#cotswalds

[andallshallbewell]

[totally-a-sheep]

And here we are: Burton-on-the Water.

Well, actually we're in a café is Leicester right now (thanks for the one glass of water and wifi, baa-haha), but I took this magnificent picture earlier:

Majestic. And a very friendly duck.

Stay tuned for.... South Cerney and Bibury!

[c0zm4z]

park! I love park so much

[unknownarmageddon]

Hey dude............... I hope you don't mind....................

If I send you artfight things I think you might like. Just to look at.

https://artfight.net/character/5507951.surge

https://artfight.net/character/5507953.lars

OUHH ohh i definitely don’t mind dude i love looking at art and character design. these characters rule holy shit

[vyniella]

The cotswalds!!

Future designs just because :p

I’ll probs do more drawings with their designs bc I love them and I wished they had more screen time (crying)

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

I missed this story.

Notes:

She "secretly" traveled to the US before the wedding. For security purposes, stayed free of charge in the Beckham's Beverly Hills mansion instead of with her own mother or her own "friends." Did she even bother to see her father?

Millie described the same lovebombing techniques as VBeck: mm requested Millie's London based beauty secrets, etc.

Cotswalds rental home was a "renovated barn."

Meghan accused someone of leaking her details to the press??😂 No one except Sparry believes the Beckham's leaked mm's beauty appointment info to the press. If anything SHE leaked the info as an excuse to sever ties with the couple.

pattern: lovebomb as the helpless/needy damsel in distress, create a crisis to engineer separation, fall to the floor in tears devastated by accusations of betrayal, sparry phones to fix it, revenge/retaliation (uninvited to wedding party, ignored at the Invictus Games)

Bower gets the fashion details wrong:

The Victoria Beckham white coat and "chains" dress was worn for the 2019 Commonwealth Service, not for her final Abbey appearance in 2020.

The VB navy coat was worn 2x: Christmas 2018 & NYC Polo Bar in 2019

I've noticed that Catherine enjoys her Victoria Beckham white handbag. She carried it post-partum to a Polo Match with the kids and at multiple Wimbledon matches.

Thanks @poupoune

[jmscornerlibrary]

My new favourite thing is drawing these two. ☕🦅🍷

Professor Cotswald and his corvid, Kruks.

I'm still gushing over the sleeves

[epitomereally]

'tis the damn season wip snip

THANK YOU @wolfpants & @mallstars for tagging me to share a wip snip (please see wolf's incredible wip snip for terrible people — which i am incredibly excited for — here and mallstars wip snip — for draco as a LIBRARIAN, kill me now please & thanks — here)! sorry it took me ~5 million years to get to it, but i am finally revisiting my beleaguered wip post-secret work completion. @mallstars and @queermccoy have given me excellent alpha feedback & am slowly making a plan of attack to fix the damn thing. this snip is later in this scene feat. emotional disaster case Harry and haughty, prickly, and desperate-to-be-loved Draco.

Malfoy gave him a scathing look. “Whatever I said to Ginevra was said without the intent of getting into your good graces and the second I tell what exactly I said, it’ll become about that, at least a little bit. All this to say, I will never, ever tell you.”

Harry narrowed his eyes at Malfoy, and Malfoy picked up his mug again, held it in front of his face, and said, trying to sound haughty and cold, but falling slightly short, “If you’re to … to love me, it’s on my own merits.”

Harry couldn’t look at Malfoy after that, just took another gulp of tea and tried to calm his pacing heart. Could Harry really love Draco Malfoy, who tormented him and his friend for years, who had a Dark Mark, who was nothing like the pathetic dream Harry clung onto of a cottage in the Cotswalds like his parents, like Ron and Hermione? Trying not to sound strangled, Harry said, “Can we just be … friends? Like can we hang out?”

Malfoy bristled. “Malfoys don’t audition, Potter.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Harry slammed the mug down, sloshing a bit of tea on the gleaming coffee table, and ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t … I don’t do this, I’ve never … I don’t know what I’m doing, and you’re so“—and he waved a hand up and down Malfoy’s body, who clutched his mug of tea tighter to his chest, looking unsure if he should be offended or flattered—“bloody gorgeous and obviously funny and … and interesting, but we have so much history and look, we’ve done the shagging thing and it’s obviously great, but I don’t actually know you, do I?”

After Harry’s outburst, he snatched his mug up off the table and drained it, sure Malfoy was about to kick him out of his gorgeous cheerful home. But Malfoy actually looked to be thinking Harry’s proposition through. He ran his finger down the handle of his mug over and over, considering Harry. 

Eventually, he just said, “Fine.”

“Fine?” Harry said, hardly daring to hope.

“Fine. Fine, but,” Malfoy brandished a finger at Harry. “I won’t be waiting for you like some damsel-in-distress. I’ve been through too much to wait around for someone to decide if I’m good enough for them, even The Chosen One.” His voice dripped with disdain.

Harry frowned his direction. “I’ve been through a lot too!”

Malfoy sneered and Harry was forcefully hit with the reminder of the Malfoy he hated. “I’m not turning this into a competition of who has suffered more, Potter.”

“Well, if it were, I would win,” Harry muttered darkly.

Always love to see what anyone (aka YOU, reading this post) are working on, so please post & tag me if you do, but tagging @romaine2424 because i'm so intrigued by your long fic, @tackytigerfic because i will beg for scraps of multiverse drarry fic at your doorstep if you let me, @vukovich because i love your brand of derangement in my life, and ofc @mallstars and @wolfpants because i am truly obsessed with both of your wips.

[secundus-cinaedus]

i don't care you can make fun of me for britposting all you want... but to be in the cotswalds eating a sunday roast with a nice pint of cider right now..... the dream

[ineffablelunatic]

Whether the ghosts are cat or dog people based on ✨vibes only✨

AKA which animal they act more like.

Captain - cat person. He has the aloofness and also cats don't need anyone at all (but secretly do). Maybe I want him to move to the Cotswalds and live his best gay life with a kitten and a boyfriend of his choice idk.

Pat - He gives major white lab vibes. Like golden retriever energy but it's a middle aged man from Yorkshire.

Kitty - I'm a little torn on this one because her name is KITTY, but she has the adorable friendliness of a dog. I also feel like she would love both puppies and kittens so she gets both because she deserves it <3

Fanny - another one I'm not sure on because my gut says cat (she just acts like a posh cat who bats things with her paws every so often), but also Dante the dog.

Julian - Cat person. He's annoying and likes to mess with people. He would be that cat who tries to persuade you to rub his belly and then rips your arm off. Also Julian following a laser would be amazing.

Robin - Dog. He runs after squirrels and howls at the moon. Enough said.

Humphrey - Kinda gives the vibe of some kind of really chill dog but I feel like he would also be happy with a tabby cat. Anything as long as it keeps him company.

Mary - Honestly I really can't tell but I feel like she'd think cats are devilspawn and so she would probably get some sort of dog. She does give cat vibes tho...

Thomas - Cat, but the really dramatic sort that sees a cucumber and jumps ten feet in the air. Cries a lot and meows whenever Alison isn't home.

[zisurru]

vomshit anon again yeah… and ANCESTRAL HOME in the cotswalds oh i’m sure. also yes so many uhh uncharitable comparisons between louis and david, even if it’s not explicit atm…so something interesting with david in chapter five (shock!) -

‘That’s what sends us Englishmen into the tropics. We have to get away from all this propriety, this tradition — and immerse ourselves in some seemingly savage culture which we can never tame or really understand.’

‘I only left Rio finally, because I knew if I didn’t, I never would. David Talbot the Englishman would have been no more.’

so obviously ties between male homosexuality and anthropology, but also european imperialism and homosexuality. (accompanied here by the usual about ‘going native’ lmao) like the ways the colonies were viewed as a site of relative freedom for white / european male homosexuals….forgoing married life for complete immersion in a foreign culture and homosocial (+ sexual) relations with foreign men, the desire 2 leave bourgeois or aristocrat life and envisioning escaping to these places and living as like a gay primitivist.

ofc through these actions they were mostly just upholding british imperial rule and further entrenching the systems they felt they were rebelling against or escaping from.

but then this falls kind of flat with david anyway as he seems completely unaffected by any real feelings of alienation, his travelling is framed as an escape for him but just from ‘propriety’ and ‘tradition’ lol. no fear no alienation, nothing internalised. he was a young man in the 30s and 40s! homosexuality and ‘homosexual acts’ were illegal here until 1967! also no real tangible connection another person lol. like he mentions an affair with a brazilian boy but it seems unimportant to him in comparison with his occult experiences that follow. but i am soo curious abt his ‘sophisticated gentlemen’ friends…idk im just spewing.

also while i do love mojo the dog i was referring 2 was louis. forgivable misunderstanding skdjddf. infamous waitress scene! noted

“also no real tangible connection another person lol. like he mentions an affair with a brazilian boy but it seems unimportant to him in comparison with his occult experiences that follow” yeah fr, this whole storyline mostly seems to focus on valorizing david as this swashbuckling raconteur, and in a way that invokes some really ugly colonialist imagery and implications. like, the mother of the boy david has an affair with in brazil is completely correct to be upset that david, an older man, wants to pull her son out of school and put him in danger. but she’s the one who ends up eating humble pie with david being a natural talent as a candomblé priest 🤨

i should have realized what you meant when you specified his little shack…also because louis is a snarly little purse dog while mojo is a big beautiful beast…

[andallshallbewell]

[duchessofostergotlands]

ngl, and i don’t think it’s been confirmed yet, but if i was beatrice i’d keeping hanging out at st james’s instead of leaving for the cotswalds. the only other royal residents are anne and alexandra, who both have separate private residences of their own. i think the possibility of having a palace essentially to myself would be too tempting, though at the same time i would probably act like kevin in home alone and have the run of the place.

I don’t know any story about Beatrice moving but I actually have been inside St James’s, I went for an interview many years ago so I got to go to a few different rooms in the palace. I think to be honest with “palaces” and castles, except from Windsor and BP, they are really just big houses or campuses and everyone gets a segment. It sounds absurd because any of us would bite your hand off to live in St James’s but I don’t think the size of property she’s allocated would increase. I think if I was rich and starting a family I’d probably want to move out of London too. And the Cotswolds are beautiful, I went on holiday there as a teenager once (my friend’s family had a time share) and it was exactly what you think of when you think of the idyllic English countryside. So if someone was giving me free reign over BP or Windsor then absolutely, I’d choose that! But otherwise I would definitely choose a house where I had more control over renovations, somewhere with a proper big garden, somewhere more private and not slap bang in the middle of London. 

As I say, any normal person would be thrilled to live in a palace but if you’re rich and have the option, I’d choose countryside over St James’s any day of the week. 

[c0zm4z]

Can you do mark and Rebecca please

here is Cotswald twins! not the best, forgot to color in marks shoes, but yea

[erotictalesofjackson]

Declan wasn't blind. He knew Maude wanted other men. Everyone could see it. In a way she had a naivete that belied her age. She wasn't a woman who could hide her feelings or suppress her desires. It simply wasn't in her. She was too wild, too free, too untamed. Her hunger was there in her eyes, in her lips, in the sway of her hips. As soon as she saw a man she liked, everyone in the room knew it.

Declan also knew other people thought she treated him badly. He knew Maude felt this too. It was why she thought he was punishing her, taking her away from London to this big house in the Cotswalds. But he wasn't punishing her. Not even a little bit. He was simply following his own hunger which was for his work, for political freedom to prosecute his agenda on the TV screen. Maude was never a factor in his thinking. Or if she was, it was as an after thought.

So no, she wasn't treating him badly. No more than he treated her at least. And no, he didn't mind her flirtations. Far from it. The truth of the matter was they turned him on. He liked seeing other men desire her. He liked seeing their desire reflected back in her wide, playful eyes.

So when she went after Rupert... he actively kept out of the way. And that night when she came to him, he had her play out her fantasy. He let his body, his hands, his cock, substitute for Rupert's so she might feel a taste of what might have been.

"How would you have had him touch you?" he asked, trying to contain his excitement.

Confused, she didn't answer. Her fear of saying the wrong thing, her anxiety about being a bad wife, overcoming her power to speak her own mind.

She hesitated.

Then she took his hands and showed him.

The lust writ large across his face encouraged her.

"Like this?" He asked, caressing her breasts.

She nodded.

"And what would you have done to him?" Declan asked, a breathy quality making his voice catch.

Silently she wriggled down and with shaking hands she drew Declan's cock into her mouth.

"You'd really have sucked his cock?" Declan gasped in surprise. It was the first time she'd done that for him in years.

"Yes," she said quietly, "it's what I do for men who are brave enough to take me from my husband."

"Oh god," Declan moaned, almost cumming there and then.

"And then," she suggested, her confidence building with the strength of his reaction, "he'd push me back on the bed and I'd open my legs for him..."

Declan complied, positioning himself over her and sliding deep into his wife's wet pussy.

"Like this?"

"Yes," she moaned. Then she corrected herself, breathing softly into his ear. "No actually. Not quite like this. He'd be bigger and I'd be moaning his name as he fucked me harder and deeper than you."

"Do it," Declan moaned as his thrusts became frantic, "moan his name."

"Yes Rupert!" Maude moaned as her husband started to cum. "Rupert Rupert Ruuuuupereert..."

How would you have had him touch you?

[nycreligion]

102 years ago, hilarious "The Great Sermon Handicap" published in NYC

In 1922, Cosmopolitan magazine published English humourist P.G. Wodehouse’s take-down of the fluffy sermons of the Anglican Church. Entitled “The Great Sermon Handicap,” the satire features a scheme by his friend Bingo Little to score a big bet on which vicar in the summer retreat area of the Cotswalds has the longest sermon. Bingo has launched this scheme so that he can make a sudden show of…