#cr2ep91

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Damn Essek's just real fuckin lonely huh?

[edelgarfield]

the soft tender way essek talks abt caleb like.

campaign 2 episode 90

when jester asks him about himself he takes a pause, seems to contemplate what to say, before shaking his head and answering:

There's a waver to his voice before he seems to harden and his facial expressions are very dismissive and a bit sarcastic.

The episode ends shortly after this, and at the start of the next one is when Essek comes over for dinner. So IMO this moment Essek is debating whether to open up to M9, initially brushes them off, then thinks about it & changes his mind.

episode 91 we have this exchange:

he doesn't elaborate. he's completely flat & unemotional. he changes the subject by asking to sit as soon as he can.

yasha asks abt him and he does the same thing

noteably there's a long pause after ashley's question, at which point sam & travis chime in where essek's eyes are literally darting around and he's clearly uncomfortable, and that's when caduceus interrupts.

deep breath, nervous chuckle, crosses his arms and looks down before answering

jester asks why he changed his mind

he's making eye contact during this part, casual, & expressing mild frustration but still calm

there's a pause between this line & the next where he looks down and does this:

at this part he doesn't make eye contact until halfway through and only maintains it for a few seconds as a time

deep breath, does this again:

then looks up and says as quickly as possible:

head bowed, speaks into his lap

another pause, a look of clear confusion on his face before shaking his head

after caleb gives him a dunamancy potion in repayment for his help:

same hands folded head bowed posture as before

the whole conversation, he DOES NOT offer up information without being asked directly, usually multiple times. he deflects by talking abt his position, and whenever he decides to be vulnerable or reference the actual reasons for his visit (his loneliness & feelings of kinship) he looks away & braces himself. imo any time he admits to his loneliness his posture reads "ashamed." particularly when jester asks if he lives alone; i don't see a reason for him to look down & hunch his shoulders if he didn't feel like he was admitting to some personal failure (either bc he lives alone, or bc it shouldn't bother him as much as it does). there's also, of course, his newfound guilt at having betrayed m9 and being unable to walk it back.

compare that with cr3; while in the smut shop he deflects BH's attempts to learn about him, but that night he not only answers their questions without resistance but actively offers up more information.

he tells them abt his connections to ludinus, he tells them he's partially responsible for the current state of the world despite having every reason not to, he tells them abt his friends & his partner. he admits to his past faults openly & with little hesitation. he breaks eye contact briefly when talking abt ludinus etc. but never for long, and never in the same way, shoulders hunched, head down, hiding behind his hands.

the only time he seems to experience anything resembling shame or embarrassment is when he gets flustered admitting to wanting to message his partner before he sleeps.

i didn't mean to go through every single part of cr2ep91 where m9 ask about essek's personal life, but i did bc it was fascinating. when essek spoke to m9, he very much does not want to talk abt himself. the few things he does share say that he's very solitary & the few relationships he mentions are not close. any time he feels pressed to admit his true feelings, he feels ashamed and struggles to do so.

i imagine to essek in cr2ep91, he couldn't even imagine having a partner that he'd want to speak abt the way he speaks abt caleb. the idea of a version of him who has a life he wants to talk abt and share is absurd. but in cr3, for all his faults & mistakes he's made, he does, he wants to talk abt his partner & friends & the things he's learned. he has a life he wants to share bc it brings him joy.

[mollywauk]

Essek: *takes of his jacket*

The Entire Mighty Nein: *horny*

[bellowsthebard]

Okay, so I've been on the fence about Essek for a while, but that episode made me love him. Especially the part where he talked about how he floats cause he did it as a kid and now people just expect it. It felt so much like "kid who got straight A's in high school doesn't know how to lives up to expectation as and adult".

[midnightziege]

I have no caption that could live up to this

[tinylilemrys]

The way Caleb reacts to Yasha's new swole-r form is so hilarious. My boy has a strength kink and he's not even trying to hide it.

[with-both-my-hearts]

It seems like both Nott and Beau have some sort of classic "evil witch" tied to their past (Beau's dad making a deal with one and Nott being transformed by one), so it wouldn't surprise me in the least if by following this new storyline of Nott being cursed that we also end up seeing more of Beau's personal arc as well.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Caleb to Jester: I am the transmutation wizard but you are the one who changes people. I see it everyday.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Ugh I know Fjord probably isnt one of The Stones but gd that would have been so fucking cool!!!!

I'm also of the mind that fjord could choose to become a stone u know. Like spiritually and carry in the work. Kinda wanna die on this hill.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Matthew Mercer is a fucking tease i hate everything. I KNEW it didnt happen this soon.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Oh fuck those kids that were getting snatched were probably kryn souls??? Oh fuck. How would the campaign looked if they had followed that rabbit hole all the way back when. Shit thats wild!!!

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Oh Caleb being so excited about getting so close with the stuff for nott. That was so cute. Liam did such a good job. I can't wait!!!!

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Ok but this means caleb and nott kiss again in my mind and also we get another heartfelt speech from caleb before the transformation. If both of those things happen i will be ok probably.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Oh boy do i have thoughts about that conversation about nott right there. Holy fuck. I think i am going to have to watch that again. Nott's really come and hit me with a steal chair in the last 20 or so episodes ngl. I dont think it helps i watched ep 76 and then 83 back to back. So many fucking thoughts.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

We do what we always do. We do it together. Caleb and Nott.

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Beau: Are you afraid that if you get your old body back...

Jester: It means you have to leave us and go back to Yeza and your son?

Beau: Because that's totally a manifested condition you are putting on this situation

----

Caleb: Hard for a son to be away from a mother.

----

Fjord: We certainly need you. We'd be short sighted.

-----

Caleb: We wouldn't judge you if you wanted to stay with us for a while.

Beau: Or if you wanted to go home.

Caleb: Or if you wanted to stay with us for a while.