#cousins and my dad’s family so i could only depend on her but could never ask for help

[hikikomorimo]

.

[mixtape--oh]

Just in case – Lee Know

Minho x high school friend turned girlfriend Iris, circa September 2024

Even after years of being together, Iris was still not used to being taken care of. And even after years of being together, Minho was always ready and prepared, just in case.

This is for all my fellow girls with the eldest daughter syndrome out there; because we need a reminder from time to time that it is, in fact, okay, to let ourselves be taken care of every once in a while.

Minho only saw the text around half an hour later, during the short break in between practice sessions. He thought he'd never clicked on the call button so quickly in his life. 

Iris answered on the second ring. "Hey. Didn't expect you to read the text this fast." 

"We have this thing called breaks," Minho told her. Then he noticed the faint sound of traffic from her end. "Are you driving to Pohang? Alone?" 

"Yes and yes. How else was I supposed to go there?" 

"I don't know, maybe take the perfectly fine train? You know, with significantly less travel time and you can just sit back and relax while it gets you there?" 

"Then I'll have to ask someone to come pick me up at the station." 

"So be it? Hell, I'll order you a car from here myself." 

Iris sighed. Minho hated himself for immediately knowing where this was going. "You know I don't like depending on people." 

"Even on me?" 

"I'm still working on it. Besides," Iris added before Minho could interrupt, "having one more car around helps the logistics to transport people around. Not all of my relatives have one, and I have quite a handful of aunts and uncles and cousins." 

Minho found himself fighting to keep the frustration out of his tone. "Iris, that is not your responsibility." 

This was far from his first rodeo of reasoning with Iris' chronic eldest daughter syndrome. Throughout the four years of their relationship he had to convince her numerous times that not everything was her responsibility, that it was okay to let other people take care of her from time to time. She already started loosening up with Minho by letting him do small things for her: making her light bites, buying her things she needed, driving her around whenever he had the time. But when it comes to her family, especially the extended family from her mother's side – who all always saw and treated Iris the eldest grandchild as an adult, even before she legally became one, due to her responsible nature – it seemed like everything Minho had tried just disappeared and they were back to square one. She's back to the eldest grandchild who just had to take care of everyone, even those older than her. 

Through the phone, he heard her hissed through her teeth. "It still feels like it. I know you've been trying to help me with this, I'm sorry." 

Didn't want to revisit the recurring issue over a phone call, let alone at a time like this, Minho suppressed his sigh. "I'll just have to try harder from now on then. How are you feeling?" 

There's a beat of pause. "I don't know, but on the top of my head? I want to get there as soon as possible because I'm afraid it's gonna be messy. This uncle, his wife is one emotional aunty and their children are still, like, pre-school age and basically a baby. I fear she might cause a disruption for her children in her grief." 

Minho had to hold his tongue from shooting her another "that's not your responsibility". Instead he asked, "How about your mother? How is she taking it?" 

"She was crying when she called me," Iris sighed. "But knowing her, I think she's gonna spend the entire drive there crying her eyes out, just so that she can put up a front and be composed once she's there." 

Like mother, like daughter, Minho couldn't help but think. But he didn't let that one out loud. "She's not driving, though, right?" 

"No, the entire gang are coming down from Gimpo. Think my dad and brother take turns for the wheel." 

At that time, Jeongin's head poked out of the practice room's door. "Hyung, we'll start again in a minute." 

"Okay, I'll be right there." 

"You have to go?" Iris asked. 

"Yeah." Minho didn't like the thought of Iris spending the three-plus hours' drive all alone. He knew perfectly well that she could take care of herself, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Right now there's nothing he could do about it, though, so he just had to bear it and settled with, "Please drive carefully, okay?" 

"As if I'm not one of the best drivers you've ever known," she said in a teasing tone, but Minho knew she understood his underlying sentiment nonetheless. 

"You know I'm one call away. Just in case." 

"I do know that." 

"And please try to remember that not everything that is happening over there, however messy, is your responsibility," Minho said slowly, hoping to increase the impact of the important message. "Take care of yourself too, you hear me?" 

Iris didn't answer right away. 

"Iris?" 

"Alright," she finally muttered in a soft tone. "Thanks, kitten." 

It's been hours since Iris last reacted to his message, but still Minho hadn't heard anything else from her since. 

Frowning, Minho put his phone down to the kitchen counter and put his focus back to the pudding he was nursing. He knew she would be busy with things and wouldn't have time to be on her phone, but still Minho wasn't able to go to bed peacefully without hearing from her. He hadn't heard of how "messy" things were over there, and he wanted to be here to provide what emotional support he could give her when she finally had time to update him. Hence the decision to get out of bed altogether and wait for her with this vanilla pudding he really liked. 

"You looked like the pudding did something to offend you." 

Minho looked up and saw Jisung walking into their shared kitchen, still in his outside clothes – as if he just got home. "What were you doing out until this hour?" 

Yawning, Jisung dumped himself on the chair across Minho. "Working on a couple songs with the hyungs at Changbin and Hyunjin's." 

"Poor Hyunjin. Even his new place is still disturbed by shirtless dudes eating chicken breasts." 

Jisung laughed at the old reference. "Nah, he's had enough of us and decided to have a sleepover with Jeongin at his and Chris hyung's place. Now, what are you doing still up until this hour? Surely not to pick a fight with your pudding?" 

Minho sighed. "I'm waiting for Iris." 

"What, is the noona coming here? At this hour?" 

As Minho filled him in with the necessary details, Jisung helped himself to Minho's abandoned pudding. "You know, even after all these years, it still feels a little weird seeing you being a softy like this," he admitted after swallowing the last spoonful of pudding. "I mean, you never stayed up this late to give me emotional support." 

Minho snorted. "That's because I know you'll ask yourself, even wake me up in the middle of the night if you have to. Iris, on the other hand, would never ask, so I just need to be prepared and offer it to her. Just in case." 

"Fair point," Jisung chuckled. "But still, that's so sweet of you. It's a foreign look on you, but it's a good one." 

Before Minho could rebut, his phone on the kitchen counter pinged, its screen flashing a new message with Iris' picture on it. Noticing it too, Jisung stood up, bringing the now-empty pudding cup with him. "I guess that's my cue to leave you alone. Night, hyung." 

Took ten second of silence before Minho's phone lit up again, this time announcing a call from Iris. He thumbed the green button immediately. "Hi there." 

"Are you really staying up just to wait for me?" she blurted. 

"Yeah, just in case." 

"Why are you always sweet to me?" 

"Someone has to," Minho said firmly. "Because you're not being sweet to yourself, especially around your extended family over there. How's it going, by the way?" 

There was a few seconds of pause. "Can we not go over that now?" she asked quietly. "I don't think I can tell you about it without going through a full-force, mindless rant, and I can't afford that right now. Need to stay level-headed for the funeral tomorrow." 

Oh dear, Minho thought. So it was that level of messy. "Of course. What do you need?" 

"You really don't have to do anything, you know," Iris muttered. 

"I know, but just in case. So, ideas to make you feel better. Go." 

Another pause, then: "Can you... just, talk? Tell me about your day, or anything really. I'll listen." 

It was an rare dynamic between them. Iris was usually the talker among the two, and Minho had always been more than glad to listen to anything she was talking about, from her experience of buying groceries to her thoughts about the new health policy. For her to ask him to talk was very rare, and it always happened on the worst of her days, the kind that drained her towards zero – and for Iris, who possessed seemingly limitless energy most of the time, it took a lot to drain her. 

Truth be told, Minho had had an exhausting day himself, and talking definitely sat on the bottom of things he wanted to do at the moment. But he wanted to provide some sort of support for Iris any way he could, and if to do so he had to talk his mouth off, then talking it is. 

Even though he wasn't as good of a storyteller as Iris and had to put in the effort to think of interesting bits to share with her – something that always seemed to come so naturally for her. 

Iris seemed to notice this eventually. "I'm sorry," she said when she finished laughing at Minho's story about the mishap he had with Changbin in the practice room earlier. "You're exhausted, and I'm making you yap." 

"Did it work though? Make you feel better?" 

"It does," she said, in a small but pleasant voice. "Makes me feel a lot better. Thanks a lot for that." 

Minho smiled, filled with the sense of pride he always felt knowing he made her feel better. It was as if every thought he'd ever had about being exhausted faded away to nothingness. "When are you coming back?" 

She let out a sigh, but it sounded more of content, as if the mere idea of going home was pleasant enough for her. "Tomorrow. No matter what happens, I will be on my merry way in the afternoon. I'm setting boundaries on taking care of people here, kitten, aren't you proud of me?" 

"That's great! Glad what I've been doing for the past few years left some dent in there." 

"That, and Mom made me promise to be scarce by 3 p.m. the latest. She said I've done enough." 

"Hear hear," Minho said firmly. "You should go have some sleep then. You need some if you're going to be driving tomorrow." 

Before Iris could answer, Minho heard a faint sound of a baby crying on her end. She sighed; not contentedly this time, rather as if she was bracing herself. "That's my cousin." 

Minho could hardly believe her. "Iris Park, are you freaking babysitting right now?" 

"It's the youngest of my late uncle, Minho. Her mother is currently too distracted to care for her." 

Minho knew he should be holding back, shouldn't risk breaching the sensitive topic at this hour with the two of them being exhausted, but he couldn't help himself. "Iris, my flower, that is not your responsibility."

Another sigh. "I know, but it's the least I can do. I should go – talk to you later, kitten." 

"Try to get some sleep!" Minho managed to say just before she hung up. Though, knowing Iris, he doubted she'd get any blink at all tonight. 

Putting his phone down to the counter, Minho pressed the heels of his palms to his closed eyes. If he hadn't liked the thought of Iris driving the three hundred-plus kilometers distance between Seoul and Pohang before, he disliked the idea of her driving said distance with little to no sleep even more. 

Then an idea suddenly occurred to him. It just so happened that he had these two days off; he'd planned to spend some time with his mother, who's currently in town for the next couple days, but now his brain was starting to formulate a different plan. His mother would understand, he thought, because she loved Iris too. 

Which was why, on the next day past lunchtime, Minho found himself getting off the car he'd ordered to take him from the train station to the address Iris' father had given him. It was a small house her mother had bought before moving to Gimpo, where their family always stayed whenever they came here, and that was currently empty because everyone was still at the late uncle's residence for the funeral wake – as promised by Iris' father, a means to ensure Minho's privacy. Minho couldn't help but feel touched by the thoughtful gesture. 

Despite already being told where they kept the spare key and to "make himself at home", Minho decided to wait on the front porch and get comfortable on one of the chairs there instead. Hence when the car he recognized as Iris' entered the driveway not an hour later, he immediately saw it and got to his feet in an instant. 

"What the – " Even over the sound of the car's machine, Minho could already hear Iris' exclamation from inside the vehicle. She quickly turned off the engine and scrambled out of the car, making her way to Minho with long, heavy strides. "What in the world are you doing here?" 

Minho grinned at her. "Just in case you need something more than listening to me yap." 

"But why – when – how did you – " She seemed to be at a loss of words. Still grinning, Minho opened his arms just a little bit, just as a little suggestion. Just in case. 

Iris seemed to catch on the hint. With a defeated sigh, she finally stepped forward and into Minho's arms, letting him envelope her in a hug and hold her tight. He felt her melt against him, burying her face on the crook of his neck. "I have so many questions," she said, her voice muffled. "But not gonna lie, I'm also very, very tired." 

"That's okay," he murmured to her hair. "You can both ask your questions and have your overdue rest on our way back to Seoul." 

She lifted her head to look at him. "Did you seriously come here only to drive me back?" 

Minho shrugged. "You know, just in case." 

"Unbelievable," she said, as if to scold him, but the effect was softened because she was leaning her forehead to his. "Lee Minho, I've told you many many times before, you can't just keep doing things like this for me." 

"I'm not doing this for you though," Minho countered. "I'm doing this for me. Doing things like this makes me happy." 

Iris let out a half-hearted scoff. "Traveling from Seoul to Pohang just to drive me back to Seoul makes you happy?" 

"It does." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. "Because I get to take care of you, something not many other people get to do. And as I've told you many many times before, you better get used to it because I'm not stopping." 

She held his gaze for a few silent seconds, then offered a small smile. "Thank you," she said softly. 

Minho leaned forward to press a kiss on her forehead. "Now let's go get your stuff and go home."

previously on | coming up next Find more stories from Minho & Iris and the rest of Stray Kids here!

[richeeduvie]

So we’ve seen Kendall give baby drugs and now I’m ready.. I’m ready for angst between Lalo and princesa. Im ready.. for her to fucking do a line and get hooked.

Princesa doing coke to me is hot sorry. I'm sorry! And it would be her to go ahead and get addicted. She already makes a terribly needy pothead, which is why Lalo saves that the drugs for very special and controlled occasions. That includes alcohol. #Partypooper.

But it would be Lalo letting her finally do a line between babies, because he's so sure that she's always pregnant, so he takes a good while to make sure she isn't.

But addiction is in her genes. How would Princesa get to the point where she's not afraid of it? That she breaks through the association drugs and fear? I have no idea, but she gets there. Lalo's still cautious, but he's more than happy to use this as a way to make her more dependent on him.

"You don't have to inhale the whole line, funny girl - just, move your with the line and sniff while you do."

"I know how to do it. I've seen it."

"When?"

"With you...and sometimes your guys - they'll just do it sometimes. But I just know too. My head isn't completely empty. I don't think so."

"I wouldn't mind if it was."

No, he wouldn't. Lalo smiles at Princesa. He rubs her back.

And she goes ahead, one long sniff and it's Lalo laughing hard when she comes up blinking and looking like she's going to sneeze. But there's something in his chest, warming the whole of his body. He chooses to not believe it's him feeling something wrong.

But Princesa's holy, Princesa's his sweet girl. This is fun, sometimes, that's the white truth of what he's been doing since...forever. But it's also work. It's his cousin going off his rocks, as they say. It's what he's sure they say for when people go crazy. English terms. It's not Princesa.

But she feels so fall on him as she clings to his shirt. She looks happy. He did that.

He can keep doing that.

"How do you feel, Princesa?"

She feels...

"Good. It's weird."

Lalo snorts. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's how it feels the first time. You okay? Your little nose ain't gonna fall off on me? It would be you to do that to me."

Princesa sniffles, wiping her nose. It feels good. At first, it just feels big - then a rush, then good. Then...better.

It doesn't feel wrong, she doesn't feel like her dad. It just feels like she's slept really well. That she ate a good breakfast with the day feeling warm. And she doesn't want another line instantly.

"Let's...let's watch something."

"Okay, Princesa."

Not the day to do anything, not when it's Princesa's first time. It would be, she wouldn't be lying about it - not like she took some from her bastard of a Papa when she was younger. He smiles, putting something on.

And Princesa tries to watch the movie, but she can't focus. But only, only because she feels like she could be doing something better with her time. Like squeezing the life out of Lalo, or talking to him about anything.

"Did you ever question the family business?"

"...What?"

It's not a question that she's thought of just because of the coke, it's always been there. It's just now she can ask it, she wants the answer. She wants to talk to Lalo about it.

"Just...did you every think about why you guys were doing what you do?"

Lalo stares with his arm around Princesa.

"You're not getting another line."

She slumps, thumping her thumbs on her thighs.

"We'll see."

"Huh?"

Princesa pushes for the conversation more, Lalo eventually letting up because it's Princesa.

"No, I guess not. Just never seemed like something to question, not when I wouldn't have it any other way-Princesa."

She's climbing Lalo, seeping into him when he has no other choice but to fall into the couch. All her weight on him.

"That's fair. Wanna make pancakes?"

"...In a minute, look what you just did."

In fifteen minutes, Lalo gives her more. It'll be like this for awhile, and he should've stopped before he stared.

Princesa nuzzles.

[currymanganese]

My take on what I've seen a lot of people commenting on whether or not Claire returns in S3 is that Claire Bear doesn't return in S3. For the simple reason that the character was not even developed, and she left the same way she appeared, abruptly and in a way that no one will miss her. I do think she will be mentioned if she appears it will be at most a farewell scene with carmy, but if not that she will never come back. She fulfilled her purpose. 🥸

Based take anon, I hope to God that you're right. I'll breathe such a sigh of relief if you are. If they bring Claire back to flesh out her character and her relationship with Carmy more, it'll feel like they'll be cutting into time that could be better used to explore characters and dynamics that we were already interested in since season 1 yet again.

For example, what's Ebra's last name? Has Ebra immigrated to the US alone, or has his family joined him? If he lives in the US alone, is his family in Somalia still alive, is he close to them? Do they depend on him for remittances? Did they die in war or civil unrest or some other tragedy? Does Manny have kids and a last name of his own? Is Angel in college part time (like I headcanon him to be) and does he see dish washing as just a temporary thing until he breaks into the career he actually wants?

Will Tina find out that Syd's mom is dead? Will that affect the way she interacts with Sydney? Will she develop a maternal bond with Syd? Are any of the restaurant's staff undocumented immigrants? Will they have to help each other secure documentation? How will Marcus's mom's death affect him? Will the restaurant's staff band together to support him emotionally? Will Carmy step up and become a true friend/ older brother figure to him? Will Syd, Marcus and possibly Carmy grow closer together over commiserating over each of them coping with the death of one parent (if Carmy's father is in fact dead)?

What was Syd and Carmy's childhood like? Does Syd still have friends from the CIA? What is Syd's extended family life like? If her Dad is second generation Nigerian American, has Syd ever visited her family in Nigeria? Is she close with her mother's family? Is Syd her grandparents' oldest granddaughter? Has she ever gotten a taste of the oldest daughter experience, despite being an only child, because of having to mind younger cousins at family get togethers?

What was her love life and business like? Does Syd do her own hair to save money? Will she start wearing her hair in different styles more regularly when she is more financially secure? Will Syd get a share of equity in the restaurant when the business becomes profitable? When will Mr. Adamu meet Carmy and what will he make of Syd and Carmy's relationship? Where does Mr. Adamu work? How does that impact on how much quality time he got to spend with Syd as she grew up, if he's still in the same field that he was in when Syd was a child? Did Syd have any behavioural struggles that she dealt with as a young child before she was old enough to understand her mother's death? Did Mr. Adamu ever have her referred to a clinical child psychologist when she was a little girl? Does Syd go to therapy, or does she want to herself? Is Syd depressed?

Has Carmy ever struggled with suicidal ideation before? Has he ever made an unsuccessful attempt on his own life before, perhaps as a child or an adolescent? In his dream in episode 1, why did Carmy tell the bear on the State Street Bridge where his brother killed himself, "I know, I know...." What secret pain does Carmy know about that even we, the audience, are not privy to? Why was cousin Michelle so worried about the impact of Donna's behaviour on Carmy's mental health in particular? Why did the older relative/ acquaintance at Cicero's kid's party so freely assume that Carmy was the one that killed himself and not Mikey? If Carmy has been suicidal himself before, in addition to his survivor's guilt and avoidance of Donna, was this another reason he could not bear to attend Mikey's funeral, if he had to attend and face his own mortality and the fact that his brother's body in the coffin, or ashes in the urn could have easily been him?

Was Carmy ever institutionalized before? If so, does it explain his apparent severe internalized stigma against mental illness ("I'm a fucking psycho!") and him seemingly having an aversion to seek out any mental health care beyond attending the Al-anon meetings? Will Carmy ever go to therapy? Will he ever learn to love himself? Will Syd and Carmy ever realize they have deeper feelings for one another? Will Carmy allow himself to accept Syd's feelings for him if she reciprocates his?

Will any of The Bear's new staff get deeper characterizations of their own? Will Tina's son, Louis, begin working at the restaurant after all in the future, perhaps as front of house staff, or maybe as a dish washer if Angel leaves for better things? Will Gary ever return to a sports related career, perhaps by getting certification to become a coach? What will Fak's job duties be going forward, besides being a general repair man?

Was the restaurant's storefront getting shot out in Season 1 a one-off incident, or was it a warning of things to come because of the Berzatto family's ties to Cicero? Will any of Richie and Mikey's old drug clients come by to raise hell at the restaurant because they can't get their fix anymore? Will they pay back Cicero in time? Will they win their Michelin star? Will the business go under?

Will Nat enjoy motherhood? Will it bring her closer to Donna, if Donna sobers up and joins a rehabilitation program, or will it be the final nail in the coffin for their relationship if loving her own child will allow Nat to fully understand the depths of Donna's cruelty towards her and just how much she was failed as a child? How will Pete navigate fatherhood? Will Carmy grow closer to him as he sees and admires the way that Pete cares for his niece or nephew, and his sister? Will Carmy ever have a desire for a family of his own?

Will Carmy repair his relationship with Syd and with Richie? Will Richie win over the respect of his ex-wife and daughter? Will Richie learn to mind proper boundaries between himself and the Berzattos? Will they kill Donna off in Season 3? Start the season off with a funeral that crushes Marcus (his mom's), but ultimately cements his found family's support for him and for each other, and end the season with a funeral (Donna's) that Carmy, Nat and Richie heartbreakingly find freeing?

There is so much rich material that has yet to be explored with this show and these characters and their interpersonal dynamics. However, if the showrunners wanted Claire to remain as a part of this tapestry in the long run, then imo they should have written her to be as compelling as possible from her introduction in order to match the rest of the show's energy, instead they wrote her like the odd one out.

[bisluthq]

Re Marjorie/ dead grandparent discussion, as someone who has a lot of dead family and recently lost the most important grandparent figure in my life… here are the things I’d ask (my recently deceased figure started going dotty and I talked on the phone with her less cause I couldn’t handle it cause I already live with my dad who has early dementia and it was too much to deal with at the time). While they still have cognitive capacity, or even if they aren’t all there but can be redirected:

- what’s their favourite place? If it’s close enough, go there with them and make memories there. It’s much nicer to go to a park or a museum to feel close to someone than it is to visit a cemetery imo

- what’s their favourite flower? When you see pink roses or red tulips, you’ll always think of them.

- if they have a signature dish or favourite recipe, ask them to write it down for you in their handwriting. Then cook it with them or for them depending on their ability.

- ask to have a movie day and watch their favourite movie together. I was able to buy an old western on dvd for someone and he was so excited and watched it multiple times. Then we watched it together and he kept talking over the tv to tell me how he had a friend who looked like this actor, or ‘it really was like that you know! They just shot people!’ And random shit like that, far more interesting than the movie.

- same for books if they can still read. Or ask if they like/d poetry and what were their favourites when they were your age and what they like now. Anything like that.

- ask how they met their husband/ wife, what life was like when they had their children, how they felt when they became a grandparent and if it was still as exciting the 10th time as the 1st (some will say yes, some will say no. But it usually generates a new funny story if they say no 😂)

- ask if they used to dance and what sort of dance they did. Apparently one of my grandmothers was quite the dancer and had a lot of attention and competition on who could jive with her 😂😂 I wish we had pics!

- if they wear a perfume or cologne, take a photo of the bottle. I wish I knew the perfume one of my aunts wore. It was her signature scent that smelled like her but none of my cousins know what it was either. I’d love to smell it again and spray it on a blanket and hug it (idc how weird that sounds)

- when they’re annoying and telling the same story or same rant for the thousandth time, zone out but really look at them - their eyes, their hands, mannerisms. Just study them. I only really noticed their eye colours just before they passed tbh.

That’s my advice / Wishlist if I had a Time Machine anyway. Some of the questions can open a can of worms, like ‘how did you two meet’ and finding out he had a wife beforehand that was just never mentioned even to his children and no one knows if it’s true or if he said it cause he was losing his marbles lmao.

awww. I am gonna ask my grannies some of that. They annoy me but I actually should suck it up.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

Wow wow wow wow!!!! I love Lucretia!! She's so fun !! :3 gosh I just love love LOVE your takes on the Blacks!! I love your takes on everyone tbh but ahhhh she's just so fun! I bet Ignatius felt on top of the world with her lol !

Jeez idek what to say!! Aghhh such a good job like always! I love them! I love Remus! You just,,, get him so right! You understand him! I've never thought of Jewish/Polish/big noses LOL Remus but I'm in love w it now! Is his nose big in size or shape? Or both? :0 I really really like slash appreciate that you give him a good relationship with his parents! I've never really seen him as a mummy's boy but I've always Def thought that they all love each other!! A lot!! Ahhhh and Lyall's guilt,,,, ah! I love them! How do you think the dual religion works? :O

Umumumumumunumummmmmmmmmm if you're not tired of me yet LMAO I would really love to hear all about like,, pretty much everyone! Ik you'll probably talk more about them in your Knights post but if you have any thoughts about like,, the Averys that don't really fit in there I'd love to listen to them :3 I love your blabbers!!!!!!!! It'd also be really cool to hear about the Rosiers! Like Evan's dad :3 idkidk they're just so ! yk??

- 🍃

Ahhhh I'm so glad you love her!! She's seriously one of my favourites!!! I'm gonna do a yap on her brother and cousins at some point,,, I'm considering doing individual posts about the different families in the Sacred 28, mentioning things commonly associated with them, family scandals, known family members, family values etc jfnbjnjgb Ignatius was definitely in disbelief for a good bit honestly but once they got together I feel like he was over the moon,, it was one of those "pinch my arm so I know it's still real" situations for sure

Also ahhhh I'm so glad you see the vision for Remus,, I kinda feel like he's not the typical take people have on him?? Or maybe I've just seen a lot more of different takes which is making me feel like that vjnfjbngjbng

I think his nose is probably more noticeably big in shape? It's quite protruding I think vnjfnbjgb though it is also just a big nose in general. He's got a bit of a slope going on too, I think

YES YES YES!!! Remus having a good relationship with his parents is so important to me,, if I had to choose one Remus headcanon it might be that one tbh it just forms who he is for me in such a significant way. I think Remus being a mummy's boy or like,,, closer to his mother more so comes from the fact that Hope's trying to make up for Lyall not always being as present as he wants to be because of his guilt.

As for the dual religion, like I said, I don't think Lyall is extremely religious so as for holidays and traditions they'd likely be more Jewish leaning, especially cause I think Hope would be someone who got really focused on preparing everything etc. Depending on when Chanukah was they'd celebrate either Chanukah or Christmas but I could see them doing both if it fell on different dates? I'm not super sure but yeah!!!

I did a bit about the Avery family a few days ago jcnfjcnfj and I’m gonna do more in another post but yes, let me yap about the Rosiers!!!

So generally speaking I don’t portray Evan and Pandora as twins. Their parents are Druella’s older and younger brothers and their grandparents are Felix and Minette Rosier (I will likely be changing Minette’s name as I learned that there’s actually already a Minette Rosier, she just married into the Lestrange family). I think the Rosiers speak exclusively French when they’re home and they kinda look down on people who are able to but don’t.

Alabaster is the eldest, born in 1928 and he was the only Slytherin of his siblings. For context he’s a fifth year at Hogwarts when Tom Riddle, Edmund Avery Senior, Bruce Mulciber Senior and that whole gang are all in their sixth year. I’ve changed Cygnus Black’s age (so he doesn’t become a father at thirteen like Joanne apparently thought he should) so Alabaster and Cygnus are dorm mates in my head. Alabaster dies when he’s fairly young, either just before Evan is born or a month or so after,,, I haven’t decided yet. I just know Evan does not grow up with a dad. Alabaster married Ursa Brown (I might find a different last name for her cause I like the idea of her being French), a fellow Slytherin in his year.

Druella was born in 1930 and was a Hufflepuff. She enjoys watercolour paintings and home decorating and she’s quite close with her mother. She puts a lot of value on being a good future wife,,, there’s still a bit of drama that goes on when her and Cygnus gets engaged because before it gets announced she doesn’t know if she’s gonna marry Alphard or Cygnus (the latter who she’s had a bit of a crush on)

Acelin is the baby of the family born in 1931. He was sorted into Hufflepuff like his sister. He was noticeably close with a certain Eileen Prince who was also in both his year and house. Acelin marries Adaline, a French witch who attended Beauxbaton during her younger days

Also as it turns out, I’ve got a drawing of them from when they were in their fifth, third and second year!

My favourite headcanon for the Rosiers is that they frequently mix with Veelas. Alabaster, Druella and Acelin’s grandmother was a Veela and so they’re a quarter Veela. I like the idea of the family frequently mixing with Veelas which is how they have the white-gold hair. I could see Adaline being part Veela tho how much idk. I’m also just a sucker for Rosier family who’s odd and alluring and in theory a good handful of them are so freaky no one should want to be near them but still there’s just something inexplainable about them. Also the Rosier family who use it to their advantage to gain relationships with important wizard in families,,,,

I don’t have a lot for Evan’s dad other than like,,, his design? Though I do really like that,,, Evan is pretty much identical to him the genes are strong lol. His marriage is arranged just as both his siblings are, though he ends up quite happy with Ursa for the short time that they have together before he passes away

[carmenized-onions]

these are my thoughts

-the amish story?? we're starting with the amish story???? so you want me to bawl my fuckin eyes out, is that? i hate you onion.

-its been 0ERR minutes. damn right. feel the burn carmen berzatto, feel it!!!

-i actually had to switch tabs and play the countries of the world quiz cuz ohhhh my god carmy talking to chef david is never an easy pill to swallow

-mikey called me? i have been officially adopted into the family? im all warm inside. but as a middle child, i am offended. deeply. we also care for people and have to like keep the peace! also ouch, id feel so guilty as a baby getting the big bro attention when the big bro's actually baby is being left on read.

-oh shit oh shit we're back ahhhhhhhh please chef david/carmy needs multiple warnings. also so real so real so real receiving praise from someone who always criticized you is not as sweet as you thought it would be. actually somewhat repulsive.

-i mean,,,, great introspection there carm, but maybe like 0ERR minutes too late buddy

-"The only fuckin’ good thing in my life" ....okay maybe i change my vote and i support tony folding. im folding.

-“Hey asshole—” Richie stops, when he sees David. “Ah. You’re needed, Chef Carmen.” dont back down richie dont back down call him out in front of the stupid exec he put over everyone else. also did you notice in season three no one said 'cousin' once? not onceeeeee. carm deserved it, but damn did it hurt. please heal me onion

-“Want your coffee?” He corrects, like stroking your ego will make you fold. It does. ehehehehehe yeah yeah ill do itt

-fuck me this is dark.

-“Cousin get my fucking bag, now!” she called him cousin.

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

-carmen is definitely the joke. i know im tony, but id be on my hands knees for her too.

-onion. “And no one wants you to acknowledge that you’re the guy— Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’” how have you managed to capture the human experience of being the dependable people pleaser into words and such good words????? i could only wish to be as good at writing as you are. profession well chosen.

-'You laugh, and it quickly turns into a groan as you try to come up with something. “I uh… Oh! I fuckin’ hate the nickname ‘Jack’, that’s something.” “Oh?” He leans forward, teasingly intrigued��� You’ve thrown him a bone, because you’re the guy, too. He’s able to focus on this in lieu of himself.' ahahahah i knew this was coming, if she liked jack it would've stayed jack but noooo its chip! i been waiting for this one, turn it up! also yes so 'the guy' of her, turning the convo to you only to help out the other guy cuz the guy never wants to be the center of attention unless its actively helping someone out ugh i love you onion

-i think im gonna try to minimize the comments, its like ive got one after every sentence, jeez cool it dude.

-sydmikey crossover kind of , wow. its hitting me. i wonder what they wouldve been like together.

-'and neither of you know this is a lie, yet.' actually fuck you onion.

-shit forgot the richie carmy fight was happening right out the window???????????????????????????

-lol. bear in the freezer 1.0

-you're making me miss mikey even tho im reading mikey but damn i miss my bestie and he should be enjoying the bear with us rn (even tho the bear is shit rn 0ERR but like if it wasnt)

-“If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” oh fuck. us squidink truthers out here winning.

-'Richie’s a good dad. You will never find a good time to tell him this.' i know what you're referencing and i despise you for it. tony will tell him.

-'“Yeah, well you need to read Mark Wolynn’s ‘It Didn’t Start With You.’” Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder.' they hit very hard my man, very hard. #teamfuckeveryonebutrichie

read the rest so quick that i felt like i lived it. i hate you. you write so well. my best friend died dude ,you gave me a best friend who knew me and saw me and you killed him???

those are my thoughts. ive been reading this on an off since 10am, it is now almost 5pm. i was meant to be studying. truly the best form of procrastination is reading your work. i hope my review, tho lacking, it welcomed.

-jude the dude <3

So fun fact before we get into this, I am currently at my parents house packing all of my shit because I move into my apartment next thursday!! Thank y’all for being patient w/ me. I would fucking love to get the next chapter out tommorow (and answer all my asks) but we’ll see. I really need to prioritize packing but I,,,,, don’t want to. 

So now as my form of break I’m answering asks between boxes LMAO. SO ANYWAYS LETS FUCKING YAP FOR A WHILE!!~

(also please continue to send in essays, I've got quite the backlog if you're worried I didn't get it!! I probably maybe did!! Just busy fucking couple weeks)

I was so excited to do “what are you amish” as an opener, the doc was literally named ‘amish’ in google docs. I knew it was gonna shoot everyone dead on impact. Speaking of doc names, you ever wonder what the docs of these chapters are named?

(mushy potato is still chapter 13 I just had edited it a lot and made a new guy) I’m a little unhinged. 

Anyways FEEL THAT BURN CARMY BABY!! This was such a distressing chapter. I think it only adds to the stress to have those really sweet (mostly) moments with Mikey and then go into actually on the fucking brink with Carmen. 

I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY MIDDLE SIBLINGS!! I think we babies and middle kids should team up tbh to beat Older Sibling’s ass. Middle/Babies are 100% also taking weight on our shoulders and I feel like this is never appreciated, so I wanted to have Tony be a baby, cause it goes against that type of a Baby Sib never being the dependable one. 

I love my middle brother dearly though. I think I see trio siblings fall into the categories of

Oldest - On a hierarchy level, emotionally responsible for everyone. 

Middle - Often financially/emotionally responsible, keeps family connected.

Baby - On a personal level responsible for emotions! One-on-One dynamics, yknow?

At least, that’s where my family and coincidentally the Berzattos seem to fall. I have to stop yapping about this let’s MOVE ONNN

SOOO REAL to get praise and not feel good. It’s so wild. It’s such a wild experience to get the praise you always wanted from someone and then realize immediately oh what the fuck i don’t give a fuck what you think and quite frankly i should’ve never been trying to impress you?? It’s such a weird human experience. Can a psychology major explain this to me. 

0ERR MINUTES TOO LATE LMAOOOO— But yeah, from what I noticed, some seemed to fold after seeing how fucked the rest of Carmen’s Friday went. I feel like it also completely changes the feeling of Something to Do. Should I do a poll again? Actually no I wanna do a different poll hold on…

RICHIE! NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT? NEVER GIVE UP!!! I did notice the lack of cousin in S3, which completely made sense and hurt deeply, however I live in a world where I wanted everyone to at least a little bit understand each other. 

-ummmm can this be an x richie jerimovich now actually?

This is the poll I wanna do. Because I’ve seen a lot of RiChip or SquidInk truthers coming to the light. What the fuck would Mikey’s ship name be actually? Mikchip? McRib. What? 

You had me blusshinn with quoting the guy scene!! Thank you for saying so. I was fucking tweaking like ‘is anyone going to understand what the fuck i mean when i’m saying this or do i just need to go to therapy’. Turns out we all do. So. That’s good. THANK YOU!! I 

WAITTIN FOR THIS ONE!! CHIP ORIGINS!! I was considering having the Chip origin be another scene that would essentially be ‘off screen’ but it just felt so apt to do here. I actually had an entire other conversation planned for Mikey/Chip to have here but it just didn’t suit them. I’m so glad I went with this. And aufgh, my heart… It was always so fucking sad for me while writing this and switching back and forth between scenes and being like “GOD I DON’T WANNA GO BACK TO CARMEN/MIKEY ERA” they were both very difficult to write for different reasons. But going back to Carmen was always tough cause it was like oh yeah. Mikey’s dead by this one. And he’s not suddenly gonna come out and give someone a painful back massage. This SUCKS!!

I cooked with neither of you know this is a lie, yet. Everyone knows I caramelized the shit out of that one. 

More people need to fight in front of the restaurant. I want those bitches on STAGE. It’s so much more fun when it’s public and weird. 

Now are we a squidink truther or richip gang affiliate we have to choose one jude or are we doing a polycule because i dont know if that’s possible

LISTEN BE HONEST WHEN IS THERE A NORMAL TIME TO GO UP TO YOUR FRIEND AND BE LIKE “hey i think you’re a great father” WHAT? WHAT? I’D start fucking tweaking (crying in public), personally.

All the book reccs were brought to you by my family doctor prescribing them to me. I literally have them on a sticky note next to me. Shout out Dr V! Love you baby!! #teamfuckeveryonebutrichieanddrV

The last scene was very much so my full deep dive into time distorted grief poetry, which I fucking loved doing so thank you to everyone who enjoyed it (you!!). Bro, getting to the end was so hard because I also fell in love with best friend Mikey writing it and I was like man,,,, does he have to die though,,, can we like,,, make him into a marvel superhero or something and pivot genres?? I hate this,,, So listen Mr Storer killed him I just poured a fuck ton of salt in the wound. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEW, ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE THOUGHTS I LOVE TO GET THEM IT’S NEVER LACKING!!! Back to packing I go. I think I’ll tackle the desk next? Wish me luck brothers.

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #27:

Willie Nelson Sings Kristofferson

When I was eight years old my parents took me to see my first naked lady. Let me tell you all about it.

I grew up in LA but had no real relationship to Hollywood; yes, we'd take periodic trips to Universal Studios to ride through the one foot high Red Sea, see the Psycho house and climb on props from The Incredible Shrinking Woman, but Ricky Schroder didn't live on my block and my dad was a house painter.

My only connection to Hollywood and fame was my mom's famous cousin Kris, who we'd see once every other year or so. Kristofferson has never known me from Adam but, like me, he loved my mother and deeply loved my grandmother. He was also incredibly handsome, kind, deeply masculine and, by that point, stone cold sober. So of course he was my idol.

And so when Songwriter, Kris's totally forgettable buddy flick with Willie Nelson, came out in 84, I begged my parents to take me to see it. The movie was about writing, I argued, and I was going to be a writer when I grew up. I was eight years old and I was already full of crap; the movie is almost as dumb as I was:

Bizarrely, my parents agreed to take me, and next thing you know my mother was literally covering my eyes with her hands as Cousin Kris cavorted with a naked lady who clearly wasn't his wife and who had the world's biggest knockers. Happily, my mother's fingers are skinny, so I got an eyeful. The movie taught me absolutely nothing about writing, but I did start to wonder about naked ladies. They seemed pretty cool.

Still, I wondered just how Kris's lovely wife felt about him making such a movie. Every time I was around them, she was literally covered in their babies - there were way too many of them for me to begin identifying individual ages or names, especially as they all looked the same. Did she know, I worried, about the lady with the giant boobies? Would there marriage survive?

Well, it's 40 years later and I'm proud to report that they are still very happily married. Maybe she never bothered to watch Songwriter...

Thankfully Nelson and Kristofferson's relationship was not born on the movie lot, and based on the image on the back of Willie's 79 album Willie Nelson Sings Kristofferson and their time together in the Highwaymen, I sense that the relationship is a special one for both men.

In preparation for my discussion of the record, here's a warm-up, one-question, multiple choice, pop quiz on Nelson:

Question: How many studio albums has Nelson put out in his 61 year career?

54

38

565

100

Before you google the answer, let me provide a little perspective. Nelson and Bob Dylan both made their album debuts in 62; 6 years later Neil Young put out his first solo record. To date, Neil has 45 studio albums, or so, to his name, depending on how you count. Dylan, 40.

(Stephen Stills, as we all know, Sucks: in a career that's as long as Young's he's produced somewhere under 30 records or so, and that total generously includes all the C, S & N albums.)

Choice #1 in the above quiz makes sense. It would make Nelson slightly more productive than Neil and far more productive than Bob, and I can get my mind around that: Bob's production has slowed down considerably in the last 30 years, and Young's alternated between rushing things out half-baked (for example, everything he ever made with members of Willie's family in the Promise of the Real) or refusing to issue finished and impossibly great records for decades for no discernible reason (Homegrown, Chrome Dreams - you know, two of the best records of all time).

Choice #2, wherein Nelson spent less time in the studio than either Bob or Neil, could work too: Nelson is 4 years older than Dylan (Willie's 90!) and he didn't put out any records until his late 20's; plus he's always high, right? So maybe he's less prolific?

Choice #3 is included to make sure you're not a bot. If you are, Greetings, Machine. I hope you are enjoying my blog! Thank you for being 53 of my 59 followers. When you are done reading this please go attack some Russian servers or something, okay?

Choice #4 is nearly as wacko, right? How could Willie possibly have produced 1.64 albums a year, smoked all that supposed pot, evaded all those supposed taxes and made a terrible movie with Cousin Kris along the way? Can't be done, right?

Wrong. The correct answer is #4. Nelson has made an even 100 studio albums in his career. In 1982 alone he put out 4 records, 3 of which were issued in consecutive months. Holy Smoke, Willie!

Now I want to come right on out and say that I own, and have only heard, a fraction of those albums. I count 9 on my shelf at the moment and I'm no real authority on Willie. What's more, I've never been to Farm Aid, nor have I ever seen an Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground. I've never even smoked any of Nelson's herb and I'd decline it if offered. So, if you want to put me in a full Nelson in the comments and critique all the follows, be my guest.

But in the meantime I'm gonna act like I know a lot about Wet Willie and his impossible album total and argue that the sheer enormity of his output explains a few things about him generally and Sings Kristofferson in particular.

The album in question is alternatively workman-like, tossed off, intricate and sublime. I'm guessing he recorded it in a weekend of single takes after spending ten years singing the songs for his own pleasure. Let's dive into this Dollar Bin must-have.

To begin with, the hits are all here. Make a list of Kristofferson songs you know and they are probably all on the record.

Bobby McGee is given a country blues work up with an extended jam at the back end. Nelson rides the riff in baritone. The truth is that I've never heard a single version of this wonderful song that I really love other than Kris's own take: only he really understands how damn sad the story is. Roger Miller sings it like he's the gringo at the fiesta; Gordon Lightfoot gets the job done then moves on to songs of his own that mean much more to him; Janis Joplin rewrites it almost entirely, and while the result is classic, I have to remind myself that hers is the same song.

Much the same can be said for the album's Sunday Morning Coming Down. Nelson is thoughtful, takes the song to church and then the dance hall, and fills both spaces with stately grace.

I like playing Nelson's version of the song while putting together a nice weekend brunch for my family. There's plenty fresh hot coffee on hand for my wife and the egg sandwiches have avocado, swiss and homemade hollandaise. I pick out nice plates.

But the song is about beer for breakfast. And only Kristofferson really conveys just how much misery it contains:

And so I think that the real magic of Nelson's record lies in the songs Kristofferson got wrong on his own. Take You Show Me Yours (And I'll Show You Mine). Kris was pretty lost on alcohol when he blasted through his own version: there's a 4,000 member choir on hand along with a trashcan percussion section and too slick of a pianoman. All poor Kris can do is warble along.

But Willie uses the song to show off his pipes. And, oh, aren't they glorious!

And the album closes with something pretty extraordinary I think. Please Don't Tell Me How the Story Ends is a song Kris passed on to others in the late 60's. He didn't attempt a version of his own until the 3rd album he made with Rita Coollidge and that record is straight up boring. Their marriage was already over; the story had already ended.

But Nelson's version is startlingly perfect. Just sit with me a moment. Enjoy it, till it's over. And lean in for the second line of the second verse. I find the note Willie hits for "softer" to be one of the most surprising and sublime moments in my entire Dollar Bin.

I kind of imagine Nelson will live to 100 and put out another 25 records. But Cousin Kris will surely pass away in the coming days, months or years. So too will Bob and Neil. I honestly hate to think about it. Just like me, they are all flawed men, yes, but I believe they are important artists and their contributions have been, and will continue to be, deeply positive.

When the day comes and I hear of Kris's passing, I'll surely put on this record and think with appreciation of the really nice moments I was lucky to spend in his company as a kid. I'll think of his wonderful songwriting, and I'll think of the loving pride with which he stood beside my grandmother. I'll probably remember too how he granted me my first look at boobies.

And when Willie Nelson begins to sing in Please Don't Tell Me How... and describes so perfectly a last night spent together, I'll sit still and close my eyes, saying a little prayer in my own way.

That's how I want the story to end.

[whatisreggieshortfor]

My Brother’s Keeper

Rohan x MC

Foster just wants to care for her autistic brother. Her parents are so sure she needs them to set her up to find someone that will love her that way. Too bad they don’t understand her or her brother.

@justtuesdays @csmicletters @rebelrayne

I hope I did this justice 😭

Foster had been described a lot of ways by people in her life.

Her mates described her as protective, softhearted, witty, sharp tongued. She was who they turned to when they needed someone to listen.

Her parents called her hardworking, social, driven, compassionate. She was who they turned to when they needed help.

Her exes complained she was closed off, too narrow focused, stubborn, a type A personality. They would say she never let herself rely on them.

Her exes and her parents had one thought in common- they believed she used her little brother as an excuse, a shield to keep away intimacy and vulnerability, a way to keep people- and romantic prospects- from getting too close.

Her mates had a different line of thinking. They believed that Stevie was more Foster’s final test for a companion. Not out of a place of malice, or even awareness. None of them thought Foster had any idea she did it, but if someone wanted to be in her life and they thought Stevie was a problem or obstacle in the way, then they were never around long enough to matter.

Because Stevie is autistic.

He had needs special to him that had to be met, and Foster was never nervous or agitated about meeting those needs. Their parents tried, they really did. But she was twelve when he was born and sort of just became his person. Like he was a baby duck and imprinted on her. When she was old enough and got a job that required her to relocate, her parents couldn’t handle the meltdowns he’d have not seeing her every day. So she offered, filed the paperwork when they agreed, and became his guardian.

Foster’s mates had been taken aback when they had visited her flat and her younger brother was suddenly taking up residence in the second bedroom, but her best mate wasn’t. Rohan had been the only one she told before the paperwork was filed, and he had volunteered to assist in moving Stevie’s belongings. None of them were bothered, they had met Stevie several times and adored him. Even when he struggled, they were understanding. Her mates understood that she was his lifeline, the only other person he was ever comfortable around was Rohan- they joked it was the hazard of knowing Foster as long as he had.

Their parents would visit, video call, phone them- they tried to make sure Stevie knew that he was still their son, whether they understood him or not. For him it was just part of the routine Foster helped him establish.

But their mum and dad were also convinced that she would never end up married if Stevie always depended on her- they didn’t pay attention to the fact that she didn’t care what they wanted for her. Convinced it was the only way she’d end up happy, her parents decided they needed to set her up. And what better place than their cousin’s wedding? He was a good man, marrying a well-to-do woman. They were sure that her friend would be perfect.

Foster hadn’t wanted to go. Not only did Stevie have trouble with traveling, but she didn’t care for their cousin.

Or more specifically, she didn’t care for his bride.

Lucas was a gentleman through and through, he never pressured her or got annoyed for choosing to care for Stevie and take his comfort into account rather than to go out and have fun. But his bride-to-be had always made it known that she didn’t care for children, especially those that could misbehave. Foster’s parents never saw an issue with her, only seeing her at family events where she had her best face on, but Hope never went near anyone under fifteen.

Where Lucas never flinched at hearing or seeing Stevie stim, Foster had seen his fiancé glare silently in her seat. She wasn’t sure what the woman would do if he couldn’t stay quiet during the big day. Regardless of her parents wishes, she was going to stay home. Lucas and Rohan had convinced her that it would be okay, Lucas would help her where he could, and Rohan would take care of things at home for them.

So she prepared. Stevie’s headphones were put in his bag, the spare set put in hers. Stevie rechecked the bags she packed three times, once each day leading to their departure. Foster watched as he did his best to remain calm as they started the drive, they had gone over everything they needed to know, and Rohan was taking care of the plants Stevie cared for every day.

Waking up at the hotel Lucas had booked for them, Foster sighed to herself. Stevie didn’t like new places- he had thrown the pillowcase off his pillow, he didn’t like the way it felt. His bag was emptied, his things set in the closest relative places they would be at home. But he was awake, he wasn’t unhappy, and he let her help him prepare for the wedding.

They sat near the back though they were early, she knew he didn’t appreciate crowds, and she would much rather be at home with Rohan than to watch her stuffy aunt and uncle parade her cousin around, but she didn’t get a choice. Nearly as soon as they sat down, a man occupied the seat next to her, essentially ignoring the large number of empty seats. “You must be Foster.”

She blinked, glad he at least chose to sit on her side away from her brother, but confused how he knew her name, “I am. If you’re looking for Lucas-“

“No,” the man grinned, he almost looked like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do, but it was obviously strained after a moment when she didn’t seem to recognize him through his posturing, “I’m Reese. Your mum wanted us to meet.”

She cringed internally, remembering how her parents demanded she give him a better chance than she had her exes. They kept emphasizing she couldn’t stay single forever. If only they knew, “Right. Good to meet you.” As more people filled the room, she became more aware of Stevie shifting uncomfortably next to her, so she directed her attention to him. Ensuring his noise cancelling headphones were in place, she turned back but Reese was gone. She couldn’t dwell on it as the wedding began, she had to focus to keep him calm.

But the room was crowded.

Stevie’s clothes made him itchy.

The seven or eight year old girl of the couple next to him kept trying to take his comfort toy- a stuffed triceratops Foster had bought him as a toddler.

She tried to calm him down, muttering lowly as to not disturb the others in attendance as she helped him count out the windows, focus on the patterns he could observe as he usually did to relax-

But then the girl finally slipped his toy from his hands, and Stevie had let out an instinctual yell as it slid from his grasp.

Foster didn’t think twice, snatching the dinosaur back and letting him tug it into his chest, eyes narrowed when the couple tried to glare her way at the disturbance.

The minister had halted his speech, all eyes in the room shifting to look at the two of them and she wished they would stop. Stevie hated having eyes on him. Lucas, bless her cousin, cleared his throat and insisted that they continue, but his bride had other plans.

“Not until that’s over.” Hope snapped, sneering at the groom, “I told you I wasn’t a fan of kids attending fancy things, they don’t care.”

Lucas pulled back like she’d slapped him, repulsion clear on his face, “Stevie is doing his best.”

“Sure, whatever.” She pursed her lips, “You promised me this would go off without a hitch, it was the only reason I let you invite them.”

Several of the guests were still turning to look at Foster as Stevie began to rock in his seat, she finally got him to look at her, “Want to go outside? We can watch the clouds.”

He didn’t nod exactly, but he jumped to his feet with his toy still clutched to his chest, and she followed him out, shooting Lucas an apologetic look as they went.

She hadn’t been sure how the rest of the ceremony went, finding a field for Stevie to lie in with a clear view of the fluff drifting over their heads. Eventually people started drifting out of the church, some glaring at them as they went, but some seemed to be shooting grateful looks their way. She noticed the former must’ve been from Hope’s side, while the latter she recognized from Lucas’s side. Their parents emerged eventually, both nearly red faced as they started to stomp their way over, but Lucas flew past them and scooped Foster into a hug, “Bloody hell, thank you so much.”

She blinked, entirely unsure what she was being thanked for, “For interrupting your wedding?”

“For giving me the reason to cancel my wedding.”

“I’m sorry- what??” Her eyes widened, disbelief flooding her features as he smiled far too largely for the news he shared.

Lucas just shook his head, “You know I don’t want kids, neither does Hope, and I thought that was a good sign for us. But she actually just can’t stand to be around children- especially any like Stevie, and I love the little guy too much to marry someone that talks about him the way she was.”

She nodded, still not understanding exactly what happened, “So what now?”

Lucas shrugged, “Reception is still paid for. We go have a drink and dance- I’ve got a room set up for Stevie in the hall we rented. Standard things he likes- food specified for him, those history channel shows on the Telly he loves on dvd.”

Foster had just finished listening to a forty five minute ramble on the intricacies or pro wrestling when she felt a tug on her sleeve, turning to see Stevie, “Every day at three o clock.”

“What?” Reese cocked his head, somehow looking annoyed that someone was stealing his limelight, “What does he mean every day at three o clock?”

She shushed the man beside her, redirecting all her attention to her younger brother, “Were you supposed to do something today at three?”

“Every day at three o clock.” The boy fidgeted, glancing around like he was looking for something, “Every day at three o clock! It’s nearly three- I’m gonna be late!”

“I understand.” She offered firmly, but softly, understanding without the strength to scare him, “I know you don’t like questions, but you need to help me understand what happens every day at three o clock.” She had schedule memorized, but Lucas had talked her into a drink, and then she needed two or three more to deal with Reese’s non stop ego talk.

“Cat. Every day at three o clock. I need to feed the cat- the cat is always there! I need to feed the cat.”

She smiled, hands hovering in front of her to show she wouldn’t touch him, before she gave him a gentle reminder, “Someone is feeding the cat, remember? We wouldn’t let that poor stray starve just because you aren’t home.” Pulling out her phone, she realized the time was two fifty eight as she opened a video call, the flat they shared immediately coming into view, “Hey, Rohan! You know what time it is, right?”

The dark haired man’s beaming smile didn’t fade as he laughed at the check up call, “I am opening the cat food right this second,” he flipped the camera to show the can opener latched onto a half opened can of wet cat food, a familiar dish sitting next to it, “I have the bowl Stevie bought for him, I’m going to put it exactly two feet away from the wall centered behind the rubbish bin under the fire escape. Stevie, you are welcome to stay on the call and watch it happen.” He didn’t ask if he wanted to watch the simple action of a cat being fed. He gave him the option, open ended, and left it up to Stevie to decide.

Neither were surprised when he didn’t take the phone, but watched with an intensity as Rohan put the food into the bowl and began carrying it outside. She resisted the urge to reach out, as she would for anyone else, when his shoulders started to rock forward and back, the time was two fifty nine. At exactly three o clock, they watched as he set the bowl under the fire escape, centered behind the rubbish bin, measured and marked two feet from the wall. And they saw the stray cat edge out from behind forgotten scrap piles in the alley, cautiously approaching the man he didn’t know, before recognizing the bowl and hurrying forward. “Thanks, love.”

“Thank you.” Stevie echoed.

“No problem, little dude. Enjoy your day, if you want to call again at seven, I’ll be here to water the plants. Swear, I’m following the schedule to a T. You can catch me up on the big day.”

As soon as the call ended, Stevie was directing himself back out of the crowded room they were in, and she watched him meander down the corridor to the room Lucas had set up for him.

Only for an annoyed voice to cut into her attention, “Love?” Reese scoffed, “Bit familiar to address a friend, innit?”

Foster snorted, “Maybe, but how else do you address the person you’ve been dating for two years?”

Reese was gobsmacked, staring at her like she’d grown two heads, “Wha-“

She waved her hand, “Yeah, yeah, my parents wanted to set us up. But it’s not because of me being single, it’s because they refuse to acknowledge that my boyfriend understands my brother and loves him as much as I do. They think I need to find someone that loves me despite Stevie. Not including him. And that’s where we differ.” She shrugged stifling a laugh as the man stomped away. She didn’t feel the need to explain, even though she would when prompted. Lucas understood, because he loved Stevie just as much. Her mates understood, because again they loved Stevie just as much. But Rohan had always been her best mate. Despite the feelings she had spent years smothering inside, she never let them bubble to the surface until she had seen it one day.

Stevie had been having a terrible day. They needed to take the tram because her car had died, people kept getting too close and bumping into him, his dinosaur had gotten wet when someone spilled juice on it at the café they had stopped at for lunch, the waitress had given him mango slices instead of apple slices and he bit into it without looking as he counted the tiles in the ceiling. He hated the texture of mangos, too slimey. She wasn’t sure what she could do, what could be done.

And then Rohan had gotten the text about it, showing up at her flat without her ever uttering the request. He distracted Stevie with the DVR’d episodes of How the States Got Their Shapes he’d recorded for them to watch together, giving Foster time to wash his triceratops and prepare food that he would eat. And when she finally made it back to the living room, she saw Stevie- eyes still focused on the tv- reaching and gently resting his hand on top of Rohan’s. She had nearly dropped the plate, surprised to see him touching anyone else. Rohan had stiffened, imperceptible to Stevie, and glanced back at her with nearly teary eyes.

That was when she knew.

Because yes, admittedly she used Stevie’s attachment to her as a shield, a test, but not to keep people away.

But to keep him protected.

Foster always knew that she would go to the ends of the Earth for Stevie, so anyone that wanted to be in her life needed to be able to be in his.

Rohan had been in her life nearly as long as Stevie had, ten years compared to his twelve, and he treated her brother like his own. He helped her find everything she needed for guardianship, he would babysit during the seldom times she needed to go to the office for work, and he learned the boy’s schedule by heart so that he could help him get through the day.

So when he made a move that night, after Stevie had fallen asleep holding his hand, Rohan had originally only given her a hug and promised to always be there when she needed a shoulder to lean on.

Somehow the lines got blurred in that talk and they ended up confessing to each other in the same breath, but she would never look back.

Because Rohan was exactly what she wanted, exactly what her brother needed, and everything in between.

Masterlist

[julietasgf]

Ma's parents sensing that something was off with Strabo just like how Ma could sense that Coriolanus was bad news, the generational bad taste in men is just :(( I don't know what a carcará is but hunting, killing, not starving sounds just like Strabo (and kinda Coriolanus) and I am so eager to see what goes on in the mind of that questionable man! Also I was literally just thinking about how Ma thought Strabo was a better man than her father, but just like her father, Strabo doesn't actually take Ma seriously (the line about how Strabo would never give up his ambitions for Ma's dreams because he never took her seriously in that way!). To me, it seems like Ma's parents didn't have the healthiest relationship so Ma didn't grow up knowing what's truly a good, loving relationship, and then she meets Strabo and thinks he's the one but she never really saw a healthy relationship she could model hers after :( NOT STRABO'S SIBLINGS BEING 8 YEARS OLD WHEN HE WENT OFF ON THEM, THAT'S JUST SO—They were literally children who probably didn't really understand what was happening, just that their big brother and mom are fighting and their dad is also dead, and then BAM, at the end of it all they're left with no father, no older brother, no main source of income (I'm assuming the factory was their main source of income?) But omg did Strabo just up and leave and left his siblings high and dry?? He didn't leave them with any money or anything? Like sure, maybe it's not really his legal responsibility to care for his siblings when they still have their mom who can work and support them, but are you for real?? They loved him so much and probably were dependent on his income and now he's just gone. Now I'm thinking about his siblings going to him for comfort when they're hurt or scared (like running to his room during a thunderstorm and wanting comforting cuddles) and thinking they could always rely on him but then he just crushes them with his words and basically abandons them :( Strabo Plinth watch your back because karma (is a cat purring in my lap cuz it loves me, flexing like a goddamn acrobat) is gonna get you!! Also not Strabo preferring being shot to going back and apologizing to his siblings. This man is so unreal, like he was absolutely in the wrong for going off on two CHILDREN but he won't even try talking to them afterwards... Not the 18 year old niece/nephew almost making it out of the reaping only to be chosen for the 25th one...you know what, I believe they can win it! Them being 18 already gives them a little bit of an advantage over the younger kids, and I believe they can win it out of rage and spite! (after winning they can pull up to Strabo's house and be like PULL UP UNCLE, WE HAVE SOME "TALKING" TO DO, but seriously if I were those kids, I'd be so PISSED at this uncle I've never met but is somehow ruining my life and my family's life for ETERNITY) It would be so interesting to see who the tributes were for the 25th hunger games and why they were voted in! I wonder if some districts were thinking to vote in older kids so that they'd have better chances of winning? It's so cruel to pit 12 year olds against 18 year olds because no duh a 12 year old has almost no chance against the older kids D2 continuing to associate Strabo's brothers with him even if they don't agree with what Strabo did is so :((( But omg the part about even if they changed their surname, D2 can still recognize the resemblance between them and the guy on capitol propaganda...what if the niece/nephew chosen for the 25th hunger games has a strong physical resemblance to Sejanus and Ma and Strabo see that and do a double take at this 18 year old Plinth who looks so much like their Sejanus...and they are likely facing certain death just like their Sejanus (idk if cousins can look that similar? but that would be something...but also who knows if the blond demon would even allow Strabo to live that long because the blond devil just be poisoning everyone)

hello anon!! as usual I'm going to answer everything in one post!! hope that's okay :))

the generational bad taste is crazy, and the worst is that generations would pass and the same thing keeps going on again and again and again. atp, they know how to recognize the signs, how to recognize these kind of men, but it's still not enough (also, I imagine her sisters to have married better people, or not married at all; imagine her own mom being relieved thinking the cycle finally came to an end, now just the baby sister being left to get married, and then ma marries strabo of all ppl. how similar it is when ma was relieved that sejanus fell for a boy that was good, that was gentle and nice and good, just for years later for it to repeat again.)

OKAY SO there's just one thing I love more than religious symbolism and it's animal symbolism, so let me tell you a bit abt the carcará (you can skip this if you want anon, it's just me getting too excited and being a nerd): I'll always associate characters with animals, and a carcará is this bird who looks like an eagle, but isn't an eagle. it can live almost everywhere because it'll ALWAYS find a way to survive and eat, but they are also found in places that are hard to live, with few water, few food, just very harsh life conditions. they are particularly famous because some farmers would do slash and burn agriculture, and when the farmers burn the lands, the carcarás fly down to hunt snakes and other animals in the smoke. very wild guys who are willing to do anything to survive and are associated with the idea of survival at all costs. very much strabo (and coriolanus too!!!!!) imo.

yes!!!! in the practice, strabo isn't that different from her own pa. it's just that he's more gentle about, somewhat more subtle, and she took it for some form of kindness. AND YES her only example of relationships were... her parents. I imagine her father to be more harsh than strabo, at least regarding her, so when strabo is much less rude (at least with her, he's not; he doesn't make jokes regarding her, he thinks she's capable of protecting herself, he's not nice but he isn't straight up a dick), she thinks "oh, okay, this is what a healthy relationship looks like", when it's not, really. ma deserves so, so, so much better than him. (and to think that it repeats when her son also doesn't have a good relationship to model after and goes for someone who, if anything, tolerates him </3)

THESE KIDS REALLY WEREN'T UNDERSTANDING, bro, it's heartbreaking. strabo's baby siblings are so sweet, and they look up to him so much. their parents were barely at home, so he was their reference. (fun fact, they called him bo. literally the only ppl to ever call him that. not even ma called him that.) the family had two incomes: the family factory (at the time strabo's father was responsible for it, it was a MESS, it had more debt than anything, so it was barely enough to survive) and his stepmother worked at a tile painting factory. strabo paid all the factory debts, cleaned everything, and started making money that was enough for his stepmother to stop working and just stay at home taking care of his sick father, but now that he left, she comes back to working in the same way before in a very harsh schedule. but even if he didn't leave them without any money, it was still a low blow, because, again, THESE KIDS LOVED HIM SO MUCH, THEY TRUSTED HIM, and they for sure will have to start working early because the factory helped a lot. I think strabo is the kind of person who thinks "if I had to suffer, then I don't care if other will have to go through the same". he wouldn't really be bothered by them having to leave school to work because it was the same thing he had to go through (which is a fucked up way of thinking) :/ he's very much some sort of anti-katniss regarding how he treats his baby siblings. karma is gonna track him down, that's for sure (step by step from district to district), the only bad thing is that it also affects ma and sejanus who REALLY don't deserve any of the consequences of his actions (but still have to pay for it)

oh for sure they could win it, specially being from D2 (let's assume that in the 25th games, the careers were still not a thing, but the D2 tributes DID have more advantage bc of being better fed and overall it seems like a district with a lot of tall ppl lmao every single person we have met from D2 in the books is described as tall). that kid winning out of pure RAGE? just to come back home and be able to yell that they're more district than anything, they're not their stupid capitol uncle? I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!! (ALSO LMAO I would totally see it during the victory tour that kid seeing strabo by accidentally and being ready to THROW HANDS. I would be ready to be at that man's throat for ruining my life and pretty much the life of almost all the family)

yessssss like, how brutal these games were??? bc I'm assuming most (if not all) tributes were 18, maybe some 17, exactly bc one of the first things I think people at the districts would come to the conclusion is that it's too cruel to put kids who are 12 there. were these kids voted for being troublemakers? were they voted because of stuff their parents did? were they voted because the people came to the conclusion they would have the best chances to come back alive? were they voted because they were an outcast? there's SO many possibilities for different storylines. I'm not very fond of the idea of a lot of books about different games, but THIS one is one I would want to see, specially because I think it was the beggining of the propaganda that stripped some districts from their identity (putting these people against each other and destroying the sense of community; if your neighbour can vote in your child, can you really trust them? imagine the fights that followed it?)

I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING, and not only with this kid, but with a lot of D2 kids after sejanus' death. a particular headcanon of mine is that since the districts are very isolated, there are some traits that are more common in certain districts; for example, katniss saying in thg that her and gale look a lot alike. so imagine strabo, probably now closer than ever to politics bc of coriolanus, watching every year the hunger games and every year having to see a child that resembles his boy, his poor boy, going to death. it's torture. he would invest so much and sponsor a D2 kid every single year, and people would think it's just him holding on district pride, but it's not; it's him trying to make up for the guilt that he wasn't able to save sejanus. at least this other D2 kid he can save. (also you calling coriolanus blond demon was so real, I'm screaming 😭 but I think he wouldn't kill strabo until he reached the presidency, which would definitely take a few more years)

I think so! probably not in the same grade, but sejanus is so curious and he questions everything, he for sure would notice that there's another plinth on school and try to ask his pa about it, but strabo would try to say that it's common for more than one family to have the same surname (which is not a lie; he knows more than one molina, and more than one valestone, and more than one rocha) and sejanus accepts it (besides, his pa would lie to him... right?). and definitely 😭 that's for sure his biggest frustration, that he wants a loving family, but he's too much of a dick to bond with his son without hurting him. I imagine him walking near his old house, seeing his siblings reuniting for a holiday with a happy family, and him feeling bitter over it. but, well. it's the consequences of his choices.

I imagine baby sejanus to be so bullied by his maternal cousins lmao 😭 I think the other cousins are closer in age and older, so let's say sejanus is 6 and the cousins are like 12, 13, 14. ma would try to get him to pass some time with his cousins, but they scare him and tease him and he comes back home in tears bc they don't want to play with him. I think sejanus was too shy as a kid, the type of child who got anxiety by having to go out of home; basically, the type of child who needs to get adopted by an extroverted child as a friend, and if there's no extroverted to do so, he just ends up alone. I think he got it from strabo (not the shyness, the being introverted thing)! until his teenage years, strabo was pretty much alone lmao it just changed when he was running the industry, and then he had to adapt and learn how to perform. (if sejanus got to live long enough, who knows if he would also be able to learn how to perform, even if just a little, for the sake of his life? we'll never know)

I was going to say "nah, I think this is too extreme even for strabo", but then I remembered. yk. the whole marcus thing. and I stopped and stared at the wall and got "oh...". so it's absolutely a possibilty ☠️ even as some sort of revenge getting one of the molinas' grandkids on the games, oh god (specially because he IS jealous of the molinas).

strabo ruining ppl's lives even when he's NOT THERE ANYMORE. and they don't even talk anymore!!!! it's been so long, they probably even struggle to recognize how he sounded like, because it's been so much time, and district 2 is BIG, they don't see each other constantly. it makes me sick to my stomach, because they REALLY didn't choose any of this, and if they got to choose, they or sure would choose kindness, or at least for things to end up differently. AND YES, I WAS THINKING ABT THESE PARALLELS, rip sejanus, you would've loved to learn that one of your uncles got to be a doctor </3 (also, imagine strabo listening to sejanus telling him that he wants to be a doctor, and strabo having war flashbacks because he knows that's what one of his siblings got to be lmao)

I searched up in english just to be sure and D2, besides mining stones, is said to be responsible for masonry; now, this is a bit of a hc: I imagine that one of the reasons D2 is so wealthy is bc they not only mine stones, but bc they pretty much were responsible for projecting buildings and cities. I can see that before the war, it was full of architects and engineers who would send their projects to the capitol, and pretty much built the city (now, imagine D2 rebels having their hands on the floor plan of important places and buildings). this changed a lot after the rebellion, as the ppl from the capitol got scared from letting district people knowing how their city works. I said all of this just to say that I imagine one of the twins to be a doctor (thanks to your hc!!!) and the other one to be an architect lmao 😭

PANEM IS SO INTERESTING like, miss collins, I love creating hcs, BUT I WOULD LOVE EVEN MORE TO HEAR YOUR CANON THOUGHTS. tell me about the wedding traditions!!! their religion!!! how things were before snow and his propaganda clearly changed a lot (not only in D2, but we can see it in D12 as well)!!! what was the last straw for the rebels to start the first rebellion??? does panem have diplomatic relations with other countries, if there's other countries?? mockingjays are important in D12, but are there animals who are important in other districts??? how many things of the old usa was left, and what other cultural heritage was also left from other places, as the usa is a country multicultural and diverse??? the choice she made of showing us in tbosas that D2 have a funeral tradition pretty much related to some form of religious manifestation (the idea of crumbling bread over someone dead's body for their afterlife journey) drives me INSANE because 1. I'm an overthinker, and 2. there's so many fun possibilities because these districts clearly have different cultures and habits and maybe even celebrations!!! I really hope one day she makes a guide or something about it, because I would eat it up

[purplesurveys]

1839

What were you doing at 10:30 this morning? I was at Sunday mass sweating my ass off.

Is there anyone else in the room with you? It would just be me and the wrestling match that's playing in the background.

If you married the last male you spoke to, what would your initials be? RM, funnily enough.

What did you have for lunch today? I had looooooots of sushi and looooooots of sashimi. It was my cousin's 20th birthday and my mom wanted to treat our extended family to lunch, so to a Japanese restaurant we went.

In your phone, who is the first contact listed under ‘L’? Laurice :)

How old is he/she? She's 25 this year.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Guy.

What’s the 9th song on your iTunes “Recently Played” list? I haven't used iTunes since the first half of high school.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you text messaged? I bet they're dark brown as well because everyone I talk to is Filipino anyway.

Who is the first contact in your phone? What colour is his/her hair? A work contact; black.

How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Hope on the Street has six songs on it.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My mom, I guess? She rarely does it nowadays though. I do have a relative on my mom's side who once tried to embarrass me publicly by invalidating/questioning my profession, so I'll count him.

Is there a song you can listen to over and over and never get fed up? That would be Closer by RM, ft. Mahalia.

Do you have a friend whose name begins with ’H’? Describe him/her. Hannah! I was closer with her in college and we barely talk now, but she's the kind of friend that you'll...always just kinda have a soft spot for, so I love her all the same. She's very nice and can be cheeky in a very endearing and lovable way if she wants to, and a terrific singer.

Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? Don't use iTunes anymore.

So, how are you? Is there anything wrong? I'm okay. I had a terrific 6-day break that I spent running errands and having an extremely productive Wrestlemania marathon, but this Sunday evening I'm winding things down with surveys so I can be relaxed and calm for when I come back to work tomorrow.

How do you handle awkward situations? It definitely depends on the situation, but a safe go-to is to just use my phone and pretend to look occupied.

Who is the most intelligent person you know? Hans, my dad, Andi. Couldn't pick just one.

Who was the last female you were introduced to? Not too sure...it may have been someone related to work. I meet so many people everyday hahaha.

What was your first impression of her? I can't even remember the person haha, sorry!

Who was the last male you were introduced to? ^ Same.

What was your first impression of him? ^ Saaaame same same.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter 'F’. "Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making FAJITAS!"

Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex? Yes.

Would you ever consider being more than friends with them? Hell no, he feels much like a brother-in-law at this point lol.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? Is he/she in a relationship? A work contact who's actually a pretty well-known/established local actor; I have his number as I needed to work with him for a brand I used to manage. He's married.

If you could travel back in time, which year would you go to? I'd love to have been present and conscious for Wrestlemania 17, which took place in 2001.

When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? I don't frequently make sandwiches but the last time I had one was two Saturdays ago. I had a(n overpriced) Monte Cristo.

What were you like as a 12 year old? Just as much of a dramatic rebel you'd imagine an angsty 12 year old to be. I fantasized running away and cutting off my family, having tattoo sleeves, and was still busy being the problem child/black sheep of the family. Wrestling was what kept me sane at the time, as it was impossible for me to make friends in school.

What colour are the eyes of the last female you text messaged? Dark brown.

When you woke up this morning, what kind of mood were you in? A little sad since I realized it was Sunday already.

Are you hungry? Craving any food in particular? No. I had so much sushi earlier and still feel full that tbh I don't mind not eating til tomorrow.

In the past week, how many times have you cried? Once, but it was all good tears cause I was just crying over a wrestling match and how nicely-done the storytelling was told lol. For anyone who would care - Warrior vs. Savage, Wrestlemania 7.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being amazing), how good is life atm? 7.5.

[tmrrwppl]

Been thinking about how Clari and Stephen are cousins and probably share the same 5 braincells because Stephen is a reckless idiot, and Clari is a slightly less reckless dumbass. And both are absolutely little chaos goblins for the LULZ.

But like, they have never interacted much during the main canon. Clari was around and Stephen was around, but they never really talked (again, main trio [John Cara Stephen] vs secondary trio [Cas, Clari, Russ] with only Russ being the 4th wheel to the main trio). And Clari was always busy AF keeping everyone alive in the Lair.

But the times they have interacted, absolutely morons together. Bad puns, side eye glances of judgement about everyone else. They could totally have a good relationship if they interacted.

But for now, Clari just forms this bond with Marla that is absolutely 'favorite aunt'/'favorite niece' and Stephen is still just 'eh that chosen one guy I'm related to'.

But also at the same time, she's like, 6 years older than him... and probs about a full foot shorter so she can't exactly just step up and be the cool older cousin, cause she's absolutely a hot mess (by her own admission, since Stephen's def graduating high school and she never made it past freshman year etc etc)-- but she'd probably just take Luca under her wing as the sole human bb and if he breaks out, she'll throw a damn party for him to make him feel more comfortable with all the nonsense he's seen and dealt with from e'rrybody.

Sidebar:

I feel like after the fact when Clari finds out about Jed being her dad, she goes to Marla since she's basically the only adult left she has current familial ties to, and Marla takes one look at her and is like "yeah, that checks" (because she also have freaking eyeballs, Jed).

And tbh Clari having strong relationships with the mother figures in her life (Morgan and Marla [and Jordan's mother, Adelle, in most verses]) is fantastic. Because God knows her own mother was... a fucking disappointment, to say the least.

Especially when Morgan and Clari were just drawn to each other and became best friends, and Morgan is 100% the first person Clari tells about Jed being her father because it's *kind of* important since Morgan is having her little half sibling(s)-- which simultaneously gives Morgan not only John as adopted stepson, but also Clari as bestie and stepdaughter (and we all know Clari would have that fucking Ikea crib either put together in minutes or in the garbage as soon as she looked at the directions-- depending on her mood)

Idk, I've been thinking about Clari and her biological family relationships lately cause while I've beaten her and Cas to death (absolutely a bad joke on my behalf here), I've never really poked far into the side she gains when she finds out about being half Price.

[airic-fenn]

Only If You Think I Am.

Sometimes I remember the temp employee at my old high school job who offered to buy me lunch since I forgot my wallet, and then asked immediately after we sat down if I was mixed. I mean, he was right, but it was a very uncomfortable first question to be asked by a complete stranger.

But it was also one of the many instances that gets me thinking about how weird it is to be mixed race and also racially ambiguous.

Whether or not I’m perceived as a person of color depends entirely upon who is doing the perceiving, and even when and where in the world they’re doing it. Am I in the southern US, or Colorado? Am I in Europe? Is it summertime and I’ve developed a tan, or is it the dead of winter?

Some people dont bat an eye, other people look at me curiously, knowing I am something but they’re just not quite sure what.

One curious man jumped to the proud assumption I must be Turkish, instead of letting me finish explaining that my mom was only born there because her dad was stationed there once.

In France at New Years, my penpal’s friend made a joke about slavery, then laughed and assumed that if I was offended, its because I’m White.

And all of my experiences like these leave me wondering, where do I put myself?

A friend once admitted to me that in middle school when we were covering slavery in class, he had watched me closely to see my reactions to it, because at the time I was just about the most diverse that school got.

The funny part is back then I was barely aware of being mixed race, other than that my Opa is Black. I was just me, and that was just how my family was.

I didn’t really have Black friends growing up (re: very un-diverse schools and neighborhood). Though, my mom would tell stories about how as a kid, she’d get teased and called an “oreo cookie” and blatant questions from her cousins like “what are you?” She’d mention how she would code switch with them, and try to act extra Black with them because otherwise she wasnt Black enough.

But she didn’t talk about race, or how any of it might apply to me. She stuck with the facts: I was mixed. And that was it.

And so I grew up with little understanding of what that meant until I reached high school. I was sheltered, oblivious, surrounded almost entirely by Whiteness and barely aware that people might, sometimes, treat me differently.

That temp worker back at that job of mine was the first time I had considered that people might.

But because I am caught in this limbo, I will never know for sure. Unless they say it out loud, I am left to wonder whether someone is just being angry and rude, or if they’re pulling a racism.

Generally, I give the benefit of the doubt. And why shouldn’t I, when I often barely know for sure how to perceive myself? I’m just me.

Race feels like a concept thrust upon me. Am I

☑️ White/Caucasian?

Or

☑️ Black/African American?

If I’m given the option, I’ll fill in “Other.” But I’m rarely given the option to fill in both.

The problem with being asked to respond with one or the other is that singularly neither feels right. I’d be lying.

I know a lot of mixed folks identify with being Black. I’m not sure I can no, I’m not sure I’m allowed to, even if I probably, maybe could. Because I get caught up in my own questions and fears of “am I Black enough?”

“What even makes someone Black?”

“Sure, the color of your skin, but its also a culture, its experiences.”

“But isnt it reductive to reduce a person’s identity down to whether they’ve been marginalized?”

“Even if I identified as Black, wouldnt that be perpetuating old racist concepts like the one drop rule?” (And if I think long and hard enough about that, I inevitably fall down the rabbit hole and start thinking about how if I couldn’t or wouldn’t consider myself indigenous despite my great-grandmother, why is it acceptable to identify as Black? Even though, technically, I understand the messed up history of why of both).

I’m never able to answer these questions.

But at the same time, identifying as White would feel like I’m rejecting an entire side of myself. Like I’m trying to hide my Opa.

So, I make myself stop thinking about it for a while, and settle back down on just being “mixed.” Its an answer no one can deny, or tell me that I’m wrong.

And as a result, I find myself approaching prying questions or opportunities reserved for BIPOC folks with varying levels of confidence.

“Do you identify as Black, Indigenous, or other Person of Color?”

Yes. Sometimes. Maybe?

Only if you think I am.

[grandfatherissues]

repost from my sideblog but needed it in the tags here:

since i had a lot of people approach me about that partner call i put out, i thought i would compile a list of plot ideas i have just to make things easier. please keep in mind that this list will contain dark, tcboo, and problematic content so read at your own risk. if you could message me if you're interested that would be appreciated as i'm on mobile 99% of the time and i'm a sideblog so tumblr likes to dick around.

001. an esteemed hollywood movie director casting a disney actor / former beloved child star in a controversial and exploitative role. probably takes advantage of her excitement to work with him and/or her eagerness to shed her good-girl image and not only moulds her into his dirty on-screen fantasy, but very likely becomes obsessed with her off-screen in the process. an age gap + power difference would be preferred.

002. a cult leader teaching his daughter / sister / granddaughter / niece / new young wife what a good and obedient follower of their cause is expected to behave, dress, and speak like.

003. a prolific and hardened criminal / gang member developing a fixation for someone who isn't interested in him / his lifestyle. cue him stalking her, threatening her and her loved ones, blackmailing her, all the fun stuff until she either gives in willingly, or he just decides to take her and keep her anyway.

004. an obscenely rich man and his mail order bride / trophy bride and their life in the domestic suburbia he's carefully chosen for them. a big age gap, power differences, + some bimbofication would be preferred.

005. a family dynamic (father x daughter, brother x sister, cousins, uncle x niece, grandfather x granddaughter, etc) where they only have each other left and try to take care of each other in the best way they know how. but along the way, their relationship becomes highly co-dependent and close, and they end up developing feelings and tension they never expected.

006. a gross old trucker picking up a runaway / traveller and agreeing to take her where she needs to go, but then pulling over somewhere dark and isolated because of course he requires some sort of payment for his service.

007. a science fiction / fantasy plot where humans are enslaved by monsters or a supernatural creatures. the humans are assigned as toys for the monsters / creatures fun and pleasure, or maybe even to be bred if you want to explore that. but basically a plot where a highly virile monster / supernatural creature gets their long-awaited assigned human pet / partner / bride.

008. a hardcore adult content creator and the young amateur just looking to make a quick buck making a video together. ideally it would include rough / dark kinks but it can be something they both enjoy and continue doing, or it can be something she's really not into but keeps coming back because his audience like her and he offers her more and more money to perform.

009. a much older man (ideally at least 50+) finally deciding he wants to be a dad so going after a much younger woman to make his wishes come true. a huge age gap, daddy kink, and breeding/pregnancy would be preferred.

010. brothers / twins going after the same girl and either making it a competition who can get her first, or maybe they end up playing fair and having her at the same time instead. if they're twins, maybe one of them starts fucking / dating her but the other twin also gets to have his fun by pretending to be the other, and it's a big old fucking mess but...they end up lowkey working as a trio? idk.

011. a young woman who's curious and needy falling for / being seduced by her best friend's dad. him being all supportive and sweet to her, always offering her to stay, giving her rides home, treating her like his own daughter. but then the immediate perking up whenever she's around, the way his stare lingers too long when she's hanging out at their pool, the way he finds excuses to be around her when she's staying over for the night. can instead be a dad's best friend plot if that's preferred.

012. an only child finding out his father had a love child many years ago which was the cause of his parents divorce. and now she's around and in their lives and he resents his new sister for his mother being hurt by his father cheating and their lives being disrupted by the divorce, but he also lowkey develops an attraction to her and begins a fixation that may or may not get pushed too far.

013. a guy fathered a child when he was very young himself (early to mid teens) and wasn't given contact by the mother / went to jail / the kid ended up being adopted, and now it's 18+ years later and he's finally reunited with the child he's always wondered about. but because of the smallish age gap between them in comparison to other parents and their children, and also because they're pretty much strangers getting to know each other for the first time, their dynamic leans more towards being friendly and fun at the start, and eventually develops into something romantic / sexual as they begin to spend more time together and get all their overwhelming and conflicting feelings / urges mixed up.

[elizabeth-karenina]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I wasn’t tagged for this, but I saw it on a mutual’s blog and thought it would be fun to do. I haven’t done one of these in a while, so why not? 

1. Are you named after anyone? 

I was named after a great-grandmother as well as my paternal grandmother—Dorothy Elizabeth (my great-grandmother) and Jeannette (my grandmother). I adore my grandmother, so I’ve always been honored to share a name with her. I never knew my great-grandmother, who died tragically young, and I’ve always been a little sad that I never knew her. 

2. When was the last time you cried? 

About a week ago or so. Look, I cry all the time nowadays, so I can’t even accurately tell you. It’s not even a bad thing, mind you. I cry at cute things as well as sad things; at this point, if I’m feeling the emotion, I just let it take over! 

3. Do you have kids? 

I don’t. I wouldn’t mind having one or two, maybe three, someday with a committed partner. But I am definitely not having children for the sake of having them. If I’m going to be a mother, then I’m doing it because I’m ready. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? 

It depends on the situation. I tend to only do so with my nearest and dearest, and in a humorous sense. I’m of the opinion that sarcasm has a time and place, because depending on the situation, sarcasm can be very rude. 

5. What sports do you play/have played? 

I used to play sports a lot when I was a kid. I used to play kickball and baseball with my cousins and my friends in my neighborhood all the time. And I played on a local soccer team with a bunch of school friends when I was 9. I even went to a basketball camp at my dad’s recreation center when I was 10. 

I didn’t keep up with any of this as I got older, mind you LMAO! I’m just not as athletic as other people. But I do love watching sporting events, especially the World Cup. 

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? 

Their faces, especially their eyes and their smiles. 

7. What's your eye color? 

Dark brown, like polished mahogany or melted chocolate. 

8. Scary movies or happy endings? 

Happy endings, for sure! As much as I love a good spooky story, I appreciate and care about happy endings more. 

9. Any special talents?

I can sing well enough, at least among my friends and my family. I tell stories really well; I do everyone’s voices and everything. I’m pretty good at cheering people up and knowing what to say in any given moment. I’m also pretty good at baking, especially cookies and cakes. 

10. Where were you born? 

In America, in Maryland to be exact. 

11. What are your hobbies?

I’ve gotten back into reading lately, which is wonderful, because I think reading is probably my favorite thing to do. Usually I like reading about history, but I’ve also decided to step out of that and try to read some book series this summer. I’ve been learning French on Duolingo for about 3 years now, and one day I’d like to learn Spanish, Russian, Greek, and Mandarin one day too. I like listening to music and podcasts on the weekends, and when I can plan it, I also like going to the movies and go shopping afterwards. 

12. Do you have pets? 

For about 13 years, I had a Latsah-Otsah/Maltese dog named Ringo. Unfortunately, he died last year and it was a hard thing to go through. I would love to have another pet, but I live with my family, so if we do decide to get one we’d ALL have to agree upon it. And right now, my family doesn’t feel like it’s ready for anything else, so SADLY I am petless. :(

13. How tall are you? 

I am five feet tall! I’m literally a hobbit. 

14. Favorite subject in school? 

English lit, world history, my Spanish classes, and my chorus class. 

15. Dream job? 

So many! I wished I had kept up with my music lessons, because I wish I could be in an orchestra or a choir. I used to want to be a radio DJ, too, but that dream fizzled out real quick lmao! 

Here’s who I would like to tag: @1980s-jean-ralphio, @miumiumacaron, @stcndupeight, @nellygwyn, @magalis, @roamwithahungryheart, @pocketwish, @octoberinflorence, @grand-duchessa, @midnightinjapan, @wifeofbath, @spicytchai90, @stray-kaz

[hjellacott]

"Woke" Culture is the "You can't have a flaw" Culture. That's why Cancel Culture it's intrinsic to Woke.

Look at anything through a magnifying glass, you'll find a flaw. Look at your parents. Your friends. Your grandparents. Your house. Your culture. Your society. Your teachers. Your priest. The more you expose yourself to them, the more they expose themselves to you, the more attention you pay, the more attentively you look, you'll find a flaw. A friend will, probably unintentionally, say something that if you think in-depth about it, sounds "kinda" racist. A parent will comment something that maybe in the beginning you won't think much about it, but later, it "kinda" sounds homophobic. A grandparent might say something rather misogynistic. What they say will depend on their education, their culture, their times. Of course, the majority of the time, they don't intend to cause any hurt or offence to anyone and, if you point out what they've said could be misinterpreted or considered wrong, they'll probably hurry to say that was never their intention. That they're not racist, homophobic, sexist. And they're probably saying the truth.

People say the things they say because they've grown up feeling free to speak their mind (one of the Human Rights is freedom of speech, thought and religion, so this is a good thing), and at least in the case of good people, they never say the things they say with an aim to cause offence. That's why forgiveness and understanding are key to relationships. For example, my grandfather was a Catholic conservative. He lived WWI, WWII, and our civil war. He was nearly a hundred years my senior while I was a teenager. Of course he was from another time. I knew his heart, though. I knew that in his heart he was a good, kind, hardworking man. You might've argued that I was biased, but truth is, you should really look at somebody's actions more than at their words. So even though conservative speech, sometimes somewhat homophobic, racist or sexist, would come out of his mouth now and then, the reality was that all he was parroting were the society's beliefs of the world in which he lived the last time he had an active social life, at least fifty years before. So I looked at his actions. Was Grandpa actually racist? Well, the woman we hired to help him around the home when he was 90 was POC, and he was so lovely to her. He also behaved kindly, in general, to everyone in every interaction. He never had a truly demeaning thing to say about a POC person (indeed, all the racism that ever came out of his mouth was rather vague). So I concluded he wasn't. Was he homophobic? Well, he did consider gays to have some problem, as it was the belief when he was young, but he treated my gay cousin with nothing but respect. So I considered he wasn't. Saying what your society said, what you were educated to believe, wasn't homophobic, so long as you didn't act on those thoughts. Was he sexist, then? He did believe men were the natural breadwinners, and women had to look after the home, but he had three granddaughters, myself included, and a daughter, and not a day went by that he didn't encourage us to study, to be independent, to have jobs, to choose and build whatever life we wanted for ourselves. There wasn't an ounce of sexism, indeed, in the way he treated and behaved with women.

I often witnessed my Grandpa having somewhat heated arguments about politics. My dad was a liberal left-winger, and he was the first in the family, so of course fights were due to happen. But I never saw Grandpa insult my dad, criticise him as a person, say a bad word about him, or put a hand on him. They would row about politics, but they loved each other to bits. That told me pretty much everything I had to know about my Grandpa: That conservative words would logically come out of his mouth, but he would always act respectfully, even lovingly, with everyone, no matter their colour, their sexual orientation, their sex, their class... Not only that, but he would show remorse and sorrow if someone got offended about something he said. He might've been too stubborn to apologise each time, but he was a very expressive man, and you could tell.

People from my generation often had this type of grandparent, or of parent. We often got shocked about something that was said from someone we knew to be kind and loving. And so we had no choice but to learn to understand, to see why someone said something, where it came from, and filter it through everything we knew about the person. That's how I for example knew not to take certain words from my Grandpa seriously, because his actions never reflected them. If he was kind to everyone, if I could bring any friend over and he'd be so sweet with them (as my few classmates who came to family lunches at his place would often tell me), that was all that mattered. Back then, that was all that mattered to any of us. Actions, not words.

We were great at knowing somebody's heart and using it to filter whatever they said, what they meant, why they'd said it. And we were great at evaluating whether the benefits outweighed the problems. For example, back when I was a teenager, Friends was VERY popular. It still is, but back then it was legendary, everyone watched Friends. If you look at it with the lens of today, through a magnifying glass, however, it will happen like what happens when looking at my Grandpa through a magnifying glass, and specially when things are taken out of context. You suddenly think, hang on, that is a bit racist!

We noticed those things already back in the 90s and early 2000s, you're not the first. The thing is that we experienced things in the proper context. Friends reflected our society of the time to a T. Nothing about it was extraordinary. You saw the same things out in the street than you did watching Friends or Sex in the City. And an amazing phaenomenon happened. Firstly, if you were a bit young (for example, I lived the end of Friends, but the beginning caught me long after it'd been filmed), for some bits or all of the bits, what you saw helped understand why people older than you in your life said and did certain things. Indeed, when I saw the kind of things my Grandpa must've seen when he was in his 20s, everything he said made total sense.

The more you understand how the world was before you, the better you understand how people that came before you and with whom you disagree are not necessarily evil, or less lefty, or less kind and thoughtful, but from a different culture. That's about the time when you understand conservativism doesn't mean wrong, just different.

Secondly, if you were living the exact times being depicted, or the year difference was small, all you saw were the benefits. I don't watch shows like Friends to become an illustrated. I watch it to laugh. To disconnect from a bad day. To be enamoured by the friendships and relationships depicted. And even if the occasional racist, homophobic or sexist comment comes out, I ignore it in favour of looking at the actions. For example, you have the character of Ross, who perhaps was the most likely to say what today would've been considered wrong. Most likely to be Cancelled, let's say. Well, you might've disliked him for what he said, but if you looked at what he did, he was a man who deeply respected and cared about his ex-wife even though she left him for a woman. He fell in love with a black woman. He treated women so, so lovingly. He treated all of his friends like family. And he was always willing to come around and admit he'd messed up and apologise. That mattered more than the occasional crap that came out of the mouth of a man in his twenties. We've all been in our twenties. A lot of stupid shit is said in your twenties, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

The difference between back then and now is that back then, we all knew nobody was perfect, and nobody pretended to be or demanded others were perfect. We looked at people's actions as a definitive judge of character, not words. We respected and forgave. We educated respectfully and patiently. But now, everything is considered so serious. Now, any joke can be very deeply offensive. Now, everything needs to be perfect from the get go.

These days we only seem to look at words, not at actions. You say the wrong thing once and you're Cancelled, doesn't matter what your actions are, what your kind gestures are, or that is the first time in your life you've made a mistake. You're not forgiven. You can never take it back. You can never fix it. You can never learn.

We live in a flawed world that Cancels mistakes and errors and doesn't give room for forgiveness, for reconciliation, for improvement. We live in a world where words mean more than actions, leading to phaenomenons such as Performative Activism. And words are also regularly decontextualised and twisted to cause offense and outrage. We always need to know what NOT to say. We have to be perfect all the time or Kill Ourselves. To be born knowing all the right things and all the wrong things, to see the world constantly and exhaustingly through a magnifying glass, to have 0 Tolerance for anything out of the "Right", and strict ideas about what's right and what's wrong.

But what if the world is not right and wrong? what if there isn't black and white? What if we remember that we're all flawed, and become more tolerant, more compassionate, more about leading with actions, not words, about educating, not punishing, about gentle teaching, and less hitting with a cane? Then we'd return to what we loved most about back then. In the meantime, we'll continue to live in a world where you can never be sure somebody means what they say, where people's actions are ignored and only their words are believed, because nobody can speak freely, and so they repress, they tell you what you want to hear, and they hide their truth until it explodes.