#couls still be a count to something though

[atlaskrr]

So the fandom has some general ideas now that I've compiled as well as stuff I've found. It could be an important date just not written in a conventional way because if we do that way.

It doesn't work with the chinese format or dd/mm/yy format. if its the mm/dd/yy format what significance does the day Tuesday, September 13, 2005 have? (myb lg’s a secret supernatural fan cause that’s its air date) Unless it turns out to be September 1305. Nicholas van Tolentino, Italian saint, died that month but idk if that matters. It’s probably something else though.

If it is a date it's most likely in a more odd formatting, maybe including an hour. Also based on cxs' reaction he could know what this number means so it might be a significant date to then both.

Another idea is that it's some world scramble, chinese hanzhi coded message. Here are some I saw in the discord server

Yeah this is pretty self explanatory. Lg alternate timeline theory trying tosacrifice himself through time travel OR cxs always making the travel, the dives, and sacrificing himself in the process.

This one has overseer and hat. You know who seems to always oversee/observe everything in official art and wears a hat... HAT GUY.

This one is just sad. I don't need to explain it any more.

Take this as as a bonus cause I find it silly.

WHAT DOES LG'S PHONE PASSWORD MEAN? It feels like a date to me. Imagine if it's the date they met lmao. It's the way lg planned this which means HE KNOWS cxs knows his password but like- doesn't do anything abt it?

[imaginedisish]

Everlong (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)

A/N: This was not a request, just a thought I had and had to get out. "Everlong" by Foo Fighters just scratches my brain in a way very few songs can, and it fits perfectly for this fic. Hope you guys enjoy.

Summary: Logan offers you his bed as a friend, knowing how hard it is for you to fall asleep alone. But after months of sleeping next to him platonically, things finally take a turn...

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT! Thigh riding, Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), Cockwarming, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint), cocky!Logan, softdom!Logan, non-sexual intimacy to sexual intimacy, friends to lovers, man-handling, rough sex, afab!reader/f!reader, feelings, fluff, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it.

Word Count: 4,619 jeeeeeeezzzzz this is DEPRAVED

Sleep was hard—that is, until you started sleeping in Logan’s bed. 

It had all started out so innocent. You were sitting on a couch in the study, flicking through the pages of your favorite book. You had just finished your fourth lap around the grounds of the mansion, and you decided you needed a break. The clock on the wall read 2:22 AM, mocking you, reminding you that of all the gifts you have, sleeping would never be one of them. 

“What’re you doing awake?” You jumped at the voice breaking up the silence, but quickly recognized its bassy, deep tone. You turned to face Logan in the doorway. 

“Just can’t sleep,” you answered, shrugging your shoulders. He wore a beater and gray sweatpants, and you struggled against the urge to trail your eyes up and down his body. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want him—you’ve wanted him for months. 

Logan crossed his arms against his chest and smiled softly. “Can’t sleep either,” he said, taking a step closer. “You can come up to my room, if you want” he offered. “Next time you can’t sleep, or you have a nightmare, or you just can’t think of anything to do, come find me.”

You smiled at his words, at his kindness, at his willingness to help you. “Thank you, Logan,” you whispered. 

“No problem, princess.” And then he turned to leave, walking back through the hallway and up the stairs to his room. 

You’re still not sure what came over you in those following moments—still don’t understand where your confidence came from—but you forced yourself up from the couch and down the hall, following Logan’s path to his room. 

He was already inside, already had the door closed, so you knocked. And the door immediately swung open. You swallowed, parting your lips nervously. “Lo, do you think I could take you up—”

But he didn’t even let you finish. He grabbed your arm and tugged you into the darkness of his room, navigating you carefully to his bed. He laid you down and walked to the other side, climbing in next to you. He brought the covers over your bodies, shuffling under the sheets, settling in, and then everything was silent. 

You tried to get comfortable. You rolled onto your stomach and waited, eyes shut tight, hoping that sleep would take you under its current. But it didn’t. You rolled back onto your side, away from Logan, opening and closing your eyes frustratedly.

“You okay?” He asked. You could hear Logan inching towards you, his front suddenly pressing against your back. 

You hummed in affirmation, leaning your back into him. He reached a tentative arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest. “Is this okay?” He husked, his lips at the shell of your ear. 

“Yeah,” you panted into the darkness of his room, taking shallow breaths, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. You could smell him everywhere—on the sheets, the pillowcase, in the air of the room. It was all leather and musk and pine and denim. And there he was, holding you, his thumb drawing soft circles into your slightly exposed midriff. Something about it was overwhelming, but also comforting, as though all your senses were being cradled by him.

He could hear your heart beating, could hear your breath catching in your throat. “Relax,” he whispered. “I’ve got you. Go to sleep.” Your eyes fluttered closed, and you focused on Logan’s breathing. It was constant, stable, steadfast. He was so warm, so solid. And soon enough, you found yourself giving in to sleep. 

You woke up a few hours later, the pale light of the moon still pushing through the curtains. Logan’s legs were tangled with yours, your face pressed into the center of his chest, his arm wrapped around your back, holding you tight. You tried to lift your head to read the clock behind you on the nightstand.

But Logan pulled you back down. “Go back to sleep,” he murmured against the crown of your head. “Too early.” 

That’s how most nights have been since then—climbing into his bed, completely innocently, just to be able to sleep. He holds you all night, keeping you close. And when the sun finally rises, you both get up and head down to the kitchen, watching as Logan brews you a pot of coffee. 

It’s shockingly domestic and incredibly intimate. And yet, the two of you have never talked about it. It’s a silent agreement, one based on pattern, convention, and repetition. These very events have played out more times than you can count—for months now. It has become so normalized that you don’t question it, don’t even think about it when you crawl into his bed, and he pulls you into his chest. 

So, tonight starts out like any other. Your feet pad along the dark, mahogany wood floors, down the dim, quiet hallway, towards Logan’s room. You’re only wearing a pair of panties and one of Logan’s old t-shirts, the hem falling to the middle of your thighs. 

You stand in front of his door and knock. You aren’t nervous anymore—aren’t anxious as he opens the door. He’s already shirtless, wearing just his boxers—which, however, is something you will never get used to. He smiles, his eyes trailing up and down your body as he steps to the side, inviting you in. 

You know the drill by now—you walk to your side of the bed, lying down and pulling the covers up to your chin. Logan follows suit. You move in silence, but it’s a comfortable silence. It’s a silence shared by two people who don’t have to say a word, don’t have to communicate to feel connection. His arms wrap around your body, and he tugs you into his chest. 

“Didn’t see you today,” he mumbles, his lips brushing your forehead. “Wish I could’ve.” His fingertips graze up and down your back, your t-shirt hitching up as you get comfortable, revealing your bare legs. 

“I’m here now,” you whisper, pressing your face into the crook of his neck, smelling him, letting him overtake your senses. He tangles your legs with his.

“Is this my shirt, by the way?” he asks, his hands sliding down to the hem, which is now bunched up above the waistband of your panties. 

You smile into his neck. “Maybe,” you answer, giggling softly. 

His fingertips slip just under the t-shirt, tentative and hesitant, waiting for you to push him away, to tell him no. But you don’t. “Looks better on you than it does on me,” he husks, his thigh settling between your legs so that you’re straddling it. 

“Th-thanks,” you stutter, trying to ignore the way he bumps against your core, the way his words make your heart race. You shut your eyes and wrap your arms around his center, letting him engulf you in his warmth. You swallow your feelings down and close your eyes. “Night, Lo,” you mutter.  

“Night, princess,” he says, his lips against the crown of your head. 

You listen carefully to his breathing, like you always do, and after a few moments, you find yourself falling asleep.

When you wake up a few hours later, your back is against Logan’s front. His arm keeps you pressed tightly to his chest, his nose nudging against the crook of your neck—you can feel his breath, warm on your skin. Your legs are intertwined, his knee just inches away from your core. 

Logan moves in his sleep, his knee bumping against your core now, his nose nuzzling into your neck, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin just under your ear. You take a deep breath, pleasure pulsing between your thighs as Logan moves again, his thigh dragging against you. You can’t help the moan that falls from your lips. 

He moves again, and that’s when you feel it—his erection stiff against the curve of your ass. Heat spreads across your chest, up to your neck, your stomach somersaulting as his hips press harder into your ass.

“L-Lo,” you stutter into the darkness of his room. But he doesn’t answer. His thigh slides against your core again. You can feel the wetness pooling between your legs, soaking your panties. “Logan,” you choke, moaning louder this time.  

He hums in response, nuzzling his nose deeper into your neck, his lips pressing against your skin—the ghost of a kiss. It’s too much—you want to grind down on his thigh, want to feel his cock pressing against your ass, want to feel his hips rutting against yours. You thought maybe this would happen, hoped that one night would lead to something like this, but you never dreamed it would actually come to pass. 

Logan’s thigh rubs against your heat again, and you mumble his name, your breathing quickening. “Fuck,” you groan, involuntarily bucking your hips against Logan’s. His erection drags along your ass. 

You force yourself to be still as Logan grunts into your neck. “You awake, pretty girl?” He whispers against your ear. 

“Mhm,” you murmur, trying to play half-asleep. You don’t want to let on that you can feel him hard against you, and you pray you aren’t soaking through your panties and onto his thigh. 

You swear you can hear him mumble a soft fuck under his breath. Your thoughts race around your head. Maybe he was awake the whole time. Maybe he felt your hips roll against him. Maybe he can smell the arousal growing between your thighs. You know he can hear your heart hammering against your ribcage. 

But his arm tightens its grip around your waist, and he pulls you closer, holding you down against his thigh. “What were you doing, sweetheart?” He rasps, pressing a true, open-mouthed kiss to your neck. You gasp, a shiver running down your spine. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” You stutter, stumbling around your words as he kisses your neck again, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin just under your ear. 

He moves his knee, pressing harder into your core, dragging his thigh against your aching heat. You stifle a moan as he repeats the motion. “Felt you riding me, pretty girl,” he huffs, his hands gripping your waist, guiding your hips along his thigh. “Smelt you, too,” he whispers, his lips still at your neck. “Can feel that pretty, wet pussy dripping on me, darlin’.”

“Logan,” you whine, letting him move your hips back and forth. The pressure feels so good. You need more. “Please…” You trail off, grinding down onto him. 

“Making a fucking mess of me, aren’t you?” He teases, his fingers gripping your hips like iron, so tight he might bruise. “Love watching you get off on me.” His voice is dark and honeyed, smooth like expensive liquor. Your walls clench around nothing as your clit drags along Logan’s thigh and you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “So sensitive, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you pant, letting him pull you back and forth. You’ll take anything you can get—anything he’s willing to give to you. “D-don’t stop,” you beg. 

“Fuck,” Logan grunts. “Need me that bad, huh?”

“Y-you have no idea,” you stammer. He bites your pulse point as one of his hands wraps around your front, slipping inside your panties and finding your clit. “Oh fuck, Lo,” you whine, the pads of his fingers drawing tight, rapid circles around the bud. 

“That feels good, pretty girl?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you, and he’s getting off on it. You can feel his erection hard against your ass every time his hips buck into yours. “Bet it does, the way you’re soaking my thigh.”

“So fucking good,” you whimper. But you know you need more. You need him. “Logan, please…” You trail off, the words escaping you as pleasure pulses through your body. 

“Please what, darlin’?” He teases, his fingers pulling out of your panties, his hands gripping your hips again, rolling you against his thigh. It’s not enough, and you groan at the loss of contact. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

“N-need more,” you croak, dragging yourself along him. 

“More what, beautiful?” But you know he knows. You know he wants to hear you beg for it, wants to hear you beg for him. 

“More of you,” you choke out.

“Yeah?” He chides, slowing the roll of your hips with his iron grip. “More of me how?” He’s so goddamn cocky, so unfair. 

“I-I…” your eyes roll back into your head as he slowly, teasingly drags you up his thigh, pulling you against his erection and holding you there. “However you want me,” you whisper, pushing against his cock. “Just want you.”

He suddenly pulls away, his grip on your hips forcing you into the mattress as he rolls on top of you, caging you in, his hands on either side of your head. 

Logan’s lips crash down onto yours, swallowing you hungrily, his teeth grazing your lower lip and licking away the pain. You part your lips, inviting him inside, tasting his tongue against yours. He slides a hand down your body, stopping at the hem of your shirt and yanking it up. He breaks the kiss to slip the shirt up and over your head, tossing it to the floor. He sits up on his knees, his eyes trailing your body, settling on your bare breasts. 

“So fucking beautiful,” Logan praises, lowering down over you, balancing on his forearm as his free hand glides up your side and to your breasts. He palms your flesh, rolling his thumb over your pebbled nipple, pinching lightly. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” He traces across the valley of your breasts, his hand massaging the other side. 

He grinds his hips into yours, his erection nudging against your core. “Wanted you so bad, pretty girl,” he pants, pressing another kiss to your lips. His fingertips drag down your body, gripping your hip tightly again. “Dreamed of fucking you, of tasting you.” He buries his face into the crook of your neck as he pushes you into the mattress, biting down on your pulse point. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.”

You moan as he sucks at your sensitive skin. “Want you, Lo. Need you,” you whine, your arms wrapping around his back, nails digging into his skin. “Always wanted you.”

He kisses a trail down your neck, to your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts. He slides down your body, peppering light kisses across your stomach, stopping at the hem of your panties. He looks up at you, his face illuminated by the pale, blue moonlight. You can see the desperation in his eyes, the need. He licks his lips—a man starved—as his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties. 

He tugs them down your legs, throwing them to the floor, and settles between your thighs. His face is just inches from your aching heat. Your chest heaves as he brings himself closer, his breath fanning across your cunt. You look down at him and find him staring up at you, watching your every move. 

“Wanna know what you taste like, darlin’,” he huffs, his palms splaying on your inner thighs, spreading your legs wide open for him. “Want me to make you feel good?” His nails dig into the flesh of your thighs possessively. 

“Y-yes,” you stammer, already arching your back off the mattress. “Please, Logan.”

He smiles, his eyes still trained on yours as his tongue swipes through your folds, long and slow, all the way up to your clit. “Fuck,” he mumbles against your core, flicking your clit, lapping at it twice before starting all over again. He licks another teasing stripe through your folds, landing on your clit and taking the bud between his lips this time. He sucks roughly, releasing your clit and swirling soothing circles around it. “You taste so perfect. Better than I ever imagined.” 

He laves at you, devouring you, his head buried against your cunt. His right hand climbs up your inner thigh, nearing your folds as his teeth graze your clit. Your hips jolt back at the sudden feeling, and Logan is quick to slide his left hand under your thigh. He grips tightly, yanking you back to him, and pressing his face deeper into your cunt. “Don’t even think about it, pretty girl. You’re not going anywhere until I’m finished with you.” 

You moan at his words, his right hand finally working its way up to your folds. His fingertips find your entrance, spreading your slick. “So fucking wet for me,” he murmurs, prodding your slit. “Want my fingers, darlin’?”

“Yes, Lo, please. Want all of—” He thrusts two long, thick fingers deep inside you, down to his knuckles. “Oh, fuck,” you cry out as he pulls out and slams back in. 

His tongue swirls around your clit, his teeth grazing the bud every time he takes it between his lips to suck. It’s overwhelming, overstimulating, the way he laps at you, drinking you in, consuming you. If he could find a way to keep your taste on his tongue all day, he would. If he could slip under your skin to be one with you, to feel your warmth, he would. You know this isn’t want. This isn’t lust. This isn’t some one-off thing. This is need. This is longing. 

Your eyes roll back into your head as he breathes you in, his tongue working at your clit as his fingers thrust in and out, dragging along your walls, scissoring inside you. “Doing so good for me, sweetheart,” Logan praises, and you clench down around him at the words. He smiles against your cunt. “You like that, don’t you? Like when I tell you just how good of a girl you are.” 

Your walls flutter around him again. “I-I do,” you admit, your voice shaky as he fucks into you, hitting that sweet spot inside you with every pump of his fingers. 

Logan chuckles darkly, the reverberation pulsing against your clit. “That’s my good girl, giving me what I’ve been waiting for,” he huffs, lapping at you, sucking on your clit like it’s candy. “Would’ve waited forever for you.”

Your muscles contract and release at his words, at the intimate confession. “Would’ve waited forever for y-you too,” you whimper, his fingers still working you open. You’re so close. Fire burns at the base of your spine, your walls clenching around Logan’s fingers again as his tongue draws tight, rapid circles into your bud. 

“No more waiting, beautiful,” Logan grunts, and you know what he means—he knows you’re close. “Wanna feel you come around my fingers, wanna taste it.” It isn’t a request; it’s a command. His fingers plunge deeper, his tongue laving at your clit roughly between sentences. “Know you’re ready to let go, sweetheart. Don’t hold back. Come for me.”

You’re crashing down, falling, but not into nothingness—into Logan, into his warmth, into his touch. Your chest heaves and the room spins. Heat pours from deep at the bottom of your belly, fire spreading up your spine. Nothing has ever felt like this. His name is the only thing you can think, the only thing you can say: Logan Logan Logan Logan. 

His pumps slow down, his fingers dragging gently along your inner walls until he stills inside you and carefully pulls out. His tongue is still lapping at you, still working your overstimulated clit. 

“Logan,” you whine, your hands finding his head, digging your nails into his scalp. “Want you.”

He smirks against you, knowing full well what he’s doing. “You have me, darlin’.”

You groan, half in frustration, half in pleasure—the tension building back up between your thighs with every flit of Logan’s tongue. “Please,” you beg, tugging on Logan’s hair. He grunts at the feeling, smiling against your cunt again. “I want you, Logan.”

“Gotta be more specific, pretty girl,” he huffs, his face finally separating from your cunt. Your release glistens on his chin, his lower lip. He brings his fingers to his mouth as he waits, wrapping his lips around his fingers and sucking, savoring the taste of you. 

“Want you inside me…” You trail off, watching as his fingers pop out of his mouth, his tongue darting out along his lower lip, rationing every drop of you he can find. “Want your cock,” you finally choke out.

The corner of Logan’s mouth turns up, his fingers hooking into his boxers and tugging them down. “Wanna fuck you so bad, beautiful,” he grunts, his cock springing free, bouncing against his stomach. He’s so much bigger than you had anticipated. You swallow nervously as he lowers himself down over you, resting on his forearm. “Thought about this for so long.”

His hand wraps around the base of his cock, guiding himself to your folds. He swipes through you, spreading your slick, notching against your clit. You moan at the contact, your chest coming flush with Logan’s as your back arches off the mattress. “Logan, please,” you beg. “Just want you. Only ever gonna—”

He plunges deep inside you, down to the hilt with one thrust. You’ve never felt so full—his cock thick and long, splitting you open. His presses a kiss to your lips, swallowing your moans as his tongue darts out, tangling with yours. He’s still inside you, stretching you out, allowing you to adjust to the size of him. “You okay, pretty girl?” He asks as his lips part from yours.

“Y-yes,” you stammer, your arms wrapping around his back. “Feels good. So big.”

Logan pulls out and thrusts back in, splitting you open again. “Fuck,” he groans, his forehead resting against yours. “So fucking perfect. So tight, so warm. Made for me, darlin’.” Your eyes flutter open and closed as his free hand slips between your bodies, quickly finding your clit. 

“Lo,” you whine as his fingers draw tight, rapid circles into the bud. He sets his pace, pumping in and out of your cunt with reckless abandon. His hips rock against yours, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing along the walls of the room. 

“Knew you’d feel like this,” Logan soothes, flicking your clit as he fucks into you. “Knew you’d feel this good. Wanna be inside you forever, princess.”

His lips find yours again, his teeth tugging on your lower lip and then sucking the pain away. It’s rushed and frantic, like he’s dying for more, searching for a way to reach deeper inside you, to feel all of you at once. 

He ruts into you, his hips snapping, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you with every thrust. He pinches your clit roughly, and your back arches off the mattress, your chest pressing against his. 

“No idea how much I wanted you…” You trail off as his cock pounds into you. He’s still stretching you out, still working you open. 

Logan moans your name, his cock throbbing at your words. “Wanted to fuck you that first night you came in here,” he whispers at the shell of your ear. “Wanted you before that too. Knew I needed you the second I saw you.”

The confession rocks through you. You think of all those nights spent next to Logan, all those stolen moments. He wanted you—needed you the whole time. 

“Lo,” you hiccup, his fingertips swirling your clit, his hips rocking against yours. He sinks deep inside, again and again, pumping in and out. Your walls flutter around his cock, dragging him in deeper. 

“Fuck, pretty girl,” he groans, sliding out and plunging back in. “Squeezing me so good, taking me so well.”

Tears brim in the corners of your eyes at the pure pleasure drumming through your bones. You know you’re close, know you’re almost unraveling underneath him. Logan flicks your clit, drawing hard, rough strokes around the bud. You’re on fire, and you’re burning for him. 

“Logan I-I…” You stumble around your words, unable to form a coherent sentence as he pounds into you. Your walls flutter around him again, and his cock twitches inside you at the feeling. 

He groans, your name on his tongue like a prayer. “I know you’re close, pretty girl.” He throbs inside you, and you know he’s almost there too. “Wanna make you come again,” he grunts, pulling out and pumping back in. “Know you have another one in you, sweetheart.”

He’s right. You can’t hold on much longer, but you want this moment to last. You want to feel his cock dragging along your walls, filling you up, splitting you open. You want his chest flush against yours. You want to feel the way he bites your lip and sucks away the sting he leaves behind. You want it all—all of him—and you don’t just want it right now. You don’t want this to be a fleeting moment. You want it to be forever. 

“Come on, beautiful,” Logan pants, his pace faltering, his hips stuttering. He twitches inside you again. “Fuck, you feel so good.” He strokes your clit, drawing those quick circles into the bud. “Let go for me. Know you want to,” he breathes, his forehead resting against yours. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

His words overwhelm you, and you let go. It’s all more forceful this time, more powerful, your body trembling, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as wave after wave of pleasure tears through your body. It feels like blinding, searing heat, spreading like a forest fire. 

Logan is right behind you, moaning your name, his cock throbbing against your walls. “Gonna fill you up, pretty girl,” he husks, his chest heaving. You whisper a soft, pleading yes. “Fuck, gonna make you mine,” he moans. His cock throbs again, and then he’s spilling inside you, filling you with his release. 

His fingers rub gentle strokes into your clit, his cock slowly pumping in and out before stilling inside you. His fingers slip away from your clit, his hand traveling up your body, and rolling you over so that you’re side by side, facing each other. He pulls you into his chest, his cock still deep inside you. 

Logan’s arms wrap around your back, caressing your bare skin, tracing patterns and shapes with his fingertips. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head as you bury your face into his chest. 

“Wanna stay inside you,” he mumbles against your hair. “Wanna keep you close.”

“You can,” you whisper, your heart hammering. “Wanna stay close, too.” 

He presses another kiss to your head. “I’m not going anywhere,” Logan soothes, his fingers running up and down your spine. “Gonna want you forever.” 

You lift your head to look up at him, his eyes immediately meeting yours. “Forever?” You ask, but you know it’s a dumb question. You know he’s telling the truth.

He smiles and nods. “Would’ve waited for you forever,” he says, pausing, his throat bobbing as he swallows. “Never felt this way before, pretty girl. Never felt this real, this perfect. Don’t wanna let you go.”

“Don’t,” you whisper into the darkness of his room. “Please.”

“I won’t,” he coos, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I won’t.”

His breathing steadies, and you listen to him like you do every night. Your eyes flutter shut, and you drift off to sleep with Logan’s cock deep inside you.

Forever. You think as your mind goes quiet and sleep drags you under. Forever. 

Everlong.   

tags: @ricefordays-blog1 @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @alsoprettyinpink @figsnpassionfruits @spiderset @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @starrdustss @wittyjasontodd @pedrohoe04 @fanfic-writing-barbie @evasmlp @derbygracie @cosmiccandydreamer @honeyfewr @movhoney @manipulatour @rammakela *I am so sorry if I forgot to tag you*

[hischiershoe]

─── FLICKER AND FLAME

─── QUINN HUGHES X FEM!READER

[ summary ] A flicker of a school girl crush turned into a much bigger flame than you had ever anticipated, but you always kept it to yourself because you’d been far too scared to get burned. Until this summer. This summer you were determined to let it shine bright, but what happens when it’s blown out by the one person you kept it alive for?

[ word count ] 6.4k

[ content warnings ] angst but w a happy ending, Quinn’s a bit of a jackass, cursing, drinking mentioned, Jack yelling, kissing with some very slight heavy petting but nothing too wild

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 has always been your favorite time of the year, but not for the same reasons that most other people enjoy the warm, sunny season. It wasn’t because you were free from school, or because you got to spend your days doing nothing but lounging around and basking in the sun. It was because it was the one time of the year that you finally got to see the one person that was always on your mind. Quinn. Well, and a little bit of the other stuff, too.

You’d known the Hughes family ever since your younger brother joined the same club hockey team as their youngest, Luke, and they’d been a part of your life ever since. Their parents and yours clicked almost instantly, and what started out as simple invitations to barbecues and post-game dinners quickly shifted into residing in the same lake house for the duration of the summer and various other joint vacations. The Hughes family became a prominent fixture in your life, and yours became one in theirs.

When Quinn moved to Michigan for hockey, you realized that what you thought was a small and meaningless crush was much bigger than you had even imagined. You had grown so used to seeing him several times a month, where you could quietly observe him as he corralled the three younger boys, that you never realized it was something you’d looked forward to. It was a little creepy when you thought about it, but, in your defense, you were just a girl with a tiny crush on an older boy. However, when he was a few hundred miles away, the reality that it wasn't so tiny after all hit you like a freight train. Though, of course, you never let anyone find out about it.

Especially because you knew he would never feel the same.

Despite that minor detail, it still never deflated the excitement that swelled in your chest when you were finally on your way to Michigan for the summer. Every time you and your brother would pack up your things, load up on a plane, and head down to the lakehouse, it was like everything was falling back into place all over again. While there had been a few changes over the years, notably the lack of parental presence and lakehouse ownership, the one thing that never changed was the thrill and anticipation that poured out of everyone who crossed the threshold.

You weren’t entirely sure what had gotten into you this summer, or where the sudden confidence boost came from, but you were far more brazen and bold-faced when it came to Quinn. Okay, maybe not that much more, but you were actively making attempts to drop subtle hints that you found him attractive or going out of your way to talk to him. However, it wasn’t necessarily going in your favor as he would awkwardly mumble his responses or deflect your comments and shift the conversation to else. His callousness towards you was slowly chipping away at your enthusiasm, eating away at it until there was almost nothing left.

Of course, you knew that Quinn even remotely returning your sentiments towards him was almost as likely as him letting Jace drive the golf cart again, but deep down, you’d hoped. Hoped that he would’ve at least done more than treat you more than an inconvenience. He’d never been so apathetic towards you in the summers before, but then again, you’d always kept your distance when it came to him. You’d always been intimidated by him, afraid that you would say the wrong thing or do something embarrassing that you could never come back from, and you’re beginning to think you should’ve kept that tradition going. After all, it’d kept you safe from the sinking feeling in your stomach that you couldn’t shake now.

However, there was one instance that was constantly on your mind and left you more confused than anything. 

You had been lying out by the pool, eyes closed as the sun beat down on your glistening ski, when you heard the unmistakable sounds of laughter and playful bickering. You hadn’t bothered to look up to see who it was, assuming that it was just the usual group of rowdy boys, but you did get a little curious when you heard their voices come to an abrupt stop. You had propped yourself up on your elbows and scanned the backyard before you let your gaze fall on them, and what you saw made your jaw go slack and your eyes widen. 

The boys you had never seen before were not so subtly staring at you, and Quinn’s face was twisted in anger, an emotion that you rarely ever saw on his face, and Jack had to physically pull him away from the rest of them. You watched them with careful, curious eyes, but when Jace had finally glanced in your direction, all he did was shrug in response. Eventually, you decided that it wasn’t all that important and you relaxed into the lounger all over again, but then you heard a faint comment pass through the lips of a boy you’d never seen before.

“All I said was that Jace’s sister was hot.”

It was your brother’s idea to have a small get together at the house, and the others were quick to hop on board before going into full on planning mode. You offered to go to the liquor store with Quinn, but he was quick to point out that at least one responsible person needed to go to the grocery store with Luke and Jace. If they were sent by themselves, they’d grab one bag of chips, a tub of ice cream, and a box of Costco muffins for themselves. You knew he was right, everyone did, and that was how you begrudgingly ended up hauling the two of them into town.

“So,” Luke drawls out as he leans on the center console, “You really wanted to go with Quinn, huh?”

“She was almost ready to give up having actual food just to go with him,” Jace cheekily added, nudging his friend as they both looked at you with mischievous smiles.

“I just wanted to make sure he got my favorite drink,” You shrug as you slightly tighten your grip on the wheel, trying to keep your voice steady and nonchalant. 

Yeah, okay,” Luke snorts before he leans back into his seat, “He’s forgotten everyone’s drinks a dozen times, but he’s never forgotten yours. Not once. He even makes sure he gets it before you two get here.”

Luke’s words echo in your head for the duration of your food run, taking up so much space in your mind that you nearly forget to check the basket of food the boys had loaded up. You couldn’t help but let the new bit of information fan the small flame of hope you had left, and you left the store with a certain skip to your step that made both Luke and Jace roll their eyes. 

With testosterone filled hockey players, girlfriends, and anyone that everyone had befriended over the years scattered throughout the house, the quiet party was in full swing. You were tucked in the corner of the sofa with Alyssa and Izzy, a cup of your favorite drink in your hand as the three of you caught up with each other. Your focus kept drifting to Quinn as he stood in the kitchen talking with Josh and a few other people you vaguely recognized, and you caught yourself admiring him for far longer than what would be considered normal. 

Though you were a little happy to see that he was seemingly brushing off any girl who tried to talk to him. 

It was Trevor’s suggestion to gather around the small fire pit outside, and if there was one thing he was going to do, it was get his way. As everyone filed out of the house, you lingered in the kitchen for a few more minutes so that you could grab yourself another drink, but you quickly grew to regret that choice when you stepped through the door. All of the seats had been taken, no one daring to sit on the ground that was still slightly wet from the rain the previous evening, and you were standing there nervously gripping the cup as your eyes shifted from person to person. 

“Why don’t you just sit on Quinn’s lap or something,” Cole innocently suggested, the girl he’d met at the golf course perched on his knee.

“No,” Quinn hastily blurts before anyone else can even get a simple thought in, “That’s weird and a stupid idea.”

Your eyes immediately widen, your face heating up in embarrassment as you freeze in your spot. You can feel everyone’s gazes flickering between you and Quinn, watching as horrified tears well in your eyes, and he looks everywhere but at you. Though you can’t bring yourself to look away from him. You force yourself to watch as he shrinks into his seat, as he grips the beer bottle in his hand so tightly that you’re surprised it hasn’t shattered. You force yourself to watch how disgusted he is at the mere idea of you getting that close to him. You force yourself to feel the small flame of hope you had left be blown out by the very person you kept it alive for. 

An uncomfortable silence sticks itself to everyone, their gazes still darting between you and Quinn as they wait for someone to say something. For someone to pop the thick bubble of tension that had formed around you, but no one knew what to say. No one knew what to do. 

“I’m sorry,” Cole speaks up first, regret laced in his tone as he focuses on you, “It was just a joke. We can go grab the beanbag from upstairs for someone to sit on, so you can have a chair.”

Your eyes shone with unshed tears as you took a deep and shaky breath, finally forcing your gaze away from Quinn, “Don’t worry about it. I kind of wanted to go lie down, anyway. I’m tired.”

Without a second thought, you were turning on your heels and darting back into the house, hastily discarding your full cup on the kitchen counter as you ignored the few pleading shouts of your name. Your lungs feel like they’re burning, every breath you take acting as fuel to the ever growing fire in your chest, and you need to get away before you let yourself get burned entirely. 

As soon as you step into your room, you fling the door shut behind you before practically launching yourself onto your bed, burying your face in the mountain of pillows to muffle the mortified sobs that tore through you. Truthfully, you knew that what happened downstairs might not have seemed like a big deal to most, but to you? To you, it felt like Quinn had stood in front of an arena full of people and told them that he would never see you as anything other than Jace’s sister. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Jack’s yell filters up to your room, the anger in his voice bringing your cries to a temporary stop.

Your head perks up, and though you can’t hear who exactly is on the receiving end of Jack’s outburst, you make the obvious assumption that it’s Quinn. Whatever he said in response is too quiet for you to pick up on, but you can still hear Jack clear as day. “Do you get it? Because what you told me yesterday and what you just did isn’t adding up! Quinn, where are you going?!”

His voice is cut off by the front door slamming, and your eyes widen as you try to listen in case anything else was said, but the sound of the metal hinges slowly creaking open breaks your concentration. 

“Hey,” Jace peeks his head through the small crack in the door, his face illuminated by the small lamp on your dresser that you had left on earlier that day, “Mind if we come in?”

“Sure,” You weakly mumble, wiping at your cheeks as you sit up on your bed and move so your legs are dangling over the edge. 

He pushes the door open the rest of the way, Luke trailing behind him as they quickly rush to you and take the spot on either side of you. For a while, none of you say anything, likely all still trying to process everything that had happened. You don’t expect Luke to be the first to speak up, both because Quinn was his brother and because he’d never been all that great at comforting people anyway. Jace, despite the three year age difference, was always in your corner trying to help when he could, but you had a feeling that even he was at a loss for words right now.

“Quinn didn’t drive anywhere, did he,” You finally ask, shattering the wall of silence that had been built around you, “I know he drank a little bit tonight.”

“No. Trevor came in before them and hid everyone’s keys,” Jace’s voice was clipped, and it was then that your eyes fell to his hands that were balled into fists at his side. He was angry. No, he was livid, and it made a pit of guilt form in your stomach. You ruined his party because you let a stupid boy get to you.

“Good,” You swallow, your gaze flickering to Luke, who had a look that resembled confliction on his face with his gaze fixated on the ground beneath his feet, “That’s good.”

“Are you good,” Luke asks, his voice nearly startling you as he slightly shifts towards you, “I mean, are you okay? I don’t really know what happened down there because it all happened really fast and I’m a little drunk, but you looked sad.” 

“Yeah, Luke,” You lightly laugh as you nudge him with your shoulder, “I’m okay. Just a little upset is all, but maybe this is what I needed, you know? I’ve spent almost the entire time I’ve been here trying to get his attention, but obviously it was pointless. This is just the shock to my system I needed to move on.”

“We can go back home early if you want,” Jace softly adds on, though you can tell he doesn’t really want that, “We can pack up and go back. I can work on my breakaways and stuff with coach, and you can help me pick out stuff for my new apartment before you start your new job.”

“No. We’re not leaving,” You firmly shake your head, the sigh of relief he lets out making a small smile form on your face, “I don’t want to leave. I’ll be okay, I promise. You guys should go back outside though, liven up the party a bit.”

“Are you sure,” Jace asks, his voice tinged with hope, and his shoulders relaxing.

“I’m sure,” You teasingly roll your eyes, placing your palms in the middle of their backs before you gently shove them off your bed, “Go back out there and have fun. I’m going to try and sleep this whole thing off.”

It didn’t take much more convincing in order to get them to leave, but as soon as you were alone in your room again, you crawled under your blanket and let silent tears slide down your cheeks until you succumbed to your own emotional exhaustion. 

You weren’t entirely sure how long you had been asleep, but judging by how dark it was outside and how quiet the house was, you knew it was well into the middle of the night. You could hear Luke’s faint snores, something he only did when he had drank far too much, coming from the room next to you, and if he was asleep, it was safe to assume everyone else was, too. He’d always put up a fight to be the last person awake, not wanting to miss out on any potential action, and he would never even consider touching his bed until he knew everyone was done for the night.

Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you carefully slipped out of bed and tiptoed down to the kitchen, making sure to avoid the especially creaky parts of the stairs. The lack of bodies spread across the living room told you that a few of the others had either found ways home, or they walked the short trip down to Cole’s and stayed there for the night. Regardless, you were grateful for the emptiness because you didn’t have to worry about waking even more people when you searched the kitchen for something non-alcoholic to drink. 

The water pitcher was shoved to the back of the fridge, nearly invisible behind the mostly empty boxes of beer and half-eaten take out containers. Your gaze catches sight of your cup from earlier still sitting on the counter, and it felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs all over again. You were barely conscious enough to remember what had happened when you first got up, but the cup served as a glaring reminder of Quinn’s blatant rejection from earlier. 

The blood was pounding so loudly in your ears that you didn’t hear the sound of the front door opening as you rounded the kitchen island, and you were far too focused on frantically throwing the cup in the sink that you missed the echo of footsteps nearing you. Some of the liquid had sloshed all over the countertop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it that much. You knew it would get cleaned up tomorrow when everyone was forced into the usual hangover fueled cleaning. 

You heard someone softly calling your name, forcing your focus in the direction that it had come from, and you came face to face with the one person you didn’t want to see. Quinn hovered a few feet away from you, his hair a wild mess on his head and his cheeks tinged a light pink from what you’re assuming is either the alcohol still in his system or from the wind biting at his skin. You watched as his eyes darted across your face, no doubt noticing how swollen your eyes were from crying, and you let your gaze fall to the floor as you crossed your arms against your chest, subtly shuffling away from him.

“Uh, what are you doing awake,” Quinn’s asks, his tone painfully awkward and strained as he brings his hand up to anxiously rub at the back of his neck.

“I just woke up to get some water,” You weakly admit, uncomfortably rocking on the balls of your feet, “Are you just getting back?”

“Yeah,” He clears his throat, “I walked down towards the marina and stayed there for a while.”

You don’t say anything in response, letting the silence prick at your skin as you chew on your bottom lip. You stood there for a few moments, debating on whether or not you wanted to try and talk to Quinn about what had happened, but you ultimately fought off the urge and silently turned on your feet. You had already been embarrassed enough for one night; The last thing you needed was for him to downright reject you to your face, so you chose to walk away.

Although Quinn desperately calls out your name, quickly closing the gap between you before he delicately grabs your bicep and keeps you in your spot. In all of the years you’d known Quinn, it was rare that the two of you ever got this close, and when you did, it made your head spin and goosebumps rise on your arms and legs. This was no exception. Your breath was caught in your throat as you slowly dragged your eyes to Quinn’s face, meeting his pleading and guilty stare.

“Please, wait,” He shakily begs, letting go of your arm when you slowly nod your head in response.

The air around you was so thick with tension that it was almost suffocating. You could barely breathe around him as it is, but now it felt like you were going to pass out. This time, you don’t move away from Quinn, choosing to stay inches away from him as he takes a sharp breath.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” He begins as he runs a hand through his hair, though he keeps his eyes on you, “I was an asshole, and I put you in a terrible spot in front of everyone.”

“It’s okay, Quinn,” You softly reassure, a sad smile tugging at your lips, “I’ll get over it. Besides, I think it was what I needed, you know? I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been trying to get your attention all summer, but obviously that was never going to go anywhere, so this was good for me. I’ll take the hint and leave you alone.”

“No,” Quinn hastily rushes out, the word tumbling out of his mouth so fast that it visibly shocks you, “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

His voice trails off as his eyes search your face, trying to pick up on what was going through your mind, but all he found was a combination of disbelief, and distrust. He can’t blame you for not believing what he said, of course. After all, he had done everything but give you any sort of idea that your feelings for him were returned in any capacity. 

“What do you mean,” You choke out as frustrated tears swim in your eyes. You were confused, and you could feel the snuffed out flame of hope attempting to relight itself, but you weren’t going to let it. You couldn’t.

“I know that the way I’ve been acting this summer sucks,” He acknowledges, swallowing thickly, “I know I haven’t been the best at showing how I feel, but I do like you. A lot. I just– I don’t want you to give up on me. I want to try with you the same way you’ve been trying with me.”

Your entire body freezes, a million thoughts running through your brain at a speed that makes your head hurt. It didn’t make any sense. No matter how badly you wanted it to be true, to let yourself believe that he actually meant what you said, it just didn’t add up. What if he was only saying that because he felt like he had to? Because he felt bad?

“That isn’t fair, Quinn,” Your voice wobbles as you shake your head and step away from him, “You don’t get to brush me off all summer, embarrass me in front of our friends, and then tell me that you like me. That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I know,” He surges, his voice breaking when he watches you put even more distance between the two of you, “I know it doesn’t, but I promise I will prove it to you. I’ll spend the rest of the summer and however long after that showing you that I mean it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

The next day, or later in the day if you wanted to be technical, Quinn was adamant on following up on his promise to you. He was going out of his way to talk to you, to do things for you and only you, and he even made a point to talk to Jace about how he had been making you feel. When you saw your brother later on, you tried to ask him about it, but all he did was shrug in response and mumble something that you couldn’t hear. The only idea you had that he had even slightly forgiven Quinn came from watching the two of them get the small bonfire going, which was something Jace rarely ever let anyone help him do.

At first, Quinn’s attempts made you a little uneasy because the change was so drastic from how everything had been doing, but as the day went on, you slowly warmed up to it. He was slowly axing away at the wall of doubt you’d built, and you began to let yourself entertain the idea that maybe he wasn’t messing with you after all. It also helped that during a small talk with Ellen after dinner, she had let a few things ‘slip’ about her eldest son’s feelings for you. Though, you couldn’t help but think her two younger boys had something to do with that based on the interrogation you received from them afterwards. 

Before you had gone to bed that night, you called your mom on the phone and asked her opinion on what you should do. At first, you tried to avoid saying any names, choosing to say ‘a boy’ instead, but she was quick to cut you off and tell you that she knew you were talking about Quinn. She’d known about your crush on him since the day the two of you met. After you had broken down everything as best as you could, she told you that if your heart was truly telling you to give it a shot, then you should listen to it. She reminded you that allowing yourself the effort was much better than denying yourself the opportunity.

When you woke up the following morning, you didn’t have much time to focus on figuring out what you wanted to do because the boys immediately dragged you into town to grab food and more drinks for their self-declared pool day. Luke had a few of his college friends over for the weekend, which meant that the SUV you borrowed was packed full of rowdy boys, and there wasn’t a quiet moment the entire time. You barely had time to think about what you needed to grab, let alone about the internal battle you had going on.

“Who’s supposed to grill these stupid hotdogs,” You shouted over the various voices filling the space around you, waving the aforementioned package of hotdogs in the air.

“Quinn! He’s outside heating the grill up right now,” You heard Luke shout before he darted upstairs to change into his trunks.

You contemplated asking one of the others to take them out to Quinn, but, with your mom's advice ringing in your ears, you ultimately decided to do it yourself. You grabbed one of the larger baking sheets from the cabinet and used it to carry everything outside, where you saw Quinn sitting in one of the chairs near the grill. He doesn’t hear you coming, and you don’t announce yourself either.

Partly because you were nervous, and partly because you wanted to see if his promise was as ironclad as he made it seem. 

Quinn felt someone brush past him, and he had to do a double take when he saw that it was you who had slipped by. He was almost instantly rushing to his feet, the chair scraping against the concrete and his phone clattering on the table, discarded and forgotten now that you were near him. He watched as you placed the tray on the unlit side burner before taking a bashful peek over your shoulder.

“Luke said you were responsible for these,” You speak first, turning your body completely towards him. 

“Seems like I always am,” He lightly jokes, his focus shifting from your face to your hands that were nervously picking at the threads on your shorts. It was a habit you’d had for as long as he could remember.

“Yeah, I bet,” The corners of your mouth tug into a small smile, “Personally, I prefer your cooking over everyone else’s. Seems like you’re the only one who knows how to make things the way I like.”

Quinn’s face flushes at your subtle compliment, but he can’t help but let a sense of pride swell in his chest. Sure, a few summers ago he might have asked your dad to show him how to cook just for you, but it was the fact that you preferred his that really made him feel accomplished. It felt like it was the first thing he had actually gotten right with you. 

“I do my best,” He finally gets out through a shaky breath. 

“I think you’re great,” You affirm, placing a delicate hand on his bicep before you slip away and back into the house again before you overthink your fleeting touch a little too much.

Heat crawled up your neck and licked at your cheeks as you made a beeline for your room, nearly trampling Jace and Dylan when they filtered down the stairs with towels slung over their shoulders. You could hear your brother's loud shouts of mock displeasure, but you don’t pay him any mind as you burst through your room and let the door slam shut behind you. 

You felt silly, almost childish, letting a touch that you initiated affect you so deeply that it made your heart race in your chest and the skin of your palm tingle. You leaned against the wall for a few moments, trying to gather your thoughts enough so you were able to form some sort of plan to let Quinn know that you believed him. That you wanted to try and see how things with him could go.

Sure, you could outright tell him, but where’s the fun in that?

After a quick phone call to your best friend back home, you were slipping into the bathing suit she slightly coerced you into choosing and applying a very light layer of waterproof mascara to your eyes. While neither of those things were necessarily out of the ordinary from your usual routine, this time you were going downstairs with the knowledge that your effort was going to be noticed. This time, it wasn’t for nothing.

Quinn noticed the shift in your attitude the second you walked outside. Unlike yesterday, you returned the smile he tossed your way with one of your own, with the smile he’d seen on your face a dozen times before. Instead of avoiding his gaze when you grabbed your food, you hovered near him and talked to him about whatever came to mind until everyone had gotten theirs. When everyone decided to sit at the table before getting back into the pool, you made sure you got the seat next to him rather than forcing Jace to make space for you.

It was giving Quinn hope that maybe he hadn’t truly fucked things up as badly as he thought, and he was going to cling to that as long as he possibly could.

“I’m gonna go grab something to drink,” You mumble to no one in particular before you rise to your feet, knowing that almost none of them were paying attention anyway

You pull the door open and step into the cool air of the house, the sudden change in temperature causing goosebumps to litter your skin as your feet pad across the tile. Laughter and shouts from the others outside still find their way into the kitchen, and it makes a small smile form on your face when you’re tugging at the fridge door. It always made you happy; Seeing and hearing how much everyone was enjoying themselves. That was what summer was all about.

“Okay, I got it,” You heard Quinn yell from behind you, the sound of the door shutting following directly after.

You turn on your heels to face him, the notion of getting another drink long forgotten when you saw him standing there in nothing but his swimming trunks. You’d seen Quinn shirtless far too many times to count, but it never ceased to make heat rush to your cheeks and your heart thud in your chest. Little did you know, you had the same, if not worse, kind of effect on him.

Quinn has a hard time keeping his eyes on your face, the urge to let them wander to your chest and fixate on what your bathing suit barely covers becoming so strong that it was almost painful to hold back. He only lets his gaze linger for a few moments before he forces himself to move, to walk towards you in search of the excuse he used to come inside after you. 

You watch as Quinn rounds the kitchen island, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you inwardly weigh your options. Should you wait and say something to Quinn later? Wait until you had time to think about what you want to say so you don’t embarrass yourself, or should you just do it now? Ultimately, you knew your time at the lakehouse was fast approaching, and if you wanted to test the waters with him, you needed to act fast. 

After all, there’s no better time than the present, or whatever they say.

“Hey Quinn,” You softly call out as he pulls two Gatorades from the shelf.

He lets the fridge door fall shut behind him, his focus shifting back towards you where he lets his eyes drift too far south for a fleeting moment before he shamefully meets your eyes, hoping you didn’t notice. When he saw the subtle quirk of your brow, he knew he had been caught, but you don’t say anything about his wandering gaze. 

“What’s up,” He nervously clears his throat, lazily tossing the bottles on the counter before giving you his full attention. 

“So, you know Jace and I leave in like two weeks, right,” You anxiously begin, your throat growing dry and your eyes darting around the kitchen, “Well, if we’re supposed to, like, test the water or whatever, we should probably start now. Don’t you think?”

Time freezes around you, your gaze flickering back up to Quinn to watch the gears turn behind his eyes. You watch as his jaw goes slack and he slowly blinks, but the longer he stays silent, the more you want the world to swallow you whole. All of your doubts and insecurities began to bubble to the surface, and suddenly, the idea of going home early started to sound like a great idea.

“Or not,” You hastily rush out as embarrassment crawls up your spine and you step away from him, “That’s totally cool, too. I just thought–”

“I do,” His voice smothers your own, a certain urgency to his tone that forces your movements to come to a halt, “I do, I swear. I just– I can’t think because I really want to kiss you right now.”

Your eyes widen in disbelief before you find the confidence to let out a breathy, “Why don’t you then?”

In one smooth motion, Quinn is stepping towards you and tugging you into his chest by your waist, slamming his lips on yours in a kiss that nearly sends you toppling over. Luckily, his grip on you was tight enough to keep you steady, and he uses it to maneuver you so you’re pressed against the island. Your arms loop behind his neck to pull him closer, your mouths moving together in almost perfect sync in a way that made that stupid flicker of hope burst into flames and light your entire body on fire.

You can feel his hands slide down to cup the backs of your thighs, and he effortlessly lifts your body so you can feel the cool granite on your skin. His rough, calloused hands are exploring the dips and curves of your body, his touch leaving your skin hot and aching for more. With your legs wrapped around his waist, you pull Quinn even closer to you, and your fingernails leave crescent shaped divots on his shoulder blades when you slip your tongue into his mouth.

A low groan vibrates against your mouth, and Quinn’s thumb slips underneath the string of your top, his thumb delicately brushing the side of your chest. A shiver runs down your spine, and you subconsciously roll your hips against his. You can feel the effect you had on him pressed against the inside of your thigh, and it was doing wonders for your ego. Giving you the kind of motivation you needed to shove your nerves to the back of your mind.

“Dude, what is taking you so lo– Oh my god,” Jack’s voice breaks off into a horrified yell when his eyes settle on the scene before him, “Dude! We eat at that counter, what is wrong with you?!”

You and Quinn separate from each other, lips red and swollen as your necks snap towards Jack before he was turning on his heels and dashing back outside. The door slams shut when he darts back outside, the echo meshing with the sounds of your heavy breathing and Quinn’s quiet mumbles of annoyance. The pads of his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips as he lets his forehead fall to your shoulder, and you can’t help but a string of giggles escape through your lips.

“At least it was your brother and not mine,” You lightly tease.

“Yeah, well, Jack’s a good storyteller,” Quinn grumbles, “I’m sure he’ll give everyone a good enough image that they’ll feel like they were here.”

When the two of you recollect yourselves enough to head back outside, the looks that were being thrown in your direction confirmed that Jack had, in fact, done a good job at recounting his unfortunate interruption. Jace was staring at you with a look of utter repulsion, but you nonchalantly shrug your shoulders at him and let Quinn gently yank you into his lap. After the general round of teasing comments and hollers went around the backyard, everyone went back to normal and acted as if nothing had changed.

Not you, though.

For you, everything had changed in the best way possible, and you were determined to figure out if things between you and Quinn could blossom into something more. Into something that made all those years of pining and dreaming worth it.

[0oolookitsme]

Piece of His Heart

Hii everyone, I'm back from my long hiatus!! Hope you missed me because boy did I miss YOU! <3 This one is a little emotional, a little sweet, and VERY Harry focused. Also, I was inspired to write this piece while listening to 'London's Song' by Matt Hartke, and trust me, it's a lovely song. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Verse - Artist!Harry x Photographer!Y/n

Word Count - 1.0k

Warnings - Mentions of unplanned pregnancy, financial stress.

Harry and Y/n were students, and now, parents to a newborn babygirl as well. With all of the newfound emotions rushing through them, one thing he knew was that they were going to build this new little family slowly, and lovingly.

Harry looked up at the ceiling, at the overused fan moving slowly and creakily, with one of his arms under his head while the other one remained draped over his little baby's back. 

She was curled up on top of him, breathing softly, her little hands fisting his shirt. 

Daylight was pouring into the room through the gap between the two curtains, and Harry still couldn't believe that the little one sleeping away on his chest was finally here, after a worthwhile wait of a full nine months.

He still remembers the nickname he'd given her while she was still inside her mum's belly – 'Pumpkin' he had called her, and her little frame couldn't have agreed more with him. 

Full and round cheeks hung a little low on her face, her small mouth in a pout and eyes as circular as pearls, nothing if not the true meaning of grace.

Which is why he'd settled with the name 'Opal', grinning widely while Y/n had nodded furiously with tears in her eyes, saying how it was the perfect name ever.

His mornings suddenly became impossibly sweeter, something he hadn't expected since he had moved back in this childhood home with Y/n.

A few days ago, when he had laid his eyes on the bundle of sunshine for the very first time ever, a huge piece of his heart, if not his entire heart, had been taken right then and there. 

Sighing, Harry got up very carefully, wary of waking up the newborn and then, when he successfully hadn't, laid her on the two person size sofa – all that he could fit in the name of a seat inside his small art studio. 

He had just turned to get back to his awaiting Canvas, when Opal began mumbling. She was talking in her sleep, he realised with a smile growing on his face, making his dimples show up. 

Another piece of his heart was taken then. 

He wondered, each time that she slept, about just what she was dreaming up. On nights, he worried if she wasn't warm enough, wanted her to know that there was a blanket of stars above her – but he knew he could wait until she began talking to do that. 

Even though he couldn't afford the best, he was going to make this work. He was going to be the best father out there, give Opal all of his love, all with Y/n by his side.

Putting back down the paintbrush he had picked up because he couldn't stop thinking of her, Harry walked back over with his stool to sit and watch her. He crossed over the chair, his front against the chair's backrest as he rested his face on his arms, gazing down with a soft smile on his mouth. 

"I can't wait for you to grow up so that we can talk, you know? So, hopefully, you can tell me if this is where you'll always wanna be," he spoke, brushing away the unruly mop curls on her head. 

"And we can go to a place where you look at the light and it splinters," he sighed, moving to cover her up with a blanket. "Where there's plenty of gas in our car to last us the cold, cold winter," tears glazed over his sight, sniffling as he looked at her small figure lull to side as she slept – he almost let slip a chuckle. 

Right then, she took whatever pieces were left of his heart. 

Winter this year wasn't easy, but that wasn't to say that it wasn't the best one aside from the ones he had spent with Y/n. So much financial stress had come with the unplanned pregnancy, and now a baby. But he knew that the both of them could pull through the loans and make it out as a happy and healthy family, if they stuck together. 

Y/n’s dad, a single father, was a little bit bitter about the whole situation but had begrudgingly stepped forward to help out the two with handling the house, seeing as the both of them had to attend college as well as take care of the baby. He dropped off the groceries last weekend, along with the last minute new-born-baby stuff that Y/n had told him they needed. 

Even Anne stepped forward, letting the two of them borrow a room in her house for as long as they needed – likely until they could get back up on their own feet financially.

Currently, as Harry sat feeling overwhelmed with all of the love and other emotions rushing through him, he could hear Anne talking to Y/n down the hall. The walls weren’t the thickest and he could tell that Anne was sharing her own stories with Y/n, telling her about how she’d had Harry at a young age, and more. 

He’d heard it before, had even seen the two of them having this chat. So he knew that Anne, very likely, had Y/n’s head in her lap and brushing her hands through her hair, trying to console the woman high on hormones and the insurmountable number of emotions she must be feeling. 

Wiping away at his nose with the sleeve of his flannel, Harry blinked away the tears and pulled up a smile on his face again, trying to be courageous, for Y/n and their daughter. Because he knew that Y/n was doing the same for them. For the little family they were both going to build slowly and lovingly now.

"But I also want you to be this little forever, so that I can cherish you enough, yes?" He asked her, nodding his head when she mumbled something incoherent, something similar to ‘we’ll be fine, dada', Harry wanted to believe. 

And unable to help himself, he picked her up again, holding her flush against his exposed torso because he didn’t have the energy to button up his shirt and the skin to skin contact made breathing a little easier. 

"I'll love you tenderly," he whispered, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "I'll love you forever, and more, little pumpkin." 

[w1w2]

Flights, Not Feelings

Giselle x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ca. 5k

Synopsis: In the high-stakes world of K-pop, two idols navigate the complexities of connection amidst the chaos of fame. Between stolen moments and unspoken emotions, they must confront their fears and desires while finding solace in each other.

English isn’t my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

The glow of the stage lights still lingered in Y/N’s vision as the girls of Le Sserafim piled into the waiting van, chatter echoing softly in the confined space. Y/N leaned her head against the window, watching the neon-lit streets of Seoul blur past. Tonight’s performance had been electric, yet as always, it left her feeling a little empty when the adrenaline waned.

Y/N was used to this—a life of constant motion. Interviews, choreography, rehearsals, fan events. Every moment meticulously planned, leaving little room for personal time. But she didn’t mind, not really. She had signed up for this dream, after all. Yet, as the van grew quieter, and her members drifted into their own thoughts, Y/N found herself scrolling aimlessly through her phone, her finger hovering over a familiar name in her contacts: Aeri.

The other half of her chaos. Her secret.

Their connection had started as something casual, a way to ease the loneliness that came with being on the road all the time. Y/N had always admired Giselle—Aeri, as she insisted Y/N call her—from afar. Aeri had this effortless coolness about her, a magnetic confidence that drew people in. Y/N had been no exception.

But Aeri didn’t let people get too close. She had walls. Thick, unyielding barriers that even Y/N hadn’t fully breached. Their moments together were fleeting yet intense: stolen glances across crowded rooms, whispered conversations after shows, and nights spent in each other’s arms, pretending their lives were simpler than they were.

“Catching flights, not feelings,” Aeri had joked once, her voice low and teasing. The words had stuck, a mantra that Y/N now found herself repeating whenever her thoughts lingered on the idea of wanting more.

Later that night, as Y/N prepared to collapse into bed, her phone buzzed. It was a text from Aeri.

U up?

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. It always did when Aeri reached out, even though she tried not to let it. She hesitated for a moment before replying.

Always.

Within twenty minutes, Aeri was there, standing in the hallway of the dorm building, her hood pulled low and her mask covering most of her face. Y/N ushered her in quietly, and they made their way to her room.

There was something about the way Aeri moved—confident, yet careful, like she was always calculating her next step. Y/N watched her settle into the corner of the bed, her sharp features softened by the dim light.

“You look tired,” Aeri said, her tone casual but her eyes observant.

“Long day,” Y/N replied, trying not to focus on how good Aeri looked in a simple hoodie and jeans.

They talked for a while—about work, their members, and the latest rumors swirling around their groups. It was easy with Aeri. She had a way of making Y/N feel like the chaos of their world could be paused, even if only for a moment.

And then, like always, their words trailed off, and the silence between them filled with something unspoken. Aeri leaned in first, her touch familiar and intoxicating. Y/N didn’t resist, though she knew this would end the same way it always did: Aeri leaving before morning, and Y/N left wondering if she was the only one feeling the pull of something deeper.

From Aeri’s perspective, this arrangement worked. It was simple, uncomplicated. Y/N was warm and bright, like a burst of sunlight breaking through the gray haze of Aeri’s busy, often overwhelming life. But she couldn’t let Y/N in too far. Not when the stakes were this high.

Feelings got messy, and Aeri had spent years building the walls that protected her from the vulnerability she feared. It was easier to focus on the things she could control: her career, her image, her reputation. Letting Y/N in would mean risking all of that.

And yet, as Aeri watched Y/N laugh at something dumb she’d said, her face lighting up in that way that made everything feel lighter, Aeri felt her resolve waver. Just a little.

As dawn crept closer, Aeri slipped out of Y/N’s room, leaving behind nothing but the faintest trace of her perfume on the sheets. Y/N lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the weight of unsaid words pressing against her chest. She had tried to play by Aeri’s rules, to keep things light and casual. But the more time they spent together, the harder it was to ignore the ache growing in her heart.

“Catching flights, not feelings,” Y/N whispered to herself, the words tasting bitter now.

Little did she know, Aeri was thinking the same thing as she made her way back to her dorm, her heart heavy in a way she didn’t quite understand. Maybe, just maybe, the walls she had built were starting to crack.

The days blurred into a whirlwind of performances, fan meetings, and endless rehearsals. For Y/N, it was the small, stolen moments with Aeri that kept her grounded amidst the chaos. They’d perfected the art of sneaking away during breaks, finding secluded corners in venues or quiet cafes where they could simply exist together, away from the prying eyes of fans and managers.

It was in these fleeting interludes that Y/N felt the closest to Aeri. Like the time they’d found themselves sitting on the floor of an empty practice room, sharing a single bottle of water after hours of grueling rehearsals. Aeri had nudged Y/N’s shoulder with her own, a playful smirk tugging at her lips.

“Think we’ll ever get a break?” Aeri mused, her voice tinged with mock exhaustion.

Y/N laughed softly, the sound bouncing off the mirrored walls. “Only if we schedule it three months in advance.”

Aeri grinned, a rare, unguarded expression that made Y/N’s heart flutter. These were the moments Y/N clung to—the quiet, unspoken connection that felt almost too fragile to name.

But for every warm, tender moment, there was the inevitable pullback. Aeri had a way of retreating, like a tide drawing back into the ocean after briefly touching the shore. She’d deflect when things got too serious, changing the subject with a joke or an offhand comment.

“You care too much about your friends,” Y/N had teased one evening, after Aeri insisted on sending a care package to one of her former classmates who had moved abroad.

Aeri shrugged, her tone nonchalant. “I care just enough.”

The words had stung more than Y/N wanted to admit. She wondered if Aeri saw her the same way—a casual connection, something fleeting and insignificant.

But then there were nights when Aeri would hold her just a little tighter, when her touch lingered a little longer, and Y/N couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe, there was something more beneath the surface.

Late at night, when the dorm was quiet, Y/N found herself staring at the ceiling, replaying every interaction she’d ever had with Aeri. She was torn between the thrill of their connection and the ache of wanting something she feared Aeri couldn’t give.

The rational part of her knew that Aeri’s walls weren’t her fault. Everyone had their baggage, especially in their industry. But the more time they spent together, the harder it was for Y/N to ignore the growing weight in her chest—a mix of longing and frustration that threatened to consume her.

“Am I just setting myself up to get hurt?” she whispered to herself one night, her voice barely audible over the hum of the city outside her window.

Deep down, she already knew the answer. But walking away felt impossible when Aeri’s presence was like gravity, pulling her in no matter how hard she tried to resist.

To Aeri, the situation was perfectly balanced—at least on the surface. Y/N was like a breath of fresh air, someone who could make her laugh and take the edge off the pressure of their demanding lives. Their connection was undeniable, but Aeri kept it compartmentalized, safely tucked away where it couldn’t interfere with the rest of her life.

But every now and then, when she let her guard down for just a second, she felt the cracks in her carefully constructed walls. Y/N had a way of slipping through, her warmth seeping into the spaces Aeri thought she’d sealed off. It scared her, this pull she couldn’t quite control, this growing need to be near Y/N even when logic told her to keep her distance.

“Feelings are messy,” she told herself one night, staring at her reflection in the mirror. “And messy doesn’t work in our world.”

Still, no matter how much she repeated the mantra, it couldn’t erase the moments that lingered—the way Y/N’s laughter lit up a room, or how her touch sent a jolt through Aeri’s chest that she couldn’t ignore.

One evening, during a rare moment of calm, Aeri and Y/N found themselves in a small recording studio. Y/N had brought her guitar, her fingers strumming a soft melody as Aeri leaned back in her chair, eyes closed.

“Do you ever think about what life would be like if we weren’t idols?” Y/N asked, her voice quiet but steady.

Aeri opened her eyes, studying Y/N’s profile in the dim light. “All the time,” she admitted, surprising herself with the honesty of her words.

Y/N looked at her, something unreadable in her gaze. “And what do you see?”

Aeri hesitated, the weight of the question pressing down on her. “I don’t know,” she said finally. “Something simpler, I guess. But that’s not the life we chose.”

Y/N nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah. But sometimes I think… maybe we could have both.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with possibility. Aeri didn’t respond, and Y/N didn’t push. Instead, she returned to her guitar, the melody filling the room as they sat together in companionable silence.

“Catching flights, not feelings,” Aeri murmured under her breath, almost to herself.

Y/N glanced at her, a small smile playing at her lips. “You say that a lot.”

“It’s a good motto,” Aeri replied, her tone light but her expression unreadable.

Y/N didn’t respond, but the look in her eyes said everything she couldn’t put into words.

The weeks that followed were a delicate dance, the push and pull of emotions becoming almost unbearable for Y/N. Aeri’s signals were as mixed as ever—one moment warm and attentive, the next distant and aloof. Y/N tried to play it cool, telling herself that it was better to enjoy the moments they had rather than ruin everything with an untimely confession.

But her heart wasn’t on the same page. Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every laugh they shared chipped away at her resolve. It was becoming harder to pretend that what she felt for Aeri was anything less than love.

The breaking point came one evening after a late-night rehearsal. Y/N had planned to go straight to bed, but Aeri had sent her a text, asking to meet. They ended up on the rooftop of the building, the city stretching out before them in a sea of lights.

Aeri sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, staring out at the skyline. Y/N joined her, the cool breeze doing little to ease the storm raging inside her.

“I needed to clear my head,” Aeri said after a while, her voice quiet.

Y/N hesitated, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. “Do I make it harder?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Aeri turned to her, surprise flickering in her eyes. “What?”

Y/N took a deep breath, her heart pounding. “I mean… do I make it harder for you? Being around you like this. Spending time with you.”

Aeri frowned, as though she didn’t understand the question or didn’t want to. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I feel it,” Y/N admitted, her voice trembling. “This pull between us. And I know you do too, but you keep pushing me away, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

The words tumbled out before Y/N could stop them. “I love you, Aeri. I’ve loved you for a while now, and I can’t keep pretending that this doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Aeri froze, her expression unreadable. For a long moment, the only sound was the hum of the city below.

“You don’t mean that,” Aeri said finally, her voice barely audible.

Y/N’s heart sank. “Yes, I do.”

Aeri shook her head, her hands clenching into fists. “You’re reading too much into this. We’re just… friends, Y/N. That’s all this is.”

Y/N felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Friends don’t do what we do, Aeri. Friends don’t look at each other the way you look at me.”

“That’s not fair,” Aeri shot back, her voice rising. “You think I don’t have enough to deal with already? You think I can just.. just drop everything and let myself feel—” She broke off, her breathing uneven.

The raw vulnerability in Aeri’s voice made Y/N’s heart ache, but it also made her realize something. Aeri wasn’t rejecting her because she didn’t feel the same. She was rejecting her because she was scared.

“I’m not asking you to drop everything,” Y/N said, her voice steady despite the tears threatening to fall. “I’m asking you to let me in. To let yourself feel something real for once.”

But Aeri shook her head, her walls snapping back into place. “I can’t, Y/N. I can’t be what you need.”

The finality in her tone was like a dagger to Y/N’s chest. She stood up, her legs shaky but determined. “Then maybe I need to stop trying,” she said softly. Without another word, she turned and walked away, leaving Aeri alone on the rooftop.

Back in her dorm, Y/N let the tears fall, each one a release of the emotions she’d been holding back for so long. She knew she had done the right thing—laying her heart on the line, even if it meant risking everything. But the pain of Aeri’s rejection was almost too much to bear.

Aeri, meanwhile, sat on the rooftop long after Y/N had left, her mind racing. She replayed Y/N’s words over and over, each one cutting deeper than the last. For the first time in years, she felt the walls around her heart start to crack, and it terrified her.

But what scared her even more was the thought of losing Y/N completely.

In the days following Y/N’s confession, the dynamic between her and Aeri shifted in a way that neither of them could ignore. Y/N, her heart still raw from Aeri’s rejection, began to distance herself. She stopped replying to Aeri’s late-night texts, each unread message a silent reminder of the rift between them.

When their paths crossed during music shows or award rehearsals, Y/N kept things strictly professional. Her bright smile and playful demeanor with others remained intact, but when it came to Aeri, there was a distinct chill. The glances that once lingered were now fleeting, her tone polite but impersonal. If Aeri tried to engage her, Y/N’s responses were brief, her attention shifting to anything or anyone else.

For Aeri, it was agonizing. She hadn’t realized how much she relied on Y/N’s presence. Her warmth, her humor, her quiet understanding until it was gone. The absence felt like a hollow ache, a void that seemed to grow with every passing day. She found herself looking for Y/N in every little moment: backstage before a performance, during lunch breaks, even in the flurry of fans and cameras at the airport. But Y/N was always just out of reach, her avoidance deliberate and cutting.

Aeri tried to act like it didn’t bother her, but the truth was, it did. A lot. Every time Y/N brushed past her without a second glance, every time she laughed a little too loudly at someone else’s joke, it was like a tiny dagger to Aeri’s chest. She found herself replaying their last conversation over and over, her mind dissecting every word, every look, every tear.

One particularly painful moment came during a shared rehearsal for an upcoming event. Aeri had walked into the practice room, her gaze immediately finding Y/N, who was chatting animatedly with her members. For a split second, their eyes met, and Aeri felt a flicker of hope. But Y/N quickly looked away, her smile never faltering as she turned back to Chaewon. The dismissal was subtle but deliberate, and it left Aeri feeling more unmoored than ever.

It didn’t help that Jimin, ever the perceptive leader, noticed Aeri’s growing unease. One evening, as the aespa members settled into their dorm after a long day, Jimin cornered Aeri in her room.

“You’ve been weird lately,” Jimin said, sitting cross-legged on Aeri’s bed with her signature no-nonsense expression. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Aeri replied, her voice sharper than she intended. She busied herself with folding a hoodie, her movements jerky and uncoordinated as she avoided Jimin’s probing gaze.

“Right,” Jimin said, unimpressed. She leaned back on her hands, watching Aeri with an almost predatory calm. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with Y/N, would it?”

Aeri’s hands froze mid-fold. Her head snapped up, and she turned to glare at Jimin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow, undeterred. “Sure, you don’t.” She let the silence stretch for a moment before softening her tone. “Look, whatever it is, figure it out before it eats you alive. You’re not yourself lately.”

Aeri didn’t respond, but her heart was racing. Jimin’s words hit closer to home than she cared to admit. The truth was, she wasn’t herself. Not without Y/N.

As the night wore on and the dorm settled into stillness, Aeri lay awake in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Jimin’s words echoed in her mind, but so did the image of Y/N walking away that night on the rooftop. Aeri had thought she was protecting herself by keeping Y/N at arm’s length, but now she realized she had only succeeded in pushing away the one person who made her feel whole.

The more she thought about it, the more she couldn’t ignore the ache in her chest every time Y/N looked past her, every time her texts went unanswered. It was a strange and unfamiliar feeling—this sense of loss, of regret, of longing. For someone who had always prided herself on control, it was maddening.

It all came to a head at Music Bank. Both groups were scheduled to perform that day, and the backstage area was a bustling maze of idols, staff, and equipment. Aeri spotted Y/N almost immediately, her bright smile lighting up the room as she chatted with Julie from Kiss of Life.

Aeri tried to look away, but her gaze kept drifting back to them. Julie leaned in close, laughing at something Y/N had said, and Aeri felt a surge of irritation she couldn’t quite explain.

“Why does it matter?” Aeri muttered to herself. “She can talk to whoever she wants.”

But the tightness in her chest told a different story.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, but the image of Y/N and Julie together stayed with Aeri, gnawing at her. By the time she returned to the dorm that evening, her frustration had reached its breaking point. She stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Jimin appeared moments later, arms crossed. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Aeri snapped, pacing the room. “It’s just… Y/N. She’s so—” She broke off, struggling to find the right words.

Jimin tilted her head, her expression softening. “You miss her, don’t you?”

Aeri sank onto the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands. “I don’t know what I feel,” she admitted. “But seeing her with someone else today… it messed me up.”

Jimin sat beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Sounds like you need to figure it out. Fast.”

That night, Aeri tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Her mind raced with memories of Y/N. The way she smiled, the sound of her laughter, the way she made Aeri feel safe and seen, even when Aeri tried to keep her at arm’s length.

By midnight, Aeri couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed her phone, hesitating for only a moment before typing out a message.

Are you awake? I need to see you.

Y/N didn’t reply immediately, and Aeri’s heart sank. But then her phone buzzed.

Come over.

Aeri didn’t think twice. She threw on a jacket, ignoring the late hour and the potential consequences. All that mattered was Y/N.

When Y/N opened the door to her dorm, she looked surprised to see Aeri standing there, her face pale but determined. Without a word, Y/N led her to her room, closing the door behind them.

“What’s going on?” Y/N asked, her tone guarded.

Aeri hesitated, her hands trembling. “I… I saw you today. With Julie.”

Y/N frowned. “So? We were just talking.”

“I know,” Aeri said quickly. “But it still bothered me. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Y/N folded her arms, her expression unreadable. “Why do you care, Aeri? You made it clear that I’m just a friend to you.”

Aeri flinched at the words, the weight of them hitting her like a punch to the gut. “I don’t know why I care,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “But I do. And it’s driving me crazy.”

Y/N sighed, her shoulders sagging. “You can’t do this, Aeri. You can’t push me away and then act like this when I try to move on. It’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not,” Aeri said, stepping closer. “But I can’t lose you, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do if I did.”

For a moment, they just stared at each other, the tension between them thick and suffocating. The silence stretched, heavy with everything left unsaid. Finally, Y/N broke it, her voice trembling with frustration and hurt.

“You don’t get to do this, Aeri,” she said, her tone sharper than she intended. “You don’t get to push me away, act like I don’t matter, and then come back just because you’re jealous. That’s not fair.”

Aeri flinched, her fists clenching at her sides. “I know it’s not fair, but I don’t know how else to—”

“To what?” Y/N cut her off, her eyes blazing. “To deal with your feelings? To admit that you care? You think I don’t know how scared you are, Aeri? You think I haven’t felt that too? But at least I had the guts to be honest with you, and you—” Her voice cracked, and she looked away, trying to keep her emotions in check. “You threw it back in my face.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Aeri said, her voice rising with desperation. “I didn’t know what to do, Y/N! You think this is easy for me? I’ve spent my whole life building walls, protecting myself, and you—” She paused, her breath hitching. “You’re the first person who’s ever made me want to tear them down. But I’m terrified. Don’t you get that?”

Y/N’s eyes softened for a moment, but the anger and pain still simmered beneath the surface. “I do get it,” she said quietly. “But you can’t keep using fear as an excuse to hurt me. I can’t keep putting myself out there for someone who won’t meet me halfway.”

Aeri took a step closer, her voice trembling. “I want to, Y/N. I swear I do. But I’m afraid that if I let you in, you’ll see how messed up I really am. And then you’ll leave.”

“That’s not fair to me,” Y/N said, tears pooling in her eyes. “I’m standing here, ready to love you, and all you can think about is what might go wrong. Don’t you think I’m scared too? Loving you isn’t easy, Aeri. But I’m willing to fight for this. If you are.”

Aeri’s heart clenched at Y/N’s words, the raw vulnerability in her voice cutting through her defenses. She wanted to fight. She wanted to believe that they could be something more, but the fear still clawed at her, a constant reminder of everything she stood to lose.

“I’m scared of losing you,” Aeri whispered, her voice breaking. “But I’m even more scared of hurting you. Of getting hurt myself.”

“Then stop running,” Y/N said, her voice stronger now. “Because you’re hurting me and yourself more by pushing me away than you ever could by letting me in.”

Aeri’s walls crumbled in that moment, the weight of her fears giving way to something deeper. Something she couldn’t deny anymore. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at Y/N, her voice steady despite the emotion in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, the words spilling out in a rush. “I’m so sorry for pushing you away. For being too scared to see what’s right in front of me. But I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you, and I can’t keep pretending I don’t.”

Y/N’s breath caught, her own tears falling freely now. “Then show me,” she whispered, her voice soft but filled with conviction. “Stop hiding and show me.”

Aeri stepped closer, her trembling hands reaching out to cup Y/N’s face. “I will,” she promised, her voice firm despite the tears. “I’ll try. I swear.”

Y/N leaned in, her lips brushing against Aeri’s in a kiss that was both tender and desperate, as though trying to mend all the broken pieces between them. In that moment, the weight of their fears and misunderstandings melted away, leaving only the raw, unfiltered connection that had drawn them together in the first place.

For the first time in a long time, they felt like they were finally on the same page.

The days that followed weren’t perfect, but they were a start. Y/N and Aeri approached their relationship with a new sense of honesty, their walls slowly coming down. They still had their fears and doubts, but for the first time, they faced them together.

During a rare break in their schedules, they found themselves in a cozy café tucked away in a quiet corner of Seoul. Y/N stirred her latte, her gaze soft as she looked across the table at Aeri, who was fidgeting with her rings.

“You know,” Y/N began, her tone teasing, “this is the first time we’ve done something that feels… normal.”

Aeri chuckled, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush. “It’s nice,” she admitted, her voice quieter than usual. “Scary, but nice.”

Y/N reached across the table, her hand resting on Aeri’s. “We’ll figure it out,” she said, her words full of quiet confidence. “One step at a time.”

Aeri nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. For the first time in a long while, she allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could make this work.

Their newfound connection carried over into their busy lives as idols. Backstage at music shows, they exchanged secret smiles and subtle touches, careful not to draw too much attention. It wasn’t easy, balancing their public personas with their private feelings, but they found solace in knowing they weren’t alone anymore.

One evening, after a long day of rehearsals, Y/N dragged Aeri to the rooftop of her dorm building. The city stretched out below them, its lights shimmering like a sea of stars.

“I come up here when I need to clear my head,” Y/N said, leaning against the railing. “It makes everything feel… smaller. Less overwhelming.”

Aeri joined her, their shoulders brushing. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured, her gaze drifting to the horizon. “Almost as beautiful as you.”

Y/N laughed, a soft, genuine sound that made Aeri’s chest ache in the best way. “Cheesy much?”

“Maybe,” Aeri admitted, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “But it’s true.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, the cool night air wrapping around them. Y/N reached for Aeri’s hand, their fingers intertwining. In that moment, with the world at their feet, they felt invincible.

The weeks turned into months, and their bond only grew stronger. They learned to navigate the challenges of their relationship with patience and understanding, finding strength in each other even during the toughest times.

One evening, as they sat by a window overlooking the city, Aeri spoke, her voice soft but steady. “I used to think that love was a weakness,” she admitted. “Something that would hold me back. But now I see it differently.”

Y/N looked at her, curiosity flickering in her eyes. “How do you see it now?”

Aeri smiled, her gaze full of warmth. “It’s not a weakness. It’s what keeps me going. You keep me going.”

Y/N’s heart swelled at the words, a mix of joy and relief washing over her. She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Aeri’s lips. “And you keep me going,” she whispered.

They stayed like that for a while, the city lights casting a soft glow around them. It wasn’t a fairytale ending, but it was their ending and that made it perfect.

Months later, as they boarded a flight together for a joint event overseas, Y/N looked out the window, watching the clouds drift by. Aeri sat beside her, their hands resting together on the armrest.

“Do you ever think about how far we’ve come?” Y/N asked, her voice thoughtful.

“All the time,” Aeri replied, a small smile playing on her lips. “And I’m glad I stopped running.”

Y/N turned to her, a playful glint in her eyes. “Catching flights and feelings now, huh?”

Aeri chuckled, leaning her head against Y/N’s shoulder. “Yeah. But only for you.”

As the plane soared above the clouds, their hearts felt lighter than ever, free from the weight of fear and doubt. Together, they were ready to face whatever came next. Flying high, not away, but toward something beautiful.

[elllisaaa]

USE ME - J. WOOYOUNG

KINKTOBER DAY 16 - PAIN PLAY

SUMMARY : you need to work on the new track you're helping hongjoong produce for ateez, but wooyoung can't seem to be able to concentrate. though, you slowly notice that he loves it a little too much when you're mean to him.

-> pairing : bratty!wooyoung x producer!reader

-> words count : 1.8k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : dom!reader x brat!wooyoung, pain play (oviously), degradation kink, humiliation, use of 'brat', 'slut' & 'whore', dirty talk, face slapping, choking, teasing, swearing, oral (f. receiving), hair pulling, scratching

+ the way i'm depicting wooyoung does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | kinktober 2024

“- Can you focus, Wooyoung ? We’re getting nowhere.

- Yeah, sorry.”

You sighed as you asked him to record his line again. You had been here for two hours, and you barely got any work done. Every member’s recording went smoothly, but ever since Wooyoung walked into the studio, he had been distracted and didn’t follow your instructions. It was to the point you had told everyone else to go home and that you would finish it with him alone. But for some reason, the boy was restless, unable to take into account your remarks. 

“- Okay, that’s enough, come here.”

You saw him nod through the window as he put down his headphones. You rubbed your temples as you sighed, Wooyoung now standing in front of you while you were still sitting on your desk chair - it had been a long day, and dealing with this wasn’t what you had expected. Working with Wooyoung and Ateez as a whole was usually such a pleasure, you didn’t understand what was going on today. 

“- I don’t know what’s gotten into you today, but you’re making it impossible for me to do my work Wooyoung.”

He looked at you with a pout on his lips, arms crossed in front of his chest like he didn’t see where the problem was. 

“- Nothing’s happening. I don’t understand why you’re making a fuss about me when I’ve done nothing wrong.

- You’re getting annoying. We’ll try one last time, and you better follow my direction because if you don’t you can just go home and explain to Hongjoong yourself why the record’s not finished.”

Wooyoung hesitated for a few seconds, but the thought of facing his leader’s anger was a very good argument to push him to go back to the recording booth. Though, there was an explanation as to why he had been insufferable to you the whole day. He had seen how cold and rough you were when you were focused on your work, and for some reason, he found it hot. So hot that all he wanted was for you to be just as rude to him. 

So as you played the backtrack again for him to sing the last line you had to work on for the day, he messed up on purpose, holding back his smile when you cursed at him, a tingle of excitement running through his veins as you talked to him in an assertive tone. And the way you looked at him through the window, as if you wanted to kill him with your eyes, turned him on even more. 

“- You’re getting on my last nerve here Wooyoung, be fucking careful.”

Your voice was a little distorted because of the intercom, but it still had threatening undertones and Wooyoung bit down on his bottom lip as you played the recording one more time. And one more time, Wooyoung didn’t sing the right variation of the lyrics. He could see from where he was that your expression had darkened, and he loved it a little too much. 

Without even stopping the recording, you opened the door of the recording booth, stepping inside and immediately going to him, your pointer finger painfully digging into his chest, but it only made Wooyong’s pants feel tighter. 

“- You’re such a fucking annoying brat. Why won’t you cooperate ?”

The boy shrugged, trying to look unaffected, but his ears were red, and his eyes were glimmering with something you could clearly recognize as lust, want. And suddenly, it clicked into your mind - the way he would always give you eyes when you were being more commanding, the way he would always seek your attention, your praises, your comments, the way he would always look at you as if he wanted you to step on him.

“- Is it just because you can’t keep it into your pants when a pretty bitch like me is cursing you out ?”

Every bad and filthy word leaving your mouth made Wooyoung harder and he simply nodded at you, unable to form a simple sentence when his biggest dream was unfolding in front of his eyes. 

“- You cannot talk anymore ? Was it all you needed to shut the fuck up ?

- Please, you’ll need more than that to silence me.

- Oh yeah ?”

You punctuated your words by a slap, a slap that left a red imprint on his cheek, a slap that made his head swing to the other side, a slap that made him moan louder than he intended, a slap that made the both of you realize that you had cross every possible line in your professional relationship. 

“- You’re a fucking slut Wooyoung.

- But you like it.”

The cheeky smirk he still had on made your urge to ruin him, to break him down, even stronger. You slapped him again. Harder this time. And Wooyoung moaned again, a hint of desperation in his voice as he looked back at you with these fuck me, yet daring eyes again. 

“- On your knees. You need to make it up to me for being such an annoying piece of shit.”

You didn’t think that you would ever be going to tell him that, and even less that he would like it that much. But it made all the frustrations in your body leave so easily, you couldn’t stop the flow of degrading, borderline humiliating words that slipped past your lips. But Wooyoung didn’t mind it. Wooyoung, in fact, loved it all. He could already feel himself dripping precum in his underwear, the way you were looking down on him now that he was kneeling at your feet not helping him keep his cock under control. 

“- And what are you gonna do, uh ?”

The way he always needed to challenge you was not getting on your nerves anymore - it turned you on, it gave you that urge to show him who was in control, to show him that you had the power. You didn’t answer a word, letting him think that he had won for now, letting him smirk up at you like he even stood a chance. And in the blink of an eye, your hand was around his throat. Not gentle at all, but squeezing hard, really trying to restrict his breathing. Wooyoung let out a choked whine, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as you smiled at him, a sinister smile that only excited him further. 

“- Not so cocky now, right ? You’re just a fucking whore that needs to be put in their place.”

Wooyoung wanted to answer something cheeky, wanted to tease you back, but you were gripping around his throat too tight, and the way he couldn’t breathe correctly anymore sent such a thrill through his body he couldn’t think straight anymore. And your smile only grew as you saw him try to say something but only able to stumble on his words and whine, his own fingers wrapping around your wrist and keeping you against his throat. 

“- You like it when I hurt you ? Is that what gets you going ?”

You let go of his throat, letting him catch his breath, watching him choke on air. Strangely, you liked all of this too, and you could feel your panties sticking to your core even if he hadn’t laid his hands on you at all.

“- F-Fuck Y/N…”

He only earned himself one more slap when he didn’t answer your question, the sting on his red cheek making him throb in his clothes and moan again, his voice sounding more rough now.

“- Words. 

- Yes, I like it. I love it. Especially when it’s you.”

This time, you only patted his cheek as you stepped closer to him, an idea emerging in your mind. It was time for you to have your fun.

“- You can’t stop talking shit, can you ? How about I shut you up in another way ?”

Wooyoung looked at you, confused. But the moment you pulled your sweatpants down, leaving only your underwear, his eyes widened. You chuckled at his reaction, getting closer to where he was still kneeling on the floor until you could swing one of your legs over his shoulder, your core only a few inches away from his mouth. You could feel his hot and staggered breathing against your wet folds, making you shiver. And Wooyoung could smell and see how soaked you were, and all he wanted was to bury his face in between your pretty thighs. Before he could even say a word - to tease or to beg, he didn’t know - you grabbed a handful of his black hair and pushed him where you needed him the most.

“- Show me that this mouth of yours is good at other things too.”

Wooyoung didn’t need to be told twice, immediately sticking his tongue out so he could lick your slick over your underwear. He moaned against your clothed cunt, your taste invading all his senses and making him lose his mind already. He was so eager to get more of you that he didn’t even wait for your permission before he pushed your panties to the side, finally putting his tongue to good use. You bit down on your lips to conceal your noises as you watched him devour you, his nose brushing against your clit making you gasp and sigh in pleasure. 

You were still pulling hard on his hair, your nails sinking into his head but he didn’t mind. Wooyoung moaned every time you scratched him, everytime you tugged harder, adding to the slurping noises he was making. At that point, he was a mess, but you were too. He didn’t lie when he cockily said one day that he was skilled with his tongue. Because he definitely was. And you could feel your thighs tremble and your moans elevating as Wooyoung pushed his tongue inside of you - it was like he knew exactly how to make you lose your mind. 

But you were doing a pretty good job at driving him crazy too. Your fingers pulling harshly on his strands of hair made Wooyoung buck his hips into nothing, in hope it would get him to feel the tiniest bit of friction. And how he could barely breathe with the way he was eating you out like a starved man only added to the rush of pleasure going through his body and straight to his cock.

“- Don’t fucking stop.”

Wooyoung moaned in approval against you, the vibration of his every sound making the knot in your stomach tighter. When he felt your legs start to give out, he sneaked his hands to your waist, holding you up as he buried his tongue as deep as he could into your cunt, and feeling you clench around him. He lapped at your juices as you tried to come down from your high, as if he hadn’t had enough. You pulled on his hair one more time, forcing him to detach himself from your pussy and look up at you - he seemed dizzy, his gaze unfocused, his hair a mess because of your hands and half of his face covered in your juices. 

“- Are you gonna behave now ?

- Depends. Will you slap me again if I don’t ?”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

kinktober taglist (dm or comment to be added) :

ateez taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@hann1bee @rockstrrrgf @lil-kpopstan @foxinnie8 @lovelyuyu @lala-----------lala @urlocal-user @seomisaho

@d-dilemma @bath1lda @anxiousskylar @mikaelless @leeknowinggg

[sleepyangelkami]

Okay but imagine - Tommy and Maria have a daughter (reader obvs) and is shy and quiet while ellie is all outgoing n stuff eeeek they would make such a good couple

CRYBABY e.williams

☆ WORD COUNT - 7.6K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

☆ SUMMARY - reader is tommy and maria's daughter and while she had always been on the shyer side, she can't help but fall into a loop upon becoming best friends with the ellie williams. and how on earth is she going to come to terms with the sudden feelings bubbling insider her when she finds ellie has begun to pay more attention to her 'fling' cat.

☆ warnings - mushy fluff, angry love confession, kissing, loser lesbians?, stupid grumpy x sunshine trope (my absolute fave), reader is kinda innocent, slight suggestive themes, angst if you squint, mentions of cat, reader is mentioned to be shorter than ellie, tinsy bit of tommy and maria slander? mentions of bullying, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proof read 🩷

the princess of jackson. ellie williams could remember the day when she very first met her, the prized possession, the adored and loved. you.

of course, you were both only fourteen then. ellie williams stood with a small scowl on her face, standing parted from joel as he had a heated conversation with tommy, your father. she hadn't even noticed you, too caught up in her own feelings. she needed to get to the fireflies and quickly, she had no time to 'dilly dally' while waiting for tommy miller, she had decided he was nothing but a cowered, unwilling to help.

she only met the man, so naturally such an opinion hadn't stuck with her. but then, oh how she hated his stupid face. rolling her eyes over something stupid he had said, she turned her eyes to his wife, who was standing off near her, though completely engrossed in the conversation between the two older men. And then, her eyes landed on a pretty girl, standing in a woollen jumper that hung from her frame, covering her hands whole. you.

it was that moment, ellie realised, that she had fallen completely head over heels for y/n miller. she didn't know you then, you were just a child and a shy one at that. you stood practically clinging to your mother, hands fiddling with one another as you listened to your father raise his voice, nothing new, it was apparent that tommy miller had anger issues at times.

she merely stared, too embarrassed to so much as part her lips fully, simply turning her nose up. it wasn't until you turned your head that you noticed her impending stare. instantly, your face heated up like a match lit on fire. eyes widening slightly, you whipped your head back around, ignoring the way your hair now covered your face from her view but she could still... sense it, the way your face had turned beat red. if it were anyone else, she would have chuckled, threw her head back and laughed at whoever was embarrassed to make mere eye contact amiss an apocalypse. but she didn't laugh, didn't even smile. instead, her face softened into an expression you were still yet to decipher.

it didn't take long for you and ellie to meet again.

you didn't talk to her before she left, didn't even bid her a hello or a goodbye. she simply stared as you all but cowered behind your mother. your mother introduced you, however, knowing you weren't going to do it yourself. "this is y/n, y/n this is ellie." and you simply nodded as ellie wore a small smile, growing more impatient to leave the town as the seconds scraped by.

and you thought you had gotten away, weaved your way out of making a new friend, you always did hate it when maria pushed you. you were adored in jackson by all the elders, all the adults and yet if there was one thing you couldn't do, it was talk to people your age. let alone a pretty girl like ellie williams.

but when the girl reappeared soon after, your parents were just over the moon about a girl your age living so close, having such a close connection with your family as your uncle practically took her in. you could remember the first day you were told to talk to the girl, you remembered hating every single second of it.

you had to walk all the way from the main hall to her house, and for some reason the fourteen year old girl was given her own house, you weren't sure of, maybe a bad call by your father. nonetheless, you didn't think much of it, too focused on the angry mumbles tumbling from your lips as you puffed your cheeks out, reddened with the cold. you had to return a jacket, a jacket for god sake. you hadn't felt like it when tommy pulled you aside, shoving a green jacket in your hands and telling you to return it to the girl, stating she'd need it in the morning. you simply cringed, stating that your uncle could return it when he was passing home but of course, your parents would never give up a chance for you to communicate with teenagers your age, and so, they shoved you out the main hall door.

you cursed every star and constellation that she had managed to leave it behind. looking back, you weren't even sure why she had been in the hall in the first place. she did so many jobs for the town it was difficult for you to keep track. you almost grew envious of how everyone had come to adore the girl. it wasn't as if they had adored you any less, you simply envied the way she could keep the conversation flowing with the people of jackson, how she stood up tall and didn't have to glance down at her fingers every five seconds, attempting to come up with some form of a response. unlike you, that is.

puffing out another breath, you ignored the white smoke in front of you, painting an image that you had been smoking. it was almost humorous, the thought, y/n miller would have gone near no such thing. you brought a balled fist up, knocking on the door gently. almost instantly, you retracted it back to your side, chomping down on your bottom lip. you didn't know why you were so embarrassed but you could feel your face getting hot already and for the love of god it was the middle of winter in jackson.

you mentally cringed when no one answered the door, knowing you'd have to knock again. what if she had heard it and chose to neglect it? what if you came off much too annoying? what if she opened the door in the middle of knocking? what if she was in the bathroom? your thoughts were cut short by your own actions, knocking on the door once more only this time, not as softly. and when you received no answer this time, the door slowly creaked open.

eyes widening, you turned to look around as if casper the ghost would appear at any given moment. you slowly pushed the door open further, who leaves their front door unlocked in the middle of the night? you made a mental note to remind ellie to lock her doors, you know, if you ever actually gained the confidence to speak to her. swallowing harshly, you peeked your head in from the front door. "ellie?" your voice slightly raspy. "uhm, ellie!" attempting to project your voice just a little louder this time, of course failing in your attempts.

then your eyes caught it. her.

she was sitting at her desk, pen in hand and bushed brown ponytail sitting on her back. you took note of the earphones plugged into her ears. of course she hadn't heard you, you could practically hear her music blaring from where you stood all the way at her door. you had been near ellie at least a thousand times by now, she was always creeping close, her eyes always strained towards your face. you always pretended not to notice the way her eyes would stay fixated on you, the way you completely ignored her presence every single time. not on purpose, obviously, but you knew the minute you were pushed into her bubble, you'd find some way to absolutely humiliate yourself, you swore yourself against that, embarrassing yourself in front of ellie williams. and yet here you stood, awkwardly holding her jacket in your hands as you slowly entered the room. her house wasn't massive but it was very homely. shutting the door with your back facing it, you called out her name again in hopes of her somehow hearing you despite the loud music plugged into her ears.

you bit down on your bottom lip, moving closer to her. you reached your hand out, wincing knowing you were going to scare the girl however you truly did have no other choice. you softly patted her shoulder causing her to completely whip around.

you flinched as her book went tumbling to the ground, a yelp falling from her own lips as you took a step back, eyes screwed shut momentarily.

"y/n, jesus christ!" pressing a hand to her chest as she ripped the earphones out from her ears, heart thumping quickly.

despite no one scaring you, your own heart was thumping swiftly against your chest. "sorry, sorry!" instantly feeling guilt washing over you.

"you're okay." the girl chuckled, pushing the ear buds onto the table. "just scared me is all." puffing out a breath to show she was merely breathless from the scare.

"sorry, i didn't mean to." instantly falling to your knees to pick up the book that had fallen off the table. "your door was open and you had earphones on — i called your name but you didn't hear me- did you draw these?" suddenly, your breath caught in your throat, rambling being cut off as you peered down at the sketchbook in your hands, filled with mystical drawings. there was a dragon splayed across two pages along with gargoyles hiding at the corner of the pages, many other creatures you didn't even know the name to on the pages.

"uh- yeah." sitting back in her seat. her eyes were glued to yours, watching your face as your own eyes scanned across the page, face shifted into complete awe at her amazing art work. you stayed silent, eyes blown wide in complete shock. how could someone so young be so... talented?

raking your eyes over the drawing of the dragon once more, you tried to ignore how well the creature had been captured onto the single page, head tilting as you viewed such shading you thought only artists could do. "they're... amazing." breathing out as you looked back up, handing her the book as you suddenly realised you had been overstepping.

"thanks." she chuckled, taking the book out of your hands. with your eyes glued to the ground, you let her take it from your soft grasp. but when her fingers brushed against yours, you tried all that you could to not look up at her with pink flushed cheeks, simply ignoring it as it seemed she had. she placed the book back down on the table, turning in her chair to view you once more. "uhm... did you need something..?" she hadn't said it in a rude way but it was enough to send you back to reality.

"oh!" looking down at the green jacket in your hands. "uhm, maria and tommy said to give you this, you left it in the main hall." it was simply easier to call your parents by their first name in front of ellie, you didn't wish to embarrass yourself by calling them mama or daddy in front of her, it was beyond shameful so you simply stuck to their names, shooting your hand out to hand her the jacket.

"oh, thank you." grasping the jacket but this time her fingers never grazed yours. "probably gonna need this in the morning. last thing i need is to be going on patrol with no jacket." laughing softly at the very unfunny comment before tossing the jacket to the side.

your head perked up. "you're on patrol?" confused brows furrowing together.

"yeah." she squirmed in her seat. "why, something wrong with that?"

"no, no." you quickly defended, shaking your head. "it's just... you're a little young for that, no?"

she shrugged her shoulders. "nothin' i haven't seen before." you nodded your head at that, a little unsure but nonetheless, you were not one to interject. if she said she knew what she was doing, she probably did, after all she had spent more time on the road than anyone else in jackson. "hey, uh, the storm has gotten pretty bad out there." you turned your head in confusion, eyes peering out the window. she wasn't lying. snow now tumbled down outside at a much quicker pace than the small flakes that had fallen on you on your way there. "why don't you stay here for the night, probably too dangerous to walk back now anyway."

you turned your head back slowly, mind registering the words ellie had just spoken. you had never had a sleepover before, and you were sure that this wasn't a sleepover at all, but your mind couldn't help but jump in ecstasy. "uhm..." your parents wouldn't even notice, if anything, they'd be over the moon at the thought of their daughter spending time with someone her age. "are you sure you don't mind?" shuffling your feet against the wooden floor, hopping from foot to foot.

she almost laughed at you, blinking at you. " 'course not." as if you were being absurd. she stood from the seat, pushing herself towards her drawers. "you can wear some of my clothes for the night but they uh, might be a little big." she eyed you, noticing that you were shorter than her, not by a great amount but enough to make her clothes baggy on you.

"i don't mind." you smiled gently at the girl who was already grinning at you. "thank you, ellie." you weren't used to people your age being nice to you. usually, they were beyond rude which was more or less why you had put yourself in a shell. you knew you'd get nowhere in making friends so what was the point? your parents obviously thought very differently. so it was safe to say that ellie williams, a rather scary teenager, being quite kind to you was a rather foreign feeling, something inside you screaming at you, stating that she was playing some kind of a joke on you, it was a game, all a game. but the way her eyes softened when she looked at you had your knees weak and the wall you had built up slowly chipping.

she shrugged, tossing a long white shirt your way. "that's what friends are for."

you caught the t shirt. friends? the ellie williams wanted to be your friend?

that was the first sleepover of many. ellie williams was an exact opposite of you, that was the exact reason why you were the perfect match. everyone in jackson adored you as if you were their own daughter but despite that, you were rather reserved. you didn't have many friends your age, dina and jesse maybe, but you weren't close with them, not like you were with ellie. she was outgoing, bubbly, everyone adored her just as much, the only difference was that she was much more popular with the people your age. she had gone through so many girls it baffled you and now she was on the next, cat was her name, and ellie seemed infatuated by her.

but despite her going through her fair share of girls she always told you one thing, as corny as it was that you were 'her main girl' always and forever, you couldn't deny that the words had your cheeks heating up an embarrassing amount.

you were never good with people your age, not good at keeping conversations or starting them. you always had a problem with opening your mouth around them but with ellie, it was the exact opposite. she was so easy to talk to, a complete breath of fresh air in a world you never imagined yourself being happy in.

you did everything together, went everywhere together, you were practically attached to her hip by the time you were both nineteen. like now, as you stood with your hands on her shoulders in attempts to keep your balance. she was leaned down on one knee, the other propped up with your left foot placed on it, tying your shoelaces with ease. "should we check the east estate?" you questioned, fumbling with the fabric of your gloves. this wasn't a new thing, it seemed as though you always tracked around with your shoe laces untied, ellie constantly commented on it, stating that you'd someday fall and break your head open. you always rolled your eyes and called her dramatic until you actually fell over and then she'd bend down and tie them for you, despite your angry protests. today wasn't like no other, the white snow dusting across the knees of your jeans served as proof.

"jesse and dina did yesterday." she shrugged. you had been designated patrol partners upon the day of your very first patrol, you begged your parents to assign you together. they tried to get you out there, talking to other people and making new friends but after too many nights of you returning with tear stained cheeks, they decided that ellie was enough. her face suddenly contorted. "yeah we should probably check." patting the back of your calf to let you know you could bring your foot back down.

the boot on your foot crunched against the snow while you looked up at the girl as she stood, taller than you, she had grown a great deal since she was fourteen. "thought you said jesse and dina checked yesterday." following her in the snow, she knew the tracks much better than you did.

she gave you the smallest of smirks that you couldn't understand. you were so innocent, she thought, then again it was hard to be educated in a world alike their own. "they weren't doing anything except for getting in eachother's pants, sweetheart." that pretty nickname that always had your cheeks set aflame.

a mix between the pet name and the words that had fallen from her mouth as if it were nothing had your whole face a beat red. "oh." fell from your lips while the girl chuckled at you, fixing the straps of her backpack. you were thankful to be standing behind her now for you were sure that if she had been at eye level with you, she would have seen your flustered face and that was simply something you didn't need her seeing.

the east estate came into the clearing quicker than you thought, you had also finished much earlier than intended so there was nothing to do other than raid the nearby houses. "so..." you trailed off, attempting to make conversation from behind ellie, her gun in her hands as she peeked around a corner, nervous as your nonchalant figure stood behind her, gun hidden somewhere in your bag. you really were too clumsy for this job. "how are you and cat." the name rolling off in a way you didn't like, it made you almost disgusted in yourself.

"fine." she opened the last bathroom door, shoulders relaxing as she began rooting through the shelves. you made yourself busy in the bedroom that was attached to it, you couldn't imagine living in a house so big. "I told you we're not serious."

"wouldn't matter if you were." you mumbled so lowly that the girl didn't even hear it, she had just assumed that you dropped the subject altogether. the silence was swiftly cut off when you opened a box, finding a chess box inside. "oh my god!"

ellie came out from the bathroom swiftly, her gun clutched tightly between her fingers. you hadn't even noticed her demeanour slouching as she realised you were excited, not scared. "hey, weren't you lookin' for one of those?" nodding at the box of chess inside your hands.

"yeah, it's so cool!" it was a glass set, the one that you had in fact, been searching for. you adored chess, it was a way to ease the mind but you had never come across a glass set, as badly as you had wanted it. "wonder if the people who used to live here liked chess." you placed it down on the bed and moved around to the other side of the room, pulling open one of the drawers.

"what are you doin'?" leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, you turned to her baffled, confused as to what you were doing wrong. "I mean, why aren't you packin' it?"

you shrugged your shoulders, glancing back at the set. "no room in my bag." and you were travelling on feet today meaning you didn't have your horse to carry an extra bag. your own bag had been filled to the brim with both food and some medical supplies along with your gun lost somewhere, you didn't have room for a stupid chess board. besides, you were sure that if your mother saw you bring it in through the gates she would wear a disapproving face and tell you that you shouldn't be looking out for things like that, you were out there to get stuff for the town, there was no need to be so selfish.

ellies brows were furrowed. "but you wanted it." as unfair as the situation was, you simply rolled your shoulders with a small laugh.

"doesn't matter." you stated, closing the drawers. "it's not that important anyway." ellie loved tommy and maria, truly, but she couldn't deny that they were more leader than they were parents at times. they often belittled you, stated that your interests didn't matter, that you were truly just a spec in the massive town but ellie knew they had to realise you were much more than a member of jackson, you were their daughter. "should we go back now?"

ellie took a glance out the window, it was beginning to get dark. "one more house, then we can go back." to which you nodded her head and exited the bedroom. the bedroom in the next home was an exact replica except for the different sheets and the wallpaper, along with the fact that the vanity was from a different store. this made you realise that the houses were probably already furnished before they were sold. "oh, look." ellie spoke as you looked up from the magazines you were flicking through. "cat loves cats, ironic." she laughed and stare down at the necklace in her hands, a black cat pendant on the silver chain.

you moved closer towards it, it truly was pretty. it reminded you of how ellie had given you a necklace once of a pink gem heart, you still wore it around your neck every day. you ignored the rising bile in your stomach and swallowed harshly, unsure if why you suddenly felt a little hot. "why don't you bring it back to her?" looking at it over ellie's shoulder. the sudden thought of ellie standing behind cat, clasping the back of the necklace together with a smile on her face caused your head to spin, and not in a way that you liked. you couldn't understand why you were feeling like this, perhaps it was because ellie williams was your best friend and the thought of her leaving, picking someone over you, was truly bone crushing. or perhaps it was because you never really had a best friend before and you didn't wish to loose the one you had made.

"nah." plopping it back down on the table. you furrowed your brows at her, if she knew that she would like it, why not gift it to her? when ellie turned, she noticed the confused look on your face. "I told you, it's not like that." and suddenly you were hyper aware of the necklace around your neck that she had gifted you, surely you weren't like that either. then again, it didn't really count because it was for your birthday and as your best friend, she probably just felt the need to buy something for you. maybe it was pity, maybe it was guilt, you just had to accept the fact that ellie williams in no way felt that way for you. then again you didn't either, right? so what was the big deal. perhaps you were just jealous that you thought your best friend had picked a new friend, you decided to ignore it, swallowing down the annoyed feeling. "you okay?"

you swallowed, pushing your feet around. "are we ready to go back?" dodging the question completely, it was easier to do this than lie, you didn't like to lie, especially to ellie. lying that you were okay was one thing but you knew ellie, she wouldn't leave it there, she'd make you promise and you don't break promises.

ellie knew better than to start something here, now, so she simply nodded her head, pursing her lips as she picked her bag up off the ground. "yeah, lets go." you nodded your own head, making sure to fix the straps of your bag before leaving the house you were in, ready to walk back to jackson with snow crunching beneath your feet.

the walk home was quiet, not an uncomfortable silence but instead one that hazily loomed over you both, one that you were well used to by now. "so..." kicking the snow underneath her feet, ellie cleared her throat. "your mom talk to you about that party tonight?" it was a gathering in the main hall, one with alcohol so naturally ellie's brain wired itself into believing it was a party, she had convinced herself and everyone around her.

you knew better than to contradict what she was saying and instead nodded your head. "mhm." humming. "you going?" you turned to face her, nose upturned. you were always forced into these events, whether you wished to be there or not. usually, the reasoning behind this was to 'get you out there' was what your parents told you, anyway, stating that you 'needed people in your life other than ellie' you begged to differ, ellie williams was enough for you.

"probably." kicking the snow underneath her feet, you could hear something in her bag rattling, you shrugged it off for cans hitting against one another or something hollow holding small continents that didn't take up enough space. "can't leave you all alone now, can I?" and despite the fact she spoke with a grin, you nodded your head, knowing that the only reason she was actually going was, in fact, to make sure that you weren't alone. "why're you so silent today?" though you had only begun your silent spell the minute the name 'cat' was uttered from the girls lips.

you shrugged your shoulders. "jus' tired." but you couldn't wear the image from your head. cat turned around as ellie tied the necklace to her neck from behind. cat wasn't a girly girl, though, unlike you, no, she never wore skirts, had little to no jewelry and was rather tough, you supposed that had nothing to do with being girly but everything to do with your insecurities. you were shy, small in tough situations, ellie was sort of a protector, you supposed you were insecure in knowing that ellie didn't have that weight on her shoulders when she was with cat, she didn't have to worry about 'taking care of her' not in the way she did with you, you couldn't deny the guilt that begun to sprout.

"y/n." ellie chuckled, slightly tugging on the bottom stand of your hair to get your attention, you pushed your head away, gazing up at her, you hadn't noticed the way your eyes ever so slightly had begun to gloss over. god, you thought, this was beyond embarrassing. or at least, it should have been. your face should have been red raw and you shouldn't have been able to form a coherent sentence, but it was ellie you were talking to, she knew you inside out, better than you knew yourself, there truly was nothing to be embarrassed about. "get out of your head." and she knew your overthinking like the back of her hand, she knew that once set off, you fell down a not too sweet rabit hole and despite the fact she had absolutely no idea what you were thinking about, she could tell that expression from anywhere, in desperate need of an escape, she provided you with one.

"sorry." you spoke lowly, eyes gazing down at the wet patches on the knee of your jeans, from when you had fallen in the snow beforehand.

"nothin' to be sorry for, angel." head turned upwards as the gates of jackson came into her view. "i'm gonna tell joel to come too, you think your mom and dad need anything?"

you assumed joel would be coming anyway, seeing as tommy was his brother, but you hadn't known for sure, joel wasn't exactly the most reliable man you'd ever met, despite the fact he was your uncle. "doubt it but you should tell him to ask daddy anyway."

you both entered the gates of jackson, smiling to jesse as he took your bag off your back without a word. "will do." ellie turned, a smile slowly curving up on her lips, but before you could bask in her angelic features, she was stumbling backwards, hands pushing out to hold herself and... cat up. cat had thrown her arms around her as if she were a long distant girlfriend, meeting her in an airport, ellie's own hands came down to her waist to stablize her, you suddenly felt the bile rise to your throat, you were going to be sick.

as your breathing turned shallow, your mouth dry and cold, you ignored the way your eyes suddenly stung and simply turned around, you couldn't face it, the sight of them had become too much. you could vaguely remember hearing your name being called from behind you, though you couldn't remember if it were jesse, ellie or even cat who had called it, one task at hand, getting home.

luckily for you, your house wasn't mere minutes from the gates so you arrived home rather briskly. the only downside to this, your eyes had become red rimmed and it had not yet wore off, your mother also stood inside the kitchen with a woman named donna, a lovely woman who was helping out with tonight's gathering. "hey sweet-" she cut herself off, noticing the small tears in your eyes. "what happened?"

you turned, embarrassment filling your face. "I- uhm, cut my knee really bad, gonna go up to the bathroom and clean it." you were a bad liar, a terrible one even but what else was there to say? you couldn't even decipher why you were sad yourself. you couldn't possibly be... jealous? could you? no. not a chance.

"show me a look." she almost demanded, voice still as soft as honey.

"no- no, it's okay." already halfway up the stairs as your concerned mother stood next to a confused donna. "it doesn't even hurt that bad, i'll be down soon." and without waiting for another word, you had pushed yourself right up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door.

for as long as you could remember, your bathroom had been a solitude for you, a safe haven. sure, your bedroom had a lock but it wasn't used unless emergencies so you knew better than to use it every time you were upset, which proved to be often as you grew up and realised just how utterly sensitive you were. you sat on the bathroom floor, breathing irregular but you squeezed your eyes shut, pushing your head onto your knees and wondered, what was all of this even from? surely, you weren't that upset just because you thought you weren't ellie's favourite anymore.

whatever the case, all you knew was that the tears didn't stop until later that night when you sat in front of your vanity, applying little blotches of make up.

you weren't typically a make up girl but you knew you had to do something to get rid of these stupid tear stains on your cheeks. finally, you had fixed your face enough to know that no one, not even ellie williams herself, would be able to spot how hard you cried that morning. then, you slipped on your dress that your mother had picked out for you.

(the dress bc i want you guys to be able to see the idea i had with this)

and in less than a half hour, you stood inside the main hall, a bowl of treats in your hands as you went around to the younger ones, passing them out, also passing them out to the adults who stared a little too long, making their longing and shame both very apparent. you didn't mind however, smiling sweetly before offering them one to which they greedily dug in.

you spoke to a lot of people that night, stopped to conversate with some that you wouldn't have if you were under different circumstances. you could feel eyes piercing into you, the ones belonging to giddy teenagers who, for some reason, found enjoyment in what you could only guess was talking about you. you didn't much care for the teenagers of jackson, sure, you adored ellie williams with your whole heart and you found comfort in dina and jesse, an on and off couple from the minute you met them but other than that, you didn't really have friends. they made you feel different, a kind of different that made you question if there were something wrong with you, there had to be, if so many people truly could not get along with you. you talked to the elderlies, to the adults, even to the kids, but the teenagers... the teenagers you steered clear of.

you spoke to dina and jesse earlier that night, however, they had run off the minute the alcohol that they shouldn't have been drinking hit their system and suddenly they had disappeared into thin air. your eyes searched the room as you bit on your thumb, well aware of the teenage laughter behind you, aimed directly at you.

where was ellie? it was approaching eleven o clock, some people had headed home, the couples too lazy to wait any longer, the parents who's kids needed their rest, some of the elderlies who needed sleep just as much as the kids. ellie said she'd be here, the thought of her missing it because she and cat had some sort of run in made your stomach sick and yet it was the only thing you could think of, it had to be the only excuse. i mean, cat was no where to be spotted either.

you sat at one of the tables, chin resting in the palm of your hand, your shoes had begun to get uncomfortable and your hair seemed too tight, you were sure a little mascara had smudged beneath your eyes too, despite the many times you rubbed it away with your finger. ellie wasn't one to not stick to what she told you, she wasn't one to stand you up either. but you knew how it was, cat was hers and she was cats despite the many times she told you they weren't, you knew that, so why were you disappointed to think she chose her over you?

the thought of ellie hugging her tight, kissing her lips, even down her neck, you could feel your stomach turning. you wanted nothing more than to get the image out of your head. to your luck, or maybe not, you were brought back to life with a tap on your shoulder. "y/n, hey!" that was a voice you recognised all too well, your stomach turned even more than it already had. was there anything that was going good for you that night?

you turned around, standing up as if you were nervous to be in the girls presence, she giggled at this. "hi, kady." kady was a pretty girl, one that was beyond popular, for reasons you were still unsure about. sure, she was pretty, she had a large circle of friends but to this day you couldn't decipher why people liked her. she was a cruel teenage girl, one who invalidated others to make her own head bigger than it already was, truly, it was a surprise to you that she could even fit in the door.

upon the years that you grew up in jackson, kady had always treated you as though you were someone below her. and maybe you were, you had grown used to the way she acted around you, her unacceptable behaviour towards you had grown seemingly acceptable, simply because you wouldn't stand up for yourself. "having fun by yourself?" she had a grin on her face, one that would have looked polite and sweet but truly was nothing other than conceited. "oh gosh, i don't mean it like that." quick to correct herself noticing the way your face had fallen. "I just mean... you know, i thought ellie would spare some time away from cat for the evening but i guess not."

you simply shrugged your shoulders, not wishing to buy into this any longer. "she's probably just busy." mumbling. you always felt yourself become smaller around kady, as if you were truly a child once more and she was picking on you once more, causing you to go running home to your mother with dewey eyes, they brushed it off with you being too sensitive.

"probably with cat, if you know what i mean." wriggling her brows at you suggestively, you simply bit your lip and turned away. "i was kinda surprised when they got together, i always thought you guys would get together."

your head snapped towards her at that statement. "what?" suddenly your breath grew short. "why would you think that?" you had a secret, one no one could know, not even the pages of your diary, one you had begun to accept that very morning, now, however, you wished nothing more than to flush it down the drain.

"come on, y/n, we're not blind." rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her black tank top. "you follow her around like a lost puppy, it's pathetic." your gut twisted, her words forming a knot in your stomach. "i mean, it's probably for the best she's with cat, i don't think anyone would be able to stick a relationship with you."

you looked up, ignoring the way your eyes annoyingly began to sting. you hated how sensitive you were, you were a crybaby, an annoying, pathetic crybaby. "kady can you just... leave me alone." your voice broke, as did your heart, shattering right on the floor in that very second.

"god, do you hear yourself?" she was laughing, as if any of this was truly funny. "face it, y/n, you're never going to be anything other than the irritating little girl you were as a kid, you're never going to change, you're never going to get someone like ellie williams to love someone like you." what did that even mean? your mind spun, your head felt queasy, your eyes hazy.

you didn't say anything else, you weren't going to entertain it, you pushed past a laughing kady, practically throwing her head back at the state you were in now.

you pushed past everyone else, ignoring the strange looks you got at the sight of your tear stained cheeks, ignoring the way your throat begun to hurt an abnormal amount. only one thing in your mind.

"you're never going to get someone like ellie williams to love someone like you."

it rung through your mind causing your whole body to shift, you wanted to go home, get to bed and cry. you wanted to cry your heart out and ignore ellie williams for eternity. why? because you knew that you had already fallen deeply in love with her and there wasn't even the slightest possibility she felt some way remotely alike that to you. you blamed yourself, not her, but that didn't mean you could ever face her again.

just as you though the night couldn't possibly get any worse, already drowned in the heavy rain pattering against your skin, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. you walked directly into something, or more specifically, someone. arms instantly reached out, stabilizing you both. you turned your nose up, just about to apologise for your rudeness before you caught sight of who it was. "y/n, what-" you cut the brunette girl off before she could speak anymore.

"where were you?!" your hands pushed her back and ellie stumbled backwards, stunned at your actions with wide eyes and mouth fallen agape. "you told me you'd be there and you weren't! you told me you would!" she couldn't understand why you were so mad and why your face had been covered in mascara and ugly fat tears that clouded your pretty eyes.

"y/n, i'm sorry i didn't think it would be a big deal-" attempting to walk closer to you once more. "I was with cat and-"

"of course you were!" taking your own steps back, ellie's brows furrowed in confusion. "you're always with s-stupid cat!"

ellie couldn't understand where all of this was coming from, she thought you liked cat for you had gushed over how sweet she was a number of times before she and ellie were ever even a thing. "y/n, i'm sorry!" she pushed herself towards you but before you could get away, her hands were falling on your forearms. "i should have been there, i know, i'm sorry, i messed up."

you shook your head, ignoring the way your tears had mixed with the heavy rain pattering against your frail skin. "y-you picked her." your words just above a whisper and due to the heavy rain, ellie had hardly heard you.

"what?" sudden confusion washing over her. ellie was a girl of her word but it wasn't rare for her to not show up to things, she always apologised profusely and did everything in her power to make it up to you, what was rare, however, was this reaction sprouted from you.

you turned your head, sighing heavily and squeezing your eyes shut, you wanted to be at home, in bed. "it doesn't matter." hands moving to wipe your face, ignoring the way ellie's own hands fell from your arms, causing instant warmth to be retracted. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry." suddenly, you felt as though it were all your fault.

ellie was your best friend, albeit, just a friend. she owed you nothing. and you had no place to be this angry with her for being with someone when you were nothing. "what- no, no, why are you sorry?" you shook your head once more, taking a step back. she wasn't having it. she was in front of you again in an instant, her hands coming down to take in your face.

silence washed over you both, the only sound to be heard was the constant patter of rain against the ground beneath you and your breaths that had grown slightly heavier now that you were so close. her warm hands completely contradicted your freezing face, a beautiful contrast as they slowly caressed your pretty skin. "talk to me, angel." her words a soft lull. "don't shut me out."

your mind was racing as ellie williams stood exactly where you wanted her, where you needed her. but would you risk everything you've ever created with her for something she may not even have thought about before? no, you told yourself, you couldn't. but the louder, the stronger, part of yourself screamed at you to. "i can't say it." you opted for, mouth scrunching in distaste as your voice wobbled like a child. an absolute crybaby.

ellie shook her head, auburn locks shaking with it. "yes you can, baby." thumbs moving against your skin. "say the words and i'll make the sentences if i have to just... say something." and the way her own voice cracked, the way her desperate walls began to fall down, suddenly, you wondered if she already knew. she had to have. did she think the same way you did? had she already had this conversation a thousand times in her head like you did? did she imagine this very scenario a million times over just alike you did?

suddenly, your head felt light.

suddenly, your breath slowed.

suddenly, your thoughts fell right out of your mind.

suddenly, her lips looked so sweet.

suddenly, your own her on hers.

you pushed your head upwards, your lips crashing into her own. her hands instantly fell to your waist, holding you. your own hands were brought up, sure the cloth of your sleeves were still stuck to your hands but you didn't care, for you would have much rathered to hold her face no matter the situation. slowly, the tears vanished as your lips moved against her own, you melted into her, in a way that you had never melted before, you were a puddle. ellie took over in an instant, her face pushed against yours, lips moving hasitly as if she was scared you'd disappear.

however, you eventually pulled away for air, your lungs squeezed together as you panted against her lips, one hand holding her cheek, the other at the back of her neck. you looked up at her with your pretty doe eyes, a smile soon formed on her lips as they curved upwards. "just so you know." she panted, too out of breath. "i'd choose you." lips pushing against yours for a gentle peck. "a million times over."

that night was filled with a thousand more kisses and a gift from ellie, surprisingly enough. a certain glass chess set sitting a top her bed as she grinned at you. it was like that. not with cat but with you.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[finchyclarkemd]

A ray of sunshine and a thundercloud

~Fluff~

Mornings in our shared apartment always started the same way: with Arthur being insufferably cheerful and me regretting every single life choice that led to this moment.  

“Good morning, sunshine!” Arthur chirped as he practically danced into the kitchen, his ridiculous fuzzy socks sliding across the tile. “It’s a beautiful day! The birds are singing, the coffee’s fresh, and—”  

“Too loud,” I muttered, hunched over my steaming mug like a gremlin. “Too bright. Too you.”  

Arthur only grinned, completely undeterred by my suffering. He was always like this—obnoxiously happy in the mornings, like some overenthusiastic golden retriever in human form. And somehow, the universe had decided to curse me by making us roommates.  

Chris and George, our other roommates, shuffled in next, looking about as dead inside as I felt. Chris flopped onto a chair, grumbling something unintelligible, while George fumbled with the coffee pot like it was his last lifeline.  

Arthur, on the other hand, was already cracking eggs into a pan, humming some upbeat tune under his breath. The scent of butter filled the kitchen, and even though I wanted to be annoyed, my stomach betrayed me with a quiet grumble.  

“I made extra,” Arthur said, sliding a plate in front of me. “Since I know you forget to feed yourself like a proper human.”  

I glared at him over the rim of my coffee cup. “I do eat.”  

“Instant ramen and iced coffee don’t count as a balanced diet.”  

Chris made a noise of agreement, still half-asleep. George just nodded, sipping his coffee like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.  

I huffed but picked up my fork anyway. Arthur’s cooking was annoyingly good, and I wasn’t about to let my grumpiness stop me from eating.  

Arthur beamed, plopping into the chair across from me. “See? You do like me.”  

“I tolerate you,” I corrected.  

“Same thing.”  

I stabbed my eggs with a little more aggression than necessary. “You’re the worst.”  

“And yet,” Arthur said, resting his chin on his hand, “you haven’t moved out.”  

Chris snorted. George smirked. I scowled.  

Damn him and his sunshine.

Arthur was far too smug for someone who had just barely avoided getting stabbed with a fork. He knew exactly how to push my buttons, and worse—he enjoyed it.  

I ignored him and focused on eating, hoping he’d get bored and turn his relentless positivity on someone else. Chris, maybe. Or the potted plant by the window. But Arthur wasn’t one to give up so easily.  

“You know,” he said, tapping his fork against his plate, “I read somewhere that people who act all grumpy and broody actually have the softest hearts.”  

I shot him a deadpan look. “You should read better books.”  

Chris let out a wheezy laugh, finally coming to life as his coffee kicked in. George just shook his head, muttering, “You’re really pushing your luck, Arthur.”  

Arthur gasped, placing a dramatic hand on his chest. “What? I’m just observing! I mean, think about it—Y/N pretends to hate everything, but she still eats the food I make, puts an extra blanket on the couch when I fall asleep there, and—”  

I slammed my fork down. “Don’t.”  

Arthur grinned. “—and she saved a spider last night instead of killing it.”  

Chris choked on his coffee. George looked at me like I’d betrayed everything I stood for. “You saved a spider?”  

I groaned. “I didn’t save it. I just… relocated it.”  

Arthur beamed, looking far too pleased with himself. “My point stands.”  

Chris wiped away a fake tear. “I never thought I’d see the day.”  

“I hate all of you,” I muttered, standing up and grabbing my plate to put in the sink. But just before I could turn away, Arthur reached out and plucked a crumb off my sweater.  

I froze.  

“You had something,” he said softly, his fingers barely brushing against me before he pulled away. It was nothing, just an absentminded gesture, but my brain short-circuited anyway.  

Arthur smiled, the kind of easy, genuine smile that could melt glaciers. “See? You don’t hate us that much.”  

I scowled, shoving my plate into the sink harder than necessary. “You are the worst.”  

Arthur only laughed, the sound warm and bright. “And yet,” he teased, eyes glinting, “you’re still here.”  

Damn him.

For the rest of the morning, I did my best to ignore Arthur and his relentless cheerfulness. Unfortunately, Arthur had made it his life’s mission to be impossible to ignore.  

By the time we had all finished eating and migrated into the living room, he was already plotting his next attack. Chris had sprawled across the couch with his phone, George had claimed the armchair like a king on his throne, and I was about to retreat to my room when Arthur suddenly gasped.  

“Oh, no,” he said, clutching his chest like he’d been mortally wounded.  

I froze. “What.”  

“I just realised,” he continued dramatically, flopping onto the couch beside me, “you haven’t smiled today.”  

Chris snorted. “Dude, she doesn’t smile any day.”  

“That’s not true,” Arthur countered. “I’ve seen it. It’s rare, like a solar eclipse, but it happens.” He turned to me, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.”  

I stared at him. “No, you won’t.”  

Arthur grinned. “Oh, I absolutely will.”  

Before I could escape, he poked my cheek.  

I slapped his hand away. “What are you, a five-year-old?”  

Arthur ignored the insult and just kept going—lightly poking my arm, my shoulder, my side—until I was practically vibrating with irritation.  

Chris was wheezing. George watched like this was the most entertainment he’d had all week.  

“Arthur,” I warned.  

“Yes?” he said, still grinning.  

“Stop.”  

“Nope.”  

And then—before I could react—he tickled my side.  

A noise escaped me that I refused to acknowledge as a laugh.  

Chris straight-up fell off the couch. George covered his mouth like he’d witnessed something sacred.  

Arthur gasped, looking utterly triumphant. “Was that a giggle?!”  

I smacked his arm. “No, it wasn’t.”  

“Oh my God.” Arthur clutched his heart. “You’re capable of joy.”  

I was going to kill him. Right here. Right now.  

Chris, still half on the floor, gasped through his laughter. “Do it again!” ��

Arthur made a move to try, but I launched myself off the couch before he could, retreating behind the armchair like it was a fortress. “I swear, if you come near me, I will throw you out the window.”  

Arthur just grinned, resting his chin in his hand like he had won something. “Worth it.”  

Chris was still laughing. George just shook his head, amused. “Man,” he said, sipping his coffee, “you two are ridiculous.”  

I glared at Arthur, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up my neck. “I hate you.”  

Arthur winked. “And yet,” he said, smug as hell, “you’re still here.”  

Damn him.

For the rest of the day, Arthur looked way too pleased with himself. Every time I so much as glanced in his direction, he’d flash me that smug, stupid grin—like he had unlocked some great secret about me.  

I ignored him. Or at least, I tried to.  

By the time evening rolled around, Chris and George had ordered takeout, and we were all spread across the living room, eating straight from the containers like the functional adults we definitely weren’t.  

Arthur, still riding the high of his so-called victory, was humming to himself as he twirled noodles around his chopsticks. It was maddening.  

I pointed at him with my fork. “If you don’t stop smiling at me like that, I will personally end your entire existence.”  

Arthur grinned wider. “I knew it. You did giggle earlier.”  

Chris cackled. “Bro, just admit it, she loves you.”  

I shot him a murderous glare. “I do not.”  

Arthur gasped, dramatically clutching his chest. “Ouch. Right in the heart.”  

“You don’t have a heart,” I muttered. “Just an endless supply of obnoxious energy.”  

Arthur, still grinning, rested his chin in his hand. “Well, if I did have a heart, you’d be my favourite grump in it.”  

Chris choked on his food. George raised a brow. I? I wanted to die.  

Heat prickled up my neck, but I refused to let him win. I took a slow, deliberate bite of my food, keeping my expression blank. “I hope your pillow is warm on both sides tonight.”  

Arthur gasped. “Take that back.”  

“No.”  

Chris was practically on the floor laughing. “You guys are so weird. Just get married already.”  

I threw a napkin at his face.  

Arthur, ever the menace, just smiled wider. “Aw,” he teased. “You like me.”  

I huffed, crossing my arms. “I tolerate you.”  

Arthur winked. “And yet—”  

“If you say ‘you’re still here’ one more time, I will throw you out the window.”  

Arthur laughed, golden and warm, and for some infuriating reason, I didn’t actually hate the sound of it.

The next few days passed in a blur of shared moments and quiet, increasingly complicated interactions. Arthur was still his usual, annoyingly sunny self, and I was still… well, me. Grumpy. Cynical. Determined to keep my walls up. But there was a shift, subtle at first.  

It started one evening when Chris and George were out, and it was just the two of us in the apartment. I was curled up on the couch, half-watching a movie, half-sulking about the stress of the week. I didn’t expect Arthur to be in my space, not tonight.  

But he was.  

“Hey,” Arthur said, his voice gentle but still full of that irritating cheer. “I made you some tea.”  

I blinked at him, caught off guard by the simple act. I hadn’t asked for anything. He didn’t need to do that.  

“You don’t have to,” I muttered, not wanting to admit I was touched by the gesture.  

He smiled, like he’d already seen through me. “I know. But I thought you might like it.” He handed me the mug, warm steam rising from it. “It’s chamomile. It’s good for grumps like you.”  

I rolled my eyes but took the mug anyway. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had made me tea without asking for anything in return, especially not Arthur. He wasn’t that type. He had his own motives, didn’t he?  

“Thanks,” I said, my voice a little quieter than usual.  

Arthur didn’t say anything at first. Instead, he perched on the armrest of the couch, the space between us charged with something I couldn’t quite name. “You know,” he started, voice casual, “you don’t always have to be mad at the world.”  

I snorted. “And you don’t always have to be happy about it, either.”  

Arthur chuckled, his warmth radiating toward me. “I guess you’re right. But I like to think of it this way—if I’m the only one willing to smile, maybe I can get you to crack eventually.”  

“Not happening,” I said, lifting the mug to my lips.  

Arthur’s gaze softened, but I didn’t see it. I was too busy pretending that I wasn’t aware of how close he was. How the scent of his shampoo—the fresh, citrusy smell—kept drifting over, making it hard to concentrate.  

For a long moment, he just sat there, watching me drink. It felt strange. The air was a little too still, like we were both waiting for something to break. I couldn’t figure out what, but my chest tightened, and I didn’t know whether it was from irritation or something else entirely.  

Arthur cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “You don’t have to be alone, you know.”  

I froze.  

It was such a quiet statement, so simple and without the usual teasing or humour that Arthur wrapped himself in. And somehow, it made everything feel too real.  

“I’m not alone,” I said quickly, a little too sharply. “I’m fine.”  

“Are you?” Arthur asked, his voice low now, a touch of vulnerability slipping through the cracks.  

I didn’t respond right away. I couldn’t. His words lingered in the air, and the space between us suddenly felt too small. Too intimate.  

“I know it’s hard,” he added, quieter now. “But you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. Not anymore.”  

I turned my head sharply, meeting his eyes for the first time in a long while. His gaze was softer than I expected, more earnest, and for a fleeting moment, I felt the weight of something I didn’t understand—but wanted to.  

I swallowed hard. “I’m fine.”  

Arthur didn’t push. He just nodded, taking a slow breath and sitting back a little, as if giving me the space I needed.  

But there was something in his eyes that stayed with me long after he returned to his usual cheerful self. Something that hinted at a patience, a quiet understanding, I hadn’t been prepared for.  

The next few days were much like before. Arthur still smiled too much, and I still grumbled at everything. But now… now, there was this quiet undercurrent between us. It wasn’t much. A brush of fingers when we passed by. A shared look when something happened that only the two of us understood. And, most surprisingly, a part of me that started to soften—not because I wanted to, but because it felt right.  

It wasn’t love yet. At least, I didn’t think so.  

But as I found myself catching his gaze more often, as I started to notice little things—the way his smile reached his eyes when he saw me, how he made sure I had enough blankets when I fell asleep on the couch, how he always checked in when he thought I was having a bad day—I realised I was no longer so sure of my own defences.  

One evening, as we sat on the couch watching a movie—something ridiculously cheesy that I’d never admit to enjoying—Arthur, once again, leaned close.  

"Hey," he said softly, his voice barely a whisper against the background noise. "Thanks for being here. Even when you're being all grumpy."  

I felt a warmth bloom in my chest, an unexpected feeling I couldn’t name. "You're impossible," I muttered, but it lacked the usual bite.  

Arthur just smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Maybe."  

And, just for a moment, I let myself feel it—the soft, slow pull toward him that I had been resisting.  

Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn’t have to do everything alone.  

And maybe, just maybe, I didn’t mind him being around as much as I pretended.  

But I wasn’t ready to admit that yet. Not out loud.  

For now, I just took a deep breath and let it happen, because sometimes, the best things in life didn’t need to be rushed.

The days blurred into each other, marked by small, seemingly insignificant moments that, in hindsight, seemed to form the foundation of something I didn’t quite understand yet. Arthur’s persistent cheerfulness continued, but I found myself no longer bothered by it. Instead, it was almost... comforting. Like a steady rhythm in the background of my chaotic world.  

It happened one rainy afternoon when I had retreated to my room, curling up with a book and a blanket. I didn’t particularly feel like talking to anyone, but when I heard a knock at the door, I knew it was Arthur before he even spoke.  

“Hey,” he called through the door, his voice laced with that familiar warmth. “You good in there?”  

I hesitated, torn between my desire to be left alone and the quiet longing I didn’t want to acknowledge. I could have ignored him, but the thought of Arthur on the other side, just wanting to make sure I was okay, stopped me.  

“Yeah,” I replied, my voice rough from being holed up alone all afternoon. “Just reading.”  

There was a soft chuckle from the other side of the door. “I know you’re grumpy, but you should get some air. It’s nice outside.”  

I narrowed my eyes, looking out the window at the grey, drizzly sky. “Nice?”  

Arthur didn’t respond right away, but I heard the faint sound of his footsteps moving closer. And then, to my surprise, the door creaked open, revealing him standing there, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  

“I meant the weather for you,” he said with a wink. “I was going to bring you some tea, but I guess you already have that covered.”  

I didn’t know how to respond. I knew what he was doing—trying to coax me out of my mood again, trying to get me to stop being so closed off. The thing was, it was working, and that frustrated me.  

“I don’t need fresh air,” I muttered, glancing back at the book in my hands. It felt like the easiest way to avoid looking at him.  

But then Arthur did something unexpected. He sat down on the edge of the bed, not too close, but close enough that I could feel his presence. It was a strange thing—having someone be there, without expectation. I wasn’t used to it.  

“You know,” he started, his voice a little quieter now, “you don’t always have to push people away.”  

I stiffened. “I’m not pushing anyone away.”  

“You are,” he replied gently. “You think I don’t see it?”  

I wanted to argue, to tell him that he didn’t know anything about me, about how I’d learned to be alone because people always let you down. But I didn’t. The words were stuck in my throat.  

“I don’t want to push you away,” I said, almost too softly for him to hear.  

Arthur didn’t say anything at first, but there was a shift in the air, a soft tension that wasn’t uncomfortable, just… real. He didn’t push me for more than that, though. He simply sat there, as if he understood the fragile line I was walking.  

And then, without warning, he stood up and walked to the window, his back to me. “The rain’s kind of nice, though. Makes everything feel like it’s slowing down.”  

I couldn’t help it. I followed his gaze to the drizzling rain outside, the soft rhythm of it hitting the windowsill. There was something peaceful about it, something quiet in the way the world seemed to hold its breath.  

I didn’t know what made me say it, but it slipped out before I could stop myself. “You’re right. It’s… calming.”  

Arthur turned back to me, his eyes soft. “See? You don’t always have to be the storm. Sometimes it’s okay to just… let yourself be still.”  

There it was again. That quiet kindness in his words, that gentle understanding I wasn’t used to. I wanted to brush it off, to tell him to stop trying to fix me, but something inside me resisted. I didn’t want to be fixed. I just… wanted someone to see me.  

And Arthur, annoyingly enough, did.  

“I’m not good at that,” I said, almost like an apology. “Being still.”  

He smiled at me, the kind of smile that made my chest ache in a way I couldn’t explain. “It takes practice,” he said simply. “But you don’t have to do it alone.”  

The room felt heavy for a moment, thick with all the things left unsaid. I wanted to say something back, something that would push him away and protect the walls I’d built for so long. But I couldn’t.  

Instead, I just nodded, my eyes meeting his for a second too long. I quickly looked away, uncomfortable with how vulnerable the moment felt.  

Arthur didn’t press me. Instead, he reached for his phone from the bedside table and held it up with that same mischievous grin I’d come to recognise.  

“Alright,” he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Movie night. You can pick this time. And no grumbling about it.”  

I raised an eyebrow. “You want me to pick? You’re asking the wrong person.”  

“I know,” he said, sitting back down on the bed, an unbothered smile on his face. “But I trust you to pick something terrible and watch it with me.”  

I scoffed, but there was no heat behind it. “You’re impossible.”  

“And yet,” Arthur said, his tone teasing, “you’re still here.”  

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. There was something in the way he said it, the way he knew it—he knew I was staying.  

Maybe I wasn’t ready to admit it, but slowly, piece by piece, I was starting to understand that the walls I’d built so carefully were crumbling, one quiet moment at a time. And, despite myself, I wasn’t as angry about it as I thought I would be.  

Maybe—just maybe—I didn’t mind Arthur’s constant presence as much as I’d thought.  

But I wasn’t about to say it out loud just yet.  

So, instead, I picked a movie. And for the first time in a long while, I allowed myself to be still, sitting beside him on the couch, letting the quiet moments stretch between us like a slow burn I wasn’t sure I was ready for. But, maybe, just maybe, I wanted to be.

The days that followed seemed to stretch on in a haze of quiet moments, soft smiles, and the constant hum of unspoken tension between Arthur and me. I could feel it now—the shift, the subtle tug that pulled me toward him. It was like an invisible thread, winding tighter each time he smiled, each time he looked at me like I was something worth caring about.  

But I was still trying to hold myself back. I wasn’t ready to give in to whatever this was. To feel the weight of something I wasn’t sure I could handle. But the more time we spent together, the harder it became to resist.  

One evening, after a particularly long day, the apartment was quiet. George and Chris had gone out again, leaving Arthur and me alone. It wasn’t unusual. The others had been in and out for hours, and I’d found myself sinking into the couch beside Arthur without even realising how much time had passed.  

We were watching something ridiculous—one of those awful rom-coms where the characters were just too perfect, too full of unrealistic optimism. The kind that always made me roll my eyes.  

But tonight, I wasn’t rolling my eyes. I was staring at the screen, yes, but I was also aware of Arthur sitting next to me. His arm was pressed against mine, so close I could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of our shirts.  

“I can’t believe you’re still watching this,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, though it came out quieter than I intended.  

Arthur grinned, his gaze flickering from the screen to me. “I don’t mind it.”  

“Of course you don’t.” I snorted, nudging him with my elbow. “You’re way too easy to please.”  

His eyes softened, a subtle shift in his expression, the kind of thing most people wouldn’t notice. But I did. And for a split second, everything else faded—the movie, the apartment, even the world outside. All that was left was the quiet hum of his presence, and the way he was looking at me.  

Arthur didn’t respond right away. Instead, he shifted closer, his knee brushing against mine. The contact was electric, making the space between us feel impossibly small. I could feel his breath against my cheek now, could smell that same citrus scent I’d grown strangely fond of.  

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low, almost hesitant.  

I turned my head slightly, my breath catching in my throat. He was so close now, too close for comfort. His eyes locked on mine, a glint of something in them that I didn’t quite understand, but I felt it in my chest.  

For a moment, everything seemed to still. The silence in the room deepened, and I could hear the soft beat of my own heart. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pull away or lean in. Every instinct screamed at me to run, to pull back and keep my distance. But another part of me—the part that had been holding itself together with nothing but stubbornness—was ready to let go.  

Arthur’s hand, almost tentatively, brushed against mine. It was a simple touch, but it felt like everything. His fingers slid against mine, the contact gentle but firm, like he was asking for permission in the softest way possible.  

My breath caught, and I swore I could feel the moment shift. There was no going back.  

“Arthur…” I whispered, but the word felt like it came from somewhere far away.  

His gaze flickered between my eyes and my lips. I could feel the tension between us building, a magnet pulling us together, inch by inch.  

And then…  

“Guys, we’re back!”  

Chris’s voice—loud, unmistakable, and completely timing it perfectly—broke the bubble between us.  

Arthur jumped back like I’d burned him. I nearly stumbled off the couch, heart hammering in my chest. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, the overwhelming sense of what could have been that I had to push away as quickly as possible.  

“Seriously?” I muttered, both relieved and frustrated beyond belief.  

Chris and George appeared in the doorway, grinning like they knew exactly what had been going on.  

“Didn’t think we’d be interrupting a moment, but I guess we did,” Chris said, his voice laced with mischief.  

I shot him a glare that could’ve melted ice, but George only shrugged, oblivious. “Hey, we’re just here to ruin everything. It’s a talent.”  

Arthur, ever the good sport, just chuckled awkwardly, shifting on the couch. “Yeah, um, just… wasn’t what it looked like.” His voice was too high, a little too eager to convince everyone—himself included—that nothing had happened.  

But I knew it had. I could feel the weight of it in the air, that strange, unsaid thing that had almost shifted between us.  

“Sure, sure,” Chris said, dropping his bag on the floor and flopping onto the couch. “Whatever you say, man.” He wiggled his eyebrows at us both. “Anyway, you guys got any snacks? I’m starving.”  

Arthur’s eyes flickered to me quickly, an apologetic look that I couldn’t quite decipher. And though I wanted to be annoyed—wanted to be really annoyed—I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips.  

I took a deep breath, pushing the confusing rush of emotions away. “I’m not making snacks for you,” I said, standing up from the couch. “You’re on your own, pal.”  

Arthur stood as well, following me to the kitchen. “You’re seriously not going to make us snacks?”  

“Maybe not you,” I muttered, more to myself than to him, as I reached for the chips.  

Arthur’s smile softened, a glint of something warmer in his eyes. “That’s fair,” he said with a grin. “But maybe I’ll let you make it up to me later.”  

I glanced at him over my shoulder, my heart thudding unexpectedly. “Yeah, maybe you will.”  

We stood in that quiet kitchen for a moment longer than necessary, both of us avoiding the words that were just on the tip of our tongues. The kiss that was still hanging in the air, unspoken and unfinished.  

But for now, the only sound was the crunch of chips, the hum of the fridge, and the overwhelming feeling that this—whatever this was—was far from over. And maybe, just maybe, it was only just beginning.  

The weeks that followed were a blur of quiet moments and lingering tension, the kind that wrapped itself around us in the most unexpected ways. Arthur’s relentless optimism still had the power to both annoy and soothe me in equal measure, but something else had started to shift between us. There were no grand declarations, no sudden bursts of confessions—just slow, steady changes that built up until I could feel them in my bones.

I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened. Maybe it was the way Arthur had started leaving small notes for me to find—silly little things like "You’ve got this" or "You’re more than just grumpy." Or maybe it was the way we began to share moments that weren’t about being together as friends or roommates anymore. Late nights, just the two of us, watching movies with our legs tangled on the couch, our arms brushing as we reached for the same popcorn bowl.

We’d stopped hiding behind our walls, both of us letting the other in without really acknowledging it. But I couldn’t ignore the way his touch felt different now—the way his smile lingered longer, the way his gaze would drop to my lips, just for a split second, before he looked away.

But we never said anything. We never addressed it directly. At least, not until that night.

It was late, and the apartment was quiet. Chris and George had gone to bed early for once, leaving Arthur and me alone in the living room. I was on the couch, a book in my hands, but my attention was entirely on Arthur. He was sitting at the window, staring out at the city lights, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the streetlights.

“I was thinking about something,” Arthur said quietly, his voice barely breaking the silence. 

I glanced over, frowning. “What?”

He didn’t turn to look at me, but I could feel his attention on me. “About how long we’ve been doing this.”

“Doing what?” I asked, though I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what he meant.

“You know… this. Us. This… thing.” He finally turned to look at me, his gaze soft but intense. “It’s been… nice, hasn’t it?”

I was silent for a moment, heart thudding. “I guess it has.”

“Yeah. It has,” he agreed, a small smile tugging at his lips. “But I think… maybe it’s time to stop pretending we don’t know what’s been happening.”

I swallowed, suddenly unable to form words. I was too aware of how close we were, how the air between us had thickened in a way I wasn’t sure how to navigate. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn’t know how. So instead, I just nodded.

Arthur stood, slowly, his movements deliberate. He crossed the room in quiet steps, and my heart beat a little faster the closer he got. When he reached me, he didn’t sit right away. Instead, he paused, and for a moment, neither of us said anything. The tension between us was unbearable, but it was also… right. It had been building for so long, the moment had finally come.

“You’re not what I expected,” Arthur said softly, his voice a little breathless. “You’re harder to read than I thought.”

“I’m not that complicated,” I said, though I could feel the words catch in my throat. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

“No,” he said with a soft chuckle, his hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. The touch was delicate, his fingers grazing my skin like it was the most natural thing in the world. “You’re a little more complicated than that.” His gaze dropped to my lips, and for the first time, the distance between us felt intimate—like I could feel every beat of his heart, every breath that hung between us.

I wasn’t sure who moved first. Maybe it was me, leaning up just slightly. Or maybe it was Arthur, taking that final step forward, closing the gap between us. All I knew was that, in the span of a breath, his lips were on mine, and everything else faded away.  

The kiss was soft, tentative at first, as if we were both testing the waters, unsure of what we’d find. But the moment his lips met mine, something inside me snapped. A flood of emotions I had been holding back crashed through me—everything from frustration to longing to relief. He was warm, and his lips were gentle but firm, as if he had been waiting for this moment too. I could feel his pulse under my fingertips as my hand found its way to his shirt, my grip tightening just slightly.

Arthur let out a soft sigh against my lips, and that was all it took. The kiss deepened, slow and searching, as if we were both finally allowing ourselves to feel everything we had been keeping locked away. The quiet moments, the touches, the almosts—they had all led up to this, and it was more than I could have ever imagined.

We pulled away slowly, both of us breathless. I could feel my heart racing, a rush of emotions flooding my chest.

“I think I’ve been waiting for that,” Arthur said quietly, his forehead resting against mine.  

I didn’t say anything at first. I didn’t need to. The answer was in the way I felt the warmth of his hand still on my cheek, in the way my heart had finally found a rhythm in sync with his. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually… do it,” I said, my voice a little shaky, though there was a soft smile on my lips. 

Arthur chuckled, his thumb tracing small circles on my skin. “I think you were waiting for me to, too.”

I shook my head, but there was a quiet happiness in my chest, something that felt like hope. 

“Yeah,” I admitted, voice soft. “Maybe I was.”

Arthur grinned, leaning in again. “Good. Because I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

And just like that, everything felt a little less complicated. The walls I’d built up around myself, the doubts and fears that had kept me closed off for so long—suddenly, they didn’t seem so insurmountable anymore. 

I didn’t have to be perfect. I didn’t have to have everything figured out. With Arthur, I could just be—and that was more than enough.

And as we leaned in for another kiss, I realised that, for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t afraid to let myself feel everything that was between us.

——————————————————————————————————

I loved writing this I won’t lie. I think I might do another Arthur one in the future!

Tags-

@themdera

@tyna-19

[ann1-wr1tes]

Tiring Exams

Synopsis: You are dead set on studying for your finals that you don't notice when your boyfriend calls you...(I suck at summarizing)

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1,339

A/N: I dug up this old fic I wrote like last year. Hopefully this somewhat makes up for my lack of content and my nonexistence on this blog lmao-

----

You narrow your eyes at the paper in front of you. Your mind seems to be running so quickly but also somehow not at all? If that was even possible. You just focuses your eyes on the words that were on the paper in front of you and you swore this must've been your fifth time rereading this one sentence, but for some reason your brain just wouldn't put any of it together. None of it was sticking like it should!

You let out an exasperated sigh and rub your eyes and head tiredly. These damn final projects and exams were going to be the death of you. You also thought that if you had to reread this sentence one more time…you may just combust. Your mind just felt like it was bursting at the seams with overwhelming and frustrating thoughts. But alas, that was what exams were all about right?

You take a deep breath and look at your wall for a moment. Your eyes needed to look at something that wasn't a stark white piece of paper, covered in a jumble of words that you for some reason couldn't read or understand. You take a few moments to clear your mind and then you finally look back down at the paper and you reread over the words, this time they somewhat stick.

Your eyes continue to scan over the rest of the article and suddenly your phone is vibrating. You can feel the vibration going through the table and you are snapped out of you trance when you see the contact picture of your boyfriend on the screen of your phone.

You frown. Oh, how you wished that you could answer so badly. What you would give to hear Leon's voice right now but with a sad sigh you decline the call and toss it onto your bed. You couldn't have any distractions…..you had to finish this.

Leon felt his heart pick up just a little bit when you didn't answer his call. He knew that it was normal for people not to answer calls. Everyone had a life, you included so maybe you were just busy. Just for extra measure though, Leon made sure to leave a voice mail, telling you to call him back just so he could check in on you and say hi.

Maybe it was for the best anyways. He knew you had been busy lately studying for finals and he himself was busy with work, so no worries. That's what he tried telling himself.

Though Leon couldn't help it. After the events of Raccoon City, then Spain and so on, he didn't like to leave you alone for too long. He was always calling you, checking in on you, making sure everything was okay and that you didn't need anything. Even now, when he was always busy, he still tried his hardest to make time to just talk to you. To just hear your angelic voice that he adored so much.

But you were busy right now. No problem.

After that he busied himself with looking at files, documents, doing loads and loads of paperwork that practically bored him to death but at least he wasn't getting thrown around or hunted by B.O.W.S or zombies.

Little did Leon know, that right now you were also drowning in boredom.

Later in the day, he was about to go home and he still hadn't hear from you. As much as he tried to reassure himself that you were fine, he felt nervous. Usually you would have called him by now, or at least send him a text saying what you were doing or how you were, but he had gotten nothing from you and it was nearing dinner time.

Right when he got out of work, he immediately grabbed his phone and dialed your number as he made his way out to the parking lot to hop on his bike. He dialed your number and it just rang. You didn't pick up. To Leon, that was a big red flag and he decided that right when he got on his bike, he was gonna stop by your place to make sure you were okay.

He made sure to zoom over to your place as quickly as he could and with baited breath, he parked in your driveway and knocked on your door.

No answer.

He could feel his heart rate quicken as he knocks again and listens for any sounds on the other side. He doesn't hear any movement or talking coming from the other side and even worse, he doesn't hear the television going. It was silent and that did not sit well with him.

Leon didn't bother to knock again. Instead he bent down and lifted up your doorstep mat where he knew you kept the spare key to your house. Leon snatches it off the ground and is quick to unlock your front door and he rushes in, almost forgetting to close your door.

He calls out for you a few times, but there's still no response. That's when his eyes dart around your apartment, searching for signs of maybe a break in, or something gone wrong but everything is fine. Nothing is out of place, nothing seems to be out of the norm so that's when he rushes upstairs.

He opens your bedroom door and freezes. His heart rate is beating practically a mile a minute and he lets out a quiet breath of relief when he sees your smaller form, curled up in your bed fast asleep with numerous plushies and stuffed animals that he had gotten you.

Gosh he was just so worried. What if something happened to you? Or if you had gotten hurt? No…no…its okay, you are okay. You were just sleeping he tells himself. He takes a deep breath and quietly closes the door behind him as he glances at your table.

On your table lays all your project papers and even your laptop that is still halfway open and opened up to a tab that is full of the work that you had been doing all day. No wonder you were practically passed out. Seems like a lot of your energy was used on finishing those stupid exams and projects.

With a sigh he shuts your laptop and glances back at your sleeping form. It made his heart flutter a bit in his chest. You looked beautiful. Stunning even. It was just the raw look of peace on your face as you snoozed away, huddled up in a pile of blankets and stuffed animals. It was all quite adorable and Leon couldn't stop the smile that carved its way onto his face as he stepped a bit closer, slipping out of shoes and sitting them on the floor, next to your bed. He then shrugs off his leather jacket as well and rests against your bedpost.

As quietly as he could, he neared your bed and gently grazed your cheek with his thumb. It was just a little reminder to himself that you were okay and were in fact right there in front of him.

Now as sneakily as Leon can, he pulls away some of the blankets and slowly slips in behind you. You can feel a sudden warmth press up against your back and a big pair of sturdy, strong arms wrap around you from behind and pull you closer. Even in your sleep ridden mind, you know its Leon.

You shuffle a bit, not fully waking up but to where you are half asleep. You turn your body towards Leon and you grasp onto him, nuzzling your face into his neck with a sleepy sigh.

"You sure did tire yourself out, huh sweetheart?" Leon whispers gently. He laughs softly when you give him an airy whine as you nuzzle closer into him.

His hands trail up your back and he runs his fingers through your hair softly. It was moments like these where he just thought everything was perfect.

[meelusinee]

JUST A CALL AWAY | R.B X READER

word count \ 2.8k | fluff and stuff | slash / regulus black x reader

in which you teach regulus how to use a phone, and he asks you on a date author's note at the end!

A LITTLE LOAF SERIES MASTERLIST

JUST A CALL AWAY | REGULUS BLACK X READER

You were closing shop in your bakery by the time 2 o clock rolled around, the counters and floored cleaned and bread placed inside the fridge.

Your mind had been racing the entire day thinking about Regulus.

He seemed like a rather nice guy, all things considered. You didn’t know much about him, though he didn’t know much about you either. Maybe you two could become closer after this, though you weren’t sure how much about you he was truly going to understand. He didn’t even know what a phone was, something you would have to teach him.

You found that you didn’t mind it that much.

The door’s bell rang as it opened, your eyes darting up to look who had walked in. A smile grew on your face as you recognized Regulus’ face from yesterday, eyes skimming over his outfit.

Regulus was wearing a long sleeve shirt with ruffled sleeves, similar to something you might see a vampire wearing. He had a blazer laid over it, though it wasn’t wrapped around his arms. His pants were black work pants, with a corset belt wrapped around his waist and large boots on his feet. It was an outfit you didn’t expect to see him wearing, though one you quite liked nonetheless.

“Hey.” he said softly as he walked up to the counter, a small smile on his face.

“Hi there Reggie!” you smiled brightly, before your face turned into a more pensive expression. “Do you like the name Reggie?”

Regulus’ face grew a bright pink tint, much easier to see from his pale skin. “I don’t mind it.” he whispered, voice cracking near the end.

“But do you like it?” you asked him.

Regulus seemed to think about it for a moment, looking down at the counter before nodding. “I do.”

You smiled brightly, jumping up once before walking out from the counter. “Reggie it is!” you smiled brightly. “Now, let’s go get you a phone, grandpa.”

“Grandpa?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Grandpa!” you smiled brightly at him.

The both of you started to make your way to the phone store, which you said was a medium length walk from the bakery that you worked at. His body walked close to yours, although he kept a respectable distance still.

“What do you do for a living?” you asked Regulus curiously. He assumed that you wanted to find out more about him, especially since you didn’t know much about him to begin with. All you really knew about was his name and what he looked like, though not much after.

“What?” he asked you, clearing his throat. “For a living?”

“Yeah.” you said to him, a small smile growing on your face. “Like work.”

Regulus looked at you for a short moment before looking at the sidewalk, clearing his throat. Looking at you seemed to be like a death sentence for him, his heart stopping every time his eyes even glanced at your face. “I don’t have any work right now.” he mumbled quietly, shrugging his shoulders. He couldn’t really say that he worked for an evil Dark Lord that . “I just moved here.”

“Oh, you did?” you asked him, looking around at the different stores. “You could become a jewelry seller. You seem like the type to know all about that.”

Regulus smiled softly at that. “I do like jewelry,” he whispered. 

You seemed to read him like a book, like his whole entire soul was open for you to read for your entertainment. He seemed more scared at the fact that he didn’t mind the feeling, something he knew he might regret later. 

“Maybe you can sell me a ring.” you winked at him, bumping your arm against his.

He blushed at that, the thought of you in a ring that he got for you in some way bringing a large flush to his face. “Maybe one day, yeah.”

“What would you want to do for work?” you asked him curiously, looking up at him. You seemed genuinely curious about anything about him, something that warmed his heart more than he could imagine. “If you could choose anything to do.”

Regulus thought about it for a moment while he walked, not really sure himself. He had thought about it for a long time, a release from his home. He thought of being an Auror for a moment, though he quickly got rid of that idea. Potioneering was something he was good at, though not something he could exactly explain to a muggle.  

“Maybe writing,” he whispered under his breath, quiet as he thought. “I like writing, but it’s rather intimate. I don’t know if I’d want people to read it.”

“That is true.” you said, humming softly before a teasing tone took over your voice. “Maybe you could try working in my bakery? I bet you’d sell cake pops in three seconds!”

“I doubt you’d want me to work there.” he chuckled quietly, smiling softly at you. 

“I feel like I can trust you more than a lot of people who want to work there,” you said, a small but genuine smile on your face. “Which, you’d think is weird, right? We met just yesterday.”

“Maybe we just match better than most people do.” he replied, blushing after suggesting that. “Maybe.”

“Maybe we do.” you smiled at him, playfully nudging him before looking up. “Here we are!”

Regulus looked up at the store they stopped in front of. Inside were a bunch of boxes with small icons on it, pictures and icons that he couldn’t exactly describe to himself. 

“These are,” he muttered, looking at one of the phones as you both walked in. “Pones?”

“Phones, yes.” you smiled softly, looking up at him. “You can buy a phone, right?” you asked him.

“Probably,” he mumbled. He had wealth under his belt, money he could easily sneak out of Gringotts despite the fact his parents probably thought he was dead. He was still the Heir, after all. Kreacher had transferred a lot of his Galleons to Muggle currency as well, which meant he had quite a bit of cash on his person.

“Good.” you smiled brightly. “As much as I’d love to pay for you, they’re extremely expensive. I can barely afford my own right now.”

“Are they?” he asked confusedly, looking at the price of what seemed to be a higher quality one. It seemed to be a similar price to a high-end owl, which made sense in his mind.

“Yup.” you said. “But, even if you can’t buy one right now, I can still teach you how to use them.”

Regulus looked up at you before nodding. Even if he wasn’t sure whether he’d even use one or not, he still wanted to hang out with you. He wanted to be closer to you, in any sense of the word.

“Let’s find you one!” you smiled brightly.

Regulus had been dragged around for about 10 minutes as you expertly profiled him for a phone. He ended up with an Iphone in his hand, a newer model but not the newest.

“Okay,” he mumbled confusedly, holding it in his hand. It was the weirdest shape he had ever felt. “And how do you use it?”

“Well, let’s go one by one.” she said to him. “Firstly, how to turn it on and off.”

You held his hand as you helped him turn it on and off, teaching him the difference between just pressing the button and holding it down. You taught him how to make calls and send messages, your body close to his.

It was a beautiful feeling.

“Do you know how to navigate this?” you giggled softly, looking up at him.

“No,” he mumbled quietly, watching you hover even closer and help him.

“You can drag down from here to access notifications and stuff,” you explained to him, hand pointing to the top right corner. “You drag down here for the control panel. Like your flashlight.”

“A flashlight?” he asked confusedly. He had no idea what a flashlight was.

“Yeah!” you smiled softly, dragging the control panel down and clicking the flashlight button. He looked at the other side of the phone, realizing it was like a Lumos charm.

“That makes sense.” he whispered.

“What were you thinking of?” you asked curiously.

He shrugged, not sure of it himself. “I’m not sure.” he whispered softly, looking at the phone with a mix of bewilderment and confusion. 

You giggled softly. The giggle was quickly becoming one of his favorite sounds, something that he could repeat in his mind when thinking about anything good. He wished that he could hear it for longer, maybe forever.

Maybe one day.

Regulus had bought the phone as soon as you gave him a basic tutorial on it, his hands holding it hard as he tried to figure out things himself.

You decided to sit outside in the park with him while he figured it out, giving him your number so he could text you whenever either of you wanted. He figured out how it worked relatively easily, and you figured out that he typed grammatically correct. A little bit different than what you were used to, sure, but something you couldn’t blame him for.

The sun was setting beside the both of you, which made his face glow under the sunset lighting. He was rather beautiful, if you were to say so yourself.

“So you can type a sentence with these buttons,” he mumbled, his French accent thick as he pointed at the letters. “And then you press send to deliver it. Like a letter?”

“Kind of like a letter.” you smiled softly at his confusion. It was definitely adorable. “But it sends a lot quicker. And you can see me typing back in real time too.”

“That’s,” he whispered softly under his breath. “Rather cool, actually.”

You smiled brightly, not realizing just how amazing a phone really was. You were used to it being a daily thing, but you found yourself truly being amazed by how impressive it was by his response. “It is rather cool, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” he whispered, before nodding and pocketing it. “I think I’ll figure it out more later.”

Your smile softened at that, not wanting him to leave just yet. You had loved hanging out with him, even if it wasn’t really that long. Maybe five hours was long for most people, but you felt like it had only been for a couple of minutes with him.

“Does that mean you’re leaving?” you asked. You didn’t want to seem desperate.

“Do you want me to?” he asked quietly, his eyes staring into yours. “I don’t mind staying.”

“Do you want to stay?” you asked.

He paused for a moment before looking down at the ground, his face lighting up in a wide shade of pink. “I’d like to, if you’d allow me.” he whispered under his breath. “I enjoy your company.”

You felt your cheeks heating up a little yourself, but chose to ignore it. “I enjoy yours too.”

“What do people usually talk about?” he asked. As far as you knew, he didn’t have any friends.

You shrugged, not really sure yourself. “What do you think about this park?” you asked.

Regulus looked up and around the park, analyzing anything his eyes landed on. “That tree is an Oak tree,” he mumbled. “And I like the moss on the tree next to it. Some people call it old man’s beard.”

“Really?” you asked, looking at the moss he was looking at. It definitely earned its name, the color and shape reminding you of an old grandpa who complained about the economy and had a 2 hour storyline about how long his trip to school was. “I can see it.”

“I can too.” he smiled softly, leaning forward from where he was sitting. “That Magnolia tree reminds me of you.” he whispered, looking over at you as he spoke. 

You smiled softly, looking over at him. Your heart started to beat rather fast, a warmness growing on your cheeks. “Does it?” 

“The color,” he whispered. “And its warmth. It reminds me of your bakery.”

You looked over at the flower before back at him and smiled brightly, “I don’t really know how to say thank you to that.” you whispered softly to him. “But still, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, smiling softly. 

The two of you wandered around the park for some time after. He pointed at things and explained them, all while you listened and clinged to his arm. It was a rather intimate moment.

“Thank you for this,” you whispered as he walked you home, a small ice cream cone in your hands. He bought you one on the way. “Seriously.”

“It was nothing,” he smiled. “I liked this.”

You smiled back, a small flush heating your cheeks. “We should do it again.”

“We should.” he mumbled quietly, his hand squeezing yours. 

You smiled softly, patting his head. He said his goodbyes and you went inside, finishing your ice cream and laying down on the couch.

You hadn’t been able to relax much since you got back, your body going between phases of pacing and tiredness. Your fingers flicked through your contacts, finding your best friend and calling them.

“Y/N?” they asked confusedly. “What are you calling for? You rarely call at this time.”

“I am freaking out, that’s what!” you said excitedly, sighing softly. “I’ve just found my dream man. Like, seriously. I need to find wedding rings.”

“Woah, calm down.” they chuckled softly. “Start from the start, okay?”

So you did. You explained everything, from the moment you met him to your hang out today. You explained how easily flushed he’d get, his aesthetics, how much he seemed to love nature and literature. You explained anything and everything you could, breath running short by the end. “I think I’ve fallen in love, seriously.”

“Seriously sounds right.” they chuckled.

Your best friend said something, but you didn’t register it at all. Regulus had texted you.

You opened the message and smiled just as wide as the lot of times you did around him. It was a sweet message, one that made your heart ache.

REGULUS: Thank you for listening to me talk today. I really enjoyed hanging out with you today. I would love to do it more often, if you would like.

REGULUS:  Again, I’m very sorry for talking your ear off. I’m not the best at talking to people, especially how I did today. I’m sorry if that has inconvenienced you. But you make me want to try.

Your cheeks flushed wide at the message, especially at the last seven words.

“Y/N?” your best friend asked. “You there?”

You nodded, before realizing that they couldn’t see you nodding. “Yeah, I'm still here.” you muttered. “He texted me. God, he’s so sweet.” 

“Well, what’d he say?” they asked. You sent them a screenshot of what he said, smiling brightly at their loud squeaking sound. “I know, right?”

“Marry him, right now!” they said excitedly. “But you need to text him back first!”

“I’m getting there!” you said excitedly, typing out a response.

YOU: hi again reggie!!! i really enjoyed listening to u talk, i really don’t mind it. u sound really nice whenever u ramble like that, so don’t ever stop!

YOU: thank u so much for today <333

You smiled as you watched Regulus type, giggling at his utter confusion on your typing style.

REGULUS: That is the oddest way of spelling I have ever seen.

REGULUS: I don’t mean that to sound rude.

You giggled softly at his clarification, sitting on the couch and kicking your feet happily. God, you were already falling hard.

YOU: u don’t need to use proper grammar or spelling on text!!! i like typing like this :D

REGULUS: Is that a smiley face?

YOU: it’s my favorite :D i don’t like emojis much

REGULUS: Noted. They do look ugly.

You smiled widely at that, hugging your pillow and kicking your feet again and again. Your phone had started to get a couple of notifications at a time, your heart bursting out even more as you read his new messages.

REGULUS: Really though, Y/N. Thank you for hanging out with me today. I really enjoyed it.

REGULUS: Maybe we can hang out tomorrow? I’ve heard that there is a nice restaurant down the street, and I would like to take you.

REGULUS: Unless you’re busy, or this is too forward.

REGULUS: I don’t want to irritate you.

YOU: i don’t think u could ever irritate me. and yes, i would love to go to that restaurant with you <3

YOU: call it a date!

You squeaked softly as you sent the message, smiling as he agreed eagerly. It was really happening. 

You were going on a date.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

thanks everyone for reading!!! i've been writing a bundle lately, so i think that this is a pretty good thing for me? i've written maybe 6-7k words in the past two days, so that's fancy. dno't really have many other things to say about this other than that tho unfortunately

AS ALWAYS - please like, comment, and reblog! love u <3

[lovetaroandtaemin]

Take This Heart

Lee Seokmin x Reader

Word Count: 2,629

Genre: Angst, fluff

Rating: Some adult themes, MINORS DNI!

Summary: All Seokmin wants is for his fiancee to act like she loves him again.

Content warnings: Unhealthy relationship, depression and anxiety, DK thinks that Reader is cheating but she isn't, sad shit with a bittersweet ending.

A/N: This fic is my first submission for the Angst Olympics collab! If you like this fic, check out the other incredible works that are part of this event in the masterlist, found here.

This fic was loosely inspired by "Love Me or Leave Me" by Little Mix! I definitely recommend listening to it while you read this one.

Taglist: @xomakara, @notyourjaem, @heechwe, @shadowkoo, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @gyubakeries

Fic is under the cut.

Seokmin knew that something was wrong when you stopped telling him good night before you went to sleep. He didn’t know exactly what it was, but he definitely knew that something had changed. At first, he chalked it up to stress about your upcoming wedding, but when even the little gestures that used to serve as subtle reminders of your love for him stopped, he knew that there was something deeper going on. The last thing Seokmin wanted to do was assume the worst, though, so he decided to just talk to you about his concerns before he had the chance to spiral.

 It was late at night on a random Saturday when Seokmin came to you and asked, “Baby, do you have a minute to talk?”

“Yeah, of course,” you answered. “Is this about wedding planning or something else?”

“Something else.”

You were confused, but still, you asked, “What’s up?”

“I’ve just noticed that you’ve been a bit distant lately. Did I do something wrong? Is something going on?”

With a sigh, you answered, “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. I’ve just been a little bit tired lately. There’s a lot going on at work.”

“Why don’t we go to bed then? It’s getting kind of late, anyway.”

You nodded and said, “That sounds like a good idea.”

With that, you followed Seokmin to your shared bedroom and found a comfortable spot on your bed. He climbed into bed next to you and held you close, and it took everything you had not to turn away. Not because you didn’t want him to hold you, but because you thought that you didn’t deserve for him to comfort you, especially when you’d worried him by pushing him away.

The feelings of doubt and inadequacy that had been firmly planted in the front of your mind since the beginning of your engagement to Seokmin actually started long before he asked you to marry him. It wasn’t until the wedding planning actually started that the feelings grew the way they did, though, making you want to reject him so that he could find someone better than you.

At first, you thought that the feelings would go away once you started to focus on actually planning the wedding. After all, you were more excited than words could say to finally be marrying the man that you loved. As you attended cake tastings, dress fittings, and meetings with vendors, however, you found yourself sinking deeper than you originally anticipated into a hole that you had no clue how to get out of.

You knew that Seokmin noticed that you were acting differently, but you had no idea how to even begin to explain the thoughts that plagued your every waking moment. So, all you could do was hope that the feelings went away or that you could force yourself to stop putting unnecessary space between yourself and your fiancé.

Seokmin knew that the explanation that you’d given him for why you were pulling away was complete and utter bullshit when he actually asked you about how work was going the day after your initial conversation. You’d just gotten home, and he asked, “How was your day, baby?”

“Oh, it was fine. Easy day, not a lot for me to do.”

Seokmin wanted to ask you why you’d said the night before that there was a lot going on, but he decided against it. After all, he was tired, and he didn’t want to ruin the night by starting what could be a pointless argument. So, he just let it go, hoping that it was just because the stressful parts of your job were more manageable now and that you would go back to your typical affectionate self.

Seokmin’s hopes were completely shattered as time went on. For weeks, the distance between you and Seokmin increased to the point that the two of you acted more like roommates that flirted occasionally than an engaged couple. So, he decided to talk to you again over dinner and asked, “Baby, are you sure that I didn’t do something wrong?”

“I’m sure. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you’ve been really distant lately. Is something else going on?”

“I’ve just been really tired and stressed. Planning a wedding is a lot, you know?”

“Yeah, I definitely know. How did your dress fitting go, by the way?”

“It went better than I thought. I’m really happy with the way the dress looks, and I can’t wait for you to see it when the day comes.”

You tried to sound happy, but Seokmin could tell that something was off. You sounded almost defeated as you spoke, and he started to question everything. Were you unhappy with something related to wedding plans? Did something bad happen at the fitting? Did you even want to marry him still? The anxiety was starting to eat him alive.

Seokmin tried to talk to you a few different times to try to find out what was going on, but each time, the conversation went the exact same way. He would ask you if something was wrong, and you would tell him that everything was fine. Each attempt dug him deeper and deeper into a pit of anxiety, and he started to wonder if you’d stopped loving him completely.

You knew that pushing Seokmin away was hurting him, but you couldn’t seem to stop yourself. All you could think about was the fact that he deserved better than you, and every day, you sunk further and further into the depression that threatened to destroy your relationship.

At some point, Seokmin started to wonder if you were pulling away from him because you were seeing someone else. Ordinarily, he would never even consider the possibility of you cheating on him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something that you weren’t telling him. That feeling, combined with the fact that you were talking to him less than you ever had and spending most of your free time staring at your phone, left him more confused and hurt than ever, and an affair was the only reason that he could think of for your actions.

Seokmin finally decided that enough was enough the day that the two of you went to dinner with both of your families to celebrate your engagement. Everyone had been too busy with other responsibilities to plan a get together when Seokmin first proposed, so you, Seokmin, and your families all agreed to get together and celebrate when the wedding got closer.

The problems started when the two of you were getting ready to leave. Doing your hair and makeup took far longer than you’d originally anticipated, and you were getting frustrated. With a groan, you set your hairbrush down, and Seokmin asked, “Do you want me to help you do your hair, honey?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind-”

“I already said no!” you yelled. Seokmin jumped at the loud noise, and that was when the guilt hit you. You tried to reach out for him and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” he spat. “Let’s just finish getting ready so we can get this fucking dinner over with.”

There was complete silence in your apartment after that, except for the occasional sound of one of you dropping something. The drive to the restaurant was silent too, and it killed you. You desperately wanted to apologize and explain why you’d been so sensitive for the past several months, but the words just wouldn’t come to you.

Before you knew it, you were in the restaurant parking lot waiting for your parents to arrive. While you waited, you tried to talk to Seokmin a few times, but each time, he gave you the cold shoulder. Your fiancé ignoring you was painful, but you knew that you’d hurt him just as much, if not more, by distancing yourself from him in the first place. So, you decided not to push him, hoping that the two of you would be able to talk it out soon.

You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice your parents calling your name. When you finally did see them, though, you forced a smile, hoping that they wouldn’t notice how upset you were. Apparently, they didn’t, considering the fact that your mom pulled you into a bone crushing hug and said, “Congratulations! I am so sorry that we couldn’t get together to celebrate with you two sooner.”

“It’s ok, mom. I’m just happy you guys are here now.”

“Good to see you, son,” your dad said as he shook Seokmin’s hand.

“Good to see you too, sir,” your fiancé replied, the fake smile on his face glaringly obvious.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Seokmin’s parents and sister arrived, and everyone went into the restaurant. After you were all seated at a table and your orders were placed, Mrs. Lee smiled at you and said, “It’s so good to see you, dear. Congratulations!”

“Thank you so much,” you replied, well-rehearsed false joy dripping from every word. “I’m so happy to finally be marrying the man that I love.”

“We’re so happy to have you join the family,” Mr. Lee added.

You didn’t respond verbally, but you still smiled at his words. Seokmin’s family had always been so kind and welcoming toward you, and you were honored that they already considered you part of the family. Plus, you really were happy to be marrying Seokmin, and you really wanted to show that, despite how much you’d been struggling. When you saw the expression on your fiancé’s face as you spoke, however, you realized that you probably were not as successful as you’d hoped.

Seokmin was pissed off when he saw the way you interacted with his parents, to say the least. Sure, the things that you said sounded sweet, but the way you looked at him, and his family, certainly wasn’t. He could tell that you were lying when you spoke about how happy you were to marry him, and the thought made him feel sick. Was he pushing you into a wedding that you didn’t want? He decided to find out once the two of you were home.

The rest of the dinner went far worse than Seokmin could have possibly anticipated. Every word out of your mouth sounded either sarcastic or just plain rude, and he could tell that both his parents and his sister were getting upset. A few times, he tried to get your attention by squeezing your hand or tapping your shoulder, but each time, you ignored him.

You tried so hard to seem happy the entire time that you were out. After a while, though, the thoughts that you didn’t deserve to be loved so much by Seokmin or his family got to be too much to bear, and that feeling, combined with the overstimulation that always came with being in crowded spaces, made you a bit snappy. You knew that Seokmin noticed, considering the frustration etched onto his face every time he looked at you, but you really didn’t know how to manage all the complex emotions swirling around your brain.

The dinner ended with rushed goodbyes, and once you and Seokmin were alone again, he drove you home in complete silence. You wanted to say something, anything, to break it, but when you saw how tightly he gripped the steering wheel as he drove, you knew that trying to talk to him would only make him angrier. So, you continued to be quiet until the two of you got back to your apartment.

Once you were inside, you turned to Seokmin and said, “I’m sorry. Can I just-”

“Stop. Just stop.”

“But I-”

“Stop.” You went quiet after that, and he asked, “What the fuck is your problem?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what the fuck is your problem with me? What the fuck did I do to you to make you want to treat me the way you have?”

“You didn’t do anything. I just-”

“Bullshit. I saw the way you looked at me at dinner. You treated me like I was a fucking nuisance instead of your fucking fiancé.”

“I didn’t-”

“I’m not done.”

“Ok.”

“On top of the way you acted tonight, you’ve been pushing me away for months. What the fuck happened that made you stop acting like you give a shit about me? Is there someone else? Did I do something wrong? I need to know, (Y/N).” You knew that Seokmin was still angry, but as he spoke, you heard the sadness in his voice too.

“There’s no one else, and you did nothing wrong.”

“Then what the fuck is going on? Why do you act like you don’t love me anymore?”

That was when the weight of all of the hurt that you’d been carrying for so long finally broke you, and you started to sob uncontrollably.

Seokmin was left even more confused when you started to cry, but seeing how suddenly you just broke down hurt his heart. After all, despite how much you’d hurt him, he still loved you more than he’d ever loved a romantic partner before. So, he decided to put aside his anger temporarily and pulled you into a hug before asking, “What’s going on?” His voice was softer this time, but you could still hear how much pain he was in as he spoke.

It took a long time for you to stop crying once you started, but once you felt like you could finally speak again, you said, “I don’t deserve you.”

Seokmin immediately shushed you and said, “Hey, don’t say that. What happened, baby?”

That was when you told him everything. In between the sobs that had started again, you explained that you’d always worried that he was too good for you and that when he proposed, your doubts only got harder to ignore. When you finally finished explaining, you said, “I’m so sorry.”

Seokmin held you the entire time you spoke, rubbing your back as you poured your heart out to him. He felt like a terrible partner for not realizing what was wrong sooner, but he knew better than to beat himself up. So, he just sighed and asked, “You know I love you, right?” You nodded, and he added, “I think that we should postpone the wedding.”

You started to cry again at the mention of postponing your wedding and said, “I’m sorry, please don’t leave. I can fix this, I swear. I didn’t mean to-”

Seokmin shushed you gently and said, “I’m not going anywhere. I should have finished that thought; I’m sorry. What I mean is, I think that we should postpone the wedding so that we can get you into therapy. I love you, and I absolutely still want to marry you, but I think the focus needs to be on your wellbeing right now, not a wedding.”

With your voice barely above a whisper, you asked, “You’re not leaving?”

“I’m not leaving. The only thing that could make me leave is you explicitly telling me that you want me gone. That didn’t happen, so you’re stuck with me.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad. Definitely hurt, but not mad. That’s the other reason I think that we should postpone the wedding. The past few months have been hard on both of us, so I think that couples’ therapy would be a good idea before we get married.”

You nodded in agreement and said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Loving me.”

“I’ll always love you, baby.”

“I love you. Are we ok?”

With a sigh, Seokmin answered, “Yeah. We’re ok. Just don’t push me away anymore, please.”

“I won’t.”

"Thank you."

Thank you for reading! If you liked this, please like and reblog! If you wanna be tagged in future works, fill out the taglist form here! If you want to check out my other works, check out my main masterlist. If you want to see what else is in the works, you can check my upcoming works list! If none of that interests you, or there's something specific you want to see, feel free to send a request via my asks or dms!

Thank you again for reading. I hope you have a lovely day!

[avocadoguru]

He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 10 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 11 (word count: 8k) -updated July 3rd

Harry had never cared less about appearing vulnerable to someone else. The amount of times Niall had seen him cry and cling to Y/N whilst whispering sweet nothings into her ear was well out of his comfort zone. But it didn’t even occur to him to mind.

It was like no one else existed.

Y/N was all that mattered. Her frail state that he could barely look at the first two days. Niall had told him not to, but he’d climbed next to her in the hospital bed. When he realized his friend was worried for his own injuries and that it would not affect his human, he completely disregarded his admonishments.

And Harry was aware that Niall had saved his life. He was lucky for such a friend as him and he would tell Niall as much once he got his mind in the right place. Once his human was up and talking and smiling again. But until then, he would sit by her side and talk to her, holding her hand and caressing her face, petting her hair. 

His own wounds would heal. He was okay but in pain, as his body had lost an almost fatal amount of blood. But he wasn’t thinking about that. He wasn’t worried about himself. He could endure the pain, the healing. He could endure the aftermath, his anger.

He’d not made his friend’s job easy. Niall had had to operate on him right there, next to Y/N, because he simply would not leave her sight. At Niall’s practice in the city, he set up two beds. One for Harry and one for Y/N. Lester helped aid him as much he could because time was of the essence with Harry. He was aware Y/N was too far gone to save but he did what he could in order to clean her up and close the wounds. Keeping her stable only prolonged the inevitable but Niall wouldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least try. He knew it was of no use but he could stop her bleeding and get her to safety. That was all he could really offer.

For Harry, though. He was strong and could heal. He’d lost too much blood but he was a werewolf and his body would repair itself at a rate a human’s body would never be able to. So he cleaned and stitched, and stapled Harry’s wounds and broke him the news about his human. 

“No. She’s still alive. That means something. She’s not gone.”

“Harry…” Niall spoke softly and slowly knowing his friend had to hear the truth as awful as it was, “She’s not going to recover. I just want you to be prepared for this. Currently, her heart is still pumping but it’s getting weaker as the hours pass. Her lungs aren’t working and we’ve connected her to a ventilator so she can breathe but that just means her body is unable to function properly.”

He refused to believe she was dying. He was looking right at her, leaning over her body, his hands grasping her limp ones. She was only asleep. She was only unconscious and her body needed time. Just a little more time.

Niall went home every night to sleep in his own bed but he stayed with Harry as long as possible and he always returned the following morning with food for his friend.

He was worried about Harry. Not because of his injury, but because he wasn’t sure if Harry would be okay when Y/N’s body finally gave up. He was sure Harry would lose it. He was worried he’d go and get himself killed. The muttered words, “If she doesn’t come back to me I’m going to kill every fucking person that was involved,” told him as much. Niall was worried he’d lose his best friend.

The more time went on, the more desperate Harry became. While at first he’d just sat next to her bed, he’d ended up crawled next to her by the crack of dawn. If he barely could take in the sight of her at first, he was now scanning every inch of her as if to memorize her better. Barely daring to talk to her at first, he was now whispering right in her ear. Not for fear of being overheard. Again, he couldn’t give less of a fuck about how he appeared to Niall, Lester, or any of the nurses who came in during the night to check on Y/N. But as to be as gentle as possible with her, as to not startle her in her slumber, for he knew she was only asleep. 

He did hope she could hear him. Because he had a lot he wanted to tell her. Things he was desperate to get out, for fear he maybe wouldn’t get the chance to later on.

It wasn’t ideal, this wasn’t how he wanted this to happen. But he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “My love, please come back to me,” he murmured in her ear, not for the first time, not for the last time. “Please, I want to look into your pretty eyes again. Wish I’d told you how much I love your eyes before. I get so lost inside your eyes. Would you believe it? Or would you scoff and look away, thinking I was taking the piss? I don’t think you ever knew how far gone I was. I never showed you what you do to me. Not just my body, but my heart. Was too afraid to. Like a fucking coward. I wish I could take it back, wish I could show you just how much you’ve meant to me all along. Wish I could’ve seen your eyes when I first told you I loved you, no, when I sobbed it, when Niall brought us in and finally left us alone after he poked at my injuries for what felt like hours. It’s not that I didn’t want him to hear, hell, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. Mountain tops. I’ll howl it to the moon. I just… I wanted your ears to hear it first. I love you. You’re my mate. I’ve known from the start. I wish I could’ve told you. I wish there’d been a better way. Wish I’d been braver. Anything. Anything but this. Anything but you in this bed. Anything but you so weak and in pain, and–”

Harry buried his face in the crook of her neck and allowed himself to sob once more. He’d not cried since he was an infant, as children do, but he could physically feel his heart breaking. It was unbearable. If he held onto her tight enough, she couldn’t leave him. Right? 

“Everyone left. My parents. My brother. Don’t leave me too. Not when I finally found you. Not when you finally know. Not when I know that… you love me too… I know you do. Tell me you do, Y/N. Please. Please open those pretty eyes, and move those pouty lips and tell me. I swear I’ll not want for anything ever again. And if you don’t… That’s… that’s ok, too,” he sniffled, pulling away a bit and wiping his tears away from her skin. “Just wake up. If I’m wrong, and you don’t want to see me again, if… if seeing me was too much, is too much… I swear I’ll understand. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll get lost forever if that’s what you want. Just please… wake up. Please.”

On the morning of day three, Niall came in with bagels and fruit. And it was no surprise when he saw Harry sitting next to her in bed. After assessing the scene and finding that Y/N was still alive he greeted Harry, “Hey, morning.”

Harry turned to look at his friend and ticked his head in a nod before bringing his full attention back to Y/N as he continued speaking in whispers to her. Private confessions. Promises. Declarations. Apologies. Supplications. The sort of things one whispers to a loved one on their deathbed.

“Got bagels and some spreads. Some bananas and melon too. It’ll be over here if you’d like any,” Nialll placed the food on the table he’d been using to eat on next to the window. 

Harry was a little hungry. He hadn’t eaten all that much in the few days since the fight. He hadn’t really been that hungry. But his body was healing well and now it was asking for some sustenance. 

Lifting his head he turned to face Niall, “Yeah. I think I’ll eat,” he stood from his chair and walked to the table selecting his bagel and a packet of butter as Niall watched him closely, “What?”

“Just… I’m glad you’re eating first thing. That’s good news. You’re healing well I think-”

“I don’t give a fuck about me. I know I’m fine. That makes all this so much worse!” He gestured around the room.

Niall nodded, “Yeah. I know. I just mean, for me. You know? You’re my friend. I’m just glad, is all.”

Harry was chewing into the bagel as he nodded, keeping his eyes on his friend. Swallowing down his bite he looked across the room to Y/N then back to Niall, “You’re a great friend, Niall.”

Harry took his usual quick nap once he’d finished eating the bagel. He would stay up all night with his eyes on his mate to watch for anything. He refused to sleep since Niall wasn’t there to check on her. He couldn’t risk being asleep if anything happened to her and no one else could watch over her, even with an overnight nurse present in the practice in the doctor’s absence.

Niall hoped against hope that, somehow, she would wake up. That she would be okay so that his friend would also be okay. He knew it was just about impossible, but if she didn’t wake up Harry would get himself killed by trying to avenge her.

After the last patient had left and Niall was shutting everything down he heard Harry calling for him. Niall took a deep breath, imagining the worst as he turned into the room the pair were in.

But it was the opposite of what Niall had thought. The patient monitor was showing a stronger heartbeat and slightly higher blood pressure. He scratched his head as he looked at the vitals on the screen and immediately pulled his stethoscope over his ears and held her wrist as he placed the chest piece over her heart to check the stats for himself. 

He looked up at Harry who had an expectant, hopeful expression on his face.

But Niall was confused. How? He double-checked her heart rate and swallowed, “I… She’s getting stronger. But I don’t know what this means. Um, I should stay the night. We can take shifts-”

“No. You can sleep if you need to. I’m gonna stay right here with her,” Harry spoke as he looked over his human and took her hand into his, “You’re doing so good, Y/N.”

Niall put on a pot of coffee and continued monitoring her as Harry stayed by her side. But the night didn’t change her status. She still had a stronger heartbeat and that was good. But no improvements were notable by the time Niall laid down to shut his eyes for a bit. His friend was glued to Y/N’s side. 

After Niall had fallen asleep Harry paced the room a bit. His nerves were getting to him. She’d gotten stronger suddenly and Niall was surprised by that. The not knowing what was to come was hard. Harry was used to being in situations where he could pretty well foresee the outcome because he was the one calling the shots. But this was different. Y/N’s life hung in the balance and he had no way of forcing his hand in this. It was up to fate. To chance. 

When the sun slowly drizzled into the room, golden first light hues scattered over her face as Harry sat by her side. Even asleep she was beautiful. Even with a tube in her throat. With a bandage on her neck, scratches on her face. 

“Good morning, Y/N. Sun’s up. Where are you? Are you coming back today, my love?”

Seconds after Harry whispered his words the patient monitor sounded with an alarm and Harry stood up quickly to see what had caused it. Rapidly increased heart rate.

Niall was quick to jump out of bed and take over but before he could pick up his stethoscope she moved. Her neck turned and her brow furrowed and Harry inhaled a sharp breath as he watched his mate come back to life. 

Quickly snapping on his gloves, Niall carefully pulled the tube from her throat, “She’s breathing. Respiratory waveform is active. I may need to reintubate but she’s breathing!”

Harry didn’t know what Niall was talking about but he didn’t care. It was all good news to him. She was moving and wincing as the tube was pulled out. Once it was tossed to the side Y/N began to cough and her scratched throat and trachea sounded like she had laryngitis but Harry was smiling and his heart was pounding in his chest.

“Y/N!” He pulled her hand into his and squeezed as she slowly blinked her eyes open. When her vision cleared and Harry came into sight she startled and yanked her arm away from him, eyes wide and looking around the room. 

The smile fell from Harry’s face at her reaction to him but figured that was deserved. He was just happy she was with him. She was awake. She was alive.

Niall quickly adjusted the settings on the monitor so the alarms would stop and then he looked her over, “Y/N. You’re in my clinic right now. You’re recovering from an injury. Do you know who I am?”

She tried using her vocal cords but winced and coughed, “It’s okay. You don’t need to use your voice right now. You had a tube in your throat and you’ll be a bit sore and uncomfortable for a bit. Just nod or shake your head to answer.”

She nodded slowly and scrunched her face in pain.

“She’s hurting, Niall!” Harry spoke quickly. Her little body was in pain. He could tell.

Niall pulled an IV and inserted the appropriate amount of narcotic to put into her bloodstream to ease her pain, “I know, Harry. One thing at a time, man. She’s just becoming conscious.”

Harry could feel warm tears begin to fill his eyes and blur his vision but now that she was breathing, and looking around the room, he didn’t want her to see him falling apart. Now that she was back he knew he needed to stay strong for her. He quickly exited the room so he could let himself feel the sadness and joy heave from his body. He leaned into the wall and tilted his head back to look upward as he clutched over his pounding heart causing the tears to drip into his ears and on his neck. 

If Harry didn’t need Niall he’d have strangled him then and there when he re-entered the room after collecting himself and seeing Y/N was back asleep. 

“I had to sedate her! She was in too much pain!”

Harry kept it together upon hearing that. “But she will wake up again. Right?!”

“Absolutely. She’s… I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but she’s on the mend. She’s getting better. It’s only uphill from here, man. Listen, I know you wanted to talk to her… but she was struggling, I could tell. Another round of IVs and she should wake up way smoother next time. Plus, she’s breathing all on her own! Look!”

And Harry was looking. He’d not taken his eyes off of her. Niall had better been right about this, otherwise he’d never forgive himself the mistake of stepping out for the brief moment she was awake. But he didn’t want her to see him fall apart like that. He needed to be strong for her. Needed to reassure her. Brighten her up.

He hoped he hadn’t missed his shot.

*

Niall decided to sleep at the practice again that night, knowing Y/N would probably wake up and he wanted to be there to give her proper medical care and make sure Harry didn’t accidentally smother her back into a coma. He kept that thought to himself, along with his other suspicions regarding her sudden, and quite miraculous recovery, at that.

Instead, he tried distracting his friend who seemed even more impatient for her to wake up than before, “She’s a fighter, your Y/N.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at that, ungluing his eyes from her frame. He sat on a chair on the side of her bed when Niall was in the room, mostly so he could prod at her freely. 

Niall was very pleased with her vitals. She was almost fully recovered, judging by all her stats. The bloodwork had come back almost impeccable. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a scientific miracle. It kind of was, in a way. But Harry wasn’t questioning it at all. Maybe to him it didn’t seem like such a miracle, with all the pleading he’d been doing for her to get better, it was like all his prayers had been answered. He didn’t have the medical knowledge to grasp the uniqueness of the situation.

“She always has been, you know. Brave little thing.” He told Harry how she had gone looking for him that night and found Niall at his apartment and how he knew she didn’t buy his story about taking over the lease. He’d called Lester the very next morning to tell him that Y/N was concerned about Harry being missing and Lester told him that she was in danger and he was on his way. Lester knew not to trust Harry’s pack. He knew something wasn’t right. He’d been around long enough to know what was what in that world.

“And then Lester said that as he was leaving the house and saying goodbye to Alma, Edward growled and pounced on him to get him to wait and that’s when he shifted back. No one expected it but it happened. So Lester, Alma, and Edward all made the trip together because Edward wanted to help. Then I tried calling her and texting her so I could warn her but by then it was too late. And that’s when I found her apartment door open and her purse left behind.”

Y/N had been smart to go searching for Harry. If she hadn't, Niall might have not known he was missing because it wouldn’t be uncommon for Harry and Niall to go a week or two without talking. And both she and Harry might be dead at that moment if not for Lester and Niall’s intervention. 

Lester’s sway amongst the leaders of the packs was wide-reaching. He threatened to call on reinforcements if Harry’s pack didn’t offer a trial (which they weren’t going to at first). So, as grim as the current outcome had been, it would have been worse if Niall and Lester weren’t there to help.

But it had all started with Y/N. She’d been worried about him, even mad that he’d gone missing, again. 

Eventually, Niall left the room to nap in his office and Harry was once more alone with his little human. Knowing she was definitely going to wake up again now made him focus on how he was going to fix this mess. He wasn’t foolishly assuming she’d forgive him and want him back, even though he did know that she loved him too. He’d seen it in her eyes when he was about to fight that scumbag for his life. 

Be that as it may, he knew that didn’t equate to her wanting him in her life necessarily. What she’d witnessed was hard to accept. What he’d kept from her was hard to come to terms with. And she was fragile now. She needed space, he knew. But he wasn’t going to leave her out of his sight no matter how much she opposed it. He was going to bring her back home and assure her he would give her space, the space she needed to figure things out whilst recovering safely. 

He didn’t trust her alone at her own place. Sure, he’d earned their freedom from the pack but there were still loose ends he needed to trim. Like Irina. Harry hadn’t forgotten about her and her complicity in all of this. She was going to have to pay, too. But that was for later. For now, he was focusing on Y/N and her safety, and he didn’t trust his former pack, especially Irina, not to try and get to them again. They were conniving, double-crossing fiends, and even after earning his freedom fair and square he was still expecting some sort of retaliation. 

His plan was for them to move away for good as soon as she made a full recovery. Granted she still wanted him, of course. He had no plan for the eventuality that she would kick him to the curb. He couldn’t even ponder that option. 

But Lester’s offer was all the more appealing now. And he knew she loved it there on his farm too. Maybe that could be their new home. Anywhere she wanted. As long as they were together.

Just then, he felt her stir, and he climbed off the bed gently and sat on the chair next to her bed. He didn’t want to suffocate her with his proximity. Didn’t want to give her the impression that he was assuming anything. But he still held her hand, he just couldn’t let go. He didn’t need the monitor to feel her heartbeat pick up and know she was waking up, and he saw Niall approach from the corner of his eye, his watch alerting him of the changes on the monitor.

“She might be a little woozy ‘cause of the higher dose of painkillers I gave her. So don’t worry about that.”

Harry nodded and squeezed her hand in his gently, “Y/N? Are you awake, kitten? C’mon. Open those pretty eyes for us.”

And open them she did. Fluttering eyelashes gave way for her lovely irises in which Harry had feared he’d never see his reflection again. 

Both men smiled widely at her compliancy and Niall brought a tall tumbler of water to her lips, “Need to lubricate your throat a bit, Y/N; have a sip, please?”

She looked up at him and gave the faintest of nods, and he took it as his cue to hold the straw steady as she puckered her lips around it and began drinking out of the glass slowly. She winced at first, taking the first few gulps, her throat sore no doubt, but she finished the glass in its entirety which prompted Harry to squeeze her hand once more and coo, “Good girl.”

Her heart rate picked up a bit at that and Niall gave him a sly smile, but Harry was too enthralled watching his little human to notice. She rested her head back against the pillow, the strain in her neck keeping her head up getting to her. Niall fluffed the sides of her pillows a bit to give her even more support and smiled at her, “You’re doing so well, Y/N. You’re recovering beautifully. Would you mind trying to talk to us a bit? I know it’s a bit uncomfortable and your throat must still be sore, but I know someone is dying to hear your voice again.”

Harry kicked his friend in the ankle at that. He had no business putting that kind of pressure on her and Niall got the message loud and clear, but she seemed to miss the interaction altogether and opened up her mouth to try and get some words out. “How…” she frowned at the sound of her own groggy voice, and tried clearing her throat but it came out the same, “How long was I…?”

“A few days. Nothing major. Don’t worry about that. You’ve made a full recovery, so nothing to worry about whatsoever! You still have some scarring that will fade but I guarantee there will be no marks left to tell for them. And of course, you need to build your strength back, but at the pace you’re going, you should be on your feet as soon as tomorrow!”

Harry shot up his eyebrows to Niall’s statement as he watched him prod at her further, making her follow a small light he fished out of his breast pocket and then asking her more questions to assess her reflexes and awareness. Wasn’t that a bit too optimistic? He’d never heard of anyone making such a speedy recovery waking up from a coma. He didn’t want Niall to create false expectations for her.

“In fact, I’m discharging you today!”

Y/N was just as surprised as Harry to hear that she was going to be ok to leave so soon. She had no idea how long she’d been out of it exactly, but she disliked hospitals as much as the next person, so she was glad for it.

“Now… I know this is a sensitive subject, so I’m going to step out and leave you two to it, but I’m going to have to need you to tell me if you want me to send over a nurse to look after you for a day or two at home, or if you’re comfortable with nurse Harry over here,” Niall nudged over to his friend. “There’s really nothing special he needs to do, just make sure you take your meds on time and keep an eye on you, make sure you make no sudden movements, make sure you hydrate and feed yourself properly, you’re still going to need to sleep as much as possible so it’s easy to lose track of all that yourself.”

Y/N made to say something but stammered, trailing off and Niall took it as his cue to leave the room, but not before praising her for her recovery again, “You’re doing great, Y/N. I’m so happy to see you on the mend. Had us worried for a moment there, but you’re a fighter.” 

Harry watched his friend close the door behind him and then turned back to look at his little human and found her eyes already on him. He was still holding her hand, running his thumb over her skin in soft strokes all along, and he took one more look at the sight of her small hand in his before he removed himself in order to give her the space she needed to make the decision.

He looked back at her then and his heart soared at the sight. He didn’t know whether it was the drugs she was on, but the brazen look in her eyes and the way she didn’t shy away from his as she sometimes did had his own heart pounding against his ribcage. For the first time ever, he didn’t know how to approach her. She intimidated him. A feeling so foreign to him. He didn’t think anyone had ever made him look away, stare him down to the point where he had to break eye contact. Surely it was the guilt he felt, he reasoned. 

“Are you alright?” she whispered as to not strain her vocal cords. Her voice sounded more like her old self when she did that, she found.

Again, Harry felt his heartbeat pick up at her concern for him. “I am now. How are you feeling? Are you hurting?”

She shook her head slightly, “I feel fine. It’s like I just woke up from a deep sleep. But I remember the pain…” she winced at the thought, and Harry made to grab her hand in his again but stopped himself just short of.

Instead, she stretched her arm ever so slightly and grazed his hand with the back of her fingers. Both of them watched intently as their fingers intertwined. Harry couldn’t fight the urge to raise their conjoined hands to his lips and kiss hers. “I was so afraid I’d lost you,” he murmured against her soft skin, his brows furrowed and eyes shut tightly.

She understood all the different meanings to his statement and wanted to say the same. But she needed more time. She needed to clear her head a bit. But she also needed him, that she knew for sure. She didn’t want to go home without him. Not after she thought she was going to lose him, herself. No. She wanted him near. “So take me home, nurse Harry.” 

*

Y/N felt exhausted by the time Harry had brought her back to his house. He’d carried her all the way, to and from his car, and she could’ve sworn she felt his heart threatening to break free from his chest as she laid her head atop of it, in his arms. She’d never seen him drive that slow, avoiding every little pothole just so she could be as comfortable as possible for the small journey to his house. She knew they needed to talk and clear the air, but she didn’t have the energy for it quite yet. She was happy he was alive, and she allowed herself to bask in that feeling. 

She’d asked him to run her a bath, the sponge baths the nurses had been apparently giving her had left her sufficiently clean but she felt like she needed to really soak and preferably wash her hair too. Harry wasn’t too sure about that, though. He wanted to give her space, but this could be too dangerous for her still weakened state. He didn’t want to push it and suggest he get into the tub with her, but he told her he’d be standing by the whole time and wash her hair for her, and she agreed to it.

He tried looking away when she undressed, and he even helped her to an extent, but then he reasoned he needed to assess how her bruising and scarring was developing. He was pleasantly surprised to see her skin was barely tainted.

And Y/N was very aware of his eyes on her, on the way his blood quickened in his veins, could almost guarantee he’d stiffened in his pants at the sight of her bare body before him, but she couldn’t act on it as much as her own body was responding to their closeness. She needed time. Her body needed time, too, not just her heart and her mind.

He helped her climb into the tub and sink into the perfectly warm water and Harry sat on the floor next to it and leaned on the margin, looking at her through bubbles, content to have her safe in his presence. Content to know she wasn’t in any pain. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky. It seemed like a miracle that she was awake, let alone able to do all this so rapidly. 

But he didn’t want to tell her how close he’d been to losing her. Didn’t want to tell her how worried Niall had been and adamant she wasn’t going to wake up. Didn’t want to tell her that he’d been prepping himself for losing her for good, telling her all he had weighing heavy on his heart.

They sat in silence, and it was perfect. She was there. She was alive and well. And she’d not told him to get lost. His heart was hopeful.

Eventually, he helped her wash her hair, sitting on the edge of the tub behind her. He was extra gentle, and she hummed deeply at how good it must’ve felt. He was happy he could make her feel better, in any way.

And later, when she let him dress her in one of his shirts to bed, his heart soared. He wanted so badly to kiss her, just a soft peck. Just to be close, and communicate how he felt. But he wouldn’t push it. Her hair was still damp but the look in her eyes had gone soft and hazy, and he knew her energy was running low. He gave her her meds and helped her in bed, and then stood there stupidly, unsure what to do.

“Are you not tired?”

He nodded. He was exhausted. He’d barely slept for all those days, and he was still recuperating himself from fatal injuries. Of course, being a werewolf, his recovery was expedited, but he still felt weak. Above his physical injuries though was his mental exhaustion. He’d worried so much for her that he was now feeling it all catch up to him. 

“Will you hold me, then? I know you’re injured, too, so only if–”

She didn’t even have time to finish that sentence before Harry was undressing and climbing into bed behind her. He’d kept his boxers on- again, boundaries. But he tentatively reached for her soft body and pulled her into his chest, holding her to him.

Her own hands grabbed on to his arm and she nuzzled closer against him as he spooned her, “I just know I couldn’t fall asleep without your scent all around me,” she mumbled, already so close to falling asleep.

He’d not had time to shower himself that day, so hopefully it wasn’t off-putting for her. But he’d get that done in the morning. As well as cook for them, his appetite was growing now that all was well in the world again. And, well, he’d have to do something about the erection he was trying to keep from pressing into her. He was determined to give her the space she needed and that meant keeping his urges at bay. 

He was so happy she was in his arms, he felt like crying from happiness. It was hard refraining from smothering her in his affections when she was right there, pressed against his chest.

“Oh…” she gasped softly. “Is that… are you purring?”

Harry froze and immediately stopped, “‘m sorry, thought you’d fallen asleep…”

“No, no. Don’t stop. I like it. Please keep doing it?”

Harry didn’t even have to force himself to, just hearing her asking him to purr had him doing so naturally. It felt incredible to be able to do so freely, after having to hide it from her for so long. His natural reaction to her proximity when he felt happy and warm and fuzzy. 

She giggled. Harry smiled widely at the feel of her trembling in delight in his arms, and it spurred him further, tightening his arms around her a bit more, still careful not to harm her in any way though. “This feels amazing…” she trailed off, drifting into unconsciousness. Harry agreed wholeheartedly.

*

Harry had woken her up at around 6am to give her her meds, then before she could drift back to sleep he told her he’d be stepping out very briefly in the morning to restock their fridge so he could cook something for them, as promised, making a point out of how he’d be back before she’d even wake up but in case she needed anything, anything at all, she was to call him ASAP. 

But she was feeling fine, in fact, she’d used the bathroom before going back to sleep all on her own, no need for him to help her to the ensuite, she was just very tired still.

So when she woke up later, she didn’t really need to go downstairs and check to know that Harry was not back yet. In fact, he’d probably just left since his scent was still lingering pretty heavily around her. Plus she couldn’t smell any cooking taking place.

Still, just to be sure, she got out of bed and decided to go inspect. She was feeling… surprisingly fresh and reinvigorated. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up so well-rested. She couldn’t believe she’d suffered any injuries, she was feeling fine. More than fine. 

Strange.

But she wasn’t gonna complain about it. She did feel hungry though, so she was hoping Harry would be back soon from grocery shopping and she was determined to convince him to let her help. She had a burst of energy and couldn’t imagine being made to lay in bed for one more day.

She still felt like this house had way too many rooms. Was way too big. Who needed all this space?! She liked it, she really did, but she much preferred the cosiness of her own home. That was probably what was wrong with it, this just felt like a house, not like a home.

It hadn’t been lived in all that long, to be sure. But still. Passing by a spare guest room she suddenly stopped in her tracks.

She furrowed her brows, following the overwhelming scent she was picking up on, coming from that room.

She’d expected it to be a laundry room with the kind of scent she was picking up on, but there were no hampers lying around the room. It all smelled of brand new furniture, except for one specific chest of drawers. 

Approaching it, she reluctantly opened up the uppermost drawer, on a whim. 

Her eyes rounded in shock. She gingerly picked one of the several pairs of panties. Not just any panties, but her very own. Her very own used panties. 

She dropped them back and took a step back, incredulous laughter escaping her lips that she then covered, still in shock. “...Holy shit!”

Maybe she should’ve found it repulsive, she reasoned, but to her dismay she found this was turning her on for some reason. She didn’t know what it was about her discovery, but it awakened something in her, something very… primal. 

But she didn’t really have time to contemplate this when she heard the faint sound of a car door. The huge, semi furnished house must’ve had quite the echo if she could hear him out front when she was on the other side of the house entirely.

Nonetheless, she decided to bring it up later, use it to her advantage somehow, the idea sending a thrill through her body.

For now, she needed to eat. She was truly ravenous. 

She made her way into the kitchen, just in time for Harry to emerge with the groceries. He was being very careful and quiet in his movements, but she noticed him rush to the kitchen after he’d entered the house, almost as if he knew she’d be there.

“What are you doing here!?”

She shrugged, “Waiting for you. I’m hungry, you said you’d be quick.”

Harry didn’t know whether to be annoyed or glad. He was happy she was feeling good enough to get out of bed, happy she was hungry, but he’d told her to take it easy. “I told you to call if you needed something!”

“Why? I knew you were probably on your way back, and I don’t exactly need anything. But you’re letting me help.”

Harry placed the groceries on the island, taking her in. She was quite sassy all of a sudden. Again, there was something about the way she was looking at him. Something was just… different. Like she was challenging him, more than before. She was never the meek and obedient kind, and that’s one of the things he liked about her, but now… she’d amped it up a notch. Or two.

And he liked it.

“Is that so?”

She nodded. “Are we making eggs benedict?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, his lips quirking up in a smile. “I am. You’re gonna wait on the couch all snuggled up.”

Y/N frowned, “But I’m tired of lying around! How long was I even out for, I feel like my muscles need a good stretch! Could we go for a swim later? Besides, you went for a jog yourself, don’t be selfish!”

Harry was taking all of this in, trying to process what she was saying. He wasn’t all that familiar with human recovery, but this sounded out of the ordinary, even to him.

“It was just a quick run before I headed out. I’ll have to check with Niall and see if he approves. He told me to make sure you take it easy.”

“Yeah, nurse Harry, I remember. But surely swimming isn’t too strenuous… I just wanna stretch my limbs a bit.”

Harry had a different idea as to how he could help her with that but he kept it to himself. For now. Especially with how he was certain he could smell hints of arousal on her. But he knew he couldn’t dream of pursuing that idea until they had a serious talk about what had happened. And he was waiting for her to initiate that conversation. For now, he had to burn off his pent-up energy by doing things out of character, like jogging. He would’ve skipped it had he known she’d be up so soon. For as long as he’d known her, Y/N had never been a morning person. And now especially, she should’ve been still in bed, recovering. But it was barely 9am and here she was, giving him lip that early in the morning.

“I just don’t know where,” she mumbled while she started unpacking the groceries. “Can’t exactly go back to the preserve…”

Harry furrowed his brows even deeper watching her unpack the groceries. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of it all. “How did you know I was planning on eggs benedict?”

Y/N shrugged, “Guess I had a hunch? Oh, crap. The hollandaise is dripping!”

Harry approached her side to inspect the jar, luckily not much had dribbled down the side of it, “Yeah, I opened it up to check if it was any good otherwise I’d have had to make it from scratch. The lid must’ve unscrewed on the way here…”

Part of him wondered if she’d smelled the sauce, and that’s what had given it away, but there was no way she could smell that tiny bit that had dribbled out of the jar. He could smell it now, of course, being as close as he was to the opened bag, but had he been able to get a whiff of it earlier he’d have secured the lid in place.

Y/N was having a hard time with him so close to her. He smelled delicious, all manly after his jog. She felt like burying her nose into his neck and forgetting all about breakfast. Suddenly she had a different appetite that needed sating. And then there was the tiny detail about him collecting her discarded panties…

No sooner did she finish even thinking about that, that Harry pulled away as if electrocuted and she watched him take a few tentative steps back. “What’s wrong?”

“I just remembered I’m long overdue a shower, I must reek. I’ll be quick, please don’t start without me, alright? Turn on the TV or something, sit.”

She rolled her eyes and watched him rush for the staircase. Fine. She’d wait. 

Harry had not allowed himself any reprieve since this whole nightmare had started. The first good night’s sleep he’d gotten was that very night, with Y/N safe and sound in his arms, in his bed. The jog earlier that morning was meant to help him blow off some steam, but Y/N’s proximity was making it very hard for him to ignore his urges, especially when he most definitely smelled hints of arousal on her.

He was determined to keep it in check for her sake, and aside from the fact that he really did need to shower, quite desperately so, he was also going to jerk off to clear his head a bit.

He came way too fast, and very hard since he’d not released in over a week. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d gone so long without. Probably not since he’d first masturbated as a teenager, which was saying something. But it left him unsatisfied. He needed more. He huffed his frustration but then heard a loud knock on the ensuite door. He turned the shower off so he could hear her properly, “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“You tell me! It sounded like you were in pain, are you alright?!” a very distraught Y/N could be heard from the other side. Harry frowned. Surely he hadn’t been that loud when he came. And the water should’ve muffled it. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” He quickly grabbed a towel, placing it around his hips and holding it together in his fist as he emerged from the ensuite, taking in the distressed look on her face.

But her look of distress quickly morphed into something else. He could visibly see her eyes darken as she unashamedly scanned him head to toe, her hungry gaze following the path the water droplets were making on their way down his body.

She took a step closer, then, to his surprise. He was already hardening again just taking in her own body’s response to his. And Harry definitely noticed the way her eyes widened when they reached the way he was tenting his towel, even held snug around his hips as it was.

And he could definitely smell her arousal, too. She must’ve been dripping with how potent it was. Harry was in limbo, frozen in place waiting for her to do something, anything. He knew she desperately wanted him, just as much as he wanted her, but he wasn’t going to push her. Not when he knew there was so much to–

His throat went dry immediately when her eyes traveled back up to meet his. Her eyes. It couldn’t be…

“I, uh, I forgot something in the car! Be right back!” he stammered, clutching his towel tightly as he made his way downstairs in a rush, all wet and slippery on the marble floor.

He not only went outside, but surpassed his car parked out front, and instead circled the property all the way to the furthermost corner of the expansive garden. He’d made sure to grab his phone first from the kitchen island where he’d left it, and dialed Niall’s number as soon as he was as far away from the house as he could get, given his state of undress.

An amused voice sounded from the other end when Niall finally picked up, “So… did you figure it out, yet?”

Chapter 12

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) What do you think this all means for Harry & Y/N? Did you vote correctly?

please remember to like & reblog if you enjoyed this, and most importantly, come share your thoughts on it with us here 💌

if you feel so inclined, you can buy us a coffee here☕

🐺follow us on wattpad to get notified whenever we post something new/update!🐺

[sluttywonwoo]

instead of you [part thirty-one] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, smut (mdni)

word count: 2.3k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

additional smut warnings: edging, orgasm denial, spanking, protected sex

It was in fact, not the last time you would sleep with Minho. Despite saying so, you continued to sneak into his room every night after Jisung fell asleep. You’d fuck, sometimes twice, and then go back to the room you shared with your best friend like nothing happened. To say that the guilt was eating you alive would be an understatement. But for whatever reason, you didn’t stop. 

All it would take was a single look from Minho, a glimpse of him shirtless in the pool, a smirk directed at you, and you’d decide you needed him. You were so weak when it came to him. It was pathetic.

Minho always let you do the initiating when it came to sex. He never pushed, but he didn’t exactly try to deter you either. At first, you convinced yourself that it was just because he was like every other twenty-something-year-old guy: always horny. Never one to turn down getting laid when the opportunity presented itself. But every time you hooked up, you’d notice things that seemed to suggest otherwise. 

Like how he always put your pleasure first. That could simply be attributed to him being a good lover, but it felt different. It wasn’t like he was trying to get you to cum as fast as possible so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it when it was his turn. No, he took his time with it, wanted to make it last because he genuinely enjoyed making you feel good. It seemed like each time you had sex he was trying to make you cum more times than the last. And then afterward, when you were both still catching your breath, he’d hold your hand, play with your hair, coax you into staying five extra minutes, things that friends with benefits don’t do. 

You’d be a fool to fall for him. But it was far too late for that. You had wanted him before you ever slept together. Before he kissed you for the first time. And now that you’d had him, you didn’t want to go back. 

You can tell Minho feels guilty too. You see it in the way he looks at Jisung when his back is turned. He’s less vocal about it than you but you know it’s there. 

-

The second to last day in Bali is spent hiking. Your foot had mostly healed by then, but the news was still devastating to you. 

“Do you ever read the itinerary?” Jisung groaned upon hearing your complaints. 

“I like being surprised.”

“That’s a fucking lie,” he said, calling your bluff. “You’re just lazy.”

You gasped and held your hand to your heart, feigning offense. Jisung rolled his eyes at you. 

“Come on, get up, get dressed. It’s matching t-shirt day.”

“Nooo, I forgot about that.”

“You only have to do it one more time after this,” he reminded you. 

Only one more time. That’s right... there was only one more stop on the trip before you all flew back to Seoul and spent the last two weeks of summer there. You expected to feel relief but you were filled with anxiety instead. You couldn’t pinpoint the reason as to why but you suspected it had to do with the whole fucking your best friend’s brother behind his back thing. 

“You still with me?” Jisung asked. “Did you zone out?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“S’alright. We better start getting ready, though.”

You nodded absentmindedly and made your way over to your suitcase to grab a change of clothes. You were moving on autopilot, not even aware of what you were doing until suddenly you were fully dressed and ready, sitting between Felix and Minho at the kitchen bar as Jisung blended up a smoothie for the four of you. 

You couldn’t remember brushing your teeth or putting on sunscreen but your mouth tasted minty and your skin was sticky from the lotion. 

Minho nudged your elbow. “You okay?” he asked. 

“Fine.”

Jisung glanced at his older brother and then you, sliding your smoothies across the counter wordlessly. 

“Thank you,” you practically whispered as you accepted yours.

Did he know? No, if he knew he certainly wouldn’t be speaking to either of you. But did he suspect? It wasn’t like you and Minho were being that careful... he could have easily picked up on what was going on. 

You tried taking a sip of your smoothie but it wasn’t melted enough to go through the straw. 

“Here,” Jisung said, leaning over the bar to stick a spoon in your cup. 

“Thanks, babe.”

He winked at you. “No problem.”

Okay, so maybe he didn’t know and was just annoyed with Minho. That could also be an explanation. 

Jisung’s parents assured you that the hike was an easy one but you were still skeptical. Hiking in general was an activity you preferred not to partake in, regardless of the level of difficulty. 

You liked getting out and going places... that were inside.. with air conditioning. Hiking, kayaking, cycling, all on the list of no’s for you. You were simply not an outdoorsy person. You’d much rather go to a tasting at a local brewery or sit through a play in a language you didn’t understand. To be fair, the trip had a good balance of both, so you couldn’t complain too much. The Hans, on the other hand, were outdoorsy people so you should have seen it coming anyway.

Getting to Campuhan Ridge required a short bus ride over to the site for the walk. You sat on Jisung’s lap since it was so crowded, listening to him argue with Felix about fruit. 

“They are good for you!” Jisung cried in exasperation.

“All I’m saying is that that much sugar can’t be healthy.”

“It’s naturally made sugar- I’m the one in culinary school here! I know what I’m talking about!”

The hike turned out to be relatively easy, as Nikki and Dom had claimed it to be. It wasn’t too high up either. Views of rice terraces and forests stretched on for miles in each direction, greenery as far as the eye can see. 

The only downfall was how hot it was. You were sweating not even ten minutes in and the baseball cap you were wearing did nothing to block out the sun. 

You stopped somewhere in the middle of the walk to take some pictures. It had been Nikki’s idea since she’d brought her Nikon along with her, but Jisung also asked Minho to take a couple pictures of just the two of you while Felix did the same thing for their parents. 

You wrapped both of your arms around Jisung and smiled as wide as you could manage. Jisung smiled too, squeezing your hip. 

“Okay, now do something different,” Minho directed. “The smiling is boring.”

You shrugged and raised yourself on your tiptoes to kiss Jisung’s cheek. “O-okay that’s good too,” Minho muttered. 

Jisung chuckled quietly, his body vibrating beneath your lips. It made you lose your balance but your best friend caught you before you could stumble.

“Woah, you alright there, y/n?” Dom called as he, Nikki, and Felix rejoined the three of you. 

You clung to Jisung and laughed. “Yes, thanks to him!”

“It seems like I’m always catching her,” he sighed. “Where would you be without me?”

“Dead, probably.”

His mother smiled fondly at your little display and you patted yourself on the back internally. You still had a role to play, after all. 

The sun had drained everyone so you headed back to the resort early. Felix and Minho went to pick up some take-out food while the rest of you showered off the day and waited for them to return. 

After dinner, you ended up in Minho’s bed again. It was routine at this point. Pretend like you’re going to bed with everyone else, wait for Jisung to fall asleep, wait fifteen more minutes to make sure he’s really out, and then sneak off to Minho’s room. His room was all the way on the other side of the treehouse thing you were staying in which was both fortunate and unfortunate. It was fortunate because it wasn’t close to Jisung where you might accidentally wake him up, but it was unfortunate because it meant you had to walk through the entire place in the dark to get to it. 

“Took you long enough,” Minho had grumbled when you showed up. 

“Aw did you miss me that much?” you teased. 

Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood to take his time with you because in a matter of minutes he had you pressed face down on the mattress as he fucked you from behind, holding on to your hips so tightly you thought he might leave bruises in the shape of fingerprints. 

It was a position the two of you hadn’t tried together yet but you were already loving it. Minho could go faster and deeper than when he was fucking you in missionary and it had you on the edge in record time. Except he wasn’t letting you cum.  

For whatever reason, every time you warned him that you were close, he would slow down or come to a complete stop, waiting until the feeling had passed to start again. He even held you in place so that you couldn’t fuck yourself back on his cock and finish yourself off- he’d learned to do that after you’d tried to do it the first time he denied your orgasm. 

“You’re so mean!” you sobbed, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. He’d stopped again, ironically rubbing your back soothingly as the pleasure ebbed away for the umpteenth time.  

Minho just laughed and pulled you up by your hair so that he could look at your face. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are! I need to cum and you won’t let me!”

“That’s your fault for telling me you like to be edged.”

God damn your big mouth. You didn’t even remember telling him that but you didn’t doubt that you had because it was true. You did like being edged but this was torture. 

“Don’t listen to past me! Listen to present me!” you begged. 

“Nice try.”

“Fuck!” 

He started moving again but slowly. It wasn’t enough to make you cum but it did make you even needier. You gripped the bed sheets as he thrust into you over and over again, trying in vain to get him to go faster.

“Always so fucking wet for me,” Minho hissed, slapping your ass lightly. You yelped in surprise. “Shh, baby.”

“I’m trying!” you whispered.

“Try. Harder. Then.”

You wanted to quip back but the words died on your lips as you felt the coil in your stomach tightening again. You didn’t tell Minho this time, hoping that he wouldn’t notice. He did, of course. Your pussy was fluttering like crazy around him and you weren’t able to control it. 

Minho stopped completely, this time snaking an arm under your body so that he could pull you up on his lap. You cursed under your breath at the change in angle. 

“You were about to cum without saying anything, weren’t you? Fucking brat.”

“I forgot?” you mumbled. 

He scoffed in disbelief. “You’re really testing my patience, you know that?”

“I guess it’s a good thing it turns you on then.”

Minho let out a sound of annoyance and brought his free hand down to your cunt so that he could rub your clit. The smirk fell from your face immediately. 

And then he started moving his hips, just enough so that your g-spot and your clit were being stimulated at the same time. 

You whimpered out that you were close when you felt your orgasm approaching again, which seemed to please Minho. But he wasn’t going to let you off that easy. 

“You want to cum? Beg for it.”

“Please, Minho! Please let me cum, I’ll be good, I promise!”

You didn’t hear what he said next because your ears were ringing from the intensity of your climax. You were vaguely aware of him cumming right after you but you didn’t register much aside from his body going tense underneath yours. You rode out your orgasm until the spots in your vision subsided and your legs stopped shaking, flopping onto the bed like a ragdoll. 

Minho was quick to lay down beside you, having recovered from his orgasm much faster than you had. 

“That wasn’t too much, was it?”

You shook your head. “It was perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard in my life. Not even by myself.”

You probably shouldn’t be feeding into his ego so much, but considering how good he was in bed it was at least a little deserved. 

He grinned proudly and rolled onto his side to kiss you. “I’m glad.”

-

You took another shower before going back to bed. That had become another part of your routine since you started sleeping with Minho regularly. You’d take a shower before dinner for the sake of appearances, and then you’d take a second shower after messing around with Minho. There was no way you could just hop back into bed with Jisung all sweaty and gross. It would be a dead giveaway, not to mention disgusting. 

The second shower always made you feel dirtier than it did clean. It felt like you were washing off the evidence not only literally, but figuratively too. You supposed that was to be expected, though. What wasn’t to be expected, however, was your best friend waiting outside of the bathroom for you when you got out of the shower. 

You jumped when you heard his voice, nearly knocking your head against the wall. Your eyes had yet to adjust so it was hard to see him but he was there, arms crossed over his chest defensively. You already knew what he was going to say before he said it but the question made your blood run cold nonetheless. 

“Is there something going on between you and Minho?”

sorry for skipping out on the taglist again- I'm babysitting tn so I'm posting from my laptop (lmk what you think though i always appreciate feedback!!)

add yourself to the taglist here!

[silverameco]

Angel/Demon AU - @wolfstarmicrofic - 834 words

Remus was sitting on a bench just outside of the school, watching Harry talk with his friends, when a beautiful creature approched him. They were wearing something completely inappropriate for the middle of the afternoon, black miniskirt, fishnet tights and platform boots. Long black hair, porcelain skin, smudged eyeliner and fiery grey eyes. But most of all, they had that unmistakable charm and aura that could only belong to dark beings. Remus himself felt drawn to them.

He had to admit, he was surprised. And curious. He didn't encounter a lot of demons these days, most of them got bored of tormenting humans when they already did it better themselves. So they tended to stick to souls and their appearance on earth became rarer over the centuries.

This one though, sat gracefully next to him, charming smile on their face.

"Hi handsome, what's your pretty name ?"

The tone was obviously flirtatious, something that, Remus suspected, was working miracles with humans. Not that he wasn't affected, but still it sounded a bit superficial.

"I'm Remus. And yours ?" he smiled anyway. "What are you doing here ?"

The fire in the demon's eyes seemed to grow, as well as their smile, that turned a bit hungry. "Name's Sirius. And, well, i guess that's for you to decide, Remus." They said his name with a syrupy sweet voice.

"No. I meant what are you doing on earth, demon ?" Remus smirked.

Their fake smile dropped and their eyes widened, but otherwise they just laughed. You could count on demons to not be deterred by anything.

"I thought you were human !"

"Yeah, I could tell."

"Well, what are you ? I've never seen you before." Their gaze seemed to scrutinize him.

"I'm an angel."

The demon - Sirius - visibly recoiled at that. They were properly suprised now. "One of the big bosses ? What are you doing on earth ?!"

Remus laughed. "I'm not that kind of angel. I'm a guardian angel. It's my job to be on earth.".

They seemed to relax at that. "Your job." They repeated in a mocking tone. "Angels, always so well-behaved." they sighed, an amused smile on their face. "So, who's your lucky human then ?"

Remus glanced back towards Harry. He hadn't even noticed that he stopped looking at him. That could not be good.

"That kid over there. Unruly hair, crooked glasses."

"No way !" Sirius seemed delighted. "That's James' son !"

Remus was confused now. How could this demon know Harry's dad ? "You- what ? How do you know that ?"

"James is my human friend." they said like it was nothing. "I find him every few lifetimes."

"Well, I fear you might be a bit late in this one." Remus answered in an apologetic voice. "He died already."

"Oh. Well he does have the tendency to die stupidly young." Sirius seemed lost in thoughts now.

That's when Remus remarked the parents waiting for their kids outside of the school, and their wary looks towards them. Or towards Sirius more specifically, seeing as they could not see him.

"Hey, Sirius. If you're staying, do you mind making yourself invisible before a worried mother calls the cops on you ?"

"Whoops." then they proceeded to do just that. "So when do we start ?"

Remus whirled around, taken aback. "What ?"

Sirius put their head on his shoulder with a genuine smile. "Well, I thought maybe I could help you, since I'm here."

Remus couldn't help it, he laughed. It was a ridiculous idea. "Demons don't help guardian angels ! They rather make our jobs harder." he said with a pointed look.

"Nah, you must know better than me that the humans' biggest ennemies are themselves. We're just having a little fun."

Well, he couldn't argue with that logic. Before he could find any answer, Sirius all but crawled on his lap, fluttering their eyelashes at him.

"Please Remus. Promise I'll be helpful. I'm just a bored eternal being. And I'd never harm James' kid."

There was only so much one could endure before they caved in, right ? Even as an angel. Remus agreed before he could think this through. "Yeah, ok."

"Great ! Let's go, he's leaving !"

Harry was indeed finally going home. As he stood up to follow him, Sirius climbed him to settle on his shoulders. He sighed.

"What are you doing ?"

"Making sure you don't forget me."

Remus hadn't planned on starting his mission with a beautiful and clingy demon on his shoulders, but he figured he didn't mind that much.

[justcallmehappy]

“Rain”

(Step 2) Qiu Lin x gn!MC

Synopsis: Rain was always bittersweet to you. However, for Mx. Qiu Lin, it was the opposite. They find the rain calming, so why is it that Qiu and your opinions have switched today?

Word count: 1.3k

a/n: this was angstier than i meant it to be… also, i haven’t written in a bit so i’m pretty rusty. still, i hope you enjoy!

A song to listen to while reading:

Pitter patter, pitter patter.

Thump!

Your backpack drops onto the floor, utterly soaked. Of course, you are, too.

You made the mistake of not checking the weather to see if it would rain today. Since it was so sunny this morning, you simply assumed it would be nice and warm all day.

Oh, how wrong you were.

“Ugh…”

Still standing in the entryway, you peel your sweater off, scrunching your nose up at the sensation that never fails to make the hairs on your arms prickle.

Though it’s safe to say the weather isn’t the only thing that’s dampened your mood.

Tamarack caught a cold; another reason as to why you were in this predicament in the first place.

She always makes sure to check the weather.

The floorboards creak as you make your way up the stairs and into your room to get changed into something a little less soggy.

Normally you would shower, but your fingers itched to glide across the keys of your beloved piano.

Ah yes, your piano.

Qiu used to joke that you enjoyed the object’s company more than their own; that was a lie, of course.

When you moved into Golden Grove, your mother offered to sign you up for some extra curricular activities; that included piano.

Quickly, you fell in love with the instrument. It was sort of an escapism for you; a way to tell a beautiful story without having to say a word.

And so, you bound down the stairs, emitting a loud groan from creaky old things as you eagerly approach the beautiful baby grand.

A soft smile eases its way onto your lips as you stand in front of the sheek instrument. Gently, you run a finger over the shiny, black surface.

A thin layer of dust goes along with your finger as you pull away, but you pay it no mind as you turn to the strewn about pile of sheet music on top of the piano.

Shuffling through the papers, you find a song you’ve recently learned; all on your own, outside of private lessons.

You deem that its nostalgic sound is fitting for a day like today, and promptly pull out the piano bench your mother had bought from the antique store just for you.

You sit down on the familiar, worn mahogany cushion as you place the music onto the stand.

Your fingers hover over their starting positions as your eyes trace the familiar bars of music.

Then, you begin to play.

Qiu lets out a long sigh as they stare out their window, sprawled across their bed.

This is what they’ve been doing for the past fifteen minutes; just… lying there, watching the rain droplets fall.

There’s something about rainy days that’s always managed to calm Qiu’s restless mind. However, today is different.

They feel… off.

Unsettled.

Uncomfortable.

Why? Well, that’s the very same thing they’re mulling over right now.

“Tamarack’s sick; but that can’t be it…”

After all, the two aren’t friends anymore.

Qiu’s brows furrow at the thought and their mind drifts to someone they are friends with.

You.

You, still the kind and caring kid you’ve been since you first met on that fateful day a little over four years ago now.

Sometimes Qiu would feel guilty; their relationship with Tamarack surely put you in an awkward position, but you’d never shown any signs of discomfort, much less talked about it.

You’ve always managed to intercept and mediate any arguments they’ve had, though they’d be an idiot to miss the worried and tired undertones of your voice and expressions.

Of course, Tamarack never noticed.

Stupid Tamarack.

Qiu rolls over onto their back, fixing their gaze onto their off-white ceiling.

When they were little they used to beg their parents to put up little glow in the dark stars on the ceiling so it could look like they were staring at the sky as they fall asleep, but their parents refused, saying it would just wake them up more.

Qiu still didn’t understand their logic; the stars are relaxing, fake or not.

Suddenly, they sit up.

They’d reached a conclusion; they’d go over to your house. You’d know a way to entertain them, no matter how much you complained that you weren’t their jester.

Qiu’s legs swing over the side of their bed as they get up to retrieve their navy blue damp coat from the sad pile in the middle of the floor.

Zipping up their jacket, they quietly shuffle down their stairs and to where they left their shoes earlier.

Their father was busy on a meeting with a client and their mother was out on a grocery trip.

Not that they need permission to visit you.

The fluffy rim of their hood tickles them as they pull it up and open their front door.

Whoosh!

Their hood is immediately blown off and a cold, stinging sensation barrades their face.

They frown and wipe their cheeks of the relentless droplets that just pelted them.

Qiu suppresses a shiver as they once again pull up their hood, this time clutching it to their head.

A huff comes from their mouth, a white cloud of breath with it; it shouldn’t take this much effort just to see what their neighbor is doing, but it does.

That annoys them.

However, deep down, they know that you’d do the same for them if they ever called on you.

Which Qiu hasn’t. And Qiu won’t.

They trudge through the long, grueling two minute walk to your house. However, instead of going to the front door, they decide to go to the back, just to switch things up a little.

There’s already been so much change these past few months, why not sprinkle in a little more?

They groan as they realize just how much more suffering they’re putting themselves through just by that one harmless decision.

But it’d be worth it.

As they approach your back door, they’re about to knock until they hear a quiet melody from inside.

Their fist hovers over the damp, wooden door as a delicate set of notes float through the air.

The wind gently pushes Qiu’s hood down again but they pay it no mind, instead blankly staring at the door in front of them.

Their bottom lip snags between their teeth as they clench their fists.

Damn it. They really didn’t feel like getting emotional today.

Why was the melody so sad yet happy at the same time?

Before they knew it, rain drops weren’t the only thing rolling down their cheeks.

As the gentle song plays through the air, Qiu’s gaze lowers to the porch beneath them. Their previous fist, now a limp hand, rests at their side.

Now they know why they’re crying.

This song gave them a sense of familiarity; their uncertainty of their identity yet at the same time, complete security in their friendship with you.

…Friendship.

That’s all it is. At least, that’s what they keep telling themselves.

Qiu sniffles, wiping a tear.

Why can’t they just be honest with themself?

You’ve always been special to them; they knew that. But they didn’t know if it was a friend kind of special or a romantic kind of special.

“…No,”

They murmur softly.

“…Not yet.”

Your fingers rest on the keys as you play the final chord of the song, smiling quietly to yourself.

Something about this song reminds you of Qiu. You can’t quite put a finger on why, but you thought that if Qiu were a song, this would be them.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, a flash of navy blue passes by the window in a familiar shape.

Your brows furrow as your gaze shifts to the backdoor of your home. Slowly, you stand.

You make your way over to the door, gripping the handle. Gently, you pull the door open.

“…Qiu?”

However, only the heavy rainfall greets you back.

Pitter patter, pitter patter.

[somethingblu3]

Mirror Mirror | Nikolai

Read on Ao3 here

18+ minors dni.

Fandom: Beyond The Rave (2008)

Summary:

You and Nikolai need to relieve your stress after a hunt.

TW: vampires,mirror sex,hate fuck,Vampire Sex,Rough Sex,standing sex,dirty talk,humiliation,biting,scratching,bruises,bram stoker lore ,blood drinking,Enemies to Lovers, vampires vs humans, vampire hunter,Possessive Sex,toxic,Unhealthy Relationships,dom/sub,No Safeword,forbidden relationship,hunting,Stress Relief,Orgasm Delay/Denial.

Pairing: Nikolai x female afab reader.

Word Count: 2,044

Graphic Credit: @keep-it-light

Note:

lightly edited. Still new to smut so let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy the buffy references! I'm trying to keep the vampire lore mostly in line with Bram Stroker. Here's the poem.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped killing my friends," Nikolai sneers as he watches you enter the basement, and you drop the wooden stake to the floor with a 'clank.'

You roll your eyes at him. "And it would be nice if your friends stopped eating mine," You warn him.

He scoffs as he steps forward, and his hand cups your right cheek. "Darling, what would be the fun in that? I know you love the chase I can feel it when your heart skips a beat. I just wish you would admit it," He whispers into your neck softly.

"Never." You groan from the tiredness and the physical exhaustion of the hunt for pleasure from his bite. You can't tell.

After a few sucks, he pulls away and wipes the crimson blood stating his chin with the back of his hand. "What's not enough for you, Nikolai?" You almost whine.

He smirks greedily "It's not that Darling, it's just that I have a little...surprise for you...a little..gift."

You raise a brow. Nikolai's gifts were never traditional gifts as you watch him scurry around the basement you half expect him to gift you a fresh head in a box you wouldn't put it past him.

You keep your eye focused carefully on him as he moves something tall and rectangular shaped in the shadows covered in a bed sheet. As Nikolai removes the cloth, uncovering the mirror. The light behind you bounces off the glass, creating a kaleidoscope. As he shrugs the rest of the fabric away in the reflection of the mirror, the cloth dances on its own accord.

"A mirror?" you frown.

Nikolai throws the bed sheet onto the ground and he scans the mirror even though he has no reflection he reaches forward and presses his finger against the faded text of the silver frame.

"I thought Silver was deadly for vampires" You say with a frown as your eyes escape your own reflection. It makes you uncomfortable your skin scrawls it's almost as if you don't want to face yourself and you know that Nikolai can hear your blood pumping.

"That's a myth" He tells you. He seems entranced by the mirror, his eyes mesmerized by it.

It almost broke your heart. he hadn't seen himself for who knows how long. It must be strange you knew one thing for sure that being turned would be the last thing you wanted not just because of the loss of your reflection but also because of the other factors not being able to see the sun hiding in the dark and the shadows all alone but then your heart skipped and you knew he felt it too. Nikolai wasn't alone. He had you even if you wanted nothing more than to stake his heart and rip his head off. There was a fondness you had for him even if it was small and often short-lived you couldn't lie to yourself that Man. That monster consumed you.

"This mirror's special to you, isn't it?" You ask

He nods and you watch as his adam's apple bobs.

"I guess you could say that. It's the last thing from my home before....before it happened"

The fire. You knew so little about his past but every now and then he would bring up the fire you had done your own research of course behind his back you couldn't trust him at first but from what you've found he had gone through something traumatic regarding a fire. Loosing not just a house but from the wording of the newspaper a wife and a baby. You couldn't help but sometimes wonder if he was looking to replace that in you.

You squint your eyes as you try and read the font that is wrapped around the frame of the mirror. Not only is it singed, it's also cursive and you quickly discover it is not in English.

"Romanian" He tells you firmly snapping you out of your haze - a side effect of his bite.

"What does it mean?" You ask

He hesitates for a moment, clenching his jaw "It's a poem"

"Will you read me it?" You request hopefully a smirk curls at the corner of your lips.

"I will it's your girl after all Darling but why don't we use it to it's full advantage hm?" He hums

You chew your bottom lip "What do you mean?"

Nioklai turns on his feet suddenly he's behind you. Swift vampire speed.

You roll your eyes as you feel his hands digging into your side shimming you out of your dirt stained trousers.

"Why don't you wear skirts anymore?" He teased dragging the fabric further and further to expose your underwear.

Dark blue with constellations. Cute.

You wished more than anything you could see his reflection in the mirror as he stood behind you. A shiver ran down your spine as he palmed your ass with his hand caressing it until it left marks you knew you would be purple and blue all over when morning came you would have to go back to wearing your long jumpers in the middle of summer so that your brother Ed wouldn't see.

"Your thinking about him, aren't you pet?" Nikolai teased as he hooked your finger in your underwear. You were already bared and aching for him.

You didn't say anything in return you knew that he was playing with you teasing and trying to get under your skin you focus on your own reflection in the mirror ignoring his taunts you weren't going to let him get off that easy.

"Your brother Ed. What would he think if he knew that his innocent sister was a Vampire's whore?" He taunted as he punctuated every word.

"He won't know. He will never know about this-" You say as you watch him from the corner of his eye and he lets out a dark chuckle.

"My dear. If he doesn't know by now I will make sure that he does by leaving these pretty little marks against your porcelain skin" His lips brush against your neck even tangled in your hair.

You moan into him, almost giving up on him entirely. Your body turned to mush as your underwear fell to the ground of the basement, your legs cold and shivering even colder against his ice skin.

"You promised me-" You whine as he pulls his lips back "A poem"

He groans "Your insatiable"

"I thought this was meant to be my gift Nikolai?" you frown with a pout as you try to find some way to play with him. To get him back for all the times he would easily turn your body into clay he could mold anyway he wanted.

"Now your going to be a good girl and I'll tell you the poem as long as you let me fuck you in front of this mirror" He orders

You nod. Purley out of habit. Fuck.

"Tell me, tell me that you want to do this-" He urges.

You know he doesn't actually want your consent he just makes you say it so he can taunt you about it later. That you wanted this - that you asked for this. Asked for his bruises burning against your skin branding you with his sharp claws.

"I--" you whimper as his finger nails dig deeper into your flesh he hasn't even entered you yet and you don't even need to see his reflection to know that he's enjoying this.

You heard him from behind as he undid his zipper with one hand. You could feel his jeans rubbing against you as they fell down you could feel him immediately and he wans' even pressing against you.

"Love-"

"I want this" You tell him and then he finally enters. He breathing into your ear.

"I think you deserve this gift from me my sweet"

You moan as you feel him ghost against you, the edge of his tip pressing against the softness of your skin.

"Your dripping for me already aren't you my love?" He teases as his hand reaches to press against your clit.

"Drenched-" He smirks.

You watch yourself in the mirror. Your head and eyes rolling back as he brushed teased and rubbed against you. You bite your bottom lip trying to conceal your sounds but you were in the basement and your brother was away with his girlfriend for the week so it wasn't as if it matters how loud you were. You just didn't want to hear yourself so exposed and so used by him. It was humiliating but at the same time...you enjoyed it, craved it even.

You try and move away to tease him but he already has you under his grasp under his will it was like you were possessed - hypnotized even as he grinds against you continuing to pick up the pace.

"No more teasing-tell me your damn poem" You groan. You could orgasm just from this alone not even touching his cock and boy does he know that.

"Alright fine" He grunts "But if you look away you know the consequences" He taunts as he takes a handful of your hair as a taunt. As a warning.

You moan in conformation.

"Good" You hear Nikolai behind you licking his lips as your eyes flutter back to your reflection.

"And suddenly I understood that without you I’m not completely sane myself, To run away and come straight back I’m tempted"

His thrusts increase with each word. You watch yourself your body jerking back you can feel his eyes on your tits as the bounce under your shirt. You don't normally wear a bra with your workout gear and with a hunt there was no need for one today.

Lucky Bastard.

There was something about hearing Nikolai grunt behind you his hand slapping into your ass as his thrusts changed rhyme from slow and steady to then fast hard and primal.

"To never know my place on Earth again. So fast did you become part of my blood, So much part of myself you are right now, A mere scratch would make me cry, For fear that I might lose you drop by drop"

"Nikolai-" You gasp.

You felt nothing but your mixed pleasure dripping between your legs. Already you were numb and soaked after this you knew you would need a long warm shower to escape his aroma.

"There is no springtime anywhere, With lifeless blossoms now you button up your coat. With springtime’s bitterness I look for honey, But you, my love, are there in its place."

You wish you could see him as he came undone grunting as he thrusted into you. You knew it was nearing the end as he brushed his fangs against your neck puncturing it still you watched yourself in the mirror. You could practically see his cock probing against your belly he was so far so deep and so tight. There was something about a vampire that was so different from anything else you had experienced before. Perhaps that was the reason why you found it almost impossible to escape his embrace.

Your neck is red now as he tears at it, ingesting your blood your body rocking back and forth his skin smacking against yours. You eyes fall to the floor as you watch your cum drip down to your legs.

"And suddenly I know that without you, I die myself and can’t come back to life, Although I had been born, as you well know,To be the one protecting you from-from"

He stutters, and it's a sight to behold. You watch as your undead lover comes undone, groaning as he thrusts into you once more, slamming you into him. You are already weak at the knees, and thanks to his powerful grasp, you are able to stay upright for the most part.

"Nikolai-" There's a sense of urgency in your voice as you urge him to come and to finish the poem.

"From yourself-" He grunts, and you roll your head back as you feel his body vibrate with pleasure, and he wraps you in a cold embrace. He breathes in and then out. It won't be long until he's back thrusting into you again.