#cork board au
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Tumblr ate up the quality, but Gremlin Sky enjoys all the pumpkin things that come in Fall!!!!
I love him
I just wanna squeeze him, your art style makes him so goober
#gremlin au#lu sky#1260 answering asks#I love him#Okay guys the moment I have a cork board I'm printing all and every gremlin Sky image from everyone#And it's going to hang in my bedroom where I can see a reason to be happier in the morning#*going feral over Gremlin Sky fanart*#gremlin sky
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Ok ok I need to post this before I forget because I have a bunch of spiderman au concepts flying around my head and I can’t draw them all atm so here we go
Mariana and Slime both go to the same university and live together as roommates.
Mariana is a journalism student and Slime studies biology/ some chemistry and works in Oscorp as an intern
They hate each other (at first) (they find each other very handsome but would never dare admit it)
Anyway
Mariana needs to report on something as part of his study, so he chooses Oscorp as part of his practice work (purely because the company is pretty sketch and NOT because his annoying roommate works there and he feels petty enough to hit two birds with one stone)
He gets in and joins the tour group walking around just outside the lab facility, noting down anything of importance unaware of an escaped lab experiment in the shape of a radioactive spider crawl onto his hand and bites
The next course of action is to obviously fight crime
Not too long later (like a week or two after Spider-Man’s debut) Slime sneaks into the secret project Oscorp has and encounters The Symbiote, a black green-ish substance that moves almost like it’s alive. Slime breaks the symbiote’s container like a dumbass. And with him being the closest vessel that would be “easy enough to control” gets possessed by the alien creature
Now Slime has to worry about eating people while his body is controlled by an alien on top of his other problems
After some time where Mariana and Slime clash both as their civilian and alter egos, they eventually grow closer and realise how much they care and love each other, perhaps they begin to fight crime together and call themselves a super-power couple or something equally as cheesey
They’re also freaks of nature but they’re in love
Aaaaaaa pls feel free to send any ideas over to my ask box I love hearing your thoughts :3
#if this sounds incomprehensible that’s just my stream of thought#imagine me pointing to a conspiracy cork board that’s how I write#this is why I’m not an author pepeLaugh#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp au#spiderman au#el mariana#slimecicle#slimeriana#fliporiana
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#so my work does these dumb little scavenger hunts periodically where they hide paper cut-outs around the store#and if you find one you bring it to this cork board and i guess whoever finds the most at the end gets a prize#and right now theyre doing flowers and the board has this little trivia blurb about tulips#BUT...... NONE OF THE PAPER FLOWERS ARE TULIPS#those are DAISIES..... THEY'RE NOT EVEN SIMILAR????#don't they KNOW like half the staff here are au/dhd i can't possibly be the only one it's driving crazy???
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Leo and April are besties in Off Colors and have regular movie nights. They either watch something new, something old, or sometimes run a generator to find movies they wouldn’t have thought of.
(April pirates a lot of it haha)
(Leo’s hoodie is supposed to say ‘This is my Human Costume’ it’s a hoodie from the shifty thrifting store)
#sibillasart#off colors au#rottmnt#the bg details were tedious but it was fun !#thinking of all the stuff she'd have on her cork board#April's parents know about Leo and Splinter in this AU#so Leo's allowed over whenever#this is partially cause without Donnie the lair is far less luxurious#like it's livable but they don't have nearly as many conveniences#the ones they do have were given to them by Hueso
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I completed that drawing of Chris and Wesker during their S.T.A.R.S. days as MLP ponies.
It’s about as detailed as I’ll make it, I can’t seem to actually focus on finishing anything past this point but I’ve got other drawings completed/in progress for this “AU”.
#RE+MLP#resident evil#mlp: friendship is magic#resident evil au#mlp au#albert wesker#chris redfield#sleepyhead draws#trying to fit their uniforms onto ponies was fun.#the sunglasses were a challenge to have make sense.#the cork board is just some random things like messages from the other STARS members.
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Oh yeah, it's finally coming together
#ramblings of a crackhead#guided hands au#lncgtv#luz noceda's comprehensive guide to vigilantism#the crazy lady cork board is FINALLY HAPPENING
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For Wukongs peaches and plums art is the picture under the cork board of Macaque hiding his face? I’m guessing it’s Wukongs cork board in his house or something.
You're half right! Macaque is hiding his face, but the two live together instead of it solely being Wukong's house ^
#the picture was 100% hung up by Wukong though#Mac hates having pictures of himself around the house but had to compromise on that one#on the cork board you can see a little chores list with the 'W' and 'M' initials <3#lmk#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#shadowpeach#lmk au#peaches and plums au
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—and they were roommates
part 1
masterlist
hockey!ellie hockey!vi hockey!abby x figureskater! reader
college au! fluff and humor! (for now heh)
synopsis: you were just trying to find a new roommate. how bad could it be if you lived with the university’s most popular hockey trio notorious for breaking score boards and breaking beds (n backs) too?
warning: they’re fuckin dumb asses who wont stop bickering. lots of [friendly] insults. bigbrother!jesse x reader as well, bestfriend!dina x reader too. oh, shirtless vi. this is completely self indulgent :p this is unedited
a/n: THIS IS MY FIRST WORK BACK ON TUMBLR AFTER THREE YEARS PLEASE BE NICE!! anyway, i cannot shake this trio out of my fantasies, so here ya go ya (fellow) filthy animals. merry xmas
———
“Okay well what the fuck do we do now?”
“Don’t you think we’re tryna figure that out you pink dumbfuck?”
“Oh man well sue me for fuckin’ caring—“
“Enough of you both you fucking numbskulls.”
The trio was sitting in their living room, the faint sound of the hockey sports broadcast in the background of their bickering. The brunette, the blonde, and the dyed pinkette have been going at it for an hour now. Abby, the buff blonde in a long sleeve herschel, stood up with her arms crossed and paced around the living room.
“We’ll find a new roommate who’ll cover the rent. Another hockey player so it’d be easier for all of us since they’d be familiar with our lifestyle." The hockey captain said; her judgement was always logical and well thought-out. Abby looked at her other two roommates, who also happen to be her best friends, her dumbass best friends as she liked to call them, as they both slowly nodded.
Their former roommate, Jordan, made the executive decision to move out without a warning. She claimed that it was a personal emergency, and she had to move to a new place right away. It was bullshit. Jordan moved out to move in with another group of friends, and left the three of them in a dilemma for how they were gonna cover the hefty rent.
“So we just ask around from the team?” Ellie, the brunette in her usual hoodie asked, kicking her slippered-feet up on the coffee table. “Who else needs a place? Rowan? Quinn?” she added.
“Rowan moved in with her best friend and Quinn already has a roommate, she dorms.” Violet, or Vi as she goes by said. Her full back tattoo was on display due to her sports bra exposing it, small segments of pink dye were stained on the white fabric.
“And how exactly do you know this?” Abby asked, an eyebrow quirked up with a small smirk creeping up on her lips as she knew what Vi’s answer was gonna be. Vi did nothing but shrug and smile.
“You fucking animal!” Ellie barked out a laugh and threw one of the pillows from the couch, aiming square for Vi’s face. Vi caught the pillow before it could smack her, throwing it back to Ellie.
“Watch the face you twat. Plus, it was one time and I was drunk when I was with both of them.” Vi said, as if it was the norm for her.
Abby’s eyes widened “Both? Vi did you hit at the same time—“
“No! Hey, I like to sleep around okay but damn I’m not a fuckin machine.” The pink haired girl defended herself, her arms flying up in innocence, but the smile on her face failed to be on her side.
“Okay whatever you sex freak— here’s what I’m gonna do.” Abby said, walking back to sit on the couch. “I’ll make a flyer for new roommates and put it on the news cork in the locker room. I’ll put my email there and tell ‘em to contact me if they’re interested.”
“Will that work? I mean who the fuck’ll see that?” Ellie asked, her face contorting to an expression of disagreement.
“Do you asshats have a better idea?” Abby deadpans, clearly tired and irritated from the whole situation.
“I’m cool with it.” Vi said, laying down completely on the couch and watching the game on the screen.
Abby looks at Ellie, and raises her brows. “Okay, shit, fine. How will we cover rent for this month though?” Ellie asks, her arms crossing over her chest.
“I’ll ask my dad.” Abby said, taking her phone out to shoot her world-class neurosurgeon father a quick text to send her some money for rent.
Ellie and Vi snickered. “Daddy’s little girl” they sang in the most annoying, ear piercing, voice as Abby was typing.
“Fine. Be homeless and broke. I’m moving out too.”
“NO WAIT—“
———
Ow. Ow. Fuck. Ouch. Fuckin— Son of a bitch—
Were the only words flowing through your head as you walked, no— limped— to the locker room. Practice with Coach Medarda had been excruciatingly long and painful the past few weeks, her demanding voice was still reverberating through your skull. Your head was pounding. Your feet were pounding. Your legs were numb, and not in a good way either. You made it to the locker room, and basically slumped on the bench. As you lay there replaying your whole routine for the billionth time in your head, footsteps were coming down from the hallway entrance.
“She beat you black and blue huh?” A pretty girl with black hair in a bun asked, leaning against the locker.
“Dina. I can’t feel my fucking legs. My ass too.” You said to your best friend, as she laughed and sat by your head.
“Up.” she said, patting the top of your head, as you lifted it up and laid on her thigh. “You did good. I was watching. Your triple axel was hella good— hey are these my leggings?” She asked, looking at your sprawled out legs.
“I— no.” you lied through your teeth. “Okay yes but listen! You were the one who moved out of our dorm and moved in with my fucking brother—“
“You mean my boyfriend? Jesse? Who also happens to be your brother?” she laughs, stroking your head.
“What-thefuck-ever. You both better be locked the fuck in or I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you both for leaving me alone in the dorms.” you said as you crossed your arms, a fake scowl on your face.
“We are locked the fuck in. And speaking of fucking— he gives the best hea—“
“NO! D, shut the fuck up that’s my BROTHER!” you plugged your ears in and shut your eyes tightly, trying to stop your overactive mind from imagining what Dina could have possibly been referring to.
Dina laughs loudly, prying your arms away from your ears. “I’m messing with you!…sorta…anyway, he’s actually worried as fuck about you. He’s been asking me to help him find you better living arrangements. He doesn’t trust your dorm building. What a protective brother.”
“Believe me, I know. He calls me every time I have to walk alone at night back to that fuckass dorm. He’s hellbent on keeping me safe, since, y’know…” you trail off
“I do babe, I do.” Dina looks around the locker room, her eyes aimlessly wandering, until her brown eyes meet a neon green paper plastered on the middle of the cork board.
LOOKING FOR NEW ROOMMATES!
HOCKEY PLAYER IS A REQUIREMENT!!
CONTACT [email protected] NOW IF INTERESTED
“Hey babes?” Dina asked, her eyes not leaving the flyer. You hum in response.
“Would it be crazy if you do that?” She points to the flyer on the cork board.
You sit up, legs spread on either side of the bench as you squint to look at the paper. You turned to Dina, an eyebrow cocked up.
“Dina, do I look like a hockey player to you?” you scoff, as you get up to open your locker to get your duffle bag.
“No, you look like Miss Perfect on ice.” The familiar nickname made you smile. It was given to you by your brother to poke fun at you, but ended up being all too accurate. You were always on the top of your classes, and now currently doing one of the hardest honor majors in your university. You have a perfect 4.0 GPA, you’re in multiple orgs, on the dean's list, and not to mention, an extremely talented figure skater for the university. “..But since you are so perfect, you’ll be able to get a slot on their list!” Dina said, acting like it was the best idea ever.
“Dina, no. I do not wanna room with some fuckass stinky hockey players who probably have their place infested with sexually transmitted diseases.” You retort, slinging your bag on.
“Come on! Just try. Anderson right? Isn’t she the hockey captain? She’s rich as fuck babe, her place probably isn’t shitty. She lives with Ellie, you remember her?” She says while getting up.
“Ellie? You mean the one that you almost slept with last year—“ She cuts you off
“Yeah okay what the fuck happened to never bringing that up again” she grits through her teeth. “and yeah, her. Listen, she’s really cool. She’s actually super nice too, just give it a try!”
You scoffed and grimaced at the flyer. “No.”
Dina sighed and rolled her eyes. “Shoulda called you Miss Hardheaded. Oh! I have a date with your brother.” She smiled widely and headed out. “See ya later stink” she bid her goodbyes and gingerly walked off.
You were now left alone in the locker room, only having 10 minutes left before the herd of the women’s hockey team takes over the rink.
The flyer was staring at you as if it had eyes that were permanently glued to your body.
LOOKING FOR NEW ROOMMATES!
You read. You glared at the flyer as if it would give you an answer.
CONTACT [email protected] NOW IF INTERESTED
Something about it irritated you. Now that Dina had it implanted in your head, you couldn’t shake it off.
“Fuckin- ugh.” you cursed under your breath and pulled
out your phone.
Sent: 12:30 PM
From: [email protected]
Subject: Roommate Inquiry
Good Afternoon,
I saw on the locker room’s cork board that you were looking for roommates? I wanted to ask if that offer was still standing?
Dear God. What in the fuck were you getting into?
———
Sent: 2:00 PM
From: [email protected]
Re: Roommate Intrest
Hey (name)! Thank you for your interest! The offer still remains on the table :) If it is possible for you, can we meet tomorrow at the house @ 2:00? We can discuss all the details there.
Address: 1234 North Park St.
“TOLD YOU IT’D FUCKIN’ WORK!”
Abby’s voice rings around the house as storms in from the front door. Vi was passed out on the couch (shirtless and only in her boxers) and groaned when Abby screamed. Ellie was playing on the console while sitting on the floor.
“What fuckin work you loud ass pig?” she asked half assed, her eyes not leaving the screen.
“The roommate flyer— it worked.” Abby placed her keys and down on the counter and sat on the other couch. “Here— look at the email.” she held her phone out to Ellie, obstructing her view of the COD round (that she was gonna win) on the tv screen.
“Abby fuckin’ MOVE— oh you fucking asshole.” She cursed, as her character died after getting shot.
“You suck ass.” Vi sleepily laughed while still half asleep, her head turning toward the screen. She was laying on her stomach with a blanket thrown over her figure, stretching and yawing.
“We got a roommate yet or no?”
“Yeah, look.” Abby pointed the phone towards Vi, the email from the potential roommate hurting her eyes due to Abby’s brightness being all the way up.
“Christ, is the roommate Jesus himself? Why is this email giving let there be light— lower your brightness down.” Vi groaned and rubbed her eyes. Ellie laughed at her comment, and put the controller down and faced her roommate.
“She seems like a prissy bitch not gonna lie” Ellie shrugged and sipped on the can of Monster next to her. Vi made grabby hands towards it and Ellie handed it to her.
“What makes you say that?” Vi asked, and took a swing of the drink.
“Dunno. She texts like one”
“That’s because it’s a fucking email you dog.” Abby scowled at Ellie. “She’s coming by tomorrow by the way, at 2.”
“You gave her our address already?!” Vi’s gruff voice ripped through the air. “She could be a fucking creep for all we know!” she sat up, her shirtless figure not phasing the other two.
“Oh shut the fuck up. It’ll be fine.” Abby dismisses
“Vi, my Monster can you give—“
“No! she could be a literal creep!” Vi argued
“You literally sleep around so much and you don’t bat a fuckin eye on the girls that you hook up with!” Abby argued back
“Vi. My Monster—“
“That’s different Abs! I don’t stay at their places long term—“
“VIOLET MY FUCKING MONSTER!” Ellie raised her voice, sick of the bickering between her best friends.
The blonde and the shirtless pink looked at Ellie blankly. Vi handed the Monster back to Ellie, her eyes slightly wide.
“Thank you asshole. And fuckin’ relax. I think I actually know the chick.” Ellie said, sipping on the drink.
“Wait what? You do?” Abby shifted on the couch, her interest piqued.
“Yeah, I think she’s best friends with Dina. Dunno her personally. Still think she might be a prissy bitch.” Ellie said, starting another round of COD.
“Dina? The hot one with black hair?” Vi asked, lying back down.
“Yeah. She told me that her best friend is interested in a new place last night during our Bio lecture since I told her about the whole situation with Jordan.” Ellie said, her words blank as her mind was focused on the new game.
“Did she say anything else about her?” Abby asked, leaning back on the couch.
“Nah. Just that.” Ellie replied, shortly cursing to herself after bullets were coming towards her character’s way.
“Pfft. Watch her be a fuckin’ werido. Ugly one too. If she is, and my argument of sending her our address was a mistake, you each owe me fifty bucks.” she snickered and watched Ellie play.
Ugly huh? Oh, little did they know…
You were quite the fuckin’ opposite.
———
What the fuck does one wear to meet roommates?
A hoodie, PJs, a dress? In your case, none of the above. Practice with Coach Medarda was moved later, which made your practice end at 1:45 PM (you might have groan-yelled ‘FUCK’ so loud in your dorm, they might’ve kicked you out before you could move out) In any other case, a later practice would have been ideal since you have time to sleep in or get a productive morning done, but instead you have to meet your potential roommates in your training attire. You looked at yourself in the mirror, cursing yourself eternally as you realized what you got yourself into.
Your figure-hugging black flare leggings paired with the infamous baby pink Lululemon define jacket made you look at yourself in dread.
“You literally look so hot.” Dina’s voice was muffled through your phone speakers, as it was propped up against the locker room sink.
“Dina, they’re gonna see that I am, in fact, not a hockey player and reject me immediately.” you groaned. “Maybe I should just cancel?”
“No, cmon. Just try it. You’re meeting them soon after your practice right?”
“Yeah, fifteen fucking minutes after it ends— Oh I gotta go, Medarda’s gonna cut my legs off if I’m late”
With that, you leave for a long, grueling practice with your too-detail oriented coach.
How bad could practice be today?
Bad. It was bad.
You, however, had no time to complain. After Coach Medarda dismissed you, you rushed to your car and drove to the address on the email.
You don’t know why, but your heart was racing. Nerves were racing across your whole body, and you have no idea why. You weren’t usually like this, you were confident. You’d ace your debate speeches and presentations, hell, you easily made friends with the grumpy old cashier at the local grocery store named Dan. He calls you sweetheart for fuck’s sake. You shouldn’t be nervous…
right…?
You pull over to the driveway of the house. It was a rough ten minutes away from campus, and admittedly, the drive there was beautiful. Jackson always looked so beautiful during this time of year, lights decorating the trees and ornaments hanging from random branches. It’s like Christmas threw up.
The house was gorgeous, humble enough to fit a few college students but grand enough to make heads turn. You take a deep breath and leave your car, walking past the driveway and to the front door.
Ding-dong, the bell rang through.
“Coming!” you heard a muffled voice call on the other side.
A minute later, a pink haired girl with a white wife pleaser beater answered the door with a toothbrush hanging from her mouth.
“Canf I helpf you- oh, damn” the pink haired girl muffled out a greeting and suddenly paused, as she looked at you up and down with her blue eyes, her veiny hands supporting her weight by leaning on the door frame. You couldn’t help buy look at how her biceps bulged out. Goddamn.
“Hey, I’m (name), I was told to come here to discuss details of being a potential roommate?” You said so sweetly that it was intoxicating, the pink haired girl swore she felt electric shocks shoot up her spine.
“Oh, aha—“
Her eyes widened at your words, and before she could think, she hurriedly shut the door. You flinch ever so slightly at the sudden slam, and stood there, confused as fuck. You heard the heavy patter of feet running, and you swore you heard a faint scream. You couldn’t make up the words entirely but it sounded a lot like:
“GUYS SHES HERE AND GOD HELP ME SHE’S SO FUCKING PRETTY”
You laugh to yourself, not in humor, but in disbelief.
What the fuck did I get myself into?
a/n: i need to bite all of their biceps. anyway, do i continue this🙈??
#vi x reader#ellie willams x reader#ellie x reader#abby x reader#abby anderson x reader#i need them all#ohmygodtheywereroomates?
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Batman has not seen this many cork boards and string since the time he “investigated” Bernard Dowds house
You know what would be funny?
If the downfall of the GIW and other anti-Ecto acts and organizations? Came about because of some long dead scholars pathological need to Be Right.
How? Would this work, you may ask? Oh, easily!
WIKIPEDIA.
Somebody is WRONG about FACTS. And that can not stand! You see, they were told... well, more OVERHEARD then anything else (during their annual and ongoing debate about EVERYTHING) from that...? Techmus? Fellow? Whomever he was.
They HEARD, there has been a MARVELOUS advancement in the realm of the Living! A collective knowledge repository! Imagine the possibilities! They must see it at ONCE!
So they harrass Danny about it. Obviously.
He finally caves. And, to prevent them going Wrath Of The Old Academic or something, shows them JUST technical papers sites and Wikipedia etc. That should fix things, right? They should be HAPPY, now, RIGHT?
WRONG.
These so called "Facts" are INCORRECT! I was THERE! We did not do THAT! Slander! Outrage! I shall BURN THEIR HOUSE DOW-!
Ooooookay, hold up! OR? We could EDIT the page? See that button? Push that.
They blink. Push up their spectacles. Squint at the screens more closely. Ah. So there IS! Their mistake! How silly, quite embassies. Now then... *furiously begins typing*
And? You obviously can just? Make random edits. Even if you seem to be correct. ESPECIALLY with out any sources. And no one will accept "I was There" as a source. We are discussing Pompeii. And a spcertain historically significant volcanic incident. NO YOU WERE NOT.
Yet? No matter HOW had the moderators try? They for some reason can not BLOCK this deluge of edits. It's unending. And not even a united front. As they edit each other's edits.
AND on top of THAT? Random papers are showing up in official journals. Ones that were NOT put there by the journal's staff. About alchemy or frogs or rebuttals to people no one has even HEARD off.
Obviously, it's? Kind of a Big Thing in the scientific and academic community. Everyone is talking about it and confused. Every Hero with a scientific job. Oracle, with her job at a LIBRARY. Anyone connected to them they ask to look into this. It keeps spreading.
Especially when the hackers FAIL to stop it.
Imagine Danny's horror. Just... IMAGINE it. He goes to bed. The old fogies content to quietly argue and merrily type away, certain he's distracted them. Harmless he thinks. Contained, he believes.
They blow up the internet. Bring the JUSTICE LEAGUE to his city.
He has to explain himself to BATMAN.
He's gonna cry. Stop laughing Tucker, this is absolutely a threat. He is GOING to cry on you. (T^T )
@ailithnight @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @nerdpoe
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp prompt#dc x dp#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#ghost wiki au#bruce wayne#bernard dowd#like Batman wasn’t going to investigate Tim’s civilian boyfriend#he even found Bernard’s Tim=/=? Red Robin cork board#it was then that he knew Bernard was going to be his son in law and to just accept it#now Bernard has a room at the mansion and doesn’t even know it#Bernard was the one who brought this to Tim’s attention#I love using Bernard as a plot device
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"i always get the job done."
A 'PERKS OF BEING A HOUSEHUSBAND' DRABBLE.
pairing: min yoongi x reader
plot: the (mis)adventures of retired gangster min yoongi as he leaves behind the life of the mafia and navigates the way of the househusband.
warnings: the way of the househusband au, marriage au, crack, domesticity, yoongi being unironically romantic
masterlist + disclaimers.
note: tysm for all the love in the first drabble! here's more of househubby!yoongi & his badass wife,, as always, lemme know ur thoughts :>
You're stepping off the bus, having clocked out of work earlier than usual, when you see your husband strolling along the sidewalk with his signature apron on and a mesh tote bag on his shoulder.
"Yoonie!" you call out to him.
Your heels clack against the pavement as you run towards him. The bits of impact hurt your soles but you forget all about the pain when Yoongi kisses you on the forehead as soon as you reach him.
"You're early," he remarks, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bicep before walking the two of you to the direction he was going.
"Boss let us leave early," you explain, oblivious to the looks that other passersby are giving you and your husband.
("Is he a gangster?"
"He looks so scary!"
"What is he doing with that woman?"
"Is he kidnapping her?!")
It's when Yoongi leads you to a secluded alley that you realize you're not heading towards your home.
"Uh, Yoonie? Where are we going?"
Your husband smiles radically.
"You'll see."
He leads you through a bunch of twists and corners before finally arriving at an equally secluded shop. The dim lighting does nothing to deter him as he opens the squeaky door and leads you both inside.
"Ah, Yoongi," a deep rumble echoes as soon as you walk in. "You're back."
"Of course," your husband responds. "I did everything you told me to do."
Huh?
"Did you, now?" the voice taunts, and you can finally match a face to the voice when he steps into the light. "Are you sure you did everything?"
"I always get the job done. You know me, Seokjin."
The job?
The man called Seokjin sneers before nodding and heading to his shop's backroom, leaving you and your husband alone.
"Yoonie?" you call his name. "What's going on?"
"A gamble, darling," he tells you. "I'm making a gamble."
Your eyes widen. "What?! Are you—"
"Yoongi, are you ready?"
Seokjin emerges from the backroom with a big cork board in tow. The board is brightly decorated, divided into three sections each showing different...
"...prizes?" you think out loud. "Yoonie, what is all this?"
"A stamp scavenger hunt, darling," your husband explains in a no-nonsense tone as Seokjin hands him a dart. "I've collected ten stamps from ten different stores like Seokjin told me to."
Oh. Oh.
"Why didn't you just say so?" you laugh, nerves vanishing as you take a good look at the cork board. "Well, what's the prize?"
"Third place gets a cute plushie," Seokjin gives you the rundown. "Second place gets a self-cleaning robot vaccuum—"
("That's what I was hoping to get.")
"—and first place gets an all-expense paid trip for two to Jeju."
("Yoonie, forget the vaccuum. Get this!")
And so the gamble begins.
The three of you wait with bated breaths as Yoongi positions himself. His eyes are closed and he blows air on the blunt end of the dart as if it'll help. Opening his eyes, he takes a deep breath, swings his arm back lightly, then throws the dart.
It lands on third place.
"Oooooh! It looks so cute!" you squeal, taking the cute plushie from Seokjin and hugging it to your chest. "It looks like Holly!"
Your happy giggles flood the shop.
"Well, Yoongi," Seokjin tuts. "Sorry but..." He smirks. "Looks like you lost."
Your husband looks at you nuzzling the plushie in delight.
"You fool," Yoongi says, "haven't you realized by now?" Now he's the one smirking. "The true prize is seeing my beautiful wife's smile—"
"Yoonie! Stop embarrassing me!"
COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
#bts x reader#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x reader#agust d x reader#suga x reader#bts suga x reader#bts fic#min yoongi fic#yoongi fic#bts suga fic#bts imagines#min yoongi imagines#yoongi imagines#bts suga imagines#suga fic#suga imagines#bts x you#min yoongi x you#yoongi x you#bts suga x you#agust d fic#agust d imagines#agust d x you#bts x y/n#min yoongi x y/n#yoongi x y/n#suga x y/n#bts suga x y/n#cat.writes
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Don't Say I Didn't Warn You | Joel Miller
The Checklist - Overstimulation
Chapter Summary | Another day, another thing to tick off your list. This time, Joel issues a challenge, which of of you will break first? Him, or you at the mercy of his hands and mouth?
Chapter Warnings | Again and as usual, this is porn without much plot, oral sex (f), fingering, sex toys, squirting, unprotected PiV sex, overstimulation (clearly), crying after sex, dirty talking, pet names (baby), aftercare, no outbreak au, no use of y/n.
Word Count | 4.1K
Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader
Authors Note | We are officially halfway through the checklist - this one was a bit of a challenge, but I hope you love it as much as I do. If you do enjoy this, reblogs and comments are always appreciated, and if you'd like to support me further, you can donate to my Ko-Fi.
A reminder that whilst this is part of a wider series, this can be read as a standalone if you wish.
Beautiful divider by @saradika
I no longer have a taglist, to keep up to date with my work, please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs and turn on notifications.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi.
“How many times d’ya think I could make you come before you couldn’t take it anymore?”
The question makes you splutter out your morning coffee, coughing a little to clear your throat.
“Joel, it's nine in the morning, can you let me at least drink some caffeine first?”
He’s laughing, in that deep way, straight from his chest that makes your heart swell, leaning up against his kitchen counter with his own coffee mug moving to his lips.
“Just curious, is all.” He smiles, head tilting to the little cork board on the kitchen wall, where he’s pinned the checklist.
“How many times do you think you can make me come before you get bored and want to fuck me?” You counter with a shrug.
He raises an eyebrow as he sips loudly from him mug, “You’ll be beggin’ me to stop before I break, baby, and you know it.”
He’s not wrong. You know what you’re like, even if you like to think you can talk a big game. Joel has never been anything other than focused on your pleasure, and normally, he can give you two or three, with some breaks in between, before you’re trying to crawl away from him, so you know he’s right.
“Guess we’ll just have to find out then, won’t we?”
It’s late and you’re perched in bed, book resting on your knees, when Joel comes in from the bathroom. He pulls his t-shirt over his head, his back to you so you can admire the way his back muscles ripple as he moves. You turn your eyes back to the pages in front of you before he can catch you watching him. He lets out a little groan when he gets into bed, shuffling a little under the sheets to get himself comfortable.
You’re turning the page when you feel his wide palm slip over your abdomen over the sheer fabric of the nightdress you’re wearing, his body turning to rest on his side. He leans up, pressing his lips just behind your ear, his thumb running softly over the fabric, hitching the material a little further up your thighs as he goes.
“Can I help you?” You murmur, thumb folding the corner of your page so you can shut the book and put it on your nightstand.
“You wear this on purpose?” He asks, hand moving from your tummy to play with the thin spaghetti straps resting on your shoulder, “You know this little thing drives me wild.”
In all honesty, it had been the first thing you’d pulled from your drawer after your shower, but he didn’t need to know that, “Maybe I did.” You speak softly, moving your head to look at him, his own eyes fixated on his hand moving from the strap, down the neckline, fingers tracing softly over your skin.
Joel’s mouth moves softly from your ear, pressing feather-light kisses across the skin of your jaw and across the expanse of your throat, “I think we should challenge you tonight, baby.”
His hand moves down the front of your nightdress, cupping one of your tits in his palm as he thumbs over your nipple through the material. The soft and gentle movements of his hand makes your breath catch in your throat and an ache settle between your thighs. You can feel him pressing his hips into your side, already half-hard in his boxers, the scruff on his face scratching deliciously over the soft skin of your jaw.
“I’m going to make you come so many times you won’t even know your own name, baby.”
His promise makes you gasp, spoken right into the shell of your ear, as he trails his hand down, further down your body, until his hand is resting on the inside of your thigh, gently prising your legs open under the sheets. Joel shuffles down under the sheets a little, leant up on one elbow, casual as anything, when he looks up at you, fingers moving slowly across the skin of your thighs until they dip under the hem of your nightdress.
Joel is cupping your sex in his palm, your body sinking further down into the bed, his body pressed flushed to your side as he quickly brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking his middle finger into his mouth to wet it, before he’s putting his hand back between your thighs, that slick finger now moving slowly over your clit.
His touch is so light that you can barely feel it, but it’s there, slow, languid circles moving over you. You know now that you’re in this for the long haul, Joel’s patience is going to win out time and time again tonight. He presses his finger just a touch harder to your clit as he continues his circles, your hips bucking up into his hand at the added pressure, a whine falling from your mouth as his own moves back to your ear.
“I want you to keep count,” He breathes out, goosebumps rising across your skin, “Whenever you come, you keep count, okay?”
“I s-still think y-you’re going to b-break first.”
Your voice comes out choked and pathetic as his finger slips from your clit to your entrance to gather the slick he’s caused, dragging it back up to use to circle your clit once more.
“I think you’re wrong, baby,” He coos into your ear, hot breath skittering across your skin, “Look how close you are already.”
It’s infuriating because he’s right. You’ve spent the whole day working yourself up about the conversation this morning, dreaming of all the different ways he’s going to take you apart to prove his point. His finger is speeding up between your legs, adding more pressure as you arch your back up off the bed, pushing yourself further into his hand. Joel’s lips are pressing against your ear, the skin behind it, wherever he can put it as your body starts to shake under his touch.
Thighs trembling, pleasure blooming across your lower abdomen as the coil starts to tighten. It pulls tighter and tighter until it’s teetering on the edge of snapping.
“Please don’t stop,” You whine, “Right there, Joel, oh my god, right there, please.”
It snaps all at once, washing over every inch of your body as your hands grip onto his arm, fingernails digging into his skin, his name dropping from your mouth every few seconds whilst that perfect hand of his works you through the shaking of your body as you start to come down.
You’re vaguely aware of him pulling his hand from between your thighs and the duvet being torn from your body as he moves to settle himself between your thighs, giving you barely any time to register what’s happening before he tongue is licking, warm and wet, up the length of your pussy.
He uses his thumbs to spread you open to him, baring your glistening cunt to his mouth, tip of his tongue flicking gently against your clit. You’ve barely recovered from the first orgasm, his mouth working just like he knows you like it. He sucks your clit into his mouth, rolling his tongue over it, before letting it go with a lewd smack. It’s already a little too much for you. You can already feel the tightening of the coil again. It’s always easier for you to come the second time, but it never happens this quickly.
Joel pulls off you just enough to speak, “Come on, baby, come on.” He coaxes, tongue working flat across your clit, the sound of him literally slurping at your pussy the only thing you can focus on.
This one falls over you slowly, gradually, legs shaking around his shoulders, arching into him, fingers curling into his hair to hold him where he is as that feeling blooms and prickles across your skin.
“Fucking hell, Joel.” You manage to breathe out, chest heaving.
“How many?” He asks, mouth still so close to your cunt.
“T-two.”
“Too much?” He’s smirking when you look down at him between your legs.
“Not a chance, Miller.”
“Good girl.”
And then not only his mouth back over your clit, sucking it into his mouth, but two of his fingers are slipping inside you at the same time. As you cry out, you realise how empty you’d felt before, walls of your cunt clenching around nothing as he brought you to the edge and over it. You’re whining, trying to scrabble away a little, but Joel’s free hand comes to splay across your lower tummy, pressing you down into the mattress, keeping you still as his fingers curl up into you, pressing against that spot inside you as he suckles your clit into his mouth, letting it pop from between his lips, worshipping it with his tongue, before sucking it right back into his mouth again.
The clue is in the name, but it’s all so overwhelming, overstimulating. The stretch of his shoulders widening your legs, the way his mouth is just on the right side of pleasure, the short clip of pain that comes with being worked too much not yet there, and when you tip your head forward, look down over the expanse of his back, you can see his hips moving, it’s subtle, but it’s there, Joel, rutting himself into the mattress as he works you toward the edge again.
“Joel,” You whimper out, fingers still tangled in his hair, “Please, please don’t stop.”
And he doesn’t. He wouldn’t dare. Not when you’re so close, not when he knows it, that telltale clenching of you around his fingers, your head thrown back, mouth open, panting as you start to move your hips, meeting the upwards movements of his fingers.
You’re gritting your teeth, pulling hard on his hair as your entire body convulses the third time. You’re jerking in a way you’re not used to, just like you aren’t used to being made to come this many times in quick succession. It’s overwhelming, you can’t even bring yourself to moan, your mouth just dropped open wide, silently crying out into the air of the room as Joel finally drags his fingers and mouth from your cunt.
You bring an arm up, covering your face, sucking in heavy breaths as you feel his body moving, thinking smugly to yourself that you might have won this time, that he’s so desperate to bury himself inside you that he’s going to give up and do just that. You can feel him settle over your body, only for a moment, the bulge in his underwear brushing against your sensitive cunt. You haven’t won though because there’s the telltale sound of your bedside table opening. You drag your arm from over your eyes, watching as he reaches in, dragging out the small wand you keep in there.
He’s grinning at you, pushing himself to rest on his knees, bringing the vibrator to rest against your pussy, soaking wet and aching, but he doesn’t switch it on, mercifully.
“Are you going to give up yet?” He asks, eyebrow arched.
It would be so easy to say yes, to yield to him, to finally feel him heavy and throbbing inside you, but there’s the element of pride to it that you have to think about. Forgetting about the fire you feel settling across every inch of skin, the way there is sweat pooling across every inch of your body, and the way that even the gentle press of the silicon against the swollen folds of your pussy is proving a little difficult.
“N-no?” It comes out as a question more than anything, so you clear your throat, trying again, “No.”
He lets out a snort of breath from his nose, like he knows he’s pushing you, right to your limits and you both know it, but you’ve always been stubborn. It’s one of the reasons he loves you so much. But he’s not going to stop, not until you’re begging for it. So he presses the button, thankfully on the lowest setting, but it still causes you to jolt, to cry out in surprise as the vibrating pulses through you, centred right on your clit that is screaming at you for a break, screaming at you to stop, for him to stop.
“T-too much.”
“What’s that, baby?” He asks, smirk across his lips as he presses the button again, shifting it up a setting.
“Ohmygod,” You squeal, body thrashing about on the bed, but as usual, Joel has a hand pressed on your lower tummy, keeping you in place, “Don’t stop.”
You can’t believe it’s coming out of your mouth, but you’re teetering just on the right side of pleasure mixed with pain. Your hips are chasing the soft vibrations pulsing over your clit, revelling in the weight of Joel’s palm pressing onto your lower tummy. Your teeth are digging so hard into your bottom lip that you can taste blood, but you can feel it, that hot furl of pleasure, and you’re chasing it, running towards it, but finding it always just out of reach, no matter how much you hold your breath, pinch your eyes shut and focus on finding it.
“Faster.”
“What’s that?” Joel teases, leaning forward, his body over yours, lips pressed to your damp forehand, “Say it louder for me.”
“Faster!” You shriek, “God damn it Joel, faster.”
His fingers presses the button once more, speeding up the pulsing against your pussy, and it’s all over. You’re entire body shakes in anticipation, the actual collapse into pleasure following just behind. You can feel your cunt clenching around nothing, fluttering desperately, almost making you open your mouth to beg him to fuck you, but all that comes out when you do open your mouth is a pathetic whine, a murmur of his name over and over again, until the vibrator is pulled from your body, turned off and discarded to the side.
Joel collapses his body over yours, pressing his weight into you as he drags your arms up over your head, his fingers entwined with yours as he kisses across your face, kissing away the tears that are falling from the corners of your eyes, softly pressing his lips to the tip of your nose until he reaches your mouth, pressing his mouth to yours, once, twice, three times.
You can feel him moving his hips into your own, his cock hard and heavy behind the material of his underwear as it brushing against your swollen folds, catch ever-so-slightly on your clit as he moves. It makes you gasp against his mouth, makes you shift your hips against him.
“I know you want it baby,” He whispers against your mouth, “You want my cock, don’t you?”
His voice sounds just as desperate as the whines and whimpers coming from your mouth, his hips pressing against you, cock dragging against the wet of your pussy, finding just an ounce of friction as he presses his mouth to yours again.
“I know you want it,” He teases, “All you gotta do is say the words baby, say the words and I’ll give it to you.”
Now you’re at a crossroads. You could stand your ground, tell him to carry on, dare him to take it as far as his patience will let him, but you know you’ll be here all night if that’s the case, you’ve never met someone with the patience of Joel Miller before. Given half the chance he’d spend all night between your thighs, using his mouth or fingers to bring you over the edge until your bones were jelly and you didn’t know whether it was pleasure or pain you could feel. Or, you could tell him to do it, beg him to fuck you, get what you really want, what you always want, which is him buried impossibly deep inside you, filling you up with his cum, whispering into your ear what a good girl you are for him, and lose this self-imposed contest you’ve given yourself to outlast him.
Judging by the way that you feel like you might scream if the bulge of his cock brushes against you again, you opt to swallow your pride.
“Please,” You beg, “Please Joel, I want you inside me.”
“Good girl.”
He’s pulling back from you, pushing his boxers down just enough to free his cock, before the entire weight of him is pressing against you and he’s buried inside your cunt to the hilt. The tip of his cock is pressed so deep inside you, but he’s still, his hands squeezing your own where he’s gone back to entwining your fingers together above your head.
God, he’s so overwhelming like this. Every sense is just Joel, you can smell him, his body is under your touch, you can hear him panting into your ear as he starts sliding himself in and out of you, you can taste his mouth when he opens it against yours. Everything right now is Joel and pleasure & pain all mixed into one.
“You okay?” He asks, nose nuzzling against your ear, his thrusts shallow, so he’s slowly punching that spot deep inside you.
You squeeze his hands, in your own, leaning the side of your head into his face, so unbearably hot underneath him, but so unbearably needy too. You need more, you need him to fuck you properly.
“More,” You mumble, lifting your hips into his as he pushes back into you, “Please baby, harder.”
“You think you can take it?” He asks quietly into your ear.
“Don’t care, just want you.”
Joel’s hands let go of yours, pushing himself onto his palms, resting either side of your head. He pulls his cock all the way out of you, tip of his cock resting just inside you, then he snaps his hips back into yours, the force shifting your body up the bed a little, a cry pulled from your throat as he does the same, over and over again. Your eyes rolling back into your skull, fingers gripping at his sides, slipping round to rest against his ass, pulling him into you even more.
When you look at his face, he looks just a wrecked as you feel, sweat pooling in the dips of his collarbones, falling from the ends of the curls at the back of his neck. He hooks the backs of your knees around his arms, pushes you forward, pressing you even further into the mattress as he really pounds into you, cock stretching you so perfectly, as your name falls from his lips like a string of hail Mary’s.
“One more,” He pants out above you, “Put your hand on yourself and give yourself one more.”
“I can’t,” You cry out, feeling completely boneless and at his mercy, unable to move unless he’s manipulating your limbs, “Can’t Joel.”
“Yeah you can, baby,” He speaks, “Can feel you, gettin’ all tight around me, you can give me one more,” Then he leans forward, as much as he can with your legs hooked around his arms, pressing his mouth to the skin of your skin, “Just for me baby, one more, just for me.”
Your arm is heavy when you let it fall between the two of you. You run a gentle finger over your clit, so impossibly swollen and spent under your touch, the slick he’s pulled from you making it easier to move, but you still don’t think you can, you still think it’s too much.
“Keep goin’ baby,” Joel praises, “Just like that.”
You can feel your walls around him, sucking him in as deep as he can possibly get on each thrust of his hips, fluttering, clenching around him when your finger swipes across your clit, “Such a good fuckin’ girl for me, look at you.”
And he is doing just that, when you meet his eyes, those dark brown orbs, reminiscent of coffee and chocolate, he’s looking right into yours, right into your depths, admiring the way your sweat slicked hair sticks to your forehead, the way your eyes are glassed over, the way your body has folded so perfectly at his hand as you let him take what he wants. He’s looking at you like you’re the only woman in the world. That, mixed with the praise, and the way he’s hitting you just right with his cock as you falling over the edge, screaming his name into the room as you feel yourself gush all over his cock, all over the sheets underneath you.
“Yeah baby, fuck yeah,” His voice is deep, desperate, “Look at what you did,” He drops one of your legs, puts his hand on the back of your head and tilts your neck so you’re watching as his cock spear itself into your cunt, covered in wetness, “Made such a perfect mess for me, didn’t you?”
You can’t talk, you can’t think, you can do nothing but lie there as his hips start to falter, until he’s letting go of your other leg, dragging his cock from your tight heat, furiously fisting himself until he comes across the skin of your tummy, cursing, groaning your name until every single drop of him is mixed with every drop of you.
He collapses onto the bed next to you, led on his back trying to catch your breath, in much the same way as you are, until you start crying. It starts with a wobble of your lip which you try and bite away, then, they fall from your waterline, followed by choked sobs that you can’t keep under control.
“Woah, hey, hey,” Joel is on you in seconds, pressing his warm body to your side, hand on the cheek furthest from him, pulling your face to his, thumb rubbing the tears away as they fall, “What’s wrong?”
You shake your head, trying to calm yourself down, but now his kindness is making it worse.
“Baby, you gotta talk to me,” He urges, “Was I too rough?” You shake your head, “Was it too much?” To that you nod, because it was, too much all at once.
He drags your body further into yours, pulling you into a hug, rocking you back and forth, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispers, lips kissing your cheek, “You know to use your word if its too much.”
You take another deep breath and mumble against his skin, realising he can’t hear you, “I’m just overwhelmed,” You explain, “Was fine at the time, but I’m overwhelmed now.”
The cool air of the room is prickling goosebumps against your skin, causing you to shiver, “Will you be okay here for a minute?” He asks, lips pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
You nod, curling into a ball as he pads from the room, coming back moments later with a wet cloth. He turns you onto your back, uses the cloth to clean the his cum from your skin, then gently brings it down between your legs, letting it rest against your swollen pussy, the warmth soothing you a little as he cleans between your legs too.
You lie there as he puts the used cloth in the wash basket, pulling back the sheets on his side of the bed, dragging you gently over to his side, tucking you in as he rounds the bed, gets in on your side. It takes you a while to realise it’s so he’s led in the wet patch you made.
Joel runs those warm hands up and down your skin, warming you up, helping to dissipate the goosebumps, soft, open-mouth kisses pressed to every part of your skin that he can reach as he soothes you. Your eyes are heavy, you’re tired, warm, and completely spent, but most importantly, as he moves to press his front to your back, his arm over your waist, dragging you as close as you can be, you’re safe.
And the next morning, when you wake, take the pencil to written words of overstimulation on the checklist, you think perhaps that one isn’t quite for you, and that’s completely fine.
#Joel Miller#Joel Miller smut#Joel Miller x reader#Joel Miller x you#Joel Miller x female reader#Joel Miller x f!reader#Joel Miller fic#Joel Miller fanfic#Joel Miller fanfiction#Joel Miller fluff#Joel Miller kink#the last of us#the last of us hbo#tlou#tlou hbo#the last of us smut#tlou smut#the last of us fic#tlou fic#the last of us fanfic#tlou fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#Joel tlou#Joel Miller tlou#Pedro Pascal#Joel Miller Pedro pascal#the checklist
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New day and I don’t hate it anymore whoooo
It’s still not the best thing ever but it is kinda cute?
Different take on the moodboard until I remembered why I don’t like doing these.
I am NOT good at making these things look organized and visually pleasing hdhhdhd and then I waste hours on it, only to go “meh” afterwards.
Just smashing pictures together in nice little squares is so much better for my brain hahah
#meant to look like a scrapbook#or picture on a cork board or wall#kitsune au#moodboard#skz fic#bang chan
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So I wrote this during my lunch hour in a haze of fruit and inspiration. Thank you @kitsur for reading this over for me to check the ending and in general for hearing me go on my crazed cork board rants some days (most days)
This is a sequel to “That’s My Purse” and I really really encourage you to read part one because it sets all of this up. And maybe read this if the bed comment is confusing. Also thank you @nightunite for the original ask that lead to all this.
Here is the Simon & Thimble playlist
Here is the MPS AU masterlist
Content warning; cheating (kind of. It’s more non monogamy I guess and it’s very debatable if it’s even ethical because I really don’t think Simon would explain his arrangement to a stranger), fatphobia, misogyny, “bro language”
Alright, he could admit it. You weren’t the worst person to be married to. Though you were certainly in the running for most annoying. Always had some smart comment to say, acting like it was an Olympic sport you were aiming for gold in. Sometimes Simon just wanted to eat his beans on toast in god damn peace. Was that too much to ask for?
So yeah you seemed to always run your mouth with him, but sometimes you did say things that made logical sense.
He didn’t care about the whole demi-whatever thing you had explained to him, even if it sparked some sort of recognition in the back of his brain. You didn’t want to have sex with him, so he didn’t want to have sex with you, simple enough. And he could appreciate that you didn’t want the entire base to know he was being cuckholded, however willingly. Though he didn’t really care what people around him thought.
But he’d give what he got. The few times he did find someone that held some interest to him, in some after mission bar, he at least made sure there wasn’t a surface level connection to the base, or you. He’d go back to their place and then act like he had just gotten back from the mission when he went home the next morning. It didn’t seem to bother you and he’d figure you’d appreciate the extra night in the bed and not the pull out.
The first time he tried though, Price nearly put him on his ass. Pulling him to the alley outside the pub and shoving him against a wall, demanding to know if Simon was the kind of man to ignore his vows just to get his dick wet. Trying to explain your agreement with Price went phenomenally awful, and the captain wouldn’t look at him different until all three of you sat down and you confirmed that you were indeed okay with it.
And then of course it had to happen all over again with the other two chuckleheads he worked with. By the time you were having your third sit down with Soap you’d just handed him some informational pamphlet you cooked up. Always had to be cheeky you did. He didn’t think they really understood, but as long as they didn’t look at him like he was a scummy bastard he didn’t care.
So every now and again he’d find someone to follow back to theirs, just to blow off some steam, get rid of the twitch that lived under his skin. The sex was okay. Nothing to write home about. It got the job done.
It was what Simon was planning to do tonight. There was already some bird leaning against the bar, giving him the stare as she nibbled on the end of her drink straw. Plump little thing. But before he could get up to start his advance, voices behind him broke out in the loud drunk way young twenty-something men did when they had too much liquid courage.
“Listen man, pussy is pussy even in the dark”
“Yeah but you got some balls to go after Riley’s wife.”
That stopped him, keeping him glued to his seat. What’s this about you? Judging how Soap’s bottle paused at his lips though, Simon wasn’t the only one to hear it.
“Yeah well she found your balls lacking bro.”
There was mocking laughter from the table behind him. At least Simon wasn’t the only one catching casualties from your mouth. He was going to let it go, maybe just see who they were to keep in mind, when the ring leader decided to seal his fate.
“Yeah yeah. Fat cow’s acting all tough now but she’ll be begging for it sooner or later.”
No Simon didn’t notice how his grip tightened around his beer, tight enough that his fingertips turned white.
“Dude you think?”
No one in the vicinity heard how Simon’s chair scrapped violently against the ground as he stood up.
“There’s no way Riley is fucking that. Even with back shots she’s-”
No one at the other table expected Simon Riley to appear out of thin air, heavy hand coming down with a crushing force onto the man stupid enough to slander your name. Pearson. Of course it was. Jackass who thought he was god’s gift to everyone because Daddy had a bit of money and some girls let him stick it in once.
Yes, you had to have the last word all the fucking time. You had too much shit, and he honestly thought you were a little too obsessed with your guinea pigs.
But you always met him head on. Was so unapologetically yourself, laughing so loudly at terrible jokes even he got startled now and again. You respected who he was, how he was. Like hell he was going to let some personification of a left ballsack talk about you like that.
“She’s my wife”
#you never did question why Pearson always runs away when he sees you#you just assume he’s still embarrassed you said his dick was tiny#men and their egos#military program spouse#cod#simon x reader#simon riley x reader#Price is MVP tbh#Simon x Thimble#ghost x reader
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Not Wholly Evil |V| Pirate!Eddie au
a/n thank you to @eddies-house for helping me figure out this darn chapter. you saved me from a menty b.
please remember to support by reblogging and commenting!! you don't know how much it helps writers
Series Masterlist
word count: 8.2k
"semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. mention of severe wounds. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. pirates are pigs: mentions of non-con, but it does not actually occur. malnourishment and weight loss. paranoia. mention of poisoning. abuse. manhandling. lying.
Chapter 5: Flintlock
“A taste for adventure is by no means a masculine monopoly” ― Lloyd Alexander
It was certainly strange, seeing the cabin through the daylight. The wooden panelling of the walls and floor looked softer, and the decorations on the walls were no longer covered in menacing shadows. The bed, however, was softer than your dream made it seem. It was better than the ground, but knowing who usually occupied it made your back stiff with dread.
The room was empty as you got up, stretching your body out of the foreign feeling of a bed. Another thing to thank the captain for— perverting the concept of a bed. There was no space for anyone to hide in the cabin, but you still looked around, waiting for him to appear out of thin air. It seemed like just the thing he could do and had been doing all your time on board. Only once you checked every corner could you properly set your mind at rest.
Besides the sunshine, nothing had changed from the night before. It was as if you had stepped through time, from night to morning. Your old clothes hung on the edge of the bed. The bookcase was missing the one book you had pulled out, leaving the rest at an awkward angle. Your dinner plate and ale jug, alongside the captain’s empty rum bottle, were left behind on the desk, but as you walked towards the table, you noticed the cup to be filled again, and on the plate stood two thick slices of bread and some brightly coloured fruit you had not seen before—more food that must have been retrieved during the brief exploration of the nameless island. You sat down on the throne and tried to push aside the feeling that came whenever you touched something, anything, to do with the captain. It was like he haunted all his possessions, never leaving you alone.
The bread was the safest option; it was your first bite, breaking your fast. After the delicious meal you had been given last evening, the salty dryness of the dough did not compare by the slightest, but the cool fresh water that had also been left for you made up for it.
And the fruit…
You were still unsure of what it was, but the juice of it felt healing to your senses. You ate it slowly, trying to savour every bite.
Once done, you noticed that all the documents the captain had thrown off last night still lay spread out on the ground. This, in particular, unsettled you. Just seeing the mess of it all splayed out there. So, without much thought, you went to pick up the papers, stacking them in neat piles and placing them on the corner of the large desk. Soon enough, you were done, and only one piece of paper was left. It had fallen right under the desk. You went to pull it out when you noticed it.
The drawer you had tried to open the night before. The one Munson had unlocked with the key around his neck and had taken a bottle of rum from. It was ajar. So close to being locked that Munson must have thought he had closed it when he slammed it. But no, with a quick pull at the handle, it opened up for you.
Inside was a collection of bottles in different shapes and sizes. Most were still full. You picked one up out of sheer curiosity. Why lock up this stock? Unless it was valuable, or dangerous? Maybe he tried to keep it away from everyone else on board. But as you held the bottle, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Just a simple, red glass bottle, the cork wedged sturdily into the neck. The liquid sloshed against the container like any other drink as you tipped it around. Still trying to understand the content of the locked drawer, you put it down in its place.
Or were about to. Because that is when you noticed the paper sticking out from underneath the other bottles. That gnawing feeling in your stomach returned as you contemplated what to do. The captain had made it very clear he did not appreciate you looking through his things, and you were sure that if he were to catch you again, it would not end as simply as you having to star-gaze for an evening. The warnings were loud and clear.
Then again, when did you start caring about those? Or anything he said.
Moving the biggest bottles around carefully to create space, you pulled the paper out of the drawer. At first, you thought you had ripped it, but upon closer inspection, you realised it had been torn in halves long before you had gotten your hands on it. The paper was browned at the edges, a corner half-burned as if someone had decided against its destruction at the last minute. The words meant little at first, but as you read on and became more familiar with the hand they were written in, pieces fell into place. And they fell hard.
Like the loud clash you heard from outside the cabin, startling you. Scared you were about to get caught, you put the paper down into the drawer and shut it with your leg, holding your breath for the door to open. You waited for several seconds, but nothing moved.
You did not know what caused the commotion or if you were about to be greeted by someone outside the door, but you knew you could not stay in the cabin alone for much longer. The more time passed, the more similar the situation felt to the night before. The gnawing urge to look through all the drawers and nooks was just as big as the risk of being caught, and it was dangerous. Fortunately, the door opened flawlessly when you pulled at it.
It had remained a cloudless sky, but now the dark navy sprinkled with stars was exchanged for a vibrant and youthful blue. The sun hung above your heads, piercing the air onto your skin in a warm glow.
The crew was below you, spread out around the deck, and now one had looked up or probably even noticed your presence. So, making yourself comfortable on the stairs, you sat by, peeking through the balustrade bars, and watched what was happening. After all, it was a morning full of observations.
The men were spread out over the ship in groups, all busy with their own activities. The easiest to make out were those in a circle, watching as two of them attacked eachother with swords. The smiles on their faces told you enough; it was merely another session of training or some form of playfighting. The last time they had been doing it, you did not care to stand by and watch, not at all interested in their antics. This time, however, you took the opportunity to observe how they went about it. Since it was nothing but leisure, the moves were wide, easy to block, but once in a while, they would nick eachother just to stay sharp. Then, the attacked would groan in pain, grabbing at the part of their body that was hit in agony.
Each time it happened, the small crowd observing would show their satisfaction or disappointment, depending on which side of the duel they supported, with shouts and encouragement.
‘C’mon Harrington! Get him!’
‘Shut it, will you,’ “Harrington”, as he was called by his audience, turned to look in their way, annoyed, but in that short second, his opponent took a shot with his sword’s pommel, hitting him in his temple. Harrington was knocked back a few steps and had to shake the hit off but remained on his feet.
You were unsure what the game's rules were and how one would win in the circumstances, but one thing was clear—Harrington stood little chance as his opponent managed to get another cut in. A bruise, most likely from a previous encounter much like this one, had already formed under his eye, but even with the dark purple shade on his skin, you could not deny he looked quite handsome… for a criminal. You had seen him around, pulling at ropes, carrying around their precious cargo, and keeping other crewmates from breaking out into fistfights—he must have brought your meals down to the cell once too.
His brown hair was sleeked back but tended to move around as he did, so he constantly had to push it out of his face. The collar of his shirt was wide open, revealing a sweat-stained chest.
‘I really don’t get it,’ a raspy voice spoke from above you, making you strain your neck to look back up at the quarter-deck. Somehow, in your spectatorship of what was happening below, you had completely missed the fact that someone had been steering the ship and had, in fact, stood beside you next to the captain’s door all along.
You had not expected to hear your thoughts reciprocated and voiced anywhere near this ship, so they left you stunned. And perhaps this was the reason why you had not got up and run off at the sound of them or the presence of someone at your side but instead stammered out a clumsy response. ‘Sorry?’
‘They run around with their shiny sticks, hit each other just to cry about it like children,’ your new conversation partner said, ‘I just do not understand the appeal of it.’
‘No, me neither, really.’ In your opinion, there were much better, less barbaric ways to release energy and tension than this brutish behaviour. The fight below was still firmly underway, but you had gained a new interest in the person by your side. You couldn’t help but notice how they wore clothes in a very similar manner to you—a large shirt tightened by a leather vest, long trousers kept in and shorter with rope. It was as if they made do with things that had never been intended for them. Their hair could be short or long, depending on who you spoke to, but you could not tell.
‘I’ll tell you this, I’ve sailed across all possible seas in the world and men are still one of the biggest mysteries I have not been able to solve.’
You blinked slowly as the words reached your barely awake mind. A revelation that had struck you more than anything on board.
You weren’t the only woman here. The other just sat down next to you on the steps.
‘You can stop staring,’ she said, slightly frazzled, and you quickly looked away, mumbling an apology. Despite that, you kept stealing glances her way. Her hair, light as sand, was chopped messily as if done by hand with a blunt knife. Her skin was sunkissed with freckles and perhaps a bit of dirt. ‘I’m Buck. I know who you are, of course.’
‘How—’ How had you not seen her before? How were you not aware of a woman on board all this time? And perhaps it was wishful thinking to assume that she might be someone you could be comfortable with just from that one common trait, but you could not deny that something in you felt more at peace than seconds before.
‘Surrounded by this type, I understand you’d want to keep your head down,’ she smiled awkwardly, ‘but you can’t forget how to look up.’ She tilted her head back as she said it, so you followed suit. The sun blinded you, but as you focused on what was above you, you saw the masts towering tall in their black silhouettes and there, atop the tallest one, was the lookout point.
‘You sit in the crow’s nest,’ you smiled understandingly.
‘Robin’s nest, I took it upon myself to rename it, don’t know why, I just resonate more with them— call it superstition, I don’t know— and I’ve earned the right considering none of them want to make the climb.’ she pushed her chin towards the rest of the crew. ‘But it’s a good view, you should join me up there some day. If you ever need to get away, you know.’
‘I— I’m not the greatest with heights.’ The speed at which Buck spoke left your brain gripping onto words to keep up, and so your reply came out a bit frazzled.
‘Me neither,’ Buck shrugged. ‘I’m surprised you haven’t seen me get stuck in the nets before. It happens twice a day, at least.’
‘And they still let you climb up there?’ Surely, she could not be the smartest choice for the task. Robin snickered at your shocked expression.
‘Like I said, none of them will do it.’
‘Why do it at all, then? Why risk your life every day for… them?’ These hooligans, criminals, fraudsters, monsters, villains…
‘Because I am one ofthem.’ She knew what you had meant with your comment as she spoke softer, giving you a gentle tap on the shoulder with her hand in reminder.
You glanced at the men in front of you and then turned back to Robin. ‘No, you’re really not.’
‘What because I’m a woman?’ Robin raised a brow.
‘Well, for starters.’ From a very early age, you knew that men and women were two entirely different beings. Just the way mankind treats eachother on that principle is evidence enough.
‘Intelligence wise, you would be correct,’ Robin stated, leaning back on the steps, resting her weight on her elbows. Despite her petite frame, you noticed she wasn’t afraid to take up space. Despite a comfortable distance between you, her knee still met with yours as she sat in a wide position. ‘But we are all just people.’
You had wanted to reply but thought better of it. She saw herself as a part of them, and so an insult to the others would be an insult to her, and for some reason, you did not want to say anything that might hurt her. Strangely, for a second, you considered the idea of actually liking her. Out of everyone aboard the Hellfire, the barrelwoman seemed like the most likely person you could find yourself befriending.
But before any more of the conversation could be led, giving you a chance to let those thoughts bloom or rot, another voice boomed over everyone else’s to prompt Buck of her duties.
‘Robin! The ship won’t steer itself!’ It was none other than Munson, but you could not find him among his people.
‘Aye, captain.’ Bunk, or Robin as she also went by apparently, rolled her eyes, getting up with a heaved breath. ‘See you around then.’
You didn’t say anything, too confused by your own thoughts. You couldn’t keep your eyes away as she returned to the helm; couldn’t stop thinking about what had brought her here? What had made her choose this life to live with all these men and act in such ways? You had wondered about everyone aboard the Hellfire, but Robin… a lady sea robber. You had never heard of such a thing. It was spinning your world around but also genuinely fascinating to think about. As you sat on that step, more things came to your mind: you wanted to ask Robin about life at sea, her crewmates, and her captain. But this opportunity had sailed; it would have to be another time.
You also could not believe you had just had a… civil exchange of words with one of them and that you had not even minded it all that much. As you looked around, it all did not feel as bad as it used to. You could see the idea of pleasantness in the actions happening before you; the laughter and the antics.
These antics continued. The fight you had been watching had not yet ended, but by the looks of Harrington, it could not possibly last much longer. His, to you unnamed, opponent had just pushed his blade flush against Harrington’s throat, locking him into an uncomfortable tight spot. With a tap on the arm, heavier than Robin had done to you, he tapped out of the game. Half the men cheered while the rest groaned and cursed out their wager.
As the winner of the match was picking out his next match, the audience was slowly losing interest, and one of them must have found you sitting on the sidelines. Curious glances were shot your way as they all slowly caught sight of you, not saying much. Just as they had gotten used to the new addition to the ship, you appeared in clothes that were unmistakably the captain’s. Feeling all their eyes on you, as if your seat on the stairs was a pedestal, you moved away and tried to make your way down to your designated space on board below decks.
However, your path was obstructed by one person specifically as he dried his face off with a piece of cloth.
‘Excuse me,’ you dared to say, hoping they would move out of the way. Something about having had an entire conversation with Robin made you feel a bit more comfortable speaking to the rest of them. After all, they—you—were all just people.
‘I wouldn’t run away if I was you.’ Harrington said. ‘Or you’ll never stop.’
‘You think they’ll let me stop?’ If you stayed, letting them near you, look at you like that, wouldn’t that be surrendering to their power.
‘I let you,’ he said, throwing the cloth over his shoulder.
‘I’d say you made me, rather than let.’ You crossed your arms. He had, after all, stood in your way and objected to letting you pass.
‘You could always,’ he turned a quarter of a circle, pointing to his side, ‘move. Unless I am that terrifying.’
‘It may come as a surprise but I have very little reason to be afraid of you at this moment.’ It was a half-truth, as his skills in the fight have shown you little to worry for, but there was little you knew about him or what he was capable of.
Harrington nodded. ‘I take it you watched me from up there.’
‘I watched the fight, yes.’ You could not admit that you had not paid as much attention to whom he was fighting as you did to Harrington himself. ‘It was… entertaining.’
‘I’m glad my suffering amuses you. Yes, that makes this all worth it.’ He pointed up to his bruised eye.
‘You cannot blame me for your misfortune.’
‘Well, you are to blame for my inattentiveness.’
His words left you too dumbstricken to respond, and unfortunately, the commotion around you diverted the entire conversation. Another duel had begun, and men were already cheering for their victors as swords clinked together.
Harrington, being nothing but a simple man, ran over to his designated spot in the crows to cheer on his successor. However, it was all a bit too loud, and instead, you noticed what else was happening on the deck. From where you had sat before, there had not been a clear view of it, but now you were only a few feet away from another small group of the crew.
They sat around a small table. It wasn’t clear what they were doing, but someone would shout out every few minutes and slap their hand on the surface while the rest groaned in frustration.
That is where you found the captain. Huddled between two other men, sitting on a low-built crate, occupying more space than there was with his legs, arm on one thigh as he leaned forward, laughing at whatever was happening at the table. It was a scene like no other. The casualness and pleasantry of it all felt foreign.
You had been used to the men on the Red Tail and their routines, but the ship always came first and, with it, their work and duty. There was never any time for… games. And you would never have caught the captain participating in any of it. Not even at home. This wasn’t something men did. Children, maybe, but no soldier or respected merchant. Only drunks and frauds. But as you looked at it, you had no idea why it was deemed so peculiar to find pleasure in these silly activities.
You were still trying to figure out, from a safe distance, what it was that they were playing when you caught Munson’s gaze. Or more so, you met it, as his eyes had already been on you. Much like everyone else’s had been previously, and yet there was an intensity there that no one else could remake.
‘There you are!’ He shouted out once you saw him, making everyone around him stop and look your way. A dozen pairs of eyes were directed at you now as you stood frozen in place. ‘Took you long enough to join as, darling.’ Some men from across the ship, around the duel circle, stopped to look at what the captain was doing too.
‘If I had known I was invited, I wouldn’t have come.’ You quipped back and felt a gust of pride at the sound of a few chuckles from the men standing nearest you, who were quickly stopped by the stern look of their captain.
‘Now, now, don’t be like that.’ He got up from his seat, raising his voice and gaining the attention of all now. It was like a siren’s call, making everyone stop in their tracks to listen. ‘My thanks are in order for, gentlemen, our princess has led us back on course. Worked all night, in fact, to find the correct coordinates and directions—which is more then I have seen of some of you in the past days.’ With this, he raised a cup in your honour, and while no one else had anything to raise, they all cheered. You stood there, speechless and confused, unsure of what was happening. Why was the captain suddenly so openly appreciative? So… nice?
You ignored the feeling to reciprocate the thankfulness and instead opted for the unfiltered thoughts going through you. ‘You do know “princess” is not my title, right?’
‘And I was never ranked captain… yet here we are, princess. So let us enjoy this fantasy we live in!’ He encouraged another cheer from his crowd. Then, once the rest settled down, he spoke directly to you from across the ship. ‘Come, why don’t you join us, darling. We were about to start another round.’
‘I don’t think there are any seats left.’ The space around the table seemed rather crowded, with each seat taken and many more men standing around. You had no business or interest in getting involved in that, but the captain, as always, persisted.
‘Wheeler was just leaving.’ He pointed to the man sitting across from him.
‘No?’ The man said slowly.
‘Well, you were loosing anyway,’ Munson shooed him away, creating an empty spot for you.
‘I don’t know the rules.’ You persevered in your own opinion.
‘You’ll learn soon enough, come.’
You were about to object, but what else could you expect than the captain calling over another of his crew, this one at least a head taller than you and probably triple your size overall. The giant walked straight, making everyone else move, until he reached you. Then, with a grin, he showed you the path in a straight line towards the table.
Unimpressed, you just said, ‘Thank you.’ and made your way over.
‘Glad you decided to join us.’ Munson said as you looked at the table. On it were six cups; only one turned the right side up. ‘Please, do take a seat.’ You felt a large hand on your shoulders, pushing you down on the crate.
‘Rules are simple,’ the captain began explaining; he picked up the cup before him, ‘5 dice. You roll them for yourself and place a bet, indicating the number of dice you think should be on the table. Speak the truth or bluff, it doesn’t matter, but if you’re caught on a lie… well,’ he shrugged, with it saying enough. The rules sounded simple enough, but one piece of vital information was missing.
‘What are the stakes?’ This was a betting game, so there must be something they were all betting on. You took the cup in front of you and pulled it closer. The dice rattled underneath.
‘We are but humble sailors,’ Munson said, already shaking his set of dice under his cup with a swift wrist move, ‘it’s mostly ship duties and chores. Sometimes meal rations if you’re brave. Anything that speaks to you, darling?’ Oh, there was plenty, but you had to play it smart.
‘If I win,’ you began shaking your dice as well, hovering over your words for a moment to think, ‘I get your cabin… until the end of the journey’ ‘I’ll happily share my bed with you, princess,’ Munson snickered.
‘I wasn’t finished.’ You smiled back. ‘I get your cabin. You get mine.’ Honestly, you did not have a preference for either sleeping option. The bed in Munson’s quarters was stiff, so you might as well have slept on the floor. It was more about what it meant to kick the captain out of his own cabin. You enjoyed the idea and the prospect of encouraging the captain to bring you home faster so he could return to his quarters.
Something flinched in the captain’s muscles as he tried to remain unbothered by your words. The dice kept rolling underneath the cups. The crowd backed off, quickly understanding that this was a game only two of you could play.
‘You sure about that?’ he tried to play it off smoothly. You simply nodded.
‘Name your price, captain.’
‘How about… If I win…’ a small smile grew on his lips, ´we just play another round?’
‘What?’ That couldn’t be it? ‘And if you win again? What happens then?’ Would you be playing this game until the end of time?
‘Got such low chances for yourself?’ He leaned forward a bit while you pushed away from the table.
‘I would just like to know the game before I play.’
‘I think you’ll learn best if we just play, so, shall we?’ He shook his cup with one last flick of the wrist before putting it to a halt, his ringed fingers clutching to the top of it, eyes locked on you as you did the same. Lightly, you tilted the cup to show the dice. They were wooden, carved out with a knife, most likely by someone on this ship. The sides were uneven, so who knows how even the odds were for the game, but to you, they seemed alright. The eyes were dug out of the panels like small holes.
One large eyes, two pairs of threes, a four and five.
Putting the cup back down, you looked up at the captain, his face untelling of any emotion.
‘Ladies go first,’ he announced with a hand gesture. It was up to you to start the betting. With the numbers twirling around in your mind, you thought of what would be the best move to make. To predict his dice was impossible and would only drive you crazy, but perhaps you could predict his next move by what you presented.
‘Four fours.’ You did your best to speak with a flat tone, to not show any emotions. Keep your breathing steady and keep your hands still. To not show any signs of nerves. The captain nodded and took another glance at his dice. There were maybe two before his rebuttal.
‘Five fours.’ There was nothing you could read off of him. The tension across the table only intensified, growing thicker with every moment of silence that passed by.
‘Three fives,’ you replied. The captain raised a suspicious brow.
‘Three sixes.’
‘Four sixes.´ You spoke slowly but confidently. Or with what you hoped could be seen as confidence. It was a lost battle, really. With you having none, there was no chance the captain held four sixes under his cup. He must know it, too, in your case. You knew it just is how the corner of his mouth raised in amusement.
‘Four sixes?' he asked, and you simply nodded again, but he wanted more from you. ‘Speak up, princess.’
‘Yes.’ You spoke sternly, remaining as still as possible. The captain shook his head once, grimacing.
‘See, darling, I don’t believe in beginner’s luck.’
‘Well, captain, I couldn’t tell it’s your first time playing. But don’t worry, you’re doing really well.’ You gave him a sweet sort of smile. So sweet that it could make you sick to your stomach. A few men around you pushed down their laugh, ignoring their captain’s deadly glares. He refocused his attention your way.
‘Show up, princess, because I doubt luck is this much in your favour.’ He tilted his chin, nudging you from across the table to reveal your dice, which you did with a sigh because when is it ever. Since you had stepped foot on this ship, luck seemed to have been missing from your life in its entirety. And yet, with this being a known fact, you were confused to see Munson’s reaction at the reveal of what you had rolled. It was not quite pride nor disappointment. His shoulders slacked down, and something pulled at the muscles in his face. He needed a second to compose his reaction to his winning.
‘Congratulations,’ you muttered without looking any longer at him. Ready to play the next promised round, you grabbed the cup to roll your dice again but were surprised to see Munson get off his seat. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Time for round two, darling.’ He smirked, walking past his crewmates to the centre of the deck. He had moved so far back that you had to turn in your seat. The confusion blocked your speaking ability, but fortunately, the captain was ready to explain. ‘I never said what game that would be, now did I?’ He stood there, surrounded by his men. His stance was wide, and his forearm hung lazily over the helm of his sword, which hung by his side. He let his fingers dance daintily across the silver while waiting for your response, the rings adorning them glistening in the sun.
‘What–’ you took a deep breath as you felt it getting stuck in your throat, ‘what game will this be?’
‘I have been rather looking forward to a little duel, in all fairness. I think we all have.’ He pointed around to everyone in the audience around you. You looked at them. Their smiles were big, and their posture relaxed but eager. They were expecting a show, and, in all fairness, you wanted one too. It’s the least of what you deserved after days of this hell.
Your shirt, still rather ample on your frame, slid down your shoulder as you got up, but you pulled it up with a swift move. Munson, and the rest, watched as you walked up.
‘Any new rules for this round?’ You asked loudly enough for everyone to hear, but the captain had other plans. He closed the gap between the two of you to answer, whispering the words right against your ear.
‘First one to be on both knees loses. How about that, princess?’ He pulled away again to ask you the question, but only a step. You blinked, took one more deep breath and nodded.
‘Oh, this will be fun,’ he smiled, and of course, he had. You could only imagine how much joy it would bring him to humiliate you in front of all these men. Especially since you had already, in front of everyone, admitted that you had not been taught to fight. How easy will it be to win, then?
He called out: ‘Someone give the lady a sword!’ It was aimed at no one, precisely who had handed you your weapon. You barely had the time to look around to see who had given you their sword, as it was thrust upon you with quite a lot of force, pushing you a step back. You tried to get a good grip on it, but no matter how you held it, the sword felt awkward in your hand.
‘You expect me to fight with this?’ You looked at your sword, suppressing any visual reaction to its form. The blade looked tethered and most visibly abused in the previous battle.
‘Not alluring enough for the lady?’ the captain said, pulling his sword out of its scabbard.
‘No, it is not that,’ you kept inspecting your sword apprehensively, ‘though I am sure you have more handsome weapons in your property. I just hoped for a more balanced blade.’ While already at a large disadvantage, with a sword like this, you had absolutely no chance at winning. You tried to hold it up on your hand, balancing the blade against the grip, with the former immediately falling to the ground no matter how you attempted to hold it. You gave the captain an apologetic smile as the sword clanged across the floorboards. He, in response, avoided your gaze by looking at his men for a substitute.
‘Harrington!’ he called out. Harrington stepped out from the ring of spectators, a bit stunned by the sudden call. Munson cocked his head your way, so the crewmember approached you and handed you the sword you had watched him fight with earlier. Closer up, you were taken aback by the harsh scar across his throat, like a deep indent from what must have been a rope tightened around it once upon a time. Another bruise, you noticed, was also already forming around his temple. There was his earlier opponent who had hit him.
‘Thank you,’ you said softly as he handed you his weapon. Just from your initial grip, you could tell it was much better. Harrington nodded and moved away quickly from your and his captain’s fireline.
While you knew enough about the objects to know what quality was good enough to use, the sword still felt foreign and awkward in your hand. You did not know how to stand while holding it, and seeing Munson opposite you, with his full confidence aglow, made you feel even smaller. But despite it all, one thing was for sure. Enough time had gone by, and enough had come between you for you to know that he could no longer treat you the same as he had the day you were broad on board. He could not do whatever he pleased with you. You wouldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t. So, while he looked you up and down with his casual smirk, you made a point to, somewhat confidently, keep your head up.
‘What do you say, princess,’ Munson swung his sword back and forth, ‘I’ll go easy on you.’ With a weak attempt to release some tension from your shoulders, you rolled your head from side to side before copying the captain and letting the sword smoothly move around with the slightest wrist movements. It cut the air with audible slashes, leaving the captain and everyone else mute.
‘It’s appreciated, captain,’ you didn’t forget to respond to his generosity.
The captain simply nodded. No formal duelling rules were aboard the Hellfire since no one had time for the silly rituals. He simply stepped into position, and so you followed behind. He was, naturally, also the first to attack.
You were just in time to block it. The blades clinked at the point of impact, and there was a moment of confusion on Munson’s face. Hesitation. It was brief and all-telling in his eyes and brow, and lucky for you, it didn’t go unnoticed. It was a blink of an action as he tried to process what you had just done. The instinct at which you performed. Did he see your smile?
But the moment was soon as he proceeded with his next swing. And the next. Next. one after the other, locking you in with his movement. From each new angle, never passing on the theatrics of it all with turns and bends at which you should not have been able to keep up—but you did. You counteracted every attack, perhaps not flawlessly, straining to keep up with the speed and agility at which the captain moved, but it was more than anyone had expected you to be capable of.
And finally, the opportunity presented itself. A brisk moment of stillness gave you a chance to swing your sword. Of course, he blocked it, steady on his feet, but Munson took a small step back as you kept coming forth. The metal practically echoed over the ship. Cheers from the audience subsided as everyone got lost in the duel. There seemed to be no end; you only moved faster, harsher, harder.
As you kept moving, the crows had to move along with you, making space for the extended movements of the blades. If it had not been for the well-times duck, there would have been a head short on deck. The captain kept moving back from you until there was a thud. He had nowhere else to go as you backed him up against a barrel. There was that brief flash of panic on his face again as he came across a situation he had never expected to land in, but it washed away just as quickly. There was no time for him to react to the situation, for your sword was coming closer and closer to him again, and this time he had nowhere to go. With a final move, you pressed the blade against his throat. You were both breathing heavily. Sweat poured down on both of you underneath the scorching sun. The tip of your sword remained under his Adam’s apple, which moved up and down as Munson heaved in the air. And yet, even with his neck tightly stretched as he was forced to look up because of the sword digging into his skin, he had a bemused smile upon his face.
‘You said no one taught you how to fight?’ It was more of a question than a statement, as if he was confirming his memory.
‘Which is true,’ you pulled away, happy to see you had left your mark as a small cut. ‘No civil man would teach their daughter how to draw a sword, or let a lady compromise her polite statue with violence, or put her in any compromising and potentially dangerous situation, for that matter.
‘But they will also not let an opportunity to boast go by.’ You watched him swipe his hand at the blood pooling from the cut you had made, and you could not ignore the pride you felt with it. ‘So, I observed as they made me watch them train.’
‘That much is obvious,’ he wiped his now bloody fingers on his trousers, but the blood came pouring, slowly, down his neck. A thin red line marking your moment of victory. You couldn’t help but smile. And yet, he spoke with the most confidence, leaning against the barrel that had locked him in. ‘but we’re not done yet, princess.’ And then he attacked with a strike so flush and quick you had almost missed it. It cut the air by your side in half, and you could feel the repercussions hit you in your cheek.
Of course, the game was not over just yet. The winner was meant to be the last one standing, literally. You might have locked him in, but he would not give up until he was down on his knees.
Munson attacked once more, taking advantage of the incoordination that came with his first blow. His target had become low, with a focus on your legs. He swiped at your feet with such an intensity that you knew if he hit you, it would leave its own mark and one much worse than the cut you had made. The only thing you could do to avoid his force was to backtrack, jumping from one leg to another. You moved around the ship like a dancing monkey in the circle of everyone’s attention. Your attempts to attack had become poorer as the captain’s smile grew wider.
He took one long swipe down at your ankles, to which you could only respond by jumping as high as possible. The new clothes you had taken the night before certainly aided you in the acrobatics necessary when dealing with a duelling partner such as Munson, but you still wore your own shoes. The heels buckled as you landed on the ground, throwing you off balance. You felt yourself falling, but the final drop never came.
Your side hit someone’s sturdy frame. When you looked up, your eyes met a pair of brown ones. Brown, surrounded by a sea of dark purple bruises. Harrington held you up with one arm.
‘Your footing is all wrong,’ he spoke softly, but not enough to keep it a secret between the two of you as he pulled you up to your feet.
‘Funny, as I was just copying you,’ you laughed.
The captain called out to you impatiently. ‘C’mon, princess, the fun isn’t over yet.’ But perhaps it was, as he went in for a poorly calculated strike, and you screamed out, silencing everyone to their core, bending in two as a searing pain met your side. Still holding you, Harrington kept you up as much as he could. A task that came harder to be when you went limp. He stumbled back, almost falling over himself.
When you looked down, you saw your shirt, brand new in a sense, now had a large gash. The bottom half of it hanging on by loose threads. What once was pale ivory was now coloured crimson. You looked up at your attacker, who stood only a few feet away, his weapon hanging loosely in his grip. Higher, you saw his eyes, big in fear. An indescribable expression was painted across his face, but you hoped that he could read yours.
Trying to ignore the pain that was now overwhelming your whole body, you pushed yourself away from Harrington and passed the captain. His hand reached out to you, but you froze before he could anchor himself. Before getting yourself into more trouble, as a million thoughts raced through your mind, you dropped the sword to the ground. It fell onto the floorboards with a deafening clatter, and like that, you walked on quickly to the trapdoor, ignoring the captain’s calling of your name and the feeling it brought upon you to hear it for the first time in so long. There were more important, more painful things on your mind now.
Everyone moved out of your way, but their eyes stayed on you until you passed them. Robin had just reached the bottom of the stairs down from the helm, but she stood there just as everyone else, unsure what to do. She glanced at what was happening behind you, as you could hear people talking and moving but could not bother to turn around. You just wanted to get away from it all. The last thing you heard before heading below deck was someone angrily calling out the captain’s name, but it all felt like a blur around you.
Only once you were in your cell did you dare look at the damage he had caused. With a deep breath, you pulled the shirt’s material up to reveal a long narrow cut on your ribs. The only thing that made you feel alright was the fact that it did not look deep. As far as sword wounds go, it was a graze, but the blood continued streaming. And so did your tears. But you let that pain, and fear, boil down to anger and strength to rip the last few inches of the loose hanging pieces of shirt and wrap them around your middle as tightly as possible to stop the bleeding.
This is what happens when you let your guard down when you do not run away and instead stay and let yourself be hurt by these monsters. You did not what to think that Robin and Harrington had been a play, some kind of ruse of the captain’s invention to give you that fake sense of security, to slip you into dropping your apprehensions and lead you to… where you were now, bleeding out on the heap of hay, back in your cage.
With your heart beating into your ears, you didn’t realise that someone had followed you down to the lower deck, or hear the footsteps coming down to see you, nor the chuckle of the chains and buckles that came with the steps.
‘For what it’s worth,’ he said once he had already stepped into your holding cell, ‘I am truly sorry.’
You had no idea what it was lying beside you, but you grabbed it and, without saying a word but with as much power as you could muster, you threw it in the general direction of his face. With a small lean, he managed to dodge it and the item fell through the railings of the cell to shatter on the ground. You stared at him darkly, hoping the message was clear. He had never seemed to be able to do it, but maybe this one time, he could let you be alone…
Of course, it could not be that simple. He would not start listening to you now. Instead, the captain bent down to his knees, meeting your line of sight. In his hand, he held one of the bottles from his drawer.
‘Please, may I?’ he showed you the spirit bottle, and you got the idea of what he meant with it. It still took you a moment to formulate your response as you took it all in. ‘No, you may not.’ With a snap of your words, you removed the bottle from his grip and pulled the cork out with your teeth. You kept it in your mouth as you poured the alcohol over your fresh wound. The groan that left you as the alcohol burned away at the wound was only slightly muffled.
‘It was never my intention to hurt you.’ He said in that same, defeated tone.
‘And yet,’ you had spit out the cork, this time hitting him in the chest, ‘that seems to be what happens any time you come near me.’
‘There is no excuse for me, I know whatever I will say will mean nothing to you.’ He watched you scoff at his response. ‘See?’
‘What are you doing here?’ You sighed, already tired of his presence. To think that maybe not an hour had gone by since you had woken up, moderately at peace, in his cabin and now you were lying before him, hands covered in blood and spirit, and your mind dizzying with pain and rage.
‘How– how bad is it?’ There was a shake in his words, and you could not understand whatever for. Each move you made sent shocks down into your ribs, but as you did not feel like saying much more to him, you tilted your arm up to show the severity of the cut. The alcohol had washed off most of the excess blood and left behind the thing and precise cut over your side. Munson looked at it and another muscle in his face flinched at the sight of what he has caused. ‘It does not seem to be perilous.’
‘Yes, considering I am not dead I had figured as much.’ As you still had the bottle in your hand, you lifted it up to your lips and took a large sip. The burn at your throat was comparable to the feeling of the liquid touching your wound, but it was much more appreciated. After one more sip, you looked back at Munson. ‘Anything else, captain?’
‘No, I— I do not know what came over me, and I will not forgive myself for what I have done.’ He was stumbling over his words, but those he managed to produce left you in a whirl. How genuine it all was, you could not tell, but the deep regret he seemed to have reflected in his being. But you had learned your lesson to fall for such weaknesses.
‘Yes, it must be horrible seeing your investment get compromised.’ You took another swig of the drink. The captain opened his mouth to respond, but decided against it. He stood up already turned to leave when a final thought came to you.
‘From what I remember of the rules of the game,’ your words paralysed him mid-step as you called out, ‘I never fell to my knees.’ He, however, had.
The captain turned enough for you to see his profile and how the corner of his mouth turned up in amusement. ‘Fine, you win.’ Then he continued walking up to the ladder.
You smiled to yourself as he left.
You won.
Chapter 6
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This better pay off cause my back is HURTING after just two colors
#ramblings of a crackhead#guided hands au#lncgtv#luz noceda's comprehensive guide to vigilantism#Bronze's Cork Board Adventures
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Thinking about @idanit 's polish Jeeves au, and wondering how that would work for my country. Nowhere near as in-depth, and I'm not a naturally fancy person but here are my thoughts on Jeeves and Wooster but in Australia:
(This'll have to be modernish too, history isn't my strong suit)
As far as the Wooster history goes, I'd say the Woosters were probably in Australia just as the colonisation was starting up. Perhaps his ancestors founded a town, or did some Stuart- esque exploring.
Perhaps they (particularly Aunt Agatha) are very proud to say that their ancestors fought in a war, and all fail to mention that it was the Great Emu War.
I'm not entirely certain how much of my Jeeves knowledge is fan-generated, but I imagine he started working young, perhaps his relatives worked in cruise ships, which would give him his experience in fancier settings. I'd wager he got a lot of his encyclopaedic knowledge from the quiz nights hosted on the ships, which gets him interested in learning new things.
As far as Jeeves and Wooster meeting, perhaps Aunt Dahlia meets Jeeves on a cruise, is impressed by his brains and decorum and hires him to look after Bertie.
As far as where they'd live, perhaps Sydney? Wealthy area, goodish weather.
I imagine Bertie would attempt to take up surfing, and fail dismally. A lot of rallying round and helpful towelling is in order afterward.
I can definitely picture Jeeves packing a little barbecue to cook sausages on the beach, for when Bertie gets back in.
I wonder if Jeeves would think surfing is undignified. Probably, but he's likely a strong swimmer, good for fishing Bertram out of the soup and various bodies of water.
I just KNOW Jeeves makes the most wonderful pavlova. And lamingtons from scratch.
Canon Bertie is very proud of his schooling but I've no idea where he'd go.
Tuppy has definitely fought a kangaroo at least once. Most say the kangaroo won. Also claims he can take on a cassowary. (He can't).
Gussie is into platypi. It is his destiny.
Bertie buys a cork hat that gets a swift execution.
In a more Jooster setting, a shared xmas would see Jeeves in a paper crown, after much pleading from Bertie. It is traditional, after all.
Bingo follows many girls into activities he's not suited to, including but not limited to: windsurfing, sailing (he buys a catamaran to repeatedly fall off), bird watching, skim boarding, surf mats and wake boarding (this romance fails after Bingo slings the girl into a riverside gum tree.)
A particularly peeved Jeeves sees no issue swatting mosquitoes that have landed on Bertie. Bertie has his suspicions about the mosquitoes existence.
Bertie still plays his piano, though an attempt to learn the didgeridoo causes issues between the two.
#that's all I can think of so far#jeeves and wooster#reginald jeeves#bertie wooster#gussie fink nottle#bingo little
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