#covid made it hard

[spicyprincezuko]

i started going to AA this weekend. i felt myself getting into a bad cycle of getting depressed, drinking, and feeling like shit afterwards. it’s been hard since Kayla passed to feel like i’m not the only Black Femme left in town. that sense of isolation started getting too me and it became too easy to just drink every day, multiple times a day. if i’m getting to the point of requiring a drink on my lunch break to feel “normal” then there’s something evidently wrong. i’ve been trying to keep a singular thought from occurring for months now. what i really need is to sit down and take inventory of my life and feelings. shit is whack. working the steps sucks. but I’m grateful to find myself surrounded by a shit ton of supportive people. i have a soft landing set up for me that i just need to fully embrace. got to do the work work work

[red-hibiscus]

As an immigrant who grew up in a popular vacation spot, I really appreciate Mut talking about the struggles of the locals

The only people who can afford to vacation where I do are rich people or those with families here. I grew up with a mother who cleaned the houses of rich people, never any mansions, but I know plenty of others who've done that. I grew up with a father who worked at a grocery store (very) frequented by tourists on their way to the beach. I worked as a camp counselor for celebrities and upperclass as a teen.

The messes I've seen. And no, the tourists don't care for the locals. It's like we live in separate worlds. They don't go to the family owned restaurants. They go to the high end ones where everything is $50+. They also have the option of going to the less conveniently located specialty grocery store.

They don't live in a small overpriced houses that locals can't afford to buy. They buy the large houses they only use for 2 months of the year and have local immigrant mothers clean the place that has dirty laundry tossed around randomly cause they were in a rush to head to the beach. Their gardens and homes are built by immigrant men who wait by the side of a 7-eleven to be picked up on the morning by passing trucks. And I can tell you none of these people are paid well.

Them buying these houses are also the reason landlords charge so much. Cause they know someone can and will pay, but it's not locals. Not to mention no local that doesn't come from old fishermen families (or the local upperclass families) can afford boats much less yachts. Yet the amount of boats I see at every port (gotta be at least 10 of them in 3 towns)...

I have respect for Mut, cause I know the bullshit locals have to put up with when it comes to tourists. People like Mut probably have it worse than I do. So even more respect.

[afroclusterfunk]

This stomach pain is really eating me up. I hope the colonoscopy will shed light on things but the prep is making me shaky and weak (add it to the list of things making me sweat). I know there's the element of spirit where my sense of self is growing. When I think of my old names I feel the pain there. I'm healing thru it. It hurts. I know the stress from caring for mom makes it worse. I know the fear of thinly veiled threats. There's so much I need to do. I have plans. But most importantl, I need to lie down and try to rest so that the flare doesnt get worse.

I have $50 worth of bills each month. trying to secure meals (I have low mobility/energy when I have a flare so I need to order delivery), and I'm also trying to save for travel to a safer place $500

So far I've only raised $3 but it def helped.

If you have the spoons to boost it or the funds to support me with my basic needs and help me afford to live.

Cashapp $femmeboigarfielf

Venmo: garfgodot

Ko-fi.com/cosmickarike (credit cards/PayPal)

[chimaeraonwards]

well i oop

call it an environmental tragedy but i call it ✨ LARPing✨

bonus the exact thing i told my mom when i experienced haze for the first time:

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

[transpanda-1]

🪴Getting sad again thinking about how not only Covid heavily disabled us... but hammered into us that outdoor public areas are now a massive risk to our health as the population continues to ignore covid... idk both physically disabled and soft barriered from social public spaces is sad...

[seonghwasblr]

SVT coming to Europe for the first time ever in 9 years (not counting Gastonbury, cause that was sold out a year before they were announced, so carats didn't get a chance to go) and it's not even going to be ot13 should be a crime.. AND IT'S BECAUSE OF A SCHEDULE?!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[orchidyoonkook]

Personal

Hi.

How did you get over your quarter life crisis?

Because I’m trying not to fall into the vast unyielding void. And I’m failing hilariously.

[illdothehotvoice]

No one ever talks about hemiplegic migraines and how much they suck and ESPECIALLY no one ever talks about how much your head hurts THE NEXT DAY king my head felt FINE when I went to bed let me LIVE

[elektroyu]

Just got a letter today that meant... not so good things for me. Even more paperwork, more stress, more fighting to secure something for me to live off. This can take literally years. I hope not though. Idk from where I'm supposed to take the strength to do all that honestly.

I feel so so old suddenly

[yousaytomato]

I sometimes don't know what to say when people are like, "ugh it sucks being a woman - I hate shaving my legs!!" because it's easy to be like, "then don't", and for some people that works, but I also understand that it's a deeper problem than that, and whilst personally, I revel in the queerness of my hairy body, not everyone wants that, but also that body hair shouldn't be seen as un-feminine anyway and body hair shouldn't be some kind of statement and....idk.

[hauntedwoman]

gonna have to retake french next semester lol my mom is gonna kill meeeeeeeeee hehe

[dilleater]

getting covid twice in a year has turned me into such a terribly anxious paranoid person it's driving me CRZAZY!!!!!

[afternoonblues]

alright. just finished watching kny's hashira training arc season and with that BANGER of a final episode, let's just say, even though i regret not going to the theatres for the mugen train movie release here in my country, i will definitely be there for the infinity castle arc trilogy. you will find me at the theatre all pumped up for sure. i'm not missing any of it, alright?

[fallowtail]

i'm glad i gave up on ever having access to adhd meds like everyone else gets to have because i just know i'll go on them and then they won't work at all and it'll be revealed it was just genuinely brain damage this entire time and there's nothing that can be done for me lol. like at least this way i can be bitter and jealous and stew over the fact that there's this magical cure that i just don't have access to because i'm too poor and nobody takes me seriously instead of knowing for a fact that the magical cure everyone else gets to have fundamentally won't work