#could honestly listen to little kids tell me about stuff they're excited about all day

[kentucky-daisey]

today was okay

Was feeling overwhelmed at work (long to-do list, busy day tomorrow), so I went for a walk on my lunch break. Walked by a kid’s party and a little boy ran out, yelled “I have a pinwheel” while holding it up for me to see, blew on it so it spun, and then ran away.

It was a really long day, but that kid made the biggest difference.

Also, dude, totally awesome pinwheel!

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC interview

Thanks to @bloodmoonloveletter here, @mk-writes-stuff here, @illarian-rambling here, and @elsie-writes here!

Last did Wade here.

Doing Jazlyn now because I don't talk about her enough and I'd like to develop her character more!

Are you named after anyone?

“Nope. The one and only, girl. I'm just Jazlyn!”

When was the last time you cried?

“Oh, pfft! I don't cry. Maybe out of sheer boredom listening to Dr. Ass-ghar ramble on about her rules and how I'm not following them! Like, girl, I can't help that I have fire powers and lit something on fire! That would be like getting mad that Gabe got a little dirty. Oh, and her meetings are the wooorst. Yeah crying for my life in there.” [It was during Ewan's clarinet solo actually]

Do you have kids?

“Girl, what? I'm not even eighteen yet! Close... I'd love kids, honestly. A lot of them! I'd have so much fun with them!”

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

“Look, I know I come across as someone who uses sarcasm, but I'd rather just flat out say what I'm thinking. Why be like ‘wow that was so riveting’ when I could say, ‘this is the most boring crap I have ever seen in my entire life’? So much easier, no mental hoops. Besides, Ewan is the most oblivious to sarcasm I have ever seen.”

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

“Their confidence level. I can usually tell how someone feels about themselves based on how they stand. Posture is the key, but also what they're doing with their hands.”

What’s your eye colour?

“Brown. With some golden flecks when the light hits them right, according to Ewan.”

Scary movies or happy endings?

“Easy, scary movies. This question is stupid - they aren't opposites. However, nothing is more fun than a horror movie. Love getting the blood pumping. Yelling at the characters for being massive dummies is also the best. Horror is the most entertaining to watch with others. Ewan thank the Lord is also a horror enthusiast. We make a habit to have at least one or two horror movie nights a month.”

Any special talents?

“Oh, several. I am pretty athletic. Took cheerleading a while back and now I am on my high school basketball team. At first, I wasn't sure I would like basketball - my coach in middle school pulled me aside and recommended it due to my height, but I love it now. I am also getting pretty good at learning archery. Lighting the arrows on fire makes that more exciting. I am also pretty good at martial arts and my pyrokinesis. Working on breathing fire without burning my throat. Thank the Lord I have Wade to heal me so I can try again!”

Where were you born?

“I was born in flippin' Utah. I know--lily white state, you'd never guess. Ewan and I plan to move somewhere else once we can. Can you believe he was born in Alium? That ain't fair.”

Do you have any pets?

“Ewan and I plan to one day get a dog. We have been planning on moving in together for a while.”

What sort of sports do you play?

“Like I said, basketball. I would love to learn how to play this Alii fireball sport. It's very similar to basketball, but pyrokinetics pass around fire. That sounds like so much fun, man. Did you know they have to keep a healer at each game because not all pyrokinetics are immune to fire? And the audience can get hit too if they're not careful! This sounds like such a fun sport.”

How tall are you?

“I have finally passed six-foot-three. Alii heights are a blessing and a curse.”

What was your favourite subject in school?

“I hope you tell me PE counts as a subject cause I ain't saying anything else. School sucks, girl. I have gotten detention for the lamest reasons imaginable.”

What is your dream job?

“I would love to be in sales. Something about convincing people to do what I want is inticing. Planning on getting a marketing degree when I go to college next year.”

Tagging @leahnardo-da-veggie @eccaiia @mysticstarlightduck @monstrouswrites @mrbexwrites @gottestod-writes @willtheweaver @winterandwords @i-can-even-burn-salad @elizaellwrites @chauceryfairytales @somethingclevermahogony @faeriecinna + anyone else who wants to!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

Blanks below the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

^for an easy copy and paste

[shinobuscanonwife]

Helloooo! I was wondering if you could match me with a character. I saw something like this on another post and I wanted to try it with my favourite Tumblr writer! (Aka you) Basically I tell you how my personality,looks and stuff like that are and you tell me which kny character (preferably a demon, but I'm ok with getting matched with a slayer too, as long as they're not a minor!) you would think would be most likely to date me :)) So here's about me!

My name is Lucifer

Appearance: I'm 5'7, I have long dark brown hair and I'm not that skinny but I'd say I'm not chubby either. I'm a romantic goth so most of my clothing are really dark and gothic. I prefer wearing dresses and skirts rather than pants, but when I do wear pants I just wear black jeans, my eyes are a dark brown!

About me: I really love danger and horror, I watch horror movies almost all the time and get really excited while watching them. I am really into cuddles and when I get into a relationship I'm pretty clingy. I don't get scared easily. I'm bisexual with a preference for boys. My favourite kny characters are Muzan, Douma, Mitsuri, Inosuke and Enmu! My favourite hobbies are listening to music (specifically slipknot or heavy metal in general), reading crime books or horror books, dressing up, watching crime documentaries, going out to enjoy some fresh air, playing rhythm games and drawing!! :)) I'm an ambivert, so I love both staying home and going outside. My favourite weather is rainy weather with thunderstorms! (It excites me for some reason) My favourite animals are sharks and capybaras :) My favourite movies are Halloween, Scream (1996), Mean girls, Friday the 13th, The cult of chucky, The nightmare before Christmas and Jaws. I collect horror movie figures and I also love cosplaying! Usually the characters I cosplay are either vocaloids or villains from different animes! I loveeee slipknot, they're my favourite band and I'm literally on the top 0.5% slipknot listeners on Spotify, not even kidding. I am pretty energetic, I'm also autistic and may have ADHD (not sure, but I do have a lot of symptoms!) When I get really excited I jump a lot. I love jewellery and painting my nails and I'm really good at mathematics :) I'm kind of a germaphobe honestly. I do swimming as a sport and I've won 3 medals in races, but I stopped racing a while ago and just do swimming for fun now. I get cold really easily on winter 😭 My favourite holidays are Christmas and Halloween! That's it, I honestly can't think of more stuff to say about me heh

Hope you're having a wonderful day! This is my first request that isn't anonymous so I'm pretty nervous

Bro were literally the same person

I match you with.....

Muzan

He absolutely loves your personality. He enjoys reading horror books with you and he loves cuddling with you while it's thundering and listening to the rain and thunder. It relaxes him and finds how happy rain makes you cute. He lets you paint his nails sometimes and offered to paint yours. he made you promise you wouldn't tell anyone Muzan loves the fact that you're clingy. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenever you cling to him or when you offer to cuddle with him. He loves going on walks with you right after it stops raining. He loves buying you little gifts. Sometimes it's new skirts or clothes or sometimes it's flowers or drawing supplies or nail polish but he always buys you stuff whenever he's gone for a couple nights because of work. He had never really worried about holidays before but ever since he met you he loves spending Halloween and Christmas with you. He buys you the most expensive gifts on Christmas and makes sure you have an amazing time every year. He prefers staying inside during dates especially cause he can't go outside during the day.

Thank you for your request!! I've been waiting for someone to request something like this :0 have a nice day/night

[dr4kenlvr]

TOKYO REVENGERS + MUSICALLY-INCLINED S/O

pairing: ran haitani, mitsuya takashi, chifuyu matsuno, kokonoi hajime x gn!reader (separate)

genre: fluff

request(s): Hiiii I saw you respond to my request s/o in a band, sorry for not mentioning the fandom (I'm dumb) Tokyo revengers with ran haitani and any character of ur choice thank you!!

Hewwo it's me who requested s/o musician (classical would be nice) I forgot to mention the fandom, so Tokyo revengers 🖤⛓️ thank you, feel free to ignore tho. And your writing are amazing <3

a/n: hii im deciding to combine these two because they're quite similar! also im not a band kid nor do i play any instrument so i hope i did these two justice despite that <3 thanks for requesting :) + not proofread sorry ily

RAN:

this man is SOOO in love with your talent, he practically worships your abilities

ran's never really had the interest or time to play, so when he meets you he is completely blown away

he'll ask you to practice in front of him sometimes but you honestly feel a bit shy with those violet eyes holding eye contact with you the whole time

he'll wear a lazy smile, and clap after you're done to show how proud he is of you

"that's my baby."

if you have a talent show, or a performance going on, he will be there

"you ready for the fight, ran?" - rindou

"huh? but y/n's got a show in 20." - him

pls rindou getsso mad when he forgets to tell him about your shows LMAOOOO

he'll bring you a bouquet of your favourite flowers to gift you right after and wrap an arm around your waist

if you're in a band, he'll like to meet your other members too!

he knows it might be an iffy idea because he is ran haitani,, but he thinks that it'd be nice to get along with his s/o's friends too <3

nonetheless, he's not pushy about it and would respect your decision if you wanted to keep your love life and music life untangled (mainly due to the fact that ur bf's a criminal)

at night, he finds himself humming the melody to your band's songs, smiling to himself because he's got such a talented s/o

MITSUYA:

mitsuya is so excited to hear that you can play music !!

luna and mana are also really interested, because they haven't been around someone who plays <3

"takashi, can y/n play us something?" -his sisters constantly ask him to ask you, but once they warm up to you they'll be asking you all the time

mitsuya likes to listen to music, especially when he's coming up with new looks or sewing together a new piece

he insists you can practice in his room instead of downstairs because he enjoys the company + the music doesn't bother him

he's also one to let you practice when you have his full attention- he'll sit his sisters on his lap and clap when you finish

"that was amazing, as always love."

if you're in a band, he would love to go watch your guy's shows

he likes to film you during them too, and when you watch the videos back you can hear: "wow, y/n's so good takashi!" "yeah! they're so cool!" "i know guys, they're quite the diamond."

it makes your heart flutter every time, mitsuya and his sisters are like your own little fan club

when you meet him after, he'll always give you a sweet kiss on the forehead and congratulate you on a successful performance

if you're feeling unmotivated or down, he won't push you to work because he knows that if you're mentally not for it? it'll show in your work

he knows this from experience so he's there for you whenever you need him

CHIFUYU:

i can't even express how much chifuyu is in love because of the mere fact you play

like, he was already in love with you but now he finds out you're in a band? and you play music? bruh..

chifuyu is so so supportive of you, when you play near him he'll cheer so loudly LMAOOO

"WOOOO!! GO Y/N!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!"

and at your shows?? bruh.. someone shut this boy up (baji)

he's so giddy when you ask if you could show him a new piece you came up with

he won't ask you because he's sorta nervous?? even though you're the one playing not him

he sits and listens super attentively, and is stunned that you came up with such a beautiful piece

every note you played created a perfect harmony that had chifuyu staring at you with heart eyes

"so,, what do you think?"

"... woah."

when he's hanging out with baji or takemitchi, he'll keep them updated on your stuff

"oh yeah! they've got a gig next week, do you wanna come?"

"did i tell you that y/n has been practicing the violin recently? isn't that fucking cool."

baji and takemitchi are tired of his rambling, but not you so they come to attend your shows often as well <3

TAGLIST: @dai-tsukki-desu <3

[dreamiesdotcom]

careful (slow spin-off) | l.jn, n.jm

Summary: With Jaemin, things are just... a lot nicer. Lighter.

Word Count: 1.6k

"Hyuck, stop staring. Jaemin seems sweet and all, but he looks like he's ready to pick a fight," Mark groans then slouches at his chair.

Was he up making music again? Why is Mark so devoted to helping that guy? Jeno doesn't really understand.

He looks at Donghyuck, then to where he's staring at. He briefly recognizes Renjun and his friends, one of them with entwined fingers as Na Jaemin. That's the person Donghyuck has been staring at for the past fifteen minutes.

"Hyuck. Seriously, I don't think you even know his best friend's name."

"That lovely person right there, you see, is Y/N," Donghyuck proudly states. He scoffs, "Please, I don't go around flirting with strangers. "

Jeno returns a similar expression, momentarily bringing down his book. He tilts his head, "Well, have you ever hung out?"

He pauses, breathes one beat late, and then sighs. Mark sits up straight, steals a glance at the other side of the room, and then waits for Donghyuck's answer.

The sunkissed boy just shakes his head, "No."

There's just enough pause there, enough hesitance in his voice that he cannot be trusted. Instead of pointing that out, Jeno laughs, shrugs, and sets his eyes on his book. Whatever the hell it is that happened between pages 108 and 112, he doesn't understand at all.

Jeno tries to recall an old memory: he remembers being teamed up with Huang Renjun for a while because of a photography project. He remembers staying up late with the boy at a convenience store, editing pictures, and drowning in coffee.

They didn't talk much — the only time Renjun talked about something other than the task at hand was when he was pointing at the park across, and that brings him to the question; Why did Donghyuck lie?

"Let's just get out of here," Mark announces, drinking his coffee quickly.

Jeno absentmindedly collects his belongings as Hyuck blushes over whatever it is they heard that he didn't, and then stands up and heads for the door. He lets them walk first, then he watches for a while.

What is it exactly that brought him to this point?

"Careful..." were the words Mark drawled out to Jeno back then when they were much younger. Then, after that, he'd smile, "You look at Hyuck like you're about to fall. Careful, Lee Jeno."

But Jeno didn't need to hear that, not from Mark at least. He was responsible and rational, he thought things through before he dived deep — Mark does the same, but he's all blurs between safe and dangerous and the last thing Jeno needs is Mark telling him to be careful because the older's definition of careful is most people's careless. That was a piece of advice, though. Jeno should've listened.

Jeno didn't need Mark to tell him to watch himself before he falls, because he knows what's proper and what's not. It was out of his control that everything seemed right with Donghyuck.

###

What does blue taste like? Jeno read from that one time Mark's recent subject has left his notebook. He didn't mean to look at what doesn't belong to him, but the question has him curious enough.

The answer? It's something Jeno can't seem to get out of his mind.

What does blue taste like? Repeats the question. The answer comes in rough cursive, sloppy, and messy handwriting, as if the writer couldn't see through the emotions they felt as they scribbled out: For me, it's sometimes bitter, sort of sweet, and it's overwhelmingly strong. It's watching your friends fall in love with each other. It's falling in love with one of your best friends.

Sometimes it tastes like the orange juice you drink as you watch said best friend fall in love with somebody else, sour like the realization that it wasn't you he fell for when all you've done is crash to him.

And truthfully, the kid was weird, but he was adorable. He's tall, handsome, and he danced like he was born for it, so good that Jeno really wouldn't be surprised if he was, but he was shy and awkward and clumsy as well, far from the bubbly and confident people his best friend liked. He didn't see why Mark was so interested in this kid.

As he accidentally reads this page, however, he doesn't care for all of that. He just wonders how sweet smiles carry such heartaches, and maybe, he thinks of how similar they are .

He doesn't know what the hell it was that happened within those months his best friend — the one he's hopelessly in love with — shined brighter than the others, but right now he thinks he has a clue: playing the guitar side by side with Mark on Christmas Eve, watching Donghyuck kiss the love of his life under the mistletoe (which he manually holds above their heads) after singing that person a song he wrote for months. Jeno's pretty sure he doesn't need any context anymore. He just keeps on thinking about the excerpt he accidentally read from Park Jisung's notebook and then laughs along even if he doesn't understand anything going on.

He walks home that day without telling either Mark or Hyuck.

###

Na Jaemin was an occurrence that happened every now and then.

They were friends when they were younger, that's something he wouldn't deny. Somewhere around the room, he knows he still has photos with him laying around. It was a seasonal kind of friendship, and then the occasional kind as they grew up, until it was just... not there. He doesn't know what happened. They're in good terms, he knows that as they've worked on a task together before, but they've never really hung out like then.

Well, not until their best friends got together, at least.

Their circles just kind of merged after that Christmas. There wasn't much change in their routines; they still go on sleepovers, eat lunch together, walk home in groups. Only that this time, there are more people, and there's more laughter, and Jeno isn't looking wistfully at someone all alone.

Jaemin does the same.

It's kind of funny, really. These past few months, it feels like he's catching up to all those lost touches with Jaemin — he's the same weird guy he knew from childhood.

It was awkward at first but then before he knows it, they're all falling into their places like puzzle pieces. Before he knows it, months have passed and they've got closer and they're hanging out at his place, just the two of them, staring at the plastic stars on his ceiling. Unlike before, the unspoken feelings he has for Donghyuck only hurts a little.

With Jaemin, things are just... a lot nicer. Lighter.

"Jisung needs to stop leaving his goddamned notebook around," Jaemin complains, lowering the volume of his speakers so they could talk. Jeno rests his face on his palms, carefully watching the other boy. "He's great at writing but honestly, Jeno, I'm starting to feel guilty. I keep on accidentally reading his stuff and — I need to stop. Oh my God. He's working hard for that showcase and I'm here, peeping at his secret notebook!"

"Well, just ask him? You've been friends for a while now. You even said you basically raised him."

"Well, I did, but I wasn't even supposed to know about it, Jen."

Or maybe you are, Jeno thinks in his head, making some space on the bed for Jaemin who crawls right next to him. He sighs deeply, maybe you keep on stumbling around it because he hopes you'd see. Maybe he hopes you'd realize that he's in love with you.

They stay like that, quiet for a while. After ten minutes, Jaemin seems to fall asleep — he doesn't know when they grew close enough to doze off cuddling, but maybe it's just... always meant to be like this. They'd get their hearts broken and then they'd find solace with each other and they'd grow fond.

He thinks of Jisung for a little, and then he thinks of Mark. He's pretty sure Chenle could be thrown in the mix as well — he thinks of how he and Jaemin used to be part of that unspoken mess, too. Perhaps it's because something weird makes you fall in love with your best friend, like an odd charm. Or maybe it was just them.

These days, Donghyuck doesn't make his heart race as much — he gets excited, sure, seeing him and hanging out, but not for the old reasons. He's happy to see him. He loves him still, too, but it's a different kind of love — the kind he shares for Mark. The kind he's slowly starting to share with their newfound family.

Something changed, too. It felt like a new world after choosing to let his feelings for Donghyuck go, and it seemed like the past weeks, he feels something similar beginning to bloom.

When did it start? From the heartaches they shared stories about? The time they spent together? Did it begin from when they'd started hanging out again? He isn't really sure — all that he's certain about its that beside him, Jaemin looks peaceful and safe, and then Jeno muses to himself: "If you continue being like this, I might fall in love."

He could just hear Mark's voice right now — "Careful, Lee Jeno." — and he could just recall Jisung's hastily written words — 'You look at that person and you feel like you could conquer the world with one hand, but you choose to fall' — and oh, he could.

He could fall.

He's so sure of it — he could fall.

Later, when Jeno keeps his eyes closed at a failed attempt on sleep, Jaemin opens his and presses closer — "Please do."

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

[yikesharringrove]

I'm loving Mango! I actually had a idea of someone they know (maybe Carol? Or Jon? or any of the kids, etc go wild tbh) is under a lot of pressure, maybe blatant sexism "just because they care" for them to have a pup? And its causing a lot of strain and they come to Steve and billy for help and they're just immediately supportive! Like having a kid is HARD even one like Mango, they're still valid if they dont want kids, it's their life. Esp cuz both boys know what it's like to be a unwanted kid

Masterlist

Part 19

-

Mina was at the door, trying to reach for the doorknob and let in their guests.

“Watch out Mango.” She moved to allow Steve to open the door.

Tommy and Carol were in San Diego for the week, came to visit some of Tommy’s family, and check in on Steve, Billy, and Mina for a few days.

They settled down in the living area, Mina playing on the floor. She had given Tommy a stuffed bear and Carol a blue blanket, had taken to giving all of their guests their own little item.

“I haven’t seen her in so long. She’s like a whole person now.” She was playing with a few Barbie dolls, loved playing with their long hair. Steve kept his at his shoulders these days, it helped her with tantrums when she could run chubby fingers through them.

Her hair grew so fast, was halfway down her back. Steve would do it immaculately every morning before she went to preschool for a few hours.

“God I know. It feels like I’ve blinked and now she’s fully grown. She’s going to preschool for three hours in the morning, just to get her used to school and other kids and stuff.” That had been a big decision. Steve usually spent time with her on the weekdays, didn’t want to have her school taking up their time together. But then Billy brought up socialization, that going to school would be good for her, and Steve could not say no.

“What are you two getting up to these days? You old and boring yet?” Tommy smirked at them.

“Oh, yeah we are. Steve got his GED and his working the desk part time at an animal shelter. I found a garage here and am going to school and stuff. What’s good back in Chicago?”

They had moved just after Mina was born, both going to school in the city.

“Just school and shit. Well, and this.” Carol held out her hand, had a simple diamond ring on her left forefinger. “We bonded in September, and we’re getting married in April! We’re gonna have a big wedding in Hawkins!” Steve made an excited noise, standing up to hug Carol tightly.

“I think we have champagne in the fridge...” Billy was digging through, found a bottle that was probably as old Mina. He popped it, made her shriek at the noise, climb up into Steve’s lap.

They sat together for the evening, talking and laughing. Billy excused himself to put Mina to bed, had to spend about ten minutes chasing her around, fully naked while he sighed a lot, trying to shove her into pajamas. Steve just laughed from the couch.

“So, listen. With getting married and bonding and everything, we’re getting, I don’t know, like a lot of pressure to have pup.” Billy joined them on the couch, Mina asleep in her bed. “And we’ve talked, and, neither of us really want to have one.” Tommy looked sheepish as he spoke. “You’re the only people our age we know with a pup, and just wanted to, pick your brains I guess.”

“Look, I love Mango, and wouldn’t change our life for the fucking world at this point, but kids are hard. I mean, she’s overall pretty good, but she has her moments.”

“Oh, those first few months when she would just cry, and I thought maybe she was in pain or something, and would just have meltdowns alongside her.”

“I must’ve come home to find Steve crying on the floor, saying that he’s a bad father at least three times a week for the first two months. I love the garbage out of her, put it’s a lot of work.”

“Well, and although she was definitely an accident, we both knew we wanted to have kids at some point. We made it work because we wanted to. If you don’t want to, don’t do it. We were both unwanted kids, and it fucking sucked.”

“You’re good people, if you had one, you’d learn to love it, by why bother. If you’re happy just the two of you, be happy. Tell everyone else to fuck off.”

“Mina is my favorite thing on this planet, but she stresses me the fuck out sometimes. It’s all worth it, because I’ve wanted pups since I was one, but it may not all be worth it to you, and that’s fine. Maybe later you both decided you do  want pups, maybe you don’t. Either way, it’s up to you.”

“Sorry, do you love Mina more than you love me?” Steve turned to Billy, raising an eyebrow.

“She lived inside of me for nine months. Of course I love her more than you.” Billy threw his head back and laughed.

“Honestly, Tommy was worried you two would try and talk us into having a pup.”

“Well, it’s like Stevie said, we both know what it’s like to grow up with parents that didn’t want you. It really fucked us up. I’m not saying you two would become abusive, if you did have an accident pup, but trying to have a pup because it’s what you’re supposed to do, isn’t the right way to do it.”

“That makes a lot of sense.” Tommy sat back. “It’s really nice to hear that from people that have one.”

“Plus, kids make you boring as fuck. We go to bed at like, nine thirty.” Steve laughed, slapping Billy’s chest.

-

Carol and Tommy went back to their hotel just after midnight, had helped Steve and Billy clean up the hors d'oeuvres they had put out.

“I’m glad they’re being thoughtful about this, not just throwing caution to the wind and having a pup.” Steve was standing in the doorway to their bathroom, was putting moisturizer on his face.

“It was kinda funny when they said they didn’t want pups. Could you actually imagine those two as parents? Not saying we’re perfect, or anything, but just like, imagine.” Steve crawled into bed, shoving his way into Billy’s space.

“Remember when we talked about having another one, eventually?” Billy’s heart began to thud in his chest.

“Yeah...” Steve was quiet for a moment.

“I’m pregnant again.”

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 20 - Therapy

Varian sat on the leather couch inside the doctor’s office nervously bouncing his knee up and down. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to run, but he knew that would upset Aunt Cass who was seated on the chair next to the door.

This was meant to be his first therapy session and he didn’t know what to expect, or to say, or what to do. Both Hiro and Wasabi had told him that all he had to do was talk to the doctor about his problems, but Varian didn’t really feel like talking. He didn’t feel like delving into his past and reliving those painful memories. Moreover, he didn’t want anyone in this world to know of his mistakes, even if they were just a stranger.

Just then the door opened and a tall woman with short bobbed hair and glasses walked in. She wore a white lab coat and held in her hand a clipboard and pen.

“Hello, Miss Templeton. Are we here to see Hiro today?” The woman asked Aunt Cass.

“Oh hi, Dr. Mcguire.” Aunt Cass stood up to shake her hand. “No, I called earlier and told the secretary this, but I’d like you to meet Varian. Varian this is Dr. Mcguire. She’s our family therapist.”The woman smiled and shook his hand as well, as Aunt Cass contunited. “Varian is from Europe and I’m fostering him while he’s here in the states.”  

“Oh exciting!” The woman enthused. “Is this your first therapy session, Varian?”

Varian nodded his head numbly, still too unsure of himself to speak.

“Well there’s many different types of therapy. I’m a grief counselor. I use different techniques to help people deal with loss or trauma, such as, listening to people talk about their feelings and problems, helping people develop healthy coping mechanisms for anxiety or depression, helping people pinpoint or understand where their underlying issues are and what might cause them to react the way they do to certain situations, and basically anything else that helps the patient cope with their grief.”

Varian listened to the woman intently but none of what she said made any sense to him. He knew what all those words individually meant on their own but all together it just sounded like a word salad to him. He had no idea what any of that actually entailed in practice.

"Well, now Varian, tell me a little about yourself?" The doctor asked as she sat at her desk.

Varian only stared blankly at her, unsure what she wanted to hear.

Dr. Mcguire expounded "Do you have any interests or hobbies?"

Varian looked back to Aunt Cass questionly and she gave him an encouraging smile and a go on motion with her hands.

"Ummm...I like alchemy."

"Alchemy? Like the history of it, or is that some new video game I haven't heard of yet?" Dr. Mcguire gently laughed at herself. "My kids are always trying to get me into the lastest gaming craze and I can never seem to get the hang of it."

Varian once again could only stare. He'd played a few video games with Hiro and Fred, but he had no idea what was deemed popular or not. Nor did he know how to explain to this woman that he was a practitioner of a long dead science.

When this didn't elect a response from him the doctor tried a new line of questioning.

"Do you have a favorite video game?"

Varian shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't played many of them. We didn't have video games back in Old Corona."

"That's the city he came from." Aunt Cass explained. "Varian is from a Russia territory."

"Oh. Well, what did you play in Old Corona?" Dr. Mcguire asked.

"Not much." Varian racked his brain for a childhood game, but there had been no other kids to play with and his dad was not much for chess.

"My cellmate and I would play 'Noughts and Crosses' to pass the time. It's a little like Gomoku, but you try to get three in a row instead of five, and you just draw an X or O on to a grid you drew in the sand instead of having a board and colored pieces.'

"Oh we call that tic-tac-toe here." Aunt Cass cheerfully said, not immediately picking up on his mention of being in jail.

The doctor however did notice. "Cellmate?" She asked with concern.

Varian clamped his mouth shut at that. He didn't want to go into why he had been in prison, certainly not with Aunt Cass there.

Sensing the Varian's discomfort and seeing Dr. Mcguire's confusion, Aunt Cass spoke up. "I'm guessing the secretary didn't give you the forms we filled out?"

"No, I'm afraid not. I saw your name on the appointment and just assumed it was time again for Hiro's session. I'm sorry, that was unprofessional of me to assume and not come prepared. Would you like to reschedule?"

Aunt Cass looked to Varian. "It's up to you, sweetie."

Varian really didn't want to go through all this again. "No. I'm good."

"Well do you feel like talking about what's wrong then?" Asked Mcguire.

Varian tightened his jaw, unsure how to say no to the woman. But Dr. Mcguire knew her business and understood what Varian meant even without words.

"It's ok." She soothed. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. We're not here to make you feel uncomfortable. Therapy is supposed to help, not hurt."

This relaxed Varian a little, but only a little. He didn't know what either adult wanted from him then.

"Varian, would it help if I left?" Aunt Cass offered. "Or would you prefer that I stay? Either one is fine. It's your choice."

Varian looked back and forth between both women trying to decide. He honestly didn't know which would be more stressful; dealing with the doctor alone or risking slipping up again and having Aunt Cass find out about his past crimes.

"I...maybe?" He eventually answered.

"Alright then. I'll be just right outside the door if you need me." She stood up, walked over to Varian, gave him a peck on the forehead and an encouraging smile before closing the door and leaving.

Varian had to admit, he could breath more easily now that she'd left the room.

"Well," Dr. Mcguire spoke back up, "if you rather not talk about your issues right now, would you like to write about them instead?"

Varian gave her a confused look and in response she dug into a drawer in her desk and pulled out a notebook.

"Sometimes people find it easier to write about things than to talk about them. I often give my patiences journals, so that they can get out their feelings about stuff, make goals and plans, or to help keep track of their triggers and their responses."

She handed the notebook to Varian. It was thin and curiously printed on the front were images of lizards with hats and sunglasses riding upon skateboards. Varian might have thought it absurd looking but he was distracted by something that the doctor had said.

"Triggers?" He asked.

"A 'trigger' is anything that might make someone remember their trauma. It can be anything from a familiar sound or object, to an action or situation that is similar to an event that the person went through. When someone who's been through trauma comes across one of their triggers they might experience a panic attack, flashbacks, get angry or upset, or even completely shut down so to speak."

Varian studied the woman thoughtfully. Wasabi had described what a panic attack felt like and it sounded eerily similar to what he had felt when he ran away that day. The way he felt after having a nightmare. The way he'd felt when he had come home to find his dad unmoving in the amber.

“Do..do nightmares count?” He asked hesitantly.

“Well, yes, in a way. Nightmares are often associated with PTSD. They are a way for your mind to process what has happened to you. But they can also be caused by other things, like stress, anxiety, or just a lack of sleep. You’d have to dream about something multiple times and analyze those dreams in order to figure out their cause.”

She paused and studied Varian intently before continuing. "Some people write dream diaries to track the patterns of what they dream and when. You write what you've dreamed, good or bad, when you wake up. You also may write things like what time you went to bed, how long did you sleep, or what you may have eaten that day as those can affect how well you sleep."

"You could use your journal for that." She gently suggested.

"Then...then I show it to you?" He asked in kind.

"If you want to. Though, once again, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

"But, if I did, would it help?" Varian pressed, "Would it get rid of them?"

"It might help." The woman said measuredly. "Though it might not. Or you may need to do that along with a combination of things. The only way to find out is to try it."

Dr. Mcguire gave him a soft smile and Varian turned her words over in his mind. He would love for the nightmares to stop. They had only become more frequent since he moved in with the Hamada's. As if deep down he feared this new change in his life would become permanent and his subconscious was warning him to return home before it was too late. But, even still, while the doctor was right about not knowing till you tried, he worried over his past and what she or others might think of him once known. Then again, no reason to take a dream literally, right?

"I've..I...I've been having nightmares lately." He finally admitted. Dr. Mcguire only nodded along. She most likely had already guessed as much, but she didn't interrupt.

"They're always different. Like they're about different things. Sometimes they're about my home or my dad, sometimes about my friends, both old and new, and sometimes about, ummm, being in jail." He muttered this last part but then quickly contunited on, "They all end the same way though. With me being alone."

He met the doctor's eyes questioningly, wondering how she might respond. She looked to be contemplating over what he'd just confessed.

"Hmmm…Well dreams are rarely the same each time. It's usually just the repeated elements that we look for when analyzing. That's how the journal would help. But it looks like you figured out one of those elements on your own. Does being alone scare you?"

Varian looked at her wide eyed. He didn't know how to feel about having one of his greatest fears pointed out to him. It was true of course, but he didn't like to admit it.

"A, little." He admitted sheepishly.

"A lot of people fear being alone. We're social creatures. Humans need other humans and so we seek out relationships. It's nothing to be embarrassed about." Mcguire tried to ease his fear.

"Were you on your own in jail? Did you feel alone there?" She pressed.

"No, well sometimes, but like I said I at least had a cellmate. That's better than when I was completely on my own before then."

Dr. Mcguire face grew more concerned but she didn't pursue anything else about his time alone. Instead she asked, "Were you friends with your cellmate?"

"No." Varian scoffed, complaining about Andrew was easier than talking about his time spent on the run. "Dude was a creep."

"Oh, did you fight with him often?"

"Not usually. In fact we got along fine, but that's only because he'd pretend to be nice to get what he wanted. I always knew that's what he was doing, but I, guess I just went along with it because….because it was better than not talking to anybody at all."

Dr. Mcguire furrowed her brow, "What did he want from you then?"

Varian wiggled in his seat at that. He didn't want to go into the prison break and what followed thereafter. "Just….stuff."

This did not ease the doctor's fear. "How old were you when you went to jail?"

"I had just turned fifteen." He didn't know where this was going.

"And your cellmate was what, also fifteen, sixteen?" She guessed.

"Oh no. Corona doesn't have, what did the policeman call it, 'juvenile detention center.' Anyways, uh, I'm not sure what age Andrew was. He never said, but I would guess, like, late twenties?" Varian shrugged but he only became even more confused when he noted the look of horror on Dr Mcguire's face.

"And where were the guards when he was making you do… stuff?" She tried to hide it but Varian could still hear the way her voice shook.

"Ummm...well the guards make their rounds of the cells every ten minutes and stand guard at the door between then. Or they're supposed to, anyways. Sometimes they're late or they're switching shifts, or even sometimes asleep." He broke from his matter of fact statement with a little laugh. "I once saw Pete the guard fall asleep while standing up and Stan, the other guard, had to prop him up with his spear to keep the Captain from noticing." He whispered conspiratorially as if imparting some juicy bit of gossip.

But the doctor wasn't amused.

"It would appear that your home country has a very different legal system than ours." She stated as if trying to find a way to navigate Varian's revelations.

"I'll say." He snorted. Complaining about the conditions of the dungeon itself didn't bother him as much as admitting how he'd got there. He supposed it was because everyone suffered the same indignity as he did while there. So he didn't feel singled out.

"I saw what those cells down at the police station here looked like last week. Let me tell you. They were pristine." He began to number the differences on his fingers." Clean, not drafty, there were toilets, electric lights. I was on the bottom floor of the dungeon and all we had was a grate on the ceiling that let the tiniest bit of light and air in from the cell above us. Of course that wasn't much cause that cell only had a small window to begin with."

The doctor interrupted his ramble. "But what about when you were aloud outside?"

"Outside?" He echoed in confusion. "We never went outside. Who'd let criminals out of their cells willingly?"

Dr. Mcguire darted her eyes back and forth as if equally flabbergasted. "But, but what about for exercise!? Showers!? Mealtimes!?"

Varian looked at her unsure how to answer, now only realising just how vastly different the two realities really were.

"We ate in the cells." He said flatly in lieu of anything else. "Is the food better here too?"

"I don't know? What did they serve you?"

"Usually gruel, or bread and water. Sometimes we'd get scraps from the castle's kitchen. Like leftover bone broth before it went bad. I guess not to starve us completely."

"Castle?" She echoed hollowly.

"The jail is underneath the government's palace." He explained.

"And is that the only prison? Wouldn't that get over full?"

"Yeah, it does. That's why they only keep people there until they ship them off on the prison barge or…. til they hang them." He quietly admitted.

This seemed to be the last straw for the doctor.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and tried to compose herself.

"Well, that..uh..we seem to be reaching near the end of our session. How about we bring Miss. Templeton back in?" She flashed him a strained grin, but Varian knew she was rattled and he feared he'd said too much or had done the wrong thing.

"You mean Aunt Cass?" He asked.

"Yes. So you call her 'aunt' too?" He nodded. " Well let's get your aunt in here and we'll talk about how best to continue your therapy."

Dr. Mcguire walked out and Varian could hear her and Aunt Cass having a hushed and hurried conversion. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but he knew it was about him. Soon after, they both reentered the room and Aunt Cass took a seat next to him on the couch.

Dr. Mcguire sat at her desk again and proceeded to make an announcement.

"So Varian and I have talked a little and he's decided that he's going to keep a dream diary, which he can share with me during our next few sessions if he would like. However, I feel that Varian might benefit from seeing a specialist."

Varian heart dropped. He was being turned away? He'd somehow managed to screw up his first therapy session so bad the doctor was pawning him off to someone else.

"But, aren't you a specialist?" Aunt Cass asked, equally confused.

"Yes, but I deal with post trauma, sudden events, like a car accident or the recent death of a family member. After talking to Varian, it appears he's been through prolonged trauma. It'll take a few more sessions to confirm this but, he may have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's related to regular PTSD, there is some overlap in symptoms, but ultimately it requires different treatment."

Varian's stomach began to churn and he felt his heartbeat quicken. All he heard, behind the doctor's unfamiliar terminology, was that he was somehow, wrong or broken, more so than even the troubled patients she normally worked with. He wanted to cry, but instead he blinked back tears as Dr. Mcguire contunited.

"I have the name of a psychiatrist that I can recommend. I've worked with him before alongside other patients."

She handed a business card to Aunt Cass who leaned forward to take from her. As she read it the doctor went on.

"Dr. Brown deals with former soldiers, war refugees, abuse victims, and others who've had to endure extremely harsh conditions. He's better experienced in such cases and as a psychiatrist he can also prescribe any medicine that Varian might need."

"Medicine!?" Varian exploded and both women looked at him with concern. "But, but I'm not sick." He whined in protest.

Dr. Mcguire stood up and walked over to him. She knelt down to his level and looked him in the eye.

"I don't know if you are or aren't, diagnoses of mental illnesses take time, but you might still need prescribed medication even if you don't have an illness. You mentioned not sleeping well, something as simple as a herbal tea with added melatonin could help with that. However as a psychologist, and not a psychiatrist, I can legally write you a prescription for that, nor should I."

Varian darted his eyes about the room in confusion. Logically what the woman said made sense, he supposed, but that didn't stop his anxiety from raising. He felt cornered. He wanted to run again, but the gentle hand of Aunt Cass upon his shoulder rooted him to the couch.

"Look, you're still welcome to come see me." Dr. Mcguire reassured him. "I'll gladly help you in any way that I can. I just think Dr. Brown could do even more to help you."

"We just want what's best for you." Aunt Cass interjected. "Thank you, Dr. Mcguire. I'll give this Dr. Brown a call today when we get home."

And that was the end of it. They said their goodbyes and left.

On the whole way home, Varian sulked in the passenger seat as he stared dispondingly out the window. He could feel Aunt Cass nervously stealing glances of him, probably afraid he may jump out of the car again and try to run away.

She attempted to say something a few times, but thought better of it and kept quiet. The uncomfortable silence weighing upon them both until they arrived back at the Luck Cat.

Varian tore out of the car, pounded up the stairs, and was just about to run towards his new room, when he heard Aunt Cass say. "We need to talk."

Varian found himself sitting on a couch for the second time that day. This one in Hamada living room. He eyed Aunt Cass pensively and waited for yet another lecture.

"Sooo, I know that didn't go as well as we hoped today, but hey, we made some progress!" She gave him a plastered grin as she tried to find the silver lining. Varian only gave her a look as if she was crazy and rolled his eyes.

She heaved a heavy sigh.

"Varian, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of people see special psychiatrists. That's what they're for. They wouldn't exist if people didn't need them."

Varian still refused to meet her gaze.

"Also, not everyone finds the right therapist on their first try. It took me a whole year and three different doctors before I found Dr. Mcguire."

Varian did look at her upon that revelation, this time with surprise on his face.

Aunt Cass gave him a small smile.

"Did you think you were the only one who needed therapy?" She gently teased, before admitting, "I was only 24 when I took in Tadashi and Hiro. I didn't know how to be a parent. I didn't know how to handle two grieving little boys nor the emotional roller coaster I was on as well. I had to get help. I had to try out different doctors, different types of therapy, even took medication for a little while, and it took time but in the end it did make things better for all of us. I just want you to get better as well."

Varian processed this confession as he wrestled with his growing sense of shame and despair.

"But...but…you never did anything to deserve that. It was just a bad thing that happened to you.. I… I on the other hand…I wasn't in that jail for no reason." He confessed before bursting into tears.

"I don't care." Aunt Cass quietly said.

Varian looked back in surprise again. She stood before him with worry etched onto her face.

"I don't care what you did." She reiterated. "It doesn't matter."

She bent down and cupped Varian's face into her hand, just as she did when he returned after running away.

"Varian, no one deserves to be treated the way you were. Especially a child. That..that was just cruel." Her voice broke. "Cruel, and inhumane, and oh god, what ever did they do to you to make you think you deserved it?" It was her turn to cry as she scooped Varian into a hug.

Varian blinked rapidly, both because of the tears and because he hadn't been expecting this reaction. He knew he was at fault. Everyone in the kingdom knew it. They all blamed him for what happened and threw nothing but scorn his way. The only reason that Aunt Cass and everyone else didn't hate him too was because they didn't know, surely. But the sincerity in her voice, the tender loving embrace, the way she put up with him and his stupid mistakes around the house, all made him desperate to believe her. So he hugged her tightly back.

"But.. But.. I'm not 'no one'" The tears flowed freely now. "I'm...I'm…I'm not like anyone. The doctor said so herself, today."

"No!" She pulled away from the embrace to look him dead in the eye. "No. She said you needed help that she couldn't give. Dr. Brown, though, can. He deals with people who've been through what you've been through. You're not alone. You're not broken. You're not weird. And you are most certainly not deserving of being thrown in a dungeon."

She wiped her fingers through his bangs, a sign of affection he'd come to recognize from her, and blinking back tears said, "Oh how I wish I could have been there for you sooner. But I'm here now. And so is Hiro, all your friends, Chief Cruz, Professor Granville, and Dr. Mcguire. Ok? We are all here for you now, and we love you, and nothing is going to change that. And now Dr. Brown will be there for you too. So please, let us help you."

Varian searched her eyes. These were words he had longed to hear for who knew how long, but when faced with them for real he had trouble giving into them; to believing them. The nagging voice in his head was screaming at him, warning him that it wasn't true, that they would all abandon his as soon as he screwed up or they found out the truth of his past, the same as how everyone else had given up on him, told him how he didn't deserve such kindness, ect.,but he didn't care. He wanted it to be true.

He nodded yes and flung his arms around Aunt Cass again. They remained that way, just holding each other for several minutes. While Aunt Cass stroked his hair and cooed reassuring words. How she loved him, how she wasn't going anywhere, how he was her child now and nothing would change that. He wasn't sure if he was ready to accept her as a parent yet, to him his dad was the only parent he needed, but he deeply appreciated all that she had done, all that she promised to do, and it felt good to finally be accepted somewhere, to be wanted .

When they finally stopped hugging Aunt Cass said she was going to call Dr. Brown and set up an appointment. She then stroked the top of his head again and asked if he wanted to help her bake something special for dinner. He nodded yes and they both put the unfortunate incident at the therapist behind them.

[halcyonnhood]

Ramen, Baking and Glitter || l.h

Summary: Luke realizes he loves his best friend while on tour and confronts the feelings when he sees her again.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: possibly a few curse words.

Authors note: The italics are Luke's memories of her! After the asterisks (***) is when they're back in LA and in present tense. I hope the format looks okay, I typed this out on my phone. Also the OC is very special to me (more about that in the tags.) I may write more about her and Luke.

- - -

The band 5 seconds of summer have travelled thousands of miles over the years. They've explored new countries, cities, and towns. They've met new fans, friends, and probably too many flirty humans. Luke enjoys every last bit of it, he thrives on the attention. Yet, no amount of love from fans manages to take his mind off one of his best friends waiting back in LA for him. Everything happens to remind him of Sarah.

When the boys stayed in Japan, Michael had demanded to stop for ‘proper’ ramen before they left the country. Of course, no one had the heart to deny him his love for traditional Japanese food. The four of them had been bantering and talking about plans when the longing had struck Luke. He was mid bite of his chicken ramen and all he can remember is the silly heated debate he and Sarah had before the tour.

Sarah tosses the bright orange bag back at Luke and scrunched her nose in disgust. She hadn't eaten all day and upon arriving at Luke's house, she decided she wanted to fix something easy. So naturally, she rummaged through his cabinets and made Luke reach the ramen shoved on the top shelf. When he handed the orange bag to her with “chicken flavored” printed across the top, she felt like she was going to have a brain hemorrhage. Now she just stares up at the top shelf in disappointment, as if red bags would magically appear instead.

“I want ramen.” Sarah tells him with pouted lips.

“You just threw the ramen at me,” Luke says. He points at the bag on the counter.

“Yeah, because that's disgusting.” She makes sure to enunciate the word disgusting. “It's chicken.”

“What do you have against chicken ramen? You like chicken, we literally just had some last night.” Luke questions.

“Ya, we had grilled chicken. It's the flavoring in the ramen, it's weird.”

“What kind do you like then?”

“Beef.” Sarah says. She gives him a playful smile when he rolls his eyes at her, “It is the only acceptable ramen.”

“It is not!” He argues. “You're just wrong, you monster. Chicken is a classic,”

She fake gags, “I have taste buds, you giant oaf. Now we have to go to the store because you're wrong.”

Luke spent the rest of the Japan trip thinking about Sarah. He thought about how much he missed her randomly dropping by his house and pretending she owned it. He thought about how she would've really enjoyed eating traditional ramen instead of the instant kind, she would never want to leave the foreign country. Lastly, he made a mental note to buy the girl all the beef ramen she could ever want and to find a restaurant that serves the real stuff. He knows something so small would make her whole day and he just wants her to smile.  

Japan isn't the only time Luke is reminded of the strong willed girl. They had met a fan in Munich who looked uncannily like Sarah and he hadn't been the only one who noticed. If Luke's being honest, he hadn't been paying much attention to the girl at first. She had won some radio station competition and the whole band had greeted her at once before she turned to talk to Michael first. He had taken more of a notice to her after catching Michael's not so subtle glance at the boys and the first thing he had connected was the hair. The fan had her hair honey blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, so what? It wasn't uncommon to see the almost brown hair color and the style was popular. It's not like he hadn't seen it on anyone other than Sarah, he had. It was just such a common sight around his household that he automatically associated it with her.

When the fan had made it to him and pulled away from the hug, Luke felt bad for not paying attention to anything she said. He wanted to, but he was captivated by how she could be a perfect doppelganger. Dark olive green eyes, freckles spotted across flushed cheeks, and a small button nose. All things that looked eerily similar and one look at the boys showed that they had seen it too.

“Holy shit,” Michael said as soon as she had left “That kid looked exactly like Sarah,”

“It's weird,” Calum added. “I mean, all of the features just matched,”

Ashton had chuckled at their surprise, “They do say everyone has lookalikes,”

“Still so weird, especially after not seeing Sarah in months.” Luke said with a shrug. He tried not to think about it too hard.

Three different shows went by without Luke being reminded of her. He thinks it's because he made more of an effort to facetime her at the end of his nights and fulfill his longing to talk to her. When they stop in Paris, he's proven wrong. Luke wishes he could be cheesy and say it's because he realized he was in love with her while in the city of love. Except he realized his love was more than platonic weeks ago.

Ashton had suggested that they go somewhere local for breakfast. So, the duo set out on an adventure for the best place that served breakfast. They ended up in a bakery, ordering an abundance of baked goods and iced coffee. The savory scent of bread mingling with the sweet scent of pastries and cookies reminded him of none other than the girl that he may or may not be in love with. More often than not, she'd spend her extra time using new recipes to bake cookies, cake, and bread. Most of the time she subjected the boys to taste testing, but none of them seemed to mind. There would be days that Calum would be sad to come over to Luke's and find no treats. It was even sadder on recording days when she couldn't make it to the studio to visit and drop off her baked goods. The best days were always when she stopped by.

“Booooys,” Sarah sing songs, “I made some cookies!”  

She sits the plate covered with aluminum foil on the desk and sits next to Michael on the couch. Ashton's listening to the producer play back their latest song while both Luke and Calum are diving for the plate to see who gets a cookie first. The sight just reminds her of how childish they can both be and it makes her laugh.

"What kind are they today?” Michael asks.

Luke sits back and looks at the cookie in his hand while waiting for her to respond with her normal rambles about the recipe. Usually she'll tell them all about how the website lied about the amount of butter or come up with an excuse to why ‘the first batch is bad’. He has to admit that he loves hearing her get so passionate over her baking skills.

“I made two. Can you believe it? TWO!” Sarah excitedly tells him. “I made salted caramel and raspberry with white chocolate chips. AND the caramel is homemade!”

"Wait, you know how to make caramel? This is so good” Calum says while waving around the half eaten cookie.  

"It's so easy, it's just cream, sugar, and butter. But it burns if you don't take it off the heat fast enough. I may have ruined a pan,” She explains the last part timidly.

Some time during her explaining how to make caramel, Ashton had also grabbed one of the cookies. He just shakes his head at the girl with a chuckle, “Sarah, you'd be a good baker if you didn't burn everything,”

"Says the man who is on his second cookie,” Sarah says with a glare.

"This is the third time you've burnt something,”

“I'm betting that other bakers have burnt things before!” She argues.

The other three stay quiet as the two go at it, both of them living for the argument. For a minute, Luke thinks that Ashton is enjoying it too much. That is until Sarah's expression softens from the furrowed brow to a relaxed and playful one instead. Sometimes he thinks they're both too argumentative and honest for their own good, but it always ends in good fun. He could never understand why they actually enjoyed arguing and often times egged each other on, but as long as no one ends up in tears, everyone let's them hash it out.

“The cookies are really good, Sarah.” Luke tells her honestly. His insides feel melty and gooey as her eyes light up at the compliment.

"Thank you, Luke!” She thanks him in an overly sweet tone, “You know how to be a GOOD best friend. That's why I love you,”

It's possible that Luke had fallen hopelessly in love, not that he'd admit it. He had spent the entire world tour consumed with thoughts about Sarah, always seeking out bits and pieces of her in every place they visited. He even associated her with ramen out of all things. Ramen. He knew he'd have to deal with the conflicting emotions eventually, but he still opted to push them away to have a clear head for the rest of tour. A mostly clear head. All he knew was that it was a future Luke problem.

*  * *

“Are you really bringing up the brownies I made in 2017?”

“They were MEMORABLE! Gosh, I remember how bitter they were. It feels like it happened yesterday,”

“Cocoa powder is bitter, you little shit!”

The argument can be heard throughout the hallway leading up to the dressing rooms in the Forum. Luke hadn't been expecting to hear the bright voice until later tonight, so naturally when he hears her, it makes his heart soar. Her words towards Ashton sounds harsh, but he can hear the playful hints in her tone. He isn't even to the door and can already visualize her darkened blonde hair falling past her shoulders, her usual makeup, and a smile tugging at her pink lips. He feels like he might explode with excitement.

Luke is right. He leans against the doorframe and watches two of his favorite people argue. She has half of her hair pulled back in a ponytail, purple glitter tapped onto her cheekbones, and the light catches on her shiny lip gloss. Neither of them acknowledge his presence, but Michael gives him a knowing grin from one of the chairs. He doesn't mind, he's just happy to see her again and admittedly he missed their playful fights. It gives him time to think about how he'd admit his love.

Girls are usually the ones to secretly fall in love with their best friends, at least that's how it's always portrayed in shows. Is it weird for guys to do that? Luke isn't sure how he's supposed to tell her, should there be some grand gesture? Just be straight up with no frilly things? He should've bought her flowers on the way here from their last promo video. He just wants her to feel appreciated whether or not she holds the same feelings towards him.

Luke is brought out of his daze by a smaller body colliding with his and warm arms wrapping around his midsection. He envelopes the smaller girl in his arms and gives her the tight squeeze that he's been waiting months for. She pulls back and he smooths down her frizzy hair with a small smile.

“I missed you so much, Luke.” Sarah smiles brightly up at him. The sight is enough to turn his heart to mush.

He just returns the warm smile, “I missed you more,”

“Now that you're here,’ Sarah turns around dramatically and points a manicured finger at Ashton before continuing, “You can protect me from bullies!”

“What's he bullying you bout’ this time?”

“My brownies! He can never be nice to me. I slaved all night for y'all and he brings up the disaster of 2017. I'm so much better now.” Sarah huffs.

She snatches the Tupperware bowl off of Ashtons lap and twirls around to push it into Luke's hands instead. He takes one out and savors the first bite, Sarah watching his every move for a reaction. She isn't wrong, it's much better than the first time when she forgot to add enough sugar. When he makes a noise of appreciation for the sweet treat, her face lights up and she sticks her tongue out at Ashton with a laugh. Luke swears that he could watch her soft features all evening, but he could settle for a bit of time before the concert. The last concert of the tour. Then he could spend the rest of his days talking to and watching her when she visits.

Sarah points her nose up in a mocking way, “See, Luke agrees that they are good brownies. I'm right. Now if you excuse us, I've got to paint Luke's nails!” .

“Luke's opinion doesn't mean you're right,” Ashton tuts.

"It does too! Accept defeat, Ash.” She calls out while dragging Luke out of the room with her.

Luke almost forgot that he had texted asking her to repaint his nails. Between potentially obsessive thoughts, promo, concerts, and trying to be a real tourist; Luke hadn't found the time to find someone to keep up with his nails. He definitely wants them done for the show, so he doesn't complain about their abrupt departure from the boys. Sarah leads him a few rooms down to one of the unoccupied dressing rooms and points at the lineup of polish bottles on the makeup desk.

"I didn't know what color you wanted this time, so I bought nearly half of my collection with me,” She says.

"You didn't have to bring all this, Sarah. You could've just picked one for me,”

“I wanted to have a choice! I think you should pick something new though. No black or red.”

“You're really going to do that to me?” Luke asks in mock distress.

It makes Sarah let out a giggle and roll her eyes, “I'm so horrible, I know.”

It only takes Luke a moment to narrow down which colors he liked best. He really wanted the sparkly red, but he couldn't ignore her opinion when he valued it so much. She wants something different, so he hands her the pastel  pink polish and gives her a sheepish glance. She doesn't react badly though, she just gives him a wide smile with her pretty lips and motions for him to sit in the chair.

Sarah gets to work with painting his nails, making precise strokes to avoid a mess of polish. He admires the patience and steadiness required to do such a simple task, because the last time he tried it looked like a toddlers handy work. After watching three nails being covered in pink, he turns his attention back to taking in her features. Her brows dip down into a tiny furrow as she concentrates and he notices the new freckles dotted around her forehead and nose. He figures that she must've been in the sun recently, he's always known that the spots darken with exposure to sunlight. He likes how it just adds more depth to her complexion.

Luke also enjoys the glitter. She tends to save the bold look for festivals and he wants to tease her about how their show must be important. He just finds himself fascinated by how it looks on her and how it instantly brightens all of her features. Of course he wouldn't tease her about it when he thinks she looks so effortlessly pretty. Although the thought of him being the reason for her flushed cheeks is tempting enough.

When Sarah sets the closed bottle back onto the desk, Luke notices her makeup sitting neatly in the corner, probably so she can freshen up throughout the night. He wonders if the glitter would have the same effect on him. Plus, he just wants her close to him.

“What's going on in that brain of yours?” Sarah waves a hand in front of his face.

“I was just thinking,”

She purses her lips at him, “No shit, sherlock. Elaborate,”

"You know how you do your makeup? I was thinking about if I'd look good in it and if the fans would like it” Luke tells her honestly.

“The fans would love it, lu. And we'd be matching!” She gushes. He can tell she's already visualizing the look on him.

"Can you do mine too then?”

"I don't think you could afford my services,” She answers, while already reaching for her makeup.

There's more steps to the makeup look than Luke had originally anticipated. She explains each and every step to him and somehow listening to her explain bb cream ends up being the softest thing in the world. She promised that it'd only even out the redness and he does like how natural he looks. After contouring and adding blush, she finally moves onto his eyeshadow and glitter. He catches a glance at himself in the mirror as she pulls back his hair into a half ponytail and he likes how pretty he looks. The glitter looks nice on him and he matches Sarah perfectly.

Sarah pulls out the gloss wand with a ‘pop' sound and smiles at the man, “One last thing.”

"Thank you. I almost look as pretty as you,” He tells her. He likes how her face flushes a darker pink at his compliment.

"Oh, stop that. You could rock it better than me any day,”

Luke studies Sarah's expression for a moment while she puts her makeup away and he's never wanted to kiss someone more. He's spent months away and he's been consumed by his newfound romantic love for her. Now that she's in front of him again, he wants to kiss her and take her out for authentic beef ramen like he had planned. He wants to watch her bake and compliment all of her new recipes. He wants to hold her tight and never leave her again. He's just afraid that she'll never see him as anything other than a friend. He'd accept any love over none at all, but he'll never know the difference until he tries.

"Sarah, can I be honest with you?” Luke questions.

She looks up at him with wide eyes, “Always. What's up?”

"I think I love you,” Luke tells her carefully. “Tour gave me a lot of time to think about how I feel about you.”

"Romantically?” Sarah looks at him in awe and points at herself, “Me?”

"Yes, you.”

“I'm really not sure what to say in this situation,”

"You don't have to say anything,” Luke rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, “We can just pretend this never happened.”

"No, I mean…I think I like you too. It's just that you're my best friend and you were gone. So I don't know how I really feel? It's easy to think one thing without the person around. Now you're here and what if I just missed you?”

"We can always wait to talk about this,” He assures her, “I was just going to ask you to go on a date with me after the show,”

She gives him a lopsided smile, “What kind of date?”

“I figured I'd ask you to a Japanese restaurant, but no weird seafood since you hate that. I thought you'd like some traditional ramen. We had it in Japan and it reminded me of you.”

"The real stuff? Michael talks about how good it is all the time!”

Luke smiles at her reaction, “Would you like to go with me?”

"You know what? Yes! It'll be fun.”

The boys are finishing up last second preparations backstage when Sarah joins them. Michael and Calum are talking with each other and she doesn't see Ashton with them yet, so she takes it as a chance to talk to Luke. He's fidgeting with his in-ear monitors when he notices her walking up to him, a sneaky expression across her features.

"Being a troublemaker?” Luke raises an eyebrow at her.

"You know it! I just took a break to wish you luck,”

"I always need that,” He chuckles.

The stage managers are rushing around and one speeds by calling out that they'll be on in one minute. Luke gives her a frown, sad to leave in the middle of a conversation. Sarah on the other hand just smiles instead and motions for him to lean down. When the tall boy does, she stands on her toes and places a soft kiss against his lips. His blue eyes widened at the unexpected kiss, but softened after the initial shock. She pulls her lip gloss out and touches up his gloss that she had messed up, not wanting to ruin his look. Luke didn't expect Sarah to make the first move, yet he's the one blushing.

“I-” He starts.

Sarah doesn't let him get a word in edgewise and pushes him lightly towards their other three friends, “I think you're going on now,”

"You look pretty. I'll see you after!” She adds again with a smile at the shocked man.

Luke is definitely in love with her, there's not a single doubt in his mind. All he can think about through the concert is the fact that he's never been so excited for noodles in his entire life. Noodles and his favorite girl.  

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[be-the-creature-fan]

The River by be-the-creatue-fan (Read my first story AIN'T NO TIME LIKE 1969 before reading this story)

Chapter 1

"Martin? What are you doing here again? Dr. Corvado was looking everywhere for you!"

Martin turned around to see who was talking to him.

"Mom?! What are you doing here?"

"It's a good thing that we've found you in time." Linda Kratt said as she grabbed Martin arm and took Martin away from the tomb stone.

"Mom, what are you doing? where are you taking me?"

She didn't say a single word and they both continued walking until they got to the parking lot. There stood an ambulance type vehicle with several doctors and police officers that ran towards him.

"Mom? MOM! What are you doing? what's going on!?"

Linda remained silent but her eyes were starting to water up as the doctors restrained him and shoved him into the back. One of the doctors looked very familiar, Martin looked at the name tag that was on the doctors shirt. Dr Corvado.

"Aviva! Oh man it's so good to see a familiar face!"

But Aviva didn't say a word, and ignored him. Martin being very confused still tried to talk to her, but with no luck.

"Aviva it's me Martin, Me, You, Chris, Koki and Jimmy would go around the world to rescue animals. you're a genius inventor and-"

"Smith! he's speaking crazy talk again, we should probably give him the shot now."

"Alright Corvado he's your patient."

"Wait what shot? Aviva you have to listen to me we were friends you have to beli-"

And just like that Martin was out cold.

Chapter 2

(Flashback to July 20th 1973)

It was what you would call a perfect summer day, the sun was shining, the sky was blue and excitement was still in the air. Chris had just celebrated his 4th birthday and he was still hyped about being another year older, but he was even more excited to go with Martin and his older sisters to the near by river at the place where the whole family camped.

"Bill are you sure Chris is old enough to go with them to that river?"

"Linda, of course he's old enough, they're going to the shallow part of the river, and plus I'll be close by incase the kids need anything."

"Oh alright, have fun you guys!"

As Bill, Martin, his sisters and Chris got closer to the river the more excited Chris became.

"Martin are we there yet?"

"It's going to be awhile until we get there, but don't worry we'll be in there in no time"

But Chris wasn't the most patient kid and decided to run ahead.

"Now Chris don't run to far ahead yah hear!" Bill called out.

"I won't!"

After a while of walking and running they finally made it to the river, only to find it flooded from the storm the night before.

"Welp, looks like we can't go swimming gang"

"WHAT!? But why Daddy?" Chris winned

"Well you see squirt, the river is over flooded, it's too dangerous to go swimming, but, it's not to dangerous to go berry picking" Bill said as he pointed towards some blackberry bushes. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Uh I guess" Chris said a little disappointed.

So Martin, his sisters and Chris started picking blackberries close to the river as Bill went fishing just up river not to far from them.

"Man it's hot outside, I'm gonna cool off in the river"

"But Martin, Daddy said to not go in the river because it's to dangerous" Chris said

"Yea, he said it was dangerous for you because your to little"

"I'm not too little, I just turned 4!"

"Yea, and I'm 7 almost 8, I'm technically a man, and I'm old enough to go into the river if I want to."

Chris didn't take that to kindly and wanted to prove that he wasn't the little kid that everybody thought he was. When no one was watching he decided that's when he would make his move to go into the river.

"Chris what are you doing?" Susan said (one of the twin sisters)

Chris didn't respond as he jumped into the river. Chris underestimated the depth and power of the river as he was swept away by the strong current.

"MARTIN! Chris jumped in the river!" "He's getting carried down river!"Both Christine and Susan screamed.

Martin turned around to see Chris's head pop out for a split second, before the current pulled it back down.

"Susan! Go and get Dad! Me and Christine will try to get Chris out!"

Susan ran to get Bill as Martin got out of the river because even he knew that the current was to strong for him.

"MARTIN! HELP ME! *GASP* MOMMA ,PAPA *GASP* SAVE ME!...... save me....." Chris's head went under again.

"CHRIS! NOOOOO!"

(A few hours later)

Mr and Mrs. Kratt, we've found your son's body down river and I regret to inform you that your son didn't make . We are so sorry for your lost. we need-....................................

Martin and his sisters were sitting inside the trailer, he could hear his mom screaming in agony, he looked out the window to see them both crying. That's when Martin knew, but that's not how it was happen, Chris didn't die, he couldn't have died, he didn't die, he didn't die, he didn't die!

(Back in Present day)

Martin woke up to find himself in what seemed to be some sort of jail cell.

"Martin, you awake?"

"Jimmy? Is that you?"

Chapter 3

"Jimmy! Oh my gosh I'm so glad you're here! Where is here anyways"

"We're in some sort of insane esylem, but that's all I know because HOW ON EARTH DID WE GET HERE!!!"

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Well, I was asleep in the Tortuga and the next thing I heard was sombody screaming and when I woke up I ended up here. I saw Aviva but for some reason she didn't respond, it was like she didn't recognize me"

"Wait do you remember Chris being alive?"

"Yea why wouldn't he be alive...unless. What happened while I was asleep?"

Martin explained what had happened to him, Chris's gravestone. the strange dream and how Aviva treated him on his way to the esylem.

"Oh my gosh...OH MY GOSH!"

"Jimmy what is it?"

"Its all wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen, when Chris went to the past, something happened that messed up the space time continuum."

"Well, how are we going to fix it?!"

"I-I don't know, its going to be hard to find the cause of how or what caused this to be our new reality. Time is very complicated stuff."

"Wait, how do you know about this stuff?"

"Martin, I don't just sleep, eat pizza and play video games all day. I usually subcaunsely listen to what Aviva and Koki talk about when it comes to complicated things like time trampolines and such."

"Oh"

"Hey Cell 37! SHUT UP!"

Martin and Jimmy turned to see one of the guards banging his fist on thier cell door. Then they saw the shadows of two other faceless figures before the door opened.

"I don't know how you escaped this time, but we'll make sure that it doesn't happen again yah hear?" The first person said

Martin and Jimmy were very confused as the 2nd figure walked in. Aviva walked in with a huge syringe. That was the last thing both Martin and Jimmy remembered.

Chapter 4

Martin and Jimmy were laying on their bunks. Numb, Cold, Afraid, their heads were pounding and they both were uncontrollable twitching. Martin's eyes began to water from the pain that he felt. Jimmy on the other hand felt anger and rage, his blood began to boil. Jimmy jumped from his bunk and ran to their cell door.

"YOU HEARTLESS SWINE!!! WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES, YOU'RE THE CRAZY BIT-"

"Jimmy?" Martin said with a weak voice. "Was Chris ever alive? Or was I just crazy this whole time?"

"No, Martin, your not crazy, we're not crazy, Chris was alive. He was alive..."

The Next few days were rough for Jimmy and Martin as their hope began to dwindle. Martin kept having the same nightmares of his brother's death as well as having the same horrible dream of him just disappearing from existence like what he had originally witnessed, as the days passed it was getting harder to believe what was true. Jimmy was also going through a rough time. He still felt utterly betrayed by Aviva and missed Koki dearly.

"I wonder where Koki is?"

"Who knows." Martin said kind of miffed

"You know I loved her, right? I-I wanted to tell her how I felt...b-but I was always too chicken, a-and now I might never get the chance."

"Well sucks to be you. At least Koki might be alive somewhere, but guess what, Chris is dead and everyone thinks I'm a looney!"

Jimmy fell silent as he was to angry to say a word.

Weeks turned into months and not a word was spoken.

Until one day Martin overheard a conversation.

"I think I did it!"

"Did what Ms Corvado?"

"Well, for the past couple of years I've been working on a time machine and now I've think I've done it!"

"So she has been working on a time machine" Jimmy said kind of miffed.

"But what good would that do" Martin said feeling rather hopeless "it not like we can fix any of this, or can we..."

(Meanwhile with Chris)

Martin, that was the last thing Chris saw before he felt as if he was drowning. Fear was the last feeling that Chris had before he dissapeared into the abyss.

"Wh-Where am I?"

But the only response he got was an echo. His surroundings were white at first before becoming more clear. The first thing that came into focus was the green grass and the surrounding tombstones, soon more things came into focus he spotted Martin standing infront of one of the tombstones.

"Martin!" Chris yelled as he ran towards his brother to embrace him, but he went right through him.

Martin didn't hear him, he couldn't hear him, he couldn't feel him, Chris was nothing more than a soul.

(I'm putting this story on hold I am so sorry for leaving this on a cliff hanger I just need to think how I'm going to continue the story because honestly I ran out of ideas. Oop)

[pbandjesse]

My back is really hurty right now but today was a really nice day. Just long and rainy.

I was very tired last night. I'm very tired today. But it's all right. I slept okay last night. I woke up with James's alarm around 6 and fell back asleep until 7. He was gone when I woke up. He had gone to his parents house to get the car to get the last couple things for my other apartment. The plan now is for me to go on Saturday and Sunday and clean. Trying to make it as nice as possible. Then we will go in with are U-Haul when he has a day off. And get my bed and my bookshelf. I'm still stressed out about it all but it's fine. I think I'm going to bring some cleaning stuff and trash bags and things like that over this weekend. Try to just do as much as possible.

I felt okay when I got up. It wasn't thrilled about being awake. Are going to work but I had some positive feelings for the guy. Last night at around 10 p.m. Tiffany called me and asked if I would feel okay leading the older kids science class. And honestly that's what I thought we were doing from the beginning so I was fine with that. I left here around 7:40 and went down to the bus stop.

I got to work at 8:15 and went upstairs and sorry it's setting things up. My fabric was missing but I found it underneath I dropped off. No idea why it was there. It's all good. Set up and then I went to talk to Edina about changing the stem project. And then I went to go talk to Tiffany about the schedule. Because one of the reasons I am leaving stem is so that a Dina can see how the project should go. So having her do stem first doesn't make any sense.

But after some phone calls and stuff we were able to work that out and I got the schedule and I want it. My art is the same. Then we have reading lunch and recess. And then I go to stem with the older kids. While the little kids go to book arts. And then the little kids come to stem and then the older kids go to book Arts. And that worked really well. Today was so much more chill than it has been and it was great.

I set up some stuff for science. Mixed up watercolor paint in bottles. Made some examples. We were doing sneeze art. And it was very silly. But we started the day with some annoyances because I am very much all about organized chaos. And one of my kids ask to go to the bathroom while we were at breakfast and I told him to go ahead and he ran out the door like a first grader will do. And the new principal admonished me and Marcus for not watching our kids. And it was just very rude and the very first interaction I've ever had with this woman who has not introduced yourself to us yet. So I just felt some kind of way. But whatever. Hopefully she can redeem herself to me because so far is not looking good.

But besides that today was great. We went upstairs we did yoga. I did yoga with the little kids first and then went did with the big kids. With the big kids they also introduce some of my ballet stretches and that was really fun. Getting them to use their brains a little bit. Not all of them are participating but the ones that are I can tell her having a good time.

Art went really well. I was worried about Jeremiah for a while because he just did not understand that he was moving from beading to Patches. But really that was because yesterday he didn't actually do beading because he kept spilling the beads all over the place. But that's fine. He ended up sitting with our youth worker Trinity and he drew these little characters that he likes on a patch that we've been hot glued on. I was so proud of him I took that picture up there with him smiling all big. So sweet. I just wish that he would stop whining. That's my only thing that I cannot stand. We're working on it though.

Reading was great. We drew pictures on the computers of a book we've read recently. I drew some stuff from Flowers for Algernon. And then we talked about them and we had to have some conversations about critique and how you talk about other people's work. Even if you don't like it. You have to be kind. I doubt with some little kid tears but everything was okay. We were having fun.

Lunch and recess we're fine. I think I'm supposed to be having my break during recess now but that's very early for me and I don't want to have my break then so I just didn't. I stayed outside and just chilled. Then we went inside for stem.

It was very confusing for the kids because they had to go into a different room that they've been used to for the last 2 weeks. But we got everybody in the right place and then I had to take it sit down and I kind of gave them a mini introduction on myself and explain what we were going to do and my expectations for them. That if they did the project they would get free time. It's an incentive and honestly they need it. It's summer camp it's not school they should be able to have free time. Especially because I just read that article last night about how not having free play and free time outside of a structured adult activity is really detrimental for your kids and their ability to self soothe and self direct. They need to be able to learn how to do that. So it's very important for me to figure out places in the day where they can have that.

And it worked out really well. They were loud. And they weren't always listening but we explained the project. We talked about how you sneeze at a hundred miles an hour and you cough at 50 miles an hour. And then we got our watercolor paper and are smocks and we went outside.

For both classes it works very well. But the little kids were actually better at it because Miss Adina only left a little kids Spritz their paper twice. And I let the big kids do it as much as they wanted. So some of the big kids ones fell apart because they were so wet. But they were having a really good time and they were color mixing and they were being messy and exploring the medium. And they were learning but it wasn't like a lot. It was just fun. And that's what I wanted. You're outside and it's too hot and so after about 15 minutes we went back in.

We all later artwork down put her smokes away I check back in with them make sure they understood the two facts that I thought them. And then I told them guys you did the project you get 20 minutes of free time. So they got their laptops out and they got their phones out and they were having a good old time. And then at the end we close the laptops and cleaned up and they said thank you Miss Jessie and they headed out. It was so much smoother than every other day I have experience seeing the older kids. It was great. I hope that we can keep that momentum.

For the second half. When I had two little kids do it. I stepped back. I let Adina handle that. I only said a couple things. They all were smocks. They got four colors instead of six colors. Mr. Marcus was there to help. We went outside and we all did our thing. The kids work was much nicer than the older kids. They weren't as wet. You actually saw the spray pattern. It was good. Had them bring them all upstairs we laid them out too dry. I'm going to hang them up tomorrow probably. And then we went in. We watched a video and it was nice. I had a good day.

We finish up the day with some snacks and some hanging out on our yoga mats. Took the ball downstairs to go home. Hung out on the hill until everyone was picked up. And I was able to leave at like 3:45.

The bus took a little while and it was really hot out. Just so heavy and humid. And that's because rain was coming. When I was getting off the bus it wasn't raining at. And when I got to my bike it wasn't raining yet. But about two blocks down the street it was starting to rain. At first it was just light. And I thought I would be able to make it home. But then it started to pour. Just absolutely downpouring on me. It felt nice but there was lightning and a lot of wind. The few other people I saw outside trying to get stuff together and run in for looking at me with the same Panic I'm sure was on my face. I was soaked to the skin. But it was just funny at that point. There was nothing else I could do so I just went upstairs and told James to take my off of the day photo. Because it was funny. And then I took a shower.

James to pick up pizza for dinner. He seeing Hamilton with his parents and sister tonight. Which is great because it's the anniversary of the Duel at Weehawken. That's amazing. I don't know if it was on purpose but it's great. So he hung out with me for an hour and then went to go have dinner with them. And I've just been hanging out at home.

I worked on my Furby project for a little while. I've been watching videos and playing with sweetpea. Sweetpea loves pipe cleaners so he was very excited about those. I painted my toenails and now I think I'm going to get up and maybe go do something but I have no idea what my eyebrows? Play with my makeup? Who knows!

Tomorrow is the last day of camp for the week. 5 days is very hard. I do not like working 8 hours. I love my job it's very easy. But it is still a lot. I don't think I was built to work eight hours a day. I am a baby. But it's going to be a good day. I'm slightly concerned about the project tomorrow because I'm not positive we have the right materials for it. But still going to be fun. And then me and James are going to go see to Apartments. It was nice. But they're both of Mount Vernon and we're both really kind of committed to moving to Bolton Hill now. So we'll see what happens we'll make it work. I'm excited to see places because it gives us some good perspective of what the other wants. We both are pretty sure we want the same things and we know what the other one likes but it's still fun. Even if we're not going to rent these ones.

Hope you guys all have a good night. I'm sending you all Good Vibes through the universe. Sleep well. Be safe. Try not to get rained on.

[rainyrowan]

Sunkissed - Chapter 2

description: Wedding of the century rolls around as the previous college clique, along with the rest of their family members, stay in preparation for it. During this time, Riley meets Lucas, a gorgeous, green-eyed wallflower who happens to be immediately taken by her. Little did she know, he has a deep secret. One that will either change her views on him forever or make her feel closer to his world.

word count: 2,801

pairings: riley x lucas

Song: Troublemaker by Olly Murs (Ft. Flo Rida)

chapter two; lucas

"Please stop!" I pleaded. As much as I've begged for him to stop, he wouldn't. He kept going.

He began walking towards my mother. Her eyes were filled with so much sorrow and fear that it was too painful for me to even look at her. She quickly scurries over to me. "Lucas, listen to me. You need to leave, okay? Aubrey is in the basement downstairs. Take her with you and go as far away from here as you can." She whispers, but he then grabs her from behind and pushes her up against the wall.

I couldn't bear to see him do this. Again. "STOP HURTING HER!" I yell. He turns around and stares at me with his bloodshot eyes. In that very moment, I was ready for whatever would happen next. He lets out a drunken chuckle before taking a swing at me.

Like always, he doesn't stop. He only kept going.

Punch.

Kick.

Hit.

"No," I whimpered. I couldn't take him. I was too weak."No..."

"NO!" I suddenly jerk up, panting. I feel the sweat dripping down from my forehead. "Just a dream," I whisper to myself repeatedly. The same dream I've been getting for the longest time.

I glance over at my clock. Too early. I graciously plopped back down and wrapped myself in my covers.

I think I had a good ten minutes before someone came knocking on my door.

"Lucas," a voice from behind it says softly. Knowing who it is and why I'm being awakened so early, I ignore it.

"Hey, buddy. It's six-thirty, we've got a flight to catch." I feel a hand rub my back, but I still continue to ignore. "Fine! If this is how you want it-" All of a sudden, I hear footsteps skid across my floor before a crushing weight falls on top of my chest.

"Ow!" I cry as my eyes flung open to see my Aunt Rachel seated on top of me. What a goof.

"You know, that really wasn't necessary!" I say looking up at her.

"Um, it really was! I've been trying to wake you up three times already." She exclaims, getting off.

We're supposed to fly to California today in preparation for my Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jack's wedding. It's safe to say that Aunt Rachel is very, very excited. Apparently, they're hiring these two wedding planners, who were their close friends from college, to help them plan and run everything. However, their timing isn't really the best. Due to Uncle Jack's schedule complications, they had to move the wedding earlier than anticipated. Earlier as at the end of this week. How they're going to plan this whole ceremony in one week, I don't know. But, I'm quite certain that with Aunt Rachel around, they can surely do it. She's always been a believer of the fact that if you really put your mind to something, you can accomplish it. And she has. I've seen her done miraculous things with this mindset. She's someone I surely look up to.

I finally find all the strength to pull myself out of bed. "Is Aubrey ready?" I ask.

"Yes, sir. As a matter of fact, we all are. So, if you don't hurry, I will literally beat your ass!" She jokes, leaving my room. I let out a chuckle as she shuts the door behind her. She may be my aunt, but she treats me like a little brother on a day to day basis.

I quickly peel off my sleepwear and put on a pair of jeans, along with a black hoodie. I then grab my stuff before leaving the room.

The smell of freshly cooked bacon and eggs greeted me as I entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Lucas! Your food's right over there." Uncle Jack points over to the plate next to my little sister, who is currently inhaling her breakfast. I laugh at the sight. Can't blame her, though. Uncle Jack never fails to delight our taste buds.

"Hi, Aubrey," I say, setting my bags down and taking a seat next to her. Still chewing, she smiles up at me in response.

I dig into my delicious meal as Uncle Jack sits in front of me. "You know, you didn't have to make us breakfast. We could've grabbed Starbucks at the airport or something."

"Well, I just-"

Out of nowhere, Aunt Rachel storms into the kitchen, picking up all our stuff. "Okay! I'll be bringing our bags downstairs since the cab will be arriving any minute now. Hurry up and finish your food! We don't have all day, so chop chop!" She yells. Before I could even offer any help, she's already out the door.

"As I was saying, I feel bad for leaving you two with all that craziness." Uncle Jack jokes. I let out a soft chuckle.

Uncle Jack mentioned something about this huge conference going on for his company, which takes place this week. So, he won't be coming to California until two days before the wedding. He really tried getting out of it, but it just impossible. I felt bad for him, of course, but all I could really think about is how on earth are we all going to survive this crazy week.

Aunt Rachel pokes her head into the apartment door. "Cab's here!" Uncle Jack quickly dashes over to her and grabs her arm. He spins her around so she's facing him, then plants a kiss on her lips. Smooth.

"You think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye?"She gushes.

"I guess it'd be a little out of character of you if you did."

"I'll miss you," He whispers, pulling her into a hug. "Take care."

"You too." She pulls away and kisses him once again. They're honestly so perfect for one another. Why didn't get married sooner?

Uncle Jack then picks up Aubrey and showers her with my more kisses. "You have fun, my little princess." It means the world to me that he loves her, loves us, this much. From the very first day we moved in with them, Uncle Jack, in particular, seemed far more understanding of our situation.

"And you," He turns to me. "I know how you are with others." I already know where this is going.

"Look, the people you're about to visit- They're our family. They mean more to us than anyone would ever know. Please don't push them away, shut yourself out, or anything else along those lines. They're special, so I expect you to keep an open mind throughout this trip, alright?"

He's not in the wrong for saying all this. Past experiences have allowed me to disconnect from the world, even with the people around me. I just find it so hard to trust people. Only ones I've ever really trust are them. They were my only family after all.

I purse my lips, offering him a slight nod.

"Good." He says, pulling me into a hug. He pats my back before letting go.

"Alright, I don't want to keep you guys for too long." Uncle Jack smiles. "So, take care."

Once we've all said our goodbyes once again, we finally head out the building and into the taxicab that had been waiting for us. Aunt Rachel gives the address to the driver before we head straight to the airport.

- - -

California isn't really that far from Seattle, which is pretty convenient on my end because Aubrey absolutely hates plane rides. She threw a massive tantrum at first, but I managed to tame it. I spent the whole two hours of the flight trying to calm her down but cradling her in my arms whilst telling her multiple stories. Nothing too bad.

Once we exited the gate, a woman instantly spots us and starts running towards us. Aunt Rachel dropped her bags and ran towards her as well.

"Angela!" She exclaims, pulling her into an embrace.

"How are you, sweetheart? What have you been up to?"

"The usual. Oh, no big deal, but I also got engaged!" She pulls away to show off her hand with the engagement ring Uncle Jack gave her. They both squealed.

Angela then turns to smiles at me. "You must be the infamous Lucas Friar. I've heard a lot about you." Great. Someone else who knows about my awful past. She pulls me into a hug as I shoot Aunt Rachel a despising glare. "Sorry!" She mouths silently.

"Infamous, I am," I mumble, pulling away. I already hate this.

Angela turns to Aubrey in awe. "Oh! Who might you be, you gorgeous one?"

"My name is Aubrey." She says sweetly. Angela places her hands over her chest, turning to Aunt Rachel. "She's adorable!"

Aunt Rachel smirks. "Takes after me, obviously!"

"Well, we better get going. Cory and Topanga are really excited to see you." Angela says. She offers to carry Aubrey's stuff as we walk out of the airport and into the parking lot.

"Oh my gosh. I miss them so much," Aunt Rachel beamed, getting into Angela's minivan. "How are they?"

Sticking the key in the ignition, Angela laughs. "They're doing great. And Riley, oh my goodness! She's growing up to be an absolutely beautiful woman."

"You're kidding?! Last time I saw her, she was only a little baby!" Aunt Rachel gasped.

"It can't be that long! She's practically running the flower shop!"

"Who's Riley?" Aubrey asks out of curiosity.

"Honey, Riley is the daughter our friends," Aunt Rachel explains.

Angela turns to look at me. "Yeah, and she's about Lucas' age." She winks. Everyone in the car giggles. I silently roll my eyes.

The last thing I need is to have a thing with some California girl that I would probably never see again after this trip.

- - -

One thing that I worried about before this trip was how much I'd miss the city. I was pretty much born and raised there. I've never really gone anywhere else. Although, I have to admit- The drive to Cory and Topanga's, made me realize that it wouldn't be much on an issue. Apparently, they live alongside the beach, so the drive only consisted of beautiful beach scenery.

I focus on the clear blue water glistening as a handful of children run around the shoreline, ready to jump into the water. Other kids would stick around the far end to build sandcastles. Aubrey would surely have fun. I thought, planning to take her as soon as we've settled in.

As we drove closer and closer to the beach, I also happen to spot a ton of girls. I don't really think that much of them. As a matter of fact, I try my very best to avoid them as much as possible. Back in the city, a lot of them would practically throw themselves at me. Sometimes I wonder if they've still got their dignity or if they even had it in the first place.

Most girls here on the beach were either sunbathing or taking photos. Although, there was one who caught my eye. She obviously stood out since she was doing neither of those things. Even though we were close enough to where I could still get a good look at her, I couldn't capture a glimpse of her face.

Unlike the others, she was sitting on a rock by the shoreline. She had on a maroon sweater as her long brown curls flowed behind her. She was staring off into the ocean. She also had a camera by her side. Probably a photographer. I think to myself.

We finally pull up in front of what seems to be a flower shop called The Floral Boutique. According to Aunt Rachel, The Floral Boutique is a family business which is currently run by Topanga.

My eyes then fixate over to Ever After, a bridal shop which looks like it's connected to The Floral Boutique. From what I've heard, both Angela and Topanga co-own this business together. Topanga must be some kick-ass woman for being involved with two businesses.

With our bags, we all walk into The Floral Boutique. Behind the counter, a man looks up at us with a smile. "Well, I'll be damned!" He exclaims.

"Cory!" Aunt Rachel yells, offering him a hug. "This is my niece, Aubrey, and my nephew, Lucas."

He bends down to shake Aubrey's hand. "Nice to meet you, sweetheart!"

His gaze then leads to me. Cory stands up and folds his arms. "What are you, like 20?" He asks.

"No, sir." I laugh. "I'm 17."

Cory gasps."BOYZ!"

I tilt my head in confusion as he brings his face closer to mine. "What are you doing?" I mumble.

"Just examining your facial structure," He answers casually. Once he steps back he turns to my aunt. "He's too perfect! He shall remain five feet away from my daughter at all times." Riley.

Angela scoffs. "Don't even, Cory."

"Yeah," Aunt Rachel says. "Lucas is a wonderful guy."

I press my lips together. I don't know why everyone's insisting on anything, rather, why we're even talking about this. I truly have no desire to start something up with anyone this week.

"Rachel?" Someone calls out from the back room. All eyes fall on her as she approaches us.

"Oh my god. Topanga." Aunt Rachel says with a smile.

Based on appearance, I could already tell that she is a bad-ass woman. She just seems so... Strong. Like a fierce Amazon warrior type.

After a few short minutes of rekindling with one another and greeting Aubrey for the first time, she turns to me. I've never really met her, at least I don't think I have. About ready to introduce myself, she stops me.

"You're Lucas Friar."

"We've met?" I asked.

"Well, you probably don't remember me," She pauses. "But, yeah. We have. A long time ago, though. You were probably about this tall." Topanga levels her hand by her hip. Then her eyes fall on me once again. "I know all about you," She says casually. Okay, so does everyone know about me?! I slightly clench my jaw, planning on making a comment on that fact. However, Topanga speaks before I could.

"You're really brave." She smiles before walking back to everyone else. No one's ever told me that before. Because I've had such a horrible past, no one seems to want to fully acknowledge anything about it. If they do, it would usually be more of a negative remark, which is why I definitely preferred it being that way. Although, I do feel just slightly better about myself after hearing Topanga's comment.

Everyone follows her and Angela as they offer to give us a tour of both shops. I quietly tap Aunt Rachel on the shoulder.

"Hey, is it okay if I head off for a bit?" I ask.

"What? Lucas-"

"Please, I want to go explore the beach." I plead.

"Well, alright." She says hesitantly.

I subsequently slip away from everyone and head out of the shop. The scent of saltwater lingers through the air, which evidently brings a smile to my face as I make my way down to the shore.

As I was walking, I glance at three girls who were staring at me, giggling. Not wanting to have to deal with any more of that, I throw my hood on and hang my head down. I continued to walk like this whilst my peripheral vision focuses on the sand beneath me. This goes on for a bit before I bump into someone. I look up and I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was her.

The girl in the maroon hoodie. Well, now looking at it, a Harvard hoodie. She was standing right in front of me.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She apologizes.

For a moment, I am unable to breathe. Instead of responding as a normal person would, I just looked at her. My gaze fell upon her chocolate brown eyes, that I surprisingly found quite mesmerizing. This can't be happening. Snap out of it, Lucas. I shake my head.

"It's okay," I mumble before heading off. For some reason, I still felt her stare. I had a feeling she was still watching me. I kept walking long enough so that when I turned around to look back at her, she was already heading her way.

What just happened?

[pbandjesse]

I'm really tired. Everyone was very surprised I came to work today was how badly injured I am. Honestly I probably could have stayed home but it's not like I didn't have a good time at work. It was a really good day. I am tired.

I slept good last night. I woke up once but I wasn't as freaked out and sleeping with the eye mask on definitely helps. I got up with my alarm at 7:30 and got dressed and felt very cute. I love my outfit today. It was only like 75 degrees out so I actually could wear sleeves and that was nice. It also helped protect my arm a little bit. The one. My elbow is pretty raw. And it hurts to bend and pick up stuff but we survived.

I had waffles for breakfast and then I headed to work. Kenneth set up tables and I unfold a chair since I couldn't pick anything up really. Honestly doing the chairs kind of hurt my arm but I was okay. The Cannery was fun but we had a big stressful moment because the person who was supposed to be doing the printmaking was an hour late. So nothing was set up and we didn't realize until right as the kids were getting there and I really shouldn't have moving to process so I had to do my best but then I got upset because I was in pain and I yelled down and somebody had to come up and do it because I was just so frustrated.

The Cannery went good. The kids were really sweet. And I stumble on my words a few times during The Company Store but mostly it was very good.

I got a half hour break. I eat my rice and chilled. And then I gave my door. There was a little bit of a problem because we ran into the neighborhood tour but it all worked out. Again I had some trouble talking because are being distracted and being in pain but at the end of the parent on my tour said that she liked it a lot and then I did a really great job and she just kept telling me how nice it was. I love giving Forest there. Just good because I have two in a row tomorrow.

I left there at 12:30 and just missed the bus as I was coming up the hill. A sweet old man was sitting on the bench and he told me he was mostly blind and asked if I could tell him when the 80 bus came. And I said of course and we talked about how nice the weather was and then his bus came. And thankfully mine came just a couple minutes after. I was texting chelsi that would be late and she told me I shouldn't even come because she was worried about me. But honestly I wanted to go see the school nurse. I don't know when you need to go to the doctor. I feel like no one ever taught me that and I just feel like I'm bothering people or it's a waste of time. When I was a kid we never went to the doctor unless we were dying. My dad didn't go until after he was done having shingles. I don't have good references for this. So I got to school and I went to the school nurse and she told me that it looks bad but it's going to keep spreading. But the blood vessels are going to spread out and then lighten. She said if it gets really bad in the next couple days like it swells up or I get a hard knot somewhere else on my leg that I should be concerned and then go to the doctor. But she said that it doesn't look that bad All Things Considered. She said it looks bad. And everyone else agreed. Because all day and that's all I had to hear. I told the story what happened like 75 times today. But I was good.

I picked up the kids and I got lots of hugs which is really what I wanted today. I was talking to Marcus and joking about that. Everyone kept saying that they would have stayed home if they were made but for real what was I going to do. Lay here and be sad. I'd rather be at work and be safe. We spend the kids will come and give me hugs and that's always nice.

We made mosaics today. Every day this week, which is just tomorrow and Wednesday, will introduce a different project that the kids have requested. So it was nice to be able to kind of come together and have options and tomorrow add more options to the board of what they can make and it's just going to be good.

We had a nice time at recess and dinner was fine. There was some conflict with one of the staff members because she thought we were taking up too many tables and kept trying to tell her this is where we always sit and she disagreed with us and I just didn't even get into it with her I'd let Chelsea handle it. I just couldn't deal with that today.

But art was really fun and I was very proud of the kids. And it was a fairly quick day. At the end of the day I ended up staying behind because one of my students parents was just really concerned. She was really worried about how they're communication is with her daughter and she doesn't know what to do. Apparently they live in a neighborhood where the girl can sleep through anything until there's gunshots. And then she freaks out and can't sleep. I don't blame her. But she doesn't feel like they can talk to each other. So I suggested they do a mommy and me Journal where they can talk to each other through that. Where it's a judgement free zone and they can get things out. Maybe it'll help. I felt really bad and I wish there was something I could have done more for them. I really like the girl. But I understand where mother is coming from and it's really hard. For everybody.

When I got outside I had to run for the bus. But he didn't make me pay for it so that was cool. And then I got back to my bike and went up to James's place.

He made me a pizza bagel. And we hung out until all of the D&D people got there. First time in almost three months! It's been too long since I've seen all of them. But it was nice to be around other people for a bit. I got to try fancy Japanese Kit Kats because one of them had just gotten back from Japan. It was really fun.

As their game got started though I headed out. Said goodbye to everyone. Tentatively told Jordan that we may still be able to go to his birthday. But I'm not sure if we're going back to Philly for Father's Day and now so who knows what's going on there. And then I came back home.

Where I became crazy angry because again the new people next door locked the back gate. So I couldn't get into my Ally. So I couldn't get into my apartment. I had to go all the way around the block to the front drag my bike in through the door where it does not fit. And go back into my apartment. I went outside and I kicked the fuck out of that gate. I broke that lock right off which is what I told them I was going to do. I gave them a warning that if they locked me out of my apartment again I would remove the lock and I was serious. If they do it again I will remove the door. I cannot wait to not live in this apartment anymore because those people next door have ruined it for me. Besides any issue I had in this apartment as soon as they moved and they have made everything around here miserable. They put trash in the alleyway they let their dog shit everywhere and they lock me out of the place I live. They do not own that public shared space. And it is ridiculous that I have to continue to ask not to be locked out. I told them to put on a type of gate where you can open it from both sides they didn't listen. I had my dad fix the gate so that it would stay closed when that broke I fixed it. And then when it broke again their maintenance people fixed it and out of the second one that broke her most immediately. The spring is still whole and that should be good enough. If it is not you guys can then put on a different piece I am not fixing it again. It is so crazy to me that they think that they can lock that gate when I live here. They know they're not the only ones that can get through that gate and it is insanity. I will not put up with it anymore.

But after I did that I calm down. They will not lock me out again so there's that. So I felt better. I brought Sweet Pea inside and I went and took a shower. My new dress came that I got on eBay it fits me great and I feel super cute in it. And basically the rest of my day has been great. I'm very sleepy. I'm going to go have a snack and then I'm going to brush my teeth and go to bed. I have double doors tomorrow and then teaching at the school. I think it's going to be an excellent day. James has his second interview and I'm very excited for him. I hate that it's on the phone for him because that sounds horrible but I hope that it goes well. He's such a good boy and he deserves to get this job. And I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep well everyone. Be safe out there.

[pbandjesse]

I'm feeling kind of low tonight. The bruise on my leg has spread and become one giant bruise. So I had to call the doctor. I actually did it on the app and spoke to a nurse. And send a picture. And they told me to call. And I did. And they said I should come in. So I'm going to the doctor on Thursday. Everyone is very excited. Because they've been telling me all day today and all day yesterday to go to the doctor and I was being stubborn. Mostly I was being scared. But it's getting too bad.

Honestly I just feel very tired. Today was a long day. I slept okay last night and I woke up what's my alarm. I got dressed and had a bowl of cereal. And then I went to the museum. I was a couple minutes early and check the tour route. It was kind of a annoying day because the schools were early and that through off the tour is and then no one seemed to know where people were supposed to be and I was listening to my manager and other people weren't it was a whole thing. I don't know why everything got so confused but it was fine. Just obnoxious to kind of have to Vamp when there's that many tours happening.

But I survived. I collected more of the cardboard squares from upstairs and put them in a box and jam to the box in my bike basket and went to the bus.

While I was on the bus I got to do a survey from the Metro about how the service is. And I told them that my biggest complaint is sometimes three buses will come all next to each other. And what should happen when the buses but up against each other like that is that everyone should get off the other two boxes onto one. The other two buses should wait. And then get themselves back on schedule. Because right now they're not running on any schedule at all it seems and even the app doesn't know when they're coming. That's ridiculous.

Then I got to school only a couple of minutes late. It was all good. I had my pizza that I picked up at 7-Eleven and went to find Chelsea. We talked about what we were going to do that day and made some plans. It was all good. We were both kind of sad that we're not going to Six Flags on Friday anymore but it'll still be a fun day with the little kids.

In general today was a good day. We got our students and it was a small class. Everybody came upstairs and got right into their working. We went outside it's beautiful. Al is brought these very strange four wheeled skates that were wheeled in the front, two 9n the sides, and one in the back. But like me she felt that the basketball court was the safest and flattest place that she could do it. So I rode around on my skateboard and she worked on her roller skates. And it was a lot of fun.

We had dinner and cleaned up and then Chelsea went to the classroom to kind of set up stations for art making. The boys worked on mosaics. Specifically they wanted to make tiny laptops. Which was very cute. Damien made a puppet. Couple of the girls worked on mosaics again with the stones and the beads. Everyone was so excited about how many squares I brought. Literally a thousand. And then Dallas was running a marbling paper station.

I had never marble paper before. So I told Dow she was going to be in charge of this project. And it first that was fine. They each had containers they put Smokes on that use the shaving cream and food coloring to create patterns and then there's paper in it. But then about a half way through the class they all just started making foam color. That's fine. Make some sensory art. I don't care. What a dick Carol was when they started pouring it into each other's containers. Because then it started getting on the floor. And then start getting on all of them. Somehow they used an entire gallon of paint. She was wild how much paint they use. It didn't go horribly but it was a huge mess at the end and I kept telling Dallas that this was her project and so she was responsible. And she kept saying but it wasn't me. And I kept trying to explain to her that even if it wasn't her she was responsible because it was her project. So she got them off and she mop the ground. China helped. And everyone work together as best we could but it was hard because so many people are getting picked up early. We did our best but it took almost 40 minutes to clean the classroom.

I got upset though because while we're cleaning I am losing steam. My leg was hurting and my arm was hurting. During the art time I had called the nurse to make the appointment so I was kind of emotionally drained from that as well. And then two of my kids come back in because their grandmother was upset that they had paint on them. And that she was saying I had to do their laundry. And that how dare I let them get so dirty and stained. Are you serious question mark this is an art class! Like why would you sign up your kids to be in our class and be upset that they have paint on them. Everyone is going to have paint on them it's going to happen it's our class. If you don't want to let them get dirty put them in aftercare. It made me so incensed that after all the kids were gone I stayed behind with chelsi that we can have a meeting with Tiffany. She told me not to worry about it and that she agreed it was a ridiculous comment and she was not happy about it either. That made me feel listen to at least. And then I told her the story of what happened with my accident because my bruise has gotten so bad and Chelsea kept yelling at me because I hadn't gone to the doctor. And Tiffany was shocked that I didn't go as well. She said that I should have stayed home. And honestly I don't disagree but I also feel like yesterday it wasn't that bad. I was sore and stiff but the bruise wasn't as outrageous as it is today. James really thinks that I have some kind of hematoma but I'm very concerned because there is a hard lump next to the impact point now and I am having weird numbness in my leg. It really is the craziest bruise I've ever seen on my body. And that's fairly upsetting but I'm trying not to be too upset.

Because I was leaving later than normal I texted James to see if we're going to have dinner and he wanted to go and get a burger at the marketplace. So I'm going to get the bus and as I'm crossing the street Marcus and Miss Elaine honk their horn at me and they gave me a ride back to my neighborhood. Just as we were getting to Rite Aid James was walking up the street and so they were yelling out the car at him and waving. It was very cute. It was good to see him.

I did feel in better spirits today. But I think I'm emotionally I'm dealing with a lot and that's hard. We walk to my apartment and stopped for a few minutes to feed sleepy. And then we went to Mount Vernon Marketplace for dinner. We got burgers and we shared fries. He told me about his interview which apparently went really well. I have very high hopes but we keep everything realistic just in case. It would be so good for him. And I really want him to feel happy and secure. All I ever want it's for him to feel that way.

But we had a really nice dinner and then we came back here. I kind of had it anxiety Spike about moving because there's not a ton we can move right now. A lot of the stuff in the apartment is things that I just need to feel happy and comfortable here. He did bring one bag over and my piggy bank. So at least something got moved in the trip wasn't wasted and that's really what I was upset about. We also made a list of what things are going to his place what things are going to his parents place and what things are coming back to my parents place. That helped a lot.

He went home and I took a shower. And now I'm just laying in bed watching videos. I'm going to go get an ice pack and try to get some rest. My arm is hurting me and tomorrow's going to be another long day. The plan for tomorrow is Museum in the morning then hopefully I get to the school and have time to do some cleaning and organizing. I really want to get a lot of the stuff that's on the cart off the cart so that we don't have to think about it on Thursday and Friday. And then rest. That's all I want.

I hope you guys all have a good night. Send me some good vibes because I feel sad. And stressed. Good night everyone