#could i commission anyone to draw them for me? theoretically yes

[schwirrymartz]

"Man, I want to learn to draw so I could draw all these obviously very funny ideas I have," she says, draws eyes for five minutes and then does nothing at all

[thechekhov]

I was wondering if you draw weapons if commissioned ? I was looking and didn’t see it so I was wondering .

I suppose, if my commissions were open (they're not, I'm afraid, I'm very bogged down by other projects right now) I COULD theoretically draw weapons.

But given that, as you yourself said, I don't draw them often, it's perhaps fair to say I'm not particularly specialized for drawing weapons. It would be like going to a cake maker and asking them to cook you a roast. They COULD do it, but it would probably be a bit....sugary. Cartoony. Does that make sense?

So like, in theory, yes? But in practice, I'm not sure why anyone would want me to draw weapons.

[claraxbarton]

Oh hey!

A thing about John Winchester!!

Remember when Dean is sent back to save his Dad from joining the Scooby gang in s4e3 The Beginning.

Remember also how John is greeted by Townie #6 as Corporal and “good to have you back”?

Also, just putting this out here, but dear John was born in 1954.

Now, we all know how much SPN takes care to preserve continuity (script supervisor? Literally who is SHE???) but.

That makes John 19.

And sure, in Vietnam when you were drafted you served for 18-24 months (roughly). So theoretically John could have done his time and come home.

Except.

Except.

John Winchester was a Marine.

And the Marines? They didn’t take draftees. You had to volunteer for that shit. Which meant three years of service minimum.

Okay.

So now we know that.

Let me draw our attention back to John’s rank: that of Corporal. That’s the first Non-Commissioned Officer rank. Which means he led fire teams, was someone other people respected and listened to.

Typically it takes 26 months (today) to get promoted to corporal. Which... we’ve already established John didn’t serve that long. So either he got a battlefield promotion (discontinued after Vietnam but totally still in effect during) or he got it as a kind of honorary pat on the ass when he was discharged. Which... questionable.

See those medals and badges?

Let me tell you a bit about them.

First off we have our Rifle Expert. This means John was THE SHIT with a rifle. This is the highest marksman you can achieve wjth a rifle, and John was a marine- not to be all “this branch is better” (after all my grandfather was a Green Beret so fuck the Marines is what I’m saying) but the Marines in general are THE SHIT with rifles during Vietnam. So good job Johnnie.

Then we have this random friend- if any of you know what the fuck she is, please share.

Because MY research suggests that she’s some weird version of the Pathfinder Badge.

Which is a thing you get for completing ARMY Pathfinder School at Fort Benning (this is a big deal, it means you’re a badass who is cool to leap out of shit and save the day- think Sam Wilson but he was Air Force so just... paratrooper badass okay? Not as badass as Ranger School, okay? But like... more badass than basic.

So notice I said Army Pathfinder School.

It’s okay. You could be from any branch and complete that kind of training. Pathfinder school takes 3 weeks. So not a huge amount of time but. Let’s just keep that in mind.

Add that to the basic training for the USMC was 8 weeks (cut down from 11). Which together adds up to 11 weeks okay?

THEN AGAIN look what I found on ye olde Uncle Jeff’s website for sale.

Huh. Look at her. Not the same- literally I cannot find that enamel pin in the US military (and before you asked yeah I checked Canadian hardware but didn’t find a match either). But she exists and there’s no reason for Properties to make a fake enamel pin when they could run down the street to literally any military surplus store and get all the pins they need.

But if it IS this pin, okay so the Marine Pathfinders were- like the Army kind- the first in, last out kind. The scouted the territory.

That sounds fair and fine right?

Well the thing is, Marine Pathfinders were always part of Force Reconnaissance. Without going into too much detail... basically these dudes went in deep, found out all the shit needed to keep allies alive abs kill enemies dead and a lot of times did a lot of enemy dead actions themselves. They operated independently behind enemy lines.

Listen my dudes. Friends and foes.

John Winchester was 18/19, a Rifle Expert, a Corporal when he should have been a Private, a Pathfinder and in FORECON. I cannot stress enough... how mindblowingly scary this makes him?

This kind of scary.(if you haven’t seen Full Metal Jacket I cannot in good conscience recommend it. But if you want a character study of John Winchester you MUST watch that and Deer Hunter).

So now to those pretty pretty ribbons.

These are pretty standard but still worth explaining for anyone who hasn’t had to costume military period pieces before like I have.

First up we have our Bronze Medal.

So she’s been awarded since 44 (my dudes in no way is it appropriate to call them ladies- so of course I call them ladies). Given for engaging in action against a US enemy; engaged in military operations involving conflict with an opposing foreign force; serving with friendly forces engaged in an armed conflict against opposing forces when the US isn’t a belligerent.

Basically this means people shot at you and you shot back and no one can prove you shot the wrong people.

Look not to sound trite because it Is a medal and you DO earn that shit. 719,969 were given out during Vietnam (about 2.5 million soldiers served).

This means John was definitely in the combat zone and he definitely didn’t embarrass anyone.

Next up we have the Purple Heart.

(Scroll to the top to see her)

You get this when you are wounded or killed in combat.

Now we can ASSUME John didn’t die in combat- but please rec any fics you’ve got where he did.

I’m gonna skip that pretty maroon badge for just a minute now and go to the yellow dude: our Vietnam Service ribbon. I can’t add any more images so scroll back to the top to see it.

So yes, John served in Vietnam.

But

But

Now let’s look at that sexy maroon and blue ribbon okay?

Because this baby...

Well.

This is the Good Conduct Award

Do you know how you earn her in the Marine Corps?

“Three consecutive years of honorable and faithful service” are required to be eligible.

Which means Johnnie needs to be 21 (20 if he got in at 17) to earn this.

Unless

Of course

John Winchester was already pulling scams before the yellow-eyed demon ever came into the picture.

Anyone else have no difficulty imagining 16 John Winchester handing over fake papers to enlist in the Marines?

—

Then again... anyone else have no difficulty imagining the writers not actually thinking about it enough to do the math?

Either way, there’s some John Winchester stuff for you all to chew on.

Let me know what you think friends and foes!

[thepandalion]

So this one took a week and Im uploading immediately after I finished drawing it

So yknow how I drew myself and my anti-self a while back? Me and Feral? So the two of us had a chat that started with “what if, theoretically, we could fuse into one being”. The conversation ended with the start of this thing’s character design.

Before you ask, yeah, I’m aware the legs look kinda wrong and how the hair doesn’t have actual hair texture and how fingers probably shouldnt work like they do for the hand thats holding the fancy fireball thats actually just a bunch of magical smoke. Thats all on purpose - after all, this is a being of chaos at its highest power, of course we’d stop listening to how humanoids should look, right?

Anyways, at some point in the future I plan on making this thing a reference sheet because I am definitely commissioning people to draw it later on, its probably gonna become my new online persona, if only because of the design, which I will go into deeper details about now, if anyones interested

First things first, the shoes. Because what being has any percent of being me in it without my signature shoes that I designed in 8th grade by accident and am reclaiming lately. Changed the colors a bit, added more details to them, and now I’m working on making them into real, actual shoes I can wear irl, because I am a nerd with a need to cosplay as my art sometimes (which is why I have a lot of my art of myself having me wearing clothes I already own, though this piece was really just me going “whatever” on the design and disregarding what is probably doable in some places). The stars aren’t printed or stitched on, actually - those are custom buttons with thick thread stitching them on, so they’re definitively firmer than the fabric shoes. Yes, the fronts of the shoes have indents to look sorta like animal paws - that is actually the specific way I draw lion paws, btw. I also draw panda paws similarly, though those are a bit more blob-looking... my two favorite animals are my name, yes, what of it. Last detail in the shoes is how the soles have my initials! The one visible has the P on it, and the other has F on. Also, yes, winged shoes. that’s like one of the 3 things I kept from the original design, along with the black soles and the heart tip for the... oh, no, I forgot what its called. I’m tired and my brain is a mush of colors, but the bit in gold, that’s also in the original design (though, then it was actually white and only the edges were gold)

Next up I gotta talk about that jacket, mostly because it just sorta happened by accident. It was meant to be a plain black jacket with the map inside of it, but then I remembered my love for fluffy collars, and while drawing it I just happened to accidentally use the wrong texture brush on it by accident,,,, and one thing lead to another and now the edges look like they’re fading into leaves with stars and bubbles and other such stuff that’s probably gonna change at some point, though I do love the idea of the bubbles floating on the jacket constantly. Yes, the jacket is oversized, the sleeves are scrunched up but it gets really floaty, which is intentional because then you can see the map on the underside. Speaking of, I had a huge problem when I got to that part of the design because I needed a map of one of my worlds - and none of the universes I create are stable enough to be mapped out, so I had to pick one and make a map for it - I ended up going with Eternalion, which is a world where everything is just... floating islands full of monsters, and the issue is that the islands constantly move, so only their shape (and for some, the places they meet, because there’s a group of tiny islands that are always together, and the mainland has another country off-shore that’s connected via bridges, and two other continents that are always together because they both have the theme for being super easy to get lost in for eternity), so that’s another thing about this piece that’s bound to move around between drawings, since the islands move in the world, they’ll also move on the map.

The shirt is one I actually have, I wanted somewhat simple stuff. It’s also a direct callback to the pieces with me and Feral, because my jacket was green and tehir background was also in this same area. Other things I’ve taken from real life are the phone (yes I have a blue phone I love that fact way too much) and my glasses, though my frame is a bit more round, but I didn’t want it to cut into the eyes.

The belt is actually directly taken from my OC I had when I was 7, whose name was Laila MoonValley who was a half-cat, half-bat, half-human queen of reality... I really haven’t changed much since. But the buckle that’s just a half moon is definitely from the original design of my first ever OC, so, there’s a fun fact.

The wings are actually probably my signature thing every time I draw myself. White feathers with golden edges, I literally used to go by “Goldfeathers” in 8th grade, it was cringe and I’m kinda over it, but the entire thing with the wings is, again, based on real life, because why not. Except mine are purely feathered, but I figured, why not add a bit of dragon-looking wings, so the tips are sorta dragon/bat like. Because why not.

The tail is... I honestly don’t know, but Feral insisted so why not. The ears, once again callback to my old OC and her cat ears. The other ears, the ones that look like wings, are sorta based on Fae ears, but not really? Like, its supposed to look kinda like it but also definitively like wings, so idk, wings for ears is fun.

The hair doesn’t work like hair, but my hair does work like that - it reflects the sun and gathers dust and stuff like its made of plastic, so, I took that to an extreme. The fingers are actually just how I draw demon-looking fingers - or, used to, at least. it’s been a while since I’ve drawn any demonic beings, so, idk.

The orb! It has a galaxy in it, because why not, and is also once again direct callback to the two pieces with me and Feral holding orbs ourselves. Except for some reason I went “it’d be cool if there were birds inside this one”, though I dont think they’re very visible anymore.... The eyes are also direct callback to our pieces - the actual color bit is in my shade of green, with the tiny bit of gold from my eyes, too. The pure black thing is actually supposed to look like the eyes are just sockets and so are the black trails coming from them, and that’s also what it should have looked like on Feral, theoretically.

The halo is just leaning on the angel vibe with the wings, while also having some semblance to my crown... except on the opposite side :) And the fire-looking thing, it’s actually smoke/fog, and there’s feathers in there. It’s magic, I don’t know much about what it was beyond “it looks cool so we’re doing it”. Oops.

The glowing wisp things are just a purple version of the glowing wisps from my piece - the one that’s my pfp, where, if you look, the wisps also form the wing-like ears! It’s gone full circle... or whatever. It’s been two weeks, idk if it really counts as long enough to warrant that phrase.

Not much to say about the background, I just wanted a light source from behing bc the last two pieces had a light from the front and I just wanted to try something new (as though this entire piece wasn’t an entire experiment in and of itself... oof). That’s a sun right there if it wasn’t obvious. Also the handwriting I used for that “oh?” was. so fun to make up. Its a combination of my fancier handwriting, my signature’s font (”font”, I just add stars a lot and use my fancy handwriting everywhere else) and adding a bit of flare by connecting the question mark with the h. I’d have said I made it up on the spot, but the O had a star even in my sketch, so, idk, it was mostly improv in this one, just had a vague idea and it went out of my hands... and took like a week to be made, this was supposed to take less but I got carried away... ^^”

[sunflowerspectre]

Of Strange Brothers | Dungeons and Dragons Commission

This commission was for KiwiToast, of her original D&D characters.

Dungeons and Dragons

Original Character Commission

Summary:

A series of scenes shot throughout the Mistletoe Strangers Series focusing on Alagarthesis and Neronvain.

Requested Word Count: 2k - 5k

Final Word Count: 2026

Also on A03

Of Strange Brothers

Neronvain’s heart is beating wildly against his chest to the beat of the music inside of the castle. He has successfully glided through the many patrons of the ball, blending in seamlessly into the crowd. His pace has been quick, but even and steady as to not draw too much attention to himself. He would have gotten too many looks if he had just darted away or ran, especially if he was seen running away from the mistletoe where (despite being masked) the very recognizable Desire had been. 

He glances around often, a paranoia creeping up his spine. With no sign of anyone, nevertheless Desire, he rests against the balcony’s banister. An odd sensation of disappointment rises his chest. He swallows it down; it is better for both of them if she does not find him, right?

He really should stop listening to that womanizing, romantic brother of his, but how was he supposed to say no? When he saw her standing there under the mistletoe, just waiting, the very image of beauty, for the first time in a long time, he had found himself acting before thinking. Which is new, and more than a bit dangerous. 

“Sooo how was it?” 

Algatheris’ cheeky voice rings, causing Neronvain to curse. He turns to see a grin stretching out across his brother’s face, akin to a cat that ate the canary. His eyes are twinkling with an aura of happiness and giddiness, a stark contrast the sense of doom that has been settling around Neronvain.

“How was what?” 

Algatheris tsk’, “Don’t get coy with me, you kissed her, so tell me, how was it? Was it romantic? Deep? French?”

“It was a kiss,” Neronvain states simply, keeping his voice simple and to the point as he turns his back to his brother, “A kiss that I shouldn’t have let you sway me to do.”

Algatheris sputter, “Sway? Me? If you recall dear brother, I did not say a single word about kissing her. I simply told you that she was there. The kiss is all your making.”

Neronvain opens his mouth, an argument on the tip of his tongue before he swallows his words. He closes his mouth and focuses on the starlight that drips through the sky. The temptation of screaming in frustration growing, he lets out a huff. 

Algatheris pats him on the back sharply, taking the breath from his lungs, but rubs it in a comforting manner. He leans over beside him, his hand now draping around Neronvain’s shoulders to bring him in close.

“Do you regret it,” Algatheris asks, his voice dropping its usual aloofness.The somberness of his tone makes Neronvain pause. He looks to his brother, but Algatheris’ eyes are on the skyline with a wistful, knowing gleam to them. A smile graces Algatheris’ lips. Not the cheeky grin he gives when he knows he’s gotten away with something. It’s not the boastful grin of a man who won his trophy nor the teethy, flashy grin that he flashes to everyone who looks his way. It’s too somber. The grin you give when a grandmother holds your hand on her dying breath. It’s sincere, loving, but unsure of what’s going to happen next.

Neronvain is quiet for a moment. The silence covering them both as the music behind them begins to blur out of focus as their minds become preoccupied.

The kiss could have bad consequences. Neronvain can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if Desire finds out that it was him. She could get mad and even refuse to speak to him again. She could kick him out of their traveling party. She could steal his wallet out of revenge. Their kiss brings more cons than pros, yet...

He can still taste her on his lips. Her lips were a bit dry and he could tell exactly how much she had drank, but her lips were warm. Warm enough to light a fire that he is still trying to dwindle. 

“No, no I don’t.”

Algatheris’ grin stretches as he pats Neronvain on the shoulder, “Then that’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

Neronvain doesn’t answer him, wishing that it is as simply as that.

#####

Theoretically, the idea of watching them from the windows should have also meant that he could hear them. He couldn’t. He watches as Desire drinks - and drinks and drinks - with his brother. The dusting of pink on her cheeks when a hand grazes hers at the first drink. The words that seem to flow easily from her lips as his brother nods and listens. It isn’t as if Desire never talked to him; at times, she talked too much. It isn’t as if she never listened to; there are maybe five times he remembered where she did. But this is different. He can feel it.

Neronvain scrambles, a tad more ungracefully than any ‘prince’ should, away from the window as Desire quickly approaches the door. The idea of staying there, having her confront him, played only for a moment in his mind before his usual confidence falters just enough for him to make a dive for a hiding spot.

He watches as Desire leaves his brother’s abode, half drunk and dazed. She misses the step by the door and he twitches, almost going to help her, but why should he when Algatheris isn’t too far behind? When Algartheris is the one she goes to? When his brother is the one she spills all her concerns too? When apparently she’s oh so close to his brother?

Neronvain waits until she is gone before he approaches the door himself. His hand hovers over the door, but stops before it hits the wood as the door swings open. Algatheris leans against the door frame, casually, with a grin stretching across his face and a gleam in his eyes. 

“You need to learn how to hide better if you don’t want her to see you,” Algatheris comments.

His never-faltering grin only causes Neronvain’s bitterness to grow. It makes Algatheris seem as if he knew something that Neronvain didn’t, as if he knows everything. The sour sensation in his mouth made it harder to admit what he wants to say. Neronvain crosses his arms against his chest and other than a small twitch beginning to form at the corner of his lips, his face remained stoic.

“Why would I worry about her seeing me?”

“You tell me, you’re the one hiding.”

Algatheris watches his brother closely, a more calculating look in his eye. He knows his brother waited outside for quite a while, but he isn’t sure about how much he could really hear.

Neronvain scowls deeply like a pouting child, “I was not hiding.”

“Ah yes, because we all hide within the bushes for fun,” Algatheris laughs, “If you want to make amends, you are more than welcome to come in for a drink….”

His laughter dwindles off as he leans forward with a wink, “...But if you want my opinion, you should stop hiding and go after her before someone else does.”

Neronvain looks closely for any signs of what his brother really means by that statement; what exactly is he implying? Algatheris simply blinks innocently, as if he never implied anything at all, as he waits for a response. 

“I suppose I should make sure that she doesn’t get eaten on her way back to camp after all the drinks you gave her.”

There’s an accusing tone to his voice that Algatheris ignores, grinning, as he watches Neronvain finally depart after her. He can hear the way his brother continues to grumble under his breath, I was not hiding.

#########

It’s been too long since Algatheris has heard from his brother. He rereads the last letter he received, detailing a close call with an ambush on his party’s last trip. It doesn’t say much, other than it being too close for comfort and that it could have been prevented if he was paying attention. There’s a vague mention of Desire, something about her being stupid for almost getting killed. Something that, while worrying him, does make him smile. Neronvain has always had a strange way of showing he cared.

He hopes that rereading it will ease his fears, remind him that if Neronvain is well enough from that ‘close call’ to write a letter, then he is sure to be fine. He had already sent his best wishes, along with five feet of parchment reminding his brother to be careful. Maybe he never got a reply back, but it usually took a while for Neronvain to reply.

But it shouldn’t take this long. 

He wonders how bad Desire’s wounds are - if her almost getting killed meant something that could kill her later. He’s always liked her - she’s funny, makes interesting conversation, stirs up trouble, and makes his brother happy. She’s his friend. 

But she is much more than that to his brother. If something happened to her, if she passed due to her wounds, then he can imagine why Neronvain isn’t sending any letters. It would destroy his brother, as much as he would never admit it, if she got killed. He can’t even begin to imagine what his brother would do - well perhaps he could, but that thought process definitely doesn’t help his fears.

Months go by and each day, each hour, he gets more worried. 

He gets a letter the day before he’s ready to head out himself to find his brother; his duties be damned if his brother needs him. He already had a bag half-packed sitting in his bedroom and maps thrown about his desk as he decided on a route that would take him close to where his brother’s letter was sent from. But all those maps are tossed aside when he gets a letter with his name neatly written in his brother’s handwriting across the top of the parchment. 

His heart is about to beat out of his chest, unsure of what he is about to read. He likes to think it will be good news -  receiving this letter at all eases his worst fears. He takes a deep breath, not even bothering to sit down to read it. He carefully runs a thumb over the seal, noting the familiar wax seal of Desire’s horns. He swallows thickly, his stomach turning as he steadies his hands. 

The letter should be good news, yet this small detail. This little symbol of wax is making his stomach turn. Desire never really sends letters, not formally, and as such she doesn’t typically use her stamp (a stamp, he remembers, that Neronvain got for her). He vaguely recalls Neronvain being upset when he found out that it was shoved deep inside of her belongings, never to see the light of day unless she had to write formal letters - things like business, parties, and funerals. Using her stamp, but knowing his brother’s handwriting, worries him more than hearing no response.

He hesitantly breaks the seal and scans over the letter carefully. The more he reads, the more his worries turn into happiness, his face breaking out into a grin. 

“Son of a bitch,” he whispers under his breath.

There are a few paragraphs at the end that are also in her writing, her swirling and unsteady letters contrasting against the strict, calligraphy hand of Neronvain. Unlike Neronvain, she writes more casually and some of her words are scratched out and their corrections written in smaller writing above it. There’s a few careful words chosen, cautious phrases that new lovers use, as if they don’t want to scare the other off. A few little notes that Desire wrote, added in little letters with arrows at Neronvain’s paragraphs. Desire even signs her name next to Neronvain’s. 

He has to say, they really did a hell of a job getting their message across. His heart swells in his chest, happiness blooming for his brother. 

“They finally did it.”

Interested In A Commission?

[writingwordsanddrawingpictures]

2019 Resolutions - Update 3

It’s now the start of March and about time I updated you on how I’m doing with my resolutions so far.

1. Remember that even if my condition improves in any way, I’m not cured.

I keep getting acutely reminded of this, so there’s not been much of a chance of me forgetting. Yes, I have overdone it at points, but these points have been concerned with work when I’ve not been given much of an option about it...

2. Wake up, get up!

Still having some problems with this, but I have had some good days when I’ve been up and about early. Still very much work to do on this - hopefully the lighter mornings will help!

3. Make time for creativity.

Still not going as well as I’d hoped. I’m making slow progress on the 5 pictures for my celebration, although some of that has been a crash-course in how wings work and the best way to draw them (I blame you, @aeschknight!). Still got a lot more work to do on this, and hopefully getting on top of number 2 above will improve this.

4. Keep on top of my self-care.

Still need to do more work on this, particularly with making my beard / hair trimming a weekly thing. Still managing to take breaks when I need them, so that’s going okay, but I need to start building my walking back up again.

5. Following on from 3, seriously look into opening up for commissions (art)

As last month, I’m hoping that the 5 pieces I’m working on will give me both a good idea of how long commissions would take me and provide me with some good samples to help me market myself. Not much else I can say on this, other than to ask anyone reading this whether or not they’d theoretically be interested in commissions *if* I were to offer them - I do have a part-finished image of Kassandra (Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey) on here that you could check out to see if you like my drawing style.

Yeah, still waiting for this year to start properly and to get a chance to properly work on these resolutions. A month without any setbacks would be nice...

Anyway, enough about me and my (lack of) progress. How are you guys / gals / enby pals doing? This goes for all of you, my dear followers / mutuals, not just those of you I’ve tagged below, as I’d like to see you all grow and thrive as writers, artists and downright wonderful people in general.

@jessica-shouldbewriting, @imp-draws, @bookishdiplodocus, @fukusigma, @elaynab-writing, @cawolters , @therska, @kiramartinauthor, @goddessofnothingatall , @themerrywriter, @kira-desomma, @adie-dee

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: The King of Hell’s Kitchen

And we’re back! Last time, Matt beat the crap out of Fisk, unmasked in Josie’s, and declared himself the new Kingpin. We pick up a year later, with Ben explaining to an unseen companion at a diner just what’s been going on for the past twelve months. This is gonna be a long one, guys, sorry. (Bendis/Maleev, DD v2 #56-60.)

[Content Warning: There is a passing reference to Squirrel Hill, as in the Pittsburgh neighborhood - no connection to the recent tragedy there, as this comic is about 15 years old. I just didn’t want anyone blindsided.]

Basically, despite Matt unmasking in front of a room full of criminals, everyone is too terrified of him to actually admit that they saw his face, which means that he’s been able to keep up the double life game, even though fewer people than ever believe he’s not Daredevil anymore. This is all stuff Ben has gathered through hearsay, since Matt told him to stay away for his own protection and they haven’t spoken directly since before Josie’s.

Matt even had time to grow a horrible goatee!

It’s SO BAD, MATTHEW, WHY.

He also won his lawsuit against that one tabloid, meaning that currently, in the eyes of the court, Matt Murdock is not Daredevil. He donated the enormous amount of money he won to neighborhood charities. Please note this line: “See, Matt’s new girlfriend, Milla Donovan, actually works at the Hell’s Kitchen housing commission.” Just hold onto that for a minute.

Matt’s so popular, in fact, he’s approached to run for mayor!

“I am dizzy from you.” Wow, Franklin. WOW.

Not everyone is happy with Matt’s recent choices, though, as evidenced by an intervention from some of the local superheroes:

Do you think Luke got all the way to that fourth panel before realizing he was the only one here without an alliterative name and felt suddenly self-conscious? Do you think he had a split second of “Should I try to go by Carl Cage just for right now? Could I pull it off?”

Anyway one of the things I really love about Maleev’s art is the specificity of his...well, either photo referencing or just drawing from life. I could take you to the exact spot they’re standing in Bryant Park. (It’s a logical meeting place for this group, too, since it’s centrally located and walking distance from - but not inside - Hell’s Kitchen.)

Anyway, the others are pissed because Matt saying “Get out of Hell’s Kitchen!” to criminals just...made them do crime above 59th Street and below 34th, which was a pretty foregone conclusion. Matt’s unsympathetic:

Who wants to tell Matt that Hell’s Kitchen, Harlem, and the Village are all in Manhattan and his little plan here doesn’t make sense? Like, Matt and Luke covering neighborhoods while the other three, who can travel further and faster, cover the city as a whole, does make sense, but also “go do crime over there�� doesn’t stop crime. As Peter points out, while wearing a very strange facial expression.

But Matt ignores the warnings, and ignores the growing tension in Hell’s Kitchen, and then, just a few days before Ben’s telling this story, he and Milla are attacked by like a hundred Yakuza assassins. He sends Milla running for safety...and hasn’t been seen since. And that’s all Ben knows.

And that’s when we see who he’s been talking to:

I want to clarify that Ben’s explanation of the past year of events has taken two full issues. That’s like five bucks worth of comics that is Ben mansplaining Milla’s own recent history to her, including explaining to her what her job is. They should have killed 616 Ben instead, Jesus.

Also, Milla and Matt are married! Hey, how about that?! She goes on to explain to a stunned Ben (who, I guess, didn’t ask her any questions before he started talking for two entire months holy shit Ben what is wrong with you) that they got married about four months ago, and we later learn that Milla’s the one who proposed. So she proposed to a man she’d known for eight months, who is...sort of a crime boss? An anti-crime boss? Anyway, keep that in your pocket for a bit.

(I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about these two issues. Anyone who wants to hear me rant about decompression, the ask box is open.)

Uh, Milla, that’s not a compliment. You want Matt to be in love with you as a human being, not the abstract concept of you as a conglomeration of eight million people and island real estate.

Anyway, Matt told Milla that if anything went wrong, she should contact Ben. She and Ben are both baffled by this, so Ben goes to see the actual person most likely to know where Matt is:

Take the money and just make shit up, Fogy! Anyway my poor beautiful tired boy has no idea where Matt is, and is also rather wounded that Matt had a contingency plan in place for Milla but a) not for Foggy and b) didn’t tell Foggy about it. Especially since the Yakuza are out in full force and Foggy has been sleeping in his office because he can’t safely leave it.

My heart. Foggy has never really gotten to grieve on page for Karen, given that he was in jail for her funeral, but he knew her as long as Matt did (technically slightly longer) and he loved her too.

Ben tracks Matt to the Night Nurse (who, remember, is not Claire Temple in the comics) and floats a new theory by him:

I’m very sorry Matt but i can’t take you seriously with that facial hair.

Matt stops crying long enough to deny it, but by now Ben knows he’s right:

I’m...pretty sure this is the first time someone has seriously said: “Matt, your behaviors are unhealthy and I’m concerned about your mental health.” And, like, itemized them (including explicitly saying that flaking on Foggy and leaving him in these crisis situations is cruel!). People have said “you’re crazy” or “you’re being a jerk” but it’s always been said in anger. This is uncompromising but compassionate. This is “a terrible thing happened to you and I know that you’re still in pain.” No wonder Matt cries.

And Matt’s not the only one who’s listening:

Wow, Foggy has a good memory. And the face of a man who is contextualizing the past few years of his life and doesn’t like what he sees.

(A+ for the frazzle of of hat hair, Maleev.)

Matt goes to a safehouse. Foggy goes...somewhere undetermined. A spa? Everyone gets naked:

No, seriously, I have no idea why everyone needed to be SO NAKED in this scene (although I’m not complaining). Anyway please enjoy FOGGY’S TATTOO (WHAT???) and also Matt calling him both “Franklin” and “good boy” in a single page.

If you want to, like, read the actual words and pay attention to plot, I GUESS, Matt promises to deal with the Yakuza situation. Foggy’s still not happy:

YES I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD, IT’S IMPORTANT. Text if you can’t embiggen:

Matt: Are you breaking up with me?

Foggy: I don’t think you’ll let me.

Matt: I need you, Foggy. I’ll fix this. I’ll make it right.

Foggy: Yeah, okay. So just do what you have to do.

Matt: I need you to bring me something to wear.

Foggy: Something red?

Matt: It’s red?

Foggy: What?

Matt: I thought it was yellow.

Foggy: ...Are you serious?

Matt: No.

Foggy: That was pretty funny.

IT IS A VERY GOOD AND IMPORTANT EXCHANGE and it is only slightly marred by Milla draped in silent nakedness over Matt the whole time because...of reasons? Ugh.

Matt goes to get backup and finds himself being dragged for like the third time in 24 hours:

Haha! Pregnant women! So hysterical about being lied to by their friends and employers who they are risking their lives for! Hormones, fellas, amirite???! LOL.

(Seriously, fuck this shit.)

Anyway. Main Yakuza Dude Whose Name I Forget is still pretty confident about moving on Hell’s Kitchen now that Matt’s out of the picture:

Oh man, sorry about your life, Main Yakuza Dude!

“Are you guys sure you want me to do this pose? It feels more ‘boy band’ than ‘badass.’“

“Yeah, Luke, definitely!"

“Yeah? I don’t know, I kind of feel like...”

“No, dude, it works, it looks totally cool, I promise!”

They beat up the Yakuza. Meanwhile, Foggy joins Milla at the safehouse:

Why is Milla still in her underwear???????????????? #cancelmen

When Matt returns to the safehouse after defeating the Yakuza, Foggy is gone, and Milla is finally dressed...and very unhappy. She tells him what Foggy told her:

Here are the things that jump out at me about this page:

1. Milla says “this Karen Page person,” which implies that she has rarely or never heard Karen mentioned before. Considering that Matt (and Foggy!) knew Karen for, as Ben pointed out, almost all of his adult life, and that she was intrinsically tied not just to Matt (and Foggy!) but Daredevil and Nelson and Murdock, this is stunning. How do you spend a year with your wife and almost never mention someone you were intimately close to for at least a decade? I know Matt is secretive by nature, but this makes me think that Matt and Milla essentially never had any real or deep communication. Which, honestly, checks out.

2. We don’t see the conversation between Milla and Foggy. Theoretically, he could have said “LOLOLOL MATT NEVER LOVED YOU HE STILL LOVES MY DEAD FRIEND SUCK IT” but that seems...out of character, to say the least. I suspect, given how confused and distressed Milla is, that he said something more like “I think the reason Matt is acting like this is because he is still processing his trauma over the death of someone he loved very much.” Which shouldn’t be a surprise to Milla, considering that one of the very first things Matt told her was “Two women I loved have been murdered.” But apparently this is a great betrayal somehow??? Because:

And this is why I just can’t with Milla. So much of what doesn’t work with her character, like the thin personality and the helplessness and the fact that she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON, is because of sexist writing and drawing, and I’m not laying that at her feet. And I’ll be the first person to declare that Matt Murdock is a shitty boyfriend/partner and has been to literally every single woman he’s dated.

But the compassionate response to “the person I love is having a nervous breakdown because he lost someone he cared about” is not to scream “SHUT UP!!!” and accuse him of lying. I’m not married but I’m preeeeeetty sure the vows don’t include “I swear that I definitely never loved anyone else and if I did, I don’t love them anymore.” Matt broke no promises here (for once!) and, as I’ve said before, Milla went on two highly dangerous dates with Matt Murdock and then he declared himself Kingpin and then she proposed. She had all the evidence she needed that life with Matt is dangerous, bizarre, and full of ethical pitfalls and the ghosts of murdered girlfriends, and as an educated, intelligent adult woman in charge of her own business, she decided to sign up. This one is absolutely not on Matt and it pisses me off that it’s treated like it is.

Anyway. *breathes*

Next up: Black Widow returns!

[argonapricot]

all of them!!!

shovelthefries said: ball of them

Femme or butch? I’m really kind of in the middle! Recently I’ve been aspiring to be more femme

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it. Ummm I like... pretty eyes, pretty hair, nice and charismatic and creative, older girls are fun, musical girls are fun...

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? Honestly I WISH I wore leather jackets all the time, leather jackets are hot and badass and dressing up as Molly was immensely fun, but my current status is probably plaid button-up gay Aspiring to leather jacket gay

Describe your styleA one-stop ticket to SCRUFFSVILLEjk um really-scruffy-black-sneakers-with-holes + jeans/baggy shorts that sometimes make me really self conscious + mostly-pretty-plain t-shirts/a couple tank tops + my bra straps slip like all the time + the one ring necklace + mostly-but-not-always-scruffy shortish hairRemember when I was going to look super edgy and badass my whole senior year, that would’ve been Awesome

Describe your aestheticTired, comfortable lesbian who’s ready to Walk Places and Draw Things and Play Some God Damn Viola

Favorite article of clothing?My urinegood company shirt from Urinetown, obviously

Favorite pair of shoes?I own three pairs of shoes and one of my sandals has vanished so now it’s two and a half pairs of shoes. Uh. My sneakers are the. ones that I wear.

Current haircut?I’ve been procrastinating on getting it cut since the summer started! I think of it as “dandelion mane” but it’s really really not as exciting as that sounds

Any haircut goals for the future?FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK yeah I’m gonna go back to Classy Bob!Julia hair before the semester but I miiiight let it keep growing out until then

Describe the best date you’ve been onI’ve had a lot of lovely dates!

Describe the worst date you’ve been onI can’t think of one!

Single? Taken?Massively single and untaken

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!I know it makes sense for all of these gay ask meme things to ask about actual romance but uh I’m running out of ways to express that I am tragically single

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?Likes me! Likes other things, that she is passionate about! Preferably some nerdy things in there! Is okay with cats! Will snuggle with me! Will kiss me! Maybe can play music with me? Or draw things with me? It would be nice if she wanted to do Shabbat and stuff with me.

Describe your dream weddingI really!!!! want to have a wedding!! I want to wear a wedding dress and maybe grow my hair out so I can do something pretty with it. I want there to be Jewish Things. And pretty music. And nice weather and pretty flowers and maybe outdoors? And my friends are there. And then cake! and dancing! Lots of dancing, and Chair Time

Do you want kids?I waver a lot but I think I’m on the yes side of that continuum?

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?A four-room apartment joint 

Favorite lesbian movie?It’s likely to be Disobedience if I EVER GET TO SEE IT troubled sigh

Favorite lesbian novel/story?Lesbian-cinderella made me really happy, other gay novels by that author have also made me really happy!

Favorite lesbian song?I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry, 5000%

Favorite lesbian musician?m y s e l f :o

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?Clarissa told me in seventh grade that there’s a stereotype that lesbians like hazelnut coffee, and to the extent that that stereotype is real, definitely that one

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?There was that great time Emma’s mom came into Emma’s room and introduced me to someone as “Emma’s friend julia” while I stood there trying to act like my bra was Definitely On 

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?She should trail her fingers across my lower back and murmur “elves” into my ear

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?The being-attracted-to-women part is pretty top notch

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?I’m very a cat person!

Turn ons?Lots!

Turn offs?Some!

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?I have never asked anyone out, but I feel like... technically I have never been asked out either? Just kind of confessed-to-and-sometimes-then-negotiated-with

What is your dream career?Drawing Nerd Stuff

Talk about your interests or hobbies!I like ELVES and also a bunch of other fictional characters and stories and things! I love consuming content about those characters, and sometimes also producing art about them! Languages are awesome, viola is awesome, drawing is awesome even if I don’t do it enough!

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?Umm I don’t know! There are two many attractive things. Help.

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?I swoon easily, I think it does take time to get really close. I love long-term.

Ever fallen for your best-friend?You could say that!

Ever fallen for a straight girl?I sure thought I had

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)Neutral!

Favorite comfort food?I have the capacity to be comforted by many foods. Bubble tea is one, nice warm soup is one, probably a bunch of pastries...

Coffee or tea?Historically coffee, but theoretically tea

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?None of the above

Do you have any pets?Two felines!

Early-riser or night-owl?I used to be both, but this past year I started demonstrating the capacity to sleep in! I love to... not be super depressed

What is your sign?Capricorn

Can you drive?You know what I actually pretty much can

Who was your first lesbian crush?Uzuki was the first crush that I was like, aware of and experiencing as a crush, and also the first serious one, but evidently my first lesbian crush was Lucy from fifth grade!

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?That would be 12!

At what age did you come out (if you have)?I started coming out days before my 13th birthday, and it’s been kind of a continual process as I meet new people ever since!

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?Always

Talk about how your day wentI went to therapy and cried about feeling inadequate, it was a partyI also made good progress on a commission, which is genuinely good and exciting

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the futureI would like to make friends, get a girlfriend, be good at school, be good at menial tasks, figure out what the hell i am doing with myself and what I am even aspiring to

Least favorite gay celebrity?I don’t know, I don’t think I’m invested in disliking any gay celebrities? But maybe I’m forgetting something