#couldn’t get a pic of them together with the awards they won

[sluttyten]

Why were we robbed of a photo of them together 😭😭

[umadosedepascal]

W I N N E R | Pedro Pascal X f!reader | PART VIII

Written by Santa Trindade

Banner by @missyorkswhore

Made in Brazil

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: You couldn’t attend SAG awards but Pedro meets you late in the night to celebrate.

wc: 2.9k

rating/warnings: [a little drunk] [one spit][take a shower together][ride on thigh][Pedro begging in Spanish][little fluffy][Smut][unprotected PIV][oral sex m/f]

a/n: This was kind of a request. Enjoy whoever asked us for it! And sorry if there’s any mistakes on our English.Pedro was freaking HOT that night MY GOSH!Consider commenting and reblogging if you like it!

Its been a busy beginning of the year, Pedro has a lot of work going on and you as well.

You can barely see each other but when there's an opportunity to meet you just jump on it by him invinting you or just to be there at the same event.

When he won the People's Choice Award you just had to call him congratulating for the winning, and while you were talking he told you he was going to fly back to LA for SAG awards and really wanted to see you before come back to Canada.

That news made your day, and you had a good feeling that he was going for good.

Unfortunatelly you couldnt attend the award not even the after party for other reasons but you kept texting insanely each other during the event.

Pedro P: Hey honey, I'm already here. drinking some Casamigos with awesome people, wish you were here...

You: It's ok babe, have fun tonite! I bet you going to win and we can celebrate later..

Pedro P: Not sure, my dear. Kieran is taking them all 🥲 can't wait to see you later tonite.

You are laying on your couch with pajamas watching the award and his category comes up with an surprisingly announcement. Pedro wins, you start screaming on your apartment like your team scored on final championship.

DAMN, you are so proud of him and turn up the volume just to hear his speech loud and clear. Well, wasn't one of the best ones but you swirl your glass of wine bitting your bottom lip while he is saying he is a bit drunk and tear up with him as he mention how important this is for himself.

You realize is time to get ready to meet him, you let the TV on while going to take a shower and hear he's back live with Tan on backstage interview. It looked like more shenanigans than possible. The moment you hear him saying he would make out with Kieran and this is his revenge you automatically raise your phone for a sassiest nude pic and send him..

You: So, you want to make out with me or him? 🤣

You know he is buzzed and feeling the moment and know his not going to reply so soon but still piss and laughing at the same time.

After a couple hours you get a message

Pedro P: Mine or yours?

You: Inside me

Pedro P: This is what I wanted to. I will be there in 20.

You: Come to me Don Juan

Pedro P: haha 🤣

It's 1:30 am and you debating with your sleep just to keep yourself awake and see that Chilean Don Juan appear in front of your door. To keep it up you still drinking and looking at the app because he always share his location with you. Not to bother, you just wait with patience and see its moving faster. Means that he is coming towards your place. Your heart starts to accelerate and definitely you cannot wait to see him holding that heavy award on his hands..

You live in a quiet neighbour in West Hollywood, nothing happens like the crazyness on the other side. You sit in front of your door wearing a comfy robe when his car approaches the street.

"MAMA I WON!" He screams while getting off the car

You are like "SSSSH Pedro! It's 2 in the morning..😂"

Pedro holds you leading you back to your house and closing the door behind him.

"I'm so proud of you, even you saying those things on live TV, you were so funny, light and emotional. Can you believe I cried when you got on that stage saying anything but everything?"

"Yeah I, I, I was drunk babe..haha"

He leaves his award carefully by the door on the floor and when he comes back up to you his hands are already on your thighs sliding up giving you shivers and taking off your robe for good. Pedro holds the back of your neck while licking on it tracing a pat to your right ear saying "I win twice tonite huh..”

He grabs your hand and make you feel his hardon throught his pants, you let out a soft moan and rub your hands harshly on him, your mouths meet each other in a sloppy wet kiss. You can feel the taste of tequila and his tongue is tender and he is gentle on you.

You keep on your toes and whisper in his ear "are you sure this is all for me? Isn't it for Kieran or the other thousand people you wee flirting P?"

Pedro looks at you, those brown eyes getting darker, he raises an eyebrow and moves away from you, your heart beating faster when you see that man going to the middle of your living room.

Pedro stops and looks at you,

"Do you really think my cock is hard like that because of anyone other than you and this tight pussy?"

Each word Pedro was saying, he was opening a button on his shirt, so slowly that you felt your legs soften with every inch of skin that was emerging in front of you.

"Eyes on my dear, tell me, do you know how hard I got when I saw that pic you’ve sent me? How did I have to disguise it by holding my award?"

The last button is undone and Pedro takes his clothes off quickly now just on his undies. He sits in the sofa, legs open, he pops out a cigarette, you face him petrified, the way Pedro takes your living room, how this room seems ten times smaller and warmer with him there.

Pedro lights up the cigarette and drags it slowly, his head falling on the back of the sofa.

"Come here mama" he pats his left thigh twice. The view of him with the cigarette hanging on his lips, shirtless, the slightly reddish skin, the curls on his forehead, and those eyes that look like a burning brown sea drives you crazy.

You sigh, approach and ride on his left thigh.

You take the cigarette out of his mouth, take a drag and land on the ashtray.

While making sudden movements on his thigh you hold his jaw squeezing his cheeks and say "so, it means we have a winner here..." putting two fingers in his mouth, he sucks them and say softly.. "go down, I want to see how wet you are for me" you obey with a peck on his lips.

Sliding down your left hand through his hot chest giving a quick pass through the bulge over his boxers. the feeling is very hot and pleasurable..moving the fabric away from your panties you dip one finger only and move back into his mouth.

He opens his mouth slowly giving permission for you to pass on his lips and that was enough for him to hold the edges of your panties and strip down making you get up quickly and get rid of it.

Sitting back again on his thigh and making more abrupt movements and wetting him completely, a feeling of drowning, a smell of sex and expensive perfume with the taste of tequila coming from that mouth.

Pedro guides your hand to his cock and asks with some difficulty to caress him the way he likes it.

You drag your nails through the contour of his cock, the wet fabric of pre cum shows how Pedro is looking forward to you. You stroke his thighs, going up and down slowly, feeling how his skin chills, how his stomach contracts when your fingers get close to his cock.

You take back the cigarette and drag looking at him, your head falling to the side, watching how he seems lost and anxious.

“You look so beautiful kneeling to me," Pedro says taking the cigarette off your fingers.

Biting your lip you hold the sides of his undies, Pedro raises his hips helping you, the fabric going down his legs, you throw it to the floor.

Pedro holds his throbbing cock with his right hand, uncut, thick and veiny with a swolen red head looking like a huge strawberry, he makes movements up and down.

"Déjame sentir esa boca mama. Please" he says with half close eyes and husky voice.

You approach and hold his cock over his hand, squeezing and feeling how he pulsates. You lick the wet tip of pre cum, looking into his eyes you slowly suck only the tip, Pedro takes his hand off the cock and holds the armchair stroking it, cursing softly while you lick and teases him with your tongue.

"You're so hot, I've been wishing to suck you all night" before Pedro can answer you put his cock in your mouth, feeling the tip hit your throat, you feel him pulsating on your tongue, the bittersweet taste of the pre cum invading your throat. Pedro runs his hand in your hair, moving in circles encouraging you to swallow more, you choke but don't take him out of your mouth.

"Shit! I love it when you do that. Don't stop!"

You look into his eyes, Pedro wiping the tear that accumulates in the corner of your eyes. You take him out of your mouth just to jack him off while sucking his balls, Pedro throws his head back and moans loudly, no caring if anyone will hear him.

"Gosh! You're going to kill me"

You go up with your tongue licking his length, until you reach the tip you swallow it again feeling Pedro grabbing your hair tightly, guiding how he wants to fuck your mouth.

"Por favor…”

You feel that Pedro is about to cum in your mouth, with a pop you let it go and ask looking up at him "will there be a second round, babe?"

With his eyes closed and his mouth half open he nods a yes and you grab him again passing his tongue with more intensity on the frenum. He lets out a dense moan slightly squeezing the sides of your temple and arches his hip releasing jets of hot cum in your mouth. Pedro's moans get louder as you swallow his hot juice by sliding your nails on his thighs making him having goosebumps.

You get up and sit again on him facing front, caressing his graysh beard and kissing his neck and corner of mouth. He mouths a lazy smile biting his lower lip and says "I want more, I don't want it to end like this today without me satisfying you..."

Pedro looks at you from the corner of his eye, pointing to your bedroom.

“..taste you Ma’am..."

Lifting you up on his lap, you interlace your legs on his hip and he goes towards your bed throwing you into it and opening your legs with his knees.

He starts kissing your knees looking up at you, going down to your thighs alternating between each one licking and giving light nibbles, sometimes some bites that will leave you marks making you complain with pleasure "stop, Pedro"

"Stop?"

"No, no, keep going.." giggling.

This time Pedro went straight to the pot licking the sides of your folders, holding your hips pulling you to him so you can reach his curly hair, already messy and sweaty.

He fucks you with his tongue, grunting while smearing himself from you, you feel your pussy pinching with his beard constantly scrubbing against your skin. he alternates between licking, and sucking on your clit leaving on the edge.

"Cum to me babe, you're so delicious... I missed you"

You feel your pussy contract, squeezing, your stomach on fire, a hot numbness taking over your body. Pedro moans against your pussy while sucking on it, begging you to cum for him.

"Cum in my mouth cum in my whole face, babe"

Pedro spits onto your pussy, a long line of saliva while his eyes do not detach from yours. He fucks you with his tongue, his pretty aquiline nose poking your sensitive clit.

"Pedro! Sn't it!" You shout his name, cumming on his tongue, his hands squeezing you, snakeing your body, leaving scratches.

"Every day more delicious" Pedro crawls on top of you, finding your lips he kisses you, you feel his hard cock again against your thigh.

Pedro moves away kneeling on the edge of the bed, you don't even have time to assimilate before you feel him pull you by the ankles, causing your legs to curl around his waist.

Pedro holds his cock hard cock with his right hand and rubs the tip against your swollen clit, you moan when he slide the tip in your pussy.

"So fucking tight..ah”

He takes off and stimulate you again, and so he does one, two, three times teasing you.

"Please papi, fuck me…"

Pedro growls looking at you, he holds his cock by the base and push into you. You two moaning together, that little pain mixed with pleasure taking over your body, Pedro seems like a sex God, a fallen angel looking at your pussy while

fucking you deep, his lips half-open, the side vein of his neck pulsating, drops of sweat accumulating on his forehead...

Pedro grabs your waist, sitting on the bed and rolling you on top of him. He holds your ass making you rub on it, the feeling of his cock so deep in your pussy.

You lean on him, sinking your mouth into his sweaty neck while he already without forces slaps you in the cheeks holding firmly making you move up and down. with a low grun he lifts you slightly and fucks you even harder. the sound of skin to skin and his moans mix while he pumps you in order to reach his climax but you give in first leaving his cock wetter and slippery, making it escape more than once from inside you but he quickly guides his hard cock again inside until he grabs you tight on your waist and cums hot inside you saying cursed things. You quickly shut him up kissing him roughly.

The kiss turns sloppy, and decreases as your lungs fight for air.

Pedro kisses your jaw, his tongue passing through your neck, leaving a bite on your right shoulder. He lies on the bed, still with his dick inside you, he smiles as if he were high. You watch him, his eyes closed, the satisfied smile on his lips, the curls of his hair now completely wet with sweat.

You bend over and kiss his collarbone, raising your tongue to his neck, feeling the salty of his skin. Unique.

"Are you trying a third round?" He says opening only one eye and looking at you. You laugh coming out of him, immediately missing the feeling of his cock inside you.

"Come, take a shower with me"

The bath is relaxing, the warm water falling on you, Pedro kisses you while you pass the soap through his body, it is sensual and calm.

You tell him to turn around, passing the soap behind his back, leaving a kiss on the back of his newly operated shoulder, he laughs and turns to you, kissing your lips calmly, taking advantage of every inch of your mouth. It's so relaxing that you feel your muscles give way every time he hugs you next to his body.

While you talk and get dry, Pedro tells you about how he doesn't remember anything of the speech, that he was so nervous and happy that he just said what came to his mind, and blames himself for not having thanked more people.

"You made a beautiful speech, Pedro, I’m serious"

He smiles and holds your hand.

"Can I ask for something? Can you wear my shirt? From the minute Julie gave it to me, I imagined how beautiful you would look wearing it. Hah”

You smile at his request, nodding your head giving a quick kiss on his lips, you send him to bed and run to the living room. You just see chaos, clothes thrown on the floor, ashtray, glass of drink and TV on. You find the shirt on the couch, you put it on not wearing anything underneath, leaving the same amount of buttons open that he left during that night.

The moment you head to the room, he brought the trophy to the bedside table and catches your attention, you take it, looking at his name engraved, smiling, happy for him.

"Papi I’m a winner!" You mimic him when he told you in the early evening, raising the heavy trophy.

You walk slowly to the side of the bed, leaving the trophy on the bedside table. Pedro climbs his right hand down the back of your thigh, gently squeezing your ass, looking at you while his left hand plays with one of the buttons on the shirt.

"Jesus, you look so sexy! Much better than I imagined. Come here" Pedro whispers looking at you.

You know exactly what that look means. The night will really have no end.

———————————

Thanks for being here and read our delusional fics, likes are appreciate, comments even more. If you want to ask anything, blast it!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sun 11 April ‘21

Liam is back and in excellent form! I have missed chatty Liam, he is such a chill pleasure to virtually hang out with. He went live to answer questions about his performance and joke around. He trolled fans in his response to a question about collabs- “I’d love to do one with hmm... Niall... and Zayn... and Harry and Louis,” he teased, and joked that “they’re here! Behind this curtain! Haha no… we could have put them in virtually! Probably would have gotten cease and desist letters from their managers…” and considered who would send the first letter. “Zayn,” he giggled, but then added that in fact his next upcoming collab is “with myself, tonight!” (hmm sounds dirty when you put it like THAT Liam!) And about the performance? Liam agreed that it’s very confusing but said he’d make things easier on us by naming virtual Liam; he’s Kelvin. He said he (Liam not Kelvin) has “been away for a while, been having a bit of time” and then immediately added that in fact he’s been rehearsing and working on this performance a lot but that “it’s the only thing I’ve been doing.” He said IDK when is LP2 coming- “when I can get to LA and work” (because he doesn’t like writing on zoom), that he’s currently working on a song for a film but that he can’t tell us anything about it but that it’s with some old friends he’s known since he was 17, they were the first people 1D worked with, that he’d consider making a visual album, “maybe a cartoon or something… maybe even an NFT, who knows!” A man in touch with what the fans want, always (well except for the NFT thing), he fulfilled my wish and demonstrated making faces to program Kelvin, and he shared a picture of his mo-cap feet like SEE they look like TINY SNAKES right? And then asked people to trend tinysnakes and the fans dutifully obliged. Look out you guys, it’s a tiny snake habitat!

And the performances? Well first there was the avatar-only one and I finally understand why he kept saying he’d be anywhere you wanted him in your house, sorry- I think other people got it all along and I just… didn’t… but anyway it’s like a pokemon go thing were tiny Liam Kelvin is just perched on your dirty laundry or table or whatever you point your phone at. ANYWAY, virtual Liam is awkward and weird and not a very good lipsyncer, but real Liam sounds amazing and looks terrific and the contrast only draws more attention to how well Liam holds the space on stage and how good he looked, in particular when they put the avatar and Liam together for the main event. He/ they sang Midnight, and it sounded great and was a big hit besides, the papers loved him as the show opener and were into the gimmick.

Louis’ new friend Sergio Aguero talked about DMing with him on his recent twitch stream (Sergio’s). Being Argentinian he ofc just starts talking to him about mate (the Argentinian tea, not bros, pronounced like mah-tay) which I have to say is dead on brand for every Argentinian I have ever met; you think Louis is serious about his Yorkshire but he’s probably met his beverage obsessed match here! Anyway so Sergio is like do you like mate, and “check out my tea stuff” (and sends him a picture of the traditional gourd and straw drinking apparatus) and Louis is like “idk what that is mate” which is hilarious because what it is… is mate… which is spelled the same… which Sergio tries to explain to his viewers but anyway yeah that’s the tea! Lol. He said that Louis has reached out a while back (but he didn’t know who Louis was until he was like “I was in One Direction”) and invited Sergio to a footie match in Portugal (to play with Louis’ famous people league team we’ve heard about before I bet) but he couldn’t go and they just started chatting now, after Louis messaged again; Louis was in Mexico but they’re gonna hang out when he’s back in the UK, and Sergio will give him some mate! LMAO OF COURSE he will. Louis will absolutely hate it but I would LOVE to see him try to be nice about some unfamiliar bitter herb water served in a gourd that sounds like PURE GOLD tbh.

Anne Marie talked about the Niall teaser pic for their collab. She said she’d wanted to work with him because “I just love his voice and he’s Irish, you know, he’s hot”, lol, and that “ he was just playing guitar, playing piano, and I was like wow you’re actually talented cause you never know who’s actually talented these days” and “we wrote like three songs and they were all brilliant.” Will we ever hear the other two songs?? I mean I’m fine to start with just the one, anytime now, but something to consider...

Falling won an ADG Award, the members of the Art Director’s Guild apparently feeling that Harry’s leaky piano was better than the competition, Taylor Swift’s leaky piano, and the tabloids picked up on twitter chatter about Harry going blond for My Policeman (because the character in the book is blond some people think he will bleach his hair) and then everyone talked about it more because the tabloids said so IT MUST BE TRUE. UM, are you even hearing yourselves? They don’t know shit people this is a feedback loop here.

[meet-me-in-the-kitchen]

Want all your exile theories Pleassseee

Legend: Harry’s lyrical perspective in Exile, Taylor’s perspective, Harry’s own lyrics

Here’s an evaluation of everything I’ve gathered so far:

It’s a song touching on the incident that took place at the 2015 BBMAs. This was Taylor’s first official/fancy public appearance with Calvin Harris, and she took him with her to the awards. Too much too soon, right? Because she wanted a rebound and for Harry to see her moving on.

Before the awards, Harry and Taylor we’re still attending parties together, like Caleb Followill’s, and staying in contact.

I think I’ve seen this film before

After seeing Taylor at a party a month before, Harry had tweeted the word ‘Serendipity’ which is the title of a film based on a British woman and American man breakin up but then being brought back together by fate. He was hopeful.

Then, Taylor met Calvin. It’s February at this point. Paparazzi pics are out. Harry, on Taylor’s 24th birthday, had tweeted ‘better still be my winding wheel’ a lyric from a song about soulmates. On the exact day the pictures of Taylor & Calvin came out, he tweeted and instagrammed a picture of a wheel, captioning it: “my winding wheel.” (Dejected, right?)

In any case. She’s his soulmate. This can’t be a serious thing.

Taylor stops contacting Harry after meeting Calvin. Ignores his calls and texts. Posts pictures of herself with Calvin on Instagram, like this one:

Taylor shows up with Calvin to the Billboard awards. Very soon, but she wants him to see. The entire evening is spent with them being overly showy, lots of PDA, etc. Quite unlike Taylor. She wins several awards for 1989, and hugs Calvin each time. She’s seen laughing very exaggeratedly.

I can see you standing, honey with his arms around your body vs. I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in while he’s touching your skin

Laughing, but the joke’s not funny at all

Then, comes the blow. Just as One Direction are announced to have won an award and Harry comes up on the stage to retrieve it.

I can see it written all over his face, comfortable silence is so overrated. Why won’t you ever say what you want to say? Even my phone, misses your call, by the way

Taylor looks straight at him and whispers something into Calvin’s ear. At this point, you are internally groaning. Why did she do it? No one knows, it was a terrible thing to do. Imagine someone you were so close to doing that to you. Pain.

I can see you staring, honey

Like he’s just your understudy

Like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me

Those eyes add insult to injury

Harry’s eyes keep flickering back to where they’re sitting. He’s hurt, although he’s trying to concentrate on the award he seems distract and he keeps looking in Taylor’s direction, like, “what are you doing?”

Anyway. Harry’s jealous. He writes a song about this whole experience called Woman.

Now. Taylor writes Exile about both of their perspectives of this incident. Harry’s jealous and confused, because this isn’t Taylor. Taylor’s not sure what she’s doing entirely, but she feels this is necessary because Harry has not noticed or acted on any of the signs she’s dropped that she misses him (songs, meaningful glances she sings about, etc.) but I argue that Taylor hasn’t been reading his mind correctly, either. Just a month before he’d tweeted many hints. There’s a lot of miscommunication and pain, because even if things are obvious to you, they may not always be obvious to the other person, no matter how in tune you are: Communication is important.

We always walked a very thin line vs. We’ll be a fine line

You never gave me a warning sign vs. It’s a sign of the times

I gave you so many signs, so many times

There is no amount of crying I can do for you vs. Just stop your crying it’s a sign of the times

I think that the song Sign of the Times is also about their miscommunication and their transition to a new life without each other’s tangible presence. It’s referenced in Exile, as well. (“I gave you so many signs, you couldnt even read my mind, couldn’t turn things around”) Harry sees this as the one big sign that him and Taylor were in the rocks, but Taylor has repeatedly given him so many signs, and so has he. There is no amount of crying that will fix this, a lyric shared between Exile and SOTT. They’re always back in the same pattern, and so always walk a fine line between being okay and facing the next roadblock (“we always walked a very thin line” is also an Exile reference to Fine Line, which I explained was about Haylor in this post)

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it vs. I can’t unpack the baggage you left

Holdin’ all this love out here in the hall vs. You left me in the hallway

But I’ve also noticed something else. Like I said in this post, there are a lot of similarities to Harry’s songs in Exile. Not only Woman, but in particular Meet Me in the Hallway. They both talk about their relationship essentially ending in a hallway. What hall was this? Did Harry confront her at the music awards? Did Taylor ignore him? Or is it something metaphorical?

All in all, I think that Taylor and Harry were both confused. Taylor was trying to get a rise out of Harry to see if he was still in this, (“I’m not your homeland anymore, so who am I offending?”) but Harry was just hurt and his signs were just as misunderstood as Taylor’s.

UPDATE: Exile also references British land in the lyric “you were my crown, now I’m in exile” ; There is also a lyrical parallel between Only Angel (“broke my fingers knocking on your bedroom door, I got splinters on my knuckles crawling ‘cross the floor”) and this song.

UPDATE: In Exile, Taylor uses prominent sound effects of birds chirping and ambulance sirens calling. This is significant, because one of the major sightings of Harry & Taylor at the Lake District involved them catching/watching birds. And, most importantly, the sirens represent the snow mobile accident they both got into.

UPDATE: Taylor refers to the song as one being about two people with communication issues who see each other out with someone else for the first time; two ships passing in the night. Checks out.

This is what I have so far, will update as I find something new.

Songs referenced: Exile, Woman, Meet Me in the Hallway, Falling, From the Dining Table, Sign of the Times, Only Angel, Fine Line

For more, visit my Haylor Theories Masterpost

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

Via DEADLINE:

Annie ‘St. Vincent’ Clark & Carrie Brownstein Sundance Feature ‘The Nowhere Inn’ Picked Up By IFC

Anthony D'Alessandro

March 1, 2021 2:19PM PST

EXCLUSIVE: Deadline has learned that IFC Films has just taken North American rights to The Nowhere Inn from Topic Studios. The pic, a fractured commentary on reality, identity, and authenticity, is produced, written by, and stars Carrie Brownstein and Grammy winner Annie ‘St. Vincent’ Clark. Nowhere Inn also reps the feature directorial debut of frequent Portlandia collaborator and scribe Bill Benz.

The movie, which made its world premiere at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival, marks the first feature length film in which Clark has simultaneously produced, starred and composed all the original music. A fall 2021 release is currently planned.

The Nowhere Inn is a metafictional account of two creative forces banding together to make a documentary about St. Vincent’s music, touring life, and public persona. But they quickly discover unpredictable forces lurking within subject and filmmaker that threaten to derail the friendship, the project, and the duo’s creative lives. Nine-time Emmy nominee Brownstein is real-life friends with St. Vincent, and the feature is the story of two close friends’ attempt to wrestle the truth out of a complex subject before the hall of mirrors that is their artistic lives devours them completely.

The deal for the film was negotiated by IFC Films’ EVP of Acquisitions and Productions Arianna Bocco with Deborah McIntosh at Endeavor Content and Paradigm on behalf of the filmmakers.

Bocco tells Deadline, “Carrie Brownstein and Annie Clark brilliantly push the boundaries of how we communicate through film, music and comedy as only true artists can. We’re thrilled to take viewers to The Nowhere Inn and bring this unique and hilarious film to audiences and fans nationwide.”

“We are extremely proud of what we’ve created with The Nowhere,” said Brownstein and Clark. “And we couldn’t imagine a better home and partner for it than IFC Films.”

Added Ryan Heller, SVP, Film & Acquisitions for Topic Studios, “It has been our true joy to collaborate with Annie, Carrie and Bill on this audacious labor or love and friendship. And we’re thrilled to be in such great hands with Arianna and the team at IFC Films who have made a virtue of delivering bold, genre-defying stories to audiences.”

Topic Studios financed the film and produced with Ways and Means and Crazy Galore. The film was produced by Jett Steiger, Lana Kim, Annie Clark and Carrie Brownstein. Executive producers for Topic Studios are Michael Bloom, Ryan Heller and Maria Zuckerman. Adam Pincus and Bobcat Goldthwait also serve as EPs. Co-producers are Josh Bachove and Danny Harris. Topic Studios also recently produced and co-financed The Mauritanian which received awards season love last night at the Golden Globes with a supporting actress feature win for Jodie Foster.

Brownstein is the co-creator of sketch comedy series Portlandia which ran for eight seasons on IFC and won four Emmys. Her feature credits as an actress include Carol, The Oath, and Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot as well as the TV series Transparent, Idiotsitter and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

St. Vincent’s self titled fourth solo won her a Grammy for Best Alternative Album, her first Grammy Award. She was the first solo female performer in 20 years to win a Grammy in that category. St. Vincent teased her new album last week with a series of vintage poster advertisements. The upcoming LP, titled Daddy’s Home, is dated to be release May 14 on Loma Vista.

Below is our interview from our Sundance studio with Nowhere Inn:

The Nowhere Inn | Deadline Studio At Sundance 2020

[nanasarea]

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...) 

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan /  Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you 

and study his own school work 

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner 

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school, 

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could, 

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting 

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut, 

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like 

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage 

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable 

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream 

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells 

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings 

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice, 

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage, 

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this 

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

 that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm 

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek 

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out 

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny 

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them 

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on 

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback 

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it 

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair 

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.” 

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time 

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying, 

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age 

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener 

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider 

he goes all manly mode 

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it, 

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives 

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement 

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for 

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie​

[district2001]

Jangmi’s relationship with 96 ′Line (SVT)

Jangmi’s not sure if they baby her or she babies them

Jangmi’s Masterlist

^^ She doesn’t get why they’re tryna look badass when they are literally cats

Relationship with the Members

Jun

Jangmi may have the spice tolerance of ‘mild’ at Nandos, but she doesn’t mind accompanying Jun when he specifically goes to restaurants that serve spicy food

She just orders a drink or something very very mild and just chats with him

She especially loves it when Jun treats her to dessert after 

Especially when its Bingsu or a McFlurry

Prank Buddies

They love being little shits to the rest of the members, whether it be taking videos of them sleeping or putting toothpaste in Oreo’s.

The only downside is that Jangmi can’t lie at all, and most of the time she isn’t around when the prank is in action, since she gives the whole thing away

Really wants to go to Jun’s hometown and has tried numerous times to convince the Going Seventeen PD to explore his 1+1 concept

She was highkey salty when they won 2 grand awards there last year, but Pledis stuffed up their scheduling

He loves taking her phone and spamming it with selfies ^like the one above^

She doesn’t get how he looks drop dead gorgeous in every pic tho (underrated visual)

Hoshi

Makes fun of her for not knowing how to eat with chopsticks properly

1000% not behind his Tiger agenda (like all the members

See’s no relevance or need for him to refer himself as an animal

Will never miss the opportunity to roast him

Looks up to Soonyoung so much in terms of dance as well as his outlook on life

He barely gets angry at her whenever she’s lacking, and calmly goes over the moves again

When preparing for debut, since she had less time to learn the choreography, they usually spent most nights making sure she was comfortable with the moves.

Since they spent so much together during that time, she felt closest towards him in earlier eras when she was finding her place in the group

She’s amazed how he speaks his mind, and has no filter

Both of them have a competition to see who can be more active on weverse

Jangmi’s has posted every single day since they joined the platform

The punishment everytime someone goes 3 days without posting is buying the other any food of their choice

They often hang out together when exploring cities on tour

Jangmi loves being in his company since he can hold the conversation by himself when she’s taking in the sights

Hoshi loves it because she speaks English, meaning he doesn’t have to attempt speaking in English

Wonwoo

Poor eyesight buddies

Hate wearing contacts

First thing they do after a performance is put their glasses on

Love Cats

Whenever they hang out they go to cat cafes

Probably the member she was most weary at first, because she hadn’t really interacted with him before.

Lowkey thought he hated her joining the group since he  barely spoke to her, but she later learned on that’s just his personality.

She sometimes fell asleep in his bed in their old dorms, whenever she couldn’t be bothered going to her own room after rehearsals

Wonwoo would just sleep with her, and hug her extra tightly so she wouldn’t accidentally fall off

Even though now he’s in an actual room, she sometimes still sleeps on his bed

She doesn’t even make the excuse of being tired to walk to her room anymore

She’d also sleep with him when she couldn’t sleep at night, and walked over to the kitchen to get some water

And then just push him over and sleep on his mattress

She loves his curly hair, and is constantly asking their stylists to perm it again

She’s one of the members who encourage him to talk in interviews more, and is often directing the questions to him

Woozi

Constantly roasting each other

Think of the Seunkwan x Dino dynamic

Bicker about everything humanly possible

One of the room mate combo’s that aren’t allowed anymore since they’ve received too many complaints

The only member Jihoon is soft with.

He tries to keep up his serious persona whenever they film, but it breaks instantly when she does something adorable.

She loves keeping him company whenever he’s producing in his studio

She doesn’t even knock, but just struts inside and sleeps on the couch

Jihoon often pulls an all-nighter those times, not wanting to wake her up.

He always has a spare doona lying around, just so she doesn’t get cold

She spends most public holidays with his family

Even if she tells them that holidays are for family

Then they play the ‘you are family card.’

Once she refused to spend a holiday with them, since she felt like Jihoon needed time away from the members, but they ended up kidnapping her.

They treat her like their daughter

Always criticizes her during recordings as he knows she has so much potential, and her fear is holding her back

This causes them to ALWAYS fight during their recordings, and then be bitter for a few days [Seventeen Right Here]

She cried when recording ‘Getting Closer’

He showed no remorse

Scoups had to come in and tell her to have a break

But they obviously come around and make up.

And her raps on the tracks are always fire.

Obviously since he’s a producing genius

Was very vocal about not wanting Jangmi not growing taller than him

Was terrified when she had her growth spurt when they debuted

Luckily she stopped growing after that year

Introducing Jangmi:

Get to know Jangmi

Jangmi with: 95′ Line,  97′ Line & Maknae Line

[lesbiansforglados]

i think the weirdest flash interest/fixation i have right now is on card jitsu from club penguin and specifically card jitsu. like ??!?! i just want it back

also read below if you wanna hear my rambles on card jitsu

so card jitsu is a gamemode in old club penguin made up of 4 games i desperately want pirated or something.

the first gamemode, card jitsu classic, is the basics. the building blocks. you play karate with cards and an elements system that is somehow even more basic than the avatar one.

the goal of the game is to outsmart and beat each player with each element (OR beat them three times with the same element), having a greater number value and element than your opponent.

you climb up in belts (i think it goes white, yellow, orange, green, blue, purple, brown and black) and in the end with a black belt you try and defeat sensei which is this pretty difficult ai from what i remember. and once you beat him, you get a ninja mask and become a ninja!

i had the card jitsu handbook (2011) way before i played the game so i’m aware before card jitsu snow there was a secret room only ninjas could go in next to the dojo. it was removed i believe when card jitsu snow launched but i don’t know because when i joined the card jitsu saga was already completed, so.

card jitsu fire had to take some memory jogging, but here it is. basically the object of the game is to keep your energy points and drain the other player’s. you first chose a tile which gave a random battle of any element, and you had to choose one element to battle, preferably the one you had the strongest card in. then the other player had to battle you with another card and whoever won got to keep their energy

every won battle contributed to earning a fire suit, which was a suit that when put together did a cool animation. you had to battle sensei again to be a full fire ninja though, and he was difficult.

card jitsu water was probably the most annoying of the three games imo. basically it was a tile based game with a time limit (if you ran out you would lose) where you would pick a card, play an element on one of the tiles around you and move forward. you could play an element to move forward in your game, like a fire card to destroy a bunch of snow, or you could play to inconvenience the other players.

worked the same as fire. every battle won got you closer to completing the water suit, and to become a water ninja you had to battle sensei.

i couldn’t find a pic of someone in game using it so bear with me lole

finally, card jitsu snow. HOLY SHIT I MISS THIS GAME

card jitsu snow was a lot different from any of the other games, like way different. first it was built in another engine so it ran like ass and it’s matchmaking system was utter dog shit, but once you got over that then its the best game in club penguin.

in snow, you played with three other people and you picked an element to play with. these varied in range, damage and other abilities (snow had healing powers).

the object of the game was to make it all three rounds in the snow mountains, defeating snowmen monsters (i think they’re called tusk’s henchmen but i can’t be sure) without dying. and it was easy to die, so most games never made it past round 1. but a cool thing about this one is that you earned exp to get a snow suit even if you lost, and you got more exp the farther into the game you got.

as you got farther along in your exp journey you unlocked mini cutscenes that explained the relationship between sensei and this guy named tusk, going from childhood friends to arch enemies. that was a cool thing they didn’t have to do but it makes it all the better.

the cool thing about snow is that your journey wasn’t over once you got your suit and the snow gem. after you got the gem you could defeat tusk (which was a fucking HARD ai) and once you got over that, there were more awards to collect. and not to brag but also to brag, i got all of them before the game shut down B)

and also, here’s what the snow suit looks like in action.

thanks saraapril i hope ur doing ok

and thats it, thats my ramble on all you need to know about card jistu. anyways i’m gonna go hibernate now

[vlovers19]

Vmin bond = underrated. Never seen any confusion or doubt when it comes to others popular ship. but when we talk about Vmin there goes the "false friendship" allegations. you're right can't blame them, on camera they don't seems closer like that. sometimes you just see Jimin being the only one who always interact with him while Tae interact more with the others. So people fall into what they see and use it to descredits their relationship. Well can't lie sometime i'm a little bit confused too.

Hello, If you notice, I have been taking my time in responding to asks lately. I've been trying to sort out my private matters. After doing so, I think I'm presently in the right frame of mind to deal with asks.

So, to begin with, let's examine their behaviors. Vmin's behavior has always been something of a confusion especially in recent years. If we take a look at them now comparing their relationship to how it was in the past, you will no doubt notice a big difference that leaves you asking yourself; Does Taehyung hate Jimin?

It is very true that their relationship is underrated and quite puzzling which makes it all the more suspicious. They say one thing and yet, do another completely different thing.

Now the big question here is why does Taehyung treat Jimin differently from the other members especially when they are in public? That is, with coldness. He seems quite affectionate with the others while with Jimin, he gets distant especially when the other is initiating affection. He's affectionate and does a lot of of PDA. Yet, why does he hesitate when it comes to Jimin?

There could be various reasons for this and I will explain my own version of it. Let me remind you that this is merely a speculation of mine and might not necessarily be true.

Now to me, there isn't really a platonic explanation to why Taehyung seems distant with Jimin. They obviously consider themselves best friends but why isn't that friendship of theirs displayed with each other. Why does it seem like Taehyung likes to distance himself from Jimin. From what I know, this distance began from 2016 when they both stopped doing vlive together and generally started to be apart from each other. (Probably when they started seeing each other seriously). It became more pronounced after the group started filming their documentary in 2018, it all just started to seem worse.

When looking at the lyrics of their song friends, you'll get to discover that not everything seemed rosy between the two of them. They have had both had ups and downs throughout their years of knowing each other but they eventually learned to overcome it and appreciate each other (and are still learning) but despite all these, what is the reason for Taehyung seeming cold to Jimin?

Jimin and Taehyung have always been the most physically affectionate out of everyone in the group. They just love expressing their affections to people however there are some cases when public display of affection isn't something that can be done so easily.

What is PDA to celebrities? It's simply fan service. It's just like acting for the cameras. However, i feel that when you take someone very seriously, fan service begins to seem a bit off. Acting seems quite difficult. Now, Jimin and Taehyung have very different personalities. It isn't difficult for Jimin to display PDA because that's naturally the kind of person he is. Affectionate and loving.

But for Taehyung, it could be quite difficult to do so. To act towards a person he takes very seriously. It could also be one of the possible reasons why they avoid vlive. Because they have to act. Some of the lives seem scripted and monitored especially since the group got popular. Let's say since 2016. If Vmin where is some kind of complicated relationship, then it wouldn't be good if they accidentally slip up and say things they aren't supposed to say.

If we compare his relationship with others to his relationship with Jimin, his behavior seems a bit petty and absurd. He often initiates affection with the other members. With Yoongi, it's like he's forcing him. It's often hilarious but Jimin mostly always has to initiate with him. However, it's not an issue for him since he's naturally like that.

However, when Taehyung decides to intitiate affection, it isn't because he has to act but because he genuinely wants to.

There are some examples.

1. When Jimin was sick during one of their performances and had to perform his parts sitting on a chair.

2. When Jimin was also sick during one of their tours. Taehyung even held his hands and they went down the slide together.

3. When Jimin was heavily emotional at Wembley stadium during the speak yourself tour.

4. When they won an award at GDA. Taehyung actually made Jimin wrap his hands around his waist while they where going to receive their award.

Let's also not forget the spontaneous bouts of affection from Taehyung that sometimes leaves Jimin unprepared.

1. Rm's vlive. Jimin was shocked and unprepared with Taehyung's display of affection that he rudely told him his mouth stinks to push him away.

2. When they danced crazily as if they where in the club on live TV (nothing could be edited). That crazy club dancing happened the day before Taehyung's birthday. (Taehyung actually initiated this crazy moment)

3. When Taehyung gave Jimin a glass figurine (can't really describe it) with a couple kissing inside that left Jimin quite unprepared. He eventually hid it away but we all still saw. (Can't find a video of this moment)

4. When Taehyung ran on stage into a shocked Jimin's arms minutes after Jimin had suddenly given him a kiss on top of his head.

5. Bon voyage season four. When Taehyung called out to an oblivious Jimin in the snow and they suddenly enacted a play and started to tumble in the snow together.

6. Or this gay panic moment when Taehyung initiated affection and the first thing shocked Jimin thought of was to push him away.

But on the rare occasion when Taehyung decides to return Jimin's affections on stage, things get quite intense. I wanted to post more pics and gifs but for now, I'm limited.

(There are many other underrated moments which people have chosen to ignore but these ones stand out to me)

Now, if Taehyung really disliked Jimin, why would he want to sing a song friends with him? Why would he describe Jimin as an angel whom he couldn't believe he had fought with when they argued over dumplings. Why would he insist on singing a rejected Christmas song he had personally written with Jimin? Why would he refer to Jimin as his soulmate? Why would he say 95 liners is love.

The response varies. To antis, their relationship is fake. They are simply pretending. To solos, they aren't seeing what the fuss is all about when they act one way and totally behave another. They are mostly interested in promoting their favorite member. To other shippers, they don't like each other because they are fighting for love. So many reasons but it all still boils down to one thing Fan service.

For someone who doesn't like Jimin, why would he even bother acting like this? To me, he just takes Jimin pretty seriously and finds it hard to act in public probably risking exposing himself. As you can see from the above, Taehyung can be quite impulsive putting both himself and Jimin in awkward situations that requires one of them to act smart immediately to save the situation.

Anyway, Jimin isn't stupid. He wouldn't be forcing himself on to someone who according to some people doesn't like him. He wouldn't try producing a song and singing it with that same someone who doesn't like him, not even for the sake of fan service especially since people aren't that crazy over their ship. For fanservice to actually be fan service, both people have to acknowledge it. They have to be in it together to create a fantastic show for the audience. To get people excited and riled up to talk about them but apparently, vmin isn't like that because there is no fanservice involved. Jimin just wants to be around Taehyung because he likes to even though he seems outwardly cold. He probably knows he has to be like that because of his persona. He has to be careful.

Like I said, this is my own opinion. If people are still going on saying that vmin's relationship is fake, then that is their business. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. As far as I know, they are the ones who know their relationship best. We are only mere spectators. We can only speculate since we aren't living their lives for them. Anyway, Thanks for this ask and have a great day.

[madscientistjournal]

Fiction: The Titan Through the Dust

An essay by Claire Gainsborough, as provided by Joachim Heijndermans Art by Leigh Legler

You’ve seen it. Everyone’s seen it. Kids know of it from their school books. It’s been on TV, in movies, and in every history book published in the years after the incident of Singapore City. Hell, even if you’ve never seen the actual shot, you’ll know it from the ripoffs and the parodies and the references by college kids trying to be artsy in their projects. Cultural osmosis, I think they call it. It’s a hell of a thing, to have your work be absorbed by the current zeitgeist and spat back out, like a cheesy meme passed around on Twitter, to the point that everyone around the world will instantly recognize your photo on sight, even if they have never heard your name.

And I gotta say, with the passage of time, I don’t know how I even feel about the shot anymore. For one thing, it’s been nearly twenty years since I aimed that camera, pressed my index finger down, and made a piece of history in a split second of time. So yeah, that part’s cool. But you’ll be hard pressed to find anyone familiar with any of my other work. Last year I had a book collection of my travel photography published in conjunction with Nat Geo. Sales were so-so. Biggest complaint? That shot wasn’t in it. That’s all that people want anymore. Kagemura, on the most devastating day of my life.

Is this what Eisenstaed felt like when he shot that photo of the VJ day in New York? I doubt it, because even if that kiss was forced and all that, it still had some sense of beauty to it. A joy was captured in that scene. My shot? It’s beautiful in its own terrifying way. But I just see the carnage. Carnage in blood, rubble, and dust. Absolute carnage.

~

This morning I got an offer to do the photography at a wedding. It’s a famous couple. You know them, I guarantee it, but I signed an NDA before I even met with them, so I can’t say much about it other than that the money is blasphemously great. Had I accumulated any, I could have paid back my college loan debts three times over. It’s insane. And do you know what they called me when they rang me up? Claire? Of course not. I was “that Kagemura lady.” They wanted that style for their reception. As in, that exact style. Happiest day of their life, but shot in a sepia tone and with the sun partially blocked. I said yes, obviously, as the KSF needs the cash more than I do. My best guess is they just didn’t realize people actually died when I took it.

I’m tired of talking about the shot in public, to be honest. Because that’s all that people discuss when the topic of my work comes up. The technique. The type of lens I used. The other dumb crap. And it’s so … what’s the word I’m looking for? Dull. Yeah, that’s it. It’s dull. It’s technical jargon and people standing around printouts of it with glasses of champagne in hand, each of them trying to find something new and profound to say about the photo. In the end, it’s just words. Words about a picture I took in the spur of the moment as I was half-suffocated by ash and grime.

Nobody ever asks what it was like, being there when it all came down. I think that’s why they’re all drawn to the photo. It’s a way to get close, but not too close to the actual awfulness of it all. The Disneyland version of it, where they can see the horrible monster without having to think about what it can do and what it did.

I want to talk about that day. What it was like. This is what happened on that day when I shot The Titan Through the Dust. My opus, I suppose.

~

Do people take gap years anymore? Or is that just a rich people thing these days? I swear, every time I talk to a student who either has never heard of a gap year, or worse, mentions they couldn’t afford it because they have student loans to pay back, it just reminds me again and again how I was born with a silver spoon up my ass. I love my mom and my dads, who really did their best to pool everything two orthodontists and a lawyer could scrape together to get their ditzy daughter through college pain-free, but boy howdy did they shield me from the realities of the world. Might be why it hit me as hard as it did when the earth literally opened up that day.

Anyway, I’m off topic. Back to the event.

I’d just graduated with my BA in programming and game design. Yeah, that’s right. Claire Gainsborough, the one whose book your mom has on the coffee table and who shot that photo you owned the poster of, wanted to make a career for herself in video game production. The art critics either tactfully neglect to mention that whenever they praise my photo work, or somehow bring up the supposed influence that “Banjo-Kazooie” on the N64 had on my choice of angle and lighting. I don’t know if any of that is true, as I only played it for about a week and a half during a retro-game bender in college, but whatever. To wrap it up, I graduated the course and had my fill of screens and code and engines after four years, so I chose to take a year to travel. I wanted to see the world and snap some pictures along the way to fill up a scrapbook or a blog or something. I never expected to go down in the history books as the next Joe Rosenthal, which only happened after my photo began circulating around the net and Nadaria, my agent, hooked me in and began to tour my shot, helping me realize I had a knack for a good photo. Lucky me, falling into a career like that.

I’ve often thought about going back into video games, make a simple platformer or an RPG with cute cartoon animals who save the world. But I just can’t seem to muster the drive to sit down and do it. I mean, making video games? After what I witnessed and lived through? It seems so quaint … no, childish even. How do I imagine the fantastical anymore? How can I create the illusion of power, when I’ve seen what real, actual raw ball-busting power looks like in the flesh? Now that I know what it feels like as it walks past you, too large to notice something as insignificant as me? What the air around it tastes like as it marches onward? How can anything compare? Well, I guess only Team Ico got close, and maybe those “God of War” guys, but still–

Wait, wasn’t I talking about gap years? Sorry. I got way off topic.

~

So, my gap year. The idea was that I’d backpack through Asia. Had a whole route planned out. I’d start in Jakarta and see all the Indonesian islands one by one (which I did in three weeks’ time). Then it would be on to Singapore, then Malacca, Kuala Lumpur, Krabi in Thailand, and so on up the peninsula and into the continent. My final stop would be in Wakkanai, the most northern spot on Hokkaido, Japan. It was going to be the experience of a lifetime. Just traveling, seeing the sights, taking selfies, and going out at night with whomever I met along the way. Food. Sun. Shots out of someone’s belly button. And maybe there’d be things that would go horribly wrong, and I would have had to wash dishes for a week to get my ticket out of there. Something I would vlog about and then do a book and the whole shebang. Then, twenty years down the line, they’d make a movie about it with someone who doesn’t look a thing like me, but is willing to look less pretty on screen for when the awards season rolls around. That’s where I was with my mind at the time. Just laughs, experiences and the idea of fame coming from my Asian trek.

I didn’t get that far, barely a quarter way of the journey. As you might guess, my third day in Singapore was the March the 23rd. The first Kagemura Ascendance. Day Zero.

What I did those first two days in Singapore is a haze for me now. I doubt anyone really remembers what they did on half their vacations down the line. But I’ll tell you this: everyone who was there can recall that day with near 100% accuracy. I guarantee it. What they had for lunch. Who they talked to. What clothes they put on that morning. All of it. Trust me on this one.

As for me? I was in the midst of an iced coffee and a croissant with an omelet and chives, which I’d told myself would be the only familiar food I’d eat that day (part of the whole “experience the local cuisine” thing I was going for). It was 10:32 AM on the dot, and breakfast was coming to a close in the dining area. I had my nose in my tablet … like, nose in the book, but I guess it doesn’t go in a tablet. Is there a phrase for that? Dang. I’m rambling. Sorry. I always ramble when that day comes up. It’s … it’s difficult to talk about this. But anyway, I was planning out my day, when my glass trembled. And when I say trembled, I mean it was flung right off my table.

That’s when it started.

~

It’s funny, but the camera I used that day? A hand me down. The most famous modern photographer, and I didn’t even go out and get my own equipment. It was one of my dad’s, my biological one, who had bought it for a summer trip he and my step-mom were going to take down to Tijuana. Then he won an even better one at a sweepstakes thing with the Shoprite around the block, so he gave me the Canon for my trip.

It’s never taken more than thirty photos, and twenty-eight of them are pics from the plane, the hotel, and the pool that was on the roof. The other two are from after the attack. The camera itself now sits on my mantle, still dirty and containing its original memory card. A conversation piece, really. I use better stuff for work.

I don’t know why I keep it. I’ve had to fish it out of the trash over six times, thrown out during my darker mood episodes that are common to people with survivor’s guilt (according to my therapist). Two other times, Carla, the lady who comes in every Tuesday to clean, pulled it out. She just put it back and never said a word about it. She looks out for me. Bless her heart. I should really be nicer to her. Like, to her face, instead of anonymously paying her daughter’s college tuition as I have been.

But yeah, the camera. It sometimes drives me batty. It sits there, reminding me of what I’d done. What I could have done. There are still days I desperately want to get rid of it. But then I would blind the last eye that saw them.

~

It was so sudden. There wasn’t any build up to it at all. A calm, serene morning the one moment, and then the earth broke open like a fresh baguette ripped in two. A horrible noise blasted past us, a sound wave of broken steel and ten billion nails against ten billion chalkboards, that threw us from our feet. Before anyone could react, the glass in all the windows shattered, broken by the pitch of the sound. That was the first roar, but I didn’t find that out until later.

I wasn’t hurt, but I could hear the people in the streets scream as the shards came down on them. While everyone else in the dining area ran for the nearest exit and the stairs, I leaped under my table, which might have been what saved me from what came after. Not a conscious choice. Just a habit I picked up from my time dealing with the L.A. quakes.

Now, for a while, I didn’t have a clue what was going on outside. There weren’t any tremors after the initial quake, but from the sounds, I knew it had to be bad. I just stayed where I was, in case someone came to get me. No one did. In fact, the first sign that things were weird was the sudden collective silence. There were some loud astonished gasps and some incoherent yelling, but it didn’t sound like anyone was in a panic.

Then came the second roar. And with that, hell was unleashed on the city.

There are reports of what happened in the initial strike as it emerged. I’ve read them all, but they don’t mean anything to me. Just a list of factoids and hypotheses about its tunneling ability and how long it laid dormant underneath Singapore, a sleeping giant upon which we just built a city. What I could gather from them was that, just by coming up from its resting place, it took out three of the adjacent buildings in an instant. After that, it stumbled about for a bit. While it wasn’t like it was immediately attacked, something must have set it off in a real bad way, because what it did next is what hit the building I was in.

But back to the massive tremor that knocked everything over. At the time, I thought it was an earthquake, which is why I leaped under the table. That theory went out the window the second a purple beam of pure heat ripped across the city skyline and shredded through buildings. The Summer Palms hotel I was in lost its top eight floors in one swoop. If anyone screamed, I didn’t hear it on account of my eardrums shattering (still have the tinnitus as a souvenir).

I think I may have hidden under that table for a good ten to fifteen minutes before I crawled out. Dust was already coming down like snow in December, but I could feel the rays of the sun hitting me. The roof was gone. Not broken. Not damaged. Gone. Rendered to dust.

As I look back now, I’m surprised as all hell that I didn’t panic. Somehow I kept myself level, waited for a couple of minutes after the heat blast took out the top floors, then just grabbed my backpack and ran for the exit, nearly tripping over people that just lay there in the path. Were they dead or unconscious? I haven’t the foggiest, as I was too busy trying not to get trampled by the others who made their way down. But I remember cursing myself for going out to breakfast in flip-flops that day, since they made my escape three times harder. I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs, bruising my knee and scraping my arms. It hurt, but I forgot about the pain when another beam blasted overhead. I saw its purple light ripping through a cloud of dust, but the sound from within was that of steel melting, foundation crumbling, and screams silenced in an instant. I didn’t think about it, or at least I tried not to. I just ran down the stairs with one thought on my mind: escape. Run like hell and try to make it out on the street. Maybe there would be somewhere I could hide. Find an ambulance or a cop I could hitch a ride with. Be anywhere but a demolished building that could topple down any moment.

Then the stairs collapsed right out from under me.

~

Hours had passed when I finally woke back up, though I didn’t find out about that until later. When I came to, there was nothing but darkness around me. Engulfed in panic, I shrieked and flailed my arms wildly in an attempt to break free, thinking I’d been trapped. Technically, I was, but it wasn’t rubble I was stuck under. Three men, two women, and a potted plant had tumbled on top of me and shielded me from the debris. There were other people, who all laid there as limp ragdolls, with not a single sign of life among them. I remember I started sobbing, even though no tears were coming out of my eyes. For a bit, I stumbled in the semi-darkness to try and find a way out by touch, which I did eventually. Bad news? It was blocked with rubble. No way out but either wait for help or dig. I seriously considered just waiting it out. Help would come soon, and I wasn’t in a bad place. Then the earth shook again. So I dug.

Like a frightened mole, I burrowed my way through the dirt with ferocious speed till my fingers bled. I credit my adrenaline for giving my 125 pound frame the strength I needed to get out of there, even as I hacked up my lungs in the process. It wasn’t until that first beam of light hit my face that my heart finally stopped trying to leap out from my chest.

Wasting no time for comfort, I dug out a hole large enough for me to fit through. I pushed my bag out and followed suit, writhing like a worm after a rainstorm. I stumbled and fell twice, scraping my knees again, but I’d done it. I’d made it outside on the street, although I still couldn’t breathe for shit, with the massive dust cloud seeping right into my nostrils and lungs. My eyes narrowed in an attempt to keep the dust out of them. None of it mattered. I was deaf, dumb, and blind, stumbling through a cloud of dirt. Every exhale was a cough. I could feel the blood in my lungs and tear ducts. I knew with absolute certainty I was going to die. But I still kept going.

It was then that I remembered the bottle of water in my backpack. I scrambled for it blindly, overjoyed to find it unbroken. With some sloppy haste, I pooled some of it into my hand and splashed it in my face. A reprieve. Water had never felt that good on my skin. And with that, I got my sight back.

Then I wished I hadn’t.

~

There’re these two paintings by Goya. They get brought up and compared a lot in the art books that have my photo in them. Pose and lighting and all that. I do see it. And yet (and I’m going to be completely honest here), I’d never seen them before I took that picture. But I see their point when the comparison is brought up again and again between The Colossus and my photo. Goya couldn’t have known what it would be like, to see a massive behemoth waltz across through mist and smoke. But he nearly got it. Out of all the paintings, he came the closest. Because he got the dust right.

The dust. That’s all I could see that day. The dust. After the first few buildings collapsed, the dust shot out over every inch of the city. It became a cloud. No, not a cloud. More of a ghost. A specter. A second monster, a mollusk of granite and ash and human remains that fell down on the city like a sheet of pain and tears. The bride of the beast, a herald to its approach and a silent mourner, standing vigil in the wake of its terrible walk. I remember the dust more than Kagemura itself. The creature was just a flash that passed by, shone its giant eyes down at the little people screaming for their lives below, then stomped off.

There’s a second Goya painting. Saturn devouring his Son. This giant titan, the most ghastly dude you can ever imagine, is ramming this little kid into his gaping maw, all on account of a prophecy that proclaimed his children would bring his downfall. He eats a child to preserve his own future.

Goddammit, Goya. Get the hell out of my head.

~

Dust. Nothing but a giant cloud of dust as far as the eye could see. I felt like I’d walked into a grey-brown fog, and the city that had been there a few hours earlier was now a “Silent Hill” level, but a lot hotter. With the towel from my backpack, I made a mask to cover my nose and face, while I blocked my eyes with my hands, peering through my fingers. For some reason, I also took out my camera, the Canon, and just held onto it. I’m not sure why. Maybe as my last testament? Was I that certain of my death?

Now, I had no idea what to do next. Where was I walking to? To safety. Where was that? I didn’t have a clue. There were faint sirens that came from every direction. Muffled screams beyond the dust clouds. And me in the middle of it all.

I picked a direction on pure instinct and just booked toward it. Me, missing one flip-flop and with half a bottle of water, a towel, and a camera, shuffled in the direction to what I’d assumed was away from the danger. My foot got cut up on the rocks and debris, but I managed by some miracle to avoid any glass shards. Here and there I’d see what I thought were bodies, but to keep myself from completely losing it, I tried to block them out.

Then I heard it again, even with my fuzzy hearing and blood-soaked ears. The sound that had announced its attack and shattered all the glass. The sound of hell. The roar. I turned around, trying to see where it was coming from, which seemed like from all directions at once. Destruction in surround sound. Each breath was a hurricane. The beat of its heart was an earthquake. While I couldn’t see it through all the dust and debris, I knew it was close. Hell, I didn’t even know what “it” was at the time. The sounds were just unexplained noises. I still thought it was some kind of a bomb at the time. That’s what I assumed the source of the heat was. I tried to rationalize it all. Terrorists. A war. Or an accident. Gas pipes. All these rational explanations for all that horror. Something to just make a little sense of it all.

And then I saw it. For real this time, as it stepped right over me. I couldn’t comprehend what I was looking at. But in that moment, like a reflex, I aimed the camera and pressed the button.

~

A few weeks ago, in an interview with Time for the tenth anniversary of the Singapore attack, I told them that I’d only seen Kagemura the one time, back when I snapped the picture. That’s actually not true, and I should apologize for my lie. I’d actually seen it twice. The second time was about seven years after Singapore, during the three-year hiatus when they couldn’t locate the creature anywhere, during my trip to Switzerland. Yeah, you’ve seen the story. You know where this is going.

I was in the midst of climbing to the top of a mountain whose name I can’t remember, because who cares what mountains are called anymore when actual titans now walked the earth? I climbed it because I hated skiing and I wanted to get away from the world and the aura of sorrow and fear it had wrapped itself in since the monster began to walk across the landscape. Stupid me.

I saw it in the early morning, lit up by the early sun’s rays as it breached the dew that descended from the Alps with its massive frame. It was actually more bizarre to see it there. A giant crab/dinosaur/eel that keeps going in and out of the Chinese sea wasn’t that out of place in that area, if you know what I mean. But in Switzerland, among the green hills glistening with dewdrops and the sturdy pine trees that formed a carpet of bark and needles, it was as if Heidi suddenly got a weird last chapter. It was more alien than ever out there. Especially since it didn’t do anything.

There was no fire that day. There were no screams. It wasn’t even loud. A complete one-eighty from that day in Singapore. It just lurched forward and slowly made its way past the hills and mountains, cloaked in the haze that was the mists of Switzerland. Wrapped in a cloak of morning dew and fog, rather than fire and dust, it looked beautiful this time around, as it rested itself against the mountainside. Had I brought my camera, I would have gotten my second Pulitzer. Yeah, I sound like a cocky bitch, but I’ve got the royalty checks and the big gold coin on my shelf next to my Pikachu change jug, so I’d like to think I have the cred to back that statement up.

Now, how do you react to something like that? I was on vacation in Switzerland for God’s sakes, with uncomfortable hiking boots and two walking sticks in hand. I expected it all to just be pine trees and purple cows from those chocolate wrappers. Nothing weird, and certainly not it. But there it was, among the Alps without a care in the world.

For years, I’d imagined how I would react if I ever ran into Kagemura again. I thought I’d scream insults. That’d I’d raise hell as jet fighters bombed the shit out of it. Or that I’d at least flip it off, should it happen to look my way. But no. I did nothing. I just watched it for a while as it stumbled slowly around, pushing clouds aside by merely exhaling. After about ten minutes or so, it moved out of sight into the fog. I could hear its steps, as the tremors became gentler and gentler. Just like that, it went away. Then I went back to the hotel, listened to the other guests freak out about the giant prints across the landscape, had my tea, got a book from the book-swap shelf, and called it a day. Stayed there until they evacuated us all.

I’ve never told anyone else that story. Lucky you.

~

It stopped for a moment, as a thunderous rumble emitted from its throat (think a lion growl, but a billion of them at once), then tilted its head back to let out a deafening roar. And me? I took aim, clicked, and took the photo that defined that day and the rest of my life.

Seeing it that first time, my mind went blank. The words “what” and “the fuck” and “is that?”. A giant lizard-like thing waltzed right over me. One wrong step, and I’d have been jelly on the pavement. But as soon as it passed me, I could barely make it out anymore through the dust. The only part I got a good look at was its long, almost chameleon-like tail, which ripped through the buildings like a whip as it twisted. All I could make out was its silhouette, partially illuminated by the purple glow from its eyes. I’m not going to lie: it was beautiful. For a moment, I completely forgot how terrible everything was. There was just me and it, a skinny girl in shorts with a camera, and a creature unlike any the world had ever seen. It stopped for a moment, as a thunderous rumble emitted from its throat (think a lion growl, but a billion of them at once), then tilted its head back to let out a deafening roar. And me? I took aim, clicked, and took the photo that defined that day and the rest of my life. Like I said before: a split-second that neither I nor anyone else will ever forget.

You know what question I get asked the most? Whether I took any other shots of Kagemura later. Do they seriously think I went and ran after it? Do I look like Jimmy Olsen? It was thirty stories high, and that was back before it was full grown! No way did I risk my life like that.

But there was a second picture I took on that “fateful” day (as they call it in the history books). It was right after Kagemura made its way through the main street, right through those four buildings. And it was the only one I took with the intent for people to see it. No one did. Or if they did, no one cared. Everyone was in such awe of the best picture taken in the history of humanity, they neglected the picture I took of humanity.

It was a girl. She must have been around fifteen or sixteen, though she looked decades older. Her skin had been turned a smeared dark grey, with soot and ash clinging to her body. Her mouth was agape, gasping for air as strands of spittle clung to her chin. Then, without warning, a deep, bone-chilling wail escaped her. I stood there, frozen and coated in the same grey goop that rained from the sky, unsure if I should approach her gently or just grab her and try to find shelter. It was then I noticed she held something in her arms. At first, I thought it was a doll. But what teenager carries around a doll, especially in a disaster zone.

When it clicked for me, I nearly puked on my feet. I stood there, dry heaving bile and what little I had in my stomach out on the street, while this young girl wept for the charred body in her arms. When I regained my composure, I … I just stood there. I watched the woman cry with wild abandon. I could have approached her. I could have helped her. Shared my water or taken her by the hand and tried to find help with her in tow. But what did I do?

I raised the camera and snapped a photo. The second I took that day. And no, I have no idea why I took it, instead of anything else I could have done. But it was something real. Something human in a sea of unknown horror. And I approached it like the tourist I was.

A part of me likes to think I was going to help her and the child in her arms. Or do anything. Anything! And maybe I would have, if Kagemura hadn’t turned around.

A squadron of jets dived toward it. Missiles flew. More fire. The creature roared, snarling at the little men in the little metal birds. Like flies, they nimbly dodged its claws as they unloaded volley after volley right into it, so for a moment, I thought they might actually hurt it. But another purple light dashed through the dust, ripping those jets to shreds. It was then I saw that those beams came from its mouth. Its mouth! Do you have any idea how insane that looked at the time?

I turned to the woman, holding the body. She must have been about my age. The girl in her arms couldn’t have been more than ten. She screamed as Kagemura turned around and made its return down the street. As in right toward us. I looked at her, my legs frozen in place. She reached out at me. Then the second step hit the earth, which nearly knocked me off my feet. That’s when I snapped to. That’s when I did what I did.

I wish I knew their names.

~

I don’t have any copies of Dust in my home out for display. I don’t want that to be the centerpiece around which I’ve build my life. All the stuff I have for that one, the books and posters and trophies and accolades, are packed into storage boxes up in the attic. The only thing of that day I have out are these two photos on my nightstand. A photo of a young woman, cradling her little sister’s body, while the shadow of a woman falls on them. The second is a selfie of me, with ash caked into my hair and a stream of tears leaking down my cheeks. I took it after I made it to a rescue center to let my mom know I was okay. I’m alone in it.

I survived on my own. I’d ran for what felt like hours, alone. I dodged boulders of cinderblock and concrete and rebar, alone. I was even showered with empty bullet shell casings from a helicopter strike, all alone.

I could’ve taken her by the hand. I could have stayed with her. But I didn’t. No, I ran. And I became famous and rich for a photo that the smallest drone can take way better nowadays (which they have, as you can see on the Kagemura Tracker Stream). Yeah, good call Claire. Awesome choice.

My shrink tells me not to blame myself. But did she ever see Kagemura in the flesh? No. All of my exes, who just couldn’t deal with the moods and the night terrors, told me I couldn’t have done anything to help her, which is clearly bullshit meant to make me feel better. My agent always sends me clips of Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting (“It’s not your fault”) whenever I send him drunken e-mails at three in the morning about how awful I am for surviving, which in all honesty make me feel so much worse.

No matter what I do. No matter how much money I give away or pump into the Kagemura Survivor Fund or places it’s stomped through I visit to drum up aid, her face never goes away. Who was that in her arms? Did she love that child? Was it hers? A sibling? Or just a kid she tried to save, because that’s the kind of person I imagine her to be.

And if you’ll excuse me, I can’t breathe right now.

~

There are nights, the ones where I can’t sleep, that I just stare at my phone at the KTS. I see its face in full hi-def. Cracked, green-purple skin. Mad, almost insane eyes that look like those of a crazed crocodile, with rows of teeth like an angler fish. I still can’t believe this is the same thing I saw in that dust cloud. There’s no beauty to it. Just rage and pain, lashing out at the world as it marches wherever the winds take it. I’d say I know what that’s like, minus the lashing out and the laser breath. Sometimes I envy that part.

I hate Kagemura. I absolutely hate it. It has become everything that my life revolves around, whether I let it or not. But it’s also the only one who was there in that street. Would it remember me? No, that’s insane. I dunno; I’m rambling. Sorry.

I want to like myself. I did at one point. But now it’s gone. And I tell myself the Titan on the other side of the dust is to blame. But no. It was the cowardly twenty-two-year old who ran. No one forced her. She did that.

Now, when Kagemura shows up on screen, all I see anymore is a reflection, staring right back at me.

Claire Gainsborough, B.A., is a graduate of the School of Greater Design in Pasadena, CA. During her gap year, she survived the Day Zero event of the first Kagemura Ascendance in Singapore. After her trials, she became the most renowned photographer of our modern age, among the highlights being her works “The Titan Through the Dust,” “The Royal Wedding of the Prince and his Husband,” and the “Tezuka in Blue” series.

She currently lives in Colorado and can be contacted through her agent in New York.

Joachim Heijndermans writes, draws, and paints nearly every waking hour. Originally from the Netherlands, he’s been all over the world, boring people by spouting random trivia. His work has been featured in a number of publications, such as Ahoy Comics, Asymmetry Fiction, Gathering Storm Magazine, Hinnom Magazine, and The Gallery of Curiosities, and he’s currently in the midst of completing his first children’s book. You can check out his other work at www.joachimheijndermans.com, or follow him on Twitter: @jheijndermans.

Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.

“The Titan Through the Dust” is © 2019 Joachim Heijndermans Art accompanying story is © 2019 Leigh Legler

Fiction: The Titan Through the Dust was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[somethinginthewayiam]

PRESSing matters (Part 8)

Pairing: Ben x reader

Warnings: none

Words: 1905

Summary: You are finally at the Oscars, watching from the greenroom with most of the cast as the movie wins one Oscar after the other. But you’re so hungry that, when you all waited outside for the car, almost bite Joe’s arm off when he suddenly appears with a doughnut in his hand...

Previous chapter: Part 7

You rode over to the Dolby Theatre in two cars. Pam rode with Rami, Lucy, Allen and his wife Jessica and you shared the car with Gwil, Joe and, of course, Ben. While Gwil sat in the front seat next to the driver, you shared the back seat, sitting between Ben and Joe.

Now that you got closer to the red carpet, you felt more nervous than ever. Although you would just stay on the side or walk behind the cast during the interview section, you really hoped and prayed that you would not trip over you own feet and fall flat on the red carpet. Maybe you would blend in by wearing the red dress if you just didn’t move until everybody was gone.

You jiggled your foot while in thoughts. “Please stop”, Ben said and put his hand on your knee to stop you. “You’re making me nervous”, he said. Not only for you was it the biggest event of your career tonight. “You’re making all of us nervous”, Joe commented, who was evenly unnerved by your jiggling. Before you could say something, your stomach growled loudly in the car, making Gwil turning his head to the back of the car.

“And hungry”, Joe added with a chuckle. “I’m sorry, I haven’t eaten all day”, you explained and folded your hands in your lap. “Does that mean you’re going to be really fun as soon as we got the first glass of champagne in you?”, Joe asked with an excited glimpse in his eyes. “Well, if I don’t get something to eat first, I’m going to be a cheap drunk, that’s for sure”, you exhaled loudly and twisted your fingers.

“Excuse me, we have arrived”, the driver announced and stopped the car. Showtime!

“Alright fellas, listen up”, you said back in your PR headspace. Gwil turned around in his seat and was now facing the three of you. “These are the Oscars and we’re going to have a blast, but first, you need to survive the red carpet. Smiles up, backs straight, be funny, but no shenanigans. Looking at you Mazzello”, you said to the side. Joe commented with an eyeroll. “You know the drill. BoRhap on three”, you exclaimed and put your hand in the middle. The guys put their hands on yours just like you had done before every big press event in the past five months. It had become sort of your thing together. Usually Rami and Lucy would be there too.

“One, two, three, BoRhap”, the four of you said together, bouncing your hands up and down. Then the guys got out of the car. The wall of sound that hit you as soon as they opened the car doors was deafening. But what surprised you even more was Ben’s extended hand to help you out of the car. You scooted over, anxious of keeping your legs together as you swung them out of the back of the car. You reached out, took his hand and stood up. Your other hand was holding on to your clutch. “Thanks”, you mumbled with a shy smile which he couldn’t have heard but he nodded anyway.

You met up with the others in a little tent at the beginning of the red carpet. Getting everybody ready, some make-up retouches, you trying to fix Rami’s crooked bow tie and the next moment it was a go.

Pam walked with Lucy and Rami, you accompanied the other four guys, Jessica by your side. You were happy that you weren’t alone. Also, it helped your nerves that you had something to do as you moved them from one reporter to the next after the photographers were done. The guys snapped a few pics themselves for Instagram, Allen making a video for his followers.

 Only forty minutes later, it was done, you had survived the red carpet. Rami and Lucy were going to their seats in the big hall, right front and center as Rami was one of the nominees as Best Leading Actor. The rest of the cast, Pam and you were in the greenroom-slash-bar backstage, watching it over big TV screens. “I still think it’s a shitty move that you guys don’t have seats in there”, you said, holding on to your glass of champagne, sitting in a booth, surrounded by Joe, Gwil, Ben, Allen, Jessica and Pam.

“Are you kidding me? This is great”, Joe said. “We have great seats, we have booze and we get to enjoy the show”, he said and toasted you with his drink. You clink glasses with him and took a sip, but you still found it unfair.

You were just two sips in, but it already felt like the alcohol was getting to your head. You felt Ben’s hand next to you on the sofa. While you both still kept looking up at the screen on the wall, you put your left hand on the sofa as well, your pinkies touching. You inhaled deeply at that little touch of your fingers. You took another sip of your drink as you moved your fingers over his, feeling brave thanks to the alcohol. For a short moment, Ben closed his fingers around yours and squeezing them lightly.

“Hey, our first category is up”, Gwil said and you quickly let go of Ben’s hand, scooting to the edge of the seat, pretending to fully pay attention to the TV screen. It was the award for Best Film Editing and Bohemian Rhapsody won. Just like the awards for Sound Mixing and Sound Editing.

A little later, the winners came backstage and you congratulated them. You took some pictures of them with the guys and toasting to their win.

When it came to the Oscar for Best Actor, you all stood up from your seats. You watched Gary Oldman and Allison Janney opening the envelope and as soon as they read out Rami’s name, your whole corner started cheering like crazy. You all hugged and filled your champagne glasses as you watched Rami giving his acceptance speech. When you turned around after you hugged Gwil, you found Ben in front of you. You didn’t know why, but for a second you hesitated to hug him because somehow you thought that would reveal your secret to anyone. But it would actually strike more attention if you didn’t. Gladly Ben took the decision from you as he just pulled you into his arms. It didn’t last longer than a few seconds, but you took a deep breath of his cologne as you were pressed against his body.

You turned around to the TV to listen to Rami talking. When he thanked Lucy, you actually had tears in your eyes. “You’re alright?”, Ben asked as he noticed you sniffling. “Yeah, yeah, just…this was just too cute”, you said and motioned towards the screen, feeling your eyes tearing up again. “We should do shots, let’s do shots”, Joe called out and walked over to the bar without awaiting your responses.

There was still one award to go, Best Picture. Sadly, Bohemian Rhapsody didn’t win, but it was the best movie in your book. “Four out of five, that’s still great”, you shrugged your shoulders. “Great? That’s amazing!”, Pam called out and grabbed one of the leftover shots from the trey on the little table in front of you. She knocked it back stone cold and your eyes got big in surprise. “Pam! I’ve never seen you like this”, you called out laughing. “This is a big night for us and as it turned out an even bigger night for the movie we have been accompanying for the past five months. This is a success all the way. It’s time to celebrate that!”, Pam exclaimed, raising her arms in the air. She already seemed a little drunk to you. “Alright, alright. Keep your energy for the afterparty”, you said and pulled her arms down gently.

You were ready to have some fun, dance and drink some more, but before that you definitely needed some food.

 Your little group of Gwil, Allen, Jessica, Ben and you were standing in front the Dolby Theatre, waiting for your car to go to the Vanity Fair afterparty as you saw Joe coming back to your little group with a chocolate glazed doughnut. Lucy had gone back to the hotel to change into a more comfortable dress and Rami was still inside with Pam doing interviews after his Oscar win.

“You can have anything you want from me if you give me a bite of that doughnut”, you exclaimed as you spotted him and stared intensively at the treat in his hand. Where the hell did he manage to get a doughnut from?

“That's quite the offer in a dress like that”, he said with a deeper voice and a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Oh, don't be gross, Joe”, you playfully slapped his arm. “You started it”, he cried out, pulling his arm away from you. It was also the arm he was holding the doughnut with.

“Pleeeease, Joe”, you whined, grabbed his arm and looked at him with your most convincing look. “Jesus Christ, okay! Before you rip my arm off...”, he finally allowed you to take a bite. It actually was the first bite. The sound you made when you finally sunk your teeth into the fluffy, chocolate covered dough could only be described as sexual. “Thank you, Joe”, you sighed as you had swallowed the bite and gave him back the doughnut. He just looked at you with big eyes. “Why do I feel like I need a cigarette now?”, Joe asked and took a bite himself.

“I have spent three nights with you and I have never heard you make those sounds”, Ben whispered at your side. “Well, you’re not covered in chocolate”, you replied with a low voice. He raised an eyebrow and licked his lips. You looked up at him form under your lashes and bit down on your bottom lip.

“Oh, I can do it even sexier than Y/N”, you heard Joe saying to Gwil. Allen was holding up his iPhone, recording Joe. “Wait”, Joe said and got the doughnut in his hand ready. “Make it dirty”, Gwil commented. “Oh, I’m gonna make it gross”, Joe added. “Yeah, yeah, yeah”, Gwil agreed excitedly. “Ready? Wait…”, Joe said and took a little step forward.

Then, Joe turned to the camera, taking a bite of his treat in a very seductive-gross-kind-of-way, chewing with an open mouth. Allen then played it back in slow motion and it was the funniest thing you had ever seen.

“Can I have another bite?”, you pleaded. “That didn’t turn you off of it?”, Gwil asked and pulled a face. “That's it, lady, I'm taking you to 7Eleven”, Joe called out and linked arms with you. “We gotta get some food into you before you take a bite out of all of us”, he added in his dry humor. “Anyone else want something?”, he asked around. “No, I'm good”, Allen shook his head and his wife passed as well. “I'll join you”, Ben announced and linked arms with you on the other side. “Can you guys bring me some pretzels?”, Gwil asked. “Will do”, you nodded and followed Joe and Ben to a cab while Allen, Jessica and Gwil took the car you came with. You would all meet up at the afterparty.

a/n: You know I had to put the doughnut thing in after Joe posted this video on his YouTube channel. Hope you liked my take on it!

Next chapter: Part 9

tag list:

@valentineash @the-limit-doesnt-exist @rogerspoison @rogermeddowstayl0r @i-am-sarah @unbound-chaos @goodiebluebox @the-borhap-boys @leeezie @kimberliinabox @anikatcmh

[amayapowell]

The Wedding Weekend

*Bing* Ladies and gentleman, on behalf of our flight crew, we would like to welcome you to San Francisco International Airport. Local time is 8:23 am and the current temperature is a pleasant 62 degrees.

Eleven hours was a long flight for a weekend, but it was worth it to see two of her best friends get married. It’d been four years since their Hartfeld graduation; when everyone went their separate ways and it was their wedding weekend that would bring them all back together. She takes out the rehearsal invitation for an old Hollywood night of dinner and dancing, where they’ll all arrive as the Golden Age of Hollywood cinema. Lucky for her; the hottest up in coming designer on the New York Fashion scene is another best friend.

Her cab pulls up in front of the Hotel Majestic to a crowd and a familiar frame. Tall, broad, defined, herculean. His hair was a little greyer since she’d seen him last but he was unmistakable. The sound of the paparazzi cameras flashing was barely audible over the hoard of screaming girls reaching out for an autograph or a picture or a feel.

“Oh my gosh Chris Powell, can I have your autograph too?” She screams out with an embellished girlish squeal.

Without turning around, his head lifts with a beaming smile growing across his face. He’d know that voice over any crowd. And in an attempt to not sound too eager, he apologies to his wading fans.

“I’m sorry guys, that’s it for today. My dates here.” He turns around to the disappointing moans of the dispersing crowd, to dip down and meet her in a hug that only he gives. She throws her arms around his neck while his hands meet at the small of her back.

“Is this ok? Or is security gonna tackle me?”

“They’re checking the hotel for bombs so you should be good for a few minutes.” He flashes that boyish smile she loves so much.

“You look amazing Laney come here.” She smiles at the nickname he gave her when she started at the Knightly News their Sophomore year. She was his Lois Lane to her Clark Kent. He picks her up once more and holds her in a tight hug; slightly swinging their bodies together. After setting her down and grabbing her bag, they both make their way inside.

“You don’t look so bad yourself Rookie of the Year. Look at you…new title, new city...You’re having a pretty good year Kent. How are you liking Seattle?”

“I love it! The hiking, the water, the seafood. It’s not Maine, but it’s a close second.” Chris looks around the lobby as if to verify that they were alone. “Where is everyone?”

“Looks like we’re the first. We’re still a little early though; it’s only a little after 9:30 and you know how Abbie is with her schedule, so they should be here soon.”  The air is heavy between them, as his stare stints the rest of her speech.

“Soooo your date huh?”

“How else was I going to get them to leave?”

“So, does this mean I’m going to be on tonight’s highlight reel? You know I’m more CNN than ESPN?”

“Probably just local, nothing national.”

She shoves him playfully. “Alright Kent, so where’s your real date to this little shindig? I see from your fan club that you’re not lacking any options.”  

“HA!”

“What about that Chelsea what’s her name? I saw those pictures of you two looking pretty cozy after your signing.” Chris tilts his head and raises an eyebrow.

“Stalk much?”

“I’ve got contacts at TMZ.” Chris laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“Publicity. My agent’s bright idea. Those were the longest three dinners of my life. Besides Laney, you know Clark Kent only has eyes for Lois Lane.”  He says while giving her a sly little wink.

“What about you, famous journalist? Who are you here with Anderson Cooper, Trevor Noah?

“Why is Trevor Noah here?” Her eyes jolt around the lobby until they settle back on him with a smile.

“Hardly famous. But nope, flying solo. After three months in Korea, I still haven’t gotten used to the accents or the food. So that doesn’t make me much of a date. I can’t tell you how much I’m dying for some greasy American fast food.”

“Sounds like we need to welcome you back properly.” He claps his hands and rubs them together. “Alright then, that settles it, burgers and beers on me tonight.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that Kent.”

“I hope so.” Silently they stare into each other’s eyes when another familiar voice breaks the tension.

“Holy shit I won already. Pay up Laio!” They both turn to see Kaitlyn, Zack and Audrey heading their direction.

“This is not a part of the terms and you know it.”

“Please, we’ve been here two seconds and they’re already making out.”

“Um hello?”

“Laney and I were just catching up guys.”

“Overruled. They haven’t seen each other in what four years, judges allow for catch up time.”

Amaya and Chris steal a glance through their bickering.

“College nicknames and an almost make out…I rule I’ve already won.”

“You would.”

Amaya walks in between them reaching out to a tall buxom blonde standing behind Kaitlyn.

“Audrey thank God for a friendly face.”

“You love me.” Kaitlyn says while pushing her into Audrey’s embrace.

“This is nothing. They went on like this for the entire plane ride. But least I had Henry to keep me company. Although now that I see you in person, I can see what all the fuss is about.” She extends her hand towards Chris.

“Chris Powell, I presume.” Chris blushes reciprocating the gesture.

“Guilty. It’s nice to meet finally you Audrey. Although from the stories and your pictures, I feel like I already know you.”

“What pic…”

Amaya’s eyes widen as she clears her throat.

“Ugh…Where’s Hankie?”

“He’s on the phone, he’ll be right in.” Zack says setting down his carryon some nearby couches.

“Save some of that love for me.” Hank breezes through pulling Amaya into a hug. “Amaya. Gorgeous as ever. When are you going to run away with me?”

“Play your cards right and this might be your weekend.”

“He’s too high maintenance for you.”

Henry stops short of his next thought and leans around Amaya.

“What about you handsome…Run away with me?”

“Hey Henry. Lookin’ sharp!” Hank scoffs behind a wink.

“I know.”

“Seriously love. When are you going to let me do a spread on you?”

“When I am worthy of a Henry Cavendish spread.” She dips her head while giving an embellished bow.

“It’s true, not many are.”

“And so modest.”

“But you are perfect for this seasons cross overs. An AP award-winning journalist and recent Emmy nomination would look great in Vooogue...”

“This is who your next spread should be on. The newest Seattle Mariners Ace Pitcher. A top pitching prospect with 131 strikeouts and 117 innings. From college football God to Rookie of the Year?  I’d say you can’t get a much better crossover than that.”

The group stairs silent and wide-eyed back at her.

“Groupie. How do you know all that?” Kaitlyn asks while sitting down next to Zack.

“Journalist…it’s my job.”

“Sounds like you should be my agent.”

“It’s probably a pay raise so I may take you up on that.”

“I’m sure she’ll take the perks of the job as well.”

“I’ve been gone for three months…Is this going to be pick on Amaya weekend?”

Kaitlyn and Zack respond in unison.

“Probably.”

The six of you sit in the lobby talking and catching up when Zack starts whistling and clapping loudly. The rest of the group all turn to see Tyler and Abbie walking in hand in hand and join in the cheers of welcoming the soon to be Bride and Groom.

“Guys!” Abbie squeals as she lets go of Tyler’s hand and runs towards the group.

“Amaya, you’re here!”

“Of course, I’m here. There’s no way I would let you get married without me. Trades smadge. They’ve got nothing on your wedding. Soooooo are you guys ready for the next step?”

“I think prepared is more of the question?”

“Actually guys, there's a subtle distinction between the two. ‘Being prepared’, I think means having done work in advance so that there is a plan in place to ensure that everything runs smoothly as our life as a married couple begins. ‘Being ready’, I think refers to an emotional preparedness or readiness. And although extremely anxious, I can’t wait to make this woman my wife.”

Abbie shakes her head at her husband-to-be’s response. “That was ‘yes’ the long way.”

All of the girls coo and aw as Abbie snuggles up to Tyler for a kiss.

“Tyler thanks for the advanced copy of your new release, but I cannot get past level three.” Chris questions Tyler, while Abbie huddles alongside the girls.

“I am so excited! This weekend is going to be so much fun!” Abbie says practically bursting with excitement. “I cannot wait to get all dressed up for tomorrow night.”

“Whose idea was that anyway?”

“That was I.” Zack yells over his should half eavesdropping on the girl's conversation.

“An idea he stole from one of my recent Vanity Fair shoots.”

“Oooo fancy.”

“And this place is the quintessential turn of the century location for such an occasion. A photographer’s dream!”

“Speaking of which. Amaya here’s your dress. I’ll stop by your room tomorrow for any alterations.” Kaitlyn hands her a garment bag with red sequins shimmering through the clear plastic label spot from a nearby luggage rack.  

“Thank you. I’m sure it’s perfect! And Audrey you’re still gonna do my hair and makeup right?”

“Of course. I’ve brought all my stuff for the weekend.”

“And I will be stopping by everyone’s rooms to get a few time machine transformation shots.”

“Hankie you’re not going to be working the entire weekend, are you?”

“Oh no. I brought my assistant Claire with me to shoot the majority of this weekend’s events. But I’d still like to get a few shots in myself. And don’t worry you two, I trust her with my life. Now she’s not as good as I am, but what can you do?”

“Humble, isn’t he?”

Ignoring Zack’s remarks, Henry continues his thoughts. “She’ll be here in time to set up for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow.”

“You guys are the best friends…everything is going to be just…perfect.” Abbie's face starts to frown and her eyes appear to well.

“No, no, no, no, no. No crying already.”

“I’m just so happy we’re all together again. Wait, where’s Zig and Dan?”

“Oh, they couldn’t get an earlier flight out of Tokyo, so they’re coming in on a red-eye tonight.”

“That sucks. It’s bad enough that James and Jules couldn’t be here.

“Thus the life of a big shot movie director. Gotta tour the rounds.”

“Well since the whole gang’s not here yet, why don’t we all rest up a bit and then we can meet up for drinks later?”

“Oh, you read my mind! I don’t know about you guys, but jet lags a ‘B’ and I don’t want any bags under these eyes for wedding pictures.”

“So, we’ll all meet in the Butterfly Lounge for drinks tonight and then make our way back to the 1950s tomorrow.” Abbie squeals clapping her hands together.

Everyone hugs and retires to their separate rooms. Leaving Chris and Amaya to look around and notice that they are the only two remaining, so they take the last elevator up together.  Once the doors are closed and with no time wasted, they both drop their bags slamming into each other in a passionate, long awaited kiss. He eases her back towards the wall with his hands cupping her face. While her hands wander aimlessly behind her, fishing for the emergency stop button. The elevator comes to a jerking halt, leaving her hands to now wander freely beneath his shirt.

This was nothing new. They had been sneaking off to see one another since “technically” breaking up when school ended. After Chris’ stint in the NFL didn’t pan out, he caught the eye of a baseball scout and moved to Utah to play triple-A ball, and with Amaya staying in New York after graduate school, a traditional relationship was hard to continue. It wasn’t ideal, every few weeks or a month (if they were lucky) but neither could stay away. Their friends, of course, didn’t know. It was just easier to say you broke up with no communication; than to answer any questions.

“I missed you last month. I thought you were going to meet me in Arizona after Spring Training.” His voice barely above a whisper, hovering over her mouth as his hands tilt her head to the side giving him access to the hollow of her neck.

“I know me too. But trade negotiations were getting heavy and…mmmm.”

Pleased with himself, his lips curl up from the sides.

“I love it when you talk about trade negotiations.” She giggles; still enjoying the feel of his mouth against her skin.

“I had big plans for us.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of plans?” Her eyes flash with fire, bolting down to her hands as they move further up his shirt.

“This is a good start.”

Just then, a voice comes through the elevators loudspeaker.

“This is emergency service, is everyone alright in there?”

A breathless ‘Yes’ barely escapes her, until she clears her throat, trying to get her mouth to form at least somewhat of a proper response. But it’s his mouth that’s making it hard for her to find the words.

“We’re fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oohh yeah.”

“Well we can’t see anything wrong from our end, so just hang tight and we’ll check things out as quickly as possible.”

“Mmm hmm…Take your time.” She says letting his mouth finds its way back to hers.

“God, I missed these lips. I swear they’re my kryptonite. And this body.” He leans back slightly to admire her form as his hands slowly make their way down from her neck, to her arms, finally settling on her hips. “But these thighs. These thighs…will be the death of me.”

His hands gradually start to inch up her dress, as he continues to kiss the straps down from her shoulders; following his own map from memory. When he suddenly pulls back, eyes wide with curiosity and darkening by the second.  

“But what a way to go. Now…do you want to know what I miss?”

“I’m more of a visual learner.”

She inches up on her toes and kisses her way up to his ear lobe and gives it a little nibble just before whispering.

“Your. Flourless. Chocolate. Torte.” Then she curls her tongue up the back of his ear lobe and presses it between her lips; lowering herself back to the floor and tugging in a downward motion. Her eyes never leaving his.

“You’re evil. You know that?” He pulls her tight against his body.  

“How about we continue this without Oz listening in?”

She bites her bottom lip and raises her eyebrows suggestively, using her hips to nudge him backwards; leaning around him to push the emergency stop button again. He groans at the feel of her hips connecting with his growing excitement.

“Then you should probably stop that.”

The elevator jerks once more; continuing its upward motion and emergency service comes through a final time. “It looks like we have motion again. Is everything back to normal?”

Grabbing her bags and his, he turns to back to her.  

“It feels like it.”

“Great, have a wonderful day!”

The elevator dings when you arrive on the third floor. She exits first, making sure he has a good view of what’s to come until turning around to face him continuing her walk backward.

“So…how about that chocolate torte?

“Oh, trust me; I want some chocolate, but that’s not the one I want. When were you going to tell me you weren’t wearing anything under that dress?”

“I thought it’d be a nice surprise.” She winks back towards his direction.

“Don’t play with my emotions woman.”

He quickens his pace, reaching out for her, causing her to squeal and speed up to avoid his grab. Before you know it, he’s chasing her down the hall towards her room, reaching for the camera around his neck.

In her suite, there’s a bottle of champagne chilling on the edge of the bar, a bouquet of roses, a bath gift box, a box of Ghirardelli chocolates and a basket with an array of snacks. Chris gives a long drawn out whistle.

“Nice digs Laney.”

“Abbie and Tyler sure know how to show their bridal party a good time.”

“Are you sure this is all from them?”

“Who else would it be from? I’m sure your room has all the same stuff.”

“Believe me when I say that ‘mine does not’. My agent’s waaay too cheap to book me this nice of a room, let alone a suite with champagne.”

“Oooooh, big time pitcher too big to book his own rooms now.” She teases while grabbing her luggage for the bedroom.

“Take that back.” Chris slowly circles the room towards her.

“Or what?” Chris darts in her direction causing her to squeal, fending off his tormenting fingers to no avail. He tackles her to the bed tickling her mercilessly. Laughing hysterically, she pleads in between gasps.

“Chris! Stop!”

“What happened to or what?”

“Ok…Ok…Oookkk!”

“Ok, what?”

“Ok, I admit it.”

“I’m listening.”

“You’re the strongest, manliest, most handsome man in this room.” He finally lets her loose from his grip to let her catch her breath. She lays there next to him; resting her head against his left arm, as he slowly glides his free hand up her stomach pausing at her chest. Turning her head to the side, silently she stared back into his eyes. Words weren’t necessary. They’ve been here before, but this time was different.

“I’ve missed you, Laney.”

“Me too.”

He slowly gestures his head closer; so that his forehead was touching hers as if asking for permission to get closer. But knowing her own weakness and exactly where it would lead, she leans in only to give him a quick peck on the tip of his nose.

“Come on. Open that bottle, I believe I was promised a proper ‘welcome’.”

 _______________________________________________________

 “Mmmm…Oohh my God!”

“Is it bad that I am extremely turned on right now?”

She opens her eyes, just to give him a crooked smile while licking the sauce from the corners of her mouth.

“Welcome home Laney.”

“I can’t believe you brought that thing.” She says with her mouth still full.

“Why? I think I’m starting to get the hang of this photography thing. I might have a little side hustle on my hands.”

“Oh yeah? Let me see.”

She takes a few shots and reviews them from the comfortable spot she’s made herself on the bed.

“Oooh, this one’s a keeper. I wonder how much I could get for this on E-Bay?”

 “I don’t think anyone’s going to pay for a picture of my eating a burger.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I might not even need to go to E-Bay. I could start a bidding war just from that crowd this morning.”

He gives her an exaggerated laugh while standing to retrieve his camera.

“Alright, Annie Leibovitz, that’s enough out of you. Besides, it’s coming up on seven now. We should probably start getting ready for drinks.”

“You’re right. And maybe ease up on the picture comments when we get down there, huh? You almost got us caught.”

He reaches down to help lift her off the bed.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think that they don’t know that I’ve been to your place yet.”

“Yeah, yeah…well if I hadn’t been so quick on my toes, you’d have a lot of explaining to do.”

“I see. So, you want a reward now?”

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Maybe we’ll talk about that chocolate torte?”

“But it won’t be yours.”

“I’ll give you something else that’s mine. Come on.” He kisses the tip of her nose and reaches around to give her a playful smack on the rear.

“I think this is going to be a good weekend.”

[heyitskylie13]

My Journey to Try to Meet Tay

So, I put together this thread on Twitter not long before my first Rep Tour date (Columbus, OH 7.7.18) and it got quite a bit of attention in the Swiftie fandom (as of right now, I believe the original thread is up to 113 retweets and 242 likes, which is A LOT for little old me). I am trying to get @taylorswift & @taylornation to see it, and maybe...just maybe....this story can finally get its happy ending before I am finished with my rep tour dates. I figured in order to increase my chances of getting it seen, I’d write it all out here on tumblr as well, and maybe some of you very sweet fellow swifties will reblog, tag Tay, etc. I’d truly appreciate it. My next show is Atlanta Night 2, and then I will be in Nashville as well.  Here we go, an overview of all of the times I have gone out hoping to meet @taylorswift: 

1) 2007 - Country Concert Festival Fort Loramie, OH - I was 15 years old, and Taylor was the earliest act of the day and only had like a 30 minute set. I begged my parents to let me go with my boyfriend at the time just to see her play. There were only like 3 people in the crowd who knew her songs! I’d been following her Myspace (LOL) so I knew already that she loved interacting with her fans, and I waited by her tour bus opposite side of a gate for over an hour before a security guard eventually told me that she was not going to be coming over, that I was pathetic for waiting so long, and that I need to leave. I started crying, and my boyfriend made us go. 

2) 2008 - Country Concert Festival Fort Loramie, OH - Taylor got invited back! A slightly later slot, but it was on Sunday which a lot of people don’t stick around for (the festival actually has since cut the day entirely). My high school bestie and I were there though with a poster baring Tay’s lyrics and screaming every word to the songs she played. I don’t have photos of our posters because some drunk girl stepped on it after we had accidentally dropped it and ended up ripping it pretty bad. We waited by the buses after her set for quite awhile before we were eventually told by security that she had to catch a flight to NY or something and wouldn’t be coming out.

3) 2009 - Defying Gravity Tour - Taylor was opening for Keith Urban and a group of my friends and I got tickets to just to see her! I got to meet Mama Swift for the first time, but didn’t meet Tay. I wasn’t really surprised because there were so many of us in our group, and this was before her headlining days so we didn’t even really know if there’d be a chance or not.

4) 2009 - CMT Awards Nashville, TN - I bought tickets when it was announced that Taylor would be performing, and drove to Nashville from Ohio (with my older sisters accompanying me because I was only 17 haha). I got to meet a lot of celebrities actually outside of the venue beforehand, but not Taylor, and my phone also died before the show so I didn’t get any photos. 

5) 2009 - Fearless Tour Columbus, OH - Nothing crazy happened this day, really, but it marked the beginning of Natalie and my’s ongoing Taylor concert bond! Taylor also came this close to us during “Hey Stephen” and touched my hand as she was walking back to the stage! 

6) 2009 - Fearless Tour Indianapolis, IN - A random guy-friend of mine ended up with an extra floor ticket to the show and invited me so of course I said yes! I saw Mama Swift again, and she actually remembered me and “all my jean skirt, cowboy hat friends” from Cincinnati (the keith urban show!) -- I was shocked, and she is so sweet that she upgraded us from our back-of-floor seats to the pit! 

7) 2010 - Fearless Tour Cincinnati, OH - My friend and I arrived to the venue at like 10 A.M. the day of the show, and we brought a scrapbook we had made for Taylor. It ended up raining and still we stood outside (trying to protect our book lol) for nearly five hours across from the tour buses/loading area. Eventually someone from Tay’s team came out and gave us pit passes and took the book promising to get it to Taylor. I still have no idea if she ever saw it. 

8) 2013 - The 13 Hour Meet & Greet Nashville, TN - This is the hardest day to talk about of them all...We came from Ohio and walked around the event ALL DAY (totaled about 10 hours) trying to be picked by Taylor’s team members and we watched fans meet Taylor all day from this close to us. We never were picked, and eventually we left/gave up once they announced the last meet & greet wristbands had been handed out. It was honestly heartbreaking because this event had our hopes up so high, but Taylor is truly an angel for meeting SO many people that day, and I don’t fault her at all. Plus, we did get to enjoy a free acoustic set!! 

9) 2011 - CMA Fest Nashville, TN - At an event this big, we truly didn’t expect to meet Taylor, but we still had an incredible time supporting her as a CLOSING act of the festival!! 

10) 2011 - Speak Now Tour Indianapolis, IN - We had SOOO many glowsticks haha but it worked somewhat! Taylor’s team came up to us in our literal nosebleed seats and gave us pit passes! It was an amazing experience, but we still didn’t get to meet Taylor. 

11) 2011 - Speak Now Tour Cleveland, OH - This concert was the VERY NEXT NIGHT from the previous entry in this story! Two out of three of us (Natalie and I of course) made a back-to-back trip from Indianapolis to our hometown (2 hours each way) and then to Cleveland immediately (4 hours each way) to see Taylor again in our same get-up from the night before. We had floor seats this time, and there were these two precious little girls in front of us who kept standing on the chairs in order to see and getting scolded by security. It was breaking my heart that them (or their parents who kept trying to hold them but they were heavy as like seven year olds) couldn’t truly enjoy the concert. Since we knew what the setlist would do, we told the family about Taylor’s “b-stage” songs she’d sing later closer to us. I saw Andrea and told her what was going on, and she said I looked familiar haha I gave her a brief overview of shows I’d been to and when we’d met and she said, “so of course, you’ve met Taylor” or something along those lines and I truthfully said “no I haven’t.” She had me go get the family and brought all of us into the sound-stage/b-stage private area for Taylor’s set there and for the rest of the show. The family was so excited and when Taylor came down from the stage, she hugged those little girls on her way out to the crowd and when she was hugging these other girls in front of us, she extended her arm to half-hug us at the same time. I CRIED A LOT.

12) 2013 - Red Tour Columbus, OH - At this point, we tried to up our costume game lol we went for the “22″ music video look. We were pretty happy with it! We didn’t get noticed by anyone for anything at this show, though. Nothing crazy happened, but as always any night at a Taylor Swift show is magical and memorable <3 

13) 2015 - 1989 Tour Louisville, KY - OOOO Lucky #13 ;) This really was a lucky show. We went to the @taylornation booth and they were impressed by how many shows we’d each gone to, and when I told them all about my Master’s Degree Thesis (I wrote it entirely on Taylor just a few months prior, and had just earned my graduate degree about a month before this show!). They were really intrigued by this and kept asking for all sorts of details lol when we left the booth, we barely made it far away before one of the girls from TN was chasing us down. My heart was beating SO FAST. She asked if we’d like to enjoy Taylor from the pit that night instead of our ticketed upper-level seats. OF COURSE! We didn’t get offered Loft ‘89 that night, unfortunately, which once we’d been upgraded we didn’t expect. Although, some girls nearby us did get upgraded and then later given Loft as well. Props to them! This was still one of my favorite show experiences and memories, especially because I heard the “Clean” speech for the first time and I REALLY needed it at this time in my life. A lot of tears were shed. 

14) 2015 - 1989 Tour Gillette Stadium, MA - We won tickets to this!! Couldn’t believe it. Four of us got to go, and we drove TWELVE HOURS (it actually ended up being like 14 after traffic and stops etc haha) to go to this. This was one of the costume get-ups I am the most proud of. When we got to the TN booth, there weren’t any of Taylor’s team working it (I guess it was stadium employees taking pics idk). We did our best to stand out during the show, but we didn’t get to meet Taylor. I actually heard that there may not have even been a Loft that night, but there had been at the previous night Gillette show.

15) 2015 - 1989 Tour Columbus, OH - We loved our outfits for this, we were BAD BLOOD AF!! We didn’t get noticed in any way this night, though. Taylor was still amazing as per usual and it was my last time seeing the 1989 Tour. We did, however, cry on the drive home feeling defeated yet again....

16) 2018 - Reputation Stadium Tour Columbus, OH - Just recently added this one because I’m one show into the Rep Tour and have still not met Tay. My first show of the rep tour required me to drive 6 hours from Nashville (I moved here in 2016), but I was so excited that the drive there flew by! I’ve really been working hard to get noticed on social media this era (as you’ve seen everything above wasn’t working for me). I thought maybe this twitter thread was finally enough to get attention from Taylor/TN, so I honestly got my hopes up more than I should’ve about getting a DM for pre-show. I’m still not totally sure what was going on, but it seemed that there wasn’t as many pre-show DM’s as usual and maybe the process is changing (or the holiday impacted it idk still really). Not that I thought I was a shoe-in or anything for a pre-show M&G, but the situation did make me feel like my shot of meeting Taylor now was definitely low. We were absolutely in AWE of every aspect of this show, though, let me tell you. I wasn’t disappointed in any way by Taylor’s production. Wow. Just wow. We also were unexpectedly right next to one of the B-stages so Taylor was so close during that part of the show! I cried my eyes out to the “Long Live” & “New Year’s Day” mash-up because of my new long live tattoo and because NYD has significance to me and my relationship. Unfortunately, I ended up feeling AWFUL like a majority of the show though (like sick) and it got worse about halfway through.I spent a lot of time trying not to throw up or miss any of Taylor performing, and I toughed it out, but it wasn’t the way I wanted to experience the show. I ended up having to sprint past everyone with Natalie’s help to make it to a bathroom and throw up and I felt awful our whole hour drive back to Natalie’s house. It’s honestly probably good I didn’t get picked for post-show rep room because of how bad I felt! ANYWAY I’m still sad it didn’t happen for me, but I am hopeful that it wasn’t the right time and my time with Taylor is still coming.

CONCLUSION: I am not in anyway ungrateful for the @taylorswift experiences I have had thus far. I know I have gotten more from Andrea and @taylornation than many have. Some people haven’t even gotten to see Taylor live! I know that, BUT my DREAM since before section #1 here has been to meet Taylor and thank her in person for everything she’s helped me get through. So if it’s possible in anyway to make this happen so I can tell her that, show her my tattoos she’s inspired, tell her about my thesis, etc....it’d mean the world to me.

[hey-hey-chan]

Click Pause - Seungmin

Inspired by this gfx set by @realstraykids !! Em is so talented and I immediately got this idea when I looked at her art, so please check it out and give it lots of love (not like you haven’t seen it already pssh)

Ok now with no further ado, here it is idk why im so dramatic wtf

*click* *click* 

*click* *click*

The pink cherry blossoms that were fading were always the most beautiful to me. Yeah, the bright pink they get in the beginning is pretty, almost a hopeful feeling, but the fading of the color reminds me how sometimes even the most gorgeous things can try to cling onto life for a bit longer. 

*click* I looked down to my camera and checked the pictures I had taken. I sighed and shook my head, my bangs sticking to my forehead in this warm spring air. 

“No feeling my ass, these pictures are beautiful.” I muttered to myself. I had just come out of my principal’s office. After winning an award, doing photoshoots, and bringing so much recognition to my school, you think the man would be thankful. Wrong. He’s always trying to bring down my reputation and make me fail high school, I don’t know what’s his deal honestly. 

I leaned against a tree and winced in frustration after remembering the conversation I had with him earlier. 

“What?! That’t not fair! You can’t do that!” I yelled at the older man in front of me, he leaned back in his chair, a smirk emblazed on his lips despite trying to hide it with a glare. 

“Young man, you do not speak to me like that. You have to do this to graduate and to get this big scholarship, and if you don’t, then oh well, your whole career is down the drain.” He mocked me by mimicking a toilet flushing which made my whole face turn red in disgust at his behavior. 

“Mr. Kim, it’s just, I-I don’t get it. I’ve been apart of numerous photoshoots, won awards for my work, I’ve gotten interviews with really good colleges, why would you try to hold me back from this?” I questioned. 

Despite being an award winning photographer, I was still a senior in high school trying to make my way on by. The senioritis was really kicking me in the shins right now, but nothing could ever stop me from taking pictures. It was the only thing keeping me sane from this hell hole, yet my principal always had to try and hold me back from achieving my dreams. 

The old guy always gave me weird looks in the hallways and glared at me every time I gave a speech. I don’t know what I did to upset him so much. 

“Oh Seungmin, if you think you’re the best photographer out there, you’re so wrong. I’m sorry to say that but it’s true-”

“That’s a lie, I am good! I just won the 2018 SK Rising Photograph Award, I don’t want to brag or anything, but it’s an award some people only dream of, and I got it at 17. How is that not being good?” I felt my heart beating a million times per second as I felt rage and fear stir inside of me. I felt like I was walking on a flower road to my dreams, and now a huge roadblock was in my way. 

“Yeah, the rising photographer award, which means you’re not there yet. And I’ve been talking with numerous colleges, lots have been asking for you, but also I’ve heard some critique about your photos.” I sat up in my chair, my ears sticking up in curiosity. 

“Critique about what? I mean, I know I have flaws, but they’re fixable. I’m only 17.” I mentioned again. The man laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

“They mentioned how that yes, your photos are good, but they don’t really have any feeling behind them. You don’t take pictures of things that mean something to you, just what you have to take pictures of, you see the difference? They want something raw and emotional or loving, anything like that! And you, being the star of the school, I won’t allow you to fail. So, that’s your next assignment.” He shoved the document in front of me that literally just explained what he told me. “Good luck my boy.” 

I shook my head, trying to erase the memory, although I needed to do this project to finish high school. I guess I could drop out and just go get a real job, but I want to graduate. I mean, I’ve dedicated 4 years to this hell hole, I’m leaving with a certificate and my legacy. 

I raised my camera to get some good shots of the sun hitting the flowers perfectly. 

“You like cherry blossoms too?” My concentration fell to the ground as the girl practically screamed in my ear. I closed my eyes, trying to not lash out at her as I almost had the most perfect shot. “I love them too! They’re so pretty! I love the color pink, it makes me so happy! And pink and white? That’s golden! Also I love cherries because red is my favorite color, but cherry blossoms are pinky, isn’t that weird? I’ve always-” 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I asked abruptly, hoping she would get the point and scurry away. Unfortunately, the girl smiled and held out a hand. 

“Oh my bad, I always forget to introduce myself. I’m y/n, and you’re the photographer boy.” I scoffed at her words. Photographer boy, is that what I’m known by? 

I shrugged and tried not to roll my eyes, “Kim Seungmin.” I replied quickly, not dragging this conversation out longer. 

“Ah yes, you’re very popular. I know you. You go to my school you know? We’re in the same grade.” I tried to raise my camera to snap some more pics, but I knew my concentration was already lost. 

“Oh really?” I blandly noted. I saw her nod in the corner of my eye and then did something that made me want to punch her face through the roof. The girl deadass jumped right in front of my camera and kept spitting out nonsense.

“Yeah yeah! Everybody knows you! Although, you don’t seem like the type to just like go to a park and take some pictures. Everyone knows you’re the type of like, high motion picture kinda guy? Wait that didn’t make sense, but do you know what I mean? You’re like always on the move, not the type of nature picture-taker, ya know-”

“Ok I really don’t mean to be rude, but I am trying to complete a project, so can you please leave me alone?” I expected the girl to stop talking, but instead she just laughed and patted me on the arm, messing up my denim jacket. 

“Ahhh, sure of course! Why didn’t you say that earlier!? Oh wells, I guess I’ll be on my way now, see you later!” With those words, she ran into the far distance. 

I shook my head and took off my jacket to get more freedom in my arms. 

That girl was kinda weird, hopefully I never see her again. But then again, what the hell was she going on about? What do people think of me?

I brushed away the thought and returned to snapping pics of the flowers who I knew couldn’t talk.

*click*

---

"So what am I going to do about this?” I was on the phone with my best friend, complaining about the project my principal assigned.

“I don’t know dude, just get the picture done? The man has no idea what he’s talking about, your pictures are pretty cool dude. All high quality and shit.” I groaned and rolled over on my bed which made all my clothes tumble over in the process. 

Everyone thinks photographers have these aesthetically pleasing rooms; my room had a trash bag filled to the top and a spiderman mat on the ground.

“I guess I have to, but I don’t know how to make my pictures different?” Felix laughed harshly in my ear which made me pull my phone away from my face. 

“Just take a normal picture and submit it, 10/10 guranteed the man doesn’t know the different between a picture with ‘passion’ and a picture that’s just good.” 

-----

“This picture has no passion.” The old man threw my picture aside and shrugged his shoulders. 

“C’mon Mr. Kim, I love those flowers, they’re my favorite. I felt so happy taking them.” I lied. I mean, they are my favorite I guess, and I guess I felt happy, but I feel happy taking all my pictures. Because I’m a photographer.

The man winced and pursed his lips together, “hm I don’t doubt that boy. But you’re missing one thing.” I paused, waiting for him to continue. 

“Missing wha-”

“Love.” He interrupted me abruptly to say one daunting word. Love. 

“And I love taking pictures.” The guy had the audacity to sit up on his desk and hum like he didn’t know what I was talking about. “I’m serious.” Mr. Kim got off his desk and sighed. 

“Seungmin, I think at one point you loved to. You had an interest in it as a kid, you pursued it as a real life goal not just a hobby, but now? You see it as just work.” I stood in silence at his words and took a step back, the words hitting me like a blow to my face.

“Just work? There’s no way. I love what I do.” I argued, though even I felt like my words had no bite to them. Mr. Kim stared at me for a few moments, letting my anger seep quickly into my veins. Finally, the man just shrugged and turned to the door. 

“Seungmin, we both know that you’re lying, but maybe you just don’t know that yet. So here’s what I’m telling you, go out, not just to take pictures, but go out and have fun. And then take pictures when you’re actually having fun, not just taking pictures to make it look like you’re having fun. Then maybe, like, meet a girl or someone or something, or whoever you like, whatever. Just meet someone spunky and full of life, that’s my advice to you.” He rambled on and started to shove me out of his office.

“Wait, I-”

“I have work to do! Now go, meet someone who might drive you a lil crazy but does some good to you.” 

I was shoved into the hallways and the door clicked in front of my face. 

“Meet a girl? Why-” 

“SEUNGMIN!” I heard a familiar high pitched shriek come from the end of the hallway. Then, a girl with light pinks came running at me from far away. Oh hell no- “Seungmin, that’s so funny. I feel like I’ve never seen you around here, but now, after we talked yesterday, I see you everywhere!” 

“I mean, not everywhere. Just this once.” I hope. She barked out laughed while hitting my arm like we were friends.

“Yeah true, so, how’s that project coming along?” The words brought anger to my lips and I spat it at the innocent girl.

“You know what? It’s going great, so excuse me, I have to leave again.” I stomped away like a child, holding my head high and left the girl in the dust. I didn’t know what her expression was, but I assumed it was confused. 

I just hoped I never saw this girl again.

“Ugh I can’t sleep,” I spoke to myself. It was a 11:49 on a Friday night, yet I felt jittery and upset. I shook off the sweat on my head and pulled on some real clothes. “Nothing like a good slice of cake can’t heal.” I muttered to myself. 

I guess I might as well get some good pics of the night sky while I’m at it. 

I pulled on a black hoodie paired with dark jeans and left the house. Thank god my parents were on a business trip.

It took me about 10 minutes to walk to my favorite cafe, which was nice since it made me feel calm and sweet in the nice crispy air. I slowly took out my camera to snap a pic, then I remembered Mr. Kim’s words. 

“You just see it as work.” 

I shook my head, no I didn’t. I let my camera hang by my side and walked into the brightly lit cafe. 

“Hi what can I get for you- oh my gosh, hey Seungmin!” 

No no no, how is this girl everywhere Jesus Christ? 

I looked up and saw the familiar cheerful girl with light pink hair. She was even as excited looking at night. 

“Hey y/n,” I greeted respectfully, trying not to be a jackass this late at night. The cafe was dead, I mean I’m not surprised since it’s so late.

“So, really, what can I get for you tonight?” I sighed, peering down at the glass. 

“I guess I’ll get a coffee and a slice of tiramisu.” 

“Ooh! Tiramisu! My favorite! And coffee? At this hour?” I scoffed at his accusatory tone. 

“Yeah I guess I’m already awake, might as well take some pictures of this beautiful night sky Korea is blessed with.” For the first time ever, she paused to think about her words. Then, she shrugged her shoulders and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

“I guess, but you should really be getting some rest. Or like not thinking about work all the time.” 

She really didn’t just- I sighed internally and looked away from her face so she wouldn’t see the glare I had. 

“It’s not just work. I like to take pictures,” I said with attitude in my voice. The girl gave a small laugh, not like the ones she had earlier.

“So it is true.” I chuckled at her words.

“What’s true?”

“That you’re so obsessed with doing well that you’re started to take your work too seriously? I mean c’mon Seungmin, you’re 17. Go out a live a little.” 

“Live a little? I live A LOT. I live more than any high schooler actually; I travel abroad, I work with people I’ve only seen in magazines, isn’t that living?” I mocked her words, giving her a piece of my own brain. But, all the girl did was chuckle

“Fine, if you live a lot, then once I get off on my shift, we’re going somewhere fun. No work involved.” I stared at her face for a bit, wondering if she was crazy or something. 

“Go out? With you? No way.” She just laughed at my words. 

“Not as a date silly, all you’re doing is just proving a point. Plus, this tiramisu and coffee was on me so you owe me one.” I scoffed at her words and took the drink out from my mouth.

“That’s crazy, I never asked you to do that-” She shook her head and smiled.

“Nope, you didn’t ask me nor did I tell you I would be doing so. That was fun. You should try it.” I felt heat rise to my cheeks as she just sauntered away and set down her apron. “You coming or not? Either way I’m going alone.” 

“You like your ramen?” I slurped up the noodles and glared at the girl beside me. I said nothing and continued to take another bite. “Oh c’mon Seungmin, I didn’t force you to come out here, you did so yourself.” 

“You made me feel guilty.” I mentioned. She shrugged at my accusation. 

“Oops?” She took a bite of her ramen and groaned happily. “I love ramen, more than cherry blossoms probably. But I think I prefer morning to night, what about you?” I shrugged. 

“I guess I’ve never thought about that...” I trailed off, but not setting down my chopsticks to think.

“Wow you really are how everyone said you were.” At those words, I set down my chopsticks and stared at her, trying to ignore the way her lips were now bright red and her hair was ruffled in her hoodie. 

“Whatever. I’m having fun.” I said, picking my chop sticks up again and taking a big slurp. I heard her giggle next to me. 

“Fine. I’m having fun too.” I heard her take an even bigger gulp next to me, making me cringe. 

“I’m having more fun.” I picked up my bowl to slurp it up, hoping none would spill on me. 

“I’m having the most fun!” She picked up her bowl and chugged the thing, setting it down so only a little was left. She licked her lips and smiled at me. “And that’s how it’s done.” She chuckled. Impulsively, my eyes flickered to her lips. She cocked a brow cheekily. “What are you looking at, pretty boy?” My cheeks turn a bright red, but I grew confused when she stood up. 

“Where’re you going?” I asked out of impulse. Once her expression turned cheeky, I felt my cheeks blush. 

“Just to the river silly, follow me when you’re done.” I watched as me carefully tried to keep her sweater on and body on land while dipping her toes in the water. The street lights lit our surroundings just barely and the rest of the world just seemed so big in comparison to us. 

I set down my chopsticks and picked up my camera. I slowly stood from the table, careful not to make any noise and aimed my camera at her. The camera made a loud clicking noise, so I took a few just in case I would never get this moment again. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” She had a demanding tone in her voice and was slowly stopping over to me. 

I held my hands up in surrender, yet she pouted since I was laughing. “Hey now, I can’t help but take pictures of pretty things.” I heard her lightly gasp which made me laugh, until I felt cold water hit my leg.

“Maybe instead of taking pictures of everything, you just need to enjoy these memories instead.” 

She ran back into the river, her light laugh filling the loud silence of the night sky. I saw her twirl underneath the stars, right where the lighting was perfect. I raised to take a picture of the romantic and brightly lit picture.

I shook my head and set the camera down on my chest. 

No, sometimes we all just have to 

Click Pause.

[mellowmoonballoon]

P5 of the Primer - HAN

Info: I tried to add twice now some extra info in Changbin’s primer and the edit just wouldn’t stick. Maybe there are just too many pics who knows.

Disclaimer: I love Han SO MUCH. SO MUCH. That I can’t talk about him? So this will either be really short. Or. My feels will start spilling and it’ll last forever.

I would let him murder me.

He is yet another guy who is one of the best rappers of his generation in this band. (He likes melodic rap. In his own songs he also likes auto tune way too much but luckily Bang Chan makes him rap without it lol.) But he is also an incredible singer and can go high. Like... HIGH.

The first song they ever made as SKZ was Hellevator on the survival show and apparently Bang Chan wrote it a little too high (female key)... and none of the singers wanted it, so BC was like “Han?” and Han said yes.

And JYP was like “this is very high how the hell?” and BC said “that’s interesting” and wrote District 9 even higher.

He also writes lyrics, like Changbin. He is famous for his freestyle and his shitty memory so when people are amazed at how quickly he writes the lyrics, it’s learned behavior :P

He famously forgets lyrics, dance moves and... where the hell he’s supposed to be on stage.

2 scenes related to this: 1. During the survival show he is writing with Changbin and he improvises something and Changbin is like “write it down quickly” because clearly he KNOWS.

2. They had to write a rap for monthly evaluation and the procrastinator that is Han just ... didn’t. So he freestyled it. But because he was nervous he wasn’t looking at the camera so they told him he had to do it again. and lol he couldn’t... but he faked it :D they did notice but somehow he lived. :D

In this same video Han talks about how he heard Changbin’s voice before their rap battle and he was worried so he crushed baby Changbin with no mercy. And in 2kids room with Felix he talks about how he used to be jealous of his deep voice bcs he always wanted a deep voice and he used to force his voice down which damaged his throat. :(

He is absolutely hilarious and it’s such an in the moment and well timed thing that i find that most compilations don’t do it justice so just... trust me.

Wait I found an example! Thank you Han G Close:

He is also the warmest person. I’m not going back to handholding pics but he was the one who held Minho’s hand during the rap. He was the first to walk up to Minho when he got eliminated. The first to hug Felix when he was eliminated. The first to hug Bang Chan when BC was having a cry because he was so happy he had them all. He also broke down and cried himself for 8 minutes straight when they won their first award - and was in turn hugged by everyone.

I mean everyone was happy crying but Jisung (hey fun fact, his full name is Han Jisung and I switch between them like a swing) had a little breakdown. His attitude toward work is basically that if he stops, he’ll sink. He’s always hungry for more and he’s worried that if he takes a break he’ll fall behind. This is a really high pressure mentality to have when you’re also a procrastinator so, I’m assuming things get rough sometimes. 

Also, his parents sent him to school in Malaysia once upon a time. He was there for a while and seemed to not hate it, but he wanted to try his hand at becoming a musician. So he went to Korea to pass some tests, which he did, and he made a deal with his parents that he’d have a year and if he didn’t debut, he’d go back and continue his education. Well, they debuted, but I’m guessing this was a first recognition of their success on such a level.

Storytime, he didn’t think he was good enough for JYP Entertainment so a friend dragged him to the audition and he was very chill because he basically assumed he’d fail. When your low self-esteem plays you! Spoiler, he didn’t fail.

Aside from self-esteem issues he has actual anxiety. So, being around a lot of people can be not good for him. It’s why he sometimes doesn’t participate in social events that aren’t that important, why he had to leave a fanmeet early once etc. And it’s why his manager tends to stick close to him when they walk through airports with fans and reporters there. Bang Chan talked about how they know he’s dealing with this and are there to help him and are all kinda tackling it together.

He has talked about how on stage, the members and fans lift his energy and you can really see that his on stage persona is so free and confident <3

Anyway. Han likes hugs and kisses.

Re: I.N

Re: Felix

(no makeup han is just... a softer version of makeup han)

Seungmin

You get the point.

He is also a bit of a slob and in his own words, “doesn’t like moving”. He did in fact throw a wallet at Seungmin for daring to ask him to clean one day.

he has since apologized :D

I am ready to tackle Han and Minho.

Let’s start with this whole conversation:

Han: Could you please not touch my butt, Hyunjin? Minho: *grabs Han's butt* This is mine Han: Don't claim your ownership over my but please, sir. Minho: Only I can touch it. Han: No, my butt is mine. Minho: You always touch mine too. Han: No I don't! Minho: After I take a shower, you always touch it.

Han’s “you got me there” face:

Hyunjin: Honestly though, after a shower, Han does smack it once.

This. Fucking. Thing.

And also Han doing a solo and Changbin exposing Minho:

Whatever this was supposed to be (note, Han is shorter than Minho, he’s just being held up romantic stylez):

Mo:

This expression on Minho’s face specifically:

10 solid minutes of this:

And yes, Minho’s legs ARE wrapped around his waist thank you for asking.

It was like that from the start tho.

Ok ok I’m done with that.

Anyway Han’s cheeks are a blessing and he stuffs them with food for our entertainment and I love him for it.

Was born one whole day before Felix and together they make the Sunshine Twins:

In conclusion Han is ... incredible rapper, singer and writer, best friend, funny as heck, amazing cuddler, deserves all the hugs.

This also concludes the 3racha members: Chan, Changbin and Han.

So it seems like a good time to drop some 3racha is a gift gifs.

Bang Chan - Minho - Changbin - Hyunjin - Han - Felix and Felix2 - Seungmin - Jeongin

[this-is-a-love-story-isnt-it]

Hello everyone!

I’m getting so many comments and anons about Téa not going to the Unicef Snowflake Ball, that I thought I’d just address them all in one post.

I don’t mind the asks and comments, btw, but I’m getting lots of them with various theories so I thought is would be easier to address them in one post.

Yes, it’s super weird that Téa didn’t go because as far as I know she goes every year.

But to address all of your concerns...

1. Téa and Tim did NOT break up! Their relationship seems so solid and they’ve been together for over 3 years and they are both still wearing the jewelry that has significance in their relationship. So don’t worry.

2. If Tim and Téa did break up, I don’t think that would be a reason for her not to go. As far as I know she has gone without a date before. I’m sure no matter how devastated she’d be, she could handle a few hours at an event for a charity she has a major part in. If people asked where he was, she could just say he was working late or had prior commitments. But don’t worry- they’re still together and going strong.

3. Someone said there was an event at West’s school that Téa went to, and then another person said that they go to the same school and they are on break, and then another person asked where West goes to school and the answer is that I don’t know and I don’t think we should be trying to find out.

4. Téa must have known ahead of time that she couldn’t go because she had Lucy Meyer (who won the humanitarian award) come spend time with Téa on set yesterday.

5. I’m sure Téa is fine, I’m sure she had a good reason why she couldn’t go.

6. Yes, we’re all disappointed af at not having new pics of Téa and Tim together.