#crack with depth

[evelhak]

Kuroko Tetsuya, Unabridged

(KnB fic by evelhak/Glasssneaker)

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Author's note: I had a sudden urge to write a Tumblr friendly fic (meaning not humongous), and this happened. It's everything I don't normally do. It's only about 5000 words, it's a standalone, it's in third person and past tense. So, if you're interested in a bit of a comedic take on "What goes on with Kuroko behind the scenes?", this shouldn't take too much of your time.

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Kuroko Tetsuya was waking up early in the morning. He had, of course, gone to bed early, like a responsible young athlete should, even if they didn’t happen to have a tournament or a training camp coming up just then. The shadow of Seirin’s basketball team was always ready for action.

I am lead. I am a pile of bricks. There’s a better chance for a meteorite to strike than for me to get out of this bed.

Of course, the reason he had gone to bed early was his unstoppable drive to read the gothic mystery novel Rebecca which had caught his attention in the library just the day before. Kuroko had not stopped reading until the wee hours, in the full knowledge that Coach would casually maim him, if she noticed he hadn’t slept enough and was too tired to function at practise because of it.

I can still say I went to bed early, and it’s not technically a lie, Kuroko had thought in the tempting light of his reading lamp, turning one more chapter.

Kuroko showed no signs of life under his blanket, until something cold and wet met his face and made his skin crawl. And it wasn’t Nigou’s firm lick, which would have been about a thousand times more pleasant to wake up to, than this nerve-rackingly light and simultaneously sharp surprise that made him blink rapidly before his eyes came into focus, and Kuroko saw his grandmother standing beside his bed, holding the spray bottle she used to refresh the house plants.

– Oops, Granny said with a barely contained grin. – Looks like I mistook you for another wilted flower.

The spray of water had not revived Kuroko’s brain-mouth connection yet, so nothing but a quiet groan came out of him, as he attempted to crawl even deeper into his bed. He was barely aware of the woof and the sound of little steps in the room, before Granny’s cheerful voice said:

– Nigou, steal!

That’s when Kuroko’s blanket was suddenly nowhere to be found, or rather, it was being pulled out of the room between Nigou’s teeth, while Kuroko was too stunned, trying to comprehend the depth of the betrayal.

How dare you. I found you, I took you in…

It wasn’t the first time, of course, that Granny had been compelled to use creative strategies to get her teenager out of bed. Who knows if Seirin’s legendary win in the Winter Cup would have even been possible without the uncredited grandmother. But it was the first time she had teamed up with Nigou like this.

Of course she had taught Nigou to steal. The two were spending entirely too much time alone at home together.

Kuroko was still salty as soy sauce when he managed to drag himself out of the bed and into the bathroom.

Why didn’t I wash my hair at night?

The answer was of course that he never did if he could help it, because the only way to tame his impossible bedhead was to wash his hair in the morning. But sometimes it was nice to at least pretend he had options.

After the episodes I hate showering in the morning through I live here now, plus a good breakfast Kuroko’s Granny made sure he ate, the phantom sixth man started to finally look like he wasn’t living excessively up to his name, and going to school was starting to seem like a worthy goal for the day, if only because it meant he could spend the way there with his nose stuck in a book. The reason that it wasn’t dangerous for this barely noticeable guy to walk among the traffic with both of his eyes entranced by the pages, even though he simultaneously thought it was too dangerous to walk while holding something in both hands, was of course, due to his superior observational skills. It wasn’t at all hypocritical or a sign of barely disguised and very selective anxiety.

Kuroko came dangerously close to someone’s bike’s handlebar getting caught into his bag, being knocked into a wall by someone swinging their groceries recklessly, and walking into a lamp-post, the last one being the only one he noticed.

Whoops. That would have been embarrassing. In my defence, I was walking through the dark corridor of a gothic mansion, and there were no lamp-posts…

He did, however, walk straight into Kagami Taiga at the school gate.

– Hey! Watch where you’re going, maybe??

– Oh. Good morning, Kagami-kun.

Mission accomplished.

– Good morning my ass… we have math the first thing, right?

– Hmm? Yes, that’s right.

My timing was spectacular, too.

– Besides, how many times have I told you you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep reading like that?!

Not nearly enough for it to stop being cute.

– I’m fine, Kagami-kun. So far my car-dodging has a 100% success rate.

– Well, you only need one mistake!

Why don’t you start walking me home if you’re so worried?

– I’m careful.

– Yeah, right. And you have the nerve to call me and idiot…

At least I’ve got your undivided attention.

– Calm down, Kagami-kun. It’s not good for you to overheat your brain before math class.

– Hah! How do you not overheat your brain, sitting there, listening to that boring nonsense…

– I simply don’t have your overheating problem.

I have no intention of listening in math class. Zero.

Indeed, Kuroko was lucky that he was sitting behind his tall friend, and not only because watching Kagami’s broad back, his shoulders rising, his muscles twitching, his ears looking like steam might really start to rise from them while the boy struggled through another set of incomprehensible math questions, was infinitely better use of Kuroko’s time than learning to draw parabolas which he was completely certain he would not have any use for in the future, no matter what it would turn out to be like otherwise. He could not imagine wanting any job that involved that much math, especially while he had a chance to stare at Kagami’s animated form without any interruptions, wondering about both old and new things about him. Sometimes Kuroko thought Kagami must be just one giant nerve instead of a normal web of them, for the way his whole being seemed to react to everything.

As entertaining as Kagami was to watch, today Kuroko was simply using him as a cover, so he could keep escaping into the mysteries of Rebecca.

He did the same in English class as well, even though that made his conscience sting slightly more, since English was something that his future would involve a lot of, if things went according to his still vague plans. However, his sympathies were entirely too engaged with the new Mrs. de Winter trying to establish herself at the mistress of the threatening mansion despite of her shyness and inexperience. She had just had the brilliant idea of dressing herself after one of the old paintings in the house, for the party she was hosting, and Kuroko felt the plot thickening. The terrible hag of a housekeeper was entirely too amiable all of a sudden, it had to be a trap. Kuroko was sure of it…

The teacher announced they would be doing conversation exercises in pairs next, just when every pair of eyes at the party had stopped to stare at the main character as if they’d seen a ghost.

No. No, no, no, not now.

But Kuroko had to slip the book into his bag before Kagami turned towards his desk, even though it was like it physically hurt his mind to do so. Kagami was never calm about Kuroko using him as a cover in class. Not that Kagami was ever calm about anything.

Kuroko of course, sat there as cool as a glass of milkshake.

My soul is burning in the fires of hell until I know what Mr. de Winter will say. There’s no doubt the painting and the dress had something to do with his dead wife…

– Hm? Why do you look like your soul has left? Kagami asked, raising an eyebrow as he dropped his textbook on Kuroko’s desk and crossed his arms over it. Unfortunately he was becoming more adept at reading Kuroko’s micro expressions every day.

You would never understand. My life depends on this right now…

– Well, I can’t say I’m eagerly waiting for another chance for you to laugh at me, Kuroko said instead, which made Kagami snort.

– Come on, it’s not like your English is that bad.

The fact that Kagami was so encouraging about it, despite of clearly waiting for another chance to laugh, could only mean that Kuroko’s English was exactly that bad.

Unfortunately, my life depends on this too.

Kuroko opened his textbook, knowing he was about to be slaughtered.

I just have to bear it, so that years from now, I can torment you about laughing at me, while I was suffering, doing my best for our sake, while you sat there clueless, your farthest plan for the future probably being the giant ham sandwich you were going to eat at lunch. If that far.

It wasn’t like Kuroko had an elaborate plan for the future himself, but if there was one clear thing he knew he wanted, he was going to bet all his chips on it.

Kagami sounded as bored as ever, like what they were doing right now was indeed just an English exercise with no meaning. Kuroko kept looking at Kagami’s downcast eyes intently while he read from the textbook.

If you don’t realize you’re not going to stay in Japan forever, you’re as much of a moron as everyone says you are. And if you don’t realize that I’m coming right after you, you’re an even bigger one.

Kagami did eat a giant ham sandwich for lunch, and he did of course come to eat it at Kuroko’s desk, just when he could have done with less of Kagami’s undivided attention, because it kept him from reading the book. Kagami had started to complain about something Coach had said the day before, and Kuroko was of course listening completely.

I hate it when main characters have no name, it makes them feel less like a person, and more like a reader stand-in. Someone you’re meant to occupy to see, instead of someone you’re meant to look at and understand. Maybe it’s on purpose, because she thinks she’s so much less than the original Mrs. de Winter, who everyone seems to know as Rebecca, more than Mrs. de Winter, anyway. Maybe it’s supposed to highlight how she doesn’t feel as much like she is her own person. Still, I wish she had a name. I don’t like feeling as if there’s nothing more to her than being the new Mrs. de Winter, as if she didn’t even have a surname before that. Well, I’m certainly not going to call her Daphne, after the author… people who think every book is autobiographical have no imagination…

Kagami’s mouth had been too full to speak for a while, so actually Kuroko hadn’t missed much, but now there was suddenly a hand waving in front of Kuroko’s eyes.

– Earth to Kuroko! Hah… sometimes I do wonder what goes on in there, when your eyes go all vacant like that…

You’d be bored to death.

– Hmm… Kagami-kun, what do you think would be a nice name for a young woman in English?

– Huh? Where the heck did that come from?

Again, you’d be bored to death, but actually now I just kind of want to know.

– Well, you must have known a lot of people with interesting names, before. I just got curious.

– Uh. I don’t know about interesting… what’s with the “young woman” part, anyway? Are you trying to come up with some extremely roundabout and random way to ask if I had a girlfriend or something?

– Oh. Yes, sure.

Since Kagami had offered that part himself, Kuroko might haven been casually interested. Otherwise, why would he think about something like that?

– Huh? Really?

Kuroko simply shrugged at Kagami’s baffled expression.

– Well, no, I had no one! Geez…

Kuroko had absolutely no further plans for this information, which was why it was automatically filed in the “ESSENTIAL” category in his head, whether he was actually conscious of it or not.

– So, are there any names that you like the sound of?

– That is what you really want to know??

Kagami’s face hid none of his frustration with Kuroko’s odd questions, which Kuroko enjoyed a great deal. He nodded, not able to hide all of his smile. He loved it that Kagami’s expression immediately slipped into a pondering one, that he was unable to refuse Kuroko’s request despite of acting like it was the weirdest thing he could have possibly asked.

Kagami scratched his head.

– Uh… well, maybe… Cassandra? Is kind of nice?

And impossible to pronounce.

– So, you didn’t have a crush overseas, called… that?

Kuroko wasn’t even going to attempt to say it right now, because he didn’t feel like butchering the name. Cassandra de Winter did sound like the heroine of a gothic mystery novel, though.

– No, I didn’t!

– Hmm. Then would you name your child that?

Kagami’s eyebrows shot up.

– Literally what is up with these questions?? Who even thinks about that, except like some eight-year-old girl playing house?!

His arms were accompanying his expressions now too, which Kuroko always found all the more amusing.

– It’s just a question, Kuroko said.

– Do you think about what to name your hypothetical future children??

– No.

– See??

I just like watching your reaction to every silly thing I can think of.

Indeed, it had quite eased Kuroko’s need to get back to the book as soon as possible. Possibly he could even wait until he was on his way home after practise. The words on the page would not change even if he waited, but each of Kagami’s expressions and gestures, although so familiar to Kuroko already, was unique.

His unstoppable drive for reading defeated, Kuroko also made an effort to listen in class for the rest of the day, if only because they had Japanese next, and then geography, both of which he actually liked and usually did quite well in. Despite of that, Kuroko found out the pop quiz on the seas and rivers of the world they’d had yesterday, hadn’t gone exactly great. Actually Kuroko’s results were not too much better than Kagami’s, who was quite fascinated by the discovery.

– Huh. I thought you were into this subject, Kagami said, looking over at Kuroko’s desk curiously.

– I suppose I’m not that interested in maps.

– Oh.

Kagami turned away, but then glanced back like he might have wanted to ask why, but decided not to, anyway. Kuroko was a bit relieved, since he didn’t think he could have explained it in a way that would have made sense, anyway.

Because maps have no faces. They are dry and detached from the human aspect. From the people I’m interested to learn about. You can’t ask who the Nile or the Pacific Ocean on the map is, the way you can ask who the people are, who speak this language, or have this custom, or this belief, or these types of clothes. It’s much more satisfying to know what the Nile means to someone who would be there to experience it, than it is to know where, precisely, it is.

Kuroko’s resolve to focus was already wavering since he had began to philosophize about what did or didn’t make something interesting, which was an entire rabbit hole of a topic, and his eyes had gravitated a lot closer to the window than they had yet that day. Once a question or an idea was in his head, it felt very unsatisfying to stop thinking about it before it had reached a somewhat all-encompassing conclusion.

Kuroko was staring at a slowly moving group of clouds intensely, about to start looking for the common denominator between the uninteresting and the interesting subjects at school, when his phone buzzed quietly in the side pocket of his school bag. Since he had never been caught on his phone in class, he had began to feel less and less guilty about checking a message every now and then, as the years went by.

He wasn’t at all surprised that the person on the other end, risking getting caught in class, was Kise Ryota. It appeared he had sent a bunch of pictures from his latest photoshoot to all his old Teiko friends, in search of attention and praise he could trust he wouldn’t get from them.

Wow, that colour really brings out Kise-kun’s eyes. He really looks so natural with these confident poses, too. And if he was always smiling as genuinely as he is in this one picture, I bet his fanbase would double.

In other words, Kuroko was going to ignore Kise’s pictures for about four days, and then, maybe give him a single thumbs up.

Since the class was still mostly about maps, which Kuroko also had no intention of basing his future career upon, he started checking the social media of his other friends. Soon enough there was a group selfie of Momoi Satsuki and some of her school friends in a café, and Momoi was looking so happy it made Kuroko smile a little too.

Oh… they look so carefree and uncomplicated. I wonder if she’s ever going to hang out with me like that.

If anyone asked, the reason Kuroko rarely posted anything himself, was because especially after the Winter Cup his presence was in flux and the less reminders people would see of him, the better, if he ever hoped to gain back any of his invisibility on the basketball court. The real, or at least initial reason was that he was actually a bit camera shy, unless he was in a group, but there was no need for anyone to know that much.

On the other side of the camera however, Kuroko made liberal use of his lack of presence. The unknown number of funny shots on his phone, of Kagami eating, or sleeping, or running from a dog, would have surprised none of their teammates. Maybe even the not as funny ones, like Kagami brooding under a tree, or staring soulfully out of the window of the bus, leaning his face into his hand.

Kuroko didn’t have a special use in mind for any of the pictures, for the most part he just liked having them, especially the ones he knew Kagami would tell him to delete immediately. But he wouldn’t discard blackmail as an option, should things ever come to that.

Classes finally over, and having made it to practise, Kuroko felt there were only the pleasant parts of the day left. Certainly, practise was hard, and it was possibly harder on him than anyone else, but it was the type of suffering he enjoyed, because it had meaning. Not at all like what Kagami’s face looked like during the most boring classes. Everything about him screamed “pointless” then. This, their shared bubble, was everything that was opposite to that. Kuroko wondered if Kagami would have grabbed his head in annoyance, though not nearly as forcefully as he sometimes had in the beginning, and told him to stop saying embarrassing stuff, had he said those thoughts out loud.

The course of the practise was what it was for the vast majority of time. In the beginning, everything went smoothly, tricking Kuroko into thinking he might have a particularly good day.

Hey, this is not as hard as I remembered. If I keep this up, one day I might not always have to look at everyone else’s back when we run…

During the next hour however, his heart would start beating excessively, his vision blurring, until he was seconds away from his legs giving out.

Never mind, I’m dying.

Usually a short break came just before he would really pass out. Not always, but often enough.

If Kagami happened to spot Kuroko’s outrageous panting, his reaction could range from mildly annoying to impossibly endearing. Today it was a light slap on the shoulder, and:

– Hey. Don’t forget to drink.

Which was somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

Kuroko briefly considered whether there would be anything for him to gain from conveniently passing out into Kagami’s arms, but he decided some cold water was a more practical course of action.

If by the end of the practise, Kuroko had managed to make himself look a lot smarter than he felt, which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, the day was going pretty well.

– Good strategy, Kuroko-kun, saving that last move until that moment, Coach said while they were having a practise game amongst themselves. – We can develop that further.

– Yes, that was the plan.

I completely forgot I had that move up my sleeve for a moment. Thank goodness I remembered it just in time.

Sometimes Kuroko couldn’t believe how much he managed to make it look like he knew what he was doing. The extent of his “strategy” often felt akin to walking through a dark forest and picking up everything on the ground that shined, ending up on the other side of the forest, magically having picked the exact things you would need there. That was why Kuroko rarely revealed any work-in-progress that he had, until it was ready. Because how do you explain why you know that something is going to work if you haven’t even figured it out yourself yet? You just “have a feeling”? Only after Kuroko’s logic was able to catch up with his intuition, running way ahead, was he able to reason his plan backwards and explain it to others. It was like playing a detective in your own life. “Oh, I see, that’s why I did that 359 pages ago! *cough* I mean, this was completely premeditated”.

Kuroko had found he was waiting for the relaxing moment at the end of practise more eagerly these days, when they would have a chance to let their racing hearts calm down, and him and Kagami would help each other stretch. Kuroko figured the reason for his anticipation must have been just that their practises were getting particularly hard.

Kagami’s hands felt really warm on his back. You would have thought it would be unpleasant after sweating yourself to death.

On the way home Kuroko was determined to finish reading Rebecca.

Please, please, please, let this book have a happy ending. I will be depressed for the rest of the day if it doesn’t.

By the end he was turning pages more and more rapidly, until he stopped in his tracks, sighed heavily, and closed the book.

I’m confused. The ending was happy, no matter what way you look at it, but also, murder is okay?

Having put the book away into his bag, and realizing he would have to digest it before forming an opinion, Kuroko turned his attention to people around him, who he of course only ever observed for misdirectional purposes, and never because he was a lowkey repressed gossip, or anything.

There was a group of middle schoolers he had been paying attention to for a few weeks now, because they often shared part of his way home. And talked loudly enough that anyone who felt like it, could have listened. Kuroko had started paying attention to them at the height of the drama between a boy and two girls. Apparently, the boy had first gone out with one of the girls, only to suddenly start going out with another when it became apparent that the other girl had feelings for him. Kuroko had witnessed many a fight and a cold silence between them during the past weeks. He had been anticipating the day when he would spot, not the three of them, but two or one of them going home separately. But things seemed to be different today. They were still all together, this time laughing and talking like none of them had a care in the world.

They stuck it out! I can’t wait to tell Granny…

His mood quite lifted from the confusion of the gothic novel, Kuroko made his way home.

After completing his homework passably, Kuroko felt like making up for his inattention during the English class, which meant consuming absolutely anything in English online, which was his primary way of diving into the language before he would start to feel like he might be able to read an actual book in English. He still had a long way to go. But he had found watching Literal Trailers was a good compromise between Japanese subtitles and no Japanese subtitles. Because they were literal, so you had quite a lot of visual aid.

Kuroko was barely holding it together, watching one of the Assassin’s Creed trailers in the dorky voiceover that was doing nothing but stating the obvious. In song. You’d think there was enough exposition in Kuroko’s daily life, but no. ♫ Pan, zoom, and slow-mo means he’s the target… ♪

That’s when Kuroko’s phone buzzed, and there was a message from Aomine Daiki.

bored. kill me, was all it said. Which was, of course, a completely clear request of: It appears I find myself rather understimulated this fine evening, so if it isn’t too much trouble, it would be the most considerate of you to persuade your esteemed friend of the finest red hair to accompany you to play some fucking ball with me. If you spoke Aomine, which Kuroko was, fortunately, learning faster than English these days.

Kuroko was feeling as eager to complete Aomine’s request as he was to let Aomine pretend he was being a bother by not only arranging for Kagami, but the whole Tokyo squad of the Generation of Miracles to be there, knowing that Aomine would actually enjoy it, no matter what he said. Kuroko didn’t have to do it alone either, because Momoi was quick to jump at the opportunity for a random get-together. Naturally, they started telling everyone how Aomine had eagerly invited them to play some nightly basketball. They knew Kise would not pass by the opportunity, of course, and they didn’t have to worry about Midorima either, because the easiest way to get him anywhere these days was to invite Takao and leave dealing with Shin-chan up to him.

Getting together with his old friends was still a somewhat rare treat for Kuroko, so he couldn’t help but stop to look at all of them with a small, wistful smile every now and then, when no one was looking. Kagami and Takao being there to add their own delightful impact to the scene, mixed things up a little of course, so the interesting dynamics to observe were numerous.

There were still a lot of things Kuroko hadn’t said to his friends. He might have, had the time been right. Being the one to initiate difficult or emotional conversations was tiring on anyone though, and especially to the tragicomic concoction of a group-oriented introvert who was regularly working at the limit of his extroversion anyway, because he didn’t feel like he had a choice.

If only the others could have heard the thoughts behind the nondescript observant eyes.

♪ ♫ Target pulls out his sword, then goes to smell his sword, not sure why… ♫

Then again, maybe not right at this moment, as Kuroko was zoning out, eyes glazed over, a Literal Trailer stuck in his head on repeat.

He returned to the moment at hand, as Momoi stepped next to where Kuroko had ended up standing for a while, and said in her cheerful voice:

– It’s so lively, isn’t it!

Sometimes Kuroko would have killed for an ounce of her outgoing personality. He was nearly certain that his attempts at solving his problems wouldn’t turn out so longwinded if he could get out more than 10% of his thoughts on a good day.

– Having Kagamin and Ki-chan double-team Dai-chan will stop his whining just like that these days! she went on.

Indeed, the three of them seemed like they could have forgotten the rest of the group even existed at the moment.

– Yes, everyone seems to be in high spirits, Kuroko said.

Midorima-kun and Takao-kun just can’t seem to stop bickering like an old married couple.

– Yeah! I’m so glad you called me.

It was one of those times when Momoi’s smile was truly genuine and uncomplicated, just like Kuroko yearned to see from her. There wasn’t any of that forceful overenthusiasm of the times she threw her arms around his neck, cutting off his breath.

When she was like this, Kuroko would have wanted to say how grateful he was to her, for always being there, even after he had pretended he didn’t remember their promise. Because unlike him, she had the strength to go straight back to the people who made her cry. He would have wanted to say that even now he sometimes felt like he wasn’t quite part of the group, but in the end it didn’t matter, because he needed only to glance at her to realize she was the same, always watching over everyone. Although they were both in the middle of the action in their own ways, they were also not, and Kuroko felt like no one else was quite so close to his perspective as Momoi was. That was more important to him than he had ever quite had the courage to tell her.

But, Kuroko decided that tonight, attempting a joke instead would be quite enough character development.

– Do you know what would make things even livelier? he asked, and Momoi blinked in curiosity. Kuroko pointed at Kagami and Aomine, who had suddenly (but unsurprisingly) launched into another verbal battle of egos that they (and to be honest most people they knew, including themselves) always seemed to have time for even when the clock was ticking on the basketball court, and which everyone clearly thought was just that deep.

– If they were doing it in song, Kuroko deadpanned, the Literal Trailer still kind of playing in the background in his head.

– Pfft, like a musical?! Momoi said, covering her laugh with her hand.

– Better yet, make it rhyme! Takao joined in all of a sudden, having heard them talking. He had hurried over, leaving Shin-chan to take care of his nails. For a moment the three of them amused themselves by trying to decide which musical’s style would bring the most out of the situation in front of their eyes.

– To be honest, it’s getting kinda redundant, Takao went on, gesturing at Kagami and Aomine who were utilizing their one-track minds well enough at the moment to leave Kise crying crocodile tears, trying to break up their one-on-one loop. – How about the four of us try to shake things up a bit and turn this into an actual game of basketball?

As the most level-headed person to ever play high school basketball, Takao’s suggestions were of course worth following. It wasn’t a problem that everyone else’s near total lack of a sense of relativity kept them from understanding this, because as soon as they heard “ball” they forgot about everything else.

After a good while of everyone’s favourite way of getting high on endorphins and adrenaline, Kuroko found himself sitting on the grass, having a drink with Kagami beside him. Even though Kagami hadn’t come close to beating Aomine to dust tonight, he seemed quite relaxed now, stretching his tall form beside Kuroko, under the night sky. The voices of conversation around them seemed to grow more distant, when Kuroko’s eyes focused on Kagami’s profile. He glanced back at Kuroko but there wasn’t even a hint of “what do you want?”.

– What book were you so into today? he asked instead.

Kuroko blinked.

– Since when do you want to know about books?

All the heat Kagami had managed to cool from his face surged right back.

– Well, you were literally running into people!

The self-conscious flustered face, the serious conversational one… how do I decide which one I like more?

– Hmm… just you, though, Kuroko said, and Kagami’s eyebrow rose like he had absolutely no clue how to take that.

Decision, decisions…

In the end, Kuroko seemed to decide he was going to take everything out of Kagami’s sudden interest in his reading.

– It was about this nameless young woman, who met a mysterious wealthy man on her vacation, and ended up marrying him and following him home…

– Huh? Just like that?

– Well, she was in a quite desperate situation, and they both seemed to have what the other lacked. But, actually the book was about the mysterious death of the man’s pervious wife.

– Oh.

Kagami was staring at Kuroko with a furrowed brow, which in his case, could mean he was anything from angry enough for murder to perfectly happy.

– So, was that the reason you were asking me about names? Because the girl was nameless?

Kuroko’s eyes widened slightly. He hadn’t expected Kagami to note such a thing.

– Oh. Yes.

Kagami nodded, almost like he was satisfied Kuroko’s question finally made sense.

Why did I think it wouldn’t make sense to him, in the first place?

– So… did you really start calling her Cassandra in your head, then? Kagami asked, his expression turning towards slight confusion.

– Kind of, Kuroko said with a faint smile.

– Huh.

They were silent for a moment, while Kagami looked somewhere ahead of him.

– Anyway, that character must be stupid, right?? Betting everything on following some guy she hasn’t even known that long??

Kuroko couldn’t help but smile again at Kagami’s pure reaction. But then again, hadn’t he always taken everything Kuroko said seriously, from the very start?

Well, call me Cassandra, Kuroko thought. Because I’m going to follow you.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

End note: I hope you enjoyed that. If you did, you can find this one and my other work on AO3. Although this is technically separate from my other fics, it does have plenty of nods into their direction and hints at topics that they cover. If this was the first fic you have read from me, and you wouldn't mind a much deeper dive into these characters, check out the rest of my work.

Here's the Literal Trailer, by the way.

I hope you have a good day.

evelhak/Glasssneaker

[ominouspuff]

I lost track of that one post about the clones passive aggressively wearing the names of individuals they hate during the war and then proceeding to associate that name with a bunch of stupidity, but

[floralstorms]

“WELL WELL WELL BEING”

huh

[buckevantommy]

buck, in his biggest softest most muted-tone hoodie with days of scruff while baking sweet comfort treats: of COURSE i'm depressed!!! the love of my life just dumped me i'm a MESS!!! SOMEBODY TELL ME THEY LOVE ME!! :'( :'( :'( :'(

tommy, seemingly unaffected: i am not now nor have i ever been not fine. i do not even know what that is. i have been knot fine, sure. i have been fined, true. anyway, unrelated but i may be going into cardiac arrest...

[wandixx]

GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice part 2

part one is here

@whimsicalchaosgarden you asked to be tagged, sorry it took so long

Trigger warnings: mentions of experimentation and dehumanization (tell me if there is more appropriate way of phrasing it)

“So,” Robin started, taking the voice recorder out of his utility belt. “It'll probably be best if we get an explanation while making an accident report. This way we get it all over sooner”

Everyone agreed with this idea, standing in the loose circle in the debriefing area to make it all feel more serious. They had limited time before the next batch of cookies needed to be taken out of the oven and there was no way they all wouldn't devolve into chaos when it happened. M’gann knew from experience. 

To make sure they wouldn't take too long and cookies wouldn't turn on the fire alarm (again) both she and Danny set a timer.

In the meantime they had to learn who actually attacked them earlier.

“Phantom do the honors”

Danny froze for a moment, looking like deer caught in the headlight before he asked in a bit squeaky voice:

“How do I make an accident report?”

“Just say what happened but make it sound fancy,” Artemis explained. 

“Make a mission report and we'll fix it along the way,” Kaldur proposed.

“Answer ‘When? Where? Who was involved? What happened? What have you done about it?’ without excessive use of puns to avoid Bat-lecture” Robin helped, already in handstand.

“Bat-lecture? Really Rob?”

“So it's like lab report lite” Danny said before Robin did anything more than squawk indignantly “Alright, I can do it. Do you have any set phrase to start? And which accident report is it, in the database?"

“44th… How about ‘[Hero name], report’? Sounds serious enough.”

Everyone agreed, so after a moment of silence Kaldur did the honors.

“Phantom, report”

Danny straightened, rolling his shoulders back and locked his eyes in the middle distance. It was a bit eerie how fast he went from relaxed and goofy to almost emotionless statue. M’gann wished to never encounter it again, thank you very much.

“Incident report no. 45 made by Young Justice member Phantom, regarding an attack from earlier today, 26th April 20XX. The Young Justice Team, later referred to as the Team, went on a trip to an amusement park staying currently in the city of Happy Harbour. It was an activity meant to strengthen interpersonal relationships within the Team, previously green-lit by Red Tornado. Every member was in civilian attire as per protocol. Around 3:15 PM, after two and a half hours, the Team were disturbed by a group of ten armed people, recognized by member Phantom as belonging to Ghost Investigation Ward, colloquially known as GIW or Guys In White because of their uniforms. Later in the report the organization will be referred to as the GIW. Two shots were fired by the assailants, targeting but not reaching member Phantom. Members of the GIW were hostile but with use of humor and threat of legal actions, the Team managed to diffuse the situation before it endangered passerbys. Despite direct attack, none of the Team members’ identities were compromised. Assailants left the confrontation with belief that Phantom left his ectoplasmic signature on an unrelated civilian. Agents refused to admit they were working for the GIW since its operations break a couple of laws of the state Rhode Island. Because of that, their appearance was reported to local law enforcement and taken care of. No injuries or damage to the city infrastructure were sustained other than two burns in the asphalt in the place of confrontation. Required follow-up with local law enforcement in civilian attire as victims of assault. End of report” Danny sighed, easing back into a more natural position. “This good?” he asked, with a sheepish smile.

“Perfect”

“How are you so good at reporting? You didn’t even know what to do a second ago? That’s just unfair”

“I used to write my parent’s lab reports. It’s pretty similar in form”

“Lab-”

“Follow-up to the report only, Kid-Flash,” Robin interrupted “Phantom. elaborate on who were the assailants”

Danny stepped back from himself again.

“GIW is a ghost hunting organization supported and accredited by the state government in Illinois, legally operating also in states Wisconsin and Ohio. Their goal is to catch and examine ecto-entities to learn more about their biology and ways to obliterate them. Obviously their plans for experimentation don’t include consideration of ghosts’ well-being”

“Damn, that’s messed up”

“They wouldn't catch a blob ghost if they tried,” Danny shrugged, though something was wrong with the gesture. She wasn't sure though, so she moved on.

“Then why were you scared?” M’gann pressed on instead.

“My parents… are, you know, prominent ghost hunters so when GIW opened we all got a tour around the whole building. The lab was… it made me imagine things I wished I had never thought about”

“They have labs? Like evil labs?” Robin perked up like a kid who just heard that Christmas came early. “How could you hide it from us?!” he added, falling to hang on Danny's shoulder. He twirled a bit to catch the left one even though before he stood on halfa’s right side. Dramatic as always “Conner, we have a birthday gift for you!”

“What does GIW’s lab have to do with my birthday?”

“The potential!” Robin yelled, straightening for a better effect.

Everyone started laughing. Well, everyone other than Conner who just looked at them confused.

“He probably wants to storm another lab, bring up nostalgia of our first meeting,” Kaldur calmed down just enough to explain.

“Tell me you wouldn't like to punch an evil scientist,” Wally added, almost dropping to the floor. 

“This does sound nice”

“And THIS is exactly the reason why I haven't told you all. Thanks for spoiling my surprise Rob,” Danny lied, though he did his best to sound truthful. He even projected some false mirth.

It would take much more to trick M’gann though. She abruptly stopped laughing.

“You're lying. Why actually haven't you told us?” she demanded maybe a little too harshly, but she was worried. Everyone froze for a moment, before turning to look at Danny.

“They're all bark no bite, and aim worse than Stormtroopers’, so I haven't considered them important enough to report”

Other's didn’t know, of course, but M’gann knew just how terrified Danny was during the confrontation and how echoes of that fear soured air around him even hours later.

Everyone did realize this explanation was a tone of bullshit though. 

Apparently incredulous stares were enough of the response.

“You and the Justice League have more important things to deal with than some shitty local laws”

“Bullshit again,” Artemis burst her lips “This is exactly what Justice League is for”

“I already found people to help me lobby against them”

“And why aren't we on the list?” 

Danny fell silent, not looking anyone in the eyes, which was quite a feat considering they had him in a half circle. M’gann considered moving to his side to show her support. Stare down like that had to be quite stressful.

Why not actually. She stepped closer, and drew him in the loose side hug. Danny tensed, which wasn't abnormal for him. He usually relaxed in about thirty seconds, if he didn't, she'd let go.

“I didn't expect them to breach the containment…”

“Each of these lies is worse, you know? Like, insulting our intelligence level of worse,” Artemis interrupted once more, pinning him with her eyes alone “Give us truth or stop talking”

Danny raised his head to look back at Artemis and mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key away. 

“Really?”

Boy just shrugged, not breaking eye contact.

“Alright, let's move on to the next question, how did it get approved in the first place?” Wally interrupted, waving his hand between them. They both shook off like dogs fresh out of water.

“Couldn't you wait five more seconds until I won?” 

“Ha! You wish Artemis. Though you could give us a moment”

“I gave you literal ages”

Danny snorted “Sorry, I keep forgetting how impatient you are”

“Oh shut up, my brain is just faster than yours, you slowpokes”

“Sure, sure”

“He made a good point,” Kaldur said “This shouldn’t even pass. And even if, you’re legally a Meta”

“Normal ghosts aren’t and halfas being a thing is not exactly common knowledge among the living”

“I’ll never get used to this distinction”

“I believe in you, Rob”

“What about ‘Extraterrestrial, extradimensional and otherwise previously unincluded’ Optional Protocol to the ‘International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights’?”

“Oh my god Conner, you’re the only person to say the whole name ever”

“Hey!”

“It all comes down to the definition of the ghost and the fact that Alien addition uses sentience and sapience as a ground to give anyone said rights. And also, US signed it but didn’t ratify it so…”

“Isn’t it same thing?”

“Nope. I thought so too, but apparently signing anything means nothing unless it’s also ratified, so I’m kinda fucked. Can’t even get the UN to frown at them disapprovingly, because officially, nothing was agreed to. And you know, even if they ratified it, ecto-scientists conducted enough research to prove we aren’t sapient enough to have these rights anyway. Just most of the states didn’t need to make a law out of it”

“That’s rough buddy”

“Are you really quoting Avatar at me right now? Really Artemis?”

“Yes”

“Wasn’t Avatar this movie with blue people? I don’t think they said that there”

M’gann wasn’t quite sure why human members seemed to be appalled by the question.

“We’re going to fix that later-”

“What exactly is there to be fixed, because I feel like we’re talking about to different things”

“- but for now can we go back to the whole ‘ghosts have no rights in Illinois’ thing” Robin continued, completely ignoring Conner’s questions.

“Illinois, Wisconsin and Ohio. There are portals to the Zone in two of these states. GIW already tried to send nuke through one of them”

“How Americana of them,” Kaldur muttered.

“If you have another insane tidbit about them, please share it all now. My mind can’t utilize any more revelations like that”

“I handled it, don’t worry”

“Someone tried to nuke literal Afterlife…”

“Yup, get on the schedule Kid Flash. You’re supposed to be fast”

M’gann knocked her arm into his, kinda as a ‘don’t be mean’ message. Danny kinda tensed, but soon relaxed back and moved his head as if he wanted to lay it on her shoulder. Excitement of the day was clearly catching up to him.

M’gann wouldn’t be mad if he did laid his head there.

“Why do we learn about it just now?”

“I wrote the report, not my fault you haven’t read it”

“Can’t fault us for assuming we’d know every important thing from your endless bitching!”

Danny straightened and laughed, in this horrible humorless way that made M’gann want to claw at her brain until she couldn’t hear or sense any of it.

Instead, she brought her other hand up and just held him tighter.

Thankfully the whole spectacle didn’t last long.

“It’s cute that you think I bitch about anything important”

“Phantom…”

“Don’t Phantom me right now. Even if by some miracle they managed to send the missile to the Zone, it most likely wouldn’t have worked. They’re mostly just a joke.”

“They managed to shot you. Right upper arm or shoulder”

“Don’t deny it, we’ve seen you wince when I leaned on you and when M’gann hugged you”

Martian tried to let go hearing that, but Danny held her in place. She stayed where she was but carefully moved her hand away from the slightly damp area on his shirt. She suddenly caught on everything that was wrong with him, now that she knew to look for it.

“I got worse from the hand of my house’s security system”

“You… understand that it’s… like… way worse, right?”

“You don’t know life until you hear threats of dissection against your alter ego after stopping death ray with bowl of cereal,” he said, relaxing more into her side again. He sounded absolutely exhausted.

“Do you want to move in here? Until we deal with this whole GIW and assorted mess?” she said instead. Conner nodded, surprisingly eager to share the space that he considered somewhat sacred.

“Nope, I’m good, I’m needed there”

“You could Zeta- yeah, no, nevermind, it wasn’t good idea. But we could make it work”

“You still should-”

“It’s fine. I mean, I have it handled and it doesn’t affect that many people. And we’re working on it. It’s fine”

“It really is not,” Conner growled.

“You need your arm patched up” M’gann demanded, ignoring previous conversation, with eyes still fixed on the blood that stained her forearm. She should’ve destroyed at least Operative K.

“I bandaged it up”

“It soaked through then. Let’s go to med–”

Loud shrill interrupted her, because of course it did.

“Oh, look, convenient distraction! Let’s take the cookies out before they get burned!”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” M’gann stated in a way that allowed no argument “You’re getting away for now only because I’m holding most of your weight right now”

“Sure we will. And I can stand on my own, thank you very much”

“I’ve heard many lies today and this might be the worst of them. We’re going to Medbay as soon as the cookies are out”

“You’ve got it boss”

[prince-ically]

This came to me out of nowhere and I just had to draw it and inflict it on the general population.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

SOCIETY KEEPS KILLING ONE OF THEM BCS THEIR FRIENDSHIP WOULD BE INCAPABLE FOR GALAXIES TO HANDLE !!!!!

[ganondoodle]

sorry i keep coming back to totk rants, but something that utterly baffles me from a game design perspective especially is

who, in their right mind, would think to put similar objectives with the same characters in the EXACT same place as its previous game when already reusing the same exact map (no, single rocks springkled around isnt a meaningful change, fight me)

like from a purely logical point of view its just ... not logical?? and TWICE so when most players will have played the previous game, so now that the exploration, which was the main driving point of it, isnt as satisfying simply bc you know most locations and what is what, the thing you need to do is subvert it as in you go to that location and theres something else now or something that leads to a new reveal, but not NOTHING either, bc you likely cared about what youd find- the satori mountain was such a cool mysterious place, so now you head to it to see what is now and its nothing but maybe an obvious treasure chest? thats both lazy (i realy use that since its way overused by people missusing it) and just ... it might be meant as a lil nod so that there isnt nothing at all but to me it feels even more condescending as if there were literally nothing instead

satori isnt here anymore? thats weird if its always been there, so you go find a cause, maybe theres a fissure somewhere you can enter a large cave system, an hidden entrance to the underground that reveals there is something corrupting the place somwhere nearby but not exactly in the same spot- make it into a bossfight at which end satori gets cleansed- maybe it got captured and taken somewhere else, to a place that was kinda neat but didint serve a big fucntion in botw like maybe it was dragged somwhere into the big tabantha canyon, or to the forgotten temple

you try to visit rito village but the snow and cold there got so bad that you cant even reach it without special gear, and when you do reach it its utterly frozen in thick ice and not a single soul is there, the perch of vah medoh is knocked over building a bridge as a subtle hint as to in what direction perhaps, its intriguing bc clearly they have to be SOMEWHERE, maybe they tried to use vah medoh to evacuate but bc its losing power and doesnt have a skilled pilot they crash land it into the mountains, now trapped there and due to the storm not able to send anyone out to get help, maybe some did but they didnt make it and you can find them on your way and rescue them, and bc of the storm being so bad no one can get out and no one can get in (except for our special boi linky ofc) and even after the storm has weakened they dont immediately go back and act like everythings normal, maybe theres an extra mission afterwards helping them rebuild the village but not exactly the same as it was but fortified, different to account for things like this happening again, establishing the crashsite of vah medoh as a second outpost, or a temple, to thank it for bringing them out of immedaite danger but couldnt go all the way

theres so many places that are so clearly modeled around botw that are entirely unused now bc they had to remove all things shiekah for no reason, the holes they left jsut being holes where somethings clearly missing or some chest with a gem in it while the new shrine thing is within view distance a few meters away, might as well have put them in the exact same place bc it really doesnt make a difference

(like alot of those ideas im using for the rewrite which changes many things but you get the point right??)

and its even worse imo with the building stuff, bc now you dont even have to journey there you can fly glide and literally drive there instantly like a giant skip button so you cant even appreaciate the way to it, you skip to one important part to the next

and then points of interest are REPEATED AGAIN, like with shrines and lightroots and settlements and big mines- that is the opposite of satisfying gameplay, you dont have to explore shit bc its all in the same place which is probably why they only did tiny changes to those few spots and nothing else bc they knew most people would run right to those so it gives the illusion of changes (which are half reversable or barely a change at all) and even those are STILL meaningless

its right up there with having even MORE grind with less substance to it than in botw, the shrines and krogs got a lil old but at least the environment, its subtle storytelling etc were something- and totk just bloated everything with more little meaningless collectables while not changing anything meaningfully (and instead pretends that some things where never there and those new boring things were always there)

more shriens with shorter puzzles or none at all, more krogs with the same reward system, over a hundred tiny caves that all blend together bc they are all so similar and you really only do them for yet another colelctable for old gear and ONE cool new one with a bad effect after which the things collected become uselessreally, souls to collect to buy you a single armor set, rewards being largley reused old stuff from botw (imo you should have a chest in your house, yes YOUR house, that got most of the standard versions of botws armor in it so you dont have to buy it all again??? but you gotta think of going home first and dont have to use it- make new versions of them alternatively so you can choose if you want the old one or new one and also LEAVE ONE AT YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT HAVING TO SELL IT SO YOUT INVENTORY ISNT AS ENDLESSLY SCROLLING AS YOUR STUPID ARROW BAR)

theres new effects from food and armor thats largely useless (like the attack when hot?? why wouldnt you you jsut combine an armor and a potion- put on hot armor and drink an attack potion? its way more efficient no?? idk i found it to be yet another effect thing to bloat my inventory especially when NPCs keep giving you shitty effect food)

the whole sonanium (zonaite?) collecting with multiple ways to convert it into yet another currency??? huh???? AND have it be the thing for you to autobuild with?? when you need it upgrade your battery which takes an insane amount of those stones?? wells, while finally an actual well are NOW ALSO LIKE A COLLECTABLE and im gonna take a wild guess that the reward is utterly disappointing too

the fairies are all blocked by much more annoying means than in botw (like i wouldnt want to carry those NPCs three meters away in their little cart antoehr time please) and the amount of material AND MONEY NOW you need is so much higher for no reason (if its their attempt to make the game harder its the lamest way to do it)-

all while instead of expanding on the foundation of botw they ripped it out to build a new one while pretending they are both there (im so so slaty about this .... a sequel like this should expand upon the stuff of the first game, both in theme, narrative, mechanics and more and not ... replace it with slightly different versions of it while abandoning everything established before and really only using it as a way to skip having to make you care about some characters bc you might still care about them from the other game)

i could go on, as always lol, anyway, i really really dont get why this got into the final game ..

[shorthaltsjester]

maybe this is just because it feels like a metaphor for how tlovm uses vex in general (and i could write an essay about it and have and will again) but something that i both understand tlovm choosing to do and deeply hate as a choice they made is vex no longer being the one to break thordak’s crystal even though vax was still the one to kill him. especially since the show was very explicit about thordak being responsible for killing the twins’ mother and also set it up as a sort of avenging of percy, it felt tonally weird to literally just have vex hanging out in the background for both the crystal breaking and him being killed. it’s fine (deeply upset voice) i understand that adjustments to pike’s vestige made this make sense for the plot but. glad to have vex continue to be a witness in tlovm moments that in the campaign her agency in were delicious character moments. it’s fine.

[itspileofgoodthings]

ALSO I am learning how to teach very introverted students, something my natural skillset as a teacher does not help me with.

[carefulfears]

one thing that stands out to me about the IVF arc is the way that, for as much as i make fun of her for asking her coworker if she can have his babies, scully asking mulder to be involved in the biggest process of her life (and the most important thing in the rest of her life) is such a healing and reverent experience. like he says “i’m absolutely flattered,” but it’s so much more than that. it’s like…spending your whole life feeling like you should’ve died at age twelve and then being told someone just wants more of you, more and more and more, in everything.

[tragedy-for-sale]

Obi-Wan and Anakin and all the damage they've done to each other

Re-watching this scene will help you understand my analysis a lot more. The episode is S6 E6 The Rise of Clovis

When Obi-Wan comes into Anakin's room, he immediately picks up a droid head, showing an interest in what Anakin is doing while talking to him. You do this with kids, they're more likely to open up and talk to you because you're not really talking, you're just playing. Obi-Wan knows he's going to upset Anakin because he understands Anakin better than anyone. It's in this moment Obi-Wan reverts back into when they were younger, when Anakin was a child and Obi-Wan's role was much more parental.

Anakin opens up to Obi-Wan but then he gets upset. He walks away and he picks up the model star ship. He plays with the ship because it doesn't matter how old you get, you still feel like a child when you're with your parent. He opens up, but anger follows yet again, and the moment he gets angry, he slams the ship down because he's loved too deeply all his life and he doesn't want to hear about it again.

After Anakin slams the ship down, saying he understands his responsibilities, Obi-Wan's tone changes. It's no longer gentle, his voice is sharp and it's as if he's aged ten years. He tried approaching this situation with an invitation to let Anakin express his feeling. Obi-Wan mentions Satine, he tries to connect with Anakin by sharing something personal but Anakin yells at him instead.

Also, when Obi-Wan says this, he doesn't look at Anakin, his back is turned to him because he knows if Anakin is going to open up to him, it won't be face to face. Because how could they ever admit anything to each other after all the times they've let each other down? How can they look each other in the eye?

Watch Obi-Wan in the second and third gif, what Anakin says is his 'strikeback' he's frustrated and he's taking all of it out on Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan no longer tries to reach Anakin, he lays down what needs to happen, daresay his tone is sharpest here, then he gets up and he leaves. Anakin knows that Obi-Wan knows, but Obi-Wan pretends not to know and he's happy to play along, and maybe he shouldn't keep pretending, but how could Obi-Wan do anything to ruin the only true happiness in Anakin's life?

So, Obi-Wan leaves, giving Anakin one last look, because he knows if he does anymore damage to Anakin, there'll be nothing left to ruin. Watch Obi-Wan's face in the gif, you cannot tell me he doesn't look sad. That's the face of a man trying to be strong but his eyes give him away.

LOOK AT ANAKIN'S HAND IN THE LAST GIF. HE'S REACHING FOR OBI-WAN BECAUSE HE WANTS TO TAKE ALL HIS ANGER BACK BUT ANGER IS ALL HE HAS TO GIVE.

[jamandjazz]

Johnnys always tense and once Sodapop tried to give him a back massage and freaked the fuck out because WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR BACK?!?

[menlove]

forever haunted by that francie quote where she says like "he was john's princess, if you can dig that" like yes miss francie i certainly can dig that

[faaun]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

[duckydrawsart]

it is kinda funny whenever my art breaches containment and people always comment on the blush (usually very confused) as if the characters are actually in love/flustered

like. no buddy that's just how I color everyone lol