#the crazy lady cork board is FINALLY HAPPENING

[bronzepatriarchy]

Oh yeah, it's finally coming together

[ashandboneca]

Stories from the Bookshop

This post is inspired by my iTunes library, who decided tonight was the night, after years and years, to play the Best of Pagan Song. 

Once upon a time, I worked in an occult/pagan bookstore. I spent a little over 7 years there, and were they still open, I would likely still be there. 

I was hired when I was 25, and when I was 27 I was promoted to assistant manager. It was owned by a mother/daughter team. A lot of people talk about terrible retail jobs, talk about how much they hated their bosses and the customers, how boring it was, etc. Even people who worked at the same job prior warned me - the owners were mean and unreasonable, the job sucked, it was miserable.

I honestly cannot say this is the truth for me. I actively loved my job. I took a lot of pride in what I did. I got along well with my bosses - they were a particular sort, but so is everyone, and so was I. They seemed to value me. They took my ideas and implemented them, they supported me when I wanted to spread my wings, and they trusted me. 

Mostly, I viewed what I did as a service. I gave advice and recommendations, I listened to people’s needs. I got to know people, and got to know about their lives and their problems, and I actually cared a lot for the people I was helping. While my job was to sell, I didn’t recommend anything to someone that they didn’t need. I didn’t upsell. I didn’t cajole people into buying things they didn’t need. I acted as a resource, and encouraged people to educate themselves so they were better armed for their next visit. I dealt with prison chaplains who wanted us to fulfill orders and give recommendations for their incarcerated pagans, and sometimes spoke to prisoners over the phone to advise and build orders.

That said, there’s always a few who cross the line. These are their stories, based on my recollection. Don’t be these people.

 - There was the suave motherfucker, who tried to pick up on every woman younger than him. He was a handsome man, with Ted Bundy charisma. He’d walk around the corner of the stone area, and try to ‘run into’ his target. He’d do some bullshit PUA move to secure the woman’s Facebook info. He marketed himself as some kind of spiritual guru, but he always pissed all of us off. His particular brand of bullshit was super obvious to us veterans of festivals and public ritual. We constantly tried to run interference. My boss was savage, she would just walk up to the woman and him and tell him she didn’t want to talk to him, and maybe he should go finalize his (usually very small or non-existent) purchase. So many people got taken in my him. I don’t know what ever happened to him.

- There was the blind man who sexually harassed me, who was so taken with the sound of my voice over the phone that he told me (someone half his age) that he would like to ride me, and test my strength. He then would come in to buy his herbs and ask for me. Since he only knew my voice, I would hide in the back, and my boss would tell him I was gone for the day. He came in to ask for my schedule so he could come back and see if I was interested. I used to see him on the bus, but he never noticed me.

- There was the man who, seeing I was wearing a metal T-shirt, advised me that wearing that meant I wanted him to bend me over and fuck me in the ass. I kicked his ass out and banned him. Fuck off.

- There was the woman who borderline stalked all of the staff on Facebook. She would send friend requests once a week. I eventually had to block her, because it got borderline creepy.

- There was the man who advised me loudly that Beltane was a German holiday, and that they still sacrificed people to the fires. Really, sir? I’m pretty sure if Gunther or Hedwig didn’t come home from the Beltane fires, that would be in the news. 

- There was the woman, who on my third day on the job, told me that prior to chakra therapy she had a lot of vaginal dryness, but now she’s just gushing. All the time. And she went into great detail. Madam, I don’t recall the M.D after my name. I don’t need the wet, slick details. I work in a bookstore, not a gyno office.

- There was the woman who sang all the time. ALL. THE TIME. She would go around, and regardless of what was going on, she would sing. Loudly. Sometimes she would add interpretive dance. I get being taken in by the energy of a place, but there is a time and place. Don’t perform your ecstatic dance in the middle of my store, because it’s rude to all the people who came into the store not expecting your energy radiating all over the damn place. Plus, there are tarot readings going on at the back. Keep it down!

- There was the woman, who was the head of a local pagan group, asking if she could pay for prominent placement on our cork board of events, for her group’s ritual. She would constantly kick a stink up if we didn’t put it up in the middle of the board, regardless of what was there (including our own classes and events). My boss was flabbergasted. She also came in and allowed her small child to run around unchecked. She drove me fucking nuts. The woman turned out to be a massive white supremacist, so I don’t feel bad for often placing her flyer passive-aggressively at the bottom of the wall in the overflow area.

- Lastly, there was the large family of 1 mother and 7 children who came in. They started handling the fragile things, even with multiple signs up asking to ask for assistance. When I asked her not to allow the children to handle the fragile items as they may break, she stopped in place. She very slowly turned toward me, looking startled, and replied that I had now said it, so I would be at fault for it happening. Uh wut. Hard nope, lady. Eventually had to ask her to leave.

Retail workers in your local shops are generally not the following: doctors, therapists, probation officers, babysitters, libraries, or lawyers. Please behave like an adult. While generally alternative spirituality leads to alternative customers, it’s not an excuse to behave as strangely, abusively, or creepily as possible. Just don’t. Proprietors are often small business owners and often overworked. They barely have time to respond to emails, they are not in it for your bullshit.

There are more stories, of course. There were bad coworkers. The coworker who was legit unbalanced, tried to get me fired (backfired, as I was not fucking unbalanced) and left her husband and child to be with her online lover. The one who tried to start a shitload of drama and then quit via text message. The one who tried to constantly smack talk another worker so she would get more shifts (which didn’t work). The cranky tarot reader who got mad at me when I had a cold. The crazy reader who lost her shit at me on the phone, tried to get me fired, and then called in sick all the time at the last minute. 

There were also great stories; the dedicated workers we did have who put their heart and soul into what amounted to a retail job. The weekly customers who were a joy to talk to. The readers who had their regular customers. The joy expressed by so so many people at the shop’s very existence. The satisfaction I felt every single time someone told me I had helped them or made a difference.That is what made the job worth it.

[whereisvanderwood]

Red Rose, Green Rose.

Yona of the Dawn | Akatsuki no Yona

Jeaha x Princess!Reader - Christmas ! AU

My Yona of the Dawn x Reader List for more one-shots! Check it out!

Young snowflakes floated onto the cold, hard ground of the castle courtyards. A girl, strolled among the castle grounds and saw that many a servants were busy hanging all kinds of decorations, coloured lights and tinsel of the sort; Christmas time was approaching.

Soo-won, the rightful leader of the Kouka kingdom and Hiryuu castle, had very suddenly handed the duties of being a ruler over to the closest person he knew, (Y/N). He believed it was necessary to venture further out of the kingdom and scout the area with his men, in case he was in fact to see the tragically deceased, Princess Yona and her bodyguard Hak.

There wasn't much (Y/N) had to do, as she was just filling in for a friend. Despite this fact, however, word got around quickly to all the villages. The truth was soon morphed into rumours that she was an entirely new ruler, and Soo-won forfeit his position as king. This news had reached to all kinds of locations, including Awa; home of the green dragon.

"Jae-ha, ya snot nosed brat, get o'er here!" barked the lady of the very well known pirate crew, Captain Gi-gan. Jae-ha, taking his sweet time, casually strolled through the snow-covered deck to his beloved captain.

"You've finally agreed to take me out to dinner, haven't you? I knew you'd give in soon enough cap, a Christmas dinner always gets the lad-"

"Oh put a cork in it, ya pervert," she interrupted, clearly not wanting to put up with more of his ridiculous flirting. "I was going to ask you if ya heard of the new ruler?"

"..If you are referring to that kid Soo-won, then yes. I have."

"No. A new ruler, not Soo-won." Jae-ha, utterly confused as to why there would be a new ruler so recently after the coronation of new king, made him begin to think that something suspicious was going on.

"Do you want me to do somethin' about it, or what?" he asked Gi-gan, becoming slightly impatient.

"I want you to go check it out; it doesn't seem right that something like that would happen so suddenly." Jae-ha paused for a while and stared out at the beautiful sea, wondering whom the new ruler could be, until Gi-gan snapped at him again. "Get outta here already! I don't need you hanging 'round here anymore."

With a heavy sigh, but a cheesy smile, he replied with an "Aye aye, captain," before bounding into the endless blue atmosphere. With every rest he took, he gazed at the settling snow in the villages. Some hated the weather very much, whereas others were seizing the opportunity as a way to share the Christmas spirit with one another. It made him happy to see at least a few villages in good spirits, for he was too.

Upon finally arriving at Hiryuu castle, Jae-ha knew he had to remain undercover. He walked along the high walls and rooftops, where no guards would look due to their strenuous tasks of decorating. He sat on a rooftop where he had the perfect view of the working servants and guards. He was about to stand and finish the task Gi-gan had asked of him, until he heard a voice.

"Don't hurt yourselves please! This all looks incredible!" Jae-ha looked around to see where the voice was coming from. Due to the voice belonging to that of a young maiden, he was instantly attracted. He smiled like he always does when he thinks "happy thoughts."

"Thank you, Princess (Y/N)," the guards thanked in reply. He continued to look but could not see from his current place, so he jumped on top of the railing that circled the courtyard. There, he looked down and most definitely saw someone that would be considered royalty.

The girl had beautiful, unique dark red hair that glittered with the dancing snowflakes. She wore a magnificent hair ornament that represented Christmas itself, with a holly and the traditional colours of the occasion standing out. Her voice sounded like a symphony of strings, but would turn into the lovely sound of a butterfly's wings. Jae-ha was mesmerised, not like he was with every other girl he had ever met; this one felt different to him.

"Forgive me, your highness, but with Lord Soo-won absent during this time, what are we to do?" questioned one of the guards that were supervising the men decorating.

"Well, he told me not to worry about doing too many things as a princess, for now. But because I am the princess, for now, I say that we will all celebrate the joy of Christmas!" the new ruler excitedly exclaimed. Jae-ha smiled, giggling at her great enthusiasm.

Her head had suddenly turned in his direction, and he took that as his cue to return to his captain and crew in Awa.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"So? What's she like?" Gi-gan interrogated him, rather than asking him normally. "Well? Spit it out ya good-for-nothing pirate!" Jae-ha had to think for a moment, and find the right words to describe her.

"Well, she's... oh my, it would seem that I am at a loss for words! How embarrassing..."

"Ah, cut it out Jae-ha. The last thing that girl needs is someone who spies on her all the time, just so you can dream about her good looks," one of the pirates on board complained.

Oh believe me my friends, she is no ordinary one.

The sun began to set, and the decorations the citizens of Awa would set up began to illuminate with a great beauty. As he scanned the town from a rooftop, he noticed that one door had a hanging wreath that looked like a giant holly, very similar to what the new princess was wearing.

That night, as it was 2 days before Christmas, most people began to celebrate and party, despite the sadness and poverty that loomed throughout the entire town of Awa. Jae-ha was slightly surprised by this, and found it difficult to sleep. And so, he decided to make a journey.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Princess (Y/N) was also staying up late, but appeared to be one of the few who did the same in the castle. Earlier that day, she thought she felt someone watching her. Being the friendly soul she was, she wanted to turn around and greet them, but no one was there. Her mind was racing, thinking that her mind was just playing tricks on her, or that perhaps someone really was there.

(Y/N) lay in her bed, and gazed out the window of the still falling snow. It was a cold night; the perfect theme for Christmas. Deciding that it was no use in trying to have a good night's rest, she arose, put on her favourite winter cloak, and walked along the balconies, saying hello to the guards who were awake.

Out of the castle walls, she could hear bells ringing and people telling tales of Santa Clause. She walked around a particular corner and just stood there, staring out into the beautifully lit country out in front of her, whether it is the sky of night or the coloured lights.

(Y/N) noticed that these past few days, she'd been feeling lonely. She didn't have many friends, and whilst she is ruling, she isn't permitted to leave the castle to see the people she was a friend to. Slowly, as time passed looking out, she began to feel trapped. She chuckled sadly to herself.

"And here I thought that being a princess was an honour. Turns out it's just not that beautiful in the end..." She suddenly heard footsteps on the roofing above her. Slightly afraid that it was an intruder, she hurried back to her quarters.

(Y/N) quickly closed the bedroom doors, and her eyes immediately rested on something carefully placed on her window, which she could've sworn she left closed. Approaching her window, she saw that it was a beautiful, vibrant green rose with tiny snowflakes rested atop each petal. She didn't think they could still be found these days. Under the flower was a note attached.

A rose for the girl with hair as red as blood, who is even more beautiful than a princess.

(Y/N) smiled at the unexpected gift, as she smelt its scent. She knew that someone was there today, and she could tell that this stranger, deep down, had a very kind heart. (Y/N) found a nearby empty vase and delicately placed the rose inside, putting the vase along the same window she found it. After that, she fell into a deep, dreamy sleep.

Christmas Eve had arrived just as soon as the morning sun, and (Y/N) was reminded that Soo-won would be returning on Christmas day. Ever happy that Christmas was only the next day, (Y/N) decided that she wanted to look even better than she did yesterday.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back in Awa, spirits were even brighter than the night before. The snow had finally stopped falling, and covered the ground in a powdery white. Even the ocean had been frozen over from snowfall.

"Well fellas, looks like we ain't sailin' today."

All the pirates groaned, disappointed. "But I wanted to catch some fish for tomorrow!"

"Well it ain't my fault the water is a frozen Popsicle! Why don't you girls all go into town and get somethin' nice for ya selves."

With heavy moans and low motivation, they all responded with "Aye aye, captain." Jae-ha was about to accompany them, when Gi-gan held him back.

"Sneaking around with the ladies last night, were you?" Jae-ha didn't realise he had been so careless with sneaking out, but he kept a straight face.

"Ah, you know me too well captain, but even I wouldn't do that so late in the night. There are bad people walking around you know."

"You are so funny Jae-ha, really," Gi-gan said as she finished carving something with her dagger. "Anyway, word's gotten 'round that kid king Soo-won is comin' back-"

"Again? What's going on at that crazy castle anyway? Kid doesn't even know what he's doing."

"... I just had a thought. That kid became king because that other guy, King Il, died. Do ya think maybe the same thing happened to that newbie princess?" Gi-gan turned to look at Jae-ha and hear his thoughts, but saw that he wasn't even there anymore.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dead? Not while the green dragon is around.

Jae-ha bound from tree to tree, making his way back to Hiryuu castle. After knowing where his captain was going to take the conversation, he didn't want to hear the rest of it. But he had his heart set on going to the castle, because Captain Gi-gan did have a point.

He jumped onto the same roof he was on the previous night, and scanned the castle grounds. Jae-ha began to grow worried that she was nowhere to be found, but was instantly relieved when he recognised the familiar hair. He huffed, and jumped to a different place closer to the girl.

She was strolling in the courtyard by herself, admiring the well-decorated trees and picking a beautiful dark red rose. She decided to pin the rose onto her cloak as she explored some more. She laughed and did a few twirls in the snow beneath her shoes. Jae-ha noticed something when she would do her spins. He saw that she was wearing the green rose in her hair. He smiled, and sat down as he continued to admire.

"Princess (Y/N)!" a sudden voice called out from nowhere. Soon after there was a servant making his way towards the girl, letter in hand.

(Y/N). So that's her name, is it?"

"A letter from Lord Soo-won, your highness." (Y/N) thanked him kindly whilst smiling, and opened the letter.

She sat down on a nearby bench as she read. Jae-ha was curious about what she was reading, and became even more so when the princess scrunched up the paper, and threw it out in front of her. (Y/N) then hastily stormed her way out of the snow garden, and back deep within the castle.

Jae-ha believed her to be upset, and his suspicions were confirmed when he would hear guards asking the princess if she was all right as she strode past them. She opened two big doors, and went inside. Jae-ha figured that was all he was going to see of his blood-red princess that day.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Night fell, the moon rose, and (Y/N) couldn't feel any more miserable. The letter she had received early that morning was Soo-won giving her an extended reign, as he and his men had "run into some unfortunate complications." (Y/N) didn't want to be here anymore. It meant that she would have to spend Christmas in the castle grounds, without her family and friends. Soo-won said in the letter that this had to be so, for the people would riot if they had no ruler.

(Y/N) cried softly to herself as she began to miss her own home. Then, as if it were in her own head, the sound of a beautiful instrument began to fill the air with it's soothing tune. She lifted her head and looked to her open window, where another note was placed. She sat up and read the small piece of paper.

A lullaby for the girl with a broken heart, to help her sleep at night.

(Y/N) sat up on the end of her bed and closed her eyes as she let herself drown in the beauty of the instrument she recognised as an erhu. Before she drifted anymore, her mind quickly changed to wanting to find the source of the music.

(Y/N) put on her cloak she wore that same day, and climbed out of the window onto the balcony. She looked up and could tell that the music coming from on top of the roof. She spotted a way to start climbing up by grabbing onto ledges, and began to make her way up. She hoped no one could see her.

The music grew louder and louder the more she would climb. Eventually, she was high enough to peek her head over the top. (Y/N) saw a man with long green hair, sitting cross-legged with his back turned, playing his erhu. (Y/N) hoisted herself up using her arms, and carefully walked towards and sat next to the mysterious stranger.

"Quite the climber, aren't you?" he spoke suddenly as he kept on playing. "You're lucky, a lot of girls would kill to be in this situation right now." (Y/N) jumped a little at the sudden voice, but relaxed soon after. She knew there was nothing to be afraid of.

"Tell me, what's a beautiful lady like you crying tears for?" he questioned, completely out of the blue. (Y/N) blushed at his comment, for she was always self-conscious about her hair. But she looked at the stranger's hair, and wondered what she was self-conscious for.

"...I just want to get out of here, that's all," she quietly replied. She thought back to the notes left for her and the rose she had received these past nights. "Are you the one who gave me the rose?"

"Indeed I am. Jae-ha, at your service your majesty," he introduced and bowed his head and looked at (Y/N).

"I'm (Y/N)," she introduced with bowing her head in reply. They shared a brief smile with each other, before she started conversation.

"Why are you doing this for me, Jae-ha?"

"Well you know, the true spirit of Christmas is all about giving. I'm just giving you things to be happy about, since you don't look too happy."

"...Thank you."

Jae-ha stopped playing as he became a little more serious. "So... what was in that letter you read?"

"You saw that?"

"Indeed I did. I also saw you hurry back to your quarters afterwards. Is there something troubling you milady?"

"Well... I'm not actually the ruler of this castle, let alone the kingdom of Kouka. I'm just taking my friend Soo-won's place while he is gone. He was meant to be returning tomorrow, but I was told I need to remain as princess for a while longer."

"And you're not happy about that?"

"Of course not. I thought being a princess would be great and an honour, but in the end it's just-"

"Not that beautiful?" Jeaha finished her sentence. (Y/N) looked at him, stunned that he knew what he was going to say. He smiled brightly to her. "Trust me, you're far more beautiful than a princess." A bit embarrassed, (Y/N) looked down and noticed that the red rose from the garden was still pinned to her clothing.

Jeaha was about to start playing his erhu again, when he saw (Y/N) holding something out to him from the corner of his eye. The rose was the same colour as her hair; much like how the rose he gave her was the same as his own.

"A rose for the boy with hair as green as nature's beauty, who is even more giving than Christmas itself," she grinned widely.

Jae-ha, knowing full well that he was love-struck, took the rose gratefully and kissed (Y/N) on her forehead. He looked at her eyes and at first they were confused, but changed to eyes of joy.

(Y/N) shifted closer to Jae-ha, and rested her head on his shoulder. Loud bells echoed from a distance, signalling that it was midnight. Lots of guards and servants below the two were shouting "Merry Christmas!"

"Hey, Jae-ha? Play me a song." Putting some thought into it, Jae-ha started playing a well-known Christmas carol on his erhu, playing for everyone in the castle grounds to hear. Jae-ha and (Y/N) looked out at the breath-taking sights of christmas, their red and green hair, the colours of christmas, blowing in the cold wind.

After a long time, Jae-ha saw that (Y/N) had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He laughed to himself, how easily he could fall in love with a stranger in so little time. Maybe it was destiny.

"Merry Christmas, your highness."

My Yona of the Dawn x Reader List for more one-shots! Check it out!