna talk bout’ it.” he huffed, almost angrily. You opened your mouth again, wanting to rattle off one of three hundred questions that you had, but he looked you over once more, and then turned around and walked off. Tommy, with gentle hands, tenderly lifted your body off of the saddle and carried you towards the fire Joel was nursing. The crackling of a campfire and the scent of cooked food filled the air as they set to work, tending to your wounds with diligence that spoke to Tommy's belief that you would be okay (You had to be. He couldn’t fail Joel again. Couldn’t watch as his face fell with the realization that you were completely dead).

His fingers were deft as he cleaned your wounds, his touch sending shivers down your spine. He saw the goosebumps rise, and felt them, as the fire lit your skin. You caught glimpses of concern in his eyes, a silent reassurance that he was determined to see you through this. Joel's presence was a constant anchor, as he spoke into the fire, keeping it lit. They laid out blankets, far too many for just two people to be carrying alone, and sat you atop and below them.

The rest of the night had been filled with your echoing screams, Joel’s palm across your mouth, “Stop screamin’ or someone is gonna find us.” Sure, stop screaming while dirty, whiskey-cleaned fingers are prodding at your open wound. Not even a sorry moved past his lips.

Joel laid down on one side of you, Tommy on the other. “M’ sorry,” he whispered towards you. They both smelled of sweat and whiskey. Their chests rolled and fell at different times, Joel murmuring in his sleep once he finally stopped looking around the parameter. You could tell they were brothers.

-

It was night when the three of you arrived ‘home’. You heard a young girl's voice above the gathering crowd.

“Joel!” She parted the gathering crowd as the patter of quickening footsteps approached. His head whipped quickly, finding her immediately.

“What the fuck?”

“Ellie,” he warned.

“You can’t fucking do that Joel, I thought you…We made it home three days ago. Tess dragged me by my hair but I-”

“Good,” he huffed back, “Where is she?” Ellie blustered but gave up arguing.

Multiple men gathered around and took the blankets off your body, the air hissing through your torn clothes. You whimpered as they moved your body off of Joel’s horse. He didn’t say anything to you, instead he turned and followed Ellie out of the crowd, carrying the reins with him.

You were carefully carried to a bigger two-story home on the outskirts of the city. As the night turned towards the morning sun, you found yourself gaining strength. The length of the night had been blurry, chattering voices and hands, everywhere. Needles, bliss, whispers. Stripping you from the blood-ridden clothes and water pouring over your lips. Fingers, hands touching you, always caught in a delicate dance between stoic tenderness and warmth

‘Gonna be jus’ fine, baby.” Tommy had assured you, multiple times.

Suddenly it had been a week. They took turns caring for you, someone sleeping in the same room as you at all times in case you needed something. Always talking about “patrol shifts” and how Tommy was expected to be a leader of some sort. You had overheard a lot of conversations booming through the thin walls of the house. One hurting more than the others.

“Shouldn’t have fuckin’ brought her here in the first place. You know the whole town is gossipin’ about it right now. The Miller brothers bringing in another mouth to feed.”

“Stop it. Sh’can hear you Joel. You know that’s not how anyone thinks of it. She could help this place. Give her a chance.”

“She’s been practically fuckin’ unconscious for a week now, Tommy. You think she’s just gonna get right up n’ run the town?”

“Why did you take her in if you don’t even want to be responsible for her survival?” Tommy threw back at him. He regretted saying it immediately, watching as it hit Joel in the face before he closed his eyes and looked away. Joel was more so there to watch you and make sure you didn’t bleed into his wooden floor, while Tommy tried to provide as much comfort as possible. After realizing that this was Joel’s home, it made sense in what little you knew about him. There were few things on the wall, but there were remnants of him everywhere.

Ellie would come home and sit with you, read to you and then tuck you in after Joel carried you up the stairs and into his bed. You missed Tommy’s gentleness when it wasn’t there, but you missed the warmth from Joel's body, his lap, when he wasn’t there. His breathing, his nervous habit of cracking his fingers. Even though you could tell that every nerve ending in his body wanted you anywhere else but wherever he was- there was still a silent curiosity.

About a week and a half after your arrival, someone knocked on the front door of the tattered house and Joel called for Tommy up the stairs. He walked down them quickly, walking out of the front door with Joel.

He returned a few minutes later, looking at you sitting in the seat you hadn’t left in since you’d been there. He gave you a look, slowly looking towards the ground as he spoke up so you could hear him. “Gotta go for a couple of days. Heard there’s a group who probably followed us close to here, saw their smoke, gonna take care of them before they can make it any further.” You hadn’t spoken much, if at all, the past couple of days. You didn’t think you would make it this far, and now you were sitting with two strangers and a teenager in their house, rotting away. They had poked and prodded, trying to get any information out of you that they could, but you didn’t give in.

You stared out the window and answered meekly whenever spoken to, if at all. You should be ecstatic at the thought of finally being housed somewhere ‘safe’, somewhere with electricity and running water. Somewhere where they gathered the children and let them watch movies in the mess hall (all information coming from Tommy, telling you stories as he changed your bandages)- but you weren’t. You felt like you were still teetering on the edge of death. You felt like a burden to Joel.

You didn’t answer Tommy, just nodded. He packed up a few things and promised to ‘be back in no time, then maybe you can tell me your name.’ And then he was gone out of the termite-ridden front door.

You had fallen asleep, and awoken to Joel in another room somewhere, those same goddamn boots thudding against the creaking wooden floors. His presence was constant, every once in a while getting up from a creaking chair to come look at you. You slept, mostly. Ate the dinner he got from the dining hall. Your rage had returned. But baring your teeth in anger took energy you didn’t have.

-

Joel couldn’t look at you without feeling like he was looking straight through the blood and guts of you(r)(side). Tommy wouldn’t leave him the fuck alone about it before he left. How pretty you were, how there ‘weren’t many pretty faces left n’ you’re tryin’ to kill one?’ He watched as Tommy cooked you with his stare, warming his next meal only to put on his best-dressed suit and bail on the date before he could even pick up the tab. He was glad he was gone for a while, letting him forget about the fact that he had put the bullet in you. He loved his brother, but he knew his games. He knew his inability to stay.

Joel had nursed you back to… alive. At least. He hadn’t really thought about what that entailed after you were stable. He was surprised you were still breathing. He didn’t think about the feeding, changing, and bathing of you. Of hands touching flesh and natural bodily reactions to such.

You could tell he was the older brother. He held the normal stereotypes, sternly telling you what to do. The older one was always more serious, and stoic. The younger, who probably got away with more, but was the loneliest from eyes diverting. But his big brother was always there, begrudgingly present. And he was in this instance too.

Tommy had washed you multiple times before he left, but never your hair or the rest of you. He was more concerned that your stitches didn’t get infected.

Joel probably thought giving you a rag bath was wasting water, but did it anyway, probably tired of your stench in his bed. It’s cold until he heats the towel after noticing you shiver. “Let me draw you an actual bath. Think you can take one now.” He was softer at that moment, more gently with the way he wiped the towel across your chest. Those moments happened least expectedly. But when they did happen, it hurt even deeper. You felt something for him. And that just wouldn’t do. Rather it be lust, loneliness, or your raging fucking daddy issues.

Tommy likes the water cold, and Joel likes it burning to the skin. Of course, he does. He is all or nothing. Hot or cold. Soft or hard. He’s solitude but brings the same warmth of a front door opening to a sea of snow, chimney warm, lights warmer, hot chocolate, and bourbon- he is. In any other world but this one, he would probably be a good man; one to settle down with. One to hold you against himself, despite of raging night.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *₊.• ♡ °:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡ °:. *₊ ° *

a/n: Phew do I have plans for these three…

taglist: @worhols @sarap-77 @mishasminion360 @justagalwhowrites @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @romanarose @milla-frenchy @bandluvr97 @alwaysdjarin @basicoccult @hellfyreroz @northernbluess-blog @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @pr0ximamidnight @bambydxll @morgaussy @n7cje @theywhowriteandknowthings @gracie7209 @pedritoferg @twirl731 @med494 @k-ra @gintheginger @obscurexsorrows @cool-iguana @livingdeadmaria @ours-is-a-strange-fate @megangovier20 @rayslittlekitten @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrotonin @bluetattoos @sscorpiiio

[lefaystrent]

Friendly Neighborhood Criminals

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic Patton/Dark Sides

Summary: Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.

-------------------------------------------------------

Patton can't quite figure out how he ended up here.

Well, he knows he's in his apartment. He had saved up for months just to afford the deposit. And the landlord had been so sweet to take a chance on him with his credit, or lack thereof. Now he has a space of his own, a one bedroom with hardwood floors he can slip and slide on socked feet. He can go to the fridge when he wants and not be yelled at for eating the food or drinking the water.

And sometimes! Sometimes a black and white kitty cat roams the front steps. Patton's fairly certain it belongs to one of the neighbors, and she wears a collar. He's not supposed to pet cats because of his allergies, but he likes to let her rub her sides against his pants leg while he talks to her. It's nice because she doesn't tell him to shut up or tell him he's stupid or call him ungrateful.

This apartment is his new chance at life. A slice of freedom. And he's proud of it.

But then one night, three men break into his apartment. They probably think he isn't there because there is no vehicle parked in his one assigned spot. Owning a car seems light-years away in terms of money. It's not like he really needs one either! He has a bus pass and two legs to walk on!

Regardless, the three men break into his apartment, picking the locked front door, and they come in uninvited to see his apartment that he is very proud of.

His apartment that has no furniture.

"What the fuck?" Patton hears one of them say. As soon as he heard them picking the lock, he panicked and cowered behind the bedroom door. He huddles now on the other side, peeking out the crack and scared that closing it will make too much noise.

"Is this one empty?" another asks. They walk into the center of the small living area. It's an open space that melds into the kitchen, separated only by a short island counter.

"No, I've seen a guy coming in and out. Someone's been living here."

"Maybe they just moved out?"

"No, I just saw him earlier today. There haven't been any moving vans."

"Uh, bedroom then?"

"Oh God," Patton shudders in fright. He knows he's not supposed to think the worst in people, but these guys came in without permission with clearly bad intentions. What if they are looking for him? What if they want to hurt him? Or kidnap him? They had obviously been watching him for some time.

"Maybe. Let's check it out."

Terror slams into him. He throws himself away from the door and spins in the middle of the bedroom, searching for any place to hide. But there isn't one. There are no curtains, no bed to crawl under. There is a blanket on the floor with a pillow. He's been saving up for an air mattress as his next goal. He's been looking forward to sleeping on something somewhat soft.

The tiny closet has no room to hold him, and the window jams up nine times out of ten. They'll hear him if he attempts pushing the pane up and–

The door creaks as it sways open. Three men stare at a scattered-brain mess.

"Oh shit, he's here!"

"I thought you said he left!"

"I thought he did!"

Patton can't take it anymore. He throws up his hands and screams, "Please don't kill me! I can give you my wallet. There's not much in there, I'm sorry. Just please don't kill me!"

"Dude, is that where you sleep?" one of them gestures to the blanket pile on the floor.

Sniffling back tears, Patton responds, "Do you want my blankets? You can have them."

"Do you seriously live here, or are you squatting?" another says. He's wearing a hat. It's a very nice hat and Patton would tell him so if he wasn't about to pee his pants.

"I live here....it's my apartment."

"There's no shame if you're squatting. We won't tell anyone. Do what you gotta do."

A hysterical giggle tumbles out his lips. Patton shakes his head hard enough to give himself whiplash. "No, it's my place, I pay for it, I swear."

"You mean you live like this?" This one wears a dark hooded jacket, hood up.

"Y-yeah?" Patton stammers. He can't understand why they're so hung up on where he lives.

"This is..." the third one strokes his mustache, "Yeah, I can't even make fun of this. This is just sad."

"Do you have food in your fridge?" the hat guy demands. "Please tell me you at least have food in your fridge."

"Uh....uh... yes? Are you hungry?"

In answer, the hat guy strides with angry purpose into the kitchen. Patton can't see him from this angle anymore, but he hears the fridge open.

"There's literally only spaghetti in here!"

"It's...it's cheap to make." Patton doesn't know why he's explaining himself. Had he known that three men were going to break into his apartment, should he have prepared better meals for them?

"Can I have some?" the guy with the mustache asks, only to be cuffed by the hoodie guy.

"Dude, not the issue here."

"Why is there only pasta?!! Why don't you have any tables or TVs or a fucking bed?!!!"

The hat guy had gone past the boiling point. He hollers and slams cabinet doors like no tomorrow. Patton flinches and remembers too vividly of the atmosphere before the apartment. Before he was safe.

"I'm sorry," Patton defaults to how he's supposed to respond. He has been bad and he has to make amends. The tears overflow now and he can't get his shaking hands to wipe the wet streaks away. "I'm so sorry!"

"Oh shit, he's breaking. Virge, do something?"

"What the hell am I supposed to do?! I am not mentally equipped for this!"

"Janny!!"

The hat guy comes whirling back with all the fury of a storm. His shoulders heave. A gloved finger points straight at Patton.

"You!" he roars. Well, it's more like a hiss, but it sounds like a roar to Patton's sensitive ears.

"I'm sorry!"

"You have nothing to apologize for! Obviously, society has let you down. This is unforgivable. Deplorable! You deserve better than this."

"I do?" Patton questions, glasses askew and eyes wide.

"Yes. Come boys, we're leaving."

"Wait, why? Where?" Virge exclaims, waving his hands back and forth at everything and nothing at all. "What are we doing? This isn't the plan."

"New plan! Operation Do-It-Ourselves commences now."

And that is how Patton finds himself standing outside his apartment the next morning watching the three theives from last night moving furniture into his apartment.

He doesn't question if the furniture is stolen. He doesn't ask why they're going through so much trouble. He doesn't ever call the police.

He watches them bicker as they wedge a sofa through the door. He mumbles an answer when they politely ask him which wall he wants it pushed against. He eats the breakfast sandwiches that they brought him, and he feels like he's having an out of body experience.

Janus, the hat guy, directs the other two with confident authority. Virgil, the hoodie-clad one, fills up the fridge with groceries. Remus, the man with the mustache, shoves a mattress into the bedroom.

"What's happening?" Patton mutters to himself later. He thinks he's being quiet enough, but Remus hears him and throws an arm over his shoulder.

"Janus has adopted you. This is how it starts. It's best to just go with it."

Sweet, adorable, mild-tempered Patton who's just beginning to come out of his shell and learn that the world maybe does not in fact hate him for being born... has now been taken under the wings of some well-meaning criminals.

[meggletoomanyfandoms]

Run, little rabbit..

(Photo's not mine!)

Human! Alastor x Fem!Reader

18+ ONLY!!

Summary- You ran through the forest, away from the man you thought you once knew. He was a monster, you'd realized, and you were a silly little rabbit caught in his trap.

Word Count- 2,187

Trigger Warnings- Some dubcon, Being chased, Alastor is a warning himself, Choking, Blood, mentions of killing, NSFW, fear, mentions of a weapon

AN- This one is.. A lil' different then some of the other stuff I've written but I do quite like how it turned out! I might write a part 2 to this one maybe but I haven't made up my mind yet!

Running. Right, that's what you were doing. You ran as fast as your legs could carry you through the forest that was only lit up by the bright moonlight above you. Your legs hurt, they screamed at you to ‘please just stop’ but you couldn’t. Unbeknownst to you, you had caught the eye of who you once thought to be a brilliant, charismatic man. But you learned quickly that that was a facade. A show he put on for those around him so they wouldn't be able to catch wind of his true intentions. Intentions which you now understood were deadly. 

And so that’s how you found yourself here. You got too close, despite the fact that your friends had warned you about him. Too close, and being so close to a monster such as him you would most assuredly get hurt. But you’d decided before that you didn’t care; you’d had your heart broken before so what would it matter now? But no, you misunderstood them when they said you’d get hurt. They most definitely meant in a physical sense. 

You could feel the bastard closing in on you now. You could hear his footsteps behind you, slowly advancing. Your heart was racing and you decided as a last ditch effort to hide behind a tall tree in the hopes that the man- the killer- would lose your trail and keep walking. But your hopes were immediately diminished when you heard his footsteps come to halt on the other side of the tree. 

“Dearest,” he called out, “Shall we stop playing these games now?” 

“Why can’t you just leave me be, you sick freak!?” You called out, back against the tree and your nails digging into the wood as if it would somehow save you from what you now knew was going to be your demise. Behind you, the man chuckled. 

“Now now,” he said, “I’ve dirtied my hands for you on more than one occasion, what makes you think I’ll just leave and be on my way?” 

You thought back to a few weeks ago when you found out your boss had been found dead in his home, his death unexplainable. He was an awful, awful man but you knew he didn’t deserve the fate he was dealt. And then, only a few nights ago, an ex-friend of yours who’d tried to turn you into the cops for dealing in the illegal sale of alcohol, found the same fate. Dead in her home, her murder almost exactly the same as the one your boss experienced. And when you put all the pieces together and learned just who had committed these crimes- you sought to escape the moment you were able and now, now you're here. Assuredly about to meet the same fate as the other two at the hands of the same man that killed them. 

“Alastor,” you called out, “Please. If you’ll just leave me alone and let me go then, then I promise I’ll-” you heard the branches and dead leaves crack under his footsteps as he took a step closer and he chuckled. 

“Mon cher, do you really think that I’m going to kill you like those others?” he put his hands on the tree trunk before him, knowing you were on the other side and scared out of your mind. And God, that fear only proved to turn him on more and make him crave you, “That is the very last thought on my mind. Do I want to see you suffer? Watch you struggle? Dearest, you have absolutely no idea what you do to me, do you~?” 

“I don’t care! You’re a murderer! Alastor you.. You scare me!” you said to him. He was now grinning from ear to ear as he listened intently to what you had to say.

“Good,” he said, “I want you to be frightened. I want you to feel helpless and trapped; I want to get under your skin and make your heart race. That, my dearest, was truly my intention all along. Now, will you run again? Because this time if I catch you, and oh I most definitely will, I can’t promise you’ll get to leave this forest… Unscathed.” 

And with that, you took off. Finally now being able to at least breathe a little easier, you ran through the forest as fast as you could. You knew he would follow you and continue to come after you but you figured that if you were able to maybe make it to any sort of road, or maybe if you could find a house or literally anything, anything, to help you get away from that.. That monster! You would keep running as long as you possibly could.

“Oh, my little rabbit,” Alastor called out, not far behind you, “Oh how fun this is! I truly haven't had this much fun in ages!” You could tell from his voice that he was running out of breath, maybe this meant he was also slowing down? But when you turned your head to look back, and oh what a mistake that was, you could see he was now directly behind you. And with the reach of his arms, he caught you.

You both fell at the abrupt and sudden stop, Alastor’s ax falling to the ground beside the two of you. You put up a struggle though; fighting your best to get free but he was much stronger than you and it took him no time to have you pinned to the ground beneath him. He had each of your wrists pinned on either side of your head, his grip on them strong enough it was sure to leave bruises. 

“Bastard!” you screamed, wriggling beneath him as he straddled your waist. Your once fine clothes were now covered in mud and there were dead leaves in your hair, and somewhere along the way you'd lost one of your boots. Alastor, however, looked to be in the same pristine shape he always had, although his boots were now covered in mud. 

“What a chase you gave me, my little rabbit,” he said as he pinned your wrists above your head and held them now with only a single hand. He grabbed his ax and positioned it directly beneath your throat, “Will you stop squirming now and stop with the ceaseless screaming?” You barred your teeth at him as you felt the cool edge of the weapon against your throat. 

“Kill me then!” You spat at him, “Kill me now like you did the others!” He.. Laughed at you. A sick and twisted laugh that sent a chill up your spine.

“Didn’t I tell you already? I’m not going to kill you,” he pointed the edge of the ax a bit harder towards your throat, now drawing up just a tiny bit of blood that made him lick his lips, “I have.. Other plans for you, dearest.” You continued to fight the grip that he had on your wrists, trying everything you could think of to get free from him and ignoring the sharp pain that was now at your throat when you noticed.. This man on top of you had a hard on. 

“You’re a sick bastard!” you said, “A fucking sicko! That's exactly what you are!” you screamed at him.

“I never said I wasn’t,” he said to you, leaning down close to whisper in your ear, “although… I don't recall that having been a problem a few nights ago when I fucked you senseless. Shall we have a second take now?” 

“No!” you screamed, “If I had known then what you are.. I’d have never slept with you! Not in a million years!” He raised his head back up, laying the ax back down next to the two of you and tightened the grip he had on your wrists. With his now free hand, he placed it on your chest where he could feel your heart racing beneath your skin.

“My little rabbit, how your heart races..” he said, “Tell me, are you frightened?” You could feel tears beginning to swell up in the corners of your eyes, despite your best efforts to fight them off and refused to answer his question. He noticed this and smirked, now grabbing your throat with that same hand, your blood coating his fingers as he did so. He squeezed lightly, causing you to gasp. 

“Wasn’t it just the other night that I held you this way?” he questioned, still squeezing, “And if I recall directly, you asked me to do so, didn’t you, mon cher? Begged me to choke this pretty little neck of yours so you could hardly take a breath. How does it feel now, knowing that you begged a serial killer to do that to you? And how easily I could have killed you right there if I wanted?” he laughed, “And if I remember correctly, you were absolutely soaked at the thrill.. Shall I have a look now to see if that pussy of yours is as drenched as it was then?”

“F-Fuck.. You..” you managed to gasp out as he continued to squeeze your neck. He let go, still grinning as you coughed. Although what he said was true and you did ask him to do that to you, that was.. Before.. Before all of this! When you thought he was someone different, a kind and charismatic man who-! 

The feeling of a cold hand cupping your core puts an immediate stop to your thoughts. Your body jolted at the new feeling, going completely still. Alastor laughed- not chuckled, like he did before, but laughed like.. A madman.

“Naughty, naughty, little rabbit,” he said, “You’re even wetter now then you were then! That pussy of yours is absolutely soaking..” He brought his hand up and licked your juices off of his fingers. You turned your head so as not to look at him; you couldn’t do it anymore. Your body betrayed you, and though you’d never in a million years actually say it.. You were turned on. You were scared out of your mind but.. The thrill of this, of all of this, just did something to your body that you couldn't ignore. 

“It means nothing!” you screamed at him as the tears fell down your cheeks, “And.. You mean nothing! Absolutely nothing to me!” 

Alastor narrowed his gaze down at you, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks, “Oh my little rabbit, the things you do to me..” And he leaned down and kissed you. Your eyes widened at the shock of feeling his lips pressed against yours, the grip he had on your wrists unwavering, but the softness of his kiss surprised you. When he pulled away, he spoke once again.

“Why did you run?” he asked, “Did you truly think I was going to kill you? After all the things I did for you, and the positions I put myself in for you? You really, truly thought I planned to murder you?” You were surprised when you saw what you thought to be.. Hurt, in his eyes. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You killed those close to me so it’s only right that I be next-”

“Close to you?” he questioned, squeezing your wrists harder, “I killed those awful bastards that hurt you. That treated you like garbage; I helped you.” Was he right? All along you thought he had just been murdering the ones who were close to you, one by one until he finally got to you. 

“Then why.. Why chase me like this? Why not just explain?” 

“Didn’t I tell you, little rabbit, what your fear does to me? That I want you to be frightened. I want to watch you struggle and suffer, but only under my hands. I want to hurt you and make you scream.. But if anyone else did that or even so much as tried to, then they, too, would feel the edge of my blade.” You were stunned silent at his words, at what he had just admitted to you. How were you supposed to feel about this? It’s true that you were scared of him, but you were also (and evidently so) turned on by.. This. 

“That doesn’t make you any less of a monster,” you said to him, “But maybe that means I am just as messed up in the head if I actually believe what you’re saying.”

“Then tell me, my dear, shall I take you home then where I can fuck you senseless?” he asked as he put his hand on your cheek, “Or..” he continued, moving his hand back down to your bloodied throat and lightly squeezing, “Shall I fuck you right here? Does the thought of being forced to take my cock in the middle of nowhere where nobody can hear your screams turn you on, dearest?” You went silent and stilled, not knowing how to respond to his.. Question. 

“Then, shall I choose for you?” his grin lit up as he squeezed your throat harder, “I’ll make you wish you had used your words, my little rabbit.”

[alloftheimaginesblog]

don't leave me here {e.m}

prompt: you're bleeding out and eddie has to save you.

character: eddie munson x plus size female reader

part of my e.m 'pretty eyes' series

Blood. There was so much blood.

Eddie dropped to his knees in front of you, "Jesus! Fucking hell! What the fuck?!" The panicked string of curses left his mouth quick and furious.

He stared down at your gasping, convulsing body in absolute horror. Eddie Munson wasn't one of these 'hero' guys. He wasn't like Steve Harrington or Nancy Wheeler or- or fucking Superman, okay? He was a runner. He ran and he hid from shit like this. He wasn't brave. He was a fraud; scared, weak. Eddie Munson thought that he was nothing at all.

Things changed when he saw you like that.

"What do I do? What the fuck do I do?!"

You weren't really focusing on what he was saying, all you could really do was stare up at him as your mouth tried to form words. His eyes connected with yours; fear meeting fear and when he saw how scared you were, lying there, bleeding out onto cold cement, he swallowed and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments.

When he opened his eyes again, the fear was gone and instead was replaced with calm.

"This is gonna hurt... and I'm sorry." He took a deep breath and pressed down on the wound that was on your side. You couldn't speak but my god, you could scream; loud and piercing. Eddie rambled apologies over the sound of you, wincing as he listened to you. No one else was here. It was just you and Eddie in the Upside Down with a whole lot of monsters. Eddie needed to stop the bleeding long enough to get you back into the normal world and get you to the hospital.

He could feel his heart beating fast and furious in his chest. It almost hurt him. He was terrified but he knew that you were even more scared than he was so he knew that he had to focus and just do it; do something. No running, not today.

The blood seeped from between his fingers, he needed something to stop the bleeding. Thinking quick, he grabbed the two handkerchiefs that he kept in his pockets, bundled them together, and pressed them hard against your side.

"You still with me?" He asked, anxiously glancing to your face.

Your eyes were squeezed shut and you were holding onto his wrist in a white knuckled grip, "E-Eds- I'm not gonna-"

"Shut up." He glowered at you, "I'm not having that conversation, it's strictly not an option. I'm going to get the bleeding to stop a bit and then I'm gonna take you back through the gate and we'll get you to the hospital. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. It'll be fine."

His hands trembled and his whole body was caked in a cold sweat as the blood continued to pour. Why wasn't it stopping? Why wasn't it slowing down?

He cursed under his breath and dropped everything to stand up. With fumbling hands, he pulled off his belt. He'd watched Nancy do this to Harrington, minus the belt but with her t-shirt, she'd tied it really tight around his wound and it helped add extra pressure. He had to try, right? He told you it would hurt and boy, did it hurt. The searing hot pain made your head spin and made your vision blur and you almost felt yourself succumbing to the sleepiness that crept into the corners of your mind, dulling things and making things fuzzy around the edges.

It was Eddie's voice, hoarse and cracking, "Please don't leave me. Don't you dare fucking leave me in this stupid town myself." Hearing that, hearing how upset and vulnerable he sounded made you open your eyes for the briefest of moments.

"I gotta get you outta here," Eddie murmured, "Back through the gate and hopefully Harrington will be on the other side close by and we can get you in a car and straight to the hospital."

You shook your head, inhaling deeply, "Y-You can't get me through the gate. I-I'm too heavy to ca-carry."

Eddie rolled his eyes, "You're bleeding out and you're worried about your weight?" A moment of humour in an otherwise traumatic situation.

It was stupid and you weren't thinking rationally but you never liked people lifting you, you'd always hated it since a boy in your sixth grade class called you heavy. Since then, no one had lifted you. Despite knowing that Eddie could probably hold your weight, you would rather die in the Upside Down than have him unable to lift you or call you heavy.

"Hey," Eddie said, bloody hands on your cheeks, "I can lift you. I'll get you outta here, I promise... You gotta trust me." His eyes scanned your face, "You trust me?"

You nodded slowly, "Yeah. I trust you."

"I dunno if it'll hurt or not but my trailer's just over there, it won't be long... just hold on tight." You hadn't noticed his hands under your knees and neck until he was hoisting you into the air. The pain was there but duller, lesser. You didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Your eyes were heavy, tired. Eddie could tell as he ran through the upside down with you in his arms that things weren't looking good. Despite the belt applying as much pressure as possible, you were still bleeding, blood seeping into his t-shirt and jean jacket, staining and soaking wherever it touched.

Eddie glanced down at you, "Open your eyes, (y/n). Open those pretty eyes!" The sound of the nickname woke you for the slightest of seconds and then you tumbled backwards into the darkness.

At the sight of your eyes rolling and body limp, Eddie cursed and used his foot to kick open the trailer door; stupid thing swung open easily.

Eddie began to screech for Harrington, for Nancy, for anyone. His friends should've been back by now. Eddie closed his eyes as he stared up through the gate to see no one staring down at him. They weren't back yet. This couldn't be it; this wasn't going to be the end. He lay you down on the mattress on the floor and grabbed a chair to stand on when all of a sudden he heard, "Jesus, what happened? Is she okay?!"

Steve and Nancy stared down horrified at the sight of you lying unconscious, "Help me get her outta here, Harrington, or she's not gonna make it."

Getting you up and out of the Upside Down was easier than Eddie had expected since he had the help of Nancy and Steve. Together, they managed to get you through the gate and Steve helped carry you to his car.

Eddie's heart hadn't stopped racing, his hands trembling and sweating as the engine roared whilst Steve drove. Nancy looked to the backseat where you lay with Eddie crouched over you, hand in yours. He kept yelling over the sound of the engine to drive faster. "We're friends with the Chief of Police hurry the fuck up Harrington!" So, Steve put his foot down.

He doesn't stop talking to you, doesn't stop muttering and murmuring to you. He doesn't know what the hell he's saying to you but he read once that talking to someone is a good way to keep them awake - he didn't know how true that was but he'd try anything.

"Open your pretty eyes for me, (y/n)."

"You hear me? You hear my voice?"

"I'm terrified... Fuck, I'm so scared."

"Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

"I love you. I fucking love you."

The hospital loomed ahead and Steve put his foot down, cutting the red light. Nancy gripped onto her seat. Steve's turns grew harsh and fast and the three of them were nearly launched when he slammed on the breaks, car coming to a squealing stop.

"Help me get her out." Eddie said to Steve.

The car lay abandoned as Steve and Eddie carried you into the hospital. Nancy ran ahead, calling for help loudly and grabbing a stretcher which sat beside reception empty. The next few moments passed in a blur. You were bundled onto the stretcher, Eddie holding your hand, and a few doctors surrounded and huddled trying to figure out what was best to do.

"We need to take her now, sir," one of the doctor's said to Eddie, "you need to let go of her hand."

Eddie wanted to protest, wanted to fight and demand to stay with you but it was Harrington's hands on his shoulders that tugged him away from you and then, the three of them were all alone in reception and you were wheeled away.

Eddie hadn't known true fear until today. Seeing you bleeding and injured and now, stuck in limbo wondering and praying that you'd be okay. It was up to the doctor's now. It was their job to save you. Eddie wasn't religious but in those few tense hours of waiting, he prayed to every god, every saint, every public figure he could think of to pray that you'd be okay and that you'd pull through. Nancy and Steve stayed the whole time, keeping him occupied with small talk and fuelled by coffee.

"Eddie, stop pacing. Come and sit down," Nancy said, patting the seat beside her, "Just try to relax-"

"I can't," he shook his head, curls flying, "I can't rest until I know that she's okay."

"Are you here for (y/n)?" A voice asked from beside them.

Eddie whirled around, nodding wildly, "Yes, is she okay? Is she- Is she...?"

"Who wrapped the belt around her waist to stop the bleeding?" The doctor asked.

Eddie frowned, "It was me." His face dropped, "Did I do something wrong? Oh my god, did I hurt her more?"

The doctor shook his head, patting Eddie's shoulder, "Really nice touch with the belt, kid, that probably saved her life," the doctor said, "she'll be okay."

Eddie wasn't a crier, he couldn't remember the last time he properly broke down and just cried... until now. It was a mixture of relief, happiness, stress and god knows what else but he just broke down. You were okay; you would be okay. A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, he had thought it was the doctor offering sympathy, but was rather surprised to see Harrington, "Thank you," he said to the doctor, allowing him to leave. Once the doctor was gone, Steve patted his back, "(y/n)'s okay, you saved her, Munson. You did it."

Eddie couldn't speak. The tears kept flowing and as he sat down, Steve's hand stayed on his shoulder and Nancy's hand found Eddie's arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

You were going to be okay; everything was going to be okay.