#cpd 9x13

[xofeno]

JAY HALSTEAD & HAILEY UPTON  CHICAGO P.D. / Season 9 (2021-2022) 

[haileysclara]

Hailey Upton - 9x13 (Part 1)

[karihighman]

just noticed how their last hug is the most emotional 😭❤️ • 8x11 | 9x01 | 9x13 | 10x03 ⬇️

+bonus: first & last only trasse hug 🫂 ⬇️

[tylerlockwood]

JAY HALSTEAD CHICAGO P.D. | “STILL WATER” (9x13)

[go-to-two]

“Grace” - Post 9x13 Upstead Fic

Messed around and wrote a post 9x13 Upstead fic. This might be a one-and-done for me, or I might try this out again sometime. Either way, this was fun!

Words: 3K

Warnings: Mentions of 9x13

This will likely be up on AO3 in the next few weeks when my invite is supposedly going to be extended. Wasn’t aware that was a thing- I’m new here, friends. For now, it’s under the cut. 

It's well below freezing outside by the time Hailey leans into Jay's shoulder from her spot on the stool as he stands next to her in the bar.

“You ready to go?” she whispers. She glances around the building, seeing that most other patrons were already gone. Hank had one drink, offered her a quick congratulations for her work, and went home. Trudy had called it after three shots with a parting statement that the heavy drinking was for the young. Now it's just the five of them- Hailey, Jay, Kevin, Kim, and Adam. They had passed a couple of hours swapping stories about theirs jobs or mishaps in dating or home improvement projects gone wrong- just chatting, like they used to do so often when they were younger and carried fewer scars.  

It takes one look at her for Jay to agree. He can see the exhaustion on her face and the half smile she gives him that doesn't quite bring out the dimple on her right cheek he's grown to love so much. She's tired, and she's ready to drop the façade.

“Yeah, I'm ready if you are,” he assures, so they say their goodbyes to the unit and leave them behind in the bar.

Hailey had insisted they not throw a big party for her ten year anniversary on the job, but she could tolerate a small get together. Even after the days she just had, she knew she could paint a smile on her face and accept her friends' congratulations over drinks. Now she just wants to be home.

The cold wind cuts through her coat on the short walk from the bar to Jay's truck, and she really can't remember the last time she felt warm. She has to lengthen her strides to keep up with Jay as the cold makes him quicken his step, and she reaches to link her arm with his to keep him close. If nothing else, she just needs him close tonight.

The lights on Jay's truck flash as he clicks the button to unlock it and she reluctantly pulls her arm from his to make her way to the passenger side. She hoists herself into the truck with a grunt while Jay slides into the drivers seat and immediately turns on the heat. He reaches over the center console to turn on her seat warmer, stopping to rub his hand up and down her thigh for a moment to give her some warmth.

“Sorry, it's going to take a couple minutes for this heat to get going,” he breaks the silence that they'd maintained since they said their last goodbyes in the bar. It wasn't an awkward silence- it rarely was with them- but was heavy nonetheless.

“It's fine, I'll live. I'm just ready to be out of here.”

He nods, pulling the truck from the curb and pointing them towards home. He tries to keep his attention on the road, but he can see her mind start turning in the silence. Now that there is no case to work or grieving families to comfort or coworkers surrounding her, he knows the distractions won't be there to quiet her thoughts anymore. He's been here with her before, though- watching her wage an internal war in his passenger seat. So he holds his tongue and waits, assured by her words and the ring on her finger that she'll come to him when she's ready.

*

“I should've known by the seat belts,” she says in a rush of words minutes later, almost startling him from his own thoughts as he drove.

“I... what?”

“The seat belts. When I pulled Mullen out of the car in the river, his seat belt wasn't on. He was unconscious, but his seat belt was off. I never had to unbuckle him.”

“Okay? Hailey, you're going to have to walk me through this one.” He keeps as level as he can while she starts rambling next to him, starting to release some of the emotion she'd been so successful at holding in up until this point.

“When I dove down... the car was on its side. I saw it sinking on it's side. So I pried open the driver's door and reached in to pull him out, but his seat belt was already undone. He wasn't conscious, so it would have had to have been unfastened the whole time. Like he got in the car in a hurry. Why didn't I notice that? I should've seen something was off. Why didn't I-”

“Hailey, that doesn't-”

“And her face, Jay. God, I can't get the look on her face out of my head,” she leans forward and presses her head in her hands, willing the image to go away. “She was so scared. She kept screaming 'save me'. 'Save ME.' I thought the fear in her eyes was from the accident and the water, but the last twenty minutes of her life were nothing but fear. She begged me to save her from all of it... from him... and I didn't.”

“Hailey, you couldn't have known, alright? You know that.” he breathes out, pleading with her to slow down enough to not let her guilt overwhelm reason.

“I'm a detective, though. It's my job to be observant and react to my surroundings,” she continues quietly, as if she's only talking to herself at this point. Jay looks over at her and sees how small she looks still hunched over in her seat. On a whim, he makes an abrupt right turn, steering them toward a new destination.

“Where are we going? Jay, I really just want to get home,” she asks when the motion of the car forces her upright again. She peers out the window, trying to recognize the residential streets he's turned down.

“I know, I know” he says softly. “I want to swing by the district real quick, okay? There's something I want to show you. Trust me?”

She stares at him wordlessly for a few seconds before she presses her lips together and nods, choosing to believe that he wouldn't be dragging her to the district this late at night if it wasn't worth her while. She leans her head back on the seat and closes her eyes around the tears that have threatened to fall, passing the next few minutes in silence until they arrive.

If the desk sergeant on duty finds is strange that Jay and Hailey are walking up to the bullpen disheveled at almost 11pm, he keeps it to himself and buzzes them upstairs.

“Go take a seat at my desk,” Jay instructs as he grabs a flash drive from the pile of paperwork on Ruzek's desk and wheels over a spare chair to pull up next to her. Hailey turns on some lights for them and collapses down into his desk chair, pulling one knee up to her chest. The bullpen is so quiet this time of night, the only sounds coming from his computer starting up and the hum of the fridge behind them in the break room.

“So, we found POD footage of the Columbus Bridge from the other night. Ruz pulled it early in the case thinking we may be able to pull an image for facial rec to ID Mullen. We couldn't get a clear look at his face, but we can still see everything.”

“You see the crash?” she asks as she takes the flash drive he offers her and plugs it in.

“Yeah, the crash. You. Everything. I wasn't sure if you'd want to watch it all, but I want you to really see something,” he says as the video loads and now sits ready to play on his screen.

Hailey stares at the still image on his computer. The bridge looks so much bigger than she remembered as she picks out her bright blue running jacket on her small frame in the far right-hand side of the screen. She's already lived what happens next, so there's little hesitation when she reaches to click play.

The footage begins, and she watches herself jog at a steady pace across the bridge as headlights become visible to the left, followed by the swerving car.

She's surprisingly calm seeing this part of the footage, but she feels Jay tense next to her as they watch the car swerve out of control, narrowly missing her before it careens off the bridge and into the water.

Hailey being hit by the out-of-control car wasn't really an alternative Jay had thought about when Platt first filled him in on the details of the accident. It's not really an alternative he'd like to think about now.

“I'm just going to fast forward a little bit,” he says as he leans over her to speed up the footage. The video plays at triple speed, showing her call 911 and running down the steps to the river's edge. 

“Here,” Jay pauses the video briefly while he moves to stand behind Hailey, bracing himself with a hand on each of her armrests, his body caging her in and her voice right in her ear. “I want you to look here.”

He resumes the video again at its normal speed as she jumps into the freezing water.

“From the time you first dove down after the car, until...” he fast forwards again until she re-emerges “...until you come up with Mullen. That's one minute and fifteen seconds. Hailey, that's barely over a minute for crisis response in freezing water. You're feeling this guilt now because you're looking at this case from the end result, backwards. You've had days to stew over every detail of this case, but here?” He motions to the computer screen, focusing again on her clinging to a ladder in the water with Mullen under her arm. “Here, you had one minute to make a decision and you did what we were trained to do. You help whoever you can, right? You're not expected to solve a crime you didn't even know existed in those conditions.”

She nods weakly and silently against his head where it rests over her shoulder.

“And you said Lisa's leg was stuck?”

“Yeah,” she clears her throat. “Yeah, it was jammed under the dashboard. She was trying to pull it free, but she was caught.”

“Then, Hailey, I don't know if this will help,” he begins tentatively, turning his head to speak softly into her neck, “but even if you had let Mullen sink and gone for Lisa, you probably wouldn't have been able to get her out anyway. Not without extraction tools and a lot more time than you had.”

He feels her slump further down in her chair as she still watches herself in the video. She's now diving and reemerging desperately, trying to find the car that had sunk far below where she could reach it.

She's unmoving- not angry, not weeping- just watching herself on the small screen.

He slides back into the chair next to her and reaches over to pause the video. As he pulls his arm back from the computer, he shifts sideways and moves his hand to cup her face, his thumb trailing slowly against her cheek.

“You told me once that I couldn't right every wrong. You remember that?”

“Yeah,” she whispers as a few tears threaten to spill again. That night in the bar feels like lifetimes ago to her. The night they sat and talked, just the two of them. She had wanted so badly for him to see in himself what she saw, long before they were them.

“Hailey, I need you to have that same grace for yourself.”

She just nods weakly again, not fully trusting her voice and unable to stop some stray tears from spilling out. She wipes them away quickly and composes herself as she nods again.

He still sees the doubt in her nod, and he knows he didn't fix everything in five minutes, but he also knows he would never be able to fix everything for her. She heard him, and that's enough.

He swipes his thumb across her cheek a final time before lowering his hand. His eyes are soft but they never leave her as she nervously turns back toward the screen.

“Jay, I hear you, but can we shut this down now? I really don't want to watch them pull her out.”

He knows what comes next on the footage. The long, painstaking process of Squad 3 pulling a crumpled car and Lisa's lifeless body from the river. He nods quickly, leaning over her again to shut down the video and pull the flash drive from his computer.

“Yeah, of course. I'm not too keen on watching you being loaded into an ambulance, anyway,” he breathes out and gives her a small smile. “Let's go home.”

She agrees without argument. Hailey shuts his computer down and turns out the lights as he stands to straighten up the chairs and return the flash drive to Ruzek's desk. He waits for her by the stairs with one hand outstretched. They're silent again as he wraps his hand around hers and leads them out of the district, but it doesn't feel as heavy. He doesn't feel like she's teetering on the edge anymore, just processing. So he gives her the space to do so as they climb in the truck again, and he steers them towards their apartment.

*

He follows her through their front door, turning to lock it behind them. They kick off their shoes and line them neatly in the entryway. He's placing his keys in the bowl by the door when he feels her reaching for his coat, sliding it from is shoulders to hang it in the closet next to hers.

“I showered at the district after getting back from the athletic club,” she starts. “So I'm just going to go straight to bed. Do you wanna shower and then meet me in there? I'll wait for you.”

“Yeah. I'll be quick,” he gives her elbow a gentle squeeze as he passes by her and disappears into the bathroom.

Hailey makes the rounds in their apartment, double checking the lock on the back door and closing the blinds before retreating to their bedroom. She strips off her flannel and jeans, replacing them with some sleep shorts and an old sweatshirt. She enters the bathroom for a few minutes to brush her teeth, glancing at Jay in the mirror a handful of times and smirking when she’s met with a soft smile and kind eyes every time.

She's been in bed for barely two minutes when Jay emerges from the bathroom, making good on his promise to hurry. He drops his towel in the hamper and joins her in bed with his hair still damp and wearing only the old, well-worn sweats she favors so much. She wastes no time before tangling her legs with his, reveling in the way the soft fabric brushes against her bare skin as she moves closer to him. Jay is met with a nervous smile as he settles to face her and wraps his arms around her to pull her to his chest.

“I'm sorry I scared you the other night,” she whispers as she rests her chin against his chest to peer up at him. “I'll always be the person that wants to jump in and help, and I know you are too. But I am sorry.”

She thinks about what it must have been like for him to get the whole story from Trudy- to not be there with her in the ambulance or in the hospital. She tightens her grip around his waist when she thinks about all the times she's been those places while he was the one in trouble. She knows that fear well.

“I know, it's alright,” he shifts one arm to play with a strand of her hair, twirling it around his fingers. “I'd never blame you for that.” He lets the silence takes over again and she relaxes against him, content to lie there and feel him breathe.

“Also,” he continues a minute later as the look of pride he wore earlier in the bar returns to his face, “I can't let you go to sleep without saying congratulations for ten years on the job. I don't think I've actually said those words yet. That's a big deal, Hailey, and I know the team is really proud of you. I'm really proud of you.”

“I think I knew that, but thank you,” she says through a growing smile. “I just wish the team could have been proud of me without pulling out my old recruit picture.”

He laughs quietly, leaning in to press his lips against hers slowly.

“One more thing,” he whispers against her lips. “Or rather, promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Skip your run tomorrow morning. Please?” he asks, putting as much levity in his request as he can.

“Yeah, I can do that,” she chuckles, maybe the first semblance of a laugh he's heard from her in days.

She pushes forward, finding his lips one more time before leaning over him to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. She lies back down beside him and burrows back into the warmth of his chest, pressing her lips against his shoulder once, twice before settling and finally closing her eyes.

Jay watches her try to sleep for several minutes before her breathing steadies against him and the exhaustion from the past couple days catches up to her.

Deep down, they both know this feeling of peace won't last, and it doesn't. Hailey is awake again a few hours later, the image of Lisa's face in her final moments still burned in her mind. Jay snores lightly next to her as she remains wrapped in his arms, counting his deep breaths to give her mind anything to do but dwell on the case. She's been on this uphill battle before, and she assumes this won't be her last. She's managed to find the light after devastation like this before, and she knows with Jay beside her and her team around her, she'll do it again.

[imjustwritingg]

🚨CPD Spoiler🚨

Video below the cut. Watch at your own risk.

[carissalizz]

CPD 9x13: My thoughts on this week’s episode

Under the cut :)

*Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD*

OMTTTTT 9x13 was so good and I think it lived up to all its hype!!

The obvious highlights being Tracy’s incredible acting and her portrayal of the guilt that’s tormenting Hailey throughout the episode! I felt every glance and every pained expression that was shown and was left speechless. Props to both Tracy and Kelli (aka Tracy’s stunt double) for the amazing underwater scenes (alongside the incredible crew of course!!) cuz they were so realistic. As I’m not based in the US, I watched the episode online and had to pause the ep multiple times as Hailey tried to save the victims. The storyline was so good and so sad cuz we all know this is gonna stay woth Hailey for the rest of her life probably… Why can‘t the poor girl get a break from traumas??

The Trudy scenes were gold!! Trudy’s always been one of my favourite characters and the mother-daughter like friendship that Hailey and Trudy have makes me so happy. Seeing them 2 in those scenes were beautiful and the scene where Trudy told Hailey about her dad‘s offender was so vulnerable. I think that the scene really was Trudy trying to remind Hailey that she was there for her too (awww my heart!!). Also, i love how they brought up Hailey’s past and how it was Platt who inspired Upton to become a cop cuz I think it really tied the story together with the whole Hailey-Allie thing (Allie‘s the victim‘s daughter). Trudy forcing Hailey to celebrate 10 years on the job with a party was the most hilarious thing ever and Platt’s iconic stoic face made it even better!

One of the more underrated friendships that is becoming more popular is Upwater and you had no idea how excited I was when I saw the opening scene!! Laroyce does such an incredible job of playing Kevin that I really wish I had a Kevin in my life. Kevin cares so much for Hailey and its adorable to see him check in on Hailey in the locker room. I can totally imagine Kevin giving Hailey one of his signature hugs to warm her up when she comes to the district after leaving the hospital.

We were all hoping for worried husband Jay and though we didn’t get a whole lot of that, the Upstead hug was one that melted my heart. As much as I hate seeing the duo in trouble, seeing the other one worried is honestly one of the best things ever. That wasn’t the only time we saw Jay worried for his wife though. The looks that he’d throw Hailey’s way were ones of concern and care, which was the sweetest thing!! Him checking in on her in the locker room was the sweetest and I’m sure Jay did a lot of fussing off camera or when they were in the truck on the way to the bar.

The ending scene was actually really cute. Hailey’s recruitment picture was so big and I laughed ngl. Platt went all out on that poster. Seeing the team hanging out and celebrating the amazing detective Upton was nice as we haven’t really seen the team hang out much, especially with the whole previous situation and all the tension. The team’s reactions to the giant poster was hilarious and made for a slightly sweeter ending to a huge episode. I think the choice to just have music during this scene rather than the cast’s dialogue/voices in the background was symbolic in some sense. The music wasn’t the most cheery either so it does the job of showing the fun that the team has as well as Hailey’s thoughts.

Well, that’s all for my thoughts on the amazing CPD 9x13!! If you’ve read through the entire thing, hi and wow I’m amazed :)

[stellarde]

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 This look was everything for sure!!! I loved Tracy’s emotions and she is such a natural as Hailey, I love her even more of this hehe 🤌🏻🥰 literally who I want to work with in the industry

HAILEY UPTON — Jay’s blue sweater

[adamruz]

BURZEK IN CHICAGO P.D. | 9.13 | STILL WATER

[a-little-bit-of-tradition]

Masterlist: Putting this all in one place for people to find Upstead scenes easier if interested. My aim is to go through the seasons so that everyone can enjoy Upstead moments

CPD Upstead scenes uploaded on tumblr

S10: 10x1, 10x2, 10x3, 10x4, 10x5, 10x6, 10x7, 10x8, 10x9, 10x10, 10x11, 10x12, 10x13, 10x14, 10x15, 10x16, 10x17, 10x18, 10x19, 10x20, 10x21

S9: 9x1, 9x2, 9x3, 9x4, 9x5, 9x6, 9x7, 9x8, 9x9, 9x10, 9x11, 9x12, 9x13, 9x14, 9x15, 9x16, 9x17, 9x18, 9x19, 9x20, 9x21, 9x22

S8: 8x1, 8x2, 8x3, 8x4, 8x5, 8x6, 8x7, 8x8, 8x9, 8x10, 8x11, 8x12, 8x13, 8x14, 8x15, 8x16

S6: 6x1, 6x2, 6x3, 6x4, 6x5, 6x6, 6x7, 6x8, 6x9, 6x10, 6x11, 6x12, 6x13, 6x14

S5: 5x1, 5x2, 5x3, 5x4, 5x5, 5x6, 5x7, 5x8, 5x9, 5x10, 5x11, 5x12, 5x13, 5x14, 5x15, 5x16, 5x17, 5x18, 5x19, 5x20, 5x21, 5x22

S4: 4x21, 4x22, 4x23

[xofeno]

Kittens!! 

We're halfway through hiatus today. 

We got this.😅👍

[daydream-wordflow]

this is amazing!

https://youtu.be/--1sCfkjneE

“soldier keep on marching on, head down ‘til the work is done”

hi friends! i’m back! sort of! i couldn’t let 9x13 pass without me making a tribute of what is probably now my favourite hailey episode ever. and quite possibly my favourite edit i’ve ever made. i hope you enjoy 😊

[justmypartner]

I’m very pro Hailey and Kev friendship in season 10. I’ve been rewatching some episodes and there’s a clearly friendship further than work colleagues there e.g. the way everyone is looking at each other during the shots at Hailey’s 10th work anniversary celebration and he’s looking at her instead and then also just them being the only two left in the bull pen earlier in the episode (both there without partners and he told her he could hook her up at his cousin’s fitness place), not to mention how when Jay goes undercover with Latrell in season 8 Kev is just watching Hailey the whole time they’re in the van together. Definitely more pro Hailey x Kev than Kim x Jay friendship but only because J&K have had 10 years to form a friendship and it hasn’t happened so likely isn’t going to happen anyway. But I get why the long time CPD fans would want Jay and Kim to be closer than they are.

Kevin is ALWAYS one of the first people to check on her when something happens too. Also, both Tracy and LaRoyce gushed about how excited they were to have such a light scene together in 9x13. There’s so much chemistry between them for a really good partnership, so if they do go the musical partners route this season, I hope that’s a partnership we get to see a lot of!

[karihighman]

Chicago PD 9x13 “Stillwater” promo photos 💧 ft. Upstead, Trudy, and the rest of the team. ©️NBCUMV.

[daydream-wordflow]

                    Crossed Paths on AO3 19th September

Hi!

I was 14 when CPD aired, and I've watched it ever since. It was one of the first shows I took an interest in, even being an ocean away. I found my way through online directs and dubious websites because I couldn't watch it in my home country. Until it premiered, a couple of years later, and it became a family show. We even have some private jokes related to it, and we are currently watching season 9. Although I know what's going to happen, I haven't watched the episodes, apart a couple of exceptions, like 9x09 and 9x13. Jesse's last episode will be an exception, because I won't be able to wait that long to find out what happens to his character. I can't believe I'll have to go through it twice, and I'll soak up every moment of it.

I have to say that even though I'm not as heartbroken by Jesse leaving the show as I was when I first learned about it, I'm still not ready for it. This is such an abrupt departure. I wonder if this is why Upstead happened and why it happened the way it did. Even so, I'm glad it happened. It was amazing while it lasted. However, I can't stop thinking that this is the beginning of the end. I'll remember all their moments through the awesome edits and videos the fandom made, and I will cherish them forever.

I'll keep watching the show, absolutely, until the very last episode. There are still a lot of things I love about it, and I will enjoy the show in every other way I can. I hope, with all my heart, that there is a chance for him to come back, even if it is on the very last episode of the show, or Tracy's last episode. Because that is the only thing that makes sense. Jesse gave so much of himself to Jay, and I cannot believe they will give him something other than a well written exit.

I'm sad for the things we'll never see happening, and for all the Upstead moments we'll never watch. I believe Jay is the heart of Intelligence. Who is going to keep an eye on Voight? Who is going to protect the unit? Who is going to show the other side of policing? Who is going to play the soft, big-hearted man that sees the best in people and does more than he should to protect them? Who is going to take his place and be the second in command? I have no idea what the end will be like, but my heart already breaks for Hailey. I know it's going to be hard to watch, and I can't see her go through another possibly heartbreaking moment.

The whole 'The unit is going to be yours one day' dream was crushed in the worst way possible. I always thought that's how it was going to end, that's how it's supposed to end. With Voight passing the Unit to Jay and I can't believe that was taken away from us. It's not just about Jesse leaving, it's about all the expectations that I had for the show. I truly hope they have the time to give Jay, and Upstead, the ending they deserve. I won't settle for less, even if I have to imagine it myself. Their connection is strong enough to get through this, and they deserve it.

It was an honour to watch Jay grow from this insecure person, getting in trouble for following his heart and the people he cared about, to a very mature man, with a great sense of humour, sure of what he wants, loyal to the people he loves, confident enough to stand up for what he believes in, still with the biggest of hearts. I grew up along with him, and for that I will always be grateful. I learned a lot from watching the show, and Jay's journey. 10 incredible seasons, over 190 episodes, countless hours on TV, many Wednesday nights, one character that will be in the memory of so many.

Jay, Upstead, will always have a special place in my heart, as well as CPD, and all the other characters and actors. But his journey as an actor is not over, and I'm excited to see what's next.

Having said that, I have decided to stop writing about Upstead. I will post what I have, and then I'm done. I started this fic in January and finished editing it in July. I have a couple of one-shots, including first wedding anniversary, written down and that's it.

I also can't write about the end of them, I can't imagine anything else than what, I believe, we were all hoping for, kids, being Sergeant of Intelligence Unit... I'm sure some of the writers in here are going to do an absolute incredible job, maybe even better than the ending we'll have, and I can't wait to read their work.

I started writing a year ago, and it was a good journey. I learned a lot, the most rewarding thing being that I developed writing skills in my second language. Thank you for being on that side.

All the love ❤

[go-to-two]

I get annoyed when shows have their characters all glammed up to go for a run or work out, but they don't! She's wearing weather appropriate gear and a goofy little hat and she still looks amazing??? Tracy Spiridakos teach me your ways.