#contraumia

[recovering-radqueers]

Helloo

Um... we found out about the "forceID" label, "Where one was or feels like they were forced into identifying as [thing]"

And one of us (currently unavailable to talk, writing this for them) felt the label really fit them in a lot of ways, but apparently its heavily associated with transID and its community and due to past experiences, they're extremely uptight about not using labels even somewhat related to transID stuff...

So, alternatives? Or, I have a feeling already existent alternatives wont really sit right for them, so coining suggestions would be nice too I guess? Or something like that

(coining as in like idk we could make our own label with a similar definition but strictly separate from the transID community)

Sorry this is ramble-y, tired lol

Hey, thanks for sending in this ask. So, myself and another mod looked for a couple days to see if there was an existing good-faith equivalent.

When it comes to feeling forced or otherwise made to identify as something, this was all we found:

Lured objectum: A type of objectum identity where one was/feels they were "lured" into being objectum. This can be for any reason, but an example might be associating an object/thing with someone/something you are already attracted to, eventually developing an objectum attraction towards the object. This can also include already being one type of objectum but being "lured" into another.

Dissoforcedmute: A subterm of dissomute(link) that can fall under dissotrauma(link). This is connected to thinking one is mute by external force and makes the person, whether it be because of delusional or IRL attachments, being an alter that voice differs from the body, psychosis, etc., feel disconnected from their external voice. This is not for "fun" or voluntary "I wanna have this", this also doesn't override the external voice the person has.

Depending on how you and this headmate feel about things, some of these other labels might fit but not all of them have that outright "I was forced" element to them and instead describe being changed by an event or something similar.

Tamenity: A term under the alterhuman umbrella describing an individual who feels that something has interacted with and/or affected their current (alter)human identity. Said identity did not fundamentally change as a result of it, but it is undeniably affected to a relevant extent. It may, for example, feel like one's identity was stained, dyed, or decorated by the interaction. Tamenous experiences can occur in this world as well as exomemories etc., and can be annotated positively or negatively.

Sedivitrauma: An offshoot term of dissomei/dissotrauma coined with blessing from the original coiner. There is no exact original term coining post, but there are reblogs of various subterms like sedivicsa, sediviisolation are archived. It exists as a way to say that delusions, psychosis, exomemories or some other feeling make the user feel like they have a trauma, and they want to distance themself from that trauma. Like dissomei, it's not intended to be treated as a fun "I want to be this" or "I want this to happen", but rather an acknowledgment of an experience and wanting to distance yourself from it.

Contraumia: Contraumia are identities which one are not and/or cannot be, but find themselves drawn to due to traumatic experiences. This is a vague term, able to refer to identities one wishes that they had, identities one heavily connects to, identities one has shared symptoms with, identities one keeps intrusively thinking they have despite not, and more. Contraumia was created as a way to express these feelings without being forced under the transid label. People with contraumia do not actually believe they “should be” these things or want to transition into them. They acknowledge the feeling is a result of their trauma but still wish to identify with it.

So, it doesn't look like right now there is a specific term umbrella for "feeling like you were forced into identifying as XYZ." One option is definitely coining some dissodic terms for it, since at least one person has made a term already that starts with "forced," and the definition of dissomei is having a disconnect between yourself and your actual situation, and it can be used because of involuntary disconnect caused by trauma, delusions, being a headmate, etc.

If you prefer to work on a new term to describe this experience, here was my idea at a definition:

An "identity" that the user feels like they were forced to identify as, and is now attached to the user whether or not they feel it fits properly or benefits them. They may feel distress about the identity, but are (currently) unable to detach from it, or feel like it will be a permanent scar/mark on their overall person.

If any of our followers know of terms that might fit these experiences please feel free to add on!

-Mod Ally🍄

[kiruliom]

osdd contraumia

osdd contraumia are contraumia which refer to other specified dissociative disorder. People with a osdd contraumia do not have other specified dissociative disorder, but feel some kind of connection to it due to trauma. This connection is probably unhealthy, as it is identifying with a disorder you don’t have while knowing you don’t have it. contraumia is a healthier alternative to transid, and isnt associated with transid/transx in any way

[no image ID, help is appreciated]

I know theres every osdd version on the to-do list but I couldnt find distinct flags for each of them to base them off of, so I made one for osdd in general, hope its okay ówò

[report-rqs]

Wow, I really like this term. /gen

The flag design is pretty great, and I really admire the way that you phrased this. You acknowledged that yes, a trauma-induced connection to something you don't have/are not is valid, but it can also be objectifying, and directly contributing to bigotry. This can be a really hard thing to swallow, but your definition of the term here does a great job of presenting a perspective that's both non judgemental of those dealing with this, and acknowleding that transID is anti-healing.

I haven't even found a specific contraumia term that matches my own personal feelings, but just knowing that this word exists makes me feel better about them. I feel seen, I feel safer and happier already knowing this term exists. All around, fantastic job, love it!

OP also answered this ask from an anon asking how this is different from transID, and an additional commenter helped to explain as well. Take a look.

About Contraumia

[ID] A 7 stripe flag split down the middle, with an octagon icon in the middle turned on one of its points and containing an x symbol. The stripe colors are light beige, white, violet, desaturated dark red, then violet, white, and light beige. The other half of the flag is the same, except the colors are darker, as if cast in shadow. The middle symbol is a white octagon outlined in the same desaturated dark red, and the x inside is the same color. [End]

Contraumia are identities which one are not and/or cannot be, but find themselves drawn to due to traumatic experiences. This is a vague term, able to refer to identities one wishes that they had, identities one heavily connects to, identities one has shared symptoms with, identities one keeps intrusively thinking they have despite not, and more.

Contraumia was created as a way to express these feelings without being forced under the transid label. People with contraumia do not actually believe they “should be” these things or want to transition into them. They acknowledge the feeling is a result of their trauma but still wish to identify with it.

—–

Flag Meaning:

Beige - Simple and generic. A representation of not actually being what the contraumia refers to.

White - The divide between feelings and truth.

Violet - Mental illness and divergence.

Red - Trauma and its effects.

Octagon - Inspired by hex bolts (inspired by lightning bolts being the disability icon), but changed because many flags already use hexagons.

X Symbol - Represents acceptance of being not what the contraumia refers to.

Split Design - In derived flags, the shadowed half will instead be a representation of what the contraumia refers to. In this case, the shadow represents the effects trauma has on one’s perception of self.

—–

- Q: Do I need to be traumatized to have contraumia?

To put it simply, if you have feelings like this, you probably are traumatized in some form (these feelings are extremely common for neglect victims). That said, people with delusions are free to use contraumia for IDs they have delusions about being, as there is a lot of overlap.

- Q: Are contraumia ableist/racist/etc.?

Under some circumstances, yes.

While it’s a rather broad term, one of the reasons someone may ID as a contraumia is because they don’t feel like what they experienced was “bad enough”, or they have some conception that people would be more willing to take care of them if they were that thing, or that they deserve the kind of perception people who are that get. This is both internalized and external ableism.

It’s also the intent of the ID. Contraumia are about realizing these feelings are not logical or true, very possibly objectifying, bigoted, or otherwise harmful, and accepting them as that. The first step to dealing with anything is accepting that it exists.

People who identify with contraumia should not be judged for it, as the label itself implies that they are working through the feelings.

- Q: Why make this an ID? Can’t people work through this sort of thing without making it part of them?

They can. However, this isn’t an ID because it needs to be, it’s an ID as an alternative to transid. Transid gathers a lot of people who have these feelings, and contraumia exists as a different perspective which promotes healing instead of doubling-down.

In that vein, sometimes having a label, a symbol, and seeing other people say it too, can be helpful in accepting these things.

[anti-rq-gumi]

Basics and Boundaries

Hi, my name is Gumi (she/her + any neos)! This is a discourse blog intended to fairly criticize the sentiments of radqueers without harassing or demeaning them.

pfp credit, banner credit, divider credit

DNI if you post irl gore or self harm. I will block you for my own mental health. Otherwise you are free to interact, including if you’re a radqueer or adjacent.

I have some additional discourse boundaries.

Stances:

Anti radqueer. I’m fully supportive of radqueers looking to leave the community and ex radqueers.

Neutral/complex/critical transIDs. Anti harmful transitioning. It’s important not to promote racism, ableism or other forms of harm when describing how you feel and what you want for yourself.

Atypical dysphoria supportive. Pro transID alternatives such as dissomei, desirdae, intusui, pollatio, contraumia and nichelink.

Paraphilia supportive. Anti contact paraphilias harmful if acted on. Minors cannot consent to adults, animals cannot consent to humans, and corpses cannot consent at all.

Anti abuse. This includes conabuse and fults.

Feel free to engage in discussion with me!

autistic userbox credit, dissodic userbox credit

[report-rqs]

Sometimes I am very tempted to create some type of Wiki to list terms that might be useful instead of transID. I don't know how you'd describe these terms as a whole, though. Is there a term that encompasses dissomei, aldernic, contraumia and similar terms?

[antipratfaves]

wills and wonts

written in its own section so people know what to request. if Billy gets anything that falls out of this Billy will redirect the requester here

will:

general anti-radqueer (will use anti--transid--moved's flag unless specified otherwise)

anti transid, anti pro-c para, anti-MUD, anti consang, anti-xenosatanist

specific anti-radqueer queer or punk stances (hazardqueer, yandequeer, traumapunk, radinclus, critinclus etc.)

non-rq experiences that get used by rqs as scapegoats (anti-c para, atypical dysphoria, OCD, BIID, FDIOS, psychotic and schizospec disorders, plurality)

non-rq communities that get lumped with them (mspec monos, lesboys/turigirls, anattractional spectrum, alterhumans, endogenics)

groups directly affected by the harm rqs cause (mainly transgender)

reclaimed versions of transid terms (transrace for adoptees, transage for chronosians/nevergrewups, transpecies for alterhumans etc.)

safe for work regressor terms (agere, petre)

alternatives to transid terms (aldernic, chronosian, contraumia, etc.)

arissomei terms and subterms

other things, just ask Billy beforehand!

wont

radqueers and sub or related ideologies (DUH)

safequeers and sub or related ideologies

exclusionist ideologies of any kind

anything regarding shipcourse (to avoid drama)

anything regarding syscourse (to avoid drama)

specific paras (to avoid drama)

oculoids (as the coiner turned out to be a pseudo-radqueer)

not safe for minor things (as a source is fine, but no terms. Billy's system is bodily a minor)

general queer terms unaffected by radqueers

dissoharmful or dissoimmoral subterms, as those are coined without the consent of dissomei's coiner.

likely some other things Billy doesnt remember, please ask Billy beforehand!

[gender-mailman]

Saw your request to iacon, for the "thinking you had a different divergency" there is Contraumia, the blog hasn't posted in a while but I actually run it I just uh. Haven't been coining for it

:00!!! That looks like what i was trying to say! :D Thank u!

[kiruliom]

old symbol | new symbol

"eccentric/quirky" singlet identity flags (name is a WIP qwq)

a flag for when you relate to the experiences of plurals (namely osdd-1 or median plurals) more than singlets, but do not show any easily noticeable symptoms of plurality other than that and therefore dont wanna label yourself as plural out of respect and concerns. this identity is commonly caused by other types of dissociative disorders, and/or plural contraumia.

template by localhazard (link) , hope you dont mind <:) also so sorry if this harms anyone and if so Im willing to take it down if so even if Id rather not

[antipratfaves]

Any chance you can make a list of terms that could be commonly used for the blog? /genq

sure!! of course Billy can!

general anti and ex terms (like anti prat, ex radqueer, anti xenosatanist, anti kandiqueer, anti transid)

reclaimed 'trans-' terms (such as transage, transpecies, transrace adoptee) or alternate terms (like chronosian, aldernic, contraumia)

atypical dysphoria or anti-c para terms (such as sunset para, sunday para, fluffy para, anti radqueer para. Billy will not use specific para flags like zoo or or dacry to avoid drama, jsyk!!)

queer stances that are anti-prat (like animequeer, eepyqueer, darlingqueer, pazqueer, yandequeer, clayqueer, sataniqueer, etc. Billy will research the stance to make sure its anti prat and anti harm)

disabilities and disorders commonly taken advantage of by prats (such as intellectual disability, plurality, BIID, ParaD, or OCD)

that is all Billy can think of but it will do anything adjacent to these as well! Billy hopes this helps.

[kiruliom]

contraumia!

YES YES YES THANK YOU SO MUCH I COULD HUG YOU (if youre okay with it)

I was so wrong about how I recalled the flag though lmao oops qwq

[kiruliom]

Many many many pat pats!!! I’m rushing to do things with 4% battery but im so excited for the contraumia terms!!! >:D pat pat pat pats mwehehehhe!!! (Random but super evil little guy laugh)

IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS ITS JUST SITTING ON MY TAB BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH!! so many pat pats today >:D

[kiruliom]

Daily pats have arrived !! Pat pat !!!!! >:]

I also want to say,, thank you so much for reposting contraumia,,it’s been exactly how I’ve felt for years and it just feels really nice to know there’s other beings experiencing it :] Have a lovely valentines hehehe 💐

thank you!! today went way better than I was hoping. and of course! I planned to make some subterms for it which is why I was searching for it so if you see any that you relate to it'd make me very happy >:D

[contraumia]

[ID] A 7 stripe flag split down the middle, with an octagon icon in the middle turned on one of its points and containing an x symbol. The leftside stripe colors are light beige, white, violet, desaturated dark red, then violet, white, and light beige. The right half of the flag is very dark desaturated blue, light blue, very dark desaturated blue, desaturated dark red, very dark desaturated blue, light blue, and very dark desaturated blue. The middle symbol is a white octagon outlined in the desaturated dark red, and the x inside is the same color. [End]

Dysthymia Contraumia

Dysthymia contraumia are contraumia which refer to persistent depressive disorder (also called dysthymia). People with a dysthymia contraumia do not have persistent depressive disorder, but feel some kind of connection to them due to trauma. This connection is probably unhealthy, as it is identifying with a disorder you don’t have while knowing you don’t have it.

Contraumia are an alternative to transid for people who recognize their feelings are not a reflection of who they are but a result of their trauma, and wish to heal rather than transition. Contraumia are not an alternative to self-diagnosis!

-----

Flag inspiration:

Icon-Friendly Depression Flag by @neopronouns

Dysthymia Pride Flags by nightmare-cubed (deactivated)

Related contraumia:

Depression Contraumia

-----

Please don't discourse on this post!

If you have questions about contraumia, my ask box is open.

[contraumia]

[ID] A 7 stripe flag split down the middle, with an octagon icon in the middle turned on one of its points and containing an x symbol. The leftside stripe colors are light beige, white, violet, desaturated dark red, then violet, white, and light beige. The right half of the flag is light fern green, sand yellow, light fern green, desaturated dark red, light fern green, fuchsia, and light fern green. The middle symbol is a white octagon outlined in the desaturated dark red, and the x inside is the same color. [End]

Bipolar Contraumia

Bipolar contraumia are contraumia which refer to bipolar disorder. People with a bipolar contraumia do not have bipolar disorder, but feel some kind of connection to them due to trauma. This connection is probably unhealthy, as it is identifying with a disorder you don’t have while knowing you don’t have it.

Contraumia are an alternative to transid for people who recognize their feelings are not a reflection of who they are but a result of their trauma, and wish to heal rather than transition. Contraumia are not an alternative to self-diagnosis!

-----

Flag inspiration:

Cyclothymia Flag by @neopronouns

bipolar flag for when you r bipolar and cool by @internetfriend

Related contraumia:

Cyclothymia Contraumia

-----

Please don't discourse on this post!

If you have questions about contraumia, my ask box is open.

[contraumia]

[ID] A 7 stripe flag split down the middle, with an octagon icon in the middle turned on one of its points and containing an x symbol. The leftside stripe colors are light beige, white, violet, desaturated dark red, then violet, white, and light beige. The right half of the flag is very dark desaturated blue, light green, very dark desaturated blue, desaturated dark red, very dark desaturated blue, light green, and very dark desaturated blue. The middle symbol is a white octagon outlined in the desaturated dark red, and the x inside is the same color. [End]

Depression Contraumia

Depression contraumia are contraumia which refer to depressive disorders. People with a depression contraumia do not have a depressive disorder, but feel some kind of connection to them due to trauma. This connection is probably unhealthy, as it is identifying with a disorder you don’t have while knowing you don’t have it.

Contraumia are an alternative to transid for people who recognize their feelings are not a reflection of who they are but a result of their trauma, and wish to heal rather than transition. Contraumia are not an alternative to self-diagnosis!

-----

Flag inspiration:

Icon-Friendly Depression Flag by @neopronouns 

Related contraumia:

Dysthymia Contraumia

-----

Please don't discourse on this post!

If you have questions about contraumia, my ask box is open.

[contraumia]

[ID] A 7 stripe flag split down the middle, with an octagon icon in the middle turned on one of its points and containing an x symbol. The leftside stripe colors are light beige, white, violet, desaturated dark red, then violet, white, and light beige. The right half of the flag is light fern green, dark green, light fern green, desaturated dark red, light fern green, dark orange, and light fern green. The middle symbol is a white octagon outlined in the desaturated dark red, and the x inside is the same color. [End]

Cyclothymia Contraumia

Cyclothymia contraumia are contraumia which refer to cyclothymic disorder. People with a cyclothymia contraumia do not have cyclothymic disorder, but feel some kind of connection to them due to trauma. This connection is probably unhealthy, as it is identifying with a disorder you don’t have while knowing you don’t have it.

Contraumia are an alternative to transid for people who recognize their feelings are not a reflection of who they are but a result of their trauma, and wish to heal rather than transition. Contraumia are not an alternative to self-diagnosis!

-----

Flag inspiration:

Cyclothymia Flag by @neopronouns

Related contraumia:

Bipolar Contraumia

-----

Please don't discourse on this post!

If you have questions about contraumia, my ask box is open.