#could u DM or send an ask off anon?

[gnczhanna]

from one skater to another, have you heard the rumours about T.V.S? (of course no need to answer this if that crossing a privacy boundry ahhh) srry jaz!!!

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

[disgustinggf]

Hey so in a couple of days I’ll have a date with this absolutely gorgeous man and I want to look perfect for him. I’m not that great when it comes to put make up on so I was wondering if you can give me a list on how to apply all of the stuff in the right order and in the right way? Where do I put all of that stuff on my face so that it doesn’t turn out cakey oder messy? Sorry I don’t have that kind of friends I could ask and there’s just too much info on google. Thank you love! x

hi anon i only ever wear eyeliner bc i get my brows laminated nd i have false lashes so i never rly learned to do anything else so i sadly can't be much help :/

[bitesized-pup]

INTRO POST

you can call me mutt!! I use he/it pronouns, and I’m a trans guy new to the kink scene. looking to meet other kinky people, maybe make some friends, and have some fun!!

I am a trans MAN (lesbians/straight men don't hmu), gay and polyamorous!!

I will usually be the 📻 anon if available!! Pretty shameless tho so most times I'm off anon

I’m a 5’7 pre-anything trans guy! very slim build, always been underweight n trying to gain more weight (maybe u could help with that..,,). Got a good amount of hair on my body, something I’m very proud of!! You can refer to my parts as my chest and my cock/puppy cunt/boy cunt!!

my content will mostly be

petplay

primal play

praise

breeding

feeding (more wholesome stuff that anything hardcore)

scent / musk kink

watersports (mainly omorashi)

dubcon / cnc

humiliation

sub posting (tho I will occasionally dom post)

filthy fantasies

interactions with followers

occasional horny art

DNI if you’re an pedo/ageplay/beastiality/detrans blog!!

WHAT YOU CAN SEND ME

Questions about myself (sfw or nsfw, I will not give any personal info tho!)

Fantasies of yours

Add ons to posts of mine

Flirting / praise / degradation / etc

CNC scenarios

WHAT YOU CANNOT SEND ME (depending on severity I will block you)

Nudes

Anyone exclusively attracted to women, do not message me with sexual intent!

Requests to see my nudes

Anything to do with butt stuff, feet, shit, or vomit!

ask box and dms are always open! feel free to stop by n shoot me a message, just know I have a partner!!

[wigglybunfish]

hi as a tibetan your art makes me so happy haha. thanks for taking the time to research our culture c: also if you don't mind me asking, how did chime get her scars? are they battle wounds?

hi anon!

oh holy bananapants I'm so honored??? Ever since I've started working on this story, besides the "heeheehoohoo yay indigenous ppl are so fuckin cool" dopamine injection, I've also been nervous thinking about "hey but what if I fuckup an aspect somehow without realizing it". It's a tricky trail to tread, so getting direct validation from a tibetan is as heartening as you think it is *screams into paper bag*

Researching your culture is super fun! I could look at pictures of different kinds of braids and clothing all day... and reading about all the tribes and their respective regions. (this article on hair is one of my favs)

On to the scar lore:

Chime gets her scar in an accident. She and one of her dads were on the run & taking cover from the war (same one that causes the nuclear winter). During all the chaos, they get cut off from each other by stray debris flung from the war zone. She tumbles down a tiny cliff and scrapes her cheek pretty bad. It is healed into a scar after she's rescued to a monastery.

(It would be cool if she gets it from a battle though... alas my girl is a baby teen at the time and only receives martial arts training after becoming a nun)

She also has a smaller, more subtle scar besides the one on her cheek. It's a cut through her left brow, which she's had since childhood.

that's pretty much the scar lore i have to offer at this time.

btw If you're comfortable in doing so, please poke me hard (read: send another ask or DM if you're up for it) when you spot anything and all things tibetan that's inaccurate! I try to get things right as much as possible, but I do get most of my info from online articles, movies, books, and videos by tibetan youtubers. I am but a taiwanese suburban kid that hasn't yet met a tibetan person physically + have a conversation with them, despite my efforts lol

mistakes are prone to happen, and I thirst for authentic lore as much as knowledge :)c

here's a baby chime. she's a bit scruffy hope u don't mind

[withpeopleinperson]

11, 12, and 20 for "i choose you and me, religiously" please? it's one of my favs!

omg hi thank u for asking me these!!!!! I love talking about my fics and I especially love when ppl send dms or asks about them off anon because it’s nice to know that real actual people are reading my things !

11. Was there a scene that you hadn't originally planned to include? Why did you decide to fit it in?

yes!! so i had the entire thing meticulously planned out and the sick regina scene wasn’t supposed to be in it! neither was the one where they sleep apart and call each other! then a million little things within the fic that originally weren’t planned either (the johnny cash quote, the . i think the main motivator in including them or fitting them in was just that it was so Them that the moment it popped into my head i had to put them in that fic instead of the long document of scene/dialogue/action ideas!

12. Was there a scene you wished you could have included? Why didn't it fit in?

oh my lanta YES! this fic has been in some stage of planning for nearly 3 years and I would chip away at it little by little with ideas and plans that never came to fruition. there was supposed to be a scene where they walk past a park and cady swings with regina and encourages her to heal her inner child, one where they fuck in a bathroom stall, one where they take a road trip and cady picks blue cotton candy bc the color is similar to reginas icy eyes

20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?

the typos & the lack of italics bc ao3 didn’t import them. hahaha im just joking but there are two typos that it won’t let me fix. but there’s so many little things i peppered in that i wish ppl would tell me they notice. callbacks to the beginning of the fic, full circle moments, the way gretchen and karen are nearly integral plot points without doing much at all. im gonna put some under the cut here for the people who want to notice them on a 2nd or 3rd read through

- the fic starts with cady bringing regina a coffee, near the end regina is the one making cadys coffee

- cady’s careful consideration of regina and her feelings. when she thinks she might offend regina about the spin class, she carefully shifts her wording. she always accepts a drink to make regina not feel self conscious about drinking more or too much. she shares things with regina in conversation when she’s worried regina is self conscious about opening up too much. cady is so attuned to the emotions and thoughts of the people around her

- and on that note. cady is the quiet leader of the relationship while regina makes every physical move. cady is always anticipating reginas thoughts and actions and feelings, always prepared to gently lead them towards the next steps even if she lets regina do all the leading

- reginas extensive shoe and bag collection. i had an entire pinterest board dedicated to her seasonal colors

- the book they read. the way they read it. it’s such a small detail and barely central to the plot but I love that part.

- the way they enmesh so well. it reminds me of a concept that’s been fairly pertinent in my life recently, the fact that you are a combination of all the people you have ever loved, and i think you can look at cady and regina in this fic and see what parts of each other they adopt into themselves. like regina getting water for her bedside table even when cady isn’t there

- i also love the way the proposal scene goes as a full circle moment. it calls back the parking lot being their place, the ring being the expensive thing regina wants to surprise her with in the johnny cash quote scene, the callback to fetchen’s wedding and how regina didn’t think she was cut out for marriage. ugh, it’s excellent.

that was just a lot of me blabbing about me own fic so please feel free to ignore haha

[aihoshiino]

okay so no idea how i should refer to myself as so: hi!! im the person who had way too much fun writing ai/nino toxic yuri on ao3! i was gonna just lurk (me, tumblr account with privated likes, reblogs and follows) BUT how could i with the promise of people being normal about fictional unhealthy gay women. idk if this is the optimal way to communicate i use tumblr with the sole purpose of following 4 people and digging up ai content

i am honestly so flattered (but also kinda upset at the lack of content on them aside from my own 1k word long oneshot please keep recommending if you find more stuff on them) that you enjoyed and recommended my fics considering i just straight up had no clue where i was going: okay so top priority i want them to kiss —> but also with how things are nino would probably lash out (read: bite) —> ai would be hesitant but also is so desperate that she’d still accept it happily —> this will fuel ninos idea of ai being the perfect, invincible idol —> and then i ran and tried not to trip with the rest

your translations of the side stories and blog was probably what helped me get in to oshi no ko again because even though i am still not over ai being dead i can now listen to someone talk about how great and tragic and sad and miserable she was along with all the other characters so thank you again!

also that ask for ai/nino toxic yuri visions was me lol, thanks for talking about my fic despite how short it was <3, i might de-anon myself at some point but rn im too shy for that

woof, this got a bit long. anyways love wins fr, if there was ever a day where i participate in an onk shipping war it’ll be on the side of them

LMFAO OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE JUMPSCARED YOU WITH YOUR OWN FIC 😭 WHAT A THING TO SEE ON YOUR OWN DASH....

that said it does make me so happy every time I hear people saying my relentless oshi no posting stands out to them to the degree that it does lol. I guess I'm in a similar place as you where, as happy as I am for it, it does make me a little sad that it feels like there's such little fan interest in lengthy meta and discussion on Ai herself outside of some really banal, surface level stuff. To a degree, I get that with other characters having so much more time on the page and having ongoing arcs to speculate about, but Ai is sooooooooo fascinating to me and it really drives me insane how often I see people make zero effort to engage with her arc beyond her utilitarian function in the story. It also really bums me out how often I see her get reduced to just a stepping stone in the arcs of other characters — even though the manga is literally shaking you right now and begging you to understand and empathize with her more than ever, I straight up see people cheering and crowing about Ruby 'surpassing' her or 'becoming the true Ai' as if this is a good thing and they are not completely fucking missing the point lmao.

ANYWAY!!!! That's enough grumping because the actual point of this response was to say: the Ai posting will continue until I am physically forced to stop!!!! I have so many thoughts about my wife constantly and if I do not share them I will explode!!!

(ps anon pspspspsp if you are ever feeling brave enough to unanon pls feel free to just send me your discord or your socmeds off tumblr if that is less intimidating for u.... honestly that goes for all my oshi no moots in general Please Talk With Me In DMs About My Wife)

[redbelles]

hi! thank u for your gifmaking tutorial! i wanted to ask if you (or other gifmakers that follow you or see this) were able to do a screenrecording of making a gif (screencapping process) sometime? you described everything really well & other tutorials did as well, but i feel like seeing it directly could be a huge help and make it seem less... intimidating for me. of course i understand if thats not possible

hi anon!

this is actually something i've done for friends, and in fact considered for my tutorial. i didn't end up including a full process video because the one i made for my friends clocked in at a whopping 3.03 gb, which is so far over tumblr's video size limit that it's actually a little stupid.

however! i think that now that i have the tutorial written and posted, i could probably trim that monster vid down enough to make uploading it here (or maybe on dropbox, the way i posted the coloring tutorials) feasible. i'm currently dealing with some very stupid real life nonsense, but this is definitely something i'm considering!

a couple questions for you/anyone who's interested, though: would you want this hypothetical walkthrough narrated? or would a silent video—in conjunction with the tutorial—be enough to help you feel less intimidated? additionally, would you want it to include coloring, or are you more concerned with the mechanics of getting screencaps loaded into photoshop?

feel free to send me another ask, or dm me off anon if you'd like!

[icemintfreeze]

the dms on here dont allow images iirc?? unless they do now i only use my acc as a burner, i COULD send it off anon butt id perfer the ask to be answered privately if u know how to do that (i deleted twitter i hate that stuoid fucking site LOL)

-fanart anon, lets just go with ✏️ anon

I can absolutely answer the ask privately, don’t worry :]

[soup-scope]

I def think its unfair to call ppl who dislike her or talk about her harmful actions misogynistic, I also think theres an aspect of misogyny to people who are downplaying her actions. shes cool! id love to see how her mind works and if she tries to justify what she did or knows it was a bad move

I did not say you’re misogynistic if you dislike Alexis. Where are you getting this from.

If you feel the need to hide behind anon whenever you say anything remotely negative to a creator, I think you should just. Not send an ask then. (I understand to an extent if they’re a huge creator or smth but I’m. Not. I don’t think ur at risk of harassment or smth. If anything if helps *ME* out cause then we could have this convo in the dms or smth. Instead of you putting words i haven’t said into *my* mouth. On *my* blog.)

Anyways the point of that paragraph is to say my dms are open if you ever want clarification on any of my viewpoints and that I think hiding behind anon on this blog is dumb cause only like two people pay attention to my opinions on here and even interact with my content when it isn’t art based.

Back to the point at hand.

I think I know what you’re referencing, and you’re taking it completely wrong and running off a cliff with a point I never made.

What I THINK you’re talking about. Is a comment I made saying smth along the lines of “I don’t hate Alexis as much as I could because she’s a woman.” And to explain that. That’s smth I always do with fictional women lmao.

And I also mention that the reason why I do that, is because in many fandom spaces (including redacted) many people tend to enter misogynistic zones when they hate female characters. You’re allowed to dislike female characters‼️‼️ but I’ve seen people get INCREDIBLY misogynistic with female characters they dislike. When their male counterparts have potentially done worse.

I’m very neutral about Alexis. I don’t care enough about vampires that aren’t Vincent Solaire or Alice Cullen.

You’re allowed to dislike Alexis and her actions. But if you do so while calling her a ‘bitch’ and so with even more vitriol than you’d show someone like Kody? Yeah imma look at u funny.

Every three months the redacted fandom discovers critical thinking and it’s sending me through the fucking roof.

If you have any more questions. I’ll either talk to u in my dms or on the comments of this post or smth. 😭😭

[hyunsvngs]

Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me but I was the anon who told you about my cnc changbin fic 😔

I remember telling you it was written and posted but couldn’t remember if I got a response from you or not so I looked on your blog to see. Nothing came up , not the asks nor did my anon tag show up either in the searches. I can’t scroll back because it was awhile ago and I got too busy to see if you responded to me about it and it’s too far to check if they’re actually still up there. I was wondering if maybe I did something wrong? If I did I really apologize for it, and I wanted to ask that if I did do something wrong could I DM you about it? It could also be some weird tumblr glitch that for some reason won’t let any of those asks pop up when I search them.

I also can’t remember if I tagged any of my asks that day, but I’m 🪽 anon.

Let me know!

- 🪽

HI FRIEND!!! u absolutely did not do anything wrong!!!!!

honestly my tumblr is kind of constantly busy with notifs etc (i’m on nearly 5k followers lol) so i ended up turning notifs off and im not sure if you dmed it to me? i didn’t see it if so?!?!?

if u can send it to me plsss i do definitely wanna read it but i’m not sure i saw it hejsjddnd

[max--phillips]

hi hello long time listener first time caller i'm trying to find a way to watch the og star wars movies without supporting the Big Cheese, i know that you totally DO NOT hve a drive with mando stuff, i was wondering if u DIDNT have the og movies too? or if not, if you knew of any places i could check?

no worries if not, i just figured you'd be a good first stop!! <3

Heyo! So, I don’t currently, but I 100% can. I think I have at least a few of them already downloaded, they’re just not in the folder lol BUT regardless, I’ll see what I can do when I get home, which should be in… probably 3, maybe 3.5 hours? Either way, pls send me an ask off anon or a DM, your choice, and I’ll give u the link that definitely doesn’t exist !!

[cripp-tid]

i deleted my old post because i felt it wasn't worded very well

hi. i am a moderately-to-severely disabled transmascfem DID system who physically cannot work. i am not on disability yet. i need help.

i know there's donation posts Everywhere on tumblr, but i would really, really appreciate if someone could send me even $1.

i dont know what to do anymore, and im desperate. im already looking into both donation subreddits and applying for disability, but it's slow goings.

please share if you can't donate 💙 thank u

$: $CameronLollar

Venm0: @Cameron-Lollar

PP: dm or send ask off anon. has my deadname on it.

[catgirl-yeji]

this shapeshifting vessel is a lie

hi and welcome to my corner of the internet. this blog is still under construction until I can add my about page ( did you know that you have to personally ask support to be allowed to use a page code with javascript in it? :)) well, you do now ) so beware of the construction tape!

I'm Autumn or Faon, I use they/them pronouns and I was born '95. ticked about all the boxes on the queer registration form and I'm currently in a queerplatonic poly relationship. central european & white. future linguistics & politics student, and plant parent. I really adore vampires and I write original and fan fiction, as well as poetry. I speak german and english, and I'm studying french, korean, japanese and finnish. lover of bats, snakes, horsies, deer and cats, as well as sharks. 🦈 I sometimes draw cat ears or fangs onto idols and actors ( see: my icon ), if you'd like me to make you an icon, drop me a DM.

my hyperfixations and interests change over time — yes, it was a phase, mom! name a constant state of being, mom! — and I change my username every two or so years. currently I'm really into the quantum leap spin-off, the motherland: fort salem show, and I'm watching a couple of k-dramas and such at the side. I play baldur's gate 3, stardew valley and control, but also 2064: read only memories.

I was very active in the shadowhunters and the dragon age fandom as well an 00q shipper. I will reblog every single gif of spirit - stallion of the cimarron, it's my childhood movie;; also, Jin Oshiro from STRAY (2019) deserved better, thank you for your attention.

you may know me as leafmiilk, taehdenveri, fliederfuchs or thetevinterelf — and most recently @catboy-jaebeom ! 🌺

tumblr veteran and survivor of the mishapocalypse. I've been renting this space ( occupying, maybe, rather? skjsdlkgs it's not like I pay rent ) since 2012, and trust me when I say: this website is a hellsite, but it's our hellsite, so, I'll stay until the last person switches off the lights, probably. >< a lot of other social media networks just never grew on me quite like tumblr.

I have two sideblogs worth noting: @splittergheist, my writing blog where I post short stories and poems irregularly, and my secret and private miscecanis / omegaverse blog ( a lot more interested in the world-building, concept and lifestyle than the smut, but no hate! ) that I may give out if you ask nicely and privately. also, if you're interested in some tumblr rp, you can message me as well, I have an OC blog for that. 🐰

that said, I tag my posts extensively, so if you need me to tag something, you can shoot me an ask and I'll try to tag specific things for you! please be nice in my inbox or I'll simply delete your ask and block you. 💛 oftentimes I'll message you privately when you send me an ask that doesn't seem like it should be answered publicly ( unless you've sent it on anon ofc ) and while I do answer tag games, I'm too anxious to tag ppl myself unless we're like super close, sorry ><

I track #faon.tagged. if you make ( especially kpop ) content you think I'd like ( itzy, got7, nct & wayv but especially ten, xiaojun and yuta, red velvet, shinee, svt but especially joshua, mingyu and dk, skz but especially hyujin and felix, but also others! ) you can use this tag, I'm always happy to reblog pretty gifs and support you guys, you're the backbone of our and any community.

relevant kpop stuff can be found under the cut, as well as some 'reviews' my lovely mutuals wrote for me ( if you like to leave a review, hit me up in my DMs! ) thank u, ily 💚🌼

and thank you everyone else for reading this, may your days be bright, I think we could all use that at the moment;; I'd super love new ppl to talk to ( pls have your age or an approximate in your bio! while I'm fine with talking to minors, I'd like to know beforehand if I do ), so message me!!

kpop stuff

ult group: got7

other groups I like: nct 127, itzy, wayv, shinee, red velvet, seventeen, oneus, ...

soloists I adore: xia / kim junsu, taemin, ...

biases: lim jaebeom & choi youngjae; nakamoto yuta & xiaojun; kang seulgi; hwang yeji & lee chaeryeong; joshua hong & lee seokmin; choi minho & lee taemin; kim leedo & lee seoho; park seonghwa & jeong yunho; kanemoto yoshi; ...

wreckers: mark tuan & kim yugyeom; ten lee; kim mingyu & lee woozi; kang yeosang & song mingi; shin ryujin; ...

for as long as xitter still exists, I can be found under jaebueomgi.

blog reviews

@meant-to-be-a-hero wrote on november 22nd:

Shall I compare Autumn's blog to a summer's day? I shall not, because I am not a hack. Equal parts language jokes, kpop boys (and girls, but I don't look at those) and #bitter millennial blogging, there's something for everyone here at Autumn's blog. They are also one of the few people who still write funky things in the tags, a true dying breed on Tumblr. I feel like I'm reviewing a restaurant or something. Either way, click follow, thank me later, because you will. It's a good blog, Bront.

— ★★★★★(★★) [ 7 out of 5 ]

@klutenpetter wrote on november 22nd:

It seems I have misplaced the URL of the blog in question that I was supposed to review.

— ★★★★★ [ 5 out of 5 ]

[sttoru]

hi anya.. i saw you talking abt being good at giving advice to ppl, so,, wld you mind giving me some advice..?

rant: i've been an anon for this person for a while and, not so long ago, i came out of anon to talk to them on priv, bcs they said they wouldn't be active anymore, and they told me i could talk to them on priv, if i wasn't uncomfy.

i did take up that offer, bcs i rlly wanted to keep in touch. but, they make 0 effort to talk to me. i'm always the one sending the first message. they never reach out first. and every conversation consists of like, 3 messages from each of us, talking about our lives, then we don't talk for months until i reach out again.

now, they announced they would be active again, and they're back to posting, but they just won't send me a message. i don't know if i'm being pushy and annoying by wishing they would talk to me. idk if i'm uninteresting, or if they're anxious or forgetful, or what.

it's just been very one-sided and instead of making us closer (like i thought it would) it feels like it's driving us apart. the last time we talked was in march. when i sent them a happy birthday message. i haven't send anything ever since. and neither did them (as always). i saw them as a friend, but i don't think they care about me at all.

anyway: what do i do?? do i try and talk to them about it? (what if they're just busy and i'm overthinking??) do i ignore them forever, just as they have been ignoring me? do i send them an ask instead and act like i've never been out of anon? help.

haiii anon! im glad you decided to reach out to me w this ^_^ thank u & i hope i can be of help with the following advice below ! (i actually typed more than i intended bcs it hit home hehdnsnsnd)

first of all; i applaud u for being brave & coming off anon to keep in touch with that person! a lot feel too uncomfy to do so even if they desperately want to keep in contact with someone, so i feel proud, if i can word it in that way ahsha

soooo let’s start;

if i read this correctly: when you actually begun to reach out privately to that person, you are always the first one that tries to strike up a conversation. you feel like they could be uninterested in you & don’t consider you a friend like you do.

i’m sorry to hear that— especially the ‘reaching out first part’, because it can be super uncomfortable and could understandably make you overly anxious (like thinking they aren’t interested, are ignoring you on purpose, don’t want you talking to them or they’re uncomfy talking to u etc etc. it can cause a lot of anxious thoughts. that i get & it can be extremely upsetting).

this is also a huuuge problem i’m struggling with. you are NOT pushy or annoying for wanting them to reach out to you out of their own initiative. i think every one who struggles with this can agree with me and guarantee you that.

why? because feeling like your friendship is one-sided is not how most work out. that’s how most friendships FALL out instead, like you had stated yours was at the end.

march is a long time ago. the fact that they are active & posting means they are on their socials & are checking their dms etc etc. to say that they’re forgetful is really doubtful, because march is MONTHS ago & i’m sure that if they cared about your friendship — they for sure would’ve thought of at least reaching out to you once in all those months (as harsh as that might sound).

but, they didn’t — it shows that this is indeed very one sided. of course, as a busy person myself i could look at the other side of the story as well: maybe they could be busy or they could be anxious about reaching out first too!

i know people who do, at least. but the difference is that those people i know (who are anxious of reachig out first) always make an effort to keep the conversation going once i msg them. they are interested, send me random stuff & the convos can go on and on without stopping for hours because they put effort into continuing the convo i started.

now that is considered two-sided to an extent as well. but reading that your convo’s are short & usually only 3 messages back and forth — i’m… feeling a bit iffy. if they were anxious about reaching out first, but were still interested in talking with you, they would at least make the effort to appreciate you starting the convo & continue it. so, i personally don’t think they’re forgetful or anxious.

that rules out any more possibilities to be honest. the moment you said that they havent ever reached out first made me already go ‘well…’ in my head. and its been months since you last talked. if they wanted to continue your friendship like you want, they would’ve put in the same effort as you (or at least tried once or twice to show their interest). judging by your explanation of the story, i don’t think they want to put effort in talking further with you.

which—is not your fault, maybe not even theirs. some friendships aren’t meant to work out. maybe they aren’t feeling it? maybe they don’t feel the ‘click’, you know? once again, not your fault at all! it happens to me every time — and it even happens to the best of us.

as someone who’s been in this situation for over ten times in different ‘failed’ friendships, i say let them go. maybe see where it leads you. i don’t think they will reach out to you first since march was the last time you talked without you taking the initiative, but just let it go. if they at least want to keep the convo or spark between you alive, they’d reach out themselves.

as anxious as one can be about reaching out first, if they desperately want to feel a connection between the other person, they would find a way to do it. like maybe a simple ‘hi’ in dms or indirect post on dash.

but it’s also valid that you want to continue what yall had. if you choose to want to reach out again; here’s a different & more positive solution / piece of advice:

send them one message filled with your worries and feelings about your situation. don’t make it too long (could be a bother to read, might make you seem a bit too desperate to them?) — but also maybe not too short.

this could be included;

• ask them how they’ve been lately.

• out your feelings about the situation briefly (abt reaching out first).

• simply ask for a clarification. don’t demand it! ask if they maybe would like to continue talking.

wait & check their response to that message and be critical! if they ignore completely, red flag. if they’re dismissing your feelings, red flag. if they say ‘i forgot’ or ‘i was busy’, understandable, but see if they actually make an effort to reach out to you afterwards. if not—stop putting in the effort and let go (saying this in the nicest way possible. it avoids any more heart break / anxiousness, i promise)

though, it may also be your last message to them if they say that they don’t feel the same (aka dont wanna continue talking), so maybe prepare yourself for that too.

anyhow! it’s ok if friendships don’t work out, once again, don’t blame yourself! it hurts, of course, but once you get through the heart break — there are many more possibilities for you to make friends out here.

remember, relationships are the most healthiest when there’s good communication between both parties.

xoxo

[cogbreath]

thank u for ur reply!! i always love ur insight :) n ive read the article before LMAO now that was a classic example of his pretty privilege working cus if he didn’t look the way he did, his behaviour would’ve raised eyebrows. but no…he was viewed as a quirky silly guy by his roommate LOLZ. makes me wonder if mohammed atta would be viewed the same way if he were white passing.

anon you fascinate me im very very intrigued by the fact u already know so much abt this... keep sending asks its soo rare that i actually do get to talk to someone who already knows this much abt this. Anyhow I would reason to bet he might have been viewed more sympathetically if that were the case, however, in any case he was arguably more reserved and stoic by comparison so i think even if he was, people would be maybe a bit more suspicous with him, especially cuz fitting in seemed to come more naturally to jarrah for various reasons... atta never seemed to want to fit in more than he needed to in order to stay under the radar. I know that atta and jarrah did also butt heads abt this to some degree, i know that atta was suspicious that jarrah might even give up on the whole thing cuz of how he kept backsliding. I also think a lot of writers can "see themselves" in jarrah while they really cant with atta, he's an unfamiliar personality imo, specifically bc most writers in the anglosphere come from a secular culturally christian perspective. I think they r sympathetic to him because they start to realise that this sort of stuff really is something that "just anyone" could find themselves getting roped into thru means of being radicalised. Meanwhile I think they view atta as someone who already was quite "radical" at least in their eyes. of course, this is just my experience, but I've had many of my muslim accquantinces comment on how its actually quite a shame that atta took the path he did, because they feel he was otherwise quite promising, and might have made a good scholar or something along those lines. So thats the other side of things if you will. I think I can agree with that perspective myself. Of course its important to not get too engulfed in that mindset, because you can't forget they made the choices they did.

But yeah, there are many things about atta that Ive read about that i find to have been equally quirky and silly of behaviors, but i find myself annoyed how writers (even terry mcdermott does it in his book, perfect soldiers. which is a bit disappointing bc hes a writer who i otherwise rlly enjoy the perspective of on this) dont seem to think that way and paint it to be something as flaws or show of bad character when really, personality and behavior quirks have little to do with his actions. Yknow what i mean of course. Demonizing behaviors that have nothing explicitly to do with being a terrorist. You are really fun anon, its fun for me to get to discuss this stuff, the psychology/characteristics/behavior of those involved with the hamburg cell. its fun when i get to discuss it with more than just my super close friends. sometimes i get nervous ppl might think im trying to be a sympathizer/idolizer but i think i make it more than clear its not the case though xP. its undeniable that its a pretty understudied and underdiscussed facet of 9/11. U see it for other crimes and criminals but not really ever on this side of the fence. I feel its a case of dehumanization borne from islamophobia. Easier to get ppl to feel hate when you paint the perpetrators as faceless monsters. If u ever wanna dm me off anon u are super free to. Also, if you have anything to share that is interesting like a video or article or anything like that, feel free to send it! even if i have seen it or read it before, i would be eager to discuss my thoughts and feelings on it.