#convex:aug20

[rktaeyong]

━━━━━━━ don’t wanna cry mv wrap-up ( 𝐜𝐯𝐱*𝐬𝐜𝐡 : 𝐀𝐔𝐆𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 ) ࿐ ࿔*:･ ( 𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟷𝟺𝚝𝚑: LAX ✈️ IIA )

they’ve finally wrapped up filming, and convex is heading back to korea — taeyong sits in his seat, claiming a spot next to the window so he can stare wistfully out of it, like the main character at the end of a coming-of-age film.

it’s not much of a joke — it’s completely serious. reflecting back on his brief time back in his home state of california, as he looks out into the pacific ocean from the comfort of a korean air flight back to seoul, taeyong feels a rush of emotions course through his body. feeling the summer sun warm his skin once again had brought back memories that he completely forgot about, the good and bad times. he remembers the summer vacations he would take with his family, preferring to drive down to take in every single view worth seeing down the coast — stuffy eight-hour drives in a cramped car made better by looking out the window, staring at how the waves of the ocean crash against the coastline, just as he’s doing now.

he’s changed since then — for the better, he hopes.

taeyong looks to the window opposite from his own, on the other side of the plane — he can somewhat see the expanse of los angeles getting smaller and smaller in the distance. the screen in front of him displays the estimated time of arrival, and he mentally braces himself for a ten-plus hour flight. he has his hood up, a pillow wrapped around his neck — some of his members are already asleep, and he decides against taking embarrassing photos of them to maybe post on the fancafe. he’s not done reflecting just yet — mischief can come later, maybe nine hours into the flight, when he’s had his own nap.

the flight reminds him of the flight he took when he moved to korea — he had sat right next to the window back then also, almost an entire decade ago. weird to think that it’s almost been ten years since he’s moved to korea and found himself, found what he’s supposed to be doing after being so lost — that it’s been almost been ten years since he’s been back in the states and felt that lost. sounds cliché, but he’s glad that he’s come back and is leaving a completely different person than before.

ten years ago, he was alone — he remembers looking out of the window, afraid of what was to come but ready to start anew, to have agency over his own life, to feel like he belongs somewhere that isn’t there. he couldn’t have predicted any of this to happen to him, that he would even get a shot at a dream that seemed so far away.

now, he’s living that dream, surrounded by people who make him feel like he belongs somewhere, like he knows what he’s supposed to be doing in life instead of having to search with no result. he looks around once more and sees brothers — family members whose presence he’ll always cherish, who he shares memories with, both new and old.

taeyong closes his eyes, thinking back to how he felt back in the desert — the harsh summer sun beat down on them, the rigorous nature of having to be completely synchronized while withstanding the elements. he felt strong enough to endure it, because he knows that he has people to support him if he ever falls down. he had tried his best not to falter —  and that’s the difference of him ten years ago and him now. he wouldn’t have tried as hard, he would have given up.

he falls asleep looking at the ocean, continuing to think about how much this trip really meant to him, what this all really means to him. maybe this is what he needed — he didn’t know he needed this, but maybe this is what he needed.

[rkharu]

「 FLOWERS IN THE DESERT 」

desert, they were going to the desert-- jaehyun looked out the car window and watched the landscape change from the big city to more and more abandoned and empty. once at the filming location he looked outside then at his own outfit and even if it was early in the morning the sun was out, it would be warm dancing with long sleeves in the desert. jaehyun wrinkled his nose slightly as he exited the car.

jaehyun wanted to avoid rubbing his eyes and ruin the make up-- but it was difficult to do when he was feeling as tired as he felt. he walked aimlessly from the car and to the destination that the filming crew had scouted out for them, the sun was bright even though it was so early in the morning and he was wearing a long-sleeved sweater. one of the staff had given him a small hand-held fan that ran on batteries, he held it tightly in his hand.

looking around with squinted eyes he spotted one of the older members-- hyun, who didn't have a fan like him and jaehyun walked over to him and lifted the fan and turned it on, "aren't you warm hyung?" he asks, while standing out in the direct sunlight not even noticing the staff members flailing behind him looking around for the sunscreen.

a starter for  @rkhyun

[rklandon]

░▐ ★_2020년 8월 28일 、 FRESH AND CLEAN   

personally, he isn’t much of a perfume or cologne aficionado. at the most, he knows the princess knows of the best and priciest, if you ask him, ones. he knows that chanyeol uses an expensive one too and that hoseok choked on air when he found out the price. this, though, is different. 

when he learns of the opportunity, he spends the day thinking about what perfume ads look like. he can’t remember seeing them when he tries to remember and yet when he looks them up, he realizes he’s seen more than he thought. it reminds him of previous opportunities some of the members had and modeling for one seems harder than speaking of it. 

his thoughts drift to why him over the clear models of the group but he loves the opportunity, thinks it’s fun that he’ll be able to bring some home so throughout the photoshoot, he finds himself asking questions about scents, trying to remember what he’d looked up on each one though it’s for a newer one that he’s taking photos for from what he can tell. 

top notes, base notes, it all intrigues him as each spray wafts in the air when he tries them himself. the scents themselves are just as the brand name implies and he finds it interesting how many things it claims. even the packaging is clean and he questions if he has a clean image. for his character on entertainer, he hopes so and that might match most of all, his character and this image for the perfume. 

trying to pick out his favorite is more difficult than expected and it’s the appeal of the cleanness of the brand. maybe he’ll ask each member to pick a favorite too. in that, he hopes convex has a clean image over all, from sharp dancing to boyfriend like images from each member. that suits them too, right? 

a group promotion like this . . . now that sounds amazing. 

[rkxroyal]

scene change,

@seonghwark

he's always excited when they travel. it only adds onto the positives woohyun finds with idol life-- getting to go to different places for different things; los angeles is entirely new, and he's excited. he can't help but babble and ramble throughout their journey to the states. even the trip from the airport to their hotel, woohyun's eyes were glued on their surroundings. taking in everything and anything he could in the short amount of time they're here for.

he's using a towel to dry his hair, idling on one of the hotel beds. they've got a long day of filming tomorrow, and he's thinking about how everything will go with it. he's in good spirits, humming a song he heard on the radio under his breath. letting out a sigh, he drapes the towel around his shoulders, raking a hand through his hair. turning his head, he shoots a smile at seonghwa. "have you been to the states before?" he fiddles with the ends of the towel, shifting idly. "we haven't seen much, but the scenery looked so nice...i can't wait to film." he trails off in a murmur, smiling to himself.

[rkohsehun]

convex august schedule: a trip to los angeles, california august 10 ~ 13, 2020

an overseas trip is always fun, and knowing they’re going to shoot some parts of their comeback album in a different country is like the sweetest cherry on top. of course, thoughts of getting a chance to explore the place when they finish their schedules are there (he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think of that). he wants to buy a lot stuff to bring back home. but for now, he’s excited for their music video shoot.

sehun wasn’t lying when he said this album is a little different to their previous ones. this one seem softer - the concept itself is softer - and more mellow. it’s one of the main reasons for his previous worries at the start of their preparations. there were less opportunities to rap, and he’s challenged into singing more than he’s ready for. but he’s glad he’s able to do it successfully, he’s continuously learning and growing. sometimes, everything still feels too surreal. but then the commotion of the production team and managers hits him and okay, wow, it’s still real.

at some point, sehun briefly wonders if mellow, sad songs prompts the singer to wear soft knitted or long sleeved tops in nude colors. it seems to be a trend somehow like those albums released during autumn. but isn’t it summer? nonetheless, he enjoys the rather airy clothes they have on. it’s close to a style he personally likes, so he isn’t in the slightest bit complaining. it’s tricky, however, to shoot on a place with too much sand, but it’s also fun. the sand goes into everything - in his hair, inside his clothes, and mostly in his eyes because the wind. the stylists are probably having a hard time too because he tears up a lot when the something gets in his eyes.

it turns out better than he expected, though. as he joins the others in monitoring their shoot, he’s happy to see how everything looks picturesque. and it’s not even edited yet. sehun feels proud with how beautiful the choreography shots look, their synchronized movements a little addictive to watch, personally speaking. everyone was obviously in a good mood while they were recording, and it shows. even the concept images look stunning to him. or maybe it’s just him being a little biased. all of their hard work in preparing for this comeback comes down to this, and he most definitely likes how this album is turning out.

sehun wishes the fans would give this album as much love and support as they had done in their previous albums. he can’t help but look forward to everyone’s reaction. there’s growth, if he’s going to be honest, in their overall style and music and sehun, being the soft kid that he is, somehow feels proud of that fact.

[seungcheolrk]

me after you.

august 18th, 2020: flowering silky fowl singing ‘me after you’ on king of masked singer. episode to air september 6th, 2020 ahead of convex’s comeback.

this has been his dream since before convex was even imagined, before he even signed to sphere. perhaps it had started in the days when he would encompass the very concept of the show, hiding his identity from his viewers on youtube. the moment he hears the news, he can feel the tears building in the corner of his eyes. he hasn’t had much chance to sing with convex so far, and he would be content with these couple lines here and there being the extent of it being able to do this. even just one round... it’s a dream come true. 

he’s so nervous behind the scenes, before beginning filming. the staff have already been through everything with him a million times, but his heart is pounding regardless. will he give himself away? will consta recognise his mannerisms or the tone of his voice? he always sees idol panelists on this show pick out other idols in moments from the way they present themselves, will he give himself away a little like that, too? but he already knows it isn’t worth worrying too much about his hidden identity. today is about his vocals, about his love of singing and getting that little bit of recognition for it that would make his heart swell larger than his chest can handle. 

his song for today, his duet for the first round, had been chosen for him, but he doesn’t have a single complaint. since the release of heartz’ ‘let me in’, he’d been listening to almost exclusively ballads alongside convex’s upcoming album. paul kim’s ‘me after you’ is a beautiful choice and the more he thinks about it, he knows he wouldn’t have found anything himself that would feel as natural. if he picked himself for this first appearance, he would have spent more time worrying that it wasn’t the best choice than actually practising it. 

when he’s up on stage, the lights feel warm. he’s covered almost head to toe, mask over his head and body somewhat disguised just in case. there’s some fans out there that can tell their favourite group’s members by the slope of their shoulders, the location of their moles, or something equally as ridiculous, so though he isn’t too used to the slightly more formal shirt and blazer they have him in, he supposes it’s better to be safe than sorry. but all of that is in the back of his mind when the piano intro begins, because he starts the song with a gentle low tone and his eyes are fluttering closed and all of this is so very real and totally not a dream despite how high above the clouds his heart feels. 

너를 만난 그 이후로 사소한 변화들에 행복해져 눈이 부시게 빛 나는 아침 너를 떠올리며 눈 뜨는 하루

his partner, or technically competition, is so incredibly talented, too. seungcheol feels so honoured to be here without factoring in that he’s getting to share the stage with such a beautiful voice, sing with them, even. what warms his heart most is that neither of them sound as if they’re attempting to out-sing the other despite a looming elimination. 

별것 아닌 일에 맘이 통할 때면 익숙해진 서로가 놀라웠어 널 사랑해

for now, they only go back and forth between portions of the verses or the chorus. it’s a slightly different vibe to the original, starts a bit more powerful. seungcheol, again, can’t complain, because as much as he loves the soft tones of the original, he feels more confident making it a little his own. even when he used to post covers on youtube, before and after signing to sphere, he would remake his instrumentals to shift tones, paces and pitches to more closely match his style and strengths. he isn’t one to stay within his comfort zone ( at least musically ), but to him, there’s as much talent in making a sing your own as there is in matching the intended and initial emotion when it’s not your usual style. not to mention, there’s two of them in this cover — two people’s vocals to let shine, perhaps this had been the middle ground the producers felt would fit them both best. after all, a good show is one where you just can’t pick who to root for. 

너를 만나 참 행복했어 나 이토록 사랑할 수 있었던 건 아직 어리고 모자란 내 맘 따뜻한 이해로 다 안아줘서

his heart is still pounding half way through, his palms sweaty against the mic. however, he sings with passion, with all the excitement he’s held over the many years he’s hoped to do this, with all the joy singing brings him. he’ll always love rap and he’ll always be proud to be a rapper, for convex and otherwise, but singing had been his childhood love; one of the things that helped bring him and his father closer together. it’ll always hold a special place in his heart and though the love song they’re singing today is for a human lover, he thinks of all of that warmth and happiness as he performs. he thinks of convex, of how proud they’d been of him hearing his practised songs to help him along the way — of his parents, that won’t know he’s here until the episode airs and his voice fills their living room again for the first time in a while. 

불안한 지금이라도 영원하고 싶다고 너를 바라보다 생각했어

the bridge comes around so fast; it feels too soon for all of this to end. the song is a healthy five minutes almost, but he feels like he’s only been here thirty seconds despite the intro alone being half of that already. the back and forth of the lines, joining for the spectacular finish of the verse is his second favourite of the entire performance. 

뜨거웠던 여름 지나

he glances at his duet partner. 

하나 둘 수줍어 또 얼굴 붉히면

then, turns completely towards him as he falls into the higher pitch for their harmony. he faces forward again for his final chorus immediately after, giving it everything he possibly can to go out with pride and passion. perhaps it’s cliche to say so, but he loves every second, feels every second. this moment feels like everything so far had been worth it, like he finally belongs on a stage, can finally stand beside his group with his head held high. if he can do this, he can do anything. if he can go home today having made everyone proud, he can stand with convex next month for their comeback knowing that he’s proved, most importantly to himself, that he deserves to. 

우리 함께 걸어가기로 해

still, it’s bittersweet that it’s ending so soon. but, who says this is the end? even if he’s eliminated after this, he still gets to sing a goodbye solo. he’ll still sing again. his heart feels light, happy. 

나를 만나 너도 행복하니 못 해준 게 더 많아서 미안해 이기적이고 불안한 내가 너에게만은 잘하고 싶었어

maybe it’s a good thing no one can see him, see the tears catching once again in the corners of his eyes. 

너를 만나

[rklandon]

░▐ ★_2020년 8월 10일 、 FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING 

it isn’t his first time traveling to the states but it is the first with his group members, on his own without the meng family, and it seems surreal even as they get the airport. they go through the typical motions and when he picks up his bag again after they finish at security, he wonders if he should call his grandmother first. his wishes for her were once simpler. bring her to korea with him and buy her a house of her own. now, he realizes he has grander desires. take her traveling, see all the things she couldn’t do in her own lifetime with his grandfather and child. 

he has questions of his own, of course, that he’d love to ask her but he held back all those years in case it was too much. now, he understands he’s the one it would’ve been too much for, that he didn’t want those answers most of the time, didn’t know how to handle hearing about someone who couldn’t keep him. 

does he see him now? does he know that it’s him? but something makes him believe that his career wouldn’t be approved of either, even if his grandmother has never discouraged him from whatever his heart wants. hoseok is the one who holds himself back in the end, even with people. 

looking to the group members, he notes that he must be holding back with them too. that they’re family but he’s just as secretly reserved with them too. lasting connections that don’t go as deep as they could. 

how much longer can that continue? so, for now, he fidgets with his passport, how it’s different from some of theirs, and he takes a deep breath as they take a few seats before boarding. will jinwook be okay for the long flight? ah, that’s right. it’s also one of the longest flights he’s taken in a while. if he falls asleep on the plane, he wonders how much will change in waking up? 

[rkharu]

「 PICTURE TIME 」

it was the last schedule they had for the day, the photoshoot for their comeback-- jaehyun found a mirror and made sure that he actually looked alright. the feeling of preparing for a comeback was still new, even though he had filmed the mv for pretty u -- don't wanna cry was different, it had more choreo in it so overall he felt more tired than while filming pretty u. jaehyun looked as the other members got their picture taken before his eyes landed on sehun.

sehun and him were roommates in korea but here-- they weren't and to jaehyun that did feel a little weird. so he made his way over to the older, "hyung," he said in a somewhat whiny tone ( which was unusual for him ), then when he was next to sehun he glanced back at the members getting their pictures taken, "why does it feel like we haven't talked in a while?"

it did make sense in his head, jaehyun who was used to seeing sehun around, now couldn't help but feeling a little lonely when he wasn't around as much. which was inherently a good thing because it did force him to socialize with the others more.

a starter for  @rkohsehun

[rklandon]

░▐ ★_2020년 8월 12일 、 SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS 

the location reminds him of another in their last mv but this one is much more terrifying. he didn’t think he had a fear of heights but looking over the city from this high is more nerve-wrecking than he expected to feel when he heard about it. 

but the overhead shots must look amazing and he puts the visuals first, thinks of how it’ll look, of how their fans will react, and he can do anything really once he thinks of their consta. 

he believes this yet when they’re done, he calls his grandmother first, tells her about it with slightly shaking hands and finds relief in when she praises him for it. for being scared and exceeding through it the way she knows he did. she’s praised his dancing before, even his singing by now, but when she praises him for being a good grandson and a good person, hoseok truly feels it. how much he loves his grandmother most in the world. no matter what his feelings were for the princess too, his grandmother is first. 

ah, might be why he considers baek jiyoung’s opinion too. gotta love a strong maternal figure, right? 

when he goes back to the group. to continuing their lunch break together, he’s calmer, more comfortable. he owes that much to them too, that he can feel vulnerable but not weak. because he knows if he went to one of them instead of calling his grandmother, they would’ve comforted him too. but he wants that connection to her now more than ever. as he continues to go places in life without her to go home to or to see him in person. 

one day, he tells himself. 

one day, he’ll be able to introduce each of them to her too and, if he could, he’d introduce the members who left too. every person who’s left an imprint on his heart.

[rklandon]

░▐ ★_2020년 8월 10일 、 DIVISION  

when they land in the united states, in california, hoseok underestimate how hot it would be. when the sun hits them, he feels his forearms burning from exposure and he’s relieved to reach the hotel. 

that is, til he notices that room division is easier with one less member and he comes back full circle. nothing changed at all from the flight, did it? he comes right back to that within moments and he stretches his neck with a deep breath. but still they’re filming a mv abroad. doesn’t that speak of how much baek jiyoung believes in them? how much she wants to put into their development and careers? 

how can he be sad when he thinks of that? 

one of the first things he does is text chanyeol, ask him a few more things about california and joke that he should’ve been better warned about the heat. it’s not like a seoul summer. it’s far more dry and he drinks more water at the thought of it. 

his mind is still on the choreography for the music video and he wonders what sets they’ll be using. how hot it’ll be when they’re dancing for hours and he looks at each member with mild concern. would they all be okay? 

so that night, his thoughts are focused on hoping for the safety of all of them for the mv filming, that there will be enough shade and rest, water and food. for now, he really wants to look around the area but there’s another thing in the back of his mind. the filming he’s missing for the show. it reminds him to send a few encouraging texts to the numbers he does have for those filming with him and some of the staff, apologizing to the director for taking time away so they have to accommodate him but that’s what scheduling is for, right? 

[rklandon]

░▐ ★_2020년 8월 5일 、 CRAZY IN LOVE

another comeback, another choreography— getting the choreo for their b-side this come around reminds him of the fondness for their last b-side track and his own involvement. how upbeat it is reminds him of their versatility and how different it is from the vibe of their title track. the synchronicity is one of its highlights and he hopes that it becomes one of their defining features as a group, if it isn’t already.

the news is bound to be officially made sometime this month before the comeback itself and he isn’t looking forward to it, to the reaction and aftermath. he can only hope it won’t be as chaotic as the first time they lost a member, that it’ll be the last time again.

throwing all of his energy into memorizing each part, every member’s changes just so he can offer a guiding hand if need be, so he can monitor and make comments as they go, he’s reminded of why he prefers overworking himself, keeping his mind busy. there’s no time to be sad and it’s just like their new title track says, don’t wanna cry.

how long has he told himself not to shed tears for other people when there’s so much life to live? so that he wouldn’t be wrapped up in his own past, in the people he’s lost before even getting a chance to remember them? in glimpses and fleeting images of a childhood with someone who didn’t want him. those kind of memories, he leaves behind in lieu of happier ones and he wants to do the same this time around. again and again. as many times as he has to in order to move on.

because if there’s anything his childhood taught him, if there’s anything life has taught him time and time again, it’s that life goes on with or without you. the next course of action you take is the most important from then on.

[rkxroyal]

sweet & special,

backdated to august 8th, 2020 ; @seungcheolrk

they're in the swing of preparations, but woohyun refuses to let himself forget about the birthdays of his fellow members. the second birthday of the month falls on the eighth, with seungcheol as the lucky one. unfortunately, woohyun doesn't have a lot of time to properly gift hunt for the other-- so instead, he takes a quick trip in the later afternoon to a bakery, getting a small, simple little cake. he makes a mental note to make it up for the other and gift him something a bit more special.

with the small cake boxed and bagged, hanging off his arm, he digs out his phone so he can type out a quick message to seungcheol. he knows the other is working on something else along with their comeback preparations, and likely returned back to the company after his fanmeeting. woohyun bites his lip, fingers hesitating over the screen. he hopes seungcheol isn't busy with something. if so, he'll just refrigerate it until seungcheol has a moment.

( sms // seungcheollie ) cheol-ah~~~ our precious birthday boy ~~ ( sms // seungcheollie ) are you back at sphere? ( sms // seungcheollie ) i've got something for you~ ( sms // seungcheollie ) it's a sweet treat ~~

[rkharu]

「 LA EXPLORATIONS 」

having a day to themselves after filming the music video felt nice-- even though he still felt a little jet-lagged he didn't refuse when seunghceol had wanted to go out and explore. jaehyun had never been in LA for leisure, so he figured he'd take the chance when it was presented to him and thus ended up joining the older. their main destination had been the beach-- and there jaehyun could relax without worrying about being recognized. seungcheol got recognized more than he did anyway-- since he was still a new member of convex.  

"hyung," jaehyun turned his gaze from the ocean and towards seungcheol, smiling warmly a the older, "what are you doing?" he wonders as he notices him holding his phone up.

the ocean, was one of jaehyun's favorite places to visit-- it had been since he was young but he hadn't managed to visit the ocean for years, he had gone with nayeon the year prior but... he couldn't properly enjoy himself because of memories that he had while being there.

now he found himself almost completely free of negative thoughts, at least negative thoughts when it came to his older brother-- "the ocean is nice isn't it?" he suddenly says, out loud as he watches the siblings running around on the beach under the watchful eye of their parents, "what time is it? when did kangmin hyung want us to come back again?" he had completely lost track of time while out with the older male.

a starter for @seungcheolrk

[rkohsehun]

convex august schedule : crazy in love / don’t wanna cry new choreography and dance practice video

learning the choreography for their songs are always fun. it’s probably just him being biased, but he feels like their style have changed for the better as well. watching through the ceiling to floor mirrors in the practice rooms, he couldn’t help but notice how they have become more in synced, not to mention their movements have become more controlled. it has him smiling. knowing he’s able to grow with the members, in every sense of the word, makes him happy. he’s very lucky.

if asked, sehun wouldn’t be able to pick a favorite between the title track and its sibling song. both have their unique color and charm, even the choreography have a different feel for each. one thing he’s sure of is that both choreography have highlighted how good they look when they’re so in synced like this - the formation almost flawless as they move like a one whole unit. he wonders if people sees it and think of it as one of convex’s strength in their performances - a unique charm for convex. that would be nice, he muses.

big groups seem to be a thing nowadays, and it’s always strike him just how many members they have when their shoved inside the practice rooms like this to practice. it’s fun and the energy is always through the roof. it’s easier to put his all during practice because they can see everyone doing the same. it takes a while to get used to the different formation, to memorize how the transition should go and where he should be as they approach the next verse. still, when they take a short break and monitor their practice, it’s almost satisfying to see how good it looks overall when they perfect the song choreography.

will he sound too biased if he said the fans would want to learn the dance, too after seeing a polished video of the choreography? probably. but he can’t help but dance along to them as they monitor themselves.

it’s a fun dance - almost all of their choreography are fun and upbeat. it’s sort of become a signature of theirs. his favorite part is always the chorus - they’re speedy and filled with small movements, but it looks good when you got them all right. it’s one reason why he feels good when they perfect a set. it’s almost heavily tailored to fit a big group like theirs, but he’s also looking forward to the dance covers the fans will do once the video comes out. sehun hopes this album will be received with happy hearts by the fans as well, like their past albums.

ah, he’s excited.