#crack | tis i the frenchiest fry

[hxllion]

@deromanum​​ , @count-v-dracula​​ I SEE YOU LOVEBIRDS, THERE.

[stardevil653]

here’s some of the garbage, tentatively titled “2 cards 1 yugi”

please note that i have only seen maybe 6 episodes of 3ds and a bunch of abridged but out of order. this is both a work in progress and crack treated seriously. it was also conceptualized and primarily written while drinking

Yugi Muto was a man of taste. Of course, he enjoyed the simper things in life. A well-made stack of pancakes here, a damn fine cup of coffee there, it really didn’t matter. Yugi Muto was a man of taste.

A man of taste, an expert in game theory and design, a purveyor of fine dyes and hair products, and a very well-regarded employee at Kaiba Corp.

Or, well, he may not have been that last one. Not officially, at least.

See, Yugi Muto occupied a… Unique position within the company. He wasn’t an employee per se, but he did work closely with the one and only Seto Kaiba. They were rather intimately acquainted, if you listened to office gossip. Or the CCTV recordings. Or the countless VOD clips from their playtest Twitch streams.

But that didn’t mean Yugi didn’t actually do anything for the company in terms of development and design. He’d actually come up with a few of the more popular adjustments and additions to the Duel Disk system, and had managed to keep Seto to a somewhat regular sleep schedule for once, which, in turn, made the project move forward that much more smoothly.

Really, he was an invaluable asset to the team, one they could hardly afford to loose, even if he’d just kept his hard work and support to keeping Seto somewhat hinged.

And that’s where the problems arose.

Yugi Muto was not –and had not ever been– a Kaiba Corp employee.

And no one had caught it until now.

Mokuba sighed into his coffee. This was… Not good.

As close as they were, he didn’t actually know too much about Yugi’s private life. There was a reason some things were private, after all. He wasn’t even sure where Yugi even lived. He’d seen him hanging around his brother’s apartment often enough to think he had more than a few bottles of high-end hair dye in one of the spare bathrooms, but Mokuba had been almost certain he shared an apartment with [Joey and Tristan??] in one of the cheaper parts of Domino city.

But without a paycheck, how could he afford it? There was no way Grandpa Muto could be financing Yugi’s entire life…

If Yugi wasn’t an employee, not even part time, of course he wouldn’t be in their system. He wasn’t on the books. He didn’t even have a key card to get into the building.

If he wasn’t on the books, he wasn’t getting paid. He also wasn’t getting any of their benefit packages. No health insurance, no vision, not even dental– And no access to anything else they’d had to offer, like their 401(k) profit sharing plan, or stock options.

If this somehow got out, it would be a PR shitstorm.

But that was also where the problems arose.

Mokuba sighed into his coffee. He couldn’t just.. Hire Yugi. Not now, not after years of work at Kaiba Corp. What would that even look like? How was he supposed to run that interview? How were they supposed to fill out new hire paperwork and retroactively wrestle their insurance plans? What would his job description even be? And forget stock options– At this point, just how much backpay did they owe him!?

He shuddered to think of it.

Dragging himself from the depths of Human Resources despair, Mokuba started the long and complicated process of logging into all of the company’s financials. Yugi seemed to be doing fine on his own, and he and Seto seemed to be close enough to have most things handled. Maybe– Maybe there was a way to rectify this without having a PR nightmare on their hands…

-------------------------------------------------

this would be the intro. there’s,, more.

if this is somehow seen and read by a pants doctor, tis i, the frenchiest fry, if aya is on the top of your murder list, im probably going to be a close second when this gets finished eventually

[oceannocturne]

Ok real talk tho, I actually realized my supervisor was a Tumblr Person because another co-worker came in and said 'tis I!' and my supervisor went under her breath 'the frenchiest fry' and we both cracked up while the other co-worker just looked confused 😂

New [tumblr] users: there is something very important for you to know.

There is a secret callsign for [tumblr] users.

If you spot a wild [tumblr] human in the wild, you must tell them this phrase:

"I like your shoelaces."

The appropriate reverse-call, if you hear this phrase, goes thusly:

"Thanks! I stole them from the president."

I'm paying literal actual money for you to see this, so don't let it be in vain. Use this phrase everywhere.

[lux-scriptum]

Every once in a while I randomly get this image of Cadoc just quietly whispering to himself, "Tis I, the frenchiest fry," and ??? I crack up tbh but also, cadoc, honey. No.

[heromuses]

Middle School things Said out of Context

A Geometry Student: oh my god i thought 6 was more than 7

*tooting kazoo violently* KAAAAAAAZZOOOO

*whispering* is a group of squids called a squad?

“My glasses are so round.”

“Five people just went to the bathroom with their phones are they cheating for the test”

“I got a D, that means damn, that’s good, right?”

“Yeah, my hotspot is definitely not called jimmon jonny joes”

*running down hallway with a paper plate* “GET OUT THE WAY BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH MY INVISIBLE CAR!”

*laughing uncontrollably* “tHERE’S AN ANIMAL CALLED A BEEFALO AHAHAHA”

“What is a brangus?”

“I'm gonna stay your van”

“You haven't said one single meme.”

“Avengers, Accelerate!”

“I hate hate being awaken by an alarm clock, but I like being woke”  

“That’s not how you spell Chicken…”

“STOP DOING THE MACARENA!”

Fe“I’m a guuy/giirl”

“A cupcake is a mini cake.”

“Did he just say expressions?”

“Bonjour Bonjour you are no more”

“I will troll you”

“The macarena what's it's look like?”

“That's gonna take a lot more ninja stars.”

“I thought Lightning McQueen was a girl”

“I said penis in front of my mom and she had no clue”

“Do you want to kill me”

“Sure”

“Tastes like Italy.”

*passes out food* “sharing is caring.”

“Suck a dii-oh thank you”

“Tis I! The Frenchiest Fry!”

“Et tu Brute”

“I dunno I was bored”

“I’m a scorpio, that’s why I was swerving“

“Shannon you’re being an ass”

“You mother fuck!”

“Do you have baby fucklings”

“On a scale of 1- 10, how high are you”

“You have been driving around with a rainbow flag on your car for 3 years and never knew it was for gay pride?”

“Eh they have good taste”

Want to go visit your grandma?

I don’t want any damn vegetables

“Snakes are cool”

“Tooucaaaan”

“Damp memes”

“What the fuck happened to its face”

“I shall be known as… Elgoog”

“This is Joe. Joe is addicted to crack.”

“H2O, Bitches”

“I have water, motherfuckers”

“BLAYNE! BLAYNE! HI BLAYNE!

“That was Blayne”

“I’ve never watched Bill Nye.”

“You’ve never watched Bill Nye?!?”

*class chanting in the background* “BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY”

“Apparently Bill Nye is also single”

“”Is Justin Bieber Canadian?”

“I say nom when I take things out of trees”

“That’s called Shreking”

“SNOO!”

[hxllion]

@xmercifulxdeathx​ --  I have my reasons and they’re all sexy.