#could also just be bc it was late at night after working a 12 hour shift lmao that shit will fuck w ur brain

[lazyfox411]

.

[myseungsunglove]

The Mystery of You | Bc

Pairing: Chan  x Reader 

Warnings: language, mildly suggestive

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Chan and the reader really start to get to know each other over the course of the six days that span the time from their first connection to their fated meeting in LA. The reader also gets introduced to two other members of Stray Kids and starts to form a bond with them as well. Tensions between the reader and Chan are growing as the impending meeting at KCon approaches closer. 

A/N: Part 2. For The Master of Flirting - It’s important to note that I will take into account Korean Standard time, I will be writing this part where all of the events take place during Central Standard Time. Also, this one really got away from me, but I really wanted to build that bond between Chan and the reader and create some tension before they meet in LA. Part 3 is gonna be a DOOZY so prepare yourselves, babes!  I hope you guys like this one. It took me a lot to get the details all ironed out but it felt necessary. Next stop, LA!

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Feedback Welcome

「© August 20, 2023 by mysweethannie」

Tags: @hoeinthehouse @drhsthl @chrizzlaptop @dna-black-and-blue @lynlyndoll @hufflepuffanddurinsdaughter @staychansworld @slut4colinbridgerton @spearb-99

Sunday, August 13th

Chan called back as promised to let you know the details of your trip. He had literally taken care of everything. Your flight was due to land in LA Saturday at 12:00 pm. It was a pretty quick flight, only three and a half hours. Your hotel room had been booked and would be right down the hall from the boys. Chan told you that your room would be right next to his. He had your backstage clearance for KCon. You were going to get to stick close to the boys while they prepared and then be escorted out to a prime spot in the audience for the performance itself on Sunday night. You couldn’t believe all of this was happening. You had the time off for work which with their KCon performance falling on a Sunday, you wouldn’t need to take any time from the week before. You had taken the entire week after off, just as a safeguard. 

After the details of the trip were solidified, you convinced Chan to get some rest. It was getting late for him. You figured he wouldn’t actually go right to sleep, but you didn’t want to be the reason he wasn’t rested. He could make his own choices outside of that. He knew his body and his needs. 

Monday, August 14th

The morning of Monday, August 14th, things spiraled even more in this whole bizarre occurrence that you were still wrapping your head around. Chan had introduced you to both Han and Seungmin. The amount of time that you talked about Han and Seungmin to Chan when you guys really started talking on Sunday night after Chan got some rest was a little embarrassing. You had admitted to him that the three of them, him, Han, and Seungmin had been your first biases, and he asked you just about every question he could think about regarding that. 

Chan thought the idea of a bias was intriguing and to hear about what it meant to you really fascinated him.You explained to him that for you, having a Stray Kids bias was never about a physical attraction, but rather a soul connection, at least on your part. You had been drawn to Han immediately through exposure to the Maniac performances popping up on your FYP. He was what got you into picking a few more Stray Kids songs. Maniac was your first love and Han’s performances of that song had just blown you away. The more you listened, Chan’s vocals in the background of the chorus had sent you into orbit. You didn’t know who these guys were at the time, but you were weak for their voices. You wouldn’t say at the time you biased Han or Chan because you honestly had no clue what a bias was then and really outside of their musical talent in that one song, you knew nothing about them. More was needed for a soul connection. That connection had only come once you actually started learning more about the group as a whole. Chan and Han were immediately your favorites and it wasn’t long before Seungmin and his heavenly vocals had snaked their way into your heart as well. 

Chan had shared your first singing video shortly after this conversation of biases with both Seungmin and Han because he thought it was really something special the way you had explained what having a bias meant for you. It had resulted in the two of them messaging you separately almost immediately after he told you he showed them. Chan had shared your number with both boys unbeknownst to you.

Monday, August 14 - 9:00 AM CST

Seungmin: First of all, it must be said that you absolutely don’t suck so never say that again. Second of all, Hello, I’m Seungmin of Stray Kids, and I think your voice is incredible. 

Han: As soon as we get a moment in LA, we’re gonna sit down and record some tracks. You’re so fucking talented, and if I don’t sample your voice, I may die. So now you can’t say no. Also, hi I’m Han. 

These messages had both appeared moments from each other and you just sat and stared at your phone, absolutely dumbfounded. There was no way this was your life. You had started a conversation with both men, and it was like you had been friends with them for years. You had messaged with them and even talked on the phone with each of them a time or two over the next few days. The soul connection you had felt with these three once you had really gotten to know them when learning about Stray kids had proven to be more correct than you imagined once you really started talking to them and actually connecting. They say you pick your biases because you are like them in some way, and the more you talked with these three, the more you saw that you had a little bit of each of them in you. 

However, the connection with Chan was deeper than with the other two. You were so much like Han and Seungmin in different ways so the conversations with them flowed easily mostly about music, but some about your interests and hobbies. But you were different enough from Chan that it’s like there was a tether connecting the two of you. A magnet drawing the two of you closer, both of you seeking the other out without even thinking twice about it. Endless topics of conversation flowing between the two of you as you got to know each other. You talked about everything from your pets to what you’d be doing with your life if you had been born in another time. 

Eventually the topic of the second song you found of Stray Kids came up. This was the song that would eventually lead you to want to learn more about the group, so Chan had to know more about which one it was and why. The second song you were obsessed with was “Red Lights”. Chan really perked up at that, but when you told him you still had no idea who anyone in the group was at the time that you started listening to it, but you just really vibed with the song and that one voice in particular made your knees go weak. It’s when Chan had really got on your radar and had driven you to eventually start learning about the group. He had definitely asked more questions about wanting to know who had driven you to find out more about stray kids.

Monday, August 14 11:00 PM CST

Bang Chan: One voice in particular, yeah? Mine or Hyunjin’s? 

You could almost hear the smirk in his voice even though you were messaging. He knew from previous conversations that you were absolutely in love with his voice, but there was a part of him that needed to hear you pick him over Hyunjin. You knew that wasn’t something that happened very often for him. 

Y/N: *video sent* 

In the video, you had set up the camera so that you were sitting on the corner of your bed, your fairy lights illuminating the background behind you in a soft, deep crimson. One knee was pulled up close to your chest, your right elbow perched on it as you looked into the camera and began singing. 

I cannot breathe without you being right by side, I’ll die

So can you please come over closer 

Hold me tight, right now

You had run your hands through your hair, looking a little desperate as you sang the first line. You knew exactly what you were doing and you felt daring and empowered. 

Don’t show that to Han and Seungmin. That one is just for you.

Bang Chan: shit. 

Then there was radio silence for several minutes. It was long enough to make you really nervous, allowing your bravado to slip. As you were about to start sending a string of apologies about crossing a line you both weren’t ready for, you notice Chan typing in the chat again. 

Bang Chan: You are seriously one of the most talented women I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Damn. And fucking sexy as hell. 

You stared at the screen. Bang fucking Chan had just called you sexy. 

Bang Chan: Shit. I gotta go, darling. Busy day preparing to leave for Japan. I’ll call you tonight, yeah? Say, 11 pm KST? So 9:00 am Tuesday for you? I should be settled in Fukuoka by then. 

Y/N: Just gonna abandon me after saying that? 

Bang Chan: God. I know. Trust me, I’ll be lucky if I can focus all day. Plenty to dream about on the plane. 

Y/N: Good. Cause now I have to try to go to sleep with the thought that Christopher fucking Bang told me I was quote “fucking sexy as hell.” Also, I can’t believe Bang Chan just said he’s gonna dream about me on the plane. What is this life? 

Bang Chan: Ope. Using the full government name. *giggles* of course I’m going to dream of you. Have you seen you? Damn. But, I gotta go. Byeom, darling. 

Before you fell asleep you had received a message from Seungmin. 

Seungmin: I don’t know what you sent Channie Hyung, but he has now watched it an embarrassing amount of times, quickly puts it away when anyone tries to look over his shoulder, and is constantly beaming. You’ve got this old man whipped and he hasn’t even laid eyes on you in person yet. We’re in so much trouble when that happens. 

Seungmin: Also, Han and I have been working on what we want to sit down and record with you while we’re in LA. I’m so excited to share this with you! 

Y/N: And you’ll never know what I sent Chan. ;p Now keep those little puppy eyes to yourself, eh? ANYWAY, I’m so excited to get to sit down with you and Han and record. Like, I still can’t believe this is my life. 

Seungmin: First, eww. Second, leave my puppy eyes out of this. Third, it is your life, you deserve it from what I can tell so accept it and embrace, woman. 

Tuesday, August 15, 2023 6:00 AM CST

Han: I’m pretty sure I heard Channie Hyung mumbling your name in sleep on the plane. What kind of spell have you put on our leader? Also, I hope Seungmin told you about our plans because we are both so stoked. We’re having a hard time focusing on the stage we’re about to show in Japan. We’ll get in the headspace and I hope you love our stages. I know STAYS will end up sharing that shit far and wide, so you’ll have to tell me what you think! 

Y/N: I swear, you and Seungmin are both menace’s to society. Haven’t you ever heard of privacy? Hahaha And yes, Seungmin shared about your plans. I’m beyond excited. I hope your guys concert prep and concerts are a raging success, Hannie. You’re an absolute rockstar, no matter what so I have faith you’ll kill whatever you're putting on stage.

Han: What do you know? Just know that I’m eyeing you suspiciously. Did Chan tell you something? Seungmin and I are a dream team. You’re lucky to be the target of our attention and torture. It means we love you. 

Y/N: I don’t know a damn thing. Just look forward to getting to see whatever it is you’re hinting at. Also, aww what a twisted way to show you love someone. How cute. 

Han: You’re a mess, you know that? Take the love. Embrace it. Roll around in it. It’s not going away. Speaking of going away, I got shit to do even though it’s already like 8 pm. I’ll yell at you later, bro.

Y/N: Okay bro. Don’t forget to eat and drink and maybe sleep some in there too. 

Han: Okay, now you sound like Chan. BYE! 

Tuesday, August 15, 2023 9:00 AM CST

“Heya!” you chirped as you answered the phone. You were never this peppy in the morning, but since it was Bang Chan you had been up and around for hours anticipating another conversation on the phone with him. 

“Hey, darlin,” he said. He sounded as though he had an exhausting day. “Are you one of those crazy morning people?” He questioned seriously.

You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh hell no. I’ve just been up for hours because I had too much on my mind. And Han was texting me early this morning. I sleep like a degenerate, so we have that in common,” you teased.

“Hey,” he protested. 

“Come on, you know I’m right.I don’t know you that well yet, but I definitely know that.”

“It’s not fair because I still feel like I know so little about you,” he whined. You heard him plop back on his bed or onto a couch, you weren’t sure which. 

“To be fair, my every move isn’t all over YouTube for the whole world to see,” you countered. “I can’t imagine what that must be like.”

He sighed. “Honestly I kind of forget that all exists sometimes. I just try to focus on what’s in front of me. If I let that stuff get to be too bad, I lose track of my goals. I’ve been there before and I had to learn that the hard way,” he admitted. 

“Hmmm,” you responded, encouraging him to continue if he wanted. “Yeah, I can only imagine.”

“We’ll get to that depressing story another day, I want to talk about you,” he continued. “I haven’t stopped thinking about that video for a second today, by the way,” he confessed. 

“Yeah?” you asked. “I have it on pretty good authority that you maybe watched that video a couple dozen times,” you laughed. 

“Hell yeah,” he chuckled. “Wait, fucking Seungmin. I may have watched it several times back again and messed with putting your vocals into the track. Maybe,” he chuckled shyly. 

“Wow,” you whispered. “I don’t know what to say.” And you didn’t. You were at a loss for words with how obsessed with your voice he and the other two seemed to be. 

“You don’t have to say anything. Just don’t refute the compliment,” he said matter of factly. 

“Yes sir,” you smirked. You didn’t know how he would react to that, but you took the chance anyway. 

He cleared his throat and you heard him inhale deeply. “God, don’t start something we can’t finish, y/n,” he practically begged.

“And what would that be, Christopher?” you asked innocently.

He huffed again. “Baby girl, you talk like that and I’m gonna say things that I’d much rather say in person for the first time,” he admitted. 

You swallowed hard, a blush creeping up your neck. 

“Oh,” you let out. That answer had caught you by surprise. “I’ll behave,” you promised. “Scout’s honor.”

He chuckled at that. “You’re really gonna be the death of me. Tell me about your family and where you grew up,” he asked. “Distract me, but also, I want to know.” 

You proceeded to talk about where you grew up, what life was like growing up in the states, and learned that a lot of your raising wasn’t all that different from Chan’s despite being raised on the other side of the world. You looked at the clock and realized it was nearing noon.

“Whoa, Chan it’s late for you,” you said after you had stopped laughing about a story he had told you about him and his siblings when they were younger. 

“Eh, I’ve done much worse,” he said dismissively. “Hell this is early,” he added. 

“You have a concert tomorrow,” you said. “Don’t work too hard. I know you know your boundaries.”

“Thanks darlin’.”

“Of course, Channie.” 

“I like that coming from you,” he confessed, a shy chuckle emitting from him. Sometimes you couldn’t believe that this shy guy was the same one who was flirting with you earlier and talking about not finishing what you started. 

“I should probably go, anywway. Do something other than talk for hours to this cute guy I just met.”

“Oh, you should tell me about him next time,” Chan laughed. “Sounds interesting. 

“Shut up,” you laughed. “Talk later, yeah?”

“God, you’re already starting to sound like me,” Chan groaned. 

“To be fair, I’ve always sounded like this. I’m a midwesterner,” you joked.

“Whatever that means,” Chan teased like you hadn’t spent the better part of thirty minutes explaining to him what it was like living in the midwestern United States. 

“Eh, watch it.” 

“Go be productive, y/n,” he quipped.

“Ugh fine!” you relented. “Talk later.”

“G’day, darling.” 

“G’night, Channie.”

The next two days proved to be busy for the both of you, neither of you really getting the opportunity to talk on the phone long. You had text back and forth often, sometimes sending voice messages and videos, but neither of you had long enough to have an actual conversation. 

In the time that you had not had to talk with Chan, Han had been blowing up your phone with lyrics that he had written for you that he wanted you to record. He has even sent you a guide track. It was a beautiful piece that he and Seungmin had been working on together since Sunday in between their busy schedules. 

Wednesday, August 16 3:00 AM CST

Bang Chan: Okay, I know I’m about to go onstage for the first night in Fukuoka, but I had to tell you for the hundredth time I can’t wait until Saturday. I’m about as giddy as a school girl. You can ask any of the guys. I’m a fucking mess. hahahaha I’m sure you’re sleeping like a good girl. 

Y/N: Yah, focus on your performance. You’ve gotta blow away a bunch of STAYS with your charm and charisma, you can rizz me up AFTER the concert, eh? ;) and also, think again. If you’ve learned anything about me, I’m anything but good. ;)

Bang Chan: I’m running away now. I only have about an hour and I have shit to do before going on. Talk soon, darling. Oh and please don’t message Han or Seungmin. *runs away and hides*

Group Chat with Han & Seungmin

Seungmin: He’s red as a beat again. 

Han: I like when you talk to Chan, he becomes so much nicer. I can get away with so much more. Keep talking, I gotta go cause some chaos while I have the chance. 

Y/N: Don’t you dare, Han Jisung. You need to be focused on your performance too! What am, gonna become the resident mom of Stray Kids? Damn! 

Seungmin: eww, no. Not that. Anything but that. 

Y/N: Then go kick ass at this concert and stop bugging Chan! And hell, me too you little shits. 

Seungmin: Truce. 

Han: Truce. 

Y/N: Good. Now, get out there show those JStays what you’ve got. I’m so jealous, by the way. 

Seungmin: We’re both gonna make sure you get some specific footage from the concert tonight. You just can’t share it with anyone. 

Han: ooooo secret secrets are so amazing. 

Y/N: Damn, my life was really boring before Sunday. 

Seungmin: you’re welcome.

Han: Glad to be of service. *runs off and grabs electric guitar that won’t be used at all for the concert tonight* 

Y/N: Electric Guitar?!?!? Han Jisung you come back here. Are you play THE GUITAR IN JAPAN?! 

You didn’t hear back from either man until after the concert. Yes, Han had played the electric guitar on stage, and when he sent you a video that their manager himself had recorded for you, you thought you had died and gone to heaven. He also sent you Seungmin’s performance and then teased you about Chan’s saying that it was a conversation you’d have to have with him. He didn’t promise you anything from Chan. Han Jisung was an absolute menace, but man were you glad that you could say he was a part of your life now. It still didn’t feel real. 

Chan had sent you his performance as well. He’d called you immediately after the concertn on Thursday and there was a lot of flirty banter going on between you on that night. He teased you about how much he knew you were probably dying at his video and you sent him a video of you singing “Connected” that shut him right on up. You had recorded it Wednesday night randomly knowing it would probably come in handy as a good weapon against Chan. You weren’t wrong. 

“God damn, baby girl. Using my own song against me. Shit,” he breathed out. You could tell he was trying to hold himself together. 

“I’ve got plenty of weapons in my arsenal, babe. Don’t test me. If you do, better be ready for a fight,” you warned. 

“Oh I’m more than fucking ready,” he growled. 

“Sounds like someone needs to follow the advice of their own song,” you teased. “You know the part, “Diamond plated tension. Two minds, one direction. Craving the connection. Patience, babe.” you sang. 

He went onto sing the next line, his voice laced with desire that was unmistakable. 

“We’re pulling at each other like magnets. The rules are telling us to ignore them.Your moves they’re asking me for attention. Oh I’m losing it,” he sang back. 

“I swear to god, Saturday can’t get here quick enough, Chan,” you huffed, the heat rising on your skin. 

“Trust me, baby girl, I know. And on that note, I know this conversation wasn’t long enough, but I’ve gotta go,” he said. You could hear the anguish in his voice. 

“Man, okay. No yeah, I understand. I forget you’re an actual star sometimes,” you admitted. 

“I wish I could forget sometimes,” he mumbled. 

You chose to let it slide, knowing you didn’t have time to unpack that heavy statement at the moment. 

“We’re flying out early Friday and we’ll be in Korea for like no time at all before we are back on a plane to LA and then it’s time to see you,” he added. 

“Saturday can’t come quick enough,” you agreed. 

“It really can’t,” he echoed. “Alright, have a good rest of your Thursday, darlin’. I’ll text you when we’re heading to the airport. We’ll talk Friday about the details for Saturday, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Talk later.” 

“G’day darlin’” Chan said, his smile evident even though you couldn’t see his face. 

“G’night, babe,” you said and ended the all too short call. 

Just one day separated you from meeting this man and your heart was racing at the thought. You had no real idea what to expect, but you knew it was going to be a whirlwind the second you landed in LA. Sleep evaded you for a while as the prospect of meeting Chan and Stray Kids clouded your every thought. 

< Pt: 1 The Master of Flirting | Pt. 3 The Art of Meeting >

[lorenid]

Sleeping Habits

Genre: fluff, established relationship, domestic, idol chan

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning: anxiety/insomnia topic, light suggestive lines

Summary: Two 20 something year olds that can fall in love, but can’t fall asleep

A/N: Happy 5-STAR Comeback Day! It’s my first official comeback and I’m celebrating by streaming while finishing this short one-shot that I’ve been putting off since April. I didn’t proof read this at all, please let me know about any errors. Anyways… I’m back on my self indulgence, bc the world inside my head is better than my real world anyways, might as well make it a good one. Fun fact (that only I care about, but I like to over share): My bias for Chan started as soon as I read that he was born 1 year minus a day apart from me. Enough about my delusions, this is also my first time writing about SKZ so here goes nothing.

You arrive home exhausted after a 12 hour shift at the hospital you work at, tossing your heels at the entrance of the cozy apartment you share with Chan. 

“Honey, I’m home.” You say with a singing tone making your way to leave your belongings on the living room sofa so you don’t forget them the next morning. Checking the kitchen to put away some washed plates and glasses. 

“Hey, baby. Did you have a good day?” You hear him shuffling around before you see him, wearing his usual black shirt, black basketball shorts and socks. He kisses the crown of your head, engulfing you into a back hug, hands gripping your hips. Quickly turning you around giving you a sweet gentle kiss before you can even open your mouth to say a word. 

“Tiring but good, a lot of patients showed great progress today and that keeps me going. How about you, did you finish the track you were working on before I left?” You bend your arms to rub his back until your fingers squeeze his shoulders to release the tension moving along to the nape of his neck. 

After almost a year of living together you’re used to his habit of waking up, saying good morning with his groggy voice, sealing his greeting with a kiss and heading straight to the studio. Because he can’t do anything else before revising the work he did the night before listening with a fresh mind to get his genius creativity flowing. You do your morning routine and put down the breakfast beside his work desk, worried that he’ll forget to eat for a while if he’s consumed by the music. Sometimes he’s so excited about a song that he rambles trying to explain all the details of the arrangement, accidentally making you sprint to leave for work to avoid being late. Everyday you’re tempted to stay for a little bit longer just to appreciate his sparkling eyes talking about his new endeavors. 

“I did! I’ll share it with the kids tomorrow to get their feedback.” The kids aren’t really kids… well kinda. Since your relationship with Chan started they have teased him that if they could kick him out of they group they would just to have you as their leader. Specially Seungmin claiming that Chan is getting too old, even though you are closer in age to your boyfriend than him. But you wouldn’t dare to try to keep them apart, because they are his family and they have become yours too. 

“That’s amazing, I know they’ll love it! I have noticed that you’ve been working really hard these past few weeks. So hopefully you can get some rest.” Now you’re clinging to him putting most of your weight on him and he has no choice but drag you around. 

“Yeah I’m glad that is done. Honestly we both tend to overwork so much that when we have time for us we miss working, but when we are back to the routine we are exhausted.” The ultimate contradiction of you both being extreme perfectionists. He leans besides the fridge and you look up to him, his cute droopy eyes make you feel like you’re wrapped in a warm hug. 

“I really want us to do better about relaxing for our own sanity. It’s a work in progress.” You lift your hands to caress his dimples and cheeks with your thumb.  

“Speaking about that, should I make some tea and call it an early night?” He kindly offers, opening cabinets in search of mugs and the chamomile honey lemon tea packets.  

“Yes please! I’ll get out of these clothes and get ready for bed asap.” You’re endeared by his thoughtfulness as he makes a warm tea for him, but sets aside yours adding extra honey and putting it in the fridge because if it isn’t sweet and cold you make faces of disgust just by tasting a drop. 

“Do you need any help with that?” He checks you up and down with a cheeky smile, the clinking of the spoon swirling around the tea stopping for a brief second.  

“Um that would jeopardize our mission, sir.” You say it with a lower voice, rolling your eyes playfully and watch as he blushes and his ears turn a little bit red.  

“Oh… right.” He shakes his head as if he’s brushing away his suggestive thoughts. 

After taking a long hot shower, you change into a sweatshirt and comfy shorts sitting in front of the vanity desk and mirror. The hue of the night lights around the room setting the mood of relaxation, Chan spent an entire day setting them up and cutely annoying you changing the colors every second. You hear the door slightly open while you’re brushing your hair to prevent the frizz, it will probably get tangled anyways, but just doing this little things give you comfort. 

“What you doing?” He says softly peeking his head through the door, you turn and smile at him extending your arms signaling with your hands to come in. 

“Just brushing this crazy hair, did you wash up already?” You sigh exasperated grabbing the tea he prepared. 

“Yeah, I did before you came home.” He settles his mug besides yours as he quickly moves to the corner of the bed near you. Motioning to scoot closer to him and hand him the brush. 

“You’re the best.” He treats you with the type of care that makes you fall in love over and over again. 

“I’m not hurting you, right?” He asks, worry on his tone. Stopping to hear your answer before continuing, drinking the rest of his tea. 

“Not at all, you’re really good at this actually.” You reassure him because he loves doing this for you is turning into part of his night time routine. He finishes, running his fingers through your hair and kissing the crown of your head as you sip the last drops. 

A few minutes later after going to the bathroom to brush your teeth, you both slip under the blankets. Chan plays Pokemon while listening to his favorite playlist while you attempt to read a chapter of a book, but your mind always wonder to random things instead. 

“You know what we need?” Your out of the blue excitement makes him jump a little, holding on to your wrists because you hit his arm playfully asking for attention. 

“A rocking chair! Think about it, if its big enough we can both fit and take turns.” You start searching for them on the phone to show him different options.  

“Am I completely missing the point or does this sound a bit… naughty?” He stares deep into your eyes cocking his head to the side. 

“Get your head out of the guter! Its another technique to fall asleep we could try. When I was little my grandma used to hold me and I was out like a light after swaying for a bit.” You gently slap the side of his head as if that would solve anything and he laughs.  

“Well, we can definitely try.” He stands up to turnoff the lights, getting back to the bed you pat the space in front of you to cuddle him. You wrap him in a hug crossing your arms on his back moving your hands to rock him a little as if you were on the rocking chair. He lets out a deep breath aligning his head with yours, welcoming the comfortable silence.   

“A la nanita nana, nanita nana, nanita ella, mi niño tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea.” He raises his eyebrows surprised by your singing, but he doesn’t say anything worried that you’ll stop. It’s a famous Hispanic lullaby that at first was intended as a Christmas song about Jesus, but it passed down from generation to generation to help children fall asleep.

“A la nanita nana, nanita nana, nanita ella, mi Channie tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea.” You gently stroke between his eyes and down his nose with your pinky finger. He gives you a soft smile with his eyes closing like crescent moons when he hears his nickname. 

“I’m not fair that I’m drifting away while you sing like an angel. I wish I could rush to the studio and record your voice so I can listen to it on loop when I’m away on tour and imagine that you’re there beside me.” He has confessed before that he struggles to find comfort in strange places like hotel rooms and sometimes the time difference doesn’t help with you whispering throught the phone to at least calm his racing heart. 

“It’s a deal if you also record yours.” You have heard him before jokingly singing it to his members before they hang up and you can’t help but be a little bit jealous. 

“Oh, do you actually mean right now? You love to put me in the spot, don’t you?” He says in surprise when you reach your phone finding the app and placing the phone in between your pillows next to his head. He’s too busy to notice that you already pressed the red button because he’s shuffling to press his hands to your sides under your sweatshirt. 

“Of course I do, I won’t deny it and you lowkey love it.” You brush away the strands of hair that are sticking up and the ones that tickle you when he brushes his nose against yours before positioning your head below his craning his neck to be as close as he can to your phone.  

“Close your eyes, go to sleep.” He carefully places a hand covering your eyes, giggling under his breath when he feels your eyelashes fluttering. 

“Know my love is all around.” His hands travel around your waist to hold you closer to his chest, you hear his heartbeat and try to breathe profoundly to slow down yours.  

“Dream in peace, when you wake.” He sneaks a hand up to pet your hair, spreading his fingers to cover the back of your head, a deep breath escapes your lips. 

“You will know I'm still with you.” He notices that your breathing is evening and slowly remove one from under your clothes to stop the audio recorder without startling you as he also feels himself drift.  

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not saying goodbye to my husband’s friends from childhood?

I (24F) am a white American, my husband (25M) is a black immigrant from a country in the Caribbean. Where we live, there aren’t many people from his country and he has few opportunities to speak his native language. But a family friend from his childhood came here recently and he invited the friend over for dinner. The friend and his wife said they’d come over a few days in advance and I was excited and made plans for dinner, but the day of, they canceled. I was a little annoyed because I already had all the food and everything but I was like “ok whatever.”

Well the following Saturday, I was stressed about work and stuff and in a bad mood, and was looking forward to catching up on a show I liked. When I finally sat down to watch, my husband said his friends who canceled the week before were going to be here in an hour and asked me to clean up. I was annoyed bc they canceled when I was planning on them and rescheduled last min when I wasn’t planning on hosting or spending the evening with anyone, but I helped clean up and prepare. They got here, and I tried to be a good host, but I admit while I wasn’t rude, my attitude wasn’t super warm and friendly. They didn’t want dinner so we offered juice and stuff. I tried to be present in the conversations but 1) I’m very shy and 2) they were talking about 60-40 their native language to English, so I didn’t know what was going on more than half the time. (I do love that language and am trying to learn on DuoLingo but it’s hard. I’m also glad he has people to talk it with, it just leaves me unable to participate much). Also, tbh most of the conversation was suggestive jokes and joking about each other’s sex lives and as an ace person I don’t really feel comfortable with that kind of conversation particularly with people I don’t know very well. So I kinda just zoned out, and I kind of have an RBF so I guess I looked not happy to be there. Anyway, we watched a James Bond movie I wasn’t interested in so I was on my phone a lot, then I went upstairs to get ready for bed because it was almost midnight and I was tired.

After I was ready for bed, I wanted to say goodnight to the friends, however one of them had to record a video for an online class and send it in before the deadline in like an hour. So he got on the computer and went into the stairwell and his wife got on her phone and went to the kitchen so they could record the conversation and submit it. Which meant I was stuck upstairs (unless I wanted to pass the guy in the stairwell and show up on his video) and I’d have to wait for them to finish recording the call before I could go to bed. Well, I was tired so I just lay in bed and ended up falling asleep. Around the 12:45, my husband woke me up by coming into the room and turning on the light to give the friends a tour of the house and I grumpily growled “I’m asleep! Turn off the light!”

The next morning, my husband was livid at me. He said the way I treated them was horrible and rude, I wasn’t paying attention during the movie, I didn’t even say goodbye (which greetings and goodbyes are a big deal in his culture), I growled at them when they came into the room for the tour, I was “acting like a bitch” to them the whole night, and he felt like he invited them to his house only for me to act racist and like I’m better than them. I feel terrible that my actions could be perceived that way when in reality I was just tired, shy, a little grouchy because these plans were sprung on me last minute, and out of the loop (because I didn’t understand a majority of the conversation). But I think the whole cancelation and then last minute rescheduling and expecting me to be a good, present host late into the night wasn’t cool. If it had been last week, I would’ve been prepared with dinner and also mentally, since I’d be planning on hosting people. Also would’ve been nice to be made aware beforehand that we would be entertaining guests until 1 AM, so I could be planning on it.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[matthyeu]

tim hortons ― smt.

pairing ⇢ seok matthew x gn!reader

genre ⇢ comedy, fluff

warnings ⇢ this was just self-indulgence as you will see </3, mentions of a car crash but nothing happened lol

word count ⇢ 1377

synopsis ⇢ this is how matthew's life would be if he didn't get 3rd place on boy's planet. hey, at least he met you.

notes ⇢ HEYYY GUESS WHOS BACK,,, well not really i’m just like popping back in after the comeback bc like WOWWW but hi i’ve been really stressed back in school doing a lot of exams and applications for nursing school. i just finished my teas and like the semester’s almost over so i’m so STRESSED AAAAAA and this has been in my drafts for so long bc yk i’m just manifesting myself getting into nursing school but i will def try to get more uploaded soon but i’m always tired from work and school eueueu got some drafts tho so i’m hoping to get that done soon. take care!!

perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to get an early start to studying for your pharmacology exam. not, it definitely wasn’t the best idea. every professor had always told you to review and study more than you thought you needed, so you tried your best to do just that. it was just that one confused topic led to another…and then to another until you realized it was nearing two. 

late nights were no stranger for a nursing student, but they were not recommended if you had plans for the morning after, especially if the morning after was your weekly 12-hour long clinical rotation. 

that was how you ended up with two and a half hours of sleep, a frantically thrown together lunch, missing materials, and a need for caffeine after you overslept your alarm by twenty minutes. you cursed your ability to sleep through alarms but also thanked yourself for setting alarms every five minutes in case this ever happened. 

the facility you were stationed at was a little over an hour from your apartment, so you would barely make it in time. there was realistically no time for you to stop by for coffee. usually, you would just make your own, but your unfortunate luck continued to prosper as you had forgotten to purchase more instant coffee in your last grocery run. however, seeing as how you nearly fell asleep behind the wheel the first ten minutes of your drive, you knew you needed it. if you died in a car crash, there was definitely no chance for you to make it to your clinical on time. 

you pulled into the parking lot at the tim hortons nearest to your apartment, seeing only one other car there who you assumed belonged to whatever employee was on opening duty. it was only 4:43. this location opened at 5. if you waited for it to open, you would definitely be late. even if you had just told yourself it was alright to be late, you were sure your instructor would not be pleased if you were, especially since this was an obstacle you could potentially get over. 

reluctantly, you shuffled your feet to the entrance, not worrying if you would wear the soles of your white shoes quicker than they were supposed to last. you didn’t want to bother the poor worker, but it was your only choice besides sitting in your car waiting for 17 minutes, which was definitely not practical. 

reaching the entrance, you peered in to see a young man diligently preparing for the day. you figured he would be far too busy to notice you (or it was just your excuse to walk back to your car and wait). still, mustered up the courage to wave at him from outside, refraining from knocking on the glass. 

by some dumb luck, he noticed you and came to the door from around the counter. he gave an apologetic smile as he opened the door, popping his head out. “sorry, we aren’t open yet.”

“actually, i was wondering if you could make an exception. i have to be at the hospital in an hour and it’s an hour drive from here,” you explained as you fidgeted with your watch. 

“oh definitely i can do that for you. that hospital must need you as soon as you can get there,” he commented as he opened the door wider for you to come in.

“oh no, they do not need me. yesterday i put on my sterile gloves wrong 4 times because of nervousness. if anything, they hope i’m not there,” you casually blurted out, which caused the employee to give you a concerned look. “i’m a nursing student, not a licensed healthcare provider. everyone always thinks of nurse or doctor when they see someone in scrubs, but i’m just a stressed person in college trying to get through.” 

“ah, makes sense. i thought you looked young to be finished with school already, but i didn’t want to say anything in case it was offensive,” he commented once you both were at the register, “what can i get for you?” 

“just a medium iced latte please,” you ordered as you dug through your wallet for the right card. 

“go ahead and insert your card whenever you’re ready.” 

and you did just that, receiving the receipt from the employee once the transaction was over. “it will be out shortly.” 

there wasn’t much for you to do but stand off to the side as you watched him work. as time went by, there was something familiar about him you couldn’t catch. it was as if you had seen him from somewhere, but the only places you really frequented were the library and hospitals. was it from tv? 

“here you go,” he announced as he slid the cup over the counter. 

as he was about to head back to finishing his preparations, you took a sip of your latte. with the newfound courage taken over you by the caffeine, your thoughts spilled out of your mouth. “do i know you from somewhere?” 

he chucked. “no, i don’t think you have. if so, it was a long time ago since i just got back to canada.”  

“you have a celebrity lookalike or something? i swear i’ve seen your face somewhere before,” you asked. 

“ever heard of boys planet?” 

then it hit you. you looked at his nametag. matthew. of course, he was the canadian from that korean reality show one of your friends had shown you. in fact, she begged for you to help her vote, and she was devastated when her one-pick didn’t make the group. and here he was, standing in front of you at tim hortons. 

“ohhh that makes a lot of sense. my friend had me voting every day for you when the show was airing. interesting seeing you working here. totally thought you’d continue trying to be an idol if you didn’t make the lineup.” 

“i missed home too much, i guess. i had it planned out during the finale too, the part time job i’d get if i didn’t make it. didn’t think i’d actually end up at timmies, but alas, things happen. thanks for your support though.” 

“don’t thank me,” you insisted, “i’m just an unsuspecting victim to desperate fans who wanted the best for their faves.” 

“i think that’s the best feeling though, meeting someone who doesn’t really care about what you’ve done or who you are. you’re the first person who’s actually recognized me, and i’m glad it’s not someone who would leak this information. though, i’m sure it will spread eventually.” 

you finally noticed what he was doing throughout the conversation: packaging a 10-count box of timbits. “here,” he called as he pushed yet another item over the counter, “on the house.” 

shaking your head, you quickly responded, “no i can’t.” 

“trust me, you’re going to need the boost of energy from the sugar for your shift. just take it, or else you’ll be late.” 

“oh shit,” you cursed, realizing you had spent too much time in the shop already, “fine, but i’ll be back and next time, i’m going to buy something for you to enjoy.” 

“mhm good luck!” 

you ran back to your car, relieved you decided to come in when you did when you saw a plethora of cars pulling in with two minutes until opening. the coffee was placed into the cupholder and the box onto your passenger seat. 

before beginning your long drive to your impending doom, you decided to have one of the timbits matthew had given you. that was when you noticed the small message written on the top of the box. 

good luck! you’re doing great things for the world :) come back anytime! i always open on fridays and will take you after 4:30. 

you smiled at the little note, popping one of the pieces into your mouth. it tasted way better than timbit you had ever had. you weren’t sure if that was just because they were fresh in the morning or the care you knew was packed into them. needless to say, you would wake up a little earlier on your fridays to go back to this location to see matthew. 

[oh-saints]

PLEASEE PLease PLEASE more ruben fics i need more so im just gonna leave a request where — ruben and a shy reader?? like she doesnt really opens up to anyone unless they're close🙏

what the hell, anon??? do we share the same brain bcs i literally just thought of it when my bf was watching harold and kumar (i know, incomprehensive taste) beside me and there's an elevator scene that inspires me to go about my favourite this trope!!!

open

you really shouldn't judge the book by its cover, rúben learnt from her, and should instead try to open the first page. for you never know what the next page might bring.

rúben dias x neighbor!reader

word count: 2.9k

tw: speech impairment

note: hi, i'm back! beside the harold & kumar's elevator scene, this is also mildly inspired by blackpink's hard to love and katy perry's unconditional teheee but this time, i happen to write during work so ofc this is not beta-read.

today had been one hell of a day for rúben dias. nothing worked in his favour; his SUV broke down before he departed for training, resulting him arriving late and therefore scolded by pep. his team lost in the mini match, he had to stay late for the rehab because his physio-in-charge had a stomach bug.

he sighed, and anyone within distance would’ve recognised the heavy weight on the breath he let out.

he just wanted to lay down as soon as possible, to be honest. he didn’t even think of dining anymore, and that was saying something because he was known—and he stood by his principle—for being a straight-A athlete. he lives and breathes football and he intends to stick by his commitment as long as life allows him to.

just before the elevator doors closed, a hand dived in between the doors’ gap. precise movement, as fast as a ninja cut, but halting his final destination, nonetheless. why couldn’t whoever-it-was catch the next train?

but as the door opened once more, a woman walked in, heads down. ah, there she is, rúben only realised the current time had reached 7 p.m. because this particular, intriguing woman would always come up at this hour without a miss. and she’d always have her head down, not glancing anyone else in the elevator, let alone the usual neighbour greetings.

he wasn’t supposed to notice her; she looked like she’d rather blend herself to the wall. but he did. her paleness contrasted the bright modern layout of the posh apartment’s elevator, along with the lives the capsule brought up and down.

the footballer pressed for her floor before she could reach the button, as usual.

she’d look up to him in wonder—with her set of the clearest eyes rúben had ever seen yet he never knew what lied beneath the surface, and only the depths of the mediterranian sea reminded him of it—as he did so, as usual.

“12, right?”

she gave a tight smile that rúben somehow understood as her silent thank you and a nod, before going as far away as sparing the 3-feet distance between them. as usual.

sometimes he wondered why she cut off their interaction as cold as the iceberg ended the lives onboard on titanic. was she nervous? was it that hard for her to answer him? was he that hard to approach?

was she a criminal of some sort that was busy hiding in order for the police to not catch her?

he’d watched in one of those real-life cold-cases documentaries he loves to use as a lullaby that coldness, aloofness, detachment or anything in line could be an indicator. whether they felt guilty after committing their crime, whether they wanted to hide away their worldly sins, whether they’re pure psychotic that they’d do a random killing spree one night for fun.

rúben badly wanted to convince himself that she wasn’t of his last depiction but he remembered what happened to ted bundy’s victim—may they rest in peace. he’d have to search for a good opportunity after calling a private investigator or something.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

another evening, another elevator ride with the same neighbour of his.

another day of him pressing for her floor, another day of her giving him a curt nod before backing herself up against the corner.

it was supposed to be another day for them, and rúben was more than ready to hit the sack. but life truly had its way for a plot twist even a blockbuster movie didn’t see coming.

being a footballer that had to stay alert of possibly everything, rúben opened his eyes as he heard a heavy intake of breath from somewhere on his right. a sound he never heard of, a sound he was most certainly had to have a double take to make sure his hearing wasn’t damaged.

he watched as she opened her mouth for a second before closing them again, certainly wanting to say something. then she took a moment of silent, possibly to rearrange what she was about to say. once she was done—or what he though was done, anyway—her mouth started to form a small O before slamming shut after five seconds. her head was shaking following another cancelled thought, and rúben swore he could practically feel the frustration she was exuding.

it reminded him of his old self, before the whole PR team back in benefica took over the wheel and taught him what and how to say things. so instead of being annoyed at her, rúben gave her space and time until she was ready. thank god he was towering the woman, who wasn’t small in general but still small compared to him, so she couldn’t see his repressed smile because weirdly enough, he found her endearing instead of infuriating like anyone else he was frustrated with.

“c-c-c-can you help me w-w-w-with something?”

the words slurred out of her voice box before her eyes could find the man that was all familiar to her but a stranger altogether. when she realised he’d been staring at her—at her disorganised self, that was pretty obvious—her head snapped back lightly in mild surprise. who wasn’t, when a beautiful man of that calibre had been staring at you?

but it actually wasn’t why rúben couldn’t keep his eyes off her. stunned would also be an understatement to describe what was happening underneath his skin.

yes, he was astounded by the fact that the neighbour that had been spiking his interest was finally talking to him. no more reserved, small smile she used to throw at him every other chance they’d been interacting. and she was finally looking up at him instead of darting her attention elsewhere whenever they shared the small confinement of an elevator.

but he was more surprised at the fact that he recognised she wasn’t simply nervous around him. he’d been around too many people to be able to spot on nerves shooting up one’s legs. what he sensed around her was a completely different, entirely new altogether.

and above all, the question that remained hanging on top of his head was; why now?

why did it take her a long while to finally muster up all the courage to spare him a glance, moreover to strike up a conversation first?

rúben couldn’t help his initial reaction of raising his brows, as if he was sceptical to the reality he was undergoing, instead of replying back. his response was met with her flashing what he recognised as regret before she looked away and shut her mouth again. and he knew he fucked up; she’d thought he was challenging her, speak one more time and you’re dead.

it wasn’t what he intended to come of as. he was simply tired of constantly fighting for his place at training, and the shock in his system hadn’t washed off since she’d dared herself to indulge him in the luxury of a conversation.

“yes, i’d like to help,” rúben spoke up before any misunderstanding took place between them, eyes were still zeroed on the woman. only then he took on her overall appearance, for they’d never been this close, and by god was she beautiful. “what do you need my help for?”

the woman looked up again to him, hopeful this time and no longer distressed, before biting her lips in a little bit of hesitance. not because of nervousness, he realised, but it was simply because she didn’t know where to start again.

and again, rúben waited for her patiently. hell, he’d waited on her far too long—even for something as simple as this—so he could certainly wait for some more.

he watched her as she opened and closed her mouth several times again—this time rúben was positive she was trying to rearrange whatever it was she wanted to say to him—before casting another glance up to him. and this time, nervousness was palpable in her face. weariness, too, and rúben couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the sight.

(although he tried to hypnosis himself that he smiled to ease off her jitters.)

this seemed to relax the tensed shoulders of hers. “i-i-i-i need help t-t-t-to change my lamp.”

bingo.

every of his remaining suspicion was now struck down, only leaving him with the answers to all of his silent question.

he’d guess on she wasn’t mute. if she was, she’d have to suffer from deafness, too, or at least hearing impairment, and she wouldn’t be able to interact with people without her hearing aid. of which, was non-existent as far as rúben’s peripheral vision might go.

he’d guess on she was a selective mute, this much was also spot on. what his shot strayed on was how she chose to be mum not because she’d killed someone, but because she was unable to.

all the sudden, rúben got reminded of one particular kid he’d gotten fortunate enough to meet during city’s annual christmas hospital visit. it was like yesterday when the kid said thank you endlessly that day before the day ended, for listening attentively without rushing the kid to speak clearly and fluently. at first rúben was surprised how that was enough of a reason for the abundance of gratitude thrown at him, but later he realised that everyone else had reached their boiling point while waiting for the kid to finish his broken sentences.

only then did he realise his mysterious neighbour was only doing whatever best under her limited condition to survive without hindering anyone else’s life.

she must’ve practiced silence for such a long time now, and for reasons such as survival mode in this cruel world where her condition is deemed a shame. where people would rather not hear her kind to speak because they were slow at it, and would rather belittle something she surely didn’t ask for when she was born.

how wrong of him to assume she was a criminal on a runaway.

“sure, have you bought the light bulb already?”

she nodded, lips still pursed tightly, before rolling her eyeballs up towards the ceiling. upstairs, he’d gathered.

“excellent,” this time, admiration and respect was the reason behind his enormous smile. “lead the way.”

he really should stop watching too many crime documentaries on netflix.

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

as soon as she was done showing her neighbour his temporary place of work, she dashed for the fridge. she was perched, for lack of words, because it’d been a long while since the last time she had to wreck her brain for a simple, humane interaction.

ironic because it was imprinted in every human’s brain that they are a social figure, thus needing to interact with other people. ironic because her line of work required her to interact with people on a daily basis, even though she was hidden behind the magic screen of a computer.

she hadn’t realised up until now how much grateful she was to the silver screen, for she didn’t have to disclose the one thing she detested about herself. for it hid her from the harsh reality she was bound to have due to her condition. for it saved her from the judgemental looks people would throw at her.

she was sure she was content with her life, bar the defect in her DNA, so why did she decide, of all day today, that she needed his help for such a simple task?

right, because she didn’t have a ladder and forgot to buy one on her way back home.

but she could’ve gone back outside to the store on the corner of the street instead of asking the one neighbour she had always seen after a long day of working. she could’ve asked anyone else but him. the security guard, the firefighter—anyone else that was in the line of work to help people, not him.

especially not him, when it meant she would bare herself open to someone she barely knew outside the fact that he was tall and smelled so damn fresh like he just washed himself after a long day of swimming in the sea water. especially not him, when it meant her old disease of stuttering would come back haunting her every time she was nervous.

and god, was she nervous. how could she not when he looked like the closest thing to adonis if such figure descended mount olympus?

but still, despite all, why did she still choose to uncover the grounds she was content on burying herself with?

was it his eyes? was it because she grew accustomed to his silent presence in the elevator? was it because she recognised no hint of judgement exuding from him when she let out the secret she least loved to reveal?

“it’s done,” the man was seriously done with work, by the way he was back donning his brick red coats. a lovely colour to his skin, she realised. another point plus, she also noted, for a man to know well how to dress. “is there anything else you need help with?”

her apartment was fairly large, especially when she only lived here on her own, but with him in the room, it felt small all the sudden. but not the suffocating kind of small, just that the space turned to be full with his presence. but instead of feeling intimidated, she felt welcomed.

weird because this was her house, her abode, her home. yet she was the one who felt welcomed instead of the other way around.

“um—n-n-no. i’m sorry again if i disturb your time, being busy and all,” it surprised her that it only took a grand total of 30 minutes of interaction for her—physically and mentally, she noted—to feel ease around him, which was apparent by the lack of stutters and was now replaced by the signature ummm everyone likes to have at the beginning of her sentences. “but i was hoping if i—um—can repay you after doing me a favour?”

“you really don’t need—”

the man shook his head as he shifted his weight to his other leg. the movement felt so natural, like he belonged here, and it dizzied her head because this was starting to feel unrealistic. there was no way she could warm up so easily to a good-looking guy that dressed well and smelled excellent and acted like those boyfriends you only see on novel books.

and for the love of god, did she love the smell lingering in the air from his perfume. it was intoxicating, as if he himself in flesh and blood didn’t stir headaches for anyone with vagina walking down the street. yet she craved for more, making her not wanting him to leave the perimeter of her house. like he’d permeated the space and marked it no longer hers.

funny how the concept of being close had a different meaning now to her, literally and figuratively. she really shouldn’t have opened the door to her home.

it honestly caught her off guard when he showed his initial reaction. she’d mastered the art of being rejected by people who i) think she’s a freak, ii) think she’s useless, iii) think she’s a hassle, iv) think she’s frustrating as she can’t get words straight to the point, and/or v) all of the above. the better part of her condition was also double-edged sword; when people think of her as a charity case, for it was only then when people understood her limitation.

being unfazed with her disability—there, that’s the word—was definitely something rare in her world.

must be the eyes, she convinced herself, because she knew deep down it didn’t take einstein to deduct the real reason behind her unpredictable habit of opening up to this man—whose name she still hadn’t figured out—was her very last justification.

after days of observation, she somehow managed to conclude he wasn’t the type to blabber his mouth somewhere else about the embarrassing neighbour that sounded ridiculous whenever she spoke. he was the type to keep everything to himself, unless he was allowed to or unless the government made him to. for that alone, it was enough of a reason for her to come out of the shell she’d been hiding under, no matter how insane it sounded because they didn’t know each other’s name.

for she knew she could be herself and he wouldn’t mind at all.

“p-p-please,” another breather because goddamn, this is a lot to take in. “i—um—i insist.”

“okay, if you say so,” his head tipped lightly at her admission, lips slowly tugging a smirk out of its hiding place. satisfaction plastered on his face and she swore she could’ve been melting on the floor if she wasn’t holding the edge of the kitchen counter. and still, strangely enough, she wouldn’t mind him seeing her turning into a puddle. “i’m allowed to take you out for a dinner then.”

of all things he could say to reply her goodwill request, a dinner wasn’t in the list of her prediction.

“w-w-why?”

it didn’t take a genius to know it was the multi-million loaded question; why me?

and this was precisely why rúben asked her out in the first place because in rúben’s defence, why not?

why not her? was there anything wrong with her?

did she believe something’s wrong with her when he found her perfectly interesting?

“because i like you and i’d like to know you better,” her eyes shot up so fast at his admission, indescribable disbelief glazed over the set of orbs rúben for sure would like to stare all night long if he had the chance. “if you’ll let me, that is, of course.”

who was she to deny when he asked to come in to her home so nicely like that?

[elliesbelle]

belle what the fuck happened??? are you okay???

long story short (prob won’t be short, knowing me oops):

tw: drug overdose, suicide, hospitalization mentions

work has been one of the biggest stressors in my life lately. i’ve been getting relentlessly harassed and bullied by a coworker (and my boss has done very little in regards to it), and something happened the other day with an extremely cruel parent of one of my kids, and it triggered something in me.

i was already having a difficult time the night before in regards to my ex (had a late night arguing with him and there were many countless unkind words said about me and the kind of person i am), and i was already in an incredibly bad place, so the work thing just pushed me to the edge. so i left work early, purchased a lot of cold medicine, went home, and took it all on top of sleeping pills and other stuff i can’t remember. said goodbye to my loved ones before i eventually went to sleep.

after that, a lot of it was a blur, so what i’m relaying right now is either from the few times i was lucid or from what other people have recalled to me.

live-in ex had been driving around trying to find me after my friends at work alerted her that i’d left suddenly, but she eventually made her way back to our apartment where she found me cold in our bed, and so she called 911. she tried rousing me but she was unsuccessful. paramedics eventually came and they kept trying to wake me up and eventually brought me to the emergency room.

i’m not sure what they tried to do to me in there, but obviously they tried to flush all the drugs out or whatever. i remember very little during this time, just that they had to cut my clothes off of me and i couldn’t stay awake for long. live-in ex was there the whole time, but they didn’t let her in the room until my mom got there and declared her as family (they wouldn’t let her past the waiting area bc we’re not related, so my mom had them list her as my spouse so she could be with me).

eventually, they placed me in the ICU where i was placed on bed rest (literally was not allowed to get off my bed because there were at least like, five or six wires attached to me) the whole time. a nurse has to be in the same room as me at all times, so they rotate these different nurses in 12 hour shifts, apart from the regular lead nurse who does hourly rounds to check on me. thankfully, they allowed visitors, so live-in ex stayed with me for most of it (so did my mom and my dad briefly, but they’re not as important). when they deemed me “healthy” enough (basically they wanted to make sure i didn’t lose my liver or something), they moved me into a regular hospital room.

been in here for the past day or so now. i can still have visitors, so live-in ex, both my parents, and my baby sister have all visited me. one of my coworkers who i’m close to also surprised me with a visit (which was so sweet, i was trying not to cry). they’re thankfully allowing me to have my phone and all (i’d be going insane if not), but i’ve been mostly sleeping honestly.

i tried asking them to not admit me into the psych ward cause i hate being in the looney bin, but i don’t have much of a choice because of the “severity” of my attempt. tried to opt for outpatient, but gonna be put in inpatient whether i like it or not, so i’ll be spending christmas here in the hospital alone unfortunately. oh well.

oops, yeah, not long story short lmao. anyway, sorry for worrying y’all. i really was not as lucid as i believed i was at the time that i’d made all those cryptic posts. i wanted to spend some time writing while i’m in here, but my emotional state has been so raw recently and the past few days being in here has caused me to be a lot more blocked in regards to that. my writing is tied to my emotions, so i won’t be able to write for y’all until i can process my emotions better again.

i don’t necessarily plan to abandon y’all, but if i’m slightly less active on here than usual, please understand why.

love you all.

[yayforstuffs]

For Firemite! His new design got me all curious again! :0

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

57. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

OH this took me ten years buT I HAVE ANSWERS!!!

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific! “Dear Cod.” It was something from a previous group of folks he and Razor had been hanging around for a bit- one of them fished up a rare enchant after hours of trying to get literally anything useful and made the comment “Dear God I thought I’d never get anything.” and every single other person heard him say ‘dear cod’. By then it was late at night n they were all tired and so it was the absolute funniest thing in the world made funnier by how vehemently he tried to stand firm on the fact that he’d said ‘dear God’ and not ‘dear cod’. He makes the reference sometimes still and it gets a chuckle from Razor, and whenever Razor pulls it out (though it can also be partially attributed to just how serious Razor is so he doesn’t joke much anyway) Fire absolutely loves it and laughs so hard. 10/10 comedy every time.

The first time he heard Tyr mutter it to herself when she was trying to figure out how to get one of her newer cats to cooperate out in the main room he lost it. Could not stop laughing for the next five minutes at least.

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen? I was going to say listener, but the more I thought about it the more I thought that… he might actually be a talker. If he’s fun bouncy sanguine he’s prolly a talker. So what would make him listen, then… I suppose Razor can make him listen, but that’s on virtue of being viewed as more of the decision-maker of the group, n he knows well enough that Razor usually has good ideas. Other than that, though… I suppose quiet might would make him listen- recognizing that he’s talking over someone and it’s Not Good and needs to hush. Hm. I personally think I’m more of a listener so I’m not really sure like. what would make a talker listen slkdhgkl I think that might be as good of an answer as I can give? I dunno. He listens to Razor and he listens to quiet.

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting? Depends! If it’s more happy/positive, he’s keen to jump to action immediately, but if he’s feeling more negative- sad/angry, etc, he’ll think more on what to do or at least take a second/minute to compose himself. It’s usually bc he’s gonna try to ‘fix things’ and bring the mood back up. It… doesn’t always work though, and he kinda flounders when it doesn’t. If it doesn't, it can end up with him spending some time alone mining to clear his head a bit, and also to let whatever's going on calm down.

57. What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often? I’m gonna be honest, this is one that’s stumped me like. the most, probably. Is that something that a lot of ppl have, like something that they need to do constantly that they usually mess up? Bc ngl like…. I don’t really see him having much of anything that’s like. a simple daily thing that he messes up often. I think I’ll leave it at an “I don’t think he has one” but if I think of something later I’ll come back and edit this to include it :V

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme? I think he’s the kind of person to have tried many, many different things! So there’s no common theme other than ‘is this new? Sure, I’ll try!’ He likes to go out and learn and discover and make new friends and find new things that he likes, so he’s very keen on trying stuff out. If he doesn’t like it then he at least knows he doesn’t, and if he does, then it’s a win!

[langernameohnebedeutung]

What is the take. Please share with the class.

Oh, right my take! (I actually posted the first...thoughts of this accidentally before I could finish it because I accidentally queued them instead of drafting but that gave me more time to obsess over this)

So you know how in 2.14 this happens:

Blaine gets kidnapped by Stacey Boss, has his throat slit, and gets buried in the woods. And then by the time he digs himself back out:

Sun's up.

For a really long time, I really never thought about these scenes beyond: 'heh, there is my boy again, good for him!' until it really struck me how fucked up that was. (Partially bc I watched that Buffy episode where the others bring her back from the dead and she has to dig herself out of her own grave and everyone is horrified by how traumatising that experience must have been. Which made me go: Hey, this reminds me of-)

Blaine was down there for hours buried alive. He dug himself out for hours.

But then I thought: Hey, I can do better! I want to find out how long he was down there!

So, at first I assumed that the abduction would have taken place in the middle of the night - because that's when it would make most sense to abduct someone. But that didn't really make sense bc in all the other plots happening at the same time, everyone was still out and about, the Positivity-café from the murder of the week plot is still open etc.

But then I found this:

This takes place just two scenes after Blaine gets buried - so even if we can't really pin down whether those events happen at the same time or this one takes place a little after Blaine got buried, we can still settle for Blaine getting buried between about 7pm and (at the very latest) 7:30pm.

I skimmed through the two previous episodes and the one after that but I couldn't find anything about when this takes place - but we do know that it's really dark outside at 7pm and we do know that New Year's Eve happened Method Head four episodes ago, so it's after Winter Solstice.

So like any normal sane adult I got me this diagramme of sunrise/sunset times in Seattle throughout the year:

Now, at least several weeks have passed since Method Head so this places us well within February (which makes sense, bc the episode also originally aired on the 23rd of February 2016).

Personally, I'm actually prone to dating it even earlier, in early February or late January because they go out of their way to give us this information:

And I found this on a website about Seattle's bird-life:

Now, working out way backwards about two weeks -

-places us in late January, or very early February. Which means (referring back to our daylight diagramme), Blaine couldn't have managed to get out of that grave before 7:20am or 7:30 am.

Which gives us a pretty exact duration for how long Blaine was buried alive of about - Approximately 12 hours (minus the time it took to actually fill up the grave. Something I'll come back to)

Which is fucked up. That would be a pretty traumatic experience on normal person terms, being buried alive for 12 hours and digging yourself back out. Possibly even longer than that because by the time Blaine arrives at the morgue, it is actually well past noon -

but that would obviously include the bus-ride and we don't know how long that was. (In fact, I had a look at Google Maps and dabbled a bit to see how long different public transport rides from any surrounding forests or parks or other green areas to the inner city of Seattle would take, and it could very well be possible that Stacey just really wanted to make sure that Blaine's body wouldn't be found and had him buried really far away in any of the surrounding National Parks or national forests - and from google maps tells me, public transport only goes so far and he'd have have walked the rest, which would explain why it's already noon.

(by the way, what do people without hyperfixiations do all day? Do you just ... not use bird-mating seasons and daylight hours and public transport schedules from a city on the other side of the globe to figure out the date and time of day of tv-show events?)

But this is where speculation actually starts:

As the audience, we learn that Blaine is returning to zombie state before he gets abducted:

he can't really taste his wine anymore (and god, is he whiny about it.)

What we don't know is whether Blaine connects the dots.

What does happen is that Blaine abandons his mission of getting wine-drunk over the woes of having to pay back his debts to Mr Boss and instead suggests that Candy and he have genie costume role-play sex. Candy apparently considers this a delightful and charming notion and agrees - and they go to have sex inside another couple's coffin. Which is fitting bc now they're both dying - Blaine from reverting to zombie form and Candy because she is now infected as well. Though it need be said that as the audience, we only learn about Candy's infection after Blaine’s abduction, when Don E finds her eating the coffin owners' brains the next morning.

This also gives us some insight into the stage of his infection (which is a bit hard to tell with Blaine because he's already dyeing his hair white) - He's already infectious and showing symptoms. We had characters like Sloane who even got turned after clinical death - so at this point, Blaine's probably pretty fit to withstand some throat cutting.

Now this leaves us with two working theories:

Either: Blaine doesn't know he's a zombie again. And really thought he was going to die in the forest, up until the point at least that he survived having his throat cut or until he found himself buried alive and started digging his way back up. The latter probably being the most terrifying option. (Also: this had me thinking about how something very similar happened to Liv - she fell off the boat in the Pilot episode - and then she wakes up in a body bag. Which most likely means she died of drowning.)

Or: He did know.

Unlike most people who get turned, Blaine already knows the signs. That's personally the theory that I'm partial to. The biggest reason being that one episode later, he actually argues in favour of letting Mr Boss continue to think that he's dead - so getting abducted and faking his death actually played pretty well into his hands. Also, he very abruptly switches subjects from drinking to sleeping with Candy. And not only is infecting people kind of Blaine's thing - he also now has the perfect alibi of allegedly not knowing that he's contagious again. He gets to tie Candy to him and his business (and his brains) with perfect plausible deniability if he says he didn't know he was a zombie again. Sure, there might be some hard feelings but what can she really do? She's gonna need the brains. That's a pretty classic Blaine plan.

(there is also the third option - which is that he can tell that he's turning back but because this round of zombificiation is very different from his first one he can't really tell what's happening to him or where he's at. So if he suspects that he's turning but can't really tell what's going inside his body at this point - sleeping with Candy is still a good strategy to find out (because either she turns and he knows he's a zombie again AND he pretty much guaranteed her loyalty to his brain business OR she doesn't turn - and he at least got some nookie out of it. Plus, she's probably more likely to go along with that than with experimental scratching or blood-sharing.)

Either way, they gave him an incentive not to reveal his reversion, if he noticed it, to Candy - and we know he actively wanted to make Mr Boss believe that he's dead so he doesn't really have much incentive to put up a big fight or reveal himself or go into rage state either, during his abduction. (In this context it's interesting to point out that neither in the car nor in the woods do they have a gun to his head. So if he knows he's a zombie and he actively wanted to get away, his odds would actually have been higher taking his chances with a surprise tackle and a jump out of the car than letting them bring him wherever they're bringing him.

Which then brings me to his 'execution':

Another thing that stands out is that there isn't a lot of blood for someone who had just had his jugular cut, even after several seconds of lying in the grave.

There is the Doylist interpretation (tv restrictions) and the Watsonist one - he's a zombie, so obviously he doesn't bleed much. Though, on iZombie these explanations often go hand in hand and the zombie-thing is a way of having the characters suffer severe injuries without too much gore going on. The reason I'm bringing this up is that - if this is considered weird inside the reality of the show (the Watsonist level), then there is a surprising lack of reaction from the three seasoned murderers witnessing this scene. No one going "Wait why isn't he bleeding properly???"

On the other hand, pretty much the same gambit works on the same people from Don E at the end of the season and he canonically is a zombie, so it seems fair to attribute this to their expectation that someone who has his throat cut and is not moving is probably dead enough.

So that's that for Mr Boss' guys, but the real question is -

what's going on with Blaine.

Now, throughout the show, we see several zombies suffer severe throat injuries. (And in fact, several of those people are Blaine because he's just such a popular guy) We have our poor pal Luta, who got stabbed into side of his neck with a Balisong -

Luta ends up almost completely losing his voice from this, something that doesn't really seem to add up in light of the healing abilities of the other zombie characters, but I'm willing to ascribe it to his vocal cords healing back together wrong or scarring in a way that makes it difficult to produce sound which is a condition that normal humans can get from as much as over-using their voice. Since we saw the wound having formed a scar in a later episode, I think that's as good an explanation as any.

Our biggest example would be Dino who literally gets beheaded -

(and that's one I really don't know how to explain beyond being an example of the extreme durability of zombies. But still, there is no way to make sense of this physiologically. You need lungs to produce sound or to speak.)

But the most obvious example...would still be Blaine himself because we see him get shot, stabbed, impaled through his throat and whatnot:

In Eat A Knievel, he gets shot through the throat and basically shows hardly any physical reaction at all:

And then, just a few episodes later -

They actually put a ...kind of popping sound-effect over this that I interpret as indicating a bone/spinal injury but again, there isn't much of a physical reaction beyond entering zombie-mode - something that didn't happen on either of the other occasion (maybe a reaction to the pin still being stuck inside?)

Anyway, both of these injuries are definitely much more severe than having his throat just cut - which really just relies on the rapid drop in blood pressure and the blood loss to kill you. Both of which don't really matter much for zombies (and, as I said, considering the lack of blood loss in the forest- scene, that probably wasn't much of an issue any more at this point/stage of re-zombification.)

So yeah, assuming all that, let's remember our two (and a half) options for the forest-scene: Blaine knows he's a zombie/He doesn't know/He suspects it.

Either Blaine doesn't know/isn't sure he's a zombie at this point - then this is the point where he definitely would find out. In that scenario, he'd actually think/consider the chance that he might be dying when he gets his throat slit, maybe react to the pain or enter some state of shock.

Considering that we still see a little bit more blood on him in the forest scene as compared to the other occasions, his cardiovascular system might still not have returned to zombie-baseline entirely and have supported his body somewhat. In which case maybe he is experiencing the symptoms of blood loss or rapid drop in blood pressure - but less severely/fatally - which might explain weakness or even unconsciousness. In which case he really would be waking up underground OR while they're filling up the grave.

On the other hand, if he's far enough along into rezombification (and possibly even aware of it) - - -

He could just be faking the whole thing. He might really just be faking the neck-clutching, the unconsciousness. In fact, considering the level of drama he has falling into that grave and his history/future of faking stuff, I wouldn't put this past him.

But this interpretation also adds a whole new level of insanity to what's happening. Now, I don't know how long it really would take to fill up a grave (and I suspect it has a lot to do with ground conditions and what not) but ...I suspect it does take a while, even for two dudes. Let's give it more than half an hour. Especially considering they do a pretty good job with that grave (until Blaine breaks through the ground again, the spot looks perfectly smooth and untouched).

This means, Blaine would not only have been inside his grave, digging his way up for about 12 hours - he was also fully conscious and playing dead while he was getting buried. That would mean he was just lying there while they shovel several hundred kilogrammes of dirt on top of him. Apparently being very optimistic that he will be able to dig his way out (before he goes Romero).

He did manage, I guess. But it's still a gamble.

So that's...just there.

But that also raises the question: If he knows or is beginning to suspect or realise that he's a zombie again - what exactly is stopping him from putting an end to this? I doubt that they kept a gun trained on a dead body that whole time. And with everyone busy with shovelling and he himself being a zombie, that would have been the perfect opportunity to get out of that situation. He could just enter rage mode and maul them. Actually, this was so far my biggest argument against Blaine knowing that he's a zombie or against him being actually conscious while getting buried - and again, that's just all personal speculation.

But I still wondered: Wouldn't it have been more useful to him to just kill Mr Boss there and then rather than fake his own death? In fact, it's just three dudes, he's a zombie, two are probably busy digging. And they're already in the most secluded area that he could ever hope to get Stacey in. There's even a grave ready to throw them into.

Except, then I realised something else -

So at this point, if something happens to Mr Boss, he'd lose his immunity - which is the only thing keeping Clive and Dale from putting into prison for 10 years for his old drug charges. (And I guess he loses access to Peyton which we know he also isn't hyped for). So yeah, that makes Mr Boss more useful for him alive than dead - as long as Boss in turn thinks Blaine's dead.

And on a completely related but also wildly different note:

(and this is where I abandon speculation and interpretation in favour of completely making things up) I talked about how being buried alive for a whole night, desperately trying to dig yourself up for hours would probably be a highly traumatising experience for a person. Like...that's the kind of shit that gives you a lifetime of claustrophobia one might imagine.

But the really interesting thing is, Blaine loves to threaten to do this to other people:

I mean, he really likes doing that - especially with the added threat of burying people alive in them. Or unalive. For all eternity. Now I hear you say 'well, he has a funeral home now, so that's probably convenient to dispose of them that way'.

But let me provide a counter-argument:

Shit's expensive.

He specifically mentions that Mr Boss' casket is mahogany. He has a human-sized freezer in the basement, he could be giving him the same treatment he did Major in season 1 (which was also a confined space he locked him into, mind you). He also has a human-sized incinerator where he can dispose of bodies. And a giant collection of tools to cut into and rearrange bodies with. But no, his favourite torture method is really that: Locking people into small spaces and abandoning them. Even dumping Angus into the well holds up with that.

In fact, when it comes to actually torturing Angus into changing his will in The Whooper - he let's Chief and Candy do that - while he walks away.

Now, with Angus, it's all a lot more direct and intentional - Blaine even spells it out himself in that scene:

It's revenge for ignoring his pleas for help when he was a child. So he's now ignoring his father while Chief and Candy can do whatever they like with him and he's going to ignore it in turn. I mentioned in another post how a lot of Blaine's anger at Angus is actually less about the physical abuse his father put him through - but he seems at least much, if not more, occupied with feelings of betrayal and abandonment due to his father's absences and disregard for him.

And in fact, it makes a lot of sense considering that he was (intentionally or not) abandoned by both his parents - his mother because she withdrew more and more from her husband's abuse and Angus because he's...well, Angus. Not to mention his grandfather being institutionalised which probably also meant losing access to him. Heck, damn kid even lost his dog which was probably the only living being still left who paid attention to him at home.

A lot of the stuff we learn about that Blaine did in his childhood (like stealing his mother's beloved earrings - instead of literally anything else on their fucking estate he could have sold) really resonate as a bid for attention more than anything. And it's pretty much a behaviour that continues into adulthood - from the way he inflicts himself on Liv and Ravi sometimes, the way he keeps bragging and lying to Al Bronson about how popular and happy he is, the way he starts being drawn in by his father actually showing an interest in him in season 4, the way Major manages to get his attention with promises of statues and schools named after him - he just really, really likes being noticed, whether that be in a good or a bad way. - - - so the threat of burying someone alive somewhere for all eternity and no one will ever know about their suffering - actually seems like he's subconsciously drawing on his own experiences of something he experienced as particularly terrifying and torturous as a child: His suffering being ignored.

Now add to that his very specific love of torturing people by forcing them into confined spaces for as long as he feels like it -

(again, I'm all out on the limb of speculation here but I don't look a gift parallel in the mouth.)

So yeah, 12 hours in a hole digging his way up or being forgotten out there and going Romero in the ground.

I don't think that was fun for him.

And then it's never mentioned again because...this is not all that deep, okay??? I'm normal about this.

[taylor]

If the following situation happened to you, how would you feel? Because I’m really hurt and pissed but maybe I’m missing something obvious?

- Last Tuesday, my friend Jordyn invited me and another friend to a bar this weekend on Saturday (last night).

- Saturday morning (yesterday) she texts the group chat and verifies we’re still down for the night - the plan at this point is meet at Jordyn’s house at 7 to leave together to the bar.

- It’s 6:30 PM and I’ve been cleaning the house and realize I’m going to be late, so I call Jordyn to let her know I’ll just meet her at the bar. She doesn’t answer, so I check my texts and see that I missed where she said at 3:40 PM in the group text: “Change of plans no bar tonight the vibe is weird”. I reply back asking about the vibe being weird and she texts me one on one saying she’ll call me in 10 minutes and I’m like sweet cool that’s fine - that’s at 6:30 PM. (for context, she was at a friend’s graduation, and had to see a girl she’s been in a semi-fight and big misunderstanding with, so my assumption is the “vibe” being off was due to this other girl and her boyfriend, who Jordyn had been somewhat involved with at some point.)

- I’m not the kind of person who thinks 10 minutes HAS to always mean 10 minutes, so I continue cleaning and an hour and 20 minutes go by and I decide to text her like bestie what’s the tea i’m so curious (this is at like 7:50 PM i think?) and right after i send it I open my find my friends app and I see Jordyn literally pull up at the bar, like the timing was insane to actually see her pull up like that.

- So she’s at the bar, that she said earlier tonight wasn’t happening anymore. I’m pissed because I feel like somewhere along the line she lied to me and I don’t understand why. Either she lied about me being invited to the bar in the first place, which doesn’t make sense, or she lied about it being cancelled, or just lied by omission. I ended up checking her location like 4 hours later and she was still at the bar (she’s home now so she didn’t leave her phone there like she’s done before lol).

…would y’all feel the same anger/resentment/sadness/etc that I feel? Because Jordyn and I recently got into a huge argument where I told her I felt she didn’t value our friendship because she kept cancelling plans last minute and I just wanted to hang out with her and it felt like I didn’t matter enough to her for her to always come up with an excuse for why today wouldn’t work - to her credit, though, when we finally talked things through 2 weeks later, she apologized for always cancelling or changing plans and said she’d try to be better about it (which is all anyone can ask for, for someone to TRY, and the result is MORE time with my bestie, which I always want). Then this happens not even a week after we reconciled over her CANCELLING AND CHANGING PLANS ALL THE TIME? like maybe i’m just an idiot but it seems to me like maybe not ideal to cancel plans with someone only to keep those same plans actually and just lol never reply to them?

Also, I texted her a few minutes later after I saw her get to the bar and I suggested seeing a movie or going to the bar anyway - I didn’t wanna be the weirdo who’s like I SEE YOURE AT THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT but honestly i was hoping she’d just say “omg come on by, the plans are back on!!” bc i was literally ready to go out and have fun, and i wanted to even try to give her an “out” where she could see i was still trying to make something happen, but wasn’t calling her out (even tho i probably rightfully could have). so anyway, i did text her at 8 pm with that idea and then at like 12:45 she’s still at the fucking bar and has yet to text me back, which will probably happen tomorrow but until then i’m just left to sit here and wonder what the fuck just happened and maybe she just doesn’t want me around? am i oblivious to this and maybe i’ve been recently annoying her and she felt like she had no option but to not re-invite me? or had no option but to lie? she’s like my best friend irl and so i don’t want to lose her but i don’t like this icky feeling i’ve got going on

[adultswim2021]

Xavier: Renegade Angel #13: “Free Range Manibalism” | March 13, 2009 - 12:15AM | S02E05

I’m sorry, but this one is simply too crazy. Xavier finds a restaurant that very snobbishly turns their noses up at his offer of meat. The meat in question is splattered stuff from roads. He is accused of being a bathroom user, and truly, he is. So, they throw him out and he encounters two bums, whom he convinces to pose as pigs so he can offer them to the restaurant. The restaurant’s whole deal is that they pamper their livestock until they pass away from natural causes. Then, and only then, are they turned into a nice meal.

From there it goes off into a direction that I’m not even that sure I can adequately summarize. So, I won’t. Like, no, really, the episode was great, and I laughed at it a bunch, but I genuinely felt like I missed a key word or something that would have explained, sorta, what was going on. 

The honest truth is, sometimes I just don’t want to write about Xavier. That’s because the show is just one incredible joke after the next, and I tend not to enjoy write-ups where all I do is list jokes I like. Here’s some I wrote down, to shut you up: Xavier’s belabored pun of “Heil-er Meatler”. The part where he distracts the sporting goods store (to steal footballs from, so he can sew up new pigskin for the hobos) by getting them to chant “sports” over and over. “Spreading like a mother’s legs on free peanut butter day”. There’s like, way more insane wordplay in this episode than most others, I think. 

This is a wild one, and I probably should have watched it twice before covering it here. Oh well! Merry Christmas, everyone!

MAIL BAG

I definitely took a couple days off so I could use the above screenshot on Christmas Day, and no other reason. Time to shine a spotlight on the man of the hour, Mr. Ho-Ho-Ho himself, Santa Claus:

I don’t think you’re nuts! By the time Delocated season 1 started airing, 30 Rock already had appearances from faces familiar to Late Night w Conan fans, like Brian Stack, Brian McCann, Andy Richter, ofc Jack McBrayer, Conan. i wondered too if they hoped to get those Conan fans who gave 30 Rock a chance bc of those cameos. Good theory!

Hey, thanks for that. 30 Rock was definitely a movement, and it's something we could all get behind.

hey man i dunno who told you that SH*T about robot chciken being canceled but creator-whos-not-seth-green just said in a interview two weeks back that its still going so get your hopes down

The funniest case scenario is that Seth Green is too mad about his monkies that he refuses to do the show, and they try to continue without him. He was probably running around the writers room doing nut taps and throwing Nickelodeon Gak on people so they couldn't write funny sketches ever. Maybe this made-up thing that I'm making up right now is just what the show needs.

Tommy Wiseau is an absolute nut job. Mike Lazzo was playing with matches letting that guy in the adult swim ecosystem. Wish he got burned, boyo.

True that!!! Tommy Wiseau is not "WISE" at all... he is a menace

If Santa could put on piece of Adult Swim swag in your holiday stocking this year what would you want it to be?

A new Space Ghost Volume 5 DVD. The second disc on my copy stopped working. I can't even sell it on eBay anymore! WAAAH! Also, the actual plastic case it came in got extremely brittle and it caved in when I tried to open it last time. It's just all the way fucked. I have a digital backup of it, at least. But, I prefer tactile sensations, and the crackle of the vinyl record.

Santa has just left my house. He left 10 presents and ate all four cookies we left him. I was telling my dog who sleeps in my room how great a deal that was. 10 presents for four cookies? My dog didn't seem to care but enjoyed all the attention he was getting. Welp, back to bed.

I'm glad Santa came. I have a question about dog ownership for you: do you have a dog door and do you ever go through it for fun? I feel like if I had a dog and a dog door I would be going in and out of that thing constantly.

If you got bit by the Santa Claus bug, what would you do? Merry Christmas from LA

Hey, thanks, cool to hear about the move. If I was bit by the Santa bug, I would be in heaven, and I hope that answers all of the Christmas Day questions for AdultSwim.Com (my blog).

[friedesgreatscythe]

ARR speedruns are getting me through late winter into early spring, as well as allowing me a chance to come up with different characters to give AU Eorzea adventures. I've perfected it from about 10 days in February, to three days in the Eren Jaeger run last month, to possibly 20 hours total in my current Twilight Princess!Zelda run. I'm taking a break now because I'm holding myself accountable to productive decisions lol But considering the rate I've been going I'm almost posi I can manage at most a 24 hour run time.

I've perfected little ways to make it go by as quick as possible: start on Dynamis (NA data center that gives a massive exp boost) and always have food handy for another bit of EXP boost (if an FC invites you and has an EXP boost as well, all the better, but you don't have to rely on this); use NPCs in dungeons and pull big mobs if you're DPS or healer (the tank is beefy and the healer can keep up with him, but i haven't tested out the combo of you tanking + NPC healer yet); sign up with every chocobokeep at aetherytes so you can pass between settlements without spending much gil; use the airship service liberally to also save gil; if you go archer/bard, always use peleton to make sprinting faster; skip cutscenes (which i only condone here bc i've played the game before) and make the language Japanese and the text 9+ speed for the ones you can't skip. For the grand companies, the Immortal Flames or Twin Adders are the better choices since their headquarters are so close to major aetherytes (and will load in faster as opposed to Limsa, where everyone is all the damn time).

Using all this, I started the conjurer/white mage Zelda cosplay run yesterday at 12:30PM and got her to level 50 and unlocked Brayflox by 2AM. I did have to take a break for dinner, so that added about a half hour to the run time, and I did do two side dungeons for another boost of EXP, so that added to the time as well. I don't have gear good enough to solo dungeons at this point, but I can turn in the silver chocobo feathers I have to get some relic gear to help with iLvl and stat increase.

You may be asking yourself, "Krist, why are you doing all this?" And the answer is simply: so Twilight Princess!Zelda can get the Torgal mount and fit my own personal satisfaction of having a lore appropriate mount from her game lmao Also to keep seeing how fast I can get through ARR at this point.

The FFXVI crossover event lasts til May goddamn 8th. I have over a month to do it, but I have an awful sense of FOMO and an insatiable need to put pressure on myself to succeed, so this is how I've tried to come to terms with that. Even though I'm never satisfied with what I do. Even with all these accomplishments, I went to bed last night thinking, "What a waste of time, you're such a loser." And hey, that could be true, but as long as I'm applying myself to things that will actually help me in real life, I don't see the problem.

Which is why I'm spending the day typing up my rewrites draft notebook so I have that to work on in the oncoming draft.

Accountability. Productivity. Accomplishments. I'm capable of all of these, and now I just need to make sure I keep doing them, and that I include myself in these efforts. Looking after my mom and now my stepdad after his sciatica flare up has made me more aware of how easily and readily I'll set aside what I want and need to do for someone else. Reassuring my sister that I'm available to help whenever she needs it makes me aware of how quickly I'll reach out to someone else, but never think to offer that same support to myself.

My goal for the year is to finish this draft--polished, finished, ready for beta readers--by Thanksgiving at the latest. I know I can do it. I know I need to focus, to reach out to other writer friends who are on their indie pub journeys, or keep track of their progress and how they're handling themselves. I need to be more supportive to myself. I need to celebrate how determined I am, even through the hardship and discomfort of having no financial independence (and the BPD impulsivity of overspending when I do have money, combined with the PTSD sense of foreshortened future. Why save money when I can't imagine a need to support myself because I can't imagine wanting to live [which is different from wanting to die, it's simply a total apathy to the concept of existing and wanting to do so]).

I just... need to be better to myself. I need to jump to my own needs the way I do for others. I need to reassure myself the way I do for others. I need to set goals in the immediate and long-term future and meet them, and be proud of meeting them. I need to start looking at my life and what I'm doing in it as things that are good, and useful, and valuable, and necessary, and wonderful, because no one and nothing else is going to give me the life I'm desperate for. I don't get a second chance at this. It's not something I can start over. I'm alive now, whether I like it or not, and I have to keep dedicating myself to things that make me like it.

Even typing that out makes me scowl or cringe away from the very idea. But why? Why don't I want to make myself happy? Why don't I want to make my life better--to make my life my life, how I want it? Why can't I just... be a healthy person? Why can't I like myself--not even love, just like? Why am I repulsed by the very idea of taking care of myself? What happened to make me this way, and how can I fix it?

[rightsforbrunomadrigalonly]

hii, okay so if you do take requests could i get one where bruno and reader tell his family theyre going to have a baby?? and everyone is obviously happy, and everyones teasing them like "yoo when did yall do the dirty ;);)??"! just want to know how everyone would react? maybe alma would be like all proud bcs her youngest child is finally going to have a family?? thanks!!

{A/N: ✨⌛️So i really really love this idea! I think it’s kind of a good chuckle to think about. I definitely feel the Madrigal family thinks Brunos a little…incompitent to say the least when it comes to baby making. Little do they know, he’s incredibly far from clueless, he knows EXACTLY what to do and he’s pretty damn good at it for a man that’s been hiding in the walls for the last 10 years. Also I hope you don’t mind but I have been desiring to really write a good bit of fiction between Felix, Agustin and Bruno so I’m taking this request as a moment to do so! Sorry if this is short, I’ve worked a full 12 hour day and it’s very late at night but I just HAD to write this.  ALSO I GAVE MYSELF A MINI HEART ATTACK CAUSE I THOUGHT I LOST THIS REQUEST AND I WAS SO SCARED⌛️✨}

{Word Count: 1497 }

{Warning’s 🚨: None that I can think of}

La casa Madrigal was always full of so many bright and colorful faces, each one warmer and more inviting than the next. You’d never forget the first time you stepped foot over the threshold of the regarded mystical house. The feeling of being surrounded by the extraordinary making even the ordinary feel exceptional. Everything about the environment felt so enticing, a wonder waiting around every corner ready to show itself. The greatest wonder however, was the love you developed for the smallest Madrigal triplet. It was an unconventional love that blossomed into something bigger than the two of you. Small smiles and waves developed into hugs and laughs. Flustered grazes turned into weighted lingering touches, the lack of contact burning the skin where fingers once rested. The two of you had become dependent on each other, wherever one would go, the other was sure to follow. Your relationship's need for constant company became a light hearted joke around the Madrigal Mansion, if the two of you were ever caught separate a gentle tease would stir from your lover’s sisters. “Well hello stranger, you must be new here!....No you couldn’t be the same Y/N we know. The Y/N we know is only ever hanging off the back of Bruno’s ruana.”

You never took it offensively, after months of learning to navigate the families unique quirks and personalities you took their gentle jests as sign of affection. You melded into the family's beautiful blend so naturally that when the time came for you to take Bruno’s hand in wed your transition into the family felt like an ease. Every second of time that passed in that house, your arms and mind consumed by Bruno’s presence, felt like the fantasy life you’d always imagined for yourself. He was everything you could have ever asked the heavens to give you. He was kind and patient, his heart tender with a vibrant personality. His smile felt like a contagion the way it forced your own whenever it appeared on his face. Everything about your husband was perfect in your eyes, and while the rest of the village and some of the Madrigal family would disagree, nothing about the man was a fault. Not even the gift that burdened your lover’s mind and reputation felt imperfect and out of place to you. You felt content and at peace, never expecting the possibility that fate could grow your happiness further. 

Gently you place the warm smooth palm of Bruno’s gaunt hand against the temporarily flat surface of your abdomen. You could feel his emotions travel through your body as his fingertips shakily stretched across the bare flesh, his eyes not leaving the site. “A-are you sure, mi vida?”

“Yeah” you sniffled tears welding up in your eyes as you watched the man fixate on your stomach. “I-I’m positive mi amor. I know you’ll make such an amazing papa to this blessed little baby” 

You let your index and middle fingers spread as you push the curls from his face, watching as he rubs the sleeve of his ruana against his damp eyes. “I-....” he couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions in his tone as the tears rushed out faster than he could wipe them away “I didn’t think I was ever gonna deserve something like this.” 

Your heart raced as you let your hand slide to his cheek, cupping the scruffed surface with a smile. “You deserve the world mi amor. I hope I can give you everything your hearts always contented.” 

A grin played on his lips as he laid soft kisses against your palm before focusing his attention to your stomach. “You are everything I’ve always wanted.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the sensation of his facial hair scraping and scratching the smooth surface of your abs, you gently pressing a palm to his forehead to hold him back. 

He couldn’t help the way his own lips tugged, he grunting as he pushed himself up on his feet to face you. “Mi vida, do you mind if I’m the one to tell my familia? Is that selfish to ask?”  

The way he asked for your approval was just proof of his kind considerate nature. You leant in pressing your lips against his happily. “Of course not mi amor, this is just as much your announcement as it is mine,” you chuckle gently, tapping your palm to his cheek. “Tell the family however you’d like.” 

The man was over the moon, his happiness shining through the typically trauma locked haze. His plan was to share the news simultaneously with the family, but as expected in this house, what Bruno had planned and what actually came to fruition were two different realities.  

Walking like a man on a mission through casita’s hall, the everlasting object of your heart rushed to gather la familia for his announcement. The poor unsuspecting soul had no idea of the ambush he was about to encounter as his body was halted by two large thick hands. Perplexed, his brows pinched together as the gears of thought turned in his head. “Felix…”

There was a silence between the two men, Bruno watching in confusion as the other’s mouth wriggled into a cheshire smirk. “You dog! Ah, I heard the news about you and Y/N. Way to go compadre aha! We didn’t think you had it in you! I’d ask if you enjoyed yourself but I think we both know the answer there huh?” Felix bellowed, causing Bruno’s body to shrink back in response.

“I-uh um…I don’t uh...Know what are you talking about,” the triplet fibbed, nervously rubbing at the back of his neck. 

Bruno knew he was a terrible liar, in fact the entire family knew that about Bruno…but the man was optimistic his fib would go unnoticed.

“I’m talking about the good news, the chamaco! You know you’re a terrible liar right?”

 Bruno wanted to interject and snap back with a witty remark, but before he even had the chance another pair of hands fastened onto his shoulders from behind, startling his body forward. “¡Felicidades, Manito!” 

Your lover’s body spun, his face relaxing a bit to see it was only Agustin. His shoulders shimmied trying to remove the others hands from his body with a nervous laugh. “How did you two find out about the uh, no longer surprise…surprise?”

“Delores” both men spoke in unison.

The excitement in Bruno’s eyes deflate as his lips pull into a hard slant. Figures, he should have expected that.  “Sorry she stole your thunder,” Felix chuckled, grabbing hold of his brother-in-law's torso, giving him a shake. “Turn that frown right side around! The surprise may be gone, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear all about it, right Agustin?” 

“He’s right, mano e mano! Tell us about it all, come on!” the other man laughed, nudging into Bruno’s body. 

You couldn’t help but smile and laugh, watching the display across the way as you stood opposite on the balcony. Your body was congested, cover with hands all across your flat belly. You could hear the way the boys gossiped and pried for the juicy intimate details of your shared private life, your husband’s good nature trying to spare your dignity from their relentless questions. “They gossip worse than girls” you teased, glancing down at the women gathered around you. “Well…almost as much” 

A chuckle stirred from Pepa’s chest, her eyes shining up your way. “You can’t blame us for being curious. We never thought Bruno would be capable of doing something like this. We weren’t even sure if he’d touched a woman before” the redhead teased. 

You gave your eyes a subtle roll, lips pinched upwards at the corner. “Trust me, he’s VERY knowledgeable about touching a woman’s body.”

The woman squealed with laughter drawing the attention of the men across the way. “I think they’re talking about you over there” agustin laughed, Bruno’s cheeks flushing red with embarrassment.

“HEY! What are you guys laughing about over there?” your husband demanded to know, his face doing its damnedest to look intimidating. 

“Nothing mi Amor! Don’t you worry!” you tease cupping your hands around your mouth to project your voice, earning a strict look from the guardian of the Madirgal magic.     

“What is going on out here! What is all this yelling and cackling about?” She barked, demanding answers from whoever was willing to provide them.

“Tia Y/N and Tio Bruno just found out they’re having a baby.”

The elderly woman’s mouth gaped as her eyes glistened with excitement and joy. Never in a million years did she think that her Brunito would start a family of her own. “I can understand all this excitement now! Come come! Let’s celebrate!”

The windows and doors all slammed as Casita responded to the effervescent mood of the family. A celebration was definitely in order, hopefully you and your husband could get through things without too much more teasing.  

[nyxronomicon]

Its 11 pm diavolo brain rot hour 😜

Imagine diavolo in heat but you are in the human world. He fucking misses you and haven’t seen you in weeks. He tried to jerk himself so many times but none of them ever brought him the release he needs. Hes frustrated, sweat on his forehead, hair sticking to his face, but he doesnt feel any satisfaction…. He just tried to jerk his dick the 12th tike today and its only 3 pm. He tried everything, your pictures, videos, letters, cloths, and none of it worked. He just cant cum.

At las he had enough and just took off into the human world. Its friday night when he busted his way through hell and broke out of earth’s crust. Fuck its hot. The air is 104 degrees and his heat is getting worse because if it. He vaguely remembers your description of your apartment…. Near the park…. 6 blocks Across the junction between some big shopping center and bar/grill place…

Mans is running wildly ok, people would be suspicious of him but its a friday night, bars and busy, and from the way hes stumbling to keep his dick from leaking all over it seems hes just a drunk dude tryna get home. Finally he reached your block and hes circling around it frantically to find which floor you’re on….

Hes looking, watching the cars going in and out the parking… bingo! He saw your figure in front of the open window! And fuck do you look hot, fresh from the shower, no bra, just a thin tank top. Do you know people can see that? Can humans even see that far up? Fuck it. No one care. He needs to get to you, and he cant just step into the elevator he cant wait. He needs you.

Mans is straight up climbing your apartment like a spider… but frantic. You are just chillin by the window, Netflix open, cool night breeze settling in and then—

“m-MCCCCCCC!! MC Please 😭💕😳!!!!!”

— why the fuck is Diabby hanging onto your window????? He look like he just ran a mile, he’s flustered, haggard breathing, dilated pupils, barely dragging himself inside. And then you look down and— oh. His 🍆🍆 . You think you know why he’s here.

What ever plans you had went out the window bc this man practically burrowed himself in your hug and smashed his lips into yours It might have bruised. Within seconds your flimsy PJs are torn off and his own clothing joins them on the floor. Tldr: yall did it in every position possible on every surface of you home. The sex was so intense both of yall were sore for days afterwards. Also you got 4 noise complaints and a police request to investigate “a strange man climbing a 12 story apartment”

ughhh yes yes yes!!!!

this gave me a delicious idea for a drabble friend~

NSFW 18+ content ahead, minors & ageless blogs will be blocked :)

tw: dildo mention, biting, GN reader

-

After a long day at work, you sighed, returning to your apartment. You thought about the Devildom. You didn’t really miss attending class or homework, but you missed the demon brothers, your friends at Purgatory Hall, Barbatos, and of course, Diavolo. 

You’d be lying if you claimed your latest dildo purchase wasn’t just the closest thing you could find to Diavolo’s cock. You had been thinking about him a lot lately. In fact, the last few hours you spent working your mind was on him. 

You wondered if he thought about you as often when you opened the door to your apartment. You’d barely walked in before someone slammed the door shut again and pinned you against it in a ferocious kiss. You knew the taste, the scent, and most importantly, the rock hard cock pressing against your thighs through layers of fabric. You couldn’t help moan into your demon lover’s kiss, pleased he wanted this enough to visit. 

As his tongue swirled with yours, his hands wasted no time roaming your body, feeling you in all the right places. The places he missed oh so dearly.

“I’ve missed you.” He finally pulled away when you were sufficiently breathless.

“Diavolo...” Both of you were desperately trying to catch your breath. “What are you doing here?” 

His face turned red. You could feel the heat yourself he was still so close. “I’m... in heat. I couldn’t stop myself.” He hungrily kissed your neck, sloppily dragging his lips against your skin. “I need you.” You felt his fangs press against your skin in a love bite. 

“Mmh...” You arched your back. He knew how much you loved it when he bit you. “Can’t say no to that...” You forgot how well he knew your body. His fingers deftly toyed with your nipples as he kissed your neck. Your fingers tangled into his hair, holding him close.

Diavolo lifted your legs and you wrapped them around his waist. He kissed your lips as he urgently carried you to the sofa. He laid on top of you, already grinding himself against your sex, eager to enter you. 

“It’s gonna be a long night...” Diavolo said in a husky tone, his hand sliding up your thigh. 

[yourmidnightlover]

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 

[hansolmates]

distance learning (m)

banner done by the beautiful @eerieedits​

summary; after their first hookup, jungkook isn’t so sure whether you’re serious about being exclusive. after all, people say things during sex. jungkook takes it in his own hands to figure out where you stand, and he realizes soon enough that eavesdropping is a bad habit pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, crack, insecure!jk, unresolved sexual tension, stressed!mc, this is really just unnecessary drama bc drama is fun™, sexting, dom kook’s still a meanie in control, posession kink, cock slapping, a blowjob, cockwarming, unprotected, creampie, squirting, (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) and of course the excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 6.1k a/n; haaaaaa three months later im finally posting pt 2! i figured that no matter how many times i edit/reread at this point i think it’s time to finally let this beast go!!! enjoyyy click here for part 1: remote learning drabbles; 01

if you enjoy this, please considering giving our pasta couple a like n’share💚

It’s been a week since the thing.

The remote-controlled vibrator thing. 

The whole sappy-love-confesion-during-sex thing. 

Jungkook is antsy, tail tucked in, perpetually wondering whether he went too far. You seemed to like it, and Jungkook definitely loved it. It was spicy and dirty and hot, and at the same time Jungkook thought he really made progress in expressing his feelings for you. Not only that, you said you liked him back!

At least, he thought you did. 

“I really said I’d feed her lasagna and cum in the same sentence,” Jungkook bemoans into his pillow, which still lingers faintly of your Redken shampoo. “I’m disgusting. She thinks I’m disgusting.” 

People say things during sex, Jungkook knows that. In the throes of passion and pleasure, people will say anything that comes to their mind, anything that fits the mood. Of course, you’d be tied in and say you like him back. But did you like him back as a friend? As a fuckbuddy? As something more? 

“Fucking text her,” Taehyung is tired of Jungkook’s wallowing, everytime he checks in on the app developer he’s brooding in one of three places. Today’s his bedroom. Taehyung dips under the blankets, and steals Jungkook’s pillow right under his nose.

Jungkook suppresses a whimper, face melding into the blankets. Now that pillow is going to smell like Taehyung.

“Text her what,” Jungkook replies despondently. 

“I don’t know, something along the lines of ‘I wanna follow through with my proposition of feeding you my cum and lasagna—not simultaneously. Wanna go on a date this weekend?’ It’s that simple,” Taehyung gets up in Jungkook’s face, dark eyes forcing him to bore right in. “Want me to do it for you?” 

“Noo, I’m an adult I can—”

“I did it for you.” 

Jungkook nearly knocks into Taehyung’s hard head, sitting up straight when he notices his phone behind his roommate’s back. This is what he gets for sharing passwords. Thankfully, the message is cleaner than Taehyung’s words, and you’ve already replied. 

[1:23] Jungkook: would you like to go out for dinner this weekend? pasta and wine?

[1:25] You: it’s a busy week this week 🥺 raincheck? 

“Was the sex that bad?” Taehyung frowns, reading the message twice. 

“N-no,” Jungkook is sweating. He isn’t sure anymore. 

Taehyung hands Jungkook back his phone, slowly, as if you’ll reply back with a change of your mind. Jungkook is a deflated balloon on his bed, feeling like a bum in his ratty sweater and a dateless weekend. 

“It’s just that,” Taehyung puts a hand on his lip, mulling, “busy people don’t reply that fast. Like even if she wasn’t busy, there’s a fifteen-minute leeway before replying.” 

This silly rule overrides Jungkook’s mind for the rest of the week. 

The gyms have been reopened for months, and Jungkook’s trainer misses him dearly. Jungkook meets with Saeroyi in the morning, eager to get a few jabs in with some fresh equipment. He tries to move on, distract himself with a couple of pumps and a match with Saeroyi. It feels great to sweat it off, but it doesn’t help sway Jungkook’s incessant thoughts. 

The ball is in your court now, Jungkook has nothing to do but wait. Some people are just bad texters, maybe you just happened to have your phone near you when Taehyung sent the message. Maybe you just wanted to cut Jungkook off as quickly as possible so you decided to reply fast and rip the band-aid. 

No, you’re definitely not that cold-hearted. 

Re-entering his apartment complex, his eyes linger towards where your room lies on the first floor. It’s all the way at the end of the hallway, and he’s tempted to just confront you and make sure that what you and him really had is indeed, over. Conversely, you could just really be having a bad week and you genuinely do want a raincheck. 

Jungkook’s eyes trail to his form. Still in his gym clothes, and a little sweaty from the travel time. If he gets caught, he can just tell you he’s doing a cooldown by running across the hallways. Not the first time it’s happened, afterall it led him to you at one point. 

He breaks into a soft jog, making a beeline to your front door. His feet squish against your old welcome mat. You haven’t changed it since Halloween, and he smiles fondly at the black scripted “Boo Y’all” written in script next to a chibi-ghost. 

His heart beats faster as his hand lingers by the door, ready to knock. Deep breaths. Who knows, he could just be overthinking (like usual.) 

“Fuck, Hobi!” 

Jungkook freezes, his knuckles a centimeter away from your door. He backs up as if he’s been burned. His heart has fallen all the way down to his ass, and intends to stay there because now he feels like a damn fool. 

The bed is creaking relentlessly, a rhythmic pattern that has Jungkook’s face crumbling at every spring. Jungkook’s face hovers over the door, his ear brushing against the wood. 

“C’mon, bunny,” the male voice is teasing, “you know you love having me over. It would satisfy both of us if you’d just let it go.” 

Bunny. A cute pet name, for sure. The way it rolls off the stranger’s tongue is natural, as if he’s been saying it for years. But what about being his doll, is that not good enough? 

You’re huffy, taking deep breaths. He doesn’t want to hear anymore. Jungkook has put himself through enough self-wallowing for the week. What if he was just a stepping stone to meeting new people that will satisfy you better? What if you just needed one good orgasm to get your flow back, and Jungkook’s job is done? Sure, there were no strings attached when he proposed to have sex with you, but he thought… 

No more thinking. Jungkook jogs away from the door, even going so far is to jog all the way up to the penthouse. 

He hates this. 

You hate this. 

It’s been five days since Hoseok’s arrival, and you are going bonkers. Why couldn’t he get a hotel or an AirBnB? Because he’s cheap as fuck, that’s why. Your dinky cousin has been clinging to you like a lonely koala, and while you found it cute in the 5th grade, it doesn’t translate well nearly two decades later. 

Every morning is the same. You make a subpar toast and Nutella breakfast, letting Hoseok’s slices go cold as you log in for work. You’ve been clocking in earlier in the hopes to finish the majority of your tasks before Hoseok wakes up, because by then you can barely function. Once he wakes up, he’s relentless, bouncing on the bed and talking your head off while you try to concentrate on whatever your boss is telling you. Whenever he jumps too hard, your cheap mattress causes your laptop to fly, and the only thing you can do is curse him out. Sometimes he plays Disney movies and sings in tandem, choreography and all. 

You know that Hoseok is stressed and this is his outlet, and you don’t have it in you to stop his incessant habits. He’s visiting your area because of a lucrative job offer nearby and the interviews are sporadic, making Hoseok linger in your apartment for hours at a time until he’s summoned for whatever test they want to throw at him. 

Most of the interviews are in the evening, and it’s when you can clock back in and finish your leftover assignments while Hoseok is also working. By the time he returns, you’re dog tired and so is he. 

Every night, you try to move away from Hoseok’s clingy self, as he grapples onto your waist and slings a thigh over your belly. You wish it were someone else sharing the bed with you. 

If you bring Jungkook into the picture however, you’d be burnt for the week. Complete crumbs. It would be too much stimulation for you, having to balance work, Hoseok’s incessant attitude, and putting on a face for Jungkook. Your relationship with the penthouse neighbor is barely budding, hardly watered considering Hoseok’s sudden visit. You cling to the fact that in a couple days you would be giving your undivided attention to Jungkook, most of your priorities out of the way, and most importantly, you’ll have your own room back. 

Maybe you could surprise him by giving him a pasta dinner, just like he proposed. 

Unable to get the thought out of your head, you blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand. It’s late, very late for a workday. The blue screen burns your eyes a bit, but you're determined to at least check up on Jungkook. You can’t take too long, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep and get him out of your head. Dear, unassuming cousin Hoseok is fast asleep next to you, due to the fact it’s nearly midnight. Making sure not to disrupt him, you carefully cup your phone in your hands, putting it on the lowest light setting. 

[11:54] You: hey, hope work hasnt been as draining for u as it’s been for me  ☠️  what’s your opinion on pasta sauces, red or white? 

Jungkook is normally a fast texter, at least from your experience. It’s you that’s the sporadic texter, sometimes taking hours to reply, other times in seconds. It never really mattered until now, however. But it takes five, ten, and finally fifteen minutes before you get a response. 

[12:09] Jungkook: ??? 

You frown, wondering what you said wrong. 

[12:10] You: do you not wanna do pasta anymore? Are you craving something else now?

[12:10] Jungkook: i don’t think it’d work out 

[12:10] You: why? 

[12:11] Jungkook: im sure you know why, bunny. 

Strange. He’s never called you bunny before, and in your opinion you think he’d be the bunny in the relationship—soft and cuddly on the outside, and an absolute horn ball in bed. Is this some sort of weird power play? Is he being passive aggressive on purpose? Whatever this game is, you’re not into it. Grumbling under your breath, you snake out of bed, looking blindly for your slippers in the dark. You’ll be in and out of Jungkook’s apartment in ten minutes. 

Just as your hand brushes the doorknob, your new roommate calls for you. 

“Bunny?” Hoseok calls blearily, and you’re staring straight at his cookie-printed eye mask, “what time is it, where are you going?” 

“Um, out,” you reply shortly, “I forgot I left my laundry in the dryer.” 

“Oh, m’kay. Come back soon, y’know I can’t sleep alone.” 

It’s then you realize. Bunny. Jungkook thinks that Hoseok and you are a thing. He really needs to stop eavesdropping on you. 

You feel your pussy frown. Your cousin is such a cockblock and he doesn’t even know it. Without an answer, you slip through your door and into the first free elevator. As you zing up the floors with the magical 1234 code, you work and rework your hair in and out of its style, wondering if you’ll look more presentable with your hair messy or thrown back. 

As soon as you reach the penthouse, you burst into action. “Jungkook!” you cry, pounding the front door, “it’s a misunderstanding, open up!” 

The door immediately swings open after the first three knocks, and you punch Taehyung in the chest. 

“You look awful,” Kim Taehyung drawls. Taehyung is wearing nothing but a cranberry red silk kimono, and you have to avert your eyes and focus on his face, which is even worse because he’s looking at you like an all-knowing psychic. 

“Gee, thanks,” you try to move past him, but he’s blocking the door. 

“Jungkook’s in a meeting with some foriegn developers,” Taehyung talks with his hands, pretending like he has any idea of the nature of his roommate’s job, “when it’s this late he doesn’t leave his office until morning. Door’s locked.” 

“Well then, can you relay a message?” 

“Depends, is this message going to hurt him further?” 

Oh my goodness, when Taehyung wants to be he is such an enabler. “Tell Jungkook he’s done wallowing. Instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe he should’ve just asked me why we couldn’t go on a date this week.” 

“You could’ve also just told him you have a man on the side.” 

“Ohmygod you two are two iotas of a combined braincell!” you shove your hands in your pocket, hotly scrolling through your phone so you can shove a picture in his face. “This is Jung Hoseok, my cousin who derailed my plans this week by crashing in my too-tiny apartment and forced me to raincheck with Jungkook. He’s a blabbermouth and would tell everyone—my parents, my grandparents, my great-aunts—about Jungkook if he found out I was dating, and I’m not ready for that,” you zoom in on the picture, despite the fact that the screen is practically touching Taehyung’s nose, “and the reason Hoseok calls me bunny is not sexual—you two are fucking gross—I had front tooth problems in elementary school and I had a brace on my two big teeth, it was not pretty.” 

“Ah, bunny.” Taehyung echoes with wide eyes, looking at you as if you’re now the one with sage wisdom, “it all makes sense now.” He gulps, taking in the old photo of a mini-Hoseok and you, yourself frowning to cover your huge braces and Hoseok trying to pull your gums apart with his greasy little fingers. 

Satisfied by Taehyung’s evident squirming, you decide you’re too tired to further this interaction. “Tell the other half of your cell for me, will ya?” You’re already turning away, pressing repeatedly at the elevator button, “I would love to go on a date with him as soon as he gets his head out of his ass.” 

Jungkook is tired, but not tired enough to murder Taehyung and make it look like an accident. 

When he has late meetings, Taehyung is usually quieter around the apartment, and even gets Jungkook a hot meal once he wakes up in the afternoons. Today, Jungkook slept through and through. Normally he’d wake up midway to Taehyung’s television dramas, or the clanging of last night’s dishes but nope, not a peep. 

And today’s hot meal is takeout from Jungkook’s favorite ramen restaurant. That only means one thing—something has gone to shit and Taehyung feels guilty. 

Jungkook sips his tonkotsu impossibly slow, hearing Taehyung’s words—your words from last night—clear as day. Taehyung even describes in detail where the nickname bunny comes from, down to how miserable you looked in the photo with your monstrously metal-bent teeth. Oh, how he wishes he can swaddle you between the blankets, hold you and comfort you while you deal with your family. 

[2:45] Jungkook: doll, im so sorry

[2:45] Jungkook: please, i booked us a weekend at that new spa that just opened downtown. The tickets are flex, so if your cousin doesn’t leave by then week we can always reschedule 

[2:51] Jungkook: baby doll… 

This is far worse than believing you didn’t like him. Now Jungkook is antsy, knowing you deserve all the space in the world because of how silly he was being. You owe him nothing. If he just waited it out until you were ready, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He’s potato-esque throughout the day, thankfully Taehyung gives him space as he watches hours of mindless television. 

You don’t reply until very late into the night. 

[10:10] You: IM ALIVE--barely!! And mr. jeon, you’re not only a triple texter, but an ellipsis texter???? You’re asking for trouble

Jungkook has no shame, immediately texting you back. He can’t help it, he’s smitten. 

[10:12] Jungkook: taehyung explained everything. It’s all his fault. Don’t ask why, it’s his fault. Im so sorry. 

[10:12] You: mm, it’s okay. Just a misunderstanding. I was pretty upset last night, but i’ve been pretty tired this week so my fuse is short. 

[10:14] Jungkook: you should go to sleep now, doll. We’ll have time together after your cousin leaves

[10:14] You: just a couple more minutes. Miss u and your cute face 

[10:16] Jungkook: 

[10:16] Jungkook: will this hold u off until saturday?

Jungkook is a pile of goo. Pink, warm, happy heart-glittered goo. It takes a minute for you to reply, and for that whole minute Jungkook is kicking his legs under the sheets of his bed like an eager five-year old who just gave his crush his Valentine. Maybe it’s taking you so long to reply because you’re trying to send a selfie of your own, running off to the bathroom to take a cute selfie if your cousin is asleep in bed. 

[10:19] You: fuck, i kno that’s supposed to be a cute selfie, but i want you so bad. I want to sit on your face, let your lips glisten with my pussy as i cum all over that pretty face

[10:19] You: i wanna touch myself so badly but fuckin’ hoseok is out here snoring like he’s gon hack a lung. Panties are so wet 🥺🥺 your doll is needy for you, wanna be played with

[10:20] Jungkook: lfjsdl;fkjs;fjsoisfoisljsdfsdklfjsdklf 

He throws his phone across the bed, feeling himself twitch in his red flannel pyjama bottoms. The thought of you so hot and needy when you’re ten floors down has Jungkook absolutely livid. He doesn’t know how he’s going to talk to you, comfort you without missing you like crazy. 

Jungkook thinks back to what he has in his fridge. His contractor sent him a cheese assortment, maybe he can bring it down pretending to be a friendly neighbor. Maybe Hoseok can go to the convenience store to conveniently grab a bottle of wine. He can make both of you cum in five minutes, flat. 

Akin to a dumb, horny teenager, he sighs. He rubs his palm longingly over his member. He’s horny, but he’s also eager to see your face. Talk to you, get reacquainted with your routine and sneak his way into it. He wants to be a part of your life, and he’s hoping you will too. 

[5:02] You: Jungkook, you left me hanging last night

[5:05] Jungkook: baby doll… i wouldnt have been able to handle myself if we continued

[5:06] You: so you decided to dip :( 

[5:06] You: could u play with your doll a lil bit, kook? Hobi left for another interview

[5:08] You: PNG.0901

Jungkook was a fool to believe that you would drop him like that. No, Jungkook can see now that you two are a match made in heaven. You have a bite, never afraid to speak your mind when needed. This translates to a hunger you shamelessly share with Jungkook, both sexual and romantically intimate. He almost wishes he could’ve seen you act like a bitch to Taehyung last night, he can only imagine how sexy you looked telling him off. 

He has the technology to blow up your picture, the one that’s currently having him close his laptop and shove it to the side. He spreads his legs further across his glass desk, trying to find comfort between his tight pants as he absorbs every bit of your skin. 

It’s nothing too risque, but it’s nothing short of sensual. The room is dark, but it’s very clearly a picture of your hand between your thighs. Again, you’re between your wall and bed, squished between your office chair with your legs spread as far as they can go. Your skin is so soft looking, plush as you press two fingers between your damp panties. Adorable. 

[5:12] Jungkook: you know why i never replied last night? Because i was too busy jacking off to your dirty words doll. U really need your mouth washed

[5:12] You: wanna wash it with something else🍆

[5:12] You: please kook, i need something. Hoseok will come home soon and i might rip his head off. Help prevent a murder

Jungkook chuckles, clutching his phone closer to his body. He loves how much you’re opening up to him. Last week feels like so long ago, how you were all flushed and wide-eyed at the proposition of sex. He thinks you two can have a lot of fun getting to know each other, both emotionally and physically. 

[5:15] Jungkook: i was gonna wait until i sent this, but i think my doll needs it. Here’s what i was doing last night

[5:17] Jungkook: MP4.13

He… has a meeting in five minutes. A very important, very serious meeting. Jungkook jacked off enough last night, now it’s your turn. He hopes you like it. It’s not a very long video, barely a twenty-second clip of him fisting his cock. Taehyung was still home at the time, so he had to keep quiet. However, he couldn’t get the image of you out of his head that night, rubbing your thighs together in a cramped mattress as you try to erase the dirty thoughts of him. A murmur of your name, and the image of his precum dripping down his knuckles. You hope it’s enough. 

[5:34] You: u make everything so much easier💜✨

[5:35] You: MP4.234

Two minutes. The video you send is even shorter than his, barely fifteen seconds. You’re in a much more comfortable position, horizontal on the bed. Your shirt is ridden up to the underside of your breasts, one hand clutching your bare breast so hard he can see your cotton plush skin bulging between your fingers. The other hand has your panties shifted to the side, three fingers in your sopping cunt. 

“Mmh—fuck, f-uck Jungkook—” the words are mere breaths, puffs of air as you reach your orgasm. 

His call connects. He nearly drops his phone on the glass.  

“Jungkook!” Andreas from Germany wishes him brightly, “you look great, glowing even!” 

Jungkook blushes, and mutters something about having to go to the bathroom before they start. 

Taehyung makes himself scarce on Saturday. He packs a duffel bag for himself and takes the PlayStation, knowing it’ll be a long weekend at Jimin’s. 

Jungkook is on livewire for the morning. He even express-delivers a pasta roller to his house, and he spends all morning testing out the perfect pasta dough. His black apron is covered in flour, and he can barely comprehend the tutorial that’s teaching him on his flatscreen. 

He’s on autopilot. He hasn’t contacted you since he sent that selfie, and he doesn’t intend to. Jungkook understands why you made yourself scarce in the beginning of the week, preferring to raincheck and pin your relationship for a better time. Jungkook’s brain is overridden with you, swollen with thoughts of you. You would never be able to focus if you kept in contact like you did last night, especially if you can’t get away from Hoseok. 

Absence surely makes the heart grow fonder. 

Slapping his hands against his trousers, he surveys his handiwork. His pasta is appropriately floured and wrung, each handful of fresh dough wrapped in little nests. Off the stove is a bechamel sauce, a base ready to be cooked in whatever kind of pasta dish you want. He thinks the two of you would have fun making your own non-traditional pasta dishes. 

The soft knocks on his front door interrupts his train of thought, and he knows it’s you. 

You stand in front of the door, impossibly small in a large shirt and a plain pair of leggings. At the sight of Jungkook, a smile as warm and sweet as hot chocolate worms its way to your face, and you collapse into his arms. 

He sighs gratefully, sinking into your small body. When he pulls away, he can’t help but frown at your apparent exhaustion. You must’ve come back from something tedious, because sweat dots your brow and your eyes are still puffy and dark. Your chest arches bonelessly into his, hoping to melt in his embrace. 

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he replies. 

“It’s Saturday.” 

“It is Saturday.” 

You rub your nose between the fabric of his button down, “I should’ve been more specific when I wanted to raincheck on you,” you murmur into the white cotton. 

“No, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” Jungkook whispers, even though you’re the only two people on the floor, “I’ll make it better, yeah? I’m going to love you so good tonight, won’t have to lift a finger—” 

You shake your head, looking at him calmly. “Jungkook, it’s been a long week. Hobi got the job, I spent all this morning moving his two-ton speaker set into his new apartment. I don’t want anything gentle. I want you to rail me into next week,” Jungkook chokes on his saliva when you reach to cup his dick through his pants, already sporting a chub, “fuck me breathless. I want—no, I need this.”

Anything for you, but Jungkook isn’t going to let your mouth runneth over that easily. He wants that too, obviously. But again, you’ve made him wait. 

Bending slightly, Jungkook whispers darkly into your ear, “Who said you can decide the rules here, doll?”  he’s been waiting all week to slip back into this persona, one that has you shivering delightfully under his touch. A small, secret smile tucks itself under your lips as you tilt your head down, but Jungkook catches it. It shows you’ve missed it too. He lets your sneaky smile  slide for now, only because he’s missed you so much and you’ve had a long day. 

“If I wanna fuck you rough, I’ll fuck you rough. If I want to edge you until you're sobbing on the corner of the kitchen table, I’ll do it,” Jungkook spits every declaration into your skin, biting at your shoulder so hard you cry deliciously. 

He drags you over to the living room, and he could sing at how easily you follow directions. Both of you have been tied up this week, and some hard sex would definitely ease that frustration, “Knees,” Jungkook commands, and you waste no time sinking to the floor, hands atop your knees. 

You look up through your lashes, eyes big and glassy. His poor girl is tired, and he finds it all the more attractive that you’re willing to push that aside to make eachother feel good. 

“Pretty, pretty,” he chants, pulling down his pants and letting his dick spring free, “suck.” 

You waste no time, and he watches as your eyes dilate over the expanse of his cock, half-hard and ready for your mouth. Your nails dig into your knees as you start with featherlight kisses, finally turning into sloppy smacks as you lick all over his dick. 

Jungkook groans, weaving a hand into your hair to force his dick down your throat. You gag at the sudden intrusion, but it doesn’t stop you from taking it like a champ. Hard, deep thrusts that he’s sure you can feel all the way in your stomach. You gag at each thrust, but don’t let up as your hot tongue wraps him up and licks at the pre-cum. 

“Fuuuuck, doll,” he rips you away, his now hard dick springing away. He’s a little shaky on his knees, but he plants his feet down as he grips his cock, slapping the tip of it across your cheek. It smears your face, glossing your flushed cheeks in a mixture of your saliva and pre-cum. “Are you trying to make me cum first? So sweet, you don’t even care if you cum tonight, hmm? You owe me, making you believe you had another man.” 

This isn’t true, of course. The both of you know it was just miscommunication, but it doesn’t hurt to play it up for pleasure. 

“N-no Kook, I’m yours,” you grapple at his pants, pulling them down so he can get them off completely. 

“Right. You’re. Mine.” With every punctuated word is a light slap to your cheek, and you take it. His cock bounces right off of you, until you finally move your head to suckle at the engorged tip, “I’m keeping you forever, doll. Don’t you know that?” 

Throughout this whole process, you don’t move, other than the minute clawing at your knees. You’re so good to him. Jungkook pulls away and ignores the ache in his member for now, taking off your clothes for himself. It’s like unwrapping a gift, revealing every bit of skin reserved for his viewing. “So sexy,” he remarks once he’s got you bare, pulling you onto the couch. He’s still in his button down shirt, his date night shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. However, he lets your hands inch under the stiff fabric, feeling for his taut muscle. 

He guides your aching cunt to his cock, sinking you down. It’s a tight fit, and you both moan at the brush of contact. Despite not being prepped, you’re still slick, and it makes up for it. He doesn’t thrust up or anything, just guides his lips to yours with a threadbare brush of his finger. 

“Kook, d-do you want me to move?” you mumble against his cherry-flavored lip balm. 

“Good dolls don’t move until they’re told,” your eyes widen innocently at the statement, and you crumple against his mouth, at his next words, “cum like this.” 

“Awh shit, please no,” you tear up, burying your head between the crook of his neck, “I can’t wait.” 

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you into next week. You can’t do this one little favor for me?” he’s being so mean, and you hate him for it. Haven’t you earned it? “C’mon baby, I thought you wanted me?” 

It’s silent, save for the soft Italian restaurant music playing from whatever tutorial he’s hooked up to his television. It’s terribly cliche, like you’re in the porno version of a European romance movie. He thinks nothing of it, not when your juices are dripping on his thighs, your skin soft and pliant in his grip. Jungkook drums his fingers against your spine, seemingly uncaring that you’re stuffed deep into your womb. 

On the other hand, it’s the only thing you’re acutely aware of. His thick, warm cock is nestled between your folds, right where it should be. You clench once, twice, thankful that this isn’t some crazed wet dream. States of sleep and consciousness have blurred this week, you’re lucky that you made it all the way up to Jungkook’s apartment. 

You can’t cum like this. You need to bait him. You moan, the sound slow and rumbly against your throat as you weave your fingers through his dark tresses. Moving the strands aside to kiss his cold metal earrings you murmur, “I love this, Kookoo. I’ve wanted you all week, I was going crazy. I kept playing last week in my head over and over. I even put in my little vibrator, hoping you’d pull up the app.” 

Jungkook’s teeth clench, and his grip is borderline painful as it digs into your hips. 

“I haven’t been able to cum all week, and I want to do it all over you,” you husk, playing with the roots of his hair. 

You can feel yourself dripping, wetness lubricating you even further and probably staining his thighs and couch with your arousal. Every second that passes is killer, and the fluttering towards your pussy tighten further as Jungkook’s cock twitches in response. Your pussy continues its ministrations, butterfly-like flaps against his hot member that have you vibrating.

“Mm, oh, I’ll cum for you,” and surprisingly, you might be able to. All this dirty talking has gotten you riled up. Just a little bit more and—

Jungkook shoves you off his cock, forcing you to land on the couch. 

“No!” you cry, wiping your face. Your cheeks are ruddied, and you’re annoyed. The coolness of the autumn air has you feeling chilly, and you want to scream at Jungkook for disrupting your orgasm. You feel empty. 

You’re not annoyed for long however, as Jungkook flips you on your back and gives you what you’ve been craving. 

“You glide right in, don’t ya doll,” the friction is deliciously blazing, his hands pushing you further into the large couch as he takes you from behind. Hot, fast smacks against your ass come from the way his balls bounce back and forth as he pistons his cock in and out. “F-fuck, you’re so good to me. So good, I love having you like this. All pretty and dripping, you really know how to make a guy wait, huh?” 

“Mmph! N-no—hng, but I’m y-yours, Kook,” you garble out, and you’re practically eating the throw pillow you’re propped up on as he slams you further into the cushions, so hard you may fall off, “all yours, honey. N-no more waiting. I want you, want you so badly—ah fuck!” 

“It’s worth it, you’re worth it,” he says over and over, his thrusts becoming sporadic and losing their rhythm once he feels you clenching uncontrollably. He presses his two fingers to your sloppy bud, swirling around the juices eagerly. “C-cum, baby doll. You deserve it, yeah? Cum on this cock, let go.” 

You’re starting to see spots, black and white alike. Finally shying away from his cock you rest on your back, but Jungkook doesn’t stop his fingers from flying across your clit. One look at his face and you’re gone. Pretty brown eyes, overflowing with affection. The feeling is different, and it’s the acute pressure between your stomach and pussy that makes you notice what’s going on with your body. The pressure finally releases, your eyes fluttering shut as you rest your cheek on the cushions. You dissolve, a mess on the couch as white hot liquid ejects from your body, spraying Jungkook’s thighs and cushions. 

“Y-you just,” your lover’s mouth is parted open like a baby kitten, uncaring as to how the dark liquid stains his couch fabric. 

“Squirted?” you answer breathlessly, a melty smile on your lips, “y-yeah.” 

 It sets him off, a button left dormant until now. The thatches of hair that surround his cock are dripping with your mess, a cold reminder that he got you to this high. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his cock back into you, and you gasp at the overstimulation. You try not to focus on how your body is a bundle of lit nerves, only to help Jungkook reach his completion. 

“S-so perfect,” he warbles, pressing kisses to your jaw, chin, lips. Each thrust is deep, thick and heady with emotion. “Mm, I wanna cream this pussy sooo badly—mm, all mine, all wet and warm and so so sweet—” 

He cries out your name, biting into your shoulder as your walls fill further with his hot cream. Your thighs are shaking from sensory overload, and Jungkook has to hold you down and soothe you into a state of reality to cling on. 

Satiated, he nuzzles into your chest, feeling absolutely featherlight. 

“T-thank you,” you say gratefully, when at least three out of your five senses return to your body. Your hands dip down to clutch his cheek, pinching lightly at the warm skin.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jungkook exhales into your breasts, “d-didn’t even feed you my cum yet.” 

You scoff, pinching his cheek again. You’re aware of his softening cock between your folds, ready to seep the efforts of today’s coupling, but your stomach says otherwise. You crane your neck to make note of the kitchen island, staring curiously at the metal pasta roller and the little nests of carby goodness that decorate the cutting board. 

“Feed me pasta first, please. You have all night to feed me dessert.” 

Jungkook giggles into your stomach, he doesn’t mind feeding you in that order. 

bonus.

“So.” 

“So?” you have cream sauce on your lips, happily slurping on an angel hair. 

“You haven’t told me you liked me back yet,” Jungkook rests his palm in the swell of his cheek, content with watching you eat from where he’s standing on the counter. He leans his upper body across the marble table, muscles rippling against his white shirt. 

“Oh, I did!” you’re affronted, swinging your legs on the high chair, “I totally did last week!” 

“Yeah, well. Can you say it while I’m not inside you?” 

“Okay,” you blink, quirking him with a simple smile, “I like you.” 

“That was anticlimactic,” Jungkook jokes at the brevity of your confession, yet his heart betrays the charm he finds in the three words. 

You scoff, jabbing your fork in the little next of springy noodles. “What do you want to hear? I’ve wanted you since I’ve moved in? I think you’re really handsome when you pace the hallway doing work on your phone? I like the way you cook?” 

“Keep going,” Jungkook sing songs, walking over to hug you from behind.

The stool swings back and forth as he rocks the two of you, softly and slowly so you don’t throw up your dinner. He noses into your neck, inhaling your scent and committing it to your memory. 

“Mm, dessert first,” you insist, twirling around the stool so you can wrap your legs around his waist. “And then I can tell you exactly how much I like you,” your fingers play with the buttons of his shirt, walking the pads of your fingers across his chest. 

Jungkook grins, hands reaching to cup your bottom and bring you to his bedroom. Of course, he’s always willing to satisfy your insatiable appetite.