#crack detector
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pft-pics-and-videos · 2 years ago
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Crack Detector Ardenta 300 Egg Grader.
Made by PFT Manufacturing
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starleska · 3 months ago
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sorry for simping for yet another awful greaseball, but Enlighter | Qi Shi is sooo pathetic and chronically online!!! i just know that man has a Reddit account 🫠💖
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twistedappletree · 2 years ago
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xue yang posing as xiao xingchen: thank you so much for your help, i’ve been tirelessly fighting these corpses for hours upholding my role as an esteemed, righteous cultivator—
jin ling: *passes out*
xue yang: the hell’s wrong with him?
wei wuxian: huh? oh, he’s allergic to bullshit. yep, out cold whenever he hears it.
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girl-detector · 4 months ago
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Can a headache feel minty?
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superconductivebean · 3 months ago
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#1622
Quillbot introduced a new feature: level of confidence its AI-for-AI supposes something has been generated or touched by the AI.
This feature, as predicted, rolls like the utter shitewheel it certainly is, because of course the AI will mark M-dashes and parenthesis incised into the sentence as at least AI-refined. And no, there would not be a clear guideline for how to use this feature.
By that I mean a clear instruction for how to… *sigh* Text generation is math. A lot of teeth-cracking math, some rigid programming, and all of that is based in linguistics. Neither field is particularly easy to get into and have a solid grasp on, so it should be logical a tool presented as easy-to-use and entirely-comprehensible in regards of all this—so in the form of percentages and now Confidence—*must* include explanations for either category with which it will mark texts.
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penandswords · 9 months ago
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@divinityunleashed
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Rima slowly squints. She's got a knot in her stomach.
"I don't know. Something tells me I shouldn't... What are you going to wish for?"
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sandeepkaur4288 · 6 months ago
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Magnetic Crack Detector Machine
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Demagnetizers Machines play a crucial role in various industries by effectively removing residual magnetism, thus ensuring the quality and functionality of the final products.
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magnatechrmc · 9 months ago
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Magnatech RMC is known for providing advanced, high-performance Magnaflux machines, designed to detect surface and subsurface flaws with accuracy, making them an ideal choice for industries requiring stringent quality control. #MagnafluxMachine #Machine #business
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justiisms · 11 months ago
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("Hmm... Hmm...!!") *shinigami thoughtfully rubs her chin while staring at yuta, her smile growing even wider as she watches his ahoge waggling about!*
("Since that dumb strand of idiot hair is in the shape of a question mark, what if it starts wiggling whenever there's a mystery nearby! What if my twin masters have a built-in mystery detector?! Or maybe it's just that little, green sprout that coconuts have when they're ready to grown into a palm tree, kyahaha~!!")
("...?") Yuta stares up at her with a confused look on his face, of course being unaware of his waggling ahoge!!
("H-Hey, lay off the insults! ...And I highly doubt that's what it actually is, Shinigami. If that was the case, Yuma and I would probably be detecting mysteries all the time, then.")
And at that coconut joke, he squints even harder, reaching up to 'bap' her!! ("No it isn't. Good grief... I-I'll never go a day without a stupid coconut joke, will I...Don't make me bap you with a ghost plushie, now!")
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beloveds-embrace · 6 months ago
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(Poly 141 x neighbour!reader: the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! (Or in your case, the way to four men’s heart is through their stomach))
It started with cookies.
You’d been in the middle of baking a double batch- oatmeal chocolate chip, your personal favorite- and realized halfway through scooping them onto the tray that you’d made far too many for one person. It wasn’t unusual. Baking was how you coped with stress, and ever since you’d moved into this apartment building, stress had been in no short supply.
The guy in 3A had blared music all night. Your hot water barely lasted five minutes. And your smoke detector had developed a habit of chirping at odd hours.
But there was one bright spot- your neighbors in 3C.
You’d seen them coming and going. Tall, broad, and always carrying duffel bags that looked far too heavy to be legal. They kept odd hours, too, but never caused trouble. One of them- Johnny, you’d learned later- had even held the door open for you when your arms were full of groceries.
Which was why you’d stood outside their door that evening, balancing a plate of cookies and feeling like an idiot as you knocked.
Not-Johnny had answered first, blinking down at you in surprise, though his smile was warm and he was beautiful. You couldn’t blame him; you had barely spoken to them more than a few short words.
“Uh… hi?”
“Hi.” You forced a smile. “I’m your neighbor from 3B. I, uh… made too many cookies?”
His eyes dropped to the plate immediately, and you swore you saw something primal flicker behind them. Still, you worried.
“I mean, if you don’t want-”
“No! No, we want. Come in- Johnny! Get over here!”
And that was how it started.
The second time had been lasagna.
You’d just finished assembling it when you realized- again- that you’d made too much. So, after psyching yourself up for ten minutes, you’d knocked on their door for the second time in as many weeks.
Price, who had introduced himself along wuth Simon the day you dropped off the cookies, had answered that time, his expression guarded until he saw the foil-covered pan in your hands.
“You’re joking,” he’d said, but when you started to retreat, he’d stopped you with a firm, but gentle hand on your back. He had such a nice, big hand. “Don’t be ridiculous, lovie. Get in here.”
That night, you’d sat at their table, sharing stories and laughter while they cleaned the dish down to the last crumb.
After that, it became routine.
You started “testing recipes,” and they became your eager guinea pigs.
And they never seemed to mind.
And now…
The smell hit first- roasted garlic, browned butter, and something rich simmering low and slow. It snuck out from the slightly cracked kitchen window and spilled into the shared hallway of the apartment building. For men used to MREs and takeout, it was practically siren song.
Gaz was the first to notice, lingering just outside the door labeled 3B- your door- with an almost predatory focus. He wasn’t proud of it, but his stomach growled so loud that Soap- rounding the corner with a gym bag slung over his shoulder- laughed outright.
“You stalking the neighbor again?”
“Shut up. You smell that?”
Soap inhaled deeply. His eyes fluttered shut for a beat before snapping open.
“Jesus wept- what is that?!”
“I don’t know, but I’m this close to knocking.” Kyle held up his fingers, barely an inch apart.
“She already fed us last week, mate. Dinna push it.”
“But what if she’s testing another recipe?”
Gaz wasn’t wrong. You had a habit of showing up at their door with dishes too good to refuse.
They hadn’t stood a chance.
After the cookies and the lasagna, it wasn’t long before other dishes followed: casseroles, soups, pies, and even homemade bread. And the worst part? You bow always prefaced it by saying you needed an opinion- like they were doing you the favor.
It wasn’t until Price called you a “bloody saint” over a pan of enchiladas that Ghost finally put it together.
“You’re using us as taste testers.” He’d said flatly.
You’d grinned- too cute and too smug for your own good. “Is that a problem?”
Not a single one of them had said no, just as stated before.
Which led them here, hovering outside your door and pretending they weren’t waiting for another offering.
“… Fine.” Soap muttered, raising his hand to knock.
But the door swung open before he could, and there you were- apron on, hair pulled back, and flour dusted across your cheek.
“Hi!” You chirped, eyes bright. “Perfect timing!”
Gaz’s grin was pure relief. “Tell me you need opinions. Please, love.”
You laughed, stepping aside to let them in. “I always need opinions. Come in!”
Inside, the kitchen was chaos. Cutting boards and mixing bowls were scattered across the counters. A Dutch oven bubbled on the stove, releasing clouds of savory steam. Plates of food- half-assembled sandwiches, stuffed peppers, and what looked like chocolate tarts- sat waiting.
“I… might’ve gone overboard.” You admitted, and if you hadn’t spent all day in the kitchen, your cheeks would’ve gone warmer.
Soap whistled low, eyes raking over every dish. “Not complainin’.”
Price arrived just then, texted by Kyle, trailed closely by Simon, who took one look at the spread and froze. His eyes swept from the roasted chicken resting under a blanket of fresh herbs to the still-warm biscuits stacked beside a bowl of honey butter.
“What’s the occasion?” John asked, smile amused, but you just waved him off.
“Practicing.”
Gaz was already halfway to the table, trying to decide what to start with, but Simon lingered, watching you carefully. He had his balaclava on, though you haven’t yet dared to ask why he wears it.
“Practicing for what, exactly?”
You hesitated, fiddling with the edge of your apron. “There’s this… thing next week. A community bake-off. And I thought it might be fun to enter.”
Soap arched a brow. “You’re entering this in a bake-off?”
“Well, not all of it. I’m still deciding which dishes to use.”
“You’re winning.” Kyle said immediately, filling his plate.
“Definitely.” Johnny added, already reaching for a sandwich.
Simon, still lingering, crossed his arms and stared down at you. His height will never, ever not make your breath hitch. “You’re testing all of this on us?”
You looked up at him through your lashes, pouting just a little. “You don’t mind, do you, Simon?”
His gaze darkened- not in anger, but something softer, heavier. It made your stomach flip.
“No,” he said simply. “We don’t mind.”
You swallowed and turned quickly to the oven to hide the heat rushing to your cheeks.
The next hour passed in a blur of taste testing, arguments over which dish was best, and repeated assurances that you were going to “blow the competition out of the water.” But beneath the laughter and teasing, you failed to catch the way they looked at you- how Price lingered by the stove just to steal extra bites, or how Johnny kept offering to help, hovering close enough that you brushed elbows more than once.
And Simon? He was the worst of all. He didn’t say much, but his eyes tracked your every move, following the way your hands worked the dough or wiped flour off the counter. He was the last to leave, hanging back as the others helped clear plates.
“You’re serious about this bake-off?” he asked quietly.
You nodded. “Thought it might be fun.”
“You don’t need it.”
“… What?”
He gestured at the now-empty plates. “To prove anything, I mean. You’re already…” He trailed off for a few seconds, and though you were left blinking at him, you didn’t rush him. “Good enough.” he murmured at last.
The compliment hit harder than you expected, and for once, you didn’t have a clever response.
“Thank you, Simon. That… means a lot to me.” you said softly.
And just like that, the others reappeared, breaking the moment. Johnny patted Simon’s shoulder with a knowing smirk, and Kyle slung an arm around your shoulders, while Price merely watched. Your kitchen was now spotless, cleaned by them.
“When’s the next test run?” Gaz asked.
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, let us know. We’re free anytime.”
“Yeah,” Soap added. “Anytime.”
You laughed but this time, you didn’t miss the way Price was looking at you- thoughtful, like he’d already made up his mind about something.
The door clicked shut behind them after that, leaving your apartment quieter but no less warm. The scent of roasted garlic and herbs still lingered, and you found yourself smiling as you surveyed the spotless kitchen. They’d made quick work of the mess, trading jokes and lighthearted jabs as they wiped down counters and stacked dishes in quite the uniform style.
You didn’t know what you’d done to deserve neighbors like them, but you weren’t about to question it.
You caught yourself humming as you tucked away the last plate, the sound of their laughter still echoing faintly in your ears. It was easy with them- comfortable in a way that felt rare and almost too good to be true.
And maybe it was.
Because what you didn’t know- what you would probably never know, such a sweet and trusting thing- was that your apartment had been wired within days of your first visit to their door.
To them, it had started with a conversation.
“She’s alone,” Price had said after the second time you’d brought them food, leaning back in his chair with a contemplative frown. “No sign of anyone else coming or going.”
“Security’s shite.” Gaz had added, gesturing vaguely toward the shared hallway where your lock barely functioned half the time.
Soap had shrugged, easygoing as ever, but his eyes had been sharp. “Better us keep an eye on her than let some arsehole get the chance.”
And that was that.
Price had ordered the equipment, Ghost had handled the installation, and none of them had lost sleep over it. Not when it meant keeping you safe.
It wasn’t just the cameras, either.
Simon had reinforced your locks under the guise of “fixing” them after you mentioned a struggle with your key. Johnny had talked you into letting him check your windows “just to be sure they latched properly.” Gaz had set up an app on your phone to “monitor deliveries,” though it also let them track your location if needed.
And Price? He always lingered at the door just long enough to ask if you needed anything else- subtle, but enough to make sure you knew they were there.
You never questioned it. Never noticed the way they moved like a unit around you, anticipating problems before they could arise. Never caught the glances they exchanged when you mentioned a repairman or the way Simon hovered near the window any time a car idled too long outside.
You just kept feeding them, trusting them in ways that only made their resolve deepen.
Price was the worst.
He’d leaned against the counter tonight, watching you laugh at Johnny’s jokes and swat at Kyle when he tried to sneak extra bites, and the thought had hit him harder than he expected, while Simon watched on in amusement and was the only to successfully swipe a few more bites.
They could’ve had this already.
If life had gone differently- if timing had been better- you could’ve been his. Theirs. Someone to come home to instead of just someone they visited between deployments.
He hadn’t said anything, of course. None of them had.
But as they left, he’d lingered in the doorway, letting his hand rest lightly against the frame.
“Don’t let ‘em eat it all before the bake-off,” he’d teased, lips curling into a smile. “They’ll start begging if you do.”
You’d laughed, and God, it was dangerous how much he liked the sound.
“I’ll make sure to keep them in line.”
His smile softened. “Good girl.”
You didn’t notice the way Simon shot him a sharp look at that- or the way Johnny and Kyle exchanged knowing grins.
And later, when Price sat down in front of the monitors to check the feeds, he didn’t let himself feel guilty.
Because you were safe.
And as far as they were concerned, that was all that mattered.
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gloomwitchwrites · 2 months ago
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Hi!!!! I'm currently indulging in your adorable fluff fics about our beloved COD men!! They are FREAKING ADORABLE.
Could you write one imagine with just pure cute, domesticated fluff? Like married life/life w kids or smth with TF141. I'm up for anything haha. It's okay if u don't want to ! 😄<33
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I did have someone request domestic fluff not too long ago, but I couldn't help myself. I had to jump on your ask, anon, and write some more domestic fluff!! You can read that other domestic fluff imagines fic here. I incorporated some dad!141 here with Ghost and Price. The whole thing is just softness and sweetness. Enjoy!!
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings: domestic fluff, dad!Price, dad!Simon
Word Count: 800
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if series
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John Price
This isn’t John’s thing, but he’ll do it for his daughters.
John sits at one end of the table while you sit on the other, your two daughters seated on either side. His three favorite girls are all dressed up. You’re decked out in a witch’s outfit, something you found stowed away in a storage bin. His two daughters with you are dressed up like their Dungeons & Dragons characters. One, a wood elf ranger. The other, a half-elf cleric.
John isn’t dressed up, but from the character sheet you’ve put in front of him, his name is Gurlak, a half-orc barbarian. Rip and tear. Punch and smash. Easy. He can do that.
Family board game night has become Dungeons & Dragons night. The girls’ school started a club, and now they’ve brought it home, completely obsessed with it.
“From the dark,” you begin, lowering your voice. The girls lean in, eyes wide. “Yellow eyes peer back at you.”
The girls giggle, the youngest bouncing in her chair.
John smiles, and sighs with contentment. He wishes every night could be like this.
Your hands raise high above you, and then smack against the table. The girls jump, startled.
“Roll initiative!”
John "Soap" MacTavish
It’s early, and Johnny is determined. Upstairs, your alarm is off, silenced on purpose.
Before him on the kitchen counter is everything he needs to prepare breakfast. Eggs, bacon, batter for pancake and waffles, fresh fruit, shredded potatoes—an endless list of items that covers the granite countertop in a sea of colorful boxes and containers.
With the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips, Johnny begins warming pans and popping slices of bread into the toaster. He melts into the work, slicing fruit, placing bacon in the pan to sizzle. Johnny’s minds drifts, and with his back turned to the stove, he doesn’t notice the bacon fat as it urges toward flame.
It’s the whiff of something burning that distracts him from turning a strawberry into a flower. Then the shriek of the smoke detector.
“Hells,” he mutters, snagging the smoking pan and dumping it into the sink. He opens the window.
“What’s happening?” You rub at your eyes, sleep lacing your tone.
Johnny shrugs sheepishly. “Making you breakfast? Burning the house down?”
You blink, and then laugh, rushing to turn the vent fan on, the two of you laughing as you clear the house of smoke.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle awakens in the dark. Immediately, without even having to turn over, he knows you’re not in bed. That familiar weight is missing.
With a slight twist, Kyle reaches out, finding only coldness. Stretching, Kyle sits up, glancing around the silent bedroom. All is still and dark. The bathroom door is cracked, but the light isn’t on. Slowly, with sleep still clinging to his muscles, Kyle guides himself from bed, heading for the door. Out in the hall, he walks toward the living room, knowing that you might be curled up on the sofa, completely absorbed in a book.
But you are not on the sofa with your book and blanket.
Kyle finds you in the kitchen, the double doors of the refrigerator standing open, the harsh light bathing you in its glow.
“Midnight snack?” asks Kyle.
You pop your head out from around the door, chewing on something. Kyle snorts and saunters over, coming up behind you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he places his chin on your shoulder.
“Willing to share?” he murmurs.
“Not if it’s ice cream,” you reply.
Kyle smiles, and places a kiss your neck. You lean into him, and Kyle pulls you closer.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Dinner is always chaotic, but everyone sits at the table.
Simon forks up some of his lasagna, popping it into his mouth as he grabs the plate of his youngest. Using the child-size plastic knife and fork, he starts hacking away at her portion of lasagna, cutting it into smaller pieces. She watches, pointing and directing while chewing on her garlic bread when she thinks Simon isn’t cutting the pieces small enough for her liking.
The two middle children fuss and argue at each other from across the table. They both want the bottle of salad dressing, but only one manages to snag it before the other. She shakes the bottle, pops the tab, and a massive wad of ranch splatters across her plate. Her sister laughs in her face, and then complains loudly when half of the smeared ranch ends up on her plate.
Simon glances up, finds you in conversation with the oldest as she shows off her report card. His heart flips, surges, becomes so full that it’s prone to bursting. Most of his life, a family seemed a distant, unobtainable dream. But surrounding him is all he cares about in this world.
He couldn’t be happier.
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maskedbyghost · 3 months ago
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I just had a funny thought—like, what if Simon, the man who would never confess his feelings out loud, got caught by a lie detector?
Simon had always acted like he hated you. He was distant, cold, sometimes downright rude. If you cracked a joke, he barely acknowledged it. If you tried to tease him, he shut it down with a look. The man was impossible to read, and if he had any feelings toward you, they were buried so deep that even he probably forgot they existed. So you accepted it—Simon Riley didn’t like you; end of story.
But one day, Soap decided to have a little fun. He managed to get his hands on a lie detector—a cheap thing, but functional enough for their purposes. And, with the whole team already invested, he convinced Simon to sit down and give it a go.
With a devilish grin, Soap set the machine up, clearly pleased with himself. "This is gonna be good."
Simon, sitting across the room with his arms crossed, lets out an unimpressed sigh. "No."
"C’mon, LT," Soap coaxes, already setting up the device. "What, you scared?"
"I just think it’s a waste of time."
"Which is exactly what someone scared would say," you tease, shooting him a playful look. "What, afraid we’ll expose your deep, dark secrets?"
Simon exhales sharply, like he's regretting every life decision that led him here. But Soap is relentless, and the rest of the team is already invested, so with a roll of his eyes, he lets them strap the device to his arm.
"Alright, let’s keep it simple," Soap says, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "What’s your name?"
"Simon Riley."
The machine stays steady.
"See? Works fine!" Soap says. "Alright, next—Do you like tea more than coffee?"
"Tea."
No lie.
"Do you think I’m the best-looking guy on base?" Soap asks, waggling his brows.
"No."
The machine doesn’t waver, and the room erupts into laughter. Soap clutches his chest in mock offense. "Brutal, mate!"
You chuckle along with the others, watching Simon’s expression remain unreadable as always. It’s honestly kind of fun seeing him like this, forced to answer without his usual way of avoiding things.
Soap’s grin widened as he leaned forward, looking between the two of you. "Alright, let’s get to the real stuff—do you love her?" He gave Simon a knowing look, clearly enjoying how uncomfortable the whole thing was getting.
Your breath catches, and you’re about to brush it off as a joke when Simon—without hesitation—mutters a firm, "No."
But the machine beeps. A lie.
Silence crashes over the room.
Soap stares. You stare. The team erupts into howls of laughter, and you feel your stomach twist because Simon—who is always composed, always in control—looks genuinely horrified.
"Ohhh, shite!" Soap hollers, slapping his knee. "You were sayin', Lt?"
Gaz is wheezing. "He thought he could lie! He really thought—"
Your face is burning, your heart pounding in your chest as you look at Simon. His eyes flick to you for the briefest second before he stands up abruptly, yanking the device off his arm.
"This thing's faulty," he mutters, turning on his heel to leave the room.
"Faulty my ass!" Soap yells after him, still cackling.
You sit there, still stunned, watching Simon disappear through the door. The laughter continues around you, but all you can hear is the echo of the lie detector beeping, proving something that you never in a million years thought you'd hear confirmed.
Simon Riley loves you.
PART 2
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idk its dumb...
@daydreamerwoah @kylies-love-letter @ghostslollipop @kittygonap @alfiestreacle
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specialgradefckr · 6 months ago
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Cutest Girl Alive~
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tw: explicit content. brat!reader, gojo is not a brat tamer he is a brat enjoyer, hate sex vibes, very very tsundere!reader, gojo is hilariously oblivious about how annoying he is, reader is kinda mean (not without reason...)
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satoru gojo who just doesn't know what your problem is.
he really doesn't! suguru doesn't believe him, of course, but it's true - he didn't do anything. at least not anything that would warrant you asking if his "inbred, illiterate ass is too important to file a report".
ichiji said it was just because his paper backlog made things difficult for everybody. but the inbreeding comment was uncalled for!
his mom is super hot, though. he told you as much, and offered to set up a date, just in case you swung the other way.
unfortunately, the only thing that swung was your hand against his face, which didn't make contact, but it still hurt his feelings!
(you'd looked him dead in the eye. "good." walked away.)
and that wasn't just an isolated incident!
he'd caught you at the vending machine, bent over. satoru had politely refrained from slapping your ass and loudly announced how hot it was.
perfect gentleman!
whereupon you had turned around, smiling tightly, and offered him the soda.
"see," he teased, cracking it open, "i knew you could be nice if-"
the soda sprayed all over his face. your smile looked a little looser, a little realer, and your laugh - while awful and wicked - had been terribly adorable.
when he started to laugh with you, though, you just glared. rolled your eyes, and walked off in the middle of the conversation.
and just. random moments! your face falls into an admittedly cute pout (suguru says it's a grimace) whenever he walks into the room.
"how's your day been?"
"good, until you got here."
like, he's not crazy here. you're just being mean.
honestly, it's kind of funny. or it would be funny, if it didn't kind of hurt a little.
suguru doesn't get the same kind of response. when he begs, pleads, and bribes suguru into asking you what you don't like about him -
"if i had to say... everything."
whereupon suguru had burst out laughing.
mean!
but that's the thing, though. you were nice to suguru, to everyone else.
you're not a bitch. you're a bitch to him.
he's special.
you don't treat anybody else like this.
why is that, satoru ponders. why do you especially dislike him?
suguru says it's his shitty personality. joke's on suguru because his best friend has been some guy with a shitty personality for about a decade now! loser.
anyways, he comes up with a plan. he texts you from another phone and number, something perfectly random and polite. a picture of a cat he found on the street.
(you love cats so you'll definitely respond. he knows because he's been popping in on you for several weeks now. it's not stalking because he doesn't follow you! and that was so rude of suguru to say!)
the conversation that follows is perfectly pleasant. sweet, even. he enjoys it, right up until -
mean girl <3: hey could you do me a huge favor actually? satoru gojo: anything 4 u kitten!! mean girl <3: kill yourself gojo
his number is blocked.
whoops. wow. do you have a built in satoru gojo detector or something? what is he missing? what gave him away???
suguru looks over the texts and just stares at him blankly at the question.
"well? what could have clued her in?"
"oh, god... satoru, if you can't tell, just forget about it. and stop trying to fool her."
he probably should. stop, that is.
he's not following you but he's definitely teleporting into places he knows you'll be. trying to run into you. constantly. daily. hourly, even.
he likes to stay updated on all your missions. your favorite restaurants. maybe he watches you a little.
there's just something that draws him in. your quick wits, your derision. the way you look at him with all that fire.
you want to laugh at him. he wants to laugh with you.
and yeah, he gets rock hard when you yell at him. he'd let you slap him but you don't bother trying anymore after hitting his infinity that one time. bummer.
it's a late summer evening - sun still up, orange on the horizon. he's stuck filling out reports, you're stuck grading papers.
in silence, as always. you'd never speak to him unless it was to insult him.
"hey," satoru says all the sudden, "you wanna fuck?"
the silence that fills the room is colder, harder -
"are you fucking serious?" insulted, outraged - that's about what he expected.
but... if he looks with the six eyes... if he glances at your sympathetic nervous system, if he squints really hard and swears three times over, maybe he can convince himself -
"you're not totally against the idea, are you?" he draws himself up from the table, smirking.
hooking a finger in his blindfold like he's trying to remind you just how long they are.
you stare at him.
"dead serious," he confirms, "right here right now. i can be fast."
"i don't doubt it." oooh, there's that bite again, "i doubt i'd enjoy it."
his smile bares teeth.
"wanna bet?"
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and fuck, just look at you now. look at you!
with all six eyes he is. and satoru likes what he sees.
hunched over, teary eyed. face bright red. you used to scowl at him with that face, that pretty face, all hard lines and snarled lips -
and look at you now! so cute and precious and soft! so sweet he wants to take a bite out of you.
you even yelp, adorably, when he nips at the inside of your thigh. sensitive, twitchy.
he's dizzy with it. with the taste of you, of your cum. your high pitched little whimpers in his ears are still ringing in his ears, along with your mean retorts.
"where's your smart mouth now, baby?" he teases, lips glossy with your slick.
and god, it's even fucking hotter watching you try to glare while blushing and trembling and blinking away tears of overstimulation.
"sh-shut up and put your dick in me, gojo," you bite out, "if you even know how."
you jolt when he kisses your cunt, looking you in the eyes while he does it.
"awh, you poor thing," he cooes, crawling up your chest to go face-to-face, even as another hand goes to dig his cock out of his pants, "so impatient."
he can tell it riles you up. that you don't know what to do, trapped in his gaze.
"fuck off, gojo."
"i'll fuck you," he says with a snicker, kissing your throat. like he knows you won't let him kiss your lovely little pouty face.
how could he not have seen it before?
(well, he had his blindfold on for one. but the principle of you being unsettled by your attraction towards him still stands!)
he lines himself up, nice and easy. feels your unsteady hands reach, cling to his shoulders, and that's almost as hot.
you look down to avoid his gaze, but then your eyes widen at the sight of his cock. huge and pink and throbbing.
"yummy, right?" he croons, "you can have a taste after if you want. you're so sweet, you deserve a lick or two."
you make this sharp gasp, the most adorable, helpless noise, your whole body jerking as he plunges into you, and satoru nearly cums just from that.
cute. cute cute cute cute so fucking cute he's gonna go crazy.
he bites at the place your shoulder meets your neck just to sate himself. soft skin, tender flesh. salty and slick from sweat.
you melt in his mouth. around his dick. whimpering and sniffling and mewling little demands.
"get on with it, gojo, fuck, is this your first time - "
"first time fucking a cunt this wet?" he purrs between sucking marks on your neck, "yeah, baby. it's crazy, how much you want me."
"you went down on me for like," another high-pitched squeak as he nips your ear, "t-ten minutes, dumbass. of course i'm wet!"
your hands claw at him, trembling just like your voice.
he shoves himself in, all the way to the hilt, disintegrating any coherence you had left. all you can do is cry out, wailing when his long fingers brush over your poor, swollen, tender clit.
"awh, baby, you can take it," he croons. his heart does a little delighted flutter when he sees your (utterly kissable) lips purse in annoyance, only to fall apart again when he pumps back into you.
"run out of nasty things to say, huh, baby?" satoru swears he can feel your pretty little clit twitching and pulsing at his touch, just like his cock throbs inside you.
his eyes glitter as he thrusts in and out. god, your hot fucking body tensing and shuddering against him, the exhaustion warring with pleasure and aggravation on your face.
there's not a single part of you that isn't utterly fixated on him. in this moment he's the most important thing in your world.
and it's glorious. your cunt is clenching him like a vice, unraveling him almost as far as he's already unwound you. little moans spill from your mouth, music to his ears.
that face, god, that fucking gorgeous face that's always frowning at him. so pretty now.
"look at you," he pants, close so close, "god, you're - such a bitch all the time - you just needed a good fucking, huh?"
satoru snatches your face by the jaw, looking you straight in the eyes.
they're all wet and messy and a little bit red. he's so close he has to press hard, fast circles into your clit to get you closer, closer -
"f-fuck," you sob, "fuck, hngh, you-"
he licks your tears off your cheeks, "just needed some good cock, huh? that's all it takes to shut your mean little mouth?"
clawing at his back. he feels you squeezing him for all he's worth, milking him -
"fuck, i'm cumming," he groans, bursting hot and liquid in your tight cunt.
you gulp down heavy, airy breaths. delicate noises as you tremble in his arms.
fuck, you're so gorgeous. satoru lays you back, your lashes fluttering, face flushed, spread out on the desk all limp and exhausted.
his ravished beauty. his little spitfire.
"see," he cooes, cupping your cheek, "all sweet for me now that you're filled with my cum. see how nice it feels when you're good for me?"
your hands shoot up, slapping his hand away, covering your face.
"your mouth is literally only good for eating pussy."
he laughs, leaning in to hold you against him. "and yours is only good for talking shit."
"maybe if you weren't such an asshole you'd know better." you snap, pulling back, sliding him out of you with a little gasp that gets his cock twitching again.
he whines at the loss of you, "awh, come on, don't be like that."
you roll your eyes. it's pretty incredible how well you're composing yourself, fixing your clothes and hair. taking a deep breath as you pointedly ignore his pestering and prepare to leave.
his bitchy, pretty baby. so much less intimidating when he's seen you moaning and cumming in his mouth - but he thinks you're even more adorable now.
"i gave you more than your fair share of orgasms, didn't i? show me what else it's good for~" he sings, staring at you the whole time.
you ignore him until you're dressed again. glancing at him from the corner of your eye. turning away.
"...next week after class." you say, stopping just before you leave, "i don't like owing people."
"heh." satoru watches you dart out the door, shutting it briskly behind you, smiling to himself.
maybe you thought he couldn't see it - as if he isn't always watching your face - but just before you left, he could tell.
the faintest dusting of pink on your cheeks...
you really are the cutest girl alive, huh?
(megumi tells him to stop whistling that day - he doesn't stop for an entire week.)
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jaspertheshark · 2 years ago
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Hey why the fuck are our smoke detectors that were just serviced a handful of months ago now pulling false positives
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indigoez · 6 days ago
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“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚…𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙀𝙍𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙔!” | 𝙉𝙍𝙆
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𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: niki x gn! reader
𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: pure fluff, silly times
𝗮/𝗻: i randomly thought of this when i was waiting for my ramen to cook and thought it would be really funny, and i thought niki would try to do something nice for his gf but also be so clumsy lol! hope you guys enjoy!! i apologize if its bad :,)
whereas niki tries to do something nice for you after a stressful day from work, but it results in your kitchen kinda catching on fire…
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you sighed as you finally unlocked your apartment door, the weight of the day melting from your shoulders the moment you stepped inside.
your job had been a disaster—back-to-back meetings, annoying emails, and that one coworker who still didn’t know how to mute themselves on zoom. all you wanted was to curl up in bed, maybe binge a drama, and eat something warm and comforting. but before you could call out for your boyfriend, a suspiciously smoky smell hit your nose.
“…riki?” you called cautiously, nose scrunching up as you stepped farther into the apartment. “are you—wait. is something burning?!”
your eyes widened as you reached the kitchen. there he was, tall frame frozen in front of the stove, furiously fanning the air with a dish towel as the smoke detector wailed above him.
there was definitely a small fire in the pan…
“I GOT IT, I GOT IT—!” he shouted over the alarm. “Wait, NO I DON’T—BABE I DON’T GOT IT—”
you rushed to grab the fire extinguisher under the sink—because of course you had one. you were dating niki. this was not his first kitchen incident.
with a hiss and a blast of white foam, the tiny flame was out, the smoke slowly clearing. the silence afterward was deafening.
niki stood still, hair mussed, wearing your pink apron that said “Kiss the Chef” and covered in a fine layer of extinguisher dust. the pot of ramen on the stove was now a blackened mess.
“…you’re home early,” he said sheepishly.
you blinked. then laughed. then bent over and laughed harder, wheezing into the fabric of his hoodie.
“i wanted to make you dinner,” he mumbled, eyes wide like a guilty puppy. “you said your day was awful and i was gonna surprise you with ramen—your favorite kind, too, with the soft-boiled egg and everything!”
you straightened up and looked at him—charred kitchen, singed noodles, destroyed dinner and all—and your heart swelled. you loved this man. even when he almost set your apartment on fire. you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him despite the smell.
“you are the soft-boiled egg,” you whispered into his chest.
“What?”
“never mind,” you giggled. “thank you for trying, baby.”
he hugged you tighter, and then pulled back with a hopeful smile. “sooo…should I order takeout?”
you mock-glared at him. “only if you promise to stay at least ten feet away from the stove.”
“deal.” he paused. “Unless you want popcorn later.”
You groaned. “Don’t push it, arsonist.
bonus!
the takeout arrived twenty minutes later, and you were both curled up on the couch—legs tangled under a shared blanket, ramen containers balanced on your laps, and the window cracked open to air out the lingering smoke.
niki had changed into one of his oversized hoodies, still pouting just a little as he poked at his food.
“you’re still thinking about the fire, aren’t you?” you teased gently, nudging his knee with yours.
“i wanted to be the reason you felt better today,” he mumbled, eyes down. “not the reason you had to use the fire extinguisher.”
you set your container down, leaned in, and touched his face so he’d look at you.
“you are the reason i feel better,” you said softly. “not because of what you did—because it’s you. you tried. and i’d take a thousand burnt pots if it meant coming home to you.”
he blinked, eyes wide and lips twitching up into a smile.
“…that’s kinda cheesy,” he whispered and poked you.
you kissed the tip of his nose. “so is the ramen…eat up, fire boy.”
he laughed, finally, head falling against your shoulder as the stress melted away.
even with the smell of smoke still clinging to the air, being in his arms made everything feel warm again.
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note: immm back yall after soooo long, im releasing some drafts i had in here for a long time lol hope you enjoyed! <3
masterlist
©𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐳 2025 • 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞. 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞/𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭/𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲.
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sexlapis · 2 years ago
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[◉°] … TOJI FUSHIGURO TAKES A LIE DETECTOR TEST… 9.6M VIEWS
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꩜ actor!toji (& implied actor toji x actress/actor reader)
⤷ synopsis: toji thought this lie detector test was going to be a breeze. he was a little mistaken.
sfw, fluff, crack, ooc toji, toji & reader are secretly together, toji lying!
masterlists
actor!toji masterlist
⪩     ₊     🍪    ✧    ⁺
“i ain’t nervous,” toji claims, cracking his neck and smirking as the crew members attach the needed equipment to his body, “i ain’t no liar either. so i got nothing to worry about here.”
“i sure hope that’s true, mr.fushiguro.” the polygraph examiner replies slyly.
“are you ready, toji fushiguro?” the interviewer asks.
“yeah, i am,” toji claps, “hurry up and get started.”
“is your name toji fushiguro?”
“yes my name is toji fushiguro.” he looks to the polygraph examiner. “it is, right?”
the woman simply stares at him.
“..alright then…”
the interviews asks another question. “are you about to take a polygraph exam?”
“yes, yes and yes, now give me the real questions!”
TOJI FUSHIGURO TELLS THE TRUTH
YOUR CAREER
“we’re going to start with the category of your career.”
toji nods and looks to the examiner. “how ‘m i doing?”
“you’re very calm, nothing unusual yet.”
“hm.”
the interview begins to speak. “one of your most popular roles as an actor was when you played Frank Castle in the Netflix series, “The Punisher”. some would say this is when you became a heartthrob. do you think is this true?”
toji sighs and shakes his head. “nah-”
“LIE.” the polygraph examiner calls out.
toji raises his hand. “…because, i was already a heartthrob before alla that.” he smiles, looking proud of himself. his answer is met with silence.
“ok.” says the interviewer and goes onto the next question. “do you face a lot of pressure being a heartthrob?”
“nope.” toji answers easily. “i’m just that kinda guy. i ain’t gotta try too hard for much, especially not ‘being hot’.”
he looks at the examiner.
“he’s telling the truth.” she states. she almost seems disappointed by the fact.
“see?” toji says, folding his arms, “as i said, ‘got nothin’ to lie about.”
“in the punisher,” the interviewer starts, ignoring toji’s cocky replies, “do you wear a muscle suit to look bigger than you actually are?”
toji throws his back, cackles echoing around the small room. “fuck no!” he gestures to…his whole body, “‘it look like i need a muscle suit? ‘didn’t even know that shit was a thing… i’m big enough without any of that stuff.” he shrugs, looking into the camera. “i think we can all see that.”
the examiner nods curtly. “..he is telling the truth.”
“do you workout often?” asks the interviewer.
toji scoffs. “i thought i’d get good questions..but yeah, yeah i do workout.”
“would you consider yourself fit?”
“yep. ‘hundred percent.”
“would you consider yourself fitter than,” the interviewer slides a photo of the actor gojo satoru towards toji, “this man?”
“pfft-” toji chortles. “oh, ohh yeah. easily. he’s like..” he looks for the correct words, “a little boy. are we kidding?”
he looks to the examiner and then to the interviewer.
“he is being truthful..again.”
toji smirks at the camera, tapping the side of his nose with his finger. “toji never lies.”
POP CULTURE
“this year, you were named “The Most Sexiest Man Alive” by People Magazine. do you believe you’re sexier than this man, 2022’s sexiest man, nanami kento?” the interviewer slides another photo, this time of the actor nanami kento.
toji looks at the photo for a second, before scoffing a little. “oh yeah. definitely. ‘guy just has a permanent frown on his face. he ain’t ugly but he could smile a little, y’know?”
“what about this ‘guy’, 2021’s most sexiest man alive, ryomen sukuna?” the interviewer also slides a picture of him to toji.
toji strokes his chin. “heh..yeah..yeah i would say so..this guy..he ain’t ugly either but..theres this energy about him..”
“what energy would that be, toji fushiguro?”
“the energy of a fuckin’ mass murderer that’s what!” he laughs at his own joke, looking at the picture of this ‘ryomen sukuna’, who is glaring into his soul through the image. “yeahh, i’d say i’m more attractive than him. just.. just a little.” he holds two fingers close together emphasis. “jesus christ, that’s one scary looking fuck.”
the examiner inspects the polygraph and looks towards toji and the interviewer. “he has been telling the truth.”
“yeah.” toji nods, exhaling through his mouth and sliding the pictures away from himself. “‘course i am.”
LOVE LIFE
toji had been doing well so far, but the category of ‘love life’ would be his downfall.
“do you want to get married in the future?”
“yeah, yeah i do.”
the examiner nods.
“have you ever been in love?”
“..yes.” toji responds, thinking about his past for a second.
the examiner nods again.
“are you in love right now?”
toji pauses for the first time in the whole test. he takes a deep breath. “no. yeah, no. ‘m not.”
the examiner raises an eyebrow at the results. “questionable.”
“oh, c’mon.” toji groans, rolling his eyes.
“is there someone you’re in love with?”
“nope. nobody at all.” he interlinks his fingers, tapping them against each other. “..nobody at all..”
“questionable. again.” the examiner states, pointedly looking at toji.
toji sighs. “oh, brother…”
“did you happen to meet this person..on set?”
“no, ‘cause there is no person?” toji says firmly.
“again.” the examiner says. “questionable.”
“christ…”
the interviewer asks another question. “do you believe in love at first sight?”
toji huffs. “no, that’s just two people who wanna fuck.”
“i see. then,” the interviewer takes out three pictures, all of them being people who he has worked with on set, including you.
“are you in love with any of these people?”
toji gulps, hesitating for a split second, his eyes focused on your picture. “nope. not oneeee bit.”
“LIE.” the examiner shouts excitedly, happy to have finally caught toji out on lying. she rings the negative buzzer repeatedly. “lie!”
“‘you serious?” he asks incredulously, looking between the interviewer and the examiner. “listen, maybe it was just my heart murmur or somethin’ like that,” he looks to side, cheeks rosy and shifts in his seat a little, “i-i don’t-”
“those are the last of our questions.” the interviewer says to toji, smiling knowingly. “thank you for taking part in our lie detector test.”
toji grumbles.
౨ৎ
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tag list: @tiredslepz | @hayatslife | @shxyxyxxxx | @snowprincesa1 | @laylasbunbunny | @mimiemie | @ncentic | @rosesored | @imover-18 | @gintokhi | @suzuperstarr | @lostgxrlblog | @jallie10 | @nnsav | @bunnyx-sakura | @bubbabobabubbles | @ladytamayolover | @keiva1000
a/n: this was longer than i planned 🤥
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